


Vapors

by Electrasev5n



Series: Deja Vu and Dreams [1]
Category: Naruto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-27
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-01-17 06:36:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 103
Words: 660,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1377508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Electrasev5n/pseuds/Electrasev5n
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's droll and tacky of me to inflict yet another 'Naruto has a twin' story upon an unsuspecting world, but I did it anyway. Clearly, I'm an uncontrollable monster, and no one should pay any attention to me.</p><p>This ninja business? It isn't for the faint of heart. Luckily Aiko is far from faint, even if she did get stuck with a ridiculously girly name. </p><p>Definitely an OC story. A SI story depending on your definition-- her knowledge of Naruto as well as other modern things matches mine when I started the story, so I had some sort of basis for her advantages instead of doing research to give her things that would be convenient. (a la, Sure she's a chemist! Why not? She was a martial artist too, and she can build a better camera. There's none of that.). You won't ever see references to her first life: no name, family, or death. Of course, that lack of background comes with its own problems.</p><p>This is largely the same version as what is on fanfiction.net, with the exception of materials from about chapter 70 or so on that start arcs that are noncompliant with their guidelines or lead up to those situations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Kushina had heard that giving birth was a noisy, messy, and painful affair. So far, the pain wasn't much worse than what she encountered in her day-job, she was relatively clean, and the noise was coming from the father-to-be's alternately terrified and thrilled chatter to the long-suffering midwife doing arcane things under the sheet covering Kushina's knees. She heard the muffled phrase, "Hokage-sama, I _have_ done this before," for the third time, and tried not to laugh. It would hurt too much, she suspected.

Poor Sarutobi Biwako didn't seem to know if she wanted to be amused or kick Minato out of the delivery room. Patient woman. She was all but a saint, really.

Kushina gritted her teeth and tried not to react at the faces Minato was making, giving her genin teammate Mikoto a surreptitious hand-sign. It didn't really mean anything- it was an adaption of Minato's personal call sign with extra emphasis. The joke was at his expense, even if neither of them could quite verbalize how he was being teased for his near-panic.

The Uchiha grinned, her reserved nature overcome by her good mood. Kushina's smile became a little wider, until an especially vigorous contraction made her flinch. Her husband's eyes jumped to her face like she was an Iwa-nin with a big stick, looking just about as worried.

"Kushina!" Minato fluttered his hands in that girlish way he swore he didn't do, all but hovering at the slightest sign of discomfort.

"I'm fine," she stressed, working to keep signs of tiredness and effort off her face. "Honestly, 'ttebane, you'd think you were the one doing the work here! Why don't you calm down, huh?"

Mikoto snorted, and then ventured a guilty look at the Sandaime Hokage's wife, who was technically the senior physician present. The older woman didn't pay her any attention, but her assistant Taji-san leveled the Uchiha lady with an expression of amused tolerance that probably did nothing to make Mikoto feel less like a child.

"Hokage-sama!" Biwako-san said sternly, pulling her head up enough to give him a dark-eyed stare. Her tone implied that she was actually talking to an excitable child and not her military leader. "Calm yourself. Please focus your attention on the seal. Your wife is doing her work admirably, and you must do yours."

He probably wasn't meant to hear the muttered, "I always forget how weak and frightened men are, until I see one panic while his wife does all the hard work."

When Kushina looked over, Mikoto carefully pressed her lips into a thin line, forcing down visible amusement.

Mikoto wouldn't even have been present, had it not been for the fact that this birth was strenuous for so many reasons. Childbirth was enough of an ordeal on its own. When the mother was a jinchuuriki and having twins, it was terrifyingly complicated. Mikoto probably wouldn't be much help, but she was a certified medic nin and Kushina's best friend. At worst, she would be an extra set of hands to hold one infant while the more experienced medical ninja were occupied. She had to be there in case something went wrong.

She was probably doing a better job of helping keep Kushina calm than Minato, if truth were to be told.

An ugly smile had frozen on Kushina's face. Unbeknownst to her, it was considerably more worrisome than the screwed-up grimace she wanted to make. She swallowed, hard, and concentrated on pushing.

_'_ _I'd say I feel green, but my face is so hot I can only be red.'_

Perfect. She really was the tomato woman.

"It's crowning."

Correction. She was the tomato woman half-way through giving birth to twins! Kushina crowed in victory, straining so hard that she was mildly concerned she had popped a vein. Surely it was all downhill from here.

Twins had been an unexpected surprise. As far as she knew, there wasn't an Uzumaki tendency towards multiple pregnancies. She'd blame this happy anomaly on Minato, but the first time she had tried, Mikoto had bored her to tears with a lecture about eggs.

 _'_ _Eggs… I'm hungry. I could go for some victory ramen._ ' Kushina licked her dry lips, breathing through her nose. Minato misinterpreted the motion and hastily tipped a bit of ice-cold water into her mouth. She swallowed automatically and gave her twitchy husband a dry look.

Minato blinked down at her, painfully eager to do anything he could to alleviate her discomfort, even as his right hand remained firmly planted on the seal over her belly.

And suddenly she didn't have the heart to call him a dimwit pretty boy. It was too easy of a target, really. She could bully him later.

' _He's going to be on diaper duty,'_ Kushina decided seriously, grinning with far too much teeth. _'_ _I did the hard work for ten months, so I think he can have that minor problem for twenty months.'_

Hokage, ho-shmag-e. His job was important, sure, but not as important as their budding family. Twins was an awesome start, actually! It was so exciting, she was minutes away from being a parent. She was going to be the best mom ever. She'd take her babies everywhere and they'd fingerpaint together and she would teach them how to mess up their daddy's hair so that he squawked and flailed and- and- She was so happy.

"Uhhh," Kushina huffed, squeezing her eyes shut. She could do without this part, though.

There was a perfectly timed four-person gasp in the next moment, which Kushina barely heard over the ringing in her ears and the slick, struggling feeling of a decent amount of matter making an ungraceful exodus out of her uterus. Her gut roiled, and she couldn't breathe for a moment, as the second mass –now distinguishable from the first feisty infant—moved down to fill the void where the other had been.

"Girl," Biwako-san called briskly. After a moment, there was a shocked wail. Kushina heaved her head up through sheer force of will, straining for a glimpse. All she saw was Taji-san carefully cleaning what looked like a bundle of blankets, taking measurements and scans of some sort while Mikoto hurriedly copied them down on a clip board.

 _'_ _A girl, a girl, a girl,'_ Kushina chanted over the sounds of Taji soothing the infant, tears welling up from both pain and relief. That was odd, they'd thought the pregnancy was two identical boys, not a set of fraternal twins. Ha. They were going to have to go back to their old list of names. They'd never decided on a girl's name.

Neither of them actually cared about the gender, of course, but it gave her something silly to think about and keep her mood light while Minato worked on ensuring that she didn't inadvertently kill them with her uterus (or something. She was a bit fuzzy on the details of fuinjutsu-uterus interaction).

' _Maybe we'll let Mikoto-chan pick, since she's the godmother,'_ Kushina thought deliriously, heart so light with joy that it might rise out of her chest.

Her hand twitched on the bedsheet. Kushina gritted her teeth and avoided the urge to take her husband's hand. She wanted to touch him right now, but he needed his hands and attention. Not being able to hold his hand right now was a small sacrifice in exchange for safely bringing two little Uzumaki into the world.

 _'_ _I want to see them so badly,'_ she thought wistfully, for what had to have been the hundredth time. It'd be the first time she'd seen another Uzumaki since Mito-sama had given her the Nine-Tailed fox.

An ugly groan tore her from her thoughts. It took a moment to recognize that the sound had come from her lips. Kushina blinked dazedly, registering in the back of her mind that Mikoto-chan and Taji-san were having a hushed conversation over her baby-

"Check my readings, would you-"

"Odd-"

"-isproportional ratio of spiritu-"

Was something wrong? Distressed, Kushina tried to sit up on her cushions a bit more, eyes wide.

"Relax," Biwako-san cautioned. "Your girl is healthy. Do not fret. You shall see your children in a moment. You're doing very well, Kushina-chan."

With supreme effort, Kushina nodded. Biwako-san was right. She needed to keep working on her second child, and let the medics handle the first. Still, she noted that Mikoto-chan had finished filling out a chart and birth certificate, and was instead holding the bundle of green blankets that had to be her baby. Kushina could swear that she caught sight of a messy shock of wispy red hair—not a true, dark shade like hers, but something closer to the twists of orange in a sunset.

Then the spot of color was out of her line of sight as the Chuunin crooned, gently swaying with her burden. A beatific smile cracked across the small woman's face as she settled down in the back of the room, as far away from the commotion as possible.

_'_ _Mikoto-chan is going to be an amazing godmother. I know it.'_

Better than Mina-kun's choice of his scruffy sensei for godfather, but Kushina didn't really mind. She liked Jiraiya. His books were actually pretty funny. She'd used them to tease her genin teammates so many times—Shiba-kun still stuttered everytime someone so much as mentioned the word 'sex', despite having an infant of his own now.

The transition between being pregnant and being a mother was a disorienting one that rocked her body. Not more painful, exactly, but birth and after-birth were definitely memorable sensations. As soon as her head stopped spinning, Kushina heard Biwako-san's voice.

"A boy, Kushina-chan," the satisfied midwife declared, giving the medical check herself. That was odd, but Kushina didn't think about it. "And he's in perfect health!"

 _'_ _A boy? Aw, well, they can't both be super-surprising right at the start,'_ Kushina decided with a wild sort of joy. Naruto it was, then. Uzumaki Naruto had such a nice ring to it. She craned, trying to catch the first glimpse of her baby boy before Mikoto spirited him away to snuggle too.

"He's gorgeous," Taji-san added with a smile, beginning to gently towel him clean.

Minato took a deep, shuddering breath. For the first time Kushina saw that his eyes were swimming with unshed tears of happiness. The warm hands on her abdomen gently rose, and for a moment, he looked at her. The adoration in his gaze stunned her silent.

"Biwako-sama," he breathed, turning his head toward the tiny woman with the long brown ponytail. "May I-"

"No," Biwako-san said bluntly. Kushina let out a surprised peal of laughter at the pure shock on her husband's face. "The mother should see her children first. Mikoto-san, are you planning on stealing that baby, or may Kushina-chan see her daughter?"

Mikoto-chan stood with a rustle of clothing as quickly as she could, face burning bright red at the scolding.

Normally, Kushina would have drank in that sight gleefully. But Biwako-san had just nestled her baby boy in Kushina's waiting arms, and was peeling down a soft blanket to reveal-

A blade, sticking out of the front of Biwako-san's chest. Kushina's grip on her son nearly slipped out of pure shock.

Biwako-san gave a surprised gurgle, even as Taji-san shrieked and then fell, hot blood flying over Kushina's bare feet and the wet slap of meat falling against tile was a shocked counterpoint to the sudden coldness in Kushina's arms where a warm baby had been only an instant before. She didn't even register Biwako-san's knees buckling or the sound of Mikoto's sandaled feet skittering backwards.

She was too busy frozen, staring up at the masked man who was holding her baby boy with the business end of a kunai far, far too close to the delicate bundle. Minato was frozen—not in shock, but paralyzed by the underhanded threat. Even by shinobi standards, that was low.

"Oh kami," Mikoto whispered, shockingly loud in the silence.

"Fourth Hokage," slipped out from behind the sleek, abstract mask in a sinfully smooth rumble. Kushina felt like a rabbit, frozen in fear as she hadn't been before or since the day that she was kidnapped by Kumo-nin after her bloodline. "I wouldn't move if I were you."

"Please," Kushina begged, not even knowing what she was asking for. If it was possible, the pain on Minato's face became even harder to bear.

She couldn't tell, but the glance the masked man leveled on her might have been pity or condescension.

"How badly do you want this, I wonder?"

 _This_? This? Not a person, not a sweet baby boy, but an object?

"Come and take him from me."

And then both men were gone. Kushina wailed, in the instant before her mind caught up with her. Mikoto-chan rushed over, red eyes wide and fearful in her pale face. Kushina was already forcing herself to stand.

"What do we do? Wai- Kushina, you can't be up right now! You just gave birth."

"Don't care," Kushina gasped, forcing feeling into her numb legs and ignoring the feeling of wetness against her thighs. She stepped over Biwako-san and Taji-san with a one-minded determination despite the scream of grief in her mind, moving to the streets. "It shouldn't be hard to find the fight. I-"

She cut herself off, shocked despite reason at the sight of four mangled, bloody corpses just outside the door to her delivery room. Had she given it thought she would have known that the ANBU guard must have been defeated, but-

"What about your daughter?" Mikoto asked in a hushed tone, clearly scanning for enemies or traps. "What if he wants her too?"

Kushina whirled on her long-time friend and grabbed her shoulders. "Miko-chan, can I ask you a favor?" she asked with a choked laugh.

Mikoto-chan blinked away tears. "Anything."

"Get my baby to the Hokage tower. There'll be plenty of backup there. I'll meet you as soon as I can, alright? If I get back my son, then that man won't be able to use him against Minato." She leaned over and pushed down a bit of fabric with trembling fingers before placing a kiss to the sweet little forehead she hadn't yet had chance to examine. "Mikoto-oba-san will keep you safe, okay," she promised waveringly, trying not to cry.

"Yes, I will," Mikoto-chan agreed, leaning her forehead against Kushina in the closest approximation to a hug she could manage while holding an infant. "I'll take the underground. Through ANBU."

"Good idea."

With that, Uchiha Mikoto watched her best friend disappear into the twilight with a heavy heart. After a moment, she moved to re-cover the infant and held the girl closely to her chest. "Don't worry, sweetheart," she whispered. "Mama's gonna save the day."

Only then did she realize that the infant was oddly silent—as if she had been shocked into fearful quiet by the rapid events. But she couldn't possibly comprehend what was going on, she was less than an hour old. Ridiculous. It felt like an omen, that even the baby acknowledged the seriousness of the situation. But Mikoto forced those thoughts away and instead took advantage of the silence as a blessing, moving rapidly towards what she hoped was safety.

Of course, when an explosion of red-hot chakra seeped in unholy fury washed across her not ten minutes later, Mikoto wept out loud.

 _'_ _Kushina, be safe,'_ she prayed, despite suspecting that her best friend was already dead.

* * *

A very confused and unhappy girl in the hospital got her own name two days after the blur of pressure and noise and the swish of pretty dark hair that had defined her first day in the world of chakra and shinobi.

It was lucky that she was even awake long enough to register the incident. The sound of childish wails in the hospital nursery was constant enough that she had learned to sleep through it, and infants seemed to do nothing but sleep. She opened her eyes despite not being able to interpret the human-shaped blurs that moved around her. Her sight was poor, but her keen hearing did her no good because the sounds she recognized as language certainly weren't in her language.

When she was picked up by warm hands and bundled against a bony male chest while the woman who had lifted her hovered nearby, she awoke enough to squint up at the pointy blur that she assumed was a face.

To be fair to her confusion, it didn't really fit the pattern for a face. The top half of the shape was right—there was a shock of light colored hair, a pointy nose, and a dark grey eye. But only one eye. And try as she might, she couldn't pick out a mouth.

The boy holding her had to have one, however, because the slight rumble of his chest coincided with the sounds that bubbled up around her. When an over large hand appeared in her field of vision she grabbed at it instinctively, and followed it back to a much more conventional face. It had two eyes and everything, as well as pretty red lips.

Without a conscious decision, she gurgled and tightened her grip around the finger offered. Red lips split into a tired smile.

The only word she caught out of what the woman said next was 'Aiko', and that was only because it had been in the short phrase spoken a moment earlier by the boy holding her. She fell asleep almost immediately. It took a few more days for her to realize that Aiko was her name.

* * *

October fourteenth

"You did not recognize the man who attacked?" Sarutobi Hiruzen repeated, his dry tone implying that he didn't find the statement particularly persuasive.

Uchiha Mikoto bristled a little bit, before Fugaku's calming presence at her side brought her back to earth. He wouldn't want to see her lose her temper. "No," she said, as calmly as she could manage. "I did not recognize him. As I said, he was wearing a mask."

"Just one man killed four ANBU operatives, my wife" –his voice shook- "a Chuunin medic-nin, and led to the deaths of the Yondaime Hokage and his wife not two hours later. You were the only person that he spared who might tell of what had been done. That seems like the kind of man you might remember."

Mikoto exchanged a disturbed look with her husband.

"Are you attempting to imply that my wife has lied about what she witnessed?" Fugaku asked, disapproval and shock warring for prominence in his tone.

There was a moment of silence, and then the Hokage painted on a smile that did not seem particularly genuine. "No, of course not."

That meant yes.

"You must understand, however," he continued, "that the situation is unusual."

"Keeping orphans away from their legal guardian?" Fugaku butted in. "I would say so, yes."

His mouth shut so suddenly that his teeth clacked when the Sandaime gave him a hard-eyed look with the full brunt of his displeasure. The power couple were unpleasantly reminded that no matter how old, no matter how diminished, the man in front of them was their superior in every meaning of the word.

"You are of course aware that the person who released the Nine-Tailed fox had to have been an Uchiha," the Sandaime said quietly.

The world tilted.

" _What_?" Mikoto let the word fall from her lips without thought for how undignified it was. "That is-"

"Absurd, a children's story!" Fugaku continued, his voice like thunder. "It is utterly baseless, an accusation without merit."

Now that his pride had been offended he went on furiously, and Mikoto squeezed her eyes shut just for a moment. She wished that her husband would keep his temper. He had wanted to come to provide her support in making her arguments, but if he became aggressive, her chances of leaving with her two youngest babies were harmed.

"Please, Hokage-sama," she broke in, her quiet voice forcing her husband to flicker his eyes to her and stop talking. "I do not understand. Kushina-chan made me the guardian of her children. Let me take my babies and go home. They are all I have left of her. Surely you do not claim that I would do less than my best to care for the twins, or that I am incapable. I have the time, the love, and the resources to give them a better life than their parents had."

That was a low blow, and it made the Sandaime cringe, just a little. Kushina and Minato had both been orphaned at young ages. Neither of them would have wanted that for their children. And Mikoto was an excellent mother.

"We can provide everything they will ever need," Fugaku broke in, perhaps sensing that the Sandaime was weakening. "The Yondaime's children will want for nothing."

His statement had the opposite effect it was intended to. The Sandaime's face creased in disapproval. "Uchiha-dono, no one but the clan heads now know that those children belonged to the Yondaime," Hiruzen said stiffly. "We must take that name out of the discussion completely when we place the children. While it was impossible to keep Kushina-chan's pregnancy a secret and many will be looking for her child, any considerations related to their father are counterproductive."

In other words, the Sandaime thought that Fugaku wanted the twins because of the prestige they could bring the clan. He wasn't wrong, exactly. Fugaku would have supported Mikoto's bid for Kushina's children if they were not politically important. But since they were, his interest was piqued.

Her husband's face soured momentarily, but he wasn't fazed. "Then we shall absorb them into the clan without giving hint as to their parentage."

"A blonde boy and a redheaded girl," Sarutobi remarked dryly. "They will not blend in well with your clan."

"We can color their hair," Fugaku dismissed. "I assume that you planned to deny them their name, in order to keep them secret. We can offer them a surname and the protection that comes with it."

"They will become officially known as Uzumaki to honor their mother when the time comes to fill out their Academy paperwork," Hiruzen said mildly, picking up his pipe and tapping at it. "Until then, nameless they shall remain."

Fugaku clearly didn't understand why the Hokage would choose to treat the children as peasant orphans when they could have the prestige of a clan name, but forged ahead regardless. "They would be as my own children," he continued stiffly.

"And then in twenty years Naruto would be Hokage and Aiko-chan would be married to Itachi," Hiruzen said dryly.

Mikoto tried not to wince. That had probably been Fugaku's plan, yes, with the exception that Fugaku probably wouldn't have cared which of his sons Aiko ended up marrying.

The village was nowhere near ready to accept an Uchiha kage. But the child of the Yondaime, raised by the Uchiha—that would be a different matter, one that inextricably tied the clan to the highest echelons of the village for generations to come. It would be the political coup of the century.

But that wasn't what she cared about (though she wouldn't protest too loudly either if it happened naturally). Mikoto did not want to use Kushina's babies as devices for political positioning. She wanted to love them and raise them well in honor of her dead friend.

She realized with a sinking heart that it was too late. Now that Fugaku and the Sandaime were thinking of the twins in terms of their political value, the legal protection of her supposed guardianship and the emotional arguments she could muster would do no good.

 _'_ _He mentioned that the clan heads all knew of the twins' parentage,'_ Mikoto suddenly realized, connecting an unpleasant thought. She voiced her suspicion, already knowing the answer.

"Other clans have already petitioned for guardianship," she said flatly.

Hiruzen looked mildly surprised at her leap in logic, but nodded in acknowledgment after a moment. "Yes," he agreed. "They have."

The snub caused Fugaku to freeze in shock for a moment. Their legal petition for guardianship was being blocked by clan politics. All the other clans should have been able to recognize that the Uchiha claim was the strongest and backed down. That they didn't meant that their clan's position was far more tenuous than they had realized.

The Uchiha power couple seemed to take a deep breath as one. "This childish accusation," Fugaku said stiffly, "has poisoned the Uchiha clan's good name." When that garnered nothing but a steady stare, he prompted; "What would you have me do to prove our innocence?"

Sarutobi Hiruzen gave a thin, tired smile that implied there was little that the Uchiha could do, or that they would not like the options. "Find the masked man," he said delicately, skirting around his obvious skepticism of Mikoto's un-collaborated story. "Convince the other clans that the Uchiha were not at fault." His eyes moved to Mikoto alone. "Persuade Jiraiya to give up his legal claim to guardianship."

She pressed her lips shut to keep from gaping at the unfairness there. Jiraiya was long gone from the village, and didn't look to be returning any time soon. It seemed that the Hokage had appointed himself Jiraiya's spokesperson, and he was clearly immune to her persuasion. Becoming the twins' sole guardian seemed all but impossible. Nor would she _want_ to wrest Jiraiya's honorary parenthood away, even if she thought she could cow him or his mentor. However ill-suited he was to childcare, the twins were all he had left of Minato-san. She couldn't do that to him.

"Very well," Fugaku said stiffly, acknowledging the demands without agreeing. "Please excuse my wife and I, Hokage-sama." He gave a faultlessly proper bow that Mikoto echoed dully, though the move was not as deep and deferential as it would have been on another occasion.

Etiquette demanded that she echo the farewell, but Mikoto kept her lips together and merely gave the Hokage a baleful stare before she turned to follow her husband away.

A chill raised the tiny hairs at the back of Mikoto's neck as she truly considered, for the first time, what the Sandaime's stress and suspicions might lead him to suspect of her in particular. As she was the only surviving witness…

It didn't look good for her argument that the Uchiha had been uninvolved.

The fact that she had been spared was puzzling even to Mikoto, however. That unfortunately meant that she couldn't explain it. Kushina had made it out of that room because the masked man had needed to trick her into the open where the Nine-Tailed fox could be released. Perhaps Mikoto had been spared as a smokescreen against his true intentions? Or… had her salvation been in the fact that she was holding the other infant?

Mikoto tried not to let her doubt and confusion show on her face. She wouldn't have killed a woman holding in infant unless there was no other choice, but she had seen that masked man hold a kunai to an infant. Surely he didn't possess such sentimentality and reserve.

 _'_ _He called Naruto-kun 'it',_ ' Mikoto remembered. ' _He had already rationalized that Naruto-kun was a tool for him to use. If he had really intended to kill Naruto-kun, he would be dead.'_ She shuddered. She hadn't considered it before, but the masked man must have been gentle and conscientious of the burden in his arms in order to avoid harming a newborn while engaged in a fight against the babe's father.

The theory that a soft spot for babies had saved her life was looking a little more likely. That didn't change the fact that the most obvious explanation, to the Sandaime at least, was that the masked man had spared her because she was the clan head's wife.

Being the Uchiha clan head's wife apparently carried much less currency than it had a week prior, however. It was positively unheard of for a custody dispute like this. When Mikoto managed to calm her breathing, she almost couldn't believe what had just happened.

This wasn't the Hokage unfairly refusing her good claim. This was the Hokage illegally retracting the guardianship that she had possessed the moment that Minato and Kushina had passed on. She knew her husband wasn't going to take this well. The Uchiha had fallen far indeed when they didn't receive the legal protection offered to other citizens.

Her heart sunk low even as she arrived home and took solace in cuddling Sasuke and breathing in his sweet baby scent. The situation seemed grim, but she wasn't giving up. This wasn't over. It didn't matter if the Hokage disagreed: she wouldn't leave those children alone, even if she couldn't take them in. There had to be something else she could do.


	2. Chapter Two

Aiko didn't like to think about those early days of blearily drifting in and out of consciousness, realizing that the world was a blur of strange colors and smells and feelings that she couldn't properly interpret.

First of all, it was strange and frightening that she could remember it at all. She certainly shouldn't. At three years old, she was discerning enough to know that she was a complete freak and just savvy enough to keep her lips sealed shut instead of babbling even though some part of her realllly wanted to impress the grownups she knew. It would be satisfying to impress her caretakers and the other adults she saw, and maybe get special treatment. But in the long run? It felt like a terrible idea.

_'For me and for Naruto. What would happen if I got taken away? No one cares about him.'_

"Hey! Heyyyyyy," Naruto whined, tugging on her foot. He was sitting with his legs spread wide on the floor and staring beseechingly up at where she was perched on the bed. "What doing?"

She did her best not to grimace, both at the grammar and at the way that the toddler guilelessly rubbed his fist against his runny nose and then onto his shirt.

It wasn't his fault, really, that he was a comparatively normal child. When the fact that he was a jinchuuriki was taken into question, that fact took on an alarming pallor.

 _'I don't even like kid_ s,' she thought resentfully, for the nth time. ' _It's not fair.'_

"I'm looking at pic-tures," Aiko said carefully to minimize the way her clumsy tongue stumbled over harder syllables. She turned the glossy children's book –an encyclopedia of sea creatures thinly guised as a story—in her hands to show her otouto. "Would you like to see?" She clumsily patted the cushion next to her, carefully avoiding looking at her stubby fingers. She already knew they looked like fat sausages without watching. Naruto made a face, but climbed up beside her, using another pillow as a step-stool and nearly slipping.

 _'_ _I hate this pathetic body,_ ' Aiko thought dully, turning the book back to the first page. _'_ _It can't do anything right.'_

Granted, she suspected that the flesh bag she was currently interred in was of vastly superior quality to her old one. The comparison was probably like a new Camaro and a fifteen year old Grand Am. They were both technically cars, and they looked fine at first scrutiny. But no matter how great her three-year-old flesh bag was for such a small sack of meat, it was still the body of a young child. It tired easily and needed rest often. Her fingers were fat and clumsy, and she had a hard time utilizing fine motor skills for things like coloring.

Her otouto wiggled beside her, making a strange high-pitched 'eeeeee' sound for no apparent reason. When that garnered no reaction but a tilted head, he huffed loudly and bounced, shaking the bed. "What's the story?" Naruto demanded bossily, prodding the book with an outstretched finger. When he grabbed for the pages, she pulled it away.

"There's not really a story," Aiko demurred, trying to keep the sigh out of her voice. There were picture books with words she could guess at, yes, but she wasn't going to touch those until it was well and age-appropriate for her to do so. She was bored out of her gourd, but it wasn't worth the risk.

At least not until she knew what was going on well enough to gauge the risks of gaining adult attention, anyway. She didn't know much about how ninjas trained or dealt with prodigy children, but she didn't think it was anything she would like to experience.

For the first few weeks or months, she'd thought that she was completely insane. To be fair, an infant had a horrendously poor grip on reality. She hadn't been able to see well, struggled to stay awake for very long, and she certainly hadn't understood anything that was being said. It had seemed like a waking dream when she had first made the connection between her current existence and a half-remembered television show that she had apparently never finished watching. Pity. She really couldn't have predicted that would become relevant to her survival and lifestyle.

Naruto was simultaneously the reason she questioned her sanity and the one consistent source of human interaction that was keeping her from going absolutely insane. She needed him.

Naruto made a rude sound that implied he wasn't going to accept the answer that there was no story. Fair enough.

She glanced around futilely, as if to be sure she was alone. The beautiful dark-eyed lady who volunteered at the orphanage and had them call her 'aunt' was nowhere to be seen. She had probably left for the day—Aiko was relatively sure that the woman had children of her own to tend to.

That didn't mean the twins were alone. She didn't see one often, but there was at least one ANBU who followed them around.

Well. She'd just have to speak slowly and try to keep her diction to something believable.

"This fish is named Marlin," Aiko said quietly, pointing out an illustrated koi. That wasn't the right type of fish at all, but it wasn't as if Naruto would know the difference. "He's scared of everything. Like this shark," Aiko pointed as she turned the next page. The blue-green color of the water in the books was like her eyes. The sky was like Naruto's. They looked nice together. "And he's scared of this walrus, too," she improvised. That wasn't in the right story, but there weren't any sea turtles in this book. She'd have to make do. There was in fact a barracuda, but she wasn't going to tell her little brother a grim story about a mother being murdered.

"Why?" Naruto breathed, staring, transfixed at the glossy images.

"Well, bigger fish are dangerous," she said practically. "And sharks eat fish." She couldn't hold back the grin at the disgusted face Naruto made and the way he buried his face in his hands and shook his head.

"Nuh-uh," he rejected. The words were a direct contrast to the fascinated glee on his face. His big blue eyes practically glittered.

She knew what was coming, but Aiko still waited to hear it with amused fondness.

"Tell me more."

* * *

"Our great village was founded…"

Her civilian teacher's voice was a comforting drone seeping in one ear and out the other. Aiko wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to a thing that the man said.

There was no need to, really. History wasn't going to help her much. Besides, the propaganda lightly dashed with facts that he was sharing would be repeated in other classes, she was sure. As they grew older they would probably get the party line reinforced, peppered with darker inclusions as they became age appropriate.

Or what counted for age appropriate in a shinobi village, in any case. Half of the picture books back at the orphanage included references to violence, indexes and identification games of weapons, and casual mention of death that was doubtless meant to serve as a reference for appropriate grieving behaviors. The other half were perfectly standard, trite works with cute animals and pretty children with two loving parents and an extended family who taught them various lessons.

(Aiko had no idea which sort was more harmful to Naruto. The sweet banal picture books of happy families filled him with a wistfulness that was painful to see, but watching as the darker texts normalized the shinobi lifestyle made her want to tear them all up).

"In the fiftieth year of the ninja, the great clans…"

Dull as dirt. No wonder that Naruto was nearly nodding off on his desk. That was probably a better use of time than listening, Aiko thought. It wasn't her plan for the day, however.

She was instead preoccupied with practicing her hiragana. Painstakingly, Aiko bit the tip of her tongue in concentration and tried not to let her hand wobble as she copied stilted and blotchy figures next to the perfect printed versions.

"Pay attention, class," came the light scolding from the head of the classroom. The boy beside Aiko jerked guiltily, but she didn't react.

The teacher didn't frighten her. What was he going to do? Really, the power that he used to maintain classroom control was all dependent on the fact that children hadn't yet realized just how little he could do to keep them in line. The psychological intimidation wasn't going to work on a girl who was 21-going-on-4, and the elderly civilian man who taught her homeroom class at school wasn't about to resort to physical intimidation.

The twins had only been attending civilian school for a few short months, but the routine was solid enough that Aiko was taken aback when a pretty Chuunin with a wide smile and a red bow in her hair came to pick them up and took them to Hokage tower.

Aiko pressed her lips together in a stern expression that she knew was uselessly cute on her pudgy, pink-cheeked face and strained her toes toward the floor. Her feet were dangling over the edge of the plastic waiting room chair that she was seated quietly on. By contrast, Naruto had climbed up on top of his and was talking at a mile a minute to an obviously disinterested secretary and a now overwhelmed Chuunin.

 _'_ _I know that Naruto is supposed to be close to the Sandaime. I should have suspected that they would meet soon.'_

She watched silently, remaining aloof from the conversation that followed when they were escorted into the Hokage's office. Naruto was outright thrilled, bouncing around with all the energy that a four-year old jinchuuriki could muster (and that was an impressive amount of energy, to be frank).

"And what do you think, Aiko-chan?" the old man attempted to bring her into the conversation.

Aiko blinked, taking a moment to steady herself. What did she think?

 _'_ _I think that you're pathetic for taking advantage of a little boy's loneliness and culturally homogenous hero worship of you in order to coerce him into agreeing to a military career years before he's mentally and emotionally capable of making that decision.'_

Nope, that probably wasn't the best idea.

 _'_ _No, don't sign me up for shinobi training. I don't want to be a ninja. It seems scary. I'm not scared of dying at all because everyone does, but I don't see any reason to get involved in a violent caste system and kill people for a living.'_

She was going to be a ninja whether she wanted to be or not. She was four years old; no one was going to let her make her own decisions, and it would be a waste not to at least attempt to put the fourth Hokage's kids through the shinobi Academy.

In the end, she just shrugged and regarded the old man with cool turquoise eyes.

He seemed fairly off-put by her lackluster reaction, but gracefully enough turned back to Naruto. The blonde was an eager conversationalist, if not a particularly creative or clever one.

Aiko wasn't surprised to find herself bundled off to the shinobi academy when a new term started a month later. She was a bit surprised to find out that the other first year students were six years old, but a moment's thought wrapped up that mystery. The term lengths meant that their classmates would graduate at the age of twelve, which fit with what she remembered. Theoretically she and Naruto should probably graduate at ten, then, except that it seemed likely that the Academy was actually being used as a babysitter in their case and not a device to crank out soldiers even earlier than usual.

Putting the twins in the Academy meant that she and Naruto were under a trained and trusted shinobi's attention for the bulk of the day. It probably freed up their ANBU stalker for more important work. Like shaving cats, or going home and licking their mirrors. Whatever. The point was that it had to be mind-numbingly dull to stare at toddlers all day.

Accordingly, Aiko didn't trust the kind-faced woman who was their first teacher at the Academy. She didn't understand the type of person who would agree to spend so much time around so many children that weren't hers: or at least, do so in order to teach them to kill. It was hard for Aiko to dismiss that as a strongly developed maternal instinct, assuming as she did that it would be damn hard to teach class after class of cannon fodder when the majority of them died a year after graduation. But Katade-sensei didn't seem to be the ice-old that Aiko thought was necessary to survive that type of heartbreak.

_'There's something wrong with her. She would be doing field work if there wasn't.'_

Even if Katade-sensei hadn't kept a wide berth from the twins, Aikowouldn't have had a thing to do with her.

At least Naruto was easy to figure out, although she admittedly had an advantage. He had simple desires, as did the other carpet sharks in the Academy class. He wanted to play (and couldn't understand why no one played with him after they had talked with their parents) and he wanted to eat too much sugar (until he threw up, at which point he would try again) and he most certainly did not want to do his homework because it was legitimately too hard for him and he cried when he failed all his assignments.

Aiko spent two years with the smiling woman who taught very small children, and didn't understand her any more at the end than she had when she was four. Katade-sensei was a blank wall, even if her voice was kind.

Maybe it was a shinobi thing? Or maybe… Aiko frowned, rubbing her fingers against her copper-toned hair, ignoring the fact that it was slightly grubby from the outdoor part of class where they had practiced falls and done agility work. Maybe it was just something that some people could turn on and off. A figurative mask that kept the outside world from peeking underneath to what really mattered.

Funny that it took her so long to figure out that she had anything in common with sensei. Aiko's secrets were probably much bigger. She stuck by that opinion, even when Katade-sensei became increasingly thin, grey, and harried. One day she simply never returned to class.

She eyed the nervous young man who had replaced Katade-sensei with tired resignation.

"Ohayo, class," he forced out with a pathetic imitation of confidence. The following smile looked more than a bit queasy. "I'll be your teacher from now on. My name is Umino Iruka. Any questions?"

He fielded several queries about his hair, where sensei was, and if he had a girlfriend, before Iruka-sensei called on Aiko. His expression was guarded and a bit uncomfortable. She thought she knew why—she was sitting right next to Naruto. Iruka-sensei probably didn't know what to think.

"Is Katade-sensei dead?"

Aiko knew her blunt guess was true by the way that Iruka gaped at her. She settled back in her chair and shook her head. "Never mind," she said mildly, without care for the way that Hyuuga Neji's eyes narrowed at her or that an Akimichi girl with rosy cheeks looked about to burst into tears.

She didn't pay much attention to the rest of proceedings—roll call, syllabus, and other dull minutia. Her curiosity was satisfied.

_'She's not really real anyways.'_

"Hey," Naruto hissed, leaning over the space between them. The girl in front swiveled to give them both a dirty look, obviously confused by her inability to understand what the boy was saying.

Aiko gave the girl a dry, steady look until she turned around. Then she blinked at her otouto and replied likewise, in English. "What's up?"

"Why did you ask that?" Naruto's brow furrowed. "and do you think Iruka-sensei will be nicer than the last lady?"

"De- You there!" Iruka-sensei barked, sounding firm and scary for the first time. It only took him a moment to stride on long legs to the back of the classroom where the Uzumaki twins were sitting. He had eyes only for Naruto—angry brown eyes, specifically, and tense hands that clapped down on Naruto's desk as the teenager loomed. "Why would you think it was acceptable to talk in my classroom?"

Naruto's big blue eyes wavered in shock and hurt as he sank back into his chair, fighting off tears. Aiko inhaled steadily through her nose, gritted her jaw together painfully, and stared at Iruka-sensei with feelings that were less than pleasant. If he'd been asked to describe her eyes at the moment, he might have said that she looked like she thought he was trash on her shoe. It didn't matter. He wasn't looking at her.

"I would say not," Aiko said steadily into the sudden hush as Iruka glowered, waiting for an answer from a small child. She hadn't pegged him for a bully. It was a shame.

She ignored the bout of confused expressions at the use of a foreign language and carefully got out her favorite pencil, turning to the middle of her notebook and going back to practicing kanji. She didn't feel any need to clarify or explain herself. English was her first language, after all, and she had made it Naruto's as well. It wasn't as if anyone else had been lining up to teach him language skills and she had needed someone to talk to.

A strange person was vying for that, actually. When the new term had rolled around with a new class of six-year-olds, a great deal of them had been very familiar. Chibi Sasuke was the oddest of all, because he was such a friendly little thing.

If she didn't know better, she would say that he'd been pressured by his parents to befriend them. Unfortunately for the possibility of Uchiha-Uzumaki friendship, the brunet had shown Naruto up in aerial weaponry skills and classroom knowledge from the first week. Naruto was too embarrassed, jealous and resentful to accept Sasuke's clumsy overtures, and Sasuke was too guileless to understand that he would have better results if he made sure not to make Naruto feel inadequate.

It took him a while to attempt approaching her. Perhaps it was some little-boy instinct to try other boys before girls. It could just as easily have been that Aiko wasn't particularly approachable.

"Uzumaki-san?"

Itty bitty Sasuke had a bit of a lisp, she noted. That was unfairly cute.

"Would you like to share my bento?" He held the box out awkwardly, over-large baby eyes fixed studiously on the point between her eyes, as if he'd been taught to make eye contact was wasn't comfortable with it yet. "My mom makes a lot, and I just…" Sasuke trailed off, and dug at the floor with a sandal despite his attempts to look grownup.

"Thank you for the offer. I have my own lunch, though."

She left him standing there mildly flustered and pink, as if he didn't have a set response for someone being that rude. Yeah, he was an adorable kid, but he was just that: a kid. Naruto was all the kid she needed in her life, thank you very much. She wasn't a babysitter and it sounded absolutely exhausting to dumb herself down to a child's level in personal interactions as well as those she already had to perform for adults.

Despite her resolution to stay away, her eyes drifted over to Sasuke while Naruto was still scrambling to find his left shoe so they could leave for the day. The brunet all but ran to a woman in a gorgeous kimono with long dark hair whipping gently in the wind. Aiko watched for longer than was probably polite, but she never saw the woman who was probably Sasuke's mother turn around enough to get a clear look at her face.

Pity. She seemed oddly familiar. Maybe it was her hair—it was unfairly beautiful.


	3. The Fox and the Hound

Point of view: Hound

Naruto was crying, great hiccupping sobs shaking his tiny shoulders. Hound cringed a little and skittered backwards. For the first time he found himself falling back on one of Minato-sensei's mannerisms—he fluttered his hands uncertainly, not knowing what to do with them.

He wanted- he wanted the crying to stop, both because the noise was horrendous and because there was no need for Naruto to be sad.

 _'_ _He's six,'_ Kakashi thought incredulously. ' _Why would such a little thing upset him so? When I was six…'_

Granted, when he was six, he was already a shinobi and had fought for his life. Perhaps the comparison was invalid. Still… He didn't know quite what to do about a child breaking down into tears over being snubbed by a prospective friend's parent.

It had been more than unfair. Naruto had been happily chasing a brunette girl with trailing pigtails across the playground when the girl's mother had snapped to attention, noticed her child's playmate, and barked out that they were going home. Naruto had watched the confused exodus with a blank expression that told Hound and any other discerning observers that the boy understood he had just been deemed an unsuitable playmate. And why not? It wasn't the first time.

The blond had turned and headed home without another word, clumsily unlocking the door to the apartment he shared with his sister using the key hanging around his neck. He had then proceeded to crawl onto the couch and bawl his eyes out.

Hound caught himself wishing that Aiko hadn't chosen today to haunt the library, so that she could comfort her twin. She seemed to be the comparatively logical one, reserved and quiet. Had he only seen her in public he would have thought she was a stone-faced little girl, but she was considerably different around Naruto. Fond and –indulgent, perhaps?

He licked the inside of his lips, feeling vaguely guilty for being such a sub-par human being that he would rely on the parenting expertise of a six year old girl.

But what else could he do? Hound couldn't do a thing himself, even if he were allowed to show himself to Naruto. He didn't have the social skills. The only children he'd ever dealt with were… were…

Hound backed out of the apartment without alerting the child that he had ever been there and rushed through a familiar series of handsigns in the hallway. A moment later, Pakkun, the proud new father of a litter of five puppies, blinked up at him.

His request was wordless and nearly instantaneous, a combination of handsigns and pleading body language.

Severely unimpressed, the pug raised one ear and tilted his head. "Not now, pup," Pakkun said lowly. "I'd call Bisuke, if I were you. He's good with puppies, and he won't accidentally shout out if someone pulls his tail or pets his fur the wrong way."

"Right," Kakashi said quietly, acknowledging the logic there. "Thank you, Pakkun."

The pug nodded, hesitating. After a moment, he sighed. "I wouldn't mind playing with them when I'm not so busy," he admitted balefully. "I do love puppies."

Hound shook his head. "I think this is a one-time deal."

With that, he released the summoning and called upon the right dog. Forty seconds later, Naruto's head shot up at the sound of scratching against the door. He sniffled, giving it a suspicious stare. After a few moments of continued scratching and quiet whines, the boy hauled himself up and answered the door.

Bisuke bowled him over with gentle enthusiasm, licking the salt off his face and nuzzling. Naruto gave a surprised giggle.

Hound nearly smiled under his cold mask as the boys rolled around on the floor and wrestled. There, he'd problem-solved without a six-year old's help.

And this was supposed to be the relaxing mission, a break from real ANBU work. Ha. Protection detail was far more stressful than anything he did outside the village, in some ways. He was good at hurting people. Keeping them safe was a personal weakness.

When the older twin came home, Bisuke's ears pricked to attention. Hound silently dismissed ANBU Crow. The boy nodded and left. There was no need for two watchers now that the twins were in the same place.

"Tadaima," Aiko called, shucking her shoes messily. When she received no answer the girl padded around the couch—and her posture instantly relaxed at the sight of Naruto sleeping peacefully, using a vicious nin-dog as a pillow. She bit her lower lip in thought for a moment before cautiously approaching the hound. At the gracious nod Bisuke gave her (like a queen acknowledging a subject, Hound noted in irritation) the little girl dropped to her knees and all but fell over herself to scratch behind the dog's ears and rub at his back.

Oddly, Hound was disappointed with the twin he'd thought was more perceptive. She should be more suspicious than that of a large animal wearing a vest in her home.

Well, they were just children, even if he deluded himself into thinking that there was something strangely knowing about the way she looked at his ninken before she grinned at the dog. They couldn't be expected to connect all the dots.

* * *

Aiko didn't much like taijutsu practice at the Academy when it was finally started in earnest- by which she meant supervised spars using the katas they had been taught. Iruka-sensei and his assistant Mizuki-sensei did a passable job of making sure that no one got hurt while learning to kill. There was a thrill in realizing that her body was so much better than she thought it was, that she could bend back to put her palms on the ground and then lift her feet up without doing more than shaking if she really worked at it. It was an enormous relief to start feeling less like she was trapped in a sub-par body and more like she was capable and strong. Those aspects were really enjoyable, even though her sparring partner sucked. Hyuuga Neji was a little monster, and he beat her with embarrassing ease every time they fought.

Once she managed to pull her attention away from her own problems, Aiko discovered that Naruto had his own issues with taijutsu practice. Finding out that Iruka's growing discomfort and confusion about how to relate to Naruto meant that he got less attention than he should was displeasing. To be fair to the Chuunin teachers, everything that they told the twins was correct, and they wouldn't let either of them move on in the material before it had been mastered. So it was clear that no one was trying to allow unprepared genin to graduate and get themselves killed.

It was still insidiously harmful that Naruto was almost always the last one picked, and his sessions were often cut off by the bell for the next activity. The consistently shaved times in conjunction with Naruto's less mature body (now seven years old to their peers' nine) was a formidable handicap.

 _'_ _He has plenty of time to work out the kinks in his taijutsu,'_ Aiko reminded herself as they trudged home, reaching out to take Naruto's grubby fingers into hers. He tolerated the touch absently, kicking and glaring at a rock that seemed generally inoffensive to her. ' _In the anime, he gets held back twice. The Hokage must know better than to let a ten year old graduate. In a way, he did us a favor by giving us extra time to learn.'_

Trying to look on the bright side didn't always help, but it didn't hurt to hope that not everyone was either incompetent or malicious. Still, Aiko privately thought that she would do a much better job with the really important village administration efforts if she were the one in charge. Like keeping the jinchuuriki safe and stable, for example.

She was thankful that Naruto was a social, fluttering personality. Right now it caused him hurt because their peers had either been warned off of them or didn't want to play with the babies of the class, but at least it meant that he didn't constantly cling to her. Aiko loved Naruto dearly, and would gladly bash Mizuki's head in with a brick to defend his honor if she thought she could get away with it. That didn't mean she never got tired of spending time with him. She liked being with Naruto, but it felt like she was one of those tacky pez dispensers: Naruto took a little bit out of her every time they interacted. That was fine, that was what she was there for—but eventually she was empty and in need of time away from him to refill.

It felt like she was his mother, not his sister. They had been moved out of the orphanage and into an apartment with an attentive landlady and a cook who came by once a day when they had been entered into the Academy, but the rest of the parenting was all up to Aiko to teach or Naruto to figure out on his own. She could handle a lot of it—homework, making sure he was properly fed and dressed—but there were areas in which she just couldn't help. How could she possibly teach a little boy to relate to other people? Aiko couldn't relate to adults because they condescended to her, and she couldn't relate to children her apparent age because they had nothing in common intellectually.

He was doing something right, because he'd gone and made friends with a pretty teenager whose father plied Naruto with ramen when he came to visit.

"Are you coming?"

Naruto practically hovered at the apartment door the moment it turned six—the time that Ayame-san started her shift at the ramen stand.

"Sure, sure," Aiko sighed agreeably, gathering up Naruto's homework into a backpack. Now, where had she left her library text about the cultural history of the northern regions of Fire Country…

Her otouto scowled helplessly, but took the bag she foisted on him in silent agreement to complete his assignments while his friend was preoccupied with customers. She didn't bother restraining the laugh at his morose expression.

"Cheer up," Aiko taunted, raising an eyebrow and tilting her head slightly. "It won't take that long to finish your work, and then Ayame-san will know you're as smart as you are cute."

Naruto flushed a deeply amusing shade of vibrant pink. "Nee-chan!" he squawked indignantly, hugging his bag to his tummy. "Ayame-chan is really old! And I'm not cute, so there." The little stomp he gave was startlingly unconvincing.

Unwillingly, Aiko's face twisted into a pout and her eyes softened.

Her brother flinched, knowing what that expression meant. "Aikoooo," he whined, backing up cautiously. "Don't look at me like that."

"Too late!" She leapt at him, bringing him down to the floor in a tumble of warm skin and giggles and little boy legs kicking futilely. "You're sooo cute," Aiko crooned, scrunching up her nose.

His replying, "Am not!" was cut off by the loud shriek of surprise he gave when Aiko hauled herself up enough to start planting kisses on his forehead and cheeks.

She didn't really even know what she was saying—it was just a babble of baby talk along the lines of, 'who's the cutest? You are! You are!' in-between artificially noisy "muah" sound effects as she peppered his face.

"Nee-channn," Naruto wailed when he finally gave up, legs stilling. "You're embarrassing. We're at home alone and you're still embarrassing."

"I have to get my kicks somewhere," Aiko said practically, ruffling his hair one last time. "Now get up, you look a mess and you have a hot date with Ayame-san."

He just made a high-pitched whine and stomped away, ears flushed a hot red.

* * *

The twins' fifth year in the Academy was remarkable for a few reasons. They had been taking classes with the age group Aiko recognized as the bulk of the rookie 12 for two years. Aiko found eight year olds slightly less contemptibly dull than six year olds, but not by enough to spend her free time with them.

Naruto, on the other hand, had formed a lazy sort of camaraderie with Nara Shikamaru and Inuzuka Kiba. It wasn't good for his attendance record or his grades, but it was good for his mood. They began skipping classes on a weekly basis, sneaking in before the final bell smelling of ramen or barbeque.

Aiko highly doubted that the other two were fooling the clan members that came to walk them home from classes, but she didn't much care either. She had considered trying to straighten Naruto out into a conscientious student, but had been halted by a bout of apathy. Why? What was the point? He got very little out of the structured classes. She wouldn't be surprised if he was dyslexic—he could read, but he complained that it gave him headaches and that the squiggles wouldn't stay still.

Those complaints seemed to generally be dismissed as an attempt to squirrel out of book work by Mizuki and several of the specialized teachers. Iruka-sensei had given lectures to that effect for a while until he seemed to clue in. Their primary teacher had tried, to give him credit. He had taken Naruto to a medical appointment with a medic-nin, and then to a specialized civilian sector optometrist when the first testing didn't reveal any abnormalities.

It was a pity that neither specialist could figure out what was wrong, but at least Iruka-sensei believed Naruto that something was genuinely affecting his ability to participate in classroom learning. Aiko considered speaking up—but how? It wasn't like she knew anything about how dyslexia worked, or even if that was a medical problem that modern medicine was aware of.

It was stupid to waste time mapping out complicated math problems to figure out projectile trajectory or how much blood was lost per second for different wounds. No one was going to do that math in the field. Practice and experience were what mattered. Naruto would flourish there.

 _'_ _At least Iruka-sensei warmed up to Naruto.'_

Aiko tried not to smile the first time that he showed up at their apartment with bags of takeout, clearly worried that Naruto was surviving on ramen and optimism. Iruka-sensei was mildly flabbergasted to see that the one-bedroom that the twins shared was in fact well-stocked and relatively clean.

To be fair, the fund that was provided for them to live off of was less than impressive and would have been hard to stretch enough. But there were clearly adults interested in the twins' welfare, even if they didn't want to meet them. The Hokage was certain to keep a careful eye on the state of the twins' equipment and get them new clothing at the changes of season, and two different parties left care packages.

It wasn't hard to piece together that the food that mysteriously made its way to the doorstep or kitchen table was from different people. The things that ended up on their kitchen table were always homemade and prettily wrapped, and the woman (Aiko was sure it was a woman, there was a faint trace of perfume that was _so_ familiar) that left it had a habit of doing their dishes. In contrast, every so often, a disheveled and confused jumble of odds and ends that all but screamed 'bachelor' was left on their doorstop with toothmarks on the battered basket it was delivered in.

Iruka coughed, shifting his feet in the genkan and not bothering to disguise his examination of their living space. "It's nice?" he tried.

It wasn't particularly nice. The twins all but lived in a shoebox, as far as Aiko was concerned. It was hellishly small for someone who liked to pace. But that seemed to be a trait shared by Konoha's architecture and not a snub against the twins themselves.

"Food!" Naruto shot out of the bathroom, banging into the wall as he went. He cheerfully flung himself at Iruka without care for the fact that his bare feet inadvertently kicked the bag the man was holding.

"Oof-" Iruka choked, attempting to wrap his arms around the boy, and failing because Naruto had already slipped away and shoved his head inside the plastic bag.

"You would think he never got fed," Aiko remarked blandly, unimpressed by Naruto's enthusiasm. There was no point in getting worked up about it. She had learned the hard way that there was no changing the fact that he had ten times the energy and enthusiasm that she did. Naruto didn't harm anything or mean to be rude.

"I was starting to wonder," Iruka said doubtfully as Naruto absconded to the kitchen with the meal and began pulling open drawers and flinging serving spoons and chopsticks onto the table.

Any response she might have made was cut off by sudden angry sirens. Iruka tensed and all but shot to the door, securing it with a series of handsigns that Aiko couldn't see, much less list off.

"What's going on, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto half-demanded, excitement warring with discomfort from the godawful noise. He had clapped his hands to his head at the same time Aiko did.

"Lockdown," Iruka said grimly, pacing through the apartment. "Everyone under Jounin is confined to the closest safe location. What windows do you have?" He sealed the window in their bedroom with the same handsigns, and the three had a tense dinner. The audible alerts cycled through several pitches and patterns while Iruka maintained a forced calm. The last one seemed to be some sort of all-clear, because the tenseness in Iruka's shoulders fled and he unsealed the door and windows so that the twins didn't hurt themselves by getting too close to them.

"I need to go see if I can help," Iruka explained at the door, ruffling Naruto's hair. The blond scowled at him. The teacher's eyes softened, and he bent to give Naruto a hug. "Don't worry, I'll be fine. The danger is passed. I will see you two in the morning, right?" Iruka made an awkward, aborted motion towards Aiko as if only realizing that he might hurt one child's feelings by paying more attention to the other. He stopped at her expression, and only gave a wave.

"Have a good night, sensei," Aiko said absently as she closed the door.

They were never told what had happened, per se. But the Academy was noticeably depleted in its supply of dark-haired little boys and girls the next morning. Only one of them came back. When that finally happened, Sasuke was grim-faced and a far cry from the cheerful little boy he had been a week before. He decimated his usual training partners Kiba and Hinata in every match with enough viciousness that Aiko was rather glad she'd started official taijutsu training a year before and been paired with Neji, even if he wiped the floor with her and sent her to the hospital the first time they fought.

The homemade care packages stopped coming. Aiko tried very hard not to think about what that meant, but she had dreams of silky black hair and her 'aunt' from the orphanage for weeks.

* * *

Aiko started to feel like she had less and less free time for Naruto as their sixth school year slipped by. It had been a long time since her disastrous first match with Neji and the painful, equally bad matches that followed it.

Out of sheer self-preservation and not genuine desire to improve, Aiko had begun to haunt the Academy training grounds and work on her own for hours every day. Practicing alone wasn't optimal, but it was better than nothing. (Although she _desperately_ wished that one of the other students in their cohort would undergo a sudden increase in abilities that got them reassigned as Neji's partner. Wasn't Lee supposed to be good at taijutsu?)

She was finally starting to get to a point where she could nearly compete with Neji. It might have partly been that she'd hit a growth spurt—she was almost ten to his eleven, and had a good two inches on him. That made it harder for him to keep her at distance. She had to remind herself that it wasn't an advantage she could count on—she'd be smaller than practically any other opponent out of the Academy. He was still stronger than she was, but Aiko had managed to improve both her speed and her blocks to the point where he almost never landed a hit on her.

Of course, she couldn't get a hit on him either, which led to painfully long and boring spars until Iruka-sensei inevitably called the match in Neji's favor.

 _'At least I only get bruises on my forearms and fists now'_ , she consoled herself one morning after the initial spar of the day, running her cool-down laps around the short track. It was a visible improvement on the mottled look she used to sport daily. Naruto sped by, closely followed by—was that Ino? She looked pretty pissed about something.

From his position a few feet in front of her, Sasuke stiffened, then deliberately pushed his pace so that the more enthusiastic students didn't lap him. Aiko felt her eye twitch in exasperation. "A cool-down isn't a competition, 'ttebane!" she shouted, knowing damn well he didn't hear her.

What she heard in response was a quiet huffing behind her. Aiko blinked and drifted to one side, twisting her head to see who was coming up behind her. "Oh hi, Hinata-chan." She flashed a toothy grin.

God, that kid was cute. Her classmates almost looked like people at this age instead of dolls, which made it easier to talk to them.

Hinata's porcelain pale skin flushed a little, and she drew her arms closer to her body. She didn't slow down or avert her eyes, however. "Ah, hello, Aiko-san." She visibly hesitated. "You did well in your spar today," Hinata added meekly.

"Thank you, that's very nice of you to say. I saw part of yours too. Your foot work is really good," she praised _. 'Hinata was always lacking in confidence, right_?' "Is Sakura-san a nice partner to have?"

Hinata nodded, looking more comfortable when she wasn't the topic. "Haruno-san is getting better every day. I am glad to work with her."

Aiko bit her lower lip, considering a sudden thought. "Hey, Hinata-chan? Would you like to practice with me after class today?"

It could help her a lot to be able to practice against someone with training like Neji's…

The other girl blinked rapidly, clearly surprised. "Ah..." Hinata looked down. "I'm expected at home," she mumbled.

"That's fine!" Awkwardly, Aiko tried to give her a smile. It didn't seem to do what she intended- Hinato looked embarrassed and uncomfortable, not soothed.

_'Well, I tried. Is it me she doesn't want anything to do with, or is she really just too busy?'_

She decided she didn't want to know. Her gut was telling her that Hinata would have suggested another time if she hadn't just been looking for an excuse not to spend time with her.

 _'_ _She probably doesn't want to help me against her cousin.'_

The conversation died off, but after that Aiko started to notice just how much Hinata watched her when she sparred with Neji. Now that she knew to look, it was easy to see that Hinata's attention often wandered. When it did, she pushed Sakura harder—almost as if she thought she was the one fighting Neji. Aiko didn't say anything. Naruto was her only supplementary sparring partner. At least he was enthusiastic and good-natured, if not as technically skilled as Neji.

October came and went- she and Naruto spent their birthday alone at home, despite the minor festival going on outside.

She never actually beat Neji, but she was getting to a point where the blows that landed on his forearms (he was _scary good_ at blocking) actually seemed to do something more than glance off. She could tell because his expression would tighten and he'd do his level best to beat the absolute crap out of her after she hit him. Naruto finally noticed her growth spurt, and was righteously furious that he didn't have one to match. He determinedly ate vegetables for a full week before quitting when he saw no improvement.

One Friday, she was idly rewriting the Lord of the Rings (in decidedly more pedestrian language, because she was certainly not a linguist or real author and had probably forgotten tons of stuff and made up almost as much) while pretending to take notes when Iruka announced he would be handing out the information sheets for potential graduates. When she got one, Aiko snorted and tried to hand it back. "Ano, sensei, there's been a mistake." He didn't take it.

"No, there hasn't," he said calmly. "You will be graduating this semester." He leaned in closely and gave her a stern expression. "All your teachers know you will be ready to graduate. Don't fail intentionally to stay with your brother. You're ready to move on, and he isn't. You won't do either of you any favors by flunking the year." Then he moved on to the next row, leaving her almost completely stunned.

' _They tricked me when they put me against Neji,_ ' she registered far too late. ' _They tricked me into working harder than I should to get held back without realizing it.'_

To be fair, it had never occurred to her that she would have to make sure she was held back. Sure, she was almost at the end of a standard term, but since she and Naruto had started so early, she'd really thought they would graduate with their age mates…

She looked up and it finally registered that Naruto was staring at her, as were several other students. Overall, the exchange seemed to have gone unnoticed. Instead of looking at it, Aiko shuffled the paper under her notebook and bent down again, trying to look engrossed.

It had honestly never occurred to her that she would be separated from Naruto. They entered the Academy the same year, after all. And he would graduate with his age group.. in… the… manga.

If it wouldn't have looked strange, she would have taken that opportunity to bang her head against the desk. ' _Stupid, stupid! What happens to Naruto in the manga means nothing about you!'_

Naruto gave her weak congratulations that night and fled to sleep on the couch. Aiko stayed up late, too busy thinking to fall asleep. Maybe she should take the opportunity- did she even have a choice, anyway? If she intentionally held herself back… well, she became one of Konoha's military resources when she entered the Academy, and the Hokage was her legal guardian.

So no. She didn't have a choice. If she tried to fail, she would just get reported for sabotaging military resources (a proviso usually used to force alcoholics to slow down or get sneakier).

With that in mind, she dutifully practiced the E-ranked jutsu the Academy had taught in the last month. Aside from the three she'd known about –Kawarimi, Henge, and the Clone- she'd also managed to master the finger-spark jutsu (used for burning paper evidence or lighting cigarettes) and managed to manifest one chakra string of an inch's length that could grab light objects.

She'd wondered why the manga had never shown these, but then the answer seemed obvious.

Sakura was competent but wouldn't have pushed for extra non-book work, Sasuke had better fire jutsu and used wires for that purpose, and Naruto… well, he'd barely mastered the three essentials (or a close approximation of them, anyway). Over the next week, she mercilessly drilled herself until she could replicate clothes down to the direction of a weave and switch with objects she couldn't even see.

Just as predicted, she easily breezed through the graduation exam- she led a team of first-years through a new obstacle course, dispelled a genjutsu, showed off her basic three jutsu in a low-pressure environment, and completed a three minute spar against Mizuki while Iruka took notes. When she landed a real hit, she was absolutely shocked by what a genius Neji must be. She took the opportunity to land several painful hits on Mizuki, but was eventually taken down into a panting mess. She was satisfied, though- she got extra points for thinking to use kawarimi in a mock combat session. It was a little unsporting, but 'unsportsmanlike' was practically a compliment to ninja. The kunai, shuriken, and paper tests weren't really even worth speaking about… they were embarrassingly easy.

She received her headband, one on the standard blue fabric.

Aiko found something vaguely disturbing about a ten year old in the standard military color. That night, she painstakingly scrubbed it with sand to dull the shine and pulled the stitches keeping it on the band. She cut up the bodice of a yellow dress that didn't fit anymore to make a new headband and secured it, playing with angles to find out how she wanted to wear it.

It felt strange on her forehead and she looked silly with it hanging around her neck. She liked it as a belt and a headband, so when she left the next morning she was wearing it around her waist and a jerry-rigged headband to match.

' _I feel vaguely like batman_ ,' she thought, checking herself out in the bathroom mirror. There was something strangely satisfying about her new look. She'd slipped into slim-fitting black pants that reached just below her knees and a short-sleeved tunic in the same color that reached halfway down her thighs.

She tugged at her leaf insignia. ' _This is a pretty poor utility belt, though_.' She momentarily amused herself by imaging pulling a gigantic batarang out of it… then she realized that with the use of seals that could be done. She could make her forehead protector into a small arsenal. The thought amused her. Then she took off the headband and ran her fingers through her hair, frowning at the length.

Her hair never failed to garner odd looks and some comments from her peers- despite what looked like a plausible (if a bit rare) color to her, strawberry blonde hair apparently wasn't a thing here. It wasn't very long—it only reached a few inches past her collarbones. ' _Still… I don't look like a real shinobi. I look like a little girl playing dress up._ ' That in mind, she carefully but inexpertly hacked at it with a kunai, letting hairs pile up in the sink. She cut it as short as Naruto's in the back, with bangs that fell just above her eyes, but left herself chin-length locks on either side of her face… Mostly because she didn't want to look like a boy. She turned around, experimentally tossing her hair. It looked like a very messy version of Hinata's hair at age twelve, she thought.

' _Or Minato's_ ,' she realized. Aiko frowned. ' _That might be a little bit of a faux-pas… Well. Too late now_.' She smiled at her reflection and pulled her headband back on. As she walked past her blue sandals sitting by the front door, she grimaced a little. ' _I need to get some black sandals. I'm making a mental note- tonight, after I meet my team.'_ The thought sent exciting shivers up her spine. Aiko preoccupied herself in the kitchen. She was going to have her own team, like a real ninja. By the time Naruto had stumbled into the bathroom for the morning (and yelled something incoherent and vaguely accusatory about the mess in the sink) she had breakfast and was finishing arranging two bento.

"Whoa! Your hair!" Naruto wailed, skidding into the kitchen. "It was so pretty, Aiko-chaaaaan! What'd you do that for?"

Aiko turned to give him an amused look, pouring herself some hottea. She set it down on the table and walked off to the fridge. "Pretty, yes, but it wasn't practical. I'm a ninja now and I should look like one."

"There are ninjas with long hair," he argued. "I've seen them." She shut the fridge and slid the orange juice across the table to him. He took it sullenly and grabbed for his empty glass with his other hand.

"Yeah, but they're better ninja than I am." She pulled out her seat. "Having long hair is a sign of status, kind of. It's a declaration that you're good enough as a ninja to compensate for the disadvantages of possibly obscured vision and a hand-hold for enemies in close combat. I'm a fresh genin; I'm nowhere near that good. Besides…" She touched her new spikes. "I like it like this."

"I wish you weren't leaving," he said suddenly.

Aiko frowned, feeling uncomfortable. "I'm not really leaving, you know," she pointed out. "I still live with you. I'm not going to be leaving the village for a long time. My first missions will all be in the village. While you're in school, I'm going to be doing lame stuff like weeding gardens and painting fences." She made a fence.

Naruto flailed, spilling some juice. He caught the cup before it actually tipped, and looked back up at her. "What?! Why would you do that?"

"That's what D-rank missions are like," she said, amused by his ignorance. He really was cute when he overreacted like that. "Since I'm graduating young, they're not going to want me out of the village for a long time. I'm a little jealous of you, in a way. You'll probably spend a lot less time on D-ranks than I will."

He pointed and laughed at her for a while. She huffed and stood, brushing non-existent crumbs off her shirt. "Don't be a brat, Naruto. Hey, you need to get dressed."

He gave her a vaguely superior look. "Aiko, it's Saturday. I don't have class. Have fun at school!" he snickered. She stuck her tongue out at him and jammed her feet into her sandals.

"Hey, toss me my bento. Thanks." She shut the door behind her and set off for the Academy at an easy run. At one point she had to stop and stare at a person who just had to be Maito Gai. Granted, he was wearing completely normal ninja attire, and his hair didn't seem to be slicked down, so she might not have picked him out of a crowd if he'd been walking down the street. She could tell because he was walking on his hands and balancing a cactus on his feet, tongue sticking out a little with concentration. She waved weakly, feeling a little shell-shocked. He transferred the potted plant to one foot and waved at her with the other leg. He seemed to be concentrating too much to actually speak, so she let it be and backed away slowly.

The classroom she was to wait in was nearly full, and she recognized almost no one in it. Most of the kids here were from the other classrooms. Some of them gave her strange looks, but no one called her out. Aiko took a seat at the back of the classroom (she liked having a wall to her back and waited.

Iruka came in with Mizuki at his side and a scroll. She barely listened to his spiel (something about adulthood and responsibility) and only perked up once he began to read off teams. Team by team left the room… and she suddenly realized that it didn't look like the kids in the classroom ended up as a dividend of three. Alarmed, she began to count to be sure. 3-6-9-12-…13… There were thirteen students in the room…. _Shit_ , she'd thrown off the count by graduating on time. Then there were seven students… Which turned to four, and then it was just her and Iruka-sensei was rolling up the scroll.

"Um… Sensei?" she said dumbly. Mizuki gave a quiet snicker, but didn't comment. Iruka looked vaguely sympathetic when he avoided her gaze and stuttered that her sensei should be by to get her soon, wait here please.

Then they left and she was alone… with a sinking feeling.

"Oh hell, I'm going to be waiting here a while, aren't I?"

* * *

This is the end of the material that was completely re-written. From here on out, alterations are edits, not a total overhaul. Apologies for any inconsistencies.


	4. Chapter Four

The Academy classroom had long been emptied. The lone girl inside had long ago eaten her bento and it was almost time for dinner. It was dark outside, and those goddamn crickets just wouldn't shut up. For a long, terrible moment, Aiko gave serious thought to senbon practice. But that would be ridiculous. She couldn't possibly kill all the noisy bugs in the world, could she?

' _I could try_ ,' she thought darkly.

Luckily, that was when the classroom door slid open and a man who could only be Kakashi stepped in, nonchalant as you please. She lifted her head off the desk and swiveled to look at him. Aiko's eyes narrowed. He'd made her wait far longer than the anime had indicated. Was it because he was testing her especially harshly, a simple coincidence, or just because he was less ready to deal with his dead sensei's child?

"My first impression… you're a shrimp."

"And mine is that you're an inconsiderate asshat!" she snapped. Then she slapped a hand over her mouth and flushed. ' _There goes the good impression…'_

He seemed stunned by being called 'the hat of the ass' (so it didn't translate well, whatever), but recovered in time to tell her to "Meet me up on the roof."

And then he was gone in _that damned smoke_. She coughed, waving it out of her face. Instead of heading down the hall to the staircase, she pushed the window open and cautiously swung out onto the ledge, slowly and carefully walking up the side of the building.

She'd had more than enough time to try tree-walking before, after all. It wasn't exactly kept secret, and she knew of other Academy students who had been able to perform the chakra exercise, like Hinata. She should be able to do this for three stories if she concentrated. Even at her cautious pace, she'd save about five minutes off the walk. ' _He's probably counting on some time to read before I get there,_ ' she thought with a little too much glee at the thought of thwarting him. Her foot slipped once on the crumbly brick surface, but she quickly regained her footing. Aiko curled her fingers around the metal bar at the top of the railing on the roof and kicked outward to flip over it entirely and land semi-gracefully.

_'Best part of being born in this awful place. I would be a great gymnast, if the ninja thing doesn't work out.'_

Her sensei looked up from his book, completely bored. "Maaa, took you long enough. Alright. Tell me about you." He monotoned, flipped a page, giving the impression that the question was standard and that he didn't care in the slightest.

Aiko felt an eyebrow twitch. She'd known what to expect, but he was just so rude. "Uzumaki Aiko, as you damn well know. I'm ten and I like my brother. I'd ask about you, but I bet you wouldn't answer."

He stood, ignoring her. "Well, now that we know each other, I should tell you about the genin test. It's pretty funny, actually." He chuckled darkly.

From an adult perspective, he was clearly being theatrical for some nefarious reason.

"Let me guess, one out of three or some other ridiculously high number fails, then I panic and you disappear before I can ask questions. Spooky spooky." She wiggled her fingers at him, distinctly unimpressed.

_'What kind of adult gets that much amusement out of psyching out a kid? Does he really not want to have anything to do with genin? Is he trying to get rid of me?'_

Kakashi frowned at her, wrinkling his mask. "I don't like you. Meet me at training ground seven at five am." Then she was alone on the roof.

"Well, that was a fantastic waste of my time." She paused for a long moment. "And where is training ground seven?"

That night, she and Naruto ate raw cookie dough instead of dinner and watched tv. It wasn't very good- she recognized it as some sort of monster movie, but it definitely wasn't one she was familiar with from her old world. Sometimes she thought this place was some weird splinter reality from Japan- the language was similar and shared vocabulary, and she recognized several of the legends. The technology was completely inexplicable, though. It wasn't very advanced from her perspective, but it was still strange it had developed along some similar lines.

* * *

Kakashi relaxed in his perch in a tree above the clearing in training ground seven. As five am came and went without a student in sight, he started to wish he'd spent more time at the memorial stone. His one normal eye was fixated on his book even now, when there was no one to act for. His other senses were scanning the area rigidly, however.

He'd wondered what Minato's kids were like. It had been years since he had been enough of an ANBU rookie to work protection detail in-village. Sure, he'd seen glances of them from a distance, but that didn't tell him much. Well. Okay, it did—he saw that the boy was loud and mischievous in a way that pained him –like _ObitoObitoObito_ \- though his apparent stupidity was baffling, where had **that** come from? The girl was much quieter. Someone seemed to be taking care of them, as they appeared well-fed and dressed. They were each painful to look at in their own way- the boy was like a tiny Minato clone with Kushina's exuberant personality. The girl looked like a perfect blend of her parents' coloring with what he fancied was Minato's serious mien.

The child he was thinking about meandered into his space of awareness and he lowered _Icha Icha Sexy_ to eye her. She was dressed much the same as yesterday. It was a strange combination of minimalism and that eye-gouging yellow ( _andthathaircut, it was like Minato's coincidenceornot?_ ). Today he spotted a single weapons pouch secured to her leg, which was an improvement. He'd wondered if she fancied herself good enough at taijutsu to not need any weaponry.

His leg twitched. His body was clearly eager to get back to the stone ( _taking an apprentice was a painful parallel; what would Sensei think would he laugh Kakashi-kun you have no patience_ ), but he'd wanted to see her when she thought she was unobserved to get a read on her. He wasn't sure what it meant that she wandered in six minutes late, seemingly unconcerned about disobeying her first order from a superior officer. The child didn't even look around for him.

Kakashi felt a little affronted- she shouldn't be jaded enough to assume there was no way he'd show up on time yet- and pouted from his perch while she unloaded what looked like a bento (yum, perhaps he'd borrow that) and slipped off her sandals before engaging in what looked like the strangest warm up he had ever seen. He almost considered uncovering his other eye to try to find some sort of meaning in the way she folded over with her hands on her feet, then slid them to the ground and stepped back to some sort of plank. ' _Maybe a stretch_?' The 24 year-old shifted uncomfortably. ' _No point in spending much time here_ ,' he decided, leaping away silently. ' _I can't fail her. Hokage-sama made that clear'_.

The Hokage had actually forcibly retired him from ANBU specifically for this assignment, actually. He wasn't sure if it was sentimentality or vicious practicality. He was, after all, the last living person to be familiar with both of her parents' techniques. A lot of Kushina's were unique and couldn't be performed by someone outside the bloodline. Reviving those techniques would do a lot for village morale and how they looked to enemies. Having not one but two children from the union of two of the greatest heroes of the last war—well, those kids were resources the Sandaime would have had to be crazy to waste. That wasn't her fault, of course. He was still going to punish her by making her wait.

He wasn't ready to confront living reminders of how he'd failed everyone he'd ever loved.

* * *

When the itch on the back of her neck left, Aiko breathed a sigh of relief. It was probably paranoia, but she'd felt like she was being watched. ' _Don't be stupid_ ,' she scolded herself. 'You're just excited about beginning real training.'

When her warm-up was done, she tried to kill time by running through handseals to improve her dexterity and accuracy. When her fingers began to feel sore, she performed from stretches on the ground. Then she paced for a while, wishing she had brought a book. She had a short spar with a tree, pretending it was Neji. Then she climbed the Neji-tree only using chakra in her hands and hung upside down on a branch from her knees. Her sensei didn't announce his presence so much as suddenly appear directly in front of her face.

Aiko shrieked in surprise, reflexively batting at him and swinging away to crouch on the tree trunk. She didn't hit him, of course, but he seemed mildly amused by the attempt. "Maah, what kind of greeting is that?" He pretended to look sorrowful.

"The kind you merit," she said dryly, "You creeper. Seriously, why would you pop up in my face like that?"

"I had no idea you were here," he lied easily, "I was too distracted by heavy thoughts. You see, I found a poor stray mama cat who had lost her kittens and I helped her track them all down, but now I'm thinking that perhaps I should have escorted them all the way back to their home."

There was a long moment of silence.

' _I can't believe he really says things like that'_ was warring with ' _if the cat is a stray, what home is she going to?'_

She swallowed all comments. "I see." Aiko wished she knew what to expect. Obviously, she couldn't be tested on teamwork like the original team seven would be, since she had no team per say. What else did Kakashi care about in students? Dedication and insight, perhaps.

"Today… We will be sparring until I can determine the extent of your capabilities." Kakashi eyed the sudden slump of his student's shoulders and wondered if that meant she disliked sparring or that he'd disappointed her expectations. No matter. "Come at me with intent to kill." He chuckled lowly just for effect. "Trust me, you'll need to be trying your best." He raised his visible eyebrow when she remained completely still, gazing at him impassively. "Well?"

Then she attacked. After a few moments to get his bearings and merely blocking her blows (she hit like a girl her age, but a relatively strong one) he adjusted the level he was fighting at to mid-chuunin levels so that he could easily overpower her without hurting her too badly.

He thought he had overestimated her for a second when a punch sent her reeling, but her quick recovery turned her retreat into a side-step attempt to flank him. He didn't let it work, but he noted that she seemed to have a good understanding of the fact that she had no chance of defeating him head-on. That showed some tactical thinking. She didn't look irritated that her feint failed- as if she'd never expected it to. Her taijutsu was acceptable genin levels. ' _I can work with that, at least_.'

He could see the moment she decided to switch tactics- largely because her eyes narrowed and her chakra rose up.

She created three bunshin copies of herself and then did a kawarimi with one of them in the smoke –not too bad—and then all girls simultaneously used kawarimi not once but twice (this reminded him of that game with rice under a cup, he'd always been good at the game. The trick was seeing when the rice was taken out.)

Just as he'd suspected, she had made a fourth clone at some point and they all rushed him. The girl herself was clinging to a tree and drawing out a shuriken in each hand. The instant he'd destroyed the second clone was when she released the projectiles in a line aimed at his face. He dodged with a faint smile.

_'So that's genin-level taijutsu, decent aerial weaponry skills, some tactical thinking… What about genjutsu?'_

In an instant he disappeared from her field of vision. He could sense her vitals spike in alarm and restrained a chuckle. Oh, cute. He whipped through the symbols for a standard Hell-Viewing technique and used the movement of leaves in the wind to catch her in it. She wavered on her perch on the tree—and for one second he moved forward to catch her, he should probably have waited for her to be on the ground—but she outright yelled "KAI" and shook her head, looking disgruntled. She regained her footing but he was already below her. She chose to kick off and fall directly at him, kunai in hand.

He smirked. Instead of side-stepping and letting her hit the ground, he looked up calmly and snatched her right out of the air, grabbing her under her arms then switching his grip almost immediately to her upper arms, which he twisted behind her and used to easily force her to the ground. Her chest hit the dirt with an 'Oof!' and he kept her there with a foot planted on her back. She huffed irritably and turned her face to glare at him with one eye. He smiled mildly down at her.

There was a sudden burst of weak killing intent and she began to struggle. Kakashi frowned. "Hey now, don't do that," he chided. "You could break something when I'm holding you like this. Admit when you've lost."

"Yes, sensei," she scowled. "I give up."

"That's what I was looking for." He released her and stepped back, calmly watching her regain her footing and snap to attention. "Well," he began contemplatively, tapping his chin, "It's a shame… but I'll guess you'll have to do." He watched her reaction- what kind of kid had she grown up to be? She rolled her eyes, but didn't look all that affronted. That was acceptable. He didn't want to be stuck with a brat who got their hackles up at everything.

He stepped away, then looked over his shoulder as if his next statement was an afterthought. "I suppose I should tell you to meet me at Hokage Tower at eight am tomorrow to get your first mission." He lazily raised one hand, then flickered away, eager to be away from the gir—his student. Ugh, what a terrible thought.

* * *

Aiko considered dragging herself home, feeling soreness in pretty much every muscle she had. Taijutsu with a Jounin was not fun, not fun at all. She felt tired and not exactly eager… Meeting with Kakashi had made her realize just how emotionally distant and eager to flee he was. Since she didn't have a team, she was going to be spending a lot of time alone. She'd never been the type of person who needed a ton of socialization, but she would be getting pretty lonely if she spent her days alone and only nights with Naruto.

It was barely noon and she'd been abandoned for the day. Was she meant to keep up with her same workout routine? She had hoped to get some instruction from him. He hadn't told her anything about whatever conclusions he'd come to about her level- no praise or critiques.

Since she was already there- and was finally considered mature enough to use a real training ground, that was an improvement, right? – Aiko pushed herself through the motions of a workout.

She concentrated on sprints and building leg muscle through lunges, then transitioned to working on her flexibility until the strain in her joints bordered on painful.

Her next self-designed training exercise was meant to combine agility and chakra control: She flipped counter to gravity in the tree tops in increasingly acrobatic stunts, keeping her breathing even and flinging kunai at falling leaves to pin them to tree trunks. She counted the kunai that hit trees without snagging their leaves and was relatively satisfied, but knew that she needed to continue working on accuracy with moving targets. Aiko had no plans to specialize with aerial weaponry, but she was sure that using the skill in real combat was nothing like flinging kunai at a stationary pole while standing still at a certain distance.

She ate her prepared bento once she was done under the shade of the trees, laying on her back and cloud watching. That done, Aiko meandered home, trying not to look too wistfully at the Academy age children playing in the streets. She didn't see Naruto but she did see the unmistakable signs of his passing- a series of plastic tatters from broken balloons and bright, inky stains on light colored buildings and signs.

"Hey, Uzumaki!"

She stopped, mildly surprised. "Ino-san?"

Judging by the uncharacteristic dirt on Ino's white shorts and her messy ponytail, she'd been doing something like gardening. The shorter girl put her hands on her hips, tilted them sassily, and scowled at her. "I heard you graduated, but I just couldn't believe it. You're our age! How'd you do that?"

"Well, I was enrolled four years," she pointed out.

Ino's eyes widened. "No way!" she exclaimed in disgust. "You're ten like me."

She shrugged. "We started early." Aiko shot her former classmate a weak smile. "Sorry?"

Ino waved the apology away. "Don't be ridiculous, you don't have anything to apologize for. I guess that means that you aren't necessarily good. It's more that-" She seemed to realize how rude it would be to complete the thought that 'Naruto is bad at school 'and cut herself off guiltily. "Hey, walk with me. I'm supposed to pick up from colored paper for the flower shop."

"Sounds fine," Aiko agreed easily. She glanced down at herself and grimaced. "I'm pretty gross right now from training, though."

"Do you have a super-cool sensei? What's your team like?" The blonde girl shot out, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"Actually, I don't have a team," she sighed. "It's a bit of a disappointment actually. My sensei… Hmm. Well, he's very skilled, but also very distant from what I can tell. I'm sure I will learn a lot from him, but I wish I had a team."

"I bet I know my team," Ino groused. "My dad told me once that his genin team intentionally had their kids within a few months so that they could have a second generation of their team. Creepy, right? And the boys are so weird!" She threw her hands up in disgust. "All they ever want to do is lay around and eat." She gave Aiko a dirty look. "And you- you were supposed to be my competition for top kunoichi of the year. Now you've gone and shown me up."

Aiko shrugged helplessly. Before she could say a thing, the blonde had continued. "I'm happy for you, of course, but you were really the only other girl who took this seriously. I thought Sakura had potential…"

When Ino trailed off miserably, Aiko shot her an inquisitive look. Last she'd seen, the two girls were practically attached at the hip. "Is something wrong?"

Ino flushed. "Well, yeah! I helped Sa-Forehead girl out for years, and all of a sudden she tells me she doesn't want to be my friend anymore because we like the same guy." Despite her tough act, her dejection was pretty obvious.

Aiko averted her eyes and tried to look like she was surprised. "I'm sorry to hear that. That's dumb. It was really short-sighted to put a boy before both her career and her best friend."

"That's what I thought," Ino grumbled, before she perked up. "I guess that means I'm in the market for a friend, huh? And you need one too, or you're going to go nuts with just your old person sensei for company." She flashed a mischievous grin. "Hey, wanna help me train? I bet you're going to get really strong, working one-on-one all the time. It'd only be fair to help out your Academy rival."

 _'Well, that was subtle._ ' "Sure," she laughed. "Once I know my regular schedule, we can plan out a training schedule. How's that sound?"

"I'll hold you to that," Ino nodded seriously. They stopped outside the general store.

"I'm going to leave you here." Aiko pulled at her shirt and grimaced. "I need to get home and clean up, desperately."

With a wrinkled nose, Ino agreed. "I wasn't going to say anything, but yes. You do. Later!"

Aiko felt an eye twitch coming on. ' _Does this girl need someone to be frenemies with, or is she really just that rude?'_

* * *

Monday, January 5.

Her first mission was lame. D-rank missions were utterly vile, she decided, and she had definitely gotten cheated by being a one person team. Kakashi certainly wasn't helping. Actually… She looked around. He wasn't even in sight. Aiko huffed, blowing a longer piece of hair out of her face because her hands were filthy from carrying chemicals around.

' _Boy am I glad I had that Academy lecture on safely handling dangerous materials_ ,' she snarked internally. This mission was just manual labor- it would have been given to civilian teams if the junk she was carrying out of a home that was about to be demolished wasn't unsafe. It needed to be disposed of in several different places, depending on substance. She'd found meticulously labeled reagents ranging from super-expired cleaners, herbal materials, bottles of human blood (disgusting!) and homemade poisons. Whoever owned the home had been some sort of specialist with a higher budget than she'd be able to even hope for for years.

With obvious exceptions that she knew better than to touch, some of the more benign items were interesting to the really terrible, naughty, Naruto-ish part of her mind. Since no one was around to care, Aiko snagged a few interesting materials that she had read about but not had access to before, as well as some empty glass vials. It couldn't hurt to practice, right? She could rush to the library to copy down the recipe she wanted after she was free for the day.

After she had finally finished working, Aiko mixed together her dreamed-up concoction (using gloves and a mask) and carefully poured them into three glass bottles that she stoppered and held up to the light. The end result was a pretty blue color… and she immediately tested it in training ground seven by tossing it at a tree a decent distance away (she didn't want to breathe it in). Somewhat strangely, the glass didn't shatter on impact. Instead, it cracked and bounced off into the bushes.

Aiko cursed quietly, wondering if it was safe to approach. She didn't know if it had gone off or not. That is, she didn't know until a horrid yowl split the air and she jumped, first in fright and then to a higher position to see what had happened.

Her concoction did actually seem to form a respectable amount of smoke (who says Naruto was the only one with a mind for chemicals, ha!). It was what she saw when the smoke faded that worried her.

"Oh, shit." She broke off a stick and gently poked at the prone animal she'd found, hoping for good news but already knowing what had happened. "I killed a cat." The thing looked like it had died horribly- it was in a strange pose as if it had convulsed, and blood was leaking from the nose and mouth. Good thing she hadn't breathed in the smoke herself. Aiko bit at her lip. "I'm sorry little guy. You were probably just minding your own business, hanging out in the wild. Maybe you're Kakashi's stray cat. Oh kami, I killed Kakashi's cat. He's going to kill me, 'ttebane! And Naruto! What would Naruto think if he knew I killed a helpless little kitty cat?!"

The corpse seemed to be staring at her accusingly through eyes that were quickly glazing over.

She quietly hyperventilated for a few long moments, trying to repress the panic. When that didn't work, she forced it away by pacing and trying to think. "Okay, just stop. I… I need to destroy the evidence. Cremation is respectful, right?"

It turned out that in her adrenaline-fueled haze, even the silly sparking jutsu could get a decent fire going. She coughed, trying to wave the foul-smelling smoke away from her face. "That's foul." She began to cry. _'I'm a terrible human being. I killed a kitty cat—I'm a terrible ninja! My first casualty was a kitty_.'

Somehow her brain had time to conjure up the image of her rotting in jail, explaining to other inmates that she was in for cat murder. That definitely wasn't a respectable ninja action.

_'I really hope that isn't Kakashi's cat... If it is, I orphaned a litter of kittens.'_

She did her level best not to cry at the thought. Her eyes darted around, looking for other evidence. There were scorch marks on the ground… _'Well, accidentally starting a forest fire would be the exact opposite of subtle.'_ Terrible human being or not, she wanted Naruto to find out about this absolutely never. That meant no one could know. With that in mind, Aiko ran the hundred meters to the river and gathered up a huge glob of chakra-soaked water in her hands, stumbling back to the scene of the crime post-haste. She splashed it on the area, making sure to leave no trace embers. It was still obvious that something had happened there…

 _'But would that matter_?' She took a long look around the training field. The earth was gouged with holes, some of which were full of water. The trees were scarred from kunai and other weapons, shards of rocks scattered the grounds, and more than one tree looked decidedly crispy. Her little patch of scorched ground didn't look that suspicious, really.

She gathered the two unused bottles and disposed of them quietly on her way home. If her eyes were a bit haunted, Naruto certainly didn't notice that night when he slurped down his oden.

 _'No one will ever know_.'

Thankfully, her next missions were less eventful. After that mess, grocery shopping, raking leaves, and babysitting seemed like a much better use of her time.

* * *

Friday, January 9.

"I can't understand it," the Sandaime Hokage groused to his civilian secretary who looked more than a bit sympathetic. "I've had three experienced genin teams fail to find the Fire Lady's cat. This is just ridiculous." He finished signing the papers with a flourish and handed them off. He added in an undertone, "If she comes by again to ask me about her precious baby, I'm not in. You hear me?"


	5. Chapter Five

"Good news, minion. You get your first C-class mission."

An orange wobbled dangerously and then escaped the brown paper bag she was carrying. Before she had time to even yelp, her teacher had caught it with one hand and gently placed it back on top. "Are you serious?" Aiko tried to keep both the incredulousness and the hope out of her voice. Almost two months of mind-numbing manual labor had all but beat the hope for better missions out of her. Her teacher gave a deep chuckle as a warm hand came down on top of her hair and messed it up. She turned her head slightly to glower, not willing to give him the reaction he wanted. "What's that supposed to do, my hair is already a mess," she deadpanned.

"So uncute," he sighed. His hand left her head to turn a page. "We have a mission scheduled for two days from now."  
He didn't seem to be joking. "Why would we know about it so far in advance?" she asked, curious.

"Oh, I need to whip you into shape first."

'Why does his voice have to sound so damn good saying such awful things?' Aiko felt herself deflate. "Mean sensei. I'm not fat."

"Never said you were," he said easily. "But I need to be sure you have the stealth to sneak past sleeping civilians."

"Ouch," she groused, feigning pain in her heart. "That hurts me right here, sensei." She rearranged her grip on the bags she was holding. "Could you knock for me? Thank you." When the door opened, the tired woman standing there looked ridiculously grateful. As soon as her hands were free, Aiko rubbed at her aching arm muscles while the client rustled in her purse for a tip. Without even looking up, the civilian woman stuck out a leg in a ninja-worthy move that stopped the toddler behind her from escaping into the street. "Thank you ma'am, have a nice day!" She bowed politely, eyeing the pig-tailed vermin that was struggling futilely towards the open door.

As soon as the door shut, Kakashi sardonically commented, "If only my student was that cute. How did I get stuck with such a serious brat?"

"Yeah, whatever old man. Maybe if you were as pretty as she was, I'd wear pigtails," Aiko shot back. "We both got the short end of the stick." She didn't really believe that, but she'd hate to compliment him before he really taught her anything.

"I'm not old," he said, sounding honestly perplexed. She didn't buy it for a moment.

________________________________________

Stealth training turned out to be just another excuse for Kakashi-sensei to be a giant dick, Aiko concluded the next morning when she showed up for training. "This is all just a joke to you, isn't it," she said flatly, handling the 'supplies' as if they were poisonous. The paper, ink, and perfume very well could have been, but they weren't this time. She would have preferred poison.

He hmmed. "Not at all, Aiko-chan. I think that this will gage your skill quite nicely. If you can sneak past your age counterparts in the Academy, you can almost certainly sneak past civilians."

"But this?" she said miserably, staring at the pink paper.

"Think of it as incentive. You'll be extra careful not to get caught leaving embarrassing love notes, won't you?"

"You're a sick bastard."

"What was that?" He perked his head. "You want to leave one for Hyuuga Neji? And his cousin Hinata too, how daring. I'm sure Hiashi won't mind at all if you break into his home to double-time his heir with his nephew." A single leaf blew past them on the street. For a hysterical moment, Aiko thought that it should have been tumbleweed instead. She swallowed, feeling herself begin to sweat just a little bit. There was no way she could sneak around the Hyuuga estate. And Hinata's dad… Well, he might literally kill her and blame it on the Inuzuka or something.

"Your hair looks great today, sensei. Did I mention that earlier? And wow, have you lost weight?"

"Very funny. Get to work writing your great romance, hime. I'll be checking them."

They didn't meet again until well after sunset at 11:30. Once he was finally satisfied with both the wording and scent ("You 'admire' this person? How unoriginal. Wouldn't you say that he lights your heart on fire, or that you drown in the ocean of his eyes every time you look into them? No, the fact that his eyes are brown is irrelevant." and "You're lucky I'm not making you use your own perfume, even a thick Academy student might figure that out"). He had her break into the Academy to copy some student records. In the first remotely considerate move he had made that night, Kakashi let Aiko choose her targets instead of picking them for her. She didn't spend too long trying to figure out A. Who she thought she could sneak past and B. who wouldn't embarrass her if she were to be caught. As they ran to the first house, he mused "Do you think they'll be flattered or frightened to wake up to a love note on their pillows?"

'and why do they have to be left directly on pillows, instead of just beside the bed?' The girl knew better than to say things like that aloud. Her sensei would only think of some new and exciting restriction- like the note had to be taped to the recipient's face, or she could only hop on her left foot or something.

"No matter what happens, I'm hoping that they're not flattered enough to try and figure it out," Aiko muttered. It wasn't entirely impossible that one of them could track her down. 'I only wish I could see Ami's face when she realizes someone stood next to her bed while she slept. Maybe she'll straighten up after a shock to the system like that.' She was the first target. The girl had never bothered Aiko herself, but that was more because Aiko didn't exude weakness than because Ami was kind.

All five note drops went off without a hitch, thankfully. Aiko even took a single strand of hair from each recipient/victim for incontrovertible proof. Kakashi must have a nose like a dog, because he sniffed each one to verify (and why was he familiar with the smells of academy children?). She finally finished at what must have been two a.m.

Her teacher seemed to want to be responsible for once, walking her all the way home. "So, what have you learned?"

"My former classmates need better security," she said flatly.

"And?"

"And that I do have the necessary skills to sneak past an average civilian."

"Hmm. Exactly." He yawned, clearly disinterested in her. "Here's a life lesson for you—improve your traps so you aren't an easy target like that."

"Thanks for saying goodbye," she muttered to the space where he had been until an instant ago. Aiko sighed, rubbing under her tired eyes with one hand while she jiggled her key in the door. She fell in bed fully dressed, feeling pathetically grateful that tomorrow wasn't one of her early mornings where she met with Ino for a workout.

She woke up with a note taped to her forehead. It was unsigned, but it said, "Improve your traps."

They left for their first C-class mission as a team in the evening. Aiko had debated over what to bring for a while, but ended up only filling her leg holster and attaching the weird hip/lower back pouch that was standard equipment for other travel supplies. Her sensei raised a sardonic eye at her when they met at the gate. "What, no tent or sleeping roll?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's too warm for it to be worth carrying. We're only going to be gone one night, and I'm wearing long sleeves."

He chuckled. "Practical."

Their mission was one by request of the Fire Daimyo himself. Apparently he was trying to cheer up his wife, who had recently suffered a death in the family. Aiko was torn- on one hand, it seemed sweet to make a grand gesture of affection. On the other hand, said gesture was stealing a jewelry set from a noblewoman who had snubbed the Lady in court.  
'Rich people are fucking weird,' she eventually decided.

Still, if it paid the bills, it wasn't her job to complain about little things like morality. The dossier had claimed that the jewels had been stolen, (as if it was important to improve how bad the request looked to paid assassins, she'd scoffed) but Aiko didn't believe that for a red-hot minute.

"I'll be following to insure your safety," Kakashi said quietly from his position behind her. She peered at the courtyard walls from her location in the shadows. "But this is your operation. You know your route?"

"Yes," she replied, just as quietly. Then she switched to handsigns. Aiko rather imagined she could feel him stiffen in surprise- he hadn't taught those to her. She repressed a smirk- she'd asked Iruka sensei to teach her. He had been too busy, but she'd gotten tutored in it by the woman who had helped her with court-style calligraphy (she had had a lot of time back in the Academy to spend in specialization classes, since she had spent two years sitting out of taijutsu practice).

I take left path. Go now?

He signed back, Go.

She darted across the grounds, setting on palm on the wall and then flipping up and over into the inner courtyard. Her landing in an iris garden was quiet-luckily she tapped down onto the stone pathway and not in the plants themselves. In the instant of stillness, she observed the courtyard- a luxurious koi pond crossed with a bridge and dotted with large rocks under a tree peony, surrounded by moss and light-colored rocks, and a smoothly manicured lawn dotted with tiny shrines.  
Aiko was hidden within the shadows of the pagoda roof before a civilian could have seen her. In the space between heartbeats her sensei was beside her, looking feline and dangerous instead of vaguely sleepy as he usually did. Silently she tapped across the tiles, making her way to the window she had noted on the floor plan. She slipped into the second floor guest bedroom easily and leapt onto the ceiling to speed into the target's suite. It was even darker inside, so she took a long moment to let her vision adjust.

The layout wasn't complicated, but she was still thankful she had been able to see a rough floor plan before entering. Her entry point had only been two hallways away from where she almost certainly needed to be. The mission report had described the court lady they were stealing from as someone who would likely keep her jewels close- she didn't trust her staff.

The target, a slim woman of about thirty with long black hair, was sleeping peacefully in the bedroom… and so were the two other women in the bed with her. Aiko felt red heat spread over her ears and neck. She tried to suppress the impression that Kakashi was silently cackling at her. That was rather a lot of flesh showing, even with the blue silk sheets draped over (most of) them. Only a few feet from the heavy breathing of her target, she pawed through drawers, being certain to put everything exactly where it had been and touch as little as possible. She was wearing gloves, but it would be best not to leave her scent if she could help it. Good habits and all that.

'That's it!' Aiko wrapped the necklace, bracelet and earring set in the thin towel she'd prepared and tucked it into her pouch. It was actually rather pretty- black stones set in delicate silver filigree. Getting out was just as easy as getting in had been. At one point she stopped entirely on her ceiling perch and held her breath while a petite girl walked by clutching what looked like a pitcher of water.

She didn't speak until they were a good ten miles away, speeding back towards Konoha. The adrenaline rush left her, and Aiko felt weary. That was strange- the active part of the mission had only taken about an hour from start to escape. Maybe it was just nerves?

"That went well," her teacher commented. She was disoriented enough by her first real mission to smile up at him. "Maybe you'll be ready for real missions soon."

"I thought this was a real mission."

He gave her a mildly disbelieving look. "Stealing from sleeping civilians without so much as a hired thug bodyguard?"  
Aiko shrugged. "Better than walking dogs."

His lone eye narrowed in a way that indicated he was thinking. She tried not to shiver, and hoped she hadn't given him any more ideas for cruel and unusual training.

________________________________________

"I can't believe you had a real mission!" Naruto bounced around the kitchen, almost too excited to do what she told him. It took a glare to remind him that he was meant to be dicing vegetables. She quickly finished using the other cutting board to thinly slice the beef, and then set it in a sizzling pan.

"Nah," she demurred, turning to wash her hands thoroughly. "It wasn't so great. How was class today?" Her brother pouted, casting a dirty look at the small pile of books on the couch.

"Ne, it was terrible!" Aiko kept one ear open to her brother's complaints- something about Ino and glue? – while she worked on the rest of dinner. She gently lifted the lid off the rice pot and checked to be sure it had been soaking long enough before she turned the heat on. Aiko frowned slightly. "Wait, I'm confused. Where did Hinata even get live kunai?" The beef was starting to smell fragrant, so she agitated the pan and turned the meat over.

She could practically hear Naruto's shrug in his answer. "I don't know, but it was the best thing ever!" He fell silent for a second. "Hey, Aiko? Do you remember Sakura-chan?"

"Of course," she said easily. "What about her?" Inwardly, she tried not to wince. 'Please don't be that crush already…'  
Of course that was too much to hope for.

"She's really pretty," Naruto said dreamily, propping his chin up on his hands. "Sakura-chan always smells nice and she's so smart at school and have you ever seen pink hair before on anyone else? She's amazing."

Aiko didn't bother to hide her wince. There was no point, Naruto didn't pay attention to cues like that anyway. "No, her hair is unique," was the most diplomatic answer she could choke out. "But Naruto-kun… She isn't very nice, you know."

"She is so," Naruto muttered. Then he brightened up. "Maybe I can impress her with my ninja skills! She's always looking at Sasuke like he' so cool. When I beat him, she'll like me instead!"

Aiko bopped him on the head with a clean wooden spoon. "That's not the way affection works," she scolded. Then a thought occurred. 'I could use this to motivate him…'

Slyly, the slightly older twin acted as if she'd just remembered something. "Sakura does really well in academics, right? You'd have to do well there to impress her, as well as taijutsu. She's the kind of girl who respects strength and…" Aiko grimaced. 'That isn't true, strictly speaking. Strength is more a by-product of what Haruno finds attractive.' "Well, she actually likes people who she thinks are cool. People who are self-assured, good looking, and stuff like that. She isn't going to like anyone who can't keep up with her."

Naruto slumped over the table. "So mean, nee-chan." He cracked one eye open to peer miserably up at her. "It's not my fault I'm not good at school work!"

"Not exactly, no." Aiko gave him a one-handed squeeze. "You have a lot of energy and a short attention span, which makes school work difficult. But you could be working a lot harder than you do. You know perfectly well that skipping class and planning pranks when Iruka is talking is going to hurt your scores, but you do it anyways. If you want to impress Sakura, start there."

"I guess," Naruto said unhappily. He retrieved his history textbook and looked at it as if it was about to bite him. Aiko nudged him gently with a shoulder. "What's the assignment?"

"The class is supposed to read chapter 7," he dully informed.

Aiko frowned at the strange wording. "The class is?"

"Yeah, I haven't finished chapter 2 yet. I don't understand any of it," he whined. Aiko sighed. "Give it here." She flipped it open. "We can read together and talk about it as we go. You remember conversation much better than things you've read."  
Naruto's decision to impress Sakura with his intellect didn't exactly work. For one thing, he'd been at the bottom of rankings for long enough that it would be impossible for him to make it to the top of the class. For another, he didn't really have the aptitude for that kind of study anyways. He wasn't as diligent as he'd intended to be when he started studying for real, but with frequent reminders to study (and of why he was studying, however painful Aiko found the idea herself) helped to keep him afloat. The sudden improvement had probably terrified poor Iruka, Aiko realized one day. He would be just waiting for the massive prank that an apparent switch in personality was leading up to. It might have been kinder to put tacks on his chair so he stopped thinking that Naruto was trying to lull him into letting his guard down.

Her brother had actually put a temporary halt to pranks on his sensei, under the rationale that there were people who deserved to be pranked much more and that it would be a waste of his incredible skills to focus on one person. By this time, three months had passed since Aiko became a genin. Kakashi had yet to teach her a single jutsu, she had been on exactly one C-class mission, and he hadn't done much to improve her other base skills either. She found that her routine was much the same as it ever had been. He sure had a strange way of teaching. He'd given her a few pointers on water-walking after she had finished tree climbing, and could be counted on to give her at least one taijutsu spar daily. Unfortunately, it was usually more like a 'beat-down' than a spar, but he gave pointers and she worked on her free time to incorporate his suggestions.

She had been right with her original assessment: being without a team was lonely, and since Kakashi didn't seem to want anything to do with her, he didn't make up for the absence. Aiko continued to do what she knew how to do—she improved her aim, chakra control, ran a lot, attempted to build some muscle mass, and played around with wire and chakra strings. Her improvement since the academy was notable. In a way, Kakashi's laid back teaching style might have been working for her. If she'd just gotten powerful jutsu, she might not have spent as much time improving her base shinobi skillset. Every shinobi needed to be at least competent in those areas beyond genin level- Namikaze Minato had made speed an incredible weapon, legends like Kakashi and Itachi used basic tools like kunai, and ninja like Lee managed to be formidable without a single jutsu.  
In other words, she could be a freaking legend even if she never learned another jutsu, but she'd get herself killed in thirty seconds flat into real combat if she couldn't move quickly enough to dodge.

She tried to keep that in mind when a snickering Chuunin handed her a mission scroll detailing her new D-class mission gathering herbs from the forest immediately surrounding Konoha. 'Kakashi-sensei knows what he's doing,' Aiko gritted through her teeth while she murderously popped the heads off of the purple flowers she was collecting.

________________________________________  
"I have no fucking idea what I'm doing," Hatake Kakashi chuckled to a former ANBU colleague one night after yet another day of lazing around reading while his short pers- student, he definitely meant student- completed easy missions. Really it wasn't so bad. It was like a vacation, only with a midget and no hotel sex. Kakashi frowned at the thought, suddenly unhappy with this 'teaching' gig again. Across the table, Tenzou tried not to look too aghast at the thought of his sempai with a small child. Kakashi-sempai was his hero, really he was! His sempai was incredibly strong, he was the most intelligent man that Tenzou knew, he was an excellent commanding officer, and he always smelled so damn manly. But…

"Training a fresh genin is probably not much like training ANBU," Tenzou ventured as a guess. He didn't exactly have much experience with kids. Like Kakashi, he had been drafted directly into the program at such a young age that he'd never known anything different, and certainly hadn't had peers.

Kakashi shrugged easily, swiping his cute little kohai's last stick of yakitori and jamming it into his mouth so quickly that the kid didn't even notice his mask had come down. "How different can it be? We're all adults here."

Tenzou valiantly resisted the face-palm, but he just didn't have the willpower. By the time he managed to look up, his sempai was gone and a receipt was slowly falling to the table. "What the…" Tentatively, he reached out and snagged it. Then his face turned indignant. 'I don't want to pay for his meal! Besides, who drinks at this hour anyway?!'

Chapter Word Total : 3,648  
Cumulative Word Total : 30,165


	6. Chapter Six

Naruto idly tapped on his desk (the one directly in front of where Iruka lectured, which would theoretically make it easier for the Chuunin to catch him misbehaving), wishing the period would just finish already. He had clawed his way out of the bottom academic ranking, but he would still much rather be working on his aim. Lately he had been spending almost all of his physical development time on throwing skills, after he'd noted that Mizuki-sensei was a goddamn prick and never pointed out his mistakes. He never seemed especially approving either- he'd give Naruto's poor katas the same nod he gave Sakura's technical perfection. He wasn't addressing either of their issues.

Naruto knew from watching his pretty (incredibly, mind-bogglingly, world-changingly pretty) classmate that her stamina was very poor and that she was lacking in muscle mass (even for the admittedly low standards for ten year old girls). Likewise, he knew that he tended to overreach and start his kata too quickly which ended up forcing him faster and faster. Speed was great, but he wanted to go at a speed he wasn't ready for and that ended up making his steps sloppy.

He probably wouldn't know the difference if Aiko hadn't pointed out his issues in the same casual way she told him it was his turn to take out the garbage. It wasn't good or bad, it was just being brought to his attention so that he could do something about it.

Ino (He took a moment to glare at the back of her head, long blonde hair swaying gently in the breeze from open windows) had been less diplomatic about his level. He was going to fight her one day too. Aiko was spending what seemed like every other morning working out with Ino. He'd been invited, of course, but… he had other things to do. Like find out where Mizuki-sensei lived and smear the juice from a can of tuna fish under the table. (No matter how hard Mizuki-bastard scrubbed, his kitchen was going to gradually get stinkier and stinkier.) Naruto tried not to cackle overmuch in class. That had been yesterday- the Chuunin had probably only recently noticed the smell and was trying to find the source. Comedic gold, if only he could witness the frustration himself. An eraser suddenly appeared in him immediate vision and he jerked to the left to avoid it. 'Eh heh heh… Iruka-sensei looks kinda mad.'

"Stop cackling, Uzumaki. It's disruptive and just plain weird." With a mid-level stern glare (Naruto had made a mental chart, categorizing the severity of Iruka Glares) the Chuunin that didn't totally suck (Bite me, Mizuki-bastard!) went back to droning on about why you actually shouldn't aim for the jugular in a certain type of situation. It had something to do with bloodspray and tracking by scent?

For the next four minutes, Naruto was a model student. Then he was tired of that. Sasuke, that goddamn prick, was dutifully focused on the lecture. He never took notes, but he was always right when the teachers called on him. They called on him a lot- whenever Naruto or Kiba couldn't answer a question, Iruka would look to Mr. Perfect Hair. Smug bastard. Naruto broke a pencil in his fist, totally oblivious to the way that Shino gave him a mildly alarmed stare and inched away, beetles hiding deeper under his seasonally inappropriate coat.

Naruto shifted guiltily. It sucked to compare his academic performance to others. It was just so hard. 'Maybe if I worked like Aiko, I'd already be graduated.' The thought made him feel bad about himself, so he tried not to think it often. It was hard to not to make the comparison, though. She was his twin and they'd entered the academy the same year- should they be more alike?

It wasn't that Naruto didn't work at his ninja skills- far from it! He worked at it daily. But he just couldn't only be a ninja like Aiko. She didn't have any hobbies or downtime, and her workouts with Ino were probably the closest thing she had to a friendship. If she'd been someone else… well, he might have thought that she was cripplingly weird and too serious. She kinda acted like an old lady, (except for all the cursing, of course.)

That afternoon he rushed home, pinching the torn seam of his favorite black t shirt shut. (He was totally going to beat the shit out of Kiba next time they sparred, believe it!). 'I beat Aiko home,' he noticed dumbly when he shucked off his shoes. 'That almost never happens.' Aside from her one overnight mission, his sister was almost always home when he walked in the door. She generally went out to train again after the worst of the heat passed, but only after they had dinner. He felt like being helpful, so he started some tea before he tugged off his shirt and went in search of the little sewing kit Aiko had been forced to buy for her kunoichi class.

Naruto really didn't understand how she could be so incredibly bad at repairing her clothes, especially since she'd had to take a class on it. The things that girl could do with a seam just didn't bear thinking about, so Naruto generally clenched his teeth and did her mending in addition to his own.

"Oy, that tea fresh?"

"Yeah, but you don't get any because you're a cotton-headed ninnymuggins," he called back casually, fighting down the corners of his mouth. He heard his sister snicker from the other room- that one always made her laugh for some reason. Naruto wasn't entirely sure why. She'd taught him lots of bad words to call people and most of them didn't make her laugh at all.

Aiko wandered in from the kitchen (he hadn't even noticed her cross the room, when had she gotten so sneaky?) holding a cup of tea. "You look like doo," he casually commented, keeping one eye on his stitches and one eye on the way her right eye twitched. "I'm not sure what kind. Unimaginative bet is on dog doo, but I'm leaning towards sheep."

"Thanks, little brother. You always know just what to say." She flopped down onto the couch in a way that probably should have spilled hot liquid all over her. He'd been joking, but he hadn't really been lying. She must have come directly from her workout, because her bangs were still plastered to her forehead with sweat and he could see a line of bruises on the backs of her forearms- from blocking blows in a spar with a stronger opponent, probably?

He imagined that if he stared long enough, he would be able to watch him fade. Both of the twins healed quickly, but he never seemed to see it happen. It was almost as if bruises waited for him to lose interest before they scuttled off.  
"What are you thinking about?" Her uncanny blue-green eyes were directed at him. Naruto loved his sister's eyes. They looked like what he imagined the ocean was.

"Crabs," Naruto said firmly. "Would you describe the way they move as a scuttle?" He waved his hands to demonstrate, light glinting off the needle in his fist.

"I've never met a crab," she said dryly. "When I do, I'll tell you all about it." Aiko kicked her feet up to rest on the arms of the couch, stretching one arm out precariously to set her tea cup down with a clink onto the side table. "Brother mine, love of my life, most clever and ki-"

"You're so full of shit it's coming out your ears," Naruto interrupted blandly, too focused on his mending to muster up an emotional response. "What is it you want mended?"

"I'll go get them." Aiko easily rolled off the couch and landed on just one foot, sliding into a walk without a moment's awkwardness. Naruto silently cursed his sister's coordination while she padded away to rustle around in the bedroom (they shared) and came back with what appeared to be a pair of her leggings. She tossed it at him, and he barely pulled them out of the air before they landed on his hair. "Please and thank you. "

"What's for dinner?" he called. He could practically sense his sister roll her eyes from the kitchen. She was clearly getting things ready- the icebox opened and closed, as did drawers and he could hear rustles. Then there was a knock on the door. Naruto blinked and then his sister was crouched beside him, frowning slightly.

"You expecting anyone?" she asked in an undertone. He shook his head, setting the needle aside and sliding a kunai out of his holster. Aiko gave him an approving quirk of the lips, moving to the door so quickly that she was just a blur of color. The tenseness in her shoulders fled as soon as she cracked the door and breathed deeply. "Um, hello sensei. Would you like to come in and have some tea?"

A tall man stepped through the door. 'He's weird looking,' Naruto marveled, putting his kunai away and picking his mending back up again. This was his first glimpse of Aiko's sensei. He was slouched over like Shikamaru, dressed like a Jounin, and had hair like he'd stuck a finger in a light socket. When the tall guy turned to pass one eye lazily over Naruto, the boy stiffened. The dark blue mask over his jaw moved slightly, but Naruto couldn't tell what expression was being made. "Maaa, Aiko," the old guy rumbled. "No tea, thank you. I came to tell you to get ready. We have a last minute mission."

"Duration?" Aiko asked briskly, draining her tea cup and starting towards the bedroom.

The old guy 'hmmmed'. "Oh, hard to say. We're tracking a Chuunin level missing nin. Should be an easy introduction into the craft. I'd pack light. We're going to be doing a lot of running."

"Is this why you've been pushing my speed so much?" Aiko called from the bedroom, sounding calm despite the sounds of frantic packing.

"Exactly." One dark eye drifted over to examine Naruto as if it could x-ray down to the thoughts in his head. Naruto scowled, crossing his arms and giving the intruder a stink-eye. 'Who does he think he is, budging in here and dragging Aiko away when she just got home?'.

His sister bounded back into the room, wearing twice the weapons she had been before and toting a navy blue knapsack. She nearly barreled Naruto over when she gave him a hug, grinning fiercely and poking his nose. "Eat your junk food tonight, but be sure to cook real food tomorrow, okay? Be good, stay safe, and don't prank Mizuki 'til I get back."

Naruto harrumphed, dutifully leaning back into the hug with his chin resting on her shoulder (and ugh, he was going to be taller than her one day soon, believe it!) and rolling his eyes. "Yes, mother," he drawled, pleased by the attention but too grown-up to tolerate it in front of a stranger. The old guy seemed to flinch, his one visible eye flickering to Aiko's bizarrely colorful hair. Naruto startled and gave the old guy a distrustful stare. He didn't like leaving his sister with a stranger, especially not one this weird.

Unfortunately, no one asked his very excellent opinion and the two ninja sped out of the apartment building, leaving him alone and bored.

________________________________________

Even with all the stamina and speed training she had done since graduation, Aiko had to grit her teeth to cope with the pain in her feet and weakness in her legs after a few hours of running without stop. Kakashi-sensei had been very certain that she had a lot of potential for speed, and it was one of the few things he actually trained her in. He'd been right, but the pace they needed to keep in order to gain ground on a ninja of a higher rank like a Chuunin was wearing on her quickly. Her hip, knee, and ankle joints were all screaming with pain by the time he allowed her to have a break, crouching to speak quietly with the brown, scruffy looking dog he'd summoned. In a moment, he dismissed the dog they'd been following and whipped through hand seals and summoned- is that a pug?

Aiko ignored the ninken that she was pretty sure would answer to 'Pakkun' and drained half a bottle of water, then gulping down a quick dissolve pill that should restore some of the salt she'd lost through sweat and reduce the amino acid burn from the run. She flopped to the forest floor and bent into a straight-legged stretch, trying to calm her heartrate and breathing through sheer force of will.

"Who is this?"

Aiko looked up at the surprisingly deep voice, somehow not surprised to see that the pug had invaded her personal space. When her teacher didn't speak up, she managed to catch her breath enough to briefly introduce herself. "Uzumaki Aiko, happy to meet you."

"Pakkun," the pug said simply. He snuffled at her side, causing her to yelp when she felt his cold nose through her thin shirt. "So this is-"

"My student," Kakashi interrupted smoothly. The dog gave him a look that indicated the two would be having a talk later, but let it slide. He pointedly nudged her tummy with his square head, and Aiko reflexively scratched behind his ears and stroked down his back. His fur was so sort- it was more like petting a bunny than a comparatively coarse dog. The girl couldn't help but smile. It was the first time she'd really met a dog in this lifetime, but the doggy scent he gave off was comforting and very familiar. Maybe she'd been a dog person in her past life.

'Did Pakkun know Kushina and Minato well enough to notice a connection with my scent?' Aiko pursed her lips. It looked that way, which would also explain her teacher's uncharacteristic interruption. He was often rude, yes, but generally through inaction like his failure to introduce the two parties than by actively doing something rude.

"Pakkun, we're on the clock," Kakashi drawled. "Make friends later."

"No respect," the small dog grumbled, reluctantly leaning out of her reach and sniffing around the area. "Yeah, I have the scent. We're damn close. Your prey is weak and slowing down, so we should be able to catch up within the hour at most. Why are you taking your pup on a hunt, boy?"

Aiko almost choked, eyes wider than what she could pretend was dignified. 'I don't think Pakkun talked to Kakashi like that in the manga,' she thought weakly. The idea of her strict teacher being referred to as 'boy'…. It didn't bear thinking about. Said teacher looked more amused than anything.

"Maa, Pakkun, I'm starting to think you don't trust my judgment. I wouldn't have brought the pup if I couldn't keep her safe. This should be an easy introduction to real missions, even if she is still out of shape despite months of my best work," he casually insulted. Aiko felt that eye twitch start up again. She willed the muscle spasm to stop. "Alright, break is over. Let's go." With a sigh, Aiko gave one last stretch and climbed to her feet. As the small group started running again, her teacher let the pug take point and slowed down to run beside her. "You know," he said quietly, "You're going to see your first kill. We don't bring missing nin back alive, but we can't allow them to go and make Konoha look weak either."

Momentarily stunned, Aiko struggled to find her footing on the next landing. Her teacher didn't comment, but she didn't fool herself into thinking he hadn't noticed. "I see," she managed. "I… I suppose that makes sense." It did make a terrible kind of sense. Kakashi was famous as both a ninjutsu specialist and a tracker, and he had spent roughly a decade in ANBU. Of course he got a lot of hunting missions.

"You're a good kid," he said quietly. "I just want you to remember why we're doing this. You got stuck with me for a teacher, so you unfortunately are going to pick up my specialties, like retrieval. This is just a run to gain experience for you. You're going to hang back, and if I assess that the situation is going poorly you will obey my orders immediately. Is that understood?"

"Yes sir," she automatically replied.

His attention slid up front and he leapt ahead at the exact moment Pakkun gave a rough bark. A moment later (it might have been a quarter of a second or up to three whole seconds later, Aiko's brain seemed to have decided it wanted to process time in new and interesting ways) a lithe figure exploded from the tree tops, aiming a hard kick at Pakkun –the throat, it would have him choking in his own blood and knock him off the branch he was perched on, the fall was too far, he couldn't land safely. Her muscles moved without her knowledge to position her so that she could catch him if he fell. The dog couldn't possibly dodge it in time, but her sensei was suddenly there deflecting the blow and forcing her backwards with straight taijutsu.

Aiko felt like her eyes were about to pop out of her head, but she couldn't stop staring. She'd improved her speed by almost a hundred percent since she graduated, but what the fighters were doing was downright insane. She could barely keep track of them as flashes of dark and light and rustles of clothing flickering in the branches of the enormous Konoha trees. It was damn hard to tell, but the Chuunin they'd been sent to retrieve (at least, that was probably the opponent, especially as she'd immediately aimed for the ninken tracking her) appeared to be a dark-haired woman of extraordinarily short stature. 'For some reason, I pictured a nondescript man in uniform.' Aiko tried not to wince. She hadn't really thought of the missing nin as a breathing human being- just a target, a filler character. 'He's going to kill this person,' she dully realized. A real person. She felt her breathing speed up, but couldn't control it. She leapt backwards, keeping both combatants in her vision but painfully aware that she was outclassed and had been told to stay out of the way.

She hadn't realized just how enormous the gulf between a genin and a Chuunin was. It had always seemed so easy and natural- that if she just kept working she would get there one day as a brief stop on the road to being a Jounin who could protect Naruto and herself. But this was insane.

Aiko knew damn well that her sensei was a monster among shinobi- one of the absolute best. But this woman seemed to be keeping up with him surprisingly well, despite the obvious signs that she was drained and desperate. 'She must be a taijutsu specialist,' the ten-year old hypothesized. And wasn't that counterintuitive- to see such a tiny woman holding her own in a physical fight against a tall man.

The whole encounter lasted perhaps twenty seconds and boasted at least three times as many blows, from her desperate charge to the instant when Kakashi slid under the woman's guard and dispassionately snapped her neck. 'A bloodless kill,' Aiko numbly registered. 'So that he doesn't bother Pakkun's nose. He must think we still need to do some tracking.' She only noticed she was shaking when her sensei shot her an inscrutable look.

"Pakkun, check ahead. If she set up traps, I want to disable them before we go. Aiko-chan, come here." She steeled herself, then leapt to her teacher's side with two agile jumps, remaining in a slight crouch over the lump of flesh that was a living breathing human being until very recently. "Do you know how we dispose of bodies?" he asked tonelessly.

'Sealing scrolls?' Aiko twitched, feeling her stomach roil. 'No, don't be stupid. That's an expensive resource, it wouldn't be used for a low-level nin like this. That would only be necessary to collect on a bounty.' She took a steadying breath. "We burn it?"  
"Correct. Watch my hands." He steadily worked his way through six hand signs, then breathed in deeply through his nose and pushed one hand out, encased in a flickering orange flame that leapt to cover the body. In an instant, every inch of flesh was shimmering through orange fire- then it blackened, then there was a horrible stench and the corpse crumbled in on itself and burst into greasy ash. Aiko coughed, waving one hand in front of her face to try to keep from breathing the material in. Her sensei dispassionately flipped through three hand signs and blew out a harsh blast of air that scattered the remains through the tree tops.

'The metal didn't burn," Aiko observed. It had been distorted in the sudden heat, but she could still pick out buckles from boots, a thin sludge of what must have been hidden senbon, and two kunai from a thigh holster.

"That was strangely anticlimactic. She was here and now she's dust." Aiko stared blankly at the ash on the wind. A warm hand landed on her head, fingers gently rustling into her hair.

"Being a ninja isn't usually glamorous or climactic," he rumbled. "Most of it is quick, dirty and altogether unpleasant. The types of battles that kids play at in Academy- only the real elites fight that way. It's more of a vanity thing than practical."

"A dick measuring contest," she said without thinking. She actually felt her teacher stiffen. 'Ah, oops, probably not an age-appropriate metaphor,' she realized too late.

"Ah, I suppose," he said, sounding spectacularly uncomfortable. He gave a deep sigh. "Pakkun, report."

"All clear," the dog barked.

"Thank you," he said absentmindedly. The dog had just enough time to nod before he was dismissed. "All right," he sighed, pushing one hand through his hair. It got stuck and he had to tug it out. Aiko forced down an inappropriate smile. "Now we go home and report. Do you want to take a break here? You did well keeping up. I wanted to catch her before she got to the first town, where she might have caused more trouble and complicated the mission."

Aiko consciously didn't look at the branch they were standing on. "No, I'm good." She gave her teacher a weak smile, noting how weary and old he looked. She suddenly wanted to perk him up- he shouldn't look like that. He was only in his twenties. "Come on, old man" she teased, nudging his ribs with her shoulder. "I get it already, you're a total badass. Are you going to make me that fast?"

Her teacher snorted, shoulders relaxing imperceptibly before he took off in a blur of movement. She gave a cry of indignation and hurried to catch up. "You're years away from that," he taunted. "You can barely run in a straight line. I think you should master that before Jounin level taijutsu, eh?"

"I'd be happy if you'd teach me anything instead of beating on me all day," she faux-accused. She really was learning- it just wasn't the kind of thing she could show off. Becoming a faster runner and putting on muscle mass wasn't nearly as cool to demonstrate as crazy taijutsu or elemental jutsu.

She regretted the taunt when her teacher gave a low chuckle. "Well, if my cute little student needs to be taught, I suppose I can dream something up."

________________________________________

The next day, she reported for her promised training and was pleasantly surprised to get her primary element tested.  
"Water?" Kakashi's mask moved as if he was biting at his lip (that really didn't hide everything, why had Team 7 been so irritated by it in the anime? It was just a thin piece of fabric). "Well, I'm no expert at that one but I suppose I can get you started. That's my least favorite element," he cheerfully announced.

"Gee, thanks," she grumbled, dropping the soggy paper to the ground. This was her least favorite part of the training ground- she hadn't come here since her accidental cat murder. She very carefully did not look at the scorched earth to her right. 'No one knows. No one will ever know.' She suppressed a twitch. It was like that Poe story with the beating heart. She just couldn't stop thinking about that goddamn cat. And it seemed like there was no way that Kakashi hadn't noticed her discomfort. 'Is that why we're at this specific part of the training ground? Is it just a coincidence? Is he trying to coerce me into confessing?'

"Don't worry, once you've mastered all the water jutsu in the world we can start you on a good element." Aiko drooped. 'Somehow that's not reassuring.' Her teacher coughed lightly. "Pay attention, Aiko-chan."

The technique he'd showed her was bizarre, ill-suited to Konoha's climate, and incredibly familiar.

"You want me to practice turning into a puddle of water," she said blankly, kicking at her sensei. He materialized from the puddle of –well, himself she supposed, and wasn't that ewwww- and grabbed her ankle, giving her a stern look. "I was envisioning something with some sort of combat potential. Or any kind of potential, really. I suppose that'll be useful if I ever get a mission to investigate the soles of rainboots."

"Don't be a smart ass, it doesn't suit you. Did you catch the hand seals?" Obligingly, he ran slowly through them one more time while she copied. "Good. This element transformation should come comparatively easily to you. More importantly, once you have this down, you'll be able to apply the same skill to summon a mist to hide in, make a water clone, and do a couple other nifty tricks, like causing rain in a small area."

Aiko blinked. "Oh," she said dumbly. "That actually does sound useful."

"It's almost like I'm your teacher or something," Kakashi drawled sarcastically. "The hard part is going to be chakra saturation- in order for this to work, you actually need both respectable reserves and the ability to manipulate almost all of it at once. You won't actually lose most of it in the jutsu, but it needs to be transformed from the neutral state to water type."

Aiko found herself alone on the training ground long after her sensei had slunk away for the night, incredibly frustrated. "Why can't I make this fucking jutsu work?" she outright hissed, flinging her hands up and desperately wishing for something or someone that she could hit.

Too stubborn to give up, she abandoned her normal workout routine for the night in order to concentrate on getting down the one jutsu her sensei had trusted her to learn. She thought that she had the first part down, at least. After hours of trial and error, she could now transform the neutral chakra at her stomach, head, and other main gates into water natured chakra easily and quickly. Seeing as how that didn't do anything, however, it clearly became obvious that it wasn't enough. After that it was a rush to either flood her chakra coils with the new water natured chakra or concentrate on changing the lingering remnants of chakra in her coils in the same way she'd changed the stored chakra. Unfortunately, the first method seemed to require an exact speed of release that she hadn't mastered, and the second method seemed to require more concentration than she could boast of. If she focused on the floating chakra, her reserves faltered back into their neutral state.

'I'm going to figure this out if it kills me,' she vowed. She'd never failed at a jutsu before, and she wasn't about to start now.  
________________________________________

Kakashi slouched a little further, silver hair tickling the back of his neck. He really needed to do something about it. Eventually. "I admit I had doubts about taking a fresh genin out hunting, but she performed well in the field. She displayed a relatively healthy reaction to seeing a kill under controlled combat conditions. It doesn't seem far-fetched that she could be trained as part of a hunter unit. My initial reservations about whether or not that'd be a waste of a potential front-line type still stand, however. She'll probably excel in either specialty."

The Sandaime Hokage smiled, giving the reporting Jounin his full attention for a split second while he was switching out stamps. "Excellent, Kakashi-kun. I am glad to hear it. I've always heard good things about Aiko while she was in the Academy, but of course that doesn't always translate to field performance."

"Actually, she's weirder in the village," Kakashi mumbled, trying not to think too much about why his student got so damn twitchy every time they went to training ground 7. It was probably safer not to know. He lowered his book to address the Hokage directly, but still held Icha Icha up high enough to obscure most of his face. "But her work ethic is satisfactory. I have been concentrating on her speed and endurance. I would say she's actually on par with experienced Genin in those two areas. She's a rank beginner in taijutsu, of course, and her weapons aren't much better. Now that I'm momentarily satisfied that she can be trusted to make it to a mission, I'm teaching her some mostly evasive jutsu so that she doesn't get skewered by someone out of her league. That would be everyone, of course."

"And to think you claimed you didn't want to train genin for so long," Sarutobi pointed out, not bothering to hide his smile.  
Kakashi gave him an uncharacteristically sharp look. "I don't," he said shortly. "But Minato's kids deserve to be taught right. Aiko has her mother's chakra type, which probably makes her our only water type in that generation. I was never good at Kushina's whirlpool style jutsu, but I can teach it to her well enough. She deserves that legacy." He turned his face away from the Hokage's partially sympathetic and partially frustrated expression.

"She isn't her parents," Sarutobi said, a little harshly. He narrowed his eyes, gave the Jounin his full attention and even focused a little bit of intent in his direction. "You understand that?"

"Yes, of course." Kakashi's head twitched into something an optimist might term an incline. "Is that all, Hokage-sama?"  
________________________________________  
Chapter Word Total: 5,124  
Cumulative Word Total: 35,289


	7. Chapter Seven

It took another two weeks of work to perfect the technique. Aiko obsessively worked to improve her speed in both initiating and ending the jutsu, and hiding her chakra signature while in it. Her recitation of hand seals was flawless and speedy, and the surface she covered could both be expanded and reduced. In the end, she had to conclude…

"I'm the best water puddle in the whole goddamn village, Kakashi-sensei." Granted, it hadn't rained in Konoha for weeks, so there was little competition on that front. Still…

"I think that I'll be the judge of that."

He wasn't going to take her word for it. She hadn't really expected him to anyways. Pre-emptively, she began transforming the majority of the chakra in her stomach gate.

At his nod, Aiko whipped through the hand seals and sank into the ground. It was a bizarre sensation. Her field of vision sort of extended and flattened so that she could see everything directly above the water surface, but not to the sides or high up. When her jackass of a sensei started dropping twigs and leaves on the surface, she materialized as quickly as she could and flipped backwards.

"Hmm, not too shabby. How are your chakra reserves?" He had re-opened his book at some point, but she knew he was still watching.

Aiko closed her eyes for an instant to check. "They're fine, sensei. Once I managed to figure it out, this technique doesn't really do much to my reserves. Tree walking is much more chakra intensive."

He looked unimpressed. "Have you mastered water walking?" At her cringe, he gave an ominous chuckle. "Well then, you'd better get started on that before I teach you anything else. It would be pretty embarrassing for a water type to not be able to fight on the water. It's your biggest advantage, so you need to get to a point where you don't even think about maintaining it anymore. For all that it doesn't impress in the same way that lightning, wind, or fire do, water is probably the best elemental nature to have in order to control the field. As you are currently a sad little slug of a genin, you need every advantage you can get. I expect to see significant progress on water walking tomorrow. Meet at the usual time."

"So, like ten thirty?" she said dryly.

Her teacher pretended not to hear. "Seven am sharp! Have a good night."

"It's barely noon!" she shouted to the empty space where he had recently been. It didn't really matter anyways, since she started her days at 6 am. She spent forty minutes doing straight taijutsu sparring with Ino before the other girl pranced off to the Academy, then came to training ground seven to do work on either her stamina, aim, or jutsu until her teacher showed up to check her progress with a spar or demonstration. Aiko scowled. 'He's not the most attentive of teachers. He didn't even demonstrate water walking.' No wonder the original team seven had done so poorly under him. It took a certain kind of person to thrive with so little attention, and that type of person wasn't a pre-teen.

It wasn't that Kakashi neglected her training, exactly. The more progress and signs of improvement she had to demonstrate, the longer he spent with her. It made sense, in a way. Why would he waste his time on someone who wasn't dedicated to improving?

'Poor Naruto. That's not your learning style at all.'

She pushed thoughts of her brother and his messed-up future team out of her mind, glaring at her opponent for the day. The stream was barely two feet deep and twice as wide, so at least she wouldn't be getting completely soaked when she inevitably fell in. Delicately, one small sandaled foot settled on top of the water, surrounded by a fan of chakra to maintain surface tension. That went alright. Her control failed altogether as soon as she picked up her other foot.

So she tried again.

And again.

After about twenty complete failures, Aiko stopped and sat on the bank, trying to figure out what was going wrong. Was surface tension not the answer? Was it really just an adhesive effect like what she did when tree walking that she needed, or should she try to stabilize herself with chakra that went down into the water instead of across the surface?

"This would be easier if the water would stop moving," she grumbled to herself.

Then she literally face palmed. Through her palm, she mumbled "I'm an idiot. Of course it'd be easier to figure this out on calmer water first, and then try moving water."

Konoha (being conveniently located in the center of hellishly hot Fire Country) was rather short on lakes, so she ended up making a trip to the onsen. Luckily most people were still at work, and the water was mostly empty. Her progress was much faster here- with still water and barefooted, she figured out that (despite how counterintuitive it seemed to her) all she needed was the adhesive effect. After an hour of work, she had the basic skill down (though a bit wobbly) and had completely drained her chakra.

'I deserve a break.' Aiko sighed contentedly as she completely immersed into the water for the first time… then groaned when she realized that the twigs and leaves that Kakashi had dropped into the Aiko-puddle had apparently nestled in her hair all day. They floated away as she re-surfaced and gave them a disgusted look. The only other person currently in the pool, an unfairly voluptuous older girl with a bottle of apple juice and a book gave an unladylike snort of amusement and spoke for the first time.  
"I wondered when you would notice that, kid." The older girl almost had to be a kunoichi. She had a rockin' body, lithe musculature, and thin scars on her hands and arms.

Aiko rolled her eyes in reply. "It's not like it matters." She grabbed the soggy leaves and tossed them over the side of the fence, where they landed with a barely audible plop in the communal pool. The older girl snickered.

"I guess that solved the problem. You're awful young to be trying to water walk, kitten. You really shouldn't play at being a ninja." The woman stretched languorously and ripples gently wavered across the surface of the water.

"And you're awful young to be reading that filthy porn, but I wasn't going to say anything, nee-chan. Isn't that the one with the yaoi threesome?" Aiko drawled in imitation of the other girl's speech. She'd seen Kakashi with the same book not long ago.  
Surprised, her companion blinked twice before breaking out into laughter. "Not the answer I expected. I'm Anko, kid. You?"  
"Aiko." She examined the older girl in a new light. "How's the book? I asked my sensei once, and he turned bright red and shunshined away". She ran a hand through her short hair, shaking out some of the water. "Didn't see him for two days".

Anko laughed, a surprisingly musical sound. "Nice. It's okay. Full of all sorts of touchy feely crap, so I skip ahead to the good stuff. Politics and sex," she said, sounding more than a little bit satisfied. "The one before was better. The protagonist is a demolitions expert, and also a total hunk. This one is all sneaky infiltration shit- the premise is that the guy has been hired to find out who put a hit out on the princess." She leaned back against the side before glancing around shiftily. "If your prudish teacher asked, I told you that it was shameful and you should never read them."

"I don't think Kakashi-sensei is a prude," Aiko challenged. "I just think he's socially and emotionally handicapped. He really only needs like ten more years of socialization before he learns to stop being so fucking weird all the time." Anko snorted.

"Oy, that bastard's teaching?" She eyed Aiko analytically for the first time. "Hokage-sama must be really desperate for nin if he's promoting babies like you."

Aiko shrugged, not particularly invested in Anko's opinion. "Whatever you say, bitch. I'm okay for a baby genin. I would have stayed in the Academy longer if I could, but they pretty much shoved me out into Kakashi sensei's loving care."

"Sorry to hear that, kitten." Anko took a swig of her apple juice. She caught Aiko eyeing it and gave a sly grin. "I don't share."  
"I wasn't asking," Aiko retorted calmly, smiling involuntarily. Anko was a snarky bitch, and she liked that. "What are you up to? Relaxing after a mission or something?"

"Hiding from my boss." The older girl winked. "Ibiki will never look for me here. I swear, he's been trying to drag my ass in to do paperwork on my last five days off. Not today, though. I am going to fill my face with candy, read really nasty porn, and just generally be completely useless all day."

There was a moment of silence. "I'm pretty sure you're my hero." Anko choked, coughing on her juice, losing her cool for the first time.

After she got her breath under control, the older girl pointed at her, not seeming to care that the gesture was rude. "You didn't see that."

________________________________________  
"I made a new friend yesterday," Aiko said conversationally. Naruto looked up, not paying attention to his target. His next shuriken was shamefully far from where it should have been. He didn't even notice.

"That's good, I guess."

"Mmhm. She knows tons of really awful curse words and she's going to teach me some of them." Her voice was as bland as if she was discussing the weather. "I mean it, they're really filthy, amazing things I've never considered." She landed a trio of senbon in quick succession, adding to the picture of a smiley face she was constructing. Naruto gave her picture a glance and made a face, scowling at his own unpierced target and the shuriken anywhere from two inches to a foot away from it. ""Mind your wrist. You're flicking it like you would for a kunai and throwing the star off balance."

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto sighed, stiffening his wrist obediently. "I don't see why I have to learn a second projectile. The Academy only requires one for graduation."

"Their requirements are lame. You're going to be better than your classmates." She made a nearly-perfect circle for the left eye and made a face at the one needle that hit slightly off target. The other eye was better.

Her little brother sighed, slouching over despondently. "You're so mean to me, Aiko-chan."

"Sounds about right," she mumbled distractedly, considering making a vertical line through the wonky eye and pretending it was her teacher's Sharingan. For all she knew it was lumpy. She'd never seen it in person. Instead of thinking too hard about it, she made the line. Her brother's eye caught the movement.

"That's an ugly face." Aiko rolled her eyes and nudged her brother with a shoulder to force him out of her personal space, completing it with three little dots in the wonky eye.

"Whatever, you big bully. Let's go home. It's getting too dark for target practice." She pulled her needles out of the target, bunched them and wrapped a thin ribbon around the cluster before sliding the whole thing back into her thigh holster. At her side, Naruto gathered his shuriken, giving them dirty looks all the while. "Hey, how is the campaign against Mizuki-bastard going?"

Naruto perked up at the mention his long-term vendetta. "Hey, hey, you wanna help as a favor or an early birthday present? He found the squid a few days ago, so it's just about time for his counter move. I predict that, much like the last four hundred times, he will retaliate by putting me in detention and grading my Monday test down."

If she were a different person, Aiko might have tried to curtail her brother's mischievous nature. His pranks were immature and made people dislike him. But they were just so… so Naruto. The only thing she tried to do was aim him in more appropriate directions (Poor Iruka was a nice guy who deserved a break occasionally). Mizuki, on the other hand, was a gigantic prick. Even if he hadn't been a traitor (she wasn't going to assume he was, what she knew might not be totally accurate) he still had no place around children. It wasn't just Naruto's education that he was damaging. Thusly, he had the privilege of suffering the lion share of Naruto's attention.

"Ah, that's a tricky one. May I suggest something subtle and refined? Do you know what kind of sandals he wears? We'll need to know the size."

"Uh, yeah." Naruto tugged at the collar of his orange shirt (apparently, some things were unavoidable. At least it wasn't a jump suit). "Three pairs, I think. Two are the standard blues, one is black with a wider band. All size 10 from the standard outfitters, minor wear and tear. He takes good care of his stuff." He paused for a moment to cackle, fingers held up into hooked claws.  
"Alright. We're going to go buy three 9 ½ pairs of shoes and rough 'em up. I'll make the switch while he's sleeping". She was much better than she'd like to be at creeping on sleeping ninja. "We'll have to have something a little more obvious, so that he thinks he knows how you retaliated. Standard paint job?"

"His house, I think. It's relatively isolated, one story 400 square foot. I think I can paint one side nicely in an hour, but a slap job in probably less than fifty minutes. I hate to do bad work, though." He scrunched up his nose.

Aiko huffed. "Don't be ridiculous, I would never ask you to undermine your artistic integrity like that. What kind of sister do you think I am?" He elbowed her.

"Love you, nee-chan."

"Love you too, nii-chan."

________________________________________

"Sennnnnseeeiiii. Sensei. Seeeeennnnnnseeeeeeei."

"What do you want, foul demon?" Kakashi muttered from behind his book, being careful to keep the pages out of her view. He wasn't going to be responsible for giving a ten year old access to adult materials. He'd teach her to kill, steal, and commit tax fraud, sure. Those were time-honored ninja traditions. But he firmly believed that access to adult materials should be restricted until a ninja was mature enough to realize they could abuse henge to buy it on their own.

He was a little surprised that she hadn't figured that out yet.

"This was my forty-second D rank mission, sensei. I was hoping that since you are so very fond of me, you would consider taking me on a C rank, if you think I can handle one." She leaned in obnoxiously close. "You know, since it's my birthday and all."

Kakashi gave her a wilted look. "Ninja don't have birthdays," he said shortly before turning back to his book. Jiraiya-sama really did write such marvelous love scenes. His heart stopped everytime he got to the part where the clever bodyguard first realized the servant girl he'd fallen for was the princess in disguise under the cherry trees…

His student gave an obnoxious sigh. "Sure they do, you must have had like sixty of them. Surely you remember at least one. If not, maybe I should return you to the Hokage for a newer model Jounin. I'm way too adorable to get stuck with a defective one."

"Ten laps around the village. Go." The cheeky brat actually stuck her tongue out at him before she cheerfully took off. She knew damn well it wasn't really a punishment- she normally ran eight after he 'left'.

As far as genin went… Well, he'd gotten a pretty good one. Then he snorted. 'Of course she's a good nin, with a pedigree like that.' He semi-frequently checked on her training when she thought she was alone, if he wasn't running one of his real missions out of the village. The fact that he couldn't really be taken entirely off the roster was probably slowing her progress, but it couldn't be helped. Her work ethic was fairly impressive and hilarious, as was whatever the hell she was doing to that poor Chuunin Academy teacher. Was it possible to bully a superior, or was 'psychological warfare as a hobby' a more accurate description?

Regardless.

'Would it really be so terrible to take her on a real mission?'

He'd been delaying that for a while. If he'd had a team, they would have been out in the field for quite a while. But taking an apprentice out was different. She wouldn't have any support if he got caught up with an opponent far beyond her level.  
She'd been a genin for over half a year, however. Aiko certainly wasn't Academy fresh, and she couldn't do D-ranks for her whole career… no matter how safe that would make her. Minato probably wouldn't have wanted a safe little princess for a daughter. Not when she'd trained as a ninja.

Kakashi sighed, putting away his book. While his loyal little minion (and she really was loyal, wasn't she? This was the first time she'd complained about all that busy work…) was busy running, he ran across town on the rooftop highway and straight in through the window of Hokage Tower. Sarutobi looked up from his enormous stacks of paperwork, mildly surprised and not entirely concealing the ink drying on the side of his face from where he'd used something wet as a pillow.

"Kakashi-kun? What's this visit about?"

He hmmed, feeling a little sheepish for running over on impulse outside of office hours. It was lucky that the Sandaime liked him. "Well, you see, I thought we had a meeting yesterday, so I rushed here right away. I got trapped in my apartment when I lost my keys. They were in the fridge."

"Naturally," the Sandaime said dryly. "I don't believe we had one planned, but since you're here, why don't we talk."

"I was considering taking my genin out of the village on a C-rank," he explained, rubbing his head a little sheepishly. "But I was hoping we could find a nice, safe one. Possibly one ten or less miles out of the village with a secret ANBU escort. I could settle for any Jounin whose name doesn't rhyme with 'Saito Sai,' though. She's awfully impressionable. She's started repeating things I've only heard from Anko before."

The Sandaime covered his face with both hands, amused. "Now, keep in mind that I haven't checked, but I think we're fresh out of those missions. How about a nice, easy escort mission? Standard bandit prevention type work. You know, you've already taken her out once on a more dangerous mission."

"Yes, but I had less time to think about that, and we were certain there was only one opponent." He considered the Hokage's suggestion of an escort mission. Those were pretty long missions- civilians travel slowly. "Sounds risky," he said, more to himself than the Hokage before raising his voice just a little. "You know, I think this was a mistake. She's starting to get really good at finding discarded weaponry on the academy training grounds and the Councilman's kids really like her. Maybe I should let her do that for just a while longer." Yeah. That sounded like a pretty good plan. Escort missions could go wrong, very wrong. The client could be lying, the client could be a drug dealer with a hit out on them and powerful enemies, they could run into missing nin out to collect on his enormous bounty, or someone might see his adorable little genin and want to kidnap her and-

"Kakashi-kun, you're hyperventilating." The old man sighed. "I know it's hard to take a long mission with a fresh genin, knowing that her life is in your hands. But you can't keep her in the village forever. First of all, I think that Kushina might well rise up from the dead to beat you senseless for underestimating her baby."

She probably would.

"It's not that I don't have faith in her," he protested weakly. "It's more that…"

"You don't have faith in yourself as a leader. Kakashi-kun, you haven't lost a subordinate on a mission since… well, only once in your career." He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I'll have a mission picked out tomorrow. Now go home. I'm going to," he mumbled the last bit to himself.

"Hai, Hokage-sama," he said, not entirely sure if he'd just won or lost.

________________________________________

"You know, when I pictured my ninja escort, I imagined someone a little taller."

"That's okay," Aiko said blandly. "I'm just flattered you spend so much time thinking about me when I'm not around."  
"Wait, what?" The civilian boy blinked, but Aiko was already on the opposite end of the group, waiting for orders from her teacher.

They had gotten assigned to a small group of merchants headed to Suna. There was big business to be had transporting grains, sugars, and plant clippings to the desert after they were harvested. Seeing as they were mostly transporting comestibles, it was unlikely that the caravan would be specifically targeted by bandits, but that didn't protect them from standard roadside dangers.  
Three different businesses were sending merchandise on this trip. Two of them were family affairs, staffed with younger sons and daughters learning the trade under an aunt's supervision, but the third was sending only a grim-faced hired hand.  
A C-ranked mission would normally be staffed with either a three-man Chuunin team, four veteran genin, or a Jounin with three fresh genin. Despite the fact that her sensei was an elite for whom this mission was a total joke, Aiko was still a little nervous that they were technically understaffed. She certainly wasn't the equivalent of three genin.

Despite those misgivings, she knew better than to let the clients sense her nerves. Panicked civilians helped nothing.  
Her sensei didn't seem worried at all. 'I wish I could be as calm as he is. Sensei is actually really cool.' Aiko snuck a glance at him. He wasn't reading for once. Maybe he couldn't in front of paying clients?

"I want you to take point. I'm going to be at the rear. Pay attention. There's little risk, but it'll be you who spots any potential ambushes."

Aiko swallowed. "Hai, sensei." She walked to the front normally- she'd gotten a brief lecture about frightening civilians with unnecessary displays of ninja skills two days ago when she got the notice for this mission.

It had been lucky that she'd had so much time to get ready. She worried at her lower lip with her teeth. 'Poor Naruto. He's never been alone this long before…' The rush to get packed and make sure she had all the appropriate gear had kept her busy pretty much the whole time when she wasn't going over procedures. Having never been out of the village for any period of time, she needed all new standard gear for extended travel in addition to special additions for the desert climate she would be suffering through.

For now she was in her normal clothes, but she had an identical (though long-sleeved) set in a pretty shade of yellow that wouldn't be quite so hot as her normal black to change into, as well as a long white scarf for her face and hair. Her sensei still seemed to be a bit baffled by her civilian-esque leggings and tunic, but he didn't tell her that she had to get standard gear.  
Kakashi-sensei had even been kind enough to point out just how useful her water natured chakra would be in the desert. It was much easier for her to augment existing water supplies, but it was possible for her to use her jutsu using only the trace amounts of moisture in the environment. It wouldn't be easy, especially in a desert, but she would never need to worry about thirst.

Actually, the discussion had made her feel a little special and stupidly lucky. Water and wind natured chakra types were both incredibly rare outside of their respective countries, as chakra type was affected by genetics and to a smaller extent the environment a child was raised in. Konoha's ninja were generally fire, earth, or lightning type (in that order of probability). Through pure dumb luck, she was one of less than ten water-types in Konoha's active forces.

That didn't mean she was feeling cocky, however. Her jutsu arsenal was currently a bit pathetic, and completely useless for combat in the environment she was headed to. Aiko scanned ahead as the group passed out of sight of the village. She didn't really expect any enemies within their borders, but caution was better than a failed mission.

Paying attention was all well and good, but that didn't mean she wasn't a little bummed about missing so much training time. After she had mastered hiding in a puddle, she had easily jumped to creating the Hiding in the Mist technique and the jutsu that would create a small rain effect. Those two were pretty useless so far, however, because she didn't have the other skills to go with them. Obscuring vision would do little good unless she had both the skills to hide within it and ways of tracking targets non-visually. As was, the mist would harm her performance about as much as it would an opponent, possibly more. The rain wasn't much better- it could be used as a sensory technique or as a method of dispersing poison (or as a prequel to hiding in a puddle or frying some motherfuckers with lightning). She didn't have the skills for any of that, nor a penchant for poisoning. Really, right now it was useful for gardening and not much else.

Aiko pulled herself out of depressing thoughts about her status as a sad, useless little Genin beginner to send out a chakra pulse as a scouting tool. She found nothing, as expected.

'Really, what was I doing asking for a higher class mission?' She hadn't really expected to get one so quickly. In a way it was touching that her teacher had fulfilled her request so quickly. But she really wasn't ready for real missions. At this point, she could only be a burden.

Depressing.

The bird calls in the area were familiar, but the way that their clumsy civilian clients made enough noise to scare them off wasn't. Aiko kept track of how distant the sounds appeared to be at any given time. Apparently she had better hearing for birds than they did for civilians. Her eyes flickered to the side. That was a freaking miracle. Those wagons were loud, and so was the cluster of teenagers who were already whining about the walk.

She didn't quite understand that. It had only been about four hours since they left the outlier village where they had met their civilian clients. For all that Kakashi-sensei teased her about being out of shape, Aiko could run for miles without problems, as long as she could stay hydrated. Minato and Kushina must have been amazing, because they passed on some rockin' genetics. Her mature mind had been enough to pass her off as an academic prodigy, but if she hadn't had serious physical potential too then she wouldn't have been promoted at ten. In the seven months since her graduation, Kakashi had pushed her to almost triple her speed. Individual instruction was an incredible tool for speeding up training. She was relatively certain now that she would be able to beat her old sparring partner… Or at least, she would have been if he hadn't been improving too. She made a face. There was no way he hadn't improved. He would be graduating soon, wouldn't he? He'd started three terms after she had, not a full year, meaning that he was probably closer to being two years older her than one. More importantly, Neji was still probably a total bastard.

Though the snail's pace was killing her and she was bored past the point of tears, Aiko dutifully channeled chakra to her ears for a short period to augment the sense when she noted it had been a while since she made a non-visual check. Nothing strange. Kakashi's hunter specialization meant that he'd had plenty of little tricks to pass on about finding opponents. She was a rank amateur at all of them, but a low-risk mission would probably be the place to improve on them.

Shadows were playing in the forest now. Calmly, she scanned the treetops, branches and underbrush for any signs of movement or tracks. "Well make camp here." Surprised, Aiko turned around to see her sensei indicating a spot slightly off the path. As the group settled and the civilians cheerily started cooking over open fires, Aiko made her way to her teacher. "After we eat, I'll take first watch." He pulled out his book and easily flipped it open to a page in the middle. "Do you want to try your hand at hunting, or should I get a rabbit?"

"I'll do it," she mumbled, wanting to be useful. "Preferences?"

"Hmm, not really." He flipped a page, although there was like, no way he'd read the last one already. "Don't go too far."  
She snorted a little rudely. "I'm not going to find wildlife very close," Aiko said quietly.

"Closer than you think." He sighed. "Go on, now."  
________________________________________  
Chapter Word Total : 4,945  
Cumulative word: 40,234


	8. Bildungsroman

Even her thin yellow shirt felt heavy on the shoulder blades, plastered as it was with disturbingly warm sweat.

'Isn't the purpose of sweat to cool us down?'

Aiko tried not to wheeze, feeling a painful dryness in her throat. She just wasn't used to the dry, hot air in Suna. Now that they were within sight of Suna, she and Kakashi were walking together at the end of the group. There was no point in trying to rush ahead of the civilians they were escorting.

Said civilians were currently talking with two nin who were probably the equivalent of Konoha's Chuunin gate guards- a gangly teenage boy who didn't yet have the muscle for his broad shoulders and a woman who was probably in her early to mid twenties.

With their paperwork verifying they had contracts to sell in Sand, the merchant wagons would get in with only a brief but incredibly invasive search of their goods and persons. The two Konoha ninja, on the other hand, would not exactly be welcomed, and not just because they were more likely to be dangerous than civilians. Their contract was a two-way trip, which meant that not only was Suna having to accept multiple foreign ninja in their village, those foreign ninja were actually taking business that Suna should have had.

It was strange and shitty, but Suna had been performing very poorly lately and losing a lot of missions. Aiko wouldn't have known that without the pre-mission briefing. She was under strict orders that basically boiled down to not acting like a jackass and causing extra tension between their villages.

"Next," the thin stern-faced kunoichi conducting the searches gestured for the last wagon to pull up while the others happily escaped into the village, eager to get out of the midday sun. Aiko sighed, leaning her head against her teacher's side and nestling into his arm. He firmly but gently put his hand on her head and pushed her off.

"Personal space, Aiko-chan." He steered her away until his arm was fully outstretched in a phenomenal display of social awkwardness.

She scoffed. "Don't pretend you don't like it." Still, she didn't try to lean on him again. It was too hot to touch another living being anyway.

"Okay, Konoha shinobi. Papers?" Kakashi smoothly moved forward to deal with the Chuunin guard. Aiko involuntarily grimaced, eyes bulging when his voice dropped half an octave from its already low pitch to something incredibly smooth and sexy. He leaned forward, tilting his head suggestively and somehow looming. The Chuunin who had previously looked so aloof was biting at her lip and tucking a lock of spiky brown hair behind her ear.

'Oh, ewwww.' Aiko gagged, turning her face away. The Chuunin's coworker gave her a sympathetic look. "Yeah, that's pretty gross." He ran a hand through his short hair and made a face.

"Oh, your student is cleared." The woman handed back a sheaf of papers that she couldn't possibly have properly examined. Aiko and her new comrade-in-disgust snorted in unison.

"How nice," her teacher purred. Aiko felt her stomach turn. "Why don't you go check on our reservation at the inn?" Aiko eyed her teacher for just a second- she'd never seen him act like this. And it had been very sudden… 'He's up to something. I suppose I should play along.'

"What a coincidence," she said flatly, locking her face into an impassive expression. "I'm going to leave."

"You do that," he said distractedly. 'Definitely an act, he's always paying attention.' It seemed to fool the Suna nin, though. The kunoichi giggled, heavy lidded eyes blinking slowly while she preened under what appeared to be his undivided attention.

"You've scarred me for life," she said a little viciously. Her teacher merely crinkled his visible eye. Aiko snatched her papers in a fist and stomped off, practically fuming. She then proceeded to get completely, hopelessly lost. "All these buildings look alike," she said a little defensively to herself. 'I should probably go back and ask where the hotel is…' She curled her toes in her open-front sandals, wishing she could keep the sand out. She'd only been in the desert for a few days, and she was already ridiculously sick of it.

"Oh come on," she quietly cursed. "It's only been like six minutes since I walked in the gaaate," she whined under her breath.  
Much like Konoha, Suna was arranged to be confusing to outsiders. Unfortunately, she wasn't familiar with Suna at all. The streets were nearly empty, which made some sense. It was the hottest part of the day. The few people she did see under shady outcroppings or by windows gave her strange looks. 'How is it obvious that I'm an outsider to absolutely everyone around?' She tried to compare her clothing to that of the civilians she'd seen. It didn't seem to be very different. A little brighter in color, maybe.

"What are you doing here."

Aiko shrieked, stepping back and bringing one hand up to her throat. "Kami, you startled me," she breathed. A boy about her own age was giving her a stink-eye through messy bangs. He was another example of the exotic hair colors in this world. It looked like it came out of a box. She would have thought it was brown if it weren't for the red glinting in the sunlight and nearly blinding her.

Judging by the way he'd snuck up on her, he was a shinobi. She probably would have guessed that from the bandages holding down the edges of his pants anyways.

"You don't belong here."  
"Well, sorr-yyy," she grumbled. "Looking for the Two Flowers hotel. Wanna help me so I don't spend all night wandering around your town?"

He blinked slowly, mouth twisting into a sneer. "Foreign moron. You're going the wrong way. The blue building over there," he pointed out.

"Uh, thanks Sunshine." She gave a loose salute and set off in the direction he indicated, but was cut off by a mean-faced teen with the wildest blonde hair she'd ever seen.

"You didn't explain why you're wandering around where you don't belong, brat."

"Making friends, Aiko-chan?" Her personal savior and teacher was suddenly there, looking very tall and serious. The kunoichi exchanged glances with her comrade, less sure about harassing an adult.

"Something like that, sensei." Aiko wound her arm through her teacher's elbow. "I thought I was going to be lost forever. Shinobi-san over there pointed me in the direction of our hotel. Kunoichi-san was just talking about how much she likes my hair. I like hers too."

"I'm sure," he said dryly. "Is there a problem here?"

The older girl narrowed her eyes at the two foreign nin. "I suppose not. Come on, otouto." The two sand nin left in a blur. Despite the theatrics, they weren't actually far above her level, if at all. She caught sight of them tapping away on the rooftops. 'A poor shunshin.'

Aiko turned her full attention to her sensei. "Thanks. I take it you actually know where to go?"

"Of course." He started walking, presence diminished once again to his normal slumping 'harmless and barely awake' look. There was something incredibly disturbing about just how convincing that act was, even when she damn well knew better. "I wasn't expecting you to go very far. Most of Suna's citizens aren't overly enthused about outsiders."

"I wasn't expecting you to ditch me in a foreign power for a pretty face," Aiko grumbled, kicking up a small cloud of dust. Her teacher gave her a mildly amused look.

"Maa, so uncute. You don't have any faith in me, do you?" He sighed quietly. "Would it restore your respect in me if I told you that I was both speeding us into the village by easing possible tensions over our presence and distracting her from realizing that I was gauging the political climate?" His voice was completely bland.

'The worst part is that I believe him. If he was really trying to get laid, he wouldn't do it on a mission around his 11 year old subordinate.'

Aiko rolled her eyes fondly. "Don't worry, I'll respect you in the morning." Her sensei eyed her at the slight innuendo, clearly trying to gauge if it was intentional. She kept a straight face. Possibly the best thing about her situation was that she constantly got to mess with people who were unnerved by a pre-teen girl making dirty jokes. She was milking it for all she was worth- Kakashi-sensei would figure out pretty soon that she was aware of what she was saying. The game was only fun when people were kept off-balance, trying to figure out if they were perverts for hearing innuendo from a child's lips.  
She carefully didn't cackle or even smile on the walk to their hotel.

"One room please, two beds."

The tall woman behind the counter gave her teacher an unimpressed once-over, then a pointed look at the pre-teen girl he was asking to share a room with. Aiko blushed at the implication, but her teacher didn't react in the slightest. He merely waited for the room key, locked into pleasant detachment until the wrinkled crab behind the counter gave up and forked it over, giving him the evil eye all the while.

"Is it really so strange to share a room with your teacher?" she asked in an undertone while they took the stairs.

"No," he said shortly. He pulled out his book and lovingly opened it for the first time in quite a while, now that there was no risk of getting sand in it. He gently ran a finger down the spine, expression softening for the first time she'd ever seen. "That woman was just a pervert."

Aiko twitched. 'I wish I could tell whether or not he's intentionally using irony.'

________________________________________

Waiting for their clients to unload all of their merchandise in exchange for a whole lot of money was pretty boring. When she was lying awake in bed the first night, Aiko wondered if the blonde kunoichi she'd met had been Temari- which would make the boy either Kankuro or Gaara. Much more likely Kankuro, as Temari probably wouldn't spend her free time with Gaara.

'Don't be stupid.' She rolled over onto her tummy, sliding both arms around her pillow, trying to burrow even further under the hotel-provided covers. Suna was kind of a shithole- she cooked alive during the day and shivered all night. 'You can't assume that the first two shinobi you meet in Suna just happen to be the older two Sand Siblings. Blonde and reddish hair must just not be that rare in sand.'

Still, the thought lingered. She kept an eye out over the next few days, but didn't see either of them.  
Her teacher amused himself with books and using their mission budget in teahouses, but Aiko was bored out of her skull and anxious to get back to training. Kakashi made it clear, however, that practicing ninja skills within the borders of a foreign power was actually considered provocative and possibly hostile. For some strange reason, it made people nervous to see foreign military powering up jutsu, sprinting around or looking too interested in the environment.

After some consideration, she decided that being the cause of a diplomatic incident was slightly worse than missing out on training. Because she couldn't stand sitting around all day, she walked. Aiko wandered the streets from sun up until it was time to have a light meal, went to sleep, and woke up again after the worst of the heat had passed. She washed and re-wore her warmest clothes (and the light clothes layered under) and went out for the first few hours after dark, when the village lit up for a short time with music floating out from open doors and candy cooking. Apparently, it was customary to do socializing right after dark. It was very strange to a Konoha-raised girl. In her experience, the nightlife was for adults- definitely not a family affair like it was here. It wasn't raucous where the adults were drinking, either. Apparently Suna natives were relatively reserved even when partying it up.

It took a while, but Aiko managed to join in on the third night, slipping around the desert like a native. Her training in attention to detail helped- she learned how to wear her scarf like a native (her previous arrangement was apparently just Not Done for some reason) and switched out her standard issue blues for closed shoes she found in the market.

The group she had joined all seemed to be a little older than her- a group of civilians who were probably thirteen or so. Either they didn't mind her age or she could pass for a short teen, because she had no shortage of partners to laughingly help her through the steps of a dance she'd never seen before.

Instead of the partnered dances she was used to, it was apparently vogue in Sand to form concentric circles. The movements involved a motion like they were passing something around from hand to hand, circling partners, and rapid swirling. Aiko laughed, giddy. She wasn't the best dancer there, but the advantage of several years' worth of taijutsu training was enough that she could do a decent job of remembering the movements.

"Now turn!" listening to her new friend, a slim girl with black hair and teal eyes, Aiko spun quickly and crossed her arms at the wrists above her hand, then brought them apart to interlock her fingers with the girls on either side. The group quick-stepped inward and twisted, creating a tangle of arms above their heads.

Then the screaming started. It didn't last long, which was almost more disturbing than anything, as it choked off very suddenly. Aiko immediately freed her hands and turned in the direction it was coming from, but her civilian companions wasted a few long moments in confusion, as did the musicians. Whoever had made the sound had only been a few blocks away. The flutes and stringed instruments trickled to a stop, and the crowds began to move and murmur uneasily. The teal-eyed girl laid a hand on Aiko's shoulder. "You should go back to your room," she said quietly. "Come on."

Sure enough, the crowd was dispersing- swiftly, but in an orderly way she wouldn't have expected. The people were more nervous and annoyed than panicked- almost as if this was a routine occurrence.

"Why?" she hissed. "Do you know what's going on?"

"I have a pretty good idea," the older girl said grimly, steering her down the street. "But they won't give us the details. Any minute now they'll be sending out the order to clear the streets." An older boy with coloring similar to her new friend pushed out of the crowd and gave the two girl a tight smile.

"Alright there, Chiye?"

"Maa, maa," Chiye mumbled to the boy who almost had to be her brother. "Did you hear anything?"

"They think that freak killed someone," he said quietly. His eyes flickered over to the west. "Quieted down real fast, didn't it?"  
"Quiet, you want to get taken away?" Chiye hissed. "Bishamon, this is Aiko. Can you take her back to her hotel?" The older boy barely looked at her before he agreed.

"That really won't be necessary," Aiko waved her hands. "I'll find it."

"Better safe than sorry. Relax, this is my cousin, he lives in that direction and he'll get you there safely. It would be pretty poor hospitality for you to walk alone across town. I'm going to catch up with my mom. Be safe, you too." She hastily hugged the older teen and pushed her way towards the other side of the street, quickly disappearing into the crowd.

"Let's go." The streets were quickly clearing as people filed into houses. Before too long they were almost alone. A siren of some sort went off. Aiko turned to look, but Bishamon indicated that she shouldn't look around. He stared straight forward, businesslike and as impassive as he could manage. "It's coming from the central tower, telling us to go inside. It's the same alarm that indicates a sandstorm, but in this case it just generally means the village is going into lockdown and that the streets are unsafe."

Conversation ended after that. He left her in the lobby and took off at a run, clearly anxious to get home. Aiko walked slowly through the halls, marveling at how strangely empty it was. The hotel's public areas weren't usually this empty unless it was the middle of the night, when it got cold enough to force even her inside.

Her teacher stopped his pacing and eyed her when she came in. He didn't make any obvious changes in expression or body language, but she got the sense that he was relieved. In response to her unasked question, he shrugged. "Whatever is going on here was apparently something they didn't want me seeing. When the siren started I went to look for you, but a helpful group of Jounin escorted me back to the room." His attention flickered to the window. They'd been given a room without glass or curtains, only a thin screen to keep out sand. Most windows in Suna were like that, but… 'We're being monitored,' she realized. That made some sense- they'd have to be really stupid to let foreigners wander around unobserved. She subtly flashed her next question through handsigns.

Do you think they can hear us?

"No," he said easily, "but they can probably read your lips." He didn't have to explain that his mask made that impossible for anyone to do to him. Aiko scowled and considered the benefits of a mask for the first time.

She went and sat on her bed, turning her back to the window. "I got the impression that the civilians I was with knew what happened," she confided quietly. "One of them said something that implied a well-known figure had killed someone and that this was unsurprising. They were worried about being overheard, which hints that whoever this is, they're protected by someone powerful." She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. Now that she wasn't moving, she was starting to feel cold.

'Is Gaara the 'freak' they mentioned? It seems likely. Not many domestic issues would send a village into lockdown like this.' Her heart pounded at the notion. 'At this point, he's really dangerous. I don't want to mess with whatever is going on here.'

Her teacher absorbed the information silently before giving a slight nod. "I see. Well, it's beyond our mission parameters, so we're not doing anything unless we're attacked."

"Hai, sensei," she agreed, slipping into formality as a source of comfort from the strange situation.

They weren't allowed to leave their room for twenty four hours. Their food was delivered directly to their door- an assortment of plain brown rice and vegetables. Aiko found herself incredibly grateful to be with a professional- Kakashi checked all the food for poisons easily and quickly. Her academy-trained mind was more than a bit uncomfortable eating food that she hadn't seen prepared.

"One of the few medical jutsu I know," he commented when he caught her staring as his hand lit up with green. "I'll teach you eventually, if your control is good enough."

Overnight they received a message from one of their clients- the group was ready to go back home, and were being pressured to get out. They didn't say that, exactly, but the two could read between the lines. They packed up their meager supplies and met with their clients at the same gate they'd entered, followed the entire way by less-than-inconspicuous Suna nin, as if to make a point.

Kakashi sighed. "Well, off on another adventure." Aiko stared up at her teacher for a long moment, and then shook her head as if to ward off his weirdness. It was safer not to reply to that.

The first four days of their trip back to where they'd met the caravan passed in bland monotony, where the only excitement was the first time that someone spotted greenery. Well. Other than the occasional "Eek! Look, there's a scorpion/snake/poisonous rabbit, kill it with fire!" (everything in this desert was poisonous, from the animals to the cacti to even the rocks). Only a few hours of walking after that exciting discovery got them out of the desert proper and into a sort of scrubland with bushes and ratty grass that was slightly less fiendishly hot. After almost two weeks in the desert, it was a welcome change in scenery and temperature.

Aiko was still incredibly frustrated by the pace- if they had traveled at ninja speeds, even a genin like her could have made the trip from Konoha to Suna in less than four days. It apparently took civilians something like eleventy billion years. She half expected to evolve spurs or poison sacs like a desert creature before she ever made it home.

She considered sharing that theory with her teacher, but didn't want to risk it. He didn't seem like the kind of person who would allow whining on a mission.

Kakashi-sensei was a wall of professionalism and impassivity the entire trip back. It seemed a little strange for her giggly, porn-reading teacher, but Aiko eventually decided to think of it as his 'game face'. The only other option was some sort of dissociative personality disorder. She didn't want to think she'd been given to a teacher with such blatant issues, so 'game face' it was.

She was almost grateful when the bandits attacked.

Aiko sensed them long before they came out of cover and had a staccato conversation with her teacher in the Konoha equivalent of Morse code, casually drifting to more tactical positions.

Six civilians, her teacher tapped. Also one low genin/high academy level. Do not engage first.

Fatalities or subdue? She signed back, not knowing the tap code. He slowly blinked through a heavy-lidded gray eye, lowering his head very slightly into a nod.

Standard. Well, that answered that. No one wanted more bandits running around that would menace future genin teams.  
It was an unfortunate fact of life for civilian soldiers/mercenaries that engaging in only the physical aspects of shinobi-like activity would give them very distinctive chakra signatures. Only shinobi learned how to hide their chakra signatures from sensing techniques, so even her tenuous grasp of sensory awareness was enough to make it impossible to surprise her when she was paying attention.

Her teacher took the rear, the most likely location for a good ambush to strike. Of course, if they weren't good, they would attack from the front. A middling attack would probably come from the side. With her position in the middle of the group, she was relatively ready to respond to any mediocre opponents.

And were they ever mediocre. Their ambush took place along a long stretch of straight road two lanes wide-plenty of room to move- with little cover. She sighed and tried not to face-palm in embarrassment that her first real combat experience was with a bunch of dorks hiding behind bushes. They attempted to stand up at once and menace the group, the leader growling out his terms (hand over your money and no one gets hurt, yadda yadda). Kakashi ended that quickly with a casually tossed kunai to the forehead. As the man stupidly fell over, cross eyed, his companions rushed the group.

It was very quick. Her teacher seemed to want it to be a learning experience- he kept his one visible eye on her fights while he half-heartedly kept four of the amateur bandits away from their clients. They didn't seem enthusiastic about fighting him- they doubtlessly hadn't expected shinobi. "None of these are going to have a bounty worth collecting," he called mildly. "Go on, that one looks easy." He gently batted a man holding a long, chipped blade in her direction. He looked a bit offended.  
'It's like a mama cat teaching a kitten to hunt…'

Despite how ludicrous the situation seemed, the combination of rote taijutsu and the ingrained need to follow her sensei's orders got her through the fight. She easily crushed her first opponent's trachea, outright surprised when he didn't block the beginner's move and fell, dead. 'That was easy. Should it be this easy?' She turned at the sound of furious screaming and slipped under the sword that tried to gut her.

Aiko didn't have to think about the movements that had her plant a fist into his gut, swing him over her shoulder and then bring the man to the ground and force him into a submission hold in less than two seconds. She pushed his wrists all the way up to his shoulder blades held criss-cross and crouched with one foot firmly on his lower back. A moment later she realized her mistake- that gave her time to think, and she didn't know that she could finish him when he couldn't fight back. She sat frozen, holding his arms twisted up behind his back in a way that had to hurt for someone who didn't have the flexibility of a shinobi. If she'd been alone, one of the other seven original attackers might have finished her while she was stunned.

Kakashi, long since finished, crouched at her side. "All right there?"

"Hai, sensei. What… what should I do?" She jerked her head at the one survivor, who only now seemed to realize the sounds of fighting had died down. He began shrieking something incomprehensible, eyes wide with terror.

Kakashi didn't appear to have sympathy. "Why don't you go assure our clients that everything is fine? I'll finish up here." He firmly pressed a hand on the back of the restrained bandit's neck, forcing him into stillness. Aiko stumbled away, suddenly feeling sick. A horrible snapping sound filled the air behind her, but she didn't turn to look. All she wanted to look at was her hands. She stared with a terrible focus. They looked like they always did. Less than two minutes ago, she'd killed a man with them as easily as she used them to eat rice. She wasn't even sweating.

'It's not supposed to be that easy.' She pressed her hands to her chest, trying to stop the shaking. That had probably not even been twenty pounds of force. She'd gotten harder hits from Neji in the academy. How was a grown man so fragile?  
'Don't be stupid,' she thought fiercely, suddenly angry with herself. 'You knew what you were getting into. Shinobi kill people. And they would have killed our clients if we weren't here.' She knew damn well that shinobi got some morally dubious orders, but this wasn't one of them. This was protecting people. That's different. While her teacher took care of the –mess, took care of the mess, she did her best to assure everyone that everything was under control and that they would be able to start moving again soon.

Somehow, it was hard to convince herself that everything was normal. None of the civilians seemed outraged or disgusted that she'd killed a man in front of them- a few of them nodded at her approvingly, and one woman even thanked her, the aunt escorting the group of teenagers who had shucked her veneer of respectability like a second skin when they left town. She seemed somehow diminished and paler without pins in her hair or slick red lipstain. Aiko nodded dully.

"It's nasty business," she rasped, fingers searching for one of the cigarettes she'd run out of days ago. "But you showed them, eh sweetheart?"

________________________________________

Aiko separated from her teacher at the village gates. He sent her home- they'd do the proper de-briefing sometime soon, after he'd had a chance to submit the mission report and it was filed with the mission desk.

She didn't go straight home. Aiko wandered the streets for a while, not really thinking until she realized she was outside the civilian petstore.

One slim hand with short fingers just losing their baby pudge patted the thin fold of bills she'd received as payment for her mission. She couldn't actually feel them through the fabric of her holster, but knowing they were there was enough. In relatively quick time, she found the most ridiculous, fluffy cat in the whole store- a confectionary affair of an animal with soft black fur, delicate paws, and unnerving green eyes. She probably looked absolutely strange walking down the street with dusty leggings, a bulging knapsack and an armful of protesting kitty, but she was feeling the need for a hug. She hadn't dared ask her teacher for one, she couldn't tell her baby brother she'd killed a man and she had no one else, so giving hugs was going to have to substitute getting them.

"Smaug," she said abruptly to a cat who didn't seem to care, doing his level best to escape with half the skin on her chest while she struggled with the doorknob of her apartment. "You're Smaug."

The dragon cat didn't care one way or another about his new name.

________________________________________

Naruto loved Smaug. Smaug didn't love Naruto. Smaug did his level best to assassinate both children until Naruto decided to win feline love with food. She let him feed the cat takeout ramen. Apparently Iruka had started taking him out to Ichiraku while she was gone. The babble washed over her like foamy sea water, a comforting undulation of white noise syllables without meaning. He'd beat Kiba in a spar. Sakura had snapped and challenged Ami to a spar and won, but got her very first detention. A girl had been dropped from the class. Sasuke was still a bastard. Mizuki-sensei was still a bastard. Neji was still a bastard but he hadn't been seen since graduation. He was going to be the Hokage one day.

Over the next few days, she patched together a new normal that started with three lunches instead of two- one for the spoiled cat, who had decided he would tolerate her as a live-in servant and followed her around town to her morning practice, getting dust on his coat. Every day she returned him to the apartment, picked up her lunch and opened his, met Kakashi for training, went home for a shower or went to the onsen to listen to the conversation of strangers, then went home for dinner or went out with Naruto and sometimes Ino and a couple of time Kiba joined the two of them, giving Aiko strange glances all the while.  
After her second successful C-class mission, she didn't get D-class missions anymore. Technically she had a B-class on her record from tagging along when Kakashi caught that prospective missing nin, so she looked pretty good on paper.

To keep up with the fact that she'd be in more combat situations, her teacher drilled her mercilessly on taijutsu and forced her to perfect the water jutsu she knew, as well as some tactics for using them together. Once that was done, he taught her first real offensive water skill- something she likened to a spray of bullets. Depending on the speed and chakra she used, they could either punch holes in flesh or just knock someone over.

Her teacher had stared at her when she'd mastered it on the second try with something like nostalgia. He wasn't entirely surprised, however. It didn't require control or finesse so much as it did enthusiasm.

That she had in spades. Aiko had gotten her first real taste of shinobi life. If she was going to make anything better, she needed to work hard and fast.

Changing the course of a world (or at least a continent) wasn't work for amateurs.  
________________________________________  
Chapter Word Total: 5,326  
Story Word Total: 45,560  
That's the end of that- I'm considering the November writing challenge done. Aiko has come to the important conclusions she's been avoiding, so it's a good place to end.  
I am, however, going to continue this. Any strong feeling about whether it should be as a separate story or as a next arc in the same story should be submitted via review- I have justifications for both options but would like to hear what others think, since I fly beta-less. I'm considering doing a time-skip of about a year to Naruto's graduation, in either case.


	9. Chapter Nine

Arc Two  
________________________________________

"Aiko, Aiko! Oneesan!" Naruto waved the blue fabric above his head, pushing his way through the students milling around outside. He barreled directly into her with force that would have knocked over a lesser pre-teen. Some of his now-former classmates gave him strange looks. Students dropped out of the Academy all the time. Since she'd been out for two whole years, most of her former classmates had probably forgotten she ever attended.

Indulgently, Aiko hugged her otouto for all she was worth, trying to focus on him and not all the soggy-looking student glaring in his direction. Sometimes his hyperactivity made her tired, but since today was his day of triumph she was willing to let it slide. He'd earned his headband, although not in the way she'd half expected.

She'd spent a long time trying to make up her mind about letting his graduation go according to 'plan'. The thought of her brother failing and being tricked by Mizuki-bastard was really unappealing. The thought of letting him be hurt in that way made her heart ache, even if she knew it would strengthen his fledgling bond with Iruka-sensei.

In the end, she didn't have to make a decision. Her otouto had come to her with watery blue eyes and a request to help him practice his jutsu so he could graduate, and she bent over backwards to accommodate. She knew perfectly well what the problem was- he had too much chakra and too little control to use the tiny smidge of spiritual power required for a standard bunshin.

So he wasn't going to use a standard bunshin.

She hadn't used one since she graduated- they were stupid anyways. Unfortunately, Naruto's primary affinity was wind (she reminded him daily for weeks that he'd never be as cool as her after she 'found out' with chakra paper), but he seemed to have some small aptitude for water and the sheer determination to make it work. That tiny bit of talent and his enormous willpower resulted in beautiful water clones.

His ridiculous chakra reserves helped him flood the academy classroom with them. Literally, once they were all dispelled. As he laughingly explained to her over celebratory barbeque, he almost didn't pass because Mizuki was so furious he tried to have him failed for using non-standard bunshin under the premise that he wasn't obeying the letter of the rule.

"But Iruka-sensei sure told him! It was awesome, oneesan." Naruto fidgeted, practically ready to explode out of his seat and bounce off the walls. The bulky man who'd brought them their food eyed him warily.

Aiko gave the man a sharp glare, telling him to fuck off silently. She tilted her head slightly so his eyes were drawn to her headband- visibly marred like only a headband that had seen action could be.

He left.

"nd even if I hadn't had the bunshin at all, I still would have passed because I had that extra credit in projectiles! You were right, oneesan."

"Aren't I always?" She stole a piece of particularly attractive-looking beef off his plate and tried not to laugh at the way he squawked.

"Hey, don't be mean!"

"I'm paying aren't I," she said blandly. It was theoretically a treat- but really, she paid for almost everything. As of today, the small checks Naruto received as an orphan in ninja training would end, but she'd really been paying all the bills with what she earned running missions anyway. It wasn't a problem- despite the fact that she didn't run nearly as many missions as she had when she first became a Genin, C and B class missions paid exponentially better.

Judging by the three fat wallets she had hidden in the apartment, Kakashi was either secretly a millionaire or had some illicit and ungodly expensive habit, like maybe he was currently building a summer home entirely out of diamonds using unicorns and princesses as laborers- nothing else could explain why he was so damn cheap. The man made plenty of money.

Her sensei ran fewer missions without her these days. Once she had figured out that he hadn't been taken off the roster for high level missions, his frequent absences and the days he just didn't show up for training made a lot more sense. She hadn't been cleared for A-class missions, so he ran those with another team, but she was his shadow in everything else.

That had caused no small amount of amusement among the elite Jounin who seemed to know him by sight- the first time that she had toddled out of the village behind him in a matching mask, the couple sitting at the gate had burst out laughing.

"This is my mission face," she'd said blandly, as if that was an answer. It made sense to her- she was terrible at controlling her emotions and expressions. That wasn't appropriate when she was on the clock. In a way, putting on the mask made it easy for her to become another person. She had never explained that to her sensei.

He'd seemed unnerved the first time he saw her in a black cloth mask, but never commented.  
"When do you get your team assignments?" she asked, already knowing.

His expression brightened, the slight against his dinner already forgotten. "First thing tomorrow, 'ttebayo! Hey, hey, do you think I should change my look?" He tugged at his blue t shirt. "This doesn't look very shinobi-ish. I'm a real ninja now, and I should look like one!"

"Fine by me," she agreed easily. Aiko liked playing dress-up. She hadn't changed her look significantly in the past year so much as she'd added identical outfits in different colors. Black, gray and blue were 'mission' colors, and she didn't wear them within the village anymore. It helped her both pack quickly and compartmentalize her life. Her headband had been put on black fabric, and she wore it around her waist almost every day. Today she was in red- a cheery cherry shade.

Her hair, on the other hand, had changed in the past year. That was more because she was bad at cutting it than that she was vain about having long hair. When she wore it in a pony tail, it was just barely long enough to brush the base of her neck. When she felt childish, it made for two adorable spiky pigtails jutting out on either side of her face.

She'd never understand how most ninja seemed to only ever own one outfit at any given point in time. It was gross and depressing.

They loaded Naruto up with several pairs of the standard-issue blue pants (apparently he didn't find them as depressing as she did). Aiko laughed for a while that he had to buy them in a women's small while he pouted and tugged out the incriminating tags. He located long-sleeved blue shirts that matched. Just when she was starting to think she had somehow warped him into an incredibly boring person, he gleefully snatched short sleeved shirts in orange, yellow, and green and then started pawing through hilariously oversized sunglasses. She put a stop to the last part, but couldn't bear to tell him he couldn't replace his orange goggles. They were adorable, frankly.

"Oh crap, I forgot to feed the dragon." Aiko stopped and gaped at her brother. So did the rather disturbed-looking old lady who had been glaring disdainfully at him when he said it, turning pale and hobbling away.

"How could you, Naruto? That's terrible! Poor kitty cat."

Said cat seemed to agree. He gave Naruto the long, slow look that usually meant he was going to try to smother Naruto in his sleep by laying on his face sometime in the night. In apology, Aiko filled up a short bowl with whipped cream from a can and sprinkled it with catnip. He was a little kinder when he was high. Some days, she wished Smaug was a nin-cat so she could teach him to breathe fire. Alas, he was just a particularly angry house cat.

________________________________________

"That's fucking ridiculous," Sarutobi Asuma complained through a mouthful of smoke. "That team is stacked." His female companion grabbed his cigarette right out of his mouth and dropped it, crushing it under her heel. He stared at her slack-jawed, feeling more than a little betrayed. The civilian secretary, on the other hand, outright shrieked. No one paid her any mind.

"What do you have to complain about?" Kurenai nudged him companionably, smiling a little at his expression. "You have a dream team, too. Ino-Shika-Cho? You really got a nice set-up and the top kunoichi of the year. You'll love it." Her expression softened into a full smile, red eyes sparkling. "Isn't it so exciting? Our first genin teams! I've been waiting for this since I became a Chuunin."

"Goody," Asuma muttered, not remotely excited about having a genin team. He'd been avoiding the duty for years. Jounin-level shinobi who were considered stable enough to train children were in pretty short supply (and the criteria for 'stable enough to teach' were frighteningly vague). The assignment wasn't as flattering as Kurenai seemed to think it was, even if they had been gifted with the crème de la crème.

No point in bursting her bubble, though. She'd wise up on her own- or maybe she really would like the duty as much as she hoped. He wished her the best, really he did. But Kakashi…

"I just don't get that bastard. He doesn't even like kids. I don't get why Hokage-sama (the last word was tinged with more than a bit of irony) is letting him have his cake and eat it too."

Kurenai shrugged philosophically. "Do you really want a team with the angriest little Uchiha" (an unofficial and rather unkind nomme de plume gifted by superiors) "and a jinchuuriki?"

"Not when you phrase it like that," he muttered. "But when you remember that the angry little Uchiha is the top student of the year and that this'll complete his set of Namikaze kids…"

Anko swooped out of absolutely nowhere with a creepy grin and the smell of scales (which seemed to be her main form of transport, followed closely by 'materializing out of the darkness' and 'already waiting in your closet when you go to look for linens') and punched his shoulder, hard. "Oh sorry, didn't see you there." The ridiculous lie clearly baffled both of the Jounin she'd interrupted, which the new special Jounin seemed to take as a compliment. She grinned fiercely, and poked his cheek with a dango stick. "Gotta watch what you say," she warned cheerily. "You're going to be spending a lot of time around ankle biters. It'd fuckin' suck if you polluted their precious little brains with things they shouldn't know, wouldn't it?"

Kurenai's brain nearly shut down at that bit of hypocrisy. "Anko-san, what are you doing here?" she asked wearily. The younger woman beamed.

"I get to fail my very first genin team! Glad I'm not one of you fuckers. I'd cry a river of blood if I were asked to train three midgets to show up our allies at Chuunin exams in three months."

A shiver went up Kurenai's spine. 'Hokage-sama was willing to risk letting Mitarashi-san have a genin team? That's just frightening. Maybe this assignment isn't such an honor after all.'

Eager to go, as soon as Iruka and Mizuki stepped out of the classroom and asked them to gather their short people one at a time, Kurenai gave a tiny squeal, straightened her spine, and walked in. A few minutes later she walked back out with three ankle-biters, one of whom was gazing up at her adoringly with big pale eyes.

Asuma sighed. "Time to face the music, I guess." He raised an eyebrow at Anko. "You want to go first?"

She waved him off. "Nah. I need a moment to get all the laughter out before I crush their hopes and dreams. Or worse, get stuck with a team of little shits." She shuddered.

"Suit yourself," he mumbled, wishing he had another cigarette or reason to put this off. With a sigh, he stuck his head in. "Team Ten? Follow me." He ambled down the hall, looking as if he'd rather be dead. A short scuffled erupted inside the classroom, and then the door banged all the way open. A blonde girl dressed in a ridiculous purple outfit strutted out, followed by an anxious Akimichi (you could always pick them out of a crowd) and with her nails digging so far into the wrist of the other boy behind her that he was outright hustling to keep up. Anko howled with laughter, not minding when the chit huffed and turned her nose up.

"Oh, that's cute." She propped the door open. "Team six? Get your skinny asses out to the playground, stat." Her voice dropped an entire octave into something shockingly sinister. "We're going to play a little game."

________________________________________

"I can't believe you did this to me," Naruto said flatly, staring straight up at the ceiling. Sasuke gave him a baffled look. "You knew, the whole time. I thought you loved me."

Sasuke inched away.

The strange girl who had showed up with their new sensei and claimed to be his side-kick snickered, fiddling with her copper ponytail. Sakura put a hand to her own long hair, smirking in a self-satisfied way. Sasuke tried not to think about what was going on in her head. That way only leads to madness. The stranger teased, "of course I love you. That's why I knew just how hilarious your face would be after Sensei made you wait a million years."

Uncharacteristically, Sasuke interjected, both relieved that his new teammate wasn't hitting on him and eager for information about the strange man who had made him wait. "Is that man always so late?" His face twisted in a grimace when she nodded.

"Come on, you guys." She made a shoo-ing motion. "Didn't you hear him say to meet on the roof?"

The blonde idiot rolled his eyes. "You're not there either, so don't nag."

"Aren't I?" she asked noncommittally. The girl gave a sharp little smile that didn't quite reach her eyes- and then Naruto cursed, moving backwards in slow motion, but not fast enough to escape the minor explosion as the girl dissolved into water.  
Sasuke rolled his eyes at his now-soaking teammate and took off for the stairs. "Idiot." Left unsaid was that he hadn't noticed the girl was a water clone either. Sakura took a moment to squeal over just how cool he was before falling in behind him. "Hey, wait up you guys!" Naruto sneezed, trying to squeeze excess water out of his shirt.

Up on the rooftop, Aiko grabbed her teacher's wrist with her left to hold up his hand and gave it a high-five with her own. "Excellent work!" He docilely let her arrange his arm as she wanted, limp. Kakashi had recently discovered that one of the best ways to deal with children was to deny them a reaction. If he pretended to be dead or in a sudden coma, they got bored and went away (to call for help sometimes. That was always funny). It never worked for long on Aiko, but then again it was hard to escape an apprentice.

"I bet anything I can manipulate them into passing your test without saying thing about it," she challenged in a sing-song tone, snuggling into his side. He rolled an eye. 'That'd be a miracle.' It seemed like sacrilege that he was going to have to pass this team.

The other three brats toddled up the stairs, the pink-haired girl paying an inordinate amount of attention to the Uchiha's rear end. Kakashi sighed internally, already resigned to his fate. He only had to get these three up to Chuunin level in three months. No big, right?

The blonde one tripped over his own feet and blamed it on a butterfly. Suddenly, Kakashi felt very sorry for himself.  
"Let's do introductions," he said in a purposefully bland voice. Do not engage more than necessary. No eye contact. "You first, pinky pie."

Sakura looked a little uncertain. "Just my name?"

"And any other relevant facts," Aiko chirped. "Things you like, dislike, hope to accomplish. Stuff like that." Her smile didn't reach her eyes.

The other girl gave her a grateful smile. It was a fake one as well. "Right! I'm Haruno Sakura. I like…" her eyes trailed over to Sasuke. He froze like a deer in front of a predator. She giggled, turning pink. "I like lots of things, and certain people! I don't like Ino or…" she trailed off, eying Aiko and apparently re-thinking whatever she'd been about to say. "ramen. My dream… well. I can't say."

Judging by the way she honed in on the poor brunette like a hungry wolf might a bleeding rabbit, Kakashi didn't think he needed her to say it aloud.

'This one is going to be a terror to teach. It might be kinder to pressure her into leaving the program and ask the Hokage for a replacement. She might actually tie him up in her closet so he can never leave her. Seems the type.'

While the sole adult was processing that and deciding to carefully avoid teaching her anything dangerous until she was less obviously unstable, Naruto gasped theatrically and started to babble something doubtlessly inane about ramen. Unamused, Kakashi pointed at him with his whole hand. "Go."

Naruto's eyes narrowed, but with a brief glance at his sister's amused expression, he resigned himself to it. "Fine. I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I love ramen, my precious people, and I'm going to be the Hokage one day, 'ttebayo!" He stuck his tongue out at Sasuke. "Now you, bastard."

Sasuke twitched, but smoothly introduced himself when prompted. "I don't have many interests or things that I like. I do have an ambition, however." How perfectly droll.

"What's that," Naruto asked, inappropriately invading his teammate's personal space. He probably learned it from his sister, who pulled that kind of thing all the time. The Uchiha batted him away. He'd learn how pointless that was soon enough, Kakashi was sure. They just didn't give up.

"To kill a certain man and restore my clan." He stared forward darkly. If he'd been less experienced, the Copy nin might have thought he didn't care about his peers' reaction. But he knew better, especially since the kid had brought it up unprompted. He was looking for a reaction to his declaration that he already wanted to kill someone. His bright little apprentice seemed to catch that as well, if her mischievous expression was anything to go by. So…

"Your dream is to be a dad?" Aiko asked, a curious smile tugging at her lips. "That's wonderful." Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed. Sakura giggled, a hand creeping up to her face.

"Moving on," Kakashi interrupted, wanting to get this over with. "Hatake Kakashi, your Jounin instructor. That is," he chuckled, "assuming you pass the test."

"We just passed the test!" Naruto informed. "No way!"

"That was just a test to weed out those who had no chance at becoming Genin. It's funny, you see. Only one third of prospective students that graduate actually get to be Genin."

Their horrified faces were adorable. He tried not to enjoy frightening small children more than he absolutely had to. "Meet me tomorrow at training ground se-"

"We didn't finish introductions," Sasuke pointed out, glaring a little at Aiko. "Who are you?"

There was an awkward silence.

"Um, Sasuke-san," she began, rubbing at her neck, "I was in your class for two years. I'm Naruto's older sister, remember? Uzumaki Aiko?"

"No. You must not have been interesting."

Naruto turned bright red. "Hey bastard, you can't just say-"

"As I was saying, meet at training ground seven at seven am for your test to see if any of you deserve to be genin," Kakashi interrupted crossly. "One last piece of advice? If I were you, I wouldn't eat breakfast. You'll probably just throw it all up." With that, he was gone.

"He's such a drama queen." Aiko stood up. "Come on kittens, let's go for lunch and get to know each other as a team. My treat." She reached out and snagged an arm from each boy, apparently trusting Sakura to follow. Naruto was resigned to being dragged around like an especially large doll, but Sasuke made the mistake of struggling. "It wasn't a request. We're going to be the best of friends, you and I," she said darkly.

From his perch a few buildings away, Kakashi observed his new team (and wasn't that a horrible thought, he'd only ever had one team and now he had a team again and not just co-workers or an apprentice, a team, a whole flock of short people depending on him for protection and learning). The Uchiha boy was attempting to slide out of Aiko's grasp. Kakashi couldn't see what she said, but whatever it was caused the boy to go limp for just a moment. That was all she needed. No matter how intense he was, Sasuke was just a little boy, a freshly minted genin. Aiko was technically a Chuunin, but she could probably give weaker Jounin runs for their money.

Her lack of promotion to Jounin had been a very intentional move, for multiple reasons. On Kakashi's part, it was because an apprentice was only really tied to their sensei as a lower level nin. Despite being emotionally constipated, he really did want to protect Sensei's children. The best way he knew to do that was to teach them to be strong enough to take care of themselves when he wasn't there- but be there anyways so they didn't have to be.

Luckily, he wasn't the only one invested in the apprenticeship. The Council had some bizarre idea that their top active nin was going to pass down all his specialties to her. Well. That was the traditional meaning of an apprenticeship, but that didn't mean he'd exactly given away the Hatake summoning contract yet. As long as he hadn't taught her his unique skill set or those of her parents that only their genetic relations could use (hello, previously lost whirlpool jutsu and one-man Hirashin) then there was no way they'd take the kid away from him.

The Council had their fingers in all sorts of pies these days, really.

The Copy-nin frowned, trying not to think about the bizarre pressure the Council was exerting on teams 7, 8, and 10 to push their rookies into the Chuunin exams being held in Konoha in three months. In one way, he understood. The teams had been stacked with the best of the best, and it would be an incredibly effective propaganda victory to completely dominate the exams while putting the children that the council had so many hopes for in as little danger as possible.

Most of this group- well, the next exams were in Iwa and then Cloud. Konoha was going to be sending exactly zero genin with bloodlines there, which would probably hurt their juggernaut standing as the most powerful village. If they were still riding on a high from the upcoming exams, however, that lack wouldn't be as obvious.

Kakashi stared glumly forward, trying to work up the will to read his beloved books. There was absolutely no way he'd be allowed to fail this team, not even the pink-haired tagalong. He was going to be stuck looking at a four-and-a-half foot tall (exaggeration, but the point still stood) mob of painful memories every day until they left, at which point he was going to have to worry about them. There was really no winning with this.

________________________________________

Sakura settled into the booth first, praying Sasuke-kun would sit next to her. The other girl –who was wearing her black forehead protector around her waist as if to emphasize how small it was, what a bitch- slid in instead, which was the second-best outcome. Sakura didn't want to have to sit next to that idiot Naruto, and she definitely didn't want the other girl getting up close to Sasuke-kun. She could hardly believe that was the girl who'd graduated two years ago. She looked like a real ninja in her plain green tunic, matching pants and knee high black boots. Even worse, she looked older than twelve. Sakura glumly adjusted her top discreetly, trying to look voluptuous. It wasn't working.

In the aisle in front of their booth, the two boys looked somewhere between constipated and combative, determinedly not staring each other down and not sitting down first.

"Sasuke, you'll want to sit first. Naruto has way too much energy to be trapped between a person and a wall. He'll make you get up a hundred times."

While Naruto sputtered and denied the accusation, the dark-haired boy gave up and sat down, sliding until he was pressed up against the wall. He looked as though he was being tortured, but Naruto did as well, sitting on the very edge. Sakura cleared her throat.

"So, ah… Why are you here, Aiko-san? Genin teams are made of cells of three, aren't they?"

"Correct," Aiko said blandly. "I'm a Chuunin. Do you know how apprenticeships work?" When no one volunteered information, she continued in a matter-of-fact way.

"You three are in a genin cell, but I never was. Instead, I apprenticed under Kakashi-sensei because he has a very specific skill set that the Hokage wanted him to pass on to me. That bond isn't severed until one of two things happen- both parties want it over, or the apprentice reaches Jounin levels. Neither has happened, since I still have more to learn from Kakashi-sensei. But then come along you three-" She gestured expansively. "Who for one reason or another, the council committee feels belong under Kakashi-sensei's mentorship. I'm not supposed to tell you this, but there's a rush order on you three. Hokage-sama wants you all either promoted to Chuunin or at least ready to make a bid for promotion in three months."

'If that doesn't get their skinny asses in gear, nothing will.' Aiko kept her face carefully impassive. She had an unfair advantage in manipulating these kids. She didn't feel guilty for using it.

The three genin's faces were a study in shock. They quickly transitioned to various expressions of pride or confusion, but no one said anything before the waitress plodded over unenthusiastically for their drink orders.

After the interruption, it was Sakura who brought up the old topic. "Isn't that really unusual? I thought people sometimes spent years as genin."

"We're just that awesome!" Naruto grinned wide enough that Aiko's cheeks hurt just looking at him. She solved the problem by flicking a senbon at him, letting it sink into the vinyl of the booth back a half inch from his ear.

"It's rude to shout at the table," she said mildly. "Konoha is hosting Chuunin exams in three months. They're kind of a big deal for the village in that they're a show of strength to prospective clients. The idea is that if we can crush the competition with rookie contestants, we'll be showing that our brand shiny new genin are better than their experienced ones. You three have been picked as a group that has exceptional potential as a team."

'Keyword being as a team. Pay attention, kiddies. Remember this for the test tomorrow.'

Sasuke seemed to flinch, carefully not looking at either of his 'teammates' and scowling.

"Anyway. Since I'm his apprentice, I think I'm getting screwed into doing his grunt work. With that in mind, you'll all three be doing my morning training. Ah, yes, thank you." She took the glass of apple juice the waitress had brought, swigging it down in an unladylike manner. Sakura tried not to grimace.

"Tell me about yourself, Sakura. Not the kind of things you said up there. Your strengths and weaknesses- in other words, what you can contribute to the team and what the team is going to do for you to make the group better." She eyed the boys. "You two think about your answers to the same question. Anyone who claims they have no weaknesses is going to get laughed all the fucking way to Suna."

'If they don't figure out to use teamwork tomorrow, I will personally beat them all up. I'm doing all the work for them.'  
________________________________________

Omake:

"eam Seven will be Haruno, Sakura; Uchiha, Sasuke; and Uzumaki, Naruto. Your Jounin sensei…" pause. A whispered 'is that right? Huh. Poor bastards.' Then, "Hatake Kakashi."

"YES!" Naruto leapt out of his seat and directly onto the desk, flowing effortlessly into an impromptu dance. "This is great! Except that you're involved." He pointed directly at Sasuke, who looked more than a bit disgruntled. "You're terrible. In fact, are you certain I can't make a trade for like, Shino or something?"

"No trades," Iruka said dryly. "Sit down and shut up, Naruto. Moving on. Team Eight…"

Kiba scowled at Sasuke, who lowered his eyebrows imperceptibly in confusion. He didn't know why dog-face would be pissed at him. Had he wanted to get on a team with Naruto? It figured. Loud, mediocre idiots should probably stick together.

Akamaru whimpered sympathetically and licked his human friend's face. "Thanks buddy," he sighed. Hinata and Shino seemed alright (the latter both preening at being requested and incredibly grateful to have escaped being placed with Naruto). Kiba had been hoping for a different assignment, though. Forget trading Shino- he'd trade places with Sasuke in a minute. Naruto was kind of loud and annoying, but it would be worth it. His sister was freaking hot.

________________________________________  
I tried to make it seem like Aiko was a genin on their team for as long as possible, just to mess with you. Consider this your warning: I can be a troll. Non-canon team is non-canon! Basically, I shot some things about team arrangement with my AU laser gun. Pew pew.


	10. Elucidation

'I hope they're enjoying their last day of freedom. What a waste of a morning.'

The girl frowned down at the three prospective genin slumping around in various poses of disinterest and inaction. She felt like a creeper and had to wonder- did Kakashi ever do this to her? It seemed like him, to watch from a distance to observe what she did when she thought she was unseen. She had been curious about how accurate her knowledge of the relationship between Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke was. After all, it was entirely possible that she had changed things by changing Naruto. It didn't look like it.

From her tree-top position under a mild genjutsu, Aiko couldn't hear what little conversation was going on between the three genin, but she probably didn't need to.

Somewhat surprisingly, Naruto had arrived first. Her otouto had paced for a while, jogging around the training field to make sure that he really was the only one there before settling down into the grass about fifteen feet from the lacquered wooden bridge over the small stream that bisected their training ground. He must wake earlier than she'd thought, or maybe it was first day jitters that had him out of bed at six forty. It was cute how he actually knew Kakashi was chronically late, but still thought there was a possibility that he would show up on time for their test.

Sasuke was next to show up, only about two minutes later. Even from her perch Aiko could see that he went a little bug-eyed at seeing Naruto had beat him there. The brunette sullenly (or was it meant to be impassively?) leant against the side of the red bridge to wait.

Her otouto still didn't have much of an attention span- after the clear disappointment of seeing Sasuke instead of Sakura he was looking longingly off into the trees, but clearly restrained himself.

That girl he always wanted to impress pranced in on a veritable cloud of batted eyelashes and floating perfume five minutes before the time Kakashi had given them. Aiko tried not to sigh, rubbing her face with one hand while her silly otouto went ga-ga, guilelessly complimenting her dress (why hadn't anyone ever told her it was unsuitable?). The pink-haired girl paid him no mind, honing in on Sasuke in a way that definitely wasn't subtle. The poor boy cringed when she inched closer and closer.  
Sakura probably wasn't a bad kid, aside from the obsessive parts of her personality and her quick temper. She was just so… so… well, so civilian that it hurt a little to look at her. Aiko had worked hard to distance herself from that lifestyle and perspective, so seeing a fellow kunoichi who hadn't yet caught on made it difficult to bite her tongue. That didn't even account for the fact that she heard from Naruto about every inane thing the froofy little chit did ad nauseaum.

Sasuke seemed sort of sensibly on guard around her. That was a good judgment on his behalf- despite her painfully innocuous presentation, there was something distinctly predatory about the girl. The core of an effective (if crazy) kunoichi was there.  
That potential was probably more worrying than encouraging for her brunette teammate. She had designs on his flesh.  
On time, Aiko flickered to the center of their little group, posing stretched-out on the ground so that when they noticed she was there, they would question just how long she had been behind them. Sasuke was the first to notice her. "Good morning, kittens," she said calmly. "Sleep well?"

Sakura was the only one who engaged in polite banter, eying her up in a distinctly unfriendly manner. 'This girl isn't nearly as subtle as she thinks she is.'

She gave a long stretch, feeling the muscles in her back and shoulders pull pleasantly, and yawned before flipping to her feet. "On your feet, Naruto. I'm not going to be sticking around for your test because I've got places to be, so let's make this quick. We're doing stretches. Sakura, tell me why."

"To prevent muscle injury later during a workout," the girl said briskly, glancing away from her precious love interest/victim for a moment to make eye contact. Aiko pretended she didn't hear the girl's stomach rumble. It was in good company- apparently none of them had eaten. They'd soon learn not to trust stupid orders. That was Kakashi's lesson to teach, however, not hers. She'd settle for starting their physical conditioning.

"Good. We're doing something called a sun salutation. Right now it's just a series of stretches, but eventually it'll be a meditation tool for you three. Sasuke, why is meditation a ninja skill?"

The three pre-teens copied her movements easily, sinking into the grass. "To increase available chakra by using spiritual energy," he replied, monotone and dignified despite being ass-up. Kid took himself too seriously. Sakura was torn between sucking her stomach in and staring, wide-eyed at the view. Aiko slid into downward-facing-dog and the three followed her. At least Naruto seemed solely focused on the salutation.

By the time Kakashi deigned to show up, she had the kids doing rounds of sit ups and push-ups. Sakura was red-faced and trembling, clearly on the verge of collapse. Sasuke was doing the best and still going strong. He was physically the strongest, it seemed. He had probably earned that top ranking. Even with his foxy advantage, Naruto got tired but easily recuperated one muscle group while he had switched to the other.

In the back of her mind, she was already making plans as to how to direct their training- she knew Kakashi well enough to be sure that he would think his 'hands-off' method would suffice, which left it up to her. It was in her benefit as well- now that he had a full-time team, Kakashi had pretty much been grounded from his real missions. That left her either stuck in the village for training or on loan to other Chuunin teams. That prospect didn't exactly make her shiver with delight.

Once the kittens were strong enough to take out, she'd get to do better missions again. Even fresh genin could be relatively safe on C missions with a Jounin and a Chuunin.

"Today you will be doing survival training," Kakashi announced with a grim theatricality. That man got far too much joy out of tormenting children. He set three store-bought bento on the ground. "I hope you're not hungry, because anyone who does poorly at today's training won't be getting lunch."

Aiko tried not to ruin the atmosphere by laughing at their faces. They could probably still hear her through the hand over her mouth, but they seemed momentarily broken by just how much of a dick their sensei was. 'Welcome to my world.' She really loved Kakashi-sensei. He was just such an awkward, abrasive weirdo.

"This is your goal."

He held up two bells. Aiko eyed them with interest- this was the first time he'd pulled out the famous bells around her, and she hadn't had reason to 'know' of them before. He'd told her he would be testing them to see if they could work as a team, but no more details than that. She wasn't going to be doing all that much training with them- they weren't really on the same level, and she was more of a more experienced peer than a mentor.

"Your objective is to get these from me within one hour." He pulled an alarm clock out of nowhere and set it down on railing of the bridge. "Use any means necessary to get them. You have no chance to defeat me unless you come at me with intent to kill."  
The bridge was totally silent except for the whisper of wind through the grass.

"But sensei!" Sakura protested. "There's only two bells!"

The two boys started, as if they hadn't noticed before she brought it to their attention. Kakashi chuckled in a way that Aiko knew was fake as all hell.

"That's right. I suppose that means one of you isn't going to pass, doesn't it?"

The three genin eyed each other, as if weighing up and dismissing each other. Sakura looked both inordinately self-satisfied beyond what her abilities merited and eager to get next to Sasuke. Naruto looked directly at the pink-haired girl with longing. Sasuke looked confident but anxious to get away from his peers, possibly by taking two bells.

"Begin now."

All three genin leapt away into the underbrush. "You're a mean man," she muttered quietly, trying not to smile. Her teacher shrugged, one hand slowly drifting towards his hip pouch. She hurried away, not wanting to interfere. They had to be able to do this on their own and she didn't want to be tempted to help.

________________________________________

Her bet that training ground ten would still be unoccupied at 10:40 am was a good one. 'Lazy bastards,' she snickered. Despite the fact that it was assigned to team ten, there was no reason she couldn't use it when they weren't around. 'Poor Ino… Her team assignment is pretty shitty.' Aiko walked onto the wide, flat river that was the reason she preferred this area and took a moment to warm up again by running through katas on the water surface.

Team ten had been assembled on the basis of 'nepotism' and the fanciful imagining that children were basically smaller copies of their parents. It was frightfully unfair to all three kids. Chouji and Shikamaru were relatively compatible personalities, (though not necessarily in the way teammates should be in order to push each other) but Ino wanted so much more than either of them did. Despite her vain affectations and flippancy, she really was a serious little kunoichi. Her peers were ninja because their parents wanted them to be, not because of any drive.

Who cared that their family jutsu worked well together?

That kind of unimaginative thinking was more limiting than anything. Family jutsu were great and all, but making that the cornerstone of a ninja's arsenal was absolutely idiotic. A ninja's greatest advantage came through being unexpected, whether that be through literal stealth or through being unpredictable. When you had an entire clan of blonde people who used the same two jutsu and pretty much only those two jutsu… It was stupidly easy for one strategy to be used against multiple Yamanaka or Akimichi or whatever.

'I'll never understand people.'

Of course, they were trying to do something similar with her. The Hokage must look at her and see a pale version of the Bloody Habanera- with her reddish hair, relatively weak chakra chains, hand-me-down sealing knowledge passed down through Kakashi, and a water affinity, she had all the components to be a half-assed version of her mother.

'Goody', she grumbled. That wasn't exactly her life plan, but that didn't mean she was refusing to pick up what Kakashi wanted to pass on of Kushina's jutsu (he'd never said that was the case, of course. Officially, she had no idea who her parents were. That was fine by Aiko. She didn't know that she could pretend to think of Minato and Kushina as her parents- they were Naruto's parents, but she had never been their baby).

Sometimes all Kakashi had to pass on was a mess of vague descriptions and unhelpful hand movements- he couldn't perform many of Kushina's techniques, so he was really helping her re-invent them more than he was teaching them.

She had been working on chakra chains for months, and it was starting to seem like she was just not cut out for the large-scale stuff Kushina had been able to do. She could restrain a few human opponents, but Kushina had restrained the rampaging Nine-Tails on her death bed. Aiko was under no illusions that she had that kind of talent.

She did pretty well with much thinner constructions, however. They were more like chakra ribbons than anything. She used them to clean the apartment without getting off the couch.

At least she had something seriously bad ass going on with her water affinity. She'd mastered all the jutsu Kakashi could give her- but boring, predictable jutsu weren't the hallmark of water mastery. Water was flexible and adaptive- by infusing it with her chakra and enforcing her will upon it she could make it do almost anything. It was more like an extension of her body than a weapon- like what the chakra chains had been for Kushina.

Best of all… She was pretty sure she now understood the logic behind Kushina's ancestors declaring themselves the Whirlpool.  
Mastery of water was like being a pagan god, a chaotic mass of incomprehensible fury that answered to nothing.

With arm movements that weren't strictly necessary but helped her concentration, Aiko was suddenly at the center of a pillar of water cycling furiously and sucking up everything from the waterbed. She gritted her teeth and pushed, forcing it higher and wider, surrounding herself with a maelstrom that would be impenetrable by any conventional means. The strain on her reserves was negligible by now once she had it moving, momentum and her position as the centripetal force made maintaining speed child's play.

On a river, she was a minor god. The Uzumaki of old in the land of Whirlpool must have been terrifying in their watery homes. Unfortunately, there was a good reason they'd lived there and not in Konoha.

Both arms swung down and spread out, forcing the tornado of water to widen at the bottom and explode, the water at the top funneling out to follow the path of the escaping fluid at the bottom and shoot in a straight line that cut all the way through the short brush and a few inches into the trees along the river bank. She let it go, slipping to the ground in a minor flood that flowed and dripped back into the river basin.

She could only use this kind of water play when she had a large amount of water available. That meant that if she couldn't fight on or near the water, she had to create it herself through conventional water jutsu, which burnt through her reserves painfully quickly.

The pre-teen sighed, using shunshin to perch on a low-hanging tree branch to avoid getting muddy. (For a Leaf nin, standing on a Hashirama tree was about as natural as using the ground).

"Time for the boring stuff." Her teacher had demonstrated the first non-water elemental technique he wanted her to learn just last week. It wasn't going well, in no small part because lightning wasn't even her secondary affinity. That was probably air. In any case, changing her elemental alignment to even use pure lightning chakra took far too long for it to be useful in a fight.  
The first time, it had taken her nearly half an hour to figure it out. After that she improved exponentially, but the six minutes she now clocked before she could spit lightning was still far too long. Her teacher could whip out an attack in less than a second. As a Chuunin, she would have been delighted with a five second time to switch her alignment after using water, but ten seconds was the absolute maximum she was going to accept from herself.

The only thing to do…. Was to practice. Again and again. Spit water. Change the direction and qualities of chakra flow in her coils. Spit lightning. Check time- five minutes forty two seconds. Release the chakra so it instantly swirled back to its natural alignment. Use water bullets. Change elemental affinity. Spit lightning. Check time- five minutes thirty eight seconds.

She could fight boredom by varying water attacks, but she only had the one minor lightning jutsu, which didn't help matters.  
After an hour of work she finally broke past the barrier she'd been struggling with and managed to clock under five minutes. Her reserves were half gone, which meant she had to keep working, despite meeting her goal for the day.

It was an incredibly dull and chakra-intensive process. The only good thing about it was that she could stop for the day when she had her coils down to about ten percent- the most she could lose without risking serious injury. The routine had nearly doubled her chakra capacity, so she knew she shouldn't complain. It was just mind-numbing, and her fingers tingled with static electricity for hours after she stopped each day.

"They passed."

Aiko shrieked and jerked backwards, losing her balance in surprise and falling. In her panic, she barely managed to right herself and land on her feet. "Someone needs to put a bell on you, you sneaky bastard." she grumbled. Pointedly, he jingled the two that were hanging from his hip pouch. "Doesn't count, they don't make any sound. I meant a bell you can't silence."

 

His expression indicated that there was no bell he couldn't silence.

"So they figured it out, or they actually got the bells?" Aiko changed the subject. He gave her a supremely condescending look. The girl flushed, feeling the heat creep over her cheeks. It was a dumb question. Still... "Hey, it could happen," she defended. "Weirder things have in the history of the Elemental Nations."

He leapt away, apparently changing his mind about talking to her. She tried to follow, but he lost her on the rooftops with a series of shunshin. Aiko gave a heavy sigh. "Jackass." She checked the time against the position of the sun. "At least I know someone who will tell me all about it."

________________________________________

Naruto fidgeted in his usual seat outside the Hokage's office (it was bolted to the ground and it had his name on it and everything, though it was usually intended for when he was waiting to be yelled at after a prank so that he didn't creatively interpret the order to wait for the Hokage), confused and mildly vexed by being summoned there suddenly. He had planned on visiting the next day anyway, so the old man really should have just waited after Naruto found Iruka-sensei to tell him about how his first day as a ninja had gone.

His perpetually sunny attitude wasn't really flagging, despite the inconvenience. At least he'd have a chance to tell the old man about how awesome he was and that he was a real ninja now!

He'd totally shown up that bastard Sasuke during the bell test. Sure, he had his fancy fire vomit and shuriken attached to wires and-

Naruto cut off that train of thought before he started to feel sad that he couldn't vomit fire. Maybe he'd get the bastard to teach him! It would be the least the bastard could do for him, after Naruto was the one who got them through the test by coming to the brilliant conclusion that the gray-haired bastard had been trying to trick them because he couldn't handle all three of them working together. Kakashi-sensei had even said he was surprised and proud of Naruto for figuring it out and convincing the other two to work together, even though their plan had failed horribly- and he was totally going to look up 'savant' when he got home so he knew what exactly he'd been praised for.

Whatever it was, even Sasuke-bastard had reluctantly agreed, even though he turned his face away and made a funny sound that was almost like a snicker so that Naruto couldn't see how much the admission pained him. Sakura-chan had looked a bit uncertain, but he'd convince her.

The blonde beamed, completely unaware that the Chuunin behind the mission desk was keeping a very close eye on him and scowling. When the door opened and Sarutobi Asuma walked out, cigarette attached to his mouth as firmly as the frown was, the Jounin certainly noticed.

He scowled at the younger man, who jumped a little and looked away. The kid was a bit hyper and undeniably naughty, but that was no excuse to treat him like a criminal. Asuma knew something about the weight of expectation and how much it sucked to be in the public eye, so he felt a little sympathy for the brat.

Plus… the kid was stuck with Hatake. If that wasn't reason to pity him, there was nothing in the world deserving of sympathy. He'd probably end up brainwashed into another masked, passive-aggressive weirdo, like his poor sister who trailed after Hatake like a puppy.

He'd actually checked for a genjutsu the first time he saw the little chit in a mask. His next thought was that it had been some bizarre challenge with Gai, who had recently acquired a little green copy. It appeared to be neither- just fervent admiration from a silly Chuunin for her teacher. If she were a little older, he might have worried. But despite his racy reading tastes, Hatake appeared to be on the straight and narrow. Asuma was glad to see his eccentric comrade seemed to be a genuinely good guy, even if he was cripplingly weird. There had been no small amount of whispered speculation when Hatake had started to walk around town with porn in one hand and a ten-year old girl cheerily hanging off the other arm.

Naruto rushed in past the tall man oblivious to both the interaction with the hostile Chuunin and the sympathy directed at him, bounding to his usual chair in one leap. "Hey, old man! You'll never guess what happened today!"

Despite the unpleasant conversation he'd just had and the unpleasant one he was about to have, Sarutobi Hiruzen couldn't help but smile. "What happened, Naruto-kun?"

He stood, shuffling over to his bookshelf for the information he had prepared for this day. He'd nearly put this meeting off in the excitement of the day- some idiot Chuunin had decided it was the optimal time to turn traitor and break into the archives. He'd have to find a replacement Academy teacher sometime before eight am tomorrow- that man was currently a bit broken in the interrogations center, delusionally claiming that Orochimaru had wanted a scroll. It was just baffling that he'd thought he could get past the ANBU, much less the Hokage himself. But Sarutobi had known that if he put this revelation off past the day he'd promised himself he'd tell Naruto, he would be likely to convince himself Naruto didn't need to know yet.

"My sensei had us do another test to prove we were real ninja like the ones on the stone and I was the one who figured it out because Aiko had said something yesterday that made me think- oh yeah, Aiko is kind of on my team! Isn't that awesome?"  
The Sandaime opened his mouth to reply, but didn't get the words out fast enough.

"And Sakura-chan is on my team too! It's going to be great, I bet she'll like me now that we're real ninja! I wish the bastard wasn't on my team, though, can we do a trade? Or even just have the team be Sakura and me and Aiko, well Kakashi-sensei too I guess. He's so weird but he said I did good! Hey, old man, is he always late? And one more thing- is he as old as he looks because I think he might be on his last leg and any day now he's going to keel o-"

"Naruto-kun, you make an old man feel tired." Hiruzen slumped back into his chair, smiling gently. "I am glad to hear that you did well on your test and that you like your teammates. I'm sure you will grow to like Sasuke-kun and Kakashi-kun as well, given time to get to know them."  
"So… That's a no to trading Sasuke away, then?"

"You're a smart boy, Naruto-kun." The Sandaime ran a wrinkled hand over the book he had retrieved. "I have something I need to talk to you about. Something very important. Now that you're a ninja, you need to know the truth."

________________________________________

The door slammed, uncharacteristically loud. Aiko frowned, looking up from where she'd been checking on cookies and shut the oven. Baking was probably a silly hobby for a ninja, but at least it was easier to hide than binge-drinking or sex addiction. "Naruto?" She pulled off her cupcake shaped mitts (a project she had made badly years ago in a sewing class) and set them on the counter. "Is everything alright?"

Her brother didn't say anything. The bedroom door shut a moment later, and a 'whumph' announced that he had just flopped onto his futon. She frowned, perplexed. That last time she'd seen him, he'd still been riding on the high of his victory. To hear him tell it, he'd singlehandedly figured out the purpose of the bell test and united his teammates against the evil geriatric Cyclops who'd poked his butt. His enthusiasm had only been slightly dampened by the fact that he couldn't find Iruka anywhere to share the news.

When the summons had come and Naruto took off to tell the Hokage about it, he'd been visibly excited at the prospect of retelling his story. Despite the fact that Aiko didn't hide her lack of enthusiasm for him (she was still sure he was an emotionally manipulative old bigot), Naruto quite liked the Hokage. What could have happened that would put him in an uncharacteristically bad mood?

She drifted out to the living room, picking up trash and bringing dirty tea cups to the sink. The books she had on loan from the library were spread over the floor, so she piled them on the table. The twins weren't the best of housekeepers, to be honest.  
An unpleasant thought occurred. She'd stopped Mizuki from telling Naruto that he was a jinchuuriki… When had the Konoha council or whoever been planning to tell him? They couldn't very well send him out into the field not knowing, could they? It was already pretty absurd that they had let him get to the age of twelve without knowing that he held such a terrible burden.  
How would Naruto take that knowledge? The way he was meant to find out had been especially traumatizing, but he'd gotten over it pretty quickly in the manga… Or had he? She had a hard time remembering details, but he might have repressed the emotional reaction and had a lowered self esteem. Then again, he was a different person then. She had changed him just by being here… and that might have affected the way he would cope with stressful knowledge.

Slowly, Aiko walked to the bedroom, pushing the door open slightly. "Naruto?"

He was on his side with his back to the door, face buried in a pillow. She sat beside him, gently running a hand across his shoulders. "Want to talk about it?"

Naruto gave a low keening whine, turning his face slightly so she could see his eyes were puffy and red. "Oh, otouto." She gathered him into a hug. "Tell me what's wrong?" She had to lean in close to hear his response, but what she heard made her frown. "Bullshit. You're not a monster. You're a twelve year old boy with more determination and heart than anyone else I know."  
"You don't understand," he said dully, sitting up. "The Hokage explained why everyone hates me. I'm the Kyuubi."

"The villagers that hate you do so because they are petty, stupid, and short-sighted, not because of you. Besides, I think I'd notice if my brother were a three story tall manifestation of pure chakra," she said dryly, wishing she could just tell him she knew and didn't care to get it over with. But she needed him to say it. She had no plausible reason to know.

"We were born on the day it attacked Konoha." She nodded. She knew that full well. Naruto swallowed hard. "And the Yondaime didn't kill it. It couldn't be killed. Instead he sealed it. Into me."

She bit her lip for just a second. Naruto searched her face, clearly desperate for her reaction.

"That means it's in you, not that it's you. I don't care, and neither does anyone who matters. The Hokage clearly doesn't think there's anything wrong with you, does he?" At Naruto's expression, she continued, "If the civilian villagers know, so do all the older nin. Iruka likes you a lot. He knows you're not the Nine-tails. So does Sensei. Doesn't what they think matter? They're both a lot smarter and better informed than the grumpy old civilian man who sells cabbages and gives us the stink-eye every time we walk past. What the fuck would he know about ninja business?"

"I… I guess. You really don't care?" The real twelve-year old sat up, rubbing at an eye fiercely with the back of a hand. She gently stopped him, and made sure she was looking directly into his face and tried to put as much sincerity as possible into her face and voice.

"I don't care if you have a dozen demons sealed in you. You're as human as it gets, and anyone would sense would realize that keeping the Kyuubi locked up inside you makes you a hero."

He sniffled pathetically, trying to look aloof. "That's convenient. A theory about the world that makes you the only one with sense."  
"That sounds about right," she said blankly, falling into their usual banter.

They cuddled in silence, just soaking in being together. Naruto gently tapped her shoulder. "Hey, Aiko." At her inquisitive look, he continued. "Were you making cookies when I came in?"

She sighed. "I'll get them." Her brother followed her to the kitchen trailing blankets. "Want to see if there's a good movie on?" she called. Naruto shrugged.

"Okay." The television flickered on, and the jumble of voices and sounds that followed indicated that he was flipping through channels. "Want to watch a sappy romance flick?" he called hopefully.

Aiko shuddered, making a face. "Agh, you're killing me." She sighed. "Only because I love you," she muttered bitterly. Her brother must have heard, because he set the tv on a channel she definitely never watched on her own. Naruto was just so very full of feelings. She slid the gooey, hot cookies off the baking sheet and onto a cooling rack, putting four of them directly on a porcelain plate. Aiko then put her advanced ninja skills to good use balancing two glasses of milk and the hot cookies on her way into the living room. She stopped in her tracks as soon as she crossed the threshold. "Wow," she said dumbly. "You've gotten really fast about making pillow forts."

Her brother gave her an exaggerated, goofy smirk he had to have learned from Sasuke. It was adorable. His nose went up in the air and he snootily explained that "You can't watch a movie without a pillow fort."

She sat down next to him. "I thought that was just monster movies, and an excuse for you to snuggle when you got scared," she taunted.

Her brother flushed bright red. "Don't- don't say such ridiculous things! I'm a ninja. Ninja aren't scared of monster movies. No matter how big the lizards are."

"At least one ninja is," she sing-songed before she had to roll away to escape his hands when he lunged at her.  
"Mean oneesan! Take that back!"

________________________________________  
Omake: From the Time Skip (age 11-12)

"What's this?" One turquoise eye squinted at the vial in her slim fingers, tilting it slightly.  
"Maybe if you shake it just a little more you'll find out." Aiko shot a glare at her sensei.

"Smartass."

"It's poison, Aiko-chan. You are looking at a soluble paralytic agent that you're going to be building up immunity to so you can infuse your adorable portable raincloud with it. Don't say I never did anything for you."

Aiko stared. 'That's sweet, I guess.' She took a deep breath, wrapping her hand more delicately around the glass vial. "So… Do I just drink it?"

"You could, if you want to die of an over dose. Have you ever seen someone paralyzed have a seizure? It's interesting. That vial right there is about the right amount to be spread out in your usual sized raincloud about twenty times."

She jerked the bottle a little further away from her face.

 


	11. Chapter Eleven

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura squealed, twisting her hands together cutely. 'He's so strong and cool!' She blushed when her teacher slowly glanced at her and pretended to be very focused on getting an even coat of white paint down even though her shoulders were starting to ache from the work.

Across the yard, his eye twitched and Sasuke pretended not to hear his painfully pink and red peer, hefting another load of the wood he was carrying for a fence that had been destroyed by some academy students. Just looking at …that person… was difficult. He couldn't catch her in the corner of his eye without thinking that Valentine's Day had found something too sickeningly sweet and thrown it up. 'This mission is probably Naruto's fault,' he glowered, trying to ignite the other boy with the force of his irritation. No one else ever made as much trouble as Naruto did- he was a bad influence on the younger kids.  
This mission was their third D-class, and it was even less satisfying than the others because the client was the village itself- Sasuke didn't mind hard work. He did it all the time in the uphill struggle against the decay of the nearly abandoned Uchiha complex. Work that served a purpose or helped someone was a logical and acceptable contribution to the good of the village. But work caused by fellow nin (or nin in training) was stupid. They shouldn't be creating busy work and wasting other people's time. He could be training instead and getting stronger, now that he actually had someone willing to help with skills beyond the stupid Academy standards.

With a clatter, the boards fell to the dirt in a pile behind where Naruto was hammering away. "Thanks, bastard," he said distractedly.

'He's actually good at that,' the brunette allowed grudgingly. Aloud, he just grunted and turned away. There was something galling about being relegated to hauling heavy things like an animal while his teammate did the skilled labor, but he soothed his ego by remembering that woodworking was hardly a ninja skill anyways and it didn't matter.

His male teammate's surprising usefulness was balanced out by how much Sakura was a complete waste of space. He carefully didn't look at her- giving her attention only seemed to feed her frightening delusions about him. Even now, she was working harder to keep her nails clean than she was at painting what the boys had finished fixing.

The older two teammates were no help. Kakashi was currently leaning against a tree in the yard reading with one hand in his pocket. He looked as though he might be asleep on his feet. Privately, Sasuke despaired that this was his teacher. Aiko, on the other hand, had mumbled something quickly about having paid her D-class dues and vanished. He couldn't entirely blame her, either.

The redhead rejoined the group as they walked back to the tower to report that they had finished the two D-ranks for that day. Naruto eyed her grumpily. "Where were you all day?"

She rolled her eyes. "Naruto, I'm a Chuunin grounded in-village until my team is fit for fieldwork," she reminded in an exasperated tone. "I'm on the gate duty roster now." Aiko made a face and affected a high, simpering voice. "Why hello there, are you lost little girl? Could I speak to someone about approving my papers?"

Sasuke very carefully did not react while the blond buffoon pointed and laughed and Sakura gave a huff of rather smug amusement. He would have been angry beyond belief if someone had condescended to him like that. Kakashi seemed to radiate cheer, however and casually ruffled her hair. "Aa, that's what you get for moving up in the ranks early."

She smacked at his hand, missing completely. The older man was already fifteen feet away from the group, looking back at them. "Come come, do you want to keep the Hokage waiting?"

That bit of hypocrisy made the three genin see red. Aiko was used to it.

________________________________________  
In a separate line from her team, Aiko handed over her yellow bordered scroll with a smile and a bow. Maybe if she was lucky, she wouldn't spend two weeks in a row on the Chuunin gate roster. It was only a thirty hour time commitment per week to give nin plenty of time to train, but it was still annoying. The room was a comforting bustle of polite conversation, rustling papers and the gentle trickling sounds coming from the tiny fountain separating the nin and civilian sides of the room.  
"Old man, I'm tired of these crappy missions!" Naruto burst.

All other noise but the fountain stopped. She slowly turned her head, hoping against hope that she'd been mistaken and that loud voice had been someone else. 'No such luck.'

The rest of the room was a tableau of unsurprised but displeased expressions. Kakashi slowly put one hand to his forehead. "Thank you, Naruto, for screaming at the Hokage when he walked past the missions room. Thank you so very much," he mumbled lowly. Though he'd pitched it quietly, the blonde should have heard. Aiko did from ten feet away, after all.  
The Hokage just looked amused. "Well, Naruto, you're a genin," he began.

"I don't care what my stupid rank is, we're ninja! We should have better missions than weeding and babysitting. And don't try to tell me those are essential skills for infiltration or adulthood. That's a lie. They're just busywork to shut up fat, lazy civilians who don't want to do their own chores."  
The thick-set man in silk at the front of the line filing mission requests turned an interesting shade of purple.

Sakura had gone from an embarrassed pink flush to hiding her face in her hands and eventually ended up bright red and shaking with rage. "Naruto," she growled warningly. The damage was done, however. Some of the curious civilians gave her a look. Sasuke, on the other hand, had used the substitution jutsu on a potted plant so that no one realized he came in with Naruto. Aiko spotted him leaning against a wall and pretending to be deaf on the other side of the room.

"Kakashi-kun, do you think your team is ready for a C-rank mission?" The Hokage turned to the Jounin to make his point.  
The man shrugged. "Do you have one an idiot can do? Between the three of them…" Aiko was just glad she wasn't included in that count. The leaves of the Sasuke-plant standing next to Naruto gently swayed, as if in agreement.

"Quite right," the Sandaime muttered, raising one eyebrow at the way Naruto was straining to attack his teacher and being prevented by the hand on his head holding him at arm's length. "All right. I think I have a C-rank mission you should be able to do. Come back tomorrow morning to meet your client, be prepared for a long escort mission. Would you send the client from Wave Country a message? I believe I had originally decided that mission would be given to Gai's squad when they get back in a few days, but no matter." He puffed on his pipe while the secretary he'd addressed made a note. "Now, if you'll excuse me…"

Sakura grabbed Naruto's arm with what was obviously painful force and dragged him bodily out of the building, where she proceeded to tear him a new asshole for embarrassing his team like that in front of the village leader and a room of their superiors and prospective clients. Aiko sighed, not feeling up to interfering. She'd hoped to avoid this mission. Granted, she didn't actually know that the client was Tazuna, but how many missions to Wave country would there be at any given point in time?  
________________________________________

'Just one, apparently', Aiko noted tiredly the next morning. It wasn't luck so much as paranoia that had caused her to pack especially well for this mission, but she took a moment to be thankful nonetheless.

Knowing as she did that this mission would be long- months longer than it was billed as- she'd brought more than usual, and had splurged on two of those fucking expensive storage scrolls for extra weapons and high-calorie prepackaged food (it wasn't a good idea to mix comestibles with anything else). The rest of the space in her pack was filled with four changes of clothes (an indulgence her teacher would laugh at if he saw it at the gate, but he'd be jealous later when he was wearing the same nasty pants for a month), the waxes and oils to care for her weapons, boots and gloves, and the notebook she was currently working on filling. Her notebooks were messy indulgences, filled with half-remembered stories in English, a diary, and doodles of people in pretty clothes.

"I can't believe this is the ninja I hired," the old man mumbled rebelliously. "I paid good money. The short one looks like a total idiot." The two gate guards didn't say anything, but one of them rolled his eyes and stamped the foreigner's papers with an efficiency that got the group moving as quickly as possible. Naruto, on the other hand, turned an ugly red and clenched his fists. He was a second away from opening his mouth when his sister spoke up.

Aiko gave their client an impassive stare, tilting her head slightly to catch his eye. "Looks can be deceptive. For example, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were an unemployed drunk." Sasuke gave one of those funny restrained twitches that seemed to mean he was surprised (or amused, or hell, for all she knew it meant that he was hungry. He was a hard kid to read sometimes).

"Now now, children." Kakashi clamped one hand firmly down on Naruto's shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. "Behave. And don't worry, Tazuna-san. They may be a genin team, but the redhead there is a Chuunin, and I am an elite Jounin of this village. You are in good hands."  
Tazuna eyed the group dubiously, but let the matter drop.

Now that she was the one observing genin chomping at the bit to go faster than a civilian's pace on their first trip outside, Aiko had to fight the urge to smile. No wonder Kakashi treated them like a pile of naughty puppies. They had calmed down a bit into a routine characterized by occasional bursts of violence or excitement about seeing a plant or animal that they had learned about in lessons but never seen in real life by the third day when Aiko noticed the glint of sunlight off a puddle in the center of the road.

She winced and exchanged a look with Kakashi. His amused expression indicated that yes, she really did look that ridiculous when she practiced hiding-in-the-water in Konoha. He flashed two subtle handsigns telling her to wait.  
The genin hadn't noticed a thing, which was a little embarrassing. She slowly drifted to the front of the group with them, turning only when the Chuunin burst from their hiding spot and viciously took down a log cloaked in genjutsu flesh before turning to attack their client. Sakura had the presence of mind to dash between the nin and Tazuna –good girl—but Naruto seemed frozen when Aiko and Sasuke moved to the attacking Chuunin in a burst of motion. 'Holy hell, he's fast for an academy fresh genin,' she noted. Fast or not, he didn't have the killer instinct to actually take down his opponent on the first blow, so after Aiko ducked under the spiked chain and disemboweled her opponent with a kunai she flicked the resulting mess off her hand and forearm in one sharp movement and moved to intercept the second enemy Chuunin. He made a yowling sound of outrage, quickly cut off by the blow Kakashi delivered to the back of his neck. The surviving nin crumpled at his feet.  
"Good job, minions." Kakashi turned a pleasant smile to their client. "Tazuna-san, I believe we need to have a talk about lying to foreign military powers and endangering children. I stayed back to see who the target was- it could have been a case of ninja attacking ninja. But they moved for you after they had eliminated the greatest threat."

Aiko spat up a stream of clear, clean water to rinse her hands while the adults talked (really, it was more 'while Kakashi intimidated the living hell out of that idiot'). Sakura, bless her simple soul, had the presence of mind to make an 'ew' face. The other kids hadn't managed to slip back into routine yet, but they were quietly listening to Tazuna's sob story of an oppressed nation living under the thumb of a despotic moron. Sasuke was almost shaking with excitement and adrenaline. Away from the rest of the group, looking stunned, Naruto was standing silent in a way that was totally unlike his usual behavior. Aiko frowned at how forlorn he looked.

"Are you alright, Scaredy-cat?" Sasuke gave an uncharacteristically sassy smirk along with the jab.

'Well, that'll perk him up.' Aiko shook her head and took a moment to secure their surviving prisoner with wire. They were probably going to kill him, but Kakashi might want to get some information first. 'Demon brother my ass.' She checked his hands again- making sure he couldn't move or make handsigns.

The conversation drew her full attention again once Naruto started talking. "We took this mission! We can't go back on our word."  
Sakura looked uncertain, eyes flicking between her companions. Kakashi just hmm'd.

"Is everyone alright with that?"

'Is it really a choice? We could abandon him and back since he lied, and I would if we weren't toting bright-eyed, idealistic Academy baby genin. They'd figure out that we'd be leaving him to die. Harsh lesson for their first mission out, I think.' When they looked at her, she reluctantly agreed. "I'll be fine with going on." Sakura agreed last, a faintly determined smile flickering over her features. For the first time Aiko had noticed, Sasuke looked at the chit with something resembling approval.  
"Alright," Kakashi agreed easily. "You three set up camp. Aiko, supervise. I'm going to have a talk with our friend here for information." She didn't envy the 'Demon brother'. Even if he shared information, he wasn't going to be let go.

________________________________________

Even at the civilian pace, there was less than a day of walking left until they crossed the border to Wave. Aiko felt twitchy all day—she knew that Zabuza was out there somewhere. Waiting around for an A-class missing nin to attack a genin team was a terrible, rotten no-good idea, but she didn't have any other options. Well, she could pretend to have a spontaneous vision and turn around, but it would be more likely that her team would think she was crazy. 'This whole mission is stupid. If finishing that bridge is so important, what the hell was this guy doing in an entirely different country in the first place?'  
"Tazuna-san. Why were you so far away from Wave country if you're hurrying to finish that bridge?"

The old man's blood shot eyes slid over to her for a second before focusing back on his long-empty flask. "I was meeting with someone who was supposed to help." His expression twisted into something bitter. "Coward changed his mind, and left me high and dry in the middle of Fire country. At that point, it was too risky to try to go home alone, so I asked for an escort. After I made it to Konoha, I realized it would be a good idea to have protection while I actually worked. I'm a very important man, after all!" He puffed out his chest.

"Ah." 'This man is an idiot.' What little she caught of her teacher's carefully blank expression indicated that he might be having similar thoughts. Naruto gave a twitch and frowned slightly, looking around the underbrush. They were still in a lightly wooded area, but that would be ending soon. Shadows were just starting to peer over the horizon, but tonight they were going to walk past nightfall since they were so close to their destination. She might have relaxed if she wasn't so damn sure that they'd be getting attacked at any minute.

That suspicion was confirmed when Naruto flung a brace of kunai into a bush and bounded after them, shouting. Sakura's hand was suddenly boasting four kunai for claws and Sasuke balanced a shuriken between two fingers. Aiko herself slipped into the calm state of mind that characterized her fights.

"Just a bunny rabbit…" Naruto held the poor shaking animal up, cuddling it apologetically.

Sakura flushed. "You idiot! You got us all worked up over a rabbit?" Sasuke slumped in disappointment before giving the rabbit an odd look.

"He's right, someone is here," Aiko supplied. "That isn't a native animal."

As she spoke, an unnatural fog crept around her ankles, pulling gently into swirling eddies. It was a jutsu that she personally was very familiar with… and the size of it indicated that there was a decent source of water nearby. The three genin rustled uncomfortably as their vision was blocked with shocking speed and ease, going on the alert. Kakashi took up point, closer to the group than he usually favored. "Get down!"

Aiko didn't sense the large blade hurtling through the air at all, but she had already reflexively responded to her sensei's commanding tone. Sakura had been the one to drag their client down- she had a decent head on her shoulders, that one.  
'Fuck, I'm glad sensei is here. I knew he would do that and I still had no idea it was hurtling towards us.'  
She kept her focus on attempting to discern the enemy's position without her eyes. Zabuza must have been using some sort of distortion genjutsu, because pin-pointing his location from his voice was impossible. Instead, she tried to resort to a crude chakra sense- it didn't help in this case. His presence was monstrous- all she could tell was that he was too close, he was far too close and there was no way she could fight him on even terms.

'But ninja don't fight on even terms. Should I get rid of this fog? I could turn it into puddles or even evaporate it, given a moment, but he may react strongly to losing what he sees as a tactical advantage. Is it to my benefit to try to let this play out by formula? And even worse, I can't sense Haku at all, although I'm certain he's lurking about. Is Zabuza obscuring his signature, or is he just that good?'

The gravelly voice that she had never heard before but knew intimately had moved on to using scare tactics on the group—making the genin sharply aware that to him, they were just a cluster of targets. The calm cadence of his voice was assisted by a generous helping of KI. While Kakashi flashed away into the fog and began to clash steel, the three genin bristled with drawn weapons. Aiko merely stood in the deceptively casual 'waiting' stance of her modified taijutsu, ready for an attack on their group. She wasn't disappointed.

With a dark grin, a figure that she knew was probably a water clone was behind Naruto. She knew a clone could kill just as thoroughly as the real deal, so she felt no compunction about spitting a spray of water bullets at the figure. It dodged easily- but into the path of Kakashi's water clone. A third clone took him out and what turned out to be the real Kakashi slashed that clone into nothingness. Her head hurt from trying to keep track but her teacher seemed to know exactly what was going on when he spun to intercept their opponent from a different direction. After a brief exchange, the tall figure faded back into the mist.

"Aiko! Get rid of the mist."

'Well, if the decision is out my hands…' Bringing her hands together so that her fingertips touched, she closed her eyes for just a second to infuse the mist with her own chakra—and tried not to jump or dodge at the sudden murderous presence behind her, trusting that her sensei would take care of it. Sure enough, when she opened her eyes a millisecond later and took a deep breath in, she felt the light splash of a remarkably efficient water clone dash across her back and sensed her instructor taking off immediately after where he must have sensed the real Zabuza. With smooth efficiency she neutralized the lingering chakra that Zabuza had apparently not been maintaining –'makes sense, Kakashi is keeping him busy' – and exhaled a burst that forced the mist to condense and spray out in the same move. It fell harmlessly to the ground, but she maintained her grip on it so that he didn't use the now-soaked ground to his advantage.

"I didn't know that Kakashi of the Sharingan eye was babysitting brats nowadays," the now-visible man taunted, casually slinging his enormous sword over his shoulder. Kakashi merely shrugged, watching the other man warily. Before now, Aiko had thought her sensei was tall. But this guy… She took advantage of her first opportunity to study him—Zabuza of the Bloody Mist was fucking scary looking. He was a solid 7 feet tall and had the muscle of a linebacker coupled with a more than slightly sinister grin. As the whole package was wrapped up in pointlessly eccentric clothing mostly consisting of bandages, he didn't look like an opponent she would want to fight herself.

'They just don't make them like that in Konoha.'

"Like what you see, brat," the man she'd been staring at growled, boasting a shit-your-pants-terrifying grin with – yes, those teeth were actually pointed.

She looked at his eyes for the first time. "No," Aiko admitted honestly. "I suspect you're a crazy person and a really bad dresser to boot."

"Moving on," her teacher muttered as he swung into action again, ignoring the water clone that she'd been staring at for a moment while he intercepted the real assassin's swing with that scary ass sword. The fight seemed to be nearly one-sided and her teacher easily drove the enormous man backwards, away from the client and genin. It took a long moment for her to realize why that observation made her feel uncomfortable, but by that point the trap was set. The instant her teacher stepped foot onto the lake surface, she remembered. 'Oh, crap. The water prison.'

The horror and self-recrimination on her teacher's face when he realized what she had was something she'd never seen before. It was a stupid mistake to force him towards water, born out of arrogance in what seemed to be an easy fight and his desire to keep the three 12 year olds out of the fight.

"Sakura, protect the client. Naruto, Sasuke, disrupt that water clone. He can't make another one and he can't move without letting go of sensei," she barked, flipping through a quick series of handsigns." It didn't even occur to her to look to see if the genin obeyed.

"No!" Kakashi roared. "It's over, this fight is lost. You four need to get out of here. He can't go far from here while he's holding me."

"I don't abandon comrades!" Naruto shouted. The determined looks on Sasuke and Sakura's faces seemed to agree. Aiko couldn't help but smirk lopsidedly, hearing some sort of scuffle between the boys and the one water clone left to harass them. 'I've got a much better idea, sensei dearest.'

"Sorry sensei. You're just going to have to deal with the embarrassment of being rescued by your students." She released her attack into the water ten feet away from Zabuza, who had been preparing to dodge as best as he could without losing his grip on the water prison. The look of confounded surprise on his normally sinister face was downright comical when he realized she'd just electrocuted the entire lake, her teacher included before dropping into convulsions would have fueled a fit of giggles in another situation. "Sorry about that too," she muttered, leaping onto the water the instant that the electrical current had died down to grab both men. 'I didn't want to warn Zabuza, so I couldn't really say anything.'

As he was still stunned from her stupidly logical attack – really, why was it so surprising that she would use the one enormous weakness of his surroundings against him? – it was easy to hit the pressure point on the back of Zabuza's neck and put him out of commission temporarily before changing her grip to his arm so that she could pull both him and her ailing teacher out of the lake before they drowned.

When her teacher managed to pry his dark eye open, he seemed to be glaring reproachfully at her. "You're a horrible child," he wheezed, quickly recovering. It had been a relatively weak charge, meant more to stun than damage. She gave a pleasant smile and let him fall to the ground with a wet slop beside the unconscious criminal.

"You're welcome, sensei. I've gotten too fond of you to lose you now to a fashion disaster like that." Though he couldn't be fully recovered, her teacher regained his feet and looked his usual self except for the way he was leaning on her by the time she'd finished the sentence.

"Be on guard," she said quietly, more to the kids than her sensei. If she could sense Haku, no doubt he did as well. Kakashi may have been too tired to do so in the original fight, but this hadn't descended into a Sharingan-aided pissing match, so his chakra reserves should be fine. "There's someone else nearby—an accomplice of his no doubt." Aiko wouldn't have sensed him if Zabuza hadn't just slid off the map with his trip into sleepyland and if she hadn't known to keep looking for a second partner, but now that she had sensed Haku it was fair game to say something about that. Sasuke (who looked uncannily like a soaked and angry housecat) bristled, all sharp angles and tense muscles ready to explode. He didn't disappoint- when the senbon attack flew to their incapacitated enemy he deflected all but one with a kunai, scanning for the interloper. The lone senbon Sasuke wasn't fast enough to get planted itself into the side of Zabuza's neck. Naruto turned slightly green.

A figure about Sakura's proportions appeared in a flash of shunshin, crouched fifteen feet away. "My apologies. I have been hunting that man for quite a while. I will take his body back to the village for identification now."

"Bull," Aiko spat, using her free arm to force him to dodge a kunai. "That's no hunter-nin." Though all four kids were in ready stances and Haku instantly tensed for a fight, the next thing Aiko noted- well, she noted two things at once, really. The first was that no one was leaning on her anymore, and the second was that her teacher was standing behind the fake hunter-nin. The altercation was brutally short. The boy went down with one blow and no chance to fight back.

'Annnnd that's why he is an elite Jounin and I get to guard the gates from foreign merchants.'

"You know, I'm starting to think that someone wants you dead," Sasuke said dryly, giving their quivering client a scathing look.  
"We may be out of our league," Sakura added nervously, creeping up and gently toeing the fallen boy, eventually taking off his mask after she got a 'go-ahead' nod from her sensei. She sucked in a breath. Whether that was from surprise, jealousy, or something else entirely was hard to say.

"Wow, she's prettier than Sakura-chan," Naruto breathed. Said girl flushed an unbecoming shade and clenched a fist. Aiko put a hand on the shorter girl's shoulder to hold her back from pummeling the idiot.

"Easy there. Naruto, that was rude. Sensei, are we going to continue? I mean, it was one thing to continue when we knew we were up against someone willing to hire two Chuunin missing nin. But this is the second group they've sent, and this guy is no Chuunin." She gestured carelessly at Zabuza. "Besides, isn't this Momochi Zabuza? I don't know about the kid, but there is definitely a bounty on this one and he probably has information about what is going on in Mist."

"You're looking at this the wrong way." Kakashi easily knelt to check for a pulse… and found none. Aiko tried not to shudder, being relatively certain that Haku had played his temporary death trick, but she had no evidence she could point to that indicated the man was still alive.

Kakashi was probably going to burn the bodies- standard procedure. If the man was still alive… It didn't bear thinking too much about.

"This Gato has no reason to know that his team has failed. The fact that we encountered four missing nin from the same village implies they were working as a team and Zabuza only stepped in when he confirmed the Chuunin failed. Gato probably won't have more missing nin on hire- he'd have no need for more than a Jounin and three Chuunin to run errands. Anyone else he has on staff will likely be just civilian thugs."

"Therefore, the mission is within our abilities," Sakura concluded easily, sounding relieved. "But sensei, doesn't that mean Tazuna-san is safe now?"

Sasuke gave her a condescending look. "Even untrained thugs could be enough to prevent the bridge from being built." The girl looked embarrassed and twisted her fingers together.

"So we could go with him and either just keep him safe or take care of the root of the problem. If Gato is dead, he won't be sending anyone else after our client." Aiko pointed out casually. Their teacher remained silent, clearly letting them work through the problem on their own. Tazuna, on the other hand, was staring at the four children with open-mouthed horror. 'What, never seen pre-teens blink off a few life-or-death battles in a day?' The thought was a bit silly. She knew full-well that the genin weren't as unaffected as they looked.

Naruto scratched his nose. "So, what are we going to do with her?" He pointed with his customary lack of finesse at Haku. There was a moment of awkward silence where everyone but him seemed to come to the same conclusion.

Sasuke shifted his weight, not quite managing to look at Haku. "We can't take them with us, and we can't let them recuperate and attack us again." He didn't seem able to conclude the statement, but Sakura turned green in a way that conveyed she knew what had to be done as well.

"But she's helpless!" Naruto protested indignantly. "We can't just kill her there while she's knocked out."

"Naruto, being a ninja means doing some unpleasant things. That person is far from helpless." Kakashi put uncharacteristic seriousness into his voice. "Any one of the ninja we encountered today would have killed you without a second thought. That's part of our world."

"But!"

"Stop. Now." The boy fell silent, defeated. "If you can't bear to watch, then you can start hiding the signs that there was a fight here. That goes for you two as well. Aiko, take care of the bodies. I'm going to run a perimeter check." With that, he gave them all a considering look and flashed out of sight with more urgency than his tone had indicated.

"You can't just.."

Aiko met her brother's whisper with a calm, firm gaze. "Don't look." She drew a kunai into her left hand.

________________________________________  
Omake from time skip

Aiko ignored the irritating raindrops against her bare upper arms, parrying a blow from her opponent's short blade. Short or not, it was long enough to be a big pain when all she had were stumpy little kunai.

'I'm going to make sensei teach me how to use a sword soon. This shit gets really old.'

Her lips thinned as she pressed them together, feeling the wind whistle through her short hair when she spun under the man's guard in a maneuver that planted one of her feet with her heel touching his sandaled toes for just a moment before she whipped away to position herself behind him and savagely jab at his unprotected kidney with the handle of her kunai.

An ugly sound escaped through his teeth, and she could see that the cloud nin's face was strangely red under his long curly hair when he turned to face her and pushed her backwards with a rib-cracking kick.

She hit the dirt, rolling a few times before she regained her feet.

"Tough luck, kid," he drawled, looking genuinely sympathetic at the game-changing injury. Not sympathetic enough to let her live, though. Being a missing nin was tough. He couldn't indulge sympathy for a child who had been sent to take him in for his bounty. If he let her live, the next team would be full of kids ordered to take advantage of the supposed weakness.

Aiko put one hand to her ribs, trying not to gasp. "Funny, that's what I was about to say to you." As her chakra control flickered, so did the artificial rain. The man clearly noticed—he paled and leapt backwards, away from her and tried to escape from the reach of her jutsu. She followed at an easy lope that didn't bother her breathing too much, knowing there was no need for speed. His face had been exposed to her contact poison for at least two minutes. The increased circulation from the delaying fight and his frantic run would spread her poison all the quicker once it made it into his veins.

Surely enough, she found him collapsed and panting weakly. He attempted to glare at her through eyelids that fluttered and flirted with unconsciousness. "Bitch," he managed to gasp. She nodded in agreement.

Her teacher found her some time after. Aiko was perched precariously on a rock outcropping, keeping one eye on the man who was immobilized by her paralytic.

"Lazing about, I see," Kakashi called out, idly inspecting her catch. He had taken the more difficult opponent, of course. The head was already sealed up, the rest ashes in the wind.

"I almost got my butt kicked," she offered up as he drew closer. "I think I have a broken rib."  
"Let me see."

The hint of concern in her teacher's voice made her smile, even as he prodded at her torso with two warm fingers in a way that fucking hurt.


	12. Chapter Twelve

This chapter is short, but it had to be. It wraps up the Wave arc and works to make some important contrasts visible. The next chapter should be up pretty soon as well.

________________________________________

It hurt, a little, but she understood. Naruto wasn't like other ninja. He didn't understand yet that not everyone could shine so hard it hurt the eyes.

Her otouto hadn't so much as looked at her since she had slit Haku's throat (she didn't have to, but it was kinder than risking him waking up on fire) and hacked off Zabuza's head for storage in one of her scrolls. He'd impassively accepted a fourth of the extra weapons she had to unseal to make room and pretended not to smell the smoke from their impromptu cremation.  
Sakura hadn't looked at the disposal either, but she'd gone about her business with efficient impassivity (or what passed for it in that girl, anyways).

Sasuke had been the surprise. He had watched the two bodies burn with something heavy behind his gaze, maintaining an almost respectful silence until the ash began to curl away on the breeze. If she hadn't had her foreknowledge, never once would Aiko have considered that the serious little boy in front of her would ever leave his village for power. He seemed the picture-perfect baby genin. His attitude was a little gruff and he had a decided anti-social bent, but those were hardly debilitating flaws in a shinobi.

'Maybe Orochimaru fucks him up more than I thought.'

When Kakashi had returned, he had gathered up the genin like wayward ducklings and shooed the entire train to Tazuna's house, the old man sullenly silent and shying away from the children he appeared to be unnerved by. His daughter had clucked when she saw him filthy and bedraggled, stubbornly clinging to the long-empty flask. He endured her fluttering about with a reluctantly tender expression that actually made Aiko recant some of her nastier thoughts about the old man so far.

While the old man settled in, Kakashi took the three genin on a walk around the town. Aiko killed time exploring the house and setting up traps on the perimeter while Tsunami's moon-faced idiot child glared at her out his window.

While she was the only ninja present, he had treated her to a long and boring monologue about how Gato was too powerful to fight, abandon ye all hope, yadda yadda yadda. Before he had finally burst into a fit of melodramatic tears and stormed away she was on the verge of scaring him into leaving her alone. After all, no one who had met the little shit would ever blame her.  
Except perhaps her sensei, she reminded herself when she saw his stern mien upon return. For all that he could seem to turn his humanity off like a light switch when it suited him, he wouldn't tolerate her pinning the whiner to the wall with senbon.  
From what the kids mentioned when they got back, Kakashi had used the trip as an exercise to test their situational awareness and ability to gauge a location. Even three thick-headed genin could apparently tell that Wave was desperately poor, painfully soggy, and filled with nervous people. To hear Sakura tell it, doors practically slammed in a chorus line as the group walked down trash-heaped street dotted with dull eyed beggars with distended bellies and gnarled, broken hands.

It was a familiar tactic. Yakuza and their ilk often mutilated dissenters instead of killing them. Eliminating enemies was scary, but leaving them around tends to leave a lingering reminder of dominance.

The familiarity was a bit soothing. It reinforced the theory that Gato had connections to organized crime. Predictability in enemies was good.

The girls had been given a room together and the three males were packed like sardines into the other room. The size of the house made it clear that Wave or at least Tazuna's family had not always been so poor—five bedroom homes were not common, even if the room that the girls were squeezed into was pitifully small. Naruto drew the best straw and ended up getting left off the watch schedule for the night, along with their amused and unsympathetic sensei.

Sakura had the first shift, trudging reluctantly out into the chill night air. Aiko managed to sleep well for almost three hours until the pink-haired girl crawled into bed and started her insufferable rustling.

Sharing a room wasn't new for Aiko, but sharing it with anyone other than her brother or her teacher was. She was more than used to the soft snuffling noises Naruto made in his sleep, and Kakashi's occasional grunts didn't bother her anymore. As it turned out, Sakura was a fidgety, restless sleeper, prone to sighing heavily, giving little whines into her pillow and burrowing around under the blankets. At one point Aiko caught the girl bent nearly in half backwards, pawing at her pillow with her toes curled nearly to her back. It was simultaneously adorable and annoying as all hell.

Irritated and unable to get more than a few hours of sleep, the lone chuunin went for a run around the perimeter instead, at one point alarming Sasuke who was on watch duty. "Can't sleep," she offered a little sheepishly, handing back the shuriken that he'd launched in surprise. "Sakura-san moves around a lot in her sleep."

"Hn." The boy tucked his weapon away. "When is your watch?"

"I'll just take over now." She sighed, giving a stretch. "One of us may as well get some sleep."

He raised one eyebrow in lieu of saying 'That's not likely.' Instead, he said shortly that "I can't sleep either."

She nodded in understanding. "As hypocritical as this is, you'll get used to it. I used to hate sharing a room with Sensei." She made a face. "It's best to let him wake up first. If you have to wake him up, do it from another room and prepared to dodge."  
"That knowledge will make sleeping with him so much easier," came the dry reply.

 

Aiko fought down both a smile and the automatic innuendo that came to mind.

'He's more talkative when he's sleep-deprived.'

She didn't want to provoke him by making it clear she had noticed his more open behavior. When he wasn't doing his best to look the part of the hardened stoic, it was easy to see why Sakura and her giggly, dreamy ilk were drawn to him like butterflies to flowers. Even at twelve, he had a dark beauty that would mature into the category of 'total hunk' in a few years. Coupled with his obvious intelligence and talent, the boy had serious appeal. Poor thing. It was obvious he didn't want the attention.  
"Did you sleep at all," she asked instead. He nodded tersely and turned his head slightly in a way that told he was visually scanning the area for threats, even though his eyes blended into the darkness so that she couldn't see where he was looking.  
'Apparently conversation time is over.'

"It's almost dawn." She gave a stretch, fingers linked together. "Think it would be rude to poke around in search of breakfast?"  
The look she got in reply was positively disdainful. She held her hands up. "Okay, fine. I'll stay out of Tsunami-san's kitchen."  
"Barbarian." His lips tugged into a lopsided smirk. She made a theatrical hurt expression that he could probably spot even under her black half mask and flitted away.

When everyone was up and had been fed (and that annoying little shit whose name she hadn't bothered to remember had scurried away to sulk) the civilians cleared out of the room to get ready for the day while the nin talked. Looking indolent and bored, Kakashi gave out his orders. "Sasuke, you're in charge while I'm gone. I want you three to accompany Tazuna to the bridge. Aiko and I will be investigating and possibly visiting this 'Gato' person. If all goes well, there won't be a threat to Tazuna-san's person by the end of the day. I don't anticipate an attack at the bridge, since we'll be going to the source. Keep an eye open and run a perimeter. If you don't see us before dark, get Tazuna home."

"Hai." Sasuke seemed to be studying his new subordinates. The blonde was giving him a decidedly unfriendly stare, and Sakura had a dopey grin planted on her features.  
Aiko couldn't blame him for whatever doubts he was probably having, no matter how much she loved her otouto.  
Their teacher chuckled. "You three will do fine. Stick together and use your heads. A genin team is more than a match for anything a civilian can throw at you." Naruto stopped looking irritated with Sasuke long enough to beam proudly. He wasn't the dead-last her foreknowledge had painted him as, but Naruto was still pretty starved for genuine praise.

After the groups separated, Aiko looked wordlessly to her teacher for further orders from her perch on a rooftop. He didn't disappoint. "Two options. Investigate under henge by asking civilians, or remain unseen to address the problem directly. What's best for this situation and why."

"No point in trying the henge. The civilians are scared," she said immediately, not even looking at the pitiful display below. "We are likely to either get inaccurate information or risk someone telling Gato that people are asking about him the day after a group of ninja roll into town. Granted, he almost certainly doesn't know that Zabuza and his team have failed, but he will be nervous by now and will be listening to gossip. He'll have someone report that Tazuna is working on the bridge. Our best option is to locate him ourselves and take him out quietly, if that is our directive."

Her teacher hmm'd noncommittally. "Why do you think we're going to take him out?"

"It's within the parameters of our mission to ensure Tazuna's protection while he completes the construction project. If the source of the conflict is gone, he's in no danger." She frowned and added, "Assuming, of course, that no one is waiting to pick up the reins of the operation where he let off. If Gato is really involved in drug-running and a yakuza-like group of thugs, we might have to eliminate more than just the leadership."  
"You're forgetting something."

Aiko felt her forehead crease. 'What… Oh.' "To the victor go the spoils," she added a little sheepishly. "He'll have shipping contracts. We should bring those back to Konoha and let administration figure out what to do with them. If we have them, no one else can step in and do the same thing to Wave until they've sorted through all the mess we're going to leave."  
"The council can send someone to clean up anyone who might cause trouble in future. Good girl. You don't have any subtle assassination jutsu, do you?"

She shook her head and he frowned. "Remind me to teach you how to stop a heart. I'll be going in alone, then, and you can take the back as a scout."

It was pitifully easy to locate Gato's headquarters. It was isolated outside of the town and ostentatious to a degree that was laughable. He seemed to have tried to construct a traditional home like the Hyuuga had, but failed to capture the minimalistic beauty someone raised as nobility would prefer. He clearly had more money than sense.

Gato did have a fair few mercenaries posted outside, though. For a civilian they probably seemed like good protection. No wonder the townspeople were frightened. Her teacher frowned when he saw just how many there were and nonverbally signaled her.

'Change of plans. Surround base with rain. No one leaves.'

After the embarrassingly long moment before she realized he wanted her to use her paralytic, she nodded in agreement. It made sense. This many thugs could wreak havoc on the nearby town if they realized their source of pay was dead.

Her teacher settled down to wait- he'd head in a few minutes after the shower started; before people started collapsing, but late enough that no panic in the home would cause the patrolling thugs to go inside and discover the trick. Not that he would ever be sloppy enough to let anyone inside make a fuss.

Aiko unstoppered her favored poison and made a displeased face at what was left. She was going to have to mix up more when she got home—she hated doing that. It stank up the whole apartment. She started the drizzle very lightly, spreading it out as far as she could to obscure the fact that it was a suspiciously localized rain. The hired help cursed and talked amongst themselves when it started, but no one seemed to find it too strange.

And why would they? The sky was grey and the land of Wave was perpetually damp, as far as she could tell. It was almost criminally easy to pull moisture out of the low-hanging fog in order to supplement her water supply, siphoning the last of her poison out slowly and mixing it into the liquid.

Her teacher gently touched her shoulder to let her know he was leaving and then flickered away, inside the gaudy building within a second of exiting the treeline. She settled down to wait, focusing on sensing presence through her raindrops instead of abandoning the jutsu to pay attention normally. It was difficult for her to divide her attention and still maintain the right conditions, so she didn't even try.

When the first man slumped over, his companion tried to give a cry. Doubtlessly he discovered that the numbing in his limbs wasn't the result of the cold rain when he tried to check for enemies. Very quickly, the yard was full of still figures.  
Aiko felt her lips pull into a strange smile at the altogether eerie sight. 'It's like Medusa's garden of stone.'

The thought was perhaps overly morbid- none of these men would die from this. They would, however, be completely out of commission for at least a day. Civilians didn't have the sturdy constitution or chakra-enhanced ability to speed up bodily processes like shinobi did.

'Rain, rain, go away. Please come back another day.'

She hummed the rhyme quietly, swinging her legs on her perch. With her eyes closed to help her focus on her rain-enhanced chakra sensing, Aiko leaned back against the tree trunk.

Her teacher's chakra signature pinged on her crude radar well before she heard him, the instant he stepped outside- she opened her eyes and immediately spotted him. One dark gray eye surveyed the lawn, scattered with fallen mercenaries as if they were abandoned dolls. He hmm'd. "I don't think we should leave them. There's too many."

Aiko nodded. "I take it there's no one left inside then?"

With quiet efficiency, she and her teacher flitted about and gently, painlessly spilled blood all over the grass in front of the mansion.

________________________________________

"And you should have seen us! Me and the bastard were like wham!" Naruto illustrated this critical point by slamming a fist into his flat palm, knocking the spoon out of his soup and sending it winging towards Sakura. He didn't even notice her snatch it out of the air or scowl at the liquid on her dress.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, looking a little pleased with himself but less willing to brag openly. "It was just a few civilian thugs," he said calmly. "We handed them over to the local authorities."

Aiko carefully didn't allow her face to let on to the fact that those authorities had probably lynched the prisoners. It didn't seem like the kind of thing a boy whose family had managed a police force would like to hear.

"They didn't stand a chance!" The blonde crowed. "And Sakura-chan knocked the last one out with a bento." The girl flushed, but Naruto seemed to think the last point was both crucial and impressive. Aiko did her best to keep a straight face while Tsunami cracked up and Sasuke smirked. At the head of the table, their client beamed.

"I had my doubts, but you Konoha ninja are all right." He slurped down a frightening amount of alcohol and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. Tsunami cringed visibly. The whiny child whose name she still didn't remember barely seemed to notice his grandfather at all. Instead, he was staring stupidly at Naruto with his jaw hanging open. It was either hero worship or a stroke. "I've decided to name my great bridge for your team! When it becomes incredibly famous, everyone will know about the Great … What's your team called, anyway?"

"Team seven," Sasuke said immediately at the same time Sakura said "Team Kakashi." They exchanged glances, but neither of them managed to speak again before Naruto banged a fist on the table and shouted "Team Kick-ass!"

There was a moment of silence, punctuated by the sound of a page flipping. "I like Naruto's suggestion," Kakashi said absentmindedly. Sakura groaned into her soup, but a corner of her mouth twitched up.

"Can you name a bridge that?" Tsunami asked dubiously.

They left the next morning—before the excrement really hit the fan over the slayings outside of town. It was very plausible that no one even knew yet, actually. At (genin) ninja speeds, team Kick-ass made it to the front gates of Konoha within two days. On the way, Naruto had managed to spill the fact that Sasuke had activated his Sharingan in their brawl against the thugs they'd f ought at the bridge and was giving serious thought to calling him "Pink-eye" instead of "Bastard". The sheer irritation of listening to the blonde re-hash the benefits and drawbacks of each name actually caused poor Sasuke to involuntarily activate his eyes again- three tomoe total, one in his right eye and two in his left.

They stood around while their team leader idly scrawled the last scintillating entry into the mission report he'd been writing (from what she could read over his shoulder, it looked to be 'met and eliminated targets. My minions eliminated civilian targets. Returned home. Will get barbeque tonight.') and then followed him to hand it in.

Team Kick-ass didn't quite manage to escape the building before the chuunin who had accepted the report groaned audibly and told them to wait in an adjoining room. Apparently missions that increased in difficulty while in-field had to be verbally debriefed on the same day.

The Hokage had been properly proud and horrified in turn, listening to Naruto's theatrical rendition interspersed with bland corrections from Kakashi and Sasuke. Aiko merely stood quietly at attention, trying not to look too bored. The Hokage doubtlessly knew she didn't like him. Sakura was uncharacteristically cowed by the presence of the current military dictator. As always, Naruto completely bulldozed over the obvious hints that his companions were uncomfortable or uninterested in favor of extending the conversation as long as possible.

By the time they finally escaped, three genin had six D-class and one A-class mission on their record. It was ridiculous enough that Aiko had to force down giggles, but on the bright side the pass he gave them ensured they didn't have to do any more D-ranks to complete the requirements to qualify for the Chuunin exams. They could devote the rest of the time to training, if they wanted.

The Hokage had put Kakashi on the spot- pulling Aiko away from the team temporarily for a semi-long term project and telling him that his genin wouldn't be taking any more missions until the exams.

The silver-haired man had all but groaned.

'That was shitty,' Aiko noted. 'Now Sensei can't motivate them with the promise that they won't get more crappy missions if they work hard.' A large part of how Kakashi interacted with his team was subtle manipulation and mindfucks. By undermining his authority in front of his team, the Hokage had damaged his ability to lead them and make decisions at his own discretion. Granted, he was in fact Kakashi's superior as well, but why the hell would you put trainees under a supervisor and then undermine that authority? It was counterproductive. The genin should at least be under the illusion that their sensei had control over their education.

Sometimes she wondered if the Hokage was an asshole or just a total fucking moron.

The next morning, she reported to her new supervisor, Mitarashi Anko. The flames were almost six feet tall when she made it to the meeting place.

 

 


	13. The Waiting

"Buuuurn!" Anko's long coat flapped around her shins from the explosive force she had just released in training ground 44. She all but cackled, her fingers curled into claws and arms raised above her head in a V shape. "Burn baby, burn!"

A small figure stood on the other side of the clearing, eyes widening at the wall of fire traveling her way at high speed.  
"Oh holy hell."

Aiko did her best to ignore the smoke in her face, flashing through the hand-signs for a truly epic water jutsu. The resultant wave splashed over the burning patch of forest in a sizzling tidal force. The other kunoichi leapt straight up, over the cresting water and flipped mid-air with panache before landing silently on top of the moving water in a theatrical pose.  
"I had it under control, kid," Anko growled. "That was deliberate."

'Sure it was.'

Aiko shrugged apologetically. "I can't help but find open flames in the middle of Konoha a bit unnerving, Anko-sempai."  
"Eh." The curvy brunette ('Does it count as brunette even though it has purple tints?', Aiko wondered) shrugged away the implications of that statement. "So, you're my new minion?" She spat a short wooden stick out from between her lips, letting it slide into the charred ground. "Hope you're ready to do a whole load of shit work." She gifted the chuunin with a feral grin. "Because we got a lot to do. Starting with remodeling this training ground to be suitable for the chuunin exams."

Slowly, deliberately Aiko turned to survey the area. She hadn't trained in the 'Forest of Death' before, but it looked like any other training ground- thick forested areas cut by occasional streams. Then she raised an eyebrow at her supervisor.  
The older girl scowled. "It wouldn't be much fun to herd the brats through a plain, boring set up. We're going to wire this place up for surveillance, plant the motherload of traps, and spruce up the wildlife."

"Is it for a survival exercise, then?" That made sense. As it was now, traveling through the forest would be little challenge even for a group of genin. It was likely that when she designed the second task, Anko had the twin concerns of wanting to intimidate foreign ninja (making a lasting impression that would keep them from underestimating Konoha) and wanting to ensure the general safety of the participants. It would be a waste to kill off more promising ninja than they had to. As this exam was going to be flooded with clan heirs and other genin of interest, the council was probably more invested in keeping them alive than in other years.

Her own chuunin exam had been in Sand, where they apparently weren't as big on teamwork as Konoha was. She had been allowed to compete alone, which had been both a curse and a blessing.

That would never happen in Konoha, though. In only a few hours they blazed trails through the forest, creating clearings and minimizing water supplies according to a map Anko had dreamed up. By changing the layout, even ninja who had trained in the area would be at a loss.

Plus it was a marvelous opportunity to destroy a whole lot of the environment. Aiko couldn't help but wince when hundred-year old trees were crisped and her new supervisor enthusiastically used earth jutsu to creatively add hills, holes and artfully shaped outcroppings. Her job was mainly the water system- they were redirecting entire streams into just two water pathways in order to create conflict by forcing teams together.

The whole thing was exhausting, and Aiko was about ready to collapse when they had finally altered the landscape to Anko's specifications. A nap was not in the cards, however.

"Get your lazy ass up, minion. How are you with summoning scrolls?"

Aiko blinked. "Using them?"

The older kunoichi gave her a disparaging look that was enhanced by the severely singed state of her clothes. "Don't be thick. I hope your calligraphy is good, because you are going to be making up scrolls and copying a lot of fancy poetry." She grimaced and scraped her tongue out over her teeth as if to get rid of a bad taste. "Better you than me. Just remember, failure on your part will end in the maiming of your fellow shinobi. No pressure."

For some reason it hadn't occurred to her that her home village was shamefully cheap. Instead of just paying a real seal maker to produce the dual scrolls to summon chuunin at the end of the task, it had been included as one of many items that had to be done by the two of them before the exams. That meant that she was essentially learning an entirely new skill set for B-class compensation that also included a host of other duties, a prospect that she was a little bitter about.

In a strangely domestic turn of events, they went together to pick up the supplies for her next task. Aiko was not surprised in the least to see that shopkeepers bowed anxiously and hurried to get her adult companion out of their stores.  
She quite liked Anko and had for all the time she had known her. That didn't change the fact that it was easy to see Anko had a huge personality and verbally abusive tendencies when she got impatient.

Since her brother was probably going to be in the exam, for confidentiality reasons Aiko could only work on that project at Anko's home, a traditional styled house with a completely dead garden out front. The black vines and crunchy leaves had hinted at the state of the place, but it was only clear once she stepped inside that said dwelling place was a terrifying pit. She knew intellectually that many powerful shinobi had coping mechanisms. Apparently, one of Anko's was hoarding. The front room had artfully stacked piles of boxes of chocolate up to her waist, what appeared to be every dvd available in the fire nation and an entire wall of bookshelves full of everything from Jiraiya's porn series to ghost stories to a glittery red tome with the somewhat ominous title 'The Art of the Bitch'.

The twelve (almost thirteen!) year old carefully stepped into the room around piles of mission reports and identical pairs of sandals ("I can only ever find the left ones," Anko had explained contemplatively when she noticed Aiko's incredulous expression), clutching her supplies carefully. She had taken the academy classes on introductory level seal work, but they had never actually made seals. Knowing the symbols and having a keen eye for detail would probably get her through this exercise, however. She hoped.

At Anko's direction, she gingerly piled the fancy scrolls onto the central table next to what appeared to be a naked painting of Anko generously splattered in blood, signed 'from a fan'. The older kunoichi grinned at the sight, helping Aiko set out the bottles of special ink without breaking or spilling anything.

"Open those up and bleed in them," she commanded, as casually imperious as any queen could hope to speak. The redhead dutifully followed directions while Anko flickered out of the room to rustle around. She winced when something shattered. The voice that called back sounded a little distant. "I have plenty of brushes around here somewhere… Did I give you the scroll you'll be copying already?"

Aiko rolled her eyes and pulled a short bandage out from her thigh pouch to wrap around her bleeding palm, swiping up the droplets she'd accidentally gotten on the table's surface before they dried. "Not yet." With a chink, the now-closed bottles were shoved into a wide wooden box in order to keep them all in one place.

"Here." A scroll landed on the couch beside Aiko, on top of a purple decorative pillow. Her companion's aesthetic tastes seemed to run to purple, red, and tan, though the walls were traditional rice paper. "And this is the sissy fucking poem you'll be writing out. Let me check your work once you've copied one of each. I'm going to do a food run. Have any requests?"

Working on the preparations for the Chuunin exams was long, boring, and occasionally ended in hand cramps or mild electrical shocks from those sketchy surveillance units they planted in the forest at strategic locations. It also had the unpleasant side effect of completely disrupting her usual schedule- she hadn't had so much as a spar with Ino or morning conditioning with Team 7 since she had gotten reassigned.

More than once, Aiko found herself wondering how her genin were doing—and wasn't that a funny way for her to think of a group of kids her age? Still, she couldn't help but feel protective. If her foreknowledge was worth half a damn, shit was going to get serious soon.

The thought made her glum. Through sheer luck (and the fact that someone had tattled on her for having a decent working relationship with the occasionally terrifying Mitarashi Anko) she had gotten the one assignment that would place her sort-of close to team 7 when they encountered Orochimaru, but there was likely jack shit that she could do. There would be serious diplomatic repercussions if there was any hint of favoritism on her part—her career would pretty much be over. No one would trust her on a mission above C-class importance.

Besides all that, there was approximately zero chance that she could help fight off a sannin anyways. The one thing she kept wondering:

'Are they really in danger anyways?'

As far as she knew, Orochimaru wouldn't kill any of them. That was largely out of selfishness. He wanted Sasuke alive, and that meant someone had to watch out for him while he was assimilating the curse seal. There was absolutely zero chance that any of them would have escaped if he really wanted them dead.

She could only conclude that if things went predictably, her otouto and her team would not be in life-threatening danger. That was a pretty big 'if' to work with, however.

The issue was further complicated by the fact that she was starting to like Sasuke. It was hard to cold-bloodedly choose not to interfere in an attack on his person that would irrevocably change his personality, body, and put him in danger when she actually knew the kid. He was actually sweet underneath all the prickles—he would have done well in his family's police force. Sasuke seemed to want to protect people. The obsession with power wasn't really present yet.

Sakura, on the other hand, Aiko wouldn't have minded throwing to the wolves. Whatever potential the girl had was still invisible at this point, obscured behind her obnoxious personality, simpering mannerisms, and hair-trigger temper.

Feeling snippy, Aiko closed the tub of wax she had been rubbing into her boots and moodily tossed it aside. She was thoroughly sick of being responsible, but she dutifully trudged off to the kitchen and pulled out rubber gloves, a white sanitary face mask and the herbs and agents she used for her paralytic. She started the non-toxic base in the pot reserved for this task before slipping on the mask and hanging the "Mixing chemicals, do not disturb" sign on her front door. Naruto would probably still be at training for several hours and she didn't often get other visitors, but it was better to be safe than be stuck paying someone's hospital bills.

While she worked, Aiko turned on the radio (a new and expensive acquisition she never would have been able to purchase on a genin salary). Then she turned it off. "I fucking hate the koto," she muttered bitterly, stirring a little more vigorously than was necessarily wise. The process was intimately familiar and incredibly boring. Measure, pour. Stir, simmer, adjust heat. Prepare ingredient and measure, stir, turn up heat until roiling boil.

The last of the concoction was being carefully funneled into glass vials when enthusiastic thudding on the staircase alerted her that her otouto was barreling up. Aiko rolled her eyes, wondering if it was even worth it to scold him when the door burst open. The dangerous chemicals were put away, yes, but she had literally just finished and hadn't taken down the sign yet. For all he could have known, he was walking into thick clouds of lethal poison.

"Don't you read?"

Aiko slipped the first two vials into her equipment pouch and tucked the others safely away in the cupboard before her otouto wandered into the kitchen looking cheerfully disheveled.

"Whatcha mean, oneesan?" She heard the sound of porcelain and turned to smack his hand just as it escaped from the jar, cookie in hand. He flopped down into his chair, stretching back with both hands over his head so that the front legs came off the ground.

She sighed, rinsing her pot and setting it in the sink. "I had a note on the door that you shouldn't come in. Naruto, you need to pay attention. I was working with dangerous chemicals." She pulled the door open and ripped off her note before locking back up, setting down a quick genjutsu and kunai trap while she was at it. It was a little early to set up the nightly traps, but she might as well since they were both home early. It wasn't quite eight pm.

Frankly, she was tired of her current assignment and just wanted to get the stupid exam over with. It was now nine days until it started, which meant that the final preparations were being done in the next couple of days before foreigners started to arrive. She completely anticipated getting bit at least once by the rest of the exotic animals they were herding around in the forest.

 

"Why does it matter? I'm fine, aren't I?" Despite the pout she heard in his voice, Aiko wasn't willing to let it go. She rather frivolously used shunshin to position herself behind him and gave him a nougie, refusing to let go even when he shrieked and wiggled. "Hey, cut it out!"

"Then don't be such a butt!" A downright shocking amount of dirt and assorted filth fell out of his hair and gently drifted to the ground. She grimaced. "Oh, that's gross. Go wash yourself, stinky."

"Am not!"

"How would you know?" She slipped her hands to the back of his chair and pushed forward so that all four feet were on the ground. "I bet you can't even smell yourself over the sound of how loud you are."

"…wait, what?"

"You heard me."

________________________________________  
"Who are you?"

Aiko narrowed her eyes at her idiot of a teacher. "Oh sorry, I forgot about your late-stage Alzheimers. I take it the treatment isn't going well."

"I suppose I wouldn't know." Kakashi calmly scanned his book.

Aiko, Sasuke and Sakura rolled their eyes in unison, getting to their feet/ jumping down from his tree. The wait for their sensei had been especially long today, which was more than a little annoying. Naruto had already lost interest in the conversation and was fidgeting, ready to get to work. It was the day before the exam—the culmination of what both groups had been working towards. Anko had laughed at Aiko when she showed up at her house that morning ("Idiot, take the day off").

"Well?" Sakura demanded, looking at her teacher. "How are you going to torment us today?"

Mildly surprised, Aiko gave the girl a once-over. Kakashi must have been especially mean in the month she'd been too busy to come to team practices in order to put her in the kind of mood where she'd abandon her thin veneer of politeness without provocation.

"Yeah, old man." Naruto bounded over, practically vibrating with excess energy. "A race or a free-for-all or maybe we can do that jutsu competition again! I'll kick the bastard's ass this time, 'ttbayo!"

If she hadn't been looking, she might have missed the twitch Sasuke suppressed.

"Mah," the man sighed, still not looking at any of them. "Actually, I just wanted to tell you we have no practice today."  
The field was completely silent.

As if he was alone, Kakashi quietly mused, "Why does everyone call me old?"

"You made us wait four hours to tell us that there was no practice today," Sakura said, tone somewhere between incredulous and calm rage, ignoring his rumination.

Naruto's eye twitched rapidly and his cheeks started to fill with color. Sasuke and Aiko merely exchanged tired glances- why were those two so surprised? The enormous overreactions had ceased to be cute a long time ago.

"Mmhm. I just wanted to be sure you three had a nice, relaxing day before your test tomorrow." He casually raised a hand. "Bye." In a poof of foul-smelling smoke (and he could totally control that, he didn't have to make it so unpleasant) the figure that she now knew had been a clone dispersed. He was probably giggling miles away.

'Maybe that's what the giggles usually mean,' she thought crabbily. 'When he laughs it's because he's tormenting someone from a distance. It would explain a lot.'

Then Aiko sighed. 'If he isn't going to be an adult and make sure they're ready for the test, I'll do it.'

The three genin turned with varying levels of excitement when she clapped her hands decisively. "Alright then. We're going to hang out at my apartment."

Sakura's eyes flickered to Sasuke and she started to open her mouth—doubtlessly to make excuses and ask Sasuke to hang out alone. She stopped when Aiko turned a glare on her, then scanned the other two just as sternly. "We are having fun time," she said calmly. "Fun time is mandatory. I want the two of you to pack everything you think you will need for your tests tomorrow and meet in front of the red apartment complex on Tobirama and sixth in fifteen minutes, twenty for Sakura since she lives further away. If you aren't there, I will come and get you. Go now."

All three genin dashed away. Alone in the field, Aiko gave a yawn and slowly sauntered home. 'Why do they seem to think I have authority over them?' Her field authority ended when they weren't interacting in an official capacity.

Even Sakura made it within the allotted fifteen minutes, toting a heavy bag and a short stack of hair ties on her thin wrist. Aiko gave that concession a nod of approval—it was unusually practical for her, but still appreciated. The boys had packed lighter. They settled into the living room for Aiko to check it over. While Sakura pretended not to look at the pictures on the walls (all either photographs of the two of them, Kakashi or Ino or sketches) Sasuke slinked in looking spectacularly uncomfortable in the domestic setting.

"Naruto, make tea please." Aiko unzipped the first pack, checking the contents by feel.

"Uh, yeah." He picked his way to the kitchen and uncertainly rustled through the tins of tea. "Any preferences?"

Sasuke remained silent, so Naruto shrugged and made Sakura's pick. With her legs curled under the table and her back to the couch, Aiko bit her lower lip in thought. "Sasuke, did you intentionally leave out smoke pellets?"

"I've never used them,' he pointed out. Aiko tilted her head in thought, counting his soldier pills.

"Yes, but it's always good to be able to make a quick escape if a fight isn't worth your time and you're on a schedule."  
He slowly cocked his head. "Is that a hint," he asked dryly, the slightest tinge of humor in his voice.  
Aiko felt her face flushing. 'Oh, crap. I guess it was a little bit of a giveaway.'

"Definitely not," she said a little too weakly to be convincing, leaning her head forward to hide behind a curtain of hair. The follow-up huff of amusement let her know that he didn't buy it, but he dropped the topic. He wasn't very chatty anyways.  
Sakura and Naruto fell into their usual bumbling comedy act, shouting, whining, and shaking fists (Sakura, Naruto and then Sakura again, respectively) while the tea steeped and Aiko supplemented Naruto's pack with some really nasty explosive tags. Then she thought better of that and handed them to Sasuke.

"Here you go." Naruto clanked down four cups of tea and collapsed to the floor criss-cross applesauce. Sakura leaned forward for a cup and gingerly settled onto a corner of the couch, looking uncertain and shy.

With a sigh, Aiko closed the last pack and set them by the door. "You're all good to go for tomorrow. I just wanted to be sure. Alright." She beamed at the three genin in her front room. "We're going to spend the night together so no one is late. Can't hurt to do some last-minute bonding, right? Anyone hungry?"

Naruto semi-frantically cleaned up the restroom while Sakura went on a run for fresh vegetables clutching a wad of Aiko's money. She set a sullen-faced brunette to work cutting and seasoning meat while she hummed, clearing the table of all seal ink and other assorted mess.  
________________________________________  
"Sasuke… you're going to make a great housewife for some guy."

The brunette made a violent jab for Naruto with his chopsticks, missing only because the blonde leaned back to pat his belly in a satisfied manner.

"Take it as a compliment," Sakura advised. "This is amazing!" The pink-haired girl practically had stars in her eyes.  
'She would have thought it was amazing no matter what,' Aiko thought dryly. 'It was made by her precious Sasuke-kun. Can't help but notice that I'm getting no credit.'

There was some truth to Sakura's claim, however. "If only I had known you could cook like this earlier…" Aiko gave a long, luxurious stretch. The brunette turned his face away abruptly, but both girls could see the flush on his neck. They exchanged a rare, smug smile. "Hey Naruto, take care of the dishes."

"Why me?" he protested crossly, swinging back up.

The three kids who had worked on dinner simultaneously raised one eyebrow- the left for Sasuke and Sakura, the right on Aiko.  
He scoffed. "Ugh, fine." With a clatter he gathered up the dirty plates and trudged off to the kitchen.

The room was momentarily awkward. Aiko felt like rolling her eyes- none of them knew how to interact outside of training and missions. 'How did Sakura get stuck with an entire team of socially awkward weirdoes?' Unfortunately, that category included herself, so she didn't really know how to break up the tension.

The girl might have been wondering the same thing.

"Ah, Aiko-san, thank you for helping us get ready." She inclined her head politely, and when the light caught green eyes on the way back up and glittered Aiko suddenly saw just what her otouto found so appealing about this girl.

"You're welcome, Sakura-chan. I'm really hoping all goes well for you three tomorrow." Her tone was a little wistful when she added, "I'm really hoping to get some good missions again. This last month has kind of been a bummer."

Sasuke snorted indelicately. "Couldn't possibly have been much worse than what Kakashi put us through." If anyone else had said that, Sakura would probably have protested. As it was, she merely looked a little uncomfortable.

"Sasuke-kun is right!" she declared. "I think he gets way too much fun out of tormenting us."

"You wanna bet?" Aiko asked jokingly. "I bet I have worse Sensei stories than you do."

Even Sakura looked skeptical. Aiko waved a hand sincerely. "No, really, it's true. You guys are benefitting from him having two years experience training a subordinate. When he first became my teacher… It was bad. Has he had you break into other ninja's houses yet?"

Big green eyes went even wider. "Isn't that illegal," Sakura asked, sounding scandalized.

________________________________________

Aiko curled and uncurled her toes inside her nice, warm boots, cursing the chilly morning air that raised goosebumps along her uncovered arms. She was the only one stationed in the central tower. Anko was likely running last minute preparations before she went to collect the ducklings from Ibiki.

Static hissed in her headset and she grimaced, pulling it slightly away from her ear. Not so much that she couldn't hear if someone else got on the frequency, however. She was one of only a few on that channel for the day, along with Anko and a squad that would be circling the training ground to make sure nothing got out of hand. Hours passed. Her headset clicked on and Anko's voice filtered through, sounding tinny.

"Midgets are on the move."

A male voice crackled on. "Mitarashi-san, you are supposed to say 'over' when you are finished transmitting. Over."

"Suck some big hairy balls, over."

Aiko snorted, and then gave a quick look around to make sure no one had heard. She was still alone. The sun had crawled along the skyline and at least an hour had passed before she heard signs of human life in person (the occasional reports on her headset didn't count. It was a mostly boring, methodical 'check in-check out' deal). Curious at who had made it to the tower so early, Aiko swung her legs over the railing of the curved staircase that lead all the way up to the top of the tower and allowed herself to go into a free falls head first, appreciating the feeling of air whipping over her face. She flipped midair to kick off of the wall and jump under the partial ceiling into the entry way.

Two of the three kids standing there looked at her curiously. Aiko grinned, leaning forward cheekily. "Hey, Kunoichi-san, shinobi-san! I remember you from Suna, two years ago. Whose your cute friend?"

The blonde who could only be Temari turned a thoroughly unbecoming shade of red.

'This is probably a really stupid idea,' she thought happily. 'Teasing Gaara is a downright awful idea.' It was awful… and she loved it.

Her fellow redhead turned to look at her for the first time (and he was REALLY a redhead, not like Kankuro's reddish brown). Well. It was more of a 'glare' than a 'look', she decided, popping her gum. Semantics.

"You're the first team in. I take it this was no trouble, then?"

"Mitarashi-san, we have trouble. Over."

Aiko stiffened, missing whatever Kankuro was saying. "Just a minute," she said distractedly, holding one hand to her ear to better position the headset. Temari gave her a rude look, turning away to confer with Kankuro about the scrolls. She heard the summoning go off, but didn't feel the urge to check her work.

"What is it, shitstain?"

"Bodies by the fifth gate, but they're like nothing I've ever seen. Their faces are just gone, like they melted off. I don't know who could do something like this. Over."

There was a long moment of silence on the headset and distracting chatter from whatever idiot chuunin had come to tell the sand kids they had passed. She crossed the room, listening intently, all but holding her breath.

"I do," Anko said, sounding more serious than Aiko had ever heard. She shivered. 'It's starting.' Aiko had been waiting anxiously, half-expecting that nothing would happen and the exam would go fine. "I want a full ANBU team. I'm heading in. That's Orochimaru's work, I bet anything. That fucker is in the forest."

Aiko clicked on her headset. "Permission to rendezvous, Mitarashi-san? Over."

"Fuck no," came the irritated reply. There was a short pause. Aiko found with mild surprise that her fingers were actually shaking where they were pressed against her fingers. "Actually, you can help. Soak the whole fucking forest and direct me to the biggest, baddest chakra signature in it."

"Understood, over."

She decisively turned her attention from the headset, surveying the room again. Kankuro was giving her a wary look as he trudged up the stairs behind his siblings. "Kunoichi-san!" Temari turned, a sneer on her face. "You and your team should be careful. We have an S-class criminal in the forest killing genin for some kami-forsaken reason." As the girl blanched, Aiko leapt ahead of the group, taking the stairs at a sprint, planning on going to the very top level. "Could I get your help for a moment?"

"You need my help in the shower room," Temari said flatly, looking almost literally deflated. It apparently wasn't the action she'd hoped for. Aiko ignored the attitude, leaping to the window and drawing her fist back to punch once, twice, and it shattered on the third blow, exploding mostly out into the forest. "Hey, what the hell-"

"Turn on all the faucets. Now." Aiko kicked the last bit of glass out from the edges and grabbed the sides, ignoring how it cut into her hands. "I'm going to siphon it outside. Leave it on and try to prevent flooding in the tower until I ask you to turn it off, okay?"

The other girl reluctantly followed directions, letting the water build up. Aiko flipped out onto the roof, landing on the roof like some kind of gargoyle. She took a long breath, and held, finding her center and preparing for a sustained technique. Then she reached for all the water below her, ripping it from the showers, drains, and speeding it out of the pipes. Something broke, but she calmly ignored Temari's shriek and subsequent cursing. She whipped her arms out to the sides, sweat forming as she accumulated a massive glob of liquid in front of her and infused it with her chakra.

Then she made it rain, all the way out to the gates and stretching into Konoha proper for good measure. Chakra signatures ping-ping-pinged on her radar- familiar and unfamiliar, ANBU, Anko, a veritable fuck ton of weak little genin, her brother… and.

"Holy shit."

Aiko clicked on her headset. "Anko, thirty degrees west of your position, about a mile out." Her voice cracked. "He's with my brother's team."

 


	14. Blood in the Water

In the belly of the beast, Naruto struggled. He couldn't get a grip on the snake's slick insides to force his way back to the mouth…

'Why would I want to go back to the mouth? Poisonous fangs that way.'

If he couldn't get out through the hole that already existed, he'd have to make one. His only blades were kunai, though. Cutting that way would take too long. He'd be severely burnt by that point. That in mind, he pulled the one explosive tag he'd been allowed with trembling fingers, despite his restricted state. He kept it close to his chest to keep as much slime off of it as possible, and then stuffed it in his left glove for the same purpose.

"Let's hope I can give it right amount of charge." He'd never been good at using the least amount of chakra possible. Naruto had always been best at making enormous explosions from even cheap tags. But that would kill him in these confined quarters. He grimaced against the pain of the stomach acid around him and wiggled as far in one direction as he could before hooking the glove around his last kunai… which he then drove as far as possible into the side of the beast.

It was hard to tell, but the sinuous rocking movement he'd been feeling seemed to get more violent. Naruto grimaced, wishing for air, and reached his hand through the hole he'd pierced to touch the end of the kunai, feeling wet meat around his hand, stretching and convulsing… and then he lit up just the one finger that touched the ringed end of his kunai with the lightest tinge of neutral chakra.

________________________________________

"I can't wait any more…"

Aiko bit clean through her lower lip, blood wetting her chin and mixing with the cold rain. She flipped to look into the bathroom, startling Temari. "You can turn them off. Thank you."

Before the girl could respond, Aiko straightened and bounded over the treetops to where she felt that monstrous chakra that nearly obscured team seven's signatures. Anko was mere moments away from reaching them, an ANBU team hot on her heels.  
"Anko, I'm coming."

She didn't get a reply. The older girl was doubtlessly a little preoccupied.

________________________________________

Sakura whined through her teeth, eyes frantic in her skull. She didn't have the time to brush her now-wild hair out of her face, and if she did it would be more likely that she would use the time to address the freely bleeding wound in her shoulder. She had been forced to pull out the kunai pinning her to the tree in order to escape the next hit.

Something twinged in her knee when she bounced off a tree trunk and struggled to get upright, working desperately to clear the area that was being torn apart by whatever the hell that jutsu was. She blinked back tears of pain and fear, feeling cold on the back of her neck.

'This guy… he's a monster! He's no genin.' 

She hadn't seen Naruto in almost three minutes- not a very long time in normal circumstances, but seeing as he'd disappeared just before the scariest fight of her life against someone who was obviously toying with Sasuke-kun (and that meant he was far out of her league), she was fucking terrified that he was already dead.

'I can't think about that now!' She strained her muscles, fighting her way through debris and wind that cut and tongues of fire towards her other teammate - what a terrible time for the rain to suddenly stop, but at least nothing was catching fire. She could barely see his silhouette through the mess—he was standing too close, far too close to their monstrous opponent.  
Sakura had to have been hallucinating, though, because it looked like his fucking head popped off attached to a taffy neck and stretched out to kiss Sasuke. Inanely, she couldn't help but think, 'You jackass, Sasuke's first kiss was supposed to be mine.' Even though that couldn't be what had happened, and Sasuke's knees were buckling under. She launched off to catch his prone body, muscles screaming, opponent forgotten. That was Sasuke falling. She couldn't let Sasuke fall.

Out of the corner of her eye, it seemed that the man was slowly turning to look at her with a flash of yellow eyes. Couldn't be. No one had yellow eyes. She grit her teeth and reached, ready to grab Sasuke and spring away, she saw someone coming in hot nearby, seconds away, she had backup she was going to be fine and she could find Naruto no baka and hit him for scaring her like that and everything would be fine, it would…

"How annoying," Orochimaru hissed, snatching the little brat right out of the air and ripping out the front of her neck in one smooth motion, stunned green eyes staring up at the warm spray of blood that resulted. Then he let go. The little corpse fell, colliding unpleasantly with tree branches in a tragic flop of soft white limbs and crashing through damp leaves, sending water droplets flying like jewels. "Anko-chan, I didn't expect you to come and ruin my fun so quickly. Did you miss your sensei?"  
Anko bared her teeth, determinedly not looking at the tiny body crumpled and awkwardly hanging in the thick underbrush below, swaying slightly from the force of the fall she had just barely arrived too late to prevent. "You evil fucker," she hissed right back. "Don't mock me! You left me like trash. But you're not getting away this time."

Amusement was in every sinuous line of his body. "Oh really," he purred, slipping on a pleasant smile like a mask.  
"Yes." She settled the now-unconscious Uchiha boy in the crook of the tree so that he didn't fall, keeping both eyes on Orochimaru. He placidly let her. Unease prickled at the back of her neck- why hadn't he killed this one too? Where was the third kid?

"Did you see the present I gave Sasuke-kun?" the conversational tone made her jerk unpleasantly, feeling as if her skin was pulling and slipping off. 'No, no, no, not another, no no no'… "Don't be jealous, but it's much better than yours."

Her hand instantly clapped onto her seal, where it seemed as if her skin and the muscle and the bone they were on fire and how could she move or even breathe… She gritted her teeth through the pain and pushed it away, flinging a brace of kunai to break his concentration.

It didn't work, but the four man ANBU squad that burst through the treeline baring steel like teeth did distract him a bit… just as a little blonde head bounded into the clearing and took in the tableau.

"Kid!" She hollered. "Grab your teammate up here and get the fuck out, to the tower. Forget the exam."

Orochimaru frowned, dodging the first volley, ducking and weaving between two short swords, some bitch spitting lightning and almost right into the spray of senbon Anko flung. In a flash of movement she barely caught, one of the ANBU was sent jerking violently to collide with a tree trunk.

"What happened to the bastard?" The blonde boy pulled desperately at his teammate. "Wake up, asshole!" His voice broke. "You've gotta help me find Sakura-chan."

Anko flinched, shunshining away from the bright green snake that shot for her face. "Kid, ain't nobody that can help that little girl anymore. Get your friend the fuck out of here! Your sister will meet you. She's close."

"I can't leave her!" he shouted. She grimaced, glancing involuntarily down, down, down to where the little girl with the red dress had fallen. His eyes tracked hers and widened in comprehension, then disbelief.

There was no way to mistake that for unconsciousness.

She didn't have time to deal with his panic attack- no time to cope with his screams of pain that quickly turned to howls of rage. She made time to turn to check when red, red chakra that was sickeningly familiar and almost as traumatizing as that sickly green-black chakra that she had used to admire so much. Wide eyed, she took just one glance at the crouched figure shrouded in unnatural, shit-your-pants-scary demonic chakra.

"Oh ho ho ho. What's thissssss."

"None of your damn business," she barked, rejoining the fight with a fury. That fucker wasn't taking her seriously!

And then he was gone. No shunshin that she saw, no sprint, nothing. He was just gone.

"What the fuck," a confused tenor voice breathed from under a porcelain mask. "Orders, Mitarashi-san?"

She grunted, surveying the situation again. "Escort those two kids to the tower, right now. I'm going to find Hokage-sama."  
Her earpiece flickered on. "What's going on, Anko? I can't sense Orochimaru."

She sighed, feeling the adrenaline flood out. Wearily, she put one hand to her head to turn her headset on. "He's gone. I have your brother. He'll be heading to the tower. If you know how, I'd contact that sensei of yours." Dark eyes flickered to the crumpled figure curled into the tree. "I think he's the best seal master in town." She snorted derisively. "Not saying much."  
________________________________________

Aiko clenched her fist around her brother's still hand, back hurting from her leaning position over the hospital bed. They'd been forced to tranquilize him to keep him from wrecking the place up.

She felt numb.

Shouldn't she had been able to do something about this?

'No, no, no,' her mind insisted. 'I couldn't have predicted this. No one could have predicted this. And no one will ever know that I should have known, should have known.'

His little hand was warm in hers. She could feel his heart beat through her fingers.

'Sakura doesn't have a heartbeat,' something traitorous whispered. 'Cold, dead, in the forest. They'll get her in the morning, they said. No hurry, no hurry.'

The door opened and closed quietly. She didn't have to look up to know that her teacher was staring out the window, fingers probably still stained with ink from the emergency sealing he had just performed. She let Naruto's hand slip from her and walked over to wrap her arms around her sensei's waist, burying her face into his flak jacket. He didn't react.

Aiko breathed deeply, searching for something familiar in the warm scent. She knew he used the same weapon polish, but she couldn't pick the scent out at all. He just smelled warm and safe.

Slowly, reluctantly one trembling hand rested gently against her back. For a man of his caliber, the shaking was almost as telling as the fact that he reached for reassurance, no matter how minor.

They waited as the day fled into night, shadows chasing slowly over white sheets on hospital beds.

Sasuke woke up a few hours before Naruto did, just about when she had finally steeled herself to asking if anyone had talked to Sakura's parents ('and told them that she's dead in the leaves, one little leaf in a forest').

"Ugh." The groan caught both of their attention. Aiko untangled herself from the blanket on her shoulders and pushed aside the curtains around Sasuke's bed. He blinked up at her blearily, one hand attached to the base of his neck like a vise. "What happened," he rasped. "That man, in the forest. Who was he?"

"Orochimaru of the Sannin," Kakashi stated quietly, one dark eye intent on the waking boy's reactions. "He…"

"Sakura's dead," Aiko said abruptly. Too abruptly. There was no way to sugar coat that. It would be a waste of time to try. She fell back into the chair beside his bed, pulling her legs up to her chest. "Dead dead dead in the forest."

Her teacher gave her an alarmed look. 'No need,' she thought. 'I'm fine, I was never near him. Don't look at me don't look.'

The brunette pulled in a long, slow, pained breath. "I see." The words were quiet. "And… and Naruto?"

"He's in that bed," sensei pointed to the adjoining room. "He had to be sedated."

Aiko stared at her knees.

"How?" The word had the most emotion she had ever heard in Sasuke's voice before. It wasn't grief, but it was something.  
"I wasn't there," sensei said quietly. "I don't know."

"She can't breathe." She said abruptly. "Not without a throat. They left her. We left her. Sensei, are we going to go back and get her?" She hadn't seen it happen, of course. The ANBU had been attempting to calm Naruto down when she arrived. If she had been looking, she would have seen Sasuke's face turn green.

"Aiko, why don't you lie down. I think Sasuke could use a cuddle." He didn't even glare at the man. Sensei patted her head. "I'm going to go talk to the Hokage.

"Okay." Blearily, she untucked her legs and climbed into the bed. Silently, her teammate slid over to give her room underneath the covers. "I'm not tired, you know."  
"Hn." Sasuke rolled over to stare at the ceiling.

"I never liked her." He turned his head a little to look at her. She was staring at the place where the wall and ceiling met, eyes dull and almost impassive. "I thought she was annoying and that she didn't take her career seriously. But she was just a little girl." She licked dry lips, weighing the next words. "She was going to get better. She was going to realize that her job was important and she was going to do well. But now she won't. If I'd been better-"

"Shut up." Sasuke wearily closed his eyes, pushing back the strange pain on the juncture of his neck and shoulder that no one had explained yet. He'd thought that freak – Orochimaru, he would remember that name, he would kill that man too because Sasuke didn't care when someone was out of his league, he'd always been second best or worse and he'd never let that stop him before – Anyway, he'd thought that freak had bit him there. Was that really a dream, or did it happen? He didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to think about the man who had beat him around like an Academy brat with laughter on his tongue. And he didn't want to think that the man had killed Sakura.

Weak, pathetic, annoying Sakura. Annoying Sakura who had spent more time on her hair than her kunai. Sakura who had followed him around with stars in her eyes like he was someone worth looking up to. Sakura who had picked all those fights with the idiot for his sake even though he definitely didn't need the help. She'd been weak. Soft. Kind, when it suited her. Bright and innocent.

He pushed away the hurt with the ease of long practice, compartmentalizing the new pain with the old pain that belonged to the little boy in his mind who screamed, screamed, screamed 'why'. The girl beside him turned onto her side and tangled cold fingers into the front of his shirt. He let her. It was weakness, but even Sasuke could forgive a little weakness in the dark.  
________________________________________

Kakashi stood in his shower, head bowed. He'd had to get out of that room. That made three out of three students that he would be referring to the mental health division for a short break. Apparently Aiko wasn't as ready for trauma as he'd thought.

'Am I cursed?' He slowly raised one shaking hand to look at it. 'How the hell did I manage to get another teammate killed? I wasn't even there.'

The drain turned into a whirlpool, sucking out all the liquid and the oxygen and leaving only steam for him to breathe. He didn't mind.

He had already been to a briefing- it wasn't his briefing, but the Hokage had let him linger while someone talked about broken records and a flood in the tower all the way down to the first floor and faceless Rain ninja and a group of Sound ninja that definitely hadn't been genin who had attacked and been killed by the ANBU that swept the forest to make sure everything was clear. They had extracted one unconscious group of students as well as one girl whose teammates were dead. She was in the hospital somewhere, probably scared and alone. He didn't care. He had enough to care about.

Someone had already been sent to retrieve his student's body and arrange it a little more respectfully in case her civilian parents wanted it. They would be contacted in the morning. No use in making them lose sleep.

'I put a twelve year old on the mission stone. That's a new low.'

The night had been a bad one, on all counts.

________________________________________  
Karin Uzumaki stared out her hospital window with wide, red eyes. She'd never been in a room like this before. But then, Konoha was famous for the quality of their medicine, and an orphan like her wouldn't have merited the best her village had to offer anyway.

Her team was dead.

She tried out the thought, remembering the terror she had felt when she realized she was alone in that forest of horrible animals and acid traps, being herded along the river to enemies she could feel but not avoid. It was slightly worse than being in the forest with her teammates, who at least couldn't kill her until the task was over.

If she wasn't so unsure about what was going to happen to her now, she'd be happy she had escaped her teammates. But they were going to kill her if she dared return without them. She had been the mere filler meant to allow the real nin to take the exam in sissy Konoha that would only accept full teams.

One slim hand pressed to her stomach to quiet the rumbling within. She'd been hustled in quickly and efficiently, treated with a pretty glowing hand technique that sealed up all her hurts and erased the splinter break in her shin bone… until they got to the paperwork and found out her name. Karin had no idea why the nurse had been so skeptical, but she had abruptly left the room and started a conversation with someone Karin couldn't see.

"May I come in, Uzumaki-san?"

She jumped a little, and gave the door a suspicious look. "O-of course."

The hand that opened the door was wrinkled, aged, and attached to a face that even she knew. Her face burnt. "H-Hokage-san!" The title was insufficient, but she couldn't refer to a foreign nin as 'sama'. They would skin her alive back home in grass.  
The fact that she had been brought in by Orochimaru-sama himself wouldn't matter—he was far too busy to pay much attention to a genin he'd rescued years ago. The old man didn't seem to mind the mild disrespect. He merely smiled at her.  
"Forgive me, but when I heard we had an Uzumaki in the hospital, I had to see. The family resemblance is undeniable, young lady."

"W-what?"

"You didn't know?" He indicated for her to follow. "You have the Uzumaki look about you, especially your hair. I think you look even more Uzu than the Uzumaki we have in Konoha."

Her heart stopped. "My family is from Konoha?" She knew nothing about her family. She'd always been a foreigner and an orphan- twice cursed.

"Not originally, no. But Konoha has a long history with the Uzumaki. The wife of one of our founding fathers was an Uzumaki, as well as the late Kushina-chan, who you might know as the Bloody Habanero."

Karin shook her head slowly. "I don't know who that it."

"She very nearly became the fourth Hokage."

Red eyes went wide. Her family sounded kind of awesome. Her family. That was a new phrase.

"Forgive an old man his rambling. Tell me, would you accompany me for a late dinner? I'm afraid I was working late."  
________________________________________

Ino eyed the other blonde kunoichi with distaste. There was just no excuse for hair like that- it looked like straw. The Suna nin gave a smirk in return.

"Ino, if you're done asserting your dominance, they're going to start talking soon." She rolled her eyes at her grumpy teammate.

"Don't be ridiculous, Shikamaru. Not everyone is here yet. We couldn't possibly have beat Sasuke-kun's team in, even if he is slowed down by Forehead girl and Naruto." She raised up onto her toes, scanning the crowd for that shock of black hair.  
The tall boy standing by the kunoichi she'd been glaring at gave a snicker. "It's funny when we know more than the natives," he drawled. "You mean the team with the irritatingly loud blonde, right? Don't you know? That team is disqualified."

Ino reddened. "W-what? You take that back! No way."

Teal eyes flashed with amusement, and she heard the other girl's voice for the first time. "Kankuro, play nice. I'm sure she knows what she's talking about." She jerked her head. "Let's go." With a scuff of sandals, the two followed their red-headed teammate to the room where the genin were gathering to hear results.

Chouji shrugged. "It's possible," he offered, caught between being the voice of reason and the peacekeeper. "Naruto could have peeked at a scroll or something. That wouldn't be Sasuke's fault at all."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Troublesome. Who cares?" He shuffled off, quickly followed by her other male teammate. Ino gave one last look around the room and gave up her search as a bad job. 'I'm sure I'll see him soon.'

But team 7 was nowhere to be seen. They sidled up next to their year mates uneasily. Hinata seemed worried too: she had actually activated her Byakugan to search.

"There's only one Konoha team missing," she whispered. "I don't see them anywhere."

Konoha had done very well in the second task—other teams had apparently been overwhelmed by the native flora and fauna.  
A cough. "Unfortunately, there are too many teams. We are going to have to have an elimination round."

Ino cursed, bouncing up onto Shikamaru's shoulders so that she could see what was going on. The speaker looked like he was about to fall over from a wasting disease. She wrinkled her nose distastefully.

'Getting through this exam was tough enough. I don't think my team is ready to fight again already.'

They'd nearly gotten their butts handed to them by that Rain team using genjutsu… Shikamaru had spotted it, but it was still close. They had been desperate- it had been the last day and they hadn't so much as seen another team… Aside from the incident where they hid in the bushes and watched that Suna kunoichi's teammate crush an entire grass team alive. She shuddered a little.

'Four Konoha teams, the Sand team, and one Rain… Unless Konoha loses all our fights, we'll be dominating the Finals.' She gave a slightly feral grin. 'That makes 9 matches…'

And as if by divine providence, her match was first. She strutted into the ring… and then deflated at the sight of her opponent. 'He looks so weird!' She didn't have a problem with the color green, exactly, but this fellow leaf nin apparently had terrible taste in everything. 'He desperately needs my help. I hope he fights better than he dresses.'

The boy she was to fight slid into a serious position, left hand upraised and just a hint of a blush across his cheeks. "I am honored by this fight, Yamanaka-san!"

She sighed. 'He's not great at trash talk, either.' "Let's go already!"

Ino was the best kunoichi of her class. She had always been praised for her aggression, creative taijutsu (honed by practice against a real genin for two whole years) and comparative body strength.

But this kid gently, smoothly deflected or flowed around everything she threw at him. She caught a glimpse of one of the Rain nin looking nervous about the quality of genin that Konoha produced. She was starting to feel pretty nervous, too. If she were Shikamaru, this would be where she came up with a clever plan, or used weaponry or something. But she wasn't the planner, and her taijutsu was the strongest non-lethal tool she had. She didn't want to actually hurt a fellow leaf-nin with kunai.

Ino forced herself a little faster, burning desperately to get at least one hit in. The world was a blur around her. She was more insulted than anything that her opponent was clearly avoiding actually fighting her- at the speed he moved, he could have ended the fight already if he actually tried to hit her.

As if he heard her, Rock (and was a silly name, thought the girl named Pig) flew forward in a whirlwind of limbs. "You fought well, Yamanaka-san, but now it is my turn. Konoha Senpu!"

The next thing she knew was waking up groggily to the sight of her teacher. "Did anyone catch the wagon that ran me over?" She sat up, swaying slightly.

"No, but you missed two fights." The scent of salty bbq floated through the air. "You know the guy who beat you? His female teammate beat Kiba, and then that blonde Suna nin you were growling at beat their last teammate."

"Ha, at least one of his teammates bit it," she muttered bitterly. "Who is next?"

"The tallest Suna nin and one of the Leaf genin from the oldest team. Yoroi or something."

The Suna nin won, thoroughly confusing the genin who screeched something about his chakra stealing abilities failing. By the time the next match was announced she could sit up unassisted, which was good because Shikamaru was fighting one of the three Rain nin. He drew the match out for absolutely forever, but eventually won.

"Go Hinata!" Kiba yelled raucously, somehow seeming unaffected by his recent ass-kicking. "He's the shortest kid here!"  
Ino winced when she saw the match-up… Hinata was facing that red-headed boy who she had seen gleefully kill an entire team. "I don't like this," she muttered. Asuma gave her an indulgent smile.

"Have more faith in your fellow leaf nin. I'm sure the Hyuuga girl is strong."

Ino rolled her eyes. "Hinata is pretty good, but that guy…" she shuddered. "He killed an entire team in the forest and laughed."  
Her teacher scratched his head. "I'm sure she'll be fine. If it looks bad, I'll jump in, okay?"

It did get bad, and she was glad he made that promise. When the mediator tried to stop the match, she shoved at her teacher. Just in time, he grabbed up Hinata and pulled her away from the floating cloud of sand creeping up her arms. The screams were horrible.

Beside Ino, even Shikamaru was pale. "Her hands…" They were a bloody, mangled mess. Mutters of discontent fluttered throughout the small crowd. It looked like she was never going to be able to write again, much less fight. A laugh went up from the tallest Suna nin, the creep in all the facepaint.

The next matches were pretty subdued—Shino drained all of Chouji's chakra and won, a rain nin beat the silver-haired Konoha nin with glasses, and the last Rain nin won her match against the last team mate from the oldest Konoha team.

"Well, I guess that's it.." Ino went to get up, but was stopped by her teacher.

"Hold on." He didn't seem to notice he still had Hinata's blood on his sleeves. "They're going to announce the match-ups ahead of time. We should hear Shikamaru's before we go."

Shikamaru groaned after the first round was announced. "I'm the first match?"

Ino elbowed him. "At least you get to beat up that jackass who laughed at Hinata." She glared across the room. "And you had better!" She scoffed. "I'm already mad that I'm going to have to cheer for the weirdo who beat me. I hate that Sand girl more."  
"I wouldn't want to be that panda girl," Chouji muttered.

Ino shuddered. "Agreed. And having to wait til the last round? Talk about pressure."

The girl in question merely looked determined to fight the redhead. Ino would have given up. No point in dying in some stupid competition.

________________________________________  
"Haruno-san? May I come in? I need to have a talk with you about your daughter."


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Asuma barely noticed when his female genin grabbed the boy who'd beat her by the collar and started scolding him – something about how she couldn't be seen in public after having been defeated by someone with eyebrows like that and she was going to drag him directly to the salon because he had to avenge Hinata in the finals and she didn't want her Sand-y rivals to think Konoha nin didn't know how to dress – Okay, so he noticed more than a little. That was part of being an elite ninja.  
One of the other things he had noticed was that Kakashi's team was missing and no one seemed to know why. That detail was strange.

His team had been slated for success, after all. He had the top genin, the jinchuuriki, and a prissy little civilian girl (just so that it wasn't too easy to mold them into unstoppable killing machines, presumably). Besides that, he had a ready-made teaching assistant who couldn't tell him to fuck off, so there was really no reason that his team couldn't have been ready for this test, even if he couldn't be arsed to teach.

He wasn't going to be the one to break it to his genin until he knew for sure, but everyone above chuunin level and their freaking dog now knew that Orochimaru had been spotted in the forest of death… there were only so many reasons a man of his caliber might be interested in genin.

Since both Hyuuga in the crowd had showed up with all eyes present and intact (there had practically been a palpable sense of jounin counting eyeballs), as well as every other clan heir entered… well. Either the interest was in someone from one of the other villages (unlikely, a man like Orochimaru would have easily snatched them off the road and had a grudge against Konoha besides) or he had been looking for the red-eyed shit or the jinchuuriki.

A plan for his lone student in the finals in place and the others scheduled to meet for training tomorrow anyways, he made his way across town using the rooftops. He'd never given two shits about protocol, so Sarutobi didn't even bother to scold him for using the window.

"How nice to see you. Did you come to talk about something?" The old man didn't look up from his papers.

He didn't mince words. "What happened with that alert last night? Did Orochimaru get caught? And was Kakashi's team involved?"

His father sighed, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. "You know I can't gossip, Asuma. But as for your other question, we have not taken Orochimaru into custody. Hence why the alert is still active."

Asuma didn't bother to say goodbye, shunshin-ing to Kakashi's apartment. Ninja were nosy. It was part of the job description. He was of the opinion that you could never have too much information on a situation when the situation was that an S-class lunatic with a history of abducting clan members was in your village, even if you didn't have a team of three ankle-biter clan heirs to keep track of.

Hatake wasn't home, but apparently Gai had come to the same idea. The two men exchanged glances.

"My rival has not been seen since yesterday."

Asuma grunted. "The old man wouldn't talk about him or his team, so I'm pretty sure they got caught up with whatever happened in the forest yesterday."

Gai hmmd. "The hospital, then? We can see if he or, more likely, any of his youthful students have been checked in."

The thin-faced woman at the front desk didn't know anything about Kakashi, was tight-lipped about the Uchiha brat, but couldn't keep from scowling when asked if the jinchuuriki was in the hospital. Thoroughly tired of her shit, Asuma sauntered past, ready to search room by room. He headed to the second wing first- general admissions for mission sustained trauma. Gai caught up him, looking unduly guilty about slipping past the cranky civilian, but too worried for his friend to let the opportunity pass.

Asuma didn't really give two shits about Hatake himself- he was a comrade, yes, one he would fight and die for if it was required but otherwise didn't know, but he was more interested in what information the guy probably had. Gai, on the other hand, was probably Hatake's only real friend. They were both cripplingly awkward (as geniuses tend to be, Asuma had thought once) in completely opposite ways but they managed to patch together a friendship out of an endless competition over nothing. It was cute, in a way that was also setting new criteria for causing debilitating depression.

That in mind, he kept his mouth shut until they found a room with 'Uzumaki' on the paper outside the door. The blonde wasn't in his bed, but a quick check of the bed in the attached section behind the curtain revealed three out of Kakashi's four puppies cuddled up in bed, asleep.

Until they walked in, that was. The little redhead's eyes flipped open and she gave them both a dark look. If she hadn't been trapped under boy limbs, the chit might have gotten up. "What do you want?"

"How hip!" Gai somehow boomed in a hospital appropriate volume that still made Asuma cringe and the black-haired boy in the bed grumble in his drug-induced sleep, calming when his female teammate set a hand on his back.

"We're looking for Kakashi." No point in beating around the bush. It looked like Orochimaru hadn't had Uchiha or jinchuuriki on the menu after all- they were both breathing and in Konoha, so that was good. Worries assuaged, Asuma raised a hand in farewell. "Tell him we stopped by, hmm?" He left a few leaves flittering to the ground when he transported out.

Gai stayed, on the other hand. "Do you know where my most youthful rival can be found?" His dark eyes were uncharacteristically serious.

The girl bit her lower lip, which crackled with dried blood. "Wherever he goes when he needs to self-flagellate, I suppose. No doubt he's convinced himself that it's his fault an S-class criminal infiltrated an exam that his students were otherwise prepared for."  
Gai frowned. "I had heard of this most cowardly deed, but not why."

A tiny thumb pointed at the sleeping brunette. "He put some sort of seal on Sasuke's neck through a hickey of death, tried to feed Naruto to a snake, and ri- (a quick breath) – killed Sakura. I think he just rolled into town to fuck over team 7, basically."  
The jounin winced, both at the bad news and the cavalier way the girl tried to deliver it. Someone less familiar with the evasive tactics his rival employed whenever emotions reared their ugly head might have thought the girl was cold. He knew better. His rival had apparently managed to teach the girl more than just jutsu. It was a shame.

"I am sorry to hear that." He maintained a low, solemn tone. "I will deliver one hundred flowers to her home." He left off a condition for failing.

"Actually, that's a lovely idea," the girl said quietly. "Could I help? I think I like the idea of planting living flowers for her better, though. A little less ephemeral." He winced. Good point.

"Of course. Thank you for sharing this information, Aiko-chan. I will continue my search for my eternal rival."

"Did you check the stone?"

He shook his head. "Not yet. I had thought that he might still be caught up in current events. Goodbye."

Aiko yawned into the room where she was now the only person awake. 'Gai-san is very polite, isn't he? I wonder why we've never been properly introduced. He knew who I was.'

With a night's worth of sleep and several conscious hours to process information, she was feeling much more like herself. It took her a while to delicately untangle herself from the pile of sleeping boys but she managed, quirking a tiny smile at how they murmured and readjusted to cuddle each other once she was out of the bed. She didn't know when Naruto had crawled in, but all three of them had probably needed the human contact. That didn't mean that the boys wouldn't be horrified to wake up without her as a barrier from each other's cooties, of course.

She took a moment to hope that a nurse caught them so someone else could see how adorable they were, and another to hope that Kakashi had forgotten her little panic attack last night. It had been a stupid reaction. She didn't even like Sakura, after all, and her death had not been Aiko's fault.

The redhead physically bit the tip of her tongue to keep from savaging her lip any further. In lieu of thinking, she sauntered out of the room and down the immaculate, empty hallway.

'The terminology isn't exactly right, but is the 'plot' fucked over without Sakura? Was she really so important?' The hospital passed in a blur and became a damp, chill morning. She absently noticed that she had forgotten to put on her boots. 'I might have to take her place. Or am I thinking about this in the wrong way. Clearly, I can't assume things will turn out like the manga. My knowledge is useless, except as information about people's personalities and motives… even that can be subject to change.'  
Aiko grimaced.

'Fuck. This is all so messed up.'

________________________________________

As it turned out, her sensei did not conveniently forget about her panic attack. She was scheduled for a meeting with a combat psych specialist. It was an irritating waste of time and Aiko bluffed her way through it, being at least sane enough to know the right answers even if they weren't honest ones. Yes, she was grieving. It had been a shock. No, Haruno-san had not been a particularly close friend, but it had been the first time she had seen a dead comrade. She was anxious to serve her village.  
And so on.

It must have gone well enough, because she didn't get forced back for another one, unlike both of the boys. They were both years overdue for mental assessments, if she were to be honest.

She hadn't seen her sensei since he'd left the hospital less than 24 hours ago, but she had been cleared to return to training and the active lists after her evaluation. With her teammates still waiting to be cleared and her teacher missing, Aiko was working alone in training ground seven when Ino trotted up, dragging Rock Lee of all the people. She eyed the odd couple warily- Ino seemed pleased with herself and as if she was plotting, but that was normal. The boy behind her appeared to be missing half his eyebrows and had the vaguely concussed look she associated with people who had recently been subjected to the full force of Ino's personality for the first time.

'They seem like two people who would conflict. An unstoppable force and an immovable object, really.'

"Hello Ino, Rock-san." She gave them half her attention, working on her aim flipping kunai behind her into her blind spot.

"We're looking for Forehead Girl," Ino brusquely interrupted. Aiko winced. The other girl frowned, an expression Aiko could hear in her voice. "What's that weird look for?"

Aiko ran a hand through her hair, feeling stressed and not wanting to be the one to share the news. Why wouldn't someone have told the girl's yearmates already? It had been almost two days since …

'Nothing for it, I suppose.'

"I thought everyone knew. Sakura's dead."

Lee swallowed, hard. His jaw worked soundlessly.

"That's not funny, Aiko." Ino's expression was blank, but her eyes seemed to be pleading Aiko to claim it was all just a bad joke.  
She shook her head at the pale-faced genin in front of her. "No, it isn't. The boys are still in the hospital. They ran into… Well. Someone way out of our league took the test as an opportunity to get to Sasuke." Wordlessly, she turned back to slamming kunai into her target. When she next checked, she was alone again.

________________________________________

Wherever he was hiding, Kakashi was doing a damn good job of it. No one seemed to know where he was. Aiko had apparently been elected to be the deliverer of bad news for all of fucking Konoha, so when no one else would clue Sasuke in she told him what she knew of his curse mark.

His reaction made her think that he might not be leaving Konoha, or at least not for Orochimaru. Sasuke had scowled, digging his short nails into the mark as if he wanted to scratch the skin off. If this was the same curse mark depicted in her foreknowledge, then they might have changed things by getting the seal over it before it had a chance to totally flood his chakra system overnight. So far, he hadn't activated it.

Naruto had been creepily quiet ever since he woke up, clinging to both Aiko and a reluctant Sasuke (who had apparently gotten out all of the feelings in one go and would no longer tolerate them).

She desperately wanted an adult to come in and take care of things. It was a strange impulse, considering that she was an adult in more than one way.

No one did, though. In fact, the day of Sakura's funeral (a closed affair the Haruno parents had absolutely forbid any ninja from attending) she was called to the Sandaime's office and introduced to a distant cousin, a red-eyed girl who would apparently be staying with her and Naruto for the foreseeable future.

Seeing Karin was a bit of a shock. It was hard to imagine that anything she had done would change the world this much—Karin had certainly never defected to Konoha in the anime. It certainly clinched her belief that her foreknowledge was effectively useless.

"I don't want her here," Naruto scowled as soon as he had gotten away from their new housemate, sounding very much unlike himself. "We don't need anyone else."

With a sigh, Aiko pulled her brother into a one-armed hug in their bedroom while the older girl bedded down for the night on the couch. "Naruto, I know you're hurting right now and it's not good timing, but we're all the family she's ever known. You wouldn't leave her all alone, would you? Imagine if I'd never had you. That's what it's always been like for her."

Her otouto sighed, hanging his head. "It just… it feels like she's trying to replace Sakura-chan."

Karin was alright- surprisingly intelligent and not nearly as whiny as Aiko would have predicted. She was strangely shy, though. The girl sleeping on the futon in her front room was a year older than her, and remarkably underskilled for someone who had attended an international chuunin exam. Naruto wanted nothing to do with her, possibly seeing her as some sort of Sakura replacement.

Aiko was more practical about it, however. She knew that Karin actually had a fair bit of potential, despite her current weakness- the Uzumaki stamina and totally unparalled sensing abilities could help Konoha out in the future. That in mind, she spent a fair bit of time training with the girl. This served double purposes—Karin was more than eager to explore a familial connection and was obviously a lonely little girl. She had only spent two nights with the twins before the Hokage called Aiko to check in.  
"Tell me, Aiko-chan. How is Karin-chan adjusting to life in Konoha?"

Aiko kept a stiff back, knowing that this was an unofficial mission report of sorts. There was probably a good reason the girl had been put under direct supervision of an active duty nin, after all. "She seems emotionally invested in obtaining a relationship with myself and to a lesser extent, Naruto. I think that she can feel the Kyuubi through her sensing abilities and that it frightens her, but she has yet to comment. Karin appears to have little loyalty to Grass itself, but that does not mean she doesn't have a loyalty to someone from Grass. My assessment is that we can put a reasonable amount of trust in her at this moment, but that it would be unwise to give her access to sensitive information or increase her combat ability drastically."

"Hmm." Sarutobi eyed her harshly, and then gave a sigh. "Continue monitoring her. I want both of you to report to training field 1 tomorrow. She will be inducted into our force as a genin if she passes an assessment, and will report to the hospital for basic training as a field medic after psych evaluation by a Yamanaka. She will still be under your supervision." He scrawled a signature on a paper, and then handed it to her. "Bring that tomorrow. Dismissed."

Karin easily passed the assessment and gave her new headband on the standard blue a long, strange look before she tied it around her forehead. Aiko companionably nudged the other girl with a shoulder. "Doesn't she look nice with that, Iruka-sensei?"  
The chuunin smiled, marking the last of his evaluation and signing it. "Karin-chan looks very nice indeed. I'm almost sorry I can't claim you were one of my students. I would be proud of any student with mastery over such a unique technique. You'll be a credit to Konoha, Karin-chan."

Aiko tried not to snigger at just how red the other girl went. 'Puppy crush? Iruka-sensei is pretty damn cute, if he's never yelled at you.'

"T-thank you," she squeaked, fiddling with her brown glasses. "What now, Iruka-san?"

He scanned his files. "Well, it looks like the Hokage seems to think you'll do well as a field medic to complement your existing abilities as a support specialist. You report for introductory training tomorrow afternoon at the lower level of the hospital. If you do well in that class, you will be assigned a mentor." He paused for a moment. "I would suggest that you remember to work on your combat skillset as well," he sheepishly cautioned. "There's a bit of a tendency to let those skills stagnate when a medic starts training."

"Don't worry," Aiko chimed in, easily faking a light hearted attitude. "I won't let her get russsssty."

Indignant, Karin jabbed an elbow into her gut when Iruka was looking away. "Thank you again!" She bowed, allowing her short red hair to flip over her face in a move that sent a light cloud of perfumed air floating. Aiko twitched.

'She's wearing way too much perfume for a ninja.'

Aiko tucked her hands into the pockets of her long tunic. "We need to look into getting a new place," she remarked. "A one bedroom apartment isn't going to cut it for three teenagers."

Karin gave a tentative smile, one hand skimming over the cool metal of her protector. "Sounds fine to me. I've never had my own place before."

The place they ended up finding the very next day (a good ninja doesn't waste time, Karin reminded Naruto when he sulked) was an actual house on the outskirts of town almost to the great walls, not another apartment. It was traditionally styled and had a lot of floor space that was easily converted into a four bedroom home with a kitchen, sitting room and lounge. Aiko had to grimace at the damage the house payment did to her nest egg—despite thinking she had a ton of money saved, there wasn't enough to take care of all the expenses she wanted. She was the only one with a significant amount of saved money- Karin had essentially nothing, and Naruto had only ever worked D-class missions and the one fluke A class. They moved over the crappy old furniture with Sasuke's reluctant help, with the plan of replacing it for nicer furnishings when they could.

She hadn't seen any of her usual associates since the disaster of the second exam—Kakashi had apparently slunk back onto the ANBU rolls without a word, Anko had taken some long-term mission out of the village, and Ino was nowhere to be found.  
Gai kept his word from the hospital, however, and three days after the funeral he showed up toting Lee and an enormous assortment of seedlings for a garden. Sakura's parents refused to have it on their property—they blamed the ninja for getting their daughter killed and actually declared that they planned to move out of Konoha, taking their business with them. Iwa would probably welcome them with open arms.

They made the entire front yard of the new Uzumaki home into Sakura's garden, mostly because there was nowhere else to put it. Naruto must have talked to Ino because she showed up in ratty old gardening clothes that somehow still looked designer and directed the layout with a slightly subdued but still bossy mien. Sasuke slouched up about a minute before they started and deigned to help by digging.

The project was cathartic, even though they were a motley crew. Karin had fussed around, not quite comfortable where she knew she was an outsider. Ino had a long history of adopting lost little ducklings, however, and she pulled the other girl in with a good facsimile of her usual flippant grace.

It was then that Aiko learned that Ino had accidentally adopted Lee, too. She wasn't sure if she was amused or horrified when it came out that after Lee had totally outclassed her at the chuunin exams, Ino had proposed that if he would train with her she would help him be fashionable and then taken his reflexive thumbs-up as agreement before he'd had a chance to explain that he loved his jumpsuit and bowlcut.

Ino was probably regretting that deal- she looked exhausted and couldn't move without cringing. Lee looked about the same. The unstoppable force of Ino's personality had been at least temporarily stymied by Lee's immovable conviction of youth.  
She was probably going to regret having a permanent memorial to someone she hadn't particularly liked but had inadvertently killed in her front yard, but at least it was beautiful.

________________________________________  
"Hokage-sama, I need a mission. I haven't run one in months and I'm supporting a household of three… one of which you dumped on me," she added, tone slipping from its respectful beginning to a slightly resentful address.

The ANBU standing in the doorway gave a glare she could practically feel through his cat shaped mask and the back of her shirt, but the Sandaime only nodded. "That's fine, Aiko-chan. I'm sure I can find something. But as you say, Karin-chan is in your care. How do you propose to do that while out of the village?"

She frowned. "Unless you want me to retire, I can't always be with her anyways. Not if she's going to be reporting to the hospital daily. Otherwise I would take her with me."

"I think a short field mission under your command with Sasuke and Naruto-kun would not harm her progress overmuch," he commented lightly. "and increase the household income." Wrinkles formed in his forehead as he frowned. His next thought was mused to himself more than shared for her to comment on. "Then again, it seems risky to take the Uchiha out of the village without at least a jounin to ensure his safety when we know he is being hunted." He gave a long sigh. "On second thought, that mission is out. I will send a directive to the hospital ensuring that Karin-chan gets onto the payroll starting tomorrow. She can help out around as part of her internship. Naruto…" He smiled fondly. "I think he would appreciate training more than the safe, in village missions. With Kakashi-kun preoccupied, I think I will have him and Uchiha-kun report to Asuma for team training temporarily, so they do not lack guidance."

She shifted her stance slightly, the only indication that she was anxious for the conclusion of his long train of thought. It was good that he had addressed everyone else who mattered, but she really just wanted to know about her next mission.  
"Wait a moment."

The old man shuffled through his files, mumbling "no, not that one, no, no…" and flipping through pile after pile of the far too abundant paperwork. "I have a two-man chuunin team you can be temporarily reassigned to, heading to one of the outlier villages to investigate complaints of missing nin in the area. Supposedly they've been running roughshod."

________________________________________

ANBU dog (and he was dog now, it hurt too much to be Hatake Kakashi) led his small pack through Rice Country in search of the target. This mission -delivering a single message to an ally- was a bit of a joke, but speed was critical.

The only person who could help his kid with that seal was currently drinking and whoring his way on a never-ending circuit through the Elemental Nations in search of information and something that dulled the ache of years of failure. Dog could sympathize, though he self-medicated that pain differently.

The man in question was found balls-deep in a petite redhead with long, silver fingernails and matching paint over her closed eyelids. From the door, Dog idly watched those nails trace delicate red lines down the Toad Sage's back and wondered when the man would be done. He was an older man, after all. Another few minutes at most.

The couple didn't react to his silent entry, but the older man almost certainly sensed his presence. Dog didn't leave, knowing damn well that if he turned away there was a good chance Jiraiya would slip away instead of accepting the summons to Konoha. If he didn't get the orders then he could hardly be considered in defiance of them, after all.

After the whore had tied shut her pink yukata, she gave both the men a plastic, businesslike smile and left the room. She was professional… He had almost expected her to be surprised when she noticed him.

Whores and ninja had a lot more in common than conventional thought held. Her job was probably harder—she couldn't wear a literal mask to hide her distaste. He cheated, as did his little kohai.

He moaned and groaned and tried to coax Dog and his two subordinates into going out for drinks (especially the curvy one), but Jiraiya eventually sulkily gave in and read the missive… and then gave Dog a genuinely sympathetic look. "Lost your first student, eh?" He clapped Dog on the back with enough force to make even a grown man who happened to be an elite jounin fault forward. "You're fooling yourself, you need a drink far more than I".

ANBU kitty cat (he hated that name, but Dog's first kohai really was more of a kitty cat than a cat) shifted uncomfortably in a way that implied he hadn't known what the Toad Sage just shared. Their third member, ANBU gecko didn't so much as twitch. She'd always been good. Or maybe she was just too high to care. As long as she did her job, Dog would not investigate whether or not his subordinates were self medicating. Most ANBU did after a few months in the force.

"Fine, don't reply. See if you ever get a signed copy of anything again."

If he had been being Kakashi and not Dog, that might have pained him. It would later when he was a man again. Dog didn't read really excellent novels of high romance, great adventures, clever protagonists and heroines who were self-sufficient but obligingly helpless in the face of things like spiders and Mist nin (about the same threat level in the novel's context, a jab that had nearly started a war) so that the clever protagonist could be rewarded with…

He ducked his chin slightly so that his cool porcelain mask pressed down on his nose, keeping blood from escaping and signaled his team that it was time to go.

Kami help him, those kids would probably be better off if they never saw him again, but he still wanted to get back and make sure he hadn't totally failed Minato sensei and Obito (and what kind of person was he, that if he'd had to choose from his four students, he might have made the choice Orochimaru made for him?)

Speaking of students, his second kohai was going to be absolutely furious with him. She was unhealthily dependant on him, a fact that he was hyper aware of and made uncomfortable by.

They would be better off without him. It was time for them to find new sensei, sensei who wouldn't get them killed. Naruto was his father's shade in walking, talking, vivid color and Jiraiya was a sentimental man. Getting him a teacher would be no trouble. And he knew plenty of other jounin whose lives he had saved at some point or other. Surely one or two of them could take on an exceptionally talented student.

________________________________________

Omake from Timeskip

"I can't believe you're leaving me here," Aiko all but wailed to her sensei. "I want to go with you."

"Toughen up," he replied, idly examining the exit points of their cheap hotel room in a backwater village located conveniently close to Cloud. She would have sworn that she saw his lips curl up into a smile under his mask at that moment, but she was too busy moping to tease him for it.

"Isn't it your job to nurture me and turn me into a beautiful flower of Konoha?" she half-seriously demanded, referencing Gai's philosophy in an attempt to really lay down the guilt. "How are you going to nurture me if you leave me here to take care of your super secret secondary mission?"

He hmmed. "Is that why all my plants die?"

The look she gave in response to that was aghast.

"Orders, Aiko. I'll be back in a few hours. Trap the hotel room and stay up until I return. If you get kidnapped by big scary civilian thugs, try to leave a trail of candy for me to follow." He flickered away before she could reply, leaving his student choking on chakra smoke.

Her eyes narrowed. "Fine."

Her first plan was to trap the room so thoroughly that he would be caught in them when he returned. She quickly discarded that stupid plan because even if he wandered in with his eyes closed and a concussion, bleeding from his ears and temporarily deafened, she only calculated she had at best a 6% chance of getting him. The odds that he would fall into a harmless trap to humor her were slightly better, but she didn't want his pity.

Instead, she stripped both beds and called down to the front desk with an entire list of demands. She phrased it much more cutely than that.

A little while later inside her recently constructed pillow fort, she carefully arranged the bounty of candy and baked goods she had taken from an amused maid, tucking a cold can of soda between her knees so she didn't knock it over.

Only then did she trap the room, using such a diverse set of materials as senbon, wire, the tv guide, and a bottle of hairspray primed to spray into someone's face, preferably the eyes. She killed time reading through the book she had brought—it turned out that henging into a rather nondescript older man made it easy to purchase the forbidden Icha Icha series.

She had instead chosen to henge into the Hokage and worn a comically bad disguise. Because fuck that guy.

The plot really wasn't half bad, although Anko had definitely been right… Jiraiya was a bit of a sissy romantic. She didn't skip those parts, though. They were often relevant to the plot. Aiko had just learned that the blue-haired hottie with the killer abs was in fact an ANBU from an unnamed village in water country suffering from amnesia when a familiar chakra signature pulsed politely outside the door, as if asking her to disarm anything lethal. Aiko hurriedly marked her place and tucked the novel into her knapsack, hiding it by tucking it under her panties. No way would sensei look under those, even if he did suspect she had contraband.

When her sensei's masked face poked through the door after his mysterious five hours excursion lightly splattered with someone else's blood, she was gratified to see genuine confusion in his one visible eye. "We're having a sleepover," Aiko informed, as if that explained everything. He had probably never seen such an impressive pillow fort. Perhaps he even thought it was overkill to use both mattresses and every piece of bedding, but if she hadn't then he would have just gone to sleep and ignored her.

He just stared.

She summoned up big, teary eyes from her reserves. He wouldn't be fooled, but sensei appreciated the effort she put into emotional manipulation and usually rewarded the attempts. Her lower lip extended just a bit, and she 'unintentionally' curled her legs in and pointed her toes together like a silly baby bird, hugged her cupcake to her chest and channeled as much cuteness as possible.

"Right."

The door to the bathroom slammed behind him and the shower started up only a few minutes later. Humming, Aiko peeled a row of chocolates in preparation for his return and crawled out just enough to turn on a movie about a young witch moving to a big city with her snarky cat.

 


	16. Chapter Sixteen

In the week before the tournament of the Chuunin exam, Aiko felt the old worry overwhelming her again. Naruto had finally settled down and stopped sniping at Karin and both boys had been calmed by a combination of therapy and mind-numbing workouts that left them too tired to dwell on much. The other redhead had slipped into Konoha like she had always been there—fighting tooth and nail with Ino over who looked better in purple, becoming Aiko's ally against Naruto's bad moods, and developing shocking proficiency in her work at the hospital. Aiko was starting to get royally pissed at her sensei, however. He hadn't so much as shown his face in almost three weeks.

She didn't feel like she had enough allies for what was about to happen (if it did happen). It didn't seem that she could have changed anything big enough to make Orochimaru abandon the invasion plan, but then it hadn't seemed like she could have possibly influenced him to kill Sakura just by getting Anko to the group slightly faster.

All she could do was polish her kunai, restock her poisons (she had added one to coat the tips of her senbon) and tie her headband on in the morning, staring at her face in the mirror. The girl looking back at her looked calm and self-assured, red hair curling rather riotously around her face (she'd slept with it wet). It seemed strange to her, not for the first time, that she was one of the tallest in her age group when her brother was the shortest. The gap between them seemed very real when she could tease him by tucking her chin over his head when they hugged.

But it was very possible that he was the only person who could save Konoha from Gaara.

"What a joke," she muttered bitterly, tearing her eyes away from her reflection and brushing her teeth before she went to wake up her housemates. Karin had a shift at the hospital, but Naruto would be going to watch the tournament with her. The boys had been remarkably… well, not bitter at all about not getting to participate in the tournament. Doubtlessly that would have been very different if the reason wasn't that Sakura hadn't made it through the forest. They probably would have split apart as a team if Sasuke thought that he had one of them to blame for ruining his chances at advancement.  
'Dying was probably the best thing she ever did for team spirit.'

The stadium was packed- and why the hell did a ninja village have a building like this, anyways? Sasuke seemed equally uncomfortable with the crowded space.

The opening match was surprisingly exciting, considering that Shikamaru was in it. Quite possibly on threat of bodily harm from Ino, he methodically humiliated Kankuro with careless ease. The constant name-calling and heckling from the audience seemed to put the puppeteer off his game, as well as the fact that Shikamaru slapped said puppet with exploding tags on the very first hit and let the explosion of splinters that resulted speak for itself. Deprived of his primary weapon, he almost certainly would have lost even if Ino wasn't gunning for his blood.

Konoha continued to overwhelm—in the next round Shino casually drained the kunoichi from Rain with an insect planted before the match even began and left her in a limp pile on the floor, before she even had a chance to employ a single jutsu. The match was as quick as it was silent.

The next round was one of the ones that she had been nervous about… Lee was very good, and didn't have a particular disadvantage in the match up. Still, Temari was highly skilled as well and vicious besides. She managed to keep him at bay with swirling winds likely perfected just for this match- seeing his speed and strength in the preliminaries would have made almost anyone wary of letting him within arm's reach.

She'd probably never know who was the stronger opponent. Lee wavered and fell to his knees when a cloud of white feathers fluttered down, catching most of the stadium in genjutsu thrall.

"Kai!" Aiko snapped, shaking her brother's shoulder until the glazed look snapped out of his eyes. Sasuke had shaken it off just as easily as she did, though he looked confused.

"W-what?" The blonde turned his head, taking in the sleeping spectators… and the foreign shinobi who coasted among them like ghosts, perforating throats methodically in the split seconds before the Konoha nin who had thrown off the genjutsu gathered their wits and leapt to battle. Sasuke snarled and leapt at a lone nin two rows below who was raising a blade to a group of sleeping Academy students. She would have gone to help him, if another group hadn't drawn her attention at that moment.

A team of Oto nin who had just dismissed the illusions hiding them as civilian spectators were coming in hot, the kunoichi in the lead clearly out to get the two nin who were awake. Aiko leapt off the seat, kunai in her right hand and joined battle with a clash of steel, rabbit fast punches with her left to the brunette's abdomen and twisted her armed hand under the other girls' guard into a follow-up swipe that split her face from left jaw to her right eye. The screaming was terrible but short—she smoothly severed the spinal cord at the base of the girl's head when the unwary kunoichi reflexively jerked her face forward and exposed the neck.

Almost instantly, she twisted away into the path of one of the other two nin, pausing immediately behind him before he caught up with what had just happened and managed a quick, deep jab into the tender flesh of the boy's lower back, piercing his kidney. He went down, so she didn't bother to finish him before she whipped around to face the third genin (and they appeared to be genin, only suitable for killing sleeping opponents, pathetic). She was pleased to note that Naruto had regained his senses and managed a kunai toss that the older boy barely dodged, easily adjusting for the attempt at evasive movement and cleanly snapping his neck. Naruto panted from shock, wild-eyed. "What's going on!"

'Sad that he's looking to me for direction. Kakashi-sensei, you asshole. You're supposed to be the one to send us after Gaara. Where are you? I can make the call myself, but I might get in trouble for it later if this goes south.'

She let none of that appear on her face, taking a moment to check on the positions of the people she knew. The three sand genin were fleeing out an open hole in the stadium side towards the village center, Tenten and Lee taking up pursuit. She didn't see their third teammate—oh no, he was with Gai on the upper deck. "It appears that Sand and Sound have betrayed us."  
Sasuke flickered to her side, dark eyes full of violence. "Cowards. We should show them what real nin can do," he spat.  
Aiko assessed the situation, knowing what she had to do but also worried about leaving all the sleeping Konoha citizens. Someone else had already noted that problem, apparently. Team Ten was flipping around the stadium disabling the genjutsu to free anyone unwary enough to be caught, their sensei guarding their backs with a grim expression and twin blades.

"Come on." She leapt easily to the stadium floor, dodging fights in the straightest path to the outside she could manage. Her two subordinates followed, although they didn't seem to understand.

"Gaara of the Sand and his team immediately ran out toward the village center, as if they were just waiting for a signal. Whatever they're meant to do is bound to be a big problem, and there's only two genin going after them that I saw. We are providing assistance. Sasuke, if it is necessary your preferred target is the girl. She's the oldest and probably the most intelligent of the three, but you're fast and strong enough to get behind her wind jutsu." The boy nodded, a business like expression plastered to his features. "I think Gaara is the biggest threat. I will aim to have Cat-face removed from the fight immediately so that I can provide assistance to you, Naruto."

"H-hai, Aiko-neechan."

It was a damn shame that none of them were trackers by trade, but at least Tenten had left what appeared to be a metaphorical breadcrumb trail of scattered weaponry for them to follow. The first fight they found was Lee and Kankuro, which made her orders practically useless—before the boy even knew they were there, Aiko flickered forward and caught the hatred and fear in his gaze in the instant before she hit his head with enough force to shatter bone. He instantly lost consciousness.

Aiko frowned, mildly worried that she had hit him too hard. She had intended to leave the Sand siblings alive if at all possible, knowing that they could become valuable allies. She rolled him into a recovery position, stripped him of weaponry and was done before Sasuke finished tying his hands behind his back with wire.

'Smart kid, I didn't even ask him to help.'

The whole encounter took about ten seconds from start to finish.

"Hello, Uzumaki-san, Uchiha-san, and Uzumaki-san again! Have you come to help?" Lee seemed surprisingly relaxed that she had just barged in on his fight, so she gave him a rare smile.

"Hai, Lee-san. We should catch up to your teammate. I know that she is skilled, but two on one is poor odds."

He didn't offer any protests, easily joining the group. "Do you know what they're doing," Aiko half-yelled over the sounds of wind rushing as they attempted to catch up.

The tall boy shook his head, eyes busy cataloging whatever story the spray of senbon on an oak they passed told. "No, but Tenten seemed adamant that they were up to no good! Gai-sensei and my eternal rival stayed to provide assistance to the Hokage's guards, but we were ordered to follow." She could hear the frown in his voice. "I do not like the looks of that redheaded boy, Uzumaki-san. He is most unkind."  
'That's a bit of an understatement.'

"We're close," Sasuke rasped, dark eyes narrowing.

________________________________________

Karin fought the urge to shrink into the wall, away from the insanity that had just erupted in the hospital where she was just starting to feel at home (in a good way, not like Grass). Something had gone terribly wrong in the village. They didn't have any information yet, but the sudden influx of patients and the hostile nin roaming the halls were pretty big clues.

She squeaked involuntarily at the unmistakable fluttering chakra that signified fighting down the corridor to the long-term ward (and wasn't that strange, new admissions were obviously being brought to emergency), red eyes searching for friendly faces. The experienced nurses and iryo-nin had leapt into battle, literal and metaphorical, and she had yet to be trained in triage or emergency procedures.

'I'm a kunoichi,' she reminded herself firmly. 'If I can't help medically, I can fight!'

That in mind, she sprinted full-pace towards the disturbance she had noted. What she saw shocked her. The face-off was between a short, brunette kunoichi with casts on both arms and a sneering man wearing a Sound headband. It was really more of the kunoichi using her arms as guards to prevent the man from getting close enough to knock her unconscious, as seemed to be his aim. If he had been intending to kill her, he would have already.

She took stock of her situation in the long instant before either of the fighters noticed her presence. Karin was not carrying any traditional weaponry. For some reason, Konoha just wasn't comfortable with having a trainee who had become a citizen about a week ago armed around unconscious soldiers, a point she had understood. Her taijutsu was poor. Her phenomenal sensing skills were useless—she already knew he was there. She had a clipboard in her left hand and a pen in her front pocket. On the other hand, the man was distracted by another opponent and she had endured so much anatomy being drilled into her head in the past three weeks that she could think of any number of ways to kill him with the clipboard.

The choice was pretty easy. She leapt into close range, used the clipboard to deflect his first hit, and slipped out the pen, clicking it reflexively and forcing it directly into the gap of the man's clavicles and jerking it back just as soon so that it didn't stopper the hole. Blood spray formed an impromptu fountain that she side-stepped to avoid, somewhat unsuccessfully.  
The Sound-nin gargled pathetically, falling to his knees as Karin examined her front and grimaced. "Ugh gross." She flipped her hair, trying to keep the tips dry. "This shirt is ruined." The white medic's coat hadn't done much to protect her adorable lacy tanktop.

The girl she had saved shuddered, big wide lavender eyes focused on the man dying on the crappy linoleum floor of her hospital room.

"You're welcome," she said pointedly, considering slipping off the soggy top and fighting in her bra. The feeling of blood-soaked cloth drying against her skin was one she both hated and was intimately familiar with.

The other girl bowed hastily, a bizarre bit of formality in her already weird day. "Thank you, kunoichi-san! I woke up, and that man was here. Do you know what is happening?"

Karin sighed, considering taking her emergency blade out of her glasses just so that she wasn't totally unarmed, dropping the broken pen idly. "Not a clue. I'm just a trainee here. No one seems to know, but there's a whole lot of injured coming in suddenly, as well as Sound and Sand shinobi roaming the halls." She frowned, remembering something about Sound. "You have a bloodline, then?"

At the other girl's squeak, she scowled. "Figures. That makes sense. They're looking to make off with examples of Konoha's bloodlines while the main forces are distracted. You want to help guard the sleeping patients?" Karin industriously smashed a glass drinking vessel while she talked, pocketing the more promising looking shards.

The other girl looked shame-faced and red. "I… I'm not a good shinobi," she all but whispered, looking like she was confessing to being a drug lord or something instead of unskilled.

Karin merely snorted. "Me either, but that doesn't mean it's any less important for you to try. You can watch my back—even with two broken arms your taijutsu is better than mine, and I'm basically unarmed." She started out the door without another word. "You can't stay here, they'll probably come for you again. Your name is on the door, isn't it?"

Feeling a little overwhelmed but still the dutiful daughter of Konoha, Hyuuga Hinata glanced at her own name on the door as she passed by, running to catch up to the strange girl who talked so quickly. Better than being alone, she supposed. She carefully didn't look back at the room where she had spent a month, with the depressing artwork of a fruit bowl and the one vase of wilted flowers on the windowsill.

________________________________________

"Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit," Aiko chanted, dodging pillars of sand from a distracted but still deadly jinchuuriki, trying not to have an absolute fit and succumb to the combined fear of her opponent and of the three fucking massive snakes wearing BIBS (sick and hilarious) that had just crashed the party about a half-mile away at the gate. A snake you could see from a half-mile away was a terrible snake.

Not that she had a fondness for snakes in general. They creeped her out when they moved. Stationary snakes are A-okay. But the wiggling…

She shuddered, feeling desperation slide over her mind. Gaara was quickly transitioning to his jinchuuriki form. Naruto in jinchuuriki mode was about their only chance of defeating him, and he had never activated it. Tenten had narrowly escaped a maiming blow- actually, all four of the genin fighting with her had been extraordinarily lucky so far. But any minute now the handicap Gaara was experiencing from the transition would turn into an enormous advantage.

Once they'd felt that monstrous chakra, Temari had given up on slowing them down and made a run for it, clearly terrified of her brother but reluctant to go too far from his side. It was sad, really. The girl was currently hanging back and observing the fight with nerves that led her to bite already short nails—Temari probably didn't even know what outcome she was hoping for.  
She couldn't imagine being frightened of her brother but still determined to make sure he was safe. Being frightened for Naruto was quite stressful enough.

"Naruto!" she yelled over the noise of the fight. "You need the kyuubi's chakra, now! He's using the one-tailed demon's power."  
Tenten and Sasuke both gave her sharp looks, Lee seemed too involved in the fight to spare her a thought, and Naruto looked determined… but definitely not connected to the Kyuubi.

Her heart felt like it hit the bottom of her stomach. 'Think, stupid girl. He first activated it in canon when he thought Sasuke was dead, secondly when he thought Sakura was in lethal danger. He accesses the chakra either through anger or protective anger, specifically. I need to make him mad.' She grimaced. This was going to hurt.

Aiko leapt into close range as only Lee had dared so far, dodging fatal-looking attacks and hoping she didn't get killed when Shukaku's creepy eyes focused on her. The grin was even worse than the eyes, in her humble opinion… and up close, the stench of rot and blood from the sand was overwhelming. She fought the urge to gag and flee in equal measure. 'I've never fought an opponent who outclassed me like this before.' The thought was not reassuring. As if it wanted to pretend that the fear pressing all around didn't exist, her body reflexively went through the motions for a series of water bullets. 'Let's hope he can't work with mud as well as he does sand.' She soaked as much as she could, knowing that the basic jutsu couldn't actually pierce the armor.

'Please slow down.' Shukaku wasn't nearly as fast as Lee, but there was a pretty big difference between Lee and other genin, like Naruto. Besides, demons probably don't tire nearly as easily as humans.

She might have been onto something with her use of water, because her move really pissed off the demon. It was hard to register anything beyond the enormous roar that filled the air, but she took the time to notice that the string of sand that grabbed around both her ankles and flung her headfirst into a tree was the smallest amount she'd ever seen him use at one time. She quirked a smile in the instant before the impact knocked her unconscious, coming dangerously close to snapping her neck.

In any other situation, she might have been embarrassed to be caught and carried to a safer distance by one of the genin in her care. Once she awoke, however, and learned that Naruto had flipped a switch into crazy town that had made Sasuke not entirely mind the retreat, she was too relieved to care. She came to consciousness the next day in a hospital bed, bandages over wounds she didn't remember getting and an iv securing her to the bed. She paled, closing her eyes and curling up as much as she could without moving her arm.

She could kill twenty men before breakfast without blinking and had stoically tolerated more than a couple scrapes and stab wounds in her almost three year career, but somehow that little needle still made her want to cry.

A few steady breaths, a conscious steeling of her nerves and she had managed to calm herself to the point where she could pretend not to be disturbed by the needle in the delicate crook of her elbow.

That was lucky, because a tired-looking nurse poked his head in a moment later and took the needle out, droning through the litany of her injuries and treatment recommendations. It was a song and dance she knew well, so she quietly tolerated it, thanked him, and slipped out. She had received all critical treatment while asleep and been cleared of a possible concussion or brain damage, so there was no need to stick around. Besides… she pretended not to see the civilians packed like sardines into treatment rooms on her way out. They could use the extra room.

In triage, shinobi came first, according to rank or social status. How valuable they were, really. It was a shockingly amoral way of treating patients, but she had long ago figured out that what she thought of as morality was altogether foreign from a ninja mindset.

The subdued atmosphere of the village wasn't exactly surprising, but it made even more sense when Aiko first found someone to ask about the situation. The information was a little scattered—the giant snakes she had noted had done a number on the infrastructure, but been fought off by a group of Inuzuka and some very large toads. The Third Hokage was on his deathbed and in a non-responsive coma, all the Academy students and genin teams had been reassigned to manual labor digging for survivors and repairing damages while the bulk of the higher ranked nin went out to patrol the borders to ensure that no one thought to strike at Konoha's weakness. Apparently Sound had done a runner after which Sand had quickly surrendered and their surviving nin were still in the village under supervision.

The rumor that caught her most off guard was the one saying that Orochimaru was dead.

'How the fuck did that happen? Does this have to do with Jiraiya?' The inclusion of the toads was the only thing she hadn't half-expected, after all. Aiko didn't know if she wanted to frown or not- it might not be true anyways and she'd be wasting her time thinking about it. Then again, enough people had claimed to see giant toads that it seemed clear Jiraiya was in Konoha for the invasion. She was pretty sure he had not been in canon, though she could be wrong.

It was all rather confusing and not entirely pleasant to wake up to. She was now pretty much like everyone else in this shithole of a village—she had vague fears for the future, suspected that there were monster shinobi out there who would harm her and hers and could only grit her teeth and prepare as best as possible for the upcoming disaster.

Not encouraging.

Unfortunately, it seemed that she could still expect a few unpleasant things from canon. It wasn't until late that night when she went home and found a tired, filthy looking Karin washing yesterday's dishes that she heard Naruto had left the village with Jiraiya while she was unconscious.

"He wanted to wait until you woke, but the nurses didn't know how long it would take," Karin said apologetically, grabbing the entire carton of apple juice of the fridge and gulping it down greedily. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, which Aiko only then realized was shaking.

The two sat down at the table with their thoughts and a carton of juice each. It would usually be dinner time, but neither of them felt up to cooking. It turned out that Karin had been drafted for grunt work at the hospital- changing sheets, bringing around food for patients, refilling coffee for medical nin on the tenth hour of their shift or worse and doing all manner of errands that would usually be an orderly's job.

Aiko stared out the kitchen window, a little bothered that Konoha looked as it always did from her vantage point. Their location on the outskirts of town had been a good selection, apparently. 'So this is what a village in flux looks like.' Even without foreknowledge, she would have known that a power struggle was going on somewhere in the village at this moment. She just wouldn't have known that her silly otouto was about to get caught up in it.

________________________________________  
Jiraiya carefully didn't look at his blonde companion when they kitted down for the night. Didn't look at the way those eyes were a dead ringer for Minato's, didn't look at the way that pudgy baby face and those comically short legs screamed 'Kushina', and definitely didn't look at the way his sullen, combative attitude conflicted with everything Sarutobi had told him about the kid.  
At least the other kid they had brought along depressed him less. The last Uchiha… what a joke. At that age, Itachi had been an ANBU captain. The child in front of him carried a heavy burden with very little talent.

There was a good possibility that the angst choking the air was a result of the recent death of their teammate and that their teacher had essentially abandoned them in his own grief. Jiraiya was highly qualified to commiserate, but much less so to guide them out of their funk. If he knew how to get over grief and disappointment, he'd be a very different man. Most days, Jiraiya hated himself.

He already knew he was scum for essentially abandoning his godchildren to raise themselves like wild animals, even if it was for the village's sake. Jiraiya certainly didn't need to all but choke on the palpable bitterness wafting off the kid to remember that shame and just what Minato would have said about it.

It had been easier, only getting occasional reports. From what Sarutobi had implied, the twins were growing up fine. To hear him tell it, the boy was vivacious and charming, though his sister was the one with sharp wit and sharper skills. He had been warned that the girl was on the verge of paranoia and hostility even by shinobi standards, so he had steeled himself to be harshly questioned when he told the girl he was her godfather she didn't remember meeting.

He hadn't seen that in Konoha, when he stumbled into that hospital room with his old teammate and friend's blood still on his hands and seen that tiny, bruised figure under white sheets. He wasn't seeing Sarutobi's description in this strange, sharp little boy either.

If the girl had been awake, he might have taken Aiko with them. Kami only knows that she couldn't have dragged the atmosphere any further down. The boy's second demand had been his other teammate, but that brat was just as sullen. It was a good idea, though. He hadn't thought of it himself, but the Uchiha was in a similar danger to what Naruto faced in the village.

"So what exactly is this person doing?" Naruto kicked up a clod of dirt with his toes, digging for a firepit. His tone was mostly uninterested. Jiraiya had practically had to carry him bodily out of Konoha to pry him away from his sister's bedside, but it couldn't be helped. It would be insanely stupid to leave him unprotected in the middle of a power vacuum. Danzo would snap him up like the last dumpling. Then he'd have to kill Danzo to get him back, and the village could ill afford that.

Jiraiya awkwardly cleared his throat. "What do you mean, gaki?" Those blue eyes looked at him, annoyed. He had to consciously decide not to look away.

"The woman we are looking for is the next Hokage, right? If she's that powerful, why isn't she in contact with the village?" Those big black eyes and the attached long, thick lashes were dead-on for every female Uchiha he'd ever known. Never seen them on a boy before, though. In two years and in a dress…

Jiraiya winced and forcibly changed his train of thought. "Ah, well. That's a long story, kid. Maybe another time."

Naruto scoffed and turned away, sullen and silent for the rest of the night.

Feeling incredibly depressed- he had killed one of this oldest friends a few hours ago, his teacher was dying alone, all his students were dead, and the boys in front of him were teetering on a dangerous precipice.

"Hey, cheer up kids. Tell you what, I'll teach you each a new jutsu tomorrow. I won't promise either of you knuckleheads can actually master them, though."

Naruto needed that Rasengan anyway. Now was as good a time as any to start passing down his father's masterpiece. He'd been damn disappointed to find out Aiko's chakra affinity was with water, but so much for that. As for the Uchiha… well, fire and lightning weren't his specialties, but he'd be damned if he couldn't scrounge up something that would impress a twelve year old. Even a sourpuss like this one.

________________________________________  
He was on the border of Fire and Wind country when he heard the news. Itachi frowned slightly, suddenly less interested in his dango and tea than he had been a moment ago. At his side, Kisame sucked down plain green tea undisturbed, though he had undoubtedly overheard the same conversation.

Itachi didn't like what he had heard. Not at all. It went beyond even the normal grief a loyal shinobi would have when hearing of their military dictator's imminent death although no one knew he was loyal now, except Danzo, Jiraiya and the council.  
And therein lay the extra problem. Sarutobi had promised Itachi with tears in his eyes that he would keep Sasuke safe and fairly healthy, out of the influence of malcontent power mongers like Danzo and the Council. With Sarutobi dead…

The man stood with a tinkle of bells, casually dropping the coin for his uneaten food. "Come, Kisame."

A sigh. "I knew you would say that." Almost eight feet of blue muscle unfolded from the seat next to Itachi's on the bar. "We're going to go put the fear of kami in some poor bastard, aren't we?"

Itachi didn't smile, but he did appreciate his partner's easygoing nature. Not every man would go on a hundred mile detour for the sake of a twelve year old he didn't know. He'd have to pay this one back somehow.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Five ninja sat uncomfortably close in a stall. Jiraiya had managed to sit across from Tsunade, leaving the two boys to pile in next to him and Shizune to linger at the end of the table for a long moment, before she cuddled Tonton closer and sat down next to her mentor. Naruto made a reach for a sake saucer, but the taller blonde slapped his hand away with nearly enough force to break the delicate bones in his hand. He resentfully glared at her, holding his hand to his chest.

"Serves you right, loser," Sasuke said in a low undertone, managing to become the new target of Naruto's ire. The boys squirmed, engaging in under-the-table warfare with kicks and elbow jabs.

Tsunade gave her old teammate a distinctly unimpressed expression. "I didn't know you were dragging around brats now. Going to get those ones killed too?" Shizune winced at that particular bit of bluntness, but Jiraiya knew better than to react. She was trying to drive him away. Calmly, he poured drinks for the three adults, noticing Shizune's raised hand a moment late. Tsunade solved the problem by slamming down her drink and then pushing the saucer away.

"Have you heard about what happened yet?"

The older blonde's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about, pervert?"

Sasuke spared a moment from his covert war against Naruto to smirk at that insult. He hadn't been pleased by their guide's habit of 'stopping to observe the sights'. It was one of the few times when he deigned to outwardly agree with Naruto—the man's behavior was an embarrassment and completely degraded the often-civilian women he took advantage of to leer at. Plus, he was still trying to process the strange way the white-haired man had looked at him before off-handedly mentioning that he looked just like his mother. Sasuke shuddered in his seat.

When it came, the reply was measured, calm, and almost emotionless. "Orochimaru went and founded his own village, which he used as leverage to kill the Kazekage, take his place and have the two groups attack Konoha from the inside during the Chuunin exam."

Tsunade visibly expressed surprise- a minor victory for Jiraiya. He had her off balance. Shizune didn't have her mentor's reticence and leaned forward, face twisted into dismay. Tonton began to wiggle when her grip tightened. "What happened?"  
Jiraiya very noticeably did not look down her kimono when she leaned forward, Naruto noted with some surprise while he tried to pull his aching shins out of Sasuke's reach. His face was the most serious the boys had ever seen. "I killed Oro- the bastard, but Sandaime-sama… Sensei is dying. He's in a coma. Tsunade, the village is in dire need. That vulture Danzo and his cronies are doing everything they can to steal as much power as possible before Sensei is even cold. We need a strong candidate for Hokage. Someone who no one can claim isn't qualified for the job."

Naruto's eyes were wide at the dramatic way the information was laid out, but everyone else had regained their feet. "No." Tsunade shook her head, ponytails swishing over her shoulders. "Absolutely not. That job…" She unconsciously splayed her fingers across her collarbones, brushing against a pendant. "Only a moron would take that job!"

Sasuke sent a genuinely considering look at Naruto, his thoughts written plainly over his features for once. 'Good news, if that's true we have a great candidate.' Tsunade caught the look and gave a mean, mildly hysterical sound of amusement, but no one else acknowledged it. He'd expected Naruto to react to the other blonde's declaration, but the other boy was staring at the older woman across the table with disgust frozen on his features. 'Maybe he gave up on that dream,' Sasuke idly thought. 'He hasn't mentioned it since before… He hasn't mentioned it since before the exam.'

"Fuck you, old lady!" Naruto banged a fist on the table, standing up so violently that the bench was pushed back.  
'Ah, there's the reaction,' Sasuke thought blandly.

"The Hokage have been some of the greatest people born to our village. You can't possibly say that the Sandaime was a moron. He was brilliant, like the Yondaime! I'm going to be the Hokage one day and you won't say crap like that then!" He leaned across the table aggressively, shouting into her face with his hands planted on the table surface.

Shizune covered her dark eyes with the hand that wasn't strangling Tonton. Eyes the color of honey, ringed by ridiculously long blonde lashes narrowed dangerously. Her left hand shot out and tangled into the front of Naruto's shirt, pointed nails digging into the fabric. "Listen, kid," she snarled. "I have known people with ten times more talent than you with that same dream, and they all ended up dead chasing it. You don't have a chance. You should give up now, while you still can. There's some good advice for you."

"Why would I give up, when a loser like you already has that market cornered," Naruto jeered. "I don't know why the pervert even bothered to track down someone as old and bitter as you!" Jiraiya twitched in his seat.

Always ready to chime in with an insult, Sasuke added, "We might be better off with the pervert in charge than a coward." He glanced over at his teammate, who looked significantly less idiotic than usual and hadn't kicked him in almost a minute. "The idiot might even do a better job. Come on. We're wasting our time." He turned to slide out of the seat, dismissing the fact that Naruto was still trapped in Tsunade's monster grip.

"Don't you walk away from me," the older woman practically roared. "You brats! You have no idea what I've been through that led me to know that position is bad news!" She dropped her alcohol untouched, letting the liquid splash over the table and grabbing Sasuke by his obnoxiously wide collar. Tsunade then proceeded to bodily lift both boys above the table, letting them kick futilely. Naruto managed to clip Jiraiya on the head pretty well, but she was too furious to laugh at his misfortune and the shoeprint in his hair.

Naruto gave her back just as good as he got with kicks and muffled exclamations, face red from both oxygen deprivation and mindless rage. Jiraiya joined Shizune in escape, slumping down in his seat to crawl out under the table on his hands and knees while the more conventional path was blocked by struggling adolescent feet.

"And don't you dare call me old," she added, as if an afterthought. "I'm almost a full year younger than that white-haired moron you followed here!"

There was a moment of silence, then Naruto's face twisted in mild surprise. "Holy shit, you're that old? I thought you were more like thirty than a gazillion." A small, squeaking sound of inestimable rage escaped through Tsunade's dropped jaw. The muscle below Jiraiya's right eye twitched, and he paused in his stealthy retreat to slowwwwwly turn around.

"You're getting off topic, idiot," Sasuke choked out even though the words were muffled by the collar that was currently covering almost his entire face.

"The bastard has a point," Naruto rallied in much the same easy way as he'd just insulted two of the three adults at the table. "You're still a loser, and you're wrong about being Hokage! The Hokage protects the village and everyone in it." He practically shone with the force of his conviction. The darkness and newly acquired doubt in that particular ambition that someone who knew him would see was completely invisible to Tsunade's eyes.

As someone who did see the crack in the slight pause Naruto gave mid-sentence, Sasuke shifted uncomfortably. Something that was still raw related to their missing teammate tainted the way he thought about what the loser said. He usually felt derisive when the idiot made declarations like that one. But… 'Maybe Naruto isn't such an idiot after all. The idea of wanting to protect your precious people… If I had precious people left, I would want to protect them from Itachi.'

Sakura had definitely not been a precious person. But she had been familiar and increasingly tolerable. Even if she had remained as annoying as she had been at the start, he would still have tried to protect her from enemies.

Maybe Naruto was onto something with the idea of protecting people you loved. That was a lot like getting revenge for people if you had never failed to keep them safe from a monster in the first place. It would be accomplished in much the same way, after all. Killing Itachi and others like him.

Tsunade's grip momentarily loosened while she stared at the blonde, some strange emotion passing over her face. Of course, with Jiraiya and Shizune at a slightly safer distance and Sasuke's face covered by his collar, the only one who saw it was also the only one without the social skills to recognize that he'd just made the busty woman think about something else. Her eyes softened, and she let go of both boys in order to bury her face in her hands, elbows splayed out on the table. Naruto yelped as his tailbone connected with the seat, while Sasuke missed the bench altogether and managed to be the only person in the world to fall to the floor and struggle his way out of his shirt in a semi-dignified manner.

Tsunade's shoulder shook, though whether she was laughing or crying was anyone's guess. Jiraiya swooped back in and extracted both preteens, bundling them off into Shizune's custody and quietly asking if she could please take them to the hotel, he needed a word with his old teammate. She was actually flustered enough to comply.

________________________________________

"You're pretty good at that," Karin said blandly, not looking at Aiko at all. She licked a fingertip and turned the page of the medical text she was reading, face not displaying any of the frustration Aiko would have felt in her place. 'Anatomy of Chakra Systems: How it Can Go Wrong; Third Edition' sounded like a book used for torture, not education.

The taller redhead grimaced. "Very funny, Karin." She gave up on the attempt at chakra chains for the moment, viciously kicking a rock that she could displace her anger on to. It bounced across the training ground on the outskirts of town, ending up in a patch of mud.

Her companion raised one eyebrow silently. Aiko flushed. 'What is it about this girl that gets me so flustered?' she griped. Karin had some sort of sixth sense for making Aiko feel immature and silly.

With a sigh, Aiko ran through a mental list of what she should get done for the day. With the reconstruction occupying a good portion of her time, she had been neglecting her regular training.

'I can't go another day without trying to get the senbon trick to work,' she decided. She'd been putting it off for a while. Anko had demonstrated a wrist-flick that sent a brace of senbon hidden under fingerless gloves flying. It looked really cool, and was a low energy, low chakra way of turning around a fight… especially if she poisoned them. They weren't poisoned yet, of course. Until she had gotten to a point where she aimed them reliably, that would be a phenomenally stupid idea.

"That's my cue to leave," Karin said dryly, marking a spot in her book.

Aiko blinked at the other girl, confused. "What are you talking about?"

A theatrical sigh filled the air, and the older girl held up two fingers. "One. You're staring at the target circle and rotating your wrists, indicating that you're thinking about possibly skewering my person with badly aimed senbon again."

"I said I was sorry," Aiko grumbled a bit bitterly. Karin gave her a withering look and plowed over the mild objection.

"Two. Sasuke-san and one more person are coming in this direction, and fast. I don't know the other, but it's like monstrously big. It must be that Sannin he left with. Sasuke doesn't seem to like me at the best of times, and right now his chakra signature feels really weird. It's really.." she scrunched up her nose. "It's really still, kind of, and he feels very sad. If I had ever felt another chakra signature like Sasuke's, I would say it was a different person. But his is so unique." Karin's eyes glazed and she dreamily floated off on a tangent, as she often did when she tried to describe the unique way she understood the world. A bit bewildered, Aiko let her. "I think it must be connected to the Sharingan. But he also just has the most beautiful aura, Aiko."

It would probably be best to pretend not to hear the sigh, Aiko decided. "Okay then." She glanced at her target, wondering how long she'd have to practice until Sasuke showed up. She didn't want to skewer him either. "How long til he's here?"

Karin closed her eyes for a moment, entering that clear, practical state of mind she slipped into when there was intellectual work to be done. She bit her lower lip just once before she opened her eyes and mouth. "About two minutes, if he keeps a steady pace. He'll be cutting right through there, about forty feet north of us." She frowned, noticing something. "Which is rather bad of him, he'd only come this way if he were avoiding using the gates. He and that Jiraiya person are slipping in through an unpatrolled section. I don't sense Naruto or anyone else either. Something important must have happened."

'That's really weird. Maybe Naruto is with Tsunade?' Aiko thanked her housemate and waved her off, finally getting to start working on hitting that damn target. Anko had made this move look so easy, slipping out ten senbon one right after another with highspeed and impeccable aim. When Aiko did it, they all tended to flop out at once and fall to the ground about a foot away from her outstretched hand.

'Maybe I need to try one at a time.' Instead of packing them all back under her glove, she slipped just one senbon in and tucked the rest into her thigh pouch. After her rough count indicated that a minute and fifty seconds had passed but she still didn't sense Sasuke's chakra signature, she frowned. Granted, she wasn't a sensor like Karin, but it was still embarrassing that a genin could hide from her. 'Jiraiya must have either taught him how to block or be blocking for him,' she decided.

Then she decided to take a chance. At worst, she was talking to herself and no one would know. If Karin had been right, she'd fool him into thinking that she still had one over him. Aiko repressed a smirk. 'Maybe the impulse to prank poor Sasuke is contagious.'

"Sasuke-kun, you're ten years early to successfully sneak past me," she idly called out. For a moment, a chakra signature fluttered in and out of her ability to feel out of what had to be surprise. She'd managed to shake him much more than she would have guessed. She smiled to herself. 'Oh yeah, paydirt.' Funny, that. He really shouldn't be too surprised to be caught out by someone of a higher rank.

The redhead gave a deep sigh, flicking her wrist again to send just the one senbon flying. Remarkably, it hit the target. She tried to exercise similarly good aim with her teasing. "Isn't my cute little kohai going to say hello, after you've been gone so long? It hurt my feelings, you know, to wake up in the hospital alone." There may have been a little bit of genuine bitterness in that sentence. She slipped another senbon out of her pouch to ascertain if the hit was a fluke or indication that she'd figured the basic move out before she added a second.

Then the two men behind her actually dropped their chakra cloaking technique and she almost literally choked in surprise, dropping the senbon into the dirt and whirling around to see that the fucking scary signature that had only the barest of similarities to Sasuke's (and what the hell was Karin smoking? Did she even feel the same things Aiko did when she used Kagura of the Mind's Eye?) and that the other belonged to about eight feet of big, blue man.

She swallowed, hard, and wished the next words out of her mouth were a little more intelligent than "You're not Sasuke." Aiko did her level best to sink into the ground.

In her short career as a ninja in this batshit world, she had managed to push back fear many times. Aiko knew that she did not have the plot armor that the manga characters had, but she could have also have been relatively certain that the no-name opponents she fought had weaknesses. Most of them could be outsmarted. She took out most of her opponents in something other than direct combat—she sensed them, poisoned them, or herded them where she needed them or something like that. Occasionally she had to revert to taijutsu, but that was her best skill.

She could not push back this fear, because she recognized these two people by their coloring and clothing. There was absolutely zero chance she could outsmart or outfight these two.

Uchiha Itachi lowered his head slightly and took off the hideous, bell-ringed hat, letting it fall to the side. "No." Calm red eyes cut into her face as if looking for something underneath her skin. "I am not." The man beside her grinned with utterly terrifying pointed teeth. 'Is that just a Kririgakure thing?' some portion of her brain that still operating managed to question.

The part of her brain that wasn't functioning helped her blurt out, "Is now a bad time to scream like a little girl and run for my mommy?" She fought the urge to back up and put as much distance as possible between her and these guys. That wasn't the ninja thing to do. At the moment, it seemed like a fabulous idea.

Kisame (that was fucking Hoshigaki Kisame ten feet from her, looking dangerous as all hell) gave a short, barking laugh. "That would be a very bad idea." He bared his teeth at her. "You wouldn't get very far, kid."

Indeed. Her physical conditioning was nowhere near theirs, eliminating both flight and taijutsu as life-saving possibilities. 'Suddenly, being a shinobi who specializes in taijutsu seems like a terrible idea. When there are monsters like this around, anyway.' Her right hand drifted down to her thigh pouch, where she had poison, kunai and explosive tags. "No, but I think fighting wouldn't end much better," she pointed out in a calm tone utterly at odds with the hysteria bubbling up.  
'Itachi is supposed to secretly be a good guy, right? He probably won't kill me. I think.' The thought wasn't that comforting. 'I can't beat them, I can't really stall them for long, and I definitely can't just let two S-class criminals pass me into town.'

"How about we have a nice civil conversation and then you two leave as reformed men, happy to abandon whatever nefarious things you had planned?"

'That plan might work for Naruto. Maybe I also inherited therapy-no-jutsu, despite the total lack of charisma I've shown so far?' Ugh, long shot. She slipped a finger through the loop of a kunai, pretending not to know that the older two definitely saw the move and could have killed her at least five times while she made it. Each.

"A decent plan," the taller man leered. "But not as good as the original plan, sorry." He hefted his gigantic sword.  
"Kisame."

Everyone stopped to look at the Uchiha, who was still staring at her with unnerving focus. She felt her legs begin to shake.

"Leave us. Continue with the plan."

His hand fell from the handle of his sword, and Kisame shook his head fondly. "I suppose I'll find a better fight, then." In a flash he was gone, chakra signature still unbound and almost certain to attract a lot of attention, very fast. Aiko swallowed, hard, and hoped against hope Karin wouldn't wander right to him to find out why 'Sasuke' had been feeling so strange. No, she wouldn't. She might have mistaken Itachi for Sasuke when he was repressing his chakra, but not when he was practically shouting his presence.

"Why did you think I was someone else." His face was as blank as his tone, but she knew that if he hadn't cared he would have left.

She instantly felt like ten kinds an idiot. 'Of course it would be worrisome to an S-class criminal who happens to be a spy that some random Chuunin apparently sensed him when he was meant to be stealthy. I can't tell him that it wasn't me who sensed him without selling out Karin, and she doesn't deserve to get involved in this.' She was trapped.

"I'm not telling you shit," she spat, feeling quite a bit less brave than she sounded. Irritation or something quite like it flashed through his red eyes in the instant before she broke eye contact and flung three kunai at the bulk of his body and shot to her left, fingers shooting together to start a handsign sequence and not succeeding. That failure was in large part due to the rather large, warm hand that had captured both hands and forced them together with the palms facing outwards so that she couldn't form handsigns. The other hand pushed against her shoulder with uncomfortable force, pinning her against a tree. Reflexively, she kicked out at his shins and received a tightened grip in response.

"I do not play games, kunoichi."

Up close, he seemed much taller. Perhaps it had just been the fact that he'd been standing next to Hoshigaki that had made her think he wasn't so big. Not that height mattered, but she was used to her unusual height putting her only about six inches below most adults. She really did feel like a child now, subdued almost instantly like she'd been naughty and merely needed correction. She swallowed, knowing that he could probably feel the rabbit-like flutter of her heartbeat through his palm.  
He probably sensed the angry presence barreling straight for him before Aiko did, but it might have been close. It was a presence she was very familiar with, after all. She started to smile, feeling inestimably relieved that her sensei had pulled through, followed by what felt like Gai. That was when her eyes met those of the man pinning her for the third time. This time, she didn't marvel at their color or coldness. Instead, she found herself mildly surprised to perceive that she was in a world of black-and-white, and that the redness was still pure and intense. It was possibly more intense than usual because it was the only color visible.

"Tsukyomi," he intoned, sounding almost bored. "I have almost literally all the time in the world for you to explain how you sensed my presence." Aiko hyperventilated, tugging at the ropes that bound her to a cross and trying not to look frightened when he pulled out a short blade. 'If he isn't evil, he is doing an excellent imitation,' she noted weakly. 'That in mind, I can't tell him Karin was the one who sensed him. He might go find her. She's an important village asset now.'

She said nothing, averting her eyes and allowing herself to go limp, doing her very best to ignore his presence and recede into her own mind. That lack of struggle made his next words seem a bit futile and redundant. "This is a dimension of my own making where time passes as I wish and I control all. You cannot hope to fight me here."

'This is the part where he disembowels me, right?' She braced for the pain. 'Is it Tartarus who was disemboweled every day by an eagle? I haven't brushed up on my mythology lately.' The thought almost made her giggle out of some bizarre form of nerves and sheer terror.

'Go inside, where he can't hurt you,' she reminded herself, thinking of the lessons on torture resistance and wearing them like a cloak.

Of course, a cloak didn't keep her safe from the blade that started by tracing a line up her arm, slicing off chunks of flesh.  
"How did you sense me, little one?"

________________________________________

Dog felt the silent scream of adrenaline that had begun the instant he sensed those two monstrous presences emerge in training ground seven, eyes glued to the figure of his long-term student in the exact instant that the relief at his presence fell off her face and the man holding her let go, allowing her to collapse in a pile at his feet.

He barely registered that his team was behind him—they had been waiting to check in at the Hokage tower. The three following him were comparatively rookies, but even they must have sensed those signatures emerge. Gai, on the other hand, who must have been working out in Training ground 10 had nearly beat him there. He had stopped to fight the Mist traitor—with blue skin and a sword like that, he couldn't be from anywhere else.

The Mist traitor was the least of his concerns at the moment, however. That was Uchiha Itachi there, looking at him with a blank expression and a twelve year old slumped at his feet.

"Get away from my student."

He didn't think the Uchiha would harm her further—she was obviously unconscious under some sort of genjutsu and there would be no point to it. But then again, he'd worked with Uchiha Itachi seven years ago and it had never occurred to him that the solemn preteen would kill his entire family, so his predictive powers were in question.

The fight that followed made him wish he had been insane enough to pull a Gai and learn to fight by only watching his opponent's feet. The younger nin was obviously holding back, though Kakashi had no idea why. Sadism or mercy?

If he had been watching his opponent's face, he might have seen the moment when Itachi realized that he had succeeded in getting Danzo's attention. A group of ANBU that were almost certainly Root affiliated were approaching quickly.  
'It is time to end this fight and go. I am sorry to do this, Hatake-san.'

His regret was definitely not on his face when the Sharingan whirred and he flickered out of sight, reappearing directly in front of the silver-haired man. It might have been a dangerous move to get within arm's reach if he hadn't ensnared the Copy Nin in the exact instant he forced eye contact.

________________________________________

Karin fluffed her cousin's pillow (it was simpler to judge their relationship that way than with the honest but vague 'distant relation of unknown connection'). She fought the urge to take another pain pill- she had a hell of a headache that just wouldn't go away.

'When I found family, I didn't think they would be this much trouble. She'd only just got out of the hospital a week before she went back in.' The redhead settled into the chair at Aiko's bedside and dug around in her canvas knapsack for the book she was working on.

Truthfully, she wasn't entirely sure why Aiko and her teacher were nonresponsive in the hospital. Whatever had happened was above her clearance- both in the regular military and as a hospital trainee. The notes on Aiko's clipboard were coded- she had peeked. At this point, she was less worried and more resigned. Aiko would undoubtedly wake up soon. In the meantime, she had homework to do if she wanted to show up that whiny little civilian-born brat who thought she was oh-so-superior to the outsider. Lousy brat, with her tiny reserves that made it easy for her to use scalpels and her big dumb face…

"Is there any particular reason for you to scowl at that book?"

Karin nearly fell out of her chair in surprise at hearing her teacher's voice. "Ah, Mito-sensei!" She sat up, nervously smoothing down her shirt. "No, I'm just a little frustrated," she admitted honestly.

The kind brown eyes of the woman who led her small group through lessons and let them shadow her at the hospital seemed to understand what she didn't say. The older woman crossed over to check the clipboard at the foot of the bed, scanning dispassionately. "I don't suppose you can read this, hmm?"

Karin shook her head, feeling a little foolish. "I can't." She admitted honestly. "No one would tell me why she's unconscious or for how long she will be. It's annoying."

"I see." Mito-sensei's eyes flickered to the open door, and then she seemed to shrug. "Your cousin is under a genjutsu. See here," the woman gently pushed up the eyelid. "She seems unconscious, but she's experiencing rapid eye movement, even though a scan here…" Her hand let the eyelid drop and passed mint green light over Aiko's forehead. "shows that the patient is not experiencing the REM cycle in any stage. Her mind is working as if she were awake. The patient's movement is constricted, but it is still possible to tell that she's experiencing significant stress. Tell me how, Karin-chan."

"Um…" Karin stood and leaned over her cousin, red eyes trying to look for clues she'd missed before. "She's sweating. Is that it?" She moved a little closer and lightly touched the tips of her fingers to the pulse point on her cousin's pale, naked throat. "Her heartrate is elevated, too."

"Very good. Possible repercussions of this state being sustained for a prolonged period of time?" The question was bland and impersonal, as if this was just another textbook hypothetical. Karin found that it helped her relax and truly consider the problem.

"Extreme mental strain and maybe even brain trauma," she said promptly. "She is essentially going without sleep for however long the genjutsu persists, meaning that her condition will deteriorate. The patient is likely to be irrational at time of waking."  
"Astute as always, Karin-chan. That being said, it is impossible to know when she will wake up. In fact, it is a little worrisome that she hasn't already. If she does not regain consciousness naturally within ten hours, we will be forced to try to awaken her by disrupting the genjutsu manually." Mito made a mark on the clipboard, changed the iv, and then took down vital statistics. She touched Karin's shoulder lightly, pausing on her way out. "You should go home and get some rest, Karin-chan. You still have class in the morning. Someone will come for you when she wakes, as her only relative in the village at the moment."

"Hai," Karin agreed reluctantly, packing up her bag. "I suppose visiting hours are over, huh."

________________________________________  
No Omake Today, because it is :

Ranty Time. 3

I received a long and uncomplimentary review to the tune of 'I am upset that things are not going as they did in canon to shape a character in the ways I see as most central to their character' and 'I can't possibly imagine a way for this to get better, so I won't read anymore', as well as criticisms of any number of things that the reader thought were out of character or poorly thought out.

I wonder if this person isn't alone, so I wanted to add some quick notes about those concerns. The note below also explains my philosophy on feedback from readers, so it might clear things up if you're interested.

Firstly, this is not canon. It's a shame that if the things about canon that you happen to like best or see as central aren't the ones I focus on as essential, but it's not a problem with my writing. It's a problem of incompatibility of what a reader wants and what the reader is reading. If the story I'm writing isn't one you want to read… exit or hold your peace, because I'm not forcing anyone to broaden their horizons. A lot of this story- the vast majority, really- goes on as in canon because the addition of one character doesn't change everything. Either ask or consider that it's A. not important to the story being told or B. happened as in canon and isn't being repeated because why would I spend time rewriting scenes we all know? Thank you.

Second point- readers don't have to be able to imagine how the rest of the story will go. That's the author's job. If my readers know where everything is going, then I'm doing a poor job as a writer. Although it does seem strange that it would be impossible to imagine a way for things to get better- the world is full of nearly infinite possibilities, and not one comes to mind?  
Thirdly, to points like 'Hinata should be dead because Gaara would have killed her in the hospital' (paraphrase, of course)…   
Well, I'm only going to rebut this one in the interest of conserving space, although there were others and the reviewer was incorrect about their assumption that I had no rationale for other decisions, like Naruto not killing Gaara in their fight. Simply speaking, there is no reason to believe Gaara would try to finish Hinata off in the hospital. He went after Lee to prove his strength after Lee actually managed to piss him off by harming him in their match. That made it personal. He hurt Hinata because it was amusing and he could, not because Hinata had managed to harm him.

I'm done with that now, but I would like to add something to anyone who made it through that block of text. I am more than willing to talk about potential problems or future directions or themes with anyone who sends a review or message asking about them. In fact, I actually like those conversations. If people express interest in a scene or something that I didn't show, I will quite likely include it later as an omake.

But anything that attempts to condescend or bully (and with quotes like "'man, look at how awful everything is with no hope for improvement'" and describing a character as a "sarcastic bitch", it's hard to interpret that in another way) will be dismissed.  
In other words, fuck you and the saddled pig you rode in on, sir/madam.


	18. Chapter Eighteeen

This is for everyone who worried that things were getting to be too much of a bummer. There's light at the end of the tunnel. Promise.  
________________________________________  
"I can't believe you," Sasuke hissed, disgust coloring his words. He valiantly resisted the urge to throttle his teammate. "I left you for two hours- two hours, and when I come back you're calling that woman 'Grandma' and have agreed to learn an S class jutsu in a week. I don't know if I think that you'll fail by blowing yourself up or that she will snap and kill you, but either way you're dead meat."

Naruto sniggered. "Wanna know something?" He ignored his teammate's eye-roll. "The technique she bet I couldn't learn… it's the one the old man started me on. I have a week head start on it." He grinned mischievously. "She's going to have to come back with us and admit that I was right about being Hokage." Sasuke looked spectacularly unimpressed.

"All I've seen you do is make a mess with water balloons," he said shortly. He smirked at his now-fuming teammate. He set down his chopsticks, more interested in baiting his teammate than choking down whatever the hell he'd been served. "The jutsu he's teaching me is much better." That arch tone always pissed his teammate off, even if he wasn't actually sure he believed his lightning technique was better than the Rasengan. 'Lightning is a better element than wind anyway.'

The blonde shoved his teammate, cheeks flushed red with anger. "Nuh-uh! Wind is way better than some stupid lightning bolt."  
"You don't have to pretend you're not jealous. I know I'd be depressed if our places were switched." The brunette was back in his element, taunting Naruto. The blonde really needed to work on how easily he was provoked. He was helping the idiot. Really.  
"Me too," Naruto snapped back. "Your hair is stupid!"

"Are they always like this?" Shizune sighed, chin propped up in her palm, half-heartedly watching the back-and-forth interaction. Jiraiya shrugged distractedly, one hand inching towards her rear end.

'Just… a little closer'.

Jiraiya yelped in sudden pain, falling off his stool at the bar where they had stopped for lunch. Shizune gasped, big dark eyes communicating disappointment with her mentor. "Tsunade-sama!" She really needed to reign in her impulsive violence. It was frightening the civilians, for one thing.

She stopped and wondered if scaring them just a little might get them some real food.

"Oh, lighten up." The older blonde scanned the menu, giving a lopsided smirk to the short blonde when he noticed her and scowled. The boy pushed away his empty dish and stalked off, leaving his fellow genin sitting awkwardly by himself. 'What an idiot. There's no way he'll master Minato's technique. Then I can be free and clear, and it won't even look like my fault. Shouldn't have made a bet with me, brat.' Tsunade accepted a glass of ice water and took a sip. "Where's the idiot going?"

Her old teammate gave the boy's back a distracted glance. "Who, the brat? He's doing his training outside of town. Hey, shortstuff," he barked. The Uchiha who had been staring into his soup as though it held all the answers to the universe bristled like an offended cat. "Go work with your teammate. Make sure he doesn't get carried away by wolves or something."  
The other boy gave him a positively scathing look and stalked off with a prissy little hip movement. Tsunade didn't hide her snicker.

"Are you really worried about Naruto-kun?" Shizune asked, poking at her food with her chopsticks. She had thought she was used to cheap roadside food stands, but the place Jiraiya had led them to was in a league of its own. The older man shook his head, sending his ridiculous hair flying.

"Nah, he'll be fine. I just can't eat with that little stormcloud hanging around." He made a face. "I'd forgotten what a bummer Uchiha are."

Shizune sighed, pushing her food away mostly uneaten. 'I didn't think the kid was so bad. At least he has the excuse of acting his age when he picks a fight.' She eyed her two companions, who were already on the verge of coming to blows again.  
________________________________________

The hospital room was cold, clinical, and smelled far too strongly of the bouquet that blonde Ino girl had dropped off, arranging blossoms into apparent perfection in between trading insults. Karin had no idea what the hell a 'hibiscus' was, but it sounded like fighting words to her. "This sucks." Karin gave in to her urge and threw her book across the room, letting it collide with the wall. It flopped over accusingly.

"I can't take it anymore!" she outright yelled. "That's it." She clenched a fist. "If you're too stupid to wake up when you should, I'm going to go home where I'm comfortable!"

That wasn't entirely true. With both of her cousins unavailable, she felt a little out of place. The Hokage had welcomed her, but he was dying. Karin's position in the village was precarious—whoever ended up in charge might not be so lenient and right now she was totally without friendly support. Maybe it was time to seek out some of the people her cousin had introduced her to, like the weird couple in the green spandex. Karin had seen enough to know that politically inconvenient people could disappear without a trace. If no one was looking out for her, she might be better off out of the village if nothing changed soon. She felt a shiver up her spine, but she ignored the fear. Her cousin was going to wake up soon.

"Karin-san," one of the attending nurses sighed, poking his head into the room. "What have we told you about volume in the hospital?"

Karin gave him a disparaging look. "She's in a coma," she said flatly. "So is her sensei in the room to the left, and the room to the right is empty."

"Yes, but I'd have to be in a coma not to hear you from the station," he mumbled sotto voice. When she frowned, he hastily added, "Please control your volume. I'm afraid you've been disturbing other patients."

"I was leaving anyway." She pretended not to see his relief, packing up, grudgingly taking even that stupid book she was starting to hate. The introductory section on poisons in her apprenticeship was boring her to tears. What was the point of memorizing the parts of hundreds of plants and their effects? She'd just have the injured party bite her. That'd solve the problem, right? When Karin had suggested that to Mito-sensei, the older woman had actually gotten a bit upset and sent her to work reading case studies. Apparently she shouldn't be letting strange people get their bodily fluids in her blood, especially if they were poisoned. Who knew, right?

"Oh! I am sorry!"

"Don't worry about it," Karin waived off the girl who had been outside the room when she opened the door. Then red eyes narrowed in recognition. "Hey, I know you."

The girl blushed, looking like a porcelain doll with those huge, unnatural looking eyes. "Ah, yes. Uzumaki-san, right? I was going to…" She trailed off, awkwardly holding up her bandaged arms as if to put up a barrier between the two. She cleared her throat. "I wanted to see how Aiko-san is doing," the girl finally managed to squeak.

'What is with this kid? I didn't think she was this much of a mouse when she was kicking the stuffing out of enemy genin.'  
Actually, Karin had enjoyed a riot of a good time fending off the weak losers sent to retrieve samples of Konoha's bloodlines. Weeks of training under her cousin's supervision had paid off more than she'd realized. Plus, there was something really awesome about reminding herself that she wasn't just a useless little med nin. The little brunette girl had been cool too- at one point, she had knocked a boy out by kicking him in the throat, apologizing all the while. It was pretty amazing. Of course, the shrinking violet in front of her didn't have much resemblance to the girl in business mode.

Karin sighed, closing the door behind her. "She's still in a coma. We have no idea when she'll be up, although apparently some specialist is supposed to be coming here. Mito-sensei says that if this woman can't fix her, no one can." At the way the other girl fidgeted, something about her incredibly long convalescence finally made sense. "You too? Your hands must be bad if no one here can fix them. You busy?"

The girl looked up, surprised. "Ah, no. Not really."

"Alright then. You're coming home with me. I need someone to eat ice cream with and commiserate, and I bet you have as much to vent as I do." She started off down the hall. "Well?"

The little brunette hurried behind her, looking uncertain but reluctant to tell her no. "I don't think I'm supposed to leave the hospital, Uzumaki-san!"

"Pft." She waved a hand dismissively. "Why not? If Aiko wake up or if the specialist shows up, someone will get us. There's no reason to be miserable until then. I'll be sad if you don't come with," she threatened idly. This girl seemed like a bleeding heart. Her acquiescence implied that either Karin was right or that the girl had actually wanted to come with anyway. They traveled most of the way in silence, just enjoying the nice weather. The sunshine and healthy breeze were a marked change from the stuffy hospital.

They paused for a moment at the door, Karin struggling to pick out her key from inside her shorts pocket. The other girl seemed to be looking around, something strange in her expression. "You have a lovely home."

Karin took a second to examine Uzumaki Manor (Naruto's insistence) from an outsider's perspective. The garden out front was riotous, ignoring pretty much all conventions about tasteful decorating despite Ino's best efforts. It had been made with a little too much youth and orange in mind. The house itself looked fine, though. Relatively nondescript and clean. "Thank you. Uh, by the way." She glanced at her companion. "What's your name again?"

The girl smiled shyly up at her, slipping off her shoes in the entryway. "Hyuuga Hinata. Please, call me Hinata, Uzumaki-san."  
Karin grinned in response, flipping on the lights and stuffing her feet into fluffy houseslippers. "Then you should call me Karin, Hinata-chan. Chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla? Naruto made something really terrible with packets of ramen seasoning if you feel adventurous."

________________________________________  
Pain.

Pain to the point where the questions had long since become white noise. She had enough sense to be grateful for that. If she remembered what he wanted, she probably would have told him, even though she knew she had thought it was important not to tell.

Important even though it didn't make sense. He was gone, right? He didn't know what was going on in her genjutsu couldn't wouldn't know. Not the way genjutsu work.

Never even heard of such a thing. Ridiculous.

Then again, everything is ridiculous. And why would he do this if he couldn't find out? He must. Mustmustmust. Shush. Shhhhhh.

It's so light. Never gets dark, the only shadows come from the moon. Want to just sleep or die. It wouldn't make much difference at this point. Can't die in here. Everything is backwards, only black and white and redredred, killing doesn't make you die. Does living make you dead? No, that's not the parallel. Thinking is hard but I know this. Yes. Does giving life make dead? Healing.

I should ask.

Aiko coughed up blood in the illusory world (I know it's not real, not real, but just one quick question, yes) and casually asked something she didn't hear. Maybe he didn't either. "Pretty eyes," she tried, placatingly.

And then it changed.

The moon flickered, then was white. Ridiculous, the moon is made of cheese should be yellow. It painted pale light instead of dark. The ground became pockmarked with shadow instead of smothered in a thick coat. She became aware of a whimpering sound.

Itachi left in clinical light. She didn't have time to say byebye before he was replaced with the top half of a blonde woman, frowning.

The moon was gone.

Aiko frowned, not even trying to move a muscle in her hospital bed. Something was wrong. She had just been upright.

"Where did the moon go?" is that my voice? Raspy like a smoker.

"Hush," the woman snapped, doing something she couldn't see. "Get out of here, you idiots. If I want a circus I will personally come and find you clowns." She shone a light down, and Aiko yelped, moving for the first time to escape it. "Stop that. Follow the light. Are you with me? Good."

Bewildered but willing to accept this change in the situation, Aiko obediently followed orders. Orders were good. She was used to orders.

"How are you feeling? Any unusual pains?"

That was a harder question. "Unusual?"

"Oh, never mind." The woman gave a heavy sigh. "Do you remember what happened?"

"…What happened?"

"I will take that as a no." Blonde lady picked up a clipboard and wrote something on it, a tiny crease between her eyebrows. "Ask your sensei about it later, then. I don't know what the hell happened either. I'm going to go wake him up now. Any questions?"  
Aiko shook her head. "You're really pretty."

Pretty lady barked a laugh. "You've got better taste than your brother." The woman left the room without another word, which stymied Aiko for a moment. She frowned—at the light outside the window, at the door that led to the hallway, and then down at her bare feet when she swung them over the edge of the bed and tottered across the cold tile to follow the older woman like an errant puppy. She was taking orders and hadn't been told stay.

Naruto and Sasuke didn't seem to understand that, though. The old man with them tried to stop her, putting an arm in front of the door the pretty lady had gone through.

"Hey now, miss. Shouldn't you be in bed?"

Well, that wasn't right. "Shouldn't you, old guy? I'm following." Then she stopped to frown, registering his face. "I remember you. With the ink the night Naruto scared the orphanage lady. Good job." She patted his head, and then ducked under his surprised arm and into the room.

Hey, sensei's here. Sensei was taking a nap, but the pretty lady was waking him up. Like Sleeping Beauty.

She stopped in the middle of the room. That wasn't quite right, was it? That would make Kakashi the princess. Aiko toddled over to investigate, wondering if her sensei's face was uncovered. Nope. Still. "I bet you're a pretty princess," she said loyally, watching as he blearily turned his one open eye to her instead of at the little light. Then she turned to investigate the sound of choking behind her. It was the old man. Aiko felt concerned. "Pretty lady? The old man sounds bad."

"That sounds about right," the blonde lady said distractedly, going through the same questions she had with Aiko. Then she jumped a little, turning to glare. "You should be in bed."

Aiko looked around the room. There was only one bed, but orders. " 'kay." She clambered beside her sensei, who looked downright alarmed. Then she went the fuck to sleep.

The next time she awoke was a good nine hours later, and she felt much more rational, despite the ache in her head. Her groan must have alerted someone, because the light flicked on and she discovered Karin's face uncomfortably close to hers.

"Ugh, haven't you ever heard of the Geneva convention?"

Karin frowned, sharing more of her morning breath when she asked "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, nothing." She blinked blearily, drawing one hand up to wipe at her eyes and using the other to prop herself up to survey the room. It was relatively late in the evening—at least eight. She frowned. 'Definitely past visiting hourse.' She could understand Karin being here, but her sensei? It seemed just as strange that Naruto wasn't. Was he hurt?

"What's going on?" She flexed her muscles, feeling unusually weak. Aiko transitioned into a stretch, getting a feel for her body's deterioration. "How long was I out?"

Karin backed up to give her some space, stealing a glance at the other person in the room who had yet to speak. "Uh, a little over two weeks total. More recently, about nine hours since you first woke up."

Surprised, Aiko furrowed her brow. "I woke up before?"

"You were slightly more incoherent than usual," Sasuke drawled as he pushed open the door, closely followed by Naruto. "You helpfully informed us that Kakashi was a pretty princess."

"Neechan!" Naruto practically leapt onto the bed beside her, throwing his arms around her middle. "Are you okay? You won't believe what happened while you were out."

She absentmindedly patted his arm, snaking one of her own around his shoulders and squeezing reassuringly. "I'm fine."  
"Don't tease, Sasuke," her teacher reprimanded lightly. Something about his posture seemed very serious. "Essentially, she went almost three weeks without sleep. I think she can be forgiven a little delirium."

"And you still haven't slept," a new voice said dryly. The figure it belonged to was ringed in light from the doorway, but easily identifiable as a woman. "Well boys, you did it. You dragged me back here and into four surgeries, three of which were brain operations. I hope you're happy." She sauntered in closer, revealing long blonde hair tied back in twin ponytails.

"Is Hinata-chan going to be alright, then?" Karin asked curiously, surprisingly Aiko. 'I didn't even know she knew Hinata.'  
The reply was a withering glare. "Of course she is. Physical therapy is going to be a pain, but she seems to think it's a fair trade for the use of her hands."

Something connected in Aiko's brain, and she hastily sat the rest of the way up. "Tsunade-sama?"

"Yepp." Tsunade smirked at her, an expression that was all feline grace and trouble personified. "Although the last time we spoke, you called me 'Pretty Lady.' "

Instead of blushing, Aiko faked confusion, turning to Sasuke. "I thought you said I wasn't making sense when I first woke up, Sasuke-kun?"

"Don't flatter." The woman lightly hit her upside the back of the head, then took the opportunity to run a scan with fingers that glowed green. The reprimand didn't sting, light as it was. "You seem much better now. How do you feel?"

"Perfectly fine, but with a bit of a headache," she said honestly.

"Mmm." The light flickered into something a shade lighter. "This better?"

Aiko sighed contentedly. "Yes, thank you."

"Good." Then she hit her upside the back of the head, with some force this time. "That was for trying to fight an S-class criminal within village borders. Idiot. That's the most sickeningly Uzumaki thing I've ever heard of. We have plenty of Jounin and ANBU." She ignored the grumbling from Naruto and Karin's confused "Eh?" at the slur against their last name. "As your new Hokage, you are now forbidden to do anything so stupid. Clear?"

"Clear as crystal," she mumbled, feeling a little wronged. She hadn't had much of a choice.

"As for the rest of you morons… Naruto, Jiraiya was right. It's unsafe for you to be in the village. You're going to be leaving with him tomorrow, so say your goodbyes."

He stood up so abruptly that the bed moved back with a screech against the floor. "What? That's unfair!"

She grabbed him by the front of the jacket and practically snarled into his face. "Fair doesn't factor into it. Those men were looking for you, idiot! You want to lead them to your friends?" With that thoroughly unfair emotional manipulation out of the way, she added, "Besides, I'm your Hokage. Don't question my orders."

"Not Hokage yet," he mumbled a little bitterly, jerking out of her grip.

Tsunade turned her attention to her next victim. Sensing that this situation wasn't going to get any prettier, Karin gave a hasty wave, mumbled something about Hinata, and started edging towards the door. "And you, brat. What the hell were you doing, running off into ANBU the moment something went wrong? You had three students left. Clearly you aren't in your right mind. I'm putting you on light duty- no ANBU, no genin team, and no missions over B-class until you straighten out your head." Her tone changed to something more sympathetic. "You'll be meeting with Shizune to sort out the genjutsu aftereffects twice next week. If you try to skip, I'll assume you're trying to say that you don't think they're necessary for your little apprentice either."  
Aiko cringed. 'Low blows,' she thought miserably while Tsunade tore her teacher apart.

"Hold on," Sasuke interrupted, looking pissed. "If Naruto is leaving with the old pervert and Kakashi can't teach genin, what am I supposed to do?"

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "That's not my problem right now. I'll figure it out. Surely there's some genin team out there who can take an extra."

"That's not good enough!" he snapped. He gave her his highest level bitch-face, the one that actually made Chuunin uncomfortable back in the Academy. Aiko had always suspected it reminded people of his father. "Weird or not, Kakashi's one of the best Jounin in the village. I won't be dumped on some idiot when I need to get stronger. You teach me."

"Like you could keep up with me," she scoffed, turning away and making for the door.

"Coward. Do you always avoid responsibility?"

Tsunade slowwwwly turned around, a shit-your-pants-terrifying smile on her face. "Fine. You can try my training for a week." She left. Sasuke smirked, and then seemed to realize what had happened. She could practically see the moment he wondered if he really had won or not. In the silence that followed, Aiko moved to squeeze her sensei's hand.

"You should get to bed. Training in the morning, sensei?" She gave him a hug around the waist. Mechanically, he fluffed her hair, already messy and floofed up in the back with bedhead.

"Well, that was pleasant." He backed away from his students and uncomfortably put his hands in his pocket. "I suppose this is goodbye for a while, Naruto."

"Yeah." The blonde hung his head and swallowed hard. When he looked up again, his expression was steel. "I'll get strong enough that it won't matter if those jackasses come around again."

"I believe it," their teacher said quietly, fondly. He didn't quite manage to look at any of them. "Well, look at the time! I should take my cat for a walk." None of them was really surprised by the shunshin that followed.

________________________________________

"Turns out she may have earned that title," Sasuke groaned, lethargically picking at his vegetables from the hot pot.

Aiko tried her best not to snicker, pulling out another piece of meat with her chopsticks. At her side, Karin actually managed a sympathetic look. "Medical stuff is way harder than it looks," she commiserated, looking irritatingly pristine next to her filthy and battered dining partners. They exchanged dirty looks. Karin obliviously tapped her fingers on the tabletop.

"I haven't learned a single jutsu," Sasuke said flatly, staring at the table as if he hoped it would leap up and kill him. "She beats me around for about an hour, gives me a list of exercises and then hits me with a book to read before the end of the day. Then she saunters away to drink. (Tsunade was enjoying her last days of freedom before the hat was officially hers.) The best part is that she occasionally sends a minion to attack me while I study."

'He really should have expected she would make his life hell,' Aiko thought fondly. She was cranky like that. Of course, she had been ridiculously full of herself since she had re-entered Konoha… but not without reason.

Tsunade had reason to be smug. She had managed to bring the third Hokage out of his coma the day before she had tried to help Hinata, Kakashi and Aiko. He was infirm and would likely never be able to so much as take the stairs at a decent clip again, but it was a small price to pay for his life. Granted, he was elderly and probably didn't have that much time left anyway, but better to die on his own terms than due to a former student's treachery. Once he caught up on the situation, he was actually happy enough to cry, Naruto had related solemnly. And why not? His village was saved, two of his wayward students had returned (if only for a while in Jiraiya's case), and he finally had a successor he could trust the village to. It was almost an unnecessary bonus that the near-death shock had thawed the worst of the hostilities between him and his only living family.  
________________________________________  
Omake

"What are you doing?" Ino screeched, rushing across the field of wildflowers to stop the travesty against nature she had barely caught in time. Lee blinked, confused, switching his gaze between her and the bouquet he had assembled himself.

"What do you mean, Ino-san? You told me to pick out flowers. These are the most youthful!" He gave her a thumbs-up. "I thought the colors were lovely, and I have a certain fondness for lotuses!"

"Lee… That bouquet…" She shook her head, struggling for words. When she started again, her tone was clinical. "Lotuses mean 'Love from afar', orange lilies mean 'hatred' and 'revenge'; and white carnations are for engagements," she hissed, not nearly as calm as she had been when they started. "What message, exactly, are you trying to convey? Because right now, you will terrify the person you inform that you love and hate them even though they don't know you because they wronged you, possibly by being engaged. Or possibly that you are now engaged, which may surprise them just a bit."

He examined his pretty pink, orange and white bouquet uncertainly. "Ano, Ino-san… do you think Gai-sensei's rival is familiar with flower language?"

She took a moment to process the implications of that statement, remembered how Naruto had loudly complained that the man seemed to know everything, imagined how said man would react, and gave an enormous, fake smile. "I bet you're right! When we're done here, I'll get you the perfect vase before we go over to the hospital."

'I have to remember to tell Asuma-sensei. He'll enjoy this.'

"Come on, Lee. Art and Crafts time isn't over. I still need hibiscus and spider lily. Then we can go to my house and I'll teach you how to arrange them."

 


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Karin had long since fallen asleep, mouth hanging open and the candles by her bed still flickering. Aiko sat in the near-darkness of her own room, knees up to her chest. The last few days had been hard. Not quite as hard as her one day with Naruto before he had left again for what would probably be a two year trip. The thought made her incredibly miserable. They had missed their birthday while he had been gone, so they had bumbled their way through an incredibly depressing birthday lunch, avoiding the conversations they should have had.

'Not entirely sure there's anything to say, anyway.' Aiko knew her brother inside and out, and he had a similar read on her. They both knew damn well that they were not going to enjoy the long separation, but there was no way to know how they would cope with it. They'd never been apart for longer than a few weeks while Aiko was on missions.

Aiko still wasn't in her right mind, frankly. If anything, she was getting worse. When she had first woken up, she had been disoriented and had managed to block out the trauma from the extended genjutsu. She had only begun to remember when she went to sleep again, waking up shrieking and sweating.

'At least I 'met' Jiraiya before they left this time,' she half-groused, half meant in seriousness. He had given her the strangest look- as though she wasn't what he had expected or something. He had been exactly what she expected, though, both from her foreknowledge and the uncomplimentary description provided by both boys. (Surprisingly, for once Sasuke had been just as vocal in his displeasure as Naruto). She had made the calculated decision not to tell either one of them that she actually read his books just yet.

Every night that she went to sleep, things just got worse. Unluckily, the night terrors hadn't really become an issue until after the second of her counseling sessions was done—the first day, she had barely been affected at all, and when she had checked back in on the fourth day, she was just starting to feel worn down.

Paranoia was a shinobi virtue, up there with 'stealth' and 'moral flexibility', but she had become so jumpy that it was getting hard to function.

'I wonder how sensei is doing. Is he having dreams like this?'

Kakashi-sensei had snapped so far back into his 'normal' behavior that she was caught between thinking it had to be an act or that he had gotten some really excellent drugs. Really, the only difference was that he was now pushing her much harder than he ever had before in training. (Then again, he'd never been able to be solely focused on her training, so the assessment may not have been fair). It had only been about a week and a half since the two of them woke up in the hospital. He had viciously leapt into improving both of their physical condition after their deterioration in the hospital, and then into working to improve rapidly. His sudden drive, now that she thought about it, probably meant that he was angry with himself about losing that fight so easily. A man who had made ANBU before he had stopped growing probably had not been concerned with drastically improving his conditioning in a long time.

'Then again, his casual, emotionally removed attitude was probably always an act to some extent.' Moonlight played with shadows through the trees outside her window and she shivered. Aiko unfolded her legs and dug out an old sweater, quietly slipping out of the house and into the night. Too late she realized her legs were still bare, but she stubbornly kept to the rock path through the backyard, trying to find enjoyment in the cool night air. It was utterly impractical for a shinobi to freeze up at the sight of the moon. A lot of her work was done at night. She had to get over it.

Her best assessment was that she now had a sliiiight tendency to get twitchy at the moon and a bit of insomnia. If she couldn't work through it on her own, she would go back to the hospital to talk to Shizune, she decided. But that wasn't her biggest worry.

She didn't remember most of her time in the Tsukyomi. There was no way to know what she had told Itachi. Karin might be in danger. She could have shared anything about Konoha's current state of political unrest or personnel (what little she knew, anyway).

Logic managed to calm most of those concerns—Itachi was loyal to Konoha. Even if he found out anything he couldn't through other channels (unlikely, as he was a resourceful person) he would be unlikely to misuse the information. If he knew about Karin, he would probably also find out that her power was unique and couldn't be used against him normally. Even if he didn't, the fact that he had not killed her when he easily could have indicated that he was willing to risk a possible threat to live. He was a bit of a soft touch.

Was Itachi enough of a soft touch to do absolutely nothing about any precognitive knowledge he may have gotten from her? She could have said anything in those seventy-two hours of pain. There was always the hope that he would have taken any shared information as the ravings of someone willing to say anything…

Putting all her hope on that rather unlikely outcome put a sick feeling in her gut. From what she knew, he was a nearly unrivaled professional and would have easily been able to get her to confirm information he would have known.

"There's nothing for it," she sighed. Aiko bent her legs and jumped all the way up onto a nearby home, using it as a bouncing pad to bound up to the higher levels of roofs that comprised the ninja speedway across town. 'May as well start training early. I'm not going to get back to sleep.'

________________________________________  
In as far back as any of the recent Konoha graduates could remember, the streets had never been so full. The older generation, on the other hand, remembered a day even grander, before the Kyuubi had leveled half the village and when the population was considerably higher. Even festival days (rare as they were in a military village) paled in comparison. The spectacle was ridiculous—someone had managed to locate a sheet big enough to cover the new head on the mountain (produced by some doton master in a downright shockingly short period of time), all the civilians were in formal clothing while every active duty nin in the village wore their actual uniform for once, and candles burnt on every windowsill in contrast with the quickly setting sun.

The crowd jostled excitedly when the figure finally appeared on the balcony of the main administration tower overlooking the largest street, civilians screaming wildly. Most of the soldiers were more disciplined, but some of them were jumping up and down as well… especially when the Third hobbled up to stand at Tsunade's right, slightly behind her and waving reservedly.  
Her speech was pretty standard stuff, concluding with the enormous sheet cascading off the mountain to reveal her face in a predictable theatric display. At least Aiko thought so, but the crowd really went wild for it. She rolled her eyes slightly, but clapped along good-naturedly. They had reason to be happy, she supposed, even if they were total saps to think that the pleasantries she was giving really meant much. They were just the sorts of things that politicians said. But Tsunade was a pretty damn stand-up person. She'd do alright.

Never particularly fond of crowds, she snuck away as soon as she possibly could without causing scandal. Above the crowd, Tsunade was similarly impatient to get back to the conversation she had been having with her predecessor and sensei, feeling her face start to hurt from the downright unusual smile she had been holding. The expression had come naturally for once—despite being a habitual grump, she had felt the crowd's exhilaration.

It slid right off her face when the balcony doors were safely closed and the office darkened. She found her way behind her new desk, waiting until Sarutobi managed to seat himself until she steepled her fingers in front of her face and gave him a stern, demanding expression that she had never had reason to give her old superior. "Now. What was it you were saying about information I had to have if I was really going to take the job?"

A muscle twitched in his neck, and the third Hokage felt his age settle around his shoulders again. "Only a few are privy to the darker parts of Konoha's history. I had hoped that these secrets would die with me, but my old friend Danzo…" he shook his head slowly. "has been causing trouble. Do you remember that in my first term as Hokage, not long before Minato's appointment I found out about his secret force within the ANBU?"

She waved a hand. "Vaguely."

He cleared his throat. "Yes, quite. I had it dissolved, but I have recently had cause to believe that he did not follow my orders. I let it slide longer than I should…"

"Damn right you did!" she snapped, scowling. "That's treason. You should have had his head! Are you telling me that a traitor has his own military faction? You are certain?"

"Yes…" Sarutobi tightened his grip on his walking stick, not appreciating her tone. His response was a little harsh. "Things are not so simple as you seem to think. Not only does Danzo have a great deal of respect and power on his own, but he has the support of the small council."

She gave him a slow blink in reply, unimpressed behind her folded fingers. "Koharu and Homura have been supporting a traitor?"  
"They're my teammates," he protested, not liking where this was going. "They have provided guidance to the village for longer than you've been in service, my dear."

Her eyes narrowed dangerously, but for now she didn't comment. "Is there anything else I need to know? Any other dangerous secrets that might come around to haunt me?" Her words were almost mocking, but she was clearly serious.

He closed his eyes slowly. He had never wanted to share this particular shame with anyone, and if her reactions so far were any judge, Tsunade would not be pleased. With a failure like this in his past, did he really deserve forgiveness?  
"What do you know about the Uchiha massacre?"

She blinked, surprised. "That was almost five years ago. I was long gone from the village. All I know is that some clan prodigy snapped and killed everyone but the little grump who came with Jiraiya to drag me home."  
He exhaled slowly, looking away. "Concise, but not exactly correct. Uchiha Itachi was not and is not 'snapped,' as you so diplomatically put it. He executed the Uchiha clan on orders from Danzo."

The resulting "WHAT?!" broke through the silencing seals and insulated door separating the civilian secretary from the conversation. She jumped so suddenly that her elbow managed to knock over the bottle of ink on her desk, ruining the top papers she had been working on with the new schedule.

Back inside the office, Tsunade was white with fury. "Are you insane?" she roared, now standing straight up behind her desk. Her old mentor stared back at her with a practiced calm that she now thought looked a lot like an indication that he wasn't quite all there. "Why the hell isn't that man in custody?"

"The Uchiha were planning a coup," he explained calmly. "The extermination was planned as a last resort, but he gave the order too soon. By the time I knew, it had already been done. Uchiha Itachi is and always has been loyal to Konoha. His only request was that I keep his brother safe. I have done my best to ensure that. Itachi is now serving undercover in what seems to be an extremely dangerous organization of high-class missing nin."

She sat, feeling a rush of chemicals flooding her brain. Tsunade vaguely recognized she was in shock. Rubbing at her face, she searched for the appropriate words to explain what she was thinking. "Do you know why he jumped the kunai?"

Sarutobi's face tightened. "Danzo disagreed with my assessment that the situation could be resolved through other means."

"Of course he did." The youthful-looking blonde suddenly felt far too old to be taking up this job. "Sensei, what the hell are you thinking? That man, along with anyone who supports his treason, needs to go.' Tsunade hung her head quietly, swallowing hard. She had grown up hating the Uchiha. As a member of the dwindling Senju, it was almost a litmus test. But this… this was far more monstrous than the sick tragedy of a boy inured to horror far too soon killing his family in a fit, as she had thought was the case. The thought that her village had condoned this made her want to run right back out the gates and never come back. She had left because she felt this place was a death trap. Learning that her sensei had covered up this monstrosity for almost half a decade… a muscle twitched in her jaw. This didn't inspire confidence.

'No more,' she decided silently. The Third Hokage sat quietly, awaiting the tongue-lashing he knew was coming. 'I don't care that he doesn't want to publically shame his old friends. They have to go. Every last one of them.' She eyed her sensei, the man who she had respected. No more. 'He… it's a good thing I hadn't actually announced that I was planning on putting him on my new council.'

Instead of raging, her voice was ice. To a man who knew her, the disdain and anger were obvious. "It is long past time that the small council is replaced with more capable advisors. They were appointed almost fifty years ago, after all. Danzo, Koharu, and Himura will all be removed from their positions in the village hierarchy and replaced. You are going to help me make that happen with every last bit of power and support you have, or I will have this travesty made public and them all burned as traitors. That may still happen if they fight against their retirements. I am being merciful. If the clans knew about this, far worse would happen."

His jaw worked silently for a long moment. He had expected a lot of things, but that wasn't one of them. "That's impossible," he protested. "Such a thing has never been done!"

"The village is only what, four generations old," she pointed out coldly. "We aren't exactly talking about ancient traditions. Besides, this is a military dictatorship answerable only to the Daimyo. Do not think to tell me that something cannot be done."  
Sarutobi slumped back in his chair, confounded by the logistics of what he had just been ordered to do by his Hokage (and at this moment, she was definitely his Hokage instead of his student). "We could ask them to retire," he suggested weakly.  
She raised one eyebrow condescendingly. "And risk them resisting?"

"You could threaten them as charmingly as you have me," he said rather waspishly. Tsunade looked completely unrepentant.  
"That's one option," she decided. "I don't like it, but it is noted. Anything else?"

"How does anyone ever get removed from power?" Sarutobi's fingers itched for his habitual pipe. "We make them want to leave, we remove their support by undermining their credentials or swaying opinion to a more suitable candidate, or we ensure that they are incapable of continuing." He frowned. "I do, of course, not recommend the last option."

"It's not off the table yet," she muttered darkly. With a flare of chakra, she turned off the privacy seals keeping the office locked away. As if summoned, an ANBU guard flickered into the room. "Go bring me Nara Shikaku and ANBU turtle," she said briskly.  
Sarutobi protested vocally, holding up a hand. The ANBU actually stopped for a moment, reflexively obeying the Hokage he had served under all his life until now.

"I said go!" Tsunade barked. As the masked man left, she leveled a look at her old sensei that implied he was shit under her sandals. "You do not give orders to my ANBU," she purred dangerously. "Nor do you get to decide with whom I share information. I have been removed from village politics for almost a decade. I need a view I can trust." She leaned forward, eyes glittering. "Clearly, I cannot trust your judgment. You should have stayed retired the first time."

He had no reply for that particular bit of bluntness.

"You will remain while I explain the situation, just in case there is anything else that needs to be cleared up. Then you will be dismissed. I shouldn't have to remind you that you are strictly forbidden to utter a word of the discussion that happened in this office, but apparently you need to have the obvious spelled out with small words. I would suggest that you go straight home, as you will be accompanied by an ANBU I trust who will be under orders to immediately eliminate anyone that you breathe a word of this matter to." She gave him a cool smile that was distinctly devoid of any friendliness. He bowed his head to her judgment. It was her job, now.

When the two that had been summoned were both in her office (Turtle had been working with his genin team and had needed to change out of his leotard), Tsunade dismissed the other ANBU but gestured for Turtle to stand in the corner while she re-activated the privacy seal. It was most unusual, but neither man seemed to bat an eye.

Until the shame-faced Third Hokage got to the grand revelation, that was. He outright flinched away from the shocked horror on one of his most trusted follower's faces and the uncharacteristic stiffness in Turtle's posture.

"Shit," Shikaku cursed, running his hands through his hair in a stressed gesture. "Shit. I can't—this is all true?" At the nod of confirmation, he let loose a string of curses that practically dyed the air blue. "Why… Why are you telling me this? This knowledge could tear Konoha apart. If the clans knew that not only had the council approved genocide, but that the man who went behind your back to give the order not only escaped punishment but remained in a position of power for five years after the fact, there would be riots in the streets. There should be riots in the streets!"

Tsunade smoothly cut in for the first time since she'd prodded Sarutobi to start talking. "So that you can help me figure out how to get every last one of those bastards out on their ears," she hissed, just as angry. "ANBU Turtle, your current assignment is to shadow the former Hokage." Her lip curled. "This is both for his protection, as I assume he will be invaluable for fixing this massive fuckup, but to ensure that he does not speak a word of what was discussed here to any of his old friends, since apparently his judgment is far past questionable. You will be relieved by Wolf. Report back to me as soon as you have been relieved."

Turtle bowed deeply.

Tsunade gave her former mentor a scathing look. "Now you get the hell out of my office. I don't want to look at you."  
A hysterical bubble of laughter escaped the Nara after Sarutobi left, impassive but shamed. "I just… shit. I can't believe this. The highest level of our government is filled with traitors." He paced in place, the infamous Nara intellect working full-tilt. "This isn't going to be easy, you know." Then he frowned. "Actually, with old dogs like these, easy might be the best way to go. All three of them are schemers. Publically announce their retirements and replacements and don't give them a chance to refute anything. None of them are likely to make a scene."

"They aren't likely to give up either," she pointed out darkly. "The two council members may well be loyal enough to stand down. But they may also see this as the act of a dictator and believe that the loyal act would be to oppose it. That's even excluding the possibility that they have gotten used to power and privilege. Danzo, on the other hand…" she trailed off, shaking with fury. "is definitely power hungry. He attempted to get inaugurated as the fifth Hokage. He has a private militia of unknown size and a history of outright traitorous action. He cannot be trusted to stand down."

Shikaku slipped his hands into his pockets, slouching slightly in thought. "It seems likely that an attempt to process him for his crimes will end badly," he pointed out, resigned. "He could send his forces against us or have them protect him. Danzo is wily. There is almost no chance we could get him locked away safely without exposing the crime. The Third Hokage might be lynched in the streets."

"Is there any reason he should escape the consequences of his actions?" she asked, bitterness obvious.

The man shrugged. "If what he mentioned about Itachi's current assignment is accurate, letting this information out would probably both end his life and lose our informant."

Tsunade cradled her head in her hands, wishing the world was as simple as she had thought it was only two hours ago when she was cheered by hundreds. She had promised those people that they were under her protection. It had seemed a little easier without an immediate crisis. Her mind went to that skinny Uchiha brat who she had been beating around the training field. The kid actually wasn't so bad—a little glum, but he had a quick wit and an impressive work ethic. Training him hadn't been terrible, but she hadn't honestly considered taking him on as an apprentice. After all, her specialties wouldn't exactly be the first choice for a self-proclaimed avenger.

Then she had a realization and groaned out loud, confusing the poor stressed Nara in front of her desk. 'I can't very well push him off onto some rookie team now. Not only do I feel bad for the little shit, but he has to be guided away from his goal of killing his brother, who happens to be innocent. Gently. By someone with subtlety, understanding of clinical psychology, and access to the information that his brother is innocent. It has to be me or possibly Shizune. I can't begin to trust anyone else with this. I'm hesitant to put it on poor Shizune's shoulders. He can't possibly find out the truth, not yet.' Poor thing might actually have a psychotic break if she broke it to him suddenly.

"We are going to write a letter to the Daimyo," she decided, returning to the real world. It took Shikaku only a moment to catch on.

He nodded. "I see. Ensuring that our version of events is the one that reaches his ears first, to prevent later problems?"

"You're going to help me compose it, as well as escort it to him personally with your team. I'm pulling all three of you onto the active duty roster for this assignment." She leveled him with a steady stare. "I cannot trust this letter to conventional means, you understand, nor can I unilaterally trust my ANBU now." She winced at that thought. "Kami only knows how I'm going to sort this monstrosity out when I cannot trust my own forces."

"That should be next," Shikaku agreed, gaze drifting over her shoulder to fixate longingly on the blue sky outside. "We should know what kind of forces Danzo has at his disposal before we commit to a course of action."

________________________________________

Sasuke still looked a little shell-shocked when he met Aiko and Karin for morning conditioning a few days after the inauguration, a tradition that had somehow endured even without half of the original workout group. Karin finished the warm-up run first and folded straight over in half, touching the ground between her feet with her elbows.

"What's wrong, Sasuke-san?" She rolled back upwards and stretched straight upwards, palms facing up and fingers interlocked. The other two joined her for their own flexibility stretches. Aiko looked at her male companion, curiously. He hadn't been spending much time with them lately.

"Tsunade offered to take me on as an apprentice."

The girls froze, staring at him with wide eyes. "W-what!?" Aiko tried to process that information, giving a little laugh. 'Well… Sakura isn't around to take the job.' She winced. 'In a way, it makes sense.' He seemed unsure as to what he should think. 'Tsunade has been gone for so long that she could be making a politically charged decision to connect with the younger generation,' she theorized. 'It's probably not a coincidence that her new apprentice is from the clan-heir age group. It could smooth things over for her to have the adulation and some semblance of a personal connection to the age group who will be her new Chuunin and Jounin. Most of the people she worked with are either retiring or leaving active field duty.'  
"That is so cool," Karin gushed. Aiko jerked in surprise. She'd forgotten that she had yet to respond.

"It is pretty awesome," she agreed, swiveling to face him completely. He grunted, stretching one arm behind his head. "Are you going to take her up on it? I mean, wow. Getting trained by a Sannin… Well, I guess it may be slightly more prestigious than getting trained by Kakashi-sensei." She took a moment to hope this wasn't one of the days when he was lurking around to make sure they worked out, not bothering to try to check. He could hide from her. "Not by much", she grudgingly allowed. "He's really awesome."

Sasuke gave an irritated sigh, frowning slightly. "I know that she's powerful, but I never saw myself learning healing," he scowled.

'He's probably wondering if working with Tsunade would prepare him to kill Itachi,' Aiko realized. 'It's certainly not the traditional specialty for someone who plans to hunt an S-class missing nin. Then again, Tsunade is probably one of like six living people outside of the Akatsuki who could hope to fight Itachi. You could argue either way.'

Karin snorted. "What's so wrong with that? No one knows how to take a person apart like a medic does, and Tsunade is the best. Besides, that's not all she can do."

"Ugh," she groaned inappropriately loudly at a sudden and unpleasant thought. The other two turned to look at her questioningly. Aiko shrugged. "I just imagined Sasuke uprooting a tree and swinging it at Kakashi-sensei with Tsunade's super strength one day when he shows up to practice late with another lame excuse. 'I got lost on the road of life,'" she mocked.  
The boy appeared to seriously consider that, a smile tugging at one side of his lips insistently as he started his pull-ups, easily ducking his chin above and below the metal bar between two wooden posts. "He'd deserve it."

The girls joined him, with varying levels of enthusiasm. Karin had a look on her face that implied she would skip this part of conditioning if no one was there to peer pressure her into it. The other two pretended not to hear how rough her breathing got, transitioning to holding their chins above the bar.

"Just two minutes, right," Karin huffed, quickly turning red.

"Yepp," Aiko responded, letting her feet wave slightly in the air. She closed her eyes to concentrate, hating the way her arms began to burn before she was done. "ugh." She let herself fall to the ground, landing in a slight crouch.

"I think I like the idea," Aiko said thoughtfully. "You and Naruto can be like the new Sannin."

"Leaving you to be Orochimaru," Karin giggled, stepping blissfully over the elephant in the room that Aiko wasn't really the third member of that original team. "I don't think that parallel really works out."

"Makes sense, you're the creepy one," Sasuke taunted quietly.

Aiko flushed. "Ah, no. That's not what I meant. I think that has to be Anko. She's the only one with the snake contract now," she pointed out. Sasuke gave her a strangely considering look.

"The only one…" He mused. "Does that mean that the contract reverted to her when he died?" Aiko shrugged. 'Probably.' He seemed to take her shrug as affirmation. "She probably should have an apprentice sign it," he pointed out calmly. "Otherwise it'll be lost when she dies."

________________________________________

Miles and miles away, safely back in one of many temporary bases in Rain country, Itachi allowed himself a moment alone to try to puzzle through the baffling information he had received at the end of the two genjutsu he had cast in Konoha. Judging by the fact that the two had been released within an hour's time, he was almost certain that the Sannin Tsunade had returned to Konoha. It was surprising that Pein had yet to find that out, or if he had he had yet to share the information. Generally Pein seemed to hold to the policy that information was a form of power that should be shared when relevant. It certainly was relevant now, given that he had recently ordered Itachi and Kisame to investigate the rumors (that Itachi knew to be fact) that the Kyuubi jinchuuriki was now in Konoha's active forces.

Itachi knew that the jinchuuriki was now a genin because he was on his otouto's team, under the Copy-Nin. He had a burning desire for more information about his otouto, but had managed to avoid bringing Sasuke up when he tortured his genin teacher. His willpower had been pushed too far by curiosity, however, at the red-headed girl who had mistaken him for his otouto.

'She called him her kohai,' he remembered. That was strange. Sasuke had always been proud, in the way that only a son of the Uchiha could be. The girl had looked to be about his age. Why would Sasuke allow a girl his age to claim mentor status? Itachi masterfully turned his mind away from his wistful desire to see his brother again. (Was he tall? Did he still have mother's eyes? Was he getting strong enough to be safe from Madara's machinations?)

The information he had obtained from the two released genjutsu painted an incomplete picture of the people his otouto was closest to in Konoha. One of them was unsurprising, although it was painful to remember torturing someone he still held a great deal of respect for.

The other… 'Is the girl insane? A spy of some sort?'

Those two options were exponentially more likely than the initial conclusion he had gathered from the utter nonsense she had garbled over the 72 hours in-world that the genjutsu had lasted. Unfortunately, they didn't fit the information. All he had wanted was to know how she had sensed his presence, and that seemed to be the only thing she was not willing to talk about.

He had made the mistake of asking her if she knew who he was and what he was capable of doing to her –apparently, his genjutsu self had an embarrassing flair for the dramatic—and had been rather surprised to hear accurate babble about his career, participation in but not masterminding of the massacre, and his current partner in the Akatsuki… which turned to an outpour about other members. It was almost all information he had shared with Jiraiya, of course, but he would never have told any of that to some Chuunin stationed in Konoha.

There was absolutely no way for her to have the information she'd had. Some of what she had said made no sense at all—he was certain that Orochimaru was dead (even though he'd nearly had heart failure when he processed the information that Orochimaru had tried to use a mind-control seal on Sasuke). But there was no earthly way he could imagine for her to know that Pein was not the leader of Akatsuki.

'Clumsy, in addition to whatever insanity she possesses,' Itachi mused, completely ignoring the fighting going on between his fellow Akatsuki nearby. 'If she holds information like that, she should be able to protect it. Had I been anyone else, I would go back to kill her.'

Being who he was, he did not mind having someone else know that Madara was a threat. But how? That was troubling. The Sharingan had been known to give predictive powers that relied on probability and minute cues that the human mind didn't consciously notice, but to the best of his knowledge there wasn't truly anything that could allow someone to predict the future. Yet she would have to be a seer in order to know what she did, unless there was something very large that he was overlooking.  
'Sasuke… you have fallen in with strange people.' A Jinchuuriki, the Copy-Nin, and that strange girl who knew too much… 'This will require further investigation,' he decided grimly, packing for an extended mission. It was time to find an old contact.  
________________________________________

OMAKE- the cat (who has been offstage for far too long)

"Mraow." Smaug stared down his houseservant, tail flicking slightly. The redhead gave a groan, slumping over on the couch where she had been half-watching a cooking show and trying to nap.

"Oh come on, I just let you out. Pick one. Are you a jungle cat, or a futon cat. You can't be both."

Karin snorted, pushing a messy strand behind her ear with her pencil. "Please don't tell me the cat is winning psychological warfare with you again."

Aiko scowled at her housemate. "I'm smarter than the cat." She picked the fluffy feline up around his middle and cuddled him to her chest, playing with his paws. "Aren't I," she crooned. "Hmm, Mr. Pretty Paws?" She crinkled her nose. Smaug looked thoroughly unimpressed.

"Ugh, gross. Aiko, you're going to die alone covered in cats. You need to get a boyfriend." Karin flipped the page of her incredibly boring medical text, red eyes and sharp mind operating independently of her mouth.

"I'm thirteen," the other girl shot back, letting the cat flop off her lap and then getting to her feet. "I have a while yet." She propped open the front door, knowing that it would be easier than catering to the cat. Smaug would catch and kill any bugs that flew in anyways.  
________________________________________  
edited on 12/22/2013; same day as original posting. I should probably start re-reading these before I post, but waiting is just so hard.


	20. Chapter Twenty

"You're kidding, right," Kakashi said flatly in a way that implied he had little hope his Hokage was joking and was instead banking on using his one uncovered eye to light her on fire. White Hatake chakra had been known to have some unusual effects, after all.

No such luck. Despite his best efforts, Tsunade remained stubbornly not-on-fire.

The two kunoichi who had been paired with him for the mission tried not to snicker, but the woman behind the desk made no such concession to his dignity. Tsunade smirked up at one of her top ninja, fully prepared to send him on a mission far below his caliber in a relatively transparent attempt to force him to calm his nerves after what she classified as a minor breakdown.

"I don't joke, Hatake-chan. Have your cute little apprentice help you with your hair. Don't worry, it'll all wash out when you get back and apply the second bottle." He frowned down morosely at the dark red hair dye in his hands. "If you weren't so distinct looking, this wouldn't be necessary," she claimed with far too much enjoyment in her voice and no apparent notice for the irony of that statement coming from a woman with an incredibly rare hair color and breasts that had actually inspired several songs and stories (not counting Jiraiya's complete works, which Aiko was relatively sure were all one long love letter to Tsunade's chest and the woman herself to a lesser extent). "Besides, no one would believe a man with white hair and a woman with purple hair had a red-headed child."

"It's silver," he muttered rebelliously.

"Maybe I should color mine too," Aiko added cautiously. "My hair is far lighter than Anko-senpai's or that dye."

Tsunade gave her a lazy once-over, eyes darting between her features and those of her 'parents'. "You'll be fine, brat. We don't need to match exactly. That's almost as suspicious as not being in the same color family. Now shut up." She turned her attention back to the adults in the room. "As I was saying, you three will be posing as a family on vacation. A certain noble client has become concerned that there is an informant in their household, passing compromising information through their hotel and spa."

She rolled her eyes at the thought, adding in a rather scathing tone that, "The family is concerned that their attempt to marry into some other noble family will be sabotaged. A lot of money is on the line here—if this merger happens, our client will be getting a big fat wedding present in the form of a diamond mine." (Anko choked on the bamboo dango skewer hanging out of her mouth, eyes popping out in surprise) Tsunade grinned at the shock on the other two kunoichi's faces, pursing her vividly red lips prettily before she continued "It's your job to make sure that doesn't happen, or that if it does the person who doesn't isn't passing the gossip through the spa. Anko, make sure Hatake unwinds. This mission should be well within the capabilities of a team far less talented than you three, so I expect there to be no screw-ups."

"Hai, Hokage-sama." She shifted her weight to one hip, examining her cohorts. "Would it be acceptable for me to use henge to look a little older, or are we concerned about enemy nin?"

Aiko tried not to show amusement at that thought. 'Kakashi-sensei could pass for my dad in a pinch, (a young, hot dad, just barely old enough to be the father of a 13 year old) but Anko is definitely too young to be my mother. She would have been nine or ten when I was born.' She shuddered.

"Henge will be fine." The Hokage shrugged, shuffling around in her desk. "This is all civilian in-fighting. If they had hired ninja to get that information, those nobles wouldn't know anything was wrong. Any other questions that your mission brief didn't answer?" At the negative answers, she nodded decisively. "Good. Now get the hell out of my office."

As it turned out Kakashi-sensei did not want or need any help with his hair, showing up only half an hour late at the gates with pretty reddish hair that shone like Kankuro's in the sun and a slouched, defensive attitude that suggested a pout was hidden underneath his sky blue scarf. Aiko tried not to cringe while the Chuunin gate guards gave double and triple takes, Izumo gawking with his mouth hanging open at the moment he seemed to figure out who the fit redhead he'd been checking out was. Seeing her teacher out of uniform was strange enough, but Kakashi was wearing an eyepatch. 'I know he has to have his funky red eye closed, but… that looks terrible.'

Unfortunately they had to walk for even the first part of their journey like civilians instead of traveling at ninja speeds and then getting into cover. At least their destination was relatively close within Fire Country.

All three of them were dressed as relatively well-off civilians for the trip, packed lightly with minimal weaponry. The two kunoichi were in yukata. Aiko tried her best not to stare or laugh—it was hard to believe that Anko had actually owned a butter yellow yukata with green and blue butterflies and Lotus blossoms. The fabulously big, extravagant bow on the accompanying pink obi dwarfed her tiny frame. Her own clothing was a little plainer. It was almost entirely a faded purple with pink threading that suggested a vine pattern. In other words, it was suitable for travel, but still girlish enough to make her look like less of a threat.

'Maybe Anko has to wear ridiculously feminine clothing to get the same effect,' she hypothesized, carefully not spending too long looking at the older kunoichi and her carefully henged visage— an incredibly subtle confection that included tiny pore imperfections that suggested the use of makeup to compensate for age.

When they stopped for the night after and she looked at her teacher across the campfire, she'd had enough. "Stand still, tou-san."

Kakashi looked warily at her when she invaded his personal space with a brush. "What the hell are you doing." He stepped back defensively.

Aiko gave her fellow kunoichi exaggerated puppy eyes. "Kaa-san, help me. He can't wear that eye patch. He looks like a reject from an off-Broadway production of Pirates of Penzance." She looked a bit baffled, but Anko eyed up their sole male companion. Other than the eyepatch, he looked good. The role they were playing was a family of relatively new-monied civilians, so he was wearing black slacks and a blue shirt under a thigh-length coat. Some of the very wealthy families wore expensive traditional clothes regularly, but new money was often accompanied by foreign clothing. The role he was playing probably didn't include any rough accidents that would cause the loss of an eye.

"I don't know what the hell the kid said, but she's right. It looks terrible, anata," she drawled. "Be a dear and let her play with your hair."

"Just keep your eye closed." He sighed, but obligingly went limp and read his book with his dark gray eye and kept the other pressed closed when she tugged off his eyepatch and gave it a scathing look before tucking it into the front pocket of his tan coat. Then she wondered why he had to be dressed so warmly. It was only fall. She tried to run her fingers down his scalp and got them caught almost immediately. The feeling of his hair between her fingers set the hair on the back of her neck up- it was so tangled that he couldn't possibly have done anything with it in at least a week. At least it was soft.

'Does he back-comb? How on earth did he dye his hair? Did he just fill the sink with dye and dip his head in? Because this is definitely not hair that has been combed in the last week. Oh god, did no one teach him to comb his hair? He was an orphan at like six, wasn't he?' She attacked his hair with her brush, forcing it to obey gravity and fall over his forehead instead of arcing up, arranging it to cover his Sharingan eye and so that a few strands brushed over the rest of his forehead. It didn't want to obey, but she forced it. He patiently endured her attentions in the long-suffering manner he had adopted after about a year of trying to avoid physical contact when stuck with a little girl who liked to hold hands as a student.

"That's better." Anko pulled out her own dirty yellow book, kicking back on her bedroll. "Come to bed, love." Their team leader groaned. Aiko pouted that she couldn't have brought her own book.

The mission dragged on and on as they walked to the neighboring town where they actually hired a horse-drawn carriage to take them to the spa, (an extravagance that only the ridiculous, pretentious people they were portraying would be able to indulge in) and Aiko couldn't help but pout. She didn't complain aloud, however, because there was really no big reason to be upset. The missed training time could be made up for at home, and the spa itself was lovely. She received her own room with an adjoining door to the love suite where Anko had gigglingly dragged Kakashi with a deceptively delicate, pale hand on the first night and then proceeded to have what appeared to be an amazing time making theatrical noises. (The boy who had carried the luggage Anko had managed to buy upstairs had made an 'icky' face and not returned since).

She knew why they had gotten such a frivolous mission, of course. Posing as a family was the least conspicuous way to go on a vacation, and despite the likelihood that nothing dangerous would happen it was always possible that when nobles and money were involved, so were enemy ninja. The two adults with her were both highly skilled, and Aiko herself was capable enough to hold her own against average opponents. Although it seemed as if it might be a waste of an elite like Kakashi, the mission would also hopefully give him time to stabilize and repair some of the recent trauma. As far as Aiko could tell, Tsunade was the type of person who would take good care of her soldiers—not necessarily because she was soft, but because it was efficient to do so and she saw no use for either stupidity or cruelty.

Really, the woman was scarily perfect to be a military dictator. Assuming one could forgive her for the alcoholism and fits of violent temper, at least.

While undercover and unable to talk shop, avoid each other, or do shinobi type things, Aiko was amused to discover a strangely amiable chemistry between the three of them. Anko's undercover behavior varied the most from her normal actions. She was still a little raucous, but in a much less trigger-happy way and she gleefully recounted the scandalous interactions of their imaginary neighbors (especially that Hashimoto woman down the street who actually did her own gardening, can you imagine?). Aiko was going to have a talk with Anko when they returned to Konoha about her neglected talent as a writer—the woman had a knack for storytelling and a vivid imagination.

On the other hand, Kakashi-sensei's chosen cover wasn't actually that different from his usual behavior, with the exception of his deference to Anko. Though he was nominally in charge of both the mission and in the family they were portraying, Kakashi seemed content to slip into a slightly hen-pecked and affectionately long suffering role, allowing Anko to bully him into stopping at what seemed to be every 'adorable' tea shop in the Fire Country and hinting at a gruff fondness for his 'daughter', but mostly remaining as silent as he usually was, occasionally patting his hip sadly as if reaching reflexively for the book that he had not been able to bring with him now that they were in public.

For her part, Aiko took every opportunity to snuggle up to her sensei, both as part of her cover as a doting daughter delighted to get to spend some time with her slightly distant businessman father and in service of her private belief that her sensei really needed a lot of hugs. Anko leapt into the fray as the parent Aiko must have inherited her touchy qualities from, which meant that Aiko got to bask in hours of hair brushing and really silly braids and amateur geisha hair-dos.

"Mummy," Aiko called, clicking her knuckles against the door to the other two nin's room. At the muffled reply, she pushed the door open and stepped through, trying not to look too enviously at the luxurious suite. Her teacher didn't look up from his position on the bed. He was lying on his back with an Icha Icha book up to his face, reading desperately as if to save up enough happiness to get him through the rest of the book-less day. The older woman walked out of the bathroom still slipping on an earring, face rouged and in a fluffy pink bathrobe dotted with rhinestones at the hems. Aiko tried not to choke with laughter and wildly hoped that Anko would take it home and incorporate it into her wardrobe once this mission was over. The amused look on the other girl's face indicated that she had caught the amusement.

"Oh, I'm sorry darling, I'm running a bit late," Anko pouted, tugging open the folded closet door and extracting a silver and green yukata. "I'll be ready in just a moment." She sailed back into the bathroom and clicked the door behind her. Aiko pressed her lips together and breathed in deeply through her nose, struggling not to let any amusement show. The older kunoichi had really taken to her role as a trophy wife. The role worked for their investigation, however.

She perched on the edge of the bed, being careful not to wrinkle her yukata. When the surface dipped under her weight, one visible gray eye slid to her in what could have been a brief show of despair. Then she blinked and he was focused on his book again as if he'd never stopped. Aiko rolled her eyes and swatted playfully at his hair like a kitten, enjoying the way it bounced back. His hair was like a living thing—it had only taken one day for it to be nearly as tangled as it was when she'd first fixed it. When Anko was finally done primping, the two kunoichi would be taking advantage of their frivolous roles in order to investigate one of the employees that their client was worried about—a woman who, by all accounts, was a fabulous manicurist.

Life was pretty good.

________________________________________

"I haven't been out in the field for months," Inoichi grumbled, keeping an easy pace with his long-time teammates. Despite the long break in Interrogations work, he had worked with the other two men for so long that there was no chance he would forget the rhythm of travel they fell into or slip out of formations they had developed over twenty years ago. "Has it always been so cold outside?"

Choza chuckled. "You're getting out of shape, old man. I didn't know that interrogations work made you so soft. Don't complain." He made an extra large leap, playfully shaking the tree he landed on. The hefty Akimichi Clan Head had also been on the inactive roster for missions like this, due to clan obligations and the never ending politicking of his position, but he was delighted by the change in routine instead of inconvenienced. Shikaku rolled his eyes, wishing his teammates were a little more mature for once. They noticed his poor attitude, slowing down and dropping out of the trees to approach the Daimyo's home on foot. It was considered rude and possibly hostile to sneak up, after all.

"What's your problem, Shikaku? Is something wrong?" Inoichi probed, dusty blue eyes searching for signs. Signs of what, Shikaku didn't know, but he didn't appreciate the scrutiny either.

His long-time teammate scowled half-heartedly. "Don't pry, you miserable old gossip. You know I'd tell you if you could. You'll know soon anyways."

The blonde knew him too well to be put off by the rudeness, merely shrugging. He dropped the subject- classified was classified- and merely protested being referred to as a miserable old gossip. While the two lanky men bickered, Choza explained their presence to the samurai guarding the traditional gates and had a message sent to the Daimyo asking for a reception. He placidly returned and explained to his companions that they would have to wait a while.

When they were finally led in for an audience, the other two clan heads fell in line behind the Nara. He wasn't their team leader, precisely. They were an interesting team in large part because they were all alpha personalities but seamlessly traded places in the chain of command hierarchy to put the most suited man in charge. At the moment, that was Shikaku, who had all the information about this mission and about what Tsunade had hoped to accomplish by sending them here. It was no coincidence that she had sent three clan heads on this mission. Aside from the fact that it was more respectful to the Daimyo, they were each a pointed reminder that Konoha's strength was in its clans, and each man represented at least a hundred shinobi. It wasn't a threat, precisely, but it might make him leery of dismissing the rights of the large clans in favor of three seventy year olds.

The audience itself made Shikaku wish that Tsunade had allowed him to brief his teammates. He knew why she hadn't—it was her intention that the Daimyo would be able to see the visceral reaction of disgust and anger that the news caused in his teammates. Knowing not only how the clans would react to the news and that too many people to be easily silenced knew about the council's murderous misbehavior would probably factor into his decision.

Granted, Tsunade probably also knew the three men well enough that she had planned it this way so that they had burnt off the worst of their anger before they got back to Konoha and didn't irritate her so much as they might have otherwise. Shikaku admired the woman for her unique mix of laziness and pragmatism, in a terrified 'I-would-run-away-from-her-if-only-I-could' sort of way.

Shikaku knew better than to be surprised or disappointed by the non-committal response the Daimyo gave to the information. The man would almost certainly confer with his most trusted advisors, weighing the most politically viable and intelligent options before weighing with anything so petty as his personal opinion or human decency. The news delivered, the three clan heads backed out in bows and left the capital in a rush. Shikaku consciously did not look at his companions, clenching his jaw imperceptibly.

Choza was the one to break the silence. "When did you find this out?"

Shikaku answered the man honestly, explaining that Tsunade had summoned him to her office before he had even made it home from her inauguration.

The large man gave a low whistle, eyes fixed straight ahead at the treetops they were rushing through. "That's sick," he said with finality and a grimace.

On the other side of their triangle formation, Inoichi agreed quietly, thinking of his own family. "It's horrific," he said lowly, rumbling from his chest at an unusually low pitch. Pale lips pressed together unhappily, and then he gave a derisive laugh. "I almost wish it weren't true or that I didn't know. I don't care what Fugaku was up to. What Danzo ordered was monstrous far beyond the pale." He did his level best not to think of the mass funeral that had been held and all the tiny coffins involved. It had been a sight that sent chills down his spine— at the time he had been a full-grown man who had killed dozens of people in his life, and was still shocked wordless at the sight.

"It's obscene," Shikaku agreed curtly. "I want everyone involved or complicit out on their ear."

"But that can't be done without ruining that poor boy's deep cover," Choza worked out in a displeased rumble. "He'd be dead before the day was out if the Hokage made this public knowledge and tossed them out on their wrinkled asses like they should be." The Nara acknowledged his logic with a nod.

Inoichi sniffed imperiously and frowned. "Doesn't mean they can get away with this," he muttered darkly, mind already working on possible solutions.  
________________________________________  
The Fifth Hokage was the strangest human being that Uchiha Sasuke had ever met, and that included his genin sensei. Oh sure, at first glance she seemed relatively normal in comparison to people like Kakashi or his Eternal Rival, but after he had spent a few weeks in her company regularly it became quite clear that she had even less impulse control than Naruto did.

"They probably should have skipped the middleman and made Shizune the Hokage," he muttered to the civilian secretary when he dropped off her coffee. Keiko snorted indelicately, then straightened, mortified by the slip in professionalism, apparently ignorant to the fact that she had been hired precisely because she had no chance of outfoxing any of her shinobi coworkers. "She can't hear," he reassured quietly, trying not to smirk. Tsunade had fired every office worker in the tower to start over with an entirely new staff that she vetted personally, so they were all still a bit jumpy and mildly concerned that another round of firing was on its way.

Personally, Sasuke approved of Tsunade's apparent paranoia. For the moment the personnel switch was causing a lot of extra work—no one really knew the nuances of the old system—but it would be worth it to ensure information security. Once the old employees had made it through her security system, they would all be offered new employment in other office buildings, so he didn't feel particularly sorry for them. One man who had sold information had already been ferreted out by the interrogators and was cooling his heels in prison, so obviously the paranoia had been justified.

Besides, picking up slack in things like getting drinks for the three women who were habitually in the office (the secretary, Tsunade, and Shizune) didn't bother Sasuke. He left for lunch every day anyways, so it wasn't much of a hassle.

His apprenticeship was rather eclectic. He still did his physical conditioning and speed training with Aiko (and now Karin) in the early mornings, but Shizune had taken it upon herself to teach him to use her two favored weapons, senbon and a sword. He did chakra control exercises and assigned reading (both medical and political, to his displeasure) on his own, but his actual mentor did step up at least once daily in order to beat the hell out of him in a taijutsu spar (one of the few excuses Shizune would accept for taking a break from paperwork and boring meetings) or watch him demonstrate the next stage of the medical techniques she was having him work through. He wasn't overly pleased about learning medical jutsu, but they were necessary precursors to Tsunade's unique fighting style—near invulnerability, the ability to store enormous amounts of chakra, and the strength to break through any defense sounded pretty damn good to him.

Unfortunately, there was also a lot of busywork involved. Since his security clearance had been upped, he was now available to go through all sorts of records that needed to be updated. After the disastrous Chuunin Exams that had done massive structural damage and taken a big chunk out of their active reserves, the Jounin who would normally do that sort of thing were spending more time in the field. Even three man genin teams had been broken up into groups of two for D-class missions, a bullet he had barely dodged by dint of his new assignment. He still wasn't sure if he had been lucky or gotten screwed.

After he gave Shizune her coffee (flavoured generously with chocolate) and braved Tsunade's office to ungraciously hand off her tea (giving her attitude was almost as satisfying as poking Naruto into exploding), Sasuke slouched off to his own work space and gave the paperwork on his desk a morose stare. He wouldn't have to do most of the work himself, of course, but he did have to figure out where it needed to go and occasionally compile reports so that the Hokage didn't have to read everything herself to get the important information.

One such project occupied that afternoon—the bureaucratic mess of making sure their records for the statuses of all their active duty nin was updated after Orochimaru's failed invasion. Sasuke silently cursed the man to hell while he painstakingly picked through missing persons reports, autopsies, promotions, and hospital reports of career changing or ending injuries. When he was all done, he scanned through the lists of inactive ninja (very short, considering that they had almost all been called to active duty), active genin, Chuunin, Tobeketsu Jounin, and full Jounin, and then ended it off with finalizing the lists of fatalities and forcibly retired ninja. Then he frowned.

"Something's not right," he muttered to himself, leafing through the missing persons reports and comparing them to the autopsies. Three genin were completely missing— They hadn't been reported as missing, injured, or dead, but they also hadn't been relisted on the active duty roster when they should have reported in. A shinobi village thrived on information and noting details, so it seemed unlikely that no one would have noticed the oddity in the month since the incident. It wasn't as though no one knew the three genin— one of them was the hospital director's son. Yet somehow none of them had been reported as missing or killed in action.

"Where's their sensei," he hmmed, pulling out the appropriate file. 'One person not being noted missing is a strange incident. Three… either criminal levels of incompetency or conspiracy.' Even if absolutely no one else knew they were missing, their sensei should have noted. When he found the appropriate file, Sasuke frowned. "Well, shit," he said with finality, irritably piling the relevant papers up to stalk to Tsunade's office. He rapped on the door and pushed it open without waiting for an answer.  
The woman inside hurriedly pushed something off of her desk and pinned him with a sneer, amber eyes narrowed at his audacity.

"Put me in my place later," he grumped, handing over the folder. "I found something strange. An entire genin team that was completely unaccounted for but somehow not listed as missing. I wondered why their sensei didn't report the disappearances if nothing else. Turns out that their genin sensei was found dead in his home after the exam. By all accounts, he'd been dead for months." He raised an eyebrow. "You would think that they would have noticed that."

Tsunade groaned, running a hand through her hair and staring blearily at the papers he had handed her. "Why don't you people ever have any good news," she groused, glaring at the papers accusingly. "It's never 'we have record numbers of enrollment' or 'the peasants want another holiday in your honor.' Nooo, all you people ever tell me is what's wrong." She sighed heavily, dropping the papers and making a grab for her stash of hard candy, Shizune's most recent attempt to wean her off the hard liquor during business hours. She popped an orange candy in her mouth and sucked on it, clearly thinking. "The obvious explanation is that those three are traitors and they jumped ship," she eventually conceded, frowning darkly, "though that wouldn't explain why no one reported them missing." The woman groaned again, letting her head fall back on her chair.

"Someone covered it up for them to give them time to get out," Sasuke surmised easily. "Or covered up the kidnappings, if that's what happened to them. The Sound did make attempts on bloodline users that would have been easy targets—hospitalized genin and Chuunin, generally teenagers. Those three are on the older scale, but still within the age range we know was targeted."

"Did any of the three have bloodlines?" Tsunade frowned, gesturing for him to pass over their personnel reports. He easily acquiesced. The blonde frowned, resting her elbows on the table and scanning the papers. Sasuke tried not to stare too obviously at the way her shirt fell open at the movement. That was, like, half a foot of cleavage. It was mesmerizing. 'Is it a genjutsu?' he wondered seriously, eyes flicking between her face and the hemline of her shirt. Luckily, he was looking up when the women cursed like a sailor and threw the papers in a fit of temper. "Two of them were from minor bloodlines," she exhaled. "Orochimaru always did like playing around with genetics."

Sasuke frowned. "But he's dead," he said abruptly and a little viciously.

"I know that," his mentor snapped irritably. "The kidnapping idea is unlikely, unless we are also assuming that the combined intelligence of those three is low enough that they would fail to notice their teacher was dead for a month. Orochimaru probably promised them something, a place in his stupid Sound village most likely, in exchange for intelligence." She hissed a long breath out between pursed lips, staring off into space in a way that implied her mind was elsewhere. "Which means we need to figure out what they had access to and probably work on updating codes and procedures under the assumption that Sound possesses them."

When she gestured, Sasuke obediently propped open the door so she could yell to the secretary to clear her schedule for the next hour, and then whistled for one of her ANBU guards and promptly demoted him to fetching the head of intelligence. Sasuke watched, nonplussed. When she finally noticed him again, the woman huffed. "Good job, gaki. Don't you have work to do?" She gave a start at something remembered, and then a wicked grin. "Actually, I think you're ready to move on to human autopsies. Why don't you join the group with Homura Mito in…" she tilted her head to see the clock on the wall between the bookshelves. "half an hour. I think I remember signing off on the paperwork for supervised analysis of a Mist nuke-nin today. Try not to get sick."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and sauntered out, passing a rather flustered Shizune who was arguing on the phone with someone who was apparently far too important to have their appointment pushed back.  
________________________________________

"This bites," Ino groused, delicately hefting plywood over her shoulder (a bizarre accomplishment) and grimacing at the potential for splinters. Her partner for the day rushed back and forth from the construction site and the lumber piles with far too much energy to be entirely appropriate. "Lee, just watching you is making me tired."

Tenten gave an amused laugh through the nails held in her teeth, hammering away at the joint her partner was holding in place. Neji grimaced slightly in a way that implied he could commiserate, but he didn't comment verbally.

Granted, she had not been foolish enough to believe that repairing damaged infrastructure would be glamorous (the village wide D-class assigned to all genin while their instructors rushed to fill border rosters and take high-paying missions and academy students picked up the slack on other menial missions). But the stupid reconstruction missions seemed to be never ending.

"We should all just get certified as architects once we're done here," Tenten joked once her mouth was empty of metal pieces, wiping at her sweaty forehead with the back of her hand. She didn't mind hard work, but she was a little bummed that the two boys who had been promoted in the exam were younger than she was. The Aburame and the Nara boys had both left for border patrol, which she only happened to know because they had left with Gai-sensei, who would be the senior nin at the outpost.

"That is an excellent suggestion, Tenten-san," Lee huffed cheerily, grabbing the end of the wood he was carrying and whipping it around his body, letting go at the perfect time so that it soared directly to Neji, who snatched it right out of the air and used it to prop up the sagging roof. Then he bounded up the side of the nearly-finished porch and landed neatly on the roof, beaming down at his partner. "Ino-san! If we cannot finish tiling this roof before Neji-san repairs the porch, we should do one hundred laps around the lake!"

The Yamanaka dropped the last armful of wood as if it burned her and let it clatter to the grass, already on the roof and yanking the hammer out of Lee's fist. "No way, eyebrows!" He immediately fell to his knees beside her and began laying tiles out in rows, scooting sideways just a little faster than she could hammer them in place.

Neji rolled silver eyes at his kunoichi teammate, hammering at his own task a little faster but making no comment. Tenten sighed fondly, fluffing out her bangs and gamely propping up the triangular brace that was going to scallop the edges of the porch. When he paused in his rhythmic hammering for a moment before picking up the pace angrily, Tenten curiously looked around for what had bothered him. All she could see was that the team working on a house across the street (an Akimichi and the Inuzuka from the last Chuunin exam) had been joined by a redhead and his shy little cousin. Tenten eyed the girls pensively, wondering why Neji even cared. He had always seemed to dislike the brunette, and she had never even met the redheaded girl in the purple dress before. Then she noted a slight oddity, with the laser-like precision of Academy-trained nosiness and anal-retentive attention to detail.

'Didn't Hinata-san used to wear her forehead protector around her neck?' Tenten shrugged. She'd remembered because it had seemed rather unusual. 'It looks good on her forehead,' the older girl noted. 'She looks more serious.'

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Edited 1/20/14. For some reason, I had apparently skipped an entire year and made Aiko 14 when she should have been 13. If I missed one of those errors, I apologize.


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

Strangely enough, I only ended up getting two sections done, but I'm posting since the word count is still okay and I haven't posted in a while. I'll get back to the other plot elements, don't worry. I've just been very busy- moving, the GRE, work, having someone steal all my money...  
________________________________________

When the waitress came around, Jiraiya put in his order without a hint of flirtation. When his companion said nothing and the girl skittered a little uncomfortably, fluffy pen held to her heart-shaped pad of pink paper, Jiraiya rolled his eyes and looked up at the man across the table for the first time. "Are you going to order anything?"

Black eyes slid over to the girl, but his expression didn't change as if he really saw her or the way she was blushing. "No."  
"Suit yourself," Jiraiya sighed, waving the girl off and slouching. Somehow he still managed to emit an aura of formidability. It wasn't necessary. No one was close enough to overhear and Itachi would sense any usage of chakra.

"The Lady Tsunade has returned to Konoha," he uttered tonelessly, staring off into space. It was an inauspicious start to an information exchange. Then again, Uchiha had never been known for polished conversational abilities. Odds as to whether he was socially impaired or actually just reticent were about fifty-fifty.

Regardless of the motivation, Jiraiya knew the teenager well enough to realize he was both asking for confirmation and dancing around something else. "Yes," he said shortly, glaring a little bit at the reminder. "To fix your mess, and to become Hokage. I'm surprised you haven't heard about that part yet at least."

Itachi narrowed his eyes, unused to that kind of vehemence from the man. "You are angry," he stated. It was a habit of his that drove others to near-fits of irritation, but was often effective at gathering information without giving the other conversationalist the psychological upper hand of being asked a question.

Jiraiya felt a muscle twitch in his jaw, despite being familiar with mental and verbal games of all sorts. 'I hate conversations with this brat,' he grumped internally. 'He doesn't give me many cues to work off. If we are here to exchange information we should just be straight forward.' 

Despite his near blindness, he knew that the younger man somehow sensed his irritation. The sage heaved an irritated sigh, casting a longing glance in the direction of the kitchen. "You put my goddaughter in the hospital," he said shortly in a way that implied that part of the conversation was over. He knew that the boy had to maintain his cover and that included attacking leaf nin, but there were dozens of ways he could have stopped the girl from interfering without causing that kind of damage. Then his gaze sharpened when he noted something unusual. Confused, Jiraiya registered that some brief emotion had crossed the boy's face, which was unusual to say the least. He had no idea what it was, but he had almost certainly surprised the teen. "But you didn't know that," he said slowly, trying to pry out what it was that had elicited a visible reaction. 'That didn't do it.' He consciously did not frown, but he was dissatisfied with the lack of results.

The teen had somehow gone even stiller, obviously recognizing that he had given away some sort of clue. 'He had to have known that she would have been hospitalized after a genjutsu like that,' Jiraiya reasoned. 'Is he surprised at the implication that she survived? No. If he'd wanted her dead she would be. It is the fact that I know her that surprised him? But why would he even care about a Leaf Chuunin? It would have been more like him to ignore her and continue to his objective. He's never liked extra casualties.' Something uneasy roiled in his gut. He trusted the boy on some levels, but the implication that there was some reason for S-class nin to care about his goddaughter was unsettling. Monsters like that shouldn't even know she existed yet. With parents like that it would be surprising if she didn't reach that level one day, but that day was not today.

"Enough of this," the nukenin demurred, pulling out a short scroll. Jiraiya took it numbly, knowing that the report on Akatsuki was doubtlessly important even if it didn't seem that way right now. 'I must be imagining things,' he tried to convince himself. Jiraiya was normally an excellent liar, but it didn't seem to be working as the teen across the table nodded his head farewell and strode off, still henged into less conspicuous clothing and facial features.

A disturbing thought occurred. 'Was it really an accident that Aiko was the first person Itachi and Hoshigaki ran into in Konoha?' The large man shifted in his seat, barely noticing the sounds of laughter from a distant table. He had initially assumed so. Then again, a ninja didn't live to be his age without examining strange occurrences closely.

And an S-class nin who had been out of the village for seven years just happening to display even the slightest hint of interest in his former student's child positively stank of something suspicious. 'Aiko, what have you been up to?'

When it came, the food tasted like ashes. That might have been his perception or the fact that he was at a total dive. So he dropped a gold coin on the table and headed back to the hotel where he had left his charge sleeping a few hours sooner than planned. The boy would no doubt scream about perverts if he knew that the sannin had poked his head in the room where the child slept, but the reassurance made him feel marginally better. Jiraiya cradled his head in his hands, white hair a riotous mess around his face, and sighed. 'I knew that the boy was in serious trouble,' he thought wearily. 'But I never considered that his sister might be in direct danger. Sure, she could be used against him, but that's a mess to consider when they finally get serious about hunting Naruto and realize that he's too powerful to take easily. Maybe I should find out why exactly an S-class criminal (even if he isn't one, strictly speaking) has interest in a 13 year old. Perhaps I could accept it as keeping an eye on a potential future problem if someone had figured out that she was Minato's child, but if Itachi had known that he would have already suspected I had a connection to the child.'

Itachi was equally discomfited by the brief exchange, reflecting on it even when he met back up with his partner to travel to their next mission. He had considered bringing up his strange encounter to Jiraiya to prod for information. It had never occurred to him that the toad sage would bring up the girl. The revelation that she was his goddaughter was a little shocking, and he had instantly known that the sage would not give him any useful information on the girl. Prying further would have only put the man on guard and revealed that he had a strong reason to be curious about someone he had encountered completely on accident. If he truly could find no other way to investigate whatever was going on, he would try again later.

'Unsettling.' Hoshigaki Kisame edged slightly further from his partner, sensing the boy was irritated even without any visible cues. After working together for years, he was well attuned to his partner's tells.

Itachi couldn't bring himself to care about what the nukenin thought, face pressed into an incredibly mild frown. 'I do not like hints that I have missed a possible factor.'

It wasn't the only news that had taken him by surprise, a feeling he definitely did not like. At least discovering that his otouto had been taken under the wing of the Hokage herself had been reassuring, though unexpected considering the long-standing enmity between their clans.

If he had been anyone else, Itachi might have snorted with morbid amusement when he caught himself thinking that. 'With one Senju and one Uchiha in Konoha, would it not be more unlikely if the feud continued?'

Regardless of old grudges, the Senju woman would likely be able to guide Sasuke and help him gain the strength to stay safe from monsters like Madara. He might need more motivation if he seemed to be growing complacent. The 19 year old did his best to turn away from that unpleasant thought, but once it had occurred he couldn't stop wondering if his brother's drive to get stronger had faded in the years since he had seen Sasuke. If it had…

________________________________________

Glossy, perfect nails caught the sunlight from the windows and refracted sparkles from blue glitter polish onto the wall when Aiko pulled open the door to wait on the deck for her two partners. She had been guarding their belongings while the older two did reconnaissance.

Cool wind tugged at her hair, carrying with it the scent of dying flowers. She frowned slightly and tried to gather up the tangles with her fingers, irritated with how long her hair had gotten again when she wasn't paying attention. "Time for a haircut," she sighed, a little surprised that she could actually see strands of blonde hair in her peripheral. The summer sun had bleached out almost all of the red that had seemed so prominent, leaving her much closer to looking like Naruto's relative than Karin's. Just a short year ago, she had been dead in between color-wise.

She blew air out, letting her lips purse with irritation and leaned back into the cool stone wall. For more than one reason (like the lack of sound and the wall immediately behind her), she was startled to feel warm breath on her ear. Aiko shrieked and wheeled around, backing up to see Anko's grinning face hanging out of the open window and her Kakashi slouching by the door, looking hangdog as usual.

She scowled and stuck her tongue out at Anko, curling into her sensei's side and wrapping her arms around him. "She's mean to me," she pouted.

"Don't be like that," Anko drawled, hopping out the open window and joining the other two on the porch. "Well, do you want to tell her the good news or should I?"

She felt her teacher take a deep breath and set his hands on her shoulders, gently prying the teenager off his front. Aiko blinked up at him, awkwardly splitting her attention between his one uncovered eye and the leaf sigil covering the other one. "Well, we're pretty much done with this cover," he announced, pushing his hands into his pockets and slouching slightly.  
Surprised, Aiko furrowed her brows. "I thought the guy we caught said the information broker was going to be coming by soon," she objected mildly.

"He is," Kakashi agreed easily. "In fact, he is in town now, in this very hotel."

"Makes sense," she breathed, already cataloguing the few weapons on her person and checking that her chakra reserves were full.

Her teacher held up a hand lazily. "Maa, not so fast," he drawled. "Our client owns this hotel, remember? It would be foolish to engage him here and risk property damage. We will be following our guy out of town. That means we're done resting. We can't afford to sleep until the target makes a move. I don't anticipate that he will be leaving until dark, however. Get packed."

"Yes, sir," she reflexively breathed, pushing past Anko and into her adjoining room, making quick work of the little she had to gather. Most of it had already been folded into a storage seal (a ridiculously frivolous use of a ninja skill, but she could at least justify it as practice). With deft movements, she slipped into more practical footwear, trying not to think too hard about how the knee-high boots must look with the short orange and pink yukata she had been wearing and ripping a line down the side of the material to give easier access to the thigh holster she snapped into place, finishing off by buckling her black hip pouch over the dress and sliding it to rest on the back of her right hip.

By the time she had joined the other two, their rooms looked as though they could have been vacant for weeks. She slipped through and stood at Anko's side. "Ready?" Anko asked, looking down. When she nodded in reply, the older girl gave a sharp grin and nodded. "Right then." She raised her right hand up in a two-fingered seal. "Release!" With a tiny puff, the purple-haired woman disappeared altogether.

Mildly surprised, Aiko raised an eyebrow at her sensei but knew better than to ask for an explanation. The bunshin had probably been meant to signal Anko that backup was on the way. Now that she thought about it, it would have been stupid for them to leave the target alone after they finally found him. Kakashi sighed, flipping his hip pouch shut and straightening. Then he took off, just barely slow enough for her to follow. The speed hardly surprised her anymore, not after four years of being his student. Every time it seemed that she had gotten close to matching his insane speed, he somehow managed to surprise her and make it look easy.

She wasn't surprised to discover that her sensei had been right about when the broker would choose to make a move while Anko tailed him and the other two hung back, ready to provide support but minimizing chances that the broker would sense them. They waited at the far range of Anko's sensing range- close enough that a panicked signal would have them at her side within seconds, but far enough away to speak quietly. Aiko sighed lightly, leaning into her teacher's side. The familiarity was soothing. He glanced down and then his gaze was directed upwards again, at the rooftops and tree line.

"I'm glad Tsunade-sama gave us this mission, sensei. I didn't like it when you went away after the… after Sakura," she breathed quietly. He moved a little uncomfortably. "I… I think that was hard on the boys too." He awkwardly patted her on the head, giving one of the stupidly fake eye smiles. "Don't do that," she snapped, instantly irritated. "You're not really happy, so don't pretend. It's fine to be mad and sad."

"Aa, Aiko-chan," he mumbled, gently knocking the side of her head with his hand and gazing upwards wistfully. "If you insist. I'm not particularly good with those conversations."

The girl huffed, stepping backwards playfully to evade his hand mussing her loose hair. "Whatever you say, old man."

She was a little surprised when instead of a reply, her teacher's eye flashed toward her an instant before a presence materialized right behind her and pulled a forearm across her neck, dragging her backwards into a female chest. "Don't move," a voice hissed directly in her ear. Ignoring that altogether, Aiko went limp and slipped downward just enough for Kakashi to flash-step directly in front of her with a thunderous expression and his large hand wrapped entirely around the woman's neck with what must have been painful force.

He leaned in painfully close, his chin nearly brushing the top of Aiko's head. "I would advise that you let go. Now." The dark eye narrowed dangerously seemed to pierce a hole directly into the surprised woman behind her, who Aiko could see out her peripheral mostly as a porcelain pale chin and a riotous mass of cotton candy blue curls, decorated with black ribbons and glittering clear beads.

A low chuckle filled the air. "Listen to papa bear, Naomi," another woman crooned. Aiko was immediately released and swiveled out of the way.

"Apologies, Mayumi." The strange kunoichi stepped backwards as soon as Kakashi let go, rubbing at her neck idly and focusing all her attention on the tanned, dark-haired woman who had materialized. She was accompanied by a bear of a man with silky brown hair that fell to his shoulders. All three of them were wearing Rock forehead sigils. The two standing together were wearing what appeared to be some variation of a Jounin uniform in dark grays with green detailing. The blue-haired woman was younger—perhaps a teen, and clad in plain black pants and long-sleeved shirt covered in a virtual armory of arm and leg holsters and criss-crossing belts.

The woman who had grabbed Aiko gave a sigh—Naomi?— and leaned back, blinking indolently at the two Konoha nin in between the Rock shinobi.

"Please, forgive my kohai," the second woman purred and slipped one scarred hand into a pouch at her hips. "She got a little jumpy. I think that we have ended up on the trail of the same person, a high level missing nin from our village. We have documentation to prove it." She held it out to Kakashi with a faintly challenging expression.

Briskly, Kakashi examined the sheaf of folded papers she held out, pulsing chakra through it to activate the little watermark that proved the carriers were conducting official business. "Your papers are legitimate, but that doesn't allow you to be in Fire Country unsupervised," he pointed out mildly. The tall man sneered silently, but didn't say anything when the woman at his side stepped forward with a cold and false conciliatory smile.

"I apologize for the inconvenience, but he meant to shake us by crossing the border. It was hard for my team and I to imagine returning home when he would likely duck back over the border within a day. Perhaps your team could accompany us? You can take command, of course."

Aiko scowled a little, but said nothing as her teacher agreed, tossing her a look that she knew was meant as a warning to be careful. They couldn't leave the group alone, and if they were really right about the target being an A class missing ninja, there was no point in denying the group and inevitably end up fighting them to get to the target. As long as he was killed or apprehended, their job was done anyway. Strange that such a high class ninja would find himself buying and selling information, but that was a dangerous job after all.

That was when all five shinobi straightened, looking up an instant before Anko materialized out of a cloud of dark particles. She raised an eyebrow at the group. "Kakashi?"

"Report," Kakashi said briskly, not looking at the three foreign nin.

She shrugged. "Target is moving west, fast."

He gave a heavy sigh, glancing between the other five shinobi. "Aiko, take the rear. I want a four hundred foot following distance. Anko, take point with Mayumi-san here. I will take the center line with Naomi-san and grumpy-san here."  
Naomi snorted. "You mean Jun?"

He shrugged artlessly. Jun glared at the other man, taking the furthest right position and ignoring the laughs from the front of the formation. Then they took off, following Anko's directions. Aiko tried not to pout, a bit irritated about being babied. She knew damn well why she had the rear—it was likely to be the safest position and Kakashi didn't trust the Rock team at all. That didn't mean she was particularly happy about the implication that he didn't trust her in a fight around an elite opponent.  
It became clear that their target knew he was being pursued when they picked up the pace, rushing brutally. Aiko couldn't help but grin at the chase, wishing it was just her and her sensei and the dog pack. She had missed those sorts of missions. Training was all well and good, but escort missions and dealing with administrative work lacked the thrill of the hunt.

Hopefully, now that the genin had found new sensei, things could go back to the way they had been before.

The group burst into a clearing and immediately knew that their target had chosen to make his stand there. It was the first time Aiko had seen him. He wasn't particularly impressive looking, but then again neither was her sensei when he didn't want to be. The man was slim, clad in gray pants and a high collared red top, with a short black ponytail and bangs that hid his eyes from view.

He was also a sword specialist from what she saw as he pulled a thin, flat blade out from a hidden sheathe on his back under his top, making a swipe at Anko that the first rock kunoichi parried with her bare hands and a feral grin that made Mayumi's innocuous features somehow sinister. The man huffed. "I should be flattered, getting two full teams to hunt me down!" Anko had slipped around Mayumi, spitting a spray of poisoned senbon that ricocheted off his hardened skin with a tinkle like glass (goddamn rock-nin, Aiko thought absently, I hate that rock skin jutsu), though tiny punctures poked through his collar. As Mayumi swiped her right foot into the man's instep to destabilize him, Jun roared forward like a battering ram—and nearly ran full tilt into a tree when the target dropped down through the earth like a gopher.

Naomi whipped through hands seals—Aiko couldn't see them, but the muscles in her back were moving slightly, as were her elbows—and gave a violent stomp that opened up a crevice, out of which the target came flying, sword readied to open up her gut.

It might have been a killing blow, if Kakashi hadn't almost lazily intercepted the man, knocking the blade sideways with one hand and slipping the other under to hit the man with a spray of electricity. It was nothing on his Chidori, of course, but he convulsively bent over and missed his chance to prevent Naomi from ripping the sword out of his grasp and flinging it to the side.

That was about when Aiko was distracted by the fact that there were two unknown chakra signatures coming in hot from behind them. Her mouth was open and the words "friends of yours, Naomi-san" were on her lips when she felt the kunai whizzing towards her head and reflexively used the replacement jutsu with the closest bit of flotsam. That turned out to have been a broken branch behind her that positioned her in between the two new opponents. She barely swiveled in time to duck under the swinging blow from someone of indeterminate gender and age behind a mask and in one of those godawful pajama-like ninja outfits that old people like the Third Hokage preferred. In the seconds that followed, her rote taijutsu and the fact that these two new opponents were probably only B-class at best saved her life while the other rushed to accommodate the increase in opponents and break off into matches.

'Might not be a bad time to try those chakra chains,' she reasoned when she was joined by Mayumi, which left Kakashi and Naomi with their original target and Anko and Jun swinging back to intercept the third. She had never actually tried it in combat before, and this was about as low-pressure an environment as she was likely to get to experiment in—on the '2' side of a '2 to 1' fight. Karin had hypothesized that the adrenaline rush of a real fight might make it easier to use the ability for the first time and she could work backwards from there to replicate the adrenaline-fueled feat. The worst that would happen was she failed completely and let Mayumi cover her for a second.

That decided, Aiko grimaced with effort and leapt back, heels skidding in the dirt and furrowed her brow in concentration. The next second seemed to be in slow motion—the opponent seemed to glance between the two kunoichi, decide Mayumi was the immediate threat and swivel towards her at the same time that Aiko breathed deeply and visualized the excess energy escaping her back as a mass of chains.

Consciously, she didn't expect it to work. So she was just about as surprised as everyone else by the unearthly glow of the icy blue chakra that rocketed out of her body—and it was exhilarating! She felt so powerful, and it suddenly made so much fucking sense that Kushina could have done this on her death bed—and honed in on her opponent with pinpoint precision even as the shinobi attempted a dodge, wrapping around a struggling body in the blink of an eye with clanks and monster truck force and ripped the poor fucker to lumpy pieces that exploded outside of the chains.

Everything stopped for a full second, which was an ungodly long time in a shinobi battle. Aiko was relatively sure someone was gaping at her but she didn't turn to see, too fascinated by the disintegration of the chains she had materialized. She moved them experimentally, flinging a little bit of brain matter and making Mayumi flinch backwards.

"Uh, oops. May have underestimated my strength," she blurted, voice turning thoughtful halfway through. That had been interesting. It had been an enormous amount of chakra, however, and she didn't feel the least bit drained. Actually, it was a bit invigorating. How odd.

Lost in her analysis of her new power, she barely turned in time to catch her sensei ram a fist wreathed in solid lightning through the original target and the third opponent fail to move out of a glob of fire that Anko spat. The pause in motion lost him his head—Jun crossed twin daggers the length of her forearm in an X shape that popped it cleanly off like the eraser off a mechanical pencil. He didn't even try to dodge the resultant blood spray, turning his face up to catch it like Ino liked to do with a spring shower.

"Eww," Aiko breathed, a little grossed out.

Someone scoffed. "Like you're one to talk! What the hell was that, short stuff?" Naomi stuck her tongue out, scrunching up her face in disgust. "That was so weird!"

Aiko gave a giddy little giggle, still high on adrenaline and trying not to look directly at the mess she had just made. "Uzumaki chakra chains, apparently," she supplied a little absentmindedly. "Never worked quite like that before…"

'Never worked at all before,' a voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like Karin snarked. She ignored that in favor of the strange expression that cross Mayumi's face. "Uzu.. Uzumaki?" she asked quietly, as if to herself, looking Aiko up and down. Then she shook her head. "Well, good thing we met up. That would have taken longer three on three." She wiped her hands off on her thighs, walking over to the original target and using her toe to push him over. "You don't mind, do you?" She sounded perfectly nonchalant, but she was visibly uncomfortable around the Konoha nin who had apparently proven to be more intimidating than she had expected. Solid chakra constructs were the hardest kind, and two of them had whipped a technique like that out. Aiko tried not to smirk.

"Of course not," Kakashi said gracefully, stepping away and slouching harmlessly again. "Come along, ladies." Anko scowled at being called a lady but obligingly joined them. The three Konoha shinobi crouched in unison, and flash-stepped away towards Konoha, leaving the Rock-nin to deal with the body. It wouldn't do to stick around and get accused of trying to glean information from the corpse after all.

In a blood-soaked clearing, Jun scowled at the direction the Konoha shinobi had left in. "An Uzumaki?" he asked, tone caught between disbelief and disgust. "I thought those fuckers were long gone. Are we really going to let them go?"

Naoki frowned, looking between her older comrades. "I don't understand. Do you know her family?"

Mayumi gave a barking laugh void of amusement and shook her head. "Sometimes I forget you're just a baby, Naoki-chan." She ignored the resultant scowl. "Seal masters from the long-defunct Whirlpool village, but they've always been closely tied to those Konoha dogs." She spat on the ground and sneered in the direction of said village. "They had one about fifteen years back with that same ability when I was a brand-new genin shoved out onto the frontlines as fodder. She was a fucking monster. Never knew what happened to her. Red chained death, I think she was."

"Well, those weren't red," Jun said a bit dryly, bending to tug off the forehead protector as proof of the kill and giving the corpse a vicious kick. He hated tracking, and this stupid fuck had dragged them halfway across the country. "But I think I know what happened to her." He snickered. "She spawned and retired."

"Uzu.." Naomi's face crumpled up. With the foreigners gone, she had abandoned her attempts at stoicism. "Wasn't that the village that developed the bijuu sealing shit? With the special clan that were optimal containers?"

Mayumi's mouth moved for a moment, but she didn't say a thing. Then she gave a slow, horrible smile. "You know, that gives me an idea. What kind of profit do you think we could make off of a perfect vessel like that? Or even if no one wants to use her, I'm sure that Cloud, at least, would be very interested in making sure that career ends early. Mummy dearest didn't make a lot of friends."

Jun scoffed. "She's too old to forget her loyalty to Konoha and be controlled."

"Never too old to forget," Mayumi countered. "What, you think Konoha and those blonde bastards have the monopoly on interfering with minds? There's always a way. Any even if it doesn't work out and she ends up dead, there'll be no Red Chained Death 2.0".  
________________________________________  
Edited 1/20/14. For some reason, I had apparently skipped an entire year and made Aiko 14 when she should have been 13. If I missed one of those errors, I apologize.


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

"God fucking damnit shit!" Misumi screamed, ripping off the black cloth that had covered his face and irritably ruffling his short, dark hair. At Yoroi's chuckle, he veered around, fist swinging, ready to dislocate his bones into the soft physique style and strangle his teammate.

The taller man dodged with ease, and taunted "Get a grip, would you princess?"

Misumi's eyes narrowed. "Oh, fuck off," he spat before giving his teammates a condescending look. "Everything's gone to shit and you're making jokes? This is serious. What the hell are we supposed to do with Orochimaru dead, huh?" He shoved Yoroi.  
The quiet sound of a throat clearing interrupted him. "Don't be so rude, Misumi-kun," Kabuto chided calmly, expression placid and body relaxed. "We're almost to Sound."

The shortest man present snorted. "There is no goddamn Sound. I betrayed Konoha for nothing. So much for everything Orochimaru promised us." Panic made his features ugly. "I guess I could see if anyone is willing to pay for your stupid hides," he jeered.

Kabuto gave a light sigh and Yoroi's lips quirked into a faint smile, moving away from the two.

Some long-disused alarm in Misumi's head started ringing, and he glared suspiciously at his teammates. He'd never liked them anyways. Getting stuck with a stupid medic and some jackass who stole chakra had been a criminal waste of his frontline taijutsu abilities. Orochimaru had promised him so much more than that when the skinny medic in front of him had recruited Misumi from the dregs of the genin corps. What the hell was he going to do now? They had been forced to flee Konoha after the invasion, knowing that their cover would have been broken soon even if no one had yet reported seeing Konoha genin fighting with Sound and Sand.

"Oh, Misumi-kun," Kabuto shook his head pityingly. "Have you no imagination? I was Orochimaru's second in command. We're going to Sound to take over operations. I already sent the Sound five out on a mission. Now that they answer to me, everyone will."

Misumi scowled, both at the overly familiar address and the idea that his scrawny medic teammate had what it took to lead a village. He opened his mouth to tell off the silver-haired idiot—and found himself surprised at how quickly Kabuto had moved to be directly in front of him, bending slightly to stare into his eyes. Misumi couldn't gauge what the other man was thinking, as the sunlight had caught Kabuto's glasses and was obscuring his eyes. Unnerved, he raised a hand to push Kabuto away.  
Kabuto caught the movement with a painfully strong grip around Misumi's wrist that moved the bones in his joint around uncomfortably. "I'm afraid that I didn't mean you," he crooned. "Sound has little use for cowards." Then Misumi knew no more.

Kabuto sighed and used earth techniques to sink the freshly made corpse into the ground. Normally he might have sealed away the body for use later, but he didn't have the materials with him. "What a waste," he sighed. He'd invested hours into Misumi's genetic modifications, and now that was all lost. He huffed a quiet laugh, and continued on with his remaining teammate following silently, wondering if this was what Orochimaru had felt like when the seal he'd placed on the Uchiha had never really taken root. It was frustrating to see all that work wasted. No wonder the man had experienced a fit of temper when he sensed the reinforcements coming in. He would have known immediately that Anko would know to suppress the seal before it had a chance to take hold. Perhaps given later action the situation would have been salvageable, but now that Orochimaru had passed and the seal couldn't feed off his chakra, Sasuke-kun's seal was probably just a tattoo.

It was actually more surprising that Orochimaru hadn't killed Sasuke-kun's other teammate out of spite. The original plan had called for leaving one of them alive to protect the Uchiha while the seal seared into his flesh and chakra, but once it had become obvious that Anko and her ANBU team (and therefore plenty of others) knew he was in the forest that the boy would never be allowed to wait out the test.

His takeover of Sound went as smoothly as he had predicted. Kabuto had proven himself by beating the Sound Five, and ninja trained in Sound learned to reluctantly bend their necks to larger predators. He expected plenty of attempts on his life, of course, but that was par for the course.

Really, the biggest problem was figuring out his next course of action. Kabuto sighed, assigning Yoroi as his bodyguard (he didn't need it, but it was better to keep one of his more reliable tools at hand) and taking stock of the medical bay. Tayuya had been more than a little bit upset about being sent on an errand to re-supply the human material for his experiments, but the indignity was necessary. On his own, Kabuto was solidly high Jounin level for combat. His major strengths lay in his medical abilities and genetic modifications. In order to rule over this snake pit, he would have to increase the pace of his experimentations and augmentations, and science required (and produced) heaps of corpses.

'Perhaps Orochimaru had the right idea about Sasuke-kun,' he mused to himself, flipping on the lights of his dank laboratory. The lack of sanitation would be something to fix now that he was in charge—he put more stock in practicalities and less in theatricalities than Orochimaru had done. 'I have always liked the look of the Sharingan.'

For now, of course, it would be difficult to go on his own. Luckily, he didn't have to. Kabuto quickly made arrangements to meet with one of his most profitable contacts. The man still thought he was a sleeper agent for Akatsuki, of course, and would see no reason not to lend assistance. Sasori of the Red Sand would be an invaluable ally. Sound knew it was weak, and they needed leverage to keep the wolves at bay—the Leaf and Sand would doubtlessly be coming for their heads when they had licked their wounds.

________________________________________

"Stealth training my ass," Naruto grumbled irritably to himself, crouched on a ceiling. He carefully picked his way across the room, following the vague description his mentor had given him before flouncing off to harass some poor girl.

It was a bit of an indignity—Jiraiya wasn't even here to grade him on his performance. However, he had been told that if he couldn't manage to get to the meeting room unseen before Jiraiya and his contact did, then he wasn't fit to be an apprentice.  
He froze, muscles locking and breath stilling to a pattern so slow that he could hardly hear it himself. It took a few seconds for him to actually hear what he had somehow sensed. Someone was coming along the corridor. Naruto flattened against the ceiling like a tree frog, letting the vague camouflage genjutsu the pervert had taught him ripple over his body. It had seemed like a strange choice—no one had ever thought he had the intelligence and control to cast genjutsu before.

It hadn't been an easy trick to pick up, and Naruto had been stupidly relieved to have finally mastered it. Control (for a jinchuuriki at least) seemed to be a long, boring process involving a lot of meditation and mastery of techniques involving gradually less chakra. He wasn't entirely certain when he would ever use the jutsu that crushed a small rock in his hand into chakra-infused earth or the one that allowed him to manifest a thin blade of wind-natured chakra that could only cut through something like paper, but by kami he had mastered them.

The figure finally passed by with light steps that hinted they were either a genin level ninja or a civilian with special skills like a dancer. It really was just a figure, because in that long cloak and with his poor night vision Naruto had no idea whether he'd been looking at a man or a woman. Naruto carefully sniffed the air to be sure the person had actually left and not just lurked around the corner.

The old man had been surprised by how excellent Naruto's hearing and sense of smell were (and then made a ton of dumb jokes about how loud he was and how bad ramen smelled) but had given him a basic introduction into using senses other than sight for tracking. He'd never be on Kakashi's level or even Aiko's (she'd picked up a lot of tricks in an apprenticeship to a tracker) but he could pretty well tell that the person really had continued on.

He picked his way through the house, stopping in the kitchen to grab a peach scented candy on impulse (crumpling the yellow wrapper in his pocket politely instead of leaving it around) before he finally found the room he'd been told to locate.  
'He didn't give me a lot to work with.' Naruto tried not to pout, thinking of this as a mission instead of a test. He liked missions much better. The room was large and open, with a table set up for tea ceremony and flowers in vases all around. There was a screen, but he immediately discarded that as far too obvious as a hiding place.

No doubt the old pervert would know he was there— especially since he'd told Naruto to listen in—but he had been told to do his best to hide.

A wicked thought occurred, and Naruto gave a wide grin that Iruka would have known meant trouble. He dropped to the floor silently and carefully pulled out one of the flower arrangements without disturbing the alignment. He didn't know what this one said, but he knew that the colors, varieties, and placements of flowers spelled a message. Ruining it would be clumsy and a dead giveaway. He hustled with the vase to a side room he had recently passed and dumped all the water out in the sink, heaving a relieved sigh when no odds and ends from flowers colored the drain. He didn't want to risk the noise of turning on the water.

The trip back to the room took less than a minute, and he carefully placed the vase back in place, the flowers almost entirely back in so that gravity would fix it if he let go, and then flipped onto the wall beside the arrangement and used his free hand to help him concentrate his chakra for the second water technique his sister had ever taught him with his head directly over the lip of the vase. "Hiding in the water," he barely breathed aloud, slipping into liquid and letting his body condense into the purple tinted vase.

It was an unpleasant feeling, especially when the flowers slid down into the water that his body had become, but he metaphorically grinned and bore it for what felt like hours before the pervert shuffled into the room behind an older woman in traditional clothing and a grumpy expression.

The meeting that followed was boring and Naruto barely managed to pay enough attention to prove he had been close enough to hear what went on. Jiraiya gave the room strange looks when his partner looked away, checking the ceiling, that screen, and even under the table. His field of vision barely managed to include the table, so Naruto couldn't be sure he caught everything that went on. He definitely noticed when his teacher starting looking over the flowers with a strange amount of attention.  
He was reminded of the many flaws of this jutsu when the adults left the room and it was time to get out. Hiding in the water created a sort of wiggly space where his body was compressed within whatever shape the water took. That meant that he couldn't really control the water. It would have been easiest to simply end the jutsu and explode out of the bottle, letting whatever mess happened be and fleeing. But…

It would be a little rude to make a mess like that, and also give a pretty big hint that someone had been in that room. He was supposed to be proving that he was sneaky, after all.

Naruto coiled up as best as he could, trying to shoot upwards out of the vase and materialize as he passed the lip of the glassware. It sort of worked—the vase didn't break or go anywhere, but the flowers shot out with him, flopping awkwardly onto the ground and table.

Suppressing the urge to heave a sigh, Naruto gathered up the flora and put in back in the order it had been as best as he could. He had never really learned ikebana properly, but all ninja underwent memory training that would help them reconstruct a scene exactly. A few petals had been mangled, so Naruto pocketed them and climbed the wall back up to the ceiling. He hurried his way through the building—not the way that he had entered, as he had spotted a large open window on his way in and he was in a hurry to get back to where he was meeting Jiraiya.

The toad sage himself was a little baffled, chewing idly on a bit of grass and relaxing in the sun. The woman he'd met had been a real bummer, but she wasn't his contact. His contact had been the one to take the appointment for the meeting and prepare the room with messages encoded in ikebana and the type of tea served.

It had taken him an embarrassingly long time to spot the chakra-dense water that was his wayward genin. In his defense, the boy had seemed a bit thick and Jiraiya had been almost certain he would use the genjutsu he had been taught to hide in the room. The use of what appeared to be hiding in the water was even more baffling because Jiraiya knew damn well that the kid's primary affinity was wind. Maybe water was his secondary? Still, it was strange that he would know that jutsu at all.

When the windswept blonde dropped into a seated position at his feet and gave a long stretch, Jiraiya eyed the kid up. Something twitched in his left eye when he realized the brat had a bit of flora in his hair, but he didn't mention it.  
"Where did you learn hiding in the water, and why didn't you tell me?"

Naruto gave him a strange look. "Aiko taught me."

Jiraiya rolled his eyes. "What for, gaki? There was no reason for you to learn water transformations."

The boy snorted. "Shows what you know. I could never use the tiny amount of chakra to make an Academy standard bunshin," he explained idly. "So Aiko taught me the water transformation one. It was a major pain," he groused with a pout. His expression brightened a moment later when he added that "learning a second water transformation was much easier."

The toad sannin didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry. This kid had the strangest learning habits he'd ever encountered. Teaching Minato had been like teaching a much more intelligent version of himself—he started with basics and progressed with frightening speed up to expert level material. But Naruto was learning things that Jiraiya considered level zero like geography, tactics for low-pressure situations, and chakra control at the same time that he had apparently mastered the Chuunin level skill of completing an elemental transformation that wasn't the user's first type. Either Aiko was a hell of a teacher (and knew her student well) or Naruto was not the idiot he seemed. He didn't want to dismiss his goddaughter's influence out of hand, but he was now pretty damn sure that Naruto was actually a really clever kid.

The headache he felt at that moment was remarkably similar to the one he'd felt when the brat had picked up Rasengan in less than two weeks. Sure, it took less time to learn a jutsu than it did to invent it, but two weeks was ridiculous. It'd taken him longer than that, and he was much more experienced.

The thought occurred that perhaps the underwhelming reports he'd gotten about his godson's performance said more about the teaching methods than the student.

'Maybe I shouldn't try to hammer all the baby stuff into his head,' Jiraiya mused, staring thoughtfully off into space while his student gave him a weird look for his long silence. 'He doesn't have genin level understanding of approved procedures, but I'm not sure he needs to. The kid comes up with unconventional solutions.' Maybe it was just the way that the kid thought. He came at problems sideways instead of head on like a samurai or by sneaking around to the back like a ninja. If he couldn't predict how Naruto would deal with a problem, an enemy almost certainly wouldn't.

Using a water transformation to hide inside had actually been a rather clever trick. It was nontraditional to be sure, and he couldn't count that there would always be water around like that to use. Naruto had the benefit of crazy amounts of chakra—he would be able to maintain jutsu like that far longer than his peers. At his age, Jiraiya probably would not have been able to maintain the jutsu throughout that meeting, to say nothing of however long beforehand he had waited. It wasn't a trick that just anyone could use. That in mind…

"Kid, I'm going to teach you a non-elemental clone technique."

Naruto squawked indignantly. "What the hell for, old man!" He pointed accusingly. "You just don't want to teach me anything good!"  
Jiraiya felt the irritation come creeping back. "Brat, I'm the teacher here!" he roared into Naruto's face. "This is way better than a water clone! Shadow clones are solid and can retain information. They're perfect for spying like what you just did, and you don't have to be the one crouched inside a vase."

Naruto blinked up at him. "So I could have shadow clones use hiding in water?"

"No," Jiraiya said shortly. 'Stupid. I mean, he could, but that would be pointless expenditure of chakra and an extra step.' Before Naruto could protest, he continued firmly, "Shadow clones can use henge. Since they're not material like you and I are, their henge can be an object of significantly smaller mass. Like a vase," he said pointedly. "So. For all I care, you could transform into a rubber duck and hide out in the hotsprings. Won't be able to see anything unless what you transform into has eyes, though."  
That was an important caveat, and the main reason that he didn't get a lot more use out of the shadow clone technique. That and the fact that it had a hideous chakra cost, but what did that matter to an Uzumaki jinchuuriki? He could prance around all damn day blasting grand fireballs out his ass and it wouldn't matter.

He resolved not to make that statement aloud. Naruto might take it as a challenge to invent that version of the grand fireball. The kid hadn't been taught the regular version, of course, but he was determined enough that little things like facts might not stop him.

The boy rolled his eyes, but grumbled agreement. "But you gotta teach me something cool after this," he added hastily.  
Jiraiya gave serious thought to using shadow clones to beat the hell out of the kid in taijutsu for a moment. The smile that crept over his features caused his student to inch backwards and eye him warily, but he didn't notice. It would be easier and less dangerous to teach him how to deal with multiple opponents that way than by finding real fights, he justified to himself. If he allowed each clone to only use certain things—one would use academy standard taijutsu, one would use what Kakashi had beat into his head, and one would pretend to be water type, etc, etc… then he could do a pretty good job of simulating the experience of dealing with multiple fighting styles at the same time that he actually taught the kid different fighting styles.

Plus it would shut him the hell up for a long time while he struggled not to get the crap kicked out of him.

"Alright, gaki. Pay attention." He slowly ran through a sequence of handsigns for Naruto's benefit. "This is how you initially learn it, maintaining constant chakra output from just one gate as you move through this sequence. You'll have to figure out the rate that's best for you- obviously, more chakra equals more clones but I want you to master one at a time to be sure you know what you're doing. When you have it ready, you hit it with about twice the amount of chakra you'll think you need all at once. Once you've got it down, we're going to cut off a handsign one at a time until you can do this with only the cross. Luckily for you, this technique requires flooding your limit gate with chakra and not any real control. So I don't want you embarrassing me by wasting time with ten handsigns."

________________________________________

Uzumaki Karin had never thought of herself as a front line fighting type. She had known since she entered the academy that she had brains and sensing abilities that surpassed those of Jounin. Sure, she also had the enormous chakra reserves that characterized a front-line fighter, but she had possessed the foresight to downplay that as an ace in the hole. Since she had hidden her ability as a jutsu type (and done so too well, as no one had taught her a single jutsu back in Grass) and rather honestly been merely competent with weapons and taijutsu, she had been accustomed to her peers dismissing her as dead weight on a mission.

It was true, after all. Her speed was poor and she had no more combat ability than any other fresh genin.

She had assumed that she would be able to design some sort of specialty. Karin had the intelligence and patience to do well as a poisons analyst or work in code-breaking.

"And if it weren't for these Konoha dorks, I would have gotten away with it too," she groused to the empty clearing from her position slumped on the ground. Painstakingly (and that was meant in a literal sense) she drew her legs up and began yet another round of sit-ups.

It was both stupidly unfair and highly flattering that the Hokage herself had commented that Karin had been wasting her potential. Even if she had gone the medic route in Grass, she was relatively certain that her training wouldn't be this difficult. In a way that made sense— Konoha was renowned for their medical program. In another way it didn't—why the hell did a medic have to physically work hard enough to keep up with peers who were concentrating solely on combat ability? She was stretched thin between the endless reading and paper tests, the refinement of her Mystical Palm technique, her hours at the hospital, and physical conditioning.

So of course that crazy woman had given her yet another responsibility. Starting next week, she would be dealing with about half a class of third year students at the academy in an attempt to teach them to produce medical chakra. Tsunade apparently had the bright idea to get a medic onto every squad, starting terrifyingly young. The students who didn't make the genin cut would be shipped straight off to the hospital and free up highly trained personnel instead of going into the genin corps. Karin thought that Tsunade was nuts but hadn't been quite brave enough to say that. As she pouted, Sasuke and Aiko came running back to the clearing neck and neck. She gave them a dirty look, resenting that they were so far ahead of her in the workout. It was difficult to be so fabulous.

Being fabulous became even harder once her classes started up. Karin hadn't had anything to do with the selection of her students. Medical ninjutsu had simply been added onto the curriculum in the same way that students could pursue an extra projectile weapon—it was extra work so not everyone wanted to do it, but the class was populated both by the students working to maintain top rankings and those who had been counseled that they might do well in it.

At least the standards for the class weren't too high. Karin blew her shaggy bangs off her face with pursed lips and stalked up and down the rows, watching fourteen boys and girls straining to manage the initial manifestation. They had to be taught how to gather normal chakra to their hands first before they could learn to switch it to medical chakra by separating their own elemental affinity out of the mix. Medical chakra was a bit like type O blood—it was compatible with everyone because it didn't have any special properties.

Obviously, it was far from intuitive and required either a prodigious talent in chakra control or the intense familiarity with their chakra system that came from years of experience. Failing that, this type of class could try to force students to cram chakra control down their throats through sheer repetition.

She thoroughly expected this to be a miserable waste of her time, but hey. Orders were orders.  
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I had the hardest time getting this chapter out. Oddly, an entire chapter without Aiko (nominally the main character) in it, and only one of the scenes is one I intended to write. e.e If that bothers you... I don't know, repress it or something because she's going to have to wait until next chapter. :)

Note- As soon as I had posted this I instantly remembered how to write the things that I want to write. Ridiculous. This was edited for minor errors 1/18/2014, the day after the original posting.


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

"Don't be such a brat, Hatake," Tsunade practically snarled when the man finally reported two hours late for the full mission briefing. Anko had given her report and left over an hour ago, but Aiko had waited. It was easiest to find her sensei by lurking around places he eventually had to be.

Aiko and poor Sasuke did their best to be invisible without actually employing any genjutsu while Tsunade raged, cursing like a sailor interspersed with the occasional shriek and the thud of whatever she could grab hitting walls. (The use of chakra sometimes draws the attention of predators larger than oneself, a tip from Konoha's shinobi handbook page 147).

Shizune merely demonstrated her hard-won immunity to Tsunade's frightening atmosphere by rolling her eyes and walking right out of the office. The Hokage pointed unerringly at Aiko. She cringed. "If that brat is still a Chuunin, I'll eat my fucking bra! She's getting promoted and that's final. We need all the Jounin we can get."

Kakashi slumped back against the wall and waved his hand at the thirteen year olds looking spectacularly uncomfortable. "Maa, why don't you two go get drinks and let the grown-ups talk?"

Sasuke outright bolted, making it halfway to the stairs before Tsunade could call out angrily for them to stop. Aiko lingered a little, torn between the desire to flee the woman throwing paperweights through walls and her curiosity. The conversation was about her, after all.

"With all due respect Hokage-sama," Kakashi began in a not-particularly-respectful way, "That decision is mine to make. Not yours. It has always been the purview of an instructor to determine their apprentice ready to move up."

"I'm your Hokage," she snarled, looking downright feral. "You're being ridiculous. It's not a death sentence to get an early promotion. You did yourself, for crap's sake and you know damn well that I can go over your head with this."

Kakashi sighed and straightened, giving her a deadpan expression that indicated he was not impressed by her argument. "Are you really sure you don't want the kid to leave?" he tried one more time. Then he shrugged. "Fine."

'I'm not a kid,' Aiko quietly pouted. She did her best not to let the thought show on her face but almost certainly failed.

"I know that she isn't ready for this promotion in part because I wasn't, so don't tell me that I'm being a hypocrite," Kakashi droned, giving Aiko an uncharacteristically sharp look. She was wise enough to look sheepish. "And no. You can't go over my head. When I agreed to take an apprentice, I had stipulations. Granted, I think that the Sandaime was just humoring me, but he signed them. They're all nice and legal." He visibly dismissed Tsunade, looking idly up at the ceiling as if it held all the answers to the universe's questions. The woman was red-faced and practically shaking with fury.

'She doesn't deal well with having her authority challenged, does she?' Aiko mused. 'It may have been better if I weren't here for this conversation. This… is probably a little embarrassing for her.'

She wasn't entirely sure why her sensei was so insistent about stopping her promotion to Jounin. Aiko didn't mind it, though. Kakashi was one of the few people left in Konoha that she really cared about. She respected Tsunade, but she would support Kakashi over her. He almost certainly had a good reason for blocking her promotion. Besides, there weren't many perks to that promotion. She would probably be removed from Kakashi's team and sent on more dangerous missions.

'Actually, that might be the problem,' Aiko noted. 'Sensei is a little protective. In his weird little way.'

"Whenever you get your filing system figured out, you can read them yourself. If that's too much trouble, I suppose I could go get my copy. I made certain to use small words when I drafted the document, so you should be able to get through it even if Shizune is still irritated with you for acting like a spoiled child." Aiko tried to melt into the floor. He was definitely provoking her on purpose.

'The man is kinda nuts.' 

Nuts or not, once again Kakashi-sensei left triumphant. The victory was slightly marred by the fact that he had been assigned a mission out of the village that, as Tsunade sneered, Aiko would not be able to accompany him on because she did not have Jounin clearance. 'Petty,' Aiko sighed. "Hey, sensei," she started quietly. (Her ears were still ringing.) "Dinner? My treat. I wanted to talk to you about an idea I had involving my chakra chains."

"Shishou."

Aiko blinked, a bit confused. "Uh, what?"

"Kakashi-shishou. I'm not your genin sensei anymore and I'm probably not going to take another team. So you're my apprentice." The words were delivered in an off-hand manner, but she was a bit stunned. It was a generous offer (not that he'd phrased it as an offer, the bastard).

Sure, she had technically been classified as his apprentice so that he could take a genin team. But Aiko had thought that was a legal thing. He'd never asked her to refer to him as anything other than 'sensei'.

Aiko felt her eyes begin to water in a very dignified, grown-up way. She honestly hadn't expected that. But his possessiveness made a lot of sense when she thought about it. He had just lost three students in the course of a month—one to the shinigami, one out of the goddamn country with a very powerful but inattentive master, and the third to Tsunade. In some way, he probably thought Tsunade was trying to take away his last student.

Still, mitigating factors or not, it was pretty damn prestigious to be taken as an apprentice instead of just a student.  
Aiko sniffled, wiping at her face and giving him a winning smile. "Hai, shishou!"

He eyed her suspiciously. "I'm not going out to dinner with you if you're going to cry," he warned seriously.  
She shook her head. "No, I just blinked and an eyelash got in my eye. I'm totally cool, promise."

"Right." He rolled his eye and set off down the street. "I think I want barbeque," he mused out loud.

His apprentice gracefully accepted the subject change and followed him to a restaurant she knew well—it was one that Ino liked. 'You know… If I'm his apprentice now, maybe I should try to emulate him.' Aiko did her best not to snicker. It was traditional, after all. A shishou was a guide for behavior and habits as well as ninjutsu—not just a teacher, but a role model. Plus… it would be really amusing. 'Who am I to spurn tradition?'

As it turned out, Kakashi-shishou did think that her idea was plausible. She had noticed that her chakra chains were heavily tinged with her water-natured chakra affinity, and wondered if it was possible to use nature transformations with them. As they were currently, her chains were just really large and versatile weapons—good for tying people or bashing them to death, and very difficult to break. (To her knowledge they were unbreakable, but it was stupid to assume that there wasn't a way just because she didn't know of it).

Since she had already gone through the trouble of learning lightning transformation and could now coerce her coils into generating lightning-natured chakra, well… Aiko resisted the urge to cackle as best as she could while she explained that she wanted to be able to electrocute with her chains since they would be excellent conductors.

"That is overkill," her shishou commented crisply, for once looking mostly engaged in the conversation. "Who do you plan on fighting, the sage of six paths? I think I can help you with it." He fixed her with a stern glare. "If you electrocute me again, however…." His voice trailed off.

"I will try to resist the urge," she grumbled, a little embarrassed. On the other side of the booth, a man she suspected was an Akimichi stifled what seemed to be a laugh.

She hadn't conducted even initial experimentation yet, because it had seemed like a stupid idea to try before asking someone who she knew had gone through the experience of making his own lightning natured technique. Frankly, she wasn't particularly eager to electrocute herself. After Kakashi returned from his mission and she managed to lure him out of his apartment with food (she was a good cook and he never seemed to have anything in his apartment), she tried for the first time under his supervision at training ground seven.

Now that she had done it, it was almost criminally easy to manifest her chakra chains again. She pointedly made only three—one to experiment on, and the other two as a control group. Her shishou had pointed out that it would be important to know if it was possible to change just one chain to lightning nature or if they would all change.

All three of them fizzled out of existence when she tried to change just one. Aiko blinked stupidly, not quite understanding what had happened.

"I wondered about that," Kakashi commented lazily. "Uzumaki chakra chains only seem to manifest in members with water-natured chakra. I don't think you'll be able to have lightning natured chains."

Aiko scowled in thought, displeased at the development. "But does that mean that I can't attach something like a chakra thread of another nature around it?" she asked after a long silence. Her teacher gave her a strange look. She hurried to demonstrate by manifesting a string and flipping her coils. "See, I can already do that. Remember that I used to think that the chakra chains worked along the same lines as chakra thread for puppeteering? I worked with those until I thought I was going to be sick."  
Kakashi slapped a gloved palm to his forehead and shook his head, snickering.

"What?" she asked, offended.

"That is the most ridiculously wasteful technique I have ever heard of," he pointed out, sounding amused.  
Aiko snorted in disbelief. "Yeah, whatever. Chakra threads use nothing." She demonstrated by splitting the line she was manipulating into six and wiggling it. He stilled, a strange look on his face.

"I've never seen anyone outside of Suna use more than one at once."

She raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Why? It's not that hard, and the control required isn't even up to introductory medical techniques."

"It's not a matter of difficulty per say," he started, indicating that she should maintain the strings while he walked around and checked how nuanced her control was. "The payoff isn't generally worth it. For anyone other than a puppet master, conventional wisdom says that there's no benefit to using more than one at once. For most shinobi chakra threads are an ace in the hole for when they've lost their weapons or something similar. Believe it or not, they do require a fair bit of chakra for a rookie, and by the time most shinobi get to be Chuunin they already have specialties that are much more effective than anything they could do with threads like those."

"So… my idea is worthless?" she pouted. At least they were still pretty—when she charged them with lightning natured chakra, her strings positively glittered like threads of gold.

Her shishou shook his head. "I don't think so. There's a chance that you could make your idea work, but the threads would have to be ridiculously long to be useful," he cautioned. "In order for them to wrap around the threads enough times that you can be sure they'll touch whoever you'll be touching with them, they'll have to be easily three times the length of the chains."  
"That's easy enough," she muttered, trying it out.

It wasn't that easy. When she pooled the threads out long enough to be useful at all, she found that control was becoming an issue after all.

She sat cross-legged on the ground with a thump, quietly manipulating them as best as she could to figure out her limitations.  
"Well, it's an interesting idea," Kakashi sighed, pulling out his book. "But it will take far more control than you currently have to make it useful at all. Remember, not only will you have to simultaneously maintain two techniques of different chakra natures, but you'll have to be able to independently control them at much larger distances than you're used to."

"In other words, chakra control exercises are next," she said miserably, unfolding her legs to sit like a rag doll, heels digging into the warm soil. She had never been prone to neglecting the basics, but it was depressing to have to work on control when she had something she wanted to develop that was infinitely more interesting.

________________________________________

Sasuke sat down across from Karin in the hospital break room, clutching onto a cup of coffee for dear life. Somehow, he hadn't expected that he would have to do the same type of grunt work other medic trainees did when he accepted Tsunade's training offer.

That had been a mistake.

Karin delicately backed up in her chair so that she wasn't in the direct path of her fellow trainee's glower. "So, long day?" she inquired. She knew it had been. Apparently, a new group of Academy trainees had gone through their first real taijutsu lesson (when they began sparring instead of just learning kata), and the waiting room had been filled with skinny eight year olds covered in bruises and scrapes. The initial injuries were actually an intentional part of the lesson—a way for Academy teachers to ensure that students knew how to get treatment at the hospital.

It was also unfortunately a training exercise for beginning medics who were qualified to treat minor injuries but had no real experience working on adjusting to foreign chakra systems and practicing their bedside manner.

Tsunade had given hilariously little training in bedside mannerisms, Karin had noted while Sasuke bulldozed through a list of jumpy kids with a white-knuckled grip on his clipboard and an expression that indicated he was considering using it to bludgeon his way to freedom. She, on the other hand, had been given strict rules and expectations about how she talked to patients.

With her temper, she had already been wrestling with that requirement much more than the actual act of healing, which she had a talent for. Two days ago some dirty old man had grabbed at her leg when she was getting a needle off the cart for an injection. It had been a tactical error. She had smiled sweetly without comment and accidentally failed to find his vein eighteen times.

She had been roundly chewed out. Something about stabbing civilians when proper procedure would be to refer them to hospital security and file sexual harassment charges?

"I had three patients who were apparently brutalized by the same Hyuuga," he deadpanned. "I'm going to be coaxing open tenketsu in my dreams."

Karin winced. "Hanabi?"

Dark eyes glared at her over his coffee. "That's her name? Little monster." She snorted, hiding her amusement at the undue hatred for a pre-genin. If he hadn't ended up having to clean up after Hanabi, Sasuke probably wouldn't have cared one way or another if the girl had decided to break two wrists a day during recess in between tea parties with pink plastic cups.

"I get the impression that she isn't as gentle as Hinata," Karin settled for diplomatically. That was an understatement. From what she understood, Hanabi was a horrible little brat and personally she thought that Hinata would be much better off if the girl hadn't been born. But Hinata was her friend, and there was something of an unspoken rule of friendship that included not telling girls that you'd prefer if their beloved little sister had never existed.

'Even when that brat is the reason they branded Hinata like a cow,' she fumed, pulling her yoghurt out of the fridge and moodily stabbing through the tin lid. The assessment might not have been fair—it wasn't Hanabi who had made the claim that by not even making a good showing in the Tournament she had embarrassed her family. But it was Hanabi who beat Hinata down in a spar with unnecessary prejudice the day before they put the caged bird seal on Hinata. Karin had been in the hospital (changing bedpans and being grumpy about it) when Hinata came in, silently crying after apparently having a painful reaction to her new tattoo. She was both glad that she didn't belong to a clan like that and absolutely fucking livid that they had done that to such a gentle girl. Hinata had explained that she was only having so much trouble because the seal was only meant to be placed on children, as if that somehow mitigated the horror of what the Hyuuga did to their own kin.

Now that she'd been reminded, Karin promised herself that she would check in on Hinata after she got off work. The poor girl had been stressed lately. She had suffered even worse nerves than usual after the sealing, which Karin didn't blame her for. It was a pretty resounding proof that her family didn't value her.

In addition to her family troubles and self esteem issues, Hinata was also dealing with disruption in her routine. Kurenai was the last Jounin sensei out of their circle of acquaintances to return from her emergency duties. An Academy class had been cycled through condensed training in the months since the invasion and had been deployed to fill the genin ranks, leaving more experienced genin to take Chuunin promotions (some of them were even prepared for those promotions). Unfortunately, that also meant that unprepared Chuunin had been promoted to Jounin to fill those ranks. Really, the only group that hadn't seen a sudden increase in mission injuries were the genin (both in-village and those attached to elite Jounin sensei).

She found the girl with Shino on training grounds 8, doing dodging exercises while he apparently worked on his throwing. Karin leaned against a tree with one foot bent up against the trunk and waited, hands shoved inside the pockets of her dress for protection from the chill. It was a windy day, and she eventually conceded defeat and tied her hair back while she waited for her friend to finish training for the day. After a few minutes, the boy paused in his shuriken assault long enough to give her an inscrutable look.

"Hinata. Do you wish to stop for the day?"

She startled like a frightened rabbit, catching the last weapon between her fingertips instead of dodging it. "W-what?"  
He inclined his head towards Karin, shoving his hands inside his coat. He was probably cold too, Karin noted with an amused sniff and a hidden smile. Hinata swiveled around almost enough for a normal human to move Karin into their range of vision and visibly relaxed. "Oh! Karin-chan," she breathed.

"Yo." Karin waved before shoving her hand back into her pockets quickly. "If you're done, I make killer hot chocolate."  
Shino frowned. "What does it kill? Is it poisoned? Who is the target?"

Karin's jaw dropped and she gave him a bizarre look before noting that Hinata looked equally interested in the answer. 'Ugh, ninja can be so hopeless,' she groaned. "Look, it's just an expression alright? It means that it's really good and I was inviting her back to my house. You're welcome to come too, if you'd like," she added politely. She was pretty sure he wasn't interested, but she didn't want to snub him either.

"Oh," they both said almost in unison. Hinata looked relieved, but her teammate looked disappointed. Karin heaved a sigh.  
"Anyway, if you're not done I can wait," she offered, pushing at her glasses and frowning at the way they were fogging up. Hinata tilted her chin towards her teammate and began fiddling with her fingers. Karin pulled off her glasses and wiped them on her shirt before putting them back on just in time to see Shino look faintly amused.

"I think that it would be optimal for the two of us to be done with training for the day. I have yet to eat dinner, and I am certain that you are hungry as well, Hinata." He reached out and plucked his shuriken from Hinata's hand, then strode over to the far side of the clearing and began gathering his weaponry. "Thank you for the invitation, Karin-san, but I am expected at home." She nodded in acknowledgment and the girls hustled to assist him in picking weaponry. Hinata easily found the most, but Karin felt her addition of six kunai, two shuriken and a flat blade she didn't recognize was a respectable contribution to the clean-up for a practice she hadn't been part of.

"Thank you, Hinata, Karin-san." Shino gave a short bow.

Karin bowed in return, quickly followed by Hinata. "Good night, Shino-san."

"Good night, Shino-kun!" Hinata eeped when Karin grabbed at her arm and began hustling across the training grounds, burrowing into her coat for protection against the wind.

"Come on, it is way too cold to linger out here." She pulled the other girl into a run, crossing the dirt paths that led to downtown with top haste. They slowed down when they made it into Konoha proper where the tall buildings provided a wind break, and Karin gave a long stretch and yawn. "What do you think about making tekkamaki?"

As it turned out, they ran into Aiko at the grocery store, who must have been thinking of dinner as well. She was staring at the chocolate section with a vaguely stupid look on her face, so Karin took the opportunity to tug on one of her curls. She laughed in the taller redhead's face when she whirled around, barely avoiding whacking Hinata with her basket. Aiko gave Karin a dirty look. "Oh. It's you," she said flatly, grabbing a chocolate bar off the shelf at random and stuffing it into her empty basket. "Hello, Hinata. How are you?"

While Hinata muttered a greeting of some sort and fidgeted, Karin briskly informed her cousin that they were having tekkamaki and strode off in search of sushi-grade tuna. She was less than surprised when Aiko got a thoughtful expression and declared that she wanted to make sweet potato hosumaki as well. Aiko had a strange fondness for vegetables that Karin would rather leave alone. At least it wasn't thrice-damned ramen.

The three girls collected everything they needed, Hinata awkwardly lugging a large bottle of the watermelon flavored water she liked to drink in the morning, and waved at a bored-looking Nara Shikamaru following around a woman dressed in tan who must be his mother (she had a similar nose and a no-nonsense attitude that manifested in the way she shoved heavy items in the basket he was carrying) before heading out the door.

While they had gone to the closest grocery store, there was still quite a walk back to the Uzumaki residence. There were very few civilian-ran establishments in the largely shinobi areas of town, so it was probably lucky that they were all in excellent physical condition. Still, Karin was relieved when they reached the garden out front.

Karin somehow managed to pry her cold fingers out from under her bag, tucking it against her chest with her open arm, and nudged open the door with a foot. She flounced in first, leaving her sandals in a messy heap and slipping into her glittery red house shoes before tripping into the house and dumping the large paper sack in her arms onto the table. Hinata and Aiko exchanged amused glances, pushing their shoes up much more neatly against the sides of the room before Aiko dug out her own blue slippers (a fluffy affair with sparkly green turtles that Naruto had ripped off cheap necklaces and sewn on as a joke gift). Hinata was such a frequent houseguest in the last month that Karin had actually gone and purchased her a personal pair of slippers (Karin didn't believe in communal shoes, they were the devil's work). Of course, since Karin had picked them, they didn't much suit Hinata at all, but she gamely slipped them on and somehow managed to look pleased as punch about wearing hot pink shoes. She was probably just grateful to feel welcome somewhere. Judging by how often she slept over, Karin was really certain that all was not well at the Hyuuga home.

"I think I have this pretty well in hand," Aiko called, striding into the kitchen and flipping on the lights. "The kitchen is a bit too small for three cooks." Karin shrugged and barely managed to rescue an orange from rolling off the table—she wasn't much of a cook anyways.

"Fine by me, but tell me when you're almost done so I can start hot chocolate. Hey, Hinata, want to put in a movie?" Karin punched on the television and cast an inquiring look at her friend.

"Oh, yum," Aiko mumbled to herself, clattering around for a cutting board.

Hinata looked between the two before gracefully picking her way into the living room. The cat sleeping in the exact center of the couch opened one eye sleepily to glare at her and then closed it again. "Ano, where are the movies?"

"I think most of them are in my room," Aiko called absentmindedly. Karin rolled her eyes. Aiko had the weird habit of dragging the movies into her bedroom. There wasn't a television in there, but she did have nearly floor-to-ceiling shelves where she stored a downright frightening amount of books. The top left shelf was all movies in perfect alphabetical order, pushed back against the wall so that none of them stuck out. Books were arranged similarly below. Her cousin was pretty weird sometimes. Who cared if their books and movies were in alphabetical order? Karin was much more likely to have a pile of her ten favorites by her bedside, coffee table, and by the television.

Nonetheless, she led her friend into Aiko's room because she knew Hinata would be uncomfortable going into someone's bedroom alone. Hinata's eyes widened at the ridiculous display of books. "I've never heard of most of these," she said quietly, running her gaze over the titles. "The little red book of writing?" Hinata squinted. "…historical fashion? Icha Icha Make- eep!" Hinata pulled her hands back, flushing bright red. "Ah, she has an eclectic collection," the girl practically squeaked, turning her attention back to the movies and wrapping her arms around her body.

Karin snorted. "You're telling me," she groused. "I think she wrote like a third of them. The ones with the unlabeled covers—see, they're just dimestore books, like for notes and sketches and stuff. She won't let me read them though. I bet they're really bad." She poked at a green and purple hard cover.

"I'm sure they're good," Hinata said rather loyally, grabbing one of the few titles she was familiar with off the top shelf. Karin leaned in to check the title and was relieved to see it was actually one of the ones she had purchased—a historical drama about a samurai and the girl he married. Spoiler- she was an undercover kunoichi who had been hired to ensure he failed, but it all worked out when she defected.

"Nice," she approved. In the front room she lit the cherry blossom scented tea candles that Aiko kept on tea saucers for some reason and pulled out extra pillows and blankets from the hall cupboard.

"Karin, if you want to start hot chocolate now would be a good time," Aiko called from the other room.

"Oh, crap. Coming!" Karin hustled in, Hinata following at her heels like a duckling. The brunette settled at the kitchen table politely and flipped through the book sitting there- a guide to native flora and fauna with medicinal uses that Karin had left out the night before.

"Did you know that Sasuke signed Tsunade's summoning contract?" Karin half-asked, half informed while she pulled open the cupboard and withdrew measuring cups and a pot. She'd found that out on break. Hinata sounded politely interested, but Aiko made a genuinely baffled face at the news.

"It seems really early in his apprenticeship to start that, doesn't it?" She scraped perfectly seasoned rice out of the pot and into a bowl and started cutting dried nori, moving to the side to give Karin room to work.

Karin shrugged philosophically, measuring out milk and cocoa and dumping them directly into the pan with a glob of butter. "I dunno, maybe Tsunade is taking advantage of how much chakra he has. It's nothing on you or Naruto, but he's no slouch." She critically eyed the mixture and then added extra sugar with a faintly guilty expression and a none-too-subtle poke at her flat stomach.

"I don't know much about summoning contracts," Hinata ventured, flipping a page and leaning down to examine an illustration more closely. Her face tightened. "My honored father has one, but only Clan Heads sign it. I…. I was under the impression that they required large amounts of chakra to utilize, so Karin-chan's suggestion seems sound."

Karin stepped over the elephant in the room that trumpeted around and stomped on peanuts at the reminder that Hinata would never be signing that contract. "Pass the dark chocolate, would you?" She began shaving off tiny curls to garnish the whipped topping while the cocoa began to simmer.

"I got a letter from Naruto today postmarked last week," Aiko changed the subject. Hinata looked up none too subtly, and Karin stifled a grin. That girl practically jumped half a foot every time someone said his name.

"Oh?" Hinata prodded, unusually aggressive.

Aiko gave her an amused glance, pausing in spooning hot rice out onto nori. "Yes, his training is going well from what I gather. He isn't allowed to tell me where he's been or anything, but the letter was sent from Tea Country of all the places. Apparently his shishou taught him a genjutsu."

"That's interesting," Hinata commented thoughtfully. "I didn't know that Naruto-san had a knack for genjutsu."

Aiko barked a surprised laugh. "He doesn't, not at all," she confided conspiratorially, giving downright frightening attention to precisely arranging raw tuna slices. "I bet it was hard work for him. In fact, I don't think he ever figured out that Iruka-sensei's Big Head no Jutsu is actually a genjutsu. I used to get him out of bed sometimes with an olfactory genjutsu of cookies baking. The look on his face, every time..."

Hinata giggled. "That's a little bit unkind, isn't it?" She splayed a hand out on the table as if examining her chipped nail polish.  
"Nah," the girl dismissed, squeezing the bamboo roller and unfolding it to reveal another perfectly formed roll. She set it on the plate with the others and began working on the last roll. Karin gave her cousin a weird look.

"Are we really going to eat that much?" she asked a bit skeptically.

Aiko furrowed her brow and looked at the food she'd made as if she was a bit surprised to see it. "I guess I'm cooking on auto," she said after a pause. Then she shrugged. "Whatever we don't eat will go in bento tomorrow, I suppose. You'll take one too, right Hinata?"

Karin made a face. "Second day tuna?"

Her cousin made a face at her. "We'll eat those first, okay? Ugh, nag nag nag." She stuck her tongue out at the shorter girl. Hinata stifled a giggle while Aiko changed the subject to ask Karin about medical chakra control exercises. She didn't know anyone quite like the Uzumaki family. She wasn't entirely sure if that was a tragedy or good for Konoha's relatively peaceful atmosphere. If she didn't manage to marry Naruto, she was going to have to marry Karin instead so that she could stay here forever.


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

Uchiha Itachi looked once more at the picture of his target, Uzumaki Naruto, and considered banging his head against the wall. It would be most undignified and out of character, but then again, so was the fact that he had managed to overlook the fact that his otouto's sensei had taken one student before the team with the jinchuuriki. Just one—which was more than a bit unusual. Even Itachi himself had been on a genin team (if only for about a month).

He had sent a query with a mutual contact about young, red-headed kunoichi in Konoha's active forces in an attempt to figure out who that girl had been. There couldn't possibly be very many, he had thought. Only about a third of the active forces were female, only 26 percent of which were under the age of twenty, and he knew that the vast majority of Konoha's citizens were far less colorful than those of Mist or Snow.

As it turned out, there were only two kunoichi who fit his description, and both of them shared a last name with his jinchuuriki target.

When he had received the initial briefing on his target, it hadn't taken Itachi long at all to put a few pieces of information together and come to a few conclusions. He certainly hadn't missed the connection between the boy's birthday and the day that he was sealed, and his last name implied that he was a direct relative of the former jinchuuriki. Public records listed that woman as one Uzumaki Kushina who had been listed as dying on the day of the nine tails' attack. The fact that his sister shared a shade of this Kushina's unusual hair color seemed to lend credence to the theory that she was their mother and not some other relative.

It seemed most likely that the woman had died in childbirth in a Madara-assisted tragedy and it had been covered up for some reason, Itachi had surmised. Perhaps it had been intended to prevent her name from being smeared after her death by upset villagers looking for a scapegoat for the horrors of that day? If that had been the intention, it had worked well enough. Itachi remembered the confusion of the days after October tenth and the moment that fingers had seemed to point at the Uchiha clan on the basis of a legend.

If Madara was to be believed, the villagers had been onto the correct path of deductive reasoning even if the people they pointed fingers at were innocent. However, when they turned their resentment towards the new jinchuuriki after his identity became clear, they had failed to show such clarity of vision.

After all, it was obvious even to Itachi who had no memories of seeing the man in person that this Uzumaki Naruto was the child of the fourth Hokage. The resemblance was far too strong for any other conclusion to be reached. Unless Namikaze Minato was an absolute monster of a man, he would not have sealed a demon inside his own child without being certain that it was safe. Itachi was certain that both of those children were kept under tight supervision. It would explain Jiraiya's connection to the girl and why he was taking a personal interest in Naruto when conventional wisdom would have indicated that the boy should have been kept within the village while S class criminals hunted him. Konoha's jinchuuriki was a treasure of the country for more than just the contents of the ink on his belly.

That heritage meant, he concluded rather bitterly, that the twin of the jinchuuriki may well be a person of interest on her own merits rather than as a note about a possible weakness to use against Naruto. No child of the Red Chained Death and the fourth Hokage would be content with mediocrity.

Still, no amount of Uzumaki sealing or Namikaze speed (he had been doing a lot of reading up on the two figures he had previously only known about in a passing sense) would explain the girl's strange visions. Unless it was a bloodline ability that had been concealed? Very possible, he concluded. Anyone with sense at all could tell that it was a very dangerous ability that could easily be misused. If the Uchiha had really had the predictive powers they boasted about, they would have denied everything that hinted at the ability and hoarded it as best as they could.

Then again, if it had been an Uzumaki trait, their village probably wouldn't have been destroyed, Itachi mused rather wryly. He struggled not to let any irritation rise. 'This is an unproductive line of reasoning.' He blinked slowly, lifting his head to view the sunrise outside his window. 'Without more information about how such an ability would function, I cannot draw conclusions about what limitations it may possess or what a user would do with it.'

What was more important, Itachi decided, was determining if he should act on the information he had unwittingly stumbled upon or not. His initial plan had been to stall retrieving the Nine-Tails for as long as possible and feeding Jiraiya information that would hopefully lead to the incapacitation of Akatsuki personnel to prevent their goals.

It seemed unlikely that the girl would do anything to interfere with those aims. Perhaps it would just be best to gather what information he could and step carefully.

________________________________________  
There was an awkward four-way stare off between Aiko and the three genin she would be leading on a short messenger mission as a way to get them a little experience outside of the village and give her experience with command. She swallowed, hard.

The genin just looked so… tiny. Had she really been that small only two years ago? 'No,' her mind supplied. 'I was one of the tallest kids in the Academy when I was nine. At their age, I must have been four inches taller than that.' A voice that sounded a little like Sasuke's was laughing hysterically at her somewhere in the back of her head. She resolved to never let him know about this mission if it didn't go well.

They didn't exactly look impressed with her either, to be fair. They were probably not expecting a thirteen year old Chuunin who didn't even wear her flak jacket.

She spent a moment wondering where the hell that thing was. The one they'd given her at age eleven had been far too large to wear. Maybe it was in the back of her closet somewhere.

The three children in front of her (and they seemed like children, even if those headbands made them adults) were from the group that Tsunade had bumped up into the genin corps to free up more experienced ninja to take the missions the village desperately needed to function. They probably weren't happy knowing that they wouldn't be getting a real Jounin sensei until the village found its equilibrium again, but they were at least smart enough not to voice the doubts they were obviously having. Their best chance for escaping the trap that the genin corps sometimes became was to find a sponsor in an upper level peer… like Aiko.

She cleared her throat and pasted on a smile. "Ohayo, I'm Uzumaki Aiko and I will be your team leader." There was a beat of silence while the eleven year olds glanced at each other with varying levels of skepticism and uncertainty.

Aiko committed to memory that the girl with the sleek black pigtails and blue eyeshadow in a white halter top and slit blue skirt was Akira, the dirty blonde boy beside her in a green sleeveless tee was Ken, and that the other little girl, a shy thing with shaggy bangs who was practically swimming in loose yellow clothing, was Emiko. She led them to the red bridge her team liked to meet at before folding her legs and encouraging them to sit on the sun-warmed wood as well to look over the mission brief.  
"Have any of you been outside the village before?" At the three heads that shook silently, Aiko sighed and leaned back. She readied herself for a lecture. "All right then. The town we are going to is near our closest border outpost, normally manned by Chuunin," she started easily, cracking one eye open to be sure they were paying attention. "Can anyone tell me why that this mission is going to be run by a team of genin instead of a single Chuunin posted on border duty?"

Akira was apparently insightful enough to guess that the Chuunin at the border were basically glorified genin. When her teammates gave her scornful looks, Aiko cut in by ruffling the girl's hair.

"That's right, actually. In much the same way that you three were promoted before you were to normal genin standards because we desperately needed to fill the ranks, so have they been promoted. Therefore, while it is normally acceptable to take one Chuunin off patrol to run messages, we will be doing that off and on for a few weeks so that the border outpost doesn't lose any strength. Does anyone think they know what all they will need to bring for a mission like this? Feel free to ask questions."  
"Um…" Emiko bit at her lower lip and looked down. "Should we bring full camping equipment? I mean, it's pretty warm this time of year, and they're so heavy that we won't be moving very fast if we carry them everywhere."

"Good question, but I think you'll be surprised by how cold it gets at night," Aiko informed in an amused tone. "I would pack a change of clothing other than what you wear out of the village, at least one of which is for colder weather. Normally you would be right about camping equipment, but I will have that under control. I need to practice my sealing anyways. So when we meet, lug your sleeping bags along if you have them. If not, at least one warm blanket."

"Weapons?" Emiko asked with more confidence this time.

"No more than you can carry in your holster, and only the kind you are most skilled with," Aiko confirmed. "I hope you all had good survival scores, because I will be making sure you can take care of gathering and preparing food within Konoha's borders on this trip." She made a face. Because the class had been graduated half a year early, they hadn't yet completed their curriculum. That meant she might be walking sobbing children through their first time skinning a bunny rabbit. Joy.  
They gave each other uneasy looks, but let that pass without comment.

Then Aiko broached the topic that Kakashi never had with his genin team. "Your outfits," she started, watching with some amusement when all three of them glanced down, "are unsuitable for field work. I expect to see you report for duty with close-fitting clothing of dark or camouflage coloring and any flapping sleeves or such secured with bandages or clips that won't snag. Mesh or other light armor is recommended, and I don't want to see any polyester blends. That means cotton or other breathable fabrics. Does anyone not have clothing like that in their wardrobe?"

When two hands went up and the other wavered uncertainly, Aiko heaved a sigh and wondered why the hell the Academy didn't make this point more often.

She swiveled her ankles to place her feet flat on the red painted wood and stood up without bothering to unfold her legs, letting her left leg slide over to stabilize her weight. "Alright then, follow me kiddies. I will finance exactly one work appropriate outfit for all three of you, since I know you haven't been earning much yet. But I will be very disappointed if I don't see that you've added to it in a month or so. I know that weapons and food are important, but your clothes are ninja gear too."

The next day, she and her three mini-me ninjas (clad in long-sleeved tunics much like her own, complete with adorable little masks that Ken had been decidedly unhappy about) met at the gate. Izumo didn't bother to hide his snorts of laughter, eventually descending into desk-slapping hysterics. Aiko tapped her foot, unamused and with her lips pressed so tightly together that they were turning white.

That was about when Kotetsu looked up from his paperwork, scrunched up his face at his idiotic coworker in disgust, and then caught sight of Aiko and her three genin. His face turned green.

"Am I seeing things, or has Hatake finally figured out how to reproduce by splitting in thirds?" he half-whispered as if afraid to catch her attention.

Aiko turned bright red, cheeks coloring under the half-mask and slapped down her mission orders with more force than necessary. "Cut the crap, please" she snapped briskly. They didn't have to be such total dicks all the time. Okay, so maybe she hero worshiped her shishou a little bit. But that didn't give them license to mock her. He was actually a really freaking awesome shinobi. On his worst day, blinded and with both hands tied behind his back, he could easily put the hurt down on the two of them at once. They had no right to be anything less than reverent towards such a fine specimen. Besides, his preferences in mission gear were both practical and good-looking.

"Sure thing senpai," Izumo wheezed, not noticing his coworker disengaging from the conversation and snatching the last of his cruller.

She reached over and hit him upside the head. It took a few minutes of glowering and paper stamping to get them out of the village, at which point her ducklings tried to give her inquisitive looks. "Don't ask," she practically growled. "They're just jealous."

The eleven year olds noted her stomping and clenched fists. Wisely, none of them commented, though they did exchange looks behind her back that they probably assumed she didn't sense.

It quickly became clear that the genin were still innocent enough to be delighted by their first trip out of the village walls. Not for the first time, Aiko wondered if the strictly enforced restriction of travel was actually intended to cause children to associate the freedom outside with the glamour of being a ninja and not something that everyone should be able to experience. She said nothing, however. It wasn't a productive area of discussion, especially when she was the only person she knew whose formative ideals hadn't been purposefully engendered as part of Konoha's military culture.

She drove them at a grueling pace to the outpost more because it was professional than because she needed to work off irritation, stopping only once for a twenty minute break and sympathetically watched them struggle to get down as much water as possible with shaking fingers, flopping down onto the cool dirt.

"Slow down," she cautioned mildly after giving them a few minutes to make bad decisions. They probably wouldn't want to listen, but it would only be fair to give them the information to make the right choice. They'd remember it later. "You'll regret it if you make yourself sick. Use small, constant sips. And don't just fall over like a dead cat, stretch so that you don't get cramps."  
'Wow, timid little Emiko has an unexpectedly fierce glare,' Aiko noted. Outwardly, she gave them a big silly grin that she was sure they could see through her mask. That surety was partially based on the fact that Akira grit her teeth and began breathing slowly through them as if she was counting her breaths. She forced her smile to move upwards, creasing her eyes. One of them actually managed to achieve mild killing intent.

'Hey, this is actually pretty fun,' she giggled to herself while doing her own stretches. She was just doing what she had to do—keeping them on task and moving at a respectable speed. The transition from training to be a shinobi and even introductory level shinobi active duty wasn't an easy one.

"Okay kids, break's over!" She did her best not to relish the overly-dramatic wails that came after. It was a veritable chorus of "that wasn't twenty minutes!"

It hadn't been. It was twenty three minutes, but breaks always felt too short when you were still coming down from a stomach-churning workout.

The next time that they stopped, it was for the night. It felt more than a bit silly to spend more than one day en route to the outpost. On her own, Aiko could have made the trip in about five hours. Her shishou undoubtedly could have done it in four. But luckily for her poor genins' sake, Aiko had possessed the foresight to ask Iruka-sensei as to just what speed she could safely push fresh genin to. The surprise on his face had indicated that either the common sense approach to information gathering was rare or that Iruka wasn't usually the person people asked. She wasn't sure if she should be depressed by that lack of practical habits or wonder if there was something wrong with Iruka's assessments that would lead people to avoid asking him those types of questions.

As it turned out, Ken had the quickest reflexes and brought down a hare first. When Emiko brought down the second, she had them skin and prepare them while Akira gathered wood, lit the fire, and went out on a short hunt for edible berries.  
She split the watch into two-hour segments that night, taking the last watch herself and running a short perimeter check while Emiko practically crawled back into her sleeping bag with gummy eyes.

When tummies grumbled and the bags had been re-sealed back into one of the short scrolls Aiko tucked into her hip pouch, she withdrew four energy bars and passed them out. "If we hurry, we can pick up our package and stop for lunch at a teashop close to the outpost," she said mildly, knowing perfectly well that the thought of real food would be irresistible after having those terrible bars for two days in a row.

She let Ken take point and set the pace when they left again, taking the rear position so that she could keep them all in sight and keep an eye out for threats. It would be pretty terrible to have her genin swiped out from behind her on her very first command. Aiko was pleased to note that her admonishment about speed had been taken into account and Ken was setting a pace that had both him and Akira panting. Emiko took much longer to seem to give out steam, face flushing pink about the time that her teammates first had to take a five minute breather for drinks.

"We need to veer east," she advised mildly, letting Ken choose the exact path. She would have taken to a higher route through the trees, but the rookie genin were all unfortunately still bound by gravity's rules and had to take the somewhat more circuitous route around the thickest copses of trees.

Of all the people in the world who could have been manning the outpost, Shikamaru was the Chuunin who ambled out to meet them. He shook his head wordlessly, giving the panting genin a somewhat pitying look. "She made you run the whole way, did she?" Dark eyes passed over Aiko's sweat-free form. "I'm glad you weren't my sensei, Aiko-senpai."

Akira lifted her head to give Aiko a strange look, darting back and forth between the two Chuunin. Her expression was most politely described as 'incredulous'. Aiko was mildly offended. She was the same age as Shikamaru and about as tall as he was. He didn't really look any more impressive than she did. Maybe it was that damn vest? Goddamn, she was going to dig through her closet when she got home. If the smallest size fit Shikamaru's skinny ribs, hers should work fine now that she was older.  
Of course Shikamaru caught the look. "When are you getting promoted?" he prodded, giving a slight smirk at the way she glowered. "If I'm Chuunin material, you're Jounin material."

"What, you want to share all the fun you're having?" she asked dryly. Then she shrugged artlessly. "It's a long story, that begins and ends with Kakashi-shishou mouthing off to a Hokage and telling them they aren't qualified to make decisions about promotions. There may have been pointed comments about someone's alcoholism and relative lack of intelligence. At this point, I think it would be best if I just let Tsunade-sama forget I exist so as not to draw any attention. I'm fine with Chuunin clearance anyway."

The boy snorted. "Bet she liked that." Shikamaru dug around in his hip pouch, extracting a brown paper bundle tied with blue string. "Here. It's too troublesome to hold onto this longer than I have to. My supervisor keeps checking to make sure I haven't lost it. It almost seems like they don't trust me or something."

Aiko snorted. "That's an adorable package," she deadpanned, unzipping her own pouch and tucking the surprisingly hefty 4x4x2 box inside.

It was in fact very cute, but the colored string was actually a message itself. It would have been yellow if the missive had been top priority. As it was, a blue stringed message wasn't worth dying to protect. More importantly, it meant that she hadn't lied to her genin about stopping for lunch.

She withdrew her own package from her thigh holster. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow but didn't comment about the fact that she had sealed everything inside a scroll instead of carrying it normally. It hadn't been an impossible amount of material—a few letters with updated orders, a package from someone's sweetheart that she suspected contained baked goods, and a few porno mags and personal items that had been unofficially entrusted to Aiko when word got out that she would be making the deliveries between Konoha and the outpost for the next few weeks. Officially, such things were contraband and personal belongings other than regular letters from family were not allowed on base.

Unofficially, it was widely accepted that border duty was magically even more fucking boring when one was off duty and extracurricular reading material was traded for prices that luxury goods were back home.

Aiko certainly didn't mind bringing the reading material with her; although a couple of the men who'd handed them to her seemed to expect to be beaten roundly about the head. She wasn't sure if the fact that they expected her to scream 'hentai' but had delivered it anyway meant that they were brave or just stupid. There was a fairly good chance that anyone who gave a thirteen year-old known for a cool head reason to scream about perverts would end up full of holes before Anko stopped to evaluate the situation. She did so love to puncture things.

Aiko did, however, mind the idea of passing adult contraband out to her bright-eyed genin to stick in their packs and carry. They were eleven, after all. Hence the sealing scroll.

"There's a 100 ryo delivery charge," she half-joked, trying not to wince at the idea of the expense she'd sunk into sealing it. That wasn't particularly cheap, and it hadn't been for her benefit.

"Ha, no." Shikamaru stuck his hands in his pockets and slouched, looking upwards like he was praying for strength. "I suppose I should get back to work now."

"Not likely," Aiko deadpanned. She turned a critical eye to her ducklings. "Does anyone need to rest a little longer, or are we ready to set out?"

Her brave trio of genin agreed that they were ready to leave (probably thinking with their stomachs) so she waved absentmindedly to Shikamaru and a woman she didn't know who yanked the scroll out of his hands and began to unfurl it before they had even set off.

________________________________________

The sun was cruel and yellow like the eye of a snake, sending punishing lashes down on her deceptively frail shoulders even through the material of her kimono. Temari flushed with heat, eyes darting back and forth between the two males arguing. She considered cutting in, but her newfound bravery around Gaara only went so far. It wasn't like he wanted anything ridiculous, after all. Better let him deal with it.

While all three of the siblings had been promoted to Chuunin after the far-too-eventful exams in Konoha (mostly because Gaara had informed the Council that they had been promoted and left without another word while they sputtered), they had been sent on very few missions as a team. This was in large part because the triumvirate of Sand elders jockeying for power and position placed very little trust in Gaara. She suspected that this mission was largely a trust exercise. Someone was sticking out their neck to demonstrate that the demon container could be controlled for the first time in his life and sent on a mundane mission. If they were wrong, there would doubtlessly be hell to pay. If Gaara snapped in Konoha and so much as stepped on a housewife's toes, Suna could very well be manhandled into even more painful settlements and treaties.

Of course, it was also possible that Gaara had delivered one of his once-frequent threats in order to finagle a rather extended trip to Konoha because he wanted to see his friend. Either way, it mattered little to Temari. Regardless of why, she was taking him back to the place that had changed his mind about defining himself in opposition to every other living being. Temari thought it was a bit of a hellhole- unpleasantly damp, full of loud and obnoxiously dressed weirdoes, and definitely more than a little bit hostile to Suna nin lately- but she was going to have to go and make nice with the Hokage regardless.

It still seemed strange to her that one fight could have altered her baby brother so much. It was almost a shame that she had been cowering behind a copse of trees for most of it and missed whatever the hell Uzumaki Naruto had said to convince Gaara to change his entire philosophy of life. Sometimes she woke up in the morning, saw the sand on her bedroom floor that indicated Gaara had checked on her during the night, and suffered a panic attack that constricted her throat and made it impossible for her to breathe before she remembered that he no longer wanted to hurt her. The absence of the threat almost weighed more heavily on her mind than the ever-present danger had for years.

They set off for the Land of Fire without words. Kankuro was not with them for this mission, a fact that would have worried her far more if she didn't know that he would be safely ensconced in his workroom while they were gone.

This mission was important, of course, but Temari, who had been trained in niceties since she was old enough to toddle, was really the only one being sent as a diplomat. Gaara had definitely not had many of those lessons, a fact which she had awkwardly tried to remedy in the past week when she heard he would be coming with her. With Gaara included on the team, she needed no other escort. It would have been too threatening to send another member at this delicate stage of negotiations. Besides, Sand had been so weakened by the failed invasion and Orochimaru's misuse of their forces that even the removal of a single talented Chuunin from the village could mean the difference between an adequate response force within the village walls in case of an emergency and being totally overrun.

That was probably why Councilman Shu had been arguing with Gaara about going, she idly noted. Despite being frightened of Gaara, all in Sand respected his strength.

She let him set the pace. It was no skin off her back if Gaara wanted to travel at insane speeds. Kankuro wouldn't have been able to keep up. Temari herself was misusing wind jutsu in order to travel on top of her fan while her red-headed brother sprinted like a man possessed. He didn't do things by halves, Gaara.

Of course, he didn't sweat either, she pouted when they reached the oasis where they habitually stopped to refill their water skins. It was unfair. The barrier of sand that protected his skin from even fatal glows also seemed to keep Gaara's porcelain skin safe from wind and sun burn. She wasn't utilizing the air-based jutsu that kept the hot air off her skin with a cushion of artificially cooled air—it was stupidly difficult to maintain while flying at high speeds, and the gusts she experienced on top of her fan kept her from getting too hot.

They didn't save her from minor sunburn, however, so she took a moment to withdraw her little blue pot of lotion and rub it onto her cheeks and the back of her neck while they stopped. Gaara's nose flared as if the scent bothered him, but he gave no comment.  
________________________________________

Is it just me, or does this chapter have a completely different feel from last chapter? Possibly it's the sleep deprivation. In any case, I start classes again on the 21st, so updates will almost certainly slow down. I suppose it will depend on my class load and how much interest there seems to be, hint hint. :) If no one cares much, it may drop down to every other week or worse.

As always, I'm finishing this at about four am and haven't had anyone read it over, so I may have missed a few typos. If there's anything particularly mortifying, I'd appreciate a heads up. Detail-oriented readers may notice that I had an attack of crazy in my last few chapters and kept stating that Aiko was fourteen when she is in fact thirteen. No, that year didn't go anywhere, and no, she didn't time travel back to being thirteen. I was just confused. I do that sometimes.


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

"He's not in the village," Tsunade deadpanned, stamping a form with more force than necessary. Her desk shuddered. Shizune slipped the paperwork out from her reach, tucking it into a manila folder and holding it to her chest. She gave her Hokage an admonishing look. Tsunade rolled her eyes and scrabbled around in her top drawer for an envelope. She labeled it in the same imperious, elegant handwriting that graced the invitation that Temari clutched awkwardly with clammy fingers. The office building was cold, damnit.

Gaara seemed momentarily speechless, staring blankly out the window behind the busty woman growling about the indignity about being strong-armed into mundane paperwork in front of snot-nosed diplomats when she was supposed to be impressing them.

Temari rather thought that not referring to her as "snot-nosed" to her face would have done more for her opinion of the woman than whether or not she was doing paperwork.

That didn't mean she was going to say anything about being offended, however. She wasn't stupid. The village she headed may have been full of sissies, but the Slug Sannin herself was rather famously ill-tempered and punch-happy.

At her side, Gaara gave a slight frown. Temari felt a little sorry for him—he must have been eager to see his friend again if he'd actually made the effort to get onto the mission roster. He'd never had a friend before, so this disappointment would be a new one. She steeled herself for a moment before reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. He turned to blink at her, gaze flicking down to her hand, posture relaxing oh-so-slightly.

Tsunade looked up irritably, pushing herself to a standing position and striding to the door. "Well, come on then, girl. I haven't got all day."

Shizune flushed a pretty pink, carefully not looking at the foreign guests lingering in the office doorway. "Please, this way please, Temari-san." She bustled down the hall towards a small conference room, then glance back uncertainly. "Will, um, Gaara-san be joining us?"

Surprised, Temari had to disguise her laugh as a cough. "Not if we're still hoping to negotiate peace," she deadpanned. Gaara didn't react. There was some truth to that statement. He had made significant improvement on social interaction in the months since he had re-examined his life. But negotiations were more suited to someone with more practice and a more nuanced understanding of rules like 'Don't kill someone who has something you want,' 'People don't like being reminded of their imminent mortality,' and 'Please don't smile like that, it frightens everyone.' (He had compromised by not smiling at all, which was still a bit unnerving.)

"Well…" Shizune cleared her throat. "Then feel free to explore Konoha, Gaara-san."

"Just meet me at the apartment for dinner?" Temari offered, knowing that he'd do what he felt like. He seemed to shrug. Then he was gone in a wisp of sand.

The obviously civilian receptionist gave a small curse, clutching at her chest. Temari wondered at that- she had never seen anyone below Chuunin in a similar job back home. Konoha was strange.

One newly-promoted Sand Chuunin, even the daughter of a Kazekage, was hilariously outgunned in the company of a Hokage and her two apprentices. So of course, the room was also populated by two hulking ANBU operatives. Seriously, Konoha must have found goons that big with a specially placed ad. Temari felt her plastered smile falter and did her best not to look too skeptical of the ice gently rotating in the clear pitcher of water in the center of the table. Logically, she knew that if they wanted her dead, they wouldn't poison her. That didn't help much when she knew that she had been the only delegate sent so that Sand could cut their losses if the Leaf decided that the damage they had caused outweighed whatever benefits an alliance would give them. She was technically qualified for this mission, but if the elders had possessed much faith in it, they would have come themselves.

'Then again,' Temari remembered with a sideways smile that seemed to offend the pretty-boy sitting across the table, 'the elders really hate Leaf from the last war still. They may not want this alliance to work out.' If she could make that happen, it would be a resounding victory for whatever side she threw her support behind. She wasn't formidable enough to make a bid for her father's hat herself just yet, but she knew damn well that her words carried weight.

________________________________________

"It was nice to meet you." Aiko gave a short bow to Ken's mother, a voluptuous woman with a pixie cut and heavily scarred hands. The door shut on her face after they exchanged a few niceties- thank you for taking care of my boy, thank you for the tea, so on and so forth. As soon as the door was closed, she took the opportunity to discreetly adjust that damned vest she was wearing. It was uncomfortable and unflattering. She wasn't entirely sure she liked it, even if it did signal that she wasn't a child.

After they had gone out on their second run to the closest outpost, they had been mildly surprised to receive orders to run messages to the next two outposts. From what she understood, people were being pulled home and border security finally relaxed from emergency status. Understandably, people had been happy to see her team. Her team had been less happy about spending an extra six nights in the wild, although there was enough space for them to take up beds at the last outpost for a night. There had been a throw-down fight over first rights to the showers. Aiko had laughed herself sick when they finally figured out that the water was all cold—the luxurious of home were hard to get in a forest.

By the time they returned to the village, the genin were finally comfortable enough with her to get a bit sassy. Before, they had been nearly silent in her presence. They must have been closer in the Academy than most of her classmates had been, because they had tons of inside jokes that they seemed to find absolutely hilarious. She'd been a bit bemused when they gradually became comfortable enough to have conversations around her, but generally just stayed silent and learned about them.

It turned out that Ken was a third-generation nin whose grandparents had come from Sand. They'd immediately changed their last name to something more suitable for Fire Country, but the boy bemoaned that his grandmother refused to adjust her way of speaking and actually artificially emphasized her accent to show that she wasn't ashamed of her girlhood home. It came up because Ken ended up translating whatever she said to his friends when they came over. Occasionally, he slipped and used terminology or slang that he'd picked up from her, and the girls liked to tease him about it.

Akira had reminded Aiko of Ino, but it soon became clear that the resemblance was only a superficial one—they were both snappy dressers and moved with confidence. Akira was actually very mature, and thought that her peers should be as well. Naruto might have liked her—she loved animals as much as he did. For her, that manifested in learning about them instead of catching and snuggling them as it did in Naruto (bless his heart). She could list the technical names and dietary habits of just about every creature native to Fire Country and kept a scrapbook of photos. To serve that end, she kept a camera with her at all times, lovingly wrapped up in a waterproof leather pouch. Her family must have a lot of means—such a thing was not cheap.

The student that Aiko had most misjudged was the last one. Emiko had seemed sweet and shy and dressed as bashfully as Hinata. Apparently, her daddy was a single father and wanted a little princess. The girlish wardrobe was his doing, not hers. Additionally, it soon became clear that her mind was sharp and her tongue even sharper. Her peers hadn't caught on yet, but every third bashful statement was in fact a veiled insult at their expense. She tried not to laugh too hard and instead made comments about Emiko's excellent vocabulary.

The last of her genin returned safely to their homes and mission report firmly in hand, Aiko was slightly travel worn and thirsty. She was also surprised to spot the boy who would be Kazekage looking a bit lost in front of Hokage tower, watching passers-by with an intensity that made several of them hustle. Shamefully, some of them were even ninja.

It was pretty funny, she admitted to herself. He wasn't even letting off killing intent. Maybe it was the month-old blood stains on his clothing that put them off. Or the dead-eyed stare. Or the fact that he had a Sand headband and appeared to be roaming unsupervised (she knew better. Tsunade would have ANBU tailing him).

For the first time, she realized that she knew very little about what happened to Gaara in the time between the Chuunin exams and his abduction by Akatsuki. Was he already the man who measured his words and hoped for peace? Did he still slip into madness? Or was he somewhere in between, in an amorphous state of becoming a man when he had been a monster instead of a boy?

'Only one way to find out,' she decided impulsively. It was a selfish decision to satisfy her curiosity, but a small one.

It was also possibly stupid. She held no grudge against him at all for attempting to kill her, especially since she didn't think it had been his fault. He wasn't responsible for Shukaku, or for her misusing what she knew about Naruto's nature. She had made the conscious decision to leap into the fray so that Naruto would find the strength to draw on the Nine-Tails and stop him, after all.

But she could hardly tell anyone else that she wasn't mad at him at all because she had just been using him to injure her, not least so because the Nine-Tails was kind of a taboo topic. Anyone with sense would probably be alarmed to see her spending time with him amiably.

Ah, to hell with it. She didn't care what anyone else thought.

Aiko idly crumpled her report and shoved it into a pocket, not minding the ugly way it bulged. She could take care of it later or something. 'The real question is how to approach him.' She was careful not to look at him too long and draw attention prematurely. Should she observe him from a distance? That could be dangerous- no ninja liked sneaky followers. Then again, he probably wasn't socially competent enough to have a regular conversation.

Then she rolled her eyes. 'What am I saying? If Naruto got through to him, being blunt and straight forward is my best shot.'  
Aiko used shunshin to position herself at his side, already ready with a beaming smile and a raised hand when he turned slightly to look at her. "What's up, cutie-san? I haven't seen you in a while. How have you been?"

He really was adorable when he gave her that mildly concussed stare, she noted. It was almost hard to believe that no one had ever flirted with him before. He kinda looked like a punk rocker, with the spiky hair and dark circles around his eyes. Granted, the fact that they weren't paint was a little off-putting when she really thought about it…

"You…" His eyes narrowed. "I remember you from the fight after the tournament. You are one of Naruto-san's teammates."

She huffed a surprised little laugh. "Uh, no," Aiko admitted, watching him carefully out of the edge of her vision while she channeled Naruto's sheepish head-scratch. "He's my otouto. I'm not really on his team, though." Apparently he didn't remember her from the tower… or that Naruto's team had lost their third member. Temari had known that and hinted at it to Ino—she'd raged about it later when she put it together—so Gaara must just not have paid any attention at all.

Somehow that didn't surprise her. When she'd last seen him, he didn't seem like a guy who spent a lot of time being interested in others' lives. It just wouldn't be compatible with a mindset that viewed killing everyone else as a good idea.

"So… you are one of his precious people?" Gaara examined her with unnerving intensity. If she hadn't intentionally manipulated what she knew of him to make him more amenable to her presence, Aiko might have been uncomfortable.

Instead, she pretended not to sense the awkward atmosphere at all. "Of course, and he's one of mine. Are you looking for something or someone?"

"No."

'Okay…' Aiko chewed on her bottom lip. It was awkward being the socially adept one in a conversation for once. He wasn't giving her much to go on, that was for sure. 'Well, fuck it. When in doubt, feed the boy.' It worked on such variant subjects as Naruto and Sasuke. Why the hell not on Gaara?

"Well then, let's go get smoothies. I just got back in town and I am parched." She telegraphed the motions obviously when she reached out to snag his hand and drag him along with her. The move was a risky but calculated one. Gaara might react violently to being touched, or he could view it as evidence that she wasn't treating him differently because of his demonic burden. Or he could just be confused by the presumption.

Luckily for her, the only sand she felt was the grainy barrier around his fingers like armor. The unnatural temperature made her grimace—touching what appeared to be a hand without body heat made her think of corpses.

"Your hands are cold," she complained good-naturedly, channeling her second favorite blonde now. Ino was a goddamn champion of herding around reluctant boys.

When he stiffened, she tightened her grip in apology. 'Right. The boy is sensitive', she noted. Then she mentally amended, dropping his hand to open the door to a café, 'More likely he isn't socially adept enough to know what to say. He's probably uncomfortable.' That wasn't the only possible hypothesis, but it was the one that best explained why he was susceptible to Naruto's particular brand of philosophy. Doubtless Naruto had never even noticed the bodily and verbal cues that indicated Gaara's mood and had barreled right over them. Gaara might like feeling normal—a feeling that could only be inspired by meeting another jinchuuriki who socialized much more healthily and gave him the realization that he could have friends and family like anyone else. She could take advantage of that desire by treating him as if he was anyone else, she concluded.

Lucky that had been her plan in the first place.

Granted, in treating him as if he were anyone else, she actually had to make exceptions. If she had met a random stranger who stared the way he did, was clearly uncomfortable, and spoke in near monosyllables if at all, she would have decided that the conversation wasn't worth the effort and disengaged. It was a bit like calmly holding a conversation with Gai—you pretended that the shouting was completely normal and parsed through the flowery language to get at the meaning and responded to only that. With Gaara, you pretended his reticence wasn't a faux-pas and drew meaning from what little he said and the volumes he didn't say.

It was an art form, she decided while pointedly not coaxing him to eat the peach and mango smoothie she set in front of him. She wouldn't acknowledge that he didn't know what to do with it or that he seemed to think it might be poisoned. When she picked up her spoon and began to eat in between absently maintaining a conversation about her ducklings, she noticed with some triumph that he focused a laser-like gaze on her hand for a few minutes before he picked up his own spoon and flawlessly imitated her.

She would have been confused if not for the fact that she had never seen a single spoon in Suna, only chopsticks. It just wasn't a cultural norm. Soup was eaten from a tilted bowl, and cold treats like ice cream just weren't likely to happen there.

After a while, when it became clear that he at least wasn't ignoring her talk about her team—both her duckling and team seven—she tried to get him to contribute to the conversation. Of course, that was tricky. He didn't have friends to tell stories about, and doubtlessly he was getting to know his siblings for the first time in his life. So she didn't dig too deeply.

"Is your team here too?"

That appeared to be a question he couldn't answer with either a nod or a blank stare, so she counted it as a success.   
Granted, "Kankuro did not come," wasn't going to be winning any prizes for eloquence, but it was enough that she considered it contribution to dialogue.

"Did you want to see any of the sights while you're in town?" she asked lightly. "There's a big merchant caravan that moved in about a week ago. They're only going to be here for another week. It's actually pretty cool. And one of the Academy classes is putting on a traditional dance performance as part of their infiltration final."

That had made her laugh until she was sick again. If her teacher had tried to do that, she would have caused him serious bodily harm. The dance and other similar classes were often taught by civilian experts so that they could be sure what they were teaching was both current and accurate. It wouldn't do to pass down ninja interpretations of civilian dance and ignore that things changed. They were often likely to consider public performance a necessary part of proving students had mastered the material- a faux geisha who was crowd shy would fool no one. Regardless of how intelligent the idea actually was, the students would probably hate it. She was pretty sure that the grumpy faces would be the best part of the performance.

Gaara looked at her as if she'd suggested they go streaking after they finished their treats.

"Or the water is really nice at the mixed onsen," she changed tracks, lips twitching with amusement. "I like to get a good book and soak for hours. I bet you don't spend much time relaxing in water in Suna."

"I do not," he reluctantly agreed. And that was all he said. The door to the café banged open, bells chiming irritably and roughly a half second later Aiko was blinking up at Inuzuka Kiba. It would have been a more pleasant surprise if he (and Akamaru perched on his head) hadn't been growling at Gaara, lips curled aggressively.

Aiko groaned, covering her face with her hands. And things had been going so well, too. Kiba was going to put Gaara back on edge after she'd finally coaxed him into relaxing slightly.

"What are you doing here?" Kiba placed both hands on the table and leaned forward into Gaara's personal space.

The redhead didn't take it well, trickles of sand beginning to agitate. His face remained blank, but he crossed his arms. It was somehow intimidating, even though he had to put down his ice cream first to make the motion.

"Whoa, boys," Aiko interrupted, placing a palm up. "Calm down. Kiba, it's nice to see you. It'd be nicer if you sat down instead of glared at us from up there." She scooted over and patted the bench next to her. Kiba's attention drifted to her, and a strange look crossed his face for a moment. Then it passed.

"I don't want to sit with him!" Kiba practically yelled, pointing at Gaara.

The other boy stood. Aiko noted absently that his full height was at least four inches below Kiba's. Of course, they were finally at the age where boys hit their growth spurts, so maybe Gaara just hadn't had his yet. Chakra swelled, and then Gaara was gone. Aiko blinked at the space where he'd been for a moment, not quite registering what had happened. Then she felt that damn twitch in her right eye and forcibly relaxed her face. Aiko wasn't entirely sure when she had developed a nervous twitch, but she was trying to catch it when it happened.

'It's fine.' She took a deep breath, pushing her ice cream away. 'Kiba didn't know any better. If I saw a peer sitting closely to someone who had tried to kill them the last time they'd met, I might demonstrate alarm as well.' Really, his concern for a peer who was a near-stranger should be used as evidence for the claim that Kiba was a good guy.

So instead of expressing her irritation with him—he'd ruined her information gathering session—she merely said, "Hello again, Kiba."

And then the weirdo blushed.

________________________________________

It turned out that Konoha wanted powerful allies slightly more than they wanted revenge. Temari had to swallow her pride, because at the moment Suna couldn't be a powerful ally to anyone, and agree to accept several personnel on a short-term basis to fill out their ranks and help them take all their mission requests. Nothing urgent or information sensitive, of course, but several administrators to help the hospital run more smoothly and free up medic nin for missions would be provided as well as a few lower class missions that would be sub-contracted out to Konoha.

That was a bitter remedy to have to accept—they desperately needed the money those missions could provide, but they couldn't fulfill them on their own. Konoha would be pocketing the money from those missions, of course, but this way they wouldn't end up failing to meet the terms of their arrangement with the Wind Daimyo by failing to accept all the missions from his people.

Because the Hokage was a medic, part of her terms had been sample specimen of a few plants and poisonous desert animals that Temari was vaguely aware Kankuro used in his poison compounds.

The elders would be infuriated—the move would cement their alliance by making it much more difficult for Sand to ever turn on Konoha. Their monopoly on many rare and deadly ingredients had been one of the things keeping them from being crushed under the heel of bigger villages. Without samples, it was almost impossible for remedies to be made for Suna poison.

But Temari had seen no other option. If she had rejected the offer, Konoha could have come in and crushed them and taken the damn plants anyways. It would be a pyrrhic victory—Sand was too inhospitable and entrenched for them to lose without taking out massive casualties, the only reason Konoha hadn't marched on them the day after that failed invasion. There was almost no chance that Konoha would lose, but they would be severely weakened afterwards and easy prey for other villages.

That knowledge was the only reason Temari knew she could negotiate from a position of strength as well, although her counterparts had clearly been hoping she was unaware of that nuance. It was possible for her to push Konoha into being obligated to start a war with Suna, but that was an unpleasant prospect for both sides. So she used that little leverage on issues that she found were important—like having Konoha maintain higher levels of border security so that Sand didn't have to. It was both a show of trust and so that Sand could free up experienced nin.

When she'd made that suggestion, the lady Tsunade's lips had twitched in amusement for the first time, and Temari thought she recognized a fellow predator. The Hokage had been raised to be politically astute due to her relation to a Kage as well. Very few ninja were—it was something that their civilian counterparts had mastered, but when villages were often led by those with the most physical power, well… often they were more likely to use their muscles than their brains.

Whatever the reason, Tsunade had accepted the proposal and several others. Temari knew damn well that the elders would be apoplectic with rage, but she wasn't going to support any one of them for Kazekage. They would find that out soon enough.

She had a different candidate in mind. Gaara had latched onto Uzumaki Naruto's goals with a one-minded focus, and was already a completely different person than he had been half a year ago. Having a direction was doing him good. Besides, he was really the only person in their village with the power to really lay claim to the title.

He wasn't ready yet, of course. But once she could be sure that he really had changed- she did owe that much to the citizens of Suna- and that his image was changing as well, she would speak to him about it.

Temari pushed the door open and flopped down on the couch of the luxurious, air conditioned suite she had been assigned as a diplomat, idly calling out for her brother. She didn't really expect him to be there or to walk into the room.

It was even less expected that he would be the first to speak. Granted, it was Gaara, so it wasn't an impressive start.  
"You look well."

Temari blinked up at the ceiling, then tilted her head to make sure everything was in place. "Um, thank you," she said a bit dumbly. Then she cleared her throat. "The meeting went well," she informed, knowing that if she wanted to make him Kazekage he had to have some interest in goings-on like this. "Looks like we're allies for sure now. Did you do anything interesting?"

The last question was more for form's sake than anything else. It was Gaara- he never did anything interesting. He probably stared at the sun for a few hours, or people-watched, or just thought about the complexities of life. In fact, he probably-

"I had ice cream with a girl."

Temari sat up so fast she gave herself whiplash. That required some contextualization.

"Whuh… what happened?" she said weakly. Gaara with a girl? It almost had to be a misunderstanding. That didn't make sense.

"A boy showed up and was clearly agitated with my presence, so I left" Gaara monotoned. Temari was so baffled that she wanted to cry. That… that certainly sounded like he'd somehow gotten involved in a love triangle, or at least stepped on someone's toes by flirting with their girl. But that was the least Gaara-like thing she'd ever heard of. How on earth did he end up spending time socially with a girl? She'd never even been on a date—did that mean her youngest brother had been the first in their family to get a date? 'At least choosing to leave is a definite improvement over how he would have dealt with that a while ago,' some part of her brain noted. That was downright mature, actually.

Suddenly, the triumphs she'd made in the last day were less important than the fact that there was somebody out there Gaara had an interest in. Temari swallowed, hard. What monstrous kind of girl would Gaara find interesting?

________________________________________

"What," Jiraiya said flatly, unintentionally releasing a bit of killing intent. The dark haired man he'd been talking to stiffened reflexively, fingers twitching as if he wanted to reach for a weapon. He was intelligent enough not to, however.

It had apparently been a bad intelligence report to bring Naruto on, some distant part of his mind noted. Part of the stipulation for training Naruto had been giving him the chance to learn the trade and gain some of his own contacts. Jiraiya couldn't do it alone forever, after all. He'd thought that Naruto was ready to at least start sitting in on these meetings.

'Luckily, he's too clueless to realize who we're talking about,' the sannin noted with black humor.

The man who had claimed to be Akira (almost certainly a code name, even Naruto knew) carefully restated his last sentence. The one where he'd mentioned Rock had quietly put out a sizable bounty on a Konoha kunoichi using chakra chains, despite the fact that the countries weren't at war and she hadn't apparently done anything particularly offensive yet. It wasn't exactly politically appropriate, but the Rock had hated Aiko's parents enough that little things like that didn't stop them from wanting her dead before she hit her prime.

Aiko hadn't been named, of course. Akira probably hadn't thought the name important enough to mention when he had a copy of the bounty to hand over with all the pertinent information. Jiraiya snatched it up impatiently and examined the information, not sure if he was pleased or depressed to see that Uzumaki Aiko had been tentatively assessed as a B-rank shinobi with at least one A-rank skill. He'd never seen her in action, but she had two years more of field experience than his Uzumaki. It shouldn't be too surprising that she was stronger than her brother. If this was true, she was strong but not nearly strong enough to protect herself from the type of monsters who would be willing to take on a bounty like that.

He took a moment to hope like hell that Kakashi was keeping an eye on the kid. Hatake and Tsunade were the only two people other than himself that he'd trust to keep her out of that kind of trouble, and Tsunade was a bit busy adjusting to her new hat.  
'Maybe this is what Itachi knew about?' Jiraiya hypothesized. But that didn't quite make sense either. Why would Itachi view Uzumaki chakra as a threat or worthy of notice? And it seemed impossible that Itachi could have known about Aiko's apparent ability before Jiraiya did (although he wouldn't have been surprised in the slightest if he'd beat Rock to the clue party, even with the stigma of being a genocidal missing nin. Rock couldn't find their asses with both hands, generally speaking).

Surely he would have been told if the girl had managed to master chakra chains before he had taken Naruto. Wouldn't Naruto know?

He cast a glance to his student and suppressed a groan. For once, the brat was paying attention, knuckles clenched tightly and lips pressed into a hard expression. 'So maybe he does know what chakra chains are,' Jiraiya concluded heavily. Naruto might not know it, but any veteran of the last war would know to associate chakra chains with both the Uzumaki clan in general and Kushina in particular.


	26. Chapter 26

The toad fidgeted a little, directing big pleading eyes up at the dark-haired child in the room. Children often carried candy, right? And they were susceptible to emotional manipulation and cute things. And Gamatsu was adorable.

Sasuke glowered, wishing that old hag would just hurry up and finish reading. He swore that thing was staring at him. Whatever was going on must be important. When he had reluctantly brought the foul thing to the tower, she had been in a meeting of some sort with an ANBU operative and the Nara clan head (a group that was assembled surprisingly often). He'd caught the end of a sentence when he'd come to the door. Oddly enough, it seemed to be about how clan heads were unsuitable for something or another.

Possibly the Nara clan head was as lazy as his son and avoiding another responsibility, Sasuke thought. Or perhaps he'd misheard.

In any case, when she'd seen the toad, the Hokage had groaned and ushered both men out of her office with instructions to keep on doing what they had been doing.

He wasn't entirely out of the information loop—he knew that toads were the summon clan tied to Naruto's teacher. They appeared in the Hokage's office (or in the case with this one, accidentally got lost somewhere in Konoha and had to be escorted there) from time to time with messages of some sort. But usually, Tsunade didn't spend so long in her 'thinking' pose afterward. He liked to sass his shishou occasionally, but he knew better than to make a sound when she had her eyes closed, and forehead pinned between her thumb and forefinger.

Shizune nudged his shoulder companionably, winking and spelling out 'katana tonight' with her free hand. He tried not to smirk—weapons training with Shizune was probably the best part of his week, and he would rather do it more than twice every seven days or so when she wasn't too busy. It seemed strange when he consciously realized that sweet, gentle Shizune had qualified for ANBU work and had of course mastered their trademark blade, but that didn't make it any less true. Or useful. Itachi had mastered the blade as well, after all.

'Yes,' he signed back, keeping his hand obscured from Tsunade's perspective. Just in case she looked up. The Hokage was a grumpy old hag sometimes.

"Shizune, I need a drink."

Other times, she was a grumpy old drunk.

His senpai scowled gently, putting hands to hips and tilting them confrontationally. "Shishou! You're still working for at least another hour. Can't you wait?"

Tsunade gave him a pleading expression. "You there. My cute apprentice." (Shizune gasped, faux-hurt). "Be a good student and get your poor, suffering mentor something hard to drink." She nearly welled up with tears. "I have to break bad news to your former sensei, that unkempt lunatic."

Instantly Sasuke understood her position. Kakashi could be a bit difficult. Assuming the ten minute to four hour wait didn't already have you murderous, his unique brand of charm could inspire that feeling almost instantly if he felt like you needed to be punished passive aggressively. "I'll find something," he promised, turning away and leaving the office at a jog. If he hurried, he could come and go before Kakashi came around. He hated getting caught between his two mentors. Tsunade was his mentor now, but Kakashi had been a decent teacher to him and there was still the possibility Sasuke might need him in future.  
Shizune took the paper Tsunade had discarded and began reading. She did her best not to giggle, she really did. "That's lovely, but I'm not sure why it's relevant to Hatake-san," she gasped.

"Not that part!" Tsunade snapped, flushing red. "The last part. I'm guessing this letter was written over a few days and the last part is very recent."

A few minutes later, Shizune's expression shifted, levity gone. "Oh dear." She sucked in a long breath and unintentionally held it, expelling deeply when she'd finished. "Well… Good luck, shishou." She began to back away. "I'm late for a shift at the hospital."

No way was she going to be caught up in one of their bizarre power plays. For a guy who didn't want to be Hokage, Hatake-san sure challenged Tsunade-sama's authority an awful lot. Granted, to Shizune's knowledge he only openly defied Tsunade the once over her hare-brained idea to make a thirteen year old a Jounin before she'd led a single mission as a Chuunin. (Shizune hadn't been fond of the idea either, no matter how 'safe' the posting Tsunade wanted her to fill would supposedly be or how badly the numbers needed to be filled.)

There was no way that he didn't know just how much it pissed her off to have to wait hours to give mission briefings. Hatake-san provoked her mentor on purpose.

But she couldn't really do much to him. How does one discipline a man who has practically no ambitions? Anything that would interfere with his combat efficiency was out—he was currently uncontested as the most powerful shinobi in her active forces, so demoting him or locking him up would be harming her own efforts to make Konoha seem powerful after the recent power imbalances. That was the same reason she didn't send him out on extended missions—it was a delicate balance between taking advantage of his skills and making sure that the other countries knew that the Copy Nin could be in Fire Country at any given point in time. It grated, but she knew that his reputation was one of the things keeping the wolves at bay.

In a practical sense, any four of her Jounin were probably more useful in a large fight than the Copy Nin. He wasn't an army by himself, and could be overcome. But a large part of what maintained the tenuous balance between the great powers was the fear of big names and their potential. Reputation was everything, and people tended to think of powerful shinobi opponents in terms of "Do we have anyone who could beat them", instead of the more logical, "What would we have to do in order to kill this troublesome person, whether that means sacrificing a few high-level shinobi or outsmarting them". The ninja world was sometimes a silly place like that.

If the real aim of jutsu development, for example, was the ability to aid warfare in traditional ninja fashion, the field would probably have been discarded. An assassination could be done silently, quickly, and from almost any distance without the tell-tale flare of chakra to alert any guards with simple weaponry.

No… the jutsu arms race was a dick-measuring contest. Shizune pulled up her schedule for the day, relieved to see that she had a surgery coming up soon. Having something to concentrate on would help her relax.

Shizune had never tried to join in on the rush for reputation like her shishou and her teammates had. She used the same summons as her mentor, but her name wasn't internationally feared. Konoha needed heroes like Tsunade, Kakashi, and the Red Chained Death… but not all of Konoha's heroes could be big names. Being a big name made a shinobi into a big target.

Unfortunately, it looked like that was happening too early to Aiko-chan. It wasn't exactly shocking. Tsunade had known what she was doing when she asked Hatake-san to see if the girl could use the legendary chakra chains. But it was a little depressing to know that she didn't have the opportunity to become a truly exceptional ninja before she had a reputation. It would be one thing if she'd gained that reputation by doing something truly monstrous like the Sannin's legendary battle against Hanzo the Salamander—a reputation that was already tested didn't draw nearly as many fortune hunters as a reputation for a rare and powerful bloodline ability. Her youth would work against her (no matter what Gai thought on that matter). Children did seem like easier targets.

In the administration building, Tsunade was bracing herself for another temper tantrum, knowing full well that the stupidly blank expression could be hiding any number of ridiculous thoughts that somehow cycled around to place blame on her shoulders. She hadn't quite forgotten the last argument yet. Her nerves were taut, and she was ready with any number of cutting rejoinders about where exactly the blame for this situation should rest.

"Ah. Is that all?"

She stared, dumbfounded. "You're not bothered in the least."

Hatake shrugged, looking perfectly at ease. "I didn't teach her an A class ability with the blindly optimistic idea that she would never use it," he said mildly. "I believe that use in combat is in fact the purpose of learning jutsu. It's where I tend to use my deadly jutsu. It was unfortunate that she used it in front of Rock nin, but no one has ever told her why that was a bad idea." He gave her a rather pointed look. "Seeing as how those much older and wiser than me have concluded it's too dangerous for the twins to know the truth, I thought that you had already taken those incredibly obvious concerns into consideration."

"Right," she said weakly. Tsunade a made a fist and thumped lightly at her chest, coughing slightly to clear her voice. "Well. Yes, that's all. Take the letter with you, Naruto wrote notes for you and Aiko. I took Sasuke's out already." She frowned. "At least, I assumed he's the 'bastard' in question that it's addressed to."

"Good call." He eye-smiled and stuffed the papers into his book before giving her a sloppy salute and shunshin-ing away. She didn't see the way that his jaw clenched or that carefully deliberate way he slouched against a tree to read the missive for himself.

When she was alone, Tsunade took the opportunity to gently bang her head against the deck. Just once- she didn't indulge in this often, but it felt appropriate right now. In retrospect, it seemed obvious that children didn't know to act on knowledge they had been forbidden from having.

'Maybe it's time to rescind that order. Aiko should know why she's being hunted, and Naruto is with the one person who knew Minato best of all.' Tsunade sighed, feeling old and tired. 'I'm sure the pervert would love to talk about the good old days.' She was awfully advanced in youth (thank you, Gai) to be adjusting to the role of a Hokage. Really, she wasn't that much younger than the Sandaime had been the first time he retired. Thinking about setting up the future generations for success was an overwhelming task. The brats that Jiraiya's brat had spawned were all grown up for Kami's sake. She'd found herself a couple of successors (and that Uchiha brat had been a better find than she'd anticipated, with equal measures of grit and talent) and Jiraiya had found another one.

She was a little uneasy about that—it would kill the man to lose another student. And besides, if anything happened to this one and Jiraiya never got to train another student, whoever picked up the contract would be starting over from scratch. But she couldn't do much about that- Jiraiya didn't really take her orders and she didn't want to cause him the pain of letting yet another vulnerable student into his heart. Naruto just had to be the student Jiraiya could rest his hopes on.

Her line of thoughts turned to her other teammate (and no matter how many years had passed, on some level she still thought of him as her teammate). He had just the one surviving student in the village… How old was Anko, anyway? Hell, she had to be in her early twenties. That was old enough to take on a student, wasn't it?

Tsunade sighed, pushing herself up from her desk. It had been a long day, and she had another meeting with that pointy-headed brat from Sand tomorrow- the third day in a row. She'd hoped to have that over quickly, but now there was more information to share. Jiraiya thought it was important that everyone know that the jinchuuriki were being hunted and that he was growing more concerned about Akatsuki. If they were going to be allies, sand should know.

"Be a damn shame if we lost that black-eyed snot nose," she grumbled to herself somewhat sarcastically.

It was almost an insult that the jinchuuriki Sand had attempted to weaponize against them had been sent with the diplomat. Judging by reports of his involvement in the failed invasion, the boy had been brutal. He was dangerous. She wouldn't have tolerated him in the village if not for one person's babbling on the subject- the relentlessly optimistic brat who had returned her to the village. If Naruto had accurately assessed her own personality at a glance and convinced her to return, he might have actually seen something others had missed in the One-Tails' jinchuuriki.

Naruto had done his level best to convince her that the brat was really a good person and should be trusted. Tsunade wasn't entirely convinced, but he hadn't done anything remotely suspicious in the time he'd been in the village.

'In fact', she thought rather sourly, 'He may be the evidence I use for an argument about a bizarre, previously unnoted Uzumaki tendency to assume the best of homicidal maniacs. Worst of all, the lunatics may be right.'

She hadn't been best pleased to hear from ANBU Cat that Uzumaki Aiko had approached the dangerous foreigner of her own volition and then proceeded to physically drag him to a damn ice cream shop while he looked confused. Tsunade didn't know the chit well— all she knew was that the girl seemed competent enough on paper, apparently tugged at long-dormant parental instincts in that damn Hatake brat, and was the object of a hilariously obvious fixation by her own apprentice. (When he referred to just about everyone with mild disrespect except 'Aiko-senpai', she had noticed and laughed over it with Shizune).

Maybe her personal observations of the girl as quiet, reasonably intelligent, and serious had been off. Personally, Tsunade found the idea of pursuing a friendship with a foreigner who had tried to kill you in past to be particularly unintelligent. But she wouldn't deny that Naruto and Aiko's general blockheadedness and lack of social awareness would be a boon if Konoha did tie itself to Suna.

'Really,' she lamented as she got ready to leave for the day, 'It's a damn shame that those two idiots got assigned to Hatake as a sensei. Someone more socially competent might have helped them.' She couldn't help but snort at her next thought and half-wished someone else was around to share it with. 'In the kingdom of the socially blind, the one-eyed man is king.'

Before she left, Tsunade jotted down a note to herself—she'd have Anko brought in for a meeting in the early morning and tell her that she had to find a child to take as a student. Then she stalked out the door, giving a warning glance to the secretary who opened her mouth as if to say something.

She was the Hokage here, damnit. She didn't have to answer to anyone.

A few moments later, she backtracked and asked Keiko to have Anko summoned to her office at her earliest open appointment. Upon further reflection, it made sense to make use of her secretary to set appointments.

________________________________________

"That's the girl?" Temari hissed while their escort stared blankly, trying not to elbow her otouto in her excitement. Gaara looked as placid as ever, only nodding in response. The girl in question was wandering down the street with a produce bag, gazing up at a man with spiky white hair. She appeared to be talking up a storm, and her body language was directed solely to her companion. In contrast, he was slouched and appeared to be barely awake.

She sighed. 'It's that same weirdo I keep running into,' she groused. On one hand, it made some sense. This chick was everywhere she looked. It was like Konoha only had the one Chuunin. The girl had displayed interest in Gaara at the tower, and displayed a distinct lack of survival instincts every time Temari had seen her.

The first time three or so years ago in Suna, she had been infuriated by the smarmy Konoha kunoichi wandering around their streets after curfew as if nothing was wrong. That had been back when Gaara was at his worst and the village was constantly on lock-down. She and Kankuro had both been tense, constantly in fear for their lives.

Less than half a year ago at that Chuunin exam, it had become clear that the other girl was above her level and actually working with the half-naked lunatic running the second exam. She had accordingly found a safer target to poke at- a testy blonde with annoyingly perfect hair.

Temari hadn't seen the redhead again until she showed up leading a group of genin to stop Gaara. She was a bit unclear on exactly what had happened, but the results made it clear that a few genin and one Chuunin had somehow stopped him. Gaara wasn't talking about it and Konoha surely wasn't sharing their intelligence on the matter. It was enough to almost make her regret hanging back from the fight.

So she was wary.

On one hand, this might not be as big of a deal as she had thought. Gaara hadn't seemed to realize that she'd assumed he had taken the other girl on a date.

It was almost a little disappointing. She'd had a thrill of sisterly pride at the idea of her little brother going on his first date (never mind that she hadn't been on one). It might have been a massive boon for her plan to get him the Kazekage robes as well. The biggest stumbling block she would have to navigate was the fact that everyone was terrified of Gaara and thought he was completely alien- inhuman and unrelatable. If he had practice socializing in Konoha, it might expedite things back home.  
On the other hand, it could be dangerous for him to grow close to a foreign kunoichi just when he was learning how to be human. If this girl were the mercenary sort, she could be intending to subvert Gaara to Konoha, or just gain information.  
Either way, she was probably screwed. He had eventually clarified that the girl he had met was Uzumaki Naruto's sister. 'And doesn't that explain so much,' she thought sarcastically. They were a weird bunch. She half-hoped there weren't more. Suna might not survive the alliance.

If Gaara wanted to talk to her because the girl was a connection to Naruto, there was almost no chance she'd be able to convince him not to talk to her anymore. Not that Gaara had ever really listened to her in the first place. At best, he would do what he wanted regardless of her warnings. At worst, he would become irritated with her for attempting to get between him and Naruto. He only had the one friend at the moment, and Gaara was pretty attached already. Seeing how much he had changed in the short months since the Uzumaki boy had talked sense into him, Temari didn't even want to detach her brother from the foreign nin.

However unwise it was, it seemed that Gaara had acquired a second friend for himself.

Since she was such an excellent sister, she had to at least try to scope out the girl. It was her duty as an older sibling.  
________________________________________

"Are you aware that the two Suna ambassadors are following you?" Kakashi asked his apprentice mildly before he left. The girl flushed a little.

"Um, yes," she admitted. "I think that might be my fault. I saw Gaara-san wandering around yesterday."

She frowned slightly, letting the prepared not-quite-a-lie slip out. "I wanted to see what it was that Naruto had spotted in him."  
Kakashi gave a long-suffering sigh and intentionally mussed up her hair. "You shouldn't be so hard to keep alive. Now that you've finally managed the chakra chains, I want you to master them as soon as possible. Preferably in a way that involves no Konoha casualties."

She flushed at the reference to her failure so far to use any less than terrifyingly lethal force with her chains. Until she knew her strength and how to use them to restrain instead of kill, she couldn't be said to have succeeded at her technique. It would be stupid to try to improve the chains before she had mastered them.

"I have someone in mind as a training partner for you. In the meantime, I want you to work on your kenjutsu. Hopefully, you'll have easy opportunities soon."

She nodded obediently, not questioning the rather strange statement or showing surprise when he poofed out of sight. He knew what he was talking about. He always did. But shishou almost never answered questions. Aiko gently touched the handle of the short ANBU style blade she had been practicing with lately as if to make sure it was still there. She had bought it herself with the shop owner's guidance under the vague guiding instructions Kakashi had given her. The weight of it still felt strange to her, even now that she was finally getting used to the heavy Chuunin vest.

The letter he had passed on to her was tucked into her pocket. Oddly enough, her shishou had found her while she was out at the market for fresh fruit and vegetables to hand it over and caution her about what having a bounty on her head meant.  
Frankly, she was surprised. It hadn't seemed like that big of a deal to her—lots of people she knew had bloodlines or other special abilities. She'd only killed one man with it, in that altercation and since. Aiko had seen Anko use senbon to far more deadly effect in past, for the kami's sake.

It was something she could learn to live with. The advice she had been given boiled down to 'don't leave survivors to talk about her abilities.' (Unless she'd done something spectacularly impressive that she wanted to become public knowledge, of course, was the caveat).

As a kunoichi, her life was meant to be dangerous. She would always be running into people who wanted her dead. Anyone she had reason to be worried about losing a fight to either wouldn't be interested in her comparatively small bounty or would be intelligent enough to want to know more about her combat abilities before engaging her. The bounty had a sparse information section with a bare physical description, her name, one special skill and a guess at her overall level gauged from one short encounter. Anyone stupid enough to try to collect on that contract without more information would probably be someone she could defeat out of hand.

She was totally going to find a copy of her bounty and keep it. It was pretty fucking cool, when she really thought about it. God, Karin was going to freak out.  
________________________________________

'Of course shishou was right about my chance to practice swordplay,' Aiko thought the next day with a smile. When she had reported personally to the Hokage's office for her orders (and seen a pouty Anko stomping out) she had found out that her primary mission this time was actually the elimination of a small group of troublemakers that had been reported by a group of merchants when they'd arrived in town.

Apparently three or four people had turned to banditry lately. Granted, there was always someone unintelligent enough to risk crime even when the consequences were likely to be immediate and severe. When civilians were willing to risk banditry so close to a ninja village, it generally meant one of two things. Either the village was regarded as being too weak for them to waste the manpower on a minor problem, or that their targets were minor enough that no one would care about a few fleeced merchants. After all, if they had been intelligent enough to hire shinobi protectors, the bandits wouldn't have bothered. In a way, bandits like those helped keep ninja economies together.

Unfortunately for this particular group of troublemakers, Konoha was not as weak as they were supposed and the people they had robbed had possessed friends with enough money for a C-class mission.

It was barely deserving of that title, being within a few hours travel of the village and with so few low level targets, but every mission with potential for combat had to be rated above D-class. The run to the closest outpost had actually been postponed, but since she had already been on a conveniently low-level team her partners would be her three genin. She had been instructed to guide them through their first combat experience and brush with death but to avoid having them deal it out directly if at all possible—it was too traumatizing. When that happened, it sometimes set young ninja back on their ability to adjust to shinobi life.

Aiko was far too practical to let that happen. Aside from her personal fondness for her first team, she didn't believe in squandering resources.

The genin weren't told of the change in mission directives until they were out of town that afternoon, heading in a slightly different direction. This was apparently standard procedure- Konoha didn't want to send shinobi out on obvious, easily intercepted patterns or give anyone an opportunity to set a trap for an inexperienced team. It would be for the best if no one knew what exactly was going on at any given point in time.

The more she learned about how Tsunade ran the village, the more Aiko was impressed. If being Hokage hadn't been Naruto's dream she might have wanted to see how well she could do at the job herself. It seemed like such a shame she'd never have an opportunity to be the de facto queen of a small country (hey, being 'Queen' sounded much better than 'Kage').

'Maybe in the next life,' she snickered.

Perhaps she was sending the bandits that she easily tracked down by footprints from the scene of the reported robbery to a better life as well. A girl could never know. The universe was full of wonder. She glanced backwards to assess her team before she made a move when they finally found their targets bedded down for the night. 'A bit green-faced, but fine.'

If she had been the slightest bit worried about these men's abilities, she would have killed them all in their sleep. Her reasons for allowing the man on watch to make a dying gargle that brought the other three out of their sleeping rolls were two-fold.  
Firstly, it might be less traumatizing for the kids to be able to think of the people she was about to kill as opponents and villains instead of sleeping victims. In her experience, it was less disturbing to kill in the heat of a fight than by gently letting blood in someone's sleep. It was perhaps silly- it might be kinder to let them feel no fear. But she cared more about the genin than the bandits, to be honest.

The second reason was more practical than kind-hearted. She had been told to practice her sword work, after all. Killing them in their sleep would only have been useful for practicing her Ring-Wraith impersonation, and it wouldn't even be funny since no one else would get the joke. Shame, that.

When the deed was done and Aiko had the knowledge that could only come from experience of just how much force was required to separate a head from the body with a single blade, more than one shaking child vomited. Gently, Aiko pulled down the mask that protected her mouth from bloodspray to rest around her neck and rubbed each of their backs in turn. She murmured soothing nonsense before patting Ken fondly and instructing the three to wait a moment while she finished up. Aiko burnt the corpses effortlessly—she felt more at home on jobs like this than any other. They went back to the hunter and tracker roots of her training under Kakashi.

Chakra sense lit up like radar, she swung her legs in the air from her perch on a rock over the stream where her ducklings were cleaning up and refilling water pouches. She was no Karin, of course, but her range was wide enough that she could feel the flickering of both the outpost and ninja back home.

No one protested when she didn't allow them to bed down for the night, instead heading back to Konoha immediately. There was no point in lingering in the forest when they could make it back to the village before first light.

Aiko was practical, after all.

________________________________________  
Omake

I had more than one idea about how to write the scene when Kakashi finds out that his student already has a bounty. The first one I wrote… well, it ended up a bit silly.

How it could have happened:

"Congratulations Hatake," Anko snickered, holding out a sheaf of paper when she finally found the man hiding from Gai in a bar populated with only really hardened alcoholics either nursing yesterday's hangover or working on today's. That was mostly her fault—the fastest way to flush Hatake out was to ask Gai to find him. The pouty bastard would be found in the quietest, filthiest corner possible. Like a rat. "You're a better teacher than I gave you credit for."

Confused, Kakashi reached out to take the paper. The only sound was the crinkle as he unfolded what appeared to be paper torn out of a book. He stared. Took a breath.

"For fuck's sake!"

Anko immediately began to cackle, stopping suddenly when she realized he was gone.

The woman pouted, irritated that he had taken her copy of Aiko's bounty. She'd thought it was funny—come on, getting a price put on your head was the first sign you'd become truly notorious. Sure, the number was too high for a Chuunin, but it wasn't even a third of the asking price on Hatake's head. It wasn't like he didn't already watch the kid. She'd be fine.

Asuma eyed Anko warily, trying to decide if it was worth asking. He'd just decided it wasn't when she made eye contact.

'Oh hell', he sighed. Before she could reach him, Asuma grabbed his beer and emptied the whole damn thing. It was important to maintain a light buzz around Anko. Plus, she had a bad habit of drinking out of other people's glasses instead of ordering her own. She pouted, but whatever gossip she wanted to share must have been good because she perched on the edge of the bar and shouted at the barkeep for a drink.

"How'd you piss Hatake off in a minute long conversation?" He cut to the chase.

The woman brightened, reaching over to steal a choice morsel out of his salty bar food. "I didn't say anything," she deflected with a patently false pout. "I just found something I thought he'd like to see."

Asuma rolled his eyes, pulling a cigarette out of his vest pocket and lighting up. He wished Anko didn't always play these damn games. She wanted to gossip, but instead she talked around it to make him dig and dig for information.  
But he was a nosy bastard. So he played along.

"That was nice of you, I'm sure," he drawled, offering her a smoke. She snatched it and shoved it in her mouth unlit, rolling it around like candy between her lips. "What did you want to show him?"

Anko gave a pout for real this time. "He took it," she grumbled, "or I would show you myself. I recently made the acquaintance of a very nice rock-nin. After I killed him, I found a brand shiny new bingo book, hot off the press." She shrugged. "So I had a look." She was busily unwinding his expensive cigarette, letting the tobacco fall to the tabletop.

"Right," Asuma said flatly. There was no point in scolding her. Regulation stated that every time a new bingo copy from a foreign nation was pulled in, it had to be submitted in full to Intelligence. Knowing who everyone else wanted dead was important. But Anko had no shame. She'd obviously torn a page out of it before she handed it in.

Obviously disappointed by his lackluster response, Anko irritably pushed his new beer off the table and onto the floor. It shattered, splashing his leg. While he began to curse and shake out his pant leg, she leaned in closer, taking a smug swig of her own drink, and then wrapped both hands around it in her lap. "Guess who got their bingo cherry popped," she crooned.  
Asuma glanced up irritably. "That's it," he said flatly. "That's what you're bothering me about? Congratulations, moron."

"No, not me, you jackass!" She leapt to her feet and yelled in his face, cheeks scarlet. "I've been in there for years. Honestly," she groused, giving him a dirty look. "No, stupid. I was talking about his kid. You know, the Uzumaki girl."  
Asuma just started laughing.

"Yeah, I know," Anko snickered. "He's going to freak out."

________________________________________  
Aiko stared. Confused. Brain, it not working right now.

"Here is how you do Chidori! And this is how we kill someone using our pinkies! And for the next time you go on a date with boy who previously tried to kill you, here's how you kill someone with a silly straw." He demonstrated carefully on the mildly surprised looking bunshin he had made as a practice dummy in the split second before it ceased to exist. Then he fixed her a thoroughly unnerving stare, one eye spinning idly. "Also, don't fucking do that. Ever again."  
 


	27. Chapter 27

"That could be our new slogan," Emiko mused, totally serious. As she'd been silent for a while, her fellow genin and the Chuunin treating them to breakfast at her house gave her strange looks. Then she clarified. "I was just thinking about our mission. I think I know how we should advertise to clients." She held out her hands expansively. "Konoha nin! Providing permanent solutions to temporary problems since the first year of the ninja."

Aiko choked on her breakfast muffin, hacking and banging lightly on the table with her palm. By the time she could breathe again, the genin had dissolved into hysterical giggles. Ken held up a hand to catch the milk leaking out of his nose, glaring weakly at Emiko for her poor timing. Luckily for him, his hatred of the (incredibly flattering and practical) masked outfit had led him to getting a lower-cut shirt that didn't get any of the milk spray. The girls had also gotten new clothes, but they had kept what she'd gotten them for wear outside the village and still wore them occasionally.

"No. 'You get what you pay for'," Akira deadpanned with a pointed look at Ken. He looked offended.

'Not the worst way to deal with the problem of first mission death.' She joined them in giggles that were as dignified as she could manage. 'Humor is a great coping mechanism.'

A door banged open down the hall, and Karin stumbled out in her blue pajamas, rubbing at her eyes. Akira managed to stop laughing long enough to give her and up-and-down and raise one eyebrow. Probably at her seriously impressive bed-head.  
It also could have been the other girl who followed behind her from the master bathroom yawning, short black hair wet and wrapped up in an oversized fluffy purple bathrobe and white bunny slippers.

"Good morning, Aiko-san," Hinata managed, finding herself a seat at the table and flopping over weakly. She wasn't a morning person. "I didn't expect to see you back so soon." Karin grunted unhappily, finding herself a teacup and putting water on to boil. Aiko wordlessly pointed at the highly caffeinated tea she already had ready. Hinata poured herself a cup lightning-fast, dragging it to her body as if to protect it from the interlopers.

"So, this is your team?" Karin drawled, eying them. She looked unimpressed. Ken gave her a stink-eye in return, mopping up milk with his napkin.

"Hai. Emiko, Akira, and Ken. This is Karin and Hinata." Aiko gestured as was appropriate, raising to let her cousin take her seat since she was finished. "Dishes?" Akira wordlessly stood to help her gather them, taking up the job of rinsing while Aiko washed them in the other side of the sink. She handed the clean dishes to Ken to dry and put away in the cupboard. Emiko stretched, before checking the time and yawning. "It's late enough that I think I can go home."

"Alright," Aiko noted. "Have a good nap." She slid back into her chair, ignoring Karin's incredulous expression at her dirty mission fatigues.

The older redhead made a face. "I just thought of something. Aiko, please tell me you'll let me pick out your kimono for the spring festival."

She furrowed her brow. "Is that really coming up already?" Hinata managed to drag herself far enough off the table to nod, thoroughly unbecoming bags under her eyes.

The other two genin filed out soon after Emiko. They had made it to the village at about four in the morning. Shinobi had been out and about, along with several artisans and bakery workers, but not that many of them. Their mission report wouldn't be given until much later in the day, after the genin had a chance to rest. But no one had wanted to try to sneak into their house past hyper alert, sleeping parents. That didn't end well even when the parents in question weren't armed. (and almost everyone is armed in a shinobi village).

Aiko didn't take the chance to sleep. She was used to going without for longer times, and she was relatively certain that she would be meeting the person her shishou wanted her to meet today. As soon as her genin were gone, she took a long, luxurious shower. It may have been foolish and wasteful to do so directly before she went to the training grounds, but she wasn't fond of sticky day-old clothing.

Said clothing—all dark grey this time—hit the tile in a stiff pile. Since she wasn't planning on leaving the village, she indulged herself with Karin's scented shampoos and body wash.

It really was an indulgence for a ninja… they were scented like vanilla and contained glitter. It was shameful. Her normal soaps were harsh and had scents like 'forest', 'earth', and 'ocean'.

She used the glittery stuff anyways, and felt inordinately content. If she'd had more time, she might have painted her nails and gotten a mani-pedi.

'Thank all the kami for Hinata,' she mused when she stepped out and discovered the pile of luxurious jewel toned towels clean and ready for use. Since Naruto had left, someone else had to pick up the chore of laundry, and she was terrible about it. Karin was willing to do most of the housekeeping, like scrubbing and dusting. Aiko did most of the cooking and stocked the kitchen. Hinata had naturally slipped into the other chores as if she had always been there to water herbs and scrub out bloodstains.

Barefoot and clean, she toed the dirty clothes into the hamper before pulling out her own bathrobe and tossing her towel over the rack. Much happier now that she felt fresh, Aiko found one of her most definitely 'off-duty' uniform combinations- a still demure grey set of leggings with a short-sleeved pink tunic. She tugged her hair into pigtails with pink elastics, her black boots on her feet, and grey fingerless gloves over her hands before giving her reflection a grin and a thumbs-up.

"No stupid Chuunin vest today," she decided. She wouldn't need it to work on her chakra chains anyway. She did strap on her practice sword over her back, but didn't take any other weaponry or sealing equipment with her before she flounced out the door (tucking her lunch money into her bra for safekeeping) and headed straight for her usual training grounds.

She was less than surprised to be the only person there. Although she would normally start working out on her own, Aiko stretched out on the grass and tucked her hands behind her head. Then she cloud-watched, barely awake and content.  
Time passed out of consciousness. It could have been minutes, but it must have been hours before she felt the flicker of two chakra signatures arriving via shunshin. One of them was very familiar. One was not.

"Hey shishou." She waved lazily with her index and middle fingers, cracking one eye open to peer up at his companion.  
'Hellooo, nurse!' some voice from a far-off place in her brain called.

The hunk next to her sensei… just, wow. Dark, soulful eyes, messy brown hair, and a chin that could have been carved from marble peered down at her from its perch on broad shoulders. She grinned stupidly. 'Shame about the unflattering face-framing metal piece.' He also looked like he had dressed out of Kakashi-shishou's closet, which appealed to her for some reason.

Aiko stood up hastily, brushing off her clothes. "Hello, I'm Uzumaki Aiko. Please take care of me." She bowed politely to complete the traditional introduction.

Her sensei snickered rudely.

"I know." The man who could only be Yamato eyed her critically. "Yamato. I will be helping you today." He wasn't particularly impressed. He'd heard a lot about this kid second-hand, and he'd expected more. This was the girl that his senpai had left ANBU for? Bit underwhelming. She had pigtails and glitter all over for Kami's sake. He clenched his jaw imperceptibly. 'Kakashi-senpai, I won't let you down! Even if this is all I have to work with. I will impress you somehow.' He was, after all, senpai's best student.

The somewhat chilly reception took her aback. When she looked to her shishou for reassurance, she saw nothing helpful there, though she did note that her new training partner's expression tightened further. She scowled. 'Fine. I don't care if you're a hunk. You're going down.'

Aiko took a moment to construct a profile of the man in front of her. He was somewhere between 17 and his early 20s, had been a member of ANBU for most of that, and was socially impaired. He was highly skilled, and of above average intelligence  
.  
'This is going to be like taking candy from a baby. Slightly morally dubious, but hilariously easy and easily hilarious.'  
"You'll remember what we talked about?"

Yamato nodded, giving Kakashi his full attention and a sheepish smile, rubbing at his neck. "Hai, senpai!"

"Superb. Play nice, kids." Book already out, her bastard of a shishou just abandoned her to an eighteen year old who looked to have a grudge against her for some reason.

'Shishou, I will get you back for this.' He knew what was going on, she was sure of it.

"Alright then. Let's see what you can do." Yamato clapped his hands together, businesslike expression on his face. "Wood style!" The two pillars that rose above the tree line were probably supposed to impress her.

She twitched. 'Why do boys always shout out what they're doing? I mean, I know it's supposed to be a mnemonic device to make learning jutsu easier, but at his level this guy should really be able to do that without telling everyone and their dog what's going on. How embarrassing.' Wordlessly, she visualized two shining chakra chains coming from her back, wrapping around her arms and shooting out twenty feet to pierce the pillars he had summoned, splitting them in half with a terrible crack.

Aiko grinned up at his mildly surprised expression. "You'll have to do better than that," she taunted. "What's the idea here? I thought you were going to teach me to be gentle, Yamato." She faked an innocent posture (with calculated adorable pointed-in-toes) and an ever-so-slightly breathy tone, interlacing her fingers and tilting her head to pout up at him. "Is shoving all that hard wood at me really the best way to teach me restraint?"

He sputtered incoherently.

'Point one to Aiko.'

________________________________________

"Anko…" Shizune groaned, rubbing at her head, and wishing that Tsunade-sama was around to deal with this. "You frightened the Academy students… and teachers."

It was a bit unconventional to have this conversation in her office at the hospital, (especially since the only chair other than hers had been borrowed from pediatrics) but she didn't really want to have the younger woman disciplined through official channels. She was somewhat fond of the snake summoner and a little protective—poor Anko had been poorly done by so far as Konoha was concerned. After her traitorous sensei had abandoned her, Anko had been looked on with suspicion. Official reprimands would hurt her more than they should.

Besides, she was waiting on results from some bloodwork from an academy student of dubious parentage who had displayed symptoms of a certain rare genetic disorder. She didn't want to leave her office for too long. That paperwork could corroborate her hypothesis. It would explain so much…

The other woman scowled irritably. "Well, Hokage-sama told me to find a child!"

Shizune blinked wearily. "What?" That… that didn't sound like something Tsunade-sama would say.

Anko nodded seriously, eyes closed and arms crossed. "Yes. She told me this morning that I needed to find a student to teach snake-summoning and my special taijutsu. I only know one child in person, and I'm not going to fight Hatake for her. So I went to the place where I knew children could be found!" She held up a finger. "I wanted to find the best one!"

'Why me?' Shizune bemoaned. Outwardly, she just sighed in understanding. "I don't think that's what she meant. First of all, it would take years to get an Academy student up to the level where they could hope to use summoning. That takes a lot of chakra. Therefore, you'd be better off with a student who is already a genin, ideally one without a regular sensei so they have plenty of time to work with you. If you do pick a student who has a sensei, make sure they're one who doesn't spend too much time working on a family style or something. Secondly, that's not how you find a student." She deadpanned. "You're going to have to talk to one. Not just stare silently and test their reflexes with senbon."

After a moment's thought, she added, "and it tends to unnerve people when you don't blink. Remember to do that."

She looked thoroughly unimpressed, but Anko seemed to have absorbed the lecture. "Where am I going to find a child if I can't use the Academy?" she whined. "I don't work with any, I don't know anyone with one I can borrow, and I've never seen one in the places I frequent."

Shizune shrugged helplessly. 'That may be because you spend all your free time at the bars and adult bookstores?' Then there was a knock on the door. Before she could call out for the person to enter or wait, the door flung open and Uzumaki Karin stomped in, a stormcloud practically visible over her head. "Here," she said brusquely, tossing a clipboard onto Shizune's desk with a clatter. "Enjoy. I'd stay and chat, but apparently I need remedial instruction on bedside manner." The sneer that accompanied this statement was vicious.

The door slammed shut before the two adult women could blink.

"Sorry about that," Shizune laughed. Poor grumpy Karin. She was-

"She's perfect," Anko breathed. She stood jerkily, letting her humorously undersized chair fall over with a clatter. She moved with enough speed to confuse an unwary observer into thinking she'd used shunshin, pinning Karin against the wall with one hand and grinning ferally into her face.

A lesser genin might have frozen in the face of a larger, mentally unstable predator. Karin reflexively head-butted the other woman and bonelessly relaxed before twisting to the side and nearly escaping before Anko slipped around and pinned her again with one hand under Karin's chin, the other on her shoulder. Karin might have kept struggling… if it weren't for the black-scaled snakes twisting around her torso.

A wise woman knew when she was outmatched by someone dangerously crazy. Karin went limp, tilting her head up and exposing her vulnerable throat.

The crazy woman who had assaulted her licked her lips slowly, leaning in so close that warm breath (scented like candy apples) washed across Karin's face. "I want you," she crooned, stroking Karin's face. Karin blinked, straining to look down and investigate the softness she could feel pressing against her chest. "To be my student." She relaxed. That made much more sense. But it was mildly disappointing as well.

Karin was an equal-opportunity pervert.

"Would I get to use snakes?" At the affirmation, Karin shrugged. "Sure, I guess."

Anko froze. That wasn't what she'd been expecting. First, the teacher made vaguely sexual advances on the young girl who needed to learn the ways of the world. Then the student blushed and demurred, maybe struggling a little. Then-  
'Ah,' she realized. 'I'm getting this mixed up with Icha Icha Teacher's Pet. I think this is okay.' Anko nodded decisively, remembering to blink after a few more seconds. She'd never had a student. She had been asked to test a genin team once, but it hadn't worked out.

Something about quitting the shinobi force to get away from her or something.

"But," the redhead she had recently accosted added. "I have two conditions. "Firstly, you have to teach my friend, too. Secondly…" she paused. "Tell me who the hell you are, and why should I want to learn from you."

It was the beginning of something beautiful, Anko just knew it. She grinned toothily. "The beautiful, busty and talented, Mitarashi Anko, your new shishou and personal hero!" she struck a pose. The redhead blinked, glancing down at the snakes unwinding from her body.

"Sounds good." This Anko person was pretty busty. She could be telling the truth about the rest, and it was the first offer Karin had gotten from a potential teacher with combat abilities. Being a medic was all well and good, but it wasn't what she had envisioned when she had joined the ranks of shinobi.

________________________________________

It was almost time for the lunch break, and she was working as efficiently as possible. Tsunade had the short warning of her secretary making an alarmed sound on the outside of her closed door, but she wasn't entirely prepared to have her door slam open. Sasuke jerked from his position curled up on the couch with a book, doing his best to look alert.

"I have arrived, triumphant once more!"

She groaned, rubbing at her forehead and wondering just how her sensei had dealt with these lunatics for so long. No wonder he'd gone around the bend. She envied his retirement.

"Hi, Sasuke-san!" was quickly followed by a squeaked, "Hello, Uchiha-san."

She didn't want to look. She didn't, really. But she had to. There was Anko, standing with her legs wide apart and a girl over each shoulder, torsos hanging down her back and held up with one arm across each of their thighs.

Her poor student stared dumbly, perhaps unduly interested in all the adolescent booty on display, nicely framing Anko-chan's cans. Then he stiffened like someone had hit him across the face with a brick, turning away and concentrating on his book like his life depended on it. His only reply was a grunted "Hn".

The poor thing was feeling hormones hit him like two tons of rock. He was at that age. Tsunade, however, was less easily distracted.

"Kai!"

When nothing changed, she had to abandon the hopeful idea that she could solve whatever the hell this was by hitting Jiraiya.  
"Hokage-sama! I found not one but two students!" She grinned cheekily. "How's that? Shizune-chyyaaaan told me that I'd be better off with a student who was already graduated from the academy."

Tsunade stared flatly. "I'm afraid to tell you that I can't identify my kunoichi by ass," she deadpanned. "Jiraiya never taught me that forbidden technique." 'He did offer, multiple times.' "Who exactly have you found to be your student?"  
'And did they actually agree? It's not normal to physically carry them around like sacks of rice.'

"Um…" Anko glanced down. "I never asked their names, actually."

'Idiots, one and all.' She groaned, exchanging a sympathetic glance with her younger student.

"Uzumaki Karin!" emanated from the vicinity of Anko's back. She vaguely noted the long red hair hanging down around by the jounin's hip. That still didn't answer… "Um, um… Hyuuga Hinata, Hokage-sama," came a much quieter voice, rising in slight panic towards the end.

Anko dropped the girls onto the floor, spinning around to check. "What, really?"

Tsunade peered over her desk, mildly interested. She'd heard a fair bit about this girl, but nothing that indicated someone like Anko would take interest in her.

It was actually a bit scandalous—the first Hyuuga heir in recorded history ever actually being declared unsuitable to inherit and marked for the Branch clan to prevent her from ever inheriting. It was an unnecessarily vicious blow. Like many other ass-backwards clans, the Hyuuga were sexist. They allowed women to inherit, but not to form Branch clans. Normally, neither of the girls would have been branded. The girl who didn't inherit would have been married off to another main family member.  
'Actually,' she mused, 'that makes some sense. Anko-chan might have sympathy for another outcast.'

The Uzumaki rubbing her ass fit the same pattern as well, in a way. She'd come from outside the village and stayed on the grace of her 'cousin' and the Sandaime.

"Alright," she said, eager to get these people out of her office. "I approve. I assume you've talked to Kurenai about borrowing her student?"

Anko opened her mouth and took a breath, eyes flickering around the office as if looking for an escape. Sasuke made a rude noise, curled up as he was like a cat in between the cushions of the couch Tsunade had made him bring from her home. (It made nap time much more pleasant).

"Take care of that," she said dryly, turning back to her work. "I expect to hear good things about you two." Then she thought better of that. "You too, Anko. Behave. Don't think I didn't hear about you attacking a group of Academy students on recess break this morning."

Hinata shot her new teacher an alarmed look. Anko rolled her eyes, twisting a kunai around her fingers.

________________________________________

"Good god, what happened to you?" Temari blurted out when she bumped into her target by coincidence outside the Hokage tower. Then she winced. That wasn't how she had intended to start subtly gathering information. (Her reconnaissance yesterday had been inconclusive).

Luckily, the other girl didn't seem to care. She shrugged, tugging her fingers through a pigtail and dislodging what looked to be woodchips. "Training," she said matter-of-factly before nodding at each of them. "Temari-san, Gaara-san, Hare-san." The ANBU member on the wall twitched, relocating before Temari could turn and catch sight of her escort.

"Hello," Gaara said, somewhat unexpectedly. It was abrupt and awkward, but hell if it wasn't a try. Temari resigned herself to a Konoha in-law, stomach sinking when the girl smiled at him.

"I didn't expect to see you again." She crinkled her nose up at him. "Ah, sorry about what happened last time." She clasped her hands and fidgeted in a way that Temari was disgusted to notice was absolutely adorable. "Kiba-san has good intentions, but I'm afraid he can be a bit… abrasive."

That was a polite understatement. Aiko had been too disgusted with his ham-handedness to maintain conversation with him for long, especially when he tried to take her up on her offer to sit with her. She'd mostly said that to pacify him, not because she was interested. Kiba was such a flirt—all the girls in their age group knew not to humor him. So she had left.

"I'm afraid I don't know your name." Temari gave a thin smile.

It was reciprocated. "How rude. Uzumaki Aiko, very nice to meet you." She winced slightly, one hand drifting over to her left hip. "If you'll excuse me, I was actually on my way to a medic nin."

Well. Sasuke might not technically have that title yet, but she'd rather let him practice on her than go to the hospital. She didn't dislike it like many older ninjas did, but it was much easier to cut through all the bureaucratic crap. Besides, Sasuke was always at least accommodating when she offered to be used as a practice dummy.

________________________________________  
Omake

Sore, bruised, and mildly more irritable than usual from a particularly vicious kenjutsu lesson, Sasuke tugged as patiently as possible on Tonton's leash. This was without a doubt the most undignified part of his apprenticeship.  
Getting alcohol and lunch for his shishou? Sure, why the hell not. It wasn't that far out of his way. Having to work in the hospital with leering nurses? It was perhaps a bit below him, but it allowed him to practice the essential skills that led to the S-class jutsu Tsunade would teach him when he was powerful enough.

But walking the pig when Shizune was leading surgery… Sasuke shuddered. A small group of civilian girls in those idiotically impractical dresses that were apparently fashionable now giggled at him, jostling each other and whispering pointedly. 'At least the idiot is out of the country,' he consoled himself. Kami only knew that Naruto would never let him live this down.


	28. Chapter 28

"I've brought you here to discuss your imminent retirement."

Koharu choked on nothing, hacking in a most undignified manner. At her side, Homura looked most unimpressed, shuffling his stiff feet against the luxurious teal rug Tsunade had installed in her office to match the couch from home.

"Now really, Tsunade-chan, that isn't very funny." He gave her a disapproving look.

"No, it isn't," she agreed easily. Her hands were folded on the desk- she had called them to her office like a school principal with naughty children- and she did indeed look dead serious. "It's time to switch out our current system. A changing of the guard, if you will. I actually think that the two of you will agree that the proposed reforms are in Konoha's best interests."

She snapped her fingers, and Shizune wordlessly handed her what looked to be a collection of folders. Her other apprentice was in the room as well. He had no idea what was going on, but he was obediently standing silently and looking impassive. She would need his presence later to make a point very clear and prevent them from defending against her argument.  
She'd like to see the old farts look him in the eye and defend exterminating his clan when they desperately wanted him to spawn another one for the good of the village.

"Granted, the village isn't actually that old," she began, spreading out the folders on her desk. "So what we have established as a council is hardly a time-honored tradition. You two are the second council that Konoha has ever had, but the original reasoning behind the two-man council is long past. Originally, the council was representatives of the two noble clans of Konoha that founded the alliance. That is no longer the case. The original purpose of the council was to be the voice of the people whispering in the Hokage's ear."

Koharu was very, very still.

Tsunade deliberately did not smile. Despite the fact that they were militant old bags of wind, the two in front of her really did have Konoha's best interests in mind. "For all your years of commendable experience, talents, and intelligence, I don't think anyone would make the claim that the two teammates of a man elected to the Hokage position over half a century ago are now able to speak for the will of the people. That Hokage has retired, and with him the hint of nepotism that encouraged that appointment," she couldn't resist adding.

"Now, you listen here," Homura began to bluster. She looked very unimpressed. "We have served this village for longer than you've been alive!"

"I know, and that's part of the problem," she drawled. "Surely you are not so delusional to think that you will live forever? You two have been shouldering the burdens that the Third Hokage was less adept with or interested in for a while now. He has retired, for the second time," she enunciated carefully. "It's time for you to pick your replacements."

That was when she flipped open the first of the folders. "The new council," she drawled easily, enjoying the scripted performance, "will consist of five members. A consensus of all five would overrule any proposed action by a Hokage. As it is now, the only role of the Council—the supposed will of the people—is to provide guidance. I am not so naïve as to think you always agreed with my predecessors, not least because I have detailed information about times that you two felt sensei was making a mistake and chose to follow another path."

The words were deliberately chosen. They had been phrased in such a way as to imply multiple things—that they may have been right about those things, that she had much more information than they would like, and that if they did not do as she wished, she could have them tried for treasonous actions.

A carrot and a stick. That skinny Nara brat had made some flowery analogy about flowers and deer, but Tsunade liked to call things what they were.

From their tense posture, both of the elders received her messages loud and clear. She savored it for just a moment—she hated having to play at their own game, but she wasn't a ham-handed brute. This route would serve her well. And oh, it was sweet to see them squirm.

She was almost hoping that she would get to use force, but her first route was that of diplomacy. If they greased the wheels, this transition would be easier.

"These five members will be selected to represent certain important factions within Konoha," she continued, drawing their attention back to her folders and passing the first one out. "For example, I have selected Morino Ibiki as a prospective candidate for the seat representing the intelligence division as one of the permanent perspectives we should be guided by. The other areas would be a representative from the Hospital's board of directors, the active duty sector, the Academy, and last but not least, a representative of the mercantile faction."

At their outraged expressions, she added, "I have several civilians from the Yamanaka clan in mind. Rest assured that the civilian perspective on the council will not be completely ignorant of the demands of a shinobi village. However, a large part of Konoha's strength is in our trade. Shinobi mouths cannot be fed without farmers, merchants, and the men and women whose children become our first generation shinobi to replace the waning strength of our clans."

They seemed a bit stunned. She took it as a good sign. "I would hope that you would be instrumental in selecting a successor for one of those categories."

With her stipulation that they avoid all appearance of nepotism and keep the Council separate from the guiding body of Clan Heads that made up the larger council, it would be nearly impossible for either of them to find a worthy candidate who would actually be a problem. But even if they both managed it, her three selections would outweigh them. Morino Ibiki was a nearly assured selection, after all. It was hard to claim that anyone other than the Head of their Intelligence would be able to represent that faction.

The folders she had provided and passed out at that point contained the profiles of the people she had considered, color-coded by the office they were meant to represent. In a rare fit of humor, Sasuke had made the active duty candidates leaf green, intelligence pink, and the hospital the color of the hideous tiling. (Shizune called it 'partially digested pumpkin'). The Academy candidate's steel grey and the civilian members' yellow (the shade of an expensive imported dye unavailable anywhere in the Fire Country) were less amusing, but still appropriate. Tsunade rather suspected he had some obsessive compulsive tendencies.  
Neither of the antediluvian lizards slowly decaying on chairs in her office were idiots, for all their flaws. A bit paternalistic and condescending, but they did want what was best for Konoha. They would find the idea of a council with the power to outvote a Hokage very appealing, and the more organized she appeared to be, the better they would look upon the plan.

Silently, the two read through several folders, making faces at some and nodding slightly at others. That could have just been their weak dinosaur neck muscles wavering, though, she mocked internally. Her amusement stayed off her face completely. She couldn't allow them to treat her as a child.

Finally, Koharu spoke. "You suggest Maito Gai for the active duty shinobi? Do you really feel that is wise, Tsunade-chan?"  
She recognized the query for the test that it was. Tsunade gave a faux-casual shrug. "Maito-san is perhaps one of the most unconventional shinobi in the village, but also undeniably one of the strongest active-duty shinobi. He is internationally regarded, practical, and highly intelligent. His experience with producing an admirable team will aid him, as will his almost two decades of active service both in wartime and in peace."

He was fucking weird as all hell, is what he was, but that didn't change the fact that he was brilliant.

"But we have other war heroes," Koharu probed innocently.

Tsunade gave a quiet huff. "It's true that Hatake Kakashi, for example, is perhaps both more intelligent and more powerful than Gai-san," she began, "But he does not possess the necessary temperament for that type of role. If all else fails he would be an excellent, powerful and decisive Hokage, but I do not believe he has the natural understanding of those around him that would aid him in speaking for his peers. Gai-san has contact with many age groups and specializations, whereas Hatake-san appears to have a decidedly anti-social bent."

(At this point, she could practically hear the hyena-like cackle that her youngest apprentice might have wanted to indulge in at the thought of his old sensei speaking for the people. It was a patently ludicrous thought. Maybe she was projecting, though.)  
'Gotcha'. She let just a hint of amusement reach her honey eyes. They'd played into her hands by asking her about her selections and allowing her to illustrate that she had coherent arguments and logical explanations for each name on the shortlist.

"And this Umino Iruka?" Homura asked suddenly, holding up a glossy picture of the man in his Chuunin fatigues. "He seems very young for such a role."

"Umino?" She delicately raised one eyebrow. "He is two years older than you were when you two each assumed fifty percent of the responsibilities that these five members would shoulder amongst themselves," she said a bit too sweetly. "Surely it's possible that someone like that could handle less than half of what you did when you assumed your positions."

The air conditioning seemed to suddenly become more effective.

They couldn't well refute that without saying that appointing them had been a mistake and that they had their positions on the basis of nepotism. They did, of course, and they probably knew that on some level.

"We shall consider this proposition," Koharu said with quiet dignity, standing to leave. Homura got to his feet unsteadily as well.  
"Just one more thing," Tsunade said lazily. 'Time for the teeth to come out'. "This is not a suggestion. I dearly hope that you will see the wisdom in this proposal, but with the information I have about your past habits of…" she pursed her lips, enjoying their carefully blank expressions. "say, indulging in actions that Sarutobi-sensei had found to be unwise, I would have to be foolish to keep you on my council. I do not have the benefit of working with you for years and cannot therefore trust that when you go behind my back and aid Danzo in rather interesting escapades that I will see the wisdom in them after the fact or forgive you out of friendship. Make no mistake. Your retirements will be announced two days from now at the spring festival, whether you do it yourselves through a smile or I explain after I have you arrested for treason tomorrow." She gave a decidedly feline smile. "Enjoy your retirement."

When the door slammed shut behind them and the privacy seals flared to life again, she allowed herself to relax. "Well, that was a fucking bore," she drawled. 'Two down, and the worst to go.' That would be a while yet, despite how desperately she wanted the damn thing done.

There was a chance that they would decide to fight her. They would first go to Danzo, then the Daimyo. Once Danzo realized the Daimyo had already been poisoned against the three of them (why support a candidate who could die off at any moment?) he would almost certainly leave the two of them out to dry. In turn… Well. They wouldn't like that much, now would they?  
Shizune giggled, on a bit of an adrenaline fueled high. She let herself relax, having been tensely professional the entire time the council had been there.

"It's almost like you're planning on putting an idiot in office," Sasuke drawled with a slight smirk. "Are you sure you don't want to codify anything else to prevent Naruto from running Konoha into the ground or hurting himself? Maybe we should put protective cushions around all the corners in the building?"

"If you think of anything else, be sure to file all suggestions with Keiko," she snarked. Then she sighed, serious. There was one or two more unpleasant things to get out of the way at the moment, despite being done with bullying the elderly for the moment.

"Sasuke." He looked at her, smirk slipping off his features. "Shizune and I each have one issue to bring up with you." She cracked her knuckles. "Unfortunately, what I need to tell you is classified information above your clearance level. You desperately need to know, but there are also extenuating circumstances making it very unwise for me to tell you right now."  
Both of his dark eyebrows went up. He'd been cleared to Jounin status as her apprentice so he could be helpful. "It relates to the indiscretions that I am tossing those old farts out on their asses for." She purposefully let bitterness seep into her tone.  
He became very still, dark eyes unwavering. There weren't many good ways to interpret that.

"Once you have met either one of the two requirements for officially becoming a Clan Head, turning sixteen or proving yourself an A-class shinobi capable of defending the village's most important secrets, I will tell you everything that I was told soon after I gained this office." She regarded him steadily. "Can you trust my wisdom and that I act in your best interests until that time?" This wasn't an ideal solution. If she didn't have a grasp of his personality and think he could handle it, she would have tried to keep this information from him forever instead of trying to make sure he didn't become too infuriated when he found out he'd wasted five years hating a victim and being smiled at by the real murderers.

"Hai," he said slowly and a bit uncertainly, his loose clothes rustling slightly as he shifted.

"Good," she bit off, glad to be able to pass the buck. "Now, Shizune, tell him what you discovered."

Her older apprentice gave her a dirty look. Tsunade had agreed to break this news as well. She stepped forward gamely anyway, somewhat nervously fingering the blood test she had analyzed earlier that day. "Ah, do you remember when I asked you for clearance to access your family's medical history?" He nodded.

Tsunade tried not to snort. That wasn't a particularly brave start.

"For context, I think I should explain that the Uchiha clan actually had a tendency to demonstrate a certain rare blood disease in the last few generations," she continued professionally. "Very rare, of course. I think that there were four reported cases since the founding, but seeing as the disease has only been reported as manifesting outside the clan in the limited medical history we have, I would hypothesize that there's a definite genetic predisposition in your family line. We don't know much about it at all, actually, and it has never been cured."

"This does not inspire comfort," he deadpanned, crossing his arms. "So, is this your way of telling me I'm sick? Do I have a month left to live, perhaps?"

"No…" she coughed, eyes avoiding his face. "When an Academy student displayed symptoms, I thought to do some bloodwork."  
Sasuke had gone pale in an instant when she'd said the world 'student', and was now looking distinctly green by 'bloodwork'. He was a smart boy.

"Um, well. There are five cases now. Congratulations." She held out a profile and gave a picture-perfect smile with just the right amount of teeth. "It's a girl. It looks like someone was pregnant with the love-child of a cousin of yours at the time of his death. That woman, a career Chuunin who passed away about a year ago, never released any information about the child's parentage." She coughed awkwardly. "Somewhat understandably so, given that Itachi is still at large."

There was a thump when Sasuke fainted dead away. It was the least dignified thing either woman had ever seen him do.

Tsunade peered over the edge of her desk and cackled. "Welcome to responsibility for another life, Uchiha Clan heir," she gasped out. She burst out into peals of laughter at Shizune's false disapproval. "Oh, live a little. It's funny. And just think, I bet the poor boy is going to be the one to figure out the cure."

Shizune cracked a reluctant smile, picking up her limp kohai easily and ruffling his hair after she deposited him on the couch. "He does excel in his areas of interest," she commented mildly. And it would be the first time a medic of any real caliber had investigated the disease, as the Uchiha had been far too proud for their own good and apparently of the idiotic idea that a predisposition for a certain disease tied to the carriers of Sharingan was an embarrassing sign of weakness.

________________________________________  
"When do we leave?"

Temari jumped a little, sloshing her ice-cold water onto her lap. She grimaced, ignoring the television long enough to mop up the mess with a cushion and then toss it aside. Someone came to clean daily anyway. Living in Konoha was niiiice- no water restrictions or assigned times for bathing, air conditioning that she could adjust in the apartment, and a twitchy brunette who she could ring and ask for food at any time were all at her disposal.

'At this rate, I'm going to be able to proudly tell Kankuro that Gaara learned to speak in sentences while we were away. Won't he be surprised', she thought amusedly. He seemed marginally less terrifying now that she knew he could do something so human as get flustered over how to talk to a girl. Being in Konoha really had been good for him.

"Depends," she finally answered. Temari looked up at her brother lazily and patted the sqwooshy mauve couch in invitation. He leaned against the back instead, oddly intent as he loomed over her. "Why? Are you bored?"

Poor Gaara had been getting the brunt of what little enthusiasm that the irritating tour guide assigned to them for their stay could muster. (It was almost as if Konoha wanted to make sure they'd be kept out of trouble or something. She had no idea where they'd ever get an idea like that).

While she was in meetings with the Hokage or signing endless paperwork downstairs, he had endured monotonous tours of the hundreds of little bridges spanning tiny creeks and rock gardens and all manner of sissy things that Konoha boasted instead of practical things like minefields filled with poisonous cacti and poisonous animals. (It boggled the mind. What ninja cared that much about aesthetics? The Senju had apparently been fucking weird).

The tours had proven two different things to Temari- they were getting desperate to keep her little brother entertained, and he was demonstrating what seemed to be saintlike patience. Of course, since for Gaara days never ended and he probably stared at the walls or something for a polite eight hours while the rest of Konoha slept, it made sense that he would be anxious enough to want to leave.

"If things go well, we could be out of here tomorrow," she ventured, aiming for a noncommittal tone since he had never responded to her last try at conversation. She had actually been rather interested in staying for the cherry blossom viewing festival. She had never seen one before, and wasn't likely to have a chance again anytime soon.

Either she wasn't as good as she thought she was, or her little brother knew her far better than he'd indicated so far because he gave her a sharp look. Temari preferred to think it was the second option. Sheepishly, she shrugged and admitted that, "I was hoping to stay for the festival. The Hokage invited us, you know. I mean, it is a little childish, but…"

"That would be acceptable," Gaara said quietly, looking down at his hands uncertainly before slowly moving to pat her shoulder. She gifted him with a wide smile. Awkwardly, he tried to raise one half of his mouth in answer, baring a few teeth. His cheek sort of twitched, and then she couldn't help but laugh.

He looked mildly affronted, so she sat up and flung her arms around his neck, dragging him closer down to her level. It was nice to be able to touch her youngest brother, especially now that Kankuro had decided he was too grown up for cuddles. Temari was actually a very physical person.

"Thanks," she chirruped. "You know, they gave us a budget for shopping since we're here as ambassadors. Want to play dress up for the festival?"

The look he gave her in answer was revolted. She snickered, before conceding, "Okay, maybe not. I think I have one of my nicer outfits clean anyways. Do you need that washed?" She nodded at his blood-stained attire.

Gaara looked faintly perplexed. "I had these clothes washed before we left home."

'Eat your heart out, sissy Konoha nin,' Temari thought with a lopsided smirk. "Fair enough, little bro. Although normally, people wash their clothes every day here. Not exactly worried about water supplies." There had never seemed like any point in pressing the matter of hygiene with him, since he got blood on his clothes almost daily up until recently.

If he'd possessed eyebrows, they would have been raised then.

"Yeah, I know," she agreed blandly, and considered asking him why he didn't have any. Did he shave them off, or did he just not grow any? She hadn't thought it polite to ask before.

Still probably wasn't very polite, actually.  
________________________________________

Yamato slouched like a recalcitrant child, red-faced and slightly shamed. He could practically feel amusement in his senpai's gaze, though the only hints were in that one visible eye.

"And how did practice go earlier today?" he inquired lightly, a strange lilt in his voice. Yamato shuffled his feet guiltily.  
Stiffly, he replied, "Aiko-san may be more talented than I gave her credit for."

That was a slight understatement. She had kept him on the run, and he was relatively certain that she wasn't working very hard to gentle her blows. The difficulty of using her chains for restraint partially lay in the fact that she would be using them on moving targets. The girl could easily wrap them around existing wood without even cracking it (a low bar for measuring gentleness, but he'd take what he could get since he was not planning on letting her touch him with them) but as soon as she had to act against a moving target all hell broke loose.

However, after he had somehow managed to offend her, he was relatively certain that her intent had been less to practice and more to make a point. It was impractical, and that confused him a bit. They would have to work together again at least once more. If she disliked him so, she should be as efficient as possible to end the working relationship.

Then again, he was a black kettle talking about a pot. He had let a teenager fluster him and get under his skin. He was already embarrassed before he'd gone to his apartment and found that his hair and clothes were full of splinters. And so here he was, gently shedding bits of trash in front of his personal hero. Yamato took a moment to feel a little sorry for himself.  
There was a pointed silence while Kakashi mercilessly waited for the younger man to continue, completely ignoring the obvious plea in watery dark eyes. "Is that a report, soldier?"

He coughed, tugging at his flak jacket. It was a different weight distribution than ANBU gear, and he wasn't yet used to it. He didn't venture out in plainclothes much. "Well, um. By the end of things, she did have somewhat of a grasp of using her chakra chains in a way that didn't damage wood, but I am not entirely confident she will be able to safely use them as a method of restraint for living beings."

"Oh?" his bastard of a senpai inquired easily. "Were you correct about your assumption that she would probably not be able to do too much damage, or did you need to help her master gentle handling against your wood before you risked flesh?"  
The wording, though factual… was disturbingly reminiscent of his terrible experience. 'You fucker,' Yamato thought a little darkly, 'you knew. You knew about that little monster.' Outwardly, he maintained as impassive an expression as possible.  
There was absolutely no chance his senpai was fooled.

"No. Aiko-san demonstrated… disturbing proficiency with damaging my wood." His ears were scarlet, and there was an altogether strange tone in his voice. Kakashi favored him with a glance. Defensively, Yamato added, "She also demonstrated by far the filthiest vocabulary I've ever encountered."

Kakashi valiantly managed not to snicker. Poor uptight Tenzou. He gave his cute little kohai an unimpressed expression. "Who, precious little Aiko-chan? Ah, that's funny Tenzou." He practically leered. "What a joker you are."

"Yamato!" his kohai practically yelped, coloring around his collar. "It's Yamato now." Then he gave a slight pout, as if considering refuting his senpai's apparent misconception about the nature of his apprentice. Then again, complaining might signal to her that she'd somehow won a psychological victory, which would be unacceptable. He'd won their spar, of course. He was former ANBU and an A-class shinobi. It would have been an utter disgrace if he hadn't.

Then again, it was also a bit disgraceful that he had let her fluster him into turning their training into a spar. It had been supposed to be a controlled exercise. By the end, he involuntarily cringed every time he was pushed into using his unique jutsu to push her abilities. The comments about being overwhelmed by his barrage and so on didn't help, either. That little brat was a hell of a voice actor. If he didn't know what had been going on…

He involuntarily tugged at his collar, swallowing hard. 'She's not even fourteen,' he reminded himself desperately. 'She doesn't know what she's talking about.'

Yamato carefully steered this thoughts away from that dark path. That way only leads to madness. She wouldn't act so... so… Well. That wouldn't happen again if someone else was there to witness, right? The girl had seemed perfectly sweet and innocent until Kakashi-senpai had left. Overly saccharine, in fact. …suspiciously so…

Yamato had the sudden suspicion that he'd been played. She'd never been a fluffball in the first place, had she.

"Well then, Yamato," Kakashi breathed, taking a step in. His heartrate jumped, and he went very still while his senpai practically purred into his ear. "I suppose that I'll still need your help."

"Hai," he agreed dumbly before he knew what he'd said.

"Excellent." Kakashi snapped backwards, no longer leaning in and somehow looming over Yamato and disrupting his thought processes. "I'll find you when I need help again."

Flustered, Yamato jumped and moved to waive his hands, saying that he'd changed his mind or that he wasn't the best to help her or please god senpai, don't leave me alone with a girl again- but it was too late. His senpai gave a little wave and was gone.  
'That is the rudest way to end a conversation,' he pouted to himself, sinking down into his couch with no care for the mess he was leaving. (Senpai had ambushed him when he came home, having placidly eaten the leftovers in the fridge with no apparent shame whatsoever). He didn't even know when his senpai would want his help again.

Then again, that meant that Kakashi-senpai would seek him out on his own. Yamato brightened.  
________________________________________  
"Booooring," Aiko whined, channeling Naruto just a little bit. Absently, Ino reached back and smacked her upside the head. She cringed with the force of the blow, lessening the force behind it but didn't bother to dodge. She'd deserved it.

This was a particular ritual that Aiko had never taken part in to her memory, though she had heard tell of it before.  
'Funny, it always seemed so much more interesting in movies,' she mused. She had obediently parked her butt on a bench outside the fitting room where Karin was tugging Hinata into a gorgeous kimono for the festival the day after tomorrow. She wasn't entirely sure where they had picked Ino up, but she had come with a wide-eyed, patient boy Aiko had never met who was apparently her designated shopping bag holder. He was looking a little unbalanced, she noted critically. But he was very strong, probably either a low-level shinobi or someone who worked out a lot. A lesser man might have sagged under the bolts of fabric Ino was throwing around haphazardly. From what Aiko gathered, Ino and her mother had a tradition of making their own kimono for this festival. The woman must have been very talented, because the pictures Ino trotted out proved that she wasn't shoddily dressed at past events.

"Oh!" Ino gasped theatrically, hands flying up to her mouth. "You gorgeous bitch! Everyone, look at Hinata."

The girl herself was flushing when Aiko lifted her head to see what the fuss was about, but Hinata resolutely stared straight forward. It was a marked improvement on her old habit of staring at the ground (or fainting, god forbid). The kimono itself had been excellently tailored to her graceful form. Doubtlessly the patterns of yellow, green, and pink birds and flowers meant something incredibly poignant, but Aiko had no idea. She'd forgotten pretty much everything she'd learned about flower meanings and kimono selection. Aiko liked clothes quite a bit, but they were usually much simpler.

Karin squealed, Ino's boy toy gazed for just a little too long and sputtered out something complimentary, and a group of slightly older girls they didn't know came over to gush. Apparently, Hinata was going to be the prettiest girl at the whole damn festival. When the group looked at her expectantly, Aiko hurried to think of something appropriate to say.

"Where are you going to put your weapons in that?"

Apparently, that wasn't the magic phrase she was looking for. Hinata gave a surprised sort of laugh, but Karin face-palmed and Ino gave her a bewildered look. She shrugged helplessly in response, giving Aiko a particularly disgusted look through her fingers.

"How did you pass your traditional dress class when you started school?"

Aiko shrugged uncaringly. "Naruto," she replied simply as if that explained everything. Then she frowned. 'Come to think of it, that probably only creates more questions for them,' she realized. No one said anything. Impatiently, she tapped at the weapons pouch on her thigh. It was a bit of a security blanket and comforting habit for her.

"Who is dressing you for this?" Ino finally managed, sounding disturbingly flat.

"Um… Karin?" she said, making it more of a question than a statement and peering over at her 'cousin'. Ino patted her arm.  
"Good call. Actually, if you don't mind I'd like to help. Doesn't she have such exotic coloring?" Ino tugged on Aiko's hair and poked her pale cheek with one of her harpy talons before whipping around to ignore her again.

'It's like I'm an animal for sale.' Slightly offended, she slouched against a wall and just waited for it all to be over. She had no idea why, but they eventually put her in a pink and brown confection and did their level best to force any and all oxygen out of her body with the obi.

"That's too tight," she blandly slipped out, slapping their hands away and loosening it herself. Why would they do that? The dress was already impractical enough. Reducing her cardio abilities would be an outright hindrance.

Ino and Karin shared an inscrutable look at her expense. She rolled her eyes. She didn't need to look sexy. She was thirteen.  
That was in the afternoon, and Aiko had split from her other companions. Normally she might have been miffed about carrying all the bags home, but she was just grateful to be free. Hinata and Karin were going to meet with their new sensei to train for the first time, and had made a quick change in the shop before taking off to training ground 44.

Aiko almost considered pitying them. They didn't seem to understand what they'd gotten into, even after Kurenai broke out into a laughing fit and kept trying to congratulate them for pulling a hilarious prank. When they assured her that they really were asking permission for Hinata to do supplementary training with Anko, she had reportedly gotten a very strange expression before muttering something indistinguishable that they took as permission.

Then again, if they couldn't take hints like that, they probably deserved the full-throttle crazy train coming their way.

She was glad for both of them, actually. Karin's combat abilities were poor and she had really been feeling stifled in the hospital (she had a lot of anger to work off). Hinata's combat stats weren't the greatest either, (and if she never worked up the bravery to go back to the Hyuuga manse and seek out further jyuuken training, they probably wouldn't get much better without Anko's timely intervention) but her real issue was her crippling lack of confidence. She had been gradually opening up, especially at the house, but she still reverted sometimes in public to a stuttering mess. If Anko (the self-proclaimed sexiest kunoichi in Hi no Kuni, most powerful and graceful master of snake ninjutsu and saint for a religion she planned on inventing) couldn't help Hinata gain some rocking abilities and the capacity to recognize them as such, then no one in the world could hope to help that girl.

'Of course, that's if they survive the training.' Aiko snorted in a really unbecoming manner when her two housemates dragged their sorry carcasses to the house about five hours later in the dead of the night while she'd been scribbling in one of her books. "You two look like shit," she cackled, having just flipped on the porch light when she heard a noise. She was in a thin blue yukata instead of her day clothes, but technically decent enough to come greet them.

Karin gave her a hideous look through red-rimmed eyes and snarled, "Bite me!" Hinata made some strange sound she couldn't quite identify.  
From behind them, Anko tutted. "Tsk tsk, Hinata." She shook her head sadly. "What did I say about that? Use your words."  
Hinata whimpered. The snake mistress nudged at her ribs with an elbow.

"What do we say when someone tells us we look like shit?" she patiently coached, looking for all the world like a kindergarten teacher. It was uncanny, and Aiko shivered involuntarily.

The small girl took a deep, shaking breath, looked up at Aiko, and gave a weak and very obviously practiced glare. "Go s-suck a lemon."

Karin grinned feebly, pushing past Aiko into the house and collapsing at the table with her shoes still on. "Atta girl, Hinata."  
Aiko couldn't help but feel proud as well. "Would you like to come in?" She held the door open further to Anko as Hinata shuffled in like a zombie. Anko looked a bit surprised, pointing at herself.

"What, me? I was just walking them home, since I thought the poor babies might collapse. They're out of shape." Karin managed to stick her tongue out at the older woman. The shuriken that Anko idly flung in response thudded into the table a centimeter from her finger. She was apparently too tired to flinch away, shrugging instead and resting her forehead on the table.

"I'm sure," she agreed placidly. "Invitation's still open. I don't have to be up early tomorrow."

Slowly, Anko smiled, looking a bit uncertain. That was about when Aiko realized that Anko was still probably a bit of an outcast and felt like shit for never having invited her over before.

"C'mon." She nudged a pair of house shoes at Anko. "Sorry about it being a spare, I'll get you a pair of your own tomorrow, if princess priss can tolerate the horror of someone using the communal shoes I bought for people to use for one night." Her voice easily carried throughout the house as Hinata shuffled around making quiet noises in the spare bedroom where she had been staying. (At this point, it was almost her bedroom, really).

"Right now, I don't care if she eats them," Karin croaked out from the kitchen.

Anko favored her with an unimpressed look, leaning over to slip off her ninja standard sandals. "You know, you should take a shower before Hinata-chan uses up all the hot water."

Karin actually let out a few tears and a whimper, pushing herself up with shaky arms. "Kill me now, someone. Anyone."

"No one do it," Hinata half-whispered raspily from the bathroom door, catching everyone's attention with an unusually giddy little smile that Aiko thought might signal she was feeling lightheaded. "If I have to feel like this, so do you." Then she slipped inside and quietly shut the door, leaving everyone else in stunned silence before the two kunoichi who didn't ache started laughing nearly hysterically when the water turned on.

"Not funny," Karin wailed.

When they managed to stop laughing, Anko demandingly tugged Aiko into the front room and covertly pulled out a small orange box from her hip pouch… which Aiko was downright shocked to recognize as a digital camera case.

"Before you judge me, I want you to know that I was gauging their ability to work together under adverse circumstances," she began, looking only slightly guilty. "To prove that they had what it took to be my students, you understand. I don't want to train no selfish little brats."

"I don't judge, promise," she mumbled distractedly before prodding at the camera. "Where did you get that?" she breathed, raising an eyebrow. Those things were not cheap. In the kitchen, Karin moaned sadly, but didn't seem to be interested in what they were whispering about.

The older girl shrugged conspiratorially. "Hey, it was my first day as a teacher," she hissed. "I had to immortalize it. For posterity, you understand. Would you like to see them fighting the giant tigers with their legs tied together?"

Aiko blinked, not entirely sure she'd heard that properly. "What, like for a three-legged race?"

Anko nodded seriously. "Yeah, the tigers interrupted, but that was almost better than what I'd planned."

"You are a terrible person," she spoke out loud with too much volume, a bit stunned. Then she snatched at the camera. "I think I'm in love with you. Of course I want to see that."


	29. Chapter 29

"What an impudent little brat," Koharu muttered, feeling the ache in her bones more than usual after repeating the slightly embarrassing story.

And it was embarrassing that her Hokage would all but accuse her of being older than dirt, offer to put in place an advising system that she could actually somewhat trust to keep a Hokage in check (implying that her job had been poorly thought out in the first place), and then metaphorically remind her that Tsunade could always hit her with the door on her way out if they didn't comply gracefully. She felt flustered, depressingly old and feeble and useless, and resentful of having her years of faithful service doubted. Koharu had never kept her position out of lust for power. It was the best way that she could serve the village and she felt that she could still do more good for years to come, especially since Tsunade had barely begun her term. Some of the decisions she had made over the years kept her up at night, but they had not been made out of cruelty or carelessness.

Then again, she actually felt much more comfortable with admitting that Tsunade was actually a capable Hokage than she would have only that morning when she had received a summons to the tower. Her will was strong and she was both clever and fierce. The only problem was that from her perspective it was a kitten's cleverness. Tsunade didn't know the games of wily old cats nearly as well as she should.

Two of her three oldest living friends made sounds of agreement. Danzo coughed into a heavily bandaged fist. She winced internally at the thought of that contamination, but minded her own business.

"What do you plan to do now?"

The question hung in the air between them. Koharu chewed on it, tasted the thought, and found herself at an impasse. "I was not planning to retire for many years now," she reminisced. Then she gave a bitter little laugh. "Of course, I had never expected that little Tsunade-chan would grow such large teeth either."

"I have a grandchild in the Academy," Homura suddenly mused, blinking gummily. "Perhaps… Perhaps there is some reason behind what our Hokage has to say." He gave his companions a sly smile. "Although she doesn't seem to have as many tricks up her sleeve as she really should to try something unprecedented like this. Eh Danzo?"

He didn't smile, but there was a palpable sense of amusement about him. "Indeed."

"I admit I had doubts about Tsunade-chan's suitability for Hokage," Homura spoke quietly. Then he nodded his head shakily as if in agreement with his own statement. "But she has surprised me. She is much… bolder than Sarutobi. When she was elected, Konoha was as weak as it has been since the Nine-Tails wrought havoc on our forces. Yet now we look to have a binding alliance with one of the other great villages. Sand will never be able to bare teeth at us again. Even weakened, no one has been willing to test Konoha's strength with Tsunade leading. If we had a young, powerful shinobi as Hokage, Orochimaru might never have been able to sway Sand against us."

Danzo frowned. "Tsunade herself is not so young," he disagreed calmly. He folded his hands around the top of his cane. "If youth and enthusiasm for the job were the measure of a Hokage's power and ability, perhaps we should consider Sarutobi Konohomaru's name in contention for the title."

It was always disturbing when he made a joke. Koharu exhaled in amusement, tapping her own fingers on her kimono. "Perhaps telling me that Tsunade-chan, who was not yet born when we began our careers, is not young herself is a poor way to sway me into acting against her wishes." He grunted.  
And that was the crux of the matter. Whether or not they wanted to defy the will of their Hokage, who they were sworn to serve. Koharu rather suspected that she and Homura could—they had many allies in the Daimyo's court as well as the respect of the village. But that would become ugly and divisive at a time when Konoha needed to present a united front to her enemies.

She was not proud, but she had defied her Hokage in past. But that had always been on matters of great import, when it seemed that Sarutobi was too weak to do what was best for the village. In this case… well. She was not certain that Tsunade-chan would always make the best decisions, but she could not have that surety about any Kage. Koharu was not oblivious enough to pretend that she would be able to guide the village forever, and nor was she proud enough to believe that it would fail without her. Konoha had stood for many years and would for many years to come.

If she had a reason to fear the risks of fighting with Tsunade on this matter, a sinking feeling that Tsunade had a good argument, and the ability to choose worthy successors to guide Tsunade and the next Hokage (she was not foolish, she knew that Tsunade did not want the job for life) then the only reason to defy Tsunade was out of personal pride.

That Koharu could not indulge in.

________________________________________

"There are ninja festival games?" Karin's eyebrows probably couldn't go any higher into her hairline if she'd actually tried. "Not just the normal civilian ones?"

Aiko snorted, writing down their names on a registration sheet to hand in. "Of course there are. What did you think we were going to do, fleece the civilians at tossing bags of rice at targets and scooping goldfish?"

The fourteen year old huffed and turned away from her companions, embarrassed. "I had my eye on that giant purple bear," she informed darkly.

Hinata giggled, looking surprisingly fresh and cheerful considering her usual shyness and the fact that she was probably suffering muscle pains still. 'Maybe her herbal tea really is that effective?' Aiko eyed the dark-haired girl critically, noting that her movements appeared to be completely free of winces or stiffness. It had been impressive enough that Hinata had mixed a tea blend on her own that actually tasted good and wasn't poisonous, but she had harbored some skepticism about what pain-killing properties it really possessed.

'Well, good for her.' Aiko flounced up to the registration desk and gave the slightly older girl on the other side a winning smile. "Three preregistered for the flower game, please."

"Here you go." The purple-haired girl that Aiko recognized as someone who worked in one of her favorite tea shops gave three pretty colored envelopes after cross-checking their names and doing some fussing around beneath the stand. She took them with thanks and a bow and went back to her companions. By that point, Karin was fussing with Hinata's already perfect hair as a cover for whispering something in her ear.

She decided not to ask, starting to walk towards the smell of something delicious in the stands somewhere and letting them move to catch up. As they passed a stand piled high with pretty rice papers and glitter where volunteers were helping children make paper lanterns to light when it grew dark, Aiko slipped open her envelope and looked at her target for the first time. She had to laugh. She already knew her target.

"Who did you get?" Hinata politely queried instead of flickering on her bloodline to peek. Aiko passed it over. "Oh." Hinata giggled too.

"What's so funny?" Karin took the sheet and read it with a shrug that wrinkled her silk kimono prettily and caught the light. "and what is this game, anyway?"

"This one is a bit like keep-away," Hinata explained quietly, delicately opening her own pink envelope. "Everyone who signed up ahead of time gets a partner selected from the pool of participants and a few paper flowers." She held up her own to demonstrate, but quickly tucked them away when the wind began to tug at them. "Everyone's flowers have their name on them, see? You get rewards for handing in as many flowers as possible at the end of the night, but you don't actually win unless you manage to get one of your target's flowers."

"So it's a stealing game?" Karin shrugged at the photo she pulled out of her own envelope, not knowing the girl who was her partner.

"In part," Aiko answered absentmindedly. "Although it's also to get you to talk to people you don't know. If you can't steal it, you can challenge someone to a contest of your choice for a flower, usually a footrace or something like that. And since only ninja can sign up, stealing is a lot harder than you'd think."

"So… why is it so funny that you got Kotetsu?" Karin prodded her in the side and gave her a smirk. "What, you have a crush on him or something? Isn't he one of the guys who is perpetually stuck as a gate guard?"

Aiko snorted and shoved her back. "Because I didn't realize he'd like this game, most certainly not, and yes, in that order. There's a version of this for Academy students, but since I started playing this one I've never had a partner who I already knew."

"Uzumaki-san!"

The voice was familiar. The fact that it was addressed to her and the enthusiasm with which it did so were unfamiliar. Slowwwwly, she turned to see Lee. "Yes, Lee-san?" Aiko tilted her head curiously, hoping against hope that the word 'challenge' hadn't summoned something too youthful for her to deal with right now.

"You ladies look lovely!" He gave them all a blinding grin and a thumbs-up, feet far apart in his usual 'ready' stance despite how silly it looked in traditional dress. (Marginally less silly than it did in a green jumpsuit, actually, but that was beside the point).

"You look very ni-ice as well," Hinata smiled back shyly, angling her body slightly towards Karin. He did look good- Aiko rather suspected that like her, someone had dressed him for the occasion. It wasn't the most masculine kimono she'd ever seen, but the grass green fabric with lighter green impressions of leaves falling and a cluster of pink blossoms at the bottom suited both the occasion and his personality. He blushed faintly at the compliment, apparently not having expected it.

"Have you seen Ino-san? She has been training me to participate in the ikebana competition, and it starts in only two hours. When I went to the place where I thought we were to meet, I did not find the stand."

Karin puffed up her cheeks like a fish and blew air out the side of her mouth with a slight sound, clearly amused. "Lee-san, that's because no one else is that early. They'll bring the flowers at the last minute so everything is nice for as long as possible."  
He frowned slightly. "I see. So Ino-san will not be here for a while either." He shifted slightly, a bit uncomfortable.

Aiko valiantly resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her own mothering tendencies when her conscience suggested they invite him along until they found Ino. It was like she had some strange need to travel in a pack at all times.

"We're going to go get dango," Hinata offered of her own volition. Aiko tried not to look surprised. The girl was really getting bolder. "Would you like to accompany us?"

Lee flushed deeply pink, mouth moving silently for a second before he grinned and bowed jerkily. "I would be honored to escort you ladies."

She was almost surprised to not find Anko at the dango stand. It seemed like some sort of violation of nature. It was just one of those truths of the world- Anko was the first person to the dango stand and often stayed there long enough to order more than once. It was almost statistically unlikely not to find her there. They found a place to sit in the grass and talked, watching one of the craft stations bubble with children.

A little curious, Aiko squinted her eyes at whatever they were doing. It seemed to involve a lot of help from adults.  
"They're helping the children with origami cranes," Hinata quietly informed her without lifting her head. Karin made a face.  
"I'm no good at those," she declared, leaning against her friend. "All those picky little folds." She scrunched up her nose cutely. "Just, no. Not happening."

Lee looked at them curiously, but said nothing. Aiko sighed, not wanting to hear another tirade about Karin's distaste for origami (sadly, this wasn't the first time). "So, Lee. Are your teammates here?" She tugged off a green dango off the stick with her teeth.

After a while, the festival started to bustle and they wandered around as a group for a while before Ino swept in and carried Lee away in a cloud of perfume and babble about the civilian girl who was apparently her rival at this competition. Aiko pick-pocketed a pretty genin for a purple flower that she tucked into her hair. Then she realized that she hadn't noticed someone taking one of hers at some point, which sparked a laugh at her expense. It might have gone on longer if a quick check hadn't revealed that both her companions were completely out of flowers and someone had even taken Karin's copy of her partner's profile and left their name and address in return with a winky face. They did eventually see Anko shiftily sneaking away from a tea ceremony in full formal dress. Aiko tried not to giggle at how carefully her friend worked to avoid notice from—was that Sarutobi Asuma accompanying Hinata's teacher? Yes, it was.

"Oooh, I bet they're banging like bunnies," Karin mused. Hinata spit out a mouthful of water in surprise, flushing a pretty pink.  
Aiko pursed her lips and really looked at the two—how they angled their bodies towards each other, where their feet and attention was pointed, and how far apart they were standing, and agreed, "Oh yeah. I bet she tops and he likes it when she dresses up."

Hinata gave a strange sound, like someone had stepped on a squirrel. Karin nudged her. "Hey now, don't be so uptight." She made a kissy sound. "I know you're interested, don't deny it. They're a beautiful couple."

"Yeah, I totally ship them," Aiko agreed absentmindedly, scanning the crowd for any Chuunin gate guards. The lack of response other than confused looks registered after a while. She blinked. "What?"

"What does 'ship them' mean?" Hinata asked.

'Oh. Duh. English phrase.' 

She tapped her index finger against her lip, trying to think of an explanation. "It means," she decided, "that I think they should be a couple even if they aren't, and that when I write my inevitable tell-all dojinshi, I will claim that they are and make up an adorable relationship for them."

Karin choked. "Is… is that what all those books you've written in your room are like?"

She shook her head. "No, but it sounds fun." She had a wicked idea and a smile to match at that moment. "Hey, you two should help me write friend fiction." A pause. Then an explanation. "Friend fiction being stories about people we know, I mean."

"I like it," Hinata said suddenly, turning to face her and walking backwards. "That sounds fun. But…" she worried at her lip. "We're not going to tell Kurenai-sensei, right?"

"Probably not," Karin agreed easily, tossing her arms in the air and stretching. "Then it's decided! Tonight we write their steamy romance! It'll probably involve a lot of banging."

"I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear whatever that was," Sasuke said blandly, nursing a blank expression and a tall coffee that had clearly not come from the festival.

Aiko blinked in surprise. Karin fluttered her eyelashes. Hinata ducked her face and mumbled something.

"I didn't expect to see you here," Aiko offered when no one else spoke. "I guess it just didn't seem like something you'd enjoy. I'm glad to be wrong- you look very nice." She turned her face slightly and opened her mouth as she gave a theatrical wink. He did, of course, but he sort of always looked polished. He was the type of person who could wear a hospital gown on the runway and inspire a whole collection.

He looked away and scoffed, seeming to recede slightly into his dark blue kimono. "You were wrong. I'm here because I have to be when the old lady gives her address."

Some part of her registered humor at the fact that Sasuke had apparently adopted Naruto's irreverent nickname for their Hokage. Another part was busy marveling that she had somehow managed to forget that the spring festival was the event when the Hokage gave what she likened to a 'State of the Union' address. For some reason, she'd subconsciously thought that the Third Hokage's permanent retirement meant that the yearly speeches he gave were over too.

'Damn.' She didn't pout, but it was close. This was always so boring.

"Well, I'm glad you're here," Karin purred, snuggling into Hinata. "How have you been? I haven't seen you at the hospital in over a week, Sasuke-kun."

He gave her a mildly disturbed look, apparently not prepared to cope with her less professional side. "Fine."

"They're coming out," Hinata informed the group quietly. It was true—a few figures were visible gathering on the balcony overlooking the fairground. They weren't about to speak yet, however. Karin gave a start and opened her mouth to say something, turning around behind the group. Sasuke immediately stiffened and turned to follow her gaze.

"Mind if we stand with you? I'm afraid we don't know many people here."

Aiko didn't bother, having already sensed that Temari and Gaara were behind them. "Not at all." Hinata edged away, nearly hiding behind Karin and getting far closer to Sasuke than she usually would have risked when Temari came to stand by Aiko's left, Gaara next to her staring impassively forward.

"Thanks." The older girl gave a smile like sunshine that didn't quite fit her features but was altogether charming, and Aiko couldn't help but smile back.

"Everyone, this is Temari and Gaara. Gaara and Temari, this is my cousin Karin, our friend Hinata, and-"

"We've met," Sasuke interrupted shortly, turning away completely.

"Touchy," Temari hummed with a crooked smile.

________________________________________  
As usual, Aiko did her best to take a nap standing on her feet when the endless speeches began. They weren't very long, but she wasn't very interested until she heard something that genuinely surprised her.

'The Council is retiring?'

She almost wished she was closer so that she could judge their expressions, but they seemed perfectly amiable when they waved and talked about the changes and who they had chosen to replace them. That was a riot that sent Hinata into laughter—Iruka-sensei? Gai? The scary man from the Chuunin exams? She didn't know the other two names, but the gamut she was familiar with was so wide that she couldn't help but find it funny.

When done speaking, the Council of Elders stepped back next to the Third Hokage where he leaned over the railing quietly while Tsunade resumed her talk. Something about the will of fire, gathering strength and powerful allies, (Gaara made a funny twitch that she barely caught) and basically just congratulated everyone for surviving another year. By that point, the sun was just setting, so it was with perfect timing that Tsunade ceremonially lit the first lights of the night.

Of course, this was a ninja village, so she did so with a theatrical spout of flame that caught onto a complicated system of wires and paper that lit hundreds of tiny lights inside the closest trees. The crowd positively roared with approval and parents began lighting their own tea candles to go in paper lanterns to light the way to the rest of the festival.

"That was less boring than I expected," Aiko mused when all was said and done. Hinata had a very serious mien, but Karin just looked bored. Sasuke had disappeared in a flicker almost immediately after Tsunade had left sight.

"Is it really so interesting that old people retired?" She put her hands on her hipbones and leaned back into a slight stretch. Temari gave an impolite snort, but observed them interestedly. She had no idea what was going on in Gaara's head, but he was quiet and still.

"Kind of," Aiko admitted. "They've had their positions for something like fifty years, and there isn't a set precedent for this. They could have theoretically kept their positions until they died."

And to the best of her foreknowledge, they had. How odd.

"Look, they're going to fall over at any moment," Karin said dryly, blinking in the rapid way that Aiko knew meant her contacts were bothering her. "It's a good thing they retired, and the new system makes a lot more sense." She shivered when the wind picked up a bit. "What else is there to do here, since the incredibly good-looking people who matter already lost the flower game miserably?"

"We could rent a boat," Hinata suggested timidly with a glance at the sand nin. She seemed to gather bravery from their lack of negative response, and continued, "Or we could see the flower arrangements Ino-san and Lee-san made."

"That would be nice," Aiko agreed. "and isn't that on the way to the closest temple? We could get a blessing."

"I don't care what we do, but we're going to have to avoid main street." Karin tossed her hair. "I might hurt someone if I have to hear the woman from down the row who has been practicing her koto every night for a week."

"Fair enough," Aiko agreed. She wasn't a fan either. "C'mon." She threaded her hands into her sleeves, touching the cold metal stored underneath for comfort. Then she looked back at a rather perplexed-looking Temari. "Are you two coming with?"  
"Um, sure," she agreed, glancing at her brother. "If we're invited."

"Of course you are," Hinata gave a tiny bow and uncertain smile. Karin rolled her eyes fondly.

"Let's hurry, the crowd is starting to disperse. I don't want to be caught up in the worst of it."

Aiko rather enjoyed the press of bodies- she saw both Kotetsu and Izumo and took the chance to steal the flower from her target's lapel with a giggle. He saw her, but rolled his eyes and made a fake pout without interrupting his conversation. She took a moment to wonder where Kakashi-shishou was and hope he was having fun, even though he almost certainly had not come to the festival.

"I bet they're a couple," Karin muttered quietly. Temari gave a little jump.

Hinata pressed her lips together tightly, but failed to suppress a smile. "They keep saying they're not when Kiba asks, but I really doubt it," she whispered back, tossing her own look at the two Chuunin.

"I don't think I've ever seen one without the other," Aiko agreed before throwing her hands up. "Ah, young love. So cute!"  
"I…" Hinata swallowed uncertainly, but forged ahead. Blinking, she forced out, "I ship it!" Karin burst into laughter and gave her a congratulatory high-five, and Aiko had to join in giggling.

"You people are weird," Temari muttered. Nonetheless, she stuck with them and obligingly got a blessing from the priest they found. Gaara didn't—he showed emotion for the first time that night and glared the man away from him. His sister flushed a little and apologized for him, but the man didn't seem to mind much.

When they finally found the ikebana display, it became clear that Ino was enjoying showing off the enormous flower pin in her hair that apparently was a gift to the winner. It was lucky she'd taken first, because if Lee (who had second place and edged out Ino's actual rival) had received it, doubtless he wouldn't have worn it.

'Lee must have practiced this the same way he does everything else.' Aiko smiled lopsidedly while her more knowledgeable companions talked about the pieces to their creators. Temari nudged her, looking uncomfortable. "Any idea what they're talking about?" she asked lowly.

Aiko shook her head amiably. "Not a clue. I'm terrible at all the girlish stuff, I just smile and nod and do what they tell me." She pulled at her kimono. "They dressed me, if you can't tell." She glanced at the two of them. "Not big fans of dressing up either?"

Temari snorted. "Not really, no."

Aiko hmmed absentmindedly. "Shame. You'd look really pretty in one of these. You have a better build for it than I do, actually. Want to go get naked and trade?" She gave a lascivious wink.

Temari's jaw dropped, and she really looked at the younger girl for the first time. But she didn't speak.

"I think I broke your sister," she said conversationally, turning to Gaara. He looked at her dully. "Sorry about that."

'I'm always surprised by how gravelly his voice is,' she mused when he finally spoke. Then the words registered.

"Kankuro informs me that she has always been dysfunctional." The tone was without inflection—it could only be a joke, but he'd said it so deadpan that she wasn't entirely sure. Temari rolled her eyes and whacked at the back of his head with her palm as if by reflex before stiffening, wide-eyed. After a second when nothing happened, she unfroze with a sheepish expression.

"Wellll, if Kankuro says it, it must be true," Aiko dragged out teasingly.

Temari gave a good-natured scowl and whacked the back of Aiko's head for good measure. "Honestly, you two shouldn't gang up and bully me. It'll hurt my delicate feelings for sure."  
________________________________________  
"She's perfect," Temari muttered sourly to herself that night, staring up at the ceiling. The kid effortlessly side-stepped Gaara's awkwardness in a way that made it seem she hadn't noticed. She was also violent and rude, which appealed to her for some reason. Temari had already known the girl was at least a competent ninja, but when she'd seen her at the festival dressed up like a doll she'd assumed her head was full of fluff. It had been a poor assumption, and she berated herself for letting stereotypes mislead her. Even in that kimono, the way the younger girl walked had hinted at long knives hidden on her thighs, shuriken in her sleeves, and doubtless other things Temari couldn't catch indication of.

Plus she had attitude.

The only downside was that she was apparently a total pervert, but her brother was thirteen. Doubtless, soon that would appeal to him. Any day now, in fact. (She gave him a suspicious look. He gave her a confused one in return).  
________________________________________  
Kind of a floofy chapter, but it still moved some things along


	30. Crucially Bouncy

"Aiko."

The girl in question blinked warily. The first thing she really registered about her abrupt awakening was that she was levered up in bed with one hand gripping the metal of the kunai that she kept at her bedside. The second was that Sasuke didn't usually wake her up in the middle of the night by coming in through her bedroom window (how did he get past the sensory seal she'd put up? That was mildly disturbing.).

Her first real thought was that something had to be very wrong. "Sasuke?" She flung the covers off and let her toes touch the cold floor with only a little grimace before she looked up at him. His eyes were even harder to read than usual, as they blended into the dark.

"I need to talk to you about something important." He paused, as if the next worlds physically pained him. "I need help."

"What do you need?" she paused for a moment. "And do I need my gear?"

"Not that kind of help."

"Okay." She took that as permission to make herself slightly less indecent by wrapping a house yukata on and tying it loosely. It was hot out, so she'd gone to bed in clingy shorts and a tank top.

Actually, he was lucky she hadn't been less clothed, she thought somewhat wryly with the part of her being that wasn't totally panicking over what the hell Sasuke might need so badly that he'd come to her in the dead of night.

"I'm decent. Can we talk in the front room, or are you worried about waking up the other two girls?" When he grimaced, she took that as a desire for more privacy and folded her legs criss-cross on her bed, patting beside her to invite him to sit. "What's happened?"

And then he actually sank down onto the fluffy futon. She tried not to goggle- holy hell, he must be exhausted or really out of sorts or something. That just wasn't Sasuke-like behavior.

"Three days ago, Shizune told me that…" He abruptly stopped and started again. "The Uchiha didn't encourage mixing with outsiders. It had never occurred to me that anyone had defied that." He gave a bitter little laugh. "I suppose it's lucky that it didn't occur to Itachi either."

Something clicked. "Sasuke… Are you trying to tell me you have family in the village?"

He nodded blankly, seeming to stare down at his hands. "I had a cousin once removed on my mother's side who had apparently been seeing a girl outside the clan when… He was seeing a girl six years ago in secret. Second generation Chuunin from a family of merchants." He made a strange sound that was almost a laugh. "My family would never have approved. And now… she's the only family I have. I don't know what to do. I haven't seen her yet. She's five now. And sick. Very sick. Apparently there's a family disease no one liked to talk about."

'Well, that sounds familiar'. Aiko rubbed at her face harshly with both hands, trying to get her thoughts in order. This… this was huge. She swallowed. God, where do you begin with something like this?

"Have you met her mother?" Aiko instantly knew that was the wrong question. He shook his head sharply.

"She's dead. About a year now. The girl- Fukiko lives with her aunt." He paused, and actually bit at his lip.

'It's so strange to see Sasuke looking young and uncertain.' She felt a rush of sympathy. "Do you want to get to know her?" she asked kindly. "It's understandable if you do."

"But selfish." He practically spat, hands clenching around the sheets. "If Itachi found out—if anyone found out, she'd be in danger. Now she's just some bastard orphan and no one cares."

"Don't say that," she snapped back automatically. "She is not. She's your cousin, Uchiha Fukiko and she's going to be totally badass when she grows up. Unless she doesn't want to be a kunoichi, in which case she's going to be amazing in some other way. And you'll be beating off the boys with a stick, probably the girls too". 'I've seen pictures of your family, you beautiful bastard. The pretty is genetic.'

She didn't want to make the sexist claim that 'boys are dumb'. Really, the problem here had more to do with his age, deeply held issues about family conflicting with his formative beliefs about what it meant to be kin, and his total lack of experience with the under-12 crowd. But it would have been easier to lament that boys are dumb at that moment.

Aiko scooted to sit directly beside him and leaned in. "This is the point where I give you a hug and you don't fight it. Because you need it, yeah." He glared weakly at her, but didn't protest when she wrapped her arms around his chest and rubbed at his back. "I think you should meet her. But your worry about keeping her secret isn't totally unfounded."

"We live in a ninja village," he deadpanned. "Someone is going to notice when I go to visit a black haired, black-eyed five year old. They're either going to assume I'm having an affair with the aunt or go do some investigating of their own. I'm not known for my love of children."

That was when a horrible, wicked thought occurred.

"You could be."

He actually recoiled at that.

Aiko puffed up her cheeks and blew the air out the side of her mouth as if to dismiss his skepticism. "No, really. I'm serious. I think that you should do a medical mastery project in pediatrics. You'd want to keep the specifics of what she's ill with very hush-hush, and obscure it by having a couple regular patients."

He stared. Really just stared.

It was both brilliant and completely stupid. People might question the apparent personality change, but not many people knew him at all and he had plenty of hidden depths. (Hard not to when you almost never talk to anyone about anything deeper than a mission report or lunch). Besides, all the gawking had probably already been done been Tsunade trotted him out as her new apprentice. And if she was right, he might be talking about the same obscure disease Itachi had… which was the only way she could see for him to have a chance at being helped at some point in the future.

She wasn't sure how to get to that point exactly, but she did know that the fate laid out for Itachi- dying at age 22 by a combination of sickness and suicide-by-brother was one she wanted to prevent. Not least because of what that would do to Sasuke. Aiko knew that she couldn't possibly understand what was going on in Itachi's head. Their experiences were far too different even without factoring the mental and emotional conditioning that he had doubtlessly bought into much more than she had, and he had made difficult choices she couldn't even dream about. She felt queasy at the thought of being asked to kill Kakashi-shishou or Sasuke or Hinata or Karin, even if it would save Naruto. She could have done it a year ago before she knew any of the last three very well. (She still couldn't physically kill shishou if she wanted to if he was in any condition slightly better than a coma, so that was a moot point). But now?

Uchiha Itachi was both completely mystifying (terrifyingly foreign) and someone she wanted to save. But that didn't mean that she was going to ignore the thought that his plan for life was completely insane. The last part, at least. Finding out that Itachi was innocent (and he would, he was Sasuke for crap's sake) after he'd killed the man would break Sasuke, or at least damage him irreparably.

"Why'd you come to me?" she asked, honestly curious about the answer. She hadn't thought they were that close.  
He merely shrugged, then gave her a slightly disdainful look. "Who else was I going to ask about what it was like to raise a child? Kakashi? Shizune? Tsunade?"

The sarcasm was almost poisonous by the end, and she found herself giggling. "Okay, you have a point," she conceded. "and I will do my best to help you!" She gave him a cheesy grin just to see him roll his eyes at her. "Luckily for you, my best is much better than everyone else's, so everything is going to be fine."

________________________________________  
After that wake-up call, it had been impossible to even consider going back to sleep. Instead Aiko began her morning conditioning significantly earlier than usual, running sprints around the village before the sky even hinted at a sunrise.

She was hitting a plateau in her speed training where it was much harder to get to the point of leg-shaking nausea that meant she had pushed herself again, but she wanted to get faster. Much faster. The only thing to do was go further and faster every day. She ran and ran and actually passed by Gai and Lee more than a couple of times when they got up to do their morning exercises, running around the village clockwise instead of her anti-clockwise. She also passed a gaggle of tiny girls who had to be ambitious Academy students, which made her smile and wave. It was hard not to giggle when they 'not whispered' far too loudly to each other about 'that was a real kunoichi, did you see?'.

Her failure to adequately prepare herself for an intense workout made itself known a few hours after dawn when she was brutalizing a training post. It manifested as a horrible sound from the region of her stomach that actually caused her to jump in surprise and take note of her hunger for the first time.

She stopped, mildly bewildered. 'I'm glad shishou wasn't here to see I'm such an incompetent nin that I can't even keep track of my own body.'

Then she had to extend her chakra senses to make sure she really was alone. Shishou was a sneaky bastard and he always seemed to be there precisely when she didn't want him to be. Luckily, she really did seem to be alone.

She roughly guessed by how long she'd been out that it must have been about seven in the morning when she made her way home to find that her two housemates had already left to workout. There was a note on the table from Karin about dinner, with a jotted addition from Anko informing/begging for dinner as well that made her laugh.

"When did I become the mom figure?" Aiko looked around the empty house, a bit baffled by just how much her life had changed. She had a sudden bout of homesickness- it was really more like 'NarutoSickness', really. Being separated from him was very strange. She hadn't realized that he had become an emotional crutch for her to the extent that she would constantly miss him or wonder what he might have thought about something.

She shook the strange thoughts away, taking a shower and dressing plainly again- in green this time, slightly influenced by her almost-partners in her workout that morning. Without blowdrying it, she tugged her hair back into a messy bun and left the house in search of a speedy breakfast. By that point she was ravenous, and it was hard to want to go through the motions of making her own food.

The streets were bustling at that time, and she had to wait a few minutes for a table and a few minutes more after she'd been seated for the same girl who'd helped her at the festival to come and take her order. "How did that end, by the way?" she asked absentmindedly after they'd mutually confirmed that the other had a good night after they'd parted.

She gave a laugh like a bell, clear and beautiful. "How does it ever end?"

Aiko snorted. "I suppose I thought Maito-san would be too preoccupied." She'd assumed he was busy making nice with the important people, since she didn't see him with Lee all night.

"Too-preoccupied to challenge half the village to fisticuffs, ikebana, and making sparkly paper lanterns to compete for paper flowers?" She raised an eyebrow neatly. "He destroyed the competition again, I think he had a hundred something this year. He's never too preoccupied for that. I think he lives for this festival."

"When you put it that way…"

The food was both speedy and excellent. After she'd wolfed most of it down, Aiko pushed away her bowl of fruit and pulled out the book she was currently working on. She was constantly surprised by her own memory for long-ago read literature (or never read, in one sense of the word). It seemed that the more of it she wrote, the more she remembered. She had a book where she was currently transcribing what she remembered of Shakespearian poetry, but this book was an altogether more frivolous collection of movies written as books. It was actually a more creative a project than re-writing books in some ways, since she had to abandon the visual aspects of the film (aside from occasional sketches in the pages) in favor of introspection and other narrative strategies.

Besides, translation was actually a form of art as well, and she wasn't dumb enough to leave large examples of English script around. For one thing she couldn't possibly explain it, and secondly it wouldn't be useful as code between her and Naruto if there were enough examples for someone like Shikamaru to figure out the language on their own. (and someone would be able to. There was always someone smarter than you, no matter how clever you thought you were. Unless you were Kakashi-shishou, in which case you were perfect, but that was beside the point.)

Chihero was hugging her clothes outside the bathhouse, having just broken through the spell that stole her name when someone tapped on her shoulder and Aiko put down her pencil to glance up at Ino. "Hey, girl," she greeted absently. "You look nice this morning."

She looked like she always did, actually, but it was best to lie to Ino. Even Ino's bad days were still pretty anyways, so it didn't much matter.

"And you look tired," Ino replied primly, giving her a one-armed hug around the shoulders and peering nosily down at the book.  
That was probably true.

"What are you writing?"

Aiko fidgeted uncomfortably, fighting the urge to rudely shut the book. "Nothing important." It just felt strange to have someone else reading what she wrote, even if it wasn't totally her intellectual property. It was like she would be sharing far too much of herself.

The blonde rolled her eyes and snatched the book, flipping to the front page to see the illustrated title page. She squinted at it for a second before thumbing through the pages rapidly. "I didn't know you had any artistic ability. Those pictures are really pretty."

'They should be. I had years to just practice sketching while Iruka was lecturing in the Academy.' 

"Thank you," she said instead of the more honest but less admirable sentiment in her head. "Can I have it back now? I feel really anxious watching you read it."

Ino shot her a look that probed far too much for her comfort, and she suddenly remembered just how sharp the other girl was. "Here." She sat down across from Aiko and stole a sip out of her ice water, wiping her hand on a napkin with a grimace at the condensation. "Is that what you used to do all the time when we were little- write and draw? I sort of assumed it was something academic and not stories." Unspoken was the, 'I misjudged you and am now re-evaluating' that crossed Ino's eyes.  
She took a moment to curse the Yamanaka for teaching their children clinical psychology (even if it was nowhere up to her standards).

"Yes. I write a lot, actually."

Ino pursed her lips. "Hmm. Would it bother you to lend me a couple if you didn't have to watch me read them?"  
Aiko rolled her eyes. "It's not that interesting, but sure. Not that one though, it's nowhere near done." My neighbor Totoro, on the other hand, she had recently finished. That might appeal to Ino. "If you want, we could go to my house and you could pick out a couple."

"How many do you have?" Ino asked nonchalantly, popping a bit of melon in her mouth from Aiko's forgotten bowl. She nearly choked on it when she got her answer- an approximation, since Aiko didn't really keep track. "For real? Girl, when do you have that kind of time?"

Aiko debated the wisdom of telling Ino that she hardly slept and anyways, that when all one had to do was work out maybe six to eight hours and eat a few times a day there were hours and hours left available for writing, but merely shrugged instead.

Ino goggled at the shelves that lined Aiko's bedroom, but placidly enough took the books Aiko handed her and a few more with pretty covers. It wasn't the best way to judge books, but she just shrugged. It didn't really matter…. Although Ino would be the first person to ever read anything she'd written, actually. She had told some of the stories to Naruto when they were little, but he'd never wanted to read them. He'd never really become fond of it, and Aiko actually suspected he had undiagnosed dyslexia.  
"I'll return them when I'm done," Ino informed easily while she shoved her feet back into her sandals at the door. "This is actually great, I'm working in the shop all week and I needed something to read."

Aiko furrowed her brow awkwardly. "You're welcome, I think?"

"That's correct. Thank me, your gorgeous rival." Ino lifted her chin up and posed haughtily, one hand flicking out her long, sleek hair with a 'schwick' sound and sending it fanning behind her.

She snorted rudely. "Not much of a rival, Ino." The other girl had joked about fighting for the top kunoichi spot way back when, but after Aiko had graduated early she'd thought that was over. You couldn't have a rival who was just starting their shinobi career, could you? Then she was arrested by blue eyes when the other girl turned back to her.

"Don't dismiss me," Ino snapped. "I'm a damn good kunoichi too." She tossed her hair over a shoulder. "You owe me a workout, you know. We never started back up after you cancelled to work with the crazy snake lady."

That was fair enough, so they set a time to meet up and parted ways.

________________________________________  
Kankuro actually put down the tiny screwdriver he'd been using to remove a spring lever that needed maintenance. He opened his mouth and tried to say something a few times, eventually closing his eyes and pushing his puppet away so he could rest his elbows on his workspace. He deposited his face in his hands and took a long moment to decide what part of the ridiculous statement Temari had just made deserved a more immediate reply.

Things had been more peaceful without his siblings. He almost regretted that they'd come back so soon. He'd gotten so much work done uninterrupted and slept much better when there was no chance of waking up to see light reflecting off Gaara's unblinking eyes (the kid was still fucking creepy sometimes even now that he was trying to be all touchy-feely).

He just couldn't make a decision on his reply. It all sounded ridiculous. But did the part of her response to the politely disinterested 'How was Konoha' that was 'I'm nominating Gaara for Kazekage', deserve a speedier response than the continuation 'he may have a girlfriend now, by the way'? He knew he probably should respond to the bit about being allies with Konoha now, but… but...

"How does that even work?" He pushed back his hood and fisted a hand in his hair, tilting his head to look up at her smug little grin. She always liked blindsiding him. "Gaara? Girl? Gaara?" He made an inarticulate sound of frustration from the back of his throat.

Temari gave a smoothly controlled shrug. "Honestly, I'm a little confused too. I was exaggerating a bit. She flirts with him and he seems to want to spend time with her to the point of agreeing to stay for their festival. But I don't think he actually has a sense of romantic interest yet."

That was marginally less terrifying. Gaara was scary enough without excess hormones making him moody and horny. Please god no, not for a few more years. Maybe sometime in the future he'd be brave enough to tease Gaara about it, but not now. So he changed the subject. "So… Kazekage, huh." His voice was flat. "Why."

His sister leapt straight up and took a perch on the edge of the tall wooden workspace that lined the room (and he took a moment to marvel at just how birdlike she was) and gave him one of her sharp little smiles. "He wants to, of course. And how many S-class shinobi do we really have? If we're honest, we only have one candidate. The Council is just wasting time and resources."

The Council of elders was jockeying for power like a bunch of whiny children, nominating themselves and relatives. It was all rather pathetic.

Gaara didn't want to rule by fear. He wanted to become Kazekage because people saw him and trusted him to protect them, not because they were too frightened to say no. But Temari rather thought that he was going to have to gain their trust as Kazekage instead of before, because the time to act was now. Sand had already been leaderless for months. But by sending her to make negotiations, they had inadvertently empowered Temari far too much if they wanted to control the field. They had made her responsible for the alliance that could save their skins and acknowledged her as the most qualified to make decisions about Sand's future.

She was going to strangle them with the loose leash they'd given her.

That wasn't the only trick up Temari's sleeve, actually. Gaara wouldn't like it, but if things looked to be going badly she was going to clobber the Elders with the full force of the borrowed clout she had from Tsunade. It would reek of Leaf trying to put a puppet government in place in Sand, but that impression could be rectified eventually. Temari was persuasive.  
She'd had to be to get that damn Senju woman to take her side, actually. At first, the older woman had seemed mildly amused by her impudence and made the point that she had no place in Sand's politics. Temari knew where she was coming from—if Tsunade endorsed Gaara and another candidate became Kazekage, that could severely damage their relations.

On the other hand, as she made clear, if she helped put Gaara in power then she could be sure that their alliance would be nigh unbreakable. She hadn't wanted to admit what a strong hold Konoha had over her brother, but the Hokage probably knew all about whatever world-altering charisma Uzumaki Naruto had used on her hapless brother. She'd allowed him in the village, so she must have.

It had been a game of convincing her that there was much more for Leaf to gain than to lose in the venture with little risk. There were few who were willing to stand up to Gaara. He apparently wasn't smashing people who displeased him any longer, so she was going to have to settle for reasoning with them. (Inconvenient, that he'd given it up just when she needed it). Temari didn't like that idea much, but she liked it much better when she had financial and other backing from one of the most powerful villages in the continent.

________________________________________

Naruto pouted up at the ceiling of the hotel room, bored beyond belief. He'd been forbidden to train any further that day on what he'd been working on. The old man didn't want him using destructive jutsu unsupervised.

On one hand, Naruto recognized the logical value of that order. On the other hand, his teacher was a big dumb pervert with a big dumb face. Also he was dumb. Had Naruto mentioned that? "I bet he'd pay more attention to me if I were a pretty girl," Naruto muttered without really thinking about just how terrible and traumatizing that attention would be. And then he had an idea both terrible and brilliant.

He had been told to practice with his solid shadow clones, after all. Perhaps he could combine that directive with his prankalicious thought about a girlie alter-ego.

Naruto bounced nearly a foot in the air as he escaped the bed, scurrying to the full-length mirror and examining his reflection. He'd apply a standard henge first to figure out what he wanted to look like, and then figure out how to make a solid clone shell over it. He could make an actual clone, but that seemed less fun that doing it himself.

He studied his features, noting the too-sharp teeth, jaw that was just starting to turn square, and how his shoulders were getting to be too broad to be girlish. Hmm. This would need some thinking.

"If I were a girl, what would I look like?"

Then he snorted. That was a stupid question. He already had a model, no thinking required. He transformed into his sister in one of her weirdly boring outfits. (She had like a thousand of them, but they were all almost the same. He didn't get the point.) Now he was a pretty girl, but far too young even for the pervert. He scrunched up his nose in thought, remembering how those girls in the movie posters always looked. Aiko already had really long legs, but…. Poof. They became even longer, and curvier. But they looked strange coming out of her hips, so… poof. He swiveled, modeling and checking other angles.

"My ass is fantastic," Naruto muttered with some satisfaction. Or was it Aiko's ass? Whatever. He put both hands on his hips and straightened his torso exaggeratedly, eying the slight bumps of a precocious 13 year old. "Too flat to interest the pervert." He had to consciously work on not blushing at that thought. It was weird critically analyzing his sister's body. Maybe he should have used another girl as a base, but he'd started off by thinking he was going to make a girl version of himself, not a sexy version of like, Ino or something. His mind supplied what that might looked like. Then he really did blush and felt a little strange.

'Maybe it's better if it's my sister after all,' he flushed, going back to his project. Some experimental bouncing demonstrated that what he'd given himself for a chest was the wrong texture completely, so he poofed it away and tried again, applying the henge three more times until he was satisfied with the results. His observations had indicated that bouncing was important, though Naruto wasn't exactly certain why.

Now the face looked too young for the body, though. He scrunched up Aiko's nose in thought (it was straight and small, much like his) and elongated her face slightly, flattening the last hints of baby fat in her cheeks. That was a step in the right direction, so he exaggerated her cheekbones and widened her eyes slightly for extra cuteness. "I'm awesome!" He gave himself a thumbs-up, and then immediately cringed at both how the boyish posture looked with this body and how masculine the hands still were. He'd forgotten about that. He'd have to fix both of those things.

Of course, now the outfit was pulling in weird ways and messing with the total effect…

When Jiraiya returned to his hotel room, he expected to find his blonde apprentice glaring at him with all the ferocity of a wronged kitten. (It was almost worth teasing the kid to see him puff out his cheeks and pout. Minato had done that too). He was conflicted on what he found instead. Should he wonder where the boy was? Had he wandered into the wrong hotel room? And who got ready for bed at nine at night, anyway?

He collapsed against the doorframe, nose slowly leaking blood as the very nude, very fit, unnaturally pretty redhead in the room just dropping her silk robe gave a girly squeal and moved to cover herself with her hands. It was not very successful.

"W…would you pay attention to me?" She blinked up at him prettily and blushed pink, and all of the available blood for thinking departed, ending all those stupid thought about how strange the situation was. He grinned stupidly. Wow, those were some intense eyes. He was a sucker for pretty eyes, although most wouldn't guess it.

"Whatever you want, baby."

She bounced. And then so did her chest for a few precious seconds later. She clasped delicate, pretty hands in front of it, blocking a very important view. It took him a moment to register the oddity of what she said next, and the slightly lower tone in which it was said.

"I thought so, you old pervert."

And suddenly the pretty girl was gone and his apprentice was there laughing at him and pointing and saying something about I knew you would pay attention to me if I were a pretty girl and Jiraiya had to stop for a moment because his brain was crying 'Oh god, I just got an erection from a 13 year old boy' and was answered by the equally horrifying defensive 'he's almost fourteen' but other parts of him were wondering where the hell he could find a girl like that, hopefully now, please.

But he couldn't let the kid think he'd been disturbed, or else this would get used against him again. That he could not abide. Jiraiya valiantly rallied his senses to put on the super pervert act again (Well. Sometimes it was an act).

That was about when he absorbed the babble that Naruto had based the solid transformation off of his sister and Jiraiya had to stumble to the bathroom to throw up. That might put him off onsen watching for a whole week.

He banged his head against the bathroom wall, ignoring whatever questions his apprentice was asking. He was scum. He was lower than scum. He was attracted to his godson pretending to be his goddaughter. Oh god. Oh god.

He threw up again.


	31. Chapter 31

A lesser man would have been panicking. As it was, Yakushi Kabuto would have preferred a less stressful situation, but he was able to keep any traces of unease hidden. This had not gone as expected at all.

His message to Sasori, given using the same techniques that the puppet master thought meant Kabuto was under his control, had been sent as usual. The missive he'd received in place had requested a meeting in person, but that wasn't so unusual that he had been alarmed. He was certain that he would bluff his way through and acquire the backing he needed to run his fledgling village.

He was now alarmed.

"And who, pray tell, are you?" Kabuto bluffed calmness that he did not feel. He was a formidable foe himself, but it was easy enough to see that the masked man who had come to meet him in lieu of Sasori was out of Kabuto's league entirely.

"That's not important," rumbled out from behind a swirled mask. The effect was disorienting and Kabuto had to suppress a shudder and the desire to make a tactical retreat. How had he missed a large player like this? What had happened to Sasori- was he dead, or had the message been intercepted at the start?

"What is important, Yakushi Kabuto, is that you work for me now." The mask came down, and the world turned red.

When Kabuto returned to the Sound hideout in Grass, he impassively countermanded his earlier orders about patrolling the borders and collecting taxes (and new medical subjects from those who declined to pay taxes) from their new citizens. Tayuya scoffed at his wishy-washy behavior, but didn't care much what the little prick did. She'd rather have a real fight than babysit whinging babies anyway.

Takigakure, huh? She didn't know shit about it other than that it was one of the minor villages, but that was fine. She was good at killing strangers.

Good at killing people she knew, too. She let a smirk slip onto her face as she jerkily bowed to her 'kage' and left the room. What he didn't know would definitely hurt him.

________________________________________

"Ready?"

Sasuke might have rolled his eyes in another situation. Of course he was ready. He was only watching the surgery. He didn't quite understand why Tsunade and Shizune thought it was such a major step—he would be providing the bulk of the medical chakra that Shizune actually manipulated for this surgery. She didn't need the help, of course. It was the only way to introduce how it really felt to manipulate internal organs of living beings without the sink-or-swim method, which tended to end up in a lot of dead patients and unconfident surgeons (and that was not done in Konoha anymore, unlike in pretty much every other shinobi village).

The surgery went off without a single hiccup, as he had completely expected. Shizune-senpai was a professional, and it was not an especially complicated task. Medical mask and gloves discarded, he abandoned his senpai and went back to the administration tower to report the results back to Tsunade after Shizune had filed the paperwork for the poor overworked hospital director himself. ("I'm too old for this shit," he'd muttered rather rebelliously. Shizune had given a nervous laugh and carefully not mentioned that it had been her idea to put the hospital director on the advisory council).

The place was bustling, much more so than Sasuke would have expected for the afternoon. He turned right back around and went to go get precious caffeine. Few people could tolerate a shit storm like that without something to soothe their nerves, and he knew the secretary was on holiday with her family. Tsunade would be on her last nerve, if not actually punching holes in walls. Sasuke hated putting up drywall. This was just easier. Spotting Ibiki and two Chuunin he knew worked in codes waiting in the lobby when he returned gave him a clue as to what was going on, but it wasn't until he'd managed to hand Tsunade a gigantic latte that he got any sense at to this urgency of the situation at all.

"Have I ever told you that you're my best apprentice?" She ignored the red-faced man who had been babbling about something and took a long drink. "Ah. That hits the spot. You can go now." Tsunade waved dismissively, getting out of her chair and all but shoving him out of her office so that she could leave as well. "You coming?"

Sasuke followed, slightly amused and also slightly annoyed at being treated like a dog. Sit, stay, follow, re-connect metatarsals, and then roll over, why don't you? Nonetheless, he remained silent as the Hokage strode purposefully down to the mission office and put her hands on her hips. "All of you, go home for the day. I am. I will be taking this new information into consideration and you can expect new orders tomorrow. Now get the hell out."

They scattered obediently. Sasuke smirked. At least it wasn't just him.

"Get Shizune and meet me at my house, would you?" Tsunade tossed over her shoulder. "We'll call this a test and see if anything I've taught you got through that thick head of yours."

"Whatever you say, hag," he muttered slightly below what his mentor could understand. Hopefully. While she whipped around to glare at him suspiciously, he turned around and strode back down the hallway to an open window. Shizune was doubtlessly still in her office at the hospital with those damn toxicology reports.

When they were all gathered in Tsunade's living room, Sasuke finally allowed himself to feel curiosity about the situation. Whatever it was must be bad—Tsunade had dug out a pint of ice cream for each of them and gravely handed out spoons at the door.

He also felt a little superior—he would never eat on the couches in his own home. Granted, Tsunade had strange tastes and decidedly non-traditional aesthetic in her home. Perhaps the teal couches and the enormous yellow rug they all sat on would be easier to launder than his tatami mats.

"Are you going to explain, or do we have to ask?" Shizune scraped her spoon around in search of fudge and chocolate bits, wiggling slightly to keep the tub away from Tonton's snuffling nose.

Tsunade leaned back onto the side of her couch, propping her bare toes up on the other side and shrugging languidly. "Funny thing. Turns out the political shithole of Mist is straightening up."

Sasuke furrowed his brow. 'What?' He knew that they had theorized that their Mizukage was dead- someone named Yagura- but his disappearance had hardly been the event that threw Mist into chaos. Arguably, disappearing was the best thing that lunatic had done for his country.

"Is there a new Mizukage, then?" Shizune queried, actually looking interested. "I'm afraid I don't know of many big names left in the village."

"One Terumi Mei sends us an invitation to meet and greet, one Kage to another," Tsunade said dryly. "In other words, she wants us to court her for favor and alliance. It's almost certainly not in our favor to do so, of course. Mist is going to be a mess for a long time—something like half their forces deserted or went rouge, and she's probably maintaining order through force."  
"But if you snub her now…" Sasuke trailed off, implication obvious. Tsunade sneered.

"Got it in one. Good thing I got rid of the old coots when I did, they'd be pushing to insure that I stay in the village and that this meeting falls through. Not that they wouldn't have a point."

"It would be awfully dangerous," Shizune mused. "So much could go wrong. You can't go, you can't snub her, and you can't afford to get caught cleaning up her mess."

"But if we help her now," Sasuke interjected lazily, "we could have an alliance of three out of the five major villages. We are never going to mend the rift with Rock and Lightning."

Those wounds were too fresh, on both sides, and both were still highly militant. Konoha had a tentative alliance with other villages like Grass, for example, but there was an enormous difference between the five major villages and even the respectably mid-tiered ones like Grass. At the moment, Rock and Lightning were probably the two most stable villages, and had a long-standing alliance. If they decided that now was an excellent time for war, no one or two villages could stand against them.  
Tsunade looked amused, popping a cleanly-licked spoon out of her mouth and angling a scolding look at his own untouched portion. Sasuke grimaced down at his melting ice cream and reluctantly put a spoonful in his mouth. It was a bit undignified, but he really did like green tea ice cream. His mentor nodded in approval.

"Good point, Sasuke-chan. And that's why I'm sending you and Shizune to meet with her and make nice. It's the next best thing to going myself- entrusting her with both my apprentices is a huge show of trust." Then she rolled her eyes. "But I don't trust her at all, of course, which is why I'm also sending your scruffy ex-sensei."

Shizune groaned.

Surprised, Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her. 'What's so wrong with Kakashi-sensei?'

Then he realized that was the wrong question. Many things were wrong with Kakashi, of course. He amended the thought.  
'What specific problem would Shizune have with him?'

She flushed, waving her free hand frantically and inadvertently let Tonton get his face into her treat. "It's nothing! Really. But Tsunade-sama, do you really think that just Hatake-san will be enough?"

"I'm not sending your boytoy, if that's what you're asking," she taunted with a cruel little smile. Sasuke had no idea what she was alluding to, but it didn't matter. Shizune actually looked relieved, so it was probably a bad joke.

"Who will be filling out the team, then?"

Tsunade snorted ungracefully. "Well, Hatake's brat apprentice for one. I'd need a goddamn crow-bar and chakra proof cell to stop that from happening. And then probably one of his old teammates from ANBU."

"That's it?" That was a strange configuration. Either Shizune and Sasuke were diplomats or they were part of the team—if they were solely diplomats, Tsunade should send a four man team with them. If they were part of the team, then it would just be Kakashi and Aiko.

Tsunade cracked her neck. "That's all I have to add, in a way. Danzo stopped by to helpfully offer a suggestion to fill the last space." The sarcasm was palpable. She shrugged. "I'd be disturbed that he was the only one who knew what I would decide to do so quickly, but he has never been stupid. Many things, but not stupid." She eyed Sasuke pointedly. "This will almost certainly be one of his private ANBU. They'd fill out the combat requirements nicely, if I know Danzo at all, but they will also be invaluable for our purposes."

Sasuke nodded ever so slightly. It made sense. He was going to either gather information from this person or try to subvert them.

Then he frowned. "Aren't I probably the least qualified person in the village to emotionally manipulate this person?" He asked a bit dryly, ignoring Shizune's muttered 'Not so, there's always Hatake'. Tsunade actually burst out laughing, snatching up Tonton when he wandered too close and petting his belly. He snuffled happily, completely unaware of the fate of a country being decided above him. It must be nice to be a pig.

"You've never met one of these Root operatives before, have you? There's a reason Danzo keeps them out of the normal forces—whatever the hell he does to them makes it very hard for them to blend in." She shrugged. "Even you aren't that obtuse. If this teammate is a Root operative, you'll know it. Besides, you'll have your nosy little girlfriend to help you make nice. I'm starting to think that there's a hidden Uzumaki bloodline where their complete lack of self-preservation and crippling social retardation somehow combines to form reality warping charisma."

There was probably an argument to be made against that, but for the life of him Sasuke didn't know how to go about defending his teammates or even if he wanted to. He'd had to bang his head against the wall out of frustration when he heard that Aiko had apparently befriended the Suna jinchuuriki who had genuinely tried to kill her not so long ago. Sasuke understood that she might have sympathy for his situation (now that he'd finally been told about Naruto's condition) but that didn't have to extend to actually allowing the creep to spend time around her. Her nonchalance about the affair was shocking.

It was downright unnerving, bordering on a hint that she had a frightening predisposition to forgive abusers. He was going to keep an eye on her, since she wasn't willing to do it herself. Kakashi was probably similarly alarmed, if he'd managed to lift his head from a book long enough to hear about that idiotic decision and parse through the nuances of human interaction.

"Now, as for what I want you two to be willing to accept and negotiate with. First of all, you can thank Hatake for having the presence of mind to seal up Zabuza's sword and bring it back after you brats killed him, because that'll make an acceptable good faith offering. It doesn't do us a damn bit of good without knowing how to use it, but it's an important part of Mist's cultural heritage. In other words, they'll want it back even if they don't have anyone who can use it."

Shizune snorted rudely. "It's also a way to shove in their face that one of our genin teams killed their strongest missing nin." She gave Tsunade an unimpressed look. "Don't you think that sending three out of the five members of that group will be a bit obvious?"

"I like to make my points very clearly," Tsunade responded primly. "I don't know this Terumi woman well at all. She could be a total incompetent."

________________________________________

"Hello. I am called Sai. Please take care of me." Dark hair slipped over his face when he gave a small bow to the group eying him for the first time. Most of the office was thoroughly unimpressed, but not all.

'Hot damn,' Aiko thought. 'Why are all the men I know ridiculously good-looking? This isn't even funny anymore.'

Really, it wasn't. It was easy on her eyes, though. And Sai was slightly older than her physical age- just old enough that she didn't feel like a total creep for checking him out. (She knew Sasuke was beautiful, but hell if he didn't look like a child to her. Maybe in a couple of years she would be willing to tap that, but right now Yamato was her best eye candy).

Sasuke grunted, and for one horrid moment she thought he had spontaneously developed telepathy and heard her unprofessional thoughts. Luckily, he seemed to be ignorant so far. She had carefully kept any hints of the perverted side that Yamato was now far too familiar with for his comfort and that Kakashi-shishou was amused by from Sasuke. That was mostly because she had the benefit of knowing that appearing to have a romantic interest in him was the fastest way to drive Sasuke off. If she wanted him to respect her, she had to be professional.

She'd somehow managed to trick him into respecting her just a little bit, and she wasn't about to ruin it now.

That was another reason this mission was going to be a total drag, she knew. Her displeased thoughts didn't cross her face during the mission briefing and she somehow managed to pay attention to what little she was allowed to know. (Mist? Why the hell were they going on a diplomatic mission with Mist? She thought that they were isolationist and universally hostile). But the situation was still a total bummer. Yamato had been included on the team for some stupid reason, and he was going to think that she had either given up on taunting him or (much worse) actually figure out that Sasuke and Kakashi-shishou were good shields against her perversion. (She definitely curbed her enthusiasm around shishou. He didn't seem ready to see her as an adult yet, and probably with good reason. Her body was thirteen, after all.)

The worst part was that she didn't even dislike Yamato. He was talented, handsome, and seemed to have an easy going personality… when he wasn't paying attention to her. She was almost a little hurt that he seemed to single her out as an object of dislike. She hadn't done a damn thing to him.

Despite her lack of personal enmity for the guy, she couldn't let his pointed silences and little snipes at her slide. It was probably a character flaw, but she always had to have the last word. Most people didn't challenge her (people just sort of let her do whatever she wanted, with the exception of the few people she deferred to without question or attitude), and so this was disconcerting. He didn't fit in her hierarchical understanding of relationships.

'Sai might, though,' she mused. That was going to be a strange fit. They could be equal comrades with differing specializations who deferred to the other when appropriate, perhaps? He didn't seem like he would be overly aggressive, unless one counted the insulting names that had been his trademark in canon. Her personal theory was that those things stemmed from his lack of socialization and not an actual cruel personality, so she wasn't going to let them bother her if they happened.

The answer to the question of nicknames was answered soon after they left the building, accompanied by Shizune. Kakashi-shishou had left in a flicker of light, but the others were all there when Sai turned a painfully fake smile on the rest of them and tilted his head like a bird. "I have read that it is considered friendly to give nicknames to companions based upon their notable attributes."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, the question, 'Is this guy for real' written all over his features.

Sai was socially awkward, not blind. His eyes narrowed imperceptibly at the snub, and then his grin widened to bare perfectly white teeth. "I will call you Dickless."

'What,' Sasuke thought flatly. 'What.' That didn't even compute. Why… who would say such a thing, in public or otherwise? This mission was doomed to failure, because Sasuke was going to kill the moron and hide the body in a lake as soon as they were out of Konoha. This could not stand.

Aiko actually choked. Apparently that nickname had more to do with Sai than Naruto. Or maybe there was a commonality between the two boys that they would doubtlessly not fess up to.

He turned that unnerving gaze on her while Sasuke whitened to an unhealthy shade and became dangerously still with rage, like a cat about to pounce. "And you…" he tilted his head the other way, as if to take her in. She felt Yamato practically begin vibrating with anticipation, clearly interested in the conversation. "I think that you will be washboard. You're rather flat, aren't you."

'Okay, maybe he is testing the waters by intentionally being insulting,' she acknowledged in her head. 'Either that or he's using some logic I don't yet see to assign names.' She was far from flat-chested, especially for an athlete. 'Maybe that means Sasuke is hung like a horse.'

Alas, speculations were useless at the moment, and there would be no opportunities for field investigation.

Her companions seemed to agree that the nickname was inappropriate. Sasuke looked like he wanted to attack Sai, and she might have been worried if he'd already possessed Tsunade's super strength. On the other hand, Yamato looked highly amused at what he probably perceived to be a situation that would embarrass her. Shizune was wheezing with laughter.

Canon had made clear that getting angry at Sai would solve nothing- either he simply didn't understand what he had done wrong or he intentionally pushed back against aggression. So telling him to fuck off was right out. She wasn't even that insulted, really. She knew she wasn't flat, and if she had been, it wouldn't have mattered anyways. Her job wasn't to be pretty, it was to be good at killing people. And she was.

So she took it in stride, looking down pointedly and cupping herself with both hands. "I'm not that flat," she said mildly, giving a generous squeeze. If she'd seen Sasuke's expression at that moment, she might not have continued. "I'm almost a C." She wanted to see Yamato's face –was he smug now, huh?!- but had to look casually back at Sai. "What about him?" She jerked her head towards Yamato.

Sai turned his head to the suddenly still man. "I thought that was the kunoichi of the team," he said mildly.

"An honest mistake," Aiko agreed, despite the fact that Yamato was a hunk of manly man. Said manly man looked a bit stricken. Oh god, she was going to love having this kid around. She gave him a genuinely amused smile. "Well, when you think of one, tell us. I'm sure I'll enjoy it. You have a knack."

He seemed pleased. Perhaps he wasn't intentionally provoking them after all.

'It's just me she hates,' Yamato realized numbly. He felt oddly miffed. That was unfair—this boy had been far ruder than he had. Was she really going to hold a few minutes of dismissal the first time they'd met against him forever? He'd been certain that Aiko was going to join the Uchiha boy in murdering their new teammate and forget about him altogether.

Was this what it was like to have someone you disliked on a personal level? Yamato had never had an enemy like that before.  
He didn't like it much.

________________________________________

"Okay gaki," Jiraiya half-pouted. He did feel a little guilty that his apprentice thought he was being neglected so much that he invented a new technique to impress him. So it was time to teach him something really cool. He'd had to pay more attention to what was going on in that last village than his apprentice—something was very wrong among his contacts. The man he had come to meet- the one who had been sending him dull, regular reports for the last few years- had apparently been dead for half a year. Yes. Something was very wrong, and it had been a bad place to bring his nearly defenseless apprentice.  
At least it was a nice day for travel. The sky was clear and the sun beating down cheerfully in a way that could have convinced him he was still within Fire Country if he didn't know better.

He stiffened, bringing his hands up and clapping, tapping his wooden geta on the cobblestone surface of the road that hadn't quite yet faded into the dirt that characterized country roads. "The great Jiraiya, the gallant toad sage, will be teaching you his specialty, starting today!" He grinned down at his apprentice.

Naruto looked spectacularly unimpressed. "You already taught me toad summoning, and I don't want to learn how to be a gigantic pervert and get beat up outside hot springs."

'Is that all the kid thinks of me?'

Jiraiya tabled that troubling thought and moved on to pretending to be hurt. "Come on kid, do you really think that summoning is all I can do? I'm internationally renowned because I am a seal master, a rare and difficult specialty."  
"What, like the thing the creepy guy put on Sasuke with his hickey of doom?"

That made no sense, so Jiraiya decided to ignore it. That was his general policy whenever his apprentice started to say things that were arranged in perfectly good sentences but still incomprehensible.

"Sealing is an incredibly versatile art," he boasted, posed heroically with his fists on his hips and hair ruffling dramatically in a wind that did not exist. A couple of young girls traveling down the same road passed them, giving Jiraiya strange looks. They were clearly making an effort not to catch attention and edging along the other side of the path. Naruto shrugged helplessly and tried to apologize with his eyes.

'He's not paying attention,' Jiraiya noted. 'I'd better get louder.' He wasn't going to put up with the sheer hypocrisy of his obnoxious apprentice being embarrassed by him. Jiraiya broke social convention because he liked to. Naruto barreled through propriety with all the elegance of a drunken cow.

"Behold!" He whipped out a prepared seal and activated it with chakra. It fizzled and sparked with electricity, charring the ground where it landed. "Fuinjutsu can be used to fundamentally alter the nature of laws of dimension and space, to do things like store chakra, solid materials, bend space, or even time! You can use seals to make explosives, contracts with summon clans, spy, detect intruders, or even utilize powerful attacks of other chakra natures!"

"Big deal, my sister can do that stuff." Naruto turned his nose up. "Boring! I want something cool, like maybe a sword that channels chakra like that Ino's sensei has."

Jiraiya was genuinely insulted. He was far cooler than Sarutobi Asuma, that diapered brat. And besides, "Your sister can't have mastered fuinjutsu. It takes years!"

Naruto snorted. "Maybe for you. She had to learn it for the Chuunin exams."

"That's not a Chuunin skill."

The blonde gave him a 'Are you stupid' look, which Jiraiya resented more than just a bit. "Not her exams, mine. She was working with Anko on the second exam. She made the summoning scrolls that brought Chuunin to meet teams that opened them at the tower."

Jiraiya face-palmed. 'Minato, you put the Kyuubi in the wrong kid,' he groused. 'One of them has prodigal sealing talent, and it's the wrong one. What is Sarutobi-sensei thinking? I can understand testing her to see if she had any of her parents' ability, but why wouldn't he tell me so I could direct it?'

It had to have been a test. No one would honestly expect a Chuunin to master an entirely new skill set like that in a few months at absolute most. Anko wouldn't actually be a bad supervisor for that. Sarutobi sensei had taught all three of his students advanced sealing. Even though Jiraiya was the only one who had gone a conventional route with it, being apprenticed to Orochimaru would have exposed the girl to plenty of fuinjutsu.

He had been a sealing prodigy himself once he got past the initial barriers of learning a new language, of course, but fuinjutsu ran in Uzumaki veins as much as blood did. He'd met a few in his time, and they were positively uncanny, often understanding and executing concepts they hadn't been taught and couldn't verbalize. Naruto had a bit of that quality himself, but it seemed to be directed to understanding jutsu instead. Maybe he had more of Minato in him than Kushina in that regard—Minato had pushed himself to become a sealing expert precisely because he found it difficult and intellectually engaging, not because it was intuitive. He and his red-haired wife had been a fearsome duo indeed with their combined abilities and wildly varying approaches. If they'd lived, they would have revolutionized everything. He was sure of it.

But that ship had sailed, and this was what he was left with. Jiraiya would do his best to pound some introductory level fuinjutsu concepts into Naruto's head to see if it would spark intellectual curiosity. If not… well.

Jiraiya heaved a sigh.

He'd just have to teach the brat to hit things really hard. Depressing.


	32. Chapter 32

"This is a bad idea," Chojuro muttered. "I don't like having high-level foreigners in the village when tensions are so high. He fidgeted, shoulders drawn in like he wanted to sink into himself.

Ao gave him a disgusted look. "Oh, man up already."

"Ao, don't be cruel, and stop your gender policing. It's very unattractive." The Mizukage pouted at her bodyguards. "Chojuro, don't you trust my judgment?" He went scarlet and began sputtering as if to deny that. "Everything will be fine," she soothed, ignoring his overreaction. "Konoha is our best bet for fixing our little problem." She closed her eyes and leaned languidly against her palm. "Whether they give us help as allies or we take it by force, the first step is gathering information. And how better than to have them readily give it to us?"

Chojuru still didn't like this idea, but he said nothing else. It was undeniable that something had to be done about the three-tailed beast that had been sealed in Yagura. The revelation that he had been controlled was slightly reassuring—it meant that the violence and insanity of the 'Bloody Mist' years had not entirely been the influence of the beast that was one of their best weapons. They could ill afford to lose it, even if its container had to go.

There was also no way around the fact that they had no one capable or willing to perform the seal to make a jinchuuriki for them. They had personnel who worked with seals, yes, but nothing of that caliber. It was possible that they could cobble together a seal that would work after a few months of scrabbling to make something work before the container the beast was held in failed.

It was also entirely possible and rather likely that they would fail and the beast would be released wherever they tried to seal it, angry after years of imprisonment and with its full power available. The casualties might be even worse if the amateur seal workers they had were incorrect about how long the beast could be contained in an inanimate object and it was released in the village.

Most of the other major villages had sealing 'experts', but even the best of Sand and Rock could not compare to Konoha's sealing experts. The only group that could possibly best Konoha's Jiraiya were the defunct Uzumaki clan… who, according to a rather recent bounty, were not quite so defunct after all.

"Those sneaky bastards were hoarding them all along," Mei had breathed out with an air of resigned amusement and utter relief at what seemed to be the solution to one of their largest problems, other than that fucking rebel faction that wouldn't give up and die already. If they could get a hold of an Uzumaki, who had reputably been sealing experts to the last man, woman, and child, then they could easily re-establish one of their most powerful assets and turn their attention to other problems. It wasn't as shocking in retrospect—they had one in the last war, and Konoha had always been closest to Uzu.  
Without getting hold of a seal master, they would be better off throwing the container with the beast into an ocean and hoping no one else managed to take advantage of the resource.

If they were allies with Konoha, they could negotiate the sealing as part of their conditions for a mutual protection pact. It could benefit them as well to have stronger allies, so such a move would not be entirely altruistic.

Of course, Mei wasn't putting all her money on that bet. Senju Tsunade could take the view that it would be foolish to improve the military capacity of a village with a history of in-fighting, isolationism, and aggression. She could even be right. In the event that that Konoha refused to help them seal the Three-Tailed beast, then the next course of action would be to snag an Uzumaki, probably the one that had been so helpfully plastered on wanted posters. The kid was reputed to be a B-class shinobi, but a kunoichi of that level could be controlled. When their other option was kidnapping Jiraiya of the Sannin, it looked downright reasonable.

(They'd only just gotten the village under control. It would be a damn shame to have it destroyed by toads and be laughed at to boot).

Of course, that was assuming that Rock's information was correct. For all they knew, she could be a useless genin or the second coming of the Shodaime. Generally speaking, Rock couldn't find their asses with both hands, and the picture they'd scrounged up to accompany the entry had looked out of date. There was no way that they were looking for a B-class ten year old with a goofy smile. (and who smiled for official photos, anyway?)

A masked shinobi in the uniform of a Kiri hunter-nin knelt in front of Mei, holding out the copy of the admission verification that had just been processed at the front gate. She took it eagerly, having been anxious to find out who the Godaime Hokage had sent. Mei hadn't really expected that the woman would come herself, a fact that she was prepared to pretend to be slighted by if she needed more leverage.

The three shinobi waited silently on their Kage. Thankfully, she was a fast reader. Mei didn't bother to censor her expression as she read, vacillating between interest, irritation, and finally surprised humor.

She had to laugh with genuine amusement, wiping a tear from her eye and flicking it across the room with a delicate finger. "The Godaime Hokage sends her regrets that she cannot meet in person, but she sends her two apprentices in her place. Along with the escort team of Hatake Kakashi, two men with no last names, and one Uzumaki Aiko."

"Well, that's convenient," Ao muttered.

"They may as well have sent gift wrap," Chojuru half-laughed, reaching up to touch the handle of his sword reflexively.  
Mei tutted. "Now now boys, play nice. That may be completely unnecessary." She stood, flicking a lock of hair over her shoulder. "Let's go meet our guests, hmm? They must be tired from their long trip. It would only be polite to greet them and send them to bed instead of forcing them to the negotiation table now."

________________________________________

'This place is sketchy as shit.' 

Mist was everything she'd dreamed and more, sort of. Aiko stayed close to her shishou's side, doing her best to keep her gaze on Shizune and Sasuke's backs and fought to keep a neutral expression. It was a rare situation that made her feel like this—if she'd been a fresh genin, she might have cried.

It was just… well. It couldn't be pinned to any one thing. Perhaps it was the obviously years old bloodstains on streets and building faces. Maybe it was the fresh splatter over that- weeks at the oldest. It could have been the low-hanging fog that reminded her uncomfortably of how close Zabuza had come to killing her all those months ago.

But it was probably the combination of ambient killing intent and the way that every single person they saw stopped and stared silently, expressionless but somehow cold and evaluative.

She felt warmth against her side and realized she'd leaned so close to her shishou that she could feel his ambient heat. He gave no comment, but she reluctantly pulled back. As much as Aiko wanted to either turn around towards Fire Country or hide behind Kakashi, she had a job to do.

Besides, none of her companions seemed to be having trouble. She could understand why Kakashi didn't mind (he was the baddest fucker on the whole block, that's why, and probably the coolest, strongest, best-smelling person in the world); Sai had been brain-washed into near emotionlessness, and Shizune and Yamato were both elite ANBU shinobi in their own right.  
But Sasuke? She couldn't let Sasuke be braver than she was. She had two years of experience on him and had probably killed more people than he'd said hello to in the past year.

Of course, he did have the benefit of being young and malleable enough for Konoha's military minded indoctrination and desensitization program to have worked. Aiko wasn't stupid enough to claim that she was the same person she had been when she first came to awareness, but she could be certain that if she were to point out every instance she saw of structural inequality or unethical behavior, she would be sent to a Yamanaka mind healer to get her head on straight. She couldn't afford that, so she was stuck patching together whatever coping mechanisms she could to deal with the stress of her job.  
Usually, she found refuge in humor. Often it was dark humor. But it was hard to find even gallows humor right now when she felt like she could hardly breathe and the Mist was going to choke the life right out of her.

It was probably for the best that Shizune and Sasuke were the focus of attention, listening to their escort at the front of the group talk quietly. They passed into what had to be an administration building, and Aiko did her best to look like muscle—that was her job here. Thankfully there was some form of heating inside, and she relaxed a bit. As much as she complained internally about Konoha's awful heat, she'd gotten used to it and the damp chill here was very uncomfortable. It curled up into her lungs like it would never leave.

A woman who could only be Terumi Mei was waiting inside a spartan room with a muscled man at either shoulder like the best sort of accessory. "Greetings," she purred. And it really was a purr. Aiko knew immediately that this was a woman who wielded sex as a deadly weapon. "You are Tsunade's representatives, I take it?" She spent just long enough eying up Shizune and Sasuke to make it clear that it wasn't really a question. "I would like to personally thank you for coming, and hope that you enjoy our hospitality. You will be staying nearby, actually."

"I'm sure we will both benefit from this," Shizune smiled. It was false. "Konoha would like to extend congratulations on your ascendance to Mizukage and wish you the best. As a token of our thanks for this invitation, we would like to offer you a gift."  
Mei raised an eyebrow. The bulky man on her right stiffened, glaring at Shizune suspiciously with his one visible eye. Kakashi stared back at him with a bored expression and his one eye. Aiko rather suspected that if things dissolved into some bizarre optical pissing match against the stolen Byakugan she was sure was hidden under that, Konoha would come out on top. (Granted, she couldn't be sure and her memory was fuzzy, but one of the other villages definitely had a bodyguard with a stolen eye).

"How generous."

Shizune held out her left hand, accepting the scroll that Kakashi passed into her grip without either of them so much as looking away from their respective glaring counterparts. Effortlessly, she pulled off the seal and unrolled it, passing a green-tinted hand over it in a rather impressively casual way and extracting an enormous sword that she pulled backwards and over her head, flipping it so that she held it in front of her sideways with both hands.

Eyepatch guard had flinched forward and pulled out a weapon sometime while Shizune had extracted the sword. His companion had cursed, but stilled with wide eyes to stare at the sword Shizune was holding. It was menacing and significantly taller than the woman holding it, easily out-weighing her by at least 20 lbs. She very noticeably didn't look the slightest bit strained by it.  
"This was confiscated by one of our teams against Momochi Zabuza."

Mei had tensed. She was putting up a good show of nonchalance, to be sure. Nothing in her facial expression or body language from the torso down was hinting at anything out of the usual. But the delicate muscles in her neck were pointedly still, all but shouting that she was intentionally not reacting.

Shizune gave a sharp little smile, with more than a hint of, 'You didn't know that he was dead, did you,' behind it. As much as it was a generous gift, it was also a slap in the face with a reminder of the difference in their villages' respective power. It would only be better if…

"If I may be so bold, what team do we have to thank for ending our most infamous missing nin?"

Yes. It would only be better if Mei gave that opening. She must really be off-guard, Aiko mused. It was really sort of fun watching the back and forth exchange and guessing at the subtle undercurrents.

Shizune knew the opening was too easy to pass up as well. She gestured easily at her companions. "That actually would have been the genin team led by Hatake Kakashi here."

"I see." Mei gave a very fake smile. "Then I should extend my thanks to you in person."

"No need," Kakashi said with a held up hand and an eye-smile. "It was actually my apprentice here who killed him." Then the bastard who'd sold her out in front of a room of S-class ninjas helpfully prodded her forward so that he didn't have to deal with them anymore.

'Fuck you, shishou,' she thought darkly as the room became quiet and something strange passed over Mei's face when she looked at the girl. But only for a moment, then it was gone. Aiko didn't risk words, giving only a slight incline of her head that could pass as a bow or acknowledgement and raising her face to look directly into Mei's eyes. They were hard and considering.  
Then she smiled and the room lit up. "Well then, thank you, Aiko-chan. I expect great things from you."

Unnerved by the tensions she sensed but didn't understand, she just nodded. 'Why does the Mizukage know my name?' her mind shrieked helplessly.

"Well, I'm sure you are all tired from your long trip. Hana, please take our guests to their chambers."

The shinobi who had taken them through the village nodded blankly, turning around and leading them out.

Later that night, Aiko relaxed onto the bed in the room she would be sharing with Shizune. This was of course after Kakashi and Yamato had swept the whole apartment for listening devices and techniques, traps, and all manner of explosives. It had been so clean that they had become suspicious and ran a second sweep. That also turned up nothing.

Understandably, they had been on edge since.

Aiko had taken advantage of the luxuriously oversized tub and taken a bath with Shizune. They'd intended to talk about how the meeting had gone and debrief, but had ended up just enjoying the soak. After about an hour and a half, she had trailed out of the bathroom with a blue towel piled on her head and another around her torso, passing her grumpy-looking teammate on the way out.

Sasuke had gotten stuck with Sai as his guardian shadow, a proposition he was much less pleased about than Shizune was to have Aiko or that Yamato was to be able to room and work with his senpai. Sasuke had apparently been crabby enough to snap at Yamato about his obvious enthusiasm to sleep with Kakashi. Poor guy. ('In the same room,' he blustered, ears burning, 'not 'together' together or anything, unless- I mean… I'm going to go patrol.')

"It took you two long enough," he all but growled. Shizune came out of the room after Aiko and poked his nose shamelessly.  
"Don't be a grump, Sasuke-kun. It doesn't suit you at all. The bath is free now, you should go have a soak." He looked as though he wanted to heave a sigh, but merely got to his feet and picked up the pile of clothes he must have gotten ready while they had been in the bath.  
Sai looked up from where he was seated cross-legged on the floor with a sketchbook. "Are we bathing together as well, Dickless?"

Sasuke gave him an acidic look that could burn through metal and slammed the door behind him.

"I suppose not," Sai hmmed, sounding slightly disappointed.

Aiko rubbed her towel on her hair, crossing the room to pat his shoulder. "Don't worry about it. Sasuke is a little hard to get to know." She gave him an easy smile, disengaging effortlessly to go put on new clothes. Sasuke would probably sneer at her oversized red t-shirt and the loose blue pants paired with them, but they were comfortable.

In the hours before it became late enough to go to bed, she pulled out her supplies and worked on the sky-blue book of movie transcripts. She was on a bit of a roll and having a lot of fun expanding on Haku's background (hey, she wasn't bound by time limits or a budget, so she may as well include the scene where Yubaba tricked him into her service when he was trapped in the spirit world instead of edging it in at the last minute). She curled into the couch with the notebook resting on a pillow on her lap, taking a page off of writing to fill in one of her stylized depictions of Haku as the river spirit.

"You draw."

She looked up at Sai, mildly startled. She'd all but forgotten that there were other people in the room. "Um, yes. Mostly just people. I'm no good at scenery or animals."

"You're not that good at people either," he monotoned, gaze focused on her paper. "This detailing is highly unrealistic. The eyes are too large, and the proportions are all wrong."

Aiko seriously considered reaching out and shoving her pen into his gut just to watch him bleed. 'That won't help anything,' she reminded herself. 'You decided to go with 'calm' and understanding. Stick to it. He might respond well to reason.' Out loud, she let just a hint of irritation color her next words. "Actually, it's meant to be that way. It's a stylistic decision on my part, not a failure to understand human anatomy."

"Why." Yamato, the only other person in the room, looked up and gave him a slightly disbelieving look. She felt a strange, sudden kinship with him.

"It's just how my art looks. I take it you're more interested in realism?" Maybe turning the conversation around on him would give her a better idea of where to take this or get him to back off so she could go back to work. This picture wasn't going to color itself.

The ANBU just stood there, unresponsive for a moment. "I am not aware of this terminology."

"Right," Aiko muttered, turning back to her work. "Of course you aren't."

How long was that goddamn diva going to spend in the bath? Things became silent and awkward. When Sasuke finally flounced out in his fancy silk pajamas (decorated with one of those enormous, garish fans on the back), she gave him a downright filthy look. He looked confused.

"Sai, go take a bath."

________________________________________

Tsunade groaned, rubbing at her forehead and wishing that everyone else would just drop dead. It hadn't been clear until now just how much Shizune ameliorated her obscene workload. She had been able to keep up, of course, but she had a massive stress headache. Poor Keiko was on the verge of tears. Tsunade only wished she could have made the poor secretary's day less stressful, but she had a question she needed answered while she was thinking of it.

Besides, she needed to get out of the building or she was going to snap and level it. It was ugly anyways.

It wasn't hard to find her former mentor, although she was slightly haunted by the betrayed look on her secretary's face when she had cancelled all appointments and escaped. He hadn't been leaving the family property lately, apparently content spending much more time with his grandson than he'd been able to before.

Tsunade pulled up a seat beside his position overlooking a fragrant garden, fingering the latest update from Jiraiya. He seemed to be engrossed in bird watching. She glanced at the avian cleaning its wings on the central pond, unimpressed by the view. "Sensei."

He didn't react. She frowned.

"Sensei." He blinked gummily, turning to look at her.

"Did you say something, my dear?"

An alarm started going off faintly in her head. Unnerved but not exactly certain what was wrong, Tsunade shelved the unease and showed him the letter. "I just got a letter from Jiraiya, asking why you tested Aiko on fuinjutsu but never followed up on teaching her after she showed promise."

Hiruzen frowned slightly, turning to look at her with a puff on his unlit pipe. "Aiko?"

Tsunade rolled her eyes and snapped at him. "Yes, Uzumaki Aiko, remember? The redhead."

He gazed blankly at her for a moment, before seeming to understand. "Ah! You mean Kushina-chan. She's being trained, of course."

The fifth Hokage stared uncomprehendingly. Then she stood and cursed thoroughly, managing to startle the ducks in the pond. "Well, this explains a lot, like those exhaustive notes," she sighed. Her stress headache was suddenly compounding and turning into a migraine. How had no one noticed that the Hokage had been having memory lapses? How long had he been hiding this?

She felt pity swell up, and felt like the worst kind of traitor. The stress her mentor had been under for the past ten years or so was largely her fault. She had known that he was too old for such a stressful job. He had never wanted to retake his position, but no one capable and willing to take the job had stepped forward. Konoha had very few S-class nin at any point in time, but in the wake of the Kyuubi attack and the end of the war Tsunade had been fifty percent of that group. With Orochimaru turned traitor and Jiraiya in avoidant mourning, Tsunade had been the obvious choice.

Not only had she not stepped up when she first should have, she had even failed to provide support for her aging mentor. Tsunade sank down into her chair again, cradling her head in her hands. She had been highly critical when she had left to become a missing-nin in all but name. She had abandoned him in his time of need almost as thoroughly as Orochimaru had. And yet he had never lost faith in her, knowing that she would return home years before she did.

Tsunade tiredly patted her sensei's bony shoulder as she left, silently resolving to do better by him. But first things first, she was going to parse through his old notes to figure out what else she had missed.

Hatake could start the Uzumaki girl on sealing, she decided. He wasn't exactly going to be called a master anytime soon, but he knew enough to stop a rampaging Jinchuuriki. (She was relatively certain that fact had factored highly into the decision to make him Naruto's sensei).

She'd send him a message via slug. He may as well make himself useful while he was lounging around in Mist. Lazy little shit. She valiantly ignored that she'd been the one to send him there in favor of being irritated that he wasn't here to yell at.  
________________________________________

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Karin fiddled with her glasses in lieu of fidgeting more obviously, feeling the nervous urge to twist her fingers in her skirt.

Hinata took a deep breath of the afternoon air, obviously feeling some nerves but bolstered by having the support of her best friend at her right side and both her mentors, although Kurenai and Anko weren't there with them at the moment. The hope was that in the rush to get out for the day, the office workers wouldn't have time to gossip about what she was about to do.  
She had gotten advice from both of her mentors and talked over her options. Anko had been surprisingly calm and fair-minded about the whole thing, abandoning her usual devil-may-care act and showing an analytical intelligence. Kurenai had been less knowledgeable, but her unconditional support had been just as helpful. Hinata knew that when she told her other teammates, Kiba and Shino would be just as supportive.

Sometimes she had to stop and marvel at just how much her life had changed. Now that she had been branded and disgraced, no one cared about how she performed anymore. No one seemed to judge her, and Hanabi had no reason to work her fingers raw practicing to defeat Hinata. Getting the brand might be the best thing that had ever happened to her. Her little sister was now safe from it, and had no reason to feel competitive. It was a weight off her shoulders.

Her new freedom was exhilarating. For the first time in her life, Hinata had friends who supported her unconditionally. Sometimes she laid up at night and felt so happy that she wanted to cry. So many people saw potential in her where her blood relations had seen only failure.

Kurenai-sensei had always been kind. Shino wanted what was best for her. Kiba wanted her to be happy. Anko-sensei offered tests that she understood in things like teamwork and self-discipline for the good of the whole. And Karin…

She turned a watery smile on her favorite person in Konoha. There must be something very special in the Uzumaki line, something a hundred times better than the Hyuuga eyes or an Inuzuka nose. They never gave up or cared what anyone else thought. Karin had seen her at her absolute worst, after a month of hospitalization, and seen something no one else had. She would always be grateful. This… this was what it was like to be family and not a clan.

"I'm certain." Hinata clenched her fingers tightly around the paperwork that would declare her intentions to sever all ties and obligations to the Hyuuga. It would cause uproar, of course. It was a very aggressive, hostile move.

But the Hyuuga's practice of branding their branch families with controlling seals had caused disquiet in the early days of Konoha's founding. It had been the very first Hokage who had pointed out that this system amounted to slavery, unless there was a way to discard one's name and leave the clan.

The logic was that choosing not to do so would constitute implicit agreement to the system, although it was certainly coercive and unethical according to Aiko. (She had said something that Hinata hadn't really understood in a very impassioned way, but she appreciated the support nonetheless). She'd claimed that the practice of branding clan members while they were toddlers completely undermined the system and then dissolved into incoherent ranting in that funny made-up language she and Naruto had used back in school. The Hyuuga had been willing to make the concession for the protection of a fledgling village, drastically weakened after their own fighting with a clan that no longer existed.

It had never been used before. The consequences were harsh, after all. She would have no name, like an orphan or whore's child, and the Hyuuga would likely curse her and her family forever. That was likely to be a moot point, because she would have to agree not to ever have a child of her blood and pass down the Byakugan. Karin had been outraged by that point. It made Hinata sad too. She had always wanted to be a mother one day. But… Did she really need to dream of one day building a family when she had one now?

________________________________________

Omake –did this happen? Maybe. Maybe not.

After the door had slammed shut behind the Konoha nin, the placid look had fled from the Mizukage's face. She stood and flipped her desk, tangling her hands in her hair and stomping immaturely for a few moments. Ao watched impassively, but Chojuru looked downright alarmed at the fit of temper. He fiddled uncomfortably with the second famous sword in the room, swiveling it slightly against the floor.

"Those fuckers," Mei hissed when she had calmed down enough to use words again.

Used to this more common expression of irritation, Chojuru shifted slightly in place and wondered when he was going to get to go home for the night. He'd forgotten to bring his warmer haori with him to work that day, and it looked to be ugly out there.  
Mei began to pace like a caged cat. "That Senju woman is rubbing her strength in my face."

"Hey, senpai," Chojuru whispered to his comrade. "Do you have a coat I can borrow?"

"She's mocking me."

He cringed away from the scathing look Ao directed at him.

"Just because I am young and beautiful and she's a dried out hag!"

"It's not that cold," Ao mumbled to his comrade with a condescending eyeroll. Not quite quietly enough, however.  
Mei whirled on him, eyes narrowed. "Old? I'll kill you, Ao."

He blinked, confused.

"I'll kill you."

"Okay?" he said a bit uncertainly.


	33. Chapter 33

"This is ridiculous," Elder Chiyo spat. "This insolent pup thinks to tell us that he should be Kazekage? Boy, you don't frighten me."

Gaara gave no reaction to her hostility, even as others cringed away from the tantrum they half-expected. Not so long ago, even Elder Chiyo would not have dared to speak to him thusly. In a way, he chose to take it as a show of faith. "I do not wish to lead by fear," he said finally, slowly. "It is my dream that I can use my strength to protect my people. I know that my past actions still reflect heavily on me, but I am no longer that person and wish to make amends." Then he stopped. It was almost physically tiring to use so many words, after years of monosyllabic response and brief promises about the pain he would inflict. He much preferred to wait and listen.

Temari was torn between being proud of her brother for his nobility and irritated at the show of what others would see as weakness instead of a new font of strength. She clenched her jaw, knowing that this was the moment of truth. The council could bend knee, or make life very difficult. She would eventually bring them down, of course, but Gaara wouldn't like it.  
The wizened old hag narrowed her eyes at him, gaze flickering to his stomach gate. Then she laughed, wheezing and coughing. "He has spirit," she forced out between cackles. "All right. I will support it."

Most of the room looked aghast. Many of them were probably thinking that the elder (and her brother who immediately fell in agreement) had finally gone completely senile. It was a stupid assumption- the honored siblings had been eccentric for as long as Temari could remember. This was probably a normal sort of weirdness. But no one dared to speak those doubts.  
"Well then," Baki raised his voice over the horrified rumble and incomprehensible murmurs. "Long live with Fifth Kazekage." He was the first to bow. Shinobi stumbled to follow his lead, many shaking.

It was not the acceptance that Gaara wanted. Temari could see something twist in his eyes at the sight of his people so cowed by a combination of fear and tradition, but he merely nodded gravely. "Thank you, honored Elders and council. I will do my best to serve Suna's interests and guard from her enemies."

When the siblings were alone, Temari gave her brother a one-armed hug, bending slightly to rest her chin on his deceptively frail shoulder. "Congratulations, otouto," she murmured into his ear. She nestled into the hug, not minding that he barely responded. She knew that he appreciated it, but he still didn't know quite how to reciprocate affection. "One day, they'll accept you. I know that you will make me proud."

"You two are full of feelings and I'm leaving," Kankuro muttered, doing just that.

Temari ignored her significantly less cute brother for the moment. A warm hand rested gently on her shoulder blades. She didn't react, but was immensely pleased by the uncommon show of affection.

"Thank you Temari," he rumbled into her ear.

She teared up a little and pulled back, turning her face away and wiping at her eyes with a sleeve. "My little otouto, all grown up with a big manly voice and becoming a military dictator."

He froze like a rat facing a predator. "Temari, stop."

"I'm so prooouuud," she faux-wailed to tease. Gaara winced at the high pitch.

"No."

"They grow up so fast. You haven't even hit puberty."

"Temari."

"We should talk about girls. You'll need to know now that you're a big stud with a fancy hat. They'll be on you like brown on rice and you'll have to protect your virtue."

"I'm leaving."

"You know this means you can't go to Konoha to visit your pretty girlfriend anymore," she called after him as he hustled out. He paused slightly, but didn't turn around as he escaped. She didn't really believe he'd hold to that at all. He had been getting occasional letters from Uzumaki Naruto, but had never agreed to exchange letters with his second friend before they had needed to leave Hi nu Kuni. Now that Gaara had a taste for human socialization, he didn't want to give it up. Temari didn't begrudge it. Very few people could treat him normally, and so of course he would prize that when he found it.

But it was her job to tease him, and she had years to make up for. Speaking of sisterly duty…

"When are you going to achieve anything, huh? Gaara is Kazekage, your sister is the most beautiful kunoichi in the world, and you're still playing with dolls. Ugly dolls, too."

"Oh hell, Temari, just go away. And they're puppets, not dolls!"  
________________________________________

Apparently, it was considered too aggressive to bring four bodyguards to a single meeting. For at least the first meeting, Kakashi and Sai were the assigned bodyguards.

That left Aiko and Yamato awkwardly waiting in the apartment, avoiding each other's eyes and not talking. The others had left in the early morning, and it was almost noon by the time Aiko finally cracked.

'This is ridiculous,' Aiko sighed, stealing a glance at the man as he poked around in their tiny kitchen, muttering something baffled about the strange array of foreign implements in Suna. He'd found a spatula, wooden spoon, and several pots that looked exactly like what Aiko had seen in Konoha. 'We have to be able to get along. I don't want to be fighting with him.' Then she paused. 'Plus I want to be able to eat at some point.' ANBU must not teach anything practical like how to survive between missions. Shame. Maybe it was a conspiracy funded by all the stall owners in Konoha to force them into patronage.

"Yamato." He turned to look at her, eyes dark and slightly suspicious. The serious expression was slightly undermined by the pile of metal cradled against his chest. Aiko balked a little at having to be the mature one, but swallowed and went on with it. "I think we got off on the wrong foot. I wanted to apologize for teasing you."

The man put down the pots he'd been fiddling with onto the counter with a clatter, absently flicking the wooden spoon he'd found between his long fingers. One of the pots fell to the floor, rolling under the table with obnoxious sound. He pretended not to notice. "That was unexpected," he mumbled, using his free hand to ruffle his hair. Then he sighed. "You're probably right. I should apologize too. I took out irritation from other sources onto you when we first met."

"So…" she touched her big toes together, raising her calves up and balancing onto the balls of her feet. Fidgeting was a bad nervous habit, but she didn't mind now. "Are we good, then?"

At his nod, she relaxed, moving to pull vegetables out of the fridge. "Good, because I was starting to get seriously worried about what you would do to this kitchen. Do you know how to wash rice?"

"Um…"

"No wonder I'm shishou's favorite student," she sighed, nudging his ribs with her elbow and demonstrating while she talked. "Pay attention, then. How are you ever going to win his loooove if you can't cook, huh?" At his bright flush, she cackled. "Sorry, but you just seem like the homemaker in that equation." She shoved the bowl into his hands and gently nudged him into place in front of the sink, ignoring his stunned expression. "I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that feeding his publically acceptable base desires is the best way to get to feed his other base desires. Don't you want to be the 'Yamato Nadeshiko' instead of just an awkward Yamato?"

"Why doesn't anyone believe that I don't want to have sex with Kakashi-senpai?" Yamato wailed, still dutifully agitating the rice like she'd shown him. He took orders well, she'd give him that.

"Well," a husky voice drew out teasingly from behind them. Yamato stiffened and slowly began to turn around to see his amused senpai and a smirking Uchiha. "That hurts my delicate feelings. Why would my cute little kohai say such a thing?"

"Denial," Sasuke dead-panned, walking past Kakashi to relax against the counter and stare curiously at what the others were doing. Aiko gave a little half-wave of greeting with her shoulder, not daring to lift the chopping knife she was using on vegetables.  
"You two are back early," she half-stated, half-asked.

"Yupp." Apparently Kakashi felt it was fine to leave the conversation at that and pulled out his book. As he wandered into the other room, Aiko and Sasuke rolled their eyes in unison. Yamato was still doing his level best to sink into the floor.  
"Long story, but the Mizukage's paranoid half-blind bodyguard thought that I was too young and Kakashi was too obnoxious, so to soothe hurt feelings, Shizune sent us back."

"Pandering to that sounds like a terrible idea," Aiko muttered, chopping with a little more force.

Sasuke shrugged indifferently, peering into the bowl where she was tossing vegetables as she worked. "It wasn't very interesting anyway. The Mizukage has something she wants to ask but is talking around it, and Shizune is politely not committing to anything but saying nice things that ultimately amount to nothing."

"That does sound boring," Yamato agreed. Sasuke looked up at him, condescension written on his fine features.  
"You're still here?" Yamato looked mildly outraged. Sasuke blinked heavy-lidded eyes at him, clearly unimpressed. "Why don't you go and try to seduce Kakashi again. Just don't say anything. Doubtless you'll only drive him away with your lack of wit." The sheer hypocrisy inherent in that –Sasuke was hardly a wordsmith himself- was probably making Yamato see red, but Aiko just snickered quietly into her sleeve.

She'd agreed to a general truce to Yamato, but that didn't mean she intended to be too nice.

They did their best to wait, but Shizune and Sai were gone through lunch and they ended up eating without them. Out of sheer boredom, Aiko had turned to baking while everyone else lazed around like a pride of lions- dangerous but bored and waiting for something to happen. When Shizune made it back to the apartment, she didn't pull any punches.  
"It was a bad idea to bring you, Aiko."

Aiko blinked in surprise, a little hurt. "What'd I do?" She hadn't even left the apartment since they'd been ushered inside and told that they shouldn't wander, someone will be here for your group in the morning, thank you goodnight.

The older girl slumped down into a comfortable chair, shaking her head. "That's not what I meant. Terumi-san asked in a faux-casual way how Konoha had squirreled away the Uzumaki when everyone else thought they were dead. I dodged the question, but she wouldn't have asked if you weren't on her mind." She took a deliberate pause. The room was silently watching her, except for Sasuke who frankly looked confused. "Not too long after, the conversation came around to the former Mizukage and the problems left from his disposal."

Kakashi cursed, lowly under his breath.

'And he told me not to listen to Anko.' She didn't have time to tease him for his hypocrisy.

"I suppose it would be a bit rude to leave," Yamato asked a bit dryly.

Shizune snorted tiredly. "I would say so."

"I don't understand," Sasuke interjected. "What's the connection?" Doubtlessly he sensed the tension but didn't know why. Aiko was maintaining a diplomatic silence. She wasn't sure what she could reasonably pretend to have inferred or figured out on her own, and she had never been told a thing about Kushina. As much as she'd like to wipe the frustration off her kohai's face, it was more intelligent to play ignorant.

"The Uzumaki were famous for their fuinjutsu prowess." Sasuke for once fixed a look at Sai without a trace of hostility, though it was intense. "They were said to be experts nearly from childhood."

"Well, I'm not," Aiko pointed out self-depreciatingly. "I can't give them what they want."

"Do you think they'd believe that if we told them," Shizune groaned, rubbing at her temples. "Although there is quite a bit of merit to what they want done. It would save a lot of lives."

"We're not considering this." The tone of command made everyone straighten involuntarily and look at Kakashi as if waiting for orders. "Shizune, I want to talk to you alone."

"Fine. Everyone out."  
________________________________________

It was a terrible time for her apprentices to be gone. Tsunade felt so old and so tired. Something thoroughly strange was going on, and she had the fear in her gut that the feeling she couldn't quite identify was the premonition that war was brewing.  
It had seemed a good idea at the time, and given a chance she would do it again, but forming that alliance with Sand had apparently started something altogether odd. Villages were solidifying alliances and courting each other and shutting down information. Even their allies were quiet. Sand had called some sort of internal summit and closed up last week, although that in itself wouldn't normally be so alarming because it was probably to choose a Kazekage. They hadn't heard from Grass in weeks, not even from their plants in the village. The minor villages were banding together for protection against some threat that Tsunade did not yet see.

'Perhaps that Terumi woman knew something I didn't,' Tsunade thought rather sourly. The timing certainly was convenient, and it was far too late to tell the team to pull back. If something was about to happen, Konoha would need all the allies they could handle. That in mind, she bit her thumb savagely and healed it with a kiss of minty chakra in the very same instant, using the blood to summon a smaller slug. "Could I have you deliver a message to Shizune-chan?" She asked politely. At the affirmative wiggle, she took a deep breath. "Shizune, I need to make that alliance. Do what you need to do in order that it happens and then get your team home. Something is very wrong, but I don't know what yet. Be safe."

With that, she released her hold on the summon, knowing that even now she would be tugging on her link to Shizune. The instant the girl had a moment, she would excuse herself and take the message.

With at least one thing off her to-do list, Tsunade gave a longing look at the window and strode out to check the pileup of information that Keiko was busily compiling. "Anything I need to look at first?"

Then she noticed just how pale and drawn the older woman looked. "Hai, Hokage-sama. I just got notice that an envoy from a foreign village is at the gate awaiting approval for admittance."

She had to take a moment to be sure she'd heard correctly. That… that was not usual. It was almost always considered a hostile act to arrive at a foreign village without invitation or notice. No wonder her secretary looked nervous- something was about to happen. "Alright then. ANBU." The guard who habitually waited in the office with Keiko flickered into view. She idly noticed the mask- squirrel- and gave out her orders. "I want a low key escort to the fifth meeting room. I will meet with them immediately."

When she saw the forehead protectors, Tsunade paled a little bit. 'Nadeshiko? What the hell?' The all-female village was famously isolationist, staying on their island chain home and only venturing to the closest part of the continent for missions and supplies.

The two women in front of her bowed in unison, letting long braided hair slip over their uniforms. "Greetings, Hokage-sama," they murmured. "Thank you for your hospitality." The light-haired one remained in a bow, but the other straightened to fix her with a fearless gaze. "We have come to negotiate alliance, after the fall of Grass."  
"W-what."  
That was news to her. They exchanged a look that implied they weren't surprised. "We had wondered if you were aware. They were razed almost two weeks ago, by a village calling themselves Sound."

"We did not know what Grass had done to anger this Sound so," the other continued seamlessly. "But when they immediately turned on other small villages, it became clear that they are only interested in wanton genocide."

"Our glorious leader has selected the two most civilized of the major villages as potential allies, and sent teams to gain strength."

She was momentarily perplexed by that- by what standard had they selected the most 'civilized' villages? Nadeshiko was notoriously eccentric- and then she had the bleakly amused thought that this was probably the first time Mist had been referred to as 'civilized.'

"Konoha and Mist," she asked, just to confirm. The placid nods she received in return confirmed her thought, but she was polite enough not to break into hysterical laughter. "Very well. What can Nadeshiko offer Konoha? Konoha offers our strength and protection in times of unprovoked war."

________________________________________  
Danzo scowled, unhappy with the reports he'd been receiving that day. Koharu and Homura were weak to have given up their positions in such an important time. He would never similarly abandon Konoha. He had known about the women at the gate before the Hokage had, and had used the information from his own operatives to discern their motive.

If he'd had the chance, he might have had them killed before they could meet with Tsunade. She was weak, looking for strength outside Konoha instead of by digging deep into the core of their village. His operative with the team in Mist had sent a trail of ink mice that had arrived early in the morning, updating him with what was going on there.

Apparently, Shizune was eager to make alliance on her mentor's orders and had agreed to help Mist seal the Three-Tailed beast in one of their shinobi. This was pure foolishness. Konoha should reach out and take the weapon within its grasp.  
Danzo could not allow Tsunade to make such a decision. It was undoubtedly for the best that he had planted some of his operatives in the main forces after she had unceremoniously pushed the Elders out the door. But it was not enough. He needed more information. The missive he wrote in reply was short and to the point. Gain the trust of your companions while you have the chance. The source of information he'd gathered was different from what he'd had from the Elders before, but no less potent. That idiotic Uzumaki girl and the ill-tempered Uchiha whelp must have had no training in counter-infiltration safety.  
________________________________________  
Omake  
Chuunin exams, about 3 years ago

Suna

The natives snickered, watching the sour-looking foreign competitors glower and burn. There was just something about assassins with shiny red noses and cheeks that made it hard to feel intimidated. Aiko shifted from one foot to another, unhappily trying to somehow prevent her feet from burning where the sand crept in her sandals. 'At least I'm better off than the nin from Rain and Grass,' she thought somewhat optimistically. It was a very small exam group—exactly one competitor from Mist had showed up, without even a sensei. Kakashi was waiting back in the rooms reserved for political guests rather unhappily, but at least he had come with her.  
The exam wasn't actually being held in Suna proper. Instead, the group had been escorted outside of city limits to what appeared to be a patch of desert like any other, except for the craggy outcropping of sandstone that held the entrance to rather extensive underground caves.  
The kunoichi from Iwa was looking particularly smug about that. At least, she had until the proctor had casually mentioned that the whole structure was lined with explosives and causing structural damage to the cave system would almost certainly be a death sentence.

'So that's a no to using earth jutsu, then,' she decided. It didn't matter anyways. She didn't really have an earth jutsu. Most of her repertoire would be of limited use as well—no one was going to be dumb enough to assume sudden rainfall in a cave under a desert was natural and stay in it long enough to be poisoned—but at least she would have some water to work with. There was a good chance that there would be damp further below. Their guide had claimed there was a small reservoir nearby.  
'Those snakes have to be getting water from somewhere.' She tried her very best not to cringe at the large animal sunning itself indolently in a pile of scales. There was something disturbing about a snake that didn't seem to care about being surrounded by a large group of people. Wouldn't most animals hide?

It seemed they were being released into the cave system in one-hour intervals with a partner from another village, a prospect that didn't particularly please any of the participants. As Suna was disproportionately represented, it seemed that just about everyone else got paired with a desert native. When it came her turn, Aiko gave her apparent partner a once-over. He didn't appear to be impressed by her, judging by the way he rolled his eyes and turned away, giving a long-suffering sigh. His teammates snickered. They were all considerably older than she was, and taller too. Aiko was and just about always had been tall for her age, but an eleven year old girl was still bound to be shorter than a fourteen year old boy. He was wearing off-white linen that blended in with the sand. She could see hints of protective metal mesh armor underneath, but his tanned hands were completely uncovered.

He led the way into the darkness, letting her carry the colored flags they were meant to deposit at certain locations to prove they had made it there. She was unamused to see that they had gotten pink.


	34. Chapter 34

"Why won't you tell me what we're doing," Naruto whined. He dragged his feet on the dirt road theatrically, kicking up dust that tickled his sensei's nose and made him itch to sneeze.  
Jiraiya snickered loudly, not bothering to hide his delight in withholding information from his protégé. He had thought it would be amusing to tell the boy that they were going to go somewhere Naruto would like to build anticipation, but he hadn't expected that the kid would never drop the topic. It was just plain obnoxious. At least it was worth a couple of laughs.  
They were close anyways. He'd send the boy ahead to leave their things in a hotel room and get to the rendezvous point.  
________________________________________  
Four days prior.  
"This is ridiculous," Kakashi said flatly, with closed off body language implying he was shutting the topic down. Aiko was familiar with it—that tone signaled that he was fed up and anyone who continued to annoy him would be running laps until their legs fell off or they begged for death to come. Whichever came second.  
Shizune didn't take the hint, instead giving an uncharacteristic scowl. "You're not Hokage, Hatake. You have already established that you think this is a terrible idea. Your objections have been noted, and I'm going over your head."  
Of course Shizune's own teacher had been the one Konoha nin who could rival Kakashi in scariness, so she was inured.  
In the other room, Aiko and Yamato fidgeted uncomfortably. She was perched on the edge of a fluffy chair resting her head on her knees with shut eyes. She wished they would just stop already. After they had been unceremoniously tossed out of the room, things had been very quiet and discussion seemed to wind down… until the acidic tang of a summoning filled the air and a new argument started up.  
"She's thirteen, and sealing is dangerous. Genius or not, you can't honestly think this is a viable solution."  
Sasuke had left before things had gotten to that point, tired of what he saw as a pointless temper tantrum. She didn't blame him for being irritated—without knowing that the past Mizukage had been a jinchuuriki, he had no way to put together the rest of the puzzle. He was probably livid that Yamato had ordered Sai to follow him, but it was for the best not to wander around a foreign village alone. And despite how much she liked Sai (in theory, at least) he was almost certainly spying for Danzo at this point. The less he knew, the better.  
"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I completely forgot that you were put in charge of this mission. I'll just go tell the Mizukage that we don't want that alliance after all, because you have a bad feeling about your student learning a new skill. Grow up already!"  
Yamato gave a heavy sigh that covered Kakashi's angry rebuttal, staring up at the ceiling. The book he had started off with –a godawful boring looking tome with a picture of a wooden bridge on the cover—was resting on his chest sloppily with a couple lonely bent pages he hadn't noticed curled up against his chest.  
"I hate it when mom and dad argue," Aiko joked sardonically, prompting a surprised huff of amusement from her companion.  
The door opened and the oldest members of the team stepped out with a palpable sense of irritation. Shizune furrowed her brow, glancing around the room. "Where's Sasuke?"  
"He went out for a walk," Yamato informed professionally, sitting up and closing his book gently. "I sent Sai with him."  
"I'm sure he's delighted," Shizune sighed. Her hands twitched as if she wanted to reach for something. Instead she just smoothed her hands over the front of her kimono. "In any case. Aiko, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that if I can negotiate it, you have a month to learn something that takes masters years, or at least memorize enough to complete a job and fake having mastered it so that Mist doesn't know we agreed to sell skills you don't have. The good news is that you're going to be meeting with your brother when we leave here. I've sent Jiraiya a message, and as soon as I get a response we'll coordinate a destination."  
Aiko felt all her air escape in surprise. She turned to her shishou for reassurance. He was all but brooding, a veritable dark cloud in the room.  
"And Hatake thinks this is a moronic idea," Shizune added somewhat sardonically. She'd clearly noted the automatic deferral to a man who was definitely not in charge of this mission.  
Aiko shrugged noncommittally. "If Shishou says it is, this is probably an appalling idea. But if it's the only option available, we should get going."  
This was actually an interesting outcome, she mused while the argument started up again. It'd be nice to see Naruto again. She was delighted to have Kakashi as her teacher, but the sheer prestige of having a chance to learn from a Sannin was a little seductive as well.  
Then she wondered why Mist didn't just have Jiraiya do this job. He already knew how. It wasn't like they didn't know who he was—he was internationally famous for much more than his books. He acted like a bit of an idiot, but he was a nearly unrivaled Fuinjutsu genius, Kage class combatant, and intelligence expert.  
Then again, maybe that was the problem? Perhaps they were wary of having such a powerful shinobi within their village and within arm's reach of one of their best weapons.  
If that was the case, they were walking a rather delicate tightrope between having someone dangerous who could do the sealing and having an unthreatening incompetent who could do even more damage than Jiraiya by inadvertently releasing the Tailed Beast when they fucked up the sealing.  
Aiko… well. Before this topic had come up, she would have said that her fuinjutsu skills were respectable. After her crash course under Anko's guidance, she had continued making them as a late-night hobby when she couldn't sleep. Explosive notes and sealing scrolls were expensive as all hell, so it wasn't a bad idea to make her own.  
Not that she used either of them often, to be truthful. Aiko kept a small supply of both on her person most of the time for times when nothing else would do the trick, but they weren't a large part of her combat style. In the past, she had gotten plenty of practice supplying Naruto, who liked to pack everything but the kitchen sink and explode whatever he could whenever he could. Bit of a mad bomber, that one.  
But being asked to seal a tailed beast… well, that was fuinjutsu on a completely different level. Aiko wasn't likely to ever put down her own skills. Her character flaw would lean more closely to valuing them too highly and underestimating others'. She knew that she had some really cool abilities, rockin' genetics, and intelligence significantly beyond what she allowed others to see. She was arrogant enough to believe that if she wanted to, she could become a sealing master capable of doing such a thing. But she wasn't quite arrogant enough to think that she could do that in a month.  
Then again, she knew very little about the theoretical differentiation between expert fuinjutsu and layman practitioners' fuinjutsu. From what she understood, the parts of the discipline she was unfamiliar with had a lot more to do with ways of thinking. Creativity, sensing or making connections, and using cold hard logic were entirely different skill sets than the memorization and repetition of basic principals in standardized formats.  
Then again, she'd been honing her creative abilities for years, so she might adapt well to fuinjutsu.  
It didn't matter either way. She had her orders, so she had to do her best.  
At least it turned out that Mei was perfectly willing to allow a little over a month's time for sealing preparations. She needed to find a suitable container anyway. Aiko winced at that when it was mentioned. It was hard to remember that she would be subjecting a real person to that kind of life. Was it evil? She would never go so far as to say that life as a jinchuuriki wasn't worth living, but it did make things much harder. Would that child hate her?  
They almost certainly would, if she didn't do a good job.  
So all she had to do was perform perfectly on a tight deadline. No big.  
________________________________________  
Jiraiya started snickering at the dumbstruck expression on his apprentice's face. He really did look pretty thick when he let his jaw hang open like that. Even grumpy little Kakashi-kun seemed to let his expression lift momentarily at the sight before returning to his normal glower.  
"Aiko! Bastard! Sensei!" Naruto shrieked, running forward to pull the impassive little redhead into a hug that turned into a spin with her feet in the air. She patiently endured his attentions with a hint of an amused expression around her eyes, patting awkwardly at his back.  
It was like a reversal of their parents—little Kushina had always been so exuberant. Minato had appreciated the attention, but never quite known what to do with it all.  
The thought was a little painful, so he turned away. He thought he saw a hint of ruefulness in Kakashi-kun's gaze that indicated similar thoughts, so he turned his attention to Tsunade's adorable little apprentice. She was still cute, of course, but she looked like she'd been through a wringer. He politely chose not to mention that.  
Jiraiya slid on the charm like a silk coat, practically slithering up into her personal space and dropping his voice a few pitches. "Fancy seeing you here, Shizune-chan. Have I ever told you that you've really grown up into a beautiful young lady?"  
"You could try to sound a little less like a pedophile," the grumpy looking brat lurking by Shizune's side (as if to use her as a shield from Naruto's enthusiasm) grumbled. Jiraiya spared him a scowl. Why had Tsunade taken on that brat again?  
"Jiraiya-sama, thank you for meeting us here," Shizune politely bypassed the insult and the disgusted 'tch' sound that the boy made at being ignored.  
He leered. "Of course, anything for a pretty lady." Then he eyed the rest of the group. "The rest of you can leave, though."  
None of them laughed, probably warned by his reputation. Hatake gave him a smile through his eyes, though, so he counted it as a win. It was always nice to be able to cheer up that gloomy brat. Even Minato had had a hard time with that. Finally, he took pity on the girl and pried her brother off by the scruff of his collar. Naruto dangled, scratching and hissing like an angry kitten, but Jiraiya just held his arm out a little further. When the boy tried to bite him, Jiraiya irritably shook the boy. "Stop that, you're embarrassing me. You'll have plenty of time to catch up." Then he leered theatrically at the girl. "You can call me shishou." He turned back to Shizune, already done with dutifully acknowledging his goddaughter. "Anyway, we shoul-"  
"No."  
Jiraiya startled, turning back to the girl. She'd seemed so quiet in the few times he'd seen her. It was hard to believe she was as disrespectful as her brother. Not for the first time, he noted that there was something creepy about the kid, something just a little off. He couldn't quite explain it, but she seemed to be evaluative and removed even when she put an expression on her face. All the muscles moved correctly, even the creases around her eyes, but it seemed like a dead mask over her real thoughts instead of a reflection of her emotions.  
He was probably just seeing things where nothing existed.  
"I'm very sorry, but I cannot call you shishou." She ignored the scandalized "Aiko!" from Shizune and gave a short bow, letting her hair slide down to expose her vulnerable neck in a show of submissiveness. "Sensei. I can only have one shishou."  
Jiraiya let a little smile tug at his lips. He wasn't altogether opposed to insolence, especially when it was paired with loyalty. Hatake looked mildly floored. Perhaps he hadn't realized he was held in such high regard.  
If Jiraiya was a different type of man, he might have minded the snub. As it was, he let it wash right off his back with a nod. "So be it." To lighten the mood and lift the irritated expression from poor Shizune's exhausted features, he gave a dramatic scowl and pointed at his wayward apprentice. The boy had wiggled out of his grip when Jiraiya had lost interest, and was standing with his arms crossed aggressively. "You may call me sensei, as long as you do not allow his disrespectful habits to taint your own ladylike disposition!"  
There was a far-too-loud snort from the dweeb in the face-framing leaf headband. He turned red as a cherry when most of the group turned to look at him with varying expressions. The kid looked like he wanted to body flicker a mile away, but he didn't apologize.  
"What is going on here?" Naruto demanded. "I don't want you anywhere near my sister, you big pervert!"  
Something twitched in Jiraiya's eye. The kid made it sound like he was completely unable to control himself, liable to victimize a goddamn child. He really didn't appreciate the connotations of his apprentice's constant accusations. Jiraiya was many things, some of which he even acknowledged as faults. He was a super-pervert, not a pedophile or rapist. He liked to admire and flirt with all women because it was enjoyable. It made him feel gallant, it made them feel pretty, and sometimes even served a useful purpose like distraction or information gathering. It could be amusing to flirt with someone who was uninterested or unsuited, like Shizune-chan. But he would never touch a woman without her permission. He was gallant, a real gentleman!  
"I'm not worried," Aiko offered blandly. "And what's so bad about being a pervert anyways? Everyone is. If we weren't, we wouldn't reproduce. Are you trying to claim you stare at pretty girls because your mind is as pure as fresh snow? Do we need to have a talk about where babies come from?"  
Naruto turned a red that nicely commented the purple tint of the Uchiha brat. Jiraiya wasn't entirely certain why that one was coloring. Guilty conscience, perhaps? Lack of oxygen from a sudden inability to breathe?  
'By all the kami, this Uzumaki is going to be an excellent student. She has the one thing her father lacked- a proper appreciation for the place erotica has in high culture.'  
"But Aiko, he's sooo old!" Naruto blustered desperately, waving his hands. Annnd there went the last of his patience.  
"Stop being such a disrespectful brat!" Jiraiya roared. He bopped Naruto on the head—not very hard, but enough to express his displeasure.  
After Naruto was done smothering his sister and whimpering about a little love-tap, he'd turned to some sort of intricate awkward little boy 'I missed you but am too insecure to say so' dance with the grumpy little Uchiha that ended in a tussle in the dirt with Naruto pinned face-down in the dust. The scarily pale teen merely watched silently, thoughts completely hidden behind dark eyes. Jiraiya took the distraction as opportunity to quietly question Shizune-chan as to the details of what he had to do. What he learned wasn't really anymore encouraging than the little she'd communicated to him via slug. (Though convenient as a method of communication, slugs' poor short term memory made sharing complicated messages a Bad Idea).  
Before things got any less intelligent, the group made their way into town proper to invade a noodle restaurant. The proprietor was visibly terrified by the large group of heavily armed ninja, so they seated Naruto at the end between his sister and Kakashi in the hopes that they could curb his enthusiasm.  
It quickly became clear to Jiraiya that Hatake was Not Happy about something. He made the mistake of mentioning this to the woman on his right.  
Shizune winced visibly, as if reliving several days of lecturing and Hatake's unique …well, let's call it charm. (He was the kung-fu master of passive aggressive bitchiness. Even Jiraiya knew that.)  
He knew the feeling. Tsunade was not best pleased about this arrangement, even less so that (apparently) Hatake had possessed the gall to try to tell her he would be staying. He'd lost that battle, but had perhaps won the war. Apparently, Hatake had managed to teach some of that insolence (presumably so as to give Tsunade aneurisms far into the future).  
Aiko had made the phenomenally inappropriate decision to calmly inform the Mizukage that she would not be party to sealing a tailed beast into an infant (and didn't that make Jiraiya feel like shit?) and so to expect a missive detailing the specifications she expected the new jinchuuriki to fit. She had dodged giving those specifications on the spot by saying that she would need to confer with Jiraiya first as he was more experienced. Jiraiya had been told to convince her to use an infant—their developing chakra systems made the jinchuuriki much more powerful and made the transition easier—but he wasn't sure if he had the heart to do it. It was possible to put a tailed beast into an adult, after all, and even Minato hadn't been certain he believed the benefits outweighed the fact that an infant could not possibly consent to a life-changing procedure. He'd been a big believer in self-determination.  
Obviously, Minato had made his choice and done it anyway when he had needed to. But then again, Aiko had seen what it was like for a jinchuuriki to grow up around people who had been victimized by the beast they carried. He wasn't sure he wanted to start that conversation and hear what she had to say about how Naruto had grown up.  
The hints he had were bad enough.  
"Ah." He cleared his throat uncomfortably, figuring it would probably not be reassuring to tell Shizune that he agreed with Hatake about the wisdom of this endeavor. He had no expectations that Aiko would be able to manage this, largely because it was unwise to have any expectations at all before he had gauged the girl's aptitude and current abilities. "I'll take care of it, Shizune-chan. You can count on me."  
Oh, hell. Jiraiya silently damned his chivalry, but he'd had to do something to wipe the sadness and stress lines off the girl's face.  
Thus committed, the toad Sannin was anxious to find out what he was working with. He rushed through his meal as politely as possible, and then cleared his throat to catch attention. "Alright. Naruto, Aiko, say your goodbyes. We need to get to work."  
Naruto pouted, but his sister was more businesslike. At least, he would have thought so until she went around the table passing out hugs, starting with her shishou and moving to Shizune before inflicting one on a suddenly very tense Sai. The Uchiha balked when she got to him, but she blinked down at him innocently as if he made no sense. Eventually, with a sigh he compromised with a handshake. The dweeb in the face plate snickered, until he got his own hug.  
Jiraiya rolled his eyes. "Alright, that's enough." Effortlessly, he picked up a teenager in each hand and hoisted them up. Aiko was mildly surprised, but Naruto was resigned and hung limply.  
"Bye everyone!" Naruto waved, getting half-hearted replies from the table before Jiraiya set off to the hotel where he'd reserved two rooms.  
"Alright girl. Tell me what you know about seals."  
The abrupt subject change seemed to take her off-guard, but she amicably and competently enough talked about core concepts and demonstrated proficiency in the standard language and sigils when he quizzed her. She had little to no theoretical knowledge about the higher level work that he and her parents had both practiced. That was what he'd expected, to be honest, but it would have been nice to be starting with more.  
Naruto looked on blankly while Jiraiya heaved a sigh and slumped against the wall, hands in his pockets.  
"Are there any useful similarities between sealing physical material and volumes of chakra?" The girl looked curious, but also mildly concussed. Maybe it was just her large, dreamy eyes and default expression. Jiraiya re-evaluated his earlier hypothesis that there was something creepy about her. The more he looked, the more she looked like her mind was a million miles away contemplating unicorns. That could explain the detachment, he supposed.  
Still, the question wasn't a bad one.  
"Very few," he admitted honestly. "It's going to be even more difficult because this seal is going to have to be adapted for non-human chakra. Luckily, your study materials here," he jerked his head towards a now-napping-Naruto, "will at least provide you with an example of demonic chakra so you can get a feel for what you'll be working with."  
"I see." Aiko twisted a lock of hair around her fingers, and he had to blink away from the light it reflected into his face. "Will… Can this work?"  
Jiraiya considered telling her a nice lie, like he had Shizune. But he shook his head. "I can't teach you the kind of mastery over seals it takes to understand and design a process like this in a month. I couldn't if you were the Sage of Six Paths, for crying out loud. But," he held up a finger to stop the slump of her shoulders, "I can teach you to fake it like the best of the Red Lantern District professionals. I will probably end up designing the seal you'll use and help you memorize it, as well as the most likely problems that could occur and how to recognize and deal with them. Mist isn't going to have anyone who will be able to tell the difference. So as long as nothing horrible and unforeseen happens, we're going to cheat like a Nara."  
"Nara cheat so often?" she asked, sounding mildly amused.  
He shook his head gravely. "The important thing isn't how often they cheat. It's that they cheat intelligently."  
At least she had a good memory. Naruto was decidedly displeased about being left out of what was going on, so Jiraiya started him on learning the sigil set just to shut him up. Aiko proved to be a convenient study aide—all the whining he'd given Jiraiya died in his mouth when his sister raised an eyebrow at him.  
Which was really unfair, he noted. Why would he listen to his sister and not his teacher? It defied logic.  
________________________________________  
I forgot to give a definition for a term last chapter—I'm not certain if it will come up again, but I thought that if I used it and only added this explanation to the last chapter, people could miss it and be confused later. So bear with me if you already know this.  
Aiko referred to Yamato as a prospective 'Yamato Nadeshiko'. Yamato is actually a very old-fashioned term for a Japanese nationality (loosely speaking, as identity politics are actually rather complicated). 'Nadeshiko', on the other hand, is a certain type of flower. Together the connotation is that of an idealized Japanese woman, something like an English Rose or a Southern Belle. This term was used as a sort of center for a cult of femininity- a very specific type of femininity where women were supposed to be pretty (but modest), display familial loyalty (literally, by obeying parents, but also by things like continuing the family business and other traditions and by fighting for the family if necessary) and be skilled at domestic tasks. Aiko is making the joke that Kakashi is a traditional kind of guy and that Yamato needs to be a traditional kind of girl in order to get his attention. This is, of course, ridiculous. For many reasons (although don't take that to mean a male can never be 'Yamato Nadeshiko', this can happen although it is a bit subversive of the term's original intention).  
The joke also comes up because the village of Nadeshiko (the all-female village from canon that I totally did not make up) entered in that chapter and I thought it was mildly amusing to continue variations on that theme. I know, I'm a total dweeb.


	35. Chapter 35

"Man, this is awesome, 'ttebayo!" Naruto practically bounced around the room, waving his second successful seal in his grubby little fist. The first one had left a scorch on the hotel comforter that would never be repairable. Jiraiya silently kissed his deposit goodbye and decided to leave very early in the morning when it came time to skip town. In the meantime, he made a note to request that the maid service stopped.

"What did I tell you gaki?" He physically stopped the boy from fidgeting so much by grabbing his shoulders. Watching Naruto get excited made him feel incredibly tired. Had he ever had that much energy? "I've been telling you for months that fuinjutsu is a noble art!"

"Who cares about noble? That sounds so boring. Boom!"

He couldn't get too irritated, however, even as his apprentice cackled. Despite the fact that Aiko had been the one to bully Naruto into sitting down and learning the seal language, he was pretty pleased that he'd managed to get the boy at least mildly curious in the art. And she really had known how to speak his language—literally, they babbled at each other incomprehensibly whenever they ran into a difficult concept Aiko couldn't seem to explain in the way she had learned or if they got distracted and forgot he was there. It was altogether strange and humbling—where did they learn another language? He'd have to remember to ask, it didn't sound like anything he had ever heard.

It had probably been a terrible idea to teach a teenage boy how to make his own explosives, but he'd thought that type of seal had much more likelihood of actually holding Naruto's attention.

Lo, it was both terrible and great to behold. He gently pried the seal out of his apprentice's hands, already prepared to counter his protests. "Naruto, you're so excited that your chakra levels are wavering. If you're not careful, that's going to blow up in your hand, and then your sister will kill me."

Aiko gave a distracted grunt of acknowledgement, curled up in the same armchair where she had been for hours. Unlike her brother, she actually had a good attention span. (Then again, the comparison may not have been fair. She was under more pressure. When he'd put Naruto under pressure in past, the boy had always pulled through, whether it be the Rasengan, Shadow Clones, or learning to summon).

He had been expecting to get a much more academic student than the one he'd been working with for almost a year now. But despite Tsunade's notation that Aiko had been noted to be of above average intelligence, Jiraiya kept being surprised. If anything, Tsunade hadn't given the girl enough credit. She had taken to seals as a duck to water with an intense, unwavering focus and ability to intuitively piece concepts together. It was like she was working with a dictionary's worth of background knowledge ready to be applied to theoretical scenarios. It was uncanny. (Jiraiya took a moment to roll his eyes at himself for using ducks in a metaphor. He was starting to sound like sensei. Old coot had always loved birds.)

Her performance with some of the more technical and less imaginative aspects was less thrilling, however. She made simple mistakes in things like constructing an array that would filter chakra.

Well, he amended, it wasn't fair to call them 'simple' mistakes. The concepts she struggled with were still advanced ones, but the way that she breezed ridiculously high up in other areas made it hard to him to keep that perspective. She just couldn't seem to understand how to alter the array to take into account the nature of the chakra in use and in contact. He would have to teach her that by rote.

He had decided that with her chakra nature, it would be easiest for her to demand a jinchuuriki candidate with water-nature as well. She would only have to account for one nature translation that way. If needed, Mei could be fed some garbage about the Three-Tails being a water natured beast, but he didn't really care what she thought.

He'd sent a letter to that effect last week.

Naruto had actually coerced his sister into adding onto some of his silly letters. Jiraiya didn't see the point—she had seen most of their friends in Konoha less than a month ago, and she couldn't possibly want to write to that nutty Suna jinchuuriki or any of the friends Naruto had made along their trip so far. (Seriously, you can't take that kid anywhere without running into someone who he wanted to make his friend. If he didn't stop using the magic of friendship on every sad or troubled individual he met, he was going to have to spend more time writing letters than training.)

"I'm going out." Jiraiya pulled on his coat, tossing a look at the two teens over his shoulder. "You two hungry? I could bring something back, or you could actually venture out into the real world."

Naruto gave a longing look to his sister that she didn't seem to see. She had already turned her attention back to the book balanced on her knees and the notebook where she was taking notes with illustrations. "Food would be nice."

He stuck his lip out and pouted, but Naruto flopped back down on the other bed and bounced. "Yeah, bring us back food, ero-sennin!"

Jiraiya narrowed his eyes. 'Hard-working Aiko gets beef. Naruto is getting the driest chicken karaage I can find.'

It was hard to believe that Naruto still hadn't caught on to the way that Jiraiya passive-aggressively rewarded and punished him for disrespect. You would think that working under someone like Hatake would have taught him to at least spot it, even if he didn't want to alter his actions.

'Who am I kidding, Naruto is far too clueless.' 

Aiko actually looked up, mildly startled, when the full grown man in the room burst into giggles before stumbling out the door. Naruto merely rolled his eyes. "The old guy does that sometimes." He kicked his feet against the singed bedcovers, then rolled over onto his stomach to make a grab for the remote to the antique television in the room.

She rolled her eyes and did her best to tune it out. Naruto loved those awful soaps.

In her past life, she must have been terrible at math. Just utterly abominable. Sometimes she felt a connection straining to be made and she was sure it meant that just beyond what she consciously remembered was a concept she had learned but forgotten. It was like having a word on the tip of her tongue. She felt like if she only scraped it against her teeth long enough it would come off and make sense.

But it never did.

Luckily, not all of sealing was analogous to math at all.

Naruto turned to stare at her. Aiko pretended not to notice, immersed as she was in what she was learning.  
"Hey. Aiko."

She swallowed the sigh she wanted to heave and looked up, blinking away weariness. 'I can't be rude. It's not his fault I'm in over my head.' He was just excited to spend some time together after a year apart. There was nothing wrong with that, even if it did make it harder for her to do the studying she desperately needed to do.

"Yes, Naruto?"

He gave her a grin that she associated on some deep, primal level with the Grinch who stole Christmas. She recoiled. "I invented a totally new technique and kicked the pervert's ass with it. Wanna see?"

'My keen intuition tells me that this isn't going anywhere good.' She closed her book and stood, giving a stretch. "Sounds good. Should we go outside?" Okay, so she lied. But how could she tell him that she already knew most of the things he would learn?

He shook his head, flushing just a little bit across his cheeks. "Ah, no. I think it's better in here." He brought his hands up into a cross. "Sexy Jutsu!"

'And that went exactly where I expected it would.'

Except that it didn't. When the smoke cleared, it became frighteningly obvious that she wasn't looking at Naruko. She probably had an expression that would have looked more appropriate if she'd just been slapped with a fish, because Naruto giggled.  
Or rather, the totally sexy seventeen year old version of herself did. Anko, eat your heart out and prepare to hand over your 'Sexy Kunoichi' title.

'Suddenly I care about my looks. I want to look like that.'

She felt her cheeks burn red, and she giggled. "That… That is just the best thing ever. I'm super flattered."  
SexyAiko cooed, posing cutely. "Mou, you really think so?"

"Yeah." Aiko strode over to examine the facsimile from different angles. "Although this is definitely intended to appeal more to a male heterosexual gaze. Is that intentional? It's not accurate, and it could stand some refinement."

Naruto puffed back into himself with a pout and a baffled expression. "What do you mean? This version is perfect! I worked on it for hours!"

She shook her head. "Ah, never mind." As long as she didn't go nuts and get any extra ribs implanted, she wouldn't end up with the oddities of Naruto's Sexy Jutsu anyway. (and if she got to that point, she undoubtedly had bigger things to worry about, like her traumatic brain injury that led to decreased judgment).

________________________________________

He had to stop for a moment to gape. Shizune blinked dumbly and lowered her arm guard as if to check that he really had cracked it in half. Then she gave a shriek.

"Ah! You did it!"

Sasuke normally tried to go with 'stoic' or at least 'strong and silent', but he couldn't help but crack a positive facial expression. (Even in the comfort of his mind he couldn't call it a grin.) "I did it," he said with no small amount of satisfaction.

Granted, he hadn't intended to at that moment. He had simply slipped into the action he had been practicing nonstop lately. Tsunade had taught him the theory behind her augmented strength, but warned that it would take years for him to be able to utilize it to the fullest potential. Strength augmentation wasn't unique to Tsunade, but the heights that she took it to were.  
Still, he was fairly proud of his first successful usage. Sasuke was sure that now that he knew what it felt like, he could replicate the circulation and alteration in his limbs.

He was actually pleased enough that he didn't react in time to Shizune's exuberant hug. Sasuke instantly stiffened, fighting two instinctive urges.

The first urge was to use the substitution technique with a cactus.

The second urge was to go for the throat with a kunai.

But… he did like Shizune-senpai passably. And she was just caught up in the moment. But. He did have standards of behavior to uphold. He could not let her think that her behavior was appropriate or desirable.

"This isn't going to be an everyday thing," Sasuke warned darkly.

Shizune laughed in his ear and let him go. "Only on special occasions. I promise. Chya, that was wonderful timing! Were you saving that until the last minute before I had to go?"

He hadn't been, but he gave her a smirk that let her read whatever she wanted into his expression.

Aside from the fact that he had been drafted to cat-sit, all was going well. (and he was still a little taken aback that Karin had been bold enough to assume that he wouldn't mind, only telling him at the last minute because apparently 'the pet-sitters are so expensive it should be a crime, I wouldn't pay them if everyone else in the world were dead. Right, Smaug?' *angry meow* )  
Though he liked cats in general and as a concept experienced from a distance and perhaps photographs, he wasn't pleased about that particular feline. There was something seriously wrong with it.

Sasuke didn't have the heart to tell Karin no, though he made clear it was just this once. Not for her own sake, but because he actually felt a little pity for Hinata, who would doubtlessly be the one to find a cat-caretaker if he didn't agree. Even if he hadn't worked in the Hokage's office and heard about every stupid thing that happened until he thought he would vomit, Sasuke would have known that something was seriously wrong with Hyuuga Hinata and her family.

Or rather, wrong with Hinata, as she had reneged completely on her name. She'd seemed a little surprised that her family was fighting her decision so hard, but they had no legal recourse to prevent her from leaving. If the clan head had been anyone other than Hyuuga Hiashi, Sasuke might have thought it was his inept way of proving that he wanted her to stay in the family.  
As it was in fact, the notoriously unpleasant man in question, Sasuke rather thought that Hiashi was trying to cow his wayward daughter into obedience by frightening her with all the terrible things she would have to agree to.

She must have been prepared, because in the hearing where Sasuke had taken notes (Tsunade couldn't be bothered to attend such a farce) Hinata had shown a hundred times more spine than he'd ever imagined she could have. Hiashi must have regretted discarding the girl as useless—she looked more like an impassive, powerful leader than he did when he threatened her with a list of repercussions (and rapidly generating ability at faking impassivity), long past the point where it was obvious she already knew. It must be unpleasant to know your child is that desperate to get away from you.

Yes, she was aware that she could never have biological children.

Yes, she was aware that she would have no last name unless she chose one for herself.

Yes, she was aware that she was legally bound to keep all the secrets of the Hyuuga and could not pass them along to students she might take.

Yes, she had something to add for the record. "Fuck you." A pause. "Thank you for your time, Hyuuga-san."

Sasuke had to look up for a moment and briefly contemplate if the literal insult was more biting than referring to her father by his last name and an insufficient title. Ouch.

Anko and Karin had broken out into thoroughly inappropriate clapping and hooting at that point, accompanied by surprised laughter from Kiba and near simultaneous face-palms from Kurenai and Shino. She had a pretty good cheering section, actually.  
For the first time, he deigned to acknowledge her as a person beyond the social niceties when she had returned to file her final declaration paperwork the next day. She'd flushed tomato red and bit her lip before leaning into whisper, "I-I'd been practicing that for weeks."

Unfortunately, he seemed to be just about the only one outside her circle of friends who was impressed. Granted, most people didn't care. But he'd actually seen her spat at on the street by Branch Clan members (baffling, shouldn't they emphasize with her?) and noted that she didn't have many fans in the traditionalist sects of town either.

Morons. It was all well and good to say that one should be loyal to their clan, but if someone from the clan wronged you, then you had every right to retaliate. Hinata only had one form of recourse.

It was just as well that the only all-female team in the village had been designated to be Shizune's escort to Nadeshiko. Hinata needed to get out of town.

Although he saw the value in it now, that assignment had frankly perplexed him when Tsunade had talked through it. Did they really only have one female team? They weren't even an official unit, for crying out loud. Sasuke could think of three all-male units off the top of his head, plus the one that had the disturbingly masculine and uncouth Ino in it. (Sasuke had been raised to think that ladies didn't scream and hit people all the time, no matter how infuriating Shikamaru was. Well-bred people could keep their temper in check, ladies especially. If they had to retaliate, they would do so calmly and with sufficient severity to insure the problem would no longer continue.)

________________________________________  
"We're almost fourteen," Naruto pointed out idly, five days before Aiko had to go back to Mist.

Understandably, she was preoccupied. Jiraiya had drawn up the exact seal she would be using and she had felt Naruto's own demonic chakra until she was certain she knew she could slap down the translation signals at the right frequency. With the seal memorized, all she really had to do was be prepared for anything that could go wrong.

That was surprisingly not soothing.

The most frustrating part was that Aiko was certain she almost understood what was going on. If she had just a little more time, she would be able to put together the pieces that she was reading into a coherent whole.

But the point was moot, as she already had been notified that Mei would be sending an escort to meet her. Mist was still insistent about not having Jiraiya in the village, and Tsunade had to agree after they pointed out what he'd done the last time he had been there. There was doubtlessly a great story there, but no one was telling it to Aiko.

Still, something very strange had to be going on. Why would Konoha let her go there without a friendly escort? Okay, Mist was supposedly friendly, she knew, but not in any real sense. She had to be missing something very important, and it nagged at her.  
"Aiko?"

She came back to the real world with a start, rubbing her face with her free hand. "Sorry, I got distracted."

It was hard to care about her birthday when she would be doing the riskiest thing of her life to date on October sixth.  
"What do you want to do?" He stood on the bed and bounced idly, reaching his fingers up to scrape at the ceiling. Little flakes of something white fluttered down to litter the bedcovers. She made a face.

Naruto incorrectly interpreted her expression, stopping his movements to point at her. It might have been more imposing if he hadn't been still bouncing slightly from the momentum he had accumulated. "Don't say you don't want to do anything! We can celebrate tonight. I bet there's lots of stuff to do here, in scenic… Where are we, again?"

Aiko shrugged. She had no idea, frankly. Jiraiya liked to move them around a lot, and she'd been rather distracted.

Naruto steamrolled past that potential problem with his usual brand of nonchalant bravado. "Let's go already?"  
"Alright, alright," she sighed, heaving herself to her feet. She had barely left the books for a month and a half. Maybe she should get some sun. Her performance might be better if she were relaxed than if she crammed, anyways.

She wasn't entirely sure where Jiraiya was at that moment. He often went out at night. Aiko pulled aside the curtain and blinked out. "Huh. It's still day."

Naruto gave her a scathing look. "You really do need to get out of the room sometimes."

"I do," she protested weakly. "I leave every da-"

He rolled his eyes, anticipating her argument. "Workouts don't count."

When they walked out, Naruto pocketing the key, Aiko felt that she vaguely remembered arriving in this particular town. She let her feet guide her to the business district. That wasn't hard, largely because hotels tended to be near the attractions.  
'Not that there's much to be attracted to,' she thought dryly. Jiraiya seemed to like thoroughly boring towns. It wasn't a particularly small place by any means, but it seemed to be an agricultural community with very little to do. Heavens only knew what Jiraiya could be doing out all night, coming back in the early morning smelling of perfume. What indeed. Aiko had chosen not to enlighten her poor brother. He seemed completely convinced that Jiraiya was repulsive and no woman would ever like him. Aiko wasn't attracted herself—that would be taking the concept of the 'older man' a bit too far—but she could see the appeal in a detached sort of way.

Naruto, in contrast to her boredom, seemed to think that everything was the Best Thing Ever. A new jutsu? Best Thing Ever. A movie he'd seen a dozen times? Also the Best Thing Ever! A new friend? Best Thing Ever! Homicidal Maniac? New Best Friend, which translates to Best Thing Ever!

That was slightly exaggerated, but Aiko didn't think anyone would blame her. To be fair, (to her knowledge) he'd only made friends with one homicidal lunatic, and she'd done her best to befriend the same one. Yeah. That holds up to scrutiny.  
Okay, maybe they would blame her. She decided not to make that joke aloud, even if Naruto's inadvertent impression of a Golden Retriever on crack cocaine was hilarious.

When the escort did come, Aiko was surprised to see someone she recognized. It took only a few seconds to guess at the meaning behind the selection of a one-man squad.

"Ao-san, thank you for escorting me." She gave a respectful bow, feeling Jiraiya's ambient body heat from her side and knowing it would probably be best to deflect tensions.

The Mizukage's bodyguard had probably been sent for both practical and political reasons. Firstly, it eliminated any chance that Mist could claim this operation had not fallen under their purview. That protected Konoha if it fell through. That thought soothed her raw nerves slightly.

The second implication that came to mind was that it could be meant for her comfort—she only knew a few Mist-nin and Ao wasn't particularly friendly, but at least she could be relatively certain she wasn't being led into an ambush by a separatist. The thought had crossed her mind. Doubtlessly Mist had done their best to keep the location and time of the sealing confidential, but there was always someone better and smarter than you (unless you were Kakashi-shishou).

The selection was also practical due to Ao's elite status and hidden, 'secret' Byakugan. He would be well-equipped to detect and deal with any deception on her or Konoha's part. Even without knowing about his hidden eye (as she had to pretend) seeing him might have made her wary about her chances of succeeding at any plot.

Luckily for her, there was no secret plot. All she had to do was fulfill Konoha's part of the bargain.

________________________________________  
Sai would rather have preferred that it did not come to this. He felt no particular desire to harm the strange girl who had been his teammate the last time he had been in this country. Then again, he also did not feel a particular desire to harm the three root members who were his teammates now.

It would be a stretch to claim that Sai liked Uzumaki Aiko or that he had any feelings towards her in particular at all. He simply did not, even though she occasionally inspired something that might be confusion (an itch in his throat that wanted to be satisfied with a question, but no). But she was a useful source of information despite being less emotionally volatile than the Uchiha he'd had to shadow, a respectable combatant, and she appealed to him aesthetically. Perhaps he would draw something inspired by her if she was killed.

Another man might have been thinking of her exotic coloring or smile when he thought that. Sai found her interesting despite them, instead of because of them. Or rather, the way that her flat character seemed to contrast with the bright colors she wore, like a rainbow twisted into a poisonous serpent with white, white teeth and a pointed smile. She would translate well to two dimensions, he thought.

He still had yet to investigate what she had babbled about after he had informed her that she had a certain flatness about her. At least it was less displeasing feedback than what he had gotten after he realized that the Uchiha's poor attitude could only be compensating for something. Perhaps one was not supposed to give honest character assessments when bestowing nicknames? Then again, if that were true, the Uzumaki might have reacted with more force, as the Uchiha had. Difficult to say.

But he had been told to ingratiate himself into their fold, and so he had to learn how to blend in with them. Regardless of the problems that his literary resources had not anticipated, he had been told to learn, and so he would.

Ingratiating himself had gone much more smoothly with the Uzumaki than it had with the Uchiha. He had done his best to hold a conversation with the young male, but even his best efforts had not yielded anything nearly as successful as his conversation with the Uzumaki about art.

There would be further opportunities for practice. He had been told not to damage village resource Uzumaki unless absolutely necessary and make certain she could return despite the pursuing Mist squad she would undoubtedly have. The only example of a rare bloodline ability was to be preserved if at all possible for further usage, but measurably less valuable than a newly made, vulnerable jinchuuriki. In the first few hours after the sealing, the jinchuuriki would lose consciousness and be completely unable to call upon the tailed beast even if they knew how.

Sai had to blink himself back to the real world when his next footstep actually made a whisper of sound and three masks swiveled to look at him as if for orders. He noticed with a slight decrease in impassivity that he had drifted away into his own thoughts for several seconds. That was most inappropriate. He couldn't let Danzo-sama down.

________________________________________  
Babbly Author's Note that is Totally Not Necessary

I have considered it, but if I were to thank everyone who gave me a review that made me realize something had to happen because it would be totally fabulous, you all would be mad with me for making you excited with notifications for ten thousand words chapters with only four thousand words of content. Just a reminder—many times, someone has pointed out something in a review that I thought I had made clear, or that I should have specified, and the story has improved because of it. I'm not going to 'fess up to what I've decided until it's time to write it in, but several pairings and story arcs have been totally influenced by conversations via review and messages. And I want to write every time I get one. My boss probably thinks I'm having an affair via text because no phone message should make a girl grin that much. You, anonymous lurker or logged-in member, are awesome.

If you want this story to be more awesome, feel free to write in and weigh in on what would do that. If it is already perfect, you should feel even freer to write in and tell me that, because I just literally fell over twice in ballet class this morning and I need someone to tell me I'm doing something well. (It might be an improvement to have two left feet. I could probably walk on those at least.)


	36. Chapter 36

"Are you ready?"

Aiko ignored the question, letting her gaze slide off of Ao and examine the place where she had been brought. Mist had made the (not unwise) decision to perform the sealing well outside of village boundaries to hopefully prevent destruction if she failed. Of course, they had also had to position her close enough to Mist that reinforcements could arrive if something went wrong.  
They had likely also had the foresight to post teams between her position and Konoha. If she were to try to make a break for that direction with their new jinchuuriki or even just the tailed beast itself, they would be waiting to interfere.

She made a note not to make any sudden movements in that direction. They would almost certainly hit before asking any questions. They were trying to pretend that they trusted their new allies, but Mist certainly wasn't skimping on security measures. They must have offered something Konoha really wanted in order for Shizune to have agreed to this. Kakashi-shishou had been right. It was an idiotic idea, and if she made a single wrong move, she may as well kill herself to spare herself the trouble of dying horribly from potent exposure to poisonous chakra.

Aiko did her best to remind herself that she had always done her best work under pressure. It was true and she was hoping like hell that the trait applied to this instance.

"You are the candidate, I take it?"

The boy sitting cross-legged outside the decrepit little house glanced up at her with a little sullenness in his expression. He was all elbows and knees, clearly in that awkward stage where his weight hadn't managed to keep pace with his height.  
"Hai, Uzumaki-sama."

Well, that was weird. Sure rolled off the tongue nicely, though. She tabled that thought for later and let her brow furrow. "No need to be so formal. I'm going to be seeing you naked, after all," she drawled, moving to grab his wrist and probe with her chakra to make sure he was water-natured. Good thing he was too young for her to ogle, or this procedure might have been even harder to focus on. "Aiko is fine. And you are?"

He flushed, even down his neck. "Shinji, Aiko-sama."

She let the inappropriate honorific slide and her eyebrow raise. "Shinji, huh? You ready to do this?" Aiko jerked her head to indicate that he should follow her inside and pried open the door, swiping through the seal on the door that was doubtlessly meant to keep it sterile and free of natured chakra that might contaminate it.

Ao cursed, frowning darkly at her. "There was no need for that. I will not be providing assistance."

She snorted with a bit of intentional arrogance. "That's an amateur's trick. I don't need it."

That was a lie. If she were ever making her own seal, she would definitely need to use that trick. But with one that Jiraiya had helped her design? If it failed, it wouldn't be because of a piddling factor like chakra contamination.

Besides, she was pretending to be an expert. If Ao was busy being irritated by her lack of modesty about her expertise, he wouldn't be counting how long it took her to get the job done. Hopefully. Her strokes were not nearly as effortless as those of a real seal master, simply from lack of practice. A month of cramming and a few years of dabbling did not an expert make. Then again, who in Mist would know the difference? To hear Jiraiya tell it, their seal 'masters' might serve their village better by starting up a band or moving away entirely so that Water Country wasn't quite so embarrassed by their hilarious ineptitude.  
It was also possible that Jiraiya was just a sealing snob. If so, he must have really thought her promising, because he gave her yellowed sealing notes from 'an old student' of his. It had been a struggle not to roll her eyes at his feeble attempt to share something of her father with her without actually telling her that this was an inheritance of sorts. If she hadn't known what they could contain—the hiraishin, the holy grail of fuinjutsu—then she might have tossed them into storage.

Aiko heaved a sigh, examining the workstation she would be using and holding out a hand for the container with the Tailed Beast. The roiling chakra inside almost took her aback—it seemed much more active than that inside Naruto. Then again, it had been used much more frequently in the last decade. Perhaps the Three-Tails' mind was closer to the surface.

Wondering if she could make contact with that apparent consciousness, Aiko extended a tendril of her own chakra into the agitated blend of leftover chakra (that had to be Yagura's, she noted distantly) and

A  
Rush  
Of mOVement  
And  
air  
trappeD  
TRApped  
BoiLIng over  
wait  
TouCh  
You?

Aiko pulled back into herself with a lurch, blinking furiously to ward off a sudden headache. Was… was that madness what it was like for Naruto to touch Kurama, or was that distinctly the three-tailed beast? She couldn't help but feel sorry, stupidly sorry for a creature that would kill her as soon as look at her. Her stomach churned. Did she really want to do this sealing? It... It might help save the Three-Tails (and I wish I knew its name, she thought crossly, it's disgraceful to use the species name instead as if it isn't conscious) from Akatsuki. On the other hand, letting it be free even for that brief period of time was arguably less inhumane than what she was about to do for a village she didn't particularly care for.

'Sorry,' she tried to send through a featherlight touch of her own chakra that twisted into the meld and was almost instantly devoured by a foreign mind hungry for a gasp of air and contact. 'I'm sorry.' She was careful not to let herself be sucked in again—if she lost herself, she might not be able to claw her way back next time.

It had been decided that this seal would use the Hama gate much like Naruto's seal, so Shinji would be on the floor and doing his very best to be still.

'This is going to take at least an hour. That's a long time to lie back and think of England.' 

Then she frowned slightly. Unbeknownst to her, her companions seemed to take that as a critique of the preparations and looked around nervously. 'It's just… the phrase 'Lie back and think of Mist' just doesn't have the same sort of feel to it, but I suppose that's more relevant to the situation at hand.'

"Well babe, we may as well get started. Ao, if you're remaining in the building I want you in the anteroom. I'm sure you're going to be staring the whole time, but do try not to do anything distracting like move around or drop dead." She (very calculatedly) waved absentmindedly at Shinji. "and you get naked. Just a minute, I have a towel you can use to protect your precious modesty, but that's all." If she really were an expert, she would be thinking about variables and what she was about to do, so she should appear to be distracted. Hence the drop in social niceties.

With an easy motion, she untucked a scroll the height of her palm and laid it out on the floor, using just one finger and a subtle brush of chakra to unseal it, drawing out a collection of ink, brushes, and the previously mentioned towel. It was fuschia and stained with bleach.

It had been purchased specifically for this use, actually, and faux-aged the day before Ao had shown up. Her supplies should look well-used and personalized, as if she had just grabbed them out of her own house at some point. It might tick Ao off a bit to think that it hadn't even occurred to her to check her supplies before agreeing to do something Mist thought was pretty damn important. But it would also help legitimize her and make the implicit claim that she did a lot of messy fuinjutsu.  
'A whole lot goes into pretending we don't care what they think,' she thought with some amusement as she tossed the towel over her shoulder to the boy she could hear undressing. 'Has there ever been a more elaborately stupid deception between supposed allies in Elemental Nations history?' 

She answered her own question easily: Probably, but she would never know of it. It wasn't like Konoha was ever going to admit to this particular farce either.

The two males lurked uncomfortably while she unstopped her blood-tinted ink and casually scribed the containment seals at the four corners and the ceiling in the exact center. The first time she had practiced this, she had idiotically put one on the floor as well. Jiraiya had cuffed her over the head for that.

"What's the point of that, idiot? Are you so worried about the badgers knowing what's going on that you'll risk letting your subject smear ink all over the place with their no doubt grubby skin?"

Aiko let herself smile as she completed the easy, familiar motions.

When she turned to see Ao lurking in the doorway suspiciously and Shinji scratching at one leg with his other foot, she rolled her eyes. 'This sealing would go much more smoothly without them here.'  
Unfortunately, it was not to be. So she made do.

"Lay down, with your head exactly under that concentric circle design," she ordered. "No, on your back. Don't worry so much about the towel. Ao's seen it all before and I have a little brother."

Aiko knelt at his left side and lined up five bottles alongside his hips, in easy reach. Then she had a thought and smoothed her hand over her hair to make certain that nothing had fallen out of the braid falling over her shoulder—contaminating the sealing with human genetic material was a phenomenally stupid way to die. It was fine, so she placed her right palm on his heart and made the first stroke with his left, forcing his chest to still when he shivered.

"Stop that." The trailing tendril became the base of a spiral. She spider-webbed tiny elemental symbols along the outside edge, along with the translating key that Jiraiya had beat into her head. The boy under her hands shivered. She tapped her right hand in warning. "I know the ink is cold, but even minute movements could distort what I'm doing. Believe me, you do not want that."  
With the basic form done, Aiko lifted her right hand and set the container on Shinji's heart where her palm had been before. "This is the tricky part," she muttered, brow furrowed.

It was also the part that took the longest time. With excruciating care and repetition, Aiko inked a filtering seal onto the top of the little box that currently contained a three-tailed demon and placed it exactly on top of the matching seal over Shinji's gut. He gasped and flinched, eyes wide open. "You'd be better off with those closed," she advised gently. "The calmer you are, the less uncomfortable this will be."

If she could have, she would have drugged him for this. But the rush of foreign chakra would flush any sedatives out of his system anyway.

She placed her right palm on top of the little box, and pushed. Shinji immediately began to scream and tried to move. Aiko had been anticipating that. Her own chakra solidified and coalesced into cold silver chains, much more delicate than usual almost as if they were part of a necklace. They slipped and shot, trailing from the center of her back, around and over her shoulders in order to secure him in place. She might have soothed him again, but he wasn't listening.

'I hope Mist has a medic who can do something about these chakra burns.' Aiko grimaced, ignoring his screams. Damage to the chakra system was the major drawback to putting a tailed beast into an adult. Only very young children had undeveloped systems that could be taught to tolerate a sudden influx of a foreign substance. But she refused to take part in that in a non-emergency situation like this. Perhaps it was selfish, but on some level Aiko believed that the need for informed consent to a life-altering procedure like this was more important than damage that could be mitigated by good health care at the cost of sentencing an innocent child to hatred and fear.

At least Shinji wasn't alone, she noted sardonically. She wasn't enjoying this part either. Through gritted teeth, she ignored the white hot whine of pain in her palm where residual chakra from the struggling, no doubt panicking beast surged against her skin like electricity hidden in thousand pound waves.

'I'm going to need a medic when I'm done,' she noted distantly.

Things were definitely not going as smoothly as she had hoped. But this was one of the scenarios Jiraiya had covered with her, so she bit her lip and endured through the pain. Somehow she managed to split her attention between the constant steady push and the corresponding sigils she was inking with her left inside the spiral to lock away what she had sealed and prevent it from coming back up.

It could have taken hours, days, or been over in forty minutes. It was impossible to keep track of time when all she knew was the next repetition and pain screaming at her consciousness. A real master like Jiraiya would have done this in half the time without the unpleasant side-effects, but she was just lucky that it was starting to look like she would survive. She must have made a minor placement error earlier on and missed it, otherwise this would have only been uncomfortable.

But eventually Aiko had tucked away everything but the residue burnt into the friend tenketsu in her hand, which she knew better than to try to manually force into the seal. It would dissipate on its own, or she could get Jiraiya to help her later. As long as she was very careful, it shouldn't do any damage to her or anything else until it was treated. (the 'anything else' part of that was crucial, as this chakra would definitely burn the skin off any other living thing it touched. She mentally resolved to give no hugs for a while, unless she ran into some Akatsuki or something).

Aiko wearily tossed the box aside, letting it break against the wall, and slumped down to rest her forehead on her knees. Gradually, she began to notice sounds from the real world again. She hadn't even noticed that she was tuning them out, but the raspy sound of Shinji's breathing and the brisk scrape of sandals that must have been Ao pacing in the halls tugged at her awareness. She focused on her Karin-honed chakra sense for just a moment out of pure reflex to be sure that Mist hadn't been up to anything while she hadn't been paying attention- and froze.

"Ao! Are you expecting company? We have a small group within four miles."

"What?" he rumbled, bursting into the room. She lifted her head to peer at him. His gaze went distant as if he were focusing on his sensory abilities as well. He gave a jerk and a curse, tugging the long cloak off his back and hurriedly wrapping it around the unconscious boy on the floor.

"I take it that's a no," she mumbled to herself. Then she cleared her throat. "Rebel faction that doesn't want Mei to have a jinchuuriki, perhaps?" she shrugged the thought away. Speculations could wait. "Well, obviously someone dropped the ball on that whole 'secret time and place' thing you guys had planned." Ao scowled at her, flinging the unconscious jinchuuriki over his shoulder.

"Enough, smart mouth. If they're here for him, we need to go."

Aiko cast a quick glance around and determined that there was nothing there she couldn't afford to leave and followed Ao out. She had to cradle her injured hand against her torso to keep the burns from getting any more irritated than they already were.  
As they started running, she used another chakra pulse to get a lock on the signals she'd felt earlier.

"Oh, hell."

She could practically hear her companion roll his eyes. "What now?"

"They know we've left," she half-shouted over the wind. "They're coming in fast and altering trajectory."

"I know." He said nothing else, but increased his pace. Aiko's mind was racing.

"How far do we need to go before we can signal down help?" He didn't even try to pretend there were no Mist loyalists stationed nearby, grunting out an answer.

It was close. Very close. But not close enough that they could reach help before their pursuers caught up. She didn't like the plan that occurred to her. Not at all. With a Konoha nin, sure. She trusted most of them relatively well. But Ao could leave her to die without blinking an eye.

But it was the only plan, so she spoke up. "One of us needs to stall so the other can flag down help." Her lips twisted bitterly. If she showed up without Ao (with or without the jinchuuriki) there would be suspicion. Even if they didn't attack her on sight, they would almost certainly take far too long to listen to her and head back to help Ao. She couldn't afford to let Ao fight here because she couldn't ensure his safety… and she didn't see a way to get out of this mess alive if he didn't.

He gave a harsh little laugh of surprise. "You trust me, kid?"

Aiko didn't answer, but she stopped running. "Hurry up, old man." She muttered as he faded into the distance. She dimmed her chakra signature and began to cut sideways so that she could intercept the interlopers, trying to calculate just how much freedom of movement she had even with her pained hand.

'Four, white masks and unmarked allegiance,' her mind tabulated as soon as they broke free of cover. She didn't expect that they would actually fail to find her. Aiko only needed a moment of surprise to help even the odds a bit.

And she used it, forcing out a much thicker, longer chakra chain than she had used earlier that day and guiding it, twisting, along her left arm in a straight shot that caught the approaching shinobi closest to her through the heart. It was a bit messy—rather than try to tug it out, she instantly dissolved that chain and leapt away to dodge the surprisingly weak barrage of shuriken that dotted her old position.

'Something is not right. Unless they have genin level throwing skills, that should have come much closer to hitting me. And if their shuriken skills were so poor, they wouldn't be armed with them.'

But the alternative was unthinkable—the possibility that they didn't want to kill her. She had ambushed and killed one of them already. That was enough to make almost anyone lose their temper and fight with seriousness. The only reason not to was if you needed to take someone alive. The thought sent chills down her spine and panicked adrenaline surging through her veins.  
None of them said a thing. It took a lot of discipline to remain silent and apparently disinterested in combat. It wasn't exactly common to exchange real conversation with your opponent like Naruto might, but most people at least made threatening statements or grunt sounds when they did something strenuous.

That alone told her more about her opponents than the little she could gauge from their drab uniform-style clothing. They were a trained unit, and not the ragtag Mist dissidents she had supposed. That tugged at something in her consciousness- but no, it couldn't be.

'Three targets. One female, two male.' One of the males carried some sort of sword, so she chose to ignore him for the moment. That could possibly be used to deflect her chains, and she didn't want to waste time re-materializing them more than she had to. Her normal jutsu repertoire was almost useless here- these opponents were too advanced for them to work in direct combat, and most of her skills were biased towards helping her avoid direct combat. Besides, with one hand almost useless, it would take far too long to channel chakra.

The other male was aggressive, leaping through the chain she'd flung to engage her in close combat. She dropped the technique entirely, falling back on the skill that was still her strongest. Taijutsu was what she practiced most. That focus seemed to serve her well right then—if she hadn't been obsessive about the skill, this opponent would have incapacitated her with the first blow. He opened with a crushing kick to her ribs that she side-stepped, then spun around before she could get in a retaliatory hit and aimed a punch at her torso. When she unthinkingly blocked with her right, a crunch rang out and she involuntarily made a pained noise.

'I can't fight this guy close range for long. He'll rip me apart.' 

It was like… well, it was like fighting a stronger Sasuke if he were twice as fast and wanted to seriously hurt her. She saw the same technical perfection and ruthless efficiency in this opponent's movements. This person had been practicing taijutsu much longer than she had. She took that as confirmation that they hadn't been trying to kill her—no one with taijutsu like this would carry shuriken if they were so bad with them. He had engaged her this way to incapacitate her.

So she cheated.

Aiko leapt straight backwards, ignored the screaming pain and forced out an enormous series of chakra chains, tracing one down to wrap around her injured, burning hand as it moved and pushing the leftover demonic chakra into it. Her tenketsu would be forced open and she wouldn't be able to use any jutsu with it until someone provided medical assistance, but it served to seriously poison her chains.

Of course, her opponent was no doubt ready to dodge the chains he had seen drop his teammate like a stone... so she didn't shoot them at him like a projectile weapon. Aiko flung one up to block the sharp hit aimed at her collarbone, and twisted the rest of them out into a wide arc that surrounded the pair. The move was so phenomenally stupid that her opponent didn't seem to see it coming. No teacher would actually recommend trapping yourself in close-range with a taijutsu type. It was suicide, and not the kind that preserved your honor. The kind that made you a punchline in some bar later that night while your killer and his drunk buddies snickered.

This was the tricky part, she noted glumly. If she fucked this up, she'd be pulping herself with her own weapon. Once he was done being sad, Kakashi-shishou would so totally judge her forever.

The dome of chains condensed, clanging into a short space that forced the two shinobi inside into an impromptu hug—and burned her opponent alive with the demonic chakra that she had laced it with.

But he didn't scream.

Thoroughly creeped out, Aiko dropped the technique altogether and cased the situation—

And blinked in surprise.

"They fucking left," she said, disbelievingly.

Well, that seemed to confirm that they were after Shinji, and made her feel like a self-centered idiot for thinking that they might have been trying to capture her. Her fight had been short—they could only be a minute ahead of her at best. She leapt into the chase, not even bothering to track by sight. It was faster to flicker on her chakra sense and follow their straight path towards Ao. He had to be close to reinforcements by now.

As she ran, she tucked her injured arm fully inside her flak jacket as a makeshift sling to prevent it from being jarred. With her left, she drew out a trio of kunai and tucked her index and middle fingers through two of their rings and pinched the other between her thumb and index. She was already releasing it when the two shinobi harrying Ao came into view. The older shinobi had dropped his burden unceremoniously on the ground and was using senbon to force the two opponents away from his charge. He looked up at her for a brief instance, and she felt a thrill of fear that he'd left Shinji open to either one of the masked shinobi.

Then he reminded her that he was an elite, both as a hunter-nin and one of the two people a kage trusted to act as her bodyguards when he effortlessly intercepted the drive the masked man made towards Shinji and threw him into a tree like a ragdoll. Aiko winced at the sound of his head cracking against the wood.

The four shinobi were still for an instant, and seemed to size each other up. Aiko half expected them to pair off into fights at that point—and then the crunch of another Mist shinobi landing in the clearing before flinging a line of shuriken at the interlopers startled the tableau.

The female moved to defend herself. Her last companion fled in a flicker of speed.

Aiko gaped, for a second, and then her brain caught up. "He's going to get rid of the bodies!" she shouted to Ao. He grunted.

"Well, stop him then." Left unsaid was that there must be something to hide if he was fleeing to the spot of the older fight instead of making a break for freedom.

She might have been mistaken. Either that or he was fast enough that he had already gotten what he needed and fled. Aiko examined the scene, frankly unnerved that nothing seemed to have been disturbed. Had he really just been fleeing for his life?  
The strange, improbable suspicion that had occurred to her earlier when she had noted the masked shinobi's discipline and resurfaced when they maintained silence even through intense pain rose again.

It was stupid, she knew. She shouldn't even be thinking it. There was no reason for Danzo to have known about this operation. Only Mei and possibly Tsunade should have known the details. And why would he want to sabotage relations between the two?  
Just to assuage her suspicions, she knelt and forced open the rapidly chilling jaw to stare at the tongue. ('ew', she noted vaguely). Then she let the jaw drop.

"Well, fuck."

Tsunade probably needed to know about this. Mist probably didn't.

A quick pat-down revealed that the corpse in front of her carried slight hints that were meant to point to Mist funding. Danzo was thorough. Their black clothing was local textile material, and the poison she smelled on their weaponry was definitely a supposedly-exclusive Mist recipe.

But the seal on that tongue could only come from one source, to her knowledge. She wasn't familiar with all of the parts, but she could definitely piece together that it was a stupidly thorough bit of fuinjutsu.

She couldn't do anything about the man escaping, or the one she had left Ao fighting. It was hard to hope they escaped, but that would simplify things. Aiko awkwardly pulled out an open scroll and her one remaining bottle of ink. She had to use her teeth to take the top off, and this was probably the ugliest seal she had put together in months. But it worked.

Aiko thanked all the stars she could think of that at least the corpses were starting to congeal, because hacking off a man's head was hard with one hand was hard enough without blood spraying into her eyes. That was like, the worst. Being on a time limit didn't help.

Luckily, she had a full scroll and two scorch marks on the ground by the time she felt someone approaching. A mist shinobi looked down at her placidly. "I'm to escort you back to the village to talk to the Mizukage."

"Glorious." Aiko climbed to her feet. The scroll in her pouch hung heavily on her mind. But as long as no one searched her, (which they couldn't do if they still wanted to stay attached to Konoha) there would be no way to prove she had taken anything.

Luckily, no one seemed to accuse her of anything untoward. It was probably because they didn't care to bother with it. She discerned that Ao and his back-up had managed to take the last woman captive. They were probably going to torture her until she talked. Because the seal on her tongue would keep her from talking, they would be torturing her until she died and ending only with unsatisfactory hints that she had been connected to their rebels. If they pried open her jaw and noticed the seal, they would almost certainly suspect that a sealmaster beyond what the rebels could boast had been involved. But Mei's paranoia about the rebels probably wouldn't allow her to completely dismiss the possibility.

Actually, she knew, that might make it worse. Mei would be worried that her dissidents had acquired funding or support.  
The highlight of her debriefing was that it was short. The Mizukage was in a surprisingly good mood, which formed a nice contrast to Ao's habitual doom and gloom. Aiko sensed that as soon as she walked in, with the keen senses of an elite nin.  
"Drinks all around!" Mei toasted to nothing, before tossing back a glass of something pink that practically sparkled in the light.  
Aiko blinked, taken aback. "Um…"

She didn't have a default response for that. Luckily, Ao stepped in for her with a glower that made the Mizukage roll her eyes. "Oh fine. It's not even alcoholic, you spoilsport," Mei pouted. She shoved the now-empty glass away and gave Aiko a sultry stare. "Well, I suppose I owe you my gratitude."

"It was my duty," Aiko responded easily. She'd been prepared for that verbal trap. It didn't do to have foreign villages 'owing' you favors that they might seize opportunities to pay back.

Mei threw her head back and laughed. "You're sharper than you look," she accused. "If you ever find yourself in need of career opportunities, feel free to come talk to me." She gave a little sharp smile that detracted from the fact that she was blatantly recruiting a foreign nin. Jiraiya must have been right about their desperation for sealing experts. "I'm sure you'll want to get going," the Mizukage drawled, tapping her fingers against her desk restlessly as if she wanted to push it away. "Heaven only knows that if you don't get that grump who came to get you out of the village, he and Ao are going to get into fisticuffs."  
Her skinny, young-looking bodyguard choked on nothing. It wasn't the best attempt Aiko had ever seen at impassive inattention.

"Ah… You mean Kakashi-shishou?"

Terumi Mei glanced consideringly at her from under long eyelashes. Then amusement glittered in her eyes. "If that's the one with the silver hair and the fantastic ass, then yes."

Aiko followed that to its logical conclusion and then recoiled, eyes wide. 'I bet he does have a fantastic ass.' She must have looked appalled or grossed-out or something, because Mei gave a laugh that shook her shoulders. 'Oh. I bet she thinks I think shishou is really old.' She took the assumption and ran with it, shuddering theatrically. "Well, now you've put thoughts in my head that can never be un-thought."

"You're welcome. He'll meet you in the lobby, I'm sure."

"Uh…" Aiko considered asking to see a medic before she left. It would be pretty uncomfortable to travel the entire way home with a broken forearm and chakra burns, not to mention that shishou would not be pleased about the poor condition she was being returned in. Then again, Mist's medics were notoriously bad. She would like to go home instead of getting trapped in a hospital with unfriendlies around while she was vulnerable. Instead of saying a thing, she gave a bow and a polite good-bye.  
________________________________________

Tsunade was just sitting down on the couch in her office to read when there was a knock on the door. She heaved a sigh, wondering why the hell she even bothered. The instant that she relaxed, someone showed up to tell her about depressing problems. She should go back to her desk to present an imposing figure…

'Fuck it, I'm staying here. They can stand.'

"Come in."

Hatake Kakashi pushed his little apprentice in. The girl looked pale and awful, frankly. For some reason she'd cradled her arm against her chest and her zipped vest was covering it.

"Fix it." He glared at her.

Aiko coughed. "Ah, actually I think I should debrief first."

A thrill ran through Tsunade. "Hatake, get out or shut up. I'll take care of this, but I want to hear what happened. She'd need to give me details before I 'fix it,'" she concluded with sarcastic air quotes. "Uzumaki, report."

The girl stiffened professionally. "I met with a one-man escort, the Mizukage's bodyguard Ao and proceeded to an unknown location. I could locate it again if necessary. The sealing was successful with minor complications, ending with chakra burns on both myself and the subject. Subject was one Shinji, last name unknown, male Mist ninja. Approximately age 12. Almost immediately after the sealing was successful, four interlopers began pursuit. They were disguised, but their textiles and poisons were local. One was incapacitated and brought into Mist's custody, one escaped, and I have two sealed in this."

She held out a make-shift scroll (clearly not one she had purchased from the standards suppliers). "Due to the hints on their person and their interest in acquiring the jinchuuriki to the exclusion of other targets, I had initially thought that they were Mist dissidents attempting to prevent Terumi Mei from gaining access to a powerful weapon. That would account for their lack of interference until the sealing had been completed. However, at least the two that I killed had a strange seal on their bodies that implied access to fuinjutsu far above what Mist could provide."

Tsunade's expression had been stilling as she talked. Her shishou seemed just as interested—he hadn't asked a thing on the way home. That made sense—it was considered unethical and illegal to share mission details before the completion of the mission, but she would have told him if he'd asked.

"Where was this seal?" She leaned forward.

"On the back of the tongue," Aiko informed.

Tsunade carefully kept the pleasure off her face at that. "I see. If given a copy of this seal, would you be able to decipher its purpose and possibly devise a counter?"

The teenager looked a bit stunned. "Ah, I could try. I was able to pick out its general purpose at a glance. It seemed to prevent the carrier from talking, although I don't think it makes them literally silent. It's likely in regards to sensitive information."  
The Hokage was mildly impressed. She'd already suspected, but if the girl had gotten that from one look… this might work after all. "Consider yourself on a sabbatical to investigate this project, then. I'll get you a copy tomorrow." She rolled the scroll between her fingers consideringly, and then stuck it abruptly in her shirt. She didn't want to lose it in the couch cushions.

Hatake choked on his tongue.

"Come over here then, girl." Tsunade patted the couch. "And let me see those burns."

When she'd healed up the kunoichi and waved Hatake out of her office ("Before I toss you through the wall," she'd roared) Tsunade went to crack open a celebratory sake. Then she realized that Shizune had once again purged her supply and left candy and mints. Sulkily, the Hokage popped something sour and cherry-flavored into her mouth and crunched.

'Well, that worked out.'

She let herself smile for the first time, now that she was alone.

'Danzo took the bait, and now I have a sample.' She couldn't prosecute him for the Uchiha affair without endangering poor Itachi, but she knew that he had to have his fingers in other pots. The only reason he hadn't been caught before was that his people couldn't talk. If that seal was broken, it would be child's play to bring him down.

Tsunade was particularly smug about that manipulation. Honestly, it was like the man thought his spies were the only ones in the world. When hers had found out about the location, she had leaked it for his to find with just barely enough time for him to send out a team. She'd known that Mist didn't trust Konoha—the Uzumaki girl would have been surrounded by anxious shinobi ready to leap into a fight. The battered state of her shinobi was a little surprising. Mist had been too paranoid about the possibility of a failed seal and stayed too far back to assure the protection they had promised.

'When they borrow my things, they should return them in a little nicer condition,' she noted sarcastically.

Of course, Mist was probably more worried about the sudden likelihood that their rebels had found sponsors. What a tragic coincidence that Danzo chose to use the easy target as a cover for his operation if they were caught. Who could have predicted that?

The worst part about being the Hokage was that you didn't get nearly enough chances to smugly share the proof of your obvious brilliance. When everything went well, no one would ever know.


	37. Chapter 37

Sasuke had been surprisingly relieved to see that she had returned home when she had run into him on her way out of the tower. Aiko felt rather flattered by that. He must have been training on something interesting, because he had interesting marks on his arms- long, thin rents. She didn't have a chance to ask before he had excused himself to go get an antiseptic.

Her home had been a bit depressing, though. It was clear that it had been empty for a while—slightly stale smelling and dark. The grocery stock was about as bad as she would have expected after Karin had been left in charge for over a month, so she ate seaweed crackers instead of any real food. After an extensive healing and a long trip back, she was too tired to really care about nutrition. As soon as she was done, Aiko flopped into bed fully dressed and travel worn.

The world looked a little brighter in the morning. Sasuke dropped by obscenely early with a very angry Smaug wrapped up like a burrito in a blue towel. His expression practically dared her to say a word. He didn't stay for tea.

A runner came by at eight in the morning with a transcribed copy of the seal just as she was getting ready to go to the morning market. Aiko shoved it onto the kitchen table to come back to and headed out the door.

When she came back and dumped her bags on the table, she didn't even bother to put things away. The stuffiness was making her sneeze and dust motes were catching in the light. Aiko solved that problem by propping open all the doors and windows to the backyard to let air and sunlight in. Unfortunately, that also let the cat out. She took a moment to hope that Smaug the great and terrible didn't find romance. She didn't need kittens.

She put off the inevitable by putting away her groceries, washing the sheets she had unwisely slept on in travel clothes that night, and making tea, but before ten am she had to concede defeat and sit down with a notebook and the scribed seal.  
To be frank, it was a hot mess to decipher.

Despite the sleek appearance of the seal, it was surprisingly complex. It was largely composed of non-standard symbology that almost certainly hid more usual symbols drawn first—that had to be why the lines were so thick. It probably said a lot about the person that designed it, actually. It had the minimum strokes for efficiency, a stark sort of beauty, and a very organized aesthetic. It was the work of a person who did not believe in excess effort, but did believe in perfectionism and hard work, and secrecy above all else. It was highly personalized, but looked very impersonal.

Seven thick strokes were visible.

Measurements revealed that the longest ones were almost exactly an inch. The four short ones were 3/8 of that length, and the width of every line was identical.

She sighed, and wished that it wasn't this type of seal. This… This would require…

MATH.

She wished she could pretend the visible strokes were only there to hide the underlying structure, but that seemed very out of character for the mentality that had designed this. Nothing in that seal was without intrinsic purpose. Aiko slumped a little, feeling sad. Jiraiya would have been better at this. But he was also much more important and his time was more valuable. Besides, he was nowhere near Konoha.

Figuring this out probably had more to do with the proportions and the strokes that those seven hid than anything else. Knowing its purpose helped- rather, she corrected herself, having a strong hypothesis as to its purpose helped. She'd told Tsunade she knew the seal's use from looking at it, but she really wouldn't have spotted that without her foreknowledge.  
Aiko really wanted to figure out a counter to this seal as quickly as possible and use the rest of her break as time to work on a personal project. 'Then again,' she thought without a hint of shame at all, 'I can't spend all of my sabbatical working on one thing. I can work on reading Minato's notes at the same time'.

She re-sketched the seal as an outline without coloring in the lines, and then set it aside as a reference. Then she pulled out her notes—personally made copies of Jiraiya's index of symbols that had pretty much everything he had encountered that wasn't too dangerous for her to work with alone. The first thing to do was compose a list of symbols that she knew that could possibly be used to compose a privacy or binding seal. The easiest way to do this would be to compose her own version and reconstruct what the other seal master must have done.

If she were a different type of personality, she might try to devise a brute force solution. It was still a possibility. But to her it seemed like… oh, like putting a hole in fabric. Using a brute force solution would be like loosely securing the fabric on a rack and punching through. It was possible if the fabric was weak or if an enormous amount of force was utilized. But ultimately, it was a foolish and wasteful endeavor.

Even a strong construction could much more easily be torn along the line of the fabric. By using the way the threads pieced together, the very thing that made fabric strong could undo it.

(Of course, if the construction was loosened, a single thread could be tugged, or a seam ripped. But that wasn't feasible at the moment).

Sadly, the line of the seal's construction was literally hidden and there were no loose ends. Very neat person, Danzo was, if he was the one who had designed this.

Aiko wrote up what she had in her notes—the psych analysis, her theory about the purpose of the bars, and the possible symbols. Then she rubbed her dry eyes and tossed everything onto the table for later. Now that a life didn't immediately depend on her attention span, she wasn't going to spend all day on one thing. She hadn't even done her workout yet.  
When she came back to the house and got cleaned up, she procrastinated working on the privacy seal by making food.

Then she procrastinated by flopping down on the couch and watching a movie. Absolutely nothing good or even tolerable was on. She admitted defeat to the universe in general and pulled out the notes Jiraiya had given her from Minato's projects. Aiko kicked back on the couch, slinging her feet over the side and laying against the arm. The papers in her lap were somewhat less than stimulating, but she resolved to read through them in their entirety before she actually tried to utilize anything she found in it.

That was going to take a while. Aiko glumly pinched the side of the bound notes and held her fingers up to gauge the size. It was, like, two inches thick. This had better be chock full of notations on learning and personalizing the hiraishin.  
What's worse, she discovered as she read, they appeared to be almost a diary of sorts with little notations on where things had come from and how others had turned out. That might have seemed a good thing. Except that there was something spectacularly creepy about an intimate glimpse into the psyche of a dead man.

The next week drifted by much the same, holed up in her house alone. She vaguely regretted not asking where Karin and Hinata were. Even Anko would usually have stopped by at least once by now for dinner. Aiko alternated blazing through Minato's diary (and it really was a diary, with little notations about where he was writing sometimes or a particularly baffling encounter he'd had that day) and constructing her own versions of Danzo's tongue seal.

'On the bright side,' she thought somewhat sarcastically, 'even if I don't figure this seal out, I'll be able to make my own version and put it on some poor bastard. So glad I'm studying this.'

She had had several versions that seemed to meet both the strict criteria of what she assumed to be the seal's purpose and what she assumed to be the traits that its maker would have leaned towards, but had yet to design a counterseal to test against them.

Before she really got to that point, she'd need to have hypothesis as to the exact function of the black bars over them. Their prison cell-esque feel made her think of a locking mechanism, which made some sense given the way Root members were unable to share information. But she was leery to design a series of counterseals based on what was really a knee-jerk association. If she was wrong, it'd be a lot of busy work for nothing. Aiko didn't like wasting her efforts. She didn't mind working hard, but only if there was merit to the work itself both intrinsic and as a way to a goal.

At least she was able to soothe her irritation by remembering that this period of research and practice was actually helping her own fuinjutsu skills quite a bit. The scientific method of gathering information and then testing was somewhat satisfying and it would hopefully make the hiraishin easier.

She really did intend to learn that fuinjutsu, truth be told. Even though she wasn't entirely sure she was sold on the mechanics of the technique.  
It seemed to be separated into two different uses. Minato had utilized it to travel distances faster by throwing a kunai and then tugging on the seal connection to catch it before it lost momentum. It seemed repetitive and tedious. There had to be some way to utilize it more efficiently over large distances.

The application for close combat appealed to her more. Minato had seemed to use it similarly—by throwing a kunai with the seal attached and then displacing himself—but it could be used even when the seal was stationary. That struck a chord with her and tugged at some received knowledge.

Minato related difficulty learning to use the right seal and re-emerge in an appropriate position to it. If he hadn't been careful while learning to use it, he might have ended up re-appearing around the seal instead of just behind it ready to catch and throw again. (Or in front, she noted vaguely, thinking that it would totally suck to be speared by her own kunai).

There had to be a better way to position oneself as you left the fold dimension. There just had to be. The metaphor that she had thought of was the way she would locate an earthquake's epicenter. Of course, it wasn't a metaphor or hypothesis she could very well share because the technology to measure seismic activity didn't exist here.

Still. Her idea was that much like the way any three seismic stations could locate the origin of a quake by measuring their distance from the disturbance and drawing out a circle that traced that distance around each station. The place where all three circles intersected was the epicenter, but anywhere in between the three was measurable.

Why couldn't the hiraishin function similarly? Instead of paying attention to an individual rapidly moving signal, why not use a small field of seals as the origin point? It was counterintuitive and distinct enough from the original concept of the hiraishin that it would almost certainly confuse anyone watching, unless they actually saw the field being opened. With that concept, she could re-orient anywhere in between three seals, making both long distance and combat type usage much simpler and streamlined.

But it was just a theory. She'd have to learn it regularly before she tried to modify it.

The kitchen timer went off, startling the girl on the couch. She sighed, noting with irritation that she was hungry again. That was so annoying—it got really old having to deal with hunger every single day. Aiko glanced down at a stasis seal contemplatively. Maybe if…

No, she chided herself. Some things should not be messed with, human body functions among them. She'd just have to eat.  
The kitchen timer had actually been meant to signify that it was time to change focuses and not that she had thought ahead to food. So she resentfully pulled a pear out of the increasingly empty fruit bowl to shut her body up and rinsed it clean. Then she went back to work on Danzo's seal, switching notebooks and mentalities completely.

The days blended together, but at one point Aiko looked up and realized she wasn't entirely certain if she had done any physical conditioning or even showered for the last few days. It wouldn't do to get out of shape. So she forced herself through a quick shower and into training gear, and then through a workout so vigorous that Lee actually stopped to congratulate her. After her clean-up shower six hours later, she didn't even manage to get fully dressed before she absolutely had to go try a symbol combination that had occurred to her while running and had been bothering her for hours.

That's what she was doing when the door swung open and Karin pranced in like a fairy princess. Aiko blinked at the sudden light like some subterranean creature, slumped over with a towel still on her head and in a bathrobe.

"Good god, what happened to you?" Karin eyed her up and down.

There was an awkward silence. Until, that was, when Hinata trailed in and recoiled at the sight of her. The girls in the entryway exchanged an inscrutable look before moving in unison.

"Hinata, grab one of Aiko's empty books. We're going outside. Come on girl, get some clothes on."

Karin hustled and nagged her into an orange skirt Aiko never wore (because nothing matched the damn thing! It had been a terrible decision.) with a black belly shirt from her own closet and then out the door in what seemed like a whirling moment of ignored protestations.

"I was busy." Aiko pushed feebly at Karin's monster grip on her own arm. Damn, she'd gotten a lot stronger. She resolved to ask Anko what she had the girls doing for strength training. Hinata serenely shut the door behind them, clutching a couple of notebooks and colored pens and letting her loose hair flutter in the wind. 'Whoa, she's letting her hair grow out,' Aiko noted. That was unusual for her. Pretty, though.

At least it was nice out, she noted morosely. Aiko rather liked a slightly windy day.

"I don't care if you were busy," Karin briskly informed. "You look terrible. I know you're pale, but you look like you last saw daylight a year ago. If you absolutely must spend all your time scribbling, you should do it where you can soak up sunlight, fresh air, and the stunning good looks Hinata and I are giving off wherever the light hits our glorious radiance."

Aiko stared at her flatly. "Right." Then she jerked when Hinata poked her in the ribs with one finger and aimed a sliiiightly raised eyebrow at her, as if to ask 'You have something to say?'

She shook her head meekly.

'When did I become the short one?'

Aiko was mildly alarmed to realize that she hadn't grown at all in the past year, but that both of the girls on the other side of her definitely had. It wasn't exactly a critical aspect of her perception of self or anything, but she had always been the tallest kid around. She wasn't a particularly short fourteen, (at least she didn't think so) but she was suddenly looking up at more people and re-realizing how they compared size-wise.

She had the mildly depressing realization that she had probably just had an early growth spurt and might end up the shortest of her peers after all.

'Uh oh…' 

Good lord, was that really Kiba grinning at the three of them from the other side of the park, watching a group of wrestling kids who had to be his relatives? Kami, his shoulders had not been that broad the last time she noticed him.

'Hell. When did this happen?'

Karin elbowed her in the ribs. "Try to look a little less traumatized about having a cute guy check you out."

"Guh." Aiko said, intelligently. But… but… she had thought of the people in her age group as 'children' for so long. She hadn't really dealt with the fact that they were rapidly turning into adults until she left long enough to reassess them and notice the changes when she returned. 'Oh, gross. But Kiba's just a baby! He's what, fourteen?'

Aiko was even less pleased to be led up onto a large rock to sun herself with the other two. Well. That part was fine. It was when Hinata smoothed open a book and quietly informed her that she'd promised to write friend fiction with them that she felt herself turning a little green. Her mind rushed to find age-appropriate targets.

There was something really discombobulating about this realization. It took her a minute to put together exactly what was bothering her—for as long as she could actually remember, she had possessed maturity and mental functions beyond those of her physical body. But now that her body was hitting puberty, her physical state now resembled her mental state. (As far as she knew. Aiko had no idea how to gauge how old she felt.)

She'd finally hit an age where what was on the inside approximately matched what was on the inside. This… this should be a good thing, right? Perhaps she didn't have to feel like her skin was wrong.

Despite having at least analyzed the situation, she would feel much more comfortable writing about people a little older than her companions for a while. "Kurenai and Asuma?"

________________________________________

Three Kage met in a bar. It was a very nice bar, to be fair, and the closest thing to a neutral ground that could be achieved within any of the three countries they ruled. As Konoha was both the geographic and political center of this alliance, Terumi Mei and Gaara no Sabaku had consented to meet in Fire Country, though not in Konoha itself. That would have been a security nightmare for all involved.

So there were very good reasons for the meeting place, and it was in fact an incredibly expensive, class operation. But it was still technically a bar. The Mizukage found herself tickled pink by that rather low-brow choice of venues and was considering making jokes about the fact that the Kazekage wasn't even old enough to be served here. Somehow she refrained, but the amusement dancing in her eyes told at least her poor beleaguered bodyguards that her thoughts were wicked.

'At least Tsunade had the decency to bring the Jounin with the really tight ass,' Mei noted with a smile directed at her target. Hatake Kakashi appeared spectacularly unconcerned to the point of possibly nodding off, but she was sure he had noted her interest. It wasn't like she was hiding it.

She hadn't wanted to be here. Mist was too unstable to be involving itself in any large-scale conflicts. Her original plan had been to court both Konoha and Kumo, juggling what she could to squeeze the most out of both of them.  
That had all been ruined about a month ago.

No one should have known that she had having a jinchuuriki made. She had told exactly two people about the mission specifications- Ao, who she trusted with her life, and at the last minute, the Jounin commander who had led the backup squad. The members of that had been specially picked for the mission and only told to pack well before they left. None of them could have possibly gotten a message to a foreign village.

That created the unsettling implication that although she could trust her people, she had missed at least one foreign plant.  
Mei had immediately pulled records of village departures and outgoing communications logs and poured over them personally while Chojuro took care of her paperwork. When she'd found a likely target, her blood had boiled with rage. With a lava user, boiling rage was somewhat literal and dangerous, so she hadn't been able to communicate orders for a full minute and a half while she clenched her jaw shut and let steam seep between her lips.

An office worker who had claimed to be ill had actually fled the village. The search she ordered of his apartment had revealed a few things—he had been passing information he should not have had access to, he was not planning to come back, and he had packed for cold country.

That meant the informant was not going to Konoha. She had initially wondered if the attempt on her jinchuuriki had been a ploy by Fire Country. After all, they had more information than anyone else about the proceedings.

But those findings ruled that out. No. Another party had made a move for the sanbi. While her mind had immediately leapt to the dissidents she had mostly murdered in her take-over, she couldn't dismiss the possibility that Kumo had discovered she was dealing with Konoha and made a move to undermine her power. If that was true, they might use the rebels as a shield or to put a puppet candidate in her position.

That she could not abide. Konoha was notoriously soft, but they had still managed to maintain a position as one of the most powerful shinobi villages if not the most powerful village. Konoha had never deceived her, so if she had to trust another village it would have to be them. At least this guaranteed her safety from Sand as well.

________________________________________  
Tsunade gave a sharp smile that, had there been any justice in the world, would have hurt like a knife in the ribs to her fellow Kage. Instead, they both gave her consciously formulated looks of varying positivity (Terumi was a much better smiler, she noted). It was the first time meeting as equals, and she relished the opportunity to reevaluate her new allies. She didn't really consider either of them her equal just yet, to be honest.

Oh yes, they were both undoubtedly very powerful shinobi in their own right. Perhaps it was even true that they were the best their villages had to offer. But neither of them was prepared to really play the political game the way that it needed to be done. On one level, she was almost embarrassed to be playing with children. They would learn, of course. If the Sakabu boy had been less unstable, he would have been properly groomed like that sharp sister of his. But there was no use crying over spilt milk. Tsunade could use politically naïve allies just as well as she could work with experts.

She had wondered in the past weeks if Mist had actually managed to find the three spies who had individually 'discovered' sensitive information and fled the country (with just enough time to have raise suspicions about the sealing incident). Her real spy had remained safe in Mist, as had Danzo's inept hack for the moment. She might need him later. Tsunade had been hoping that the Terumi woman would find out about at least one of the plants, but she was also hoping that Mist would find themselves unable to catch any of them.

If Terumi had caught even one and discovered they were Tsunade's, the game and the alliance would have been over. It had been a simmering worry in her gut as the hours turned to days without a formal offer of alliance from Mist. But when it had come, she had known instantly that the ploy had been successful.

The young Kazekage, on the other hand, was to be dealt with differently. He could be outsmarted if need be, but Tsunade knew that his advisors were savvy and nosy enough to possibly catch onto Tsunade's games. (That sister of his wasn't one to be cowed by propriety.) No, he didn't need to be tricked to Konoha's side. He needed to be bound there in the most permanent manner possible. She had actually gotten the idea from young Naruto and his talk of bonds when he had helped convince her she belonged in Konoha. The philosophy had clearly touched a chord in the Kazekage—he had turned his life around in slightly less than a year.

To Tsunade, that meant that manipulating his emotions instead of his information was the way to maneuver the Kazekage where she needed him to be.

She already had the ideal person to manipulate the boy, and the best part would have been how sincere he would have been. Alas, Naruto was too dangerous to risk placement in one location for long, especially since he was traveling with her spymaster. It would be absolutely wasteful to have Jiraiya stay in one place. So at least until Naruto could protect himself, he could not be her tool of choice in this endeavor.

She didn't have to put a snake directly on Gaara's chest, of course. He was young and desperate enough for affection (though he didn't seem to consciously know it) that even an occasional encounter with an appropriate subject would keep him feeling fond of them. Those feelings could be fanned by keeping that person visible, and always associated with incidents of Konoha helping Sand. Even if he didn't realize it on a literal level, she knew enough psychology to know that giving the troubled young man enough of an emotional connection to people from Konoha would make him associate Konoha itself with those positive experiences.  
She didn't let on to those thoughts, nor did she really hold either Kage's ignorance against them. It was madness to assume someone raised only to know to kill would somehow be optimal for running a village just because they were strong. The skill sets were completely separate, and the second was rarely taught except in the families that traditionally ruled over the villages.  
The signing went smoothly, but the real politicking would happen after.

He had yet to say a word, but doubtlessly the Kazekage would speak up after the treaty was signed to request assistance with their border skirmishes. Tsunade already had a few ideas about the force she would send.

It seemed a strange coincidence, she mused, that the tool she had used to bind Mist (other than Danzo and a few well-placed spies cooling their heels after a long run at hotels in Rock and Lightning) might be her best one to bind Sand to herself as well. If she had Naruto readily available, she would have used him. Gaara seemed most attached to him, and there was little risk of him developing inappropriate affection for that particular Uzumaki. At least, statistically there was less risk, she amended. It didn't do to underestimate Naruto's ability to do the improbable.

But in his absence… The young Kazekage seemed to have a personal attachment to Naruto's sister as well. Tsunade didn't have as good of a sense of the girl's disposition as she did Naruto, so it was hard to say that encouraging that friendship would be a good way to keep Sand thinking of Konoha as friendly allies and not just someone to stab in the back later.

She would have to look into that. Whatever progress the chit might have made on that seal assignment would be a good tool for analysis of what made Uzumaki Aiko tick and if it would be safe to let her associate with such a vulnerable, crucial target as the Kazekage. While a success would solidify this alliance, a failure would rend it. Learning the way that someone thought was the best way to learn who they really are, on the inside. Tsunade had no need to rely on anything so trite or easily falsified as actions.

That lesson had been her hardest to learn. Most of what she knew had been learned at her grandfather's knee or under the Sandaime's protection. They hadn't been easy, by any means, but they had not come at the cost of blood, tears, doubt in her own perceptions, and years of bitter grief for friendship lost.

Orochimaru had been the one to teach Tsunade that a person's history of good actions didn't mean a damn if you didn't know why they were helping you. For that, she would always be grateful.  
 


	38. Chapter 38

"God Aiko, is this just going to be a thing now with you?"

She looked up at her disgruntled cousin, a little confused. "I'm sorry, I don't speak crazy, Karin."

The older girl picked up a short pillow and whacked her with it before sinking down into the couch across from Aiko. "I mean your clothes, dum-dum. The Hokage is making a village announcement tonight."

Aiko frowned. "Didn't she do that recently?"

"You're hopeless and you need to pay attention to life outside of paper and missions," Karin flatly informed her. "The Hokage left the village last week and came back in yesterday morning. Everyone was talking about it."

She shrugged. "Why would I care?" At the particularly scathing look she got, she moved to correct herself. "I mean, I care and all, but talking about it doesn't help. We'll find out whatever she deems appropriate tonight."

Then she looked down at herself and frowned. "And I'm fine, thanks." Her clothes were perfectly serviceable.

When she found herself dragged into a group of her peers (age-wise, if not in rank) she found that she had apparently been on the same wavelength as most of the boys. They all seemed to be dressed normally as well. Except for poor, fabulous Lee, of course. The other girls were all at least slightly dressed up. Even Tenten had apparently been ambushed and taken shopping. She looked hopelessly awkward and out of place in a short dress, nervously tugging on the hem and rubbing her fingers over the obvious outlines of hidden weaponry.

Aiko rather thought that standing her ground had been the best decision in this particular instance. She carefully wandered away from Karin's grabby monster hands (seriously, that girl was strong) and made an escape into the crowd to find an isolated spot to listen from. She could listen to the stupid speech without making it a big social affair, thanks.

It wasn't that she minded crowds or socialization, exactly. They were fine. But they didn't seem to energize her the way they did most of her peers. Karin and Ino would undoubtedly strong-arm most of that group into going out dancing or something after Tsunade was done speaking (either in celebration or to commiserate. They could find any excuse to party). Aiko very rarely felt the urge to do something so social.

'Apparently Root doesn't inspire great fondness for crowds either,' she noted with some amusement when the roof she landed on was already taken. She jerked her head in a vague nod to Sai. "Mind if I listen from here?"

It was a good spot, after all. Actually, she could see her group from here. Ino appeared to be sitting on Kiba's shoulders for a better view. He'd probably agreed so he could touch her legs. Not to be outdone, Karin seemed to be honing in on the other boys as if about to pick a target herself.

Sai merely shook his head, something unfathomable in his dark eyes, so she settled in to hear Tsunade speak with an apprentice at either shoulder like especially tiny bodyguards. She noticed with some disgruntlement that Sasuke was almost as tall as Shizune. That fucker'd had a growth spurt, hadn't he.

Big surprise, Konoha had officially aligned itself with both Sand and Mist, as well as a separate patronage pact with Nadeshiko. Honestly, if the Mist alliance hadn't gone through she would have been shocked. There was no way Tsunade would have leant Mist a seal master if she hadn't been all-but certain the resulting jinchuuriki would not be immediately turned against Konoha.  
Sand wasn't surprising either. She'd heard that Gaara was in charge earlier that week from the lady she bought her fruit from at morning market. Things could have changed, of course, but what she knew about the possible future had made her relatively certain that unless Konoha provoked him, Gaara would remain fond of Naruto. His belief that Naruto would be the Hokage one day would doubtlessly lead him to tolerate all but the most extravagant of idiocies from the current administration.

Aiko didn't know shit about Nadeshiko, though, other than that it was located slightly south-east of Water country.  
Undoubtedly, they would prefer to be on the same side as their geographic neighbors, now that Water had a Kage again. Even if Nadeshiko didn't manage an alliance with Water, Terumi would have to be an idiot to touch them now. That would break her pact with Konoha and Sand and tick them off.

The only real surprise was the official acknowledgement of Konoha's enemies in Sound, who were apparently harassing Sand and some small villages. Tsunade spewed a steaming load of patriotic tripe that made the crowd cheer and stomp their feet. They positively roared when she announced that Konoha would be helping her allies. Not all of them, of course. Many of the older citizens, civilians and shinobi alike, looked distinctly stiff or unhappy. Aiko thought she could see an Inuzuka woman actually growling.

It didn't take a genius to conclude that this was actually an offensive hidden under the terms of a more publically acceptable defense of territory. Sand didn't share any borders with Sound. Unless Rain had fallen, Sound's foothold in Grass would make no difference. This was a thinly disguised move heralding the escalation of conflict. And many of the people were cheering the notification that their shinobi would be going off to die far from home for other countries.

"Idiots," she mumbled before realizing Sai might take offence.

He merely looked at her. Then he slowly looked back over the crowds below them. She was actually surprised when he spoke up. "You do not share their enthusiasm."

"Um, no." Aiko suppressed a sneer. "This could be the prequel to another large scale war. It's not a cause for celebration. At least we know Tsunade-sama is an excellent rhetorician, though," she dryly added. It was true—that woman could work a crowd.  
"Hmm."

That was all they said. What else was there to say?

________________________________________  
The lines under his eyes weren't getting any better, Itachi noted ruefully when he returned to the Akatsuki base where he and Kisame would be separately making their reports sometime in the following day. Stress was deepening them.

He was always stressed, of course. Every day he drowned in guilt that he could never allow to abate, every day he worried about his most precious person, and every day he allowed himself to associate with people he found utterly foul and repugnant.  
Kisame was probably the best partner he could have had in Akatsuki, although he wouldn't have believed that at first. The Mist expatriate was a traitor, after all, and seemed to be a particularly bloodthirsty one.

Time had not changed those perceptions. Sometimes, first impressions were exactly accurate. Those facts were undeniable, but in the years since he had left Konoha, Itachi had become desperate enough for at least companionable silence to become something of a 'the-glass-is-half-full' person. Despite his many flaws, Kisame was ideologically motivated instead of greedy or small minded. No matter how repulsive Itachi found Akatsuki's aim of peace through subjugation, he could at least appreciate that his partner was ideologically committed to the cause of peace and not just a violent, money-grubbing hired hand like Kakuzu.

In a way, their desire for peace between the nations made them philosophical allies, even though Hoshigaki was undoubtedly fooling himself about his ability to refrain from violent action. He enjoyed a fight too much. In that, Kisame was like most of Akatsuki, even Sasori.  
Kisame was by far the best option for companionship in Akatsuki. Deidara, perhaps, might have been led down a path of maturity. He was brash and willful, but not needlessly cruel or small-minded as Hidan was. But that path had been closed by Itachi himself when he tricked the boy into joining Akatsuki.

Perhaps he just hadn't wanted to see the boy change his mind and genuinely commit to such a foul organization. At least now, Akatsuki had a ticking time bomb strapped to its chest.

He somewhat bitterly wished that Madara would be around when Deidara finally lost his head completely. At least then he could allow Sasuke to find him for closure and just die already. Though he desperately wanted to die, he could not without assuring that his brother and his country had been protected as best as he could.

The older Uchiha had been up to something lately. Itachi had no doubt at all that much of the unrest in the Elemental Nations was due to his meddling and war-mongering.

But it didn't quite coalesce into a picture yet. That is, unless he assumed that the most recent and aggressive piece on the board was being controlled by Madara.

Although Sound had been founded by Orochimaru, there was no reason to believe that the current leader had any particular grudge toward another nation. They were a blank slate. Perhaps if this Kabuto was bitter about Orochimaru being killed by Konoha, he might have tried to harass them. But Sound could not hope to compete militarily with Konoha.

But they had not made a single move against Konoha. They had destroyed the Hidden village of Grass, and turned their raiding parties on other small villages like Rain. There seemed to be no purpose. Often, when new countries or administrations came into power, their first order of business was to improve their standing by acquiring desirable land and resources. But this didn't even look like an expansion of borders—Grass shared no land with Sound. They could not possibly hope to keep what they had taken unless they also defeated Fang and Waterfall. Yet they had barely touched that area, instead focusing on Rain.

Only the hypothesis that Madara or someone else with a potent grudge against Konoha made those bits of illogical action into part of a coherent picture. Attacking Grass had actually made some small amount of sense for someone who eventually planned to destroy Fire Country. They had been allied with Konoha and shared a border relatively near Sound. They would have been the first to interfere with any attack on Konoha's land from the North. With the hostile Earth Country to Konoha's North-West and Lightning to the North-East, it would be the logical point of entry for any attack.

It would not have made sense for Sound to do such a thing on their own, however. They could not hope to face Konoha's might, or indeed that of any great nation. Only a disposable pawn would be made to act in such a way. Sound was merely meant to sweep away any minor players that might come to Konoha's aid later.

Madara would not make his real move until after Sound had fallen, Itachi knew. But he might play Lightning and Earth against the Land of Fire for his own amusement even before Akatsuki had given him what he wanted, to make them miserable for as long as possible.

"Itachi," an amused voice that he would have much rather not heard called out. He gracefully took to his feet and padded towards the man who was nominally his master.

"Yes?" he questioned mildly. Nothing external betrayed what he was thinking, but inside was only turmoil. Madara was cruel, and suspected Itachi of turning against him. He was right, of course, but amused enough by the thin pretense of ignorance and innocence not to do anything about it. He was a man who liked to see others squirm.

Rather like a playground bully, Itachi had thought once. But that assumption was mistaken. Madara was like a man who had been tormented and bullied himself. He delighted in asserting himself over the powerful, not the weak. Indeed, he seemed to have a strange weakness for all manner of pathetic creatures. But never Uchiha.

Ignoring Madara would be a most unwise idea. But Itachi did not wish to hear what the man had to say, either. Perhaps he had come to mock Itachi for his weakness again.

"Itachi-kun, I wanted to have a word with you."

That voice almost had to be an affectation, Itachi mused silently, expressionless. It was far too low for a man of Madara's size. He was pitching his voice lower because he associated the masculine sound with power.

It wasn't the first time Itachi had the thought. He would never so much as whisper it.

"Taciturn, as always." Madara practically purred, like the world's most terrifying kitten. "Do you know, I've heard from Konoha. I think you may have made a mistake all those years ago in sparing Sasuke-kun. He's found himself a position under that Senju whore and is practicing pediatrics." The sneer was audible.

Both the crass innuendo and the information were somewhat brain-breaking.

Firstly, the Godaime Hokage was an admirable woman and would never act as improperly with an apprentice as Madara implied, regardless of Sasuke's status as a legal adult. He refused to even contemplate the absurdity. Itachi had been pleased by Sasuke's choice in mentors when he had found out, though it was unconventional.

Secondly… Sasuke was becoming a children's doctor?

That raised a lot of latent emotions. His otouto had always been so caring and a hard worker. Their parents would never have allowed him to take such a peaceful career path. Itachi was… proud. He felt proud of his little brother. Perhaps Sasuke could really be happy.

But he was also internally terrified, because…

"He's never going to get the Mangekyou like that," Madara rumbled, clearly amused by what he thought would alarm a man who was desperately greedy for the eternal Mangekyou eyes. "As his elder brother, it is your duty to rectify this grave mistake before it is too late. That is all."

Madara had allowed him to spare Sasuke because he thought Itachi wanted to use his brother in the same way Madara himself had used his younger brother. No doubt it had amused him to think of the last of the Uchiha tearing each other apart like wild dogs. If Madara thought there would be no use for Sasuke, he might do Itachi the 'favor' of taking care of him.

Of course, he could also choose to kill Sasuke to prevent Itachi from potentially growing any stronger. It was hard to tell with a man like that.  
________________________________________  
Konoha was militarizing. The signs were subtle, but present. Identification codes were being updated, merchants were being encouraged to travel as little as possible (to free up genin and Chuunin teams, undoubtedly) and even lower level nin were being pushed. Karin had been forced back into teaching part-time at the Academy, but the field medicine classes were being streamlined for entire classes in addition to Tsunade's program for gifted students.

Hinata found herself shifted back onto her original genin team. As a team of trackers, team 8 was now relieving Jounin teams that usually responded to requests for investigation of strange signs at the borders. They were a sort of covert investigation squad, aided by Kurenai's genjutsu and their ability to detect targets at a distance. Chuunin with Jounin-level skills in one needed area were being promoted to special Jounin status and given part-time missions at their new clearance.  
And Aiko had been summoned to report on her findings to the Hokage herself.

'I suppose I knew that my break couldn't last forever…'

At least it had been productive. She had three potential counter-seals, and she was almost certain that one of them would work. That might please Tsunade.

The Hiraishin, on the other hand, needed testing. The exact seal that Minato and the original inventor had used were unsuitable for Aiko. Her chakra nature was different, as were her intentions with the technique. So she had tailored the original seal, cutting and adding what she needed and desired. The end result was startlingly different in appearance.

But the theory was very similar.

At its core, the Hiraishin was a method of folding the space-time continuum at two positions, one of which was your physical location (although it hadn't been explained in those terms) and using your spiritual chakra to re-orient yourself in relation to a beacon. It was an instantaneous tug of position, where the user essentially coaxed the universe into thinking that they had been in another position the entire time.

Aiko hadn't been able to think of a way this could possibly work without displacement of an equal mass of some sort—if it didn't, the Hiraishin would suddenly leave a vacuum in space. It was almost like a really unconventional body-switch technique, utilizing microscopic materials in the atmosphere instead of a convenient log or another body.

She wasn't particularly keen to test this theory, but it had to be done. 'Tonight', she promised herself. 'After I'm done with Tsunade, I'll try it out in the training ground.'

Aiko was at least mostly certain that even a failure wouldn't result in her death. It appeared that if she was totally misunderstanding the technique, it just wouldn't do anything. She just didn't like failing at anything. That tendency made it difficult to try new things. But at the same time, this technique was just too valuable not to utilize.

Of course, this experiment tonight might also lead to the collapse of her pet project, which she was worried about. If she was wrong and she could only attune to one signature at a time, her triangulation idea was completely worthless.

"Hokage-sama will see you now."

Aiko nodded politely to the sweet-faced older woman who managed the desk outside Tsunade's office and strode in, giving a polite bow to the woman inside before falling into a 'ready' position. For her, that meant her feet were slightly apart, her back was straight, and her hands were clasped at the small of her back.

"On time? Nice to see Hatake's only taught you to emulate his better habits," Tsunade muttered. Aiko had to consciously remember to stay still and impassive at the considering look the older woman leveled at her. She didn't really know the Hokage on a personal level, despite the fact that Sasuke was her apprentice and Naruto thought fondly of her. Aiko admired her on a merely professional level, since she had yet to make a personal judgment.

But she did know that the Hokage simply could not be as obtuse and brash as she appeared to be. Her snubs were calculated, and her abrasive nature had to be a tool. Tsunade was a woman who pushed.

The impression Tsunade gave of a person with a formidable force of personality was not a mere affectation, after all. Only the unpolished nature was false. Tsunade was a diamond, like the shape on her forehead. The Hokage was a deceptively beautiful and innocuous seeming woman who had been perfected into cold, shining hardness through years of intense pressure.

So she said nothing. It was best to remain silent in the presence of larger predators. Besides, that would force Tsunade to direct the conversation.

Tsunade rolled her eyes, as if irritated by some thought. "I want a report on that seal. What have you found?"

"As far as I can tell, it is a two-layered seal for the purpose of preventing the person marked from sharing sensitive information whether inadvertently, willfully, or under duress. In extreme cases it could cause paralysis as a counter-measure, but it probably functions by causing the tongue to swell and block the air passage to prevent speech. It must have a similar component for writing-based information leakage, and I think that may be what the paralysis is intended for. I have devised three possible counter-seals. Further investigation is not possible with my limited abilities without testing on an actual seal."

Aiko tugged out her collected notes on the silencing seal and stepped forward to pass them over to Tsunade. "My notes on my findings and analysis, Hokage-sama." It was best to be concise. She didn't want to seem like a braggart, but the alternative explanation could either bore Tsunade or make her think Aiko didn't have enough faith in her analysis. Besides, she wanted to get out of here and do testing on her personal project.

Tsunade could either trust her word and get a Root member to test the seal on, or piece through the notes. Aiko thought she knew what the older woman would choose to do.

"Very well. Leave those with me. I'll call you again once I have read through them. Dismissed."

Just to be cautious, she gave another bow before she left. As soon as she'd cleared the tower, Aiko broke into a flying sprint, easily crossing town to her favorite training grounds in minutes with a rush of air and color over buildings. Her hands shook just a little as she inked up two of her personalized seals—she had destroyed all the process copies. Best not to leave things like that laying around.

Since she wasn't interested in humorous mishaps involving emerging literally on the signal with a kunai in her innards or something, she didn't attach the seals to anything yet.

This was the part she had so far only read about. Aiko sat down with just one in her hands in a meditation type pose and saturated the seal with her own chakra. It took a fair bit to fill, but that was fine. She had large reserves and seals were reusable. Otherwise, this technique would be far too time and chakra intensive for anyone to actually use.

Once a fifth of her reserves had been pumped into it, the first seal stopped accepting chakra.

And the strangest thing happened. It appeared on her chakra sense, much like Karin or Shishou would. As if it was in fact another person. Except she didn't actually feel a mass of chakra. It was just a tug on her senses, something that wasn't sight, hearing, touch, taste, or anything else she could identify. But it was there, and she felt she would know that feeling anywhere.  
Minato had described the feeling as an inexorable draw. He was right. Some critical part of her attention zinged to her creation.

It was fucking awesome, and she hadn't even tried to use it yet. She was tempted to, but the original plan had been to make two and only use one to see if she could sense them at the same time. It seemed obvious now that there was no chance she could fail to notice one of these seals attuned to her chakra and heartbeat, but it was best to go with the plan.

She had to actually meditate for a few minutes in order to calm down enough to attune the second seal. It had felt like she was high earlier, and Aiko welcomed the new clarity of mind. The second seal was much faster, now that on some level she wasn't expecting it to suddenly reject her chakra and give her a painful snap. She only slowed down when she was nearing three-fifths of her reserves, and welcomed the now-familiar singing in her blood that signified an active seal.

The moment of truth had been what Aiko had been worried about for days—failing at this final juncture. But she knew with every part of her being that this was the easy part. This was breathing and blood pumping and electricity moving in her nerve system. She felt the extra sense twang and rustle when she set the seals down on the grass and a little reluctantly walked to a point away from both of them.

Pulling on one was child's play. She had been by the oak tree, and now she was not. When she looked down, the little paper rustled up at her from between her toes. Aiko twanged the other connection, and looked back in time to see the grass where her feet had been springing up.

Best. Thing. Ever.

She actually laughed with the adrenaline and the singing in her blood, flickering back and forth mindlessly, high on the totally bizarre feeling of instantaneous travel. This… this was like magic. Sure, she could turn into a puddle of water or spit lightning or run at insane speed, but that took conscious effort. This was as natural as her teal eyes—it was just hers, and she had no idea how she'd ever lived without noticing it.  
It took several dizzy minutes of transporting between the two seals before she calmed down enough for coherent thought. Granted, it wasn't exactly a cautious thought or one she would have had normally, when she wasn't riding high on unprecedented success and adrenaline and the supernatural feeling of her own chakra zinging all around her.

'I know I wasn't going to experiment until I'd had more practice with the regular version, but… I want to make a third seal and try triangulating now.'

They were her plans anyway. She could change them if she changed her mind. It only took about forty seconds to sketch out a third seal and a few minutes to attune it. When she was done Aiko was actually a little woozy from the sudden expenditure of chakra—well over half of her reserves in something like twenty minutes. So she forced herself to lay down for a while and calmed her rapidly beating heart.

When she finally tried, this part turned out to be harder than she had thought. It was hard to want to tug on all three at once—some part of her feared ending up in three pieces. After nothing happened with the first few tentative tugs, she took a deep breath and gave a sharp pull on all three.

'Well, at least I moved that time,' Aiko dazedly noted from her sudden position on her back blinking up at the midday sky. 'That's a good sign.' There appeared to be a good-sized rock digging into her back. When she managed to cringingly sit up, rubbing at her poor abused spine, it was hard to gauge whether this was a failure or a success.  
She'd moved about two feet closer to the spot that should have been her destination. With some effort she got on her feet again and used more force on all three active connections, now that she knew she had been too cautious before.

That time was a success position wise, and she only ended up on her knees that time. But being destabilized twice now was a pattern, and something she hadn't considered. The girl frowned.

'Maybe it's less stable than using one seal? Because I'm forcing myself to orient against three different signals, I'm probably not hitting any of them dead-on like I do with just one. Practice should help me maintain balance when I land, I think.'

At least, she hoped it would. Triangulating wouldn't do her much good in a fight if she ended up on her ass half the time, even if it would still be fine for longer distances where she didn't have to be immediately aware and ready for a fight.

Now that she had managed to merely move closer to the signals once and managed to land in the center once by equally using each connection, Aiko was certain that her idea was going to work. Still, she had to test it before she went home and took a long nap.

Staggering, Aiko made her way out of the triangle again and closed her eyes to focus. Whew, she hadn't had to do that before, had she? Well. She'd be done soon anyway. She had a killer headache.

She firmly connected to the upper most signal and the left-hand one, barely brushing against the one on the right. And opened her eyes to see she was. Well. Not where she'd optimally wanted to be. That position was about a foot to the right. She hadn't gripped the last one firmly enough. But still, she was positioned in between the three signals at unequal distance in a way that corresponded to how she had focused on each seal.

A heady smile tugged at her lips, and Aiko was already collapsing. 'I think I'm taking my nap here,' she noted distantly, far too disoriented to really care.

Judging by the position of the sun, she had either slept for about 24 hours or only passed out for a few minutes. She blinked the tears out of her eyes and then wiped at the wetness on her face. Alarm bells went off like a siren even in her dizzy mind and mellow state when her hand came away red with blood. 'Ah. May have over done it.'

'That possibility was probably why I planned not to do more than one experiment at a time,' she realized. It was hard to remember right now, but that sounded about right.

Now vaguely concerned that she should go to the hospital before she passed out again, Aiko laboriously climbed to her knees. It was definitely harder than it usually was. Oh, headrush.  
________________________________________

Omake: (Maybe happened, maybe it didn't. Whatever floats your boat and sinks your buoy.)

Shizune knocked on Tsunade's door and pushed it open without waiting for a response. The team debriefing in front of the desk gave her disgruntled looks she ignored.  
"Tsunade-sama? Could I get some help at the hospital? I don't know what to do with this, frankly." She paused. "And it's freaking the nurses out."

Tsunade slowly raised an eyebrow at her apprentice's sheepish expression.

"It's Uzumaki Aiko," Shizune explained apologetically. "She's… well. She's bleeding from… here." She made a circular gesture over her face with her palm.

Tsunade groaned. "Are you fucking kidding me? I had her in here not two hours ago and she was fine."  
Shizune bit her lip and sucked in a deep breath. "Well… Maybe you should fix it, before Hatake decides it's your fault and valiantly charges in here to tear you a new one. Because he's going to know soon." She muttered the next part under her breath. "God only knows how, but he'll know. I told the nurses not to say a word, but…" she shrugged as if to say, 'what can you do?'

The Hokage appeared to be on the verge of tears. Somehow, every time an Uzumaki scraped their knee and needed a bandaid with pandas on it, it was her fault. Even when it was Naruto and Hatake found out about via letter weeks after the fact.


	39. Chapter 39

"As baffling as it is, you were admitted with critically low levels of oxygen in your blood. That caused the nose bleed, but it wouldn't have caused the broken blood vessel in your eyes. It could contribute to that of course, those with high blood pressure or are taking blood-thinning medications have an increased chance of bursting a vessel. Despite looking like something out of a nightmare, luckily the condition is not serious at all. It's just a sign of strain, usually from something like coughing or vomiting. Were you doing either of those things?"

When the girl shook her head, the Hokage rolled her eyes. "Of course not. Well, either way you were recuperating by the time you dragged your skinny self to the nonemergency room and startled that poor receptionist. It wouldn't have taken much longer for normal respiration to have restored your oxygen levels if you hadn't been panicking. What were you doing, by the way?"

"MumBleMumblE".

"What was that?" Tsunade cupped her hand around an ear, smiling rather wickedly now that she knew there was some dirt. "I didn't quite hear you."

"Sealing experiments, trying to figure out the Hiraishin," she mumbled slightly below the hearing range for humans. Tsunade must have been a dog or something, because her face twitched.

"You've got to be kidding me."

Aiko shook her head, meekly. It had been stupid to keep her project under wraps. It was just… it would have been so humiliating to have tried and failed. If she had told anyone and then been unable to make the high-level, personalized seal to perform it, she would have felt like they were judging her. Like she was just a stupid child who had aspirations above her abilities.

Now she seemed like a stupid child who didn't know when to share dangerous experiments with someone who could supervise the process.

"Uzumaki will be the death of me." Tsunade tossed the clipboard onto the end of the bed as if she didn't have enough energy to care anymore. "You will be released tomorrow morning. At that time, you will report directly to my office and demonstrate this skill for me. Have you told anyone that you were attempting to learn that?"

Aiko shook her head silently, mildly ashamed of that. But not enough that she would tell anyone if she'd had another chance. She had to swallow before speaking. "No. Jiraiya gave me notes from an old student, and his notations and process of re-inventing it were all included. I used parts of those notes as a reference this last month, and I really wanted to try my hand at it."

Something strange wavered in Tsunade's eyes. That made sense—the Hiraishin would be a sentimental topic for her. It had been invented by her grand-uncle, and the last user had been the student who broke her teammate's heart by dying young. The Hiraishin hadn't saved him. But it was still a powerful tool. The Hokage sighed. "That was a bad decision, but it serves our purposes well. Keep it that way."

After she was left alone, Aiko had a lot of time to think about what had gone wrong. As that was also tinged with what had gone spectacularly right, she wasn't entirely depressed.

Now that she wasn't being questioned, she had time to realize just how pleased she was with herself for making the Hiraishin work. She'd never admit to that feeling out loud. It would be highly inappropriate to be anything less than demure and humble, especially since she hadn't really had to work as hard as she should have for the technique. She had been able to basically crib from Minato's notes and avoid the problems he had in tailoring the technique and had been able to use his changes as a model. The actual elemental changes had been inspired by the conversion seal Jiraiya had designed for her.

Really, very little of the seal was her own original research. Of course, all of those resources would have been useless if she hadn't happened to be a cerebral individual with much more education than any of her peers. Having access to even a basic education from a world that thought in a totally different way gave her twice as much material to use as reference points where someone like Jiraiya would have to come up with ideas that were entirely new to the Elemental Countries on their own.  
But hey, it was still really cool.

'The whole 'passing out and bleeding from my face' thing was slightly less cool, though,' she acknowledged in the safety of her own head. The symptoms Tsunade had described fit in with her theory that the Hiraishin involved displacement of air and other molecules, however. She must not have been engaging in perfect displacement, either through inexperience or distraction as she had gotten excited and light-headed.

'Come to think of it, being light-headed might help explain why I was giddy and less rational,' she realized. 'So perhaps the physiological reaction to the Hiraishin seals wasn't entirely a side-effect of the justu so much as that I was …doing it badly.'  
Well. That was embarrassing.

This would require some experimentation. Either it was a problem of learning her limit—how many times and what distance she could use the Hiraishin without negative repercussions—or it was a problem of perfecting the technique.

In either case, it was thoroughly possible to acclimatize oneself to function more effectively with lower oxygen levels. That was how people in high elevation lived, after all. Whether this was an irritation she would need to work around permanently or one that she could eventually fix through better control of her technique, gradually repeated exposure would help make the symptoms less severe.

When she met with Tsunade the next morning, she was actually ushered into a conference room she had never seen before. The table was loaded with what appeared to be breakfast and her entire notes from the past month and a half. She took a seat without prompting and rolled a pear in her palm consideringly. Tsunade didn't seem to care one way or the other. She was cutting up some sort of rolled egg concoction and staring blearily into the depths of her coffee.

The fruit was sweet and juicy, wetting her lips when she bit into it. Aiko closed her eyes to enjoy it better.

"I don't suppose the light of day makes what you told me yesterday make more sense?"

She opened her eyes unwillingly to gauge Tsunade's expression. Her voice had sounded so tired. It was strange. "I'm not sure what you mean," she confessed.

The older woman gave a deep sigh. Tsunade unfolded a blank piece of paper and pushed a bottle of ink across the table. "Demonstrate."

So she did, easily inking the seal she had made three times just yesterday. The Hokage tugged it out of her grip and examined it closely, closing one eye to squint at some of the sigils. When she seemed satisfied, the paper was tucked into a folder. Then she picked out another piece of paper from the same folder and set it on the table.

"Uzu… Aiko.." She propped her chin up on her palm. "Look at this, and tell me what you see."

Confused, Aiko took the paper. Her eyes widened.

"It's my official statistics report."

She hadn't actually seen it before. She eagerly ran her gaze over the page, cataloguing the information Konoha had collected on her. The skills breakdown was particularly interesting.

Ninjutsu 2  
Taijutsu 2.5  
Genjutsu 1.5  
Intelligence 4.5  
Strength 2  
Speed 3.5  
Stamina 2.5  
Hand Seals 4

Which gave her a total of… 22.5 out of 40. That was actually really respectable. Wasn't Kakashi-shishou's score something in the mid-thirties?

"That paper has not been adjusted to account for either your chakra chains or the Hiraishin, as they would skew the data. Do you see the problem, Uzumaki?" She didn't wait for an answer. "When I look at this sheet, I see a damn good Chuunin or a respectable Jounin who would excel in certain roles. And that is a major problem."

Well, that wasn't what she'd expected.

"You're already known for those chains that skew your otherwise lackluster ninjutsu scores disproportionately high, but the Hiraishin is in a completely different league. Aiko." Tsunade caught her chin and tilted it up. Aiko was so close that she breathed in the other woman's heady floral perfume.

She couldn't look away, not even if her chin had been released. Up close, those amber eyes were strikingly intense.  
"You are not anywhere near the level you need to be in order to deal with the type of opponents you will draw using the Hiraishin. Your skills are skewed towards the training you've had as a tracker type."

Aiko couldn't deny that. Although she had worked on her own to master the few ninjutsu shishou had given her and to make her taijutsu high Chuunin levels, shishou had been the one to work her hard on speed and endurance. She could track down damn near any runner.

"So far, you have been compensating for your relatively small and underpowered ninjutsu collection with your intellect. That's a good tool. But spitting a little lightning isn't going to put down the type of shinobi who want to take a swing at a Konoha nin using Hiraishin. I don't think you understand what everyone else thinks of that technique. It is internationally reviled. Everyone will want you dead. "

She swallowed, hard. Then she averted her eyes as best as she could without tugging her face away from Tsunade's grip.

Though she couldn't see it, she could hear the sigh that whooshed out of the older woman. "Listen to me, girl. You do not have the hitting power, either in taijutsu or in ninjutsu to take down S-class ninja who will flock to kill you. I'm sure you can see your weakest points as well as I can. Some of them are more crucial than others. For example, you can survive without being able to cast genjutsu, since you can break them well, but you are pitifully weak in the physical sense. Isn't that why your arm was broken on your last mission?"

Embarrassment turned her face red with heat. She had been stupid. If she had stopped to think, she would have known that using Hiraishin would make her a target. It was probably actually the specific reason behind the decision to hide the twins' parentage. Every Academy student knew that Minato had ripped through entire armies with the Thunder God technique. Rock would want her dead quickly.

"I see you understand." Tsunade released her, turning her face to the side to avoid Aiko's eyes. She cleared her throat. "I had been planning to send you to Sand in a week, you know."

Aiko lifted her head, interested despite herself. Why Sand?

As if the Hokage had heard her thoughts, Tsunade continued, "It doesn't matter, unless you're taking the mission, which we will see about after a re-evaluation. Uzumaki, I absolutely forbid you to use or speak of the Hiraishin until such a time as I clear it, unless it is an absolute emergency. Hatake is out of the village, and will be for weeks. That's a problem for you."

'I didn't know shishou was gone…' It hadn't been that long since she'd seen him last, after all. 'Then again, it's probably an ANBU thing again,' she realized. That would explain why he hadn't told her he was leaving town.

"I'm giving you a two week cram period before I consider you for any missions, Uzumaki. If I were you, I would find a short-term mentor in either ninjutsu or taijutsu. Two weeks won't make you an S-class shinobi, but that might be enough for you to build muscle mass and work out some of the kinks in your taijutsu. I thoroughly expect to hear you've been on the training grounds at least eight hours a day. When Hatake is back, ask him for an upper class jutsu or two. Understood?"

She nodded silently. It made sense.

"I think it's time I told you something." Tsunade tapped her fingers on the table. "Didn't you think it was strange that Jiraiya, a man you barely knew, would entrust you with notes from a former student with the Hiraishin in them?" She watched the girl carefully. She'd half-expected this outcome, but she was still a little surprised to see the girl shake her head. Tsunade narrowed her eyes, cataloguing the tiny tells the girl was giving off. It was easy to see that Aiko was mildly uncomfortable—her gaze wandered away from making eye contact, and her pulse jumped in her neck. But at least she knew she couldn't lie to the Hokage.

"You knew," she said slowly. Aiko nodded.

Tsunade closed her eyes. "I see. Did Hatake tell you?"

"No. But it's obvious, isn't it? Naruto looks exactly like the Fourth Hokage. It's amazing that he hasn't noticed."

A good, truthful answer, but that wasn't everything. "Do you have any questions?" At the negative reply, she sighed. "Fine, then. Get out. I have a meeting coming up."  
________________________________________  
"Gai-senpai?"  
The man turned in unison with his apprentice, eyebrows raising impossibly high. They'd hardly spoken before, after all, and she had never been the one to initiate more than pleasantries. Aiko gave a short bow to break eye contact.

"I was hoping to ask if I could train with you while Kakashi-shishou is out on a long mission. My taijutsu needs work, and I know that your taijutsu abilities outstrip even shishou's."

Shishou might actually be cranky with her for this, she knew during that first workout while Gai beat the absolute crap out of her and shouted cheerful encouragements. She wasn't entirely certain if the older men had a very strange friendship or if Gai really did just butt in on Kakashi-shishou's life. Either way, it wasn't really her place to intervene or use that connection to her advantage.

But the Hokage had been right. She needed to bring her other skills up to at least A-class in order to survive being known for an S-class skill. Solid B-class taijutsu would get her killed in a heartbeat. And Aiko wasn't completely blind to her shishou's faults as a teacher. He didn't seem to know how to teach some things. Being a literal genius at the shinobi arts didn't necessarily translate into being a good teacher of them, after all. That was why people like Iruka and Ebisu were so valued.

Gai was a little disconcerting to work with, however. He had the most formidable force of personality she'd ever encountered, topping even Naruto. The experience reminded her of times when she'd walked too close to a civilian teenager boy who'd apparently bathed in his cologne and the smell felt like a solid wall, burning her eyes and nose. The cologne wasn't bad, it was just too much for the human senses to properly compute, so her brain sort of flopped helplessly and tried to shut out the excess stimuli.

She did genuinely like him, however. He actually reminded her of a Daoist monk. He didn't care at all for convention or reputation, and it was impossible to forget the philosophy he articulated whenever someone seemed to be flagging (or when they were doing well, or before practice…). A man who cared about worldly things would not be caught dead in that jumpsuit. If you switched out mentions of "youth" for "the way", it'd be a perfect fit.

'Would it be sacrilegious to try to rewrite a sacred text?'

Aiko definitely did not have perfect recall and enough specific memories to reproduce the 'Classic of the Way of Power' in a state anywhere like it must have been when she'd read it, but she remembered some of the metaphor and meaning. Something is better than nothing, right?

She had to abandon that train of thought when Gai grabbed her wrist and sternly shook his head at her. "You are thinking too much! All your being must be focused on hitting the post."

Aiko valiantly resisted groaning, glancing down at her bleeding hands. She'd been set to doing this as soon as she was too shaky to meet Lee's blows in the second spar of the day.

This wasn't a training regimen Kakashi proscribed to, as far as she knew. Hitting posts was so old fashioned! Kunoichi and ninjutsu specialists rarely needed to callus their hands the same way that taijutsu specialists did. In fact, the roughened hands could be a detriment for her fingers' flexibility or the ability to blend in as a civilian cover.

But it would improve her physical strength, one of her lowest skill scores. And she could hardly turn her nose up at the training Gai offered when she had asked him.  
________________________________________

The neat pile of books and notes on her low table painted a confusing picture that didn't entirely mesh with the quiet, professional girl she had spoken to earlier that day.

Shizune had gone out drinking with a few ANBU friends, leaving Tsunade and Tonton at the mansion alone. Tonton was sleeping, snorting and kicking at the soft, circular rug designated for his use.

If she could just stop mulling over her inconclusive analysis, Tsunade would have been sleeping as well. She had more than enough on her plate to be thinking about something as minor as this. But something just wasn't right about Uzumaki Aiko. Or at least, she didn't know exactly how to pick apart how the oddities about the girl tugged at her attention. The notes from Uzumaki had been impressive enough. She'd expected that—both Anko and Jiraiya had noted separately that she had significant natural ability. That was practically her inheritance, however, so it hadn't been entirely surprising until she'd actually parsed through just what was so strange about the notes that bothered her.

They were methodical, perhaps too methodical to have come from a teenager. It had taken Tsunade a while to analyze the pattern Aiko seemed to utilize, and it definitely wasn't how she would have been taught to experiment with fuinjutsu. Tsunade had never even heard of someone recommending the system of testing that Aiko used. It was full of odd words like 'controls' and 'blind' that didn't make any sense in context. Why would Aiko think to refer to unaltered seals as 'controls'? What was 'blind' about not knowing which seal she was testing? That was better described as 'just plain stupid'. At least, she had thought so until she realized that there was sound logic behind each of those choices and other strange ones throughout the notes. It was a completely foreign way of thinking about seals, and the girl had apparently dreamed it all up on her own so nonchalantly that it didn't even occur to her to explain what her terms meant.

Aiko had been noted by her primary teacher, one Umino Iruka, as having high intelligence, an independent personality, and a tendency to get bored and distracted during class when the material was too easy which seemed to manifest as doodling and writing in a diary. Judging by that, Sensei's choice to place her with Hatake made perfect sense. They had a lot in common, aside from the diary bit.

But those reports hadn't indicated intelligence anywhere near this level. Which meant either that Umino was incompetent, or the girl had been downplaying her mental capabilities.

Tsunade had tested that by showing the girl the statistics with her adjusted intelligence score and not commenting on it to see if Aiko would think it odd. 4.5 was unreasonably high for a teenager, after all. Intelligence didn't just measure natural mental proclivities, but how well they had been developed and honed. Either the girl had an enormous ego, or she'd had no reason to think the elevated score was unusual.

Judging by the books Yamanaka Inoichi had borrowed from his daughter to show her, it was the latter. He'd been impressed when little Ino claimed that the books were written by her friend. He'd been mildly alarmed when he'd realized just how many of those books there were. That was the work of years of writing. Tsunade had flipped through a couple herself and was easily able to see what had so alarmed Inoichi. They were obviously not the work of an adolescent psyche, and the writing project must have started when the girl was still in the Academy.

It was no surprise that her teacher had noted she was bored, Tsunade realized. The girl had to be a genius on Hatake's level to have been this articulate at such a young age. When a prodigy cropped up in their ranks, (and a real prodigy, not just a genius like that Nara boy or how they'd gauged Aiko to be) they wouldn't be left to languish in the Academy. It was a waste of resources. Tsunade wasn't certain if she thought the girl had been benefitted or damaged by slipping through the cracks for so long.

That, combined with what little she had managed to conclude of the girl's personality in person, did constitute something of a picture. Aiko had taken criticism well, proving that although she had to be at least a little overconfident (trying an S class fuinjutsu without guidance proved that bit) she wasn't arrogant and prideful. She hadn't balked at a superior giving her unpleasant advice.

The analysis was even stranger in juxtaposition to her brother. Tsunade was definitely fonder of Naruto. Unlike his sister, he was an open book with big dreams and a strong emotional intelligence. He was empathetic and sensitive to others, and almost had a sixth sense for cutting to the quick of their deepest fears. Naruto was a true inheritor of the Will of Fire, and if Tsunade had anything to do with it, he would be her successor to the position of Hokage when he was strong enough. It was almost unthinkable that he would fail to become an excellent shinobi, despite his lackluster academic performance. He had a strong drive to succeed.

'I wish I knew what was motivating his sister,' Tsunade frowned. The only reasons she could think of for a child to hide their intelligence would be related to avoiding excess responsibility and danger through premature promotions. But the way that Aiko worked spoke of a strong work ethic, which just didn't fit with the other information. Was it just an attempt to impress her sensei? It had been noted more than once that Aiko idolized Hatake. If that wasn't a hint that Aiko was a poor judge of character, Tsunade didn't know what was. He was a good shinobi, but a very broken person.

Personally, Tsunade thought it was adorable that he'd finally found someone more socially inept to mentor. She rubbed at tired eyes and made a mental note to have those books returned to Ino in the morning with orders not to let Aiko know they had been out of her hands. There would be no point in letting her know that others were poking around, after all.

As much as high level shinobi were often highly secretive and private people, Tsunade didn't like to have shinobi rapidly rising through the ranks that she couldn't sum up at a glance. Unknown elements complicated her ability to assign the right person to the right tasks.

Tonton cracked an eye open and sleepily got to his feet, snuffling quietly as he trailed behind Tsunade to her bedroom.  
"I bet Shizune is closing down the bar," Tsunade muttered to the pig. He crawled up onto his little bed and collapsed. She let herself smile at the sight—a tired piggy was adorable—and tossed her green haori onto the chair beside her bed, fingers tugging on the obi securing her gray top.

She could worry about that later. Sleep was more important right now.


	40. Chapter 40

"My Rival!" Gai bellowed, barreling up and verbally assaulting the poor man as he crossed the village boundaries (covering ground so speedily that the road was filled with unfortunates choking on the dust he kicked up). Kakashi slumped a little, thumb twitching imperceptibly on his book's open page. Luckily, the motion was invisible from Gai's point of view. "I must speak with you!" A little yellow songbird took off from his perch on the gates at top speed. The Chuunin manning the entrance desk seemed to agree, one of them muttering, "Oh god," and the other covering his face with his hands as if in shame.

Gai merely beamed at him, giving no sign that he noted those things at all.

It wasn't often that Gai initiated conversation instead of challenges, so Kakashi was mildly interested. Still, there was a procedure to these things. Kakashi turned the page from the lovely illustration he had been admiring, despite not having finished reading the accompanying words. He knew what it said anyways. After a few moments, he looked up, feigning mild surprise.

"Oh, it's you. Did you say something?"

It quickly became clear that Gai actually had something to say, because he only wept manly tears for a few moments before snapping into a 'Good Guy' pose. He had to hustle into motion to catch up with Kakashi, who hadn't stopped walking in the first place.

"It's about your student."

Kakashi seamlessly slipped his book away and actually looked at the man who was probably his closest living friend. "Oh?" The opening was noncommittal, but the very fact that he'd engaged in conversation proved he was interested.

"While you were out on a mission, she sought me out for supplementary taijutsu training!" Sunlight pinged painfully off his slightly smug smile.

'Damn,' Kakashi thought in surprise, 'That's a point to Gai, isn't it?' He was mildly put out with Aiko. Even he knew it was pretty rude to seek help from another teacher. But she didn't seem the type to intentionally disrespect him. Had he been neglecting her growth? There seemed to be no need to rush. She had plenty of time. Her career was only beginning, and she was already an exemplary Chuunin.

"She seemed concerned about something. I fear that she needs your direction and guidance, so that her youthful abilities may be best honed!"

He'd made a good try to curb his enthusiasm and only really started to shout towards the end, a concession Kakashi appreciated. It illustrated the awkwardness that Gai was feeling about having a conversation on a somewhat personal level. Kakashi was feeling it as well.

Their friendship was mostly expressed through a series of subtle psychological games and one-upmanship in their professional lives. Their personal lives rarely entered into conversation.

That was largely because it was obvious that Gai won those interests hands down and he wasn't interested in categorically humiliating his 'Eternal Rival'. He had happy, successful family from a civilian clan in town who were ridiculously proud of their only shinobi relative, a close emotional bond with his apprentice, many friendships, and occasional romantic entanglements with shinobi and civilians alike.

Kakashi had a deserted family compound he couldn't stand to look at, a few children he desperately wanted to protect on basis of their relationships to dead team members (all but one of which had been taken from his protection) and a fifteen year relationship with his hand. And Kage bunshin. And Icha Icha. And that ridiculously assertive, grabby girl from that bar in Snow with the huge— well, the point was that he'd never had a real romantic relationship that extended beyond sex.

So this conversation was downright unprecedented, despite the way they were desperately trying to act as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"I see," he muttered, mind already miles away cataloguing what Aiko might be worried about. Had she caught wind of the increase in border problems and wondered if she was going to be deployed without him soon?

That thought stopped him in his tracks for a moment, genuinely not noticing whatever Gai was babbling about anymore. It was possible that Aiko had come to that conclusion, and frighteningly likely that she'd be right. He'd been assigned to more and more high level missions lately that she just didn't have the clearance for. His refusal to allow her promotion meant that she had been barred from his most dangerous missions (making it hard to keep an eye on her), but it also generally kept her off of rosters that her abilities couldn't handle. But that could change if these skirmishes broke into something more serious.

As of now, she was not ready to be in dangerous situations without his protection. She was trained as a tracker without the dogs to back up the retrieval aspects of the specialty, not a front lines combat specialist. She used poison and precision weaponry as her primary weapons and taijutsu as a fall back.

Unless she got assigned to some sort of ambush squad (an unlikely prospect, seeing as the problem was ambush warfare directed at Konoha's allies), Aiko was thoroughly unsuited to straight combat in war-like conditions. At best, she was prepared for dealing with small squads, but that preparedness was more due to her creativity than raw hitting power. She had that sword, of course, but she needed experience that she couldn't get from training to be really good at it.

That lack of front line ability was a problem, he noted darkly. Did she need backup more than she needed an increase in hitting power? Her brother had the Rasengan and the Kyuubi, setting him up as a frontline specialist. Aiko doted on Naruto and would almost certainly follow him wherever he went. It was almost a shame he didn't dare try to pass Chidori down onto his apprentice. She wasn't nearly skilled enough with lightning transformation for him to risk teaching that to her.

Then again, he had invented the Chidori himself with a shape and nature transformation. Perhaps he could adapt it for a water nature… It wouldn't have the cauterizing effect that the lightning natured Chidori did, however. That was one of the best traits for his jutsu—the brutal heat actually prevented excessive bleeding by burning the flesh even as it speared. It was an ugly way to die, of course, reducing the torso to shredded meat almost instantly, but it didn't give much time to suffer or excessive blood spatter that might restrict his vision and choke him.

A water transformation could cut in the same way, of course, he mused. If it was agitated enough it could generate enough cold to coagulate and reduce hot blood spatter by rapidly cooling it as the shape transformation element pierced flesh, but it wouldn't be as neat as chidori.

But it would be possible to make a powerful technique with a lot of hitting power that Aiko could easily use multiple times, since it was her original chakra nature, she had tons of chakra, and plenty of experience with low level water jutsu. Her cutting bullets actually utilized a similar hard-edge idea, of course, though on a much smaller scale…

He found his student on the training field Gai usually used. Kakashi repressed a flinch at what she was doing—punching posts was almost counterproductive for a kunoichi like Aiko. The scarring that resulted from extensive repetition would limit her dexterity.

'Maybe I should have given her something else to work on,' he thought guiltily. It was very unlike her to ask for help, however. His apprentice was so independent –bordering on secretive- that it hardly occurred to him to do more than help with whatever project she had decided on, aside from training her to track.

Perhaps it had been influence from her peers (who were gaining ability at a shocking rate that caused gossiping that even Kakashi couldn't avoid hearing) that sent her in search of guidance. Naruto was learning toad summoning and powerful attacks, Sasuke was learning slug summoning and a terrifying lightning release used for altering heartbeats and scrambling nerve signals (elemental medical techniques were something Kakashi had never quite trusted), and those two girls she lived with were both gaining a reputation for wandering out with little snakes on their arms that they… had… summoned.

'Ah. In retrospect, this seems like an obvious conclusion.'

In a way, it was obvious. But it was also totally counterintuitive to think of ever passing down his contract. After all, it had traditionally been in the Hatake line, and he had no children or plans to acquire them. On the other hand, it was also traditional to pass on even family techniques to personal apprentices. It would also go a long way toward improving her combat abilities. Many of his packmates were B-class fighters on their own (almost all of them but stubby little Pakkun, actually, who was the brains, an excellent tracker, and a personal friend). Working together, they were truly formidable. They wouldn't quite replace him, but his pack would ensure that she was never alone when he couldn't be there.

Now that he knew what he would teach her while he worked out the kinks of his elemental transformation idea, Kakashi shun-shined into her view and simultaneously stopped suppressing his chakra signature. It was too cold to lurk anyways. The wind was really going that day, tugging at his trousers as if it wanted to rip them right off. He much preferred the heat.

Aiko noticed him immediately, her next blow faltering. She cringed when she hit the pole, but doggedly kept on as she had no doubt been instructed. Kakashi flickered right beside her and gently stopped the next blow, twisting her wrist slightly to examine her hand.

He had to sigh at the angry, mangled skin he saw when he unwrapped the bandages inadequately protecting her hand. "Aiko, go to Sasuke and have these calluses healed up. You can't afford that. Your technique and hitting power seem to have improved, however," he added to soften the criticism.

It was true. His student had never worked extensively to improve her raw physical strength, but he'd never thought it especially crucial. She tended to put on lean muscle even when doing workouts that had bulked him up, making her petite and agile. Unless she had a very surprising growth spurt, she wouldn't have Kushina's raw hitting power. She'd been even stronger than Minato, who had not been a frail flower by any means. It was a little odd, since Naruto gained hard muscle like Kushina. Aiko must be a throwback to Minato's mother.

He'd never met her, of course, but she must have been a petite, curvy woman. Aiko had always been such a skinny thing, but lately- No. He shied away from that mildly traumatizing thought. He wasn't ready to deal with a teenage girl. If he said it wasn't happening, then it wasn't happening. There was definitely no puberty happening on his goddamn watch.

Kakashi did not look at his apprentice at all. "After you have those healed, meet me back on our training grounds. I have something to teach you, starting tonight".

She might get it in one night, actually. The actual theory of summoning was simple. The hard part was developing working relationships with your contract holder, but his ninken were all trained professionals who would help Aiko as a favor to him if nothing else. If he never passed on the contract at all, their warrior caste would probably have to disperse further than they already had into other professions, and ninken were proud people in their own way. He was certain he could persuade them to accept another summoner, even if it was unconventional.

While she was gone, he called up Pakkun and explained the situation and acquired permission. It would have been embarrassing to find out with her there that they refused to take a summoner outside of the family the contract had originally been made with, after all. There was no point in accidentally humiliating the girl, after all. Luckily, Pakkun agreed nonchalantly. They were outlining how things would work out when Aiko gracefully touched down in the clearing, eyes brightening visibly at the sight of Pakkun.

'Oh, yes,' Kakashi remembered. 'She's liked the dogs since the first time she saw them.' He gave Pakkun a skeptical look. He was a full-grown adult with grown puppies, begging for belly rubs from a little girl. Shameful, was what it was. Pakkun let his tongue loll out in a way that Aiko apparently found cute, but Kakashi knew was a rude gesture directed at him. 'Either she really likes animals in general, or she's easily impressed.'

He didn't seriously mean that, of course. Pakkun was an excellent ninken, and he had adorable soft paws that had captivated Kakashi as a child. (shinobi or not, toddlers were allowed to cuddle puppies, he'd insisted when his father and later Minato-sensei had tried to tell him ninken were not toys.)

"Alright, that's enough." Pakkun gave him a betrayed expression, but Aiko obediently stopped and looked up at him for more directions.

He liked that about her, Kakashi mused. Naruto and Sakura had always been distractible (and the thought was painful, he'd gotten a twelve year old killed and Naruto had been taken away) and Sasuke had always been insolent. If Tenzo wasn't quite so pathetically eager to please, Kakashi might have rated him as highly as Aiko on the 'favorite subordinates' list, but his cute little kohai didn't have Aiko's sharp tongue and humor. He was fun to tease, though. That crush was adorable, even though it was hilariously misplaced.

"Good news, Aiko-chan. Pakkun has agreed to let you sign the ninken contract."

It was a conscious effort not to chuckle when her jaw dropped. He took a moment to savor the surprise on her face. Then he frowned, struck by a thought. Was it really so surprising that he would teach her something of his own volition? He was her shishou, wasn't he? He'd taught her plenty of things unprompted, like… Like…

Kakashi scrunched up his face in thought, features safely hidden behind his mask. Hmm.

With a deep sigh, Pakkun rolled over and put his little paws on the ground. "I'll be right back with the contract," he grumbled, giving Kakashi a pointed look that implied there would be stern words if he interfered with a belly rub again. Then he cancelled the summoning and poofed away.

Suddenly alone with his student, Kakashi dropped effortlessly to the grass with casually folded legs and patted a spot relatively close to his side absentmindedly before poking around in his little pouch for a brush. He pulled one with a frayed, bent end out victoriously, but-

"Aiko, do you have any ink?"

She must have, because she wordlessly reached into her little leg holster and withdrew—a scroll? He didn't have time to comment on her odd habit of sealing everything up even when in the village, because that was when he felt the tug that indicated Pakkun was yanking on their connection. Kakashi sped through the motions to summon the pug again once more, and then immediately shot his hand up to catch the scroll that Pakkun tossed at him.

A lesser man might have winced at the toothprints on the delicate, painted material, but he was well used to those. It was best not to even think about his poor woodwork. Even a hyper intelligent ninken was still a dog when it came to things that needed to be chewed on just for the principle of it. Or things that tasted good, or moved interestingly, or had a funny shape…

"Thank you," he said absently, unrolling the contract reverently. It wasn't an especially long one, not as far as family contract went. That damn cat scroll for those twitchy Uchiha had been signed for something like fifteen generations straight, for example. (His dad's partner had never shut up about it, growling at the slightest hint of the clan's traditional summon partners). But his gaze still softened at his father's and grandmother's signatures, along with a great-uncle he'd never known. He hadn't seen those names in a long time.

Pakkun wiggled up onto Aiko's lap, nudging at her slack hand with his boxy head. "You're going to have to eventually find your own pack," he rumbled. His left paw dug into her leg pleadingly, and his eyes shut in happiness when she scratched at his ear. "Ah, that's the spot. Anyways, I'm getting too old to commit to another summoner. Boss keeps me busy enough. But we'll work for you until you have time to meet some other puppies who need a partner."

"I appreciate that." Aiko smiled down at the dog, and Kakashi had to look away uncomfortably. She didn't usually smile like that. She looked disconcertingly like Kushina with that uncharacteristic grin.

"Right." He gently placed the contract in front of her. "Once you've signed, I'll go over the summoning seals with you. It shouldn't take you too long to figure that out."

She leaned over as best as she could without disturbing the pug in her lap. His enormous brown eyes were intent on the scroll, despite his apparent smugness about getting snuggled. This would be the first time he'd seen the scroll open, much less signed. He'd been a tiny puppy when Kakashi had signed it in his boyhood, and they'd grown up together.

Aiko's scrawl was hasty but showed a steady hand and technical perfection, he noted. A carryover trait from practicing seals, perhaps? He'd never mastered seals, in large part because his handwriting was a horrifying chicken scratch that had actually made Minato-sensei cry once. When he consciously worked at it, it was less terrible… but then again, the messy handwriting frustrated that paperwork Chuunin and made him turn the most amusing colors and get so angry he'd unintentionally use Big-Head-No-Jutsu.

As she finished the last character and lifted the brush, the ink she had just used crackled and shone red for just a moment, before settling back down. He blew on it to be sure, but it had dried. That meant…

"Well, congratulations," he eye-smiled at his baffled looking apprentice. "Looks like you've been deemed worthy. Now, shove Pakkun off your lap and pay attention." The little dog tumbled off with a pout before she could move him and grabbed the scroll in his teeth.

"See if I help you again," he muttered, tossing the scroll up and catching it again to get a better grip.

"Be sure to tell everyone that she's practicing, would you?"

"Yeah, yeah. Doubtless they already know." Pakkun snorted, mumbling slightly around the paper in his mouth. "You shoulda heard old Grandma bark when I asked for the contract. 'That good-for-nothing finally had a puppy?" he mimicked in an old, wheezy voice. Then he disappeared.

Aiko appeared to be valiantly resisting saying something, possibly a question about that last statement. Kakashi saw no need to explain. Grandmother Dog meant it in the best possible way, he was sure. Aiko would probably never meet her anyways. If she did, however, she would understand.

"Pay attention." He carefully formed the first seal. Aiko wordlessly mimicked him. "When you start building up chakra depends on who you're summoning, but you also vary who you're calling by thinking of who you need. For example, you don't need to use chakra at all until the last two seals to get Pakkun. I can't tell you how much, though, you'll have to figure it out through trial and error."

 

The new skin on her hands was oddly pink and pulled slightly, but she was too happy to care. Karin gave her an odd look when she flounced into the house humming aloud that Aiko didn't acknowledge. Sure, she'd been crabby and grouchy for the last few weeks (two weeks in-village with Gai had turned into 19 days, which was approximately 18 days longer than her poor body could handle.)

Even her good mood couldn't drown out the screaming of every muscle in her body, so she turned on the hot water in the traditional tub and shook in bath salts that would help mitigate that pain before stripping and rinsing off with the bucket.

It was the same thing she'd been doing since the second day of working out with Gai and Lee. It was a little shameful that a genin could give her such a work out. She could beat him, of course, but not head-on, and the whole point of going to a taijutsu master was to improve her most critical skill, not scheme to outsmart a fifteen year old boy. Lee's overwhelming focus on exclusively taijutsu had turned him into an absolute monster. She wasn't at all ashamed to admit that the phrase 'Genius of Hard Work' actually did fit.

She'd been joining them on their second workout session every day. Neji and Tenten apparently only tolerated them enough for one workout per day, and spent the rest of the time developing their personal abilities.

'Come to think of it, I've never seen Tenten use taijutsu,' she realized. Aiko had to laugh at herself a bit when she figured out that she'd subconsciously assumed the girl avoided it because she was no good at it. Not a chance in hell, not with those two as workout partners (not to mention yet another taijutsu specialist, Neji) for going on three years now.

Of course, because she had just gotten comfortable, the laws of the universe dictated that there would be a knock on the door. she sunk up to her chin in the water, hoping Karin would be civilized enough to answer it for once.

She was, but unfortunately a moment later Karin called out, "Aiko, Ino is here to see you."

Aiko groaned quietly, letting her head thud back against the side of the tub. "I'll be right out," she projected her voice to carry and stood up. Somewhat sullenly, she toweled dry and pulled on a house yukata, wrapping her hair up in the towel as she pushed the door open with her foot and padded out.

"Hello, Ino."

The girl in question gave her a mildly embarrassed look that Aiko immediately pegged as strange. Ino wasn't body shy, was she? Then she noticed the short pile of books in the burlap bag wrapped around Ino's wrist.

"Oh, right. You're returning those, then?"

Ino nodded, averting her eyes. "Yes, they were great." She cleared her throat. Aiko eyed the other girl curiously. Something was seriously weird with Ino today. She was never this self-conscious.

"Is something wrong?" she prodded, indicating that Ino could set the books on the table.

As she upended her bag, Ino visibly hesitated, struggling with words. Then she turned a blinding smile on Aiko. "You know, I was just thinking that you should get some of those published." She snatched 'My Neighbor Totoro' off the table. "Especially this one, I criiiied for days. Plus you could make a lot of money off of it, I know just the person to talk to," she babbled, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"Um, thank you?" Flustered, Aiko just took the suggestion as a compliment. Well. It wouldn't be a terrible idea. Books and ideas were meant to be shared, after all, and she wasn't so morally upright that she would turn down a source of income. She killed people for a living, which sort of made the relative correctness of taking credit for the creation of stories from another universe seem negligible.

'Is that really was Ino was acting so weird about?' After the other girl had left, she just shook her head. 'I'll never understand some people.'

 

"Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me," Shizune grumbled. She glanced around shiftily, and then hid the sheet of paper explaining the Daimyo's most recent ridiculous request at the bottom of the 'In' pile. Sasuke could be the one to break that to Tsunade. He might not even know what a request for an escort on a round of Alternate Attendance meant.

Shizune had been forced to go once. It was a long mission with no combat predicted. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but all the pomp, self-important speeches, and ridiculous spectacle were enough to make her want to throw up.

Essentially, the Daimyo kept his lords too poor to lead rebellions by going to visit them and 'allowing' them to host him. It invariably turned into a massive competition to out-do one another and try to impress him to curry favor. They were forever sniveling after his approval. Since the Daimyo had to personally approve all marriages between the nobles, it was difficult for them to use that most binding form of merging two families' interests. Impressing him and having his ear made it easier to sell off their children like cattle.

Shizune was not very fond of the noble class, to be honest. It was one thing to owe your undying allegiance to your lord (that was much like serving a Hokage, after all) but it was another thing altogether to dictate the lives of your adult children. It was a barbaric system. Shinobi's children were free as birds, finding love where they would. Life was too short (and also far too long) to barter your adult years to someone you didn't know in exchange for wealth that would never benefit you.

But still, Tsunade would have to send a stupidly large, grandiose force to the parade to grumble with the samurai dressed up like china dolls (the one time they were in total agreement). The Daimyo liked to occasionally remind everyone that the shinobi were his subjects, totally loyal to his interests. The show kept them from hiring Konoha nin to use against him.

'Sometimes,' she thought rather uncharitably, 'I approve of what Mist did when they got rid of their altogether.' 

Sure the country had fallen apart afterwards, but that had been for unrelated reasons.

She startled a little when her kohai appeared behind her. That one was silent as the grave. Shizune pulled on a smile and turned to face him. Her perpetual good cheer was a little tiring to maintain, but it was worth it when she could make other people's days a little brighter. "Hello, Sasuke-kun. Ready to go?"

Of course he was ready to go and she had known that. Today was the first day of his pediatrics practicum. He was taking a specialty path in disease in addition to the general practitioner training Tsunade had been giving him in between rounds of paperwork. He didn't have an appointment with his little cousin today, however. They were doing their best to obscure any possible connection. No, he would see her in person for the first time two days from now.

Sasuke hadn't actually been that enthused about this career path, trepidation that she understood. Essentially, he was going to have to treat it as a very time-consuming hobby in addition to his job of becoming a combat oriented medic. He had far too much talent as a fighter to be confined to a hospital.

At least it would be an excellent intellectual exercise, as well as the perfect cover for making certain his only living relative (that he didn't want dead, was the caveat) was safe and happy. His longing for that familial connection was painfully obvious to Shizune.

She wasn't naïve enough to claim that she knew him well, but she was probably one of the two or three people living who he had let in past his barriers at all. Kakashi might have had a chance, but he just didn't have the temperament to provide a little boy what he needed.

Part of her success in getting through to him was through her remarkable restraint in not communicating that she thought he had the most adorable little grumpy face.

It was really hard not to pinch those cheeks, but she somehow managed to soldier on. Shizune was a goddamn champ.

 

Omake

"About damn time, boss," Pakkun growled when he looked through the summoning smoke and saw Aiko's little gloves on the ground as if she had just left for a moment.

His explanations died on Kakashi's lips and he scowled at his ninken. "That's just rude. I had a carefully considered argument plotted out."

What little he'd plotted in the four minutes since Aiko had trotted off to the hospital, anyways.

"What?" Pakkun asked, tilting his head. One of his ears flopped and smacked him in the face, so he shook his head. "I like puppies, unlike some people I know." He gave Kakashi a rude look. "You know, when I agreed to be your partner, I thought there would eventually be puppies."

"Keep dreaming," Kakashi said blandly.

 

Author's Note:

Some incredibly talented, fabulous individual ( ) has kindly shared with me a link to their interpretation of Aiko. I'm super flattered and I've looked at it like ten times and squealed happily. You should look, too, it's adorable! The link is in my profile, or should be if I've done things right. It's not exactly my interpretation of Aiko, but that's almost better because it's cool to see how the vague, color based description I did give translates to different artistic imaginations.

Also, I'm a little sleep deprived and sick, so there may be more typos or tiredness-inspired weirdness than usual. Feel free to tell me if you spot something atrocious and I'll fix it.


	41. Chapter 41

"Hatake, put down that damn book and pay attention for once in your life, or I'm going to leave you in the dark."

He glared a little, but obediently tucked Icha Icha Madness away safely.

Tsunade rolled her eyes and sighed, momentarily considering the intelligence of trusting this smartass with anything. But it was his kid.

"Uzumaki, you're clear to tell Hatake what I classified earlier. Usage is now at his discretion."

Aiko nodded, but Hatake and Yamato gave her sharp looks. She cringed a little.

"You will be taking two genin corps teams as backup so that we're sending a respectable force. I expect you three to keep an eye on them."

"Genin," Yamato asked disbelievingly. Tsunade gave him a dirty look.

"Yes, genin. We're a bit understaffed. Besides, they're just needed to supplement Wind's border guard and allow their Chuunin relief. As is, they're three men short for a full watch at the area of the incidents. You'll be dealing with the actual excursions, along with three teams from Sand and three from Mist."

Kakashi sniggered at the snub. Ostensibly, by sending three teams, Konoha was contributing just as much as her allies. But the rank disparity would almost certainly piss people off. Tsunade pretended to look innocent about the implicit claim that Konoha's genin were equal to Sand's Chuunin and that a three man team from Konoha was as good as nine people from Sand or Mist.

The only one in the office who might possibly have bought her innocent expression was Tonton.

'Kami, it's a good thing that Gaara has been working on his temper. I bet Terumi Mei is hopping mad, though.'

The Hokage cleared her throat. "The Border stretch in question is the one that runs along Bird Country." She rolled her eyes a little. "Ten guesses as to which country probably let Sound get there unhindered from Grass," she said dryly.

'And if we guess 'Rain', she'll probably hit us.' Aiko pressed her lips together to avoid an inappropriate smile. It really wasn't funny that Earth appeared to have let Sound pass their borders unhindered at least twice. Of course they had plausible deniability, but it seemed pretty plain to see that the Tsuchikage didn't mind letting someone else take a swing at Sand.

That meant that even if he wasn't actually planning to go to war with the Leaf-Sand-Mist alliance, he didn't wish them well either.

'Actually, Rock and Lightning might feel threatened by a three country alliance,' Aiko realized. 'I would, if it were me. It looks like we're militarizing, even if we don't actually plan to start anything.'

"You'll be reporting here, and the time your team is expected to report is on your mission file, along with all other relevant information. Meet the two genin teams downstairs, they should be in the second waiting room. Any questions?"

No one had any, so they got the hell out and met the genin teams.

"Aiko-senpai!"

Akira caught her in a hug around the waist, digging her pony-tailed little head onto her chest. Aiko stiffened, not exactly certain as to what she should be doing. Usually only Naruto gave her surprise hugs. Her standard procedure for that was to let him do what he wanted and maybe pat his back a little.

'I didn't think the ducklings liked me that much…'

Luckily, the other two ducklings and the three older genin corps members in the room were much more reserved. Ken gave a little wave, and Emiko gave a polite nod. Once she'd finally pried off Akira and exchanged greetings with the genin she knew, the other team introduced themselves. It happened to be an all male team, with a much wider age group than the other genin group. The youngest looked to be about thirteen, but the other two had to be between sixteen and nineteen or so.

"Yamato, teams 2 and 3." Everyone jumped at the sudden serious tone of command from Kakashi, who was in charge of all the squads. "Go to the gate to await departure. Aiko, I want to talk to you at training ground 7."

She fingered the kunai in her pocket nervously as she followed her shishou, trying not to look too nervous. Tsunade had 'allowed' (read: ordered) Aiko to practice and demonstrate the Hiraishin on her private grounds. In retrospect, that was probably so that she knew whether or not it was wise to clue in her commanding officer that the technique was at his disposal when she sent them into the field. But it had never even occurred to the otherwise-thorough Tsunade to ask if Aiko could do anything other than what she thought of as the 'standard' Hiraishin.

And why should it have? Aiko hadn't actually really made modifications to the seal, per say. Her triangulation was only a different way of thinking about the Hiraishin, not an actual modification. Minato (and probably the Hokage who had invented it) had been able to appear in slightly different locations to their seals as needed, so their seals hadn't really been that different.

Really, her idea said more about her relative laziness than any actual flaw in the technique. Why throw the seal again and again when she could use three stationary ones for a similar purpose?

When she'd had time to think after the tongue-lashing/impromptu career advisory session that Tsunade had given her, Aiko had realized that her modified idea should be kept close to the vest. If everyone would assume they knew the weakness of her technique (that she had to appear next to the seals, which was why Rock had always tried to steal Minato's kunai) then they wouldn't actually be making plans that took advantage of her real weaknesses, which were more along the lines of her repeated inability to transport more than twenty times without getting a nosebleed. That was a generally good sign that her regular cognitive function would be deteriorating as well, due to low oxygen levels.

'At least,' she amended, 'I hope that will keep anyone from finding out about my real problems until I can mitigate them.' 

To that end, she had affixed seals to four kunai. Enough that she could set up an array if she needed to, but also few enough to convince a casual viewer that there was no reason to assume she'd done anything different if she just used the 'standard' Hiraishin.

It smacked of lying when she thought about keeping the information from Kakashi, one of the few people she really trusted. Then again, it wasn't like she'd ever been completely honest with another person in her living memory, and it would be hard to explain her apparently revolutionary idea without hinting at her extra, unexplainable knowledge. She'd tentatively decided to tell him about the modification with the weak explanation that it had just occurred to her, but only after she knew how he'd react to finding out that she'd been experimenting and hadn't told him. He'd respect that Tsunade had classified the information. That was what being in the chain of command meant, after all. But he wouldn't be happy about having been out of the loop in the first place.

He stopped first, and turned to face her. For once, she couldn't read his expression.

That was a little unnerving. She had learned to read what was really going on under that mask a long time ago. The only time it could really keep his thoughts (or reactions, at least) from her was if he was intentionally stilling his face.

That made this a conversation between a commander and his subordinate, not Kakashi-shishou and Aiko. She straightened accordingly and met his gaze levelly.

"What did the Hokage refer to as classified information?"

Aiko closed her eyes to steel her nerves, and slipped her left hand into her kunai pouch where the special kunai were being kept. He had no doubt noticed the extra weaponry. She opened her eyes as she flung it to the left, and flipped positions to catch it just before the tip touched a tree trunk… without moving her unbent legs or turning her face. She turned to face him again, somewhat comforted by the extra distance. "That. When I was with Jiraiya, he gave me notes from a former student. I found his explanations and analyses of his process with the Hiraishin… so I deconstructed it and made my own adaption."

'Well, the mask isn't doing much good right now,' she noted with black humor. He looked shocked, an expression she'd never seen written so clearly before in his dropped jaw, raised eyebrow, and wide eye.

Weakly, he cleared his throat. "And you took this to Tsunade?"

She winced. Aiko had hoped he would forget that detail. "Ah, no. She found out when I got slightly overexcited with my first try and ended up with minor injuries. She classified it immediately, had me show her my seal, and then had me practice under her supervision."

"Minor injuries?"

"A nose bleed and a burst blood vessel in my eye from rapid changes in pressure."

Well, sort of, anyway. That was easier to explain.

He didn't even look like he was seeing her. Kakashi didn't look upset so much as nostalgic and mildly blindsided.

Aiko started to feel a bit irritated. Shouldn't he say something? Be mad or proud or something, not just stare over her shoulder?

As if he'd heard her thoughts, he gave a fake eye-smile. "I suppose this coincided with your decision to ask Gai for extra training? You know, you could have talked to me if you felt I wasn't giving you enough to do."

She flushed red. "That's not it!" Aiko cleared her throat and started again, more calmly. "That's not what I meant. I mean, Tsunade told me I wasn't allowed to use it because I'm not strong enough to deal with everyone who hates the Hiraishin. I was supposed to ask you for a more powerful attack when you got back, but then you taught me summoning right away."

The smile that followed was reflexive and natural. She loved the dogs, even though she didn't know most of them very well yet. Pakkun had even introduced her to a 'puppy' (puppy her ass, that dog was almost as big as Aiko) who needed a summoner and they were in the meet-and-greet stage.

"I see." Now he sounded proud, and a little amused. "Do you have the Hiraishin mastered, then?"

Aiko shrugged. "I have it pretty well under hand, but 'mastered' would be a strong word. The more I use it at once, the less precise I am.'

He cracked a smile. "That's amazing, Aiko-chan. You should have asked me. Maybe it's time for you to learn Rasengan. Your brother has it, after all."

She stared, the smile slipping off her face. Kakashi frowned at her, sensing the change in attitude.

"Why do you always do that," she blurted out, unthinkingly.

The far away gaze she'd noted a million times was gone, but she hadn't forgotten it. "Is something wrong?"

'This is a conversation I never wanted to have with you, that's what's wrong.'

Aiko took a deep breath. "I don't want to learn Rasengan."

He was very still, for a moment. Then he moved closer, as if trying to understand her. "Why not?"

"I don't think we should have this conversation." Aiko swallowed, hard, pushing back the words that she knew weren't a good idea to speak aloud.

"Aiko. Why don't you want to learn the Rasengan?"

'I can't say no to that face,' she thought miserably. And the words came out, hot and heavy with all the weight of the years where she'd never hinted at the thoughts she was expressing. "Shishou, sometimes you look at me like you don't even see me. You're seeing Minato or Kushina or some half-assed amalgamation of the two. I'm not either of my parents. That's why you pushed the chakra chains so much, right? Because Kushina was good at them. Well, I'm not nearly that good and I never will be," she added fiercely. 'I don't even want to be. I'm Aiko damnit, not Kushina.'

He was pale, but she was on a roll. "And I know that's why Jiraiya gave me those notes," she added quickly, letting something strange slip into her tone. "That's why he taught Naruto Rasengan. He thinks we're them too, not us."

"Who told you about your parents? I wasn't allowed to." His voice was quiet, and painfully devoid of inflection or tone.

And ohhh boy, wasn't that a loaded question?

"No one. Tsunade was going to tell me earlier, though. But I'm not stupid, you know. I don't know how anyone expected us to see the pictures in our textbooks and not see that Naruto looked exactly like the Fourth Hokage and we 'just happen' to have the last name of the one other S-class war hero from the last war." She didn't even try to hide the irritation. "The one who was famous for using chakra chains, which you were insistent I could learn." She leveled him with an unimpressed look. "It'd be almost harder not to figure it out if you have even the slightest interest."

Kakashi gave an odd chuckle, as if he didn't know what to think. "Sensei's in your textbooks? So it wasn't the hundred meter monument that clued you in, huh?"

"That's an awful likeness," she muttered. "Whoever made it shouldn't quit his day job."

He made a choking sound, twitching slightly. His head shook slightly, and he let his hand cradle his cheekbone, fingers splaying out over his eyes. The end result was that he looked like he had a massive headache.

"Right," he finally muttered, letting his hand slide up to his forehead and further up to ruffle at his hair. "I get it, adults are stupid. I held similar sentiments at one point. What does that have to do with not wanting to learn Rasengan? It's a very powerful move, and Naruto learned it in record time. It's your legacy."

"Well, I'm not Naruto either," she snapped irritably. He looked a little unnerved by the uncharacteristic temper, leaning back slightly. It was clear he was uncomfortable. She'd known he had no stomach for emotions, and that logic was the way to get through to him. If she wanted Kakashi to take her seriously, she had to remain as calm as possible. But at this point she was on a roll. She'd told him exactly why she didn't want to learn it and he just didn't want to understand. Shishou was far too intelligent to not understand the concept. It just wasn't that hard.

These were thoughts she'd had for years, but never expressed. They were practically heretical in the post-Kyuubi konoha, and wouldn't have made life any easier for Naruto.

But Uzumaki Kushina and Namekaze Minato weren't her parents. She didn't have parents, and didn't really think Naruto did either. If he wasn't desperate for parental affection, he'd probably come to the same conclusion.

What kind of parent died for their village when they had two infant children?

Her voice was cold. "I'm sick of you looking at me and seeing dead people, Kakashi." He recoiled as if struck. "Because that's what they are. Dead people that I never knew, who were never any sort of parents to me." She laughed bitterly. "They aren't anyone's parents. I'm more Naruto's parent than either of them. I raised him." She placed her hand on her chest and let it make a fist convulsively. "A good shinobi dies for their village. A good parent would have lived for their kid."

She turned away, courage failing. The words had been bottled up for fourteen years. This hadn't been the time to share them.

"It's like I don't know you," he said finally, quietly. Aiko screwed her eyes shut, breaths shuddering.

That had been an outcome she was afraid of. Kakashi had never liked her on her own merits. He'd only wanted her as a student because he looked at her and thought of Minato. She'd never considered either of those people her parents. She was an adult and she didn't need parents. Maybe she could acknowledge them as family in the same sense that Karin was, someone who she might like on a personal level if she got the chance, but that wasn't a parent.

Her hand clenched around her thigh, and she kept her voice carefully calm. It still broke a little. "Maybe it's not fair to them, but they're my feelings and I'm allowed to have them."

There was a moment of stillness, like a breath. Then the training ground was silent, and she knew she was alone. Aiko opened her eyes, took a calming breath as she roughly rubbed at her eyes, and made her way to the gate.

When she made it, all she saw of Kakashi was his back before he silently took off. Yamato gave her a distinctly baffled look that she answered with a glare. 'Mind your own damn business,' she thought fiercely. He was smart enough not to even try a conversation. The pace was brutal, and soon the genin were struggling.

Yamato carefully didn't look at either of his teammates. 'My tactical assessment is that something weird has happened.' He'd never seen Kakashi-shishou and Aiko so obviously on the outs with each other. He wasn't going to touch that situation with a ten-foot wooden pole, in no small part because Aiko would ask him if he was compensating for something. She looked to be in a mean mood.

Aiko had no idea what the second team of genin was named, and didn't even care enough to feel guilty about it. The trip proved that none of them were very interesting. Aside from Akira's easily rebuffed attempts to ingratiate herself with the upper level shinobi (Aiko had been relieved to find out that the girl had just wanted to snag herself an upper level sponsor, because that meant that she hadn't accidentally made a friend and then neglected her for months), everyone stayed in their own squads.

'Wind Country hasn't gotten any more pleasant,' she grouched internally as, over the course of a day of running, the trees got shorter and dirt turned to sand. Breathing in such dry air was an uncomfortable transition, and they had to stop twice to allow the younger teams to catch their breath and adjust to the dryness in their mouths. Without words, the senior nin stopped and set up camp for the night the third time that the genin couldn't go on. The second day of travel was just as painfully silent as the first. Even the genin eventually managed to shut their mouths and just concentrate on running.

Kakashi still didn't look at her.

Sand was pleased to see them show up. They were somewhat less pleased when the low level of the two younger teams became known (although annoyingly, they seemed to think Aiko was the third team member for the boys' team and that the tall one with the stupid hair was the Chuunin).

'I'm not that short,' she glowered. 'A year ago, I was the tall one, you stupid fucks.'

The teams separated, a team of Chuunin waving for them to wait and taking the genin with them to the wall. Aiko waited, dull-eyed and uninterested while Yamato fidgeted and Kakashi looked uncharacteristically professional. She only managed to drum up some interest when she realized she recognized all three members of the team that touched down in the clearing and stood to look at them.

Granted, she only knew of Baki in the vaguest sense. She might not have recognized him if Temari and Kankuro weren't on either side of him… and both giving her weird, assessing looks. She bared her teeth in response, not feeling up to taking anyone's shit today. Normally she'd fake nonchalance and deflect aggression around foreign nin to avoid getting into a fight. It was what she had done in past, when she first met them in Sand and they decided to act like jackasses for no reason. But today she was pissed off.

When they simultaneously paled and exchanged 'creeped-out' looks, she had to wonder if her scary face wasn't a little too scary.

(Temari grimaced, trying not to cringe. 'It looks like when Gaara tries to smile.'

'I was kind of expecting a tiger with lipstick,' Kankuro thought optimistically. 'By comparison, she seems very nice. Nicer than a girl that I thought Gaara would tolerate and take out for ice cream would be, anyway.')

Kakashi gave Aiko a sharp look, devoid of any of the usual affection. She huffed and turned away sullenly. So that's how it was. He provoked people all the time, and they'd started it anyways.

If the world had been a fair place, she would have been led to her room and allowed to go do her best to drown herself in the shower, maybe scream into pillow for a bit and write an angry poem. But it was a shitstorm of totally unfair suckiness designed to make even the worst of days worse, so that was when some shrieking harpy landed in the clearing, heralding what was probably the worst surprise attack in the history of ninja that hadn't been orchestrated by Naruto.

Yamato cut her down in an instant, looking almost surprised that he was the first one to move.

"That's just perfect," Aiko muttered, angrily yanking the sword on her back out of the hilt with an icy sliding sound that matched her bad mood nicely. Kankuro was moving to arm himself as well, his oversized doll flying off his back and leading the way into the trees. Baki overtook him in a breathless moment, hitting the next visible Sound ninja so hard he flew into a tree. Temari was waiting to slice him into pieces with a wind blade attack from her iron-tipped fan. The corpse collapsed, jaw falling open grotesquely and intestines spilling out, lung tissue splattering the ground and even onto Temari's front.

Kankuro just pouted and mumbled something bitter about them being glory hogs. As Temari actually took the time to stick her tongue out at her brother (completely disregarding the flesh sticking soppily to her kimono), the Konoha nin leapt into the fray. Honestly, what kind of surprise attack was staggered entire seconds apart?

The brutally short altercation that followed served to prove that the ninja they were facing were…

"Total incompetents," Temari growled, kicking a corpse irritably. "Most of them are no-name genin and shit like that from various villages, missing nin that no one cared about. I don't know what the hell Sound does, but they've all been genetically altered and sent out to fight." She sneered and wiped a bit of loose hair off of her face. "I don't know where Sound is getting all of them, though. They just keep coming."

"Seems like a waste of expensive resources," Yamato mused, mildly interested (and somehow managing to look like a mild-mannered librarian even through the blood spatter on his face). "Those genetic alterations can't be cheap. Why wouldn't they bother to give them at least basic tactical training?"

The six-man squad they'd fought… well, it hadn't been much of a squad. They fought like overpowered Academy students, with no sense of strategy or teamwork. She could see why the border Chuunin teams might have problems with them, but with a few Jounin to oppose them they were hopelessly outmatched.

"Please tell me you have showers at this base of yours," Aiko interjected, wishing she'd thought to pull up the mask attached to her shirt. 'God, I hate getting blood on my lips.' It was so hard not to lick them when she kept feeling them stick and crackle.

The look on Kankuro's face wasn't encouraging. She narrowed her eyes at him.

 

Omake- one that was actually requested!

Inoichi hummed cheerily in the way that his wife hated, tugging his hair into the standard ponytail. Then he stopped and frowned at his wrist, realizing that his black rubber band wasn't where it should be. He looked around the floor, but didn't spot it.

"That's strange..."

He shrugged and re-secured his left hand's grip on the ponytail, striding down the hallway and elbowing open his daughter's door. "Ino, honey, can I borrow a hair tie?"

She looked up from her spot on her bed, laying on her back with a book held above her face and leveled him with a thoroughly unimpressed look. "Dad, you've got to stop borrowing my hair stuff. I want my mousse back. But fine." she rolled her eyes in that 'teen girl' way and turned her attention back to her book. "You can have the lavender one on the dresser."

"Thanks, sweetheart." He snatched up the tie in question and wrapped it around his hair twice with a look of intense concentration that he caught in the mirror. He turned his head from side to side to appreciate the perfect way the hair fell, before his mind caught up with the thoroughly uncharacteristic detail that his daughter was reading a real book unprompted. It had been months since he'd last seen her with anything other than those terrible magazines that he'd gotten sick of and banned. ('120 ways to please your man indeed,' he thought vindictively. Not for his baby girl!)

"So, got a new book?"

She grunted distractedly. "I borrowed it from Aiko. It's really good, dad. You should read that one there, with the green cover. I finished it already." She curled them up and lifted one knee to cross her legs, letting her ankle swing idly.

"Oh?" He let an eyebrow raise. It was hard to believe his baby had much in common with the Uzumaki girl for reading tastes. From what Ino had told him (repeatedly and loudly at the dinner table) back when they were in the academy together, she was a straight-laced brainiac with very little humor or personality, but a general good nature.

Curious as to what Ino might have found so interesting, he bent to pick up the first book off the short stack beside her bed, and immediately noticed something odd. "This is a drugstore diary..."

'Ino, you're not reading the poor girl's journals, are you?' He gave her a suspicious glance, but she appeared more absorbed than amused.

"Yeah, she wrote them," Ino said distractedly a second later, turning a page and blinking over at him briefly.

He stilled. That was odd. Skeptically, he glanced down at the pile by his daughter's bed. It wasn't impossible, per say, that a fourteen year old with a full-time job could have written six books, but it did seem unlikely that they were any good. Inoichi fought a very short war with his skepticism, but his innately nosy nature won out and he flipped open the green book.

A page in, he sat down hard on Ino's pink chair and really began to concentrate. That was how his wife found them. She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, you two. Breakfast is cold and you're both late for work."

Ino shot up like a rocket, suddenly alarmed. "Oh crap!" She cringed away from the scolding that curse prompted but dashed around her room shoving gear into her little pouch and tugging up her own hair with a brush and some bobby pins.

"Ino, leave that book." She gave him an odd look.

"Dad, I'm not done with it."

He gave her a stern look. "You can finish it later. Don't tell your little friend I borrowed these, okay?"

There was no normal fourteen year old that wrote like this. 'Maybe that's why she was given to Hatake,' he hypothesized years too late. 'Weird, socially disinclined geniuses should stick together and all that.' Tsunade didn't seem to know about this. He'd gone to her strategy meetings with Shikaku before, and the Hokage brought up Naruto more often than she probably realized. It had been almost impossible for her total lack of knowledge about his sister to come up.

'At the very least, it'll provide an interesting read while I wait outside her office,' he thought smugly. 'And an excuse for being late to the office.'


	42. Chapter 42

Temari hadn't been wrong about the sheer overwhelming numbers of Sound forces that harassed the border at all hours. With the addition of three mixed teams of Chuunin and Jounin from Mist (who seemed even less happy about the dry climate than the Konoha nin were) it was almost child's play to rebuff the assaults. Disposing of the corpses was almost a larger problem, since apparently the three governments involved were bickering over who should take possession of them and give medical analyses of whatever the hell Sound had done to them. The debate only intensified after the spectacularly creepy realization that Sound had somehow militarized some of the defeated Grass forces against the alliance.

They didn't respond to attempted reasoning or negotiating. The sounds of spectacularly un-ninja like roaring and shrieks took on a distinctly eerie tone when it became inescapably clear that they hadn't just run into one or two nut jobs. Sound had done something that forced their victims/allies (depending on your perspective) into unspeakable rage: They were big dumb brutes who just had to be pointed in the right direction.

That was almost worse than the bizarre abilities some of them displayed. Many were just hulking with grotesque muscles and red-eyed rage, but others used auditory genjutsu or jutsu like the three sound nin in the Chuunin exams had. Others spat acid, seemed immune to pain, or dislocated their joints to attempt to creep through small spaces for ambushes, mindlessly grinning and crawling forwards even when they'd nearly immobilized themselves.

Sand's border force had apparently been so depleted (both by the constant harassment and in the wake of the unsuccessful attack on Konoha) that they were able to give their allies a small barracks each. Konoha's teams were crammed in like sardines, at least for a few days until someone got the bright idea to disperse the genin teams along the line so that they didn't have such a large weak spot. The younger team stayed nearby, and the boys went west down the borderline to the next outpost. Since Aiko's team was part of the rapid response team, they ended up staying in the first outpost with the same Sand team they'd been working with, joined by a solely Chuunin Mist team. Their higher level teams ended up moving westward.

'It makes sense,' she mused, sharpening her sword the fourth morning, once everyone had been reassigned. 'Separating the supplementary forces both by rank and origin both ensures that there is no obvious weak point, and reduces the chance for collusion or information spread to Sound, unless of course the perpetrators are willing to risk their own people. Gaara isn't as bad at this game as Tsunade seems to think he is.' A hot wind blew her bangs into her eyes, casting curved shadows over her vision. She scowled and pursed her lips to blow them out of her face.

Her whetstone didn't pause, but she lifted her head to give Temari a glance across the clearing where they were sharing watch. 'Of course, the orders might not actually be coming from Gaara, per say,' she allowed. 'It might just be easier for the real tactical brains to claim authority from a Kage when giving distasteful  
orders like splitting up teams from their countrymen.'

Temari sighed, as if catching onto Aiko's thoughts about the dreary necessity of dealing with disgruntled Mist nin. (It was like a job requirement, apparently. They were all cranky, all the time).

"Something wrong?" The older girl looked at her as if she didn't want to answer, and then shrugged indolently.

"Waiting for them to come to us is getting really old, when we know that they have to be replenishing their forces somehow at this point." Irritably, she flung a silver shuriken into the dirt with a soft 'whush' sound, and then glared at it as if it was the source of her ill temper.

Left unsaid was a point that had already been discussed ad nauseam—Sound couldn't possibly hope to win any sort of tactical victory if they were really just throwing everyone they had at Wind Country. There had to be something they were missing. Was it an attempt to draw support away from another border to attack there? Were the seemingly unsuccessful attacks actually serving some sort of objective? Was the whole thing a smokescreen for some larger plan?

It was absolutely infuriating to sit around in what was either a death trap they could sense but couldn't see closing around them, or an indication that Sound was run by monkeys.

'For all we know, they could be,' she thought glumly. With Orochimaru dead, none of their intelligence operatives seemed to have any idea whatsoever as to who was calling the shots in Sound. Knowing who was making the decisions would have provided at least a little insight into what the hell they could be hoping to accomplish.

"It would be a lot more satisfying to go to the source," she agreed casually. Aiko heaved a sigh, swiveling her blade to check the edge. It was immaculate. That meant she couldn't really justify continuing to sharpen it just because she was bored. Regretfully, she slid it home in the sheath and put her kit away, sealing it into a scroll the size of her thumb when rolled up. Temari watched with visible interest, leaning over slightly.

"How do you do that?" she asked, jerking her head towards the scroll Aiko was tucking into her hip pouch.

She blinked and looked up from the pouch to the older girl. "What do you mean? Using it, or making it?" She wasn't entirely sure where to go with that question. Sealing for storage was one of the most basic functions of fuinjutsu, a base level skill that translated as the foundation for many of the more advanced skills. It was like being asked to explain how she wrote her name—she'd been taught how to do it such a long time ago that she didn't know how to explain it. Every answer she came up with sounded condescending or made her feel embarrassed to explain something so basic.

Temari scrunched up her nose. "You made that?" She scoffed and turned her face away. "I thought those had to be bought. Ours are reserved for Jounin. And I meant using one so much smaller than the material you're putting in it. That doesn't even make sense."

Aiko shrugged, not wanting to criticize that system or get into a long explanation. "Well, they are expensive to buy," she offered diplomatically. "And the size of the scroll is actually not correlated to the possible storage space. The scroll only needs to be large enough for the person making it to put their version of a storage seal on it."

"Aiko." She flinched, twisting to face Kakashi. He looked disinterested and distant, striding across the clearing. Slightly behind him, Yamato was all kitted out as if for a long mission. "We're on patrol."

"Right." It took only a moment to tighten the band keeping her sword on and fall in line behind them. They took off at a run. It felt like an odd patrol—checking between scrubland and trees that seldom broke fifteen feet in height meant that they stayed on the ground instead of using trees as a patrol route as she was accustomed. Besides that oddity, she didn't know the area at all, which made the trip nerve-wracking. But she tried not to let that tension show. No doubt Kakashi knew the map better than she did, and she wouldn't have said a damn thing even if he'd appeared to be taking them to Iron.

She did miss being able to talk to him. They'd used to banter, at least off duty if not while actually running missions. It was thoroughly bizarre not to be on speaking terms with the only person in the world she looked up to.

'Phrasing it that way either sounds pathetic or cynical, I'm not sure which.' No one could see her at the back of the group, so she allowed herself an ironic smile. What did having Kakashi as her role model mean about her? Was she just naïve, a bad judge of character?

Aiko knew perfectly well that he wasn't a perfect person. He'd let her down before, so it was hard to convince herself that it was even that she knew she could count on him. After all, he'd had a mental breakdown and abandoned his three surviving students without a word after Sakura died. That wasn't even a way to see her death as his fault—he wasn't the incompetent asshole who let Orochimaru into the village, after all, and no one could really expect a couple of prospective Chuunin to do anything against an S-class criminal.

Nor was Kakashi even stable. He lived in the past, the problem that had prompted the argument in the first place. But the failing manifested in other ways. It was probably a large part of why he was so emotionally distant, chronically late, and hard to connect with.

'But that's not all there is to him,' she argued with herself, irrationally upset by her own factual assessment. Kakashi was an excellent shinobi and a damn good person when he wasn't crippled by the weaknesses inherent in humanity. He had always cared about her and Naruto, even though he was incapable of giving them what they needed. She didn't hold his failure to take them in against him at all. He'd just lost everyone he'd let past the emotional barriers that were already nearly inescapable at the age of fourteen. It had probably been a struggle to patch himself together enough to function, let alone care for another person.

That train of thought resonated—that was why she admired him. He'd encountered crushing disappointments again and again and somehow managed to keep going. The facts that he was incredibly powerful and intelligent were attractive, of course, but they didn't hold a candle to his sheer determination to keep going.

She stopped cold, eyes wide.

Yamato and Kakashi snapped to attention, stopping in their run as well. "Uzumaki, what's wrong?" Her shishou's harsh voice managed to pierce the haze she was in.

Aiko swallowed, hard. And averted her eyes. "Nothing, sorry."

"Can we go on, then," he asked dryly. She nodded silently and fell back into formation, trying to pay more attention to her surroundings. But the realization that had just occurred to her was doing a spectacular job of tugging at her attention, as was the pounding of her heartbeat all the way up in her throat.

'Oh my god, I'm hot for teacher. That's why I hate it so much when he treats me like a living memorial.' As she ran, she amended that. 'Well, not entirely why. It's still annoying and not fair regardless.' She squirmed a little. 'Plus I feel like such an imposter, knowing that I'm not connected to Minato in the way he thinks I am. I mean, I am genetically, but mentally there was never even a chance I'd consider him my father.'

Aiko couldn't bear to look at her commander for the rest of the patrol. If she hadn't already been certain he was avoiding her, she would have done so religiously when they returned to the outpost after their turn on patrol.

'Doesn't matter, anyways,' she thought resentfully that night, staring up at the bunk above hers and trying to ignore Yamato's content snuffles from the bunk below. 'I'm trapped in a fourteen year old body and he'd never look at me anyway. Maybe I'm better off not reconciling with him. If he ever found out, he'd think I was sick. It's not like I can tell him I'm really an adult. He'll think I'm crazy or a fraud.' She turned over, pressing her forehead into her pillow and slipping her arms around the cool material. When she pressed her eyes shut, she could pretend that the next thought wasn't painful. 'Maybe I am sick and disgusting. He's tried to be like an older brother to me. When I get back to Konoha, I'll ask Tsunade to have the apprenticeship dissolved. She's wanted that forever anyways.'

 

Yamato had expected a better experience out of this mission.

He'd known that this was work, of course, and that it didn't have to be enjoyable. But the job wasn't a particularly hard one. It shouldn't have been so strained. Working with Kakashi-senpai had never been this painfully awkward before, and he couldn't exactly pinpoint what was going on.

Granted, he was perceptive enough to assume that whatever was putting senpai off his game was the same source of tension between senpai and Aiko. This was the first time he had ever seen them on bad terms. He hadn't even known they could argue. They had seemed far too close and alike in character. Besides, senpai just didn't do that—he never argued with subordinates. That gave them too much power. Aiko didn't seem happy about it, but she clearly had far too much influence over senpai's mood, at least.

Senpai had been acting distinctly unfriendly and distant to pretty much everyone, leaving Yamato in the unusual position of playing peacekeeper. It had become painfully obvious that Kakashi-senpai was far too distracted when he failed to notice the beginning of that ambush the first night they had arrived. Both Aiko and Kakashi were better sensors than Yamato. He didn't appreciate the failure in professionalism that they had both demonstrated.

'Whatever is going on is endangering the mission and Konoha's good reputation,' he noted darkly on the third day, when neither party had demonstrated any sign of attempting reconciliation. Things were getting ridiculous.

Aiko at least looked like she wanted to reconcile, despite her obvious tenseness and discomfort around their mission commander. She wasn't nearly as subtle as she thought she was. Her posture stiffened whenever Kakashi entered a room, she turned her body towards his, and she couldn't help but glance at him whenever he turned away from her.

Yamato rather thought that hyperawareness was probably why Kakashi-senpai was spending so much time outside of the barracks. He had been running on progressively less sleep, because it had become obvious that Aiko was too fidgety to fall asleep with him in the room. That probably kept him up, in turn.

'They're both acting like children.' Yamato tapped his fingers on his thigh irritably, watching Aiko mull blankly over the horrid food options at lunch one day as if the specific variety of slop that she chose was somehow going to be crucially important. 'At least Aiko has the excuse of being not much older than a child.'

Still, there was no way in hell he was going to get in between the two of them. They both had tempers, sharp tongues, and held grudges. Sure, they were just circling each other and growling now, but the moment he grabbed at one, they would probably do more than bark. ANBU Cat, of all people, knew better than to get in a dogfight.

 

The first day at the border outpost:

Kakashi wished he could be Hound right now. It would be so much easier to slip into a mission mindset and avoid thinking the godawful things that were running through his head. But he just couldn't. Hound wasn't capable of dealing with anything remotely diplomatic or co-operational. Hound hunted.

So he was Kakashi instead. Being Kakashi was hard. It hurt, and he'd always dealt with hurt by internalizing it or running away from it. He couldn't internalize this. It kept coming back up to the surface and troubling him. The things his student had said hurt whenever he looked at her, but seeing her so obviously hurting made him want to fix her hurts as he had done for years. He'd avoid seeing Aiko if he could, but being assigned to a three-person team with her made that impossible.

The worst part was that he wasn't certain if he wanted to hate her for shattering his world view or for being right.

Suspecting that he had been in the wrong was a miserable sensation. He closed his eyes, not even caring that the water in the shower was ice-cold. Re-evaluating his actions was even more unpleasant.

'The Sandaime warned me years ago,' he thought with bleak amusement. 'When I told him the twins deserved to be taught because Minato would have wanted it and I owed him. He told me not to confuse them, and I did anyways. I'm so stupid.'

He spent the second day in a haze of self-recriminations, failure, and mindless duty, knowing by his reflexive self-hatred he had done something wrong but not what or why. Eventually, his mind turned to analysis of precisely why what Aiko had said had been so terrible.

When Aiko had completely rejected Minato (rejected Minato-sensei, who had loved his unborn twins so much it hurt) his first reaction was to push her away. He'd never thought her capable of that. If she denied an association with sensei, who was she? Did he even know her?

That thought was the one that had pulled at his mind and made him wonder if she hadn't been completely right. It hadn't been that long ago that he had been musing that she was his favorite subordinate, had it? If it had solely been because she was the last living piece of sensei, wouldn't Naruto have been his favorite?

In personality, Aiko was very little like either of her parents. In appearance, she was dead center which usually failed to evoke either of them. By contrast, Naruto wore Minato's face with Kushina's enormous (and often false to hide pain or awkwardness) smiles. But Naruto wasn't his favorite subordinate. He preferred working with Aiko.

That meant that he liked her on her own merits, he concluded logically as he laid in bed the second night and tried to sleep. His godawful mind picked back up on the same train of thought as soon as he opened his eye in the morning.

Why was that so difficult to concede? He didn't like admitting that he wasn't just fond of her because she was sensei's child. It seemed like a betrayal of sensei's memory.

Kakashi wished he weren't a genius, or at least that he wasn't so intimately familiar with his own failings. Now that he wasn't purposefully blind to what was going on, it was easy for him to parse apart.

'I've been using Aiko as a crutch and not treating her as her own person. I thought of her as sensei's kid, not a human being with an individual identity. Of course that was hurtful to her. Does she have another adult in her life?'

He'd never noticed or even heard of one. That thought was troubling. Now that he'd noticed the oddity, he couldn't stop wondering what Aiko had meant when she'd claimed that she had raised Naruto. She was the same age. Surely the Sandaime had found some sort of guardian for them. Kakashi had been emotionally and mentally unable to acknowledge their presence for years, burying himself in ANBU duties. But surely he would have been contacted if the Sandaime needed help with the twins, right?

He winced, remembering how irrational he had been at that point in his life. No. The Sandaime wouldn't have asked him. Kakashi had been dangerously unstable when the twins were young, and if the third Hokage hadn't been an uncommonly kind and forgiving man (a dangerously sentimental man, an honest part of his mind added) then he wouldn't have been given the chance to teach the twins. …Especially since he hadn't wanted to have anything to do with them at the time.

The worry and curiosity about the twins' childhood tugged at his attention and made him want to look into the matter immediately just to assuage the bad feeling he had. But that was impossible, so the sick feeling became just one of many that cycled through his gut while he rehashed the different things that troubled him. This would have been easier if he'd been better with emotions, he knew.

A month ago, Kakashi would have said that Aiko was much more emotionally stable than he was. Now he was less certain. That outburst had been the product of years of internalized distress and pressure. He knew what it looked like when a person erupted from stress. The Rasengan probably wasn't even the real problem, it was just a trigger and everything else had overflowed.

What she had said about her parents reeked conspicuously of abandonment issues. In a clinical sense, Kakashi could assess that her reaction was not abnormal. Orphans generally followed one of two extremes— they longed for parents and family, or they completely rejected the idea that they needed them as a defense mechanism. After all, it was hard to miss something you had never had. An emotional issue that you could talk yourself into ignoring could be suppressed and added to the list of things bothering you that you never intended to deal with. It was a strategy Kakashi often utilized and he could appreciate its use.

He just couldn't come to terms with anyone thinking that about Minato-sensei. Sensei had practically raised him, after all, even though he hadn't thought he needed it at the time. Sensei had been an excellent father figure… to him.

Kakashi winced. 'How would Aiko know that?' he asked himself, rhetorically. Of course she wouldn't. 'It doesn't matter that he did his best to help me. That didn't affect the twins at all, and no one ever talked to them about what kind of people their parents are. To her, they're just names and old photographs in public records.'

And that hurt. It really, really hurt. Silently he wondered if Naruto felt the same way. It might break him if Naruto did.

But now that he'd analyzed the situation, he couldn't figure out a way to justify continuing to be upset with Aiko. It wasn't logical. She was reacting to her lived experiences. Besides, she hadn't seemed completely hostile to her parents as family and people. She just didn't see them as parents. There was some logic behind that. If he or someone else actually shared something real about Minato and Kushina, she might come to appreciate them more.

And if she didn't, they could just never have that conversation again. They'd managed to go four years without it, so clearly it wasn't perpetually on her mind.

'It was probably on her mind whenever I looked at her and thought of Sensei,' Kakashi acknowledged ruefully in the safety of his own mind. That meant that she was much better at reading him that he'd thought… which could only mean that he'd already relaxed around her enough to let her in.

He didn't see any way around it: she was one of his precious people. He had had other students, but only one apprentice. At times she was… a friend, perhaps, and not just someone he taught on a distant and professional basis? Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were precious people too, of course. He had never been entrusted with such delicate lives before, and he had taken the duty seriously. But it hadn't been good enough. He hadn't been vigilant enough to keep Sakura safe, and he had already failed both of the boys and driven them away to better teachers.

'I can't fail the only one I have left,' he realized on the third morning at the outpost. There was nothing for it. He was going to have to reconcile with Aiko.

But that was easier said than done. He was an intelligent man, but not an emotionally fluent man. Did he just come out and say he was sorry for what he'd said? In his experience, words were dangerous. He could accidentally start the whole thing up again. She might be able to distance herself and understand what he was trying to do and not any unintentional insults…

'Then again, she might not,' he concluded when he saw her talking comfortably with the girl from Sand outside. That wasn't the problem so much as the way that she looked when she saw him. It was almost… frightened. Like a rabbit.

Did she think he was going to start an argument? A little hurt, he maintained as much distance as he could from his apprentice to keep from initiating another altercation until he had a plan of action. But she was acting so strangely. At one point, she completely stopped running in the middle of the patrol.

It didn't make any sense. Aiko had never been easily distracted on a mission. That was Naruto, not Aiko.

'Perhaps he died and she's channeling his spirit,' he joked blackly. It wasn't funny even to him. Something was wrong, and he didn't know how to fix it. He couldn't fix it with words. What else was there?

The answer came to him on the return trip to the outpost. He sent his subordinates to the barracks and made his brief report –uneventful, no intruders or new signs of travel spotted- and then asked if there was a room he could use. There was, and they wouldn't mind a bit of water damage. It was an empty storage area anyways, he couldn't do it much damage.

He rather thought that he could, but wisely didn't share that information. There was no chance he would teach Aiko the real chidori. Lightning was extremely dangerous to experiment with, and she had struggled immensely to learn even the basic attacks. That had scuppered some of his earlier plans for her training.

'Chidori was too dangerous anyway,' he noted, scratching out calculations on a bit of scrap paper. Lightning was a sharp, inflexible element. Much like how fire was hard to conjure without fuel to feed it and earth didn't want to move at all, his chakra nature had inherent qualities. One of which was the tendency to move in a straight or predictably jagged line at very high speeds. He had used that second characteristic to make Chidori very dangerous—it pushed his normal running speeds even further. Despite that benefit, the first quality made Chidori very dangerous to control. Being unable to alter trajectory once you had acquired a target was an enormous detractor from an attack.

But he was certain that particular component of Chidori was tied to its chakra nature, not the shape transformation. It was just a short spear, after all. It should be controllable. So far as flexibility went, water was one of lightning's opposites. It tended to follow certain patterns, but it could be pushed in any direction with a bit of force. ('And Aiko certainly has no problems with strategically applying force', he noted cynically, a bit surprised as just how well she had shattered him with a few well-placed words. She really was a smart girl).

As far as he could tell, there was no reason a water-natured spear transformation should have to adhere to a fixed trajectory. Of course, having the theory didn't tell him how to perform the attack. It had been years since he had designed a move himself.

Kakashi hypothesized that once he had altered his chakra nature (a necessary first step for him, but one that Aiko could skip) and figured out what handsign combination would optimally prepare his coils, all he would have to do was manifest the same shape transformation that he knew well. That should be easy to teach to Aiko, with her experience with chakra chains and strings. A spear wasn't that far off. Integrating the sharp, multi-faceted edges would be the challenge.

At least he had something constructive to work towards now. All would be well. She had always forgiven him in past for transgressions both mundane – like making her wait on him for training— and arguably serious ones – like leaving her alone in Suna to run into hostile nin while he gathered information when she was ten, and even in the arguably worse time when he'd fled back into ANBU after Sakura died. This would be no different.


	43. Chapter 43

"Aiko-senpai? How much longer are we going to be here?" Emiko looked up from scratching graffiti onto the wall with a shuriken's edge. She had been diligently crafting responses to what looked to be slurs written the last time Sand and Leaf were on the outs.

Aiko silently resolved not to have that girl inside her home, and shrugged. It had been a little over two weeks since they had first arrived. Apparently, the glamour of doing Chuunin level work and representing their country had worn off.

"Until things are resolved or until Konoha sends us relief, I suppose." She didn't really expect Tsunade would do that, however. Not unless one of them died. But the fib was a little more reassuring, if not by much. Besides, it could happen. If the situation became noticeably worse and Tsunade wanted to extract the fragile genin, they might be switched out for a higher level team.

It wasn't likely, however. Konoha needed every high level nin that they could use right now, which was probably why two elites like Yamato and Kakashi had been sent to counterbalance the rest of the team. It was probably easier to lose the labor of two high level nin for an extended period of time (when not in outright warfare, anyway) than it would have been to lose nine chuunin or low level jounin.

Ken groaned, dragging his pillow up to cover his face. "You're just depressing me now."

"Sorry, not sorry." Aiko gave an enormous stretch that lifted most of her torso off the mattress, letting her fingertips brush the wall, and then collapsed back down with a huff.

Being off duty was almost more boring than being on duty when they were so far away from anything to do. She could write or play around with fuinjutsu, Aiko supposed, but she didn't really feel like it. That was all she ever did in her free time anymore.

'It's a bad time for me to be investigating new hobbies,' she mocked herself lightly. Yamato had been amusing himself by constructing elaborate additions to the outpost. Sand seemed a bit bemused by his architectural enthusiasm, but gamely allowed him all the parapets he wanted to make them for free. It was becoming quite lovely, actually.

Kakashi must have found something to occupy his time as well, as she never saw him when they weren't on duty. Somehow, he was never eating when she was, and always out after she went to bed. Occasionally she saw him sleeping when she got up, but that was rare and not really all that interesting of a sight. (Even if he did snuggle his pillow in a ridiculously adorable way).

She had no idea what Akira was up to, frankly, but she suspected it had something to do with a cute fifteen year old from Mist. Aiko wished her the best of luck. He didn't seem interested in the slightest.

But the rest of them seemed to spend most of their downtime moping in the barracks and occasionally grouching about the lack of hot water.

'I could take a nap,' she mused, feeling as lazy as a cat. 'Or find someone who would want a spar. How hard could that be?' At least one other person had to be bored enough to go for the idea.

The second idea held more appeal, so she hauled her sorry carcass off the bed and lightly jumped to the floor. Aiko paused for a moment to roll her neck, and then began gathering up the cross-band that went around her torso to hold her sword and the low-hanging belt for her little black hip pack. Emiko sat up and watched her curiously on the other side of the room.

"Where are you going? I thought you were off duty until tomorrow."

Aiko nodded absently, tightening her straps. "I am. I was thinking about finding someone who'd want a spar."

The younger girl snorted. "Good luck with that. I am staying right here, thank you very much."

She tried not to roll her eyes. It wasn't like she was really all that desperate to spar a twelve year old genin, even if that genin happened to be a taijutsu fighter like Emiko.

The door swung shut behind her with a terrible creaking sound (the one that made Aiko wonder if they had been placed in that barracks so Sand knew when they were coming and leaving) and midday heat slapped her in the face.

"Ow." She cringed, putting a hand up to ward off the sun while her eyes adjusted, black spots dancing in her vision. After a few moments, she was able to see again and leisurely set off at a walk towards the enclosed grounds on the Wind side of the border that she'd seen used for sparring.

Luck was on her side. Someone was actually running through katas when she arrived. She knew who it was when Kankuro pushed back his cat-eared hood, letting it tousle his mildly sweaty hair on the way.

Aiko took a moment to wonder at the eccentricities of ninja. Why did people act as if a little mask like hers and Kakashi's was hilariously weird when there were lunatics wandering around with cat-ears on their mission gear?

"Hey, Kankuro-san. Are you up for a spar?"

Of course, asking questions like that was not a diplomatic way to begin a conversation when asking for a favor, so she tabled the commentary on his perhaps overly daring mission gear for another time.

He looked mildly surprised. Whether it was at being addressed or that she knew his name, she wasn't sure.

"You sure?" He gave a smug glance at Crow, sitting propped up against the stone wall. "I doubt you've ever fought anyone like me before."

'Jeeze, how cocky.' Aiko intentionally kept her face still. "I think I'll manage," she drawled.

She thought she could win, but it would be stupid to brag and then be unable to come through. Kankuro was a Chuunin as well, after all. He had been Chuunin level long before the genin exams, much like how Temari was really a low-level Jounin fighter. Doubtlessly, they'd been held back because Gaara needed a team and he was just barely sentimental enough to not kill them.

Instead of making pre-fight boasts she might not be able to follow through on, Aiko scuffed her left boot against the ground. "Any fight restrictions?"

Kankuro smirked. "No permanent injuries, I don't want the hassle of finding a medical nin to mop you up."

Aiko snorted, amused. "I suppose I don't want to have to be mopped up," she agreed easily. He huffed and fell into an easy taijutsu stance, one hand held up. Wordlessly, she moved to engage, opening with a sweeping kick to gauge his speed. He momentarily faulted and barely managed to jump up and over, twisting his torso to land a glancing backhand against her collarbone. She managed to sway backwards to avoid most of the blow, but the senbon hidden between his knuckles left three long scratches from the base of her neck to just below her collarbone in the small area unprotected by her open flak jacket.

The move didn't surprise her. He was a puppet master, and puppet masters played with hidden weaponry and poisons. But they had agreed not to cause harm requiring a medic nin, so the move had probably been reflexive rather than an attempt to poison her.

She used the momentum from her lean backwards to fold entirely in half, placing her hands on the ground behind her. It took an instant to shift her center of mass to her hands and bend her legs, snapping them out in to a double kick that caught Kankuro in the gut and sent him stumbling backwards with a wheeze.

'I have to keep him on the run,' she decided. 'Now that he knows he can't overwhelm me easily with taijutsu, he'll move for his safety blanket. That puppet of his.' Her gaze flickered to the left to check that he had yet to use chakra strings to move it.

It was exactly where it had been before, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. It did give her an idea, however.

Kankuro wasn't the only one who could use chakra strings. Undoubtedly, he was a hundred times better with it than she was, but she would only need to restrict his movements a little to throw him off his game. She lifted her right palm and shot a single string to loosely connect to Crow's forehead. The extra string pooled on the floor. Normally it would be intelligent to secure it tightly, but she didn't want to risk moving it before Kankuro tried to.

In the instant where she was solely balanced on her left palm, she gave a light push to allow the upward momentum from her kick to carry her upwards and bending forwards to re-orient in the air. By the time she turned her attention back to her opponent, he had regained his balance and flung out one hand.

She quirked a smile. She'd been just in time. Crow came sweeping in from the side, bristling with silver weaponry. He was on track to get in between her and Kankuro just instants before she could hit the ground again and take advantage of his wide-open, unguarded stance.

It was crude. It would probably make a puppet expert like Kankuro flinch if he'd not been too distracted to see it. But Aiko yanked on her lone thread with her right hand to yank on Crow, halting his flight with a stuttering movement.

The look on Kankuro's face was great when she used her left to suckerpunch him in the gut so hard that he fell backwards onto his ass and flipped over, at one point managing to have his feet flat on the ground at the same time as he was on his upper back. He lost control of Crow, who flopped and skidded across the ground with a horrible clatter of metal odds and ends and a small snapping sound that was probably some hidden mechanism.

When he sat up and blinked up at her, she lost it in a fit of giggles. "Sorry," she managed, pushing her hand of her face and quirking an eyebrow. "You just looked so surprised."

He scowled for a moment, but good-naturedly rolled his eyes and pushed himself to his feet. "That was adorably bad, seriously. Come on, what kind of move was that?"

"One that surprised you," she shot back, completely unashamed of the crudity of her attack. "Come on, didn't you think I knew you'd try to use Crow?"

Kankuro made a face at her and ambled over to check his puppet. "Yare, yare, laugh it up. I would have kicked your ass with him."

"Very possible," she agreed politely. "Hence why I didn't let you use him. I'm sorry if he's damaged, though."

She wandered a little closer, crossing her arms and slipping her hands under the Chuunin vest loosely hanging open over her long gray top. Curiously, she quirked her head sideways and watched Kankuro fidget with his downed puppet. He made a face, but didn't look too upset. "It's fine. Minor damage and some things knocked out of place. I can fix it tonight."

"That's good." She shuffled her feet in place a little. The fight had been a nice break from the monotony, but it had been short enough that she was already coming down from the adrenaline surge.  
"So… Thanks for the spar. I've been getting restless."

He snorted. "We've noticed. What's up with you and your team? You look like you're about to break into a three-way fight at any moment."

'Even the Sand team noticed?'

They barely saw each other when not actively working. Well, that was mildly embarrassing. They should at least be able to put up a united front for such a short time.

Aiko just shrugged. "Don't worry, we won't." The look he gave her implied that he thought she was full of shit for 'subtly' avoiding his real question. But he didn't pry again, wrapping up Crow and slinging the puppet over his back.

He looked at her instantly when she stiffened, focus distant.

"What's wrong?"

Aiko tugged her hair into a low-hanging, messy ponytail. "I think we have incoming on the other side." She jerked her head in the direction of the border. "Way larger than usual. It feels like we might have a real fight on our hands, for once."

He grinned. "Excellent."

"I'll go get my team. Yours is nearby, right?"

It turned out not to be necessary. Temari came plummeting from one of Yamato's beautiful towers on her three-moon fan, teeth bared and looking excited. Baki shunshined behind them, hands shoved casually in his pockets.

Aiko looked around, half-expecting her team to come swooping out of nowhere. She was almost disappointed when they didn't show up.

"Well, that's embarrassing," she muttered. Kankuro let out a little chuckle.

Yamato flipped down off the barracks roof, landing in a crouch. An instant later, Kakashi ambled out the door of the mess hall, reading a book.

Temari looked at the cover and twitched. It was the iconic orange one, with a man chasing a busty brunette.

Aiko was torn between two reactions. She wanted to be irritated with her team leader for not being as cool as the Sand team when even Yamato put in the effort, but she also really liked Kakashi's sheer nonchalant dickery.

She settled for silence, barely turning when the chakra signatures of the Mist team stationed a few miles down the line became agitated and vibrant, as if they were preparing for their own fight.

"Aiko. Is it just this outpost?"

Biting her lip, she shook her head. "No, at least the next one also seems to be aware of incoming."

Yamato gave her a put-out expression. "What, is that all you can tell?"

"I'm not Karin," she snarked. "It's not like you can do any better, fairy princess."

The sand nin stood silent, appalled. Kakashi just sighed, rubbing at his face with a palm. "Moving on."

Barracks opened, and the outpost buildings began to bristle with the border Chuunin. Baki sighed. "Too many cooks will ruin the soup," he rumbled.

Temari rolled her eyes, exchanging a put-open glance with Kankuro.

'I don't like the clichés either,' Aiko sighed. But Baki had a point. The Chuunin were a last resort measure, the last line of defense for Wind country borders. They shouldn't be involved in this sort of fight. It was their responsibility to engage the enemy as far out as they could, leaving only those who slipped through them to the Chuunin.

Silently, they leapt as a group, covering ground rapidly. They met with the converging Sound forces only half a mile out.

It was actually mildly surprising. This seemed more like an actual trained force, not the ragtag experiments that had been thrown at them.

What's worse, she was relatively certain that she recognized some of them. She had never seen them before in her life, but the man with extra arms and the lithe boy with bone-white hair were rather distinctive. Aiko didn't remember their names, but she was relatively certain they had been some of Orochimaru's elite forces.

Kakashi must have similarly recognized their importance, because he engaged the spidery man and wordlessly gestured Yamato to take the white-haired boy. She bristled, a shiver going up her spine when Yamato's wood was met with bone sluicing through flesh, twisting into the shape of a sickle weapon.

'That's so creepy.'

He'd split his own flesh, jaggedly tearing through skin, meat, and veins, without seeming to even flinch.

Then she was distracted by her own fight, slipping out her blade to meet a woman wielding two long kunai with a metallic clang. She'd been on the other side of that weapon match-up enough to know that it was very possible for a skilled user to out-maneuver the user of the larger blade, so she didn't get cocky.

As expected, her opponent's first move captured the blade and twisted it away from her body. That was when Aiko would have jabbed in to gut, so she had been waiting to kick out at the other woman, impacting the forearm that slipped in with a crack.

The Sound kunoichi grimaced with a flinch, reflexively pulling her left arm back into her torso. That protected her gut from the kick that followed it back, but now that the inner kunai had been removed, Aiko was free to slash in with her blade, opening her opponent up from the meaty part of her shoulder downwards across her torso into her breast. She cried out horribly, leaping backwards, but Aiko pressed forwards and twisted her sword arm so that the angle allowed her to jab forwards and impale the other kunoichi completely, ending with the hilt resting against the lower part of the ribcage.

Even without looking, Aiko knew that she'd severed the nerves on the right side of the other girl's spine. Nothing short of immediate medical attention from Tsunade of the Sannin could save that girl's ninja career.

The point became moot in the next moment when she gently pried the right kunai from a slackening grip and used it to open the Sound kunoichi's throat. She ignored the pleading look in large, teary brown eyes and soundlessly gaping mouth, unceremoniously propping her foot against the older girl to help her extract her sword. Uncaring, Aiko lifted her head in search of the next opponent as soon as the Sound kunoichi had fallen backwards to drown in her own blood.

Then she noted the oddity that no one else seemed to have seen yet. 'Aren't those all three Sound nin?'

There weren't just the six fights (with three Konoha nin and three Suna nin) that there should have been. There was one extra fight happening in between a whirling Sound-nin with hair almost as light at the bone-freak's and anyone who got within arm's reach, primarily two other male nin.

'The enemy of my enemy is my friend,' she shrugged, leaping forward to take one of the nin harassing the light-haired boy. He had to be about her age, from the brief glimpses she got of him.

And he was a water type, she realized when a glancing blow from a bulky man with a chokuto drew a splash of clear liquid instead of blood. That was the classic sign of a water clone. In any moment now, it would collapse and he would come charging in from another direction.

But that never happened, in the long seconds while she traveled towards the second nin. Both of them were still focused on the water clone… which must have meant they knew something she didn't, like why it never collapsed and instead bent forwards to meet the incoming blow with a fierce grin. It sliced through his form entirely, but didn't cause any harm or dispel.

Aiko shivered, thoroughly creeped out by the persistent weirdness of Sound nin, even if he didn't seem to be a Sound nin. She shoved her own sword through the back of the second nin who had been circling behind the light-haired boy. Blood spatter coated her front, hot and wet and plastering her top indecently to her chest and stomach where it got in between her open hanging jacket.

The boy he'd been about to hit gave a rough laugh, turning to grin wildly at her with sharp teeth. "Thanks, dollface."

She let her jaw drop and stared for an instant. "What?"

There was a sudden surge of killing intent on the other side of the clearing, but she didn't turn to see what was going on. It was probably better not to know.

"Heads-up!"

Aiko didn't need the warning. She was already moving to dodge the blow aimed at the base of her neck, twisting her body around. Effortlessly, she let the sword lead her movements and force her new foe back. Her free hand dug into her kunai holster and bristled with metal that she flung in a tight fan pattern.

She'd expected him to dodge, to be frank. He probably would have if her new friend hadn't cut the tendons at the back of his knees with his own blade, laughing all the while.

With a shrug, she scanned the clearing for more enemies, but things seemed to be winding down. Yamato was swinging around to assist Kakashi, the bone-user slumped dead on the ground. Baki and Temari were taking on another nin, keeping him away from Kankuro who appeared to be bleeding heavily from a gut wound.

And her new friend was creeping up beside her and giving her a sharp-toothed smile. She leaned away, brows furrowed at his strangeness.

"Thanks," she tried politely. 'What the fuck is up with him?'

"Aiko, what the hell are you doing?" Kakashi flickered in front of her, blocking her view of the strange boy.

"I don't think he was with them," she pointed out. "He turned on them before Sound was even losing, so he's not just a cowardly turncoat. We know they're somehow subverting people, so is it really implausible that we'd run into someone who didn't want to be here?"

Besides, something about this boy really tugged at her memory. He was lanky, lightly muscled and very tall for his build, and his hair almost looked lavender where the sunlight caught it.

Kakashi did not seem best pleased, but at least he didn't kill the kid on the spot. He was probably thinking more along the lines of getting information out of them than rewarding a temporary comrade in arms, but Aiko was fine with that as well.

 

Omake

This one definitely did not happen. You're probably all intelligent enough to figure that out, but I thought it needed to be said. It was inspired by what was probably the best thing that has ever been mentioned in a review in an otherwise serious analysis of character personality and behavior. (I hope that person doesn't mind me quoting them, but it was just the Best Thing).

"Aiko's problem is that she's been so used to keeping secrets for so long, her default course of action is to keep everything to herself and work around other people instead of with them. Can't exactly blame her since being reincarnated with some pretty touchy dirt on everyone from Danzo to the leader of Akatsuki does warrant a certain degree of discreetness, but her propensity for dissembling important information causes her to screw up pretty badly sometime. […] Funnily enough Itachi is in some ways the ideal person to talk some sense into her, since he already tortured the most sensitive secrets out of her and thus she can speak more honestly with him than with anyone else. Unfortunately though I doubt he'll be dropping by to discuss her love life and hots for teacher anytime soon, and in any case his own emotional maladjustments don't make him an ideal therapist. He has an unusual manner of expressing love and affection, as Sasuke would no doubt attest."

Relationship Talk with Itachi

"You seem like an emotionally stable human being," Aiko said to the first person she saw who wasn't out with a friend or otherwise preoccupied. "In comparison to the people I work with, at least. Can I talk to you about my relationship issues? I just need a friendly ear."

Itachi very much doubted her assessment of character, but he didn't drop the henge he had been using to eat in public without being bothered by pesky people who wanted to bring him to Great Justice, For Youth's Sake. (That was a surprisingly common occurrence when he was with Kisame.) But today he was alone, without a seven-foot tall shark man to draw the attention of casual observers away or to him (it depended on who was observing, civilian or nin).

He shifted awkwardly on his stool, considering escaping into the crowd. Surely she could locate a stranger who would be more amenable to hearing about her problems? Or she could just suppress them and wait until they emerged as a chemically treatable mental illness. That was the traditional Uchiha way, and it had worked well for them.

"Thanks," she sighed, grabbing a stool of her own and scooting far too close to him. He could practically feel the body heat from her side when she leaned up to the counter and began solemnly picking through the bowl of mixed fruit he had been eating.

'I like the watermelon pieces,' he thought a bit resentfully as the last of it disappeared into her face. She didn't even appear to be enjoying it. She was just mindlessly stealing his fruit.

"So, I just realized last week that part of why things have been so weird between myself and my shishou is that I have a massive crush on him." The girl craned her head towards the shopkeep, gesturing for him to come over.

Itachi did not particularly care about the fruit bandit's love life.

"That's awful, right?" She barreled forwards without even waiting for a reaction. "So I was thinking about going to the Hokage and having our apprenticeship disbanded so I don't make things really weird between us. But then he went and invented a jutsu just for me as an apology after we had a massive fight about parents—you know how that is, I bet."

He shrunk away, not sure how to respond to that particular accusation. Had his henge fallen? Covertly, he checked his reflection in a spoon. No, he was still disguised as a fourteen year old version of himself with different coloring. So no, she didn't know and this was just an unfortunate, random encounter. The Hokage just let people like this roam the streets?

"Hey, can we get some dango over here?"

Suddenly, Itachi felt a little better about tolerating the intrusion into his personal space and downtime.

"So, I was thinking that it might actually hurt his feelings if I went over his head instead of talking to him, but I don't know how to start that conversation with him."

Bluntly, Itachi surmised. She would start it bluntly, and possibly blindside him entirely in the process.

"I feel like it's really wrong and shameful for me to be attracted to him. It's not like it's a physical thing!" She paused, and then amended. "Well, not primarily. He is really fit, after all."

This conversation wasn't happening. It wasn't happening.

"Have you ever seen a guy walk away and just go, whoa, that is some fine ass?"

He had not.

She idly played with the glass of water in front of her, sliding it across the counter. Then she looked up at him and snorted, fanning at her face with a hand. "I'm sorry, too blunt? I guess I forgot I wasn't talking to Karin. All my friends are gigantic perverts. I'll keep ass talk to an absolute minimum, but sometimes you just gotta put it out there into the conversational sphere." He wished he hadn't seen the far too explicit circular hand movement she used at the moment to emphasize her words.

Itachi closed his eyes momentarily and felt for the closest object about his mass to perform the body switch technique with. Then he reconsidered and spread his range of attention, looking for the absolute most distant object he could utilize. His attention was fifteen blocks away inside a shoe store with a large mannequin when he reflexively caught the hand that went to poke him in the shoulder, losing his hold on the technique in the process.

"Are you okay? You looked like you were going to pass out. You should really eat more, you know. You're thin enough, you shouldn't be leaving unfinished meals around."

He had to stare, first at her and then at his empty fruit bowl.

'No, not empty,' he amended. She had left the kiwi.

Itachi hated kiwi.

"I'm sorry I made this all about me, you must think I'm a conversation hog. What about you? Any cute guys in your life?"

"No."

She made a sympathetic expression. "Really? You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen!"

That was the first time he had heard that specific compliment. He actually opened his mouth slightly, thought better of it, and then closed it again. Dango on the way or not, this conversation was over.

Itachi stood, wordlessly extracted the money to pay for his meal, and gently set it on the counter. Then he walked away.

Aiko frowned. "Well, that was rude." She absently popped a piece of fruit in her mouth, then spat it back into the bowl and made a face. "Gross, kiwi."

'Who says hanging out with S-class loonies is a bad idea?' she mused to herself when the dango finally came, idly popping one off the stick into her mouth whole. 'I'm two for two with successful snack interactions.'

That had been a terrible henge. Honestly, Itachi should be embarrassed. Some people were just so clueless.


	44. Chapter 44

"I don't like this," Temari muttered. The boy who had introduced himself as Suigetsu –'just Suigetsu, sweet cheeks,'- merely gave her a hard stare and a vaguely threateningly toothy smile, with just the right hint of 'unhinged' behind it. She didn't appear impressed in the slightest, although Aiko mentally gave the try 7 out of 10. It was hard to threaten someone who'd lived with Gaara for an extended period of time, she supposed.

"I'm not a fan either," Yamato sighed, keeping an eye on their new friend. Aiko rather suspected that the adults were thinking of him more along the lines of a 'prisoner' than anything, but it hadn't been explicitly stated.

Suigetsu had definitely caught onto the hostility, but he didn't seem frightened or upset by it. Perhaps the right word was 'amused.'

Baki grunted. "I'd join you, but we need to get this one to the medics." He jerked his head at Kankuro, who was woozily doing his best to pay attention and not entirely succeeding. Still, he wasn't in any immediate danger. "If Suigetsu isn't full of it, this is a situation that needs to be addressed."

He was undoubtedly right, and the Konoha nin knew it. Without Suigetsu's cheerful tattle-tailing, they might have thought that what was going on was more Sand's problem than Konoha's. They would have been wrong.

"How do we know we can trust this person?" Temari glared pointedly at the interloper. "He could be loyal to Orochimaru."

"First of all, he's dead," Suigetsu drawled in a tone that implied she was an idiot. He glanced at his jagged, filthy nails casually and made a slight face as if making a note to clean them. "Besides, why would I hold loyalty to that fucker? He basically kidnapped me and performed experiments on me". Suigetsu paused. "And by basically, I mean that he did exactly that thing I just said." The nin visibly dismissed her to take a long drink from the water bottle he had begged off of Yamato.

Temari flushed pink, scowling as she turned her face away.

Kakashi's gaze flickered silently over the assembled nin, assessing the general opinion. He didn't comment on whatever he saw, but his stance shifted as if he'd made a decision. "Yamato, Aiko, we need to go investigate this. Suigetsu-san, thank you for offering to escort us. We'll take you up on that."

Suigetsu rolled his eyes at how obviously unenthusiastic Kakashi was, but didn't comment.

"Baki, would it be possible for you to send the Mist reinforcement team our way when you get back? Of course, we'll understand if the border can't spare them."

It was probably a good thing that Suigetsu had wandered behind the group. Kankuro and Aiko were the only ones angled to see his flinch, and Kankuro almost certainly wasn't paying attention.

Before that, Suigetsu hadn't given any indication to contradict his story that he was a Mist loyalist who had been kidnapped by Orochimaru. He'd left out his specific definition of loyalist and that he'd already defected from the last administration before he had been kidnapped. But his dismay at the implication he might be seeing Mist forces was telling.

She closed her eyes, suspicions confirmed. 'I thought as much. This is the guy that Sasuke was supposed to end up taking with him after he killed Orochimaru.' Aiko was also certain that he'd been talking about the last member of that group. But it just seemed so farcical, so unlikely.

'Then again, it can't really be anyone else that Kabuto is using to infect the people he has kidnapped,' she sighed.

The confirmation that Kabuto was the one in charge of Sound was one that bothered her. Everyone else was taking it in stride, but they didn't know much about Kabuto's character. They didn't even seem to know that he was a former Konoha nin. It was frustrating that she couldn't share her suspicions.

From what she knew of him, Kabuto was a very logical individual, and not one with a strong grudge against Konoha. 'Well, not against it as a whole, anyway,' she allowed. Her memory was a bit fuzzy, but she thought that he had a grudge against Danzo in specific.

But from what Suigetsu had said, Kabuto had completely cracked. They had been correct that they were seeing various low-level missing nin infected with the 'rage' virus (for lack of a better descriptive term), but in the weeks since they had left Konoha, he had turned to raids on border towns in Fire Country.

On one hand, that nicely explained why Tsunade was too busy to send them replacements. On the other, it meant that the Sand alliance forces had been killing Fire Country civilians. That wasn't going to please the Daimyo.

The choice of engaging in the risk of kidnapping across Fire's borders implied that Kabuto was trying to cause a split between Konoha and the Fire Country ruling elite. (or someone else is trying to cause trouble, Aiko insisted mentally, still not sold on the idea that it was Kabuto. Perhaps someone was impersonating him? Then again, why, if Sound was ruled by the strongest nin there?)

As much as the kidnappings still directly concerned the Sand border guards who had to kill the constant irritants, their job was primarily to protect the border. It was obviously frustrating to Temari, who would clearly rather go after the source of the problem than wait for Kabuto to make more low-level kamikaze foot soldiers. But they couldn't quite justify leaving their post, either. That frustration was probably why Kakashi thought it was worth the trouble of asking if the Konoha team could get reinforcements. It would depend on if Mist was amenable, but Aiko rather thought they would be. They didn't seem fond of the climate or long deployment. It had been about a month in Wind country, and no one liked it.

"I'll ask them," Baki allowed. He turned and bodily picked up Kankuro, ignoring his involuntary whimper. Temari gritted her teeth, gave Suigetsu one final glare, and spoke up.

"Wait, Baki-sensei. I think that we should send a representative with them. This isn't just Konoha's problem." She shifted her hands to her hips combatively, as if ready for a long argument.

Baki merely shrugged. "You want to go with them? Fine, then."

"We'll take good care of her," Kakashi drawled, probably knowing that Baki would have to pressure the Mist team to accept the mission if he was worried about one of his students.

He merely grunted, inclining his head at the group. "Be careful, Temari." He fixed Suigetsu with a stern look. "If you're playing us for fools, I will find you."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Suigetsu muttered testily.

The older man gave a little sneer, and then shook his head. "Let's get you to the nice nurse, Kankuro-chan."

Temari and Suigetsu sniggered in unison, and then stopped, appalled. While they exchanged poisonous looks, Kakashi exhaled loudly and tugged a worn map out of his hip pouch. "Suigetsu-san, where exactly did you say this hideout was?"

Aiko drifted over to the other girl's side, assuming they would probably be assigned to stick together. Kakashi didn't seem to like or trust Suigetsu much, so he would probably either watch him personally or assign Yamato to it so he could be on the lookout for a trap. No doubt Temari could take care of herself, but it didn't hurt to be extra careful with their diplomatic cushion.

Even when on the outs with him, her analysis of Kakashi's thoughts seemed to be dead on. Yamato clung to Suigetsu like a burr, who looked a bit put-out at his new accessory.

'Someone should remember to tell Tsunade she was wrong about Rock letting Sound past their borders,' she thought at one point in their long sprint. Apparently Orochimaru had set up an underground hideout in Vegetable that crossed the border from Grass. That acquisition made a bit more sense now. If they were going to be sending large numbers through Grass, it would just be easier to get rid of any border patrol that might put up resistance. No doubt it had also helped to provide a confusing smoke screen to obscure what was really going on by making other villages think Sound had just suddenly gone nuts.

'Not that their current course of action isn't suicidally crazy', she allowed. Aiko just couldn't believe that Kabuto was really running the show. It didn't make sense. Someone had impersonated him. 'Or he could have motivations I'm not aware of,' her treacherous mind pointed out. 'Something could have changed, or I could just be wrong entirely. Don't be so damn cocky.'

There was something undignified about mentally scolding herself, so she dropped that train of thought and concentrated on cataloguing the changing scenery. The scrubland had transformed into a smattering of scraggly deciduous trees capable of surviving the still-dry (by her Konoha-raised standards, anyway) heat. They were a bit droopy, but they were still decently tall trees, so she chose to see them as an improvement.

"That's where we stopped for the night," Suigetsu wheezed, looking a bit strained. Kakashi barely gave the place a glance.

"I know."

"Apparently we're not stopping," the Mist-nin breathed sardonically.

Aiko resisted the urge to snort. They'd only been running for a few hours. Was he really so out of shape?

'Then again, he was kept in a glass containment tube for at least a year,' her conscience pointed out in the interest of fairness. 'It's reasonably likely that his aerobic abilities went downhill.'

She snatched a glance at his form to her left, knowing that her conclusion was logical but having a hard time accepting it nonetheless. His swordsmanship certainly hadn't suffered. He was much better than she was, and she was passable. As if he'd heard the grudging compliment, Suigetsu's head turned to give her another one of his strange, toothy smirks. Aiko managed an awkward half-smile in return before lifting her gaze back forwards, ignoring the amused sound he made.

'He's so weird, though.'

Aiko was now relatively certain that he was flirting with her, possibly because it ticked off Temari. She seemed to think he was an absolute pig and untrustworthy to boot. He seemed to think Temari was a gigantic bitch and got a kick out of provoking her.

'Suigetsu doesn't have great taste,' she snickered at that thought. 'Temari is smoking hot.'

Aiko would never make the counterproductive claim that she was unattractive. By her standards at least, she was pretty damn adorable. (She might be a little over-muscled by civilian standards, she was fair enough to acknowledge). But seventeen-year-old Temari was hot in a way that a fourteen year old just couldn't compare to, not even an early bloomer.

His strange behavior would just have to remain a mystery, because she didn't care enough to ask.

"If we keep at this pace, they'll know we're here within half an hour," Suigetsu wheezed some time later, appearing decidedly wilted.

"Hn." Kakashi stopped the group, gifting the suffering Mist nin with a condescending look. "Ten minute break, then we head out again." With a flash of sunlight off a cloud of conjured leaves, he was gone.

'Probably to scout ahead,' Aiko realized dully. He didn't trust Suigetsu. She didn't feel any worry, however. Kakashi would never lead his team into more danger than they could handle.

Everyone left in that clearing knew the break was for Suigetsu's sake. Temari didn't seem to appreciate it, but Yamato was nonchalant, dropping down onto the yellowed grass bonelessly. Aiko cringed a little at just how terrible their guide looked. That was an unreasonable rate of deterioration in physical condition… unless it was related to his kekkai genkai, she realized. The condition was much less arid than it had been when they'd started running, but the air had nothing on Mist or even Konoha for dampness. He was probably evaporating and too damn stubborn to say a thing after it had become clear that the general attitude of the group was against him.

Aiko unhooked her water pouch and wordlessly tossed it to Suigetsu, not making eye contact.

There was no point in letting his condition deteriorate further. They still needed him.

She could practically feel his prideful glower, but in a moment she heard him gulping it down desperately. She tried not to wince at the thought that she wouldn't have any sanitized water left for her trip back into the desert. If things got desperate, she could burn chakra to produce more. It would just be a bad decision before entering a fight with unknown entities to waste even a little on something so mundane as a drink when she wasn't desperate.

'No point in standing around like a lump.' Aiko imitated Yamato by flopping down into the grass, but she let her legs go akimbo and leaned over into a stretch instead of letting her muscles cool down too much. She almost wished she hadn't, or that she had been wearing real pants instead of stretchy black shorts. The skin exposed between her boots and shorts itched terribly wherever it touched the grass. It was hard not to scowl. 'How can grass even be this dry? This whole place is a tinderbox.'

She glared at Yamato for good measure, irritated that he didn't even seem to notice the roughness that was bothering her. He just looked confused and mildly concussed, which was sort of his default expression when he could be bothered to have one at all.

'What a jerk,' she thought uncharitably, 'with his fancy pants and his regulation turtleneck.' She scrunched up her nose. 'I'm Yamato,' she mocked silently in an artificially high pitch she would struggle to recreate vocally, 'I always do exactly what the handbook tells me to do, like wear the winter uniform in a desert because it was the cool season when I left Konoha. I like pants, long walks on the beach, and kissing Kakashi's butt.'

Kakashi's butt was dangerous mental territory, so she flopped over irritably and pushed herself up into a bridge position, trying to just concentrate on getting a good stretch.

"That wasn't ten minutes," Suigetsu complained from somewhere above her. Aiko startled a little, having not sensed Kakashi return. She flipped upright and rolled her neck, blinking at her serious-looking commander.

"Suigetsu, how many people are usually at this location?"

He shrugged indolently. "Man, I was kept in a cage until those loonies thought they could drug me and point me at Sand. How the hell would I know? I only saw a couple of the science freaks when I left, but I know they wouldn't have released the freak the original virus came from." He gave a low laugh. "You'd know if they had, trust me."

Kakashi relaxed slightly, tenseness leaving his shoulders. "So you wouldn't know anything about any in-fighting? Any information on the vulnerabilities of patient zero?" When Suigetsu shook his head, he sighed and rolled his neck. "Alright then. Let's move out."

Yamato got to his feet, Temari pushed off from the tree she'd been leaning against, and Suigetsu sighed before tossing back Aiko's water pouch. Kakashi's eye narrowed, but he silently waited a few moments for her to re-secure it before starting off again at a punishing pace.

It became violently clear why he had asked Suigetsu about in-fighting. Aiko gagged, reflexively covering her mouth.

She wasn't an especially squeamish person. But what had been done to the pink-haired corpse strung up between two buildings didn't bear thinking about. It might not have been so bad, if she didn't have the observation skills and physiological knowledge to spot that the girl had been conscious the entire time.

'That's point one towards Kabuto being here,' she noted vaguely. 'Not just any medic could keep a person alive through torture like that.'

By the patterns of blood spatter and obvious signs of struggle, the girl had definitely been alive at least until the muscles in her legs were peeled off.

"Death to traitors," Yamato read, voice dry. "It's good to know about their philosophy towards turncoats."

Suigetsu looked decidedly green and suddenly unhappy about being there. "I remember that bitch," he muttered. He gave a mirthless, barking laugh. "Guess she didn't like the change in management much." He shuffled uncomfortably. "Let's just get this over with," he muttered, starting towards one of the two buildings. "Entrance is through there."

"I think I'll go first," Kakashi drawled, giving the teen a warning look about trying to lead them into an unsecured area. It was amazing that he'd thought anyone would allow that. "Yamato and Suigetsu, behind me. Aiko, take up the back."

Temari huffed at being left out as if there was no question that she would follow implicit orders, but obediently fell in behind Yamato, who was close enough to Suigetsu to probably make him nervous. The building above ground appeared perfectly normal—like someone's house in the woods. Suigetsu jerked his head at a wall, but Kakashi didn't need the notice and had already gracefully kicked in the false door.

"Or you could have opened it," Suigetsu muttered resentfully. "But whatever. That's cool too." He silenced when Kakashi turned to level him with a hard stare, cowed despite his bravado.

'As he should be,' Aiko thought with amusement as the group began a long trek down, down, down into dampness on stone steps. 'Kakashi is a much better fighter than Suigetsu. I wouldn't provoke him either.'

"Ho-ly crap."

When she finally got to see where they had emerged, Aiko had to silently agree with Yamato. It was a gigantic laboratory.

The room was also spectacularly creepy. She stifled the grimace that wanted to paint her features—the walls along one side were lined with empty cells, some of which stank of dried blood and other things. There were tables with restraints, large sets of spinning displays of chemicals, skeletons on racks, strange things in jars, and several large glass containers down the center of the area. As they passed, Suigetsu irritably shattered one with a fist, baring his teeth at it.

In another situation, they might have actually killed him for making so much noise. No one cared, however, because the lab was almost deserted. At the sound, the one chakra signature that Aiko detected became agitated, fluttering like a butterfly's wings.

"S-stay back!" a man's voice ordered, sounding surprisingly strong through the stutter. "Just leave me alone, you monsters!"

As their footsteps echoed across the floor, none of them daring to speak, the voice turned to a hopeless sob. "Haven't you people done enough?"

Crumpled on the floor, one of the largest men Aiko had ever seen in her life glared up at them through a shock of red hair and chains when she finally got a peek between Kakashi and Yamato's broad shoulders. Then Yamato shifted, and her sight was obscured again. Nervously, she glanced around the room, feeling anxious even though she couldn't sense another presence. Something just felt wrong.

"You're not with them," the man who could only be Juugo breathed. "A-are you here to help me?"

Pity laced Kakashi's voice when he responded. "We came to kill you, if you're the person who Sound has been using to drug Fire Country civilians and force us to fight them."

The pained gasp was enough answer. Aiko gritted her teeth and took a deep, slow breath through her nostrils as the sound of shifting chains filled the air. But she couldn't sense or smell anything out of the ordinary.

'Not that I necessarily would, with all the blood and chemicals in the air,' she thought darkly. This place was foul.

"Kill me." She startled, wishing she could see over her taller companions. Suddenly she wondered why Kakashi had put her at the back when even Temari had a good four inches on her. "Kill me," Juugo pleaded. "Just make this stop before they come back."

"Before who comes back?" Yamato asked with a kind tone.

It didn't do any good, as the mere thought seemed to send Juugo into tears. "I don't know who they are," he breathed through shudders. Aiko backed up slightly, concentrating on the wide-open room. Something just wasn't right. She didn't know what she was reacting to, but something just wasn't right.

The sound of Kakashi sounding gentler than she'd ever heard, so sweet and low it broke her heart, managed to pierce her unease. "Close your eyes."

Involuntarily Aiko obeyed, wincing a little at the squelching sound that followed and the thud of what was almost certainly a head hitting the ground. Furious with herself for the moment of weakness, she blinked her eyes rapidly and clenched her jaw.

'I've never heard a man beg for death,' her mind whispered. 'What could possibly do that to a person?'

She tabled the thought, refusing to indulge in morbid speculation. 'This place would give anyone nightmares.'

"Well, that's that." Suigetsu clapped his hands, sounding unduly cheerful. "Let's blow this shithole, hmm?" He strode out of the group and headed directly towards a set of cupboards along the ceiling, carelessly pulling things down and letting them fall with a clatter. Temari pursed her lips together until they turned white, watching him while Kakashi burnt up any genetic material so that Sound couldn't salvage any of it.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Suigetsu grunted, finally pulling out a sword. He tugged the rusty, crappy one on his back off lazily and let it fall with a clatter. "I knew they kept you, baby," he crooned to the new sword, stroking it before slipping it carefully into his sheath. Then he flashed Temari with a toothy grin. "Just getting my things back, love."

The Suna kunoichi rolled her eyes, looking disgusted that he'd referred to her so familiarly. Aiko bit at her lip and blinked furiously, fighting the sting in her eyes from the thick smoke of the burning corpse. She'd always hated doing that indoors and having to breathe it in.

"I think that we should destroy this place," Kakashi mused, scanning it in a detached fashion. "We don't know when they're coming back or what they'll be able to salvage, even with Juugo unavailable."

Suigetsu made a rude sound. "That's a nice euphemism, old man. I think the word you're looking for is dead," he taunted. "You wasted a sick kid in his prison cell. Even I've never done that."

Suddenly, Aiko wanted to put a kunai through his brain stem. She resisted the urge, somewhat unnerved by her own fit of temper. She didn't usually resort to violence out of anger.

Kakashi ignored him anyway, striding across the room. "Everyone, out. I'll light it when you're at the top of the stairs."

Aiko furrowed her brow, not liking the idea of letting Kakashi linger in a room full of nasty chemicals when he was about to start a fire. His sense of smell was far stronger than hers. She lingered a little, giving him an uncertain look. Shouldn't someone else do that? Strong smells could actually paralyze a person.

"Go."

She went, trying not to stare too much at Suigetsu's ass directly in front of her. Now wasn't the time. Even if he did wiggle it humorously, as if in an attempt to defuse the tension.

Everyone else had filed out when she felt Kakashi flying up the stairs like a bat out of hell, forcing her to scramble to get clear of the building as it began to leak heavy clouds of colored smoke and a foul, acrid smell. She crumpled her nose and tried not to breathe it in.

"Oh, fuck," Suigetsu said in a small voice.

'Ah,' she realized. 'Looks like I was wrong. That's definitely Kabuto.'

He didn't seem best pleased, a fact she gathered less from his blank expression and more from the way that he immediately leapt at Kakashi with a blazing handful of medical chakra.

"Shishou!" She couldn't help but yelp, moving to intercept Kabuto. But she wasn't fast enough, lunging after Kabuto had passed her.

Luckily, Kakashi was far faster.

"Temari, Aiko, get the other one!"

She blinked, not having noticed the second shinobi in the confusion of Kabuto's appearance.

'It's one of Kabuto's teammates from Konoha,' she realized. 'Either the one who steals chakra, or the man who bends his bones. Is the last one here somewhere too?'

Aiko took a moment to wish Yamato and Kakashi good luck, before flickering in to cover Temari's back. The older girl had whipped open her fan to display all three moons and forced a barrage of cutting wind at the man before flipping it shut and sprinting in to hit him while he was still lifting his arms to protect his face.

And… Suigetsu was running away. "So long, bitches!" he called out merrily.

"Good riddance, trash!" Temari spat.

She didn't have time to be irritated by his cowardice, so Aiko bit her tongue and darted in with a kunai in each hand to slash at their opponent's grasping hands. 'The chakra-thief, I bet,' she concluded. "Temari, don't let him touch you!" Though a bit confused, the older girl leapt back and flung a spray of senbon to keep the man at bay.

"May I assume there's a reason?"

"Unless you can end it in one blow, I think he has one of those special abilities. He's way too eager to touch you." By the tensing in what little was visible of the man's face, Aiko was sure she was right. 'Either that or he's a pervert.'

"So that means weaponry," Temari concluded easily, producing a twin pair of wickedly curved daggers from what appeared to be thin air. "Very well then." She bared her teeth in a mockery of a smile. "Hold still, I'm afraid I'm not skilled enough with these to be gentle if you struggle."

Aiko sniggered, circling around with her own sword drawn as the man pulled out a weapon of his own, a long blade she didn't recognize. Two-on-one was a tactical advantage, but dangerous for them as well, especially since they had so little experience working with each other. Temari seemed to have similar thoughts, swiping in for quick, glancing blows in a war of attrition instead of engaging constantly. Aiko harassed him from behind, keeping him on the move. It was a way to ensure that they would almost certainly wear him down and win, but it was infuriatingly slow.

"It's like he knows all your moves!"

Especially when she heard Yamato's unnerved exclamation. She had to force herself to focus on her own fight, clenching her jaw and making a nasty cut into her opponent's left leg. He was definitely slowing down now, struggling to block the hits from two directions as the girls circled like sharks.

"He's under a genjutsu!" Kakashi grunted. Aiko heard scuffling sounds. "Yamato, your right!"

'Well, that doesn't sound good.' She managed to exchange a glance with Temari, who looked similarly eager to end the fight. The older girl could see the men's fight from her position, and she didn't look terribly relaxed about whatever was happening.

'It's probably out of our league,' Aiko realized, irritated. She was good, but she wasn't nearly as good as Yamato, much less Kakashi. If the boys were struggling against Kabuto, she'd be dead weight, and she didn't think Temari was much better.

The man they had pinned made a desperate break between the two, eyes wild. Temari swooped down like a goddamn hawk and blocked his way. Aiko saw her chance as if in slow motion while he lifted his glittering blade to deflect Temari's leading arm, darting in to hamstring him. He howled and turned, managing only to take his sight off of Temari as she dug one of her blades into his temple and twisted viciously. He dropped like a rock. The Sand kunoichi bent to tug out her weapon, but Aiko's attention was already on the other fight.

She had been right earlier. It wasn't a fight she should interfere in. Kabuto was fast, and resilient. He ducked off even Yamato's hard blows, regenerating as he made his own attacks. It was damn creepy, and she didn't have the sheer hitting power needed to take him down in one hit so he couldn't heal himself.

Nervously, she circled the trio and tried to think of something. She wanted to say that she was certain her team would win, but Kabuto was preternaturally hard to hit with the kind of move that would keep him down. Aiko was certain that a good chidori to the head would to the trick, but that would only work if the fucker would stay still.

"You got anything good for paralysis?" Temari muttered in her ear.

Aiko shook her head, irritated with herself. "Nothing that'll work fast enough or just on him," she muttered lowly. She didn't see a way to poison Kabuto without getting Yamato, who wasn't immune to her blend. That could get him killed if it set in on him before it did on Kabuto.

Of course, she was wrong, but Aiko rather thought she could be forgiven for not coming to the conclusion that Kakashi apparently did. She'd only had the contract for a short time, after all.

"Summoning no jutsu!" Kakashi practically roared, slamming his palm into the ground. An entire pack flooded out of the smoke, leaping and biting to immobilize Kabuto.

Only one had to get teeth in him to slow him down for the others to begin to catch on, weighing him down on his arms and legs, with little Pakkun viciously clamped around an ankle. They couldn't hold him long, of course, but it was long enough for Yamato to clap his hands together and shoot a winding trunk that wrapped around his legs. Then it was all over, with the sound of a thousand shrieking birds and blinding light that hurt her teeth somehow. Aiko blinked and suddenly Kakashi was fist-deep in the smoking crater where Kabuto's chest had been.

That was when the Mist team touched down.

It was a rather grotesque tableau. Aiko almost had to laugh at the look on Kakashi's face—a mixture of mild surprise and guilt, as if he'd been caught with a hand in the cookie jar.

Temari leaned on her fan and fixed them with an unpleasant stare. "What, did you stop for coffee?" The Mist team exchanged a sheepish look.

"Took you long enough," Yamato panted, resting his palms on his thighs. "I think we're done."

 

"Uchiha Shishui is the only person I've ever known with that kind of hypnosis ability," Kakashi muttered lowly to Yamato as they waited to depart. His kohai grimaced, looking pained.

"Doesn't make much sense, does it?"

He felt a muscle in his jaw twitch, shaking his head shortly in lieu of a reply. Something had been very wrong about that fight with the white-haired medic, but he wasn't willing to share his suspicions with their foreign allies. He had never seen anything other than Sharingan induced hypnosis that could so totally control a human being from a distance and for an extended period of time. There wasn't really a good outcome to that conversation, especially if he was wrong and caused trouble for nothing.

Uchiha Shishui was very much dead. There wasn't even a chance that his corpse had been missed in the confusion of the massacre clean-up, as he had died first days before at Uchiha Itachi's hands. The body had been interred in the family gravesite. He was sure of it.

Obito's eye burnt in his socket, as if in reminder than another Sharingan eye could have developed a similar ability, or could be wielded by an outsider. 'I know, old friend,' he soothed. 'I think I should check on Shishui's eyes first, before I go looking to see if we could have missed an Uchiha somewhere.'

The obvious conclusion was Uchiha Itachi, of course. He was the only rogue that Konoha was aware of.

But Kakashi had worked with the boy in ANBU for an extended period of time, and he knew from what little had been begrudgingly shared with him that the Sharingan eye of a particular user tended to only enhance that shinobi's specialty. He had never seen Itachi perform anything like this.

'I would feel a lot better if I could rule out the eyes I already know of,' he sighed, despite the fact that such a thing would leave him without a clear course of action.

The door to the barracks squealed open, revealing their tiny kunoichi member flipping her hair over a shoulder. He idly noted that it was getting impractically long and seemed to bother her a lot.

'While I'm asking to dig up Shishui, I can also ask Tsunade to look into the oddity of Aiko's claim that she raised Naruto,' he decided. It would be one less thing to worry about, at least. They set off for home at a much faster pace than they'd arrived at, not burdened by genin. The six they'd traveled with were being left to supplement the border, at least for a while longer.

He was torn between wishing he'd had a chance to speak to Aiko in private and relieved that he hadn't had to start an awkward conversation yet. At least he was relatively certain that she would be amenable to an apology now, so he felt much less on edge when she landed just a little too close to him as they barreled through the trees that meant they were close to home. His apprentice had abandoned her veneer of hostility during most of the mission a few days prior, not even trying to hide her concern over such little things as poisonous fumes from a burning laboratory. Honestly, as if he couldn't hold his breath for a few minutes.

'It's adorable when she tries to protect me.' Kakashi let his lips quirk into a smile under his mask. For all that Aiko seemed to have little sense of self-preservation, her heartrate jumped through the roof whenever he did anything mildly dangerous.

He was willing to acknowledge on the basis of her skills and her relative maturity that she was a young adult and not a child anymore, but the girl had years to go until she would be in the right to try stunts like that. At least she generally had the sense to stay back, even when she couldn't resist the urge to hover.

In a strange way, it was kind of nice knowing that someone cared, even if it was so ineffectual. No one had tried to protect him for a long time.

"Home sweet home," Yamato breathed when the great gates finally came into view through the treetops. Aiko gave an undignified grunt, obviously intent on her creature comforts. She hadn't really been trying to hide her longing for a real bed and a hot bath while they had been gone.

Amused despite himself, Kakashi let his lips curl into a smile under his protective mask that kept his thoughts secret. His subordinates were a bit soft, but he liked them anyways.


	45. Chapter 45

'Now would be an excellent time for a drink.' Tsunade rubbed at her temples with her fingertips, struggling to stay focused on the ongoing report through her massive migraine. She was the best medic in the world, but there wasn't a damn thing she could do about psychosomatic pain originating from stress. In her experience, only alcohol and gambling were really adequate distractions. It was most unfortunate, because getting hammered and running off to a casino was probably the second-worst possible response to this report, second only to "declare war on all other Elemental Countries and cut out the middleman."

Hatake paused, clearly wondering if he should inquire. She waved him on. 'May as well get this all over in one go.'

The actual de-briefing had been stressful, but not unmanageable. The bad news that Sound had been puppets for some mysterious agenda had been mitigated by the solution to the mystery of what the hell had been happening on the north border, the fact that Wind's border troubles should be dying down, and the knowledge that at least the specific threat used to subvert civilians and missing nin alike had been defanged.

'Though I would have liked to examine the patient,' she mused regretfully when that part was covered. She'd never even heard of such a thing. No wonder it had caught Orochimaru's attention. If she had been there, she would have brought the patient back alive if at all possible. It was hard to blame Hatake, however. He might very well have lost the patient when they were attacked outside.

But then Hatake had gestured for his team to file out and proceeded to unload the terrifying evidence that they had somehow missed either a rogue Uchiha or a bloodline grave-robber. He was right to tell her in private—if their allies found out that Konoha was inadvertently responsible for empowering the person who had been causing all their problems, relations would be more than a bit strained. They might not be able to keep this fiasco secret forever, but hopefully they would at least be able to have a better answer than, "I don't know, but it's probably our fault, sorry about all those deaths and such."

Tsunade put 'Ask Sasuke for permission to dig up his cousin's corpse' on her long list of unpleasant things to do that day, trying her best not to hate Hatake for bringing such bad news.

When he finally stopped, she breathed a sigh of relief… until she realized that he hadn't stopped. He was pausing and trying to phrase something. She outright groaned. "What the hell else is there?" Tsunade demanded petulantly.

As if to ward off her temper, he gave her one of those ridiculous eye-smiles and ruffled his hair sheepishly. "Oh, it's nothing important. I was just wondering who raised the twins. I was sort of in a ten-year dark spot, and I'm afraid I never looked in on them after they left the orphanage."

Tsunade blinked once. Then twice.

'Oh. Well, that's much less terrible. Mildly interesting, as well.'

"I don't know," she said thoughtfully, trying to remember if Naruto had ever mentioned a guardian. Then she shrugged, dismissing the thought. It wasn't that important. "But I do know how you could find out. I would suggest reading through the old notes the Sandaime kept. They're like a diary of everything that happened." She rolled her eyes. "So you're going to have to wade through far too many mentions of breakfast and temporary office staff you've never met."

He furrowed his brow at her. "Why not just ask the Sandaime?"

The rueful smile slipped off her face. "You just can't," she said brusquely.

Hatake was very still. "Hokage-sama?"

Tsunade sighed, gaze darting around the room. She'd already dismissed the ANBU watchers, so they were alone. And she did trust the brat… 'Besides, someone else should know.'

So she shared the burden. "I'm afraid that if you ask him about the Uzumaki twins' childhood, he'll fumble around for a bit before deciding you're asking about little Kushina-chan and tell you that he's been tutoring her lately in fuinjutsu," she breathed out, blinking hard to keep her eyes dry.

"Ah." It was toneless, but somehow conveyed a whole range of horror and grief.

It was nearly inconceivable to think of the Sandaime, the man praised as a genius and god among shinobi, as old and frail. Even when the evidence had been in front of their faces for over a decade, Tsunade herself had still tended to see him as her powerful-but-not-infallible teacher with whom she'd had too many disagreements as she grew into an adult. It wouldn't be as hard of a blow on Hatake, but it was doubtless hard to swallow.

"So, those notes?"

Tsunade jerked her head towards the closed door keeping the muffling seals active. "Open that, would you?" When he obeyed, she raised her voice. "Keiko-san, would you bring me the Sandaime's notes from…" She paused to do mental calculations. "fourteen years ago up until four years ago?"

"Really?" Came the incredulous response, before they heard a chair lightly scrape back as the woman moved to obey. "It'll be a minute."

Kakashi waited patiently, up until he heard the secretary call out to someone else in the anteroom. "Honey, could I get some help with all these boxes?"

That, combined with the Hokage's mischievous grin, gave him a rather sinking feeling.

"Here you go," Keiko huffed, her form nearly hidden behind two stacked boxes in her arms. She shuffled in and laboriously set them down on the table.

Kakashi cringed. That had to be thirty notebooks per box.

That was when his own little apprentice trotted in with another three boxes and easily set them down beside the others, giving them a curious glance before bowing and backing out of the office. 'Why is she still here?'

"Thanks, dear," Keiko muttered, moving much less quickly and shutting the door behind her.

Tsunade felt rather like the cat that got the canary, flicking her tail in satisfaction. It was nice to see someone else buried in paperwork for once.

"I'll be wanting those back soon," she warned idly. "We need them surprisingly often." Of course, after such a long mission, his whole team had a month furlough unless they requested work, so he'd have plenty of time to read.

The man in front of her looked surprisingly morose, but still determined. "Thank you, Hokage-sama."

'He sounded more sincere earlier,' she cackled. Depressed or not, he industriously fluttered in and out of her office, using shunshin to drop boxes off in his apartment and returning for the rest while she conferred with Keiko on her schedule for the day. There were only two more appointments, thankfully. One of them was Gai's team (and that was always a fucking headache) and the other, well…

She groaned when she realized that Hatake's brat had been lingering in the anteroom because she wanted to talk to her as well. What could that possibly be about? With her luck, doubtlessly the chit would inform her that she'd accidentally managed to reinvent Edo Tensai, or point out some other fabulous 'lost' technique that Jiraiya had apparently been hoarding for a decade but was too damn sentimental to use or share.

She was still mildly irritated by that one. Grieving was one thing, but carrying around a mini-shrine to your dead loved ones was going too far.

Tsunade wasn't always the best at spotting irony.

With the full expectation that she was going to have to endure something phenomenally stupid or troublesome, Tsunade made the girl wait longer for her appointment while Sasuke was dragged out of his office and coerced into bringing hot drinks. He gave her a particularly reproachful look, but complied nonetheless. He was probably suffering from the lack of caffeine as well. Her younger apprentice worked hours as long as hers. She was reminded that he knew the girl waiting by Keiko when he wordlessly brought five drinks instead of the usual four without even asking what Aiko took. (Hot chocolate with marshmallows, apparently. What a lightweight.)

Tsunade took a few moments to detox and let the caffeine set in before she stretched out on her couch. "Come in," she sighed without bothering to call the ANBU anxiously lingering outside her office back in. He'd just have to cope. She didn't like having people lurking around at all goddamn hours of the day anyway. "Shut the door behind you."

ANBU squirrel gave her what she thought was probably a reproachful look from behind the ceramic mask that made the expression useless as the door swung shut. Tsunade resisted the urge to giggle.

ANBU were just so adorable when they were crabby.

"Ah…" She really looked the girl over for the first time as Aiko fidgeted, and was a little appalled.

Tsunade had never seen Aiko looking anything less than put together. The girl walked a wide spectrum from 'garish' (orange skirts? What the hell kind of killer-for-hire wore orange skirts?) to 'painfully dull' with her clothes and presentation, but she was always clean, tidy, and professional in posture.

The fourteen year old in front of her had apparently been nervously picking at her hair even in the hour since Tsunade had last had her in the office and pulled out her braid in favor of messy pigtails. She looked tired, travel-worn, stressed, and a bit too thin. Her hands were shaking slightly around her cocoa.

Tsunade easily recognized the signs of a tough mission. That made sense—it had been a long one, and had a lot of combat in unfavorable conditions, and the girl was inexperienced in extended assignments. She gave serious thought to sending Aiko away for a hot bath and a nap, but refrained. This might be important, after all.

Because she wasn't a total monster, she bent her legs to make room and nodded at the end of the couch. "Just take a seat." Aiko obeyed, carefully setting her drink to the side as she did so.

Inwardly she winced. Right, she should probably sound a little gentler.

"What's this about, Aiko?"

'I overcorrected, I sound like I'm trying to coax a wild animal in for a hug,' she assessed grumpily. Luckily, Aiko demonstrated the textbook trait of awkward geniuses and didn't even seem to notice the oddity. Good old reliable social failures.

Aiko opened her mouth, closed it, and took a steadying breath. "I think I should end my apprenticeship."

Tsunade nodded soothingly, and took a deep breath. Then she registered the words and started hacking on nothing, surprised right out of words.

Unfortunately, the girl seemed to take that as permission to break down into tears. They were at least the quiet, dignified sort of tears instead of wailing and sobbing, but she still definitely had not been given leave to do that. Tsunade waved her hands. "Stop that! Stop that right now."

Aiko gave an obedient nod and a little squeak, rubbing at her face. "I'm sorry, I'm just a little stressed."

'A little?' she thought incredulously. Best to get to the bottom of this before she had to mop up a teenager in her office.

"Why the hell do you want that done, Aiko? I thought you two were inseparable. Have you talked to Hatake?"

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. The girl's face screwed up a little, and she blinked furiously in an attempt to calm down. "N-no."

"Well, what the hell's the problem? Did you argue?"

Aiko shook her head and shrugged. Tsunade was mildly stumped, until the girl elaborated, "Well, yes, but that's not the problem."

The Hokage groaned. "Girl, stop dancing around it. You know that I don't want to go through the excess trouble for no reason, so convince me."

'Does this have something to do with Hatake's sudden interest in Aiko's family?' A possible connection sparked.

Showing remarkable difficulty with the words, the teenager said in a very small voice, "I have an inappropriate crush on him and it's making it hard to work."

…

…

"What," Tsunade said flatly.

…

…

The tears started up again. Tsunade had to do her best not to fall into hysterical giggles, making an urgent grab for her coffee to occupy her mouth for a moment so she could hide her smile.

'I suppose even genius teenagers are still teens,' she sniggered. 'Poor baby. Imagine having Hatake as your guide through puberty.'

Suddenly, she actually felt a little sorry for the girl in front of her. The occasional stirrings of maternal sentiment that so far only Shizune and Naruto had ever sparked stirred in her chest, and she impulsively opened her arms. "Come here, sweetheart."

The girl looked so baffled and off-kilter by the offer that Tsunade leaned over and bodily gathered her up into a hug, patting her back soothingly. Not coincidentally, the girl's new position on her chest left her unable to see Tsunade's inappropriately amused smile. This was serious business for a fourteen year old, after all. But it was funny.

Aiko was far from the first girl to have a crush on her sensei. Tsunade would be willing to bet that Yamanaka girl would be making moon eyes at Asuma-kun when her hormones kicked in and she first realized that boys her own age weren't yet as developed as she was. It was…

"Perfectly normal," she assured the girl in her grip, somehow managing to keep the humor out of her tone. "No matter how mature you are, your body is going through a whole lot of hormonal changes. When you don't spend any time around boys closer to your own age, it's perfectly normal for you to notice that your sensei is cute. Between you and me, he has the second best butt in the village, after mine of course."

The strangled giggle that brushed across her chest let her know that at least the girl was listening. Tsunade stifled a snort. "Noticed that too, then?" she asked archly. Then she masterfully switched from her humorous, confidential tone to one imbued with firm assurance. "Aiko-chan, there is nothing wrong with you, and that's not a reason to dissolve the apprenticeship. Don't you think he'd be confused and hurt?"

Aiko turned her face further down as if to nuzzle further into the safety of Tsunade's hug, avoiding the question. 'So she knew, but doesn't want to deal with that.' Still, Hokages could play dirty. "I don't think that dissolving the apprenticeship would solve anything, Aiko-chan." The girl stiffened and pushed herself up as if to argue. Tsunade unceremoniously shoved her back down. "Shut up and snuggle, brat. I have one maternal episode for the month, and if you end this one prematurely I'll just have to send you to talk this out with Hatake."

That put the kibosh on resistance. Apparently, she really didn't want to share her crush with her sensei.

'She's fourteen and just figuring these things out, she'll move on easily,' Tsunade concluded. The thought made her frown slightly. 'Well, she will as long as she doesn't just spend time with Hatake. That's probably why this came about. In which case…'

She lifted the girl's chin with two fingers to meet her eyes with a serious stare. "Aiko-chan, I am giving you an unofficial, off-the books mission. Do you accept?"

Aiko looked absolutely baffled, but nodded.

"Spend some time with people closer to your age." She tweaked the girl's nose and enjoyed how wide her eyes got. "I understand that people your own age probably seem a bit immature to you, since you grew up so quickly and moved on in your career before most of them did. But there are plenty of people closer to your age than Kakashi who are also intelligent and mature."

A thoroughly wicked thought occurred. She could settle that bet with Shizune as to whether Sasuke-chan really had a crush or if puberty had just hit him with a thousand pounds of force.

"I can think of at least one cute brunette in this tower right now who would probably jump at the chance for a date with you," she added mischievously. "Just try asking someone out to do what teenagers do on dates. That's still food and a movie at the outdoor, right? On dinosaur back?"

"Sounds about right."

Aiko recoiled from the glare Tsunade shot her, which made her feel a little better. It was okay for her to joke about her age, but not for other people to agree with her.

"H-hai, Hokage-sama!"

That was a bit of an overcorrection, but she let it slide.

"Alright then. Clean your face up, you look terrible. Then get the hell out of my office and socialize."

She was relatively certain that, had she been anyone else, the reply to that would have been inappropriate for delicate ears. As it was, Aiko actually had the gall to glare at her huffily before flipping her left pigtail over her shoulder and rubbing at her face with an elbow. Somehow, she managed to make the motion imperious.

When the girl finally trotted out, on a mission and much more put together than she had been when she had entered, Tsunade leaned back and toasted herself. It was a shame all she had was tea, but it would have to do. 'Damn, I'm good.'

Several minutes later, she heard an extraordinary amount of Youth coming up the stairs. Tsunade just rolled her eyes. She almost wished this was an unusual occurrence, but there was at least one incidence of shouting every time she had this particular team in.

Of course, when they trickled into her office and the exuberance became slightly decipherable, it became clear that something had gone horribly wrong with her plan.

The little girl with the twin buns looked a bit exasperated with her loud teammates. The Hyuuga boy was blushing red, which was far more emotion than she'd ever seen out of that particular stick in the mud. And the green buffoons were pontificating about Springtime of Youth and The Beauty of Young Love.

'Aiko, what the fuck did you do?'

 

'A cute brunette, huh?' Aiko pursed her lips, trying to distract herself. Talking to Tsunade had actually helped. Being told by an actual doctor that she was just hormonal because she was a teenager (and therefore not sick and wrong for being… what, a reverse pedophile? She still couldn't verbalize exactly what seemed so wrong) had been incredibly soothing. Tsunade had all but said that no matter how old she was mentally, there was still a physical component to her brain makeup.

It was obvious in retrospect. She wasn't just trapped in a teenager's body—that body also affected her personality and behavior. (Clearly. That hug had been torture. She'd been valiantly fighting the urge to rub her nose in the fascinating chest Tsunade had unceremoniously shoved her into. There was just so much, and it was suddenly so interesting when it was up close.)

The idea that the crush would probably go away if she spent time with people closer to her physical age had helped too. From what Tsunade had said, she just needed to give her hormones eye candy and feed them.

'I can totally do that,' she decided, feeling optimistic. 'All I need to do is pick someone.' Tsunade had been hinting at someone in particular, however. She was a little curious as to what the Hokage had meant.

How many brunettes did she know, anyways?

Aiko winced at that thought. Bad question. Almost everyone in Konoha had brown or black hair. In fact, she saw four people right now coming down the hallway, and every one of them fit that vague criteria of being brunette and in Hokage Tower.

Inspiration struck like lightning.

There was no point in making this too complicated. Step One: Acquire date, socialize with teenaged human/s, feed hormones. Step Two: Re-acquire working relationship with the best person in the world.

It was a good plan. It was a short plan. The simpler the plan, the less chance there was for something to go horribly wrong.

Getting assignments done early had always been a habit of hers. Aiko let her eyes glance over the team, ignoring Gai completely. He was too old, that was the whole point of the exercise. The other three were all slightly older than she was, which helped. She couldn't help but think of the group that had graduated with her otouto as being too young, no matter how broad Kiba's shoulders were getting. Lee was a nice boy, but no, that wasn't going to happen. Hell no, not in a million years to the other one, which left...

"Hi, Tenten. Would you like to go on a date with me sometime?"

 

"It's really not that big of a deal," Tenten muttered with a sigh. "It's a date, not a sign of destined true love." 'Sure, I don't really know her well, and that was really forward, but I hang out with much stranger people on a daily basis…' She tried not to look at her teammates.

Her words had about as much effect as they usually did on Gai and Lee. They'd somehow dissolved into sobbing into each other's jumpsuits.

 

'And the plot thickens.'

Tsunade thought she might actually die of amusement. That was the most Uzumaki thing she'd ever heard of. She took back every thought she'd ever had about how Aiko didn't seem to fit in with Naruto and Karin. Oh, kami. Just asking the first person she sees—not even someone she really knew—out on a date because the Hokage told her to do so. What a way to miss the point of being advised to learn human socialization. This was better than the daytime television Shizune liked to watch in the hospital lounge, though.

If she hadn't been so dignified, the Hokage might have been on the floor laughing. Just the thought of Sasuke-chan's face, when he found out he'd nearly wrangled a date from his crush but been foiled by the fact that she found team nine first…

"Excuse me," Tsunade managed, in a strange, stifled tone of voice.

Even Gai and Lee stopped shouting (still engaged in a standing hug complete with a rainbow behind them), totally confused by the concept that they were being left alone in the Hokage's office. That was against all protocol. There was awkward silence for a moment while Tsunade gracefully walked out to the connected balcony and carefully shut the French doors. Then she broke down into utter hysterics, wheezing and just letting the laughter bubble over with far more volume than could be considered decorous. Lee looked disturbed. Tenten edged away from the door. Neji was still busy contemplating logistics he had never had reason to ponder before.

There was the intensely disturbing sound of Tsunade laughing so hard that she gagged. At one point it became clear that she had been thumping her fist against the metal in a failed attempt to contain her mirth, because the crack it made when it broke was distinctly audible. Eventually, the laughter died down into giggles and the occasional snort. Once there was silence again, the doors opened and Tsunade strode in looking professional and impartial. She seated herself behind her desk, as regal as any queen, and leveled them with an unimpressed look. "Now, then. Team nine, you have been assigned to…"

 

Author's Note Here (there's an Omake below, you can skip if you think my notes are boring. That's cool, I just thought it was more appropriate in this order).

If any one of you can tell me that you honestly expected that to happen, I will write you whatever the hell you want. In fact, I'll buy you a pony. And Kakashi and Aiko will talk next chapter, I promise.

I do apologize a little, because I don't want you to think I'm jerking you guys around too much with pairings. Even though it is totally fun to see the consensus change as I add new bits to the story. I don't intend to set off SS Tenten, so I will share that at this moment I don't intend for that to be 'endgame', as it were (I mean, unless there's a massive uprising of pro-Tenten sentiment, in which case I would dream up a scenario to make that happen. I have a plotline planned out for each pairing I'm considering. It's just the way I think). I won't confirm or deny anything else pairing wise, although I do actually keep track of how many people want what pairings. (I'm not choosing by vote, but I do take things like that into account).

Seeing how people think about and engage with possibilities like that makes me consider them, and sometimes I like things better than my original plans. I'm terrible about consistently responding to reviews, but I read each and every one of them multiple times, even the rare unkind ones. Those people can go suck an orange and I hope the gross taste of the peel lingers in their face for hours, (Because really, who reviews stories they dislike to say mean things? Dudes, just exit the window and don't let the internet hit your butt on the way out because no one wants to hear complaints about internet-butt interaction.) but the rest of you are freaking amazing and you brighten up my day.

Mm, also, I've been getting a couple of reviews mentioning that I should probably slow down if I'm pushing myself. The concern is appreciated, but I'm actually writing at a pace I like. I'm not pushing myself because I feel pressured, I'm writing in my spare time because I enjoy it. I spend maybe two hours working before bed or in-between classes per chapter from start to finish, so it's no hardship. : )

 

A legit Omake that doesn't fit in the story—something I was considering putting in the actual story. But it got too cracky and I never edited it.

Sasuke curled up in his regular chair in Tsunade's office, setting his steaming drink on the lamptable. Aiko awkwardly lingered in the door, glancing at him as if she'd been hoping for a private audience.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow at the girl. "Well, are you coming in?" she drawled. "Is this so important that Sasuke-chan here needs to leave?"

He was so used to her taunting that he didn't even respond verbally. Instead, he raised his head to give her a sassy look, as if a slight sneer and unimpressed head-tile could convey a sentiment like, 'Is that really all you can do?'

"I… Well." Aiko shifted uncomfortably. "It's not precisely important. It's just…" She hugged her cocoa to her chest, eyes darting around the room as if looking for an escape.

For the first time, Tsunade noted just how disheveled and out of sorts the teenager looked. She was dusty, breathing a little too hard, and looked like she might just fall over from a combination of over-work, stress, and lack of sleep. She shifted tactics. Brusque hadn't been working. Letting her eyes soften, she lowered her tone to something soothing and slow.

"What's the matter, Aiko-chan? Are you doing alright?"

'Ah, that's the ticket,' she thought. Often times, just a little bit of sympathy would do the trick. Smooth as can be, Aiko slumped over a little, clearly done fighting.

Sasuke, on the other hand, had looked up with a little alarm and suspicion. His eyes widened when they took in just how stressed Aiko looked. She didn't seem to notice the way he subtly straightened and edged further back into his chair (as if to put a safe distance between himself and human emotions, Tsunade noted with a snort).

Aiko gave a little sniff and looked up. Instantly, Tsunade knew she'd miscalculated. The soft touch had been the wrong approach. Now the girl had gone and gotten the idea she had the okay to spew emotions all over everyone.

The teen boy in the room had frozen as if in the presence of a predator, so still he looked like a statue. It was a rather creepy effect—he was even holding his breath.

Whatever he had hoped to accomplish didn't work. Aiko looked between them with big sad eyes and averted her gaze. "I… I wanted to talk to you about…" She stopped, clearly having problems having the conversation in front of Sasuke. After a deep, steadying breath, the girl tried again. "I've been having a problem-"

She was interrupted by the sound of a potted houseplant appearing on Sasuke's chair with a whumph and then rolling onto the floor. It was a good thing the pots were sturdy. The boy who had been there was long gone, doubtlessly halfway back to the Uchiha compound by now. Tsunade eyed the plant critically, unimpressed but also unsurprised.

"Just a minute, Uzumaki." The words were unnecessary. She had stopped talking when Tsunade held up a hand. The Hokage pulled open the office door and raised her voice a little. "Keiko, would you make a note to tell the receptionist downstairs to water the damn plants? They look awful."

The older woman groaned. "Please tell me I don't have another one to water up here."

"I think they cheer up the place," Tsunade deflected mildly. Besides, she sort of wanted to see what Sasuke would do when he ran out of plants to use when he needed to escape the office.


	46. Chapter 46

Tenten was conflicted. It had been surprising to be asked out by a girl she barely knew, but also a bit flattering. She wouldn't want to say that she was attracted to powerful people, but there was something very appealing about self-assured, talented shinobi that Tenten definitely liked. Uzumaki Aiko was only fourteen, and already doing very well as a kunoichi. Aiko was no Tsunade of the Sannin, of course, but she was already the kind of kunoichi that Tenten would have looked up to as a little girl. She knew perfectly well that the other girl had a reputation for being reclusive and sharp-tongued, but that couldn't scare a girl who worked with Hyuuga Neji. Even the iciest of personalities thawed for something.

She just had to find out what Aiko softened for, and if she liked what she found when the walls came down, this might go somewhere. But first…

"Is… Is that Yamanaka Ino and her team hiding behind the curtain?" Tenten questioned uncertainly. Granted, it was hard to tell with surety, but there was one large lump and two thin ones, one of which seemed to be attached to tiny feet with sparkly blue nail polish and a silver toe ring.

Aiko shrugged without looking up from her fancy menu. "Probably," she offered. "But paying attention to her only encourages her persistent weirdness."

'They're within hearing distance,' Aiko noted distantly when a shriek of outrage reached her ears, muffled by what was probably Shikamaru's hand. 'I wonder why she dragged the boys along for this?'

"Oh, I see," Tenten said, sounding as if she really did understand now. It figured. If anyone in the world had been forced to acclimate to others' oddities more than Tenten, she didn't know of them. "So, ah. You look nice tonight…" She gave a quick glance to her companion's purple dress. It definitely wasn't something she'd ever seen Aiko wear before.

"That's probably why Ino is lurking," she explained contemplatively, lowering her menu to peek at her date. "Apparently, I own nothing suitable for wearing in civilized company and I was going to die alone with my dogs if she didn't help me out."

"You have dogs?" Tenten inquired politely. 'Pets? She doesn't seem like the kind of person who'd keep pets.'

'Oh, she's good,' Aiko noted. 'That was very smooth. She didn't even seem to stumble over thinking about commenting on the apparent deficiencies I hinted towards.'

"Kakashi-shishou let me sign his contract," she explained, reflexively moving to tuck her hair behind her ear out of habit even though it was pulled up. As always, she couldn't help but smile when she thought about getting to sign her shishou's contract. "I'm working with his pack right now, but I've already met two other ninken who are willing to work with me. We need to train together before they're mission-ready, since they're puppies too."

The other girl blinked. "Too? There are other puppies?"

Aiko flushed. "Ah, no, I meant me," she explained sheepishly. 'I forget that others don't use that terminology.'

"That's adorable," Tenten said firmly. "I like it. I might end up with Gai-sensei's tortoise contract, since Lee can't use chakra and Neji is… Well, he's Neji." She shrugged helplessly, as if to say, 'what can you do?'

"Yes, he is," Aiko agreed dryly. At the sharp expression her tone brought, she raised an eyebrow. "I have fond memories of him pounding the absolute crap out of me in taijutsu spars in the Academy. He's just so cheerful and encouraging that I've never forgotten the experience."

"Oh, I'd forgotten all about that!" Tenten breathed with an air of revelation. She giggled openly, not even bothering to hide the fact that her shoulders were shaking with laughter. "Yeah, he stomped you good, didn't he?"

An amused snort brought their attention to the waitress who had been politely standing by the table. "I'm sorry to interrupt your romantic dinner conversation. What will you ladies have today?"

When they were alone again, Tenten folded her hands in her lap and looked critically at her date. Why had she actually come on this date? She still wasn't entirely sure what she wanted, but she did feel a little bit of interest beyond a free meal at a nice restaurant.

"Did you want to see a movie afterward?"

Tenten shrugged noncommittally, still caught up in her thoughts.

Aiko was pretty, after all. It was the kind of pretty that belied her status as a B-class kunoichi and reputation as a rather ruthlessly practical one at that. Maybe in a few years she'd be the same sort of polished sexy that infiltration kunoichi gave off, but right now even the fact that her curves were more dramatic than Tenten's (admittedly minimal) curves didn't make her look very old. She was very petite and had those same enormous, soulful eyes that her brother had. It made for a very innocent sort of effect.

'I could tap that,' she decided internally. So what if Aiko was a year younger? In the grand scale of things, that was nothing.

"I don't know what's out in theaters right now," she managed to reply. "Is there anything you'd really like to see?"

She wasn't particularly fond of the way that Ino had apparently dressed Aiko up for this. It was pretty, but it didn't seem genuinely Aiko-ish. Tenten felt a bit underdressed in comparison, but it had seemed impractical to go home and change when she hadn't even been sweating in her pink top.

"Not really." Aiko made a face. "There's this romantic drama with that one Fujikaze woman that looks awful, though. You know the one I mean, right? On the billboard outside the theater?"

Looks aside, it was flattering to be singled out by someone so talented and reputedly intelligent. What had Aiko seen in her that made her decide to ask Tenten out, and not the hunk of Hyuuga that was standing beside her at the time, or even Ino? Aiko already knew Ino, after all. She didn't know Tenten.

"Everything she's in looks awful," Tenten replied with a huff of amusement. It was true. She didn't see why everyone went so nuts over those stupid princess movies. They were formulaic and dull. "Maybe we should forget the movie and go for a walk instead?"

Aiko nodded easily. "I think I'd like that. It's so beautiful out, especially after languishing in Wind Country for a million years." She made a face. "Maybe the west park?"

'And I don't really know her, either,' Tenten had to remind herself. It felt like she did, though. Gai-sensei brought up his Eternal Rival pretty frequently, and in the last year or so Lee had been getting compared to his Eternal Rival's apprentice. Apparently, Gai seemed to think they were natural foils and continuations of their respective sensei.

Tenten wasn't so certain about that. Hatake Kakashi seemed to have the same sort of analytical intelligence she was noting in her dining companion from what Gai-sensei had said, that was true. However, his social failings seemed to stem from avoidance and emotional trauma rather than genuinely not noticing cues. Uzumaki Aiko was a bit different. She faked social competency well until suddenly she missed a hint and either ended a conversation when someone else wanted to continue or failed to respond conventionally to someone having an emotional reaction. It wasn't uncommon for shinobi to have low emotional intelligence, however, so Tenten wasn't too bothered. Aiko seemed earnest enough, even if she didn't appear to have been adequately socialized when she was young to be able to relate openly to other people.

But if Gai-sensei was right about anything, this girl would be a force to be reckoned with, even if Lee was approximately one hundred thousand times better in taijutsu. That wasn't really a black mark against her, as Lee was a taijutsu monster, and had a good twenty pounds on the girl in question.

She leaned forward and cupped her chin in a hand, allowing herself to smile a little bit. "The park sounds great! So, Aiko. What do you do for fun?"

 

"This is boring," Chouji whined quietly, looking at a nearby table that had recently gotten their order with longing. Ino was just plain cruel, to bring him to a restaurant and not let him order anything. Ino made a rude grunt, but didn't do more than whap at his chest with a hand.

"Hush, I'm trying to listen!" she pouted a little. "They don't seem to be talking about anything interesting, though. Just work stuff." Honestly, who talked about training when asked what they did for fun? That girl needed help. Tenten seemed to be eating it up, though.

Shikamaru remained silent. He'd been deep in thought since Ino had told him he had to come with her to spy on Uzumaki Aiko going on a date with Tenten. Chouji thoroughly expected to hear a completely brilliant theory by the end of the night. Obviously, he was really working hard at whatever he was thinking about.

His eyes darted around the room for anything to look at other than the distracting food. If he didn't make himself think of something else, he was going to be miserable throughout this entire stupid stakeout. Of course, Ino would probably only accept conversation on one topic…

"They make a nice couple, but I never thought of the two of them together," he offered lazily.

Shikamaru smirked on his right side, leaning over to mutter into his ear, "I am." Chouji stiffened, blushing at his childhood friend. That… that was disrespectful! He didn't want anyone looking at his little sister that way. He imagined Uzumaki Naruto would feel similarly about his sister, if he knew someone was picturing her naked, to say nothing of what Aiko herself would think.

(In the Land of Vegetables, Naruto suddenly sneezed, losing his grip on the Sexy-No-Jutsu and reverting to his blonde and male form in front of a very disappointed and confused contact he'd been meant to distract while Jiraiya got the goods)

On his other side, Ino nodded furiously, missing the byplay. "I know, right? I thought for sure that Tenten was going to end up with that stick in the mud Hyuuga!" She paused, looking a bit confused. "I had no idea on Aiko," she added a bit grudgingly. "She never seemed interested in anyone, except maybe her weirdo teacher." Ino didn't care how well the man wore a Jounin uniform. He had habitually bad posture and funky hair—nothing on Asuma-sensei's scruffy bad-boy look. Ino suppressed a shiver.

Shikamaru shrugged lazily, letting a hint of wicked amusement seep into his tone. "Maybe it's Karin's influence," he suggested.

Then he had to flinch, unable to dodge the blow Ino awkwardly aimed at him, leaning across Chouji to do it. She scowled at him. "Don't be dumb. We don't actually know that Karin and Hinata are together. They could just be friends."

"Yeah, friends who are almost constantly together, physically affectionate, and who live together in the same house," he mused sarcastically. "That story holds together." Shikamaru gave an amused huff. "I'd like to see what goes on in that house," he said not-quite-quietly enough to Chouji.

Ino lunged, fingers curled into hooked claws.

'Time to get out of here,' the Akimichi wisely decided, desperately latching onto a chair with the kawarimi and switching places with it. It made a loud scrape sound when it reappeared too close to the wall and the back legs skidded down to thump on the floor, but Shikamaru was too busy cringing from the fire in Ino's eyes to comment on his sloppy technique.

"Idiot pervert!" she roared, shaking his shoulders with enough force to send his head flopping back and forth. "The whole point of that is that you aren't invited! Why are you so damn excited, huh?"

 

"What?" Tenten's eyes went wide, and she craned her neck to see what was going on behind the luxurious yellow curtain that appeared to be hiding a murder (and a chair). She wasn't alone. Most of the restaurant was straining to find the source of the sudden shouting. Except for Chouji, who appeared to be hiding his face with a menu and trying to blend in with a confused-looking family (which included a girl sitting on the floor for some reason. She sensed a connection).

Aiko, on the other hand, sighed tiredly and cradled her head in her hands. Through her eyelashes, she eyed her plate. She was over halfway done, and so was Tenten. Maybe…

"Why don't we head out early?" she suggested.

Tenten pushed her chair back with a relieved look. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea." As if she had suddenly remembered Aiko's warning not to pay Ino any attention, she carefully averted her eyes from the building drama of the manager storming out to yell at team ten. They waved down the waitress for the check and fled as soon as she'd brought them change and mints. Aiko popped her into her mouth right away, sucking on it as they walked out the door, but Tenten absentmindedly tucked hers into a pocket and held the door open for a couple entering the restaurant.

Aiko stole a glance at the other girl as they meandered to the outskirts of the district they were in towards the park they'd decided on, trying her best to rev up her hormones. That was the point of this exercise, after all. It was getting just a little dark—the sky was streaked with shadows where the fading sunlight couldn't paint, but it wasn't unpleasant. For once, she took time to appreciate that Konoha was the city of eternal summer. Entering the park was like taking a breath of fresh forest air out in the wilds. Birdsong and those damn cicadas rang in her ears with the same sincere persistence she'd expect a hundred miles out of the city limits.

Even though she knew the perception was deceptive and they were in the middle of Konoha, she couldn't help but think that her companion belonged in the wilds. Tenten's crisp, clean (obviously artificially dyed) clothing and hair only served to tie together the idea of something intense and natural hidden in the mundane. The effect was striking. Tenten wasn't as curvy as she might have found ideal, but there was something sleekly beautiful about the way that she moved. The girl just looked dangerous, even in that ridiculously unflattering, boxy pink cheongsam top.

That was a little sexy, to be honest. She wasn't one to care much that Tenten wasn't a good dresser. According to everyone who'd ever commented to her, Aiko was godawful at it herself. The starkly practical outlook that would lead a teenage girl to pick out those doubtlessly-comfortable and undoubtedly hideous pants she was currently swimming in would make her a damn fine kunoichi someday.

It had been less good planning and more coincidence that had led them to make it to the restaurant so late, but their timing had been excellent if what they wanted was alone time and a scenic view. The park was one of the largest in Konoha, and if there was anyone else inside, they weren't anywhere nearby. Just walking into the shadows of the park felt like a sigh of relief, and the little bit of tension Aiko had been carrying seeped out of her shoulders. They stuck to the runner's path, a thin trail that led by some of the prettiest sights inside, including a large pond with a tiny waterfall and a few shrines surrounded by natural gardens.

There didn't seem to be a need for words, so they just didn't speak. Tenten wordlessly snagged Aiko's wrist and pulled her off the path slightly to settle against a grassy overhang that happened to provide a view of the sunset through a break in the trees. She didn't drop Aiko's wrist when she folded her knees and sat, so Aiko allowed herself to be dragged down to settle against her warm side.

It was… nice. It was nice to just sit with someone who didn't feel the need to go do something as if to avoid the intensity of just being in another human being's presence. Aiko had never needed words and distractions like Ino, for example. A date with her would have ended like any other outing with Ino except with an additional interrogation. She already knew she had little patience for the constant whirlwind of conversation about stupid things that neither one of them really cared about, as if collecting tidbits about someone's preferences would help her construct something with real meaning or fill the space between them.

'What's that saying? Something about there being two types of people? One type communicates with words, the other communicates with action?' She sighed, leaning back and folding her arms to serve as a pillow. After a moment, Tenten followed suit, and their arms brushed when she'd settled. Some of Aiko's hair had escaped its confines and was tangling in the wind to settle on Tenten's arms, but she didn't seem to care. 'That's probably not exactly right, but it's close enough.'

Words were probably easier, but Aiko was prejudiced towards actions herself enough to think that words were also cheaper. She told people she loved them by doing things for them, not with formulaic expressions of emotion requiring formulaic response. Cooking for Karin and Hinata or helping Naruto with his taijutsu had never inspired passionate gratitude, but it was how she worked.

She felt relatively hopeful that Tenten was something of the same—not one to mince words. If she'd been wrong and Tenten was just chock full of feelings, Aiko would probably run for the hills. 'Then again,' she thought a little guiltily, 'it would probably be fair to her to express that I'm not really looking for a regular relationship. It would be super shitty if I didn't say anything and she thought we were on track to a 'forever' relationship when I was looking for something more casual.'

"You know, I had a good time," Tenten mused. Well, that was as good an opening as any she was likely to get. Aiko let her eyes close. It didn't matter, since she was looking straight up and not at the other girl anyway.

"Yeah, I did too," she murmured. "I'd like to spend more time together, but I should probably make clear ahead of time that I don't really want a serious relationship right now." She was a little uncertain as to how that would go over—Tenten could be offended or think there wasn't any point investing in a relationship that wasn't intended to be long term. That would be disappointing, but understandable.

Aiko relaxed the tenseness that had built up on her shoulders when the other girl gave a surprised little laugh. "Wow, you're so serious." Tenten rolled onto her side, giving Aiko a contemplative look. "You know, it's not like I was expecting a proposal or anything. We're too young to consciously try to make a lifelong relationship thing happen." She made a slight face. "I mean, maybe we'll be that compatible, but if we aren't, I'm not going to be offended or anything."

"Oh good." She let herself give a sly smile. "Because if you were, the ring probably would have had to come from Ino, and that would be a little tacky for a declaration of my eternal love."

Tenten snorted. "Maybe we shouldn't do the whole fancy dinner thing again," she suggested idly. "I mean, I know that's what dates supposedly are, but it's not my kind of thing. Personally, I'm happiest training or staying in." With a skeptical expression, she added, "That doesn't really seem like your optimal environment, either."

"So, what, would you want to have training dates or something?" Aiko prodded, liking the idea. It would mean no more dressing up in things she didn't find appealing and sitting in a crowded place, expected to make conversation.

"Sure," Tenten shrugged, pushing herself up slightly and looking down at Aiko, who was still prone on the grass. For a strange moment, Aiko thought the other girl's gaze was on her lips and not her eyes, but the impression passed and Tenten glanced down to rustle around inside a pocket.

"I like the idea," Aiko said firmly. Tenten ripped open her dinner mint with a crinkle and popped it in her mouth before giving a friendly smile and tucking the wrapper back in her pocket.

"Perfect. How about next week, in the morning or something? I don't have a Wednesday morning workout partner, actually." There was a tiny click that was probably Tenten flicking the hard candy against her teeth. She crunched down, apparently shattering the candy, maintaining eye contact.

"I'll meet you then." Aiko had to smile. This whole human interaction thing wasn't as complicated as she had been led to believe. She could do this, easy.

 

Something threatened to twitch in her eye. God, how oblivious was this girl? 'Oh, wait," Tenten remembered. "I forgot about the whole 'socially inept' thing. She hides that much better than the boys do. I can't count on her to pick up on subtle cues." Her resolve firmed. 'I should be direct.'

 

"Soooo," Tenten dragged out the word for a full two seconds. Something was clearly on her mind. This time, Aiko was positive that she caught Tenten looking at her mouth. "Are we going to make out or what?"

Her eyebrows shot up. 'That was blunt,' Aiko thought. 'But definitely not unwelcome'. She had to give a surprised little laugh, but she responded quickly. "I like the idea." She moved to sit up, unfolding her arms from behind her head and moving to prop herself up. She'd barely managed to sit upwards before Tenten placed one hand above her right shoulder on the grass and used the other to gently but firmly push Aiko's torso back down, before slipping it to brace against the grass by Aiko's other shoulder.

Tenten wasn't a big girl by any means, but suddenly she was a looming presence blocking out most of the dying sunlight. Aiko sucked in a surprised breath, blinking up at the sideways smile and indulgently amused glitter in dark brown eyes. That wasn't what she'd expected to happen.

"Good."

Then she leaned down and all Aiko could register was just how soft and warm the other girl's lips were. Involuntarily she licked at her own, getting a taste of the mint still clinging to Tenten's warm breath where her mouth was slightly parted.

"Mmm," Tenten hummed, turning her head slightly to change the angle of the kiss, pulling back just a little and ducking back in again to tug lightly on Aiko's lower lip. She shivered, a little shell-shocked by the new sensation, and let her right hand lift up to slip under Tenten's shirt and slid her fingertips across smooth skin.

'Oh my god, what have I been missing out on?' she managed to think blearily.

Tenten must have been thinking something similarly positive, because she adjusted her position by moving her right knee over to straddle Aiko. The extra contact- had Tenten always been that warm, because she was really noticing it now- was nice, but Aiko liked it quite a bit more when it became clear that the movement freed up Tenten's right hand to go exploring down her front, lightly trailing short nails and surprisingly soft fingertips down her neck, between her breasts, and then back up to cup at one of them.

In any other situation, Aiko wouldn't have even considered letting the weak, pleading whine that swelled up from the back of her throat to be heard. She didn't know what the hell she was begging for, but she needed it badly.

Tenten pulled her face back with a self-satisfied smile, holding eye contact for a long moment before she brushed a kiss along her jaw line, tugged playfully at Aiko's ear- and whoa, that was interesting- and then gave a short lick to the column of her neck below.

'I wish I wasn't wearing this stupid dress,' she suddenly realized with undue vehemence. If she'd been wearing a shirt, Tenten would have better access. At least it had a wide, low collar that left her collarbones exposed, because the shiver that rocked her body when the older girl gently exhaled at the base of her neck was delicious.

Of course, Tenten wasn't wearing an irritatingly inhibitive dress… Her right hand had clenched lightly against Tenten's back at some point, so she opened it and began running her fingers up and down Tenten's spine. Her left hand lifted up and breached the so-far unexplored territory of Tenten's front.

The older girl gave a surprised squeak at the first brush over her ribs. Aiko could feel a giddy smile pulling at her face and she gave just a little huff of amusement before tilting her head to make eye contact to be sure this escalation was okay. Tenten looked a little shell-shocked, but when she managed to close the surprised 'Oh' face her mouth had fallen into, her nod gave Aiko the go-ahead. She'd thought that would be the answer by the light huffs Tenten was giving that washed across Aiko's chest with increasing speed and the clear eagerness written in her features, but had been kept from going any further up by the lack of outright permission.

Tenten's nose dropped back down onto her neck and she nuzzled for a moment before working at the sensitive skin with her teeth. Aiko didn't wait a second longer, stilling her right hand in between delicately shaking shoulderblades and letting her left brush slowwwly up over what had to be Tenten's bra.

'Huh. Surprisingly nice-feeling fabric. I guess I thought she seemed like a sports-bra kinda girl,' she noted absently, entranced by just how soft the material was. When she finally reached the skin at the top of the cup, Tenten made a soft 'Uh!' sound and pressed herself slightly against Aiko's palm, apparently forgetting that she'd been working on giving Aiko a hickey, just panting against her collarbones now.

She'd been wrong to call the bra soft—Tenten's skin was much silkier. It wasn't a shock, precisely. Her own breasts probably felt similar, but someone else's were just so much more interesting to knead. At that point, Tenten finally made a sound that was about as embarrassing as the one Aiko had made earlier. Something strange surged in her abdomen at the needy vocal demand, hot and heavy. She swallowed, hard, suddenly wondering how far they should really be going in a park at night after their first date, and pulled back regretfully. For the first time, Aiko noticed that she was panting too, and her heartrate was far higher than it normally was even after a warmup.

"Wh-whoa," Tenten panted, straightening her right arm and lifting her head to make eye contact. Apparently she'd collapsed to her elbow at some point. She looked just as giddy as Aiko felt. "This is more fun than I expected."

 

"Go away," Tsunade downright growled at the knock on her door. "Office hours are over!" That should have been obvious, really. Keiko had gone home, and the janitor was vacuuming the entry way.

Despite the fact that she had most definitely not said a cheerful 'come in,' the door swung open and Aiko flounced up with a downright creepy smile, perched on her desk for a moment, and then leaned in for a hug. The cold little arms flung around her neck slipped slightly down sideways across part of her suddenly-stiff shoulders, and Aiko pressed a closed kiss against her Kage's cheek with a happy nuzzle.

Tsunade sputtered, taken aback. She'd just about managed to re-calibrate for the bizarre situation (it was a large leap from taxes) when Aiko chirped, "Thank you for your advice, Tsunade-hime!" and then practically skipped back out.

She stared at the door that hung slightly open. "What the hell just happened?" she wondered aloud.

ANBU Cat shrugged in answer, despite the fact that he wasn't visible at the moment. That had been weird. Was Aiko ill or something?

 

"What the hell happened?" Kakashi muttered in frustration, fisting a handful of hair and tugging lightly. Scanning the documents for any relevant terms like 'Uzumaki,' 'Aiko,' 'Naruto,' 'Twins' or 'Minato' had taken a stupidly long time, even with the aid of the Sharingan's skill in detecting patterns.

The story that the brief mentions and glaring exclusions told was a strange one. He'd think he would have remembered the incident mentioned of the Kyuubi managing to force some active chakra out of Naruto's seal—he must have been out of the village. Kakashi would never forget the taste of that chakra. Even with that explanation, it seemed odd that the off-hand and mildly depressed mentions of incidents of unfriendly behavior directed at the twins over the years had escaped his notice. It wasn't like he had followed them around or anything, but a child who didn't understand why strangers were hostile would have had a hard time avoiding drawing attention. Naruto, in particular, didn't seem like the type to suffer discrimination in silence.

Bizarrely enough, it seemed that the twins had been declared competent to live alone at a frighteningly young age, with the minimal assistance of someone the Sandaime had hired to help them adjust to living on their own.

At first he was baffled- the orphan in shinobi training fund was nowhere near enough for the comfortable apartment he remembered them having when he'd first begun training Aiko, and he didn't know anything about the state of Minato or Kushina's finances. Eventually he pieced together that the Sandaime had actually been supplementing the twins' stipend out of his own accounts, which made a bit more sense.

It was probably part of his way of dealing with his guilt for being unable to care for them himself—all of the reports seemed to have been conveyed via ANBU and not his own observations. Kakashi could hardly blame the man for that. He'd done the same thing for years—avoiding the reminders of his sensei to avoid the worst of the pain.

The Sandaime noted personality quirks developing in the twins that Kakashi had noted himself, which was mildly amusing. Naruto had already been so naughty and playfully loud at age five? The confirmation that Aiko had taken on the responsibility of keeping him in line and the apartment managed at about the same time ached a little, but backed up Aiko's claim that she'd practically raised her brother.

That she had even managed such a feat was astonishing. Kakashi had technically been on his own at a similar age, but he had the structure Minato provided, along with care from some of his father's friends who had not been willing to leave his child alone even when he wanted to be. And Kakashi hadn't been responsible for the care of another human being, either. A child of that age simply shouldn't be equipped to be the caretaker for another child. Kakashi wasn't entirely sure he'd trust himself with such a task now, and he was a grown man.

And that was strange, wasn't it? That one twin was so much more advanced than the other? He'd thought her maturity had been a much later development, but from the sounds of the brief notations of ANBU reports that Hiruzen had apparently found too painful to make for himself, her basic temperament had been established at a frightfully young age.

There seemed to be a bit of a turning point in the notes where the twins were mentioned at about age six, when the Sandaime met them for the first time. Kakashi had to wince at just how tired and depressed Hiruzen had sounded when he wrote about the encounter. Apparently, Naruto had been scarily vulnerable to emotional manipulation from even the most cursory of kindness, a state that had undoubtedly come about because even casual kindness was rare for him.

But it was Aiko who had just about broken Hiruzen's heart with her obvious hostility and attempts to protect Naruto from him. That had to have hurt. Apparently, he'd accepted it as due punishment for failing the twins and their parents (and doubtlessly any number of accumulated guilts) and just did his best to not react to it.

It was rather tragic that Aiko had apparently distrusted a man her parents had trusted implicitly, someone who really did care about the twins even though he was overwhelmed by work and grief. But the Sandaime had seemed to find the silver lining that Aiko was fiercely loyal to and protective of her baby brother.

As the notes went on from book to book, it became clear that Hiruzen had grown to be very fond of Naruto, but it was Aiko who concerned him most at times. The longest excerpt solely about the twins finally gave the last clue—Hiruzen was trying to help her avoid the rapid acceleration and burnout that prodigies often underwent.

'I'm afraid that allowing Aiko early entry into the Academy was a mistake. Luckily, I trust Umino to keep what he has told me in confidence, but the girl doesn't seem to be aware of how unusual her intelligence is. I fear that she could become a poster child against my policy against early graduation if her advanced state becomes clear, but she is simply too young to enter the active forces. I cannot allow it in good conscience, not in a time of peace. Umino has kindly found ways to keep Aiko occupied without entering her into the taijutsu classes, which will hopefully help her avoid excess politicking and notice, using the pretext that she and Naruto are too young to be trained and then unsupervised. No one could seriously argue for the instatement of a genin with no formal taijutsu training. Unfortunately that means poor Naruto must wait another year as well, but I have every confidence that he will succeed nonetheless…'

He didn't allow himself to be bitter that no one had been able to save him from taking on dangerous missions early, or surprised that Aiko had come to him with so little time to learn the actual combat skills. 'Although that does explain why they were lackluster,' he noted dully. She'd improved rapidly with only minimal direction, so it hadn't been lack of talent or work ethic.

'Well, she wasn't exaggerating. I suppose that means I definitely owe her an apology.' Kakashi sighed, neatly closing the book on the table and slumping over. It was positively bizarre to realize that someone he'd thought of as a child until very recently had actually been so mature from an unbelievably young age.

'There's no point in procrastinating any longer.' Kakashi slipped the last books back into the boxes they'd come in and tugged on his sandals, not bothering to lock his door behind him. He had finished Aiko's jutsu the day they had gotten back, aided by proper facilities and the fact that he wasn't hiding jutsu development from understandably paranoid Sand nin. That had been the day before yesterday, but he'd spent almost two full days piecing through those notes for relevant information.

He hadn't been to her home since she had moved, but Kakashi kept track of his students enough that he readily knew where Aiko's home could be found. It wasn't a bad little place, even if it seemed a bit big for a few teenagers. The judgement may not have been a fair one. After all, his family home was three times that size (and hideously expensive to keep in good repair), but he lived in the same tiny apartment he'd gotten at age six or so when it became clear he couldn't stand to live where his father had died. Most people probably used more space than he did, that was all. Privately, he thought that if he lived with two teenage girls, he'd need a house ten times that size.

Aiko was in a strangely good mood when she answered the door, a fact that set a good tone for the upcoming conversation. Perhaps having a chance to spend some time apart had helped defuse the lingering anger she'd apparently had during their deployment. He eye-smiled, tucking a hand into his pocket. "Hello, Aiko-chan. I was hoping to have a talk with you tonight."

'Ah, there's the hesitation I expected,' he thought a bit glumly when she bit at her lower lip and carefully maintained much more distance between them than she used to. Nonetheless she agreed, even if she did try to invite him in. He held up his hands, radiating positivity to outweigh the potential slight. "I'd rather meet you at training ground seven. I'll see you there!" With that, he fled.

Alright, so the plan had been to walk with her so that she knew he wouldn't be late and he could just get this over with, but he'd scuppered that idea when it became clear that she seemed uncomfortable in his presence. It would be counter-productive to exacerbate the situation by putting her on edge before he even had a chance to show her what he'd made for her.

'Sen tsurara', one thousand icicles, didn't have quite the same feel to it as his chidori did or even work in the way he'd originally intended, but he was still pleased with it nonetheless.

 

"Well, that was fucking weird," Aiko mumbled, blinking at the empty place where her shishou had been until a moment ago. She hadn't expected him to seek her out, but it was probably for the best. Now that she'd calmed down and had her catharthic talk with Tsunade-sama, she had decided it would probably be for the best to be the bigger person and apologize for losing her temper with Kakashi. It wasn't really that his suggestion of the Rasengan had been a terrible idea. If he brought it up again, she would take the instruction gladly.

She took her time getting ready to go. He probably wouldn't be there for hours anyway, even though it was unusual that he'd go to her home to get her and then not bother to accompany her.

'Maybe something's gone wrong,' she realized suddenly, deciding that she could put away what she had been doing later after all.

 

The hostility was overwhelming as soon as he entered the meeting room, and Itachi involuntarily wondered if this would be the time that Madara finally ended their cat-and-mouse game by killing him. He didn't allow himself to pause in the door or react openly, instead taking his usual seat. After a moment, it became clear that Madara's bad mood wasn't directed at him. He couldn't quite bring himself to be relieved. Today was the day he had to explain why he'd let Sasuke's inappropriate career choice slide for so long—almost two months.

His answer would probably satisfy Madara, but Itachi wasn't pleased himself. He had discarded idea after idea as to how he could force Sasuke to change his mind for his own good, hardening his heart to his own pride and desire to just let the boy be. Sasuke still had a role to play, no matter how odious the necessity was.

That theory didn't satisfy Itachi himself, largely because he suspected that Sasuke could gain the power he needed even by going down such an untraditional path. Itachi had known from a young age that Sasuke possessed the ability to surpass him, even if his genius was less flashy than Itachi's own.

His own reluctance was probably why it had been so difficult to settle on an appropriate course of action—applying the absolute minimum amount of force and trauma to set Sasuke on the right path whilst simultaneously being cruel enough to satisfy Madara's sadism and convince the man that Itachi held no attachment to his otouto.

 

"I have come to a decision on how best to cope with Sasuke's disobedience."

Obito felt his lips twist into an animalistic sneer against the cool, hard surface of his mask, for once feeling irritated instead of amused by Itachi-kun. Usually it was enjoyable to see the boy attempt to outsmart him while pretending to bow his head in obedience and respect. He'd certainly never thought that a child who represented the best the Uchiha had to offer, the eldest son of that goddamn prick Fugaku no less (the moron who had banished him from the compound before his eyes manifested), would kowtow to him. The irony was delicious.

But not today.

He had been having such fun with his new toys. Sound had needed to be punished—everyone would eventually be punished, but Sound wasn't important enough that they needed to live to witness his glorious revolution. The fact that Hatake-damned-Kakashi had been the one to end his game early by taking out his puppet was infuriating.

Seeing the monster who had murdered Rin (even indirectly through the eyes of that stupid Yakushi boy) had dredged up anger that Obito had barely buried in a shallow grave. What was worse was that the asshole was as smug as he had ever been. Did he even care about what he'd done?

Uninterested in pretending he didn't know that Itachi wished for his death and pined pathetically for his useless little brother's love, Obito turned his face away. "I don't care what you do with the whelp," he growled.

No, Hatake obviously didn't care. He'd even replaced his old team. If Obito could go back and direct Yakushi through the encounter again now that he knew Yakushi was too useless to finish off Hatake even with his guidance, he would have gone for the snot-nosed little brat who had simpered for 'Kakashi-shishou'. The very thought of someone looking up to Hatake filled him with unspeakable rage. How dare that fucking idiot try to keep Hatake from the messy end he deserved? Didn't she know what he'd done to his first team, his real team? Didn't Konoha know what Hatake had done?

'That's why it needs to be changed,' the remnant of Madara's influence in his mind whispered raspily. Obito shook his head to dislodge the thought, uncaring that Itachi's eyes narrowed at the strange movement. He knew that already, he didn't need to be told. 'Konoha is weak and corrupt.' Yes, of course it was.

"Get out!" he bellowed, suddenly sick of Itachi's face. He was sick of all of them, sick of keeping one of Konoha's vipers to his chest no matter how ineffective the boy was.

'Calm yourself,' Madara's voice whispered. 'He still has a part to play. Isn't it better to get all the use you can out of Konoha's tool?'

Obito had to smile at that thought, not minding the by-now familiar sensation of ruined skin pulling stiffly at the expression. Yes, that was better.

 

Okay, so apparently I lied by saying I would resolve the Aiko-Kakashi conflict this chapter, but it's getting to be a bit bloated. Next time, I pinky swear.

Two things- first of all, I am blown away by just how amazing you guys are. The reviews I got for the last chapter just... whoa, guys. It makes me ridiculously happy to see.

Secondly- I'm totally sorry for taking so long on this chapter, especially since I actually told a couple of people that I was sure I'd have it up yesterday. I got caught up doing a lot of training this week. I'm going to be tutoring ESL adult learner students, starting next week. So that's exciting, but apparently you can't just fly in like Mary Poppins and do whatever strikes your fancy. I was busy getting an edumacation. I won't do it again, promise.


	47. Chapter 47

It took conscious effort to pick her jaw back up.

"Say that again?" Aiko asked a bit weakly.

He glared, looking spectacularly uncomfortable, as if he was possibly considering pulling a Sasuke and fleeing the conversation. But Kakashi-shishou gave a pouty little huff and repeated himself. "I re-evaluated my previous rhetorical position. I have an alternative for the Rasengan."

Perhaps there just weren't any logs nearby to substitute with. Aiko resisted the temptation to check.

'If I'm not mistaken, that's a wordy apology.' She smoothed her features and did her best not to look too surprised. There would be no point to insulting him or making him feel any more uncomfortable by seeming too exuberantly grateful. Aiko didn't like these sorts of conversations either, so she directed her reply to the ground and scuffed the toes of her sandal in the dirt, tracing lines. "I misspoke as well," she muttered. "I was taking other frustrations out on you. I don't want to be arguing anymore."

"Well, that's settled then." One of those ludicrous fake eye-smiles diffused the tension, and Kakashi shifted into business mode with a palpable air of relief. "Before I teach you, I have one warning. I based this off of my experience making chidori, so don't go sharing insights about it to anyone else. It's a bit of a cheat sheet for reverse engineering my technique."

She blanched. 'He invented a technique for me? Holy shit,' Aiko thought weakly. That was a hell of an apology. 'I should probably master it and be damn grateful. I'm definitely not going to mention being okay with the Rasengan after all.'

"The name's a little deceptive, but I rather like it. Sen Tsurara—one thousand icicles. I initially tried to use the same shape transformation as for my chidori, but it ended up much less compact, but without the long tendrils of excess energy that characterize chidori. If you haven't noticed by now, chidori uses Ox, Rabbit, and then Monkey."

He demonstrated without channeling chakra, which was a damn sight harder than it sounded. "I couldn't get what I wanted to work with three handsigns—the minimum appears to be four." He paused. "Well, at least until you've mastered it to the point where it comes naturally. Have you ever used Jin?"

Aiko shook her head. He just lazily blinked as if he expected that. At least, it seemed like he blinked, even though she couldn't see both eyes. She had to assume he wasn't really winking at her all the time.

"Alright. Jin is commonly associated with water release techniques." He demonstrated slowly and carefully. When Aiko mimicked it, he moved on. "It starts the same, but you're going to lose the Rabbit seal entirely and substitute in 'Dog' and then 'Jin', but still end with Monkey. Show me."

Aiko entirely blocked the chakra paths in her wrists and flashed through the sequence, not fumbling on the new seal.

"Good." Kakashi let a hand wander up to that electrocuted mop he called hair, a gesture she recognized as meaning he was thinking. "Alright. Obviously, there's no ice involved in this technique. I can do many things, but I haven't figured out how to transfer bloodline limits yet."

It took conscious effort not to look at the hidden Sharingan eye under his dark blue mask.

"Instead of ice, you'll actually be generating water and using the same concentration you do to give water bullets their hard edge." He shrugged lazily. "It looks a lot like ice, and that sounds better than 'One thousand pointy bits of water.' Then he looked contemplative for a moment, before putting his palms up and sheepishly admitting, "And it's actually more like six hundred seventy six pointy bits, but who's counting?" His visible eye curved into a smile.

She was a little appalled that he'd actually been anal enough to count them himself (and how had he even managed that?), but agreed that no one else was likely to spot the fib in the name.

"Is… is it a running technique like chidori?" she asked, curious.

He shook his head. "No, that's dangerous. Not that this doesn't have its own problems," he admitted self-depreciatingly. "It's not a sustained technique. It only lasts about a second and a half at most. So if your timing is off, you're just pawing at people with your bare hand."

"And that doesn't work for anyone but a Hyuuga," she finished.

His lip seemed to twitch under his mask. "Correct." Then he demonstrated, flipping through the seals at a speed she couldn't even register, since she already knew what they would be.

Of course, nothing seemed to happen for a good second. She furrowed her brow and looked up at his face, which seemed decidedly amused. "As you can see, nothing happens until you force a burst of chakra out past the buildup," he drawled. "The seals are just preparation in this case. You can ready them as much as a few seconds before you actually use the technique, which does mitigate something of the timing problem." He ran through the hand seals again, this time lifting up his right hand and pulsing chakra through it.

It exploded—it really did look like ice burst out of his hand. In the moments it lasted, he lazily demonstrated that it wasn't bound to a single trajectory by moving his arm from side to side, letting the technique move with him. Then suddenly it dissolved, collapsing into a sphere of water and then splashing to the ground, all form lost.

"Whoa." She took a deep breath, mind working. "There's something I didn't see, isn't there? If it had just been that hard-edge technique, it would have shredded your hand as well."

He looked a bit proud. "Insightful. Yes, the first step is a soft cushion around your hand." He kneeled to scoop up the fallen water and demonstrated a wiggly glove construct, instead of generating more raw material. "You're going to attach the hard edge to that, instead of your flesh."

She made a face. That sounded like a pain. He hadn't actually taught her a technique that complicated before. He made it look easy, but the control for that cushion was analogous to what beginning medics would need. She would be able to do it while working on another technique, but barely and only with a fair bit of concentration.

'That means more chakra control practice, so I can use this on-the-go,' she sighed. Goddamnit.

Kakashi chuckled lowly, not sounding particularly amused. "It would be embarrassing to cripple yourself with your own technique. So, don't forget that part. The difficult bit is manifesting that independently of what you're doing with the handseals for the hard-edge portion, but the closer they are together time-wise, the less likely that the people you are about to skewer have a chance to figure out the possible weakness that you can be harmed by your own technique."

He didn't have to explain why that would be a bad thing.

"Duly noted." Aiko fidgeted.

"Show me that part first," he lazily demanded, leaning back against a tree. "I know you can do it, but I'd like to see it actually generated and not picked up from a natural source."

For a while, he just let her work in silence, occasionally giving a tip or snarky critique. She had managed to start attaching hard edges to the protective cushion, even though they were messy and nothing like shishou's perfect, symmetrical jagged protrusions by the time he brought up a strange topic.

"I didn't realize you and Naruto were living on your own from such a young age. Four, wasn't it?"

'Why's he bringing that up now?'

Aiko frowned, stealing a glance at her sensei. The tone had been perfectly level and casual, but something had been very wrong about the statement nonetheless, and not just the fact that he rarely initiated idle conversation. Perhaps it had been the way he emphasized syllables or the fact that he was trying too hard to sound nonchalant.

Either way, it seemed like a dangerous question to respond to. Kakashi was fishing for information or a certain response. Saying something when she didn't know what he was looking for could end poorly. Aiko didn't intend for anyone to ever find out that she had been reincarnated or had precognition or whatever the hell was going on in her head. She barely trusted in her own sanity, and she was the one stuck in her head. Doubtless, no one else would just accept such a crazy claim. It was better to let people attribute the fact that she didn't always entirely 'click' to whatever they wanted. Often, people told themselves far better lies than anyone else could.

So Aiko shrugged noncommittally, focusing on her task and how the goddamn icicle things just wouldn't manifest the long, straight edges that Kakashi's technique had instead of responding verbally. Her shishou seemed to measure the response, tilting his head slightly like a bird. If she knew him at all, which she definitely did, now he would be re-thinking his rhetorical approach and coming at whatever he wanted to know from another angle. She would probably be able to figure out what he was really angling for by considering his first question in conjunction with whatever he tried next.

"Why do you act as though you're so much older than your brother?" Kakashi asked suddenly.

Aiko blinked, taken aback by the odd question. He didn't suspect that she was really an adult—that wasn't a suspicion you gently prodded at, so she didn't see the connection. "I don't know. I just suppose that someone had to take care of things, and I was more qualified."

'Because I was born fully conscious and aware,' her mind filled in. Was it lying if she finished her sentences in her head?

Her shishou seemed to frown, eye darkening. "You shouldn't have had to."

'Oh. That's what this is about. He's feeling guilty now that he realizes no one stepped up to take care of us after Minato and Kushina died.'

The realization was surprisingly irritating. Aiko rolled her eyes, exasperated. He'd been fourteen and just lost the last of his support system—of course he hadn't been able to take the twins in, even if he had been able to afford and care for two infants.

"Who cares what I 'shouldn't have had' to do? It's a bit late now, and obviously it worked out. Look at how well adjusted I am." She held her hands out in demonstration, and momentarily regretted that Yamato wasn't there. That joke would have garnered at least a snort.

"Tough crowd," she muttered at Kakashi's unamused expression. Aiko shrugged, turning away and stubbornly avoiding his eye, pretending to be engrossed in hand seals. "Look, I don't know what you want me to say. I don't regret it. I like being an adult."

Kakashi just looked tired and depressed, slumping his shoulders inward."But you weren't. Minato was my sensei. I should have-"

"Bullshit." The fingers of her right hand, which had been trying to flash through the handsigns she'd just been taught, clenched convulsively. Her neck was so stiff that it hurt a little. "I doubt you were in any state to take in two infants. Besides, I can't imagine thinking of you as a father figure." He recoiled, but she didn't feel guilty. "You're my mentor and probably my best friend." The touchy-feely admission was a little embarrassing, so she closed her eyes entirely. "It's between you and Naruto, and I just don't think he has the appropriate sass for the role."

He snorted. But he didn't say anything else, be it a refutation or a continuation of his pity party, so she counted it as a victory.

It was surprisingly easy to fall back into their old patterns of behavior, which would have been nice if Aiko hadn't been attempting to alter her own actions. She was probably too old to cling off of him now, and it would only encourage her silly infatuation. So she maintained a little more distance than she would have only three months ago, but he didn't comment.

They only stayed in the training field for another hour. She wasn't exactly a novice with solid chakra manifestations, but this one ate a shocking amount of her chakra. As she worked she was becoming a little more efficient, which was reassuring, but she wouldn't be whipping this one out in combat any time too soon. It wasn't the jutsu itself that was the issue. Nor was it that her reserves were low. It was her inexperience with maintaining multiple shapes at once, which only practice could rectify.

Aiko wasn't worried. If shishou thought she could master this, then she could. He wasn't one to overestimate anyone's abilities.

 

"You can't teach a cat fire ninjutsu," Anko said firmly. She didn't draw the line often, but this seemed like a good place to do so.

Karin just scoffed, "Hater," under her breath, but Hinata looked up from her attempt to manipulate little paws through approximations of hand signs and calmly uttered, "That's what you keep saying, but I'm not convinced."

"Why else would Naruto be so convinced Smaug is a dragon?" Karin added practically. "Maybe Smaug is a fire-natured cat."

Anko rolled her eyes. "Fine, whatever, do what you want." She pointedly edged far away from the cat experiment and worked her way to the kitchen. Hinata was the only person that damn animal seemed to tolerate, and she wasn't interested in bleeding from her face. (Smaug always went for the eyes or throat). She dropped her bag on the floor as she went, and yanked open the fridge to contemplatively frown inside. Triumphantly, she withdrew a container of leftovers, peeled the lid up to sniff it, and then asked, "D'you think Aiko would notice if I took these blanched vegetables?"

"Probably," Aiko drawled, leaning against the counter and eying Anko's back.

The older girl jumped a bit and hit her head on a shelf, cursing. "Don't fucking sneak up on me, bitch!"

Aiko huffed in amusement, digging around the fruit bowl for an apple. She just wasn't seeing one, though. Maybe she'd had the last one yesterday? "It's my house. I can sneak if I want to."

"That's no excuse," Anko snapped, cradling her head and letting the fridge shut with a bang.

"Oh, lay off it," Karin sighed, wandering in to poke around sadly at the empty cookie jar. "Hey, Aiko, you love me, right? Since you're so nice, would you-"

"'So nice'? Is that the best you can do?" She raised an eyebrow at her cousin skeptically. "That's pretty weak flattery. Maybe you should say something about my impeccable style, or my awesome hair day, or-"

"I'm an honest girl, and I don't want cookies that badly," Karin shot back with a smirk. "I would never undermine my integrity for food." Unseen, Anko (intrepid fridge looter that she was) flipped Karin off. Bored, Karin dropped the lid with a clatter that made Aiko wince, but at least it didn't crack either the jar or lid. "I guess it doesn't matter. We need to go."

"Anko. You didn't plan for lunch, then?" When Anko shook her head with a pathetic pout, Aiko sighed with faux irritation. "Just take my bento then, you utter barbarian. I'll go out for lunch. When are you guys going to be back?"

Hinata meandered in, snatching the blue bento out of Anko's greedy claws and dutifully packing it away with hers and Karin's boxes in a knapsack. "Tomorrow morning, if all goes as planned."

"Alright, I'll probably still be here then."

The house emptied, but Aiko wandered aimlessly from room to room, feeling restless and strange. She'd been asked not to work any further on Sen Tsurara without supervision, and shishou was out on another mission above her skill level. Yamato was probably with him, but she didn't have an idea as to who his third teammate would be.

'I bet Sasuke's around,' she mused. 'I haven't seen him in forever. Maybe we could do lunch and catch up?'

Since he had begun his specialization, Sasuke had been entirely confined to the village. Oddly enough, he didn't seem resentful. That probably meant his training was going very well—he liked seeing visible improvement. Off hand, she couldn't think of anything else that would mitigate the irritation of not getting any chance to stretch his legs and get in real fights.

Although she was still a little achy from her workout late last night, Aiko felt much more optimistic about her day when she had something of a plan.

It only took an instant for her to realize that she didn't envy her housemates who would be sleeping outside that night. Even as she opened the door, Aiko had to cringe away from the biting wind. She slammed it immediately and walked right back into the house to change clothes.

Pulling a long-sleeved blue shirt much like her shishou's out of her closet, she had to freeze and giggle hysterically at the thought of how miserable Karin must be in her shorts. There was no way that Anko would let her go back for a change just because she hadn't planned well (never mind that Anko was a terrible planner as well). Just because it amused her, she changed out of her own shorts and pulled on a short white skirt over blue leggings instead of wearing pants like a responsible, grown-up kunoichi would. She completed the outfit with shoes that had been a gag gift (at least, she hoped it wasn't a sign that his taste in fashion had gotten even sillier) that Naruto had mailed to her from a city she'd never even heard of. They were shaped something like Mary Janes and appeared to be white patent leather… with a smiling cat face in black stitching on the toe area.

'These are fucking awesome', she had decided when she'd opened the package.

Karin hadn't seemed to agree, but it wasn't Aiko's fault that the other redhead had no taste. It was a shame, but there it was.

Lunch with Sasuke didn't work out—when she stopped by the hospital to try to find him, she was told he was with a patient and couldn't be disturbed. So she asked that he be told that she had stopped by, but didn't really hold much faith that he would get back to her in time. It was ten in the morning already at that point, after all. Bored and a bit lonely, she decided to get the unpleasant task of some clothes shopping out of the way, while Karin was safely out of the village and unable to nitpick. She didn't feel like she was getting fat or had put on weight, but her clothes weren't fitting like they used to. Even the skirt she was wearing at the moment was a little too snug to really provide the freedom of movement she needed.

Looking in the mirror in the changing room, she felt a little more daring than she had the last time she had gone clothes shopping. That had been when she was twelve… The thought brought her the unpleasant realization that she hadn't had a growth spurt in a very long time.

Regardless, now that she was finally old enough—technically a legal adult, by Konoha's standards even though fourteen seemed frightfully young to her—she was willing to get slightly more risqué with her leisure wear, if not her mission clothing.

As Konoha was much more prone to small, specific stores run by families instead of large department stores, that meant quite a few trips around town that loaded her down with a good forty pounds of bags. Staggering slightly, not from the weight but from the unwieldiness of her load, Aiko set off to drop her new things off at home—and startled when an irritated looking Yamanaka grabbed her shoulder from behind.

"How rude!" Ino sniffed, looking at her purple-painted nails. "You didn't come to tell me about how your date went, after I slaved over getting you ready."

Aiko blinked, mildly confused. 'Slaved? She brought over something she already owned and put my hair in a bun with a fabric flower. Maybe this is more of that ettiquite I missed out on?'

"I'm sorry," she apologized, trying to rearrange her bags to better see the road she was accidentally blocking. Shikamaru, Asuma, and Chouji came up the road in the direction Ino must have come from, wearing varying expressions of boredom and irritation.

"Ino, let the poor girl go home," Asuma drawled through a cigarette. Ino blushed, but didn't back off.

"Yes, weren't we going somewhere?" Chouji said pointedly, glaring at his kunoichi comrade.

Shikamaru seemed to have a sudden idea. At least, the suddenly wicked gleam in his eye indicated that it was a good one. But when he finally voiced it, it sounded surprisingly tame. "Why don't you just invite her along, so we can get going?"

Ino scowled at him, but it seemed to be more out of habit than anything. "Fine." She snatched most of the bags off of Aiko's arms despite her protestations—and then shoved them at Shikamaru and Chouji while Asuma snickered, giving Aiko a conspiratorial wink she didn't understand. "Look alive, boys, you weren't seriously going to let a lady carry all this?" She peeked inside one, and let a sly smile creep across her face. "You went clothes shopping all on your own? I'm so proud."

"I usually go shopping on my own," Aiko said dryly. "I don't particularly appreciate the implication that I'm incapable of dressing myself. I'm a big girl. I tie my own sandals and everything."

Chouji blinked and looked down at her definitely unfastened shoes with a vaguely perplexed expression. There wasn't anything to tie. They were slip-ons. He opened his mouth—and then Asuma slapped a palm over it. Ino didn't notice when he leaned over and muttered, "It's best not to get involved," and then gave him a commiserating pat on the back.

They fell to the back of the group, partly because they were lazy and partly because it was safest to be out of Ino's direct line of vision. As soon as there was enough distance, Chouji elbowed his friend and muttered, "What's going on?"

Shikamaru snorted, warily eying Ino as if to gauge the distance before he dared speak up. "Isn't it obvious?" he grouched. "Ino is feeling territorial and jealous, now that it's sunk in that her friend would rather spend time with another girl. She doesn't want to date Aiko and she'd turn her down if she was asked on a date, but she doesn't like that Aiko would pick someone else over her. She's convinced herself that since she's the most desirable," (here he rolled his eyes), "that it doesn't make sense that anyone wouldn't want to date her."

They hadn't noticed that Asuma had lingered close enough to hear them until he gave a low chuckle. "That's a pretty good analysis, Shikamaru, but you missed something."

He looked distinctly put out at the gentle admonition. "That so," Shikamaru said flatly.

"Yes." Asuma replied, looking amused by the whole thing. "But I think I'll let you figure the rest out on your own. You're missing something pretty major about what this says about Ino's personality."

"She's bossy, territorial, and passive aggressive?" Chouji offered up just a little too loudly. Shikamaru reflexively flinched, until he realized that Ino had somehow been too distracted by whatever she was babbling to hear the insult as she usually did with those terrifying bat-ears of hers. (Even if Chouji hadn't meant to be insulting at all, she would hit him senseless when she caught him).

"We already knew all that. No, that's not what he meant. She's highly insecure," Shikamaru said flatly, giving his friend a scathing look for nearly setting Ino's massive temper on them. Chouji gave a cringing, apologetic grin in response. "None of this would be necessary if she didn't put such high importance on her physical desirability, but she's also feeling threatened by one of her few female friends spending time with another girl. Ino subconsciously thinks that Aiko is going to leave her like Sakura did, back in the Academy."

Asuma nodded. "Got it in one, so be nice to your teammate, alright boys?"

"Tch," Shikamaru deflected, turning his face away. He wouldn't have teased her about it- not much, anyway. They were friends, after all, even if she was troublesome.

 

"I'm glad we have this opportunity to talk, Kakashi."

Sunlight pinged off of perfectly straight teeth, and Yamato cringed a little. There was just something about being around Gai that made him feel like he had a massive hangover—sunlight and noises suddenly became painful.

It didn't make any sense, but there it was.

Kakashi yawned, letting his eye close blearily. Maybe Gai would get bored and go chase butterflies if he didn't play into his hands?

As pleasant as the thought was, it just wasn't to be.

"What do you think about the recent development inextricably bonding our teams?" Gai grinned, giving a confusing little chuckle that Kakashi refused to think too deeply about along with his 'thumbs-up'.

Yamato twitched. 'This is not inextricable bonding,' he grumped. 'It's one mission, turtle man.'

Kakashi seemed to be having similar thoughts. Instead of replying verbally, he just raised one eyebrow and pulled out a book. He actually startled (rather like when someone steps on a cat's tail, Yamato mused) at Gai's booming laugh—that was traditionally where Gai would mope about being dismissed. Was something going on?

"Oh, my rival, you are too cool," Gai wiped away an inexplicable tear. "How hip of you, to pretend that you did not know that your young apprentice has fallen for my student's charms!"

There was a bizarre sound when Yamato simultaneously wheezed in surprise and forgot how to walk, ending up face-down in the dirt. Kakashi couldn't blame him. He was trying to remember…

'Did Aiko sustain any head injuries while we were gone?' Try as he might, he couldn't think of any potential cause for such a radical change in personality. 'Is she ill? Has she been dared to do something by that Yamanaka girl?'

"What."

The flat response seemed to delight Gai, who gave a wicked smile. "Why, if I didn't know better, I'd say that she hadn't told you that she was going to ask the lovely Tenten out on a romantic encounter!"

Time and space tilted back onto their usual axis, and Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief. Right. It wasn't that strange Lee boy, or even the terrifyingly unstable Hyuuga. It was the perfectly normal… girl…

'Huh. I never would have guessed.' Kakashi shrugged. Then he wondered if he knew of any other kunoichi couples. That was much more common in the civilian sector (where relationships were much less likely to be influenced by clan politics requiring that people reproduce at a young age to replace them when they inevitably died at age 22 or so. It was sort of the vicious cycle of shinobi life.)

Then again, Aiko didn't really have a clan-influenced upbringing, and as far as he knew Gai's student didn't come from a ninja family. So they might not even be approaching their relationship from the generally accepted shinobi practice of indulging in same-sex relationships temporarily before they eventually got down to the clan mandated reproduction.

He stopped in his tracks, suddenly terrified that his student had gotten into a serious relationship. But... but… Wasn't Aiko too young to be mooning over older girls? 'If she tries to come to me for romantic advice, I will request deportment to Suna,' he decided darkly.

With that, he happily dismissed the train of thought. He'd already decided Aiko was a big girl. She could take care of herself. Unless she asked him for help, he'd assume that she would be able beat the older girl into next week on her own if this 'Tenten' got too fresh.

 

"You've got to be kidding me," Suigetsu whined under his voice, flipping through the latest edition of the bingo book. Reading it in the dark of the sketchy bar he was in was hard enough that he had to check a second time ot be certain he hadn't just missed a page. The first sword he wanted to acquire should have been easy to find- Zabuza surely merited a fucking page in the bingo book. He'd been locked up in Orochimaru's shithole for a while, but not that long.

Of course, Suigetsu hadn't investigated the political state of his old country. All he had to know was that there would be no point to returning unless it was the only way to complete his goal, and he'd rather try to kill them all than kowtow to the fuckers who had been ruining his childhood home when he'd left. Hence why he had gotten the hell out of there before the Mist backup team those Konoha and Sand nin were expecting had showed up. Depending on who was in charge, he would either have been dragged back into their forces or would have had to cut his way out. He hadn't liked his chances at that- he wasn't an idiot. Suigetsu recognized Hatake Kakashi when he saw him, and didn't particularly want to fight a lightning user without a damn good blade. Besides, it would have been a damn shame to have to cut up those two girls.

He felt himself smirk at the thought, trying not to get too excited at the thought of cutting up such pretty skin. It would be fun in the short term, but he'd rather flirt with hot girls than dismember them, even if the blonde was a fucking bitch with stupid weaponry. At least the redhead had a sword, plain as it was. Suigetsu shivered at the memory- he'd been locked up for long enough that immediately running into a pretty bitch cutting people up had probably softened him to her more than was wise or deserved. She wasn't that good, after all. Nothing on him or his goals for the best group of swords there had ever been.

"Hey, you." He slammed his fist irritably on the countertop, catching the barkeep's attention. The woman rolled her eyes, but meandered over.

"What the hell now, brat? That's the latest edition."

"Can't be," Suigetsu sneered. "Where the hell is Momochi Zabuza?"

She snorted, thoroughly unimpressed. "You fuckin' kidding me? He's been dead for a while. Some Konoha team ganked him.

'What,' Suigetsu thought flatly. 'Is she fucking serious? I was just with a Konoha team last week. If I'd known... I could have pretended to be with the current administration and gotten some information.'

"Realllly," he drawled out, looking unimpressed. "Can you get a little more specific?"

"It'll cost you." She grinned at him, shamelessly displaying a missing tooth. Then she froze, wide-eyed at the sword kissing her throat.

"Or," Suigetsu purred into her ear, from his new position behind her. He was thoroughly fed up with this bullshit. "You could just tell me, because we're such good friends."

Stiffly, she leaned back as best as she could, trying not to move too much when she muttered, "Fine, asshole. Let me go, so I can show you." He withdrew enough to let her move around, but kept his sword out and his eyes on her when she grudgingly rifled through the more unofficial bingo book entries. That in itself told him something- whoever he was looking for wasn't a missing nin, and the country who had blacklisted them wasn't technically at war with their home village. That was the only reason they'd be in the unofficial bookings. Someone wanted them dead, but didn't want to be liable for it.

The bartender ripped the page clean out of her book and shoved it at him, never minding that it crinkled. "Enjoy. Now get the hell out of this establishment."

"Gladly," Suigetsu muttered, sheathing his blade and snatching the bounty. He didn't even look at it until he got outside in the fresh air.

At that point, he cursed up a storm.

'Well, at least I know the bitch's name now,' he thought darkly. 'Definitely should have claimed to be allies.'

She looked younger on paper, but the redhead with the sword was unmistakable. Picture must have been old. Squinting, he decided it must have been her headshot after Academy graduation, which meant she didn't take a lot of high-profile missions. If she did, there would be more recent unofficial shots of her. That probably pegged her as some sort of specialist that seldom worked with clients, like an assassin or a tracker.

"Which means that tracking her down without infiltrating Konoha will be a pain," he muttered. Maybe it would be more worth his time to investigate what the hell was going on in Mist, first.


	48. Chapter 48

In Which Danzo is Blamed for Something He Didn't Do (for once)

To the layman, the corpses she was examining would appear to be in order. They weren't a pretty sight by any means, but the advanced state of decomposition made sense when the climate and time since death had occurred. They wouldn't have had any eye material left at this point anyways, and most observers wouldn't have been able to tell anything was wrong.

Shizune wasn't 'most observers', however. Much like Sasuke was specializing in disease and pediatrics, and her mentor specialized in chakra enhanced field medicine and poison removal, Shizune had a concentration in diagnosis and analysis of post-mortem specimens, usually in order to glean information about other villages.

To her, the bodies she had examined may as well have been actually speaking to her. There would have been buildup on the eye cavity, and traces of maggot activity in the sockets if the eyes had decayed normally. She respectfully flipped sheets back over Uchiha Mikoto and Fugaku, (two of the very few who hadn't been cremated) and directed an assistant to have them returned. He didn't look particularly pleased, but she didn't care as she tugged off her hairnet and disposable gloves, tossing them straight into the biohazard container.

It was probably for the best that Sasuke hadn't been involved in this, not that he would have been allowed to anyway. It was against policy for staff to be involved in the medical treatment of blood relations if at all possible, including post mortem work. It was just unwise and emotionally compromising.

Being asked to give permission to excavate his parents had probably been traumatizing enough, to be frank. Especially since Tsunade hadn't wanted to explain her suspicions to him unless it was absolutely necessary.

While she had them up, Shizune had taken the opportunity to acquire a genetic sample from both Uchiha. It might be useful to Sasuke in his investigation of the bizarre disease that kept popping up in his family line, which Tsunade had thought might serve as a good consolation if the exercise was for naught. If Kakashi's theory about missing eyes had proven to be incorrect, there would have been no point in worrying him.

Unfortunately, it looked like Kakashi was right, as he was prone to be. Someone had run off with prime examples of the Uchiha bloodline and used them to incite unrest between Konoha and their allies.

What's worse, they had to be someone highly placed in Konoha, either through legitimate means or with spies.

She didn't bother to knock or introduce herself, as she knew that Tsunade-sama should be out of appointments at the time. Sasuke was in the office, and he looked up with an unusual amount of curiosity. 'He must have rushed over after he finished with his patients for the day,' she realized dully. 'I bet he didn't even stop back to his office before coming here to wait for me.' Shizune cringed, but didn't bother suggesting that he should leave. At this point, he should know what was going on. They couldn't ask him to allow her to excavate his parents and then claim it wasn't important.

"Bad news, Tsunade-sama," she said unceremoniously. "Kakashi was right." She ignored the groan that sounded suspiciously like, "That smug bastard," and continued. "Someone…" Her eyes wanted to flicker over to capture Sasuke's reaction, but she contained the twitch. "committed bloodline theft on at least two members of the Uchiha clan, probably a day or two at most after the time of death."

"Fuck," Tsunade muttered, rubbing at that migraine she kept insisting she didn't have. "Just- fuck!"

Sasuke was pale, composed, and hard. But the glitter in his eyes gave away the fact that he was definitely experiencing a strong emotional response. "Do we have any suspects?"

At the clipped tones, Tsunade looked at her younger apprentice with visible sympathy. "Not exactly. It would have had to be someone either in-village with the opportunity to make a move very quickly and the authority to get around security, or…" she trailed off, not certain if it was wise to suggest the opportunity, now that she remembered Sasuke didn't yet know that Itachi had been under orders.

"Or if they knew what was about to happen and had been able to make arrangements beforehand," Sasuke finished quietly, cold with anger.

Shizune exchanged a dry look with her shishou, full of meaning. Tsunade struggled not to make a face. Her elder student was probably right—it was time that Sasuke got the full story. She trusted him, and he was clever enough that he might already be sensing hints that something was wrong about the story he'd been told. If he figured this out on his own, he would never trust them again.

"If that," Tsunade agreed quietly, averting her gaze. She looked downright pained, which to Shizune was as good as an admission that she agreed. "Sasuke… Do you remember what I said, about information that you needed to have but didn't have clearance for?"

"Yes," he bit out, practically vibrating with tension. "But I'm not yet sixteen or a Jounin."

"This… changes things," she muttered. "I think you have to know, now. Uchiha Sasuke, what I am about to impart is an S-level secret. Insensitive use of this information will compromise multiple lives, and possibly the administration of Konoha itself. If you do not feel able to responsibly possess and protect this information, say so now."

She hadn't expected that he would falter. Tsunade knew how block-headedly stubborn her younger apprentice was.

Seeing his faultless bow and murmured promise that he would protect this secret still filled her with pride. He was a good kid.

"Alright, then. ANBU, out of the room, set up a perimeter." A whoosh of black was visible for just an instant, and then the door was shut more securely. Shizune wordlessly traveled the room, activating hidden seals.

Sasuke was looking a bit disturbed at this point, to her expert eye.

"This information," Tsunade began, "was known to only three people before I was informed, as far as I know. One of whom is Shimura Danzo," (Shizune scowled), "one is the Sandaime Hokage, and the last would be Uchiha Itachi."

Now both her apprentices were scowling.

"You're not going to like this," she sighed. "but this story actually begins when the Kyuubi attacked Konoha."

Sasuke's confusion was almost palpable. Normally, Tsunade would have mocked her apprentice for the blankly dumb look on his face. She could hardly blame him for that—the connection was hard to see.

"Apparently, the idiotic masses went looking for scapegoats in the wake of their pain. One of those you know—Naruto. The other…" She paused. "Well, I'm sure you're aware of that old story about how Uchiha Madara could control the bijuu with his Sharingan?"

Sasuke twitched. "That's a children's story," he said flatly.

"Well, it apparently holds equal appeal to small minds of all sorts," Tsunade said dryly. "Because several elements of the conservative faction allied with the nimrods who came up with the connection, and the Uchiha came under suspicion. Danzo, among others, used the opportunity to push sanctions against the Uchiha, who he had apparently never trusted."

He appeared spectacularly unimpressed.

"Obviously, I don't believe that the Uchiha were involved in a brilliant scheme to summon the demon that devastated their home as well," Tsunade said dryly. "But unfortunately, your father wasn't much of a politician, and chose to deal with the idiocy as if it would pass if he just sneered at it long enough."

Shizune face-palmed at the 'accurate but not particularly kind' summation of the situation. Sasuke just shrugged.

"My keen intuition tells me that he overestimated the intelligence of the general populace."

The condescension in the otherwise bland statement was all but palpable. If nothing else, Sasuke had a damn good poker face when he wanted to. Tsunade gave a sideways smile devoid of humor, and added, "Unfortunately for all involved, he also underestimated their competence. He chose to cope with the political difficulties by removing them from power."

At his blank expression, she rolled her eyes. "Tsunade-sama means that he was advocating overthrowing the Hokage and the Council and taking control of Konoha's administration," Shizune explained gently. Sasuke wavered for a moment, and then sat down with a thump on the couch.

'Me too, buddy,' Shizune sympathized silently. Damn if the kid didn't look like he needed a hug at the moment.

"I assume they were successful," Sasuke drawled, sarcasm as easy to spot at the tremors in his hands.

'He's burying it deep.' Shizune did her best not to twitch in irritation. Sometimes, the emotionally removed act got old.

"Yes, well, they might have had a brilliant opportunity to fight and possibly die against the combined capabilities of the rest of Konoha's military, if it weren't for the fact that someone tattled." Tsunade flexed a foot under the table. She'd been sitting so long that her legs were cramping up, but now probably wouldn't be the time to announce a break and go for a walk. "The Sandaime planned to diffuse the situation with diplomacy. His council disagreed, covertly supporting Shimura Danzo who coerced an ANBU captain into acting as his spy… and putting down the rebellion by killing every man, woman, and child affiliated with the Uchiha. That agent, tricked into believing the order came from the Hokage, accepted the mission because rejecting it would have meant someone else would have taken it, and everyone really would have died," she finished quietly.

Then she watched a young man's world break apart.

"So…"

Sasuke's voice broke, and his pulse jumped in his throat. Shizune shifted uncomfortably, considering doing something about the fact that he appeared to be near hyperventilation.

"So Itachi was acting on orders."

He swallowed.

"Not the Hokage's orders. Danzo's."

"Yes," Tsunade said quietly. "Or so I was told after I became Hokage. Itachi is currently acting as our spy in a group of S class criminals who want to rule the Elemental Nations." She was visibly sympathetic, but there was only so much she could do.

Shizune shuddered, roughly wiping tears off her cheeks. 'I've never seen Sasuke cry before.' He didn't seem to be aware of the water rolling down his face, or the fact that his hands were trembling. She closed her eyes, feeling sick. The information had been bad enough without witnessing how it affected the only living Uchiha who hadn't known.

He didn't even try to resist when she quietly sank down into the cushion beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, curling his head onto her chest.

Sasuke cleared his throat. His voice was deceptively steady when he asked, "So when are we going after Danzo?"

"As soon as we can pin an unrelated crime on him," Tsunade said gently. "If he's taken to trial for what he did to the Uchiha, Itachi would be exposed as a fraud and probably killed. However, we do have an angle. Many years ago, the Sandaime discovered that he had a private force among the ANBU, and ordered him to disband it. But we don't think that he did. Unfortunately, proving it requires that we get hold of one of those soldiers alive and get around the seal placed on their tongues that renders them incapable of speaking."

"How did you know to look?" Sasuke demanded. "What did Kakashi have to do with anything?"

Tsunade blinked, but easily adapted to the subject change. "He and his team discovered that the supposed Kage of Sound was being controlled by a genjutsu so powerful that Kakashi didn't see how it could have been cast by anyone but a Sharingan user specializing in it. He had worked with Itachi in past, and didn't believe Itachi was capable of such a thing." She snorted. "Even if he was capable of it, I think you can see why I didn't think he had any motivation to set Konoha and Sand against each other. Or set Konoha against the Fire Daimyo, depending on how much information was meant to get out," she added, just to be thorough, although that outcome made less sense to her.

"Of course, now that we lay it all out that way…" Shizune scowled and involuntarily tightened her grip on her kohai. "It sounds like Danzo had the opportunity to commit the bloodline theft we discovered today."

"And he opposed the alliance with Sand," Tsunade breathed. "That…"

"That fucker," Sasuke hissed, choking on tears.

It wasn't a bad summary, Tsunade thought. That fucker indeed.

 

Shoulders held high with more effort than usual, Sasuke stalked back to the hospital to safely deposit the samples Shizune had taken for him. He carefully did not think about the fact that he was carrying genetic material from both of his parents. They were samples, that was all.

Out of sheer force of habit, he stopped by reception on his way in to see if there had been any changes in status for his patients. There hadn't, but there was a note from last shift's secretary. He eyed it wearily, unfolding it to find that Aiko had apparently stopped by in the last morning.

A brief glance out the window reminded him that it was almost six at night. Surely she had figured by now that he had been busy. But, still… maybe it was something important. Either way, it would be a distraction.

Right now, he didn't want to think. He just felt sick, like he might shake and fall apart if one more nerve was pressed the wrong way.

He had been wrong. He had been lied to, and he had been a gullible fool. Sasuke had even noted that Itachi's claim that he had killed the family to test his abilities had made no sense. The story that Tsunade had shared… it made a lot of sense.

That meant that years of his life had been wasted. All the bile and effort spent hating a certain man- no, Itachi, hating Itachi, the only loyal Uchiha he'd known- had been less than a waste.

The worst part was just how easily he could accept that his father might have done such a thing to protect his clan's future and welfare.

'But that means… mother, too?'

Could she have- would she have turned against the village? Mother had been loyal… but had she been more loyal to her family than to the village?

'Yes,' he registered dully. There wasn't really doubt to be had.

And that would explain why she didn't appear to have fought Itachi when he came to kill her and father last. They knew his choice, and chose to stand down once it became clear that their plan had failed. She wouldn't have fought her own child.

Sasuke blinked, and realized that his hands had been moving without his consent. His feet, too—he was in the lab, and labeling his two samples. On another day, the lapse in attention would have been alarming, but he couldn't be bothered to care.

What was he going to do?

The bloodstains on the compound that he had seen every day for years as a reminder of why he needed to harden his heart and kill aniki. The habit caused him literal pain when he thought of it now. He had been so wrong, so stupid for so many years. He had lived with the blood of traitors in his home and hated the one living person who loved him enough to accept the monstrous mission to kill their clan.

Sasuke had hated his brother as a traitor for years… but he felt a hypocrite now when he thought of re-evaluating that judgment. It was just impossible to redirect his hate to the real traitors. His father had just been trying to advocate for his family's rights. The path he had chosen was wrong, but things could have been worked out. It could have, if it weren't for Danzo.

His feet led him across town, but not in the direction of the Uchiha compound. Sasuke paused outside the Uzumaki's door without announcing his presence for a moment, torn. Why had he come here? He couldn't tell Aiko what was going on. Even if he did, what could she do about it? Nothing. His old teammate could do nothing.

Sasuke turned away.

Aiko had been standing in the path to the house, looking at him curiously. Then she blinked, concern crossing her face. "Sasuke?" Then she seemed to comprehend something. "Oh! I'm so sorry, did you come because I stopped by the hospital earlier?" Before he could muster up a reply, she was moving on, pushing past him to open the door. "I just wanted to see if you'd like to get lunch, but obviously that didn't work out. Would you like to come in? It's a little cold to lurk out here."

Was it? He hadn't noticed.

Sasuke had only been in this house twice before, and briefly both times. That hadn't stopped someone from getting him his own pair of house slippers. His brow furrowed at just how damn odd that was—how many visitors did they have? There were a downright shocking amount of shoes in the genkan—but he didn't bother to ask.

He didn't need to, as Aiko glanced over at him when she tossed him the slippers. "Karin thinks communal shoes are gross," she said, as if that explained everything.

It was best not to spend too much time thinking about Karin. He often got the unsettling feeling that she was undressing him with her eyes when he saw her. Considering her best friend was a Hyuuga… there was a decent possibility that she really did know what was under his clothing. He'd had creepy stalkers before, but that concept was a new and disturbing one.

"I see," he replied quietly, digging his toes into the soft material. He rather preferred the more traditional ones, but Sasuke had been raised with better manners than to criticize a gift.

"Tea?"

He didn't bother to reply, knowing perfectly well that she was already making it. Aiko was a creature of habit. At a time like this, that was something of a comfort. With a clatter, he pulled back a wooden chair and settled in at the kitchen table. His old senpai –she wasn't really anymore, he really shouldn't still refer to her that way—glanced over at him, then pulled down two blue teacups with a light bump against the counter.

"Long day, huh? Want to talk about it?" She didn't seem bothered when he shook his head. "I see. Did you see Fukiko today?" Aiko gave one of her impartial little smiles at his nod. "Ah. How was she?"

Now that he'd been presented with a question he couldn't answer via sign language (without resorting to actual hand signals), Sasuke drummed his fingers on the tabletop. Sharp eyes caught the uncharacteristic fidget, which he didn't find annoying coming from her. She was always that way—always looking. "She's doing well," he answered finally.

It was true. The symptoms were easily treatable, and she was actually feeling much better than she had been in past. He had yet to make any real progress on the actual disease she had—hell, it hadn't even been named outside of the lab assigned number. That felt like a personal failure, even though it was his first major case and only been worked on for a few months.

"I'm glad to hear it."

She actually did sound glad. That was one of the things he liked about her. It wasn't always obvious, but she cared in her own awkward way. It was a little easier to deal with than Naruto's very verbal method of expressing concern.

"Yeah." He muttered. The teapot's shrill call disrupted the temporary calm that had fallen over his mind, and Sasuke jolted. Aiko stood to retrieve it, but his mind was miles away.

How had he so easily forgotten what he had been worrying about? He had much more important things to think about than tea. What was wrong with him?

Brow furrowed, Aiko whipped around when she sensed that something was wrong. A nerve in her lower eyelid twitched. "Are you serious?" she whined, glaring at the mailbox sitting in Sasuke's chair. 'Why can't that boy use the door?'

She had to groan. He must have been desperate to escape… and getting really good at the replacement technique. She didn't know if she could rip up an object secured at the end of a curb outside the house to switch with. Impressive show of skill aside, it was going to be a pain in the ass to fix.

'God, why is everyone I know so weird,' she grouched, setting the kettle back down with a clatter and moving to lift the mailbox. It was hard to know if Sasuke could be fairly judged as being as much of a looney as the Yamanaka she'd escaped from earlier that day, but at the moment... Well. It didn't look good for him, that was all.

 

Several Days Later

 

"So, you want to remake the seven swordsman of the Mist," Mei mused. It wasn't really a question, so Suigetsu just nodded and attempted to look sincere.

It wasn't his most natural look.

To be fair, he wasn't feeling the emotion at the moment. It had been surprisingly easy to get re-accepted into Mist for an audience asking for reinstatement. Their forces were depleted, and apparently it had been a relatively common occurrence as bloodline users who had fled the purges returned when they found out the new Mizukage was a bloodline user herself. He had used that ready excuse and the fact that he didn't think anyone was around who would know that he had left for other reasons, like the fact that Mist was a shithole and the seven swordsmen had become a refuge for corrupt assholes.

He didn't really give a rat's ass about this Kage one way or the other. She was probably going to fuck things up as badly as Yagura had eventually. But she was weak and sentimental enough to give another poor, mistreated bloodline user a personal audience and reinstatement back into the active forces.

For now, he would play along. The training he had been given as a future member of the legendary swordsman group was a valuable commodity, and so this bitch was likely to help him acquire at least one sword so she could use him. Since they were allies with Konoha, she would have information about what the hell had happened to Zabuza's sword, and possibly information on the others.

Suigetsu gave the Mizukage's two bodyguards a toothy smile on his way out, twisting the fabric of his new headband between his fingers. The old one was impassive, but the twitchy fuck with the large sword couldn't meet his eyes.

That was fine. As soon as he had everything else he could get out of them, he would kill that brat and take the sword he so cavalierly hauled around. Suigetsu had much more right to it.

When the door shut behind the newest Mist Chuunin, Mei snorted. "What an idiot," she drawled, crossing her legs and ruffling her hair contemplatively. But even idiots could be useful.

"You don't trust him?" Chojuro inquired cautiously.

Ao gave him a spectacularly condescending look. "Why else do you think she didn't tell him we already have that sword?" His tone clearly added, 'idiot', at the end of the phrase. The younger man flushed. Just about no one knew that Mist had Zabuza's sword, so the ruse was unlikely to be discovered any time soon. In the meantime, they could use the brat.

"Now, now, be nice, boys," Mei chided lazily. She let her lips curl into a catlike smile, but didn't deign to comment.

Frankly, the boy's poorly hidden preoccupation with the little girl who had technically killed Zabuza was amusing. As part of the deal for borrowing the girl's abilities, Mei had been required to covertly release the information that she'd cashed in Zabuza's bounty. Konoha couldn't do it themselves without the ruse being obvious, but Mei had managed to get the information onto the girl's bounty without letting the idiots who set the bounty know the information was a purposeful attempt to make the girl seem like an unappealing target. Unless Rock raised their set bounty, no one would probably come after the girl now. It just wasn't worth the trouble to tangle with a kunoichi who could kill Momochi Zabuza for such a small sum.

Mei knew perfectly well that even if the girl had technically landed the killing blow, it had to have been a hilarious fluke of some kind. The girl might one day be that kind of shinobi, but she sure wasn't yet.

'But I was told not to let anyone know she's being over-exaggerated,' Mei thought with an innocent flutter of her eyelashes, as if she'd been telling the lie out loud.

She had to get her kicks somewhere, anyway.

 

Anachronistic Omake- Since people apparently miss Naruto.

"You can't have my wallet," Naruto dead-panned, holding it out of Jiraiya's reach. There was no possible good reason for a full-grown man to want to hold onto a kid's money.

The old dude spouted some crap about shinobi temptations and prohibitions or something, but he just concentrated on giving his best 'unimpressed' stare. It was his go-to tool when he didn't actually have a clever response. It was better than shrieking ineffectually. He would never be as clever with his words as Aiko was, but at least he could make his words count when he did use them.

Speaking of which…

He tried a logical approach. "If those prohibitions are so important for shinobi to be able to resist, then I need to be able to cope with them on my own. Earlier, with the Rasengan, you said that being my teacher meant that you would give me the tools to figure out my own problems and not that you would guide me through them. By that admission, you should be letting me struggle with the prohibitions on my own instead of protecting me from them."

Jiraiya stared for a moment, and then he started laughing. "You're brighter than I thought kid, but not bright enough." He held up a frog-shaped wallet, winked, and then scarpered off.

If he wondered why Naruto wasn't chasing him, he didn't let on.

"Idiot," Naruto muttered, digging out his real wallet. It probably looked a bit lewd, since he'd stuffed it in his pants, but that was just about the only way he could think of to keep the pervert's paws off of it. He'd been with Jiraiya long enough to know he wasn't the man's type. A passing man clapped his hands over his preteen daughter's eyes and sent him a nasty glare.

'Why's he so mad? She's giggling. Obviously she doesn't care,' he thought. He didn't reply, just gave the man a big, wide apologetic grin.

For some strange reason, he turned red and hustled away even faster.

Naruto shrugged. Whatever.


	49. Chapter 49

"It's weird not to have Hinata around," Karin groused. Aiko glanced at her cousin without pausing her push-ups. She made a noncommittal grunt in response. It was much less unusual for her—she spent a lot more time out of the village than Karin or Hinata did. Karin almost never left the village on missions except when posted with Hinata and Anko. Since Hinata was still training to be a tracker with her first team, she went on a fair few trips, but they were short.

This one was a bit longer, though, so Karin's restlessness made some sense… Even if her whining did demonstrate what Aiko thought was a strange dependency.

It wasn't like Karin and Hinata would probably be part of a permanent team. The only thing they were really learning from Anko anymore was her special serpentine taijutsu—they had already begun working with specific summons who were tailored to their specialties. With small, fast snakes, Hinata was a rather terrifying scout and infiltrator. Karin preferred to play with serpentine poison. It complimented her specialty in extracting, creating, treating, and reverse-engineering poisons. Although some of her summoned friends were tiny in hopes of using stealth, she generally preferred the shock and awe approach in an actual fight.

Aiko couldn't blame her. If you were going to throw angry, writhing snakes at people, they may as well be forty pound snakes. Why the hell not?

It did make sharing the house a little uncomfortable, to be honest. She had only managed to bring Pakkun over once, before he flipped his lip and started barking.

Apparently, dogs did not like snakes, in person or by scent. Training with the gigantic puppy Pakkun had introduced her to (a fluffy white dear called Mitsuo who she couldn't imagine actually getting in a fight. He was just so skittish and awkward—in that puppy stage where it looked like he was walking on stilts he wasn't quite used to yet after a sudden growth spurt) was complicated by the fact that he downright refused to come within a block of the place. Apparently, snakes weren't well trusted.

'Maybe Anko should move in here and I'll take her old place,' Aiko thought dryly. It wasn't the first time she'd had a similar thought. It totally sucked not to be able to spend time with her summons in the comfort of her own home. The training fields were okay, but… ugh. Just, ugh.

"Hey, are you listening?"

'No', she thought.

"Yes," Aiko said.

"You're a fucking liar," Karin muttered, collapsing indolently onto the pink towel she had stretched out on the grass. "I asked you to toss me the sun lotion."

"Why?" Aiko frowned. "If you're worried about getting burned, why don't go inside?" She quirked her head, and added, "or put clothes on." That was an itty bitty bikini right there. No wonder Karin was worried about tan lines. Nonetheless, she shifted her weight to one foot and kicked the bottle over. Then Aiko tossed her head to dislodge a bead of sweat threatening to roll down her forehead. Ew, so gross. As soon as she was done with conditioning, she would be going inside for a while, thank you very much. Her arms were starting to ache by that point. These types of workouts had been so frustrating lately. It was like no matter how much she worked, she just didn't get any stronger. Her arms had clearly defined musculature, but even Karin showed more raw power when she flexed. Karin hated working out!

Karin propped her torso up with her arms and gave a gusty sigh. "I don't know how I ever forget that you're so clueless," she muttered airily, tossing her hair back.

'Okay, those comments get really old. I guess that's enough push-ups.'

Aiko bent her knees to spring her legs up by her hands, re-situated her weight entirely on her feet, and grabbed her half-empty water bottle as she stood. Then she yanked the contents out in a thin spray that hit her cousin. Karin yelped like a Chihuahua, momentarily stunned by the cold. That delay cost her—Aiko had already given her a grin and shot back into the house.

"You're such a brat!" Karin hollered after her, holding her hands to her mouth. Aiko just snickered, pulling her tank top over her head on her way to the bathroom. It was probably really weird and wasteful, but she always showered and changed clothes between her conditioning workout and whatever else she did that day. It just killed her to wait around in dirty clothes if she didn't have to. She would be meeting with Kakashi in about an hour (hopefully, if he wasn't later than she'd calculated). Aiko wasn't entirely certain what he had planned.

It turned out to be a late day. An hour and a half came and went after she made it to the training grounds. Aiko didn't see hide nor hair of her wayward shishou until she finally gave up and sat down to open her lunch. It was almost one.

"This is not nine-thirty in the morning," she said flatly when she sensed his chakra signature. He just hmm'd and snatched a rice ball out of her tin.

"Really? I had no idea. You see, I was out by the gates, and I thought I saw a dog I knew. I was mistaken, but we had a lovely conversation anyway."

'I'm never sure if it's worse when his excuses are plausible.' She just rolled her eyes. "Yamato is right, you are a mooch, shishou."

"He said that about me?" Kakashi asked in a very false, hurt voice. When Aiko looked up, the rice ball was gone. Then he blinked, suddenly focused on her. It was a bit weird for a second, until… "Good lord, that outfit is an abomination. Did Naruto dress you this morning?"

She threw a cherry tomato at his head. He snatched it out of the air and popped it into his mouth. 'This isn't even that strange,' she pouted. A pink v-neck shirt and white shorts was a bit casual for her to actually work out in, but it was stupidly hot out.

"If you two are done flirting, I thought we were going to be doing some training?" Yamato drawled from somewhere behind her. Aiko made a sound that wasn't much more dignified than Karin's yip that morning and jumped, swiveling to glare at him. He grinned at her boyishly. "If not, I can come back later."

"We need to put a fucking bell on you, cat," she muttered grumpily. Stupid ANBU with their stupid sneaking. Stupid Yamato in particular with his uncharacteristic intelligence in finally figuring out that he could tease her back. Did he know something? Or was that just payback for the 'Yamato Nadeshiko' pun that he couldn't seem to shake? She hadn't meant for that to happen, to be honest. Stupid plebians should come up with their own jokes.

While she was sulking, she'd managed to miss Kakashi's reaction to being accused of flirting like a teenager. One eye narrowed. "You know, you've gotten a little fat," Kakashi mused with sugary concern, giving a slight cringe and obvious once-over to the younger man. "Tenzou, I really think it would be for the best if you ran a few dozen laps around the village to burn off that gut." He flopped down onto the ground and innocently blinked up at him. "We'll wait here for you."

Yamato sputtered, one hand jerking convulsively to his tummy at the same time that he attempted to correct Kakashi about his name, deny the accusation, and presumably whine about being set to run laps like a naughty genin.

Aiko wasn't entirely sure what all he said, to be honest. It was hard to focus when she was so busy trying not to snicker aloud.

'Whipped.' She mimicked the motion behind Kakashi's head, enjoying the way her senpai flushed.

"and you can join him," Kakashi added smoothly. "You'll get fat as a house if you keep eating like that."

Somewhat incredulously, she let her eyes slide over to her packed lunch. Two rice balls, some tomatoes, blanched sweet potatoes and peppers, and a box of grape juice were nestled around a piece of fruit—oh, no they aren't, she noted. Her shishou had already snagged her apple and was rubbing it casually against his pant leg with an amused mien that dared her to say anything.

'Maybe I should have brought another lunch so I could actually eat mine. Does the man just not know how to cook?'

It was hard to imagine him doing anything so domestic as putting together a packed lunch. …Though the mental image was adorable.

When she caught up to him on her second lap, Yamato turned to give her a superior expression. It was mostly ruined by the smirk tugging at his lips.

"Oh, shut up," she muttered, elbowing him in the gut. "At least I'm his apprentice, I have to do what he says. Why are you letting him boss you around?"

It appeared that the thought had never occurred to him before.

Aiko felt a little guilty. Yamato was a nice guy, if a bit of a chump sometimes. It was hypocritical to hold him to standards she couldn't perform to. "To be fair, I wouldn't want to tell him no, either," she sighed. "What if he got disappointed in me for being lazy or something?" She'd never really disappointed him before, and she didn't intend to start now.

"I know what you mean," the man at her side grumbled. In the same serious tone, he continued, "and that's why I'm going to finish my laps first." Her jaw dropped, and she unconsciously kicked up her pace to match his increase in speed. "It'd be a bit embarrassing to match the efforts of a Chuunin," he taunted mildly, easily increasing the size of his strides. It was a bit of a dirty trick to play on someone so short. 

She actually didn't mind. 'I didn't know Yamato ever played. He usually seems so serious. First time for everything, then?'

"You wish." She shot back, now full-on sprinting.

He did win. By a good four seconds, which was a helluva long time between shinobi. She was fast, but he was ANBU fast. She faux-glared up at him, working to catch her breath. He looked smug, and then glanced at Kakashi as if hoping for approval.

He just raised an eyebrow, spectacularly unimpressed. She wasn't entirely certain, but it sounded like a disparaging, "puppies," left his lips as he turned away.

Yamato looked mildly devastated.

"What did you want, a medal? Maybe for him to jump out of a cake in his underwear?" she whispered to her companion. Kakashi twitched in a way that implied he'd heard the jab, but was already walking away.

She took the chance to glance over her belongings and take a long pull from her water bottle. As expected, her lunch box hadn't really been touched since she'd left. Kakashi had probably just been teasing, then.

"If you two are done flirting, then," Kakashi mocked with wording like Yamato's earlier. The younger man blushed pink on the tips of his ears. Aiko just rolled her eyes. As if.

"I was thinking that it was probably time to do some team training exercises. It's probably for the best you never had to use your new technique the last time we were out on a mission," he directed at Aiko. "Because I don't think you understand just how much it would disrupt team dynamics."

Yamato eyed her curiously. "So, am I finally going to figure out why you two were growling at each other for two months?" he asked innocently.

"Nope." Aiko popped the 'p' sound and fluttered her eyelashes at him.

"Don't tease my poor little kohai, Aiko-chan," Kakashi scolded absentmindedly. "Now. Do you have one of your special toys with you?"

'That sounded dirty', Aiko thought. Judging by the way Yamato blanched, he'd had similar thoughts.

"No." She shrugged. "But I could whip one up, if you have the stuff?"

She half-expected it, so she didn't even blink when he unzipped his hip pouch and dug out a brush, ink, and a little pad of unlined paper.

'Someone planned ahead today.'

"Make two," he said shortly. Aiko cringed. 'There goes almost half my chakra,' she sighed. But she nodded obediently and flopped down onto her tummy to work, crossing her ankles in the air behind her. She wasn't entirely sure if the other two did anything or just stared silently the whole time, because she was in a world of her own while she drew. Instead of completely making one before she started the other, she inked both out and then sat up. Aiko tucked one safely under the toe of her sandals to protect it from the wind. Then she drew her knees up to her chest and pressed the other one to the uncovered skin close to her heart, closed her eyes, and worked on infusing it with her chakra. No matter how much practice she got at this part, it seemed to be easier if she was in physical contact with the seal. (The closer to a large gate, the better).

It stopped accepting chakra with a shudder against her consciousness, so she blinked her eyes open sleepily and held the paper out to her shishou. "There's one," she yawned. Kakashi frowned down at her.

"Are they really so tiring? I didn't think…" he trailed off. Aiko shrugged, and answered the unspoken question honestly.

"I have no idea, it might just be me instead of the actual seal. But yes, this part wears me out."

He seemed to frown. "Can you make another one right away?"

"Oh yeah," she reassured him. "I've made up to four in a day before."

'Of course, I did end up in the hospital,' she reminded herself.

It was probably best not to share that part. It took a moment to gather her thoughts enough to ignore the persistent buzzing of the super-close seal in her shishou's hand. She hurried through the second seal, before anyone got bored enough to actually take a nap. Yamato didn't seem particularly thrilled when she'd glanced his way.

Kakashi must have noted the stutter that indicated she was done, because he gently tugged the paper out of her hands and exchanged it for a kunai with her first tag already on it before she'd even opened her eyes. "Once you've cleared your head, show Yamato your little trick, would you?"

She blinked the tiredness out of her eyes and managed a nod. "Of course." For a moment she just twirled the short knife between her fingers, coming back to the real world enough to pick a target. She almost wanted to play with Yamato by throwing it close to him, but that would be phenomenally stupid. He would probably reflexively move to bat it away, which would probably end with her getting cut up or knocked halfway across the clearing.

But on the other hand, she did want to showboat a little bit after he'd showed her up earlier. So instead, she tossed the seal-laden kunai directly up into the air, caught it and safely tucked it into her leg holster, and then gracefully flipped in the air twice before landing in a crouch.

'I should practice more of that,' Aiko silently decided as she fell. 'Is there any point in being this in-shape if I never pretend to be a gymnast?'

She desperately fought not to giggle at the slack expression on Yamato's face. It became easier when her shishou cuffed the back of her head. "Idiot," he muttered fondly while she yelped and jerked away. He cleared his throat. "Depressing, isn't it?" he addressed to Yamato.

Aiko furrowed her brow. "What?"

They ignored her. "A bit, yeah," Yamato agreed, sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck.

She rolled her eyes. 'Ugh, they suck sometimes. I bet even Karin would have been impressed by that. The Hiraishin is cool, even if I do have something better.' The thought gave her reason to be smug even when the boys were mocking her, but she didn't want to let them know she had something else up her sleeve. It might be useful later. So instead…

"Are you done pretending I'm not here yet?" she demanded crossly.

Kakashi blinked lazily at her, as if he didn't understand why she would be grumpy. "As I was saying. We're going to spar, and Aiko is only going to use Hiraishin and taijutsu. You two against me."

Yamato frowned. "How is that working on team dynamics?"

Both of his companions gave him dry looks. "Obviously, he already knows how to work around it," Aiko drawled. "Besides, what kind of help from me could he possibly need fighting you?" She glanced at him. "Maybe he'd be desperate enough for my help if he was fighting the Hokage or something, but I sort of doubt it." She paused contemplatively. "I guess I could be a decent meat-shield for a blow or two, but I'm not very big… contrary to someone's claims earlier." She shrugged. "I could protect you from a Kage from like, your hips down," Aiko drawled.

It was only a slight exaggeration. She hadn't grown in a little over a year. Doubtlessly, even stumpy little Naruto had surpassed her.

Her shishou looked mildly amused, despite her glare. "Moving on."

'Actually, I was going to have Yamato make all the stupid mistakes and learn from a distance.' He smiled slightly underneath his mask. Honestly, how would he have learned to work around Hiraishin? He'd barely been Jounin when he'd last worked with Minato sensei. He would have to have been in ANBU to keep up in that sort of fight.

It was sort of adorable that the two in front of him deified him to such ridiculous proportions, even after he bullied them and took their lunches. There was probably something severely wrong with both of them.

"I would recommend taijutsu for you as well, Yamato," he added idly as if he'd never trailed off. "It would be a shame if you skewered Aiko." The boy glanced nervously as their kunoichi, who was displaying her usual failure to worry about the possibility of bodily harm. It was probably the biggest personality trait that linked her to her brother, but he at least had a terrifying giant demon in his gut that would feed him chakra if he was in danger. Aiko was just somewhat lacking in common sense.

That, or she trusted entirely too much that he would keep her safe from anything. That possibility was a little unnerving, so he dismissed it.

Yamato pulled his hands slightly away from his side, as if itching to make hand signs. Aiko rolled her neck in that creepy, boneless way of hers (the kid was far too flexible, even for a ninja) and fiddled with the kunai in her hands. Kakashi tucked the kunai he'd attacked the other seal to away safely in his thigh pouch. Best not to have anything sharp out.

"Let's try Chuunin level taijutsu first." He blinked at his subordinates—and then leapt backwards, dodging Yamato's premature strike and the way Aiko immediately followed, tossing her knife to his left and reappearing with a fist readied.

'Well, that's already annoying,' he noted, making a water clone in the trees and switching places with it. When the other two rushed it, he dismissed the clone and let them knock into each other in their failed, uncoordinated attempts to rush him. He didn't bother to suppress his snicker. That did mean that a moment later both of them were barreling up the side of the tree.

When he had finally tired out both of his subordinates, (and they'd stopped humorously smacking into each other) Kakashi called a halt to the practice, eying their pale-faced kunoichi warily. She was controlling her breathing in a way that indicated she was carefully modulating it to get the most oxygen possible, but not panting. It was a bit odd. He'd seen her use the Hiraishin a good forty times, which seemed to indicate that she had been practicing with the technique on her own a fair bit. That would have to end.

"Aiko, I don't want you to practice with the Hiraishin alone. Understood?"

For a moment, it looked like she was going to protest, but she nodded in acquiesce. He let a hint of warning into his tone. "I'm serious. Don't think I haven't heard that you hospitalized yourself the first time you tried."

The girl flushed bright red.

'That wasn't exactly what she told me,' he thought mulishly, not for the first time. It was hard to deny that his apprentice was growing up rapidly— she was keeping her distance (Though he didn't miss the impromptu cuddles. Really), getting a girlfriend, making the ridiculous failure in judgment that somehow allowed her to think he wouldn't take basic investigation measures like cornering Tsunade in her office and demanding access to Aiko's confidential medical information…

The Hokage hadn't even argued, which he was both pleased and disappointed by. It was less fun to make himself a nuisance if no one blinked twice at it. In fact, she'd already had the papers with her.

(He'd always been prone to finding amusement at other people's expense, but taking on the tribute of emulating Obito had provided nearly endless, light-hearted ammunition that safely steered him away from his own adolescent cruelties. Obito had always been the better person).

 

Kami, Itachi disliked that man. For him, that was a very strong expression of emotion, even if he never managed to state it outside of his head.

A deep chuckle filled the air, and Kisame leaned against the wall. He eyed his partner. "You know, we are eventually going to have to do our real jobs," he pointed out.

Itachi didn't bother to answer. He knew perfectly well that Kisame was itching for a real fight by this point. He had been avoiding working on their assigned jinchuuriki, but they would eventually have to take care of that. They would also have to provide assistance to their comrades.

He found the idea incredibly distasteful, even beyond what he had already been forced to do for Akatsuki. At least missions re-funding the treasury were much like any mission he could have performed in Konoha. Extracting bijuu was an abominable prospect, especially since every one that Madara gained only put Konoha in more danger.

At least he'd apparently stopped caring about what Sasuke did or did not do in his free time. Itachi was quite happy to discard those plans.

"You know, I don't think Sasori will wait much longer," Kisame rumbled.

He was correct, of course. They had not been pushed to hurry their capture of the jinchuuriki because they did not yet have the number and strength of personnel to conclude the extractions necessary. It would have been a wasteful effort to capture them and then keep them under constant guard until Akatsuki numbered enough S-class criminals (who were, frankly speaking, in rather short supply). But now that they had a full ten…

Doubtless, they would be brought to task if they accomplished absolutely nothing. It would be easier to volunteer his assistance to Sasori's efforts than move against Konoha's jinchuuriki.

Besides, Itachi couldn't help but morbidly hope that the mere sight of him would one day throw Deidara into such a rage that he detonated Madara.

A man could dream.

 

Kiba fidgeted, thoroughly sick of being professional. It boggled the mind that his team had been chosen for such a diplomatically sensitive mission.

'I mean, I get why it has to be done, but I don't get why it has to be us,' he groused.

Kurenai-sensei aimed a gently admonishing look at him as if she could peer directly into his soul with those red eyes of hers. Maybe she could. He huffed and kicked at the dirt.

He could accept that it was great that there was this terrible grain famine in Rock country, but-

Kiba wrinkled his brow. It sounded bad when he put it that way, but it really did make sense.

Everyone seemed to forget that he wasn't actually stupid, but he had noticed the way everyone had been on edge in the last year or so. The older population had acted as war might break out at any minute if they breathed too loudly. The aggressors in that theoretical war always seemed to be Rock and Lightning, two of the few powerful shinobi nations that didn't have some sort of alliance with Konoha. It hadn't actually gotten that far, of course, and it was starting to look like it wouldn't. No nation would be stupid enough to start a war on their own.

Rock must have been very desperate to come to the Fire Country for relief with their famine. The countries were on notoriously bad terms, two decades after hostilities officially ended. Kiba lived in one of the most prosperous agricultural countries in the world- (which was by far the largest) he had never known the possible effects of a single bad year of crops firsthand.

But he had read all about it in the Academy. More than one war had been started over a few dozen miles of fertile land, even in the lower elevations more analogous to Konoha. A place like Rock, where the climate necessarily restricted the variety of foods they could produce, was much more susceptible to being extremely affected by minor climate or social changes.

He understood why it made sense for Konoha to defang Rock by providing aid at a cost. If they didn't, Rock would still have civilians starving in the streets. When diplomatic actions failed, they would have to do something to feed their populace, even if that meant starting an unwise war. Of course, by going to Fire Country for help, popular opinion should swing somewhat in Konoha's favor, which would make it harder for the Tsuchikage to justify making trouble.

'Still don't see why they'd want a tracker team,' he pouted.

The supply caravan moving through friendly Wind Country territory now was rather large- if he'd been the one staffing it, he would have provided them with much more back up. They had a team of chuunin at the back end, but that was it. Considering how important this mission supposedly was, it felt like a rip-off.

Okay, so maybe it made a little bit of sense to have a tracker team, if only because trackers were also sensors by nature. Between his hearing, Akamaru's nose, Shino's bugs, and Hinata's creepy eyes and creepy snakes, they would know if a chipmunk sneezed twenty miles away.

But still, he grumped. This mission totally sucked.


	50. Chapter 50

Tsunade rubbed at her eyes, trying to make sense of her unusually messy report. The codes were all right, but it didn't look like Jiraiya's handwriting or sentence structure at all. She flipped the missive over, scanning to confirm her suspicion—and snorted in amusement.

"What's so funny?" Sasuke cut in, perched on her couch like a particularly awkward bird in the middle of a growth spurt. He'd been hovering lately. As soon as Jiraiya deigned to give an opinion on the seal she'd commissioned from Aiko, they would be calling in the root member Danzo had so foolishly introduced into her active forces under the guise of a mission assignment. Even if he fought to escape once he realized what was happening, with Kakashi and Tenzou in the room posing as his tentative team for a theoretical mission, Tsunade was certain the boy wouldn't have a chance to make a break for it and squeal to Danzo before they'd squeezed him for everything he had.

Of course, they were a bit reluctant to try, because if the seal didn't work, they would either have to kill this 'Sai' to hide their tracks or let him go tell Danzo they were trying to defeat his seal.

Either way, the old fart would know the game was up and make a move against her. They were currently in a stand-still, where he didn't want to act against her because he didn't know that she knew as much as she knew. So all she had to do was pretend to know less than she knew but let him know she knew enough that he didn't think she was an idiot and work to depose her to avoid being ruled by an incompetent.

It was all needlessly complicated, and Sasuke hated it. The poor boy would rather make a one-man assault on a well-respected geriatric. That would win him no political good will, to say the least. At least he understood the necessity for the deception, despite his strong desire to make a move already. That showed some self-restraint.

She considered her youngest apprentice for a moment, and then shrugged. 'He may as well make himself useful since he's lurking here.' With a flourish, she passed him the paper. His brow furrowed.

"I can't read this," he deadpanned as if he thought she was an idiot. Tsunade let her lips curl into a smirk. It wasn't really that amusing, but the expression sent his hackles up every single time. With clockwork predictability, he stiffened.

"Oh, really?" she drawled. "That was written by your old teammate, you know. Do you mean to say that you are less capable of memorizing code than Naruto?"

The boy froze. She had him cornered. His pride wouldn't let him concede intellectual defeat to Naruto, but he doubtlessly already knew that if he claimed to be just as capable, she would copy Jiraiya's lead and pass off responsibility for the reports onto her apprentice. Occasionally, the pervert had good ideas.

The amused expression plastered on her face seemed to make the decision for him. "Where's the key?" he demanded, a little crossly.

Stifling giggles, Tsunade held up a hand to signal him to wait a moment, and then scribbled out the cipher for that code on another piece of paper. She didn't have to tell him to destroy it once he'd memorized it—he had the common sense for that.

'If nothing else, I'll have adequately prepared Naruto an excellent assistant.' She glanced over at her crabby apprentice, and then had to amend, 'Though Sasuke wouldn't be half-bad at the job himself, to be honest…'

He'd have to pick up either a charismatic assistant or some social skills, but other than that, Sasuke was pretty well qualified as a baby Kage in the making. He was getting downright frighteningly good at her lightning-based techniques for scrambling nerve signals, and it was a bit hard to keep up with new and intriguing jutsu to keep him preoccupied. The boy was a hell of a worker, and refused to let his combat efficiency stagnate. It was quite impressive…

Those were thoughts for another time. She wasn't ready to retire just yet. But it was nice to know that Konoha would be well prepared, between Sasuke, Shizune, Naruto, and the ludicrously-vexing-but-qualified Hatake who would (grudgingly) step in if something were to happen to her suddenly. Hell, if push came to shove, Jiraiya would take the hat before Danzo could (but all the aforementioned people would probably have to be dead to make him admit he was absolutely needed in the office, so she secretly hoped he was never Hokage).

'Suddenly' was how ninja politics tended to go, after all. She didn't know if she wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness or cry with relief at the current situation. It was baffling that despite all the grand-standing and shoring up of resources that had been going on since it looked like the Sound village was going to push them all into the fourth great ninja war, tensions had been suddenly cut by a sheepish call for aid from one of the most hostile great powers.

Of course, some of her council had been ranting and raving about the wisdom of strengthening a nation that hated them. Tsunade understood their concerns, and might have thought it stupid herself from another perspective. It was beyond foolish to trust that a gesture of good will might soften the hearts of their old enemies and lead to reciprocation.

But she also understood that if they ever wanted to have real, lasting peace, someone had to take the leap of faith first.

Not being an idiot, she had not used that argument with the conservative faction. Instead, she had taken the pragmatic approach of pointing out that Lightning's request had been very public, in large part an attempt to strong-arm Konoha into agreeing. Refusing to give aid when they had more food than they could eat or sell to Suna would have led to immense resentment, and made it much easier for Rock and Lightning to justify a war to their populace and daimyo.

They didn't need that support to start war, of course, but it made things much easier. Resentful civilians and soldiers fighting what they viewed as someone else's war did not fight nearly as hard as a united, impassioned populace.

By the end of that point, several of her detractors had been convinced. The idea of a philosophically united populace was one of the guiding principles behind Konoha's education of their children. They couldn't very well claim both that Konoha gained immense strength from their united sensibility and that it was no cause for worry if others united against Konoha. The logic was just unsound.

"Are you entirely certain that this was written by Naruto and not a six year old?"

Her apprentice was practically moping, but she didn't feel guilty. Naruto had a very odd way of arranging his sentences—almost as if he thought they had to be arranged in a certain predictable order to have meaning. Aiko did something similar, though less pronounced, when her reports got long and she seemed to lack focus. It began with the subject, moved to the action of the sentence, and then transitioned to the object that received action, every single time, despite that it was often unnecessary or there was a colloquialism made the same point more succinctly. It was bizarre, to be sure, but at least it wasn't her problem right now.

"I am entirely certain, unless the six-year old is also more intelligent than you," she droned, turning her attention back to her work— reading a dreadfully dull and polite letter from the Daimyo reserving seats for the next Chuunin exams. They hadn't even been arranged yet. It was just idiotic to make reservations so early, though she wasn't going to say a damn thing to the Daimyo about it.

Actually, delegating information work to Sasuke gave her an idea. It had been almost two years since the last Chuunin exam in Konoha. As one of the major villages involved in their alliance (and with Grass unable to host) their turn was coming up again soon, and it had to be a big affair, co-hosted with their closest ally as a show of strength. Since the last few rounds had been in overly hostile countries, they hadn't dared to send any clan affiliated genin. That meant they had lost out on opportunities to show their abilities and powerful shinobi off to clients. The fall in public sight would have to be taken care of this time around.

Never having designed a Chuunin exam before, the idea of having to orchestrate an especially extravagant one was spectacularly unappealing. Tsunade was not looking forward to that administrative headache at all.

She could… she could just make it Sasuke's problem.

'Hell, he might even like a chance to get out of the village for a change,' Tsunade thought generously. He'd been stuck in-village for a very long time. The confinement had certainly accelerated his training, but it probably hadn't done his wanderlust any favors.

Really, it would only be kind of her to push that minor headache off onto him. She could call it a test of his diplomatic abilities. It wouldn't even be a particularly hard one—the Kazekage was barely older than Sasuke, so it wasn't like he would be matching wits with a far more experienced opponent.

Of course, she could throw the Kazekage a lot further than she trusted him with her adorable little apprentice, so he would need at least two bodyguards, and at least one of them had to be scary enough to frighten off all but the most determined of attackers. That was probably going to have to be Sharingan No Kakashi (who was admittedly intimidating if you'd never met the man in person and found out just how undignified he was). That team could easily be filled out with Hatake's little apprentice—it would keep them from whining about the separation and also let them easily reproduce their old team dynamics. Those three should work together well. Despite not being in the business of putting friends together, Tsunade often found it made sense to form teams of people who knew each other well as often as possible. There was less jockeying for position and awkwardness caused by not knowing how to work as a unit that way.

Tsunade made a mental note to try putting Naruto back on that same team whenever he finally returned to Konoha. Two Uzumaki and two Sharingan users could be downright terrifying team, if they had any chemistry at all.

But that was a concern for a later time.

 

At times like this, it was hard not to face-palm. Aiko exchanged a pained look with Tenten, who gave an apologetic shrug, looking mildly amused instead of slightly miserable as Aiko felt. The juxtaposition didn't give her a lot of hope that they should be spending more time together.

'To be fair, she couldn't have known that Gai would decide we needed to be chaperoned if we were working out together,' she tried to convince herself. After all, it was a weird idea. What did he think they were going to get up to on a training field?

Maybe it wasn't really about chaperoning them. He seemed genuinely excited for Tenten… So it could be that he didn't want to miss a vital stage in one of his student's lives and didn't know how to express that without Youth and Training.

When she considered what she knew of Gai's personality, it almost made a sick sort of sense that he'd decided to make their training dates into 'Team Training Plus Aiko'. He was attempting to promote togetherness. Really, he was a great guy.

It was just a little harder to remember that when she found herself tripping over Lee while he zoomed around making declarations and cartwheels (no lie, he was a hell of an acrobat), Gai egged him on and gave Tenten 'quiet' advice in a booming voice under a goddamn rainbow (it was scarring for all) and Neji glared at her with his creepy eyes. There was still no love lost there—he had been a total jerk to her in years past, and they'd never mended bridges. What's more, he seemed totally uninterested in making friends.

In short, Aiko hated working out with their entire team. It was far too crowded and noisy and hectic and she started to feel claustrophobic because she couldn't leave early—it would be rude.

She moped a little. 'Maybe that's why Gai is doing this?' Her gaze flickered to the man in question, who appeared deceptively clueless as always. Aiko would not be surprised if he was making the point that Tenten came as a unit with her team, and if Aiko couldn't handle that, the relationship would fail. It was a good lesson, but not one that she particularly appreciated since the girls had basically decided they wanted to be make-out friends. They didn't know each other well enough to commit to anything serious yet, but they had both really liked that part. For Aiko's part, making out like silly teens (which they were, she had to remind herself) had been an excellent remedy to suddenly having the biological drive to match the sexual maturity her mind had already possessed. She'd been much more relaxed in the days since and would definitely not turn down a repeat if offered.

'But imagine explaining that to Gai?'

Aiko shuddered. No, she couldn't blame Tenten for avoiding that conversation, (if she'd even come to the same conclusion Aiko had).

To be fair, he had an excellent point, if he really was trying to illustrate that Tenten might not be a good match for her if she didn't like having to deal with the team dynamics all the time. Tenten's attention had wavered to her teammates the moment they had showed up, and barely flickered back to Aiko since. They were a tightly-knit group.

She was a little jealous, to be frank. Back when she had first graduated, Aiko had thoroughly expected to have that kind of team bond for herself. She didn't regret becoming Kakashi's apprentice instead, but it had sort of cheated her of that experience. Lately, she was finally getting something similar with Kakashi and Yamato, but she hadn't deluded herself into thinking they were really equals for any reason other than that Kakashi acted as though they were, taking input from his team and letting them lead at times. Come crunch time, she was the baby of the team and she knew it.

'Don't whine,' she chided herself. 'And let's be honest: I don't think this is going to work out.'

The idea of having to fight for Tenten's attention was not remotely appealing. Aiko didn't want to begrudge the other girl those close bonds, of course, but she also thought that she deserved to come first in someone's priorities. (Or at least rate higher than 'fourth, possibly lower depending on her other friends and family').

No matter how much she admired Gai-senpai as a master of her profession and interesting human being, she didn't want to spend that much time with him. The whole affair was a major turn-off.

Tenten looked a little crushed when she escaped in a shunshin with a faux-cheerful wave as soon as practice was done, but she just couldn't handle the noise anymore. As if to get the stink of human socialization off her person, she immediately walked to the shower, holding a hand up rudely to cut off whatever Karin tried to talk about. Her cousin raised a skeptical eyebrow, but shrugged and continued walking into her room.

Karin had probably been trying to tell Aiko that she was going out, because the door slammed about four minutes after Aiko barricaded herself in the bathroom and took a long shower. "Oh well," she breathed, barely hearing her own voice over the muffle of falling water. "I'm sure it wasn't important." Before washing, she took the time to stretch, rolling her ankles one at a time, clasping her hands behind her back, and then just barely managing to brush her fingertips against the ceiling. She held the pose along with her breath— and then collapsed into a relaxed posture with a whoosh. Almost absentmindedly, she reached for one of the really nice scented shampoos. Then she frowned and put it back, picking up one of her own.

"That's got to be the weirdest nervous habit ever," she muttered to herself, tersely massaging the plainer stuff into her hair.

It made some small amount of sense—she was trained as a tracker, and it was harder to work and hide if her own scent was overpowering the trail. Therefore, being able to smell like apple or passionfruit or whatever she stole from Karin subconsciously reassured her mind that she was off the clock, so to speak. So, whenever she was feeling nervous, she subconsciously acted as though the main source of her stress (work) wasn't a problem.

In theory, she didn't mind the habit. But it didn't do to get too predictable. That was one of the hardest ninja guidelines for her to follow. Aiko liked habit and procedure (even if those habits were lazy, unconventional ones, they were still habits).

"What the-"

Aiko cursed under her breath resentfully, holding a hand to her head. She'd startled and jumped when she felt the bizarre sensation of one of her active seals moving quickly without her consent.

That was the worst drawback of the training session she'd had yesterday with her team. At the time, she had thought it very practical and intelligent for Kakashi to tell her to give one to him and Yamato for safekeeping. In theory, it would allow her to meet either of them at a moment's notice, essentially providing her with an instant escape from any trouble she got into without them.

But in practice, it totally sucked. Feeling the chakra signals pinging at all hours of the day was incredibly distracting. (which was why she tended to destroy old ones instead of re-using them). It got a little more manageable proportional to how far away they were, but that also meant they would be harder to reach, so it was hard to feel pleased about that. To her knowledge, there was no limit to the distance she could use the Hiraishin as long as she had a seal, but there was apparently more of a physical toll on the user when they underwent a severe change in environment. It made sense, but it also made her wary of abruptly transitioning climates or elevations.

'At least it'll be much easier to play hide and seek with shishou,' she thought with black humor. She did feel like a gigantic creep for being able to reach his location at any time of the day, no matter where he was.

She momentarily entertained a horrific vision of accidentally coming to find him when he was in the shower or spending time with Gai or in a meeting above her clearance level. (They were varying levels of embarrassing and/or unpleasant, but all still valid scenarios she wanted to avoid).

And that was only if she guessed correctly and didn't end up invading Yamato's personal space instead. Last night, keeping them apart had been relatively simple.

When she couldn't stop noting their movements yesterday, it might have actually been more difficult to forget who was who. But after she went to sleep and discovered that they were both awake and outside before she was, telling them apart was much more difficult. For some reason, it really annoyed her to sense them moving around and not know who was who. It wouldn't be a big deal if she were Karin, for example, whose chakra sense was so refined that she used it to navigate almost as much as her sight. Karin would probably be able to tell not only who was who, but exactly where they were. Aiko just had a vague sense that they were moving closer and further to her.

'I suppose I could figure it out by following one around to find out where they live.'

It would set her mind at ease, but it was a silly idea. Such a thing would both be difficult and dangerously reinforce the impression that she was a stalker. Being able to get to her teammates at any time was a huge responsibility, and they were both somewhat private people who would resent her if she misused it.

No matter how much her shishou liked her, he wouldn't tolerate her hanging about at all hours, she was certain.

The next time they had team practice two days later was a bit weird—they didn't give her back her seals. Instead, they took turns being the enemy. While they sparred, she practiced using the seals on her ally's person to swoop in and offer assistance.

When the exercise was described, it sounded easy. The first round was her and Yamato against Kakashi. She managed to pull on the correct connection (an extra impediment that she would almost certainly not have to deal with in a real fight). The good news was that she materialized exactly where she had intended to.

The bad news was that she had moved in accordance with where he had been, and not anticipated where he was starting to move. She ended up directly in his path.

Aiko had just enough time to look to her left at his startled face, cringe, and realize, 'This isn't going to end well.'

Yamato's momentum knocked her clean over onto her hands and knees and sent him flipping over her back, inadvertently giving her a hard kick in the hip and side of her torso on the way. Involuntarily, she whimpered and dropped, turning the motion into a roll to the right and popping back up to her feet. Yamato had regained his balance just as quickly, but he still looked a bit startled.

"Well, that's one way to do it," drawled the enemy shinobi, who was as of yet completely unhit. They hadn't really menaced him enough to make him move yet, really.

"Oh, shut up, senpai." Yamato grumbled a bit, flushing.

The next few times weren't much better, but she eventually got the hang of it… and only occasionally got in her ally's way. It felt a bit like she imagined it would be to be a cat twining around someone's ankles—always underfoot.

She thought that Yamato was going to laugh himself sick when she finally managed to topple Kakashi the way that she'd knocked him over the first time. (Somewhat suspiciously, he had only agreed to be the ally when it seemed that she had improved her technique.) Aiko would have to belay the amusement until a time when she wasn't black and blue from inadvertent kicks and getting knocked around.

It only took a few hours for the undoubtedly useful but also embarrassing practice to be deemed sufficient progress. Yamato gratefully hobbled off when Kakashi released them (doubtlessly not excited about whatever sadistic idea he would dream up next).

Aiko, on the other hand, collapsed to the grass without even caring about the rocks digging into her legs and back. What was Yamato pouting about—he'd only been involved in about half of the collisions. She was just about grateful enough for a chance to stop pushing herself to use the Hiraishin again and again to want to cry. The slow, deliberate breathing that she had found minimized the discomfort and oxygen loss associated with the Hiraishin was much harder when her chest was aching (though she didn't even know what tumble in particular had led to that hurt).

The strain of her actual technique seemed even worse when she had to make such specific landings, half of which ended with her either colliding into a full-grown man (not a comfortable proposition) or getting bowled over by one moving quickly (significantly worse. Yamato had to be at least sixty percent elbows and knees, she'd swear it in court. And no matter how cute Kakashi-shishou was, Aiko wasn't exactly fond of smacking her head into his ribs or knocking his legs out from under him. At one point, he'd actually been forced to sit on her when she collided with his knees).

'For some reason, I didn't think Hiraishin would be this much of a pain.' Something twinged in her back, and she winced. 'If I'd known it was going to be like this, I'd…' she trailed off that train of thought, realizing that she would have learned it anyways. The Hiraishin had too much potential for even these inconveniences to outweigh the potential benefits.

'It would probably be for the best if we never spoke of this practice again,' Aiko mused. That was just plain undignified, is what it was.

"Ow!" She jerked away from the sandaled foot that lightly nudged her side, and then glared up at the man attached to it.

Of course, the practice wasn't really done until she'd escaped her taskmaster.

Kakashi knelt by her side, apparently torn between amusement and what little sympathy he could muster. "Come on, get up." A large, warm hand gently rested on her shoulder as if to shake her. "If you're that bad off, then you should get to the hospital."

She scrunched up her nose in disgust. The hospital was foul. It stank, the humming of machinery gave her a headache, and there was something very disturbing about not being allowed to leave a building. She was an adult—if she wanted to leave, she was going to, damnit, no matter what some stupid nurse said.

It wasn't an attitude that went over well with Konoha's fine medical professionals, although it was a pretty common one.

'How about I not go there ever again unless I'm about to bleed out?'

Instead of verbally replying, she stuck her tongue out at her shishou and made her way to her feet, determined not to sway or look like she needed medical attention. He seemed a bit long-suffering at her idiocy, but stuffed his hands into his pockets and lurked at her left shoulder.

"I think I'll just take a nap," she demurred, stiffly brushing off her clothes.

"Really." His voice was dry. It gave her a bad feeling, knowing his sense of humor as she did, but she still didn't manage to intercept the single extended finger that poked her in the ribs. She didn't bother to hide her cringe—he would know anyways. He always did. Instead, she hissed at him irritably and swiped at his hand, turning to stomp away. "Saa, don't be like that," he called from behind her, obviously amused by her irritability.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, you're right, I'm going to go stop by and get my ribs looked at. Jerk." Aiko carefully enunciated with no hostility in her tone.

"Be sure you do. We have a mission tomorrow."

Surprised, she blinked up at him. "Did you already tell Yamato?" She hadn't heard them have the discussion (and because of her creepy new ability, she knew that they hadn't spoken before practice that day).

Kakashi shook his head, yawning idly. "No. He's not coming."

Aiko opened her mouth to respond—and then huffed irritably at the empty space where he'd been until a minute ago. Damn, that was annoying when other people did it.

The Hokage explained things in much more detail the following morning. They were going to Sand, escorting Sasuke. He was meant to be beginning the collaborative planning of the Chuunin exams next year.

That tugged at something in her memory, but Aiko just wasn't sure what. She had the uneasy feeling it had something to do with Akatsuki. Weren't they supposed to start acting up after Naruto came back to Konoha? Of course, that was assuming that he came back to Konoha at the right time. It could be that he would come back early, or come back late and be unable to go with team seven to provide backup to Suna.

That was, of course, contingent on whether or not the same thing happened… and whether team seven was the one selected to go at that time.

Since Naruto had left, Aiko had tried to remember exactly how they should know that Suna was in trouble, but it just wouldn't come to her. No matter how she thought of it, it seemed illogical that they would have any chance to get there in time to provide assistance. Even for upper level shinobi, the trip couldn't be made in a single day. How on earth would it be possible to know about Suna's problems in time to save Gaara? Aiko would really rather not leave it to chance and hope that Gaara would be saved even if the One-Tail was extracted.

No… she'd rather it didn't become an issue at all.

But that would require a nearly instantaneous way to 'find out' that Suna was in trouble.

If she could have, Aiko would have slapped her forehead. 'Now might be a good time to test how those seals work over long distances, or to weatherproof and stash a few on the way to Suna, just in case the entire distance is too much.'

If she gave someone in Suna a seal—Temari or Gaara, for instance – they could be instructed to cover it in a chakra flare if they needed help. According to what Minato had said, that would tug on her connection to the seal and let her know that someone wanted her attention. If that 'instantaneous warning' worked out, then she could get her team moving to Suna much faster than the canon version.

Rather pleased with herself for coming up with a potential solution to a half-remembered problem, Aiko took the opportunity Tsunade gave the team to pack appropriately for Suna and included a fair bit of blank paper and ink in her supplies. She had a feeling she'd been needing some of it.


	51. Chapter 51

'Damn, Sasuke's gotten out of shape,' Aiko noted.

To be fair, in most aspects he'd shown significant improvement in his shinobi skill set. He hit terrifyingly hard, had encyclopedic medical knowledge (even if he couldn't treat more than the basics for any number of ailments outside his specialties), and all-around seemed to be a much more well-rounded, mentally stable individual than he had been the last time she'd worked with him. Working with Tsunade as he did, he was also remarkably skilled at evading hits, a frustrating fact that dragged out their occasional morning spars for far too long.

But the long confinement in the village hadn't done any favors for his stamina. It was pretty obvious that although he'd devoted a significant amount of time to speed conditioning, he hadn't been doing the really long endurance runs that would have prepared him for this type of mission.

Behind his back, Aiko exchanged an unsure look with Kakashi's mildly amused and indulgent one. Having Sasuke on point allowed them to easily keep an eye on his pace and state… and kept him from seeing them assessing his condition. It was largely to save his pride. Normally a sensor should take the front, but Kakashi was skilled enough that it didn't really matter where he stood in formation.

Besides, they were at least nominally his subordinates for this mission, in a way. A visiting ninja dignitary was meant to be formidable in their own right—generally more powerful than their bodyguards who accompanied them.

In practice, Sasuke was a bit more like a civilian client being escorted than a visiting Kage with bodyguards, but they were meant to at least give the impression that he had significant authority. If he didn't actually have any clout, sending him could be seen as an insult to the Kage he was meant to be dealing with… if they had a stick up their ass about that sort of thing, anyway. It wasn't like Gaara would care. He just wanted to get shit done. But other Kage might care in future, so even if this specific deception was unnecessary the practice might serve Sasuke well in later endeavors. Even being the Hokage's apprentice didn't give him any real authority over anyone above his ranking and experience. Seeing as how he was still technically a genin… Well.

'It's probably a little weird to be arranging the Chuunin exams he's going to be participating in.' She pressed her lips into a thin line, forcing down the smile. Would he even be allowed to? It might make more sense for Tsunade to give him a field promotion. But if she were to do that, he'd have to do some actual fieldwork. The Hokage seemed strangely reluctant to allow that.

Aiko wasn't certain why—it wouldn't be hard for Sasuke to demonstrate Chuunin competency. He was easily a rank above genin. He probably would have made Chuunin at the last exams as an absolute rookie if it hadn't been for Orochimaru. Roughly two years later it was a hilarious joke that he was a genin. She rather imagined that Naruto would be the same way when he finally made his way home.

(Aiko took a moment to wish he'd come home soon. She wasn't sure about the timeline, but she'd hoped he'd be back in Konoha before their rapidly approaching fifteenth birthday).

At least Sasuke didn't complain about the pace, despite his obvious fatigue. He did pretty much collapse the instant that they had set up camp and choked down rations, however. That left Kakashi to run the perimeter check while Aiko combined the first watch with setting up traps for the night. A soft snuffle from Sasuke's bedroll caught her attention. She had to smile when she looked over. 'Damn, he's adorable.' She didn't know how Shizune kept a straight face all the time—Sasuke was just such a cutie that she had to bite her lip every time he made a grumpy face. Right now, though, he appeared too worn out to be properly sassy. That was an unusual state of affairs, to say the least.

'The poor, tired boy.' She almost felt guilty that they'd pushed him too hard, but they did have a deadline to make. Gaara was a sweetheart, but it still wouldn't do to be late without a damn good reason.

"He'll be fine." Kakashi settled down next to his pack with what had to be an intentional rustle of his clothing. If he hadn't thought about it, the movement would probably have been silent. He was just that good.

"I know." Aiko unconsciously mimicked her mentor, changing her pose from 'crossed legs' so that one leg was bent, her left toes nestling under the knee of the straight leg. "How long are the watches tonight?"

He hmmed thoughtfully. "Wake me in three." She nodded, scanning the horizon and patting the strings attached to her alarm system while he lazily dragged his own blanket over his body and flopped over as if he was going to instantly fall asleep. Aiko suppressed a wince—if she had to choose between sleeping on the ground with a blanket above or sleeping on a blanket without a covering… Well, it was a hard choice, one that Kakashi seemed to make nonchalantly. He probably didn't want the loss of mobility from making the blanket into a roll. It was sensible, but it wasn't the only logical solution to the problem...

"Want mine for now?" she offered, patting her own (still folded) blanket sitting on top of her pack where she'd left it after she unsealed her night kit. "It's not like I'm going to use it until you get up, anyway."

He turned just enough to peer at her when he cracked open one eye, but didn't reply. Aiko rolled her own eyes and just tossed the damn thing to him. "It almost physically pains me to see you sleeping directly on the ground," she explained briefly with a shudder. "So gross."

Granted, he didn't seem to care about his hair at all, but she just got the heebie jeebies at the thought of insects getting in hers while she slept.

Kakashi sounded amused when he pointed out that, "It's not like a blanket will really do much to keep off bugs and germs." But he did catch the blanket and readjust his position, using his bedroll directly on the ground and pulling hers over his body. "You just want to steal my body heat when you get to go to bed," he teased in a tone of sudden discovery.

By now, she was mostly immune to his teasings. "You got me," Aiko said dryly. "That's exactly my wicked plan, and you're playing right into it."

He made to reply, but-

"Oh shut up," Sasuke muttered into his own bedroll, lifting his face just enough to glare sleepily at them with one red eye.

"Aye aye, captain," Kakashi snickered, closing his own eye and appearing to pass out instantly.

Aiko rolled her eyes at both of them and dismissed the conversation, but couldn't help but notice when her watch ended that Kakashi hadn't been wrong about her benefitting from his body heat. They weren't even into the desert properly, but she was ridiculously relieved to crawl inside and pass out.

A good night's sleep did wonders for Sasuke's temper—and by that Aiko meant that it was returned to normal. Granted, his attitude may have been influenced by the fact that they were set to spend another day running. Once again, he was flagging throughout the all-day run and gradually their breaks became slightly longer every time they stopped to stretch and have a drink. Aiko spotted Kakashi keeping a sharp eye on Sasuke for signs of dehydration or excess exhaustion. Their genin escort was clearly unused to the dry desert air and not particularly pleased by the environment.

To be fair, it was frighteningly foreign from the perspective of someone raised in Konoha's forests. Sasuke wasn't one to complain, never had been, but the face he allowed himself to make when he saw Suna (Aiko realized was the first time for him, wasn't it?) was hilarious. He expertly wiped it off his face before the gate guards waved them up to check their papers and let them in.

'Has she just been slated as their official liaison to Konoha already or what?' Aiko wondered when the Chuunin that left while their documents were verified returned with Temari. It made sense—there couldn't possibly be that many qualified shinobi who Gaara personally trusted enough for the role—but that girl must be ridiculously overworked.

"Welcome to Suna," the girl in question drawled, sounding less enthusiastic than her words implied. "The Kazekage thanks you for making the journey. Please, let me lead you to the diplomatic quarters where you will be staying."

Sasuke nodded stiffly and made to follow, but Aiko teasingly raised an eyebrow at the older girl when they began to walk.

"That's pretty cold. Hi to you too, Temari-san. You're looking well."

She was—the sand kunoichi had changed her work outfit since they'd worked together on the border only a few months back. She seemed to like purple and had retained elements of that hue, but she was actually in a dark blue skirt instead of the one-piece outfit she'd had before.

Temari nodded politely. "You are as well, Aiko-san." Somewhat uncomfortably, she noted the other girl making a similar up-and-down of her apparel. It seemed dull in comparison to Temari's—she'd found light grey pants and a long sleeved shirt for the trip to avoid soaking in too much sun. Both of her companions in dark blue could suffer if they liked (and Kakashi was in that god-awfully heavy Chuunin vest as well!) but she had dressed plainly and minimally.

Then Temari seemed to examine the other two for the first time. "Are you Uchiha Sasuke?" The question was politely disinterested (as well as a bit confusing, hadn't they already been introduced at the exam?) but the widened eyes and slight blush that Temari sported when she eyed Sasuke like he was 150 pounds of eye candy were definitely not disinterested.

Aiko resisted the urge to cackle. 'Temari, I didn't know you were a cougar,' she purred internally. The other girl had to be like, three years older than poor Sasuke.

She wasn't judging, of course. Given half a chance, Aiko would give into urges that were far more shocking. It was just that Sasuke did not seem prepared for displays of sexual interest from such a mature specimen of kunoichi. He deflected answering by way of a grunt and turning away in apparent disinterest. It was probably awkwardness, but it did the trick and Temari snapped back into professionalism. "And Hatake-san, of course."

'She seems much more careful to be respectful of him than us,' Aiko noted with some amusement. It made sense, but it was still funny to see Temari looking nervous around someone she knew to be so mild natured outside of combat.

'How would she know that, though? The last time we saw her, our whole team was on edge. We definitely did not make the best impression possible.'

"Indeed. Lead away, Temari-san."

Kakashi might have been thinking something similar, because that was almost unusually friendly for him.

They didn't have their first appointment with Gaara until two days later. It was frustrating and meant that they were cooped up, but they didn't exactly have the option of demanding an earlier audience. Waiting was just part of how these things seemed to go.

Aiko did her best to look impassive and alert when they were finally led to a conference room and placed on the opposite side of the long table as the head where the Kazekage would sit.

It was a bit pointed—it placed them furthest from the center of the room, and implied that all of the council were of higher importance. Later meetings might be less formal, but at least this first one included a panel of Sunagakure's elders in addition to Gaara and his siblings, who were apparently serving as his bodyguards/personal council. (It stank a bit of nepotism, but ehhhh).

She knew better than to speak up in front of a group like that and undermine Sasuke's authority where it was already respected little. But she would be paying close attention so that she could point out anything he missed later—either to him, or to Gaara himself.

'Getting this mission was a lucky break,' she mused, watching the room fill up. 'I mean, I suppose I could have asked Tsunade to send Gaara a seal as a mark of trust or something, but I'd really rather keep this simple.'

She didn't particularly like the idea of letting a seal out of her reach in unknown hands more than absolutely necessary. If someone intercepted it… well. It didn't bear thinking about just how much trouble she could be in if she attempted to flash cross-continent (which would almost certainly strain her ability to flash again until she'd acclimated) to Gaara's side and found herself surrounded by hostiles who had an idea how her technique worked. Kakashi had been right—for as long as possible, she should make sure that anyone who knew about her technique was either trustworthy beyond doubt or dead.

Aiko didn't mind Kakashi and Yamato having copies of her seal, as they were her team and both highly formidable shinobi. But she would prefer not to have anymore placed in the hands of people that might not be able to protect them. She vaguely hoped that no one would ask why she wouldn't give the seal to Temari or Kankuro who she knew better than Gaara after their long posting—it would be embarrassing for them if she had to admit that she didn't trust their strength.

Aiko felt comfortable that her logic was sound, and that Tsunade would have approved it if she'd thought to mention the idea in time. Their mission briefing had made it clear that Suna and Konoha's relationship wasn't in doubt, and Tsunade wanted to bind them together in every way possible. That was a large part of why they were here in the first place.

The stated reason for requesting Suna's aid with this upcoming exam and other things was a desire to strengthen and publically display their alliance, but it wasn't the only logic. Suna was considerably weaker and poorer than Konoha. Scratching out an existence in the desert was hard, brutal work, doubtlessly made more so because they lacked in both clients and active forces. It wasn't a coincidence that one of the requests Tsunade had for this mission was that they secure contracts for Konoha to pay Suna shinobi to serve as security and organizers for the upcoming exam.

It was veiled charity, but also a cold, logical decision to improve Suna's standing so that they could be more powerful allies and therefore more useful to Konoha. Constant income from safe postings would help Suna regain their feet. If at all possible, they were to get Gaara to agree to other forms of aid, like Konoha supplementing their border forces.

As much as that all sounded like solid policy that Gaara would snap up in an instant, affairs were unfortunately more complicated than they would seem. Konoha was already supplying a great deal of aid to Suna in the form of food relief that took stress off of Suna's coffers.

Despite their Kages' genial relationship, Suna as a whole did not have especially fond feelings to Konoha. Taking charity from a perceived enemy would sting the pride of any shinobi nation. One that prided itself on enduring against horrible odds (in a godforsaken desert with no natural resources except poisonous animals that cost them considerable numbers of their own genin and civilians, mind) was especially prone to posturing. It was an old-fashioned train of thought, but unfortunately it was still a powerful one. Many people in Konoha held similar sentiments about a village's self-sufficiency.

Regardless of their ideological differences, Tsunade and Gaara were both very committed to an alliance that was more than amiable—they were talking about permanent peace between the nations. That would require a lot of work and engendered positive feelings. It was not something that could be settled in a day.

So, they were intentionally avoiding topics that might be perceived as charity in these public sessions. Team Kakashi knew perfectly well that this meeting was a necessity to pacify Suna's stuffy important old people. The real politicking would hopefully be done with Gaara in a more private setting, once these people had been satisfied as to their own importance.

Sasuke had accordingly come armed with a ridiculous amount of very boring things to talk about very politely. Only an hour into discussion, Aiko had to fight to keep her eyes from glazing over. It would have been easier to stay focused by ignoring the babble altogether and just concentrate on keeping an eye out for threats, but she unfortunately had to pay attention to conversation. She learned far more than she really wanted to about trade schedules and setting criteria for promotions (apparently, the Elders didn't trust Gaara's impartiality after he went and informed them that he and his siblings had all been promoted after his own exams. It was a fair enough criticism, if a bit petty to be dragging out as dirty laundry in public).

'It's amazing that these people can make a five minute conversation last two hours,' she marveled silently.

It wasn't like Konoha was probably any better, of course. Tsunade's personal council was relatively efficient, but even she couldn't get around the startling ineptitude of the large council. Powerful family heads (both shinobi and civilian), the leaders of various merchant guilds, well-respected retired shinobi or politicians, and even a few nobles from the Daimyo's court all jockeyed for position and influence.

Luckily, they didn't meet very often. They were probably also treated much like this one—pacified with comparatively minor issues to soothe their egos. Anyone whose voice was really respected or relevant would be sought out on an individual basis.

As was tradition, the first to leave the meeting room was the Kazekage and his escort. At that point the room broke down into quiet conversation. Sasuke intentionally remained in his seat when the meeting was over, letting the locals give him curious glances as they quietly filed out. As if he'd gotten a message, Gaara and his siblings re-entered the room after everyone else had filed out of their seats, startling a couple lingering to chat in the door into hustling out.

For the first time, Sasuke slowly bowed his head… but not so much that he couldn't maintain eye contact.

"That's not necessary." Temari winced, but Gaara pulled out a seat across from Sasuke and casually sat, abandoning all decorum and procedure. Aiko had to force down a smile. "Please forgive us for the pretense. If you are not too tired, we would like to continue discussion."

"Not at all," Kakashi spoke up for the first time, taking a seat at Sasuke's right and nodding for Aiko to pull out a chair on his left. Temari and Kankuro similarly flanked Gaara, seated so that Kankuro was directly across from Aiko. That either meant that Aiko had misinterpreted the dynamics between the siblings, or that they didn't care for procedure at all.

'Or possibly that they thought it was more important for their canniest member to keep a close eye on Kakashi than it was to display that Temari is Gaara's right hand,' she allowed.

The smirk on Kankuro's face told her that she wasn't going to figure out their motivation without more clues, so she gave it up as a bad job and intentionally relaxed her posture. It wouldn't do to seem hostile or nervous around these three even if she had been—they were trying to portray themselves as true allies, not friends of convenience waiting for an opportunity to stab the other in the back.

It wasn't hard, because she really did trust these three to the extent she trusted anyone outside of her team. Kankuro and Temari were hard to get a read on, but she trusted that even if they were malicious, they were committed enough to Sand's interests that Gaara's genuine good feelings would keep them friendly.

She spared an open smile for Gaara, who didn't seem to know how to respond. Instead of giving a corresponding expression, he slowly nodded at her before turning back to Sasuke.

"Hey." Kankuro hissed, leaning across the table to whisper while Sasuke and Gaara began to talk. "How are you doing, red?"

Aiko stuck her tongue out playfully at the older boy. "I should ask you that," she murmured quietly, leaning her chin onto a palm. "Last time I saw you, you were bleeding out your gut."

He grimaced. "Yeah. That sucked. I was on light duty for weeks."

Her eyebrows shot straight up, but she managed to politely not share her first thought, being that it was, "Your medics must be really terrible".

The resigned amusement in his eyes implied he knew her thoughts anyways. Konoha was famous for their medical programs and the quality of the shinobi and civilian practitioners that they produced. It had only gotten better in the time since Tsunade had taken office and prioritized funding for her personal projects.

Gaara's rumble caught her attention. "I'm afraid that won't go over well."

"Is that a no?" Sasuke asked in an air of disinterest.

Aiko had to resist the urge to snort. 'Sasuke, there's no point in playing mind games here. He knows you're invested in this project, and he appreciates bluntness.'

She couldn't blame him, though. It was his first chance to apply what he'd been learning at Tsunade's knee.

"No," Gaara admitted easily. "I think that both propositions are sound. But my citizens will not look fondly on Konoha pitying us twice by paying our shinobi to perform safe work and sending medics to improve the hospital."

Aiko suppressed a twitch. Seriously? The answer to that problem was obvious.

Kakashi expressed her thoughts with flawless grace. "The problem is one of rhetoric, not the actual practice."

Both the boys had turned to look at him, but Temari had already picked up his train of thought with a nod. "He's right. We just need to frame this as an equal exchange rather than two gifts from Konoha. It might not even hurt to make it look like you somehow wrangled beneficial concessions out of Konoha," she added dryly. Kankuro suppressed a snicker at some private joke.

Gaara just nodded gravely. "The idea is sound. But if we were to do that, the exchange would have to seem equal or we would run into the same issue."

"We could easily work in the issue of our mutual border," Sasuke pointed out. "We cannot hope to send you as many medics as we would like in security forces, but we could send an equal number to replace numbers pulled from your side of the border. By having equal numbers of shinobi exchanged, it just looks like a mutual gesture of goodwill and shared strength."

Aiko looked directly at Gaara, opened her mouth to speak… and pressed her lips together to stop the thought that came up from spilling out. She'd bring it up later. For some reason, she wasn't keen on the idea of interfering publically (even in so small a dialogue.) She would really rather prefer an opportunity to speak to Gaara alone… Even if she eventually chose to tell Sasuke about her Hiraishin, that didn't mean that she would feel comfortable telling Temari and Kankuro as well.

Clever Temari caught the motion, raising an eyebrow skeptically in question. She kept an eye on Aiko while the conversation moved on.

"That is a valid possibility," Gaara allowed. "But I would feel more comfortable discussing the addition after we have decided on the exchange of medical personnel."

That was a topic Sasuke was well-prepared to discuss. It was going to be run two ways. First, Suna would be sending low-level medics to Konoha for training and to work on various skills in the hospital there (while serving as staff in whatever capacity they were qualified to do, providing Konoha with extra labor). A few specialists from Konoha would be simultaneously leant to Suna to improve the quality of the shinobi who would be training future iryo-nin, as well as a few talented civilian administrators to overhaul and make the actual facility more efficient. The exchange benefitted both hospitals (though Suna's disproportionately) and maintained enough staff at both locations to keep them running smoothly during the transition.

The program would also be a valuable tool for engendering positive relations. Exposing so many people to the other side of the alliance in a daily capacity would help tie the villages together. It was hard to think of people you actually knew as faceless foreigners, after all.

She actually let herself give a smile when Kankuro thought to specify that they get a poisons expert. Temari gave her a suspicious look, not seeing the humour, but Aiko didn't feel a need to clarify.

From what she understood, Konoha only had a handful of poison specialists, but the ones that they did have were excellent. Aiko knew that, because several of them had been Karin's mentors in some capacity. Tsunade and Shizune were probably the best – they were the best in Konoha's medical system at many procedures due to Tsunade's sheer genius and Shizune's decade of private instruction—but they were closely followed by a few older individuals… and in that one small field, Karin, who did a downright shocking amount of funded lab work with rare venoms and only spent her required hospital time on-call for any necessary poison extractions. As the only person on the list of specialists without real political clout or more important things to do, Karin was probably going to get stuck posted in Suna for half a year trying to pass on what she knew.

The girl would not be pleased.

By the time they had hashed all of that out, it was late. Gaara stood and strode out first, Sasuke on his heels and Kankuro next. Kakashi was aware enough that both kunoichi were lingering to give them a purposeful look, but dutifully kept close to Sasuke while the group trailed out the door.

Once they were seemingly far enough behind, Temari leaned into Aiko's side and muttered, "You looked like you had something to say back there."

'Clever girl.'

Aiko nodded. "Yes, but I was hoping to speak to Gaara about it." Kakashi twitched slightly, but Aiko had already known he could hear their conversation. Kakashi had sharp senses on the worst of days. Temari eyed her carefully, but gave a short nod.

Conversation clearly over, Aiko picked up the pace to stay with her group and led their momentum carry her back to their suite. Sasuke seemed completely oblivious that he had missed something, but Kakashi kept an eye on her until it was time to go to bed. "First watch again, Aiko?" he asked casually. She nodded, letting him take what he would from the motion.

He probably knew that she would be waiting out on the balcony to see if Gaara stopped by. The boy didn't sleep, after all. If Temari was going to arrange a remotely private conversation, it would have to be at night.

The Kazekage either had excellent timing or someone watching their building, because he appeared in a quiet rush of sand after she had only been outside for a few minutes. They regarded each other silently for a moment—and then Aiko grinned, channeling her inner Uzumaki. "Hi there." She didn't let his wordless reaction inconvenience her. Things seemed to work well with Gaara when she overwhelmed him with personality and words. "So, that was whole heaps of fun, right? Haven't seen you in forever." She adjusted, leaning up against the railing and intentionally averting her eyes. "You know, Naruto mentions your conversations a lot in his letters."

It was true. She felt like she knew the guy a lot more than he knew her.

Aiko turned to catch his expression. He looked mildly stunned by the information that Naruto talked about him. "I worry about him," she confided quietly. "I'm sure you know about the suspicion that Akatsuki is after the tailed beasts, right?"

"Yes." Gaara shifted, sand swirling gently around their ankles. "I do know."

"Are you worried?" she asked quietly. It was clear that she wasn't just talking about Naruto. Gaara didn't seem to understand her train of thought, frowning slightly.

"I am concerned with Suna's welfare, not my own," he eventually deflected.

It was the reply she'd prepared for. "Aren't the two connected?" She gave a small smile to soften the statement, and let her fingers trail to her leg holster. He clearly caught the motion, back stiffening and eyes narrowing. It was understandable—it was generally considered rude to reach for weapons in the presence of a Kage.

"This is something I'm keeping quiet, but I'd feel a lot better if you had one."

With slow, deliberate motions, she drew out a single marked kunai and held it out to him hilt first.

At this point, he really did look confused and a bit off-kilter. "I have my own weapons."

She was surprised enough to laugh. "It's not for you to throw. It's tagged with my Hiraishin seal." His eyes went wide with comprehension, and he finally took the outstretched weapon to examine it more carefully. "I just have a bad feeling, you know?" She sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. "The next time I see him, I'm giving Naruto one too. If it's not too much trouble, could you keep it in your office or something? Even if nothing ever happens, you'll still have the speediest method possible of contacting Konoha. You can't use it, but if you spark chakra against it I'll feel it no matter where I am."

Aiko wasn't even lying. The seal was active and she could use it at any time, but Minato had written about using the seals this way and giving them to his team. Even unintentional chakra flares made in distress could draw attention, making it a good safety tool for his young team.

"Why me."

She glanced up to gauge his reaction, but his face was blank and body language guarded. This was a test.

"Well, I know that you're in danger," she answered honestly. "And I want you to be safe or at least reachable. I think you're a good person, and Naruto agrees. He's a lot better judge of character than I am," she admitted easily, "but I think that he'd approve." Awkwardly, she shrugged as if to say, 'that's it.'

"I thought you said you were keeping this technique secret," he pointed out, clearly pushing for something.

For once, she genuinely did not understand the logic behind this conversational direction. Aiko didn't like going into a conversation blind, but at least she thought on her feet well. "I am. Including you and I, five people know I can do Hiraishin. I really don't want it getting out that I have it. But I think I can trust that you and my team are strong enough to keep the seals away from anyone else and have enough discretion to keep it quiet." As she talked, she gathered her hair into a tail at her neck to keep it from whipping around in the cold desert air, wrestling an elastic off her wrist. She suddenly understood why Temari kept her hair so tightly bound—it hurt when it whipped into your face.

"You… trust me. As a person."

Aiko furrowed her brow. "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"

Granted, had she not known as much as she did about him, she wouldn't have trusted him. They had only briefly spoken before on a few occasions, most of which had been one-sided. The trust she extended him would not be afforded to many other people with whom she had stronger relationships.

But she trusted both in his decision to change himself for the better and Naruto's ability to spot what others couldn't in people. He'd always had a remarkable sense for understanding critical truths about people's inner lives. It was only possible for Naruto to fool himself—when he really wanted to believe in something, he was completely blind. That was why it was easy for him to be manipulated with a few kind words: He really wanted to believe that people were intrinsically good.

The thing was that in her experience, he was right. Most people were good at their core. Of course, lacking in charisma as she was, she wasn't always able to convince people the way Naruto did. She resorted to pre-planning and careful rhetoric, and used force when that failed.

The idea that a near-stranger trusted in his inherent goodness seemed to rock Gaara to his core. It was actually a little uncomfortable to see just how open his face was with his emotions at the moment, so she had to struggle not to avert her eyes. Looking away now would indicate insincerity. With difficulty, she faked the calm acceptance that would have been so natural to Naruto.

Someone like Tsunade or maybe even Yamato would have caught the bluff, but Gaara never stood a chance.

A muscle jumped in his neck, taut as if he was about to leap into motion. Slowly, he inclined his head into a shallow bow. "I will not betray that trust."

"Of course you wouldn't." Impulsively, Aiko crossed the distance and wrapped him up in a brief hug, ruffling his hair like she would do to Naruto. She only let it last for an instant, not wanting to deal with the awkwardness of him deciding whether or not to hug her back. Either way he chose would be weird, so she didn't let it be an issue, flashing him a grin and talking as she walked towards the door. "I'm going in, then, it's super cold out. Have a good night!" She gave him one last look before shutting the door.

Gaara swallowed, wrapping his hand tightly around a skin-warmed hilt that had been recently owned by a girl he barely knew. It was a kingly gift, despite its apparent plainness.

That had not gone as expected at all.

Why did she trust him so? He remembered hitting her so hard she lost consciousness in the attempted invasion of Konoha. Surely the girl held a grudge because of that? It was one thing for Naruto to forgive him—Naruto, who had experienced similar pain and loneliness growing up as a jinchuuriki, but his sister?

Ah. That was it. Naruto's sister, who had always stood by him. He had to push back a zing of jealousy—what would his life had been like if Temari had never feared or ostracized him? There was no way to know, and no point in questioning. They had reconciled and were actually quite close now. Temari was an excellent sister to have.

What kind of person must Naruto's sister be, to have never once doubted him even as a small child when others clearly feared and hated him? It… it defied explanation.

'Perhaps it is a commonality between Uzumaki,' he finally decided, blinking down some strange sensation. That conversation convinced him that two out of the two Uzumaki he had encountered were remarkably forgiving people, after all.

He couldn't help but keep an eye on the girl—Aiko, she was called, he reminded himself—the next time he met with Uchiha Sasuke for a meeting. The Uchiha still displayed an irritating habit to mimic his absent mentor's sideways manner of speech, but Gaara easily enough arranged for the concessions he desired. He managed to insure that Suna would be paying for thirty percent of the Chuunin exam's expenses to prove their investment and several other details while still devoting some of his attention to the other redhead in the room. She was slippery and hard to read, showing emotions at times that indicated she was keeping a running commentary… and uncomfortable with his staring.

Gaara took his eyes off of her just in time to catch a severely disapproving expression from the Copy Ninja, and suddenly decided it would be for the best to go back to focusing on the Uchiha. He didn't want to give the Konoha ninja the wrong impression about his interest.

Of course, it was entirely too late to throw Temari off the scent of a secret after she'd caught him glancing at Aiko. His sister was incorrigible.

 

Omake

This is super old by now, but… ehhhhh. :) Possibility one of how this scene could have gone.

"You skipped work to tell me that one of my shinobi is an aspiring writer," Tsunade deadpanned. "You are correct—attempting to better oneself is highly suspicious and I'll look into it immediately. In fact, why don't we just skip the middleman and send her directly to prison for seditious behavior. We'll flog her in the streets for literary ambitions. Where would you like your medal?"

Yamanaka Inoichi fidgeted with his ponytail, hooking two fingers under a sparkly purple hair band. He turned his face away a little sheepishly. "Well, it sounds negligible when you put it that way, but I'm really convinced that if you'd just take a look, you'd share my unease…"

She did her best not to let her expression waver into amusement. 'He does seem pretty serious… At worst, I'll get to laugh about this later, I suppose.'

Besides, if he was right, someone had neglected to inform her of the extent of one of her tools' usefulness. Tsunade had plenty of dumb brutes already—shinobi that could think were suited to many roles, some of which were in high demand. "Leave the books and get back to work, then."

Inoichi practically tripped in his eagerness to get out, though he shot one last, inscrutable look at the book he'd been reading when her secretary had been forced to shake his shoulder to let him know it was his appointment time.

'It's almost irritating that everyone seems so eager to get away from me now that I'm Hokage,' Tsunade mused, watching one of her top interrogators slip out the door. She carefully side-stepped the thought that people had been eager to get away from her for years (excepting Jiraiya and casino staff, of course) on account of her legendary temper.

Suspiciously, she lifted an innocuous green cover and opened one of the little books open with a single finger. To be fair to Inoichi, it was a pretty thick book to have been written by a teenager, and there was a small pile of them. Either Hatake wasn't much of a slave driver and gave her far too much free time, or the girl didn't go through a lot of drafts. If it were the second possibility, that implied a truly formidable talent for mental organization, perhaps suited to intelligence or code work.

"Fairy Tales: Golden Hair, Snow White, and Little Red Hood."

She scrunched up her nose, perplexed by the bizarre names. There seemed to be some sort of color theme, but she had no idea what that might mean other than that the girl possibly had an obsessive disorder.

The Hokage gave a glance around her office. There was no one else there. She was experiencing a lull in paperwork and appointments. If she didn't have office hours, she would probably have gone home. In other words…

"May as well give it a try now," she sighed, flipping open to the first short story.

It turned out not to be particularly short. That was good, because the girl with the golden hair had some serious problems that had to be worked out. It was just a mess. What was one little plant in the grand scheme of things, no matter its properties? Kidnapping the child was a bit of an extreme reaction to her parents stealing a shrubbery.

It was fascinating. The story was like nothing she'd ever read, but somehow it spoke to a well of human experience Tsunade could relate to.

At one point, she had to actually close the book to compose herself. Tsunade sniffled sadly, bending her head to let a curtain of blonde hair cover her face. 'I know how you feel, kiddo.' She fingered her own long, beautiful hair and raised her head slightly to send a longing glance out of the tower window. It was like the book was written for her, if the other princess had been trapped by bureaucracy instead of unethical psychological manipulation and physical inability to punch her way out of a stone tower. The magical properties of the hair had to be some sort of kekkai genkai (a powerful bloodline ability that was probably the source of her parents' rule over the nation, she was certain)—if only the princess knew how to use it to escape!

She was sure that she could have figured it out, and spent several minutes brainstorming possible applications of glowing hair, eventually making an elaborate chart on the back of a financial report that had been within arm's reach.

That was how Shizune found her. She took one look at the notes her mentor was working diligently on and turned right back around. Whatever it was looked important; she'd bother Tsunade later.


	52. Chapter 52

"Well, at least that mess is finally over." Kankuro kicked his feet up onto the table, expertly ignoring his sister's scowl. He did yelp and move them to the floor when she flung a kunai in the tiny space between his ankles. "Kami, woman! Either you care about the furniture or you don't! How are my feet worse than that?" He gestured to the new hole in the already pockmarked woodwork.

"Don't be such a baby," Temari growled, tugging out her knife and heading over to the pale wooden cupboards and whipping open the one that creaked no matter how he greased it. "And don't brag, either. It's not over for me," she muttered sourly.

He snorted. "S'hardly my fault." Idly, he kept an eye on his miffed-looking sister while she rather viciously ripped open the plastic packaging on one of those fouly over-sweet baked goods imported from Iron. Kankuro grimaced, but held his tongue. He knew Temari enough to recognize that her rare indulgence in sugar generally meant she was stressed or distracted.

Seeing as how she had just agreed to be the liaison to Konoha, a position that would include making an extended trip there herself in several months' time, he figured it was stress.

Temari was a bit of a homebody—she didn't like leaving Suna for long periods of time. She'd been half-convinced that something terrible had happened to Gaara the whole time they were out on the border. His sister had two comfort zones: perched in the background like an overgrown turkey vulture while her little brothers cowered under her watchful eye; and happily bashing in heads with her fan (it's an antique, she'd primly remind him when he teased her for spending so much time getting blood out of all the little folds).

While his sister was so obviously stressed, she would attempt to calm herself in one of her two comfort zones. Kankuro would prefer that she choose to dote on Gaara and left him in peace, but would settle for not getting his head bashed in with her fan when he inevitably pissed her off too much by speaking.

"Good morning."

Kankuro startled, giving a fierce scowl to his younger brother who had just appeared in a wisp of sand and dry air from the outside.

Unfortunately it was early enough that he had yet to put on the greasy war paint that disguised the fact that he had a bit of a baby face, which significantly lessened the expression's effectiveness. (It was hard being so adorable all the time).

Unphased, Temari clicked on the coffee maker and responded in kind. It was a bit unusual for Gaara to join them for breakfast—he worked odd hours, since he didn't sleep. He was probably the most efficient Kage in history, and still had a frightful amount of time left to invest in personal improvement. As disinterested in conversation and therefore unpracticed in social graces as he was, her youngest brother was incredibly well-read. Of course, it wasn't like he had had much else to do every night for about a decade straight, so it shouldn't be surprising.

She glanced at her otouto as he settled into a chair at the table, dwarfed by the high back even after his growth spurt. It seemed he would never overcome the premature birth that had forced him out into the world so tiny and fragile. Temari was just old enough to remember her mother's fear that he wouldn't survive those first days.

Her heart still ached a little when she saw how tired and small he seemed. Despite knowing that Gaara was in fact monstrously powerful and intelligent, he just sorta looked like he needed a hug all the time. Temari indulged in the impulse, setting her muffin on the counter and practically leaping at him. That's what baby brothers were for, after: spoiling and snuggling.

To his credit, Gaara was used enough to sudden hugs from her that he didn't react. Once satisfied that he was still in one piece if a bit thin and under-muscled for a shinobi of his age, she swooped over to hug Kankuro for good measure. He, on the other hand, protested violently and did his best to push her off. While they scuffled, (eventually ending up on the floor) Gaara shook his head tiredly and opened the ice box to withdraw a yellow-orange piece of fruit. He then proceeded to engage in a short staring concept with it before gingerly biting in.

'He looks baffled,' Temari noted. 'Like he forgot what to do with it.' She gave Kankuro one last noisy kiss on the forehead for good measure and then pulled her arm from around his neck to release him from her wrestling hold. He scrambled to his feet and out the door top-haste, food forgotten. Apparently, he was too big and scary to be snuggled by his big sister, which only encouraged her to tease him.

"Is something wrong, Gaara?"

Temari busied herself with pouring two cups of coffee and handed one to Gaara. She did her best not to flinch when he dumped out half of it into an empty cup and filled his coffee with a downright shocking amount of chocolate milk. It wasn't really even coffee at that point… it was candy in a cup.

"No."

"Hmm." She sat, unconvinced. The Konoha delegation that had been darkening their doorstep for about two weeks had finally left. She'd thought that Gaara was discomfited by their presence—he had certainly been acting strangely enough after he'd had a private conference with the Uzumaki girl. Granted, he was odd at the best of times, but it was definitely abnormal for him to stare at girls.

After the last time she'd had a false alarm that Gaara had discovered hormones, Temari had decided to rule out other possibilities first. Besides, he just didn't seem the type to be so ham-handed about expressing interest. He had watched that girl as if she was about to leap over the table and into his lap if he wasn't wary enough.

'Or like he was trying to figure her out,' Temari allowed. Gaara did have a tendency to stare at the subject of his contemplations when he was thinking. Kankuro found the habit to be highly disturbing (in large part because he had used to do so to them while they were sleeping) but it made sense to her.

She wouldn't deny that she was curious. What had been so private that the girl had needed to speak to the Kazekage without even her teamleader present? Granted, Temari wasn't certain if the two were on excellent terms or if they absolutely despised each other. Their behavior was contradictory at times. It could be that the kunoichi didn't want to trust Sharingan no Kakashi with whatever that conversation had been. It must certainly be sensitive information, but what kind of sensitive information could a teenager possibly have? Was it a message from the Hokage—but that didn't even make sense, what would Uzumaki be trusted to know that her own apprentice wasn't? It just didn't add up.

'He would have told me if I needed to know,' she scolded herself for her own curiosity. But still… what could it hurt to ask? If it was really sensitive he just wouldn't tell her.

"Hey, Gaara."

"Yes?" He looked up at her through black-lined eyes, and she valiantly resisted the urge to recommend a good concealer. The darkened skin would just end up green or something, and that would hardly be better than the jet color. She stirred her drink thoughtfully with a small spoon.

"What did that girl want to talk to you about?" She didn't bother keeping the curiosity out of her voice. It was best to be up-front with Gaara.

"Aiko."

Temari looked up sharply. "What?"

"Her name is Aiko," Gaara corrected. He almost sounded distracted, but she knew better. "I am afraid that I cannot tell you, Temari."

"That's alright," she said distantly, noting the way that his hand had moved towards a single kunai he had definitely not kept strapped to his arm before. What use had Gaara for such a conventional weapon? It had to mean something… especially since he'd only chosen to openly display it after the Konoha delegation had left. 'I think you already gave me a clue anyway.'

 

"You're not doing him any favors by keeping him confined to the village, you know," Kakashi commented idly when asked if he had any other comments to make at the end of his report. Tsunade should have known better than to ask such an open-ended question around him. He was a bit of a troll at times. Aiko took a moment to adjust to the change in subject, shooting a glance at Sasuke who looked a bit miffed to be discussed as if he wasn't present. "He's gotten rusty in his long distance runs. He needs field work. Besides, isn't it past time that he got a promotion?"

Tsunade colored. "Fine talk, coming from you!"

Aiko suddenly felt a little irritated at the commentary as well. She was pretty certain that comment was referring to her.

"Besides," the Hokage continued, "Do you have any idea how valuable he'd be when sold for parts? No, thank you, I've finally gotten used to having him around."

Coming from her, that was a touching declaration of fondness. Sasuke gained just a little bit of pink on his cheeks. Aiko, on the other hand, was busy mulling over the coldness of describing what could happen to him if captured as being 'sold for parts'. It wasn't inaccurate, but... Jeeze.

"I'm not saying that we should truss him up and toss him over the border to Lightning to see what happens," Kakashi said slowly. "Nor that what he has accomplished is less than impressive. But unless he truly intends to become a non-combatant, he needs experience he isn't going to get by single-handedly reinventing the field of healthcare for pre-adolescent ninja."

(it was a rather ambitious project, but a sorely necessary one when conventional wisdom was to 'push them as far as you want, they're just short adults'…)

Tsunade gave a sore look to her apprentice, clearly recognizing just as much as they did that a lack of combat experience would kill him just as well as lack of abilities. "Fine then. Consider yourself my babysitter."

Suddenly, Sasuke seemed to have recovered from his bout of reluctant fondness for his shishou and gave her a nasty, snarly look. She airily pretended not to see.

"I'll give you a few missions to get him some light practice under manageable conditions. Nothing too strenuous, but hopefully just enough that I can justify a Chuunin promotion. It's not like he doesn't have the skill set," she pointed out with a frown. Then she leveled Kakashi and Aiko with a vicious glare. "If he comes back with so much as a broken nail, though, it's on your heads. In fact…" Tsunade shuffled through her desk for the constantly updated roster of shinobi in-village and assigned to missions. "I'd really feel comfortable with at least one more ANBU level back up… he's a valuable target, what with his pretty swirly eyes and being privy to the ear of the most important woman in Fire Country and all."

Kakashi's slightly disbelieving stare implied that he thought she was the worst kind of hypocrite for daring to insinuate that he was overprotective. Aiko just stifled snickers. She didn't bother to hide the amusement in her eyes, however, which earned her a heartfelt glower from Sasuke.

Tsunade seemed completely oblivious to the undertones, concentrating as she was. "Yamato is still out of the village," she mumbled to herself with a scowl, apparently looking for a replacement. "If you weren't so damn difficult to work with…"

Aiko blinked and glanced uncertainly at her suddenly innocent-looking mentor. Kakashi, difficult to work with? That was a weird thing to say. Who wouldn't want to work with him?

"Aha!" She triumphantly checked a name off, inadvertently tearing the paper. "I found one that never got around to filing a complaint about you. You remember that nice boy named Sai, right?"

Sasuke choked.

Shizune lost it, howling with laughter. Aiko jumped like a kicked animal and whipped around to stare. 'Damn, that woman is sneaky. I had no idea she was back there.'

"Excellent idea, Hokage-sama," Sasuke's senpai somehow managed to wheeze, heroically managing to dismiss the affronted look he was giving her.

"Maa, maa." Kakashi slouched, indicating he was bored with the conversation. "That's settled, then. Before we get too far off topic, I think my cute little apprentice has something to tell you."

Aiko stiffened guiltily. She'd been starting to wonder if she had been wrong when she thought that Kakashi would have listened in on her conversation with Gaara. She should have known better- of course he had. He was incorrigibly nosy about things like his subordinates asking for private audiences with foreign Kage. He was unreasonable like that.

"Ah, yes." She flexed her toes inside her boots, glancing a little uncertainly at her mentor. His countenance was blank—no hint whatsoever as to his thoughts.

'That's helpful,' she sighed.

Tsunade groaned. "I'm going to regret letting you out of my sight, aren't I," she half-joked tiredly. "Alright, get out, you two." Sasuke shot her an inscrutable look, but followed Shizune out of the office and pulled the door shut behind him. There was long moment where Kakashi seemed ready to speak, but a thought occurred to Tsunade. She lifted her head and hollered, "And don't listen in this time!"

Kakashi held his hand up to muffle a snicker at the same time that there was the slightly distorted sound of Shizune grumbling quietly on the other side of the door, before a flicker of blue around the frame indicated that one of them had dutifully powered up the stifling seals. The Hokage rolled her eyes fondly.

"Nosy little brats," she explained proudly. "They thought I didn't know about it."

'Does... does that mean she actually wants them to practice spying on her?'

With that singularly disturbing concept in mind, Aiko fidgeted with the one Hiraishin kunai on her person and expertly drowned out the insistent singing of the one in Kakashi's pocket (as well as the humming of Yamato's that indicated Tsunade had been lying about him being out of the village. She'd thought it best not to bring that up.) At least she wasn't too bothered by Gaara's anymore. It was so far off that she could barely feel it whine for her attention.

"Right." Kakashi nudged her pointedly.

She sighed. "I think what he wants me to tell you is that I gave Gaara a Hiraishin kunai."

Tsunade looked mildly nauseous. "He can use Hiraishin?" She leaned over her desk, inadvertently exposing a few extra inches of cleavage.

'What? Who said anything about that?'

"No." Aiko furrowed her brow in faint confusion. Kakashi's arm twitched as if he longed to slap a hand to his forehead. "It's so that I'll know if something happens to him. He's in the same danger Naruto is, right? But he doesn't have Jiraiya of the Sannin following him around like a particularly grungy guard dog."

Clearly relieved, Tsunade sank back into her seat. "He is a big boy, you know," she pointed out with a tone of amusement. "I bet he dresses himself and everything. It's not your responsibility to protect the Kazekage."

"No, but it's my responsibility to protect Naruto," Aiko argued. "Gaara is his friend, and he's in danger. What do you think the first thing he'll say when I give him a kunai for his own protection from Akatsuki?"

At that point, Kakashi really did slap a palm to his forehead, looking pained.

It appeared that everyone in the office had come to the conclusion she'd painted. Rather than irritated, Tsunade looked mildly touched. "You're probably right," she allowed. "And I did technically declassify that when I told you to tell Kakashi. It's your technique, and you're allowed to be an idiot on your own time. But I have a strange feeling that you'll not often find the Kazekage outside of Suna. Do you really think you can go that far?"

"Yes," she lied clearly, keeping her own trepidation out of her voice and expressions, both bodily and facial.

It was a lie she'd been prepared to make. There was no way to be certain it was as safe as Minato had indicated in his notes without trying it herself, but it was worth the risk. She didn't see another option that would allow her to keep an eye on him. Konoha and Suna weren't that far apart in the grand scale of things, after all.

Aiko didn't know whether to feel ashamed or satisfied that her mentor and the Hokage didn't question the claim. Since when could she fool Kakashi? Of course, the better question was probably, 'since when did she want to'. It was undeniable that he was much more skilled and experienced than she was, but Aiko was formidable in her own right. Sometimes, she didn't want to have to justify everything to him. She was an adult and had been for four-and-a-half years by shinobi standards and almost a year by civilian standards. Aiko was old enough to make a few judgments about risks that only affected her without outside help by now, thank you very much.

"And you trust that he won't take advantage of this?" Tsunade pressed, sounding genuinely curious.

Aiko nodded firmly. "Yes. Naruto trusts in his character, and I have faith in his discretion. They don't make idiots into Kage, after all. That leaves the only possible worry is his being overpowered and losing control of the seal, but if I can't trust the Kazekage to be strong enough to keep something safe, I don't know who could protect it".

Other than Kakashi. He could do anything. (Anything but comb his damn hair, apparently).

Tsunade gave a little shrug, tilting her head casually so that one of her ponytails slipped over her shoulder out of sight. "If you get yourself into an ambush, just remember that it was your own overconfidence to blame". (Kakashi looked disgruntled at her nonchalance.) "Can I assume that you're done handing those things out like candy?"

"Naruto's going to get one," she countered instantly.

The Hokage rolled her eyes. "Other than him."

Aiko thought for a moment. "Maybe Sasuke?" she offered. "But I can't see myself giving one to anyone else outside my team other than that, no."

"Very well." Tsunade waved at them as if telling them to scatter. "I hope you know that if necessary, you're going to be my official short-notice errand girl to Suna."

"That's fine," Aiko agreed. She didn't have much of a choice.

When the two ruffians had left her office, Tsunade began silently gathering up her belongings to attempt to make a covert escape out the window. She'd been working late so many nights in a row that she hardly remembered the sensation of sun on her skin. (Granted, as Shizune complained, she might feel more sunshine if she didn't have a small rainforest crowded in front of the window, but what else was she going to do with all the damn plants?)

She winced and held her breath for a moment when the window squealed… and then remembered that the room was silenced. She was home free.

'I hope Hatake knows what he's doing,' she thought solemnly, letting her legs dangle over the drop and adjusting the tan sling bag over her shoulder before stealthily slipping off to the ground. When he'd been called in and informed that Jiraiya had modified and approved Aiko's anti-Root seal, he'd been surprisingly opposed to the idea of ambushing the boy named Sai and torturing him for information. (And getting the seal to work had been an ordeal in itself that included a shockingly irritated letter from Jiraiya about opening a storage seal to find a tongue floating in preservatives. She was still a bit confused about that. She had safely labeled the tongue severed from the captured Root agent as private correspondence and warned him to be alone when opening it. What on earth had he been expecting? Cheesecake?)

To be honest, she did feel a little guilty about the plan of tricking Sai into her office and capturing him to use against his master. The Root members were still shinobi under her protection even if they were sworn to Danzo. Konoha had to accept a lot of blame for what had been done to those soldiers as children… Danzo didn't operate in a vacuum after all. Sai was a victim of Konoha's ineptitude just as much as he was a traitor's tool.

Kakashi had argued that Sai was young enough that he was vulnerable to being subverted, especially since he displayed particular interest in learning how to interact with his age group. She rather doubted that Hatake was right about how plausible that was, but she was willing to pass the boy off into his care for a while and let his team try.

Tsunade wasn't an idiot. She knew that on some level, his insistence stemmed from the fact that Kakashi hated endangering anyone who had served under him. If he had to he would obey orders, but the man would much rather use anything but force. It was hard to hold that against him, however. He was a good leader, one who was genuinely interested in the welfare of everyone under his protection. If push came to shove he would do what must be done, but he also wasn't in the habit of fooling himself. Hatake must have seen something in the boy that she had missed (not surprising, since he had spent an extended mission with the child and she only saw him in passing).

On the bright side, she trusted the small team who would be with Sai on a personal level beyond her usual relationship with her soldiers. Sasuke had her ear and she knew him inside and out (could break him down and build him up if she wanted to). Tsunade had the benefits of knowing Kakashi for years and was intimately with his failings and strengths.

And she'd just decided what it was that had unsettled her so much about Aiko. The girl reminded her of herself. The teen was a bit spoiled by a very caring mentor, talented, and almost unhealthily attached to her younger brother.

It was a strangely fitting parallel, since Naruto carried Nawaki's dream. Maybe this generation wouldn't falter as hers had under the painful weight of a long war.

Unlike Tsunade whose desire to protect Nawaki had extended to other loved ones and manifested as a desire to heal in general, Aiko just hadn't figured out a personal drive beyond Naruto. It was plain to see that she didn't really love her work, although she dutifully carried it out to please her mentor and fulfill the requirements. Doubtlessly Aiko would excel when she eventually figured out what she wanted.

'Maybe I should give her a chance to work apart from Hatake,' Tsunade mused, unaware of the irony that her mind was still on work even when she had literally run away from it. 'Perhaps it'll force her to reconsider her motivations for serving Konoha and find a passion, as it were.'

 

Keiko glanced out the window and spotted her honored Hokage gleefully making a break for it across the lawn. Her head hit the surface of her desk, and her carefully pinned hair slumped heavily from the change in gravity.

'This is the most stressful job I've ever had.'

 

She opened her mouth and worked her jaw silently for a moment, struggling for words. It felt like there should be some for this odd situation. Eventually, she settled for, "You're been treating my room like a library?"

Ino and Karin exchanged guilty glances.

"I didn't think you'd mind," her cousin eventually offered. "You leant Ino some before, so when she came by I didn't think much of it."

"What she said." Ino gave a toothy grin. It was very fake. The girl was thinking furiously, examining different rhetorical strategies.

'They make me so tired sometimes'.

She stalled answering for a second. When she slowly inhaled through her nose and walked over to her bed, Aiko noted the lingering of multiple sources of perfume that indicated this had not been the first time Ino had come by while she was gone.

It wasn't exactly that she minded someone else reading her books. She wasn't embarrassed by any of them. But letting someone else into her room had been a major violation of her privacy, and Aiko was definitely not pleased with Karin. Actually, she was a little tired of having the other girl as a roommate. From a distance, Karin was enjoyable to spend time with, but living with her was another thing. It wasn't like Aiko had ever decided to move in with Karin—she'd been pushed into it by the third Hokage (which was more than a bit annoying) so she had a hard time even telling herself that dealing with minor differences was just part of agreeing to live together.

"Just… don't do this anymore. If I'm out of town, then you can wait."

Karin gave a shame-faced nod and slipped out of the room at high speed. Ino (either bravely or stupidly) didn't quail under her glare. "Didn't you say that you liked my idea of publishing some of these?" she demanded, poking bossily into Aiko's personal space.

'I'm almost impressed that she's trying to turn this around and make it my fault,' Aiko noted dazedly. It was just unreal. Ino was unreal.

"Yes, so? That doesn't give you license to come in here while I'm gone and go through my things," she countered aggressively.

Thin, glossed lips quirked into a victorious smile, but Aiko had no idea why. "What if I took care of that for you," Ino proposed. "Either under your name or a penname. I can send them off to a publisher's. I told you that my family knows a man who can get it done easily. You'll make tons of money, and then I'll get to read whatever I want. We both win."

Aiko rolled her eyes. "I don't want to send off my only copies to some man I don't even know," she pointed out snarkily. "I mean, if you want to copy them by hand before you send them, then sure. Fine!"

She was expecting Ino to falter at that. It would be a large commitment. The idea of copying any of her books word for work was severely unappealing.

"That's acceptable."

Something stuttered in her brain at the easy way Ino tossed her hair and fixed her with a smug look.

"You'll be thanking me when you're making tons of money," she sighed airily, tilting her hip and picking up a book she'd already read. "I'll expect you to dedicate one to me. Maybe even write me into a story. I deserve to be written about, after all." Her ponytail was the last thing Aiko saw swish out the door. Her brain hadn't quite caught up yet.

"What the hell just happened?"

"Watch your fucking mouth," Hinata said quietly as she passed the doorway with an ironic smile, half buried under the basket of purple laundry she was hauling to her room.

'The world has gone mad,' Aiko bemoaned sadly, flopping down on her bed. Maybe a nap would improve things.

 

Omake:

He was silent and sleek as he crossed the lawn and carefully picked the lock on the front door. His target hadn't set up real traps for the night, which probably meant that she was home. He'd have to be very careful.

The door slid open without a whisper, and the intruder carefully crept into the genkan. He was stealth personified, easy grace and carefully honed skill.

Then he blinked. 'What the hell happened to my shoes?'

The borrowed house slippers (now embarrassingly filthy after his cross- town escape) dangled limply from his hands. He'd been planning on a covert switch, but this complicated things.

Sasuke was left blinking guiltily when the light switched on to reveal Aiko leaning casually against the wall with a smug smile and his sandals in her hands. "I assume," she drawled with insufferable self-satisfaction, "that you have come to apologize for leaving a dirty mailbox in my kitchen. As luck would have it, I haven't finished repairing it yet. Maybe you'd like to help me while we talk."

'She's holding my shoes hostage,' he instantly realized. That was pretty low. Even for a ninja.

But... He glanced down at his bare toes, cold from crossing Aiko's damp lawn. He only owned the one pair of fitting shinobi sandals, and he couldn't even enter the warehouse to replace them without shoes to wear in.

Sasuke was screwed, and he knew it.

"I'd love to help," he dryly replied.

 

(I just had to write this, since a couple people have been wondering about the fact that he escaped in someone else's fuzzy slippers and then I couldn't stop thinking about it myself)

 

Author's Note

A note, since I know that my time period is getting a little confusing. We're almost to the end of the timeskip at this point. It's late July at the start of this chapter—Naruto comes home and Shippuden starts in November. I'm totally making those dates up because I just needed to have some to work with. As you may have noticed, many of the international tensions are sort of settling down to simmer similarly to how they were in canon. Just setting the stage: it's intentional.


	53. Chapter 53

Seven sets of footsteps made varying volumes of scuffling sounds on the dirt road out of Konoha one early morning, a cacophony that nearly drowned out the sounds of birdsong and wind tugging at drying leaves. If it had been a little less windy, it might well have muffled all other sounds, even though some of the footsteps were near silent. The bizarrely loud treads from three of the party members more than made up for the deficit.

They'd taken up a variation on a standard formation—a triangle. Sasuke took the tip, with Kakashi walking a few feet behind his right heel, Aiko was to Kakashi's right, and Sai stood way over on the left while their clients huddled between the shinobi.

"Let's hope this mission works out," Kakashi sighed after a few hours of walking in silence, as if he had been mulling over their recent string of missions. Aiko didn't buy it—he was attempting to stir up trouble to get an amusing reaction from the team. The unusually calm, temperate weather and lack of inter-team drama was probably boring him to tears.

Like the predictable chump he was, Sai gave a sunny smile with his eyes creased shut.

'Decent attempt,' Aiko scored mentally. 'Maybe a six out of ten, grading on a curve to compensate for his general ineptitude?'

She'd developed a grading rubric in the weeks they'd been stationed on back-to-back missions together. It wasn't like there was much else to do. The odd tension between Sai and Sasuke and Kakashi's general nonchalance had unfortunately made her the peacekeeper by default. She had no skill at the role whatsoever. At times like this, she desperately missed sweet, charismatic Naruto and even Sakura. The little girl had been a people-pleaser by nature, and clever enough to maneuver conversations that almost everyone was pleased by.

Sai lacked that conversational skill entirely, but hell if he didn't try to make friends anyway. She gave him so many points for effort and unintentional hilarity.

"I happen to like these missions," the boy in question interjected blandly. "I find it very interesting to see how Dickless can destabilize the most mundane of missions with his very presence."

The two possible outcomes of this trip seemed about equally likely :

Sasuke would become a Chuunin and rub it in Naruto's face when he came back home

Sasuke would snap and actually kill Sai with a blunt rock, forgoing all shinobi training in favor of his mindless hate for the other boy even though he factually knew it would endanger his promotion. He would get promoted anyways because Tsunade would just be sick of trying.

Her thoughts might have been on the same wavelength as her Uchiha teammate. Sasuke's fingers twitched as if he was longing to wrap them around Sai's neck, but the impulse was too Naruto-ish for him to actually indulge in.

'To be fair, Sai has a point.'

It wasn't even that Sasuke had done anything—it really did seem to be his very presence that jinxed things. Forget Naruto, Sasuke was a luck token of some sort. (Good or bad, she wasn't sure, but definitely luck).

The civilian family they were going to be escorting looked downright unnerved at this point. The teenage daughter Hana was clutching the straps of her green backpack so tightly that her fingers were turning white. Her young-looking parents (Ichigo and Mei) exchanged uncertain glances.

Aiko leaned around her mentor and aimed a reassuring smile at them, cutely clasping her hands behind her back to portray an unthreatening demeanor that would be more palatable to non-shinobi. "Don't mind them," she explained. "They're just joking around. You have nothing to worry about with us here. I know we look a bit young, but all three of us are competent shinobi, and Kakashi-shishou is one of the best shinobi in the world."

Strangely, they didn't seem reassured at all.

"Suck-up," Sasuke muttered under his breath from the front of the group. Without missing a beat, Kakashi extended a foot and sent him tripping face-first into the dirt. He'd done it quickly enough that Aiko almost missed the motion. She might have, if she hadn't been expecting something similar. He was petty sometimes. Their clients skittered back nervously to keep a distance from the grumpiest party member. Sai merely looked on while Sasuke irritably spat out dirt and regained his footing. His expression was blank but somehow managed to convey curiosity through his tilted head and unblinking stare. Sai was a bit like the world's tallest and hunkiest owl, really.

Aiko took a moment to glare at her teammates, who had just undone all the soothing she'd done. Calming other people just didn't come naturally to her, so she didn't appreciate having her ham-handed efforts undermined. "Whatever," she grunted, purposefully shoving her mentor with a shoulder. He allowed it and pretended to sway away from the force she mustered, which probably didn't help the impression that their aghast clients were gaining about their expensive escort. Even despite knowing that she was a shinobi, they probably didn't put much stock in her physical prowess. She wasn't particularly intimidating in appearance, even with a gigantic dog summons trailing by her side. Unfortunately.

Uncertain or not, they were apparently committed enough that they didn't muster up any complaints and obediently followed along with Kakashi's absent-minded directions.

'Makes sense,' Aiko noted. 'I bet hiring an escort is really pricey. On the bright side, they probably got a great deal, considering they managed to swing two ANBU level shinobi and the Hokage's apprentice.'

She would have told them that if she could—it probably would have soothed their minds. But it would have been grossly inappropriate for her to share confidential information like that about Kakashi and Sai. Sasuke's position wasn't classified, but it would probably be best not to talk about it either.

If this mission somehow went downhill into a spectacular blaze of incompetence and mind-bendingly bad luck, it might be a good idea not to have the highest echelons in their village directly embarrassed by the fiasco.

So their poor clients would just have to suffer nervously until the team got a chance to prove themselves.

'It's amazing that Naruto isn't even here, but having two-thirds of the surviving team seven together is somehow enough to tap into whatever alternate universe stores his weird karma,' she mused.

Then again, even in the manga, Sasuke's story arc had been fucking weird on its own merits. Maybe Naruto was completely blameless. Maybe there was nothing weird about Naruto's luck in the first place. He could just be a normal little boy.

 

Kakashi startled and gave Aiko a wary stare when she suddenly began choking on what appeared to be nothing. He warily patted her shoulder, pulling his hand back immediately as if he'd been burnt. "Okay there?"

"H-hai," she gasped, fanning her face with a hand. "Sorry, it's nothing."

 

'No way. Naruto is definitely weird as all hell. S'why I love him.'

Mindful that Kakashi had been downright unnerved by her inexplicable good humor, she wiped her face as blank as possible. She needed to pay attention and be alert, since she was on the clock. With any luck at all, they'd run into a moderately difficult fight that could be used as a justification for giving Sasuke his damn promotion already. A field promotion was perfectly respectable, after all, even if it wasn't as flashy as an exam promotion.

Mitsuo whined, a warm weight brushing against her right hip. Aiko glanced down and ran her fingers through the thick, white fur at his neck soothingly. He leaned his thick neck into her hand, snuffling sadly at her fingers. It was the first time he'd been out with her on an extended mission, but it was starting to seem like they would never have time to bond in Konoha.

"I know, I know," she murmured to the ninken sympathetically. He was having a hard time spending nights away from home. It was lucky that Pakkun had pulled her aside and explained some things to her, because Mitsuo couldn't speak any human language. He would probably never be able to.

That was yet another reason why it was so important for them to spend a lot of time together. If he was going to be her companion, they had to develop camaraderie and the ability to understand one another. He had a fairly good understanding of human speech (something like a toddler's vocabulary, but geared towards shinobi life), and she was learning some barks, but neither of them could properly vocalize the other's language. That meant that nonverbal communication was going to be crucial, as were the coded communications that they were still working out. There wasn't much need for Mitsuo to speak in riddles—it would never be an issue unless they were fighting another ninken summoner (or maybe a wolf or coyote with a similar dialect). But Aiko was actually working on teaching him a bit of English. Kakashi seemed perplexed by the strange sounds – syllables that didn't exist in Konoha, particularly—but she didn't see a reason to make up obscure references when she could teach him things she readily knew. It didn't make things any harder for her ninken, after all.

The only way to get that vital bonding done was just to spend time with each other. Their clients and Sai seemed a bit curious, but Sasuke gave her an unusually wide berth after she had summoned Mitsuo.

It wasn't that he was frightened of or disliked dogs, of course. (Although that wouldn't have been an unusual response to a dog that probably weighed more than Aiko did). No. It was because Mitsuo's hackles had gone up the instant he got a whiff of Sasuke and had insistently circled him, barking and growling for two painfully long minutes while Aiko tried to figure it out. Kakashi hadn't met them by the gate at that point, so she was on her own. Though it felt presumptuous, she eventually summoned Pakkun and begged for help.

He'd looked at her like she was an idiot while Mitsuo insistently danced around Sasuke. "The puppy is saying that one there smells like cats." He licked his nose, apparently oblivious to just how repulsed Sasuke appeared to be by the motion. But perhaps he'd noticed, because the pug continued. "He does reek of cat," Pakkun added decisively. Then he gave a few short barks that appeared to turn into an argument and a royal scolding. Mitsuo perked up his ears and glanced between his elder and the boy he was so insistently keeping corralled away from his summoner. He yipped and whined, but eventually pulled his ears down flat and groveled onto his tummy, awkwardly pawing his way over to Aiko's side.

"There," Pakkun sighed. He turned to Aiko, scratching at his neck with a rear paw. "I explained that you have to tolerate the cat stench because you're teammates."

Sasuke looked more than a bit disgruntled. "I don't even have a cat," he bit out shortly.

Both dogs gave him pitying looks. It was hard not to laugh. Pakkun took one long sniff, and decisively judged, "Is Uchiha."

"Is Uchiha," Kakashi (who she had definitely not heard arrive), agreed solemnly.

Sasuke twitched, looking somewhere between murderous and baffled. "Well-spotted," he eventually condescended.

Mitsuo whuffed. Pakkun gave a growling laugh in reply, and tilted his head so sharply that Pakkun smacked himself in the face with one of his floppy ears. "Then what's the question, boy?"

"I don't see the connection. I don't have the Uchiha nin-cat contract. I don't even have a regular cat." He jerked his head irritably at Aiko, clearly not happy about being growled at. "She has a cat. Growl at her."

"S'not a cat," Pakkun said sagely. Mitsuo agreed with a series of low vocalizations that startled Kakashi into giving Aiko a strange look. "He says he saw it hack up a burning hairball once," Pakkun helpfully supplied. "Can't be a cat. Some kind of furry lizard, probably."

There was a spectacularly awkward silence. Aiko pretended not to feel the stares. "Well, that's all sorted out and everyone's here!" she chirped with false enthusiasm. "Time to set off on an adventure."

"Aiko." Sasuke's disbelieving tone stopped her in her tracks.

She rolled her eyes and shrugged helplessly. Smaug was really more like Hinata's cat now, to be honest. She was either some sort of crazy talented animal whisperer or Smaug just sensed a similar soul in her. "I was uninvolved in that."

That pretty well stopped conversation for the first hour or so of their long walk.

'Come to think of it, that might be when the clients started to seem a bit uncomfortable around us,' Aiko reminisced fondly. She should probably feel guilty, but… couldn't quite muster up the energy. They weren't being paid to make friends. Their job was to safely get their client out of Fire Country, not pretend to be a luxury cruise service.

It was a pretty lazy mission, made even more so by the necessity of putting extra work on Sasuke to give him a crash source in field work. Aiko and Sai lurked around and set up camp that first night while Kakashi followed Sasuke to be sure his procedure running a perimeter check and setting up acceptable traps was up to snuff. They were gone long enough that Aiko eventually felt badly enough for their poor clients (who were obviously unused to long travel) and helped them set up their bedrolls and dug out a campfire for them. Sai merely looked on, idly running a clean brush over a notebook as if drawing invisibly.

"Thanks," Hana panted, wiping her forehead back as if to clear sweaty bangs, but her skin was completely dry.

'That's a bit odd,' Aiko noted without indicating anything about her thoughts externally. 'Her breathing patterns indicate exertion, but no sweat?'

It was unusual, but she didn't comment. All three of their clients seemed in much better shape by the time Sasuke and Kakashi returned, if a bit unpleasantly startled by just how quickly they appeared in the middle of the group toting bloody animals.

"You can cook." Sasuke tossed his directly at Sai. The artist caught both rabbits, but the swinging momentum spattered his face with what was probably still warm blood. Ichigo looked decidedly green, reaching out to take his wife's hand.

Sai gave a very strained smile—more so than usual, and awkwardly wiped the rabbit blood off his cheek and nose with a palm. It smudged a little and didn't entirely come off. "Of course. I am honored that you trust me with such a task." He paused. "Does this mean that you are courting me? This reminds me of a proverb about the duties a man has to his beloved. You see, when a man loves-"

"Ah, maybe we can talk about that later," Aiko hastily interjected, tugging the animals out of Sai's loose grip and pulling him to the fire by his hand. "I'll help. Thank you, Sasuke, Kakashi. They're lovely."

Sai's brow furrowed. He looked first at the rabbits he had been given, then to a fuming Sasuke, and then between Aiko and Kakashi as she snatched the food their team leader had brought back out of his hands.

Before he had a chance to open his mouth, Aiko had shoved everything into his arms and sparked up the fire to make sure it was going strong before laying down a leather tarp and pulling out a kunai. "Sai, would you skin those?" She gave him a meaningful look.

"Yes. We will talk later?"

She choked down a laugh, avoiding looking at Sasuke who was probably breathing smoke at that point. "Of course, Sai. We can talk about anything you want."

'Well, almost anything. I don't guarantee you'll get the answers you want,' she amended. He was probably still spying for Danzo, after all.

Doubtless, she wasn't the only one who knew that. Since Tsunade almost certainly suspected him, Sasuke must know as well. Kakashi could know too—he'd been in ANBU long enough that he could be aware of the other branch and was old enough to remember the scandal of Danzo being ordered to dissolve his private forces. They might even both know that the other knew, but there was no reason for either of them to know that she knew. She'd never been told, after all.

Aiko wasn't particularly worried. She knew how Kakashi treated threats, and none of the signs were present. Oddly enough, he seemed to be doing his best to be friendly to Sai. Of course, 'friendly' for Kakashi was more than a bit stilted and difficult, so she was taking it upon herself to be the bridge to the team. It made sense that he might be trying to ensure the Root nin felt welcomed. Obvious hostility would make it obvious that they knew he was a spy.

'Besides, Naruto managed to convert him in canon. That means that Sai is probably vulnerable to peer influence. He doesn't understand his own emotions, and he's brainwashed enough to think that he doesn't even have them.' (a particularly idiotic move on Danzo's part). 'All in all, Sai is highly susceptible to manipulation from anyone who spends an extended period of time with him. A bit of kindness here, a bit of respect there, and maybe even a semi-friendly rivalry…'

She intentionally did not smile. Sasuke would probably be vexed if he realized that his unfeigned irritation with the other boy was teaching him scripts for semi-hostile but still nonviolent human interaction. Worse, Sai learned by mimicry and repetition. That meant that his insults only got more clever and accurate every time the boys locked horns, and he had discovered that innuendo was one of the best ways to get under Sasuke's skin.

Probably the best part was that she was relatively certain Sai had decided to give the oft-discussed Icha Icha a try. Every once in a while, he'd make a comment or almost-reference that made her suspicions flare up. That made Sasuke the odd man out, actually. He still thought they were foul perversions and seemed to be doing his best to pretend not to notice any references.

As with any escort mission, the days quickly fell into a dull monotony. Kakashi pulled out his books and read while they walked, but no one else had anything for entertainment. The small family occasionally made token attempts to draw their escorts into conversation, but it was stilted and uncomfortable. By the third night, Kakashi let Sasuke run the perimeter alone, and had a chance to see the depressingly fumbled way their clients managed to unpack and pack their belongings. He and Sai exchanged a meaningful glance behind their backs. Aiko had to bite her lip to repress her suspicions as to what they were communicating. There would be no point in saying anything aloud—her comrades knew what she was thinking.

Like the past nights, she took a spot far from the banked fire, letting Mitsuo curl up into her side for the comfort of a half-hearted puppy pile. The shared body heat was nice—she seemed to run pretty cold, and was generally pretty uncomfortable at nights. Even still, she had to tuck her fingers under her shirt onto her belly to keep them from turning into icicles while she slept. Sasuke had given her a vaguely repulsed expression the first day, but by now seemed resigned to her apparently weird decision to share bedspace with a ninken.

She didn't understand why he cared in the first place. It wasn't like Mitsuo was dirtier than the rest of them or anything, and his doggy scent wasn't offensive at all.

'Maybe Pakkun was right', she mused. 'Sasuke's a cat'. (That was actually closer to what he'd been implying that first day. Pakkun and Mitsuo weren't offended that Sasuke had merely been in contact with a cat. Ninken were far too intelligent to hold that sort of grudge—regular cats barely pinged on their radar. Ninja cats like the ones historically linked to the Uchiha to the point where their scent lingered in their compound so many years later, on the other hand…) In her mind, she symbolically linked Yamato and Sasuke as the cat people she had to work with despite their persistent silliness.

It was a shame, but not everyone could be so lucky as to score a ninken partner.

Despite the way that there was constant conversation, Aiko learned surprisingly little private information from quietly listening to their clients' discussion. They didn't seem to be very interesting people.

They had been interested, on the other hand, in the antics of their ninja protectors. After his disastrous attempt to miff Sai by making him do the petty work, Sasuke didn't dare hand Sai food at night. (That might have been for the best, because his roasted rabbit had been a bit dry and bland). Instead, he sullenly ignored the other boy. She was almost convinced that Sai missed the banter by the way he kept glancing at the Uchiha.

Feeling a bit bad for him—she was never certain if Sai genuinely felt left out or if he was antisocial—she sat down by him on the fifth night on a large rock while Sasuke grumbled and did some sort of cooking magic. (The boy had a kami-given talent.) He looked at her curiously. It only took him a second to drastically change the atmosphere.

"Are we going to have that conversation about a man and a woman now?" he inquired innocently. "Sasuke never answered my question."

Movement around the camp stopped.

'Sai is either a fantastic troll, or just the most clueless human being there has ever been.'

"Perhaps later," Kakashi idly interjected from his sudden position on Sai's other side. Aiko pressed her eyes shut to avoid giving him a scathing look. That kind of deflection would never work, regardless of the sincerity behind the first question. Sai wasn't stupid, and he wouldn't appreciate being pushed aside.

Surely enough…

Sai glanced at Kakashi, then Aiko, and then turned to smile at Kakashi. "Is this a threesome?" he asked innocently. "I believe that Icha Icha Tactics contains a scene that begins much like this one. It seems to be an acceptable proposition." Then he frowned contemplatively, examining Kakashi closely. "Although I would like to know one thing before we begin. Am I the banana, or the donut?"

Kakashi slid off the rock as if scalded. "All yours, Aiko," he muttered, unconsciously tugging at that mop masquerading as hair on his head and hustling over to help Sasuke with smoking rations for the next day.

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"No, it's not like Tactics," she answered calmly. "Although I think that's one of the strongest books in the series. What did you think of the depiction of the Daimyo in that one? It's very controversial, you know, though Jiraiya-san technically denied that it was intentional satire."

'There, easily deflected. He likes being asked what he thinks about non-personal things.'

There seemed to be no luck in the world for them in other matters, however. They were only taking the family a bit past Konoha's border with Tea. At civilian speed, they had already been walking for a full week, and there were only a few days left on their mission.

Sasuke was getting decidedly twitch at the possibility of another inexplicably easy mission. It almost seemed unlikely that they would run into no problems at all on such an extended trip. Where were the bandits? Wild animals? Potholes? At this point, she would accept just about any tribulation. It only had to be classified as a combat mission for Tsunade to be able to bend the rules and grant Sasuke a promotion. Sure, she might have to obscure the direct circumstances, but that would probably only serve to make Sasuke seem more impressive with such a mysterious circumstance around his promotion.

Like divine intervention, that was when she sensed four humans with advanced chakra systems coming their way, about a mile off. Granted, they were only moving at low to mid-level Chuunin speeds, (meaning they had a couple minutes) but when combined with the other oddities about this mission…

She'd take it.

"Shishou, orders?"

He looked at her disinterestedly, ignoring the baffled expressions from their clients. Sasuke and Sai looked sharply between the two. Silly non-sensors that they were, they probably didn't know about their soon-to-be visitors yet.

"I think we'll stay the course," he mused idly, spinning a kunai on an index finger using the ringed end. "Steady ahead and all that."

She rolled her eyes. "Is the most recent Icha Icha about pirates?"

(Aiko knew damn well that it was. She had a half-read copy hidden under her mattress at home.)

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Kakashi virtuously lied, glancing at the scandalized man steering his staring daughter away from him. Hana couldn't seem to keep her eyes off of him. "Look, we should just be quiet and pay attention to our surroundings."

"That ship has sailed," Sai cheerily piped in, looking unduly pleased at being able to contribute to conversation.

'Not the worst play on words,' Aiko noted. Really, when grading on a curve of "Sai", it was pretty good.

She took a moment to imagine the group turning to Sasuke for his contribution. In her mind's eye, he turned around with that dead-pan bitch face he wore so well.

"Avast."

And then he turned back around, duty done.

Sadly, it was not to be. Apparently Sasuke didn't like pirate jokes, because Sai's appeared to be the last straw. He whipped around and inadvertently activated his bloodline just in time to catch a sudden movement from behind the group. "Look out!" He spun on his heels, already in an aggressive posture.

Kakashi, for whom the warning was entirely unnecessary, easily twisted Hana's arm behind her back (It was a fake name, if these people were anything less than absolutely incompetent). "I've been wondering for days when you would give up on that idiotic cover of yours," he drawled. "I suppose that's the other half of your ambush coming up?" Dismissively, he gave the girl a hard shove and stepped backwards to avoid the blow that the woman posing as her mother attempted to land on him with (of all the damned things) some sort of weaponized parasol. Aiko had to at least give them credit for disguising their weaponry well.

Not all of her companions appeared interested in giving them any slack.

She blinked, and then Sai was astride a gigantic ink tiger, peering down impassively at their fake clients. "You are highly unskilled," Sai informed them. Aiko was mildly surprised to note he was holding a brush between two long fingers. That had definitely not been there a moment ago. Then again, neither had the tiger. "We knew of your deception by the second day."

"Yes, we all knew," Sasuke agreed unconvincingly in an undertone.

'I had no idea.' He felt a little bit of sweat well up. 'I was just about desperate enough for a fight to push this mission to 'combat' status to bludgeon a raccoon to death and claim it was rabid. Better yet, claim Sai was bit by the rabid raccoon and get two birds with one stone. Of course I would have had to put him down. It'd be a terrible shame, but I'm sure Tsunade would understand.'

It was a nice daydream.

To be fair, he'd been stationed on point and hadn't had the chance the others had to actually keep an eye on their clients while they were walking during the day. It wasn't entirely Sasuke's fault that he didn't tally all the oddities and hypothesize that they weren't really dealing with honest civilians.

Aiko huffed, almost absentmindedly blocking four senbon from the kunoichi posing as the couple's daughter."You're a bad liar," she whispered after making sure that their teammates were out of earshot/ preoccupied by fighting. Sasuke flushed. She jerked her head at the young kunoichi who seemed irked by being dismissed so obviously. "Why don't you take that one, Sasuke?"

He managed to regain enough of his composure to give a cocky little smirk and nod. "This'll be easy," he roared, charging the enemy kunoichi as he pulled an oversized shuriken off his back.

Something twitched in her temple. 'I'm not sure why I thought working with Tsunade would calm his temper and dramatic tendencies,' she realized sheepishly. That had been a mistake. But it didn't matter much. Even if he was a bit ostentatious in battle, he was certainly effective.

Despite the way that the inaction felt completely unnatural, she restrained herself and stood back to let their lone genin fight alone. Sasuke was significantly faster than his opponent and easily ducked her next projectiles. She seemed to be a mid-distance combat specialist, which was poor luck against such a fast taijutsu artist like Sasuke. The fight was practically over the second she conceded that she couldn't keep enough distance from Sasuke and stood her ground to swipe at him with a blade hidden under her sleeve. He easily stopped it with his shuriken, using the curved edges to force her armed hand outward. It only took him two hits that seemed to shatter something where they hit—in her shoulder and a rib—to get her to her knees and gasping.

Aiko tilted her head to the side to watch the way he trussed her up in the next six seconds, vaguely impressed. 'Is it disturbing or kind of hot that he's that good at bondage?' Sasuke certainly didn't look as inexperienced as she knew him to be when he easily whipped all-purpose wire around "Hana's" ankles and wrists, topping it off by stuffing a bit of bandage in her mouth to stop her from shouting out to her comrades.

"Finally," Sai muttered, knocking the 'father' out with a blow to the head. Kakashi grunted in assent and seemed to set a genjutsu on the 'mother' that sent her to the ground in a fetal position, quietly weeping. Aiko just rolled her eyes at the boys' dramatics. It really wasn't that big of a deal, and they could have taken care of their opponents without waiting on Sasuke.

That was when the other half of the hilariously undergunned ambush squad (that had probably expected either three Chuunin or one Jounin and three genin) appeared, about a minute after the youngest kunoichi now whimpering through a gag had jumped the gun and made an attempt to take out Kakashi.

They'd probably become very nervous about their mission when they realized they had somehow scored Sharingan no Kakashi on what should have been a routine mission staffed by Chuunin. The girl might have even been right in thinking that she had a slightly better chance getting him from behind while he was preoccupied with obvious hostiles instead of joining in an attempt to overwhelm him with numbers. He was internationally famous precisely because that kind of thing didn't work well on him, after all. Unfortunately for Hana, getting the drop on Kakashi was so spectacularly unlikely that her best option would probably have been to cancel the mission if at all possible. Doubtlessly they would have done so if there'd been any way to contact their comrades.

"Is that who I think it is?" a bulky man wearing what appeared to be a lightning headband asked uncertainly. He was staring straight at Kakashi and looking a bit nauseous.

"Oh, shit," someone said. Two out of the four back-ups for their 'clients' turned directly around and bolted.

They didn't get very far.

 

"We're not going to kill them," Sasuke repeated flatly, grumpily doing his part to drag their cargo technically over the border.

("That was our mission, after all," Kakashi had cheerily pointed out despite the fact that it seemed apparent their mission objectives had changed. Perhaps he was just mocking their captives?)

For once, it seemed like Sasuke and Sai were on the same wavelength. To be frank, Aiko didn't know what was going on either, but she did assume that Kakashi knew what he was doing. It wouldn't hurt to wait around and find out what he thought they should do.

The man in question dropped Mei on their pile of enemy shinobi with a thump (and a sad "Oof!") and idly poked at one of their captives with a sandaled foot, mussing up his hair and leaving a shoeprint on his cheek. "Well, we get one of these every once in a while," he explained cheerily. "Some village funds a fake mission fishing for a low-level team in hopes of getting a chance to weaken our forces and make off with a bloodline user. We have more clans than any other village, after all." He shrugged. "But our friends here appear to be from Lightning, who we aren't at war with. I know it's idiotic, but Lightning in particular has a history of demanding reparations from Konoha after their poorly-planned attempts at bloodline theft inevitably fail to fool anyone but the thickest Academy students."

Weak killing intent wafted off of someone in the pile of bound and humiliated shinobi.

Aiko clenched her jaw tightly to keep her amusement hidden. He was intentionally provoking them, of course, but he wasn't lying. He was probably referring to the attempted kidnapping of Hyuuga Hinata that had gotten Neji's father killed in the not-so-distant past. At any minute now…

"That makes no sense," Sai observed with textbook predictability, not seeming at all strained by the shinobi draped over each thin shoulder. "Is Lightning often this incompetent?"

Hana visibly cringed.

Yepp. Aiko had been waiting for the peanut gallery to speak up. Kakashi had a knack for playing the boys like a couple of instruments… but probably drums or something, because she just couldn't see him solemnly picking at a shamisen or something like that. Although he would be great if he tried.

Sasuke had picked up the conversational thread as well. "Historically speaking, yes," he snarked.

She turned her face down to Mitsuo (happily licking at an irritated man's face) so Sasuke didn't see her eyes roll. Big talk, from a guy who hadn't noticed the undercover Chuunin in their midst.

Granted, it wasn't that he was stupid, and he had still easily wiped the floor with his opponents which pretty well proved that he was a high Chuunin-level fighter. He just had little practical experience with real civilians that would have clued him in to the oddities in their friends' charade. There had been hints: like the textbook time it took them to begin to display tiredness every day, or the too-inefficient ways that they went about setting up camp at night without ever improving. Come on, civilians were untrained, not stupid.

Kakashi shrugged, walking away without a care. "If we kill them, Konoha will have to deal with repercussions. It's not like it matters. Konoha ninja are far more skilled than these…"

His pause was uncharacteristic. It probably meant he wanted them to jump in. She was happy to oblige.

"inept hacks?" Aiko piped in at the same time that Sai offered, "weaklings?" and Sasuke monotoned, "uncouth plebians?"

Kakashi tilted his head contemplatively. "I was going to say Lightning shinobi, but those terms all equate to about the same thing."

If she hadn't turned around expectantly for the reaction, she might not have seen the pile-up of bound and disarmed Lightning shinobi wilt even further, as if someone on the bottom had given up out of embarrassment.

It was a particularly humiliating situation to be in. Their mission had failed, and they would have to return home unsuccessful, telling their superiors that they had been bested by a single team that hadn't even thought them worth killing. She actually felt a little bad for them—it hadn't been their fault they'd been assigned such a mission. How were they ever going to explain this away without losing all their dignity? She didn't know how much self-respect she'd be able to muster if she'd been stripped to her underwear to ensure she wasn't hiding any more weaponry and then left in a pile on the road, waiting to be found by helpful travelers.

Oh well. That was their problem, not hers, as long as they didn't try to get back into Fire Country.

 

"It was Sharingan no Kakashi," Ichigo swore, putting a hand over his heart.

"But not just him!" Kenpachi chimed in. "He had a whole ANBU squad disguised as a Chuunin team with him. Our cover must have been broken before we ever got into Konoha."

"Yeah," Mei added sincerely. "You should have seen them! They had an oni with them, one with hair like fire!" She made a face. "A badly dressed oni at that," she muttered in an aside to a blue-haired man who snickered with her.

"Don't forget the man with the massive shuriken," someone added from the back of the group. "Seven feet tall, he was, and blood in his eyes."

"And the last…" Ichigo shuddered. "Half naked boy, pale as paper, and crazy to boot. Kept trying to start fights with his own companions."

"We barely escaped with our lives," Hana added solemnly, staring deep into her hands and looking genuinely disturbed. "They were after us like Inuzuka hounds. If we'd been just a little bit slower…" she dragged a finger meaningfully across her throat.

"Jeeze," the border guard breathed, looking disturbed. "Just… Here, you'd better go in straight away."

"Hard mission?" His partner asked when he returned just in time to see a large group of shinobi in peasant plainclothes stagger into the village.

A bit smug at having gotten the juicy gossip, he nodded vigorously. "I'll say! They just got back from fighting Sharingan no Kakashi and an entire Konoha ANBU squad! One of them had a demon mask and red hair to match!"

The detail was compelling, after all. Konoha always seemed to use animal symbols for their ANBU. What kind of monsters had that team run into?

"Ha!" his coworker scoffed, toasting the weary travelers' backs with his water bottle. "Course they did. What a few ANBU compared to real shinobi? They're good enough for Konoha work, of course, but up here, ninja just come tougher."

 

OMAKE

Because they did have more than one mission as a group…

"This is ridiculous." The whine was uncharacteristic. But Sasuke had been pushed to the limits. "I mean," he continued, gesturing stiffly, "this is our fourth C-rank in a row that was miraculously resolved before we got there. Once, I can understand. I can even be happy for the village plagued by bears that solved their problem on their own by realizing the bears were only reacting to territory encroachment. The second mission was acceptable as well, even if we still don't know how that missing nin ended up dead before we got there."

"I know, I know," Aiko agreed, irritated. "And this last mission. It was…" She gave a helpless shrug. "It's positively surreal that the leader of those bandits decided he would rather finish his education and work in finance, forever abandoning a career robbing traveling merchants to transition to legally getting their money."

Tsunade snickered. "Tell me about the third one, again? I've forgotten how that turned out."

"We don't talk about the third mission," Kakashi said darkly, fingers tightening on the open book he wasn't reading.

Sai furrowed his brow and opened his mouth to speak.

He was cut off by Sasuke. "We Don't. Talk. About the third mission," he practically hissed.

Poor Sai looked confused. Aiko reached over and patted his hand reassuringly, completely missing the way that Sasuke's eyes narrowed in sheer irritation. He didn't like her being nice to Sai. But he was just so adorably lost in conversations all the time that she couldn't help but want to help him out.

"Your luck as a team is positively bizarre," Tsunade allowed, somehow managing to seem somewhat professional despite the fact that they all knew she was on the verge of cackling at their misfortune. "I can't imagine a shinobi with stranger luck."

 

Naruto gave a vicious battle-cry, parrying an oversized sword with the ice cream spoon he'd been using when a group of drunks invaded the festival. He was almost glad the pervert wasn't here because he was just so embarrassing. There were only ten guys—he could take 'em.

 

"And anyways," Tsunade decided, waving a sheaf of papers at the group, "That's all in the past, now. I'm sure that this mission will work out!"


	54. As One Door Opens

Tsunade wiggled her feet between the couch cushions in an attempt to get comfortable. Her toes felt like blocks of ice. No amount of adjusting for comfort could put off the upcoming conversation for long, however. Besides, she was already much more comfortable than usual and consequently in a good mood. With Shizune out of town, there was no one to aim big mournful eyes that made Tsunade feel guilty for relocating to her front room to work instead of her office. She was sick of the office.

She had already given the different ways this dialogue could go considerable thought while her ANBU guard had resentfully plodded off to fetch her guest. It probably wouldn't be a particularly enjoyable conversation. But since she was already busy working on rearranging her most loyal pieces, it made sense to get this done and out of the way now.

To that end, she'd picked out her rhetorical strategy and decided to keep this brief. It was best to get to the point and only subtly move the conversation in the direction she wanted without actually attempting to persuade her target. Independent personality types didn't react well to being obviously herded.

That was fine, to be honest. She could see multiple directions for this shinobi to choose from, and how Tsunade stood to gain from all of them. Of course, she did have one she thought was more likely…

"Aiko, have you thought about your Jounin examinations?"

The question threw Aiko for a bit of a loop. It took a moment to recalibrate. To buy time, she asked, "Hokage-sama?" and just hoped that clarification would be upcoming.

Instead of replying, Tsunade offered her a platter of circular tan cookies. She took it awkwardly and suddenly wondered how many it was appropriate and polite to take. She'd never been invited into a Kage's home before. The bizarrely informal atmosphere was actually making her highly uncomfortable.

The older woman undoubtedly knew that.

Aiko settled for two cookies and gratefully slid the platter down onto the glass table between the two of them like a protective shield. The entire time, amber eyes were watching her closely as if waiting for something. She shifted uncomfortably and wished she could stand.

"I'm not in the business of having A and S class Chuunin," Tsunade pointed out dryly. "You're well on your way to that range by dint of the Hiraishin alone."

"I can't be," Aiko said, honestly bewildered. "Kakashi and Yamato bat me around like a cat toy."

"Oh, boo hoo." Tsunade rolled her eyes with a mischievous smile. "You mean that two of the best shinobi to ever come out of the ANBU program are still stronger than you? Oh well, I suppose I should just demote you back down to genin status." She flashed white, white teeth in a charmingly lopsided grin. It seemed sincere, for some reason. "Please tell me you hear how ridiculous you just sounded. I wouldn't pit most of my experienced Jounin against those two. I don't think you understand just what kind of career you were slated for when you were handed off to Hatake as a student."

She could feel heat rise in her cheeks. 'Okay, that was a little naïve,' she allowed. In lieu of verbal reply, she bent her head to let her loose hair slide forward in a reddish wave that hid her face.

Tsunade actually giggled. "I'll take that as a yes. Drink your tea, it's getting cold. And you'd better enjoy those cookies. They were painstakingly baked by Shizune."

Aiko eyed them uncertainly. Shizune-san had never seemed like much of a cook to her, but she wasn't going to say that. It was a pretty rude thing to think about such a nice lady, and one she really didn't even know on a personal level. Judgments like that were wrong all the time. Carefully she took a delicate bite—and struggled to maintain a straight face.

"Yes, they're awful," Tsunade allowed. "But if I throw them all away…" She trailed off and waved a hand irritably. "I find the tea helps. If that's not strong enough, I have this too." Long, pale fingers retrieved a narrow, colored bottle hidden down the front of her shirt. Aiko raised her eyebrows, downright impressed. She'd had no idea that was there, and it wasn't like Tsunade's cleavage was ever truly unobserved. It was like being in a room with a sleeping tiger: even if you weren't consciously thinking about it, you were making sure it didn't move too much.

Wordlessly, Aiko drained half her tea and held the cup out for Tsunade to pour a little alcohol in. She instead poured in a lot and then they exchanged the bottle so that Aiko could pour some for the Hokage. It was rude to pour your own drink, after all.

And those cookies tasted suspiciously like medicine underneath all the sugar.

"What do you know about how Chuunin become Jounin?"

The question was simple enough. So was her answer. "I don't really know anything," Aiko answered honestly. 'I suppose you get promoted when someone notices that you've advanced skill-wise? It can't be normal for the Hokage to do individual counseling meetings like this…' That was vague enough that she was sure it wasn't what Tsunade was looking for. Better to admit ignorance than try to bullshit the Hokage.

It must have been the right decision, because red-painted lips curved into a faint smile over a blue and white china cup.

"A more intelligent answer than one would think. Most don't know, because Jounin promotions are as much about politics as they are about reflecting skill levels. Sometimes that takes the form of promoting shinobi who had skill sets we desperately need at higher clearance, and sometimes it means keeping otherwise qualified shinobi out of the public eye where they can't make too much trouble."

"So… are you saying that there's some vacant space on a roster that you need me to fill?" That made some sense… but Tsunade shook her head.

"Not precisely. There isn't any one particular role I've slotted you for. You're going to be going to a personality and aptitude evaluation first, at which point you will be further counseled on your options. Unless of course you already have a preference, in which case we can skip directly to evaluating your aptitude for that position." She frowned slightly and lifted a shoulder to acknowledge, "I cannot force you to accept a promotion, but I can promise that this is not an attempt to break up your team. You will likely still be placed with team Kakashi on missions where your skill sets align, after an introductory training period into your new niche."

The next words were delicately phrased, but her eyes bored into Aiko as if they could see straight into her soul. "You would be with that team much more often, of course, if you were to take a path that would lessen the gap between your mutual experiences and training."

It didn't take a genius to figure that one out. Only a minute ago Tsunade had credited ANBU training for Kakashi and Yamato's advanced skills to some extent. She was being told to aim for ANBU. But why not tell her directly?

Tsunade's face was devoid of any hints.

Aiko swallowed, mind working furiously. 'I can't avoid promotion forever,' she noted. 'And… and I need to get stronger. Will ANBU do that for me?' Doubtlessly, Naruto had far surpassed her by now, even with her headstart. She didn't know much about what other Jounin did—they could be teachers, she knew, but wasn't she too young for that? Jounin led teams of Chuunin in various specialties, but she didn't want that path. It would put more pressure than she wanted on her and take her too far away from her team. No, she was fine being a subordinate.

When shit started to go very wrong in less than a year, would she be trusted to accompany Team Kakashi? She hadn't been exaggerating about the gulf between her and Yamato, even though they shared similarly powerful bloodline abilities. She wasn't sturdy enough to take the kind of hits Naruto did, and she certainly didn't have Kakashi's skill.

She really didn't know the answer, and she could only think of one basis for comparison that indicated she was skilled enough to be on the team: She was still stronger than Sasuke as a combatant. Would Tsunade trust this apprentice with those missions? Perhaps Sakura would have been more prepared than Sasuke was, or perhaps they were less desperate now than they would have been if that had happened?

Would ANBU work really change her life? Tsunade had implied that the harsh requirements often affected members. Aiko thought she could handle almost anything... but she didn't really know that much about what ANBU did. No one knew. She would be going in partially blind. That was terrifying.

The uncertainties welling up, she took too long to respond.

"Yes?" Tsunade prompted, mild irritation in her tone. "Do you need more time to think?"

Her heart was beating a harsh staccato against her ribs.

Yes. She needed more time to think. This wasn't a decision she could make on such short notice.

"No," Aiko found herself saying impulsively. "I want to accept a promotion and apply for a position in the ANBU unit, Hokage-sama. What do I need to do?"

"Leave it all to me." Tsunade idly dunked a cookie in her spiked tea and spun it around to make a current. "All that you need to do is report to the blue-roofed office building on the intersection of fifth and Inu tomorrow morning by four am. Tell the secretary that you have an appointment with special evaluations."

"Hai, Hokage-sama," she muttered hollowly, committing the details to memory. That was terribly early, but a full hour after the bars closed so the streets should have been cleared of those stragglers. It was probably arranged so that as few people as possible saw applicants like her entering the building. She'd never noticed a building like that before. Genjutsu? Possibly. Or it might just be nondescript.

A thought occurred. "W-will my team know?"

Tsunade snorted. "If they pull their heads from their posteriors and pay attention," she allowed. "Officially, you are not allowed to inform anyone outside of ANBU headquarters, but it is strongly discouraged to share your identity with anyone but your actual ANBU team. You might want to get a wig, by the way." She pointed absently at Aiko's reddish-orange mop of wavy locks. "In practice, I would follow most of that advice, except you can feel free to tell your team members in ANBU of your appointment, as well as one outside individual who will be your psychological contact. They will be expected to keep an eye on your mental state, as the added stress of ANBU work sometimes bothers people more than regular work."

Aiko felt a little green.

"I don't anticipate that being a problem with you, however," she allowed generously. "Your current profile indicates that you're about as stable as expected, with healthy compartmentalization techniques."

'Only a ninja would say something like that,' she thought vaguely. She cleared her throat, fingers tugging unconsciously at her hair. It grew fast and was long now—almost to the thinnest part of her waist. "A wig, Hokage-sama?" She had no idea where to get one of those.

Tsunade gave a restrained huff. "I would recommend as far from your natural coloring and current cut as possible," she pointed out, examining the girl in front of her. The wickedly amused expression in her eyes reminded Aiko startlingly of Naruto. "Either a plain black or something really…. Wild," she drew out teasingly. "How do you look in blue?"

Aiko was surprised into a giggle. She hadn't even considered that—her concern had been on actually acquiring a wig, but she had sort of thought that it would make sense to get something completely non-distinct. But it was true that the purpose of that sort of disguise wouldn't necessarily be to make her inconspicuous. Everyone looked at ANBU when they walked down a street, so she couldn't hope to hide among civilians or anything. It was just that they couldn't look at her and recognize that the girl in the mask had to be Aiko.

"Blue is fine," she managed, not entirely certain as to whether or not her Hokage was joking. It wasn't like she particularly cared one way or another, so why the hell not.

"Excellent." Tsunade snickered. "I'll present it to you tomorrow after your evaluation. Assuming you meet requirements for entrance, of course," she quickly qualified. "If you don't, we'll find another position for you."

 

By seven the next morning, Tsunade was parsing through the freshly stamped report on her desk with a smug expression. A series of spars and demonstrations, a short counseling session, word-association tests, and other devices had painted a clear picture for her that aligned well with Tsunade's own suspicions.

The girl was good. Tsunade had expected that skill-wise, of course, but she was also functionally stable and looked to be highly reliable. Agents that relied heavily on human interaction to detoxify after stress often suffered in ANBU when they couldn't discuss their duties, but Aiko was a recluse by nature. However, unlike many of those reclusive characters, she did a fairly good job of faking social interest when needed, a potentially valuable skill.

When her personality profile was added to her natural intelligence and sturdy ties to the village center, Aiko was as strong a candidate as Tsunade could have hoped for. Kakashi wouldn't be pleased, of course, but a month of heavy conditioning would easily mold her into an ANBU operative… one who Tsunade could trust without a doubt to be unaffiliated with Danzo's root. How much easier would it be to start picking at oddities with an extra set of ears directly in the small but crucial organization, especially when that operative was a paranoid little genius trained by Hatake Kakashi? She would be informed of her constant secondary mission soon, after Tsunade had managed to hunt her down a role in the roster.

Although the answer seemed obvious, she didn't really need another tracker right now. She had four Inuzuka alone in the ranks—there were plenty of experienced shinobi who were much less capable of transitioning to another role. Tsunade flipped through her options contemplatively, holding up a hand to silence Shizune. The girl obediently backed out of the office and quietly shut the door, recognizing that her mentor was thinking.

Infiltration was a possibility that Aiko in particular could excel at. Her characteristic emotional detachment would make it much harder for her to succumb to the typical foibles of shinobi stranded alone in enemy territory for extended periods…. But it wouldn't help Tsunade with her Root problem. No, that wouldn't do at all. She needed to be able to interact frequently with other operatives.

Front-line combat squad assignment would have fulfilled that criteria, but she took the option off the table immediately. She didn't actually want to endanger Aiko more than necessary, and not just because Hatake would be in her office glowering (until someone lost their temper and confiscated his remaining eye to cut that shit out, at least) when he inevitably found out. No, Aiko was a bit young for that sort of general assignment when it wasn't absolutely critical. Perhaps she could take those missions on an individual basis as a consultant, but not regularly, not now. One of the things that Tsunade most wanted to change about her village was the low life expectancy rate for shinobi, and one of the most efficient ways to get people killed was to send them out in high-pressure situations early and often.

'Well, what's the safest assignment available within the most dangerous role in the village hierarchy?' Her lips twisted into an ironic little smile. 'Why, guarding the Hokage and the village itself, of course. She would interact with multiple groups… and it would also keep her conveniently close to obscure her new posting.'

She didn't have to help the girl obscure her ANBU promotion, of course, but when the opportunity to make her life a little easier just dropped in her lap Tsunade didn't see a reason not to take it.

It was decided then. Aiko's first assignment would be split between guarding her personal office (a bit of a necessary joke, as Tsunade could damn well guard herself. The average threats were papercuts and restlessness, and no amount of ANBU could prevent that) and patrolling the village as the Uchiha police force had used to do every so often. The second posting would allow her to interact with her ANBU peers, and the first would give Tsunade ample opportunity to covertly communicate and prepare the girl for her possible future role in the upper echelons of intelligence work.

It was best not to have all her eggs in one basket, after all. She damn well intended to retire in a few years, and she had not one but three young people who were visibly well on their way to being Kage level shinobi (two of whom were a previous Kage's child and the other was her adorable student and one of the last scions of a founding clan. The potential postings even made sense in the tradition of leadership roles being inherited). It would be stupid to ignore preparing one, especially since the three were close enough that the two who didn't get the hat would probably be their Kage's closest advisors. Promotions gave them credibility, prestige, and visibility that they would desperately need.

 

Aiko felt dazed walking home. It was early morning, but she had already been physically taxed. The intellectual requirements of preliminary ANBU qualifications had been a breeze, at least, but she had too many other things on her mind to feel relaxed.

She'd promised herself that if she passed, she wouldn't put off talking to Kakashi this time. Their last argument (minor in the grand scheme of things) had been eclipsed by the subsequent lack of communication and festered stupidly. This situation was probably similar. She knew that he would have to respect her decision, but she still didn't want to address it. She didn't try to fool herself, however: trying to hide it from him would both be ineffective and damaging to their repaired but still slightly fragile dynamic.

'I should probably find him before the end of the day,' Aiko decided. 'I don't want to be immature and avoid things that make me uncomfortable. If I'm old enough for ANBU work, I'm old enough to talk to people I like about uncomfortable things without my arm being twisted.'

"Hey, Aiko!"

Speak of the devil.

No, not Kakashi. God only knows that he was never that perky. It was the other elephant in the room she was avoiding.

'Well, I can't very well make a new resolution that only applies to one person,' Aiko sighed, and put on a game face.

"Hi, Tenten. How are you?"

The other girl came to a stop, adjusting the weight of the pack on her back and waving her team on. Neji gave her a dirty look, but didn't bother to protest. "I'm fine," she allowed. A flicker of uncertainly crossed her face, inexpertly covered by a placating smile. "I meant to talk to you earlier—you kind of ran off in the hurry the last time I saw you."

'Oh hell,' Aiko cursed. That had probably been confusing for poor Tenten. "Yeah, I did," she admitted. "It was rude of me. To be honest, I was feeling really overwhelmed by all the noise and activity and socialization, and I tend to retreat when I'm uncomfortable."

Tenten grimaced. "I thought it was something like that." She sighed, resting a hand on her hip before seeming to realize they were standing in the street. Aiko noticed her discomfort and jerked her head to indicate they should start walking. As they fell into step, Tenten fidgeted a little. "You know, I wouldn't think that was such a big deal, except that you didn't say anything to me for what… a month and a half?" She frowned. "And I had to be the one to track you down," Tenten added, a little defensively. "That wasn't fair, you know."

Aiko swallowed, unconsciously tapping her fingers against her thigh in a pattern that spelled out 'need non-combat help'. Tenten didn't seem to notice, but a thin man to her left with a sleek ponytail glanced over in alarm, noted that she was just in an uncomfortable conversation, and gave an unsympathetic snort before hastily taking off as if to avoid the awkwardness.

She was a bit envious, once she caught herself frantically repeating the pattern and forced her fingers to stop. It wasn't a conversation she should run from.

"You're absolutely right."

May as well admit it. They were both well-aware.

"I was out of the village for almost all of that time, but that's just an excuse and not a reason. I ran into a situation that made me uncomfortable and intentionally avoided getting in a similar one." (Aiko was avoidant, not unaware of her own actions.)

Tenten gave a rueful smile. "You know, you're making it hard to be mad at you when you're so factual and self-aware. I had a whole speech planned out."

Aiko chewed at the inside of her cheek, feeling awkward. When her companion made to speak, she slouched her shoulders in a little defensively. She already knew she'd messed up, and was pretty sure what was coming. She even knew she deserved it, and wasn't particularly heartbroken. That still didn't mean she wanted to hear it.

"I think I deserve someone who isn't going to do that to me," Tenten pointed out delicately. "I think we're done, whatever we were in the first place. Still…" she glanced at Aiko shyly. "Friends? I think we should start over."

The offer to be friends was probably just a way for Tenten to feel better about sort-of-dumping her sort-of-girlfriend. It smoothed over hurt egos, and allowed her mental image of herself as a nice girl not to change. Otherwise, it sort of seemed like they'd had a makeout one-night-stand. Tenten seemed like the kind of person who thought that 'nice girls' didn't do things like that. Aiko fundamentally disagreed—definitions like that were stupid and restrictive.

Aiko saw right through it, but she didn't mind indulging the maneuver. "Yeah." She gave a fake smile. Unlike Sai's inept attempts, her fake smiles reached her eyes. Tenten looked relieved at it. "Friends."

When they parted ways, it was spectacularly awkward, but at least it was over. Aiko gave a deep sigh of relief. At least it was settled. 'And hey, my talk with Kakashi can't really get worse than that clusterfuck of awkward,' she pointed out to herself. 'He can hardly dump me.' Her shishou was a bit protective, but even he had to know she couldn't avoid specialization and outside assignments forever. Granted, the change was probably going to be more sudden than he'd approve of, but he had been loosening the reins lately. Considering his precise, controlling personality, any effort in that regard was significant.

Despite her resolve, she didn't actually find Kakashi until the next day when she half-heartedly waited outside the clearing where he was sitting cross-legged in front of the memorial stone. Aiko didn't want to take advantage of the trust he'd placed in her with the Hiraishin to track him down unless it was something critical—flashing into the middle of his home (where she had never been) in order to tell him that she was signed up for ANBU training would definitely be a violation of his comfort zone.

"You can come out, you know."

'I guess that's an invitation.' Aiko slowly walked over, crossing her arms into her torso and slightly regretting not checking the forecast. She really had no tolerance for cold. It would have been a good day for a scarf and that hideous but snuggly Chuunin vest.

Kakashi deigned to look up at her and clearly noted her discomfort, though apparently not the source. A hint of dark amusement flashed in his eye. "I don't bite."

Well, okay. That was a partially accurate assessment of her unease.

"I know." She flopped down to the ground next to him, letting their legs brush to leech some of his body heat. (That was a valid survival strategy, she was sure. As well as a convenient distraction). He allowed the contact, though he seemed a bit uncomfortable with it, quickly glancing away after he looked at her.

That was new. He'd gotten used to letting her hang off of him. Apparently her recent distance had registered.

Made sense. He wasn't a man who missed much.

"I talked to Tsunade day before yesterday." He hmmed, a familiar signal for her to continue. "She told me to apply for ANBU." She indulged in a quick check of his features. He didn't appear to have reacted. "I accepted. I thought I should tell you."

"I see."

Oh no. The stiff tone made her wince.

"What exactly will you be doing?"

She wrapped her arms around her knees and stared down as if her toes were fascinating. "In-village positions on guard rosters, mostly."

'Just that and spying on an internal traitorous organization, but I can't tell you that. Not worrying at all, shishou.'

Then she dared a cringing look back to find out he was watching her steadily. It was a bit unnerving. Aiko swallowed, hard, pulse jumping. She did so desperately want for him not to be upset with her. "I'm not like, leaving the team," she explained in a rush of words, just wanting to make him stop focusing all that intensity on her. "She says that if I get the training, I can-"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me." His tone was fond, but tinged with sadness. "You can't stay with your genin sensei forever. That's not how pack works."

"Pack?" she asked awkwardly.

"Pack," he confirmed, leaning back on his hands and looking up. "Puppies grow up. I'm not so forgetful that I don't remember that."

 

I'm aware the Tenten scene was uncomfortable—it was meant to be. Because even mature teenagers are awkward, guys. It's a little funnier in retrospect, but being in that place sucks. Poor honeys.


	55. Chapter 55

Gai was the ANBU physical conditioning leader.

'No,' Aiko internally corrected, trying not to breathe too hard. She was winded, but the panting hurt her ribs. Her first assessment didn't quite sum up the situation.

GAI. WAS. THE. ANBU PHYSICAL CONDITIONING LEADER. Gai.

It was the sort of thing that had to be expressed in all capitals, even in her head. The whole experience was a miserable, humiliating cesspit. She was the only person beginning the introductory physical conditioning, although there were two men who were several weeks ahead of her in the program. That meant that they shared workouts, and that they had had a chance to adjust to the hellish regimen. Consequently, they were not interested in bonding over the muscle pain and semi-frequently cracked bones that high intensity training with Maito Gai involved.

At least ANBU had damn good medics on call—it was pretty much expected that trainees would need medical attention after every workout, so someone was always there to briskly fix them up. Their practices went so long that Aiko thought Gai almost had to be using a solid clone: there was no way Lee wouldn't question his absence for six hours at a time every morning from 6:30 am until half past noon.

The first time he had broken her radius bone after a sloppy block barely executed in time to save her poor aching ribs, she had dismissed the theory that she was sparring with a clone. No. This had to be the real Gai. The sheer physical power that he used all spar, every spar, would have dispelled even the hardiest of clone techniques.

'Although I suppose that for all I know he's invented a diamond clone,' she snarked internally, carefully rotating her newly healed ankle when directed. She didn't speak: her mouth still tasted of bile when she'd thrown up during the workout, and the medic didn't deserve a face-full of dinosaur breath.

The idea of a diamond clone was ridiculous, of course. But there wasn't much else that could withstand that much abuse. He really was a monster—a cheery monster, but a monster nonetheless. She was never going to even allow herself to feel amused about his posturing and self-given titles. If he wanted to declare himself the queen of Sheba, she would just fucking smile and nod.

If he had wanted to be her eternal rival, she would have defected. For the first time, she thought that Kakashi was fucking nuts for having anything to do with Maito Gai. She knew Kakashi's skill set inside and out—he wasn't as physically strong as Gai, and even his prodigious speed wasn't enough to make up the difference.

Of course, the assessment may not have been fair, because she knew damn well that Kakashi was a ninjutsu specialist. Just because he couldn't defeat Gai with straight taijutsu didn't mean that he wasn't still the stronger combatant on the whole. If they'd had a no-holds barred, with-

The medic released his grip on her with a jolt, tugging her shirt back down to cover the newly healed contusion. It brought her sufficiently back to the real world to wonder, 'Why am I contemplating who would win in a Mortal Kombat match-up? It's not like I can pit them against each other.'

She was almost glad that Gai didn't know who he was training… Would this be worse if he knew he was helping the girl who had ditched his student, or would he be more lenient because she was his rival's student?

Aiko just didn't want to find out. Leniency in her training could kill her later on, but it was hard to wish for a stricter regimen.

She both loved and hated the anonymity in processing. Everyone but ANBU Turtle wore blank masks. As far as she knew, she was the only one with a wig, but there was no way to know for sure. Gai wasn't wearing one (unless he always wore one, she supposed). Tsunade had really pulled through on the wig. On some level Aiko had thought that was a joke, but she was now the owner of a 100% human hair sky-blue wig. It was relatively short—it barely pulled back into a messy ponytail at her nape that did give it an air of authenticity it would have lacked if it were perfect. Originally she had thought that a totally human hair wig was a ridiculous investment. It had to have been very expensive, and it wasn't like anyone would be complimenting her on her hair.

The purpose behind that detail was now vividly clear. By the time she was given four minutes for the first water break of the day, she was soaked with sweat. It was utterly repulsive. Aiko had barely enough time for the salt to dry on her skin before it was time to limp back to work. If the wig hadn't been real hair, she couldn't have properly washed it. It was so well-made that she actually was able to shower with it on in an ANBU locker room attached to the training facility. That was a blessing, because the idea of having to drag herself home before she could clean up was almost enough to make her want to cry. She had stumbled through the first two days with difficulty—on the third, she had actually passed out on the shower floor and woke up an hour later, shivering and blue because the water had turned cold. No one had noticed or cared enough to do anything about it. That, more than anything else, told her that the patterns she was seeing in training weren't in her imagination.

ANBU processing was designed to mold a specific kind of soldier. She could easily recognize the influence of various psychological truths: the vicious brutality was meant to inure recruits to physical discomfort. The mindless repetition was preparation for nudging minds to follow orders at all costs. The facelessness of her fellow recruits was meant to isolate her, so that recruits didn't form possibly disruptive friendships that could endanger missions or manage to spread malcontent within the ranks. It was designed to force the recruit to internalize everything. (And now that she saw it with her own eyes, it made so much more sense that Danzo could have hidden another organization in here).

She knew that, and it was still all but impossible not to see the results it had on her. Being aware of the manipulation didn't make it all go away, even if she refused to accept it blindly.

Dragging herself home after training ceased to be an issue the second week, when she was required to temporarily move into the barracks. Aiko had the goddamn lonely realization that she didn't have to tell anyone. Karin had gotten assigned to a temp team for the Chuunin exams coming up very soon and was doing last minute team training so they could push through, and Hinata was nowhere to be found. Probably she was on her own mission.

Not having to sneak home had its charm. The logistics of not being seen as Aiko in or near the training facility but also not being seen as an ANBU trainee in public made her head hurt, after all. But it quickly became clear that the second stage of training had been in order to control their daily conditions and not a kindness. The second week was when the sleep deprivation started.

She wasn't entirely sure that what they had her doing to force her to stay awake was important. It might have been. Alone in a room with a single lightbulb, she plowed through what must have been a literal pile of paperwork as quickly as she could in order to get a chance to go to bed soon. There was no way to know how much work she had done—the blank sheets were passed through a metal tray under a one-way mirror, one at a time after she pushed over what she had just done. There literally seemed to be no end, and there was no way to judge the passage of time except by how often a shrill alarm was blasted to force her awake if she'd been beginning to nod off or slow down. Her initial instructions had been that how much 'free time' (sleep isn't free time, she'd thought indignantly, back when she could care about things like that) she had was dependent on how efficiently she performed the small tasks they had for her.

It was ham-handed mental manipulation, she had scoffed when it began. When it began to grow wearisome, her pace had slipped for a while, but desperation to just get it over with and get out of that goddamn tiny room had taken over her body and she frantically sped through the work. That meant she made mistakes, signaled by that horrible shrill alarm and the torturous necessity of waiting for the person on the other side of the glass to stop fucking with her and pass the paper back so she could fix it and move on.

Eventually, she couldn't ignore the sinking feeling that she was not going to have an opportunity to sleep at all.

She was right. The next thing she knew was that the door had opened, releasing what looked like but couldn't be morning light into her prison cell. Then it was blocked by the disapproving form of a masked man. "That was pathetic. I hope that your next performance is more satisfactory. You have half an hour for bathroom and rations before you report to conditioning."

'You're full of shit,' she thought angrily, pushing her way out of the room. (She knew better than to talk back.) 'I didn't do anything wrong. The intention was to keep me here all night from the start.'

Knowing that factually didn't stop her from actually crying something like seven hours later when she was collected from the mess hall and brought straight back to that same box of a room after Gai had finished brutalizing her for the day. The constant pain (the medics didn't heal muscle soreness because that would undo the work building muscles) was somehow ever worse when she just. couldn't. stop. shaking. Taijutsu had been even worse than usual—she was exhausted and literally could not stop wavering and misjudging blows. Gai mercilessly harangued her for falling below her previous low marks while her two peers looked on with what seemed to be amusement behind their white masks. Aiko hated them. She hated them.

At this point, her body seemed to have given up on nodding off regardless of consequences, leaving her in a hazy, wide form of consciousness where she knew she wasn't thinking like she usually would but she couldn't dig deeper into anything without losing her train of thought. It was terrifying for someone who spent most of their time thinking. She'd do anything to make it stop.

The first document of the night was ruined by saltwater falling on it, and that horrible alarm went off again almost immediately. Somehow, she managed to collect herself in the long stillness while that man who had scolded her that morning got a replacement. She had to hold together. Having an emotional reaction to the stress was only making things harder on herself.

Despite being more exhausted than she had ever been before in her life, Aiko managed to slip into a focused state. It didn't require thinking—it was just scanning and motion. She just had to do what she was told and they would stop jolting her with that sound. She did task after task, and she did them perfectly. Eventually, her mind settled into a deep meditative calm, and she felt the stress fade. The lightbulb still swung above her head, but the shifting shadows didn't bother her as much as they had before. It was just an inconvenience. Just an obstacle. They had to be planning on letting her rest at some point. When she'd finished what they wanted, they would let her go.

If they didn't, she would die here. Or worse, live like this every day.

'Or use the Hiraishin to get out,' her mind whispered, naturally rebelling against the idea of letting these people reduce her to their mercy. No. She wasn't. She could leave at any time, if she was over her head. They had no idea she had a nearly effortless escape route. No matter what they did to her, she could always leave if it was too much. Aiko was miserable, but she wasn't broken. She was in ANBU training because she wanted to be, and no other reason. It certainly wasn't to be someone else's tool. She had her own agenda, even if it was the frighteningly vague 'Don't die and don't let Naruto die'.

It wasn't like she gave a shit about Konoha one way or the other. It was just a place to live, not a home like it was for Naruto. Aiko wasn't stupid enough to claim she hadn't been affected at all by the propaganda and conditioning, but she knew she hadn't come to the conclusions Konoha would have wanted.

Konoha worked hard to inspire collectivism and patriotism—a genuine belief that they were somehow intrinsically different and superior to all other places. They were the kindest, they were the strongest, they had the best dango. It was widespread inundation meant to resonate with all types of people. By inverse, all other places were either enemies, pitiable, or allies to be kept at a distance. There were exceptions, of course, but on the whole Konoha was looking out for number one.

Aiko took a decidedly Marxist perspective on it. Konoha wasn't really a nation belonging to the people. Konoha was a highly centralized military power run by a few elites who were a class as removed from the people they ruled as Konoha supposedly was from Rock. It was those people, like Danzo, who intentionally manipulated and sacrificed other human beings for power and privilege that she despised. Most of her comrades were just chumps. Their mealy-mouthed repetition of the party line was due to the fact that they didn't really know better.

Really, coming to other conclusions would provide severe cognitive dissonance. No one wanted to think that they might die so a few old people might get more powerful. No, Konoha shinobi died for a cause.

Her own sarcasm almost gave her a headache in her weary state.

She did genuinely like Tsunade. Their Hokage seemed to want to serve her people, not gain power or privilege. For her, Aiko would be willing to keep an eye out for Root subversion.

But her first loyalty wasn't to the office of Hokage. It was still with the one person she could honestly consider family (because no matter what anyone said, it gave her severe cognitive dissonance to think of herself as ever having been a child and therefore having parents. She had been an adult consciousness for as long as she'd lived in this world: adults couldn't have parents if they hadn't had a childhood). But Naruto could be family without straining her sense of self. She'd raised Naruto—he felt more like a son than a brother sometimes, but she was willing to blur the lines between those roles to obfuscate her own oddities. If he'd wanted to leave, she would have been long gone. Maybe they would never have had to get involved in all of this ninja stupidity.

She couldn't help but give a sad smile at that. 'No chance of that, Naruto was brainwashed by the glamour of being a ninja since he was like, six.'

To comfort herself, she reached out and lightly strummed the connection she felt to one of her seals. Aiko had no idea which one it was—either Kakashi or Yamato had gone north—but she didn't much care either. If things got bad enough that she wanted to leave, she would be willing to deal with even the embarrassment of ending up in Yamato's lap.

'Whoever designed this really isn't as thorough as they think they are,' she noted, doing her best to contain the muscle spasm that made her calligraphy ugly. At least, not with the mental conditioning and testing. The physical requirements were certainly rigorous enough. But if they'd really done an accurate mental profile, she would have been rejected for service when it became clear that she wasn't particularly loyal to Konoha. Her loyalty was to a couple of people. If they died or left...

Well. In any case, she'd lied all over her entrance paperwork and association tests, but there was always a way to tell. No lie was perfect, and all falsehoods had patterns unless you knew the test.

"You've earned yourself a break."

Her fingers tightened around her ink brush in surprise, but she didn't argue. She carefully laid it down on her workspace, neatly and horizontally. These people wanted preciseness and outward perfection. She could give it to them, since they were so insistent on seeing meaning in the mundane.

 

Morino Ibiki checked his watch, knowing that no one would judge him or ever care if he woke recruit 279 up from her rest period early so he could just go home already. "Sixteen minutes…" He settled back down to wait. 'May as well give her as much time as possible'. She wasn't looking too well. Of course, that was largely his fault.

"Hell, I hate this part of the job," he grumbled to himself. He put up with it, though. It would be pretty shitty of him not to be able to see recruits through the gauntlet he had designed for them personally. ANBU conditioning wasn't meant to be wasteful. It was his job to tailor the programming that each soldier would need to get them sufficiently obedient and emotionally distant from their job.

He fuckin' hated it, if he were to be honest. Sometimes it felt like Konoha wasn't any better than, say, Mist. Granted, this sort of conditioning would be ham-handedly done to one standard regardless of the individual being processed, but that only made it less precise and not less amoral. Mist just got a lot more nutjobs because they put all of their shinobi through conditioning like this periodically without any apparent regard for just how delicate the human mind was. At least Konoha only did this for their black ops. It wasn't pretty, but it was necessary in order to build soldiers who could compete with the nastiest everyone else had to offer.

Now that the first 37 hours of intentional sleep deprivation was over, the recruit had been afforded three hours to crash. They didn't want to kill her, after all, which was a definite possibility with all the stress that the physical conditioning put on raw recruits.

It was hard to do this to someone who looked an awful lot like a kid in the oversized black uniform that disguised the fact that the girl was a petite teen. He'd been surprised to find out she was going to turn fifteen during the course of her training—that was shitty luck, and she sure didn't look that old with her face and body covered.

Even harder to swallow was the bitter medicine of knowing that she'd had the shit luck to test into one of the highest intelligence categories and possessed more than a healthy amount of independent thought for an ideal shinobi. If she'd been more pliable or less intelligent, she probably would have slipped by with 30 hours sleep deprivation so that they could do their best to mold her psyche in the most vulnerable state. As it was, when she woke up thinking it was time for her workout, she would instead be fed and then taken back to the working room for another 4 ½ hours before it was the six am wakeup call.

Regardless of how unpleasant what they were doing was, it was necessary. Elite ANBU, those who got the most stressful and fucked-up missions possible, couldn't be too resistant to authority. That never ended well, and Ibiki hated having to put his own soldiers down if they got rabid. He quietly hoped that the kid sleeping in a fetal position on her camp bed had used that brain of hers to downplay any rebellious personality tendencies in her processing files. It was always a shame to see a personality totally quashed during this process, even if that was supposedly the goal.

She was over the worst of it, now. The next time he checked his watch it was one minute past her free time, so he wordlessly signaled an assistant to drag her out of bed and strode away from his monitors. If she had been going to have a breakdown, it would have been in the last session. Now that she had displayed unquestioning obedience, she would gradually be rewarded with more and more sleep and less critiques. In a few days, she'd reach the next phase of training—where they would build her up around her new identity. Her profile had displayed a natural proclivity towards utilizing compartmentalization, so separating her ANBU identity from her outside identity should be piteously easy. He really did mean that—it was both strange and sad for such a young teenager to have the mindset of a traumatized adult. But it worked well for their purposes.

Inadvertently, he glanced back down at the statistics he'd been working with while compiling the new ANBU's profile. It wasn't the first time he'd seen it, but he still had to shake his head in disbelief.

'I bet that if the Hokage had known what exactly the mental conditioning entailed, she would not have honestly handed over the corrected intelligence data.' Ibiki would certainly never have expected to see that number attached to a teenager's file. 4.5? That was just ridiculous. He wouldn't have known the damn difference. But Tsunade had never been ANBU, and she had never asked in too much detail about his methodology for determining how to tailor this program. The results spoke for themselves: since he had taken over, their ANBU had been much more healthy, mentally stable, and effective than in past.

It wasn't like she'd been honest about the kid's stats anyways. Tsunade had pretty obviously classified something above his pay grade, because the total stats number he had definitely did not reflect the 'good-but-not-shockingly-good' graph he'd been given. The preliminary graph showed 22.5 on the skill count-up, but Tsunade had marked the total as 26 in another area. 3.5 points were just missing.

It was a hell of a jump, especially since it almost had to be between just a couple stat categories. There would have been no reason to hide a gradual, all-around increase in abilities. Seeing as she'd trained with Sharingan no Kakashi and had a measly '2' for her ninjutsu score, he would bet his right ass cheek that some of the discrepancy came from a seriously destructive ninjutsu.

'Actually,' he mused, 'Didn't I hear something about Rock claiming we had a chakra chains user? Could be hysteria, or it could have been her. It'd make sense for Tsunade to keep that as quiet as possible, and it would be a decent bump in Ninjutsu…'

Oh well. It wasn't like he was going to find out anytime soon. It was a weird decision on Tsunade's part, but part of keeping his job was not asking stupid questions. He'd just have to trust her assessment of Uzumaki's combat readiness level without knowing what exact skills contributed. Of course, with her lowest skills being taijutsu, strength, and genjutsu, it had made most sense to push her off onto Gai for a high-intensity training session.

With the expedient of having their newest recruit around full-time and getting what was essentially private tutoring from the best taijutsu artist Konoha knew of, Ibiki would be damn shocked if Gai didn't manage to shoot both her strength and taijutsu up by half a stat point.

Such a thing was very hard on the body, but the recruit was young enough that she would probably bounce back. Gai knew how to give just as much as a student could handle.

ANBU could push their recruits in ways that would be considered shocking on the outside. Damaging a student severely during every training session was more than a bit discouraged on the outside: chakra healing wasn't perfect. What the body could do on its own over time was best in many cases. But for ANBU, the immediate benefits outweighed the potential ramifications and increased burn-out rate. Shinobi like Hatake who were capable of staying in ANBU for ten years were stupidly rare. It was mostly a short 3-5 years or irregular assignment instead of a career.

The taijutsu assessment he'd received had looked to be a little outdated anyways—she'd clearly been working on it since that evaluation. It was standard to give a full ability assessment after they were done. It wouldn't matter much to Ibiki (who would never get to see the full compiled records after she left his care), but Tsunade would know exactly what her new resource was.

Regardless of what that test showed, Uzumaki's genjutsu abilities were definitely unacceptable for ANBU. They'd have to work on that as well.

While he closed up his office for the night, Ibiki made a note to check and see what identity the Hokage had chosen for the Uzumaki girl. She'd bemoaned that it was unfortunate Hound was unavailable, but her sick sense of humor would no doubt pull through with something painfully apt. Then he pulled on his coat and headed for the door.

It was the end of his shift and he had to get to his own bed soon, after all.

 

After a while, a body just stopped noticing the buzz of low-level pain.

Factually, Aiko knew that she had to have been in training for considerably less than 3.5 weeks. That was the projected ending time they had given her to pass around as the length of her supposed mission, after all.

ANBU wouldn't risk people looking into what had happened to her by making her late. Late returns from missions were a nervous affair—every so often, she spotted a team or girlfriend or just a concerned comrade hanging around the notice board to see if a late arrival had been updated. It was a rather nice service. It didn't share anything crucial, of course, but if there was any news at all, people wouldn't be left to wonder if their loved one was dead in a ditch somewhere.

'But it feels like I've been here for an eternity…'

At least they were done jerking her around, making her sleep and eating schedules erratic to ensure that she knew how to take orders like a good dog.

She didn't even blink at physical training anymore. –Not that she was somehow up to snuff, of course. No, it was more that the variations on Konoha standard that she had beat into her flesh felt as natural as her old katas did. So did broken bones and the massive, melon sized bruises scored into her flesh every day. There was no point in getting a little upset about a bit of pain. Before this experience, she would not have been capable of standing so stoically to wait her turn for the medic, fingers laced lightly behind her back. At least, not with the throbbing on her left shoulder from where Gai had come down with a high kick that sent her to the floor. It wasn't like Kakashi had trained her with kid gloves, but he had never been that brutal either.

"Recruit 279. Come with me." Aiko flicked her eyes over to look at the person she'd thought to be just an observer for the day. It wouldn't be the first time that someone had silently sat by to watch training.

Just like everyone else in this place, they wore loose black clothing and a mask. This one, however, had a design on it. Not a trainee, then. ANBU Turtle didn't make a comment one way or another, striding out of the room purposefully and leaving her to decide whether or not she should go with this stranger.

She went. Commenting would have been pointless. She wouldn't get an answer. These people had a serious grudge against intellectual curiosity. It wasn't like they were going to quash hers, but it would be easier to let them think they had than to go through more of that sadistic reprogramming.

She followed along a series of hallways she had never seen before. They seemed to be traveling down. The air became frigid, which made the sweat drying against her skin particularly unpleasant.

"Kai."

The polished hallways fled without a whisper, turning into a cement enclave. The person she'd been following was standing at attention, head cocked. "Acceptable."

Aiko wasn't certain, but she thought that might be a woman. Either that, or a young man. They were relatively slight, and the voice was a bit androgynous.

She didn't accept or reject the compliment, just keeping her expression bored under her mask. No one would know, but Aiko found that schooling her features helped her match her posture to what she wanted to convey.

"I was informed that your abilities are very low."

That was a request for clarification.

"I have some talent in dispelling genjutsu. I have never attempted to learn an illusion."

Actually dispelling most genjutsu wasn't difficult. The hard part was knowing when one was affecting you. Being observant helped with that… as did relying on senses other than sight. She was never going to be a ninken, but she'd realized that she no longer smelled floor polish when she had been walking earlier. Most illusions relied on fooling sight.

"So I see." The person in front of her seemed to waver, then melted into a pillar of lilac colored petals that collapsed out in all directions.

Aiko wordlessly turned her head to the left, following the shinobi she could sense but not see. They were good—completely silent, signature obscured to a point that she doubted anyone but Karin could pick out, and moving fast—but they still smelled faintly like the compound upstairs and not like this stuffy, dry chamber.

"You seem aware of a fundamental truth of genjutsu. The senses cannot be fooled… unless the caster possesses senses comparable to their victim."

She froze, back stiff. Eyes wide, Aiko worked to keep her neck as still as possible.

Her new friend had an ANBU short sword held to it, after all… and they must have taken off their mask, because she felt hot breath on her ear, and a hand caressing her left hip, fingers digging in painfully to the clothed skin. She grimaced, muscles taut with tension.

"Don't think you're better than anyone here, rookie," the genjutsu user whispered into her ear, leaning their chest into her back in a bizarre parody of a hug. She was pretty sure it was a man, now. Either that or a woman with a tightly bound chest, because there was nothing soft about the figure pressed against her scapulae.

It was getting a little bit creepy at that point.

'If this freak licks me, I'm going to get out of here so fast they won't believe it.'

Luckily, the blade withdrew, and the body pressed against her back moved away. She didn't turn her head, but the 'scent' she'd been using to track had suddenly disappeared and she appeared to be alone. Aiko had the unnerving realization that she couldn't assume she was alone in headquarters now after this.

"In order to create a perfect illusion, you must be intimately familiar with your subject matter. Genjutsu difficulty goes up in class for two reasons: the layers an illusion possesses, and the number of senses involved."

She was actually paying attention at this point, and not just because the omnipresent voice was unnerving. Her education hadn't gone into much depth with genjutsu. The Academy had taught her how to dispel them, and Kakashi had taught her how to spot them by using them on her. But he couldn't do anything like this. His genjutsu all tapped into what a mind either wanted or most feared to see and let the victim do the work for him.

"I will not concern myself with teaching you genjutsu. That is your concern, and should be undertaken in your personal development time. But I have been tasked to ensure that you can detect genjutsu. How would you go about trying to locate me now, in this specific room? List all possibilities."

"Irregularities," Aiko offered immediately. "Shadows or object placement that does not reflect the original configuration of the room. Scent, hearing, sound, vision, Chaka sensing…" She trailed off.

"And taste." The addition sounded a bit amused. "Your sense of smell is connected to your sense of taste, but very few genjutsu users are thorough enough to account for the possibility that a scent user will have the creativity to try to taste the air. And, of course, the sense of touch cannot be fooled with genjutsu alone, but a genjutsu user can make use of solid clones and henge to take care of those discrepancies, as well as create a tailored illusion that compensates for what the victim physically feels. Attempt to find me again."

She felt monumentally stupid, but she concentrated chakra to her olfactory glands to enhance her sense of smell and flicked her tongue out like a snake, breathing in to pass air over her taste buds.

'God, I hope I don't look like Orochimaru doing this…'

It was the most bizarre ninja skill she'd even been taught, a poor man's trick to substitute for a precisely suited jutsu for the situation. What was worse—it worked. She could 'smell' something, though she didn't know the exact origin. She tried again, breathing in more slowly and walking forward a bit. It was… it was like…

"Kai."

'Well, that is fantastically disturbing.' Aiko shifted uneasily. The first release she had done had been part of a multi-layered illusion.

The underground chamber of cement she'd 'discovered' was actually her own assigned sleeping room. She'd managed to taste the scent of her own laundry soap on the clothes she had worn in on the first day, neatly folded on the dresser at the head of the bed. Aiko was standing directly in front of her bed, and hadn't even noticed her toes digging into the thin rug. That implied there had been a distracting element to the genjutsu—it had been fooling not just her senses but her perception using her expectations. This person… was excellent.

The person reclining on her bed gave her a slow once-over from behind their mask. "That wasn't what you were supposed to do, but it was an acceptable job nonetheless." She registered that there were no creases on her bed indicating the weight of a human being before she realized that there was no one on it at all.

'Not the disembodied voice trick again…'

"I have my own duties to attend to, but I will be your tutor in future. Don't bother looking for me—I'll find you when I have time."

After a few minutes of stillness and silence, Aiko reluctantly sat down, pulse thumping and body in fight-or-flight mode. 'I have no way to tell if I'm observed or not.' She swallowed, hard.

Despite her exhaustion, getting to sleep that night was difficult. It was hard to rest when you didn't feel safe.

 

Not giving a single fuck about procedure at the moment, Kakashi blew by the gate and left his subordinates to check him in. That's what minions were for. He made a straight path across the village to Hokage tower. At one point an ANBU patrol route spotted him and jerked as if they wanted to intercept him. It was generally considered worrisome to see people sprinting from the village entrance to their center of power, so he didn't blame them for the impulse.

That didn't mean he was about to indulge them and stop for a chat. Most of them knew him by reputation. Hell, he'd participated in training no small number of them. If he wanted to go and get in a fist fight with the Hokage, no one was going to stop him.

Of course, that wasn't his intention. He actually had a time-sensitive report to make, one of the kind that even Kakashi wouldn't dare be late bringing in. It probably wouldn't be addressed for at least a day, but since his normal modus operandi was to wait anywhere from half a day to a week to report, well... His tardiness was a tribute to Obito and mockery of his own adolescent stuffiness, not an indulgence or excuse to endanger his fellow shinobi.

The thought of his fellow shinobi brought up guilty thoughts about his own various students. Naruto would be returning soon, of course. The other two would be delighted in their own ways. Sasuke put up a front, but it was easy to see that Naruto was his best friend. And Aiko was crazy for the kid. Kakashi almost sighed to try to push off the heaviness on his chest at the reminder of a topic he'd been recently circling, but refrained.

ANBU was no place for a teenager. He and Yamato had both been younger than Aiko when they enlisted, but it was too late to do anything about that.

'Of course, it's now too late for Aiko as well.' So there was no point in mulling it over. Still, it kept bothering him.

Really, it had been too late to dissuade her at the instant Tsunade recommended it to her. If there was a specific reason that his Hokage wanted his student, Kakashi had to give her up. He could back-talk and dig in his heels at times, but he could not outright fight the will of the village head. It would be treason. Tsunade wasn't a woman who did things without plan and cause. He had to trust that, and hope he'd eventually know what was going on,

Knowing that he had trained a young woman who was so talented that the highest authority in the country (the Daimyo was a useless idiot) sought out her skills was both a source of pride and sorrow. It was impossible to deny that his student had grown into an adult when she sought him out with such a serious expression. He'd really thought that she'd intended to tell him she was ending the apprenticeship, to be honest. It would have been a sensible decision, one that he'd been putting off for a while. Aiko was not an apprentice level shinobi by any stretch of the imagination. Despite showing absolutely no desire for command, she was qualified to lead her own team by now.

He had tried to tell himself that meant he had done his job. He had originally set out to ensure that his students could take care of themselves and planned to drop them like hot rocks as soon as that was possible. Kakashi had never seen himself toting around baby shinobi. The very idea that someone would trust him with them was ridiculous. Yet it had happened, and he was in the strange position of feeling a bit melancholy at the idea of his long-time subordinate leaving the team forever. Despite not having the sheer hitting power he expected from an equal like Gai, Aiko wasn't dead weight on a team anymore—she felt like a teammate. She was like a member of the pack with a specialized skill: it was okay and logical to steer her away from the most difficult targets in a head-on confrontation to be on the safe side because she could fulfill other roles.

Finding out that she had instead moved to redefine herself as a normal subordinate like Tenzou instead of an equal team head with Genin or Chuunin of her own was… a bit of a relief, frankly. He could do that—he could treat her like Tenzou. If she had thought he was smothering her Aiko would have left entirely, so it wasn't a painful move indicating he had failed yet again. This role would be a much more comfortable set of interactions. She had been straining at the way the apprenticeship fit her for a while, wiggling and pushing for more freedom.

He'd known something like this was coming when she made the decision to give the Kazekage a Hiraishin tag independent of his guidance. There had been a time when she didn't want to so much as choose a route home without his approval.

Her decision hadn't exactly been a wrong one (he saw the sense in it even though he disliked the concept) but it was irrefutable proof that their working relationship needed to be redefined.

That had been his overwhelming sense when she'd confronted him, which had made the casual way she continued to touch him and enter his personal space a bit baffling. Either she was a young kunoichi under his protection or she was an equal. Conceiving of a circumstance in which her behavioral patterns didn't adjust for that change in status was difficult. Perhaps the problem was with his perception and not her behavior. Was sitting immediately next to someone when there was plenty of space normal and acceptable between two coworkers?

Granted, he didn't care much about what convention said, but he had assumed that Aiko's habit of physical affection would fade in time. Perhaps it was just something that made her feel comfortable and safe; like her habit of deferring to him even when she could have come up with the same plan. Or it could be part of how she communicated. Naruto and Sakura had incorporated a lot of touching into their communication, even if it wasn't positive.

Possibly it was just something he had never learned and didn't quite understand. He'd missed out on no small number of lessons on human interaction in his youth.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you."

Kakashi blinked and turned to look at a very serious Shizune. "Why not?"

She cast a wary glance at the closed office door. "Well… Ah. Tsunade is in a bit of a temper. Sasuke's getting the brunt of it, but it would probably be in your best interest to wait a minute. Naruto thought it would be clever to send an entire cake along with the toad who was delivering their report."

He had a sinking feeling he knew where this was going.

"It ate the entire thing, of course," she said, clearly vexed. "And then proceeded to vomit all over Tsunade-sama's office when transporting here disturbed his stomach. Toads really aren't that bright, are they?"

"Not particularly."

It was the truth. He was torn between amusement and pity. In no way did he consider opening that office and getting drafted to help. Speaking of which…

"Am I correct in assuming Sasuke is cleaning it up?"

Shizune did a rather poor job of hiding her smirk. "Yupp." She leaned over, as if confiding a great secret. "It's rainbow colored. That carpet is never going to be the same, but Tsunade hasn't given up yet. Since Naruto is unavailable, I think she's punishing Sasuke by association."

The 'and you are more responsible for his behavior than Sasuke would be, seeing as how Naruto was your student' didn't need to be said.

"I see."

He sat down on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, painfully aware that it was too short and his knees were almost up to his chest. (It was intended to be an indignity that would keep long lines from accumulating. And to think that Tsunade thought he was passive-aggressive).

That report could wait a few minutes. How long could Tsunade really watch a grumpy teen scrub at what had been white fibers in a previous life before she admitted defeat and sent Jiraiya a bill for a new carpet?


	56. Chapter 56

'I'm seeing two possibilities. Either this is another test to see if I unquestioningly follow orders, or it's a sign that Kakashi is going to mercilessly mock me for the rest of my life and Konoha supports his decision.'

Either way, pouting was the wrong response, so she sullenly took the proffered mask and gave a polite bow to the bulky man who'd brought her to the armory.

Granted, it was a bit abstract. But she was pretty sure that the animal depicted on her mask was a butterfly. It looked… it looked… it looked like the rear end of a pride parade had exploded all over it, smearing green, blues, and purple on the white porcelain. It was only missing glitter to be truly fabulous.

She had the sinking feeling that it hadn't just come out of storage, either. It would be incredibly dangerous to leave ANBU masks lying around. That thought and the fact that the vivid blue ink of the bones of the drawing matched her wig gave her the impression that it had been from Tsunade. It was probably her idea of a joke.

Aiko wasn't amused in the least. A butterfly? What the hell was that supposed to mean?

With her disappointing mask tucked under her arm she paced the rows, collecting ANBU gear in her own sizes. Most of it was standard stuff that she could get in bulk on her own, like the black shirt, pants, and bandages, but the lavender ceramic plate armor and distinctive hip pouches were only available from this armory. The gloves could probably be found elsewhere but she didn't know where, so she just got a few extras. She was going to be charged for all her equipment anyway, so she didn't have to feel guilty about getting more than she was meant to.

She had to be nearing the end of her training, although Aiko didn't actually know the date. Genjutsu-sensei had sought her out twice more with his unique blend of 'creeptastic' and 'informative' help. (She had figured out that it was safer to dispel multiple times in a row just in case he'd layered multiple levels of what just looked like a hallway or something). Taijutsu hadn't made her throw up from exertion in at least a week, and she had strong muscles corded along her arms and legs that hadn't been there before. The men who had been in front of her in training had finished, and she was now in the strange position of being the senior to three junior recruits, seeing them struggle as she had not so long ago. Her free time was now ten hours, which left her plenty of time to sleep after she was done studying regulations and being taught how she was expected to behave in various circumstances. All in all, she felt like a different person than she'd been when she entered.

'No. That's not right. I feel like a better version of me.'

At least, she felt better as a shinobi, if not a person. Despite knowing it was what she was supposed to feel (and hating doing what they wanted), being able to call herself ANBU made pride well up in her chest. They were the elite… well, sort of.

ANBU were like Konoha's secret services division. Not every member was extraordinarily strong: she knew that ANBU recruited plenty of Chuunin. Rank wasn't as relevant as a shinobi's skill in certain specialized areas. But still, there was a tinge of prestige associated with the ranking.

And hey, she wasn't perfect. Pride was a bit of a vice, but denying the tendency wouldn't have been any better.

Wearing the uniform for the first time felt good. She'd worked to be able to deserve it, even if it was a little lumpy and unflattering. For the first time, she had the girlish desire for a long mirror so that she could spin and twist and admire herself from multiple angles.

'Don't be ridiculous,' she chided herself, pulling her hair up and pinning it in a braid that circled her skull like a headband. (It was the only way to prevent it from slipping out from under the wig when she moved around a lot). She bit her lip in concentration as she worked the blue strands on over her head, securing it with a few hairpins. When loose, it fell in a cute asymmetrical bob around her jaw… but it did look really weird with her coloring, she felt. Her skin had warm pink undertones, so the cool blue was her opposite in a way. It didn't look bad, but it looked very strange. She hurriedly secured the mask and turned away from her little mirror, securing the straps of her short sword (her own blade was close enough to standard issue that they'd let her use it) and hip pouch as she walked out of her room.

Her arms burnt every time she moved them, but for once it wasn't muscle discomfort. The stop immediately before the armory had been a little office full of (what she thought was) bizarre equipment that turned out to belong to a tattooist. If they weren't bandaged, Aiko probably wouldn't have been able to keep her eyes off the Konoha swirls on her upper arms. She'd never thought of herself as a 'tattoo' person, but they were actually pretty cool… even if it was Konoha branding its ownership of her flesh.

She would be assigned to a temporary team today and led through procedures. ANBU specific hand-signs had been included in the endless rounds of copying from earlier to help prepare her to work with the captain who should be training her in team work. If it hadn't been taught before, working with a group would have been all but impossible. ANBU weren't meant to talk on the job, although she was willing to bet that experienced units bent that rule. No one had bothered to teach much about ANBU standard procedure, but that was probably because it was much like the regular units.

'No matter. I'm sure that my team will show me the ropes.'

It only took a few hours for her to curse her own naivety.

'Kakashi spoiled me,' she sighed, feeling the heat of her own breath wash over her cheeks where it was trapped by the porcelain. 'He's a much better team leader than Fish. He never just ran around and assumed I'd figure things out and catch up.'

At least she felt slightly better about her own ANBU designation after meeting the team. It could have been much worse than a silly butterfly. Someone somewhere in this town had a paintbrush and not enough healthy outlets for their sadism.

 

Sai would have hummed if he were capable of having the thought, swirling red ink around the mask that would belong to ANBU squid. Large cats and forest dwelling mammals were all well and good, but it was so strange that no one had thought to branch out to all the other varieties of animals for these masks. He had acquired a zoology text from the civilian library and learned all about sea animals, insects, and all sorts of fascinating things. For example, there were living creatures in the ocean that in fact resembled plants. Was that not most intriguing?

 

'I suppose I'll never know.' She cracked her neck and tried to focus on the drills they were running. Not a single one of her new comrades had uttered a word to her since she had reported. Aiko couldn't help but hope that this wasn't her permanent placement. Fish, Donkey, and Boar were ridiculous enough as a group on their own. (And she couldn't help but wonder where the glamour of ANBU was. Shouldn't there be 'Lions' and 'Bears' and 'Dragons' with fierce teeth and scary eyes? No, all she saw were huge noses, puffy cheeks, and ridiculous porcelain ears. She'd never admit it to his face, but apparently Yamato had gotten off lightly with his kitty mask.)

For a group of isolated loners, ANBU seemed to put a lot of stock in team drills. It made sense that they would need to be able to fight together in close quarters. She was seeing some frightfully powerful attacks from her current teammates. Being in the wrong place could end with taking a fatal hit from friendly fire.

That would be an enormous waste and a stupid way to die, so she paid attention and tried to pick up on the patterns they were showing her on bunshin for different tactical situations that would be dealt with as a group. They probably figured that everyone present was already capable of individual combat. ANBU didn't take protection missions except under bizarre circumstances—they were shock and awe troops. So they didn't have to do much in the way of pretending to protect a client or target. Those defensive types of formation were easier and safer because a team wasn't facing each other. They might all have their backs together or have one at the rear watching backs. But ANBU apparently didn't put much stock in that. If you missed an attack from the rear, no one was about to pick up your slack because they were concerned with their own targets. That danger was very real, but so was the possibility of getting hit with your teammate's attacks.

That first practice was not pretty. It might have been better if she had been familiar with everyone's repertoire. She took mental notes as the day passed, hoping that paying close attention would help her improve quickly.

Fish seemed to rely heavily on his short sword, wires, and fire ninjutsu. She could easily stay out of range of his blade, but the sharp wires were easy to miss and she didn't much fancy the idea of being burnt alive. She'd seen that happen before, and it was an ugly thing.

Boar, on the other hand, was a hulking mass of a man with hands the size of her forearm who favored brute force taijutsu interspersed with shurikenjutsu and minor misdirective genjutsu. She didn't mind fighting him—he couldn't possibly hit harder than Gai, and he wasn't as fast. She was pretty numb to having the stuffing beat out of her. Granted, he was fast enough to score hits on her, but never rapid enough that she was unable to block or mitigate the force of the blow. Plus, he didn't seem to be intentionally trying to hurt her to prove his superiority like the last member of the crew did.

Donkey was a much better genjutsu user than Boar. He apparently favored flashy illusions and terrifying explosions. The thought of what he would have done if that bunshin had been a real human had managed to make her turn a little green under her mask.

She kept her distance from him.

'and isn't that bizarre? Here I thought I was so numb to gore.'

There was really no purpose to what he did. If it had just been about killing a target, Donkey wouldn't utilize such flamboyant attacks. No, he was a showman. And probably a bit of a sadist. Aiko killed a lot of people, but she didn't enjoy it and she didn't intentionally cause more pain than necessary. Her ANBU teammates seemed not to share her compunctions, though Fish displayed a similarly minimalist sensibility in a fight.

'At least village patrols are easy. Even if I am stuck with this team, it's not going to be for weeks at a time outside the village.'

Sure, there were a lot of search patterns to memorize, but after that it was just a matter of moving around and paying attention to anything potentially hazardous or suspicious. In the four days that she had been running patrols, she'd only had to make her presence known once. That had been in order to break up a bar fight.

Bar fights were always sort of stupid and sad, as far as Aiko was concerned. But if it was between civilians or even Samurai, they weren't a big deal. After all, they usually weren't armed when they went to go get smashed, and even a trained Samurai wasn't likely to actually kill someone in a drunken fistfight. Ninja were different because they couldn't be disarmed. Aside from having been specifically trained in hand-to-hand unlike Samurai who were weapon masters, ninja always had chakra; and alcohol didn't make those abilities less dangerous. Sometimes they were actually worse. When inebriated, chakra-based attacks became erratic. Even an experienced user might cause significant bystander damage or fuck up entirely and lose control of the technique.

It had still been a bit annoying to have to grab two Chuunin who were significantly older and larger than she was and shake them like naughty kittens. Boar had helpfully taken it upon himself to relieve her of one of them when her group came back around, but the others didn't offer assistance and so she'd painstakingly dragged her nearly unconscious cargo across town to the temporary holding facilities. She very nearly snapped and killed her cargo when he drunkenly felt her up, but somehow maintained professionalism.

However dull and repetitive patrols seemed to be, at least they didn't take very long. She was left plenty of time for personal development in between morning workouts and night patrols, which meant training. After the restrictions of the last weeks, it was a fucking comfortable routine. It was broken when an enormous bear of a man with horrible scarring introduced himself as Morino Ibiki and collected her from the group training fields. Even if she hadn't recognized him by reputation as a big name in Interrogations, she would have known he wasn't ANBU from the simple fact that he didn't seem to begrudge every word. She didn't dare ask as she trotted to keep up with his larger strides, but he matter-of-factly informed her that he was taking her to perform her exit evaluations.

That was a bit of a surprise, despite the fact that she hadn't had a full evaluation done since she had become a Chuunin. Her stats were probably out of date before she'd come in to ANBU, so it was a logical move. But…

'Exit evaluations? I had no idea I was done.'

There was apparently no need to test taijutsu and strength—ANBU Turtle had already provided his evaluation.

Genjutsu testing was much like every time the creep came to find her: she just tried to identify when she was in an illusion, break it, and had to explain how she knew.

The stamina portion was actually just part of a quick medical check up to see how her childishly growing chakra core was changing. It shouldn't have been surprising, since she was a growing (hopefully growing, anyway) girl, but it had shot up a full point in capacity since her last official testing prior to signing up for ANBU.

Handseals were easy as always to test in—she identified her repertoire and ran through various nonsense combinations that the examiner gave her at top speed. Dexterity, a bit of reading, and fingers that were as speedy as the user's mind made it pretty simple to prop that rating up. It was one of the easiest categories to gain high proficiency in.

The last two categories were the only ones she was worried about. Her examiner seemed to notice her unease. "Don't worry." She looked directly at him, trying to judge if he was just being comforting or if he was actually saying she could use techniques that Tsunade had still classified for the general public. He gave her a wry smile. "We don't make physical records of your techniques. I will merely assess your level and record your new statistics."

Well… they did need accurate information. She bit her lower lip, but conceded with a nod. "May I fetch something from my room?"

He seemed a bit baffled by that, but rolled his eyes long sufferingly. "You have two minutes."

It didn't take anywhere near that long. Her room was empty enough that the one kunai she had brought with her (the last pre-made Hiraishin in her possession) was easy to grab and get out. Morino-san looked outright irritated when he saw that she'd wasted his time to get a single kunai, but didn't say anything.

"Speed or ninjutsu first?"

Hiraishin was sort of the middle ground between the two. It counted towards both skill sets, so she'd want to do it last out of whichever category was first.

"Ninjutsu."

'Okay then.'

She pulsed a quick check of her reserves out of unthinking habit, and then whipped through her water-based repertoire. Mist, bunshin, hard bullets, a wave that completely knocked over a wooden target, and then… "Sen Tsurara!"

Normally she didn't say the names of techniques, but this one deserved a bit of theatricality. She aimed it at the 'chest' to make a more accurate illustration of just how deep it could cut. It shredded her wooden target, flinging chips and splinters out ten feet, and she ended with her fingers poking out the back of the target.

She'd never killed anyone with this, but it would probably be pretty easy.

Morino-san didn't look particularly impressed while he brushed splinters off his coat, but then, this was ANBU. He'd probably seen similar techniques. Sen Tsurara wasn't unique for its destructive power. In fact, it was a little weaker than its lightning-based predecessor.

She wasn't hung up on that at all, though. Chidori could cut pretty literally anything, so being less efficient than Chidori wasn't a big black mark. It still possessed enough force to seriously fuck some shit up. Since she was show boating, Aiko tilted her head to the right as she extended her left arm and wound increasingly thin chakra chains around it in a high-speed shot that collided with the hard target and left a spiderweb of cracks and small impact crater.

That time, he really did curse. But that may have been because cement chunks were sharper than the wood. If she hadn't been wearing a mask she would have given an apologetic smile. Since her features were hidden and she really wasn't sorry in the least, Aiko grinned. This was actually pretty fun. She didn't know the last time she'd actually gotten to show off like this. Kakashi was the only other one who knew her full repertoire, and since he'd taught her most of it… well. This was just a new experience, that was all.

"Are you quite done throwing things at me?"

'Ooo, someone is crabby today.'

She was sorely tempted to fling her kunai at him to be a smartass, but somehow refrained and threw it straight up without looking, flashed to it, threw it again to the target, and then tugged again to catch the ring on the knife's end around her finger. Aiko turned to face Morino-san, twirling it idly around her finger and blandly stated, "Hiraishin."

He was doing a remarkable impression of a fish for just an instant. "No shit, kid." Ibiki slowly shook his head, eyes locked on her. "Well, not much point in doing a speed assessment now," he said wryly. "Instantaneous travel is a 5."

'That is correct, bitches.'

Aiko didn't say that, of course. But she thought it really loudly.

 

Being out in the village proper again was really weird. The crowds were everywhere, and it was so much louder than either night patrols or the ANBU facility. The feeling that she didn't quite fit in the way she had before was about literal: the quarter sleeves on the green tunic she'd worn in stretched and pulled at her shoulders and upper arms. She somewhat miserably noted that she'd have to go shopping again. The sleeves on her old clothes were just a little too tight now to allow full freedom of movement. As soon as she got to the house, she stripped out of her old outfit and changed into black stretchy shorts and a belly-baring purple tanktop for comfort. A quick survey of her closet revealed that some of her wardrobe was going to fit better than other parts.

She didn't exactly regret getting a bit more muscle mass, but it was an inconvenience when she liked to buy her clothes in the snuggest size instead of buying baggy fabrics and securing the ends with bandages like her boys did.

It was probably a good thing that she had replicas of this outfit, even if she normally slept in it. She was perfectly decent, at least. All the important bits were covered. She could wander around in shorts and a tanktop with her boots and gloves for a while until she had a chance to go shopping.

"Hey."

"Hi, Karin," she absently replied, turning her head to see the girl leaning against her doorway. "How's working with your temp team going?"

Karin rolled her eyes. "Things change when you leave the village for a few weeks," she pointed out dully, rubbing her fingernails compulsively against her hip bone. "The first and second stages are over. It was seriously bad."

"What?" Aiko furrowed her brow, genuinely confused. "What do you mean? You're definitely Chuunin level by now."

"That's what I meant," Karin explained, coming in to flop down on Aiko's bed like a starfish. "Since so many of our age group weren't allowed to go to the last foreign exams, we outnumbered the competition like eight to one. I don't think there was a single Konoha team that didn't make it past the first exam. The second got rid of a few rookie teams, but the final line-up pretty much entirely Konoha. It's not really fair to the younger group. Like, that Neji guy is combat-Jounin level already, so it's a pretty big farce to have him fighting against twelve year olds."

Aiko took a moment to visualize that, and had to start giggling helplessly. Karin was smiling like a Cheshire cat, but regally tilted her head up to avoid eye contact. "It was every bit as hilarious as you're probably imagining," she confided.

"I can't stop picturing his grumpy little face," Aiko wheezed, leaning over slightly. Ow. Laughing hurt.

Karin sat up suddenly and swiveled to face the window—and then shrieked and fell off the bed onto her ass with a thump.

To be fair, some of those ANBU masks were seriously creepy. Seeing one pressed up against the glass was a bit surprising. Aiko pushed the frame up and stuck her head out. "I need to report?" Karin seemed baffled at how casually she reacted, but did an admirable job of recovering from her earlier startle. "To the Hokage? Do I need to change?"

Karin snorted at that, but Aiko took the shaken head as indication that she didn't have to go in ANBU gear. She couldn't very well ask more directly with Karin right there.

As the ANBU left the property, Aiko got up on her toes to pull down a clean pair of open toed boots off the top shelf of her closet and ran a mental checklist. 'Should I grab my gear in case this is a mission assignment?'

Just to be safe, she strapped on a single pre-packed hip pouch and a kunai holster, shoving her marked knife in almost as an afterthought.

"Don't forget to come to the finals tomorrow," Karin called out from behind her while she pulled the door shut. Aiko stopped just long enough to yell a confirmation back in the door and then took off.

Shizune was notably absent from the office, but Sasuke managed to give her a semi-friendly nod when she walked up and directed her in. Tsunade looked up dully. Then she slowly raised an eyebrow and pinned Aiko with an unimpressed look. "My people wear these things called clothes," she drawled pointedly. "Perhaps you've heard of them?"

Unashamed, Aiko shrugged and closed the door behind her with a bang. When your abs were this good, who cared if they were showing?

"In any case, have a seat. I suppose that the first thing I should do is congratulate you for passing the basic training. I'll inform you when it's time for you to return for more specialized training"

She didn't particularly like the sound of that. "Specialized training?" she repeated in as normal a voice as possible.

Tsunade glanced up, mildly interested. "Silly girl. Of course there's specialized training; both role and gender specific. You'll need to pick at least one specialty eventually, like infiltration or heavy combat. And besides." She gave Aiko a rather saucy expression. "Unless I miss my guess, Hatake never got around to teaching you all about the feminine wiles he's so good with."

Point taken.

"I have definitely noticed his feminine wiles and am envious beyond words," she agreed dryly.

"In any case." The blonde woman pushed her chair back and leaned forward with her elbows on the table. "If you're ever going to sing for me, little bird, you're going to have to find your way into Root." Aiko cringed. Honestly, she was sort of hoping that she didn't succeed in that part of her mission. It would be one thing to note oddities in behaviors and such, and quite another to try to get Danzo's attention.

But she couldn't outright tell the Hokage no. At best, she could quietly sabotage her own efforts, but it would have to be subtle enough that she didn't even get reprimanded for incompetence.

Unaware of the ironically subversive thoughts that the girl she'd intended to sniff out traitors was having, Tsunade continued. "You will have to present yourself as a neutral party. From now on, our interactions will be limited to when you are on ANBU guard duty, and at a distance in public. With your connections to important figures like Hatake and Naruto, it's a coin toss as to whether Danzo will see an unrivaled opportunity or unnecessary risk. He does have his own forces, but you're going to have to be a more attractive option despite your unorthodox training."

'Unorthodox? Does she mean from Danzo's perspective?'

"In order to make this work, we will need to give several impressions about your possible worth as an ANBU recruit. Good job on your recent evaluation. I'm certain that Danzo still has eyes in the processing department and will pick up on promising potential recruits. When I keep Sai at a distance from anyone Danzo is interested in, he'll have to go looking for a new source of information." Tsunade cracked her neck, and wryly added, "And believe me, he'll be interested in reassessing Naruto after a two year absence with someone he considers dangerously liberal."

It took a moment to remember whether or not she was supposed to already know that Sai was one of Danzo's goons.

'She told me that last time,' Aiko reassured herself, thankful that her lack of reaction hadn't given anything away. The point was moot, of course, because Tsunade wasn't paying attention while she talked through the problem. However accidentally, Tsunade had brought up one point that resonated with Aiko. She didn't want Danzo messing around with Naruto. Who knew what he might try?

Ceasing to pay her full attention didn't make Tsunade stop talking. Aiko half-heartedly tuned in with one ear, wondering what kind of resources Danzo really had. He didn't have influence on the council anymore, but he did have a private militia and the respect of the general populace. What did he have for material resources? She had no idea, but it might be something to look into.

"I may put you in repeated close contact with Sai or other suspected Root agents to give Danzo a chance to recruit you, but you'll obviously still have to be close to your regular team for the potential information to seem worth the risk. Luckily," she paused to level Aiko with an unimpressed look, "Your childhood dislike of the Sandaime was such a source of distress to him that I can guarantee Danzo knew about it. We can give the impression that you think he and I by extension are too soft and that Konoha needs to toughen up. He'll lap that shit up. You're not going to convince him that you don't care about Naruto, but he might believe that you think you know what's best for him and are willing to go above his head to act in his interests. People are often tempted to believe others are like them."

'Is she implying that an elementary aged kid was responsible for the happiness of a full-grown man? Aiko had to resist the urge to snort and barely managed to keep her expression impassive. That was stupid. No, if the Sandaime had been miserable, it was his own sense of guilt or other sources of sorrow to blame. No one really cared that much about what a child thought. Children were notorious for their poor memory and misperceptions, after all.

Her 'talk' with Tsunade continued much in that fashion. Tsunade worked her way through various contingencies and gave advice and orders for whatever possible situations she could think of.

When Aiko trotted down the stairs, Sasuke poked his head into the office. "I didn't hear excited shrieking," he pointed out disinterestedly.

Tsunade's eyes widened innocently. "Oh, right. That's because I forgot to tell her we're expecting Naruto tomorrow."

If it were possible to activate the Sharingan by rolling one's eyes too hard, Sasuke might have gotten a nice photographic reference of the inside of his skull. 'Of course you did. Or… you're just pretending to have forgotten because you think it'll be amusing to see everyone surprised tomorrow.' He eyed her suspiciously, waiting for a clue as to whether this was another bizarrely circuitous plot of genuine absentmindedness. His mentor just held his gaze and sloowwwly let her mouth curl into a parody of a smile.

'The world will never know.' He sighed and pretended to dismiss her in boredom, sauntering out the door with an intentional bit of swagger. Tsunade always got twitchy when he appeared to find her dull.

Shizune had made him promise to keep Tsunade focused on her work while she was in Sand overseeing their medical program, and Sasuke would nobly follow through. The sacrifice of playing mind games that annoyed and kept her working angrily was a heavy burden to bear, but he felt himself capable of the task.

Besides, it kept him away from that blonde sand kunoichi who'd escorted Suna's genin teams to the exams. He was relatively certain that Sabaku no Temari looked at him with impure thoughts. It was a little uncomfortable. Sure, he'd had female admirers, but most of them weren't people he had to work with diplomatically. It was impossible to run away and ill-advised to kill her, so he was at a bit of a loss as to an appropriately measured reaction.

'At least she should be leaving after tomorrow's finals,' he reminded himself. He only had one more day of her inappropriate attempts to hold eye contact across the negotiation table. Just one.

 

This was a massive pain. For some reason, ff stripped all of my formatting like italics and made this entire document into one big paragraph with no spacing. Ugh, what a headache. Literally. Am going to lay down now.


	57. Chapter 57

"You need to pick a penname," Ino said authoritatively, spearing a grape from her fruit bowl onto a senbon and then delicately taking it with her teeth.

Aiko just shrugged. "I dunno. Just pick something."

Ino swallowed quickly and shook her head, waving one hand with fingers splayed out into a 'stop' position. "No, see, you should pick because it should fit the themes in what you write. Either that or be really distinctive. Something made-up or foreign. People lap that stuff up," she added with a shrug, blue eyes darting to Aiko's fruit.

She quickly pulled her bowl back, protecting her cherries. It wasn't her fault that Ino hadn't had the sense to get the best berry of all when they'd been at the counter. "Distinctive, huh?"

The whole thing sounded a bit pretentious to her. Aiko would rather pick something plain, or a pun or even something funny.

'Is there any name that really makes me laugh?'

She had to ponder that one. When it came, the answer was so perfect that she hurriedly brought her hand up to her mouth to cover the grin. "How about Luna moon?"

Ino frowned. "Lu-na?" she repeated uncertainly. Then she shook her head. "It's exotic, I'll give you that. Luna Moon it is. How do you write that, phonetically?"

Aiko confirmed that, and then took a moment to giggle hysterically in her head about naming herself Moon Moon. Then she was momentarily sad. No one would ever get the joke. She slumped, inadvertently leaving her fruit unguarded for a crucial moment. Just as Ino leaned forward (more interested in the challenge than the actual fruit) Aiko snapped back up to attention.

Ino yelped like a small dog and jumped back up, eyes wide. "What-" Then she trailed off, wondering why Aiko was getting up.

"I have to go check on something," she said quickly, gathering up her leftovers and busing them to the trash. Confused, Ino hustled to keep up and only pouted a little at having to get rid of her uneaten breakfast.

"Is something wrong?" She was already jogging to keep up as the overhead bell jangled on the door.

Aiko shook her head, easily springing up onto the rooftop and setting off at a fast lope towards the village gate, easily within sight about a block away. Ino pattered up half a breath behind her. "Not wrong, just unusual. I swear I feel Naruto's chakra signature."

"Weird," Ino commented, wrinkling her brow. "I haven't seen him in forever."

She'd lost her companion's attention by that point. Aiko's gaze locked onto two distinctive messy manes in the crowd, and she launched herself directly into her brother with an uncharacteristically playful grin.

He went down into the dirt with an 'Off!", rolling awkwardly and nearly moving to knee her in the gut before he made eye contact. Naruto blinked dumbly for a moment—and then grinned, grabbing his sister to push her up in a classic puppy-wrestle move. She slipped his grip and pinned his shoulder with one hand, so he knocked her supporting arm out from under her with his head and capitulated on her downward momentum to flip her over. Aiko landed on her back, mildly surprised.

"You are so embarrassing sometimes."

Both twins glanced over to see Ino's sandals and slowly looked up to see her mildly disapproving expression.

That is, disapproving until her eyes flickered over to where Naruto's shirt had ridden up to his ribs. She blinked, and then re-focused on his face… and turned a little pink.

'That's right Ino, he's adorable,' Aiko crowed. But she didn't actually want to embarrass her friend, so… "Hai, hai, laugh it up." She brushed dirt of her legs as she got up and turned to lend a hand to Naruto, but he was already back on his feet and bouncing on his heels.

"Why does no one so glad to see me?" Jiraiya pouted. It was bizarre to hear the whiny tone coming from a big bear of a man. Aiko felt a little guilty for completely ignoring him, until he continued, "Lucky Naruto, getting tackled to the ground by a pretty girl. Hey there cutie, how would you like to give me a hug?"

Ino looked like someone had slapped her with a fish.

Naruto was much more prepared to deal with that sort of statement. "Knock it off, you old pervert!" He scrunched his nose up at his mentor. "Ino is way too smart and pretty to fall for an old dude like you!"

Said Yamanaka stood a little taller than she had been a moment before.

"He's just teasing." Aiko leveled Jiraiya with an unimpressed stare. He had to be teasing. Ino was gorgeous and leggy, but she was still fifteen. There was no way even Jiraiya could justify that. How old was he again? No, he was just a troll winding Naruto up. 'And he still falls for it…' She sighed a little.

Ino probably knew Jiraiya was teasing too, but she wasn't the type of girl who let an opportunity slide by. "Still, Naruto is definitely right. Hey, I'll take you out to eat for defending me!" She gave him a pretty wink, holding one shoulder up and clasping her fingers in front of her.

Her adorable little brother blinked, and then grinned at her. "Hell yeah!" He companionably slung an arm over Ino's shoulder, ignoring her surprised 'yeep!'. "You're pretty awesome, Ino-chan! Come on, let's go have some breakfast ramen." Ino looked downright confused at that.

"Ramen… for breakfast?" she asked, sounding uncertain. Aiko suppressed a snicker. Jiraiya didn't bother—he gave a massively rude snort. Ino just shrugged. "Okay, I guess. But we can't take too long, I have to report for the tournament finals in three hours," she warned. Then she turned on the charm. "When I suggested we go eat, I was actually thinking about a victory meal to celebrate my Chuunin promotion."

Naruto just shrugged good-naturedly. "We can go get ramen then too! Are you coming, Aiko?"

She choked down a laugh when her friend shot her a warning look. "Ah, no, I'm good. I'll just—talk to him." She jerked a finger at Jiraiya. She subtly flashed, 'Play nice,' to Ino through handsigns. As Naruto practically dragged her off, Ino stuck her tongue out at Aiko before flouncing away.

"He has no idea what she wants, does he," Jiraiya mused lowly.

Aiko shook her head. "Nope. Not a clue."

"Hmm. I see I missed Naruto," Kakashi commented, walking up with his hands in his pockets.

"You could always catch up to him at Ichiraku," she suggested wryly, angling her body to face the newcomer. If her attention hadn't been entirely on Kakashi, she might have seen Jiraiya raise an eyebrow consideringly.

Kakashi just shrugged. "I'm sure I'll see him soon." Then he nodded at Jiraiya. "Jiraiya-sama."

He put his hands on his hips and laughed theatrically, tossing his head back. "Well, if it isn't my greatest fan!" Kakashi twitched slightly, as if expecting a treat. This might have been a tradition or something, because he actually allowed it when Jiraiya leant over conspiratorially and pulled a sheaf of paper out of his hip pouch. "For you! The draft of my latest masterpiece! I've already sent the final version off to the publisher, but hopefully this will tide you over until you see it in its final glorious form!"

She bit down hard on her lip to keep from grinning at how fucking adorable it was when Kakashi delicately took the proffered papers- and then immediately crushed them to his chest. "Hai. I'm sure it will exceed all expectations."

That was about when Jiraiya seemed to remember she was there. "Ah, nothing to see here," he laughed sheepishly, shooing her away. She rolled her eyes.

"What's that supposed to do," she deadpanned. "I know what you're talking about. I've read all your books."

Jiraiya momentarily startled, and then re-evaluated her with an exaggerated up-and-down motion before giving a thumbs-up. "Oh, I see. I see that you've matured into a fine young woman, unlike that scoundrel of a brother of yours!"

"I have also noticed that Naruto isn't a fine young woman," Kakashi agreed blandly. Then he all but yelped when Jiraiya ripped the manuscript back out of his grip and gave him a scowl.

"Don't get smart with me, kid." He pulled the papers back out of reach for a long second, and then gave them back. "You know what I meant. He still seems like a kid. But you." Jiraiya gave one of his silly grins that she was 100% certain meant he was trying to provoke a reaction. "You're allll grown up." His lecherous giggle was totally wasted on his current audience. Aiko was hard to tease and Kakashi was already staring at his new book.

So she pointed that out.

"Naruto isn't here. Who are you trying to rile up? I don't really believe that you're perving on me." Almost as an afterthought, she added, "And if you were, it would just mean that you had excellent taste."

Jiraiya stared at her silently for a moment. "You're no fun, girlie. Now scram, I need to talk to Hatake-kun here."

Kakashi managed to make a mildly indignant sound from behind his book, but apparently the snub wasn't worth risking access to his materials.

'Gee, thanks for standing up for me,' she thought a bit mutinously, but Kakashi didn't seem to catch onto her dark thoughts as she stomped away. She didn't feel hungry anymore. Maybe she'd go rescue Sasuke from Temari or something.

"That was a little abrupt," Kakashi remarked lightly as soon as Aiko was out of hearing distance.

His companion nodded. "I didn't want to worry her, but I need to talk to you about Naruto."

'Well, that got his attention,' Jiraiya noted wryly. He wasn't sure if he should be impressed by Hatake's poorly hidden concern or irritated that he so easily lost focus on the glorious work of art in his hands.

"Is something wrong?"

'Let's go with impressed,' he decided generously. It was best to reward good behaviors in stunted people like the Hatake kid. 'Even if he hasn't noticed that cute little Aiko-chan only has eyes for him. How long has that been going on?' She hadn't been particularly subtle about directing her attention to Hatake as soon as he showed up, after all. Jiraiya didn't bother to hide the snicker that welled up as they crossed town to a more private location to talk, knowing that his companion would have absolutely no idea why he was amused anyway.

He hadn't been lying when he said that Aiko had grown up, even if she wasn't any taller than she'd been when he'd last seen her. 'That reminds me, Naruto did a damn good job aging that sexy jutsu of his. It's a dead ringer for her face, now that she's lost the baby cheeks.'

Naruto, on the other hand, still had a bit of a baby face, but he probably always would. He'd gotten Kushina's round bone structure, but Aiko's facial structure was a bit more sculpted and sharp like her dad's had been.

'Of course, Minato never had knockers,' he mused with a serious expression, hand on his chin. 'If he had, I might have enjoyed training the brat a bit more!'

That in combination with his earlier musing on Aiko-chan's badly hidden interest in Hatake brought him up short with a strange thought, and he gave the younger man who had taught his adorable goddaughter a suspicious gaze. Kakashi just looked confused.

'I'll have to consider this.'

He tabled the thought for later. "I need to warn you that Naruto still hasn't completely mastered using the Nine-Tails' chakra," he began seriously. "He hits a point where it overwhelms him, and he will indiscriminately attack anyone he sees. He doesn't even remember when it happens," he added, clearly frustrated. "He nearly killed me, so maybe that part is a blessing in disguise. He doesn't know. I didn't think he'd react well. It won't matter, as long as he's careful and doesn't overuse it. You understand?"

Wearily, Kakashi nodded. "I understand." A hand came up to scratch at his hair. "We should be able to control him," he added hopefully. "Between Tenzo's mastery of the Shodaime's bloodline and Aiko's chakra chains, all we'd need to do would be discover that there was fact behind that idiot myth about the Sharingan controlling tailed beasts to be better equipped to deal with him if anything goes wrong."

 

Obito sneezed.

 

"Is she really any good with those?" Jiraiya settled down on the ground, skeptically propping his elbows on folded knees. "It took Kushina years to master, and she had training, references, and constant practice on the Nine-Tails itself."

Kakashi shrugged noncommittally. "She's nowhere as good as her mother with them. I doubt she ever will be. Still, she's definitely competent."

Jiraiya nodded sagely. "That's nothing shameful. Kushina was…" he grimaced, lost for words.

"She was," Kakashi agreed solemnly.

Verbal language hadn't quite developed the vocabulary to properly describe that woman. As a combatant, she'd danced wildly along the line between 'pants-wettingly-scary' and 'what the hell just happened, are those really my limbs way over there in the bushes?'.

There was a peaceful silence for a moment, before Jiraiya probed again. "Other than the chakra chains, how is her training going?"

He should be interested in her welfare at least a little. He'd never wanted to take another student, but a twinge of guilt called for his attention whenever he remembered he had spent two years getting to know his godson and barely knew his goddaughter.

"I wouldn't know." Kakashi breathed in deeply, looking up at the sky. Jiraiya wasn't entirely sure if he looked contemplative or peaceful. "We haven't trained together in a while. I'm not her shishou anymore. Just her teamleader when she isn't doing ANBU work."

Jiraiya cringed.

"ANBU?" He shook his head. "Jeeze, whose stupid idea was that?"

"Tsunade's," Kakashi replied dryly. "Feel free to take it up with her."

"Maybe I will," he grumbled, knowing that he probably wouldn't. Tsunade-hime usually had a plan, and there were more time-sensitive issues than chewing her out about something that was already done. She'd probably bite back by telling him he'd lost the right to advocate for Aiko and Naruto when he left them behind all those years ago. After all, Tsunade hadn't shirked her duties when Shizune-chan was left alone in the world, despite having no actual legal or blood ties to the girl.

That train of thought was depressing and self-incriminating, so he left it behind. It wasn't too late to get a little involved to make up for some of his absences anyway. Besides, he was much better with adults than kids. Hence why he didn't write children's stories.

 

"Go Ino-chan! You're awesome!" Naruto cheered, leaning over the balcony in his enthusiasm. Ino's opponent looked severely put-out.

"You should probably cheer for both of them," Aiko suggested idly while the kunoichi below traded fierce blows.

"Okay," he agreed good-naturedly. "Yay Hinata!"

The underwhelming cheer didn't seem to assuage her mood. Sasuke rolled his eyes, crossing his arms stiffly across his chest. Temari tracked the way the motion pulled his chest tightly across his chest like she was about to pounce.

Karin had been completely right. The tournament had set time limits for matches this time around instead of whittling numbers down. It had probably been so that they could finally promote their back-logged genin. Every single one of the shinobi in their age group put up Chuunin-worthy performances. Naruto seemed completely oblivious of that what meant, but at least someone was kind enough to point it out.

"This makes you the only genin left," Sasuke taunted lowly.

Naruto stiffened, eyes wide. His brow furrowed, he slowly shook his head. "No, that can't be right." He started mumbling to himself and counting on his fingers, gradually looking more and more irritated until he slouched over in ultimate sadness.

Sasuke snickered.

He received a glare that implied Naruto had forgotten about him. "Don't be so smug, I could kick your ass anytime." Naruto viciously poked Sasuke in the chest. The Uchiha batted his hand away impassively.

Aiko knew it was a damn lie. He was enjoying every minute of this.

"I'd prove you wrong, but it'd be bullying for me to fight with a genin." He turned his face away, probably to hide a smirk.

She groaned. It was way too damn easy to rile Naruto up. Whatever Jiraiya had been training him in, it sure hadn't been emotional control. But Sasuke wasn't acting much better either. As much as she knew it was probably more those two in particular than their gender as a whole, sometimes she just felt like she really didn't understand boys.

Naruto glared helplessly at Sasuke's jawline for a moment, clearly struggling for a good rejoinder. He got assistance from the oddest source.

"I don't know," Temari sighed thoughtfully. "Wasn't he much stronger than you as a genin at the last Chuunin exam here, Sasuke-san?"

'Annnnd that's why you're never going to get laid. God, Temari, make up your mind. Do you want to fuck him or taunt him? You can't have both, not with his pride.'

Something twitched in Sasuke's jaw. "No," he forced out stiffly. He was wearing an expression that Aiko recognized as indicating that he was on the verge of snapping with an unusual display of anger after phenomenal provocation.

Naruto snickered, earlier resentment gone. "If you want to prove her wrong, you should come to the training ground with me," he wheedled, leaning obnoxiously into Sasuke's personal space.

At this point, it was obvious Sasuke had lost the battle. He had a knack for riling other people up, until he lost his temper. When he got crabby, he often agreed to things he wouldn't have normally.

"Where are we going?" Ino interjected none-too-subtly, leaning into the conversation with a nod to Aiko and a suspicious look to Temari. The older girl sneered in response.

The byplay was completely lost on both boys.

"To the training grounds," Sasuke bit out stiffly, getting to his feet and walking out. Naruto whooped, jogging to catch up. The three girls stayed sitting for just a moment. The blondes were eyeing each other like alley cats, and Aiko was wondering if it would come to blows.

"I'm going," Temari said challengingly.

Ino scoffed. "I'm not missing it either," she huffed back. She couldn't seem to help the sly little smile that escaped. "It's hot out. One of them might take his shirt off."

"Both of them might take their shirts off," Temari countered gravely. They exchanged a hard look before giving matching (creepy) smiles and taking off after the boys. Suddenly they seemed to be at some bizarre compromise that Aiko didn't understand. She shook her head at their backs for a moment, downright bewildered.

'Girls,' she thought helplessly. 'I don't understand girls either.'

Naruto and Sasuke proceeded to beat the ever-loving crap out of each other for what felt like a million years. Aiko startled at the sight of the Kage Bunshin No Jutsu—had Jiraiya taught him that? Sasuke countered with a bone-crunching punch that sent the real Naruto into the crowd of doubles with enough force to dispel them.

Ino and Temari were watching avidly. If they could, they probably would have started throwing around fire ninjutsu to heat up the clearing.

It wouldn't have worked anyways. Sasuke used fire jutsu all the time, and the heat never seemed to bother him enough to disrobe. Although her companions were bound to be disappointed, Aiko took the opportunity to curl into the grass for a cat nap when it became apparent that this 'I'm happy to see you but too manly to admit it' fight was going to go on for a while.

She awoke to Naruto's whining. "Aikoooo, you're supposed to pay attention. I beat the bastard."

"Like hell you did," Sasuke interjected sharply, despite looking pretty ruffled.

Naruto stuck his tongue out at his friend. "Don't you know it's rude to interrupt? Anyway, I'm hunnnngry."

That sounded suspiciously like her cue to interject. "No ramen." Her otouto looked piteously betrayed. "We can have that again tomorrow, but we should take Ino somewhere nicer for her victory dinner, shouldn't we?" she tried cajolingly.

"Ichiraku is nice," Naruto argued weakly.

Temari looked a bit confused by the vehement discussion of a restaurant. "Er, how about that place by Hokage tower with the really good steamed buns," she offered uncertainly. It was probably one of very few she knew.

"Works for me," Sasuke sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking away as if the conversation was done. Naruto heaved a sigh, but hurried to catch up and punch Sasuke's shoulder. That quickly devolved exactly the way Aiko thought it would.

The other girls looked a bit perplexed by the bickering and how easily they'd been left behind, but Aiko just shrugged and started walking. "I think you're both out of luck," she called lightly behind her. They quick-stepped to catch up, on one either side of her.

"Why's that," Ino asked suspiciously.

"I'm like, half-certain that they're going to end up banging. Look at them, they're totally only interested in each other."

Okay, so it was a dirty lie. She was pretty sure that they were both straight. But it was worth it to see her companions so obviously conflicted.

Of course, it only got better.

'They're not as far ahead as I thought,' she noted when both boys jolted and stepped apart as if burnt. Naruto turned to give her a sorrowful, betrayed expression. Sasuke was bright red and walking at double pace.

Aiko just waved, a dumb smile planted innocently on her features.

Apparently they weren't the only ones who had thought to go out to celebrate the matches. They had to take seats in the waiting room for a while, prompting Naruto to ask, "Hey, Temari. Don't you have to go back?"

She shrugged. "My pass is until the end of the day. I'm sure the Chuunin candidates and their instructors have left, but I don't need to go with the group." She blew air out of her mouth, fluttering her bangs. "I would have had to stop for dinner about now anyway. I'm not losing any more time by eating."

"Sasuke, party of four?"

He stood up quickly and strode off. Aiko and Naruto lingered at the back of the group. Her brother nudged her mischievously. "What do you bet that's the first time the words 'Sasuke' and 'party' have been put that close together before?"

"No bet," she shot back, nudging him back. 'Damn, he's like a furnace just like Kakashi,' she noted idly. 'Is that just a boy thing or something?'

Sasuke apparently hadn't heard them making fun of his 'nonstop party' attitude, because he didn't seem any grumpier when they sat down. There was an awkward silence when the waitress asked how many ways the check would be split—no one wanted to ask her to split it five ways, but most of them didn't make that much money either. Aiko, who had been making significantly more money than any of them for significantly longer (Chuunin pay was nothing to scoff at, most ninja were Chuunin) rolled her eyes. "I'll get it. We'll call it Naruto's welcome home dinner as well as celebration of Ino's promotion." She waved off the polite thanks, wishing they'd just hurry up already. "Order whatever you want."

Didn't matter to her. She'd gotten a massive check in reimbursement for her ANBU training. Sure, some had been gouged out for her gear, but Aiko wasn't exactly hurting for cash.

She did find herself leaning into her brother to leech his body heat. It was hot enough outside that her tiny shorts (teal today) and black tanktop were weather appropriate, but less so inside the air conditioned restaurant. She found Ino giving her a particularly smug, 'I told you so' look from behind Naruto's head when she started bouncing her leg under the table to generate some body heat.

"Why are you sticking your tongue out?" Temari wrinkled her nose. "That's gross."

"Nothing," Aiko muttered, turning her face away sullenly. Because of that, she missed the exact moment that Temari's half full teacup cracked. The other girl cursed under her breath and backed up to avoid getting hot liquid on her lap. She looked unsettled.

Aiko froze, breath still. This… this was familiar. She didn't remember why, but this was familiar. That was probably a bad sign.

"That's bad luck, isn't it," Ino asked, biting her lip.

Temari took a deep breath. "I… Well, supposedly, yes. I mean, I don't really believe in that stuff, but I do have a bad feeling about home." She frowned. "Maybe I should hurry back."

'Either I'm nervous over nothing, or that bad luck omen really does mean something. Either way, there's one fast way to check…'

"Don't bother," she interjected, face smoothed into pleasant detachment. "Why don't you guys wait here? Tsunade-sama has a really fast way to talk to the Kazekage. If something is wrong, I'll tell you when I get back."

'And send reinforcements his way a little faster than in the manga,' she noted. Aiko did her best to ignore what had happened the last time she'd intentionally interfered with the timing of a ninja battle. This was different. If she was right, there was no way they could get to Suna in time to stop Gaara from being kidnapped anyways. She'd given up on ways to figure that out, even though the thought was terrible. Deidara was going to do a lot of damage to Suna. Maybe he already had. Still, she couldn't seem to be too genuinely worried about Temari's superstitious bad feeling without looking like she was overreacting. So she did her best to seem as if she was merely being polite and assuaging the older girl's bad feeling.

Sasuke gave her a decidedly confused look at the implication that she knew something about Tsunade that he didn't. Aiko avoided eye contact and stood, automatically brushing a hand over the equipment pouch around her waist and the stocked holster on her thigh. She had one seal with her at the moment, but another at her house that she could easily travel to without alerting anyone. That should be fine.

"It's really not a big deal," Temari protested weakly. "I don't mean to cause trouble."

"Nonsense. It's no big deal." She gave the older girl a pacifying smile. "Here." She handed Naruto her wallet. "Take care of the bill if it gets back before I do. I'll hurry, though."

She left the restaurant at a normal pace so as not to make them think she'd been lying about putting little stock in Temari's suspicions, but then flickered at top speed (sans Hiraishin, anyway) across the city to Hokage tower.

"Is something wrong?" Tsunade gave her an odd look. "I thought you weren't going to be visiting me anymore," she drawled out testily.

Aiko shrugged. "Temari-san had a bad feeling about Suna. I told her you had a way to quickly check."

"I do- oh, I see." Tsunade shrugged when Aiko indicated herself. "Sneaky. You think Gaara hasn't told her about Hiraishin?"

"Probably not," she answered honestly. "And I don't know how she'd know. I asked him to leave it in his office. Unless she normally roots through his drawers, it's probably been all but forgotten."

"Fine, fine. Drop these off while you're going, then? I was going to give them to Temari, but this'll be faster."

"Kay." Aiko folded and tucked the sheaf of papers into her hip pouch. "I'll be right back." Then for the first time, she sought out, gripped, and violently tugged on the seal attached to the kunai she had given to Gaara.

She wound up landing hard on her knees on top of a building she didn't recognize, feeling distinctly dizzy and a bit sick. "Ooh, that's a head trip," she muttered, not quite cognizant to what was wrong with the scenario she found herself in. Namely, that it was not an office of any sort.

"Aiko?"

She looked up, up, and up into Gaara's confused expression. "How-" He closed his eyes. "I see. Did I accidentally set off the seal?", he rumbled quietly, moving his left arm slightly.

"Hey, don't you dare ignore me, scum!" a voice called distantly. Oddly enough, it was coming from above.

If she'd been in a totally rational state of mind, her reaction might have been more dignified. "That is one ugly fucking bird," Aiko marveled under her breath. Gaara wasn't paying attention—he was directing a wave of sand to deflect a falling projectile.

'This is not exactly what I intended,' she decided when the resulting explosion nearly sent her to the ground she had barely struggled up from. 'On the bright side, I made it in one piece. Slightly less good… I don't think I can make the really long trip home, and I may have miscalculated about arriving after the worst of it was over.' Screams floated up from below, and she quirked her head to thoughtfully amend, 'Slightly. I definitely miscalculated slightly.'

At least her head was quickly clearly as she took deep controlled breaths. She was going to be okay. Really, that hadn't been such a bad trip. It would be smart to wait a few hours before making another cross-continental trip (and Minato hadn't mentioned any side effects like that, had he just been better with it than she was, or was something sloppy in her seal work?) but she was easily capable of using Hiraishin short distance.

'Now would be an excellent time for a plan.'

"I could easily defeat him if only he were in reach of my sand," Gaara muttered as if thinking aloud. Aiko blinked.

"Ask and ye shall receive," she mumbled.

"What?"

"Oh nothing," she said mildly. "Just a moment."

 

"Where did that girl come from?" Deidara squinted, almost entirely certain that a half-naked girl was suddenly standing by the jinchuuriki when an explosion made an opening in the protective sand shield he was currently beginning to fill with his own explosives.

He nearly rolled his eyes when a poorly thrown kunai zipped just past the side of his bird, leaning over slightly to catch it. He gave the weapon a dismissive look—and then felt outright affront at the shitty tag attached to it. "You're seriously trying to use explosives on me?" he called down, sneering even though they couldn't see it. Honestly. Of course he could stop an explosive tag from going off. Not that it mattered. This one didn't seem to be readied at all. The idiot had thrown a dud at him. He raised it over his head, ready to toss it back down at the idiots-

And then blinked, completely stunned.

'There's a girl sitting on my lap,' he registered. 'This is not usual.'

One hand that had been chewing clay fell open in surprise. The explosives laced contents fell onto her bare thigh with a plop, sliding off her leg to land on his knee, where it actually could stick to his clothes.

Deidara vaguely registered vivid artistic colors—orange and teal, set in a pale face—before the girl gave a dizzy smile and reached up to curl her fingers sweetly under the collar of his shirt. He flushed.

All that had taken about a second. Perhaps he could be forgiven for not reacting in time when she tightened her thighs around his hips, pressed her chest to his front (by that point he was crimson), and abruptly leaned the fuck over the side of the bird, unbalancing them both and sending them hurtling through the air.

Suddenly the hormone influenced magic of the previous moment was over, and Deidara was pissed off.

It was the half-naked bitch who'd been by the Kazekage. He ripped her hand off of him in the same movement that he used his other hand to snake down and punch her harshly on the side of her torso where he could reach. With satisfaction, he felt at least one rib collapse inward. In shock, her grip loosened.

That was excellent, because there was a two-ton clay construct losing velocity without him to power it above them and a Kazekage waiting below with a cloud of sand. If either of those two things touched him, he would be dead.

With a little more viciousness than was strictly necessary, he let go of his grip on the bitch's wrist at the same time that he curled both legs up to kick her in the gut with enough force to separate the two, sending her more directly into the path of that sand and him further away. That wouldn't be enough of a distraction, of course.

His whole damn plan was ruined, and Sasori-no-Danna was going to call him an idiot. Deidara scowled, but he didn't deny for even an instant that this was beyond repair. He was no idiot. He knew his explosives and he knew the properties of sand—he hadn't managed to saturate it with nearly enough tiny explosives to use against the jinchuuriki. The bird falling towards him unfortunately didn't have the punch to do it either. However, if he activated every last bit of explosives he'd laced and activated, it might well disrupt the brat's control over his sand for just long enough that he could beat a hasty retreat and fall back to make another go at it.

The entire plan, from 'Oh shit I'm falling' to its conclusion took less than a second. He rather cruelly smirked and made a hand sign. "Katsu!"

The explosion that followed was beautiful. It rippled among the sand, superheating and turning tiny bits to glass that flung upward away from the epicenter hole just as the bird collided with the side of it, sending red flames out that licked at the Kazekage's stupid coat when he leapt up to catch the girl.

He might not have done that if he'd remembered the clay that had fallen onto his knee.

White hot pain burnt through his consciousness, but Deidara only really knew what had gone wrong when instead of landing in a graceful crouch, one leg completely gave out with a horrible crack. Numbly, he looked down, having a hard time understanding that the bits of bone barely holding his shin to his thigh were really what was left of his knee. Then he didn't know anything at all.

"Asshole," Baki grunted, watching the blonde hair flip prettily while the head it was attached to soared through the air in a graceful arc, falling over the side of the building and bouncing against a lower roof as it went. It took a half-second for the body to catch on, falling over gracelessly in a pile of partially scorched meat.

He irritably kicked the corpse. "This shit is going to take weeks to clean up." He looked up, attention drawn by the strange sounds coming from the roof Gaara had leapt to when he'd intercepted the redhead's fall.

"and what the hell is she doing here anyways," he grumbled. "You'd think I'd know about a Konoha nin wandering around Suna."

It really was bizarre. He hadn't seen her arrive at all. She must be stupidly fast.

She didn't look very fast at the moment. In fact, she looked positively ghastly and a bit indecent. But it wasn't really her fault. She was probably more concerned with the burning chunk of flesh missing from her upper thigh and hip than a wardrobe malfunction, and the blood leaking out of her mouth from what was probably a punctured lung. Gaara was quickly pulling the now molten metal that had been inside her holster and hip pouch away from her flesh, using sand to stop the burning. Baki had to wince a little. Sure, that'd put it out, but sand in wounds hurt like a bitch.

 

I have a little more written, but sorry. There's just too much for one chapter. :3


	58. Chapter 58

I know the time is going to be really complicated, so bear with me. I tried to make it as coherent as possible, but when showing so many different overlapping perspectives… well. This chapter was a nightmare to get finalized. A fair bit of it overlaps with last chapter, actually, and then there's a bit of a loss of time while Aiko is unconscious.

 

In her now blissfully-empty office, Tsunade finally let herself scratch her side. Somehow, she only ever seemed to feel an itch when it would compromise her dignity to scratch.

"Maybe I'm just allergic to work," she mused.

As the door opened again without so much as a knock, she rolled her eyes in irritation. This sort of riffraff was exactly why she needed Sasuke and Shizune around to act as bouncers. "Just come on in," she drawled ironically. It wasn't like she was going to have much time to herself anyway. Aiko probably wouldn't be gone more than five or ten minutes. That'd provide an excuse for her to toss out the idiot currently in her office.

Suddenly, she was metaphorically patting herself on the back for allowing the girl to Hiraishin to Suna. Unfortunately, even when her mind was in Suna, Tsunade's body was in her office being leered at by an irritating old pervert.

"My pleasure, hime." Jiraiya gave her a sleazy grin. He strode up to sit down in front of her desk, propping his feet up onto the wood.

'Barbarian,' Tsunade thought mutinously. 'That is mahogany.'

Never mind that she went through a desk a month. She was allowed to punch her own things.

"What do you want," she said instead. Giving him the reaction only made things worse. Granted, he was depressingly skilled at riling her up, but she didn't need to play into his hands.

The idiot leered at her. "Well, if you must know…"

"Please cut the crap," she sighed, rubbing at her migraine.

He straightened up a bit. Jiraiya was playful, but he usually didn't poke too much when she actually wasn't in the mood to handle it. "Can't I just stop by to say hello to the most beautiful woman in the world?"

Involuntarily, she huffed in amusement and had to roll her eyes to counteract the little smile tugging at her lips. "You're ridiculous, you know that?"

"Is that a no?" he asked innocently, blinking up at her.

'Ooh, that's a dirty trick,' she noted. 'I think he learned that expression from Naruto.'

But Naruto was much cuter. Speaking of whom… "Have you finally come to report? Don't think I've missed that you and Naruto passed the gates this morning." She gave him a faux-irritated glare.

"Well, I would have," he began awkwardly. One hand trailed up to scratch at the back of his neck. "But we got waylaid, you see." He grinned. "By some beautiful girls! I did my best to fight them off, but there were just too many, and they were too determined-" He trailed off sheepishly at the disbelieving look she was giving him. "Oh, alright," he grumped. Jiraiya crossed his arms, slouched, and pouted in a way that was most unbecoming for a full-grown man."Naruto ran into his sister and some blonde at the gate…" He gave her a mischievous grin. "The other little girl, Ino or something, invited him on a date. The brat misunderstood and dragged her off for ramen."

Tsunade giggled. "Somehow, that sounds exactly like Naruto." She pushed her lower lip out thoughtfully, worrying the inside between two teeth. "Ino, huh? You mean the Yamanaka girl?"

"I'd believe that," Jiraiya agreed easily. "She had that look about her." He shook his head like a wild dog. "In any case, I did have something more serious about Naruto. I already told Hatake because I ran into him about a minute after Naruto flounced off." He sucked in a deep breath as if considering how to phrase this delicately. But then again, he was Jiraiya, so he gave up on that and was just blunt instead. "I couldn't get him to master the Nine Tail's chakra. If he tries to use too much he loses control to the fox, and attacks anyone he can reach. He came very close to killing me."

Tsunade winced. "And how did he take that?"

Jiraiya gave an awkward laugh. "Well, you see…" At her stern look, he just bit the bullet. "He doesn't know. Naruto doesn't remember what happens when he loses control, and I didn't want him to know. You know how he is. I've told him that it's very dangerous and that he can't use it, but I'm not certain he's taking me seriously." He shrugged helplessly.

She groaned. 'Well, that sucks.' But that thought wasn't productive. So instead she just said, "We will just have to be careful, then. I assume that's why you told Hatake?"

"Yepp," Jiraiya nodded solemnly, wishing this awkward part of the conversation was over. And then he realized he had the power to do that. "By the way," he started seriously, stroking at his chin. "Just how long has Aiko had that crush on Hatake?"

Tsunade blinked, startled. "She told you that?"

'I didn't realize they were that close,' she marveled. 'Maybe I underestimated the pervert's abilities as a godfather after all.'

"Ah, no. But it was obvious to a guy like me!" He gave her a thumbs-up and a cheesy grin. Inwardly, his mind was working at top pace. Tsunade had all but confirmed it. Still… he should be certain, since he was thinking about using that information. "So how did you know? Saw the way she can't take her eyes off him?"

With a snort, Tsunade shook her head. She'd never noticed that, but then she never saw the two of them together outside of the professional setting of her office. "No…" She bravely resisted letting her lips curl into a smile by forcing them to still. They trembled anyways. "She came in here very seriously and told me she wanted to dissolve the apprenticeship because she had an 'inappropriate fondness' for him that was making it hard to work."

There was a moment of silence.

Then both Sannin started snickering. Jiraiya thumped a fist against his thigh, bent double from the force of laughing. "Oh Kami, I can just picture it."

Tsunade nodded solemnly, wheezing a bit. "And then she just broke down into tears, and it was so hard not to let her know I was laughing. Poor sweet thing." She sniffled, wiping a tear away.

"What a pair," Jiraiya snickered.

"It's apparently hard to be a socially awkward genius in love with another one," she agreed. "Still, it was adorable."

"It is, it is." Jiraiya looked contemplative for a moment.

It actually was pretty cute. The Hatake kid wasn't the worst person for his adorable little goddaughter to have a crush on. He had excellent literary tastes and class, had never been known to disrespect a girl, and Minato would have approved. He'd really liked Kakashi-kun even when he'd been just a wee grumpy little thing. (Emphasis on grumpy, even though he'd been equally tiny).

Jiraiya mulled over that last thought. "You know, the more I think about it, the more I like it," he mused. 'In a couple of years… It could work. And in the short term, encouraging the crush could keep her from finding trouble with the wrong sorts of boys.' He grimaced, as someone who had most definitely been one of the 'wrong sort' of boy. It was hypocritical, but there were worse things.

Aside from it having some worth as a real idea to shelve, it had an immediate application. More relevantly to the current conversation, Tsunade would hate the idea. She had strange hang-ups about age, to the point where she hadn't allowed herself to.

Tsunade blinked, then quirked her head. "What are you talking about, pervert?"

"They're cute together!" He sent his old teammate a gigantic grin and leapt up onto her desk. "Just think about it! I would be remiss in my duties as a godfather if I didn't provide Aiko-chan with assistance as well, now that Naruto is benefitting from years under my excellent tutelage!"

She stared blankly.

He was really on a roll now, though. "He even has the fatherly stamp of approval! Minato always liked the twerp."

"Oh god," Tsunade muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Oh, god."

"Just think, now that she's blossomed into a beautiful young woman, all the young men will be after her. How better to keep her away from all the wrong ones then to set her up with one I know will treat her right?"

"You're insane," Tsunade said flatly. "And anyways, I don't think she's the delicate flower you're picturing. Go away."

"But Tsunade-hiiime," he whined. "Just think of what beautiful children they would have."

She blanched. "They would have the weirdest hair in the Elemental Countries," she deadpanned. Her tone would have been sharper if she wasn't preoccupied with terrifying visions of Uzumakis sassing her en masse, never showing up on time and using Hiraishin to run ANBU patrols with minimum effort.

'Actually, that last part wouldn't be so bad', she mused. Her own personal army all equipped with the flying thunder god and chidori… Then she shook her head. 'No. That's crazy talk.'

"You never know, they could inherit his hair color and her hair texture," Jiraiya said doubtfully, clearly picturing the opposite. Then he shrugged. "Well, it's just a funny thought. I liked it."

Tsunade threw her stapler at him. "It's a bit of an age difference, don't you think?"

He shrugged, tossing the metal implement from hand to hand. "It's not so bad. What does a decade matter between two adults? After all, she must be an adult if you've put her in ANBU to ferret out traitors." He gave his old teammate a guileless smile. The last bit of amusement slid off her face, but Jiraiya kept pushing. "You would never be so inconsistent as to claim she was an adult one moment and child when it's convenient, would you?"

'So that's what this is about,' she groaned. "Who even told you she was ANBU?" Tsunade demanded crossly.

Jiraiya wiggled his fingers ominously into her face, forcing her to blink and jerk her face back. "I just know everything. Spooky, huh? But… I'm right, aren't I? That's why you put her in there." He shrugged. "You know, I might feel better about having a talented kid in need of guidance in ANBU if the reason is important enough and she has enough support…"

Tsunade twitched. He was fishing for information. That bastard. He'd used the lulling qualities of his general idiocy to force her into a rhetorical corner. Either her best chance at getting someone on the inside of Danzo's organization was a child and should be in a much less dangerous position, or she was an adult and it was none of Jiraiya's business what she did with her professional life… But also none of Tsunade's business if the cretin insisted on trying to pair them up. That wouldn't help the poor girl any- who wanted to be outright shot down?

'He can't possibly think I'll give this chance up,' she thought critically. 'Maybe it's a long-shot hope, or just a way to punish me for putting Minato's kid in such a dangerous situation by being irritating with my tentative blessing.'

Well. There was nothing for it. "You're right, of course," she drawled testily. "Aiko is an adult."

"Great," Jiraiya uttered through a fake smile, voice hinting at irritation. "Then you won't mind if I use my formidable abilities as the master of all things romantic to dramatically increase the likelihood of two of your favorite shinobi reproducing more people exactly like them."

"Not at all," she forced out through gritted teeth. "I'm so glad we had this conversation."

 

'Now would be an excellent time for a plan.'

"I could easily defeat him if he were in reach of my sand," Gaara muttered as if thinking aloud. Aiko blinked.

"Ask and ye shall receive," she mumbled.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," she said mildly. "Just a moment."

Gaara was right. He could smash Deidara like a pancake if he were in reach. Aiko was in the opposite position—Deidara would be a hard fight for her, but she could reach him if she were intelligent about it.

She didn't want to actually fight him. He was legitimately an S class shinobi and had been for years. She, on the other hand, had a solid skill set inflated by a few very impressive gimmicks. Hiraishin was a useful tool, but the fact that it gave her the capacity for perfect speed didn't mean she had the reaction time to reliably keep up with S class shinobi especially in such an unfavorable environment. Whenever she wasn't using it in combat, her speed was mid to high Jounin level. If Deidara had survived Akatsuki (and as a bomber no less) he must have very fast reflexes. Why risk it when Gaara was here and perfectly equipped to Sand coffin the living hell out of that asshat?

The plan that she formed was obvious and simple.

Step one: Get on bird.

Step Two: Get boy off bird, so Gaara can clean up his own damn house.

Step Three: Get very, very inebriated, so she didn't have to remember just how stupidly risky this short plan was.

That second part might be harder than it sounded. It would be stupid to assume she was physically stronger than Deidara without any supporting evidence. It could well be that she wouldn't be able to push him off. If she had momentum, or caught him off guard, it might be a different situation entirely. But without knowing exactly where she would end up in position relative to him, she couldn't well use Hiraishin at a sprint to gather momentum. She might end up soaring gracefully over the top of the bird or hell, even smacking into it face-first. It was tricky to orient around a kunai that was moving, especially at different elevations.

Still, Aiko was almost tempted to just throw a kunai up and flash to it immediately, but there were several possible fatal problems with that. One, her landings were terribly inconsistent. She could end up in the air next to the bird blinking stupidly like a roadrunner cartoon. If she was careful she could land safely, but that would ruin the element of surprise. The other unpleasant possibility would be that he'd explode the kunai immediately because he was an explosive happy lunatic and she would materialize in the middle of it. That would be an ignominious end.

'Well, I do have two kunai,' she reasoned. 'If I count Gaara's, anyway. I can toss one and see what he does. If he catches it I can go to it and be relatively certain that I'll at least land on the damn bird. If he doesn't, I can be somewhat certain it would be safe to try going to a moving kunai and risking giving up the element of surprise. It'd be better than nothing.'

For a few minutes she just tried to get a sense of timing—seeing where Gaara's shield of sand opened up and weakened when there were explosions, and what kind of targets Deidara was taking. She swallowed a bit nervously. "Hey, can you open up a hole above us for a minute?"

"Are you certain?" Even in his distracted state, he managed to sound dubious.

She didn't hold it against him. She was feeling pretty dubious herself and generally liked not having bombs fall on her head. "It should only take a second," she assured him in lieu of an answer just as he forced open a crack above them. "Oh, and one more thing. Be ready to catch."

He couldn't let Deidara get away, after all. She would try, but she probably couldn't hold onto him and prevent his escape once he realized what was going on.

Before he could ask her to clarify that not-entirely-reassuring statement, she'd flung the Hiraishin-tagged kunai in her hand. In a pin-straight arc of glittering metal, it zinged up, up, up, and slightly to the left of that stupid bird. At least, it was the left from her perspective. It was probably actually the right side.

It was a bit hard to tell from below. Deidara wasn't much of an artist.

"But he is a sucker," she muttered to herself, using a hand to shield her eyes from the sun when the chump above her caught the glittering metal and leaned over his stupid bird to shout something she couldn't entirely understand. "I'll be right back, dude."

Gaara blinked at the space next to his side where there had been a girl but was now only occupied by footprints in sand that he hadn't moved in a few minutes. "Dude?" he asked gingerly.

Her landing was a little jerky when her ass collided with sun-warmed clay and her legs stopped awkwardly a half foot above her hips. Disoriented, she grabbed onto the first thing she saw to stabilize herself. Of course, shirts weren't known for being particularly stable, but the boy attached to it seemed relatively sturdy.

'This is not entirely what I expected,' Aiko thought, blinking up at blue eyes that expressed about as much surprise as she felt. She was awkwardly sprawled on top of him, sitting in between his legs with hers propped over his thighs. Landing on someone's lap… well, it made some sense in the context of the tiny space she had to land on, and he'd been holding his hand above his head which had centered her over his body. This scenario had been one of the reasons she'd never gone to harass Yamato: it didn't seem like something she wanted anyone to remember her doing on accident.

It also entirely scuppered her tentative plan of unbalancing him with a good swift kick in the ass.

'But hey, it'll work.' She grinned at him, not caring that the expression was out of place. Then she latched onto a rather surprised (and surprisingly sun-burnt, he was pink all over his ears and cheeks) nuke-nin like a grabby baby koala and gracelessly threw all of her weight to one side.

Then he proceeded to pound the absolute crap out of her lightning-fast and she was blinking surprisedly up at the sky, winded and disoriented and her body wasn't responding she needed to reorient to land or she was going to hit it and break every bone in her fucking body and hell, this was a stupid way to die so far from home in the fucking desert-

A warm hand under her thighs and one under her back caught her attention about the same time that she detachedly noticed her right leg explode in a shower of fiery meat, splattering cinders and blood up into Gaara's face and chest.

Thankfully, she only stayed conscious for another few minutes.

 

"Oh, for the love of god," Tsunade snapped crabbily when the door to her office opened for the third time in so many minutes. "This is my office, not a playground."

"What happened with Suna?" Temari asked, standing side-by-side with Naruto and looked just about as worried and antsy at he did.

Tsunade had to take a moment to figure out what the hell she was babbling about.

Of course, Naruto had been silent for as long as he could handle when he was fidgety. "Why didn't Aiko come back," he demanded. "What happened?"

"Oh, right," Tsunade muttered, tucking a loose bit of hair behind her ear. "She never did come back, did she?" The girl had probably just gotten caught up talking to Gaara or hadn't been able to get in to see him immediately. It had been what, an hour? She frequently had longer waiting times. Everything was probably fine, although it was a bit unlike Aiko not to be punctual.

"Why don't you just check?" Sasuke prodded, looking irritated at having been dragged along on this silly crusade over what was probably nothing. "Aiko said you had a way to contact Suna quickly." He gave her a sullen expression that implied he wasn't pleased to have been out of the loop.

"Ah, yes," she said awkwardly. "I do."

Everyone waited.

"Are you going to use it?" the sand kunoichi asked with saccharine politeness.

Tsunade coughed. "I, ah. I don't have it here."

Temari's teeth were visibly gritted. "Where is it, pray tell?"

"In Suna," she admitted. As far as she knew, anyway. Maybe the girl had come back and forgotten to report? Because she was in a hurry or something?

The more she thought about it, the more Tsunade got the sneaking suspicion that something was actually wrong.

"What good does that do?" Naruto asked, sounding honestly baffled. "And what does that have to do with why Aiko never came back?" The Yamanaka girl made a muffled squeak sound that implied she had not been entirely on board with the plan to invade the Hokage's office en masse.

"It'll come back on its own," she admitted weakly. That story held together, right?

"You're not making any sense," Sasuke interjected sulkily. "Has senility finally caught up with you?"

"No," she snapped. "Look- just… Give me a moment to think." She furrowed her brow in consideration for a second. There was a way to check if Aiko was just messing around or if something had actually gone wrong. She didn't want to jump the gun and send off a rescue party if Aiko was just sitting in the Kazekage's office reading an old magazine. But she didn't have what she'd need to check.

"Get Hatake in here. Tell him it is time-sensitive."

The group looked at her stupidly. "I'm going to check on the situation, and I need something only he can do," she explained as if to idiots.

It wasn't fair to them at all, really. They had no reason to know about the Hiraishin, so they were hardly stupid for not making the connection. Once they'd filed out, she signaled the hidden ANBU to come out. "Bring me Hatake," she sighed. "Don't let him jerk you around. It's very serious."

The kids were almost certainly going to fail. Hatake was a sneaky bastard. But hey, it got them out from underfoot.

ANBU Ladybug (and Tsunade reminded herself to have a drink and a laugh about letting that sweet idiot repaint all the masks) brought him back in nine minutes. She knew, because she was glancing at the clock and half-expecting yet another interloper. Hatake didn't seem particularly impressed by being dragged to her office like a naughty child, but she spoke over him.

"I need you to activate the Hiraishin tag in your possession."

His one good eye widened, and he wordlessly pulled it out and complied. She held up a hand to silence him and just waited. An entire minute passed before she gave up hope.

"Well, fuck," she grumbled. "I suppose that does mean that something is wrong."

Aiko should have felt that immediately. The only reasons she wouldn't respond to an emergency signal were if she were already in a fight she couldn't leave or if she were physically incapable of sensing it and responding. Neither possibility bode well. At that point, the girl had been gone for nearly two hours.

"Hokage-sama?"

"Get your idiot team," she said in lieu of an answer. "You can have Naruto, Yamato, and Sasuke. You'll be escorting Sabaku no Temari back to Suna and investigating why Uzumaki Aiko is late to report."

She hadn't seen him move that fast in years, barring when he was hiding from that angry paperwork Chuunin.

 

'I should have known that idiot couldn't be trusted to do anything remotely important.' Sasori scowled, watching the position of the sun gradually move. He had waited hours after the explosions had stopped to give up on the moron. It had been over twenty-four hours since he'd reached their rendezvous point a few hours after that. Their agreed upon 30 hours time limit until one should assume the other was dead had gone by, and he was now certain that the inept hack he had been saddled with would not be returning. Sasori wasn't entirely sorry.

At this point, it might be wisest to retreat and gain reinforcements to try to retrieve his target later. But he hated waiting.

"Dying was probably the speediest thing that idiot ever did," he droned to no one.

He had to make a decision. Pein would be waiting for him to report in and request assistance with the extraction. Pein was cautious. He wouldn't risk showing his face via a projection until he knew Sasori was alone. He could call Pein and report the mission a failure, or try to acquire back up. Itachi and Kisame should be within a hundred miles- it hadn't been that long since he'd convinced them to donate their likeness to his puppets to serve as a delaying force if it was needed. But he didn't want to have to. Itachi would delay as he always did, eternally eager to put off the next mission. What a lazy boy he was.

He could easily infiltrate Suna to gain more information before he made a decision. He had set Deidara against the Kazekage for a reason: He would be a terrible opponent for Sasori in head-on combat. Sand could easily get inside the joints of his best puppets and make them all but useless. No, if he were to fight the Kazekage, it would have to be on grounds of his choosing and with preparation.

Sasori laboriously went through the process of oiling and re-loading his weaponry, killing time until departing to Suna would have him going through the gates at the busiest time of day when few people paid attention.

"Perhaps we were wrong to leap to force," Sasori mused, beginning the trek back to where he would re-enter Suna. Although it rankled and took a stupid amount of concentration, he used an advanced transformation technique to transform the wooden shell of Hiruko into a Suna Jounin he knew was missing from the village.

He'd killed him, after all.

Getting into Suna was piteously easy. Sasori had been using that spy for long enough that aping the fool's mannerisms was child's play. Making small talk was harder. "Did you see what happened?" His chakra construction leaned inward in the way his spy had been accustomed to.

The woman who had verified his identity (and clearly not particularly well at that) scoffed. "Are you kidding? I thought everyone saw. We hadn't even finished the evacuation when some Konoha kunoichi shows up out of nowhere and dragged that creep down. He didn't stand a chance after that."

"Konoha kunoichi?"

That was interesting. Was it one of the useless little medics that simpering, stupid Konoha had leant Suna? Back when he had lived in Suna they would have never stooped to accept such a denigrating 'aid'.

"Yeah," the simpleton agreed, completely oblivious to the fact that it had been a question.

Sasori rolled his eyes, knowing he wouldn't be getting anything more useful out of this interaction. He would check the hospital. It was a good bet that anyone who'd latched onto Deidara would have gotten a face-full of explosives. Surely a concerned citizen could find a little information about the girl who'd saved his hometown.

'I despise infiltration.' Behind his underwhelming guise, Sasori sneered at the idiotic masses clogging the otherwise efficient hospital entranceway. They were waiting to see their no-doubt equally witless friends and family. Deidara must have done something: He'd seen evidence of explosions like craters and dust around town. It was nothing on the scale of his usual destruction, though.

A pity. He could have at least had the decency to provide a better distraction for Sasori to work in.

He used a cloaking genjutsu to completely bypass the civilian secretary at the outer entrance. She would no doubt attempt to turn him away, and wouldn't have shinobi records in any case.

The desk that would have those records was where he remembered it being: cloaked under misdirective genjutsu and located in a room that appeared to just be another hospital room. At least the Suna nin were predictable. As he passed the doorway, he wordlessly set up a much more powerful misdirective illusion of his own.

If the staff had originally been a Chuunin (as had been policy back in the day), that medic had been pulled away to assist with emergency triage. There was no chance that the twitchy little thing behind the desk was anything more than a genin. Her hands were obviously soft, and she lacked muscle definition. Shameful. She blinked tiredly up at him when he entered, looking as if it was a struggle to raise her dusty colored lashes. "How can I help you, sir?"

"I wanted to ask about the Konoha kunoichi involved in the recent incident."

The weary smile she'd plastered on froze on her face. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't release that information. I'll have to ask you to leave now."

Sasori rolled his eyes and dropped his transformation at the exact instant the girl bolted towards the door, easily stopping her with wire around her ankles and pulling her back harshly to meet the floor face-first. She gave a high-pitched scream.

It was probably an attempt to summon more of her useless ilk, but it was a pointless gesture.

"Enough, girl. I do not have the patience for your babble. Were that girl or the Kazekage admitted to the hospital," he fished for information in a stern tone.

It would have been convenient to take the jinchuuriki from a bed if he were already injured and packaged up to go in bandages.

It only took a couple minutes to break the girl. She pathetically blubbered the answers to all his questions. The Kazekage had not reported any injuries, but he had carried a kunoichi in personally. Yes, she'd been treated for severe burns by personnel from her home village. No, she was no longer in the hospital. The Kazekage and his brother had removed her as soon as she was out of surgery the day before. Her orders had been not to share any information about the girl, from the Kazekage himself.

"Acceptable." Sasori dropped the girl to the floor, using Hiruko's tail to sever her spinal cord almost as an afterthought when she struggled to her knees in yet another pitiful attempt to escape and call for help. "Thank you for your assistance, nurse."

The Kazekage must regard this woman as an ally—understandable, if she really had come to his assistance against Deidara. He would be motivated to protect her from his many political enemies. She was probably under the protection of someone the jinchuuriki trusted…. That brother, perhaps. Yes, that was most logical. She would be hidden somewhere relatively close to where the Kazekage was operating so that he could respond quickly if something happened. But not just in some office building. No, she had been severely injured. She would be somewhere with beds, somewhere relatively isolated.

Unless Suna's layout had changed drastically, there was only one place that met all that criteria. The diplomatic suites. The majority of the civilians still hadn't been brought back from their evacuation hidey holes yet. Any important idiots who had been in the building would be gone now.

Sasori idly slipped into the skin of the girl he had left dead in the hospital with another illusion that hid him entirely while he puppeted her corpse. They would probably recognize the girl, and might even think she was carrying a message or medicine for a crucial instant when he made his presence known.

Assuming his information was correct, whoever this girl was had some sort of connection to the Kazekage. The fact that he had personally ensured her safety indicated that. Judging by the drugs prescribed on the clipboard he had found under the desk, she wouldn't be in any state to be offering objections about helping him get the Kazekage out of the city. All he would have to do would be grab the girl and make sure even an incompetent like Deidara would have been able to figure out he was the culprit and track him. Other than that, the Kazekage just had to know he was serious. It shouldn't be too difficult to make the point that not coming meant abandoning the girl to an unpleasant end. He would be unlikely to allow that without at least a cursory attempt at retrieval, if not for personal investment in her survival than because of his alliance with her village.

Fatally poisoning the brother (if he really was still babysitting so long after the girl had been released from the hospital) would be a nice touch. Sasori liked to kill the messenger.

 

Indeterminate time

'My lips feel like rubber.' Experimentally, Aiko curled her tongue just to see if she could move it. It felt so heavy that it was hard to believe she could. It gave her enough confidence to try something very important.

"Note to self. More plan next time," she managed thickly through the haze of adrenaline and healing chakra. "More better plan."

The medic nin who looked shockingly like Shizune didn't even spare her a chuckle. "Stop moving around, Aiko."

"Funny, you sound like Shizune too," she slurred drunkenly. Then… "Hey, you know my name."

As she frowned thoughtfully, a hand wreathed in green came up to her forehead.

The next thing Aiko knew, she was blinking gummily up at an unfamiliar ceiling. The feeling of strange bedcovers over her was disconcerting, so she immediately moved to fling them off and get up.

She was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. She looked at it for a long moment, not sure what it was doing there. It wasn't her hand, was it? No. It was big, and had stupid, rough-looking knuckles. She wrinkled her nose at it, not entirely pleased with having it in her personal space. So she licked it.

It quickly retreated.

"Hey now, don't be stupid." Kankuro grinned tiredly down at her. "I agreed to watch you because I didn't think you'd be doing much. You shouldn't be moving around. That medic pretty much reconstructed your leg and fixed up your rib and lung, but she said you're under bedrest orders for at least a week. And, ah…" He trailed off sheepishly. "And you're on a ton of drugs right now. I'm honestly not certain you can stand up. So, don't make my job hard. I'm beat already. I've gotten like three hours of sleep in the last 40 hours."

"Oh?" she asked tonelessly, still having a hard time remembering what was going on. She was starting to take inventory of her body. She was definitely under some wicked pain medication or sedation, judging by how odd she felt. Made sense from what he'd said.

Kankuro nodded. "Yeah, that asshole on the bird wasn't the only security breach. The other one scarpered off as soon as he went down, though." He gave a barking laugh. "Not much of a team player, I suppose. Gaara's off dealing with bullshit drama about all sorts of problems, but he didn't feel comfortable leaving you alone."

Aiko felt a little green, having remembered what she'd known last when he'd mentioned an asshole on a bird. A hand trailed uncertainly down her torso toward her leg. She'd remembered it exploding for no apparent reason, splattering blood all the way up into Gaara's face when he'd caught her fall. After that, things were a bit foggy.

'Man, I am going to have a wicked scar,' she thought. Granted, her memory was a bit fragmented, but she distinctly remembered looking down and seeing scorched bone. That probably meant nerve damage, didn't it? She'd have to wait until she could see the medic who'd fixed her up. Probably Shizune, if she was still in Suna. That hadn't been an injury most medics would tackle. They might have just pulled a sheet over her and moved on in triage. No, only someone who cared about her personally would have spared the effort to reconstruct her leg when there must have been plenty of other patients more likely to live out the day.

'I should get her the biggest fruit basket. No. A cookie bouquet.'

"Ah, Aiko? You still here?"

"Why am I not in the hospital," she asked distantly. That was where Shizune generally hung out. Her homies were there. Kankuro shrugged.

"Hell if I know. He wouldn't have won that fight nearly as easily if you hadn't been here, even if he won't spill what the hell it was you did to get the bastard within reach." He playfully raised an eyebrow. "Feel like shedding any light on that?"

'That doesn't make sense,' she registered, and wondered for the first time if she wasn't hallucinating. Shizune was highly unlikely to allow a sand nin to walk off with her patient. Not even if he had kitty ears.

She smiled weakly, feeling thick bandages over her lower half where her fingers touched under what felt like a dress or very short kimono. "Maybe later." Then she frowned. "What am I wearing?"

If Aiko craned her head, she could see splotches of lavender. Shapes were a bit hard right now, but she could definitely do colors, because something had happened that made them much more vivid than usual.

Kankuro shrugged. "One of Temari's old outfits," he explained idly. "I don't think she'll mind, given the circumstances. Your ah, shorts were…" He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well, they didn't fare well in the explosion."

'I think that means he saw my butt.'

Mortified, Aiko sunk down into the bed and pulled the sheets up over her face. Even if he was just part of a dream—and what a weird dream, why would she see Kankuro of all the people she knew—she didn't want him to see her butt.

"Kill me now," she groaned. She heard the door open and sharp movement from Kankuro—which stopped immediately. He heaved a sigh just as she managed to get her stupid, uncooperative fingers to pull the sheets back down and poked her head out to see a pretty girl in a medic's uniform bashfully creeping into the room.

"Ah, it's you, cute nurse-chan," Kankuro crooned playfully. Aiko rolled her eyes and sank back down into the covers. "Did we forget something, or are you just taking me up on the dinner offer?"

"Not exactly," came a gravelly and very male voice.

'That clinches it,' Aiko thought. 'This is a fever dream.'

The pretty woman who sounded like an asthmatic 90 year old man was quite enough of a hint that her perception was off. When she lunged forward to attack Kankuro with a needle, Aiko just shook her head. "What a cliché," she criticized. "I'm not even scared of needles."

Kankuro turned to give her an incredulous look as he fell to his knees. The medic swiveled to look at her. "Of course you aren't," she agreed in her man voice, stepping on Kankuro as she passed. "Get up, it's time to go."

"No!" Kankuro wheezed, clutching at the spot where he'd gotten his immunization like a big baby. But still, fair was fair.

"Don't you have to give him a bandaid?" Aiko peered over the side of the bed. Her legs weren't cooperating, so she just leaned over and was surprised to land on the ground with a thud.

"I already did," the man-nurse said. "Here, let me help you."

"'Kay."

Aiko shivered when the surprisingly strong nurse picked her up like a sack of flour. Her flesh was cold and uncomfortable to the touch, and she appeared to have one long bloodstain dripping down the back of her uniform. Dream-Kankuro had been right about how hard it was to move: her arms were dangling on the floor because the nurse wasn't very tall, and motor control was difficult. Hearing was hard, too. She might have been imagining that entirely, because she couldn't feel the nurse's chest move at all when she spoke.

It was funny that she hadn't realized that she was in a hospital. In retrospect, it had been stupid to think she was anywhere else. Sick people went to the doctor and she'd been to the doctor.

"That drug I just gave you is one of my own design," nurse said. "You have about three days to figure it out. You'll fail, of course. But in the meantime, give the Kazekage a message. He needs to meet me alone outside city limits after dark, if he wants her released."

Aiko snorted. "I don't think Gaara does drugs," she offered skeptically.

Plus, that was so totally not hospital policy about releasing patients.

 

Omake

Kankruo fidgeted, studiously looking anywhere but down. Gaara was stock still, but not any happier with the conversation. "You know," Kankuro started, "Lending her some of Temari's clothes seemed like a much better idea before I realized someone had to change her."

Gaara gave a thoughtful, considering 'mm' of agreement.

"I both really want to and want to run away as fast as I can," Kankuro admitted with open honesty. "You'd better do it."

The unconscious girl in the room didn't assert an opinion one way or another.

"No, I really think you are more suited for this task," Gaara instantly rejected.

"As your big brother—"

"As your Kazekage," Gaara countered firmly. Kankuro glared.

"Low blow, man," he muttered rebelliously, glancing uncertainly at the purple dress in his hands and doing his best not to think about it. "Ah…. Well."

He startled when the door opened and the floor nurse poked her head in. "Excuse me, but your friend has been cleared to leave under constant supervision, although I have some instructions to go over with you before discharge."

Kankuro gratefully leapt at her with a grin. She recoiled, but he didn't seem to notice or remember that he was still wearing his ghastly face paint and additional blood on his neck and jaw. "Nurse-chan! I have a mission for you, directly from the Kazekage. Right, Gaara?" he added pleadingly, hoping like hell his brother wouldn't humiliate him like this.

He liked naked girls. Really, he did. But he liked them to be conscious, and he liked them to not be likely to tear him a literal new asshole if they got offended about him seeing them in an indelicate state. Plus he'd feel like an enormous creep if he ogled someone barely recovering from surgery and drugged as all hell. If his hormones really had so few scruples, he didn't want to know.

Gaara looked between the two consideringly, clearly mulling it over. "Fine," he conceded.

His older brother outright sighed with relief. "Miss, our friend here won't be happy about being carried across town or waking up in a backless hospital gown. Could you change her?"

"Oh." She blinked. "That's all? That's no problem."

'and here I thought it was going to be something weird.'


	59. Chapter 59

"Kazekage-sama, there's been another attack!"

Gaara stood abruptly, indicating that his meeting with the Jounin commander was over. "What has happened?"

The brunette Chuunin in front of him looked downright terrified to be in his presence. "It- it's Kankuro-san." She ducked her head to avoid eye contact. "He was found outside of the diplomatic suites and taken to the hospital. He's not entirely coherent, but-"

With a whoosh, Gaara was striding down the hall. "What about the girl he was with," he demanded briskly.

"Ah, girl? There was no one else," she said uncertainly. Baki scowled at her, and she cringed away, hugging closer to the wall while she trotted behind her kage.

"I see." Gaara's face may as well have been carved from stone. "You there," he ordered to his guards. "Go to the third floor of the diplomatic suites and investigate. Don't disturb anything you find, but I want a full write-up." Then he turned back to the Chuunin. "Take me to my brother."

Shizune outright cursed when the door to the operation room was flung open with a bang, wiping a bit of sweat from her forehead with a wrist. "This is a delicate procedure," she protested, swiveling to see exactly who had disturbed her work.

She didn't appear intimidated in the slightest by the sight of the Kazekage himself.

"Get out of my operation room, now," she snapped, turning back to the wan form being held down by two nurses. "This is a nasty poison, and-"

"Wait," Kankuro gasped, eyes flickering open. "S'at you, Gaara?"

"I'm here," his younger brother replied softly. "What happened?"

Fevered as he was, it was hard to tell if the violent way the puppet user shook his head was purposeful or reflexive. "P-puppet master," he forced out, teeth chattering. "Tricked me with a dead nurse. Took Aiko. Wanted you to come after her."

The bowl Shizune was holding dropped in shock, shattering on the tiled floor. Her face was pale.

"Are you sure?" she asked quietly.

Kankuro nodded his head with visible effort, fighting shudders. "Didn't hurt her," he added, sounding strangely grumpy. "She was high enough that she saw a nurse and went along willingly."

The medic nin who had prescribed the drugs Aiko had been on looked nauseous.

"I'll take care of it," Gaara promised seriously. He laid a hand on Kankuro's shoulder. "Thank you, brother." Then he directed his gaze to Shizune. "Will he recover?"

"Er- yes," she forced out, swallowing hard. "Provided I get this poison extracted as soon as possible. I'm not as talented with this jutsu as Tsunade-sama is, so I really need to get to work."

"Of course," Gaara demurred, giving a long glance at his brother's pained expression.

"It hasn't had time to spread, so it shouldn't take me long," she soothed. "Just wait outside, okay?"

Nurses hurried by, giving awed and frightened glances at the section of hallway that their Kazekage and the Jounin commander were leaned up against, along with one frightened-looking Chuunin messenger.

Baki gave a heavy sigh that rustled the cloth hanging over half his face. "I don't like waiting like this," he rumbled softly. "We have to make an attempt to get that girl back. Our treaty agreement with Konoha-"

"I know that, and I will not leave her," Gaara interrupted quietly. "The doctor assured us that this operation will not take long. We should gather all the information possible before setting out on such a venture."

He gave the younger man a long, evaluative look. Then Baki snorted. "You've gone soft," he accused fondly. "You can just admit that you want to be sure your brother is alright."

In lieu of answer, Gaara turned his face away to signal the conversation was over. They waited in silence for another ten minutes before the door creaked open.

"You can come in now," the Konoha medic-nin called quietly, eyes tired and shoulders slumping. Her two assistants hurried out, but she lingered when Gaara strode into the room to examine his brother. "I wouldn't talk to him for long," she cautioned. "He'll need to get to sleep soon to fight off any lingering effects."

Considering the state he had been in only half an hour before, Kankuro looked surprisingly good. His hair was still plastered to his face with sweat and already smeared facial paint was a grey mess, but his vitals had improved and his eyes were more alert.

"I'm glad to see you so improved."

Kankuro rolled his eyes fondly and scrunched up his nose. "That's because you didn't see what they did. I think that hurt worse than the poison."

"Well, don't get poisoned again," Gaara pointed out sensibly. His brother made a mock surprised face, as if the idea had never occurred to him.

"What happened to Aiko? Have you figured out who took her?"

Baki and Gaara exchanged a look. "We were hoping you could help us with that," the older man explained with a visible frown. While they talked, Shizune was washing her hands vigorously at the small sink and occasionally glancing over warily.

The bedridden teen groaned. "No clue, sorry," he admitted honestly. "It was definitely a puppet user." Then he shuddered. "A creepy one. One who used a corpse. Do you remember that pretty nurse who we got to help us get Aiko settled in?"

Gaara winced.

"Yeah, that about sums it up," Kankuro agreed glumly. "Whoever it was, he was hidden well. Maybe it was a genjutsu, or maybe he was never in the room. I was stupid," he admitted. "I saw a familiar face and I let my guard down. He hit me once and had the girl jab me with a needle, and I was down for the count. Corpse-nurse slung Aiko over her shoulder, said something dramatic in a man's voice about you coming to rescue her personally, and trotted out the door."

Though her back was turned away from the group, Shizune's flinch was visible.

If he'd had eyebrows, they would have been drawn inwards. "She didn't resist?" Gaara's tone was a little incredulous. Aiko just didn't seem like the type to take that lying down.

"That's my fault," Shizune said miserably, turning to face the group. "After I did the major surgery, I knew we wouldn't be able to get to the follow-up appointment before she woke up. Not with how many injuries we had coming in. So I gave her a massive prescription of painkillers so at least she wasn't going to feel anything. If she's even awake, Aiko won't be in any state to do so much as make a bunshin."

"You couldn't have known," Kankuro muttered a little bitterly. "I fucked up just as much, probably more."

"As productive as this line of discussion is," Baki interrupted dryly, "Perhaps we should determine our next course of action. It seems that we don't have much choice. We have to send a team after the girl."

"He demanded me personally," Gaara pointed out mildly. "He may well kill her immediately if he sees anyone else."

"We can't send the Kazekage," Baki argued. "What will the people think?"

"Yes," a high voice agreed, "What will they think?"

Kankuro sunk down into his bedcovers, clearly not delighted about having the two honored siblings in his sickroom. Elder Chiyo didn't seem to care one whit for his comfort, clacking in and giving Shizune a nasty scowl. Her brother meekly followed at her heels.

"Why don't we just cut out the middleman and tie you up before we toss you over the wall," she snarked unpleasantly. "After all, we have such an excellent track record with losing Kazekage when they wander off to confront mysterious persons. Why not go for three in a row?"

The two Jounin Gaara had sent to investigate the room where the fight had happened appeared in a shunshin flicker, kneeling at his side. The room was getting rather crowded.

"The people will think," Gaara enunciated seriously, "That it is my responsibility as Kazekage to ensure the safety of my people and our alliances. They will know that Uzumaki Aiko is largely responsible for curtailing the destruction when we were invaded. Suna does not leave her allies to die alone."

Her lip curled, but Chiyo didn't have a reply for that. It was hard to make one that didn't claim Suna had no reason to fulfill the terms of treaties they made. That was obviously an unwise argument to make with foreign nin in the room. "Fine then, pup," she said finally, turning to leave. "Don't die so soon."

The two Jounin who had come to report exchanged looks. One managed to protest, "Surely you would have won without Konoha's assistance, Kazekage-sama," before ducking his head when Gaara looked directly at him. Firsthand reports had been vague, since very few nin had been close at that point. Most of them had been participating in the evacuation of the civilians and young trainees, or in hiding themselves under orders. Very few could hope to interfere in a fight with a shinobi who could tax the abilities of their Kage. But none of those vague reports had given too much credit to the girl. Some claimed that Gaara had finished the intruder with a sand coffin, other claimed it had been the Jounin commander who had beheaded the scum. The general consensus was that the girl had merely come up with a plan to get the intruder within reach of their Kazekage.

"No," Gaara said quietly. "I do not believe that I would have."

And that was that. If the Kazekage claimed this girl had saved Suna, they couldn't leave her without losing honor. Especially not when she had been taken from under their noses.

Without another word, Gaara set off for the village gates. With the exception of Kankuro and the Elders, the rest of the assembled shinobi trailed after him like ducklings. "Baki, can I leave the village in your hands for now?"

"Of course," his old teacher nodded.

"Thank you."

"There's a group incoming!" shouted one of the gate guards, hand over her eye. That wasn't strictly procedure, but to be fair everyone was a bit on edge.

With the way the last few days had been going, the assembled shinobi jumped to the conclusion that this was another assault. They tensed in the long seconds before the first face became visible- and then relaxed as one.

"That's Temari," Baki breathed with a faint smile. "Bout time, girl."

"Naruto," Gaara said unnecessarily. For once, he didn't seem pleased to see his friend. Actually… he looked a bit tense and ashamed while the group came to stop. Nonetheless, he gamely strode out to meet them, maroon fabric fluttering behind him in the wind. Naruto's attention instantly latched onto him.

"Gaara!" He practically threw himself at his fellow jinchuuriki. "We brought back Temari! Why do you have Aiko?"

"Strictly speaking, we don't," Shizune muttered glumly.

It hadn't been intended to draw attention, but nonetheless she had it. The entire group of newcomers seemed focused on her.

"What are you talking about," Naruto's old teacher demanded. Shizune looked a bit discomfited at being the sudden center of attention, so Gaara stepped forward with a hand raised.

"This is my fault," he admitted quietly. "She's been taken out of the village by the partner of the man who she helped me kill two days ago."

Oddly, that statement didn't seem to clear things up.

"What the hell are you talking about," the Uchiha who Temari seemed to find so interesting demanded crossly.

He realized for the first time that his hawk-carried messages to Konoha must have reached them after this group had departed. Well. That didn't make things any easier. "She appeared to help," he began delicately, (ignoring the way that the Uchiha muttered to Naruto 'appeared, there's that euphemism again, does everyone think we're stupid?'), "shortly after Suna was assaulted by Akatsuki. With her assistance, we managed to kill one of them after he had done quite a bit of damage. His partner ran away, and we thought he had left entirely. It appears that we were wrong. He must have hidden within Suna and managed to find where Aiko was convalescing."

At that point, Naruto interrupted in a suspiciously high tone, "Convalescing? Why was Aiko convalescing? Is she okay?"

"She'll be fine," Shizune assured quietly, rubbing at his back. "She's heavily sedated, but the reconstruction went as well as could be imagined."

That was where Kakashi and Sasuke seemed to blanch, though Naruto took the comfort for what it was and focused on something else. "Akatsuki, huh," he said quietly. "So… this was about you, then. They came to take you, and they're using Aiko as bait."

Gaara inclined his head. "An accurate assessment," he agreed quietly. "I was told to come alone. I am about to depart now. Please, wait for me here."

"Are you kidding?" Naruto demanded, aghast. "Why would you do what he says? You must be nuts if you think I'm not coming with you. That's my sister we're talking about. You wouldn't leave Temari behind, so don't tell me not to come with you for Aiko."

"This is my responsibility as Kazekage," he argued just as fervently. "She was under my protection, and-"

"She's a Konoha nin," Sasuke pointed out sharply. "You can't stop us from going after her. Give it up already. You're stuck with us. She's our responsibility too."

Baki rolled his eyes, clearly tired of all the drama. No one else seemed to share his sentiments.

 

'Perhaps it would be worth the risk of killing her to have some peace of mind,' Sasori thought rather uncharitably. The girl slung over the back of his most recent corpse puppet just wouldn't shut up for long. Where are we going, can I see Shizune, I feel sick can we slow down, blah, blah, blah.

He had been lucky in that she was so drugged that she honestly thought anything strange she perceived was the result of her state of mind and not an indication that she should be concerned. It had kept her mostly quiet while they passed through Suna and went directly over their pathetic walls.

Unfortunately, the drugs that had been pumped into his current companion by some kind soul who had cared more for pain relief than cognitive function also made it very dangerous for him to use one of his own sedatives on her to shut her up and put her out. He would end up killing her eventually in any case, but she was much more useful to him today alive than dead. He could always control the Kazekage's actions by threatening to kill his captive, but Sasori could hardly un-kill her if he turned out to need her alive later. His plan included having her as a mitigating factor and a shield of sorts between him and that damnable sand. That awful stuff got everywhere in his poor puppet joints. It was part of why he'd never come back to this hellhole.

Aiko sniffed unhappily. Nurse-chan hadn't readjusted her at all since flinging her over a shoulder what must have been at least an hour or two ago, and said shoulder was digging painfully into her gut, which seemed to make breathing even harder. Not even chakra healing could totally mitigate whatever had happened to her side in that fight against Deidara with just a single session. Her hip was stiff, and the skin felt stretched and painful around the joint and a little ways down her leg.

Even for a drug-induced hallucination, this was strange. It had gotten awfully dull, too. What kind of drug trip was dreaming about looking at sand pass under her forever? Her neck was starting to hurt from hanging down. This couldn't be proper medical procedure.

"I must be a really boring person," she mused. Nurse-chan made no response, mechanically running over dunes towards a destination she apparently didn't feel like sharing.

Something about the situation was really tugging for her attention, but it was hard to focus through the fog in her mind competing with the pain in her heavy limbs.

She frowned. That was it. Something about that last bit was important.

'Pain,' she realized. 'If I hurt, doesn't that mean the drugs are wearing off?'

Uncertainly, she raised her head from the sand passing underneath nurse-chan's feet and bent backwards a little bit to stare at the quickly receding skyline of Suna and the shimmering heat wave that had been following nurse-chan for quite a while.

She'd figured that part had to be a hallucination. She didn't smell a person there at all… though Nurse-chan was starting to get decidedly rank.

A chill fluttered up her spine.

'I think I know what that smell is,' she realized dully. 'That's meat starting to spoil.' Aiko swallowed a bit of bile, no small feat when hanging upside down and in constant jerky motion.

"Finally coming to, are you?"

That voice was definitely not coming from her friend the nurse. It never had been. That meant she was pressed up to a corpse. A quickly decaying corpse. A feeling like spiders crawled all over her skin, and she struggled frenetically to be released. Obligingly, nurse-chan stopped and heaved her onto the sand. She yelped at the impact. It was relatively soft to the touch, but it was burning hot and it hurt the uncovered flesh on her legs and arms. With a quiet whumph, the woman who had been carrying her collapsed like a puppet with cut strings… probably because that was exactly what she was.

"I had been growing weary of dragging that carcass around, but it seemed to soothe your idiotic whining. No need for that any longer. There is no one here to hear you."

The shimmer she now recognized as a sign of a genjutsu being impacted by glittering bits of sand in the sun disappeared. What it left was decidedly less ethereal. In fact, it was pretty damn sturdy looking. She'd never seen anything like it, but Aiko knew what it was.

'Sasori,' she realized, feeling sick. The thought that immediately followed was, 'Oh fuck, I've been kidnapped. I'm that girl. I'm 'Rescue me Daphne.'' She pictured it- and blanched, realizing that with her current outfit- "I even have red hair and a purple dress," she wailed. Goddamnit!

The bulky puppet seemed to stare. "You are impressively deranged," Sasori said after a long silence. "Luckily, your obvious deficiencies will seem much less apparent when you are under my power. You should be grateful."

Aiko blinked warily. He seemed to be waiting for her to ask. "Uh, why should I be grateful?" she asked awkwardly. 'Play along with the crazy person for now.'

The situation didn't look to be in her favor for an outright battle, after all. She was severely weakened from a major healing and over a day and a half of bedrest and no food (judging by the skyline), still not in her right mind after being drugged, and completely unarmed. Her best option was probably to play along and see what happened. After all, she was relatively certain that someone would be coming for her.

Even if she hadn't had faith that Tsunade had the sense to know something was wrong when she never returned, now that she could feel her chakra again Aiko could sense the distant siren song of her Hiraishin seals. They were scarily faint, though. She couldn't be more than two hours or so away from Gaara, but his tag felt as distant as it had when she'd been in Konoha. Using it would be incredibly difficult. Of course… it was also very close to her other two tags. Her team had come for her. With them so close and her chakra so hard to access, it may just be most intelligent to wait for them to show up and not risk a dangerous Hiraishin.

Best not to tell the lunatic that, though.

"You will receive the honor of becoming one of my tools when the Kazekage comes to fight, of course," said nutjob replied blandly.

Aiko blanched. That was fucking creepy.

"You mean… like her?" She sort of flinched/ gestured in the direction of the medic nin corpse, doing her best to prop herself up on the sand so she felt less like a broken doll splayed on the ground.

'Okay, now would be a great time for someone to show up to rescue poor limp-legged Daphne. I didn't realize they were this slow.' She paused, and internally corrected, 'Poor beautiful, limp-legged Daphne who can't be blamed for this at all.'

Sasori scoffed, curling a wooden tail through searing hot sand in agitation. "Hardly. No, that corpse had not been prepared so that I could use it for anything but basic movement. If you aren't too damaged in the fight, I will use a special technique I have developed to ensure I can make use of your chakra enhanced abilities. If you killed Deidara, you may not be completely worthless. The Kazekage will be a better trophy, but I can always add to my collection as a thank you for ridding me of that incompetent fool."

She recoiled, strangely indignant about being an afterthought to Gaara. "I'm not a consolation prize," she protested crossly, managing a more dignified position that was at least sitting up with her knees splayed. "I would be a fucking awesome puppet!"

Then she thought about what she was arguing.

'Maybe that's not the best position to take. In fact, fuck waiting for the boys to get here and save me. This guy is dangerously crazy.'

"Anyway, I have a better idea. How about we don't do that?" she asked awkwardly. Aiko hated backtracking rhetorically, but the last argument just hadn't been a winner.

Sasori just gave her a look like she was an idiot.

She waved her hands and gave him an apologetic smile. "Not that it isn't every girl's dream to become a puppet slave, but this is all just happening so fast. I'm going to have to back out."

Instead of verbally replying, he moved to backhand her with his wooden tail. Reflexively, she deflected it with a chakra chain that sliced a chunk right out of his puppet. If puppets could have shell-shocked expressions, Sasori might just have right then.

'Hey, my chakra is working regularly,' she noted with some cheer. That brought a good thought. "Bye bitch, I'm out," she chirped (already picturing how hilarious his expression would be when she disappeared), waving at him before yanking furiously on the loudest signal.

Sasori of the Red Sand took a moment to close his eyes, count to three to soothe his already-strained nerves, and then opened them again. The girl was still gone. "Like a mirage," he mused. "Perhaps she regained control of her chakra much sooner than I realized and employed a genjutsu."

The theory almost worked. But a genjutsu wouldn't explain how she could have utilized a solid manifestation of chakra to slice his tail. No, she had to have been physically present at the time of that attack. Perhaps she had utilized an especially efficient shunshin? If she had managed to clear the last dunes, it would explain why she was out of sight. The brat was from Konoha- she couldn't possibly know the desert well enough to set off in any direction other than the one they had come from. She would die in the desert if she tried.

Of course, she was going to die in the desert regardless. He didn't appreciate irritations like her.

"I'm coming for you, little girl," Sasori uttered lowly, heading back in the direction he had just come from.

How vexing. She was wasting his time. But it was no matter. She couldn't have gotten far. If he turned around, he should be able to retrieve her and still get back to his chosen confrontation ground before the Kazekage managed to escape the bureaucracy back in Suna and set out to find him. Not being a tracker of any kind, it should take the brat plenty of time to track him down. Sasori had already set the trap. Using his captive as a human shield hadn't been his only contingency plan, after all.

 

"Well, that's embarrassing," Aiko muttered to herself and a rather startled looking lizard. The Hiraishin had worked… sort of. She found herself in the middle of nowhere and completely alone. More importantly…

"Someone is eventually going to be confused as to why there's an ass print in the sand with no footprints leading up to it."

She wasn't going to admit to this. 'I must be tireder than I realized,' she grumped. 'God, when was the last time I was so far off the mark?'

Incredibly depressing.

"I'm hot, bleeding, sunburned on the back of my legs, and I have sand in my braaaa," she wailed piteously. "and I'm not even where I wanted to go." She snuffled helplessly for a moment, trying to recapture her shinobi calm. Everything about this sucked super hard.

To be honest, it was pissing her off, now that she'd stopped to think about it. What the hell had she done to deserve a day like this? What kind of asshat picked up his hostage from the hospital? And why the hell hadn't security been better? She'd just totally saved Sand's collective asses the day before or whatever.

Where were they, anyway? She'd been kidnapped for what felt like a million years. 'If you want to get anything done, you have to do it yourself,' she thought grumpily, searching out for one of her Hiraishin tags to try again.

At least she had traveled in the right direction. She could see Suna in the distance, much more closely than it had been when she had been with Sasori. It wasn't close enough to really make her feel like she was far enough away from that lunatic, though, so she'd have to try again.

'Act natural,' she counseled herself. 'Totally not going to tell anyone that escape attempt one was a failure.'

 

"Working together, we can do anything," Naruto shouted, hand curled into a fist. "I don't care that he told you to come alone."

Gaara huffed quietly. "Alright," he acknowledged. "We will save Aiko together." There was a collective sigh of relief from the Konoha delegation.

Whumph.

"Yo," Aiko said blandly from where she was sprawled on the ground at Yamato's feet. Literally. She was sitting on his sandals and using one of his legs as a support. "Sup?"

Temari gave an unbecoming squeak and jumped backwards into Sasuke, who reflexively caught her around her upper arms. Then he flushed red and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

Yamato smacked a palm to his face, already shaking his head. "I can't believe I was worried about you," he groaned quietly to himself. To be fair, she wasn't looking much like herself. Her hair was a fuzzy halo around her head, she was frightfully pale, and there was a large bloodstain leaking down the front of the purple dress he didn't recognize.

As if to complete the range of emotions in the tableau, Kakashi was staring with his visible eye wide in shock.

"Aiko!" Naruto shouted, dropping to his knees at her side, fingers clenching helplessly as if he was scared to touch her and hurt her. He eventually settled with gingerly resting a hand on one of her shoulders in a weak attempt to steady her. "We were going to rescue you!"

She gave him a dirty look and jabbed him with a finger. "I rescued my own damn self, thank you very much," she bit out testily. The intimidating effect was somewhat lessened by the way she was swaying slightly in place.

"How?" Temari asked, visibly baffled. Her brother must have been on a similar train of thought, because he quickly added.

"Did he not have you incapacitated?"

Aiko huffed. "It was easy," she said snippily. "It's not my fault everyone else sucks. I'm a grown damn woman and I don't have to explain myself or wait to get saved."

"Which is why you're holding onto my leg like an angry baby koala," Yamato agreed blandly.

"Yes," she agreed, not loosening her grip on his rapidly numbing calf. "This is intentional."

That was about the time she seemed to notice just how baffled the group looked. "What?" Aiko demanded, looking about as threatening as a kitten and twice as crabby. "Do I look like a damsel in distress? I don't fucking think so. I'm an independent lady. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I missed my check up and I'm going to go take a nap."

There was a rather undignified giggle from Kakashi that the group decided to ignore, and a whispered, "She's still high, isn't she?" from Temari.

"As a kite," Shizune muttered back with some satisfaction.

"What about the man who kidnapped you?" Sasuke furrowed his brow at her.

Aiko waved a hand dismissively. "Creepy fucking puppet guy? Ain't nobody got time for that. I sure as hell didn't. If I'd waited ten more minutes he would have made me into a puppet. Slow ass bastards."

There was a collective flinch and Kakashi started flaring killing intent. Naruto was twitching.

She put her palms on the ground and attempted to stand up. A knee gave out halfway and she thumped back down onto the sand.

"Take it easy," Shizune huffed, pushing her way forward and picking the other kunoichi up with about as much effort as she'd use to pick up a hairbrush. "You're right about one thing, it's way past time for a follow-up."

"Kay," Aiko yawned, curling into the medic nin's arm. "Bye dudes. I'm out."

There was an awkward silence at the gates of Suna while the assembled rescue team watched Shizune trot off with the damsel in distress.

"Perhaps we should hunt down this man regardless," Gaara offered after a long moment.

"Yeah," Naruto agreed sheepishly, scratching at his head. He scowled. "I don't like the sound of this guy. Puppets?" He made a rude sound.

"I do seem to vaguely recall some kidnapping incident," Sasuke added dryly. It seemed to him like a better reason to think their opponent was bad news than his weapon of choice.

As four Konoha ninja, the Kazekage, and his battleaxe of a sister sprinted off into the distance, Baki finally allowed himself to groan. "It's like I'm surrounded by total weirdos," he mumbled crabbily to the gate guard. She gave a terrified giggle and then shrunk back against the wall, as if worried that Gaara might have heard even from such a distance.

Pakkun wasn't terribly happy about running on such hot sand, but he pushed on despite burnt paws. At least his fur shielded him from the harsh sun that was quickly turning the porcelain pale skin above Kakashi's mask pink. They ran without interruption for a little over an hour until Pakkun signaled the scent trail had changed. When he gave a surprised whine and stopped, the whole group flickered into a sudden stop around him.

"What's wrong?"

The pug snuffled around the ground, not even looking at his summoner as he lead them slightly to the side of the regular, straight trail he had been following. "Aiko's scent is much stronger here," he explained. "Most of the time it's been very faint, like she was carried above the ground. But something happened here."

"But we aren't tracking Aiko," Sasuke pointed out with a little hostility.

He got a dirty look in return. "If you can smell another living being, go ahead and track them, boy. If not, let me do my job."

The group bristled uncomfortably at the implication that their opponent had disguised his scent so well that Pakkun couldn't catch up on it. The two most at home in the desert scanned the landscape. Temari's eyes widened at about the same time that Gaara's did. Naruto wasn't paying attention—he was holding direct eye contact with an oversized lizard. It looked decidedly grumpy to see them.

"That is not a natural mark," Gaara said quietly, kneeling to point at a strange indentation in the sand. "It seems oddly careless. The tracks leading up to it have been obscured immaculately. Were it not here, I would never have known that another living being had been here."

'That's an ass print,' Yamato and Temari thought at the same time unbeknownst to each other. She gave the group at large an incredulous look, as if wondering how so many adults could fail to recognize an ass when they saw one in the sand. Presumably they had all seen one before.

'Things make much more sense now,' Yamato tried not to snicker. 'Aiko deals much better with S class freak jobs than she does with confronting personal failures. That's why she was so grumpy when she found us.'

"How bizarre," Kakashi muttered with a slight frown, crouching to get a better look at it himself.

"I've never seen anything like this," Gaara said seriously, staring as if some secret was hidden in the sand.

Yamato suppressed a highly inappropriate laugh and turned it into a rough cough. Temari shot him a sharp look that turned to shared amusement. "S'dry," he explained weakly, holding eye contact with the only other person with a social life of any sort.

Naruto nodded seriously, a frown painted on his features. "It is." He wasn't a tracker, so he shouldn't say anything at all. But personally… he thought it looked like a butt. 'Beserious,' he scolded himself. 'Now isn't the time for jokes. I need to focus so I can help get the bastard who hurt Aiko.'

Sasuke was scanning the dunes around them for movement, eyes red and muscles tight. Clearly, he was above such juvenile fixations at a time like this, so Naruto was determined to keep a straight face as well.

"I don't like leaving without knowing what's going on," Pakkun rumbled, "but this isn't going anywhere. We should go back to the straight trail."

After a while, a doubled path of a strange trailing indentation appeared in the sand. Gaara appeared severely discomfited by that point. It wasn't often that he ran into trails that were totally unfamiliar to him. It wasn't difficult to track—even if it hadn't been visible, the tip of whatever it was had been soaked with day old blood that Pakkun easily tracked. Aiko's trail stopped at the exact place where they discovered a woman's body, bloated from the sun and already picked at by flies. Her skin was straining at a dirtied Suna medic nin uniform.

"The girl that the intruder used to surprise Kankuro," Gaara said quietly. Pity flickered through his gaze. Naruto looked horror struck by the sheer brutality. The girl's neck was completely mangled, and a gigantic splotch of blood trailed down her back that matched suspiciously close to the one on Aiko's front. This girl had been murdered and used as a pack mule.

"He just left her here, like trash?"

The quiet statement seemed to hang in the air for a moment.

Naruto clenched a hand into a fist. "I really hate this guy," he muttered lowly. Sasuke shifted uncomfortably, looking around and avoiding eye contact. He was clearly sharing the realization that this could just as easily have been Aiko. They were hunting a dangerous man.

Of course, even when he wanted to be comforting, Sasuke didn't quite have it in his heart to be nurturing. "Why are we standing around? Let's find this man already."

It was blunt, but a good point.

"Aiko's trail completely stops here," Pakkun pointed out huffily, panting in a desperate attempt to cool down and catch his breath. "I'm useless here."

Gaara's eyes narrowed. "And this is where the doubled path begins. Our intruder showed his true form here."

"He must have gone back for Aiko when she left, not realizing what she had done," Temari added easily while Kakashi knelt to thank and dismiss his summon.

Naruto swallowed uncomfortably. "Does that mean he's given up and making a retreat?"

After all, the path eventually came back and continued past this point. Clearly, he'd given up on finding Aiko and gone on his way in the opposite direction of Suna.

It was hard to say. "Just a moment," Yamato added quietly before turning to Gaara. The teen was still staring at the much-abused girl who he had seen only the day before. "If you'd like, Kazekage-sama, I have a sealing scroll we could use instead of leaving this girl here." The younger man took the proffered scroll with a solemn nod and pulled it open, kneeling at the corpse's head.

"I don't think he gave up," Kakashi added thoughtfully, looking up at the sky. "After he determined he couldn't find Aiko, he followed the exact same path out and retraced his old steps. That indicates that his destination hasn't changed."

"Could be heading to reinforcements," Temari said grimly. In silent agreement, the group set out at top speed as soon as Gaara had tucked away the newly filled scroll. If that was this man's intention, it would be in their best interest to head him off. He had already lost time by searching for his missing prisoner.

They saw the profiles in the distance outside a cave of some sort long before it was possible to make out any faces. However, they were rather distinctive profiles. They weren't the kind of people one could run past, so the group came to a cautious stop with fifty feet still separating them.

"Itachi," Sasuke breathed, sounding strangely nervous. Naruto shot his friend a soothing look and nudged his side with an elbow.

"It'll be okay," he growled. "If he was involved in this, we'll kill him too, Sasuke."

It was downright unnerving to see Sasuke look so sick and reluctant at the sight of his murderous brother. If he'd made a prediction, Naruto would have thought Sasuke more likely to get angry. That only made it worse—this guy shouldn't have so much power over Sasuke. In fact, scratch that. He didn't have that power over Sasuke, because Naruto wouldn't let him hurt his friend again.

 

Omake

If Sasori had gotten her all the way to the cave before the anesthetics wore off…

Aiko blinked, having a hard time readjusting to being awake. 'There are dead people hanging from strings and a wooden scorpion in an ugly housecoat talking to a metal-faced mirage. My keen intuition tells me it's time to go home.'

"I see," Pein said disapprovingly, looking at the slumped form of the confused looking girl his agent had apparently captured for bait.

It was a shame that Sasori had opted to involve more people than he had to. The jinchuuriki of the Tailed Beasts were a necessary sacrifice for a world free of pain and sorrow, but it was not strictly necessary to harm this child. However Pein disliked the practice, he had to allow his agents free reign in order to fulfill their assigned missions.

"I anticipate that I will be ready to perform the extraction before the end of the night."

Pein blinked. The redheaded girl had suddenly disappeared from his vision. "Did your prisoner just escape?"

Sasori slowly turned his head to the definitely empty place where he'd deposited his prisoner. The ropes she'd been tied with were even gone.

"No," he deadpanned, moving to end the connection between himself and his boss. "I'm in a cave. It must be the reception."

"But-"

"You're breaking up," Sasori said hastily, cutting off the connection that allowed Pein to materialize.


	60. Chapter 60

"Well, that's not suspicious at all," Kakashi commented dryly when the two Akatsuki members ahead of them wordlessly turned and entered the gaping maw of a natural cave system.

He gave his team a quick glance (inadvertently shaking out some of the sand that had found its way into his hair and was making it even heavier and stiffer than usual). At least Tenzou could be counted on to be calm and ready to go. He'd keep an eye on the boys. Sasuke was paper pale and shaking. 'Eagerness, or something else?' he wondered with concern. Naruto looked about murderous.

Better eager than frightened, he supposed, but not by much. A fight like this would require cool heads. The Sabaku girl looked ice-cold and ready to go, but she was hardly his to command, so he ignored her.

"Wait, boys." He pushed up the headband covering the Sharingan eye he had been training with extensively in the past few years and gave the cave a once-over. Nothing. No genjutsu, no residual chakra from jutsu techniques, and no unusual physical signs.

Not seeing signs from a trap was a bit disconcerting, since this was so obviously one. There had to be some reason that the Akatsuki wanted to engage them in enclosed quarters. To let the third doubtlessly hiding within get them while they adjusted to the darkness, perhaps? There had to be at least three present, after all. Akatsuki traveled in groups of two, and the Kazekage had killed one. Hoshigaki Kisame and Uchiha Itachi must be his reinforcements.

It wasn't a particularly soothing thought. But these people weren't going to give up. If they retreated, the Akatsuki would just try again and the circumstances might be less favorable that time. It didn't seem likely that he would ever be leading a team more equipped for this fight—six shinobi, all either elites or incredibly powerful but under-experienced were the type of force that wasn't assembled often.

"If Gaara doesn't mind, I think that he and I should check it out. We'll give a holler if we want you to follow us in." He stared down his team, checking to see if they looked to be obedient. "If we can, we'll lead them out and away from whatever trap they have ready to spring. If not, we'll hopefully get the brunt of it and you can be our backup force."

Gaara seemed to be on a similar wavelength. "This is certainly a trap," he agreed solemnly. "We do not all want to walk into it at once. Temari-"

"I know, I know." She bit her lip, looking down. "Be careful."

"How long should we wait?" Kakashi repressed a fond smile. That was Sasuke for you, ever practical.

"Ah, a few minutes or until you hear us dying horribly, I suppose," he added with an eye-smile.

Naruto met his eye with an uncommonly serious expression. "Don't even joke about that, Kakashi-sensei. Tsunade'd kill you if you died."

Sasuke snorted, somehow releasing the built-up tension. "Idiot, that doesn't even make sense," he muttered, elbowing his teammate.

"Does too," Naruto argued. "She'd revive 'im so she could strangle him!"

"Keep in mind that my acquaintance with her is brief, but I'd put my money on a bludgeoning, actually," Temari added with a sideways little smile. Yamato cringed.

"You're both off," Sasuke huffed. "It's much more likely that-"

"As soothing as discussing the methodology of my inevitable murder at the hand of the Hokage is, I think we're going to head in." His tone was unamused, but the banter was actually a bit relaxing. It was familiar.

They didn't say goodbye. It would have felt too final, too much like giving themselves bad luck. He let Gaara investigate the lead with a sand clone and an undulating wave that preceded them, washing over the rocks and soil in order to search out anything suspicious. He kept his own Sharingan active. The drain be damned—he'd need every advantage possible against Uchiha Itachi. He was much stronger than he'd been the last time they had clashed, but that didn't guarantee anything.

'Thank all the kami that Sasuke didn't argue and try to charge in.' That would have been bad, but well within his character profile. Perhaps he'd matured significantly under the Hokage's tutelage?

The light from above head failed, giving only the faintest hints of visibility. They were silent, pacing implacably through what appeared to be a long cave system, barely lit by fluorescent mold growths scattered on the walls.

"Perhaps this location is an attempt to limit my usage of sand," Gaara mused quietly. His supply was only what he had brought in, and he had much less room to work in than was optimal.

Kakashi was about to hum in agreement, but someone else beat him to the punch.

"I constantly find myself in admiration of the stupidity of others. Surely you know that you will die here."

Well, that had to be their mysterious third person, since it decidedly wasn't Uchiha Itachi or Hoshigaki Kisame's voice. It was low, evenly paced, and gravelly. In the dark, it was almost unnerving. It was almost a pity that their puppet master friend had picked an unreceptive audience to waste his theatricality on.

"Big words, from the incompetent who tried to kidnap Aiko," Kakashi bantered casually. "How did that work out for you?"

He took a moment to regret that his only audience was the Kazekage and their enemy. He would have gotten at least a snicker out of even Sasuke for that one. She must have been a horrible hostage, contrary as she was.

The following silence was palpably irritated. The puppet master had probably hoped she had gotten lost in the desert and that they thought he still had her. "I recognize you, whelp," the voice hissed, changing tracks. "How convenient. Even after everything possible has gone awry, it still appears as though I will get to add to my collection. Not only has the Kazekage has come to fight, but also the famous Sharingan no Kakashi."

A slow, wooden clacking came from all around in the darkness. It was impossible to see more than a few feet in any direction, but the acoustics indicated that they had entered a much larger chamber.

"Here I thought the Kazekage would be my best prize, but I already have one of those. You will have the honor of being my first puppet with an ocular kekkai genkai. I will do my best to utilize your abilities to the fullest. But first…"

Gaara's sand whipped up to block a barrage he couldn't see. It shook under the force of heavy thuds, then slowly collapsed.

"You'll have to show them to me."

"Then you should show yourself," Gaara said calmly, arms crossed in front of his torso.

"Ha. You would like that, wouldn't you. Why would I do that, when I have two flesh puppets to assist me?"

Comprehension dawned. "Those weren't really your fellow Akatsuki," Kakashi shifted his hands, ready to make a seal. It had been a trick to lure them in and separate the group.

A hmph echoed around them. "Yes, and no," the puppeteer allowed. "Their physical bodies are elsewhere, but through my jutsu, they are perfected! I would rather have these works of art imbued with their chakra as my allies than the originals themselves."

"Convenient claim, considering the real ones aren't here to help you," Kakashi taunted lightly.

The short laugh was an unpleasant surprise. "You are mistaken. They're outside. Hurry and die now… I promised I would be the first to capture my assigned bijuu."

'Well, shit.' He didn't have time to think more than that, because the cave was suddenly filling with nearly ice-cold water. He was soaked to his ankles before he could react, jumping to the surface. 'This is bad,' he thought with bleak amusement. 'Water will slow Gaara's sand, and then Itachi's fire will bake it. Unless he manages to keep it all dry, which will leave us open to assault from below.'

Hoshigaki Kisame would almost certainly be talented with water release jutsu, even in a secondary form such as this. Of course… if the puppeteer was telling the truth, then fighting these opponents with the same strategies he would normally use was inefficient. It assumed that the puppeteer would use them to fight the same way that the nin themselves battled.

What were the odds of that? It was unlikely, especially since he'd professed preference for his automatons. These opponents would be in perfect sync acting upon one predictable agenda…

With a splash, he took off at a roll, using two spinning kunai to deflect the needles aimed at Gaara's feet. Those had to have been from the real opponent, but he didn't have time to track them back to their point of origin because he was dodging an enormous sword. Knowing it wasn't the real legendary sword didn't make him more eager to contact it. Who knew what traps had been laid on its surface?

This man was after the Kazekage. He had prepared to neutralize the sand that made him a nearly undefeatable opponent, and taken great trouble to specify that he had two 'flesh' puppets. Real ones would be pitifully easy for a sand user to defeat: the slightest bits of dust or matter in the exquisitely formed joints would ruin all the carefully built traps within and slow down its movement. Being flesh, Gaara could immobilize these opponents just as easily if they weren't simulacrums of such high-level shinobi. The unfavorable environment and their coordination would make that aim more difficult.

Of course, the fact that this trap had been expertly tailored for Gaara made Kakashi the fly in the ointment. It would be up to him to provide assistance that this man couldn't have planned for.

That made the first thing they needed to do clear: find their real opponent. The largest factor that would help was increased visibility. If Pakkun hadn't been able to scent this man, Kakashi wouldn't, so they would have to use something else. Of course, fire ninjutsu wouldn't go for any longer than chakra was poured into them. He'd have to figure something out.

Easier said than it was done, while they were harried by simulacrums of two S class fighters, but it was the simplest course of action. Killing the puppet master would turn 'Itachi' and 'Kisame' into piles of meat… so that he could worry about the real ones outside, if this man was telling the truth.

 

"That makes five minutes," Sasuke noted quietly. He hadn't taken his eyes off the cave entrance since their commanding officer had gone in. Eerily enough, they couldn't hear a thing. How deep was the formation? Was there some sort of genjutsu or seal work in place muffling sounds?

Temari flinched, catching Yamato's eye. "Ah, guys? We have incoming."

'And how sad is it that I'm the best sensor here?', she thought glumly. Those chakra signatures weren't exactly subtle ones.

The group's collective gaze followed her finger to where two blurs were approaching at a frightening pace. Warily, she unhooked her fan and slid it out to the first fold, tilting it slightly so that the metal edge caught the sun and reflected back to blind their newest problems. They came to a stop and the tall one flinched his gaze away from the refracted light, but the other gazed implacably at the assembled group.

"But—you went in there! We saw you."

Everyone else seemed too floored to properly react and Naruto's surprise was really quite forgivable, but Temari rolled her eyes and uncharitably thought, 'Well, clearly they aren't in the cave anymore, if they ever were.'

The monstrously imposing Mist nukenin gave a barking laugh, whipping his sword off his back and thrusting the tip into the sand so he could lean on the weapon. "I guess that means we found out what we came here for, eh Itachi? Sasori must have survived if he's playing with those stupid dolls. And look, Konoha conveniently sent out another jinchuuriki for us to grab. It would be a shame to pass up such a golden opportunity. Sasori can fend for himself."

"Indeed."

'Holy hell, the prettiness is genetic.'

Temari shifted her eyes almost immediately away from the pale face that had been hidden under a low hat. She would really prefer not to fight an Uchiha—wind and fire were a dangerous combination. At least they had the advantage of numbers, even if their strongest members were preoccupied.

As if he'd been sharing her thoughts about finalizing how they should split, Yamato slipped a kunai out of his hip pouch- and then threw it to Naruto, of all the people.

"Naruto, catch!" The blonde snapped a hand out to get it, momentarily more confused than anything. "They're after you. If it looks like you're about to lose, spark chakra against that. It's very important, okay?"

"Well, I'll be damned," Hoshigaki murmured, eyes fixed on the tagged kunai. "I haven't heard of one of those in years."

'Well, at least the boys look as confused as I do,' she noted. Yamato had apparently hoped to leave it at that and assume Naruto would obey without further explanation, but the bizarre tendency that some people had to share everything they know kicked in.

"That's the technique that the Yondaime Hokage was famous for. That's how Hiraishin works, doesn't it?" Hoshigaki turned unnatural eyes on Yamato. "You think you'll be able to provide a rescue, boy? Not if I kill you first!"

Yamato leapt backwards and clapped his hands into a seal. "Wood Ninjutsu!"

'Whoa, he's actually pretty good.' That was an enormous element manifestation. Of course, the wall didn't stop Hoshigaki for more than an instant, even though the thunk of it connecting with his bulk was amusing. 'Wait, Hiraishin? Konoha's instantaneous travel technique? Well, suddenly what's been going on with Aiko makes so much more sense. But Yamato must be really desperate if he's hoping she'll be able to get Naruto out. This situation is bad.'

It was probably a good thing that the Mist nin seemed to think that Yamato was the Hiraishin user. Akatsuki would think that the situation was controllable, as long as they kept him too preoccupied to provide aid to Naruto.

"I guess that means you're my fight!" Naruto roared, calling five clones into existence. They immediately grouped into twos and started making odd hand motions. "Rasengan!" He barreled forwards to the older Uchiha, two clones helping him make a pincer formation. The figure he collided with disappeared into smoke, and the real Itachi appeared ten feet away. He huffed irritably. "Sasuke, you're going to have to help. You're faster than me."

That was all she spotted of that fight before it became clear that Yamato needed an assist. "Wind art," she gritted out, forcing her fan open and batting it with such force that she could feel the strain in her shoulder blades. The resultant wave of air forced Hoshigaki's water dragon off course and gave Yamato time to jump out of the sludge pit that had appeared sometime in the seconds she'd looked away.

The two fights quickly veered apart. That was both good and bad. On one hand, it reduced the possibility of friendly fire. But it also meant that they wouldn't be able to provide the younger team with an assist if they got in over their heads. She clenched her jaw. 'We have to finish this as quickly as possible.'

Kisame didn't seem to be feeling particularly cooperative, however.

"Why don't you just drop dead!" Temari rather succinctly expressed her thoughts, sending a gust of razor-sharp air at Hoshigaki. As big as he was, his sword was nearly as bulky, so when he lifted it to block her attack he only ended up with minor gouges in the skin that had been exposed around it, noticeably his bulky shoulders and an arm. He grinned at her, displaying teeth that he had to have spent hours sharpening.

"You want to play too, little girl?" He dislodged his jaw and projectile-vomited a spout of hot water at her. She dodged directly into the air and flipped onto her fan to take the high ground, but barely escaped. Her right foot didn't quite move out of the way in time, and was clipped by the spout. It sent her fluttering uncontrollably backwards and instantly scalded the flesh it had connected with, making it swollen, red, and painful. His follow-up attack might have finished her while she was still fighting for control of her own fan if Yamato hadn't chosen that second to dash in and give a punishing double-kick directly to the Akatsuki's torso.

It got his attention, but the fact that the impact barely seemed to shake the blue man was chilling. Yamato instantly kicked off into a roll, dodging the retaliatory strike. Clearly irritated, Hoshigaki pushed forward with his sword and forced her comrade on the defensive, ducking and weaving around a sword that had to weigh as much as she did and only rarely getting glancing blows of his own in before scuttling backwards.

She pulled her damaged limb safely up onto her weapon and current mode of transport, frowning in through.

'Even with that enormous weapon, he's as fast as either of us. We're going to have to attack simultaneously to cause any real damage to this freak.'

Of course, they were going to have to step up their hitting power as well. "Summoning jutsu!" she bit and smeared a bloody finger across the surface of her fan as smoothly as possible, pumping power into the technique. She was going to need the big guns for this, especially since her wind jutsu was weaker than usual while she was using her fan for other purposes. "Combination wind and summon technique!"

Without further explanation, her speedy weasel summon flickered into the gust she forced out with a huff and landed on the back of the nuke-nin who had turned away from her to engage Yamato. His light feet and more damaging strikes were hidden among the sudden pressure and lightly scored blows from her hard-edge wind technique. Kisame roared in anger and turned to bat her friend away, barely missing the weasel who darted agilely out of reach—which left him open to a low swipe at his shins from Yamato who had pulled out a kunai at some point. He reflexively kicked out, sending Yamato stumbling backwards, but he'd been blooded well.

By the grimace on Yamato's face, the blow had connected solidly, but he stood without a flinch and readied himself to engage again.

Temari was the only one who didn't stumble when the ground shook with such force that something seemed to crack in the stone cave several hundred feet away. It didn't take a genius to figure out the culprits: the two largest summons she had ever seen were silhouetted in the distance where the other fight had meandered. She had to stare. 'I knew they were powerful, but that's insane!' Compared to that mountain-sized toad and the slug thing at its side, her summons looked like a stuffed animal. The toad gave a hop that sent the ground shuddering again, knocking both Kisame and Yamato to their knees on the ground.

'I guess that's my chance!' 

She gripped her fan tightly and whipped it out from underneath her body, generating an enormous force while she fell and forced it down, completely bowling Kisame over and sending him rolling across the sand, ending mostly buried in a flurry of the hard particles. She'd managed to keep the worst of the blow away from Yamato, but he was still harried enough by the disturbed landscape that he had to hold his arms up to shield his face.

She grinned ferally as she lightly touched down with her weight mostly on her good foot, rotating her fan so that it was sideways and spinning her body around entirely to generate a whirlwind that she released directly at the Mist-nin struggling to his feet among the blinding sand she had already kicked up. "This one was inspired by Gaara!" She called out. "Sandstorm!"

True to her rather unimaginative name, the funnel shaped air disturbance picked up a frightful amount of hard sand and buffeted Kisame with it fiercely, hitting him several thousand times and forcing him inside its tunnel. The move blinded, gave physical damage by knocking the victim around like a toy, and filled their lungs with sand and made it hard to breathe. He'd survive, but this would significantly slow Hoshigaki down and impact his ability to spit water ninjutsu.

Of course, she immediately followed it up with a standard wind cutting blast carrying her summons to cause as much damage as possible. Before he could even see through the sand, it was slicing across Kisame's torso, getting blood all over the sand. He grimaced, standing slowly. "You two are better than I gave you credit for. I'll admit that you're each half as good as me, no small feat."

She fought the urge to stick her tongue out at him. How cocky.

 

'I just need to keep my head. He isn't actually trying to capture Naruto, and he won't permanently injure either of us. We just need to put up enough of a showing that he can disengage without rousing suspicion.'

Telling himself that didn't stop the screaming in Sasuke's head that wanted him to tell Itachi that he knew, damnit, and he thought his brother was an idiot but he'd done the best he could and he didn't hate him, could never hate him.

When Naruto shouted for his attention, he jerked back to the real world enough to remember that he had to pretend to want Itachi dead. He had to fight. Breaking his brother's cover would kill him as surely as a chidori to the chest, and he couldn't be certain that they wouldn't be overheard. Besides, he couldn't break Tsunade's confidence and undermine everything they'd been working for. She would find a find to get Itachi home safely and pardoned as soon as it was possible. He knew she would.

'This is just a spar,' he lied to himself. 'Itachi is strong and fast enough that Naruto and I won't be able to kill him anyways. Just pretend it's Shizune.'

Somewhat bolstered by his internal pep talk, he fell into a ready position. Itachi didn't seem inclined to make the first move—merely reacting to Naruto's blows. If he were really taking this fight seriously, he would have to say-

"Don't be stupid, Naruto! You're never going to hit him like that." He glared at his brother. "He's too fast."

Comprehension seemed to dawn in Naruto's eyes. "Geeze," he taunted, "it's like you think we need to take a guy like this seriously. If what we need is a distraction, this should do!" His crossed hands signaled to Sasuke that his companion was about to summon some variation of his Kage Bunshin. Perhaps he intended to use overwhelming numbers? It was crude, but it could work. He readied to slip in and attempt to bat his brother back with Tsunade's strength technique- but faltered entirely when the chakra smoke cleared to reveal what appeared to be Aiko, butt-naked.

'Did Naruto use the Hiraishin to call for help already?' he thought dumbly, closely followed by, 'I would have taken the time to dress.'

Then he grimaced in outright shock. 'And why the hell is she blowing kisses at Itachi?'

Said Uchiha looked unimpressed, if a little bit taken aback by the sheer 'what the fuck' factor of the situation.

When the smoke wafted away entirely and Naruto didn't emerge, he managed to force himself to activate his Sharingan to search for the idiot.

'I should have known,' Sasuke groaned.

"Idiot! Your sister is going to kill you!" he snapped irritably. "And what the hell kind of attack is that?"

"It works on Jiraiya," Naruto pouted, ending the technique and putting his hands on his hips. "It's not my fault that you Uchiha bastards are defective!"

"I am afraid that the success a naked woman has against the toad sannin is not entirely reflective of the general population," Itachi added with- oh god, was that a hint of amusement?

If he could have, Sasuke would have sunk into the ground in shame. That was the first full sentence he'd heard from his brother in god knows how long. What must Itachi think of his teammate?

Itachi wasn't thinking much of anything at all beyond, 'Sasuke has unusual companions,' having not quite hit the hormonal aspect of puberty himself, self-stunted through sheer willpower and the inability to access even most neutral emotions after years of repression. Kisame wasn't entirely mistaken when he claimed that if Itachi was any more tense, he'd compress his ulcers into diamonds.

Just to make the awkward moment end, Sasuke charged forward with fists practically glowing from the readied chakra, making a swipe at Itachi that he dodged. Itachi made the mistake of catching his second blow. The accumulated force sent them both skidding along with his momentum, and Sasuke managed to land a glancing blow across Itachi's torso before he dissolved into a flock of crows, reappearing with a flicker behind him and easily twisting his arm up behind his back to lean down and speak into Sasuke's ear.

"You've grown, Sasuke-kun. But not enough."

He recognized exactly why his brother said that. Sasuke even knew that such an acknowledgment was probably completely genuine. But hell, it still pissed him off a little.

"Kage Bunshin!"

Knowing wordlessly that Naruto would be approaching Itachi's back right now to free him, he used the replacement technique to trade places with one of Naruto's clones and leap downward with all the force he could muster to blow up an enormous amount of the hardened sand that formed something of a floor, instantly dirtying all three of them and inadvertently ending Naruto's clone technique. The genjutsu Naruto had been using to hide among them flickered to an end and he coughed violently, covering his face to protect it from breathing in debris.

"Ah, Sasuke? Maybe we'd be better off backing off and trying to avoid getting thumped."

He had to pull his hands up and shout "Kai!" to be sure that wasn't a really bad genjutsu.

'Kami, that doesn't sound like Naruto at all. He must be taking Akatsuki seriously.'

Naruto also looked mildly affronted, but just gave him a dirty look instead of yelling at him then. "Summoning no Jutsu!" Sasuke joined in as soon as he realized what Naruto's plan was, calling Katsuya's full manifestation for the first time since he had signed Tsunade's contract. The sudden uplift in elevation gave him the odd sensation of his stomach dropping, but he covered the sudden discomfort well.

"Katsuya, acid attack!"

Obediently, she opened her –well, what passed for a mouth—and hacked out a bullet of greenish liquid that impacted against the sand with a sizzle. Itachi darted around on the sand below like a jumping insect, dodging even the far-flung splashes.

Naruto's stupid toad may have come to a similar analogy, because unprompted it gave a gigantic thumping leap that nearly squashed Itachi with little fanfare. The impact send enormous ripples shuddering along Katsuya's length, and she squalled indignantly, her own attack caught in her throat.

"Damnit, Naruto," he yelled in irritation, despite knowing that toads were difficult to control. If he couldn't get his summons to do what he wanted, then he shouldn't be calling them.

"No, stop," Naruto shouted, completely ignoring Sasuke. "Use your oil! Sasuke, light it up!"

Comprehension seemed to dawn on both Uchiha at the same time that an enormous spigot of oily liquid covered the entire field of battle. Sasuke's eyes were wide with horror as he numbly worked through the handsigns he had to in order to play his part- this attack could burn Itachi alive—but Itachi was already moving across the field, away from them and towards his companion.

"Holy shit, did we put Itachi on the run?" Sasuke distantly registered the words coming out of his own mouth.

A moment later, Sasuke managed to pull himself out of his disbelief thoroughly enough to note that Kakashi and Gaara had returned from-had the cave collapsed?

'That makes more sense,' he thought with some disappointment mixed with relief. Running was a good call at that point. Naruto cancelled his summon and sprinted to their team leader, completely ignoring the Akatsuki turning tail to run.

"Sensei! Are you alright?"

"Maa, maa," he demurred, looking tired.

"Should we pursue?" Temari interrupted, visibly scanning her brother for injuries and seeming relieved.

"No. We did what we came for." He tilted his head slightly at Kakashi, who lifted a slightly bloodied fist in acknowledgement.

That was odd. Usually chidori was messier than that. Sasuke didn't question it, however. If they said this puppet master was dead, then he was.

"Was it really Sasori of the Red Sand?" Yamato interjected with poorly-hidden worry.

The two who had fought the puppet master exchanged looks.

"Could have been," Kakashi admitted easily. "That might explain the bit about how it would be fitting to kill me with his parents."

Sasuke cringed a bit. He didn't want to know. Really, he didn't. Just to change the subject, he turned to the group at large. "Does anyone need medical attention before we go?"

Temari and Yamato exchanged sheepish looks and gave him guilty looks that implied the answer was, 'a little.' He rolled his eyes and grabbed Yamato roughly by the arm, lighting up his hand with medical chakra to perform a diagnostic scan in lieu of tugging coherent answers out of him. Naruto sniggered. He seemed to get bored even before Sasuke had fixed Yamato's cracked rib and reduced the swelling in the ankle that would have made running all but impossible for Temari. He dealt with that boredom by summoning a small toad and asking it to carry a message to Jiraiya, who was still waiting in Konoha. He almost immediately got a reply that Naruto passed off to Kakashi with a pout.

The trip back to Suna seemed much longer than the run they had made earlier that day. Shadows were slipping across the dunes, decreasing visibility and making footing even harder to find. Gaara and Temari had broken off as soon as they'd hit the gates, giving goodbyes and apologizing for having to run back to work. It had only been something like eight hours since they had left Suna in the first place, so it was a pleasant surprise to find that Shizune had managed to find the time to complete Aiko's healing.

"But she isn't fit to run yet!" She'd added quickly when Naruto pointed out that they had been ordered to hurry home.

"This isn't that hard to figure out," Sasuke snarked. "We'll have to carry her."

Aiko did not look best pleased by that notion. "I can walk," she protested, sitting up and apparently attempting to look capable.

It might have been a better attempt if she hadn't been wearing a hospital gown.

Shizune snorted and pushed the girl back down. "and someone should find her some clothes," she pointed out dryly, gathering up her clipboard and adding over her shoulder as she went back to complete her rounds, "I don't think it'd be polite to dig out more of Temari's."

"Er-" Naruto, the second smallest person present (if not by much, he was nearly as big as Sasuke) flushed. "I'd offer, but I kind of forgot to bring a change."

The group at large gave him a repulsed look.

"Naruto, I wouldn't have admitted that," Yamato groaned softly, putting a palm to his forehead.

Their team leader didn't seem particularly interested in dwelling on Naruto's lack of hygiene for longer than absolutely necessary. Instead, he pulled off the slack pack on his shoulders and dug around, eventually extracting a blue long-sleeved shirt and pants. "They'll be big, and there's sand, but they're better than a hospital gown."

The group trooped out to let Aiko change. There was a collective snicker when she hobbled to the door, practically daring anyone to say anything with a scowl. Sasuke turned away to compose his expression. He might have offered a change of clothes, but after his growth spurt, the wide-collared shirts he favored might have fallen entirely off the kunoichi. Kakashi's clothes were rolled up several times at the wrists and ankles, but at least they were decent, even if the shirt dipped below her collarbones.

As she was unceremoniously bundled piggyback onto Yamato, Aiko grumbled. "We're never talking about this again. Right, guys? Guys?"

 

"This is every bit as brilliant as it is moronic," Jiraiya said flatly, shoving the un-activated seal copy that had been given to Tsunade under her nose as if he was scolding a bad dog. Aiko quailed under his unusually stern mien. "I don't know how you did it, but you managed to recreate a working Hiraishin without any of the modifications that made it a viable technique. The meat of the Yondaime's version is here, but somehow this seal is highly inefficient, far too time-consuming, and altogether so inferior to the original that it isn't even funny".

'Don't hold anything back,' she thought a bit snidely. 'Just tell me what you really think.' He did.

"I don't know if the ability and blind bull-headedness it took to do that and still end up with a working technique is more or less impressive than the original technique itself. Explain this mess to me, Aiko."

"Ah…" She swallowed, feeling cowed. It was easy to forget just how imposing this man was when he was giggling at girls or bickering with Naruto, but right now she couldn't seem to forget that he could squash her like a bug and only didn't out of the grace of his heart. "I got most of it from the experimentation process outlined in the notes that you gave me. The array that personalized it to me was pretty much lifted from the seal you helped me design for the three-tails."

"And you don't see the design flaw in that last part?" he pushed, eyes serious. "Think on it."

When he'd interrupted, she'd moved to bite her lip. Reluctantly, she unclenched her teeth and tried to force herself to look relaxed. "I knew that the seal I was using had been intended as a translation," she explained. "and if I hadn't modified it, I would have been indicating that the seal was meant to be used by two people. That's why I added this bit here…" she indicated, but he was already shaking his head tiredly.

"Oh, girl, what am I going to do with you." He pressed a hand to his head. "You closed it brilliantly, but you should have redesigned the thing entirely to fit with this seal. I see why it works, but with the original underlying structure, you're expending twenty times as much chakra as you should and losing most of it to dissipation. You should be able to set this seal without even ink, considering how frequently as you've been using it. Just a patterned chakra pulse," he enunciated clearly as he held up a hand and demonstrated a chakra pulse that puffed out into the air and wafted away into nothingness when he didn't attach it to anything. "That's never going to be possible with the design you came up with, unless of course you're hiding three times your chakra reserves somewhere. Got a Yin seal like Tsunade's stored up?"

She winced at his mocking tone. That might explain why making them tired her so much. "Ah."

"Yes, 'ah', indeed," he said dryly.

Kakashi coughed pointedly. "Not that this isn't fascinating stuff, but perhaps we could continue our briefing?"

Jiraiya blinked at the younger man as if he'd only just noticed the office he'd walked into was already occupied. "What, you still aren't done? You need to move faster, man." Without waiting for a reply, he shifted his focus to Tsunade. "You finished with this one, hime?"

She gave an amused nod in return. "Have at," Tsunade favored him with a single brisk wave.

"Excellent." Aiko barely had time to squeak in surprise when the toad sannin picked her up bodily by the back of her shirt and hauled her out of the room. Naruto gave her a smug look that all but screamed, 'Ha! It's not me this time' as the office faded from view and she found herself swinging lightly from Jiraiya's monstrously big paw from the momentum his shunshin generated.

Getting grabbed in someone else's technique was a decidedly unpleasant sensation.

"Was that entirely necessary?" When released, she bent over slightly and attempted to force down nausea, but Jiraiya unsympathetically thumped her across the back.

"Toughen up, kiddo. Take a seat. We're going to go through this step by step until you see why what you did at first was inadvisable." He paused, and added, "Then you're going to tell me how you realized that using this here would work."

It was a good thing she hadn't been particularly taxed by the trip home, because Jiraiya mercilessly prodded and brow-beat her until she had a far superior design and had communicated exactly how she'd come to the unconventional solutions she had the first time on her own. It took hours. When he was done, he had her light it up—and she was downright shocked to feel an active Hiraishin seal flicker into awareness with just a kiss of chakra.

While she stared dumbly, he gave her a toothy grin. "I'm brilliant, aren't I?"

"Whoa." She stared at her new seal, and then amended, "I mean Hai, Jiraiya-sama." She swiveled to give him a low bow. "I am thankful for your guidance."

He looked discomfited by that. "Hey now, no need for such formality," he muttered, turning his face away. "It's my job, you know." Jiraiya cleared his throat uncomfortably. "What I mean to say is-"

"You're my godfather," she interrupted absently, still preoccupied by how easy that had been. After a second of silence, she blinked and looked up. "Is something wrong?"

Jiraiya shook his head and gave an undignified snort. "I keep forgetting how sharp you are, kid. I take it I didn't fool you when I gave you those notes, huh?"

"No, but it was a nice try."

He cuffed her across the back of the head. "Don't lie to me, brat. It was a paper thin excuse, and I was hoping you'd figure it out. Tsunade must have told you about your dad, then? Is it still common knowledge that I was his sensei?"

"No, but it wasn't hard to verify either once I'd noted the physical resemblance that Naruto has," she admitted honestly. (And she really had done that research, years ago. Her records at the private library could testify as to such.) "Seeing as I've only ever seen the name 'Naruto' in one other place, I assumed that you made it up and he was either named in your honor or by you."

"Yes, well." He scratched at the back of his neck. "Anyways. While I'm fulfilling my parental duties, is there anything else that you need, or can I run away from this awkward moment?"

She gave the rhetorical question serious consideration. There was one thing she'd wondered about. "That chameleon genjutsu you taught Naruto. Can you teach me that?"

"Er-" he gave her an odd look. "What for?"

"I think it might help prevent getting immediately clobbered when I Hiraishin around," she explained contemplatively. "I don't have any genjutsu, so I have no idea if I could even do it. But I have terrible nightmarish visions of transporting to Yamato's side and accidentally finding out he prefers briefs to boxers and then having to look him in the eye at the next practice. There's probably an even worse combat scenario, but I'm still too caught up on that one to care."

Jiraiya started laughing immediately. "There are worse reasons," he admitted, shaking his head. "But!" he held up a finger and put his other hand on his hip. "I want you to promise me to use this responsibly!"

"Of course," she agreed immediately.

He grinned. "And by that of course I mean that you have to use it to sneak into the changing rooms at an onsen at least once."

Aiko considered it, but not for long. "That's fine."

"What, really?" Jiraiya gave her a disconcerted look. "That was the part where you were supposed to yell, 'Eek, pervert,' and stomp off." He fluttered his hands above his head in mock-horror.

She gave him a deadpan stare. "I'm still not Naruto. I'm a pervert too."

A silly smile wobbled across his face. "I've never been so proud to have a potential rival in the noblest of pursuits."

 

Notes: Man, there wasn't much Aiko, was there? Sorrow, but that's how the cookie crumbled in this particular chapter. As for the fights... I get so tired of writing those. Yes, Kakashi did chidori the holy crap out of Sasori's heart. Don't be too surprised if updates slow down for a while: I'm reworking my outline. I got to this point a bit faster than expected.

 

Omake

Forgive me, but we actually have to have two omake because making decisions is hard. The other is unrelated and below the first.

 

"Soo," Temari drew out, pinning her youngest brother with a hard stare. "You have a seal that enables you to summon Aiko at any time, huh?"

Gaara nodded. "I would have told you, but I was asked to keep the technique secret."

She waved that away. "That's fine, except for one thing." Temari leaned in close, and seriously asked, "Aren't you a little young for Booty-Call-No-Jutsu?"

Kankuro burst out into surprised howls of laughter, but Gaara looked horrified.

"I would never-"

"A-huh, I'm sure," she interrupted, giving him a clap on the shoulder. "I'm sure that you, an athletic fifteen year old boy, would never think to use the ability to have a pretty fifteen year old girl at your side in an instant for anything other than passing notes in class." By this point, he was as pale as she'd ever seen, and she almost felt bad for teasing.

Not quite, though.

"That would be unprofessional," he finally managed, cheeks just the slightest hint of pink.

"Convincing," she deadpanned, patting his shoulder as she sauntered out. "I'd keep practicing denials if I were you. Eventually, Naruto is going to come to the same conclusion." Still wheezing like a hyena, Kankuro followed her out, giving him one last mirthful look before his office door softly swung shut behind them.

Gaara stared at his sister's back as she stalked out, feeling mildly concussed. It honestly hadn't occurred to him that others might get the impression he had inappropriate sentiments for Uzumaki Aiko. Where had Temari gotten such an impression? She was merely a friend who he trusted to have his best interests in mind and come to lend aid if necessary. The fact that she was conventionally attractive didn't weigh on his mind at all. He had much more important concerns.

He startled, unaware that he'd noted anything about her physical appearance in such terms. Conventionally attractive? Why would he think that, when any number of other descriptive terms would have suited?

'Naruto won't be so unreasonable,' he told himself, turning to go back to work. 'Temari is merely expressing concern over a highly unlikely eventuality.'

 

His head hit the table with a thunk. "I have a headache," Yamato whined into the cool wood surface, feeling his breath wash over his face.

His senpai snickered. "That doesn't answer my question," Kakashi pointed out with a tone that implied he was finding the situation hilarious. "How did this happen?"

"I don't know," he wailed, lifting his head just enough to give Kakashi sad puppy eyes. "I really don't."

Not for the first time, his eyes were drawn to the addition in his bingo page entry that claimed he had been confirmed as a Hiraishin user. He hated the stupid Akatsuki, making stupid assumptions just because he was carrying around a Hiraishin seal. Wasn't it common sense not to report information about techniques that actually hadn't been witnessed? God, it was going to be so embarrassing to tell everyone it was a mistake.

"Good luck with that." Sympathetically, Kakashi patted his back. "Tsunade is going to laugh at you until she's actually sick."

"It wasn't my fault," Yamato muttered, letting his forehead hit the table again.


	61. Chapter 61

And now for something completely different.

 

"Um… Not sure what I should do with these." Aiko bit her lip, looking at the oversized clothes she had shucked and set on top of the counter before her shower the night before. It would probably be polite to wash them before she returned them, right? It would also be a shame to return them from her laundry, because they still carried Kakashi's scent as they were, but they were also a bit sandy and wrinkled. Kakashi would probably launder them again right away because he didn't use the same detergent, but it couldn't be helped.

For form's sake, at least, she dumped them in the washer and liberally poured on some of the syrupy green washing fluid (and took a deep breath of the artificial but still yummy apple scent) before clanging the lid shut and moving to working on cleaning the sandy bits out of her own boots with a grimace. Hers were the only shoes in the genkan- Naruto and Karin had already left for their morning conditioning, and Hinata was out for a run with Kiba and Akamaru.

She had another two days of restricted activity before she could return to training, and Aiko already had an idea as to how she would spend at least some of the time. Learning how to set intangible seals and attach them to whatever she wanted had been a lucky break, but it also made her think of the potential problems that could arise from having so many active seals loose at once. Minato had utilized hundreds of them at a time—it was mind-boggling when she really thought about it. It also made it easy to understand just how other people had managed to get a hold of copies. No one had ever successfully deconstructed one and he'd blown through any traps set for him, but she didn't pretend to think she was immortal. There was always someone bigger and badder than you, even if you were as powerful as Minato had been.

Granted, his seals had dissolved on his death, so at least no one had been able to reverse engineer them. That had been a good bit of forethought. Hiraishin was only rare because it was jealously guarded. Jiraiya scoffed at the idea because he was a bit of an intellectual elitist, but she was sure that someone out there would be just as capable as she was of patching together even an inferior version with access to a finished copy.

Aiko would rather trap hers than let that happen. Hiraishin was nearly unbeatable… when no one else had it. She didn't need competition, thank you very much. Fuck fair play.

'And thank you Danzo-sama, for giving me the concept for this combination seal,' she silently mocked while rummaging through her notes on his silencing seal. He had combined a locking mechanism with paralysis. That wasn't exactly what she needed for her purposes, but it did make her think about how she could combine a locking mechanism with a destructive element that she could activate from a distance.

It was an undoubtedly nasty concept. If she felt anyone twanging at the structure of a seal and attempting to pick the lock, she could reach out and sever the connection so that it literally blew up in their faces. She had no idea exactly what it would do if it were attached directly to a person- would they blow up entirely, or would they just blink and suddenly be missing a patch of skin?

'Somehow, the thought is more amusing than anything else. I could probably vary the explosion by how violently I trigger it. I should test that out.'

Maybe it was just a little bit insanely paranoid, but no one had ever died from being too careful. At least, a statistically significant percentage of people didn't die from being too careful. There'd probably been some freak accident in Konoha's history that killed the twitchiest bastard around, but that was beside the point.

It was pitifully easy to draw up her additions after having mulled over them on the trip back (getting interrupted by the washer's beep mid-process) and attach them to a Hiraishin seal. She set it aside on her bedside table to show Jiraiya later, straining to reach from her cross-legged position against the wall at the head of her bed. She gave a stretch when she was done before scooting forward just a bit and extending her legs, digging her toes into the soft fabric of her comforter.

Her head lightly rested against the cool wall, pushing her hair out to tumble over her shoulders while she considered the implications of what she had just done.

'You know, this could be considered a way of perfecting a tracking specialty. Now that I can set a seal with a chakra pulse, I only have to be able to touch someone anywhere once to find them again. If I use the trapped one, I don't even have to find them again unless to confirm the kill.'

Aiko was sure that this episode of tampering wouldn't affect anything about the Hiraishin itself, but it couldn't hurt to have an expert opinion when Jiraiya was apparently willing to help her out. She'd have to hurry on that, though, before he left town. It would be best to switch out all her old seals for new ones as soon as possible and destroy the less efficient copies. Leaving prototypes lying around would be just idiotic. Well. Maybe she'd leave Kakashi and Yamato with untrapped seals. It wouldn't really be necessary in those cases. They were both trustworthy and not about to play 'rescue me Daphne' like poor Naruto might if Akatsuki got their way. She'd both give him a trapped seal on a kunai and a regular one as an invisible tattoo.

"You know, I thought Karin was exaggerating when she said you almost never leave the house for anything but work or training." Naruto frowned at her from the doorway. "That's so boring, Aiko. There's tons of stuff to do in Konoha that I couldn't do while I was away." He hopped onto her bed in a crouch, sending her bouncing up unwillingly, and he wiggled into her personal space. "Ino-chan's getting a group together to go out to the lake. I'll go if you do."

'He's too good at the puppy eyes.'

Aiko flinched back, torn between wanting to make Naruto happy and not wanting to commit to a day around a large group of people. Once she was there, she couldn't escape without looking like a rude lunatic. "That's not fair," she muttered, giving him an irritable shove that sent Naruto dramatically flopping onto his side on the bed.

"I'm wounded," he wailed, snatching the unguarded pillow and curling up like a pill bug, face squooshed miserably into the blue fabric. "If you loved me, you'd go to the lake, and get a tan, and build a sand castle, and we can have a water fight, and there'll be a picnic, and-"

Aiko rolled her eyes and tugged out the pillow from behind her back to whap him with. She wasn't fast enough- he wrestled it away from her lightning-fast and added it to his horde, lifting his face just enough to give her a cheeky grin before sticking his nose back into the fabric.

"Alright, alright, I'll go."

He wasn't going to leave her alone about it anyways.

"Cool!" Naruto sat up like a meercat, grinning toothily. "I knew you'd agree. S'ats why Ino is waiting in the front room. She says you don't own a swimming suit?"

"I do own a…" She trailed off. "Huh. Why does Ino know more about my wardrobe than I do?"

Her brother shrugged, tugging on her arm and nearly sending her to the floor before she managed to unhook her legs and get her feet on the floor. He didn't even seem to notice, steam-rolling towards her door. "She knows everything, I guess?"

"Not everything, I need to take out a load of laundry before I go or it'll wrinkle." She raised her voice to be heard and pulled her arm out of Naruto's grip. "It'll be just a minute, Ino!"

"Kay!" came the answering shout from where Ino was probably raiding the cupboards for cookies. They were the disappointing boxed kind, but no one had been baking lately.

She'd washed Kakashi's clothes alone, so it only took a moment to fold them and stick them in her top drawer to deal with later and keep them safe from Smaug, who had finally become enough of a calamity to deserve the name.

Aiko tried very hard not to grimace and remembered the mental note she'd made while being lugged back to Konoha- she was going to pack so many extra changes of underwear and hide them in a seal that it wasn't funny. Hers had been shredded by explosive clay beyond all hope of recovery along with those poor shorts. It was probably unimportant at the time compared to what had happened to her still-sore hip and leg, but it had weighed a lot more heavily on her mind on that awful trip home.

Going commando was one thing. Going commando in someone else's pants? She couldn't help but cringe as she made her way to the front of the house. Wasn't being a ninja supposed to be glamorous? Ugh. The things she put up with for this stupid job. If that realization had occurred to Kakashi, he hadn't given any indication. Maybe he was just going to politely burn the pants when she returned them.

She'd already thrown away the bra she'd been wearing, a wasted expense she bitterly regretted. But she just couldn't wear it again now that the matching panties were gone. It would sit in her drawer and bother her every time she saw it.

"You have a bit of chocolate on your lip," Naruto helpfully pointed out.

Ino fluttered her eyelashes in what Aiko was sure was fake surprise. She gave her friend a dirty look from behind Naruto's broad shoulder that Ino completely ignored. "Oh. I don't feel it. Could you help me get it off?"

'Desperate, desperate, I am really desperate,' Aiko silently mocked. 'God Ino, talk about subtle.'

He shrugged and stepped forward to swipe delicately at her lower lip with a finger. He promptly proceeded to stick it in his mouth to lick the sweet off with a grin. "Kay." Ino determinedly maintained eye contact the whole time, mouth slightly parted. Of course, it was subtle enough for Naruto, so the strategy may have been well-chosen. She tricked him into touching her and got him to associate her with candy. But still…

'Ugh, gross.'

It was one thing to think her otouto was adorable. It was something completely different to have to watch Ino try so hard to flirt with him.

"Okay, time to go." She pushed past them and pulled on her newly cleaned open toe boots. They'd be weird with beach wear, but she couldn't force up the effort to care.

"I'll see you guys there, okay?" Naruto called over his shoulder. "I already have my trunks. I'll just meet up with Chouji and help him get the food over."

"Sounds good!" Ino chirped back.

Aiko waited until they were outside to give her friend a little shove. "Seriously, you pervert? Could you wait to molest my brother with your eyes until I'm not in the room? I'm not entirely sure what that was, but I feel dirty now." The shudder she gave wasn't entirely unfeigned.

Ino made a rude sound in return. "Whatever. I was doing no such thing."

That blatant lie aside, the two made a trip to the downtown area where Aiko grabbed literally the first swimsuit she saw- one of the ones that had been on display in the window.

"Holy cow," Ino whimpered. "My mom would kill me if I wore that."

She raised an eyebrow skeptically and shook the green slips of fabric at her friend. "Seriously? It's just a bikini."

Ino gave a nervous laugh. "Are you kidding? I have a one-piece with an attached skirt." She paused. "That reminds me, we're supposed to get the beach towels, sunscreen, and tanning lotion."

Aiko gave her friend a dirty look. "And I assume I'm to pay for all of this?"

"It's not like you can't afford it," Ino said practically. "Oh, by the way. I just got the first edition copy of that first book in the mail. I opened an account for you and a box at the post office instead of sending anything to your house. I can give you the key if you stop by my house on the way home." Then she stuck her tongue out at Aiko, barely managing to suck it back between her teeth before the redhead could make a grab for it. "And no, I'm not a moocher. I brought my wallet too."

"I don't really mind," she admitted. "Just keep your allowance. How many people are we expecting?"

"Ah…" Ino put a finger to her chin. "I think ten total. You and Karin, plus the three groups who graduated in my class."

"That's not so bad," Aiko muttered, carelessly pushing open the door to another boutique and ignoring the jingling bells above head. "Wait, how the hell did anyone get Sasuke to agree to this?"

"Who knows," Ino snorted. "Naruto did it. Maybe they made it into some sort of competition. I don't understand boys. By the way… You really shouldn't have made that joke about them. Temari believed it."

Confused, Aiko turned to look at her friend. "What are you talking about?"

"Temari believes they're a couple." It would have seemed serious if it hadn't been for the smile tugging on Ino's lips. "While she thinks it's totally hot, she's moved on to trying to flirt with some other hunk, I'm sure."

"And you think that's hilarious," Aiko deadpanned before grabbing a pile of oversized beach towels and counting off. "One, two, three…"

"It is," Ino casually interrupted, tugging on another pile. "Don't get those, these are much nicer. Is there a reason you're only grabbing green ones?"

"I don't want to have a ton of mismatched towels," she frowned, neatly piling the less luxurious fabrics back up on the shelf in favor of the ones Ino had pointed out. "Wouldn't that drive you nuts?"

Ino snorted. "God, you're so weird." She made an affectionate kissy face at her friend. "I say that with love."

"You say that because you're eying that nail polish," Aiko shot back. "What's so interesting about it?"

"Kay, you caught me." The little silver charms on Ino's wrist chimed when she reached to pull out a little bottle of slate gray polish. "It's those really cool scented polishes."

Aiko stopped entirely to give her friend a condescending look. "Aren't those for kids?"

"No, you absolute plebian," Ino snarked. "Not the temporary gel things. These are perfumed and they smell when they're dry, not wet." She gave a disappointed frown. "They're so expensive, though."

She took a moment to roll her eyes. Ino was so damn cheap. "Just grab one of every color that you like and we'll try them all out. Maybe one of them will smell good enough to distract me from that nasty coconut suntan lotion Karin smothers herself in."

Ino whapped her with a towel. "She uses the brand I recommended!"

"Then I'll need even more scented polish to distract me from your mutual stench."

The affronted look she received in return for that jibe was pretty glorious.

Ino was already wearing her suit under her skirt and a sleeveless shirt, so Aiko made a hasty wardrobe change in the restroom while Ino went through the check out with her wallet. Ino gave a mocking wolf-whistle as soon as she saw her, puffing her lips out. "Look at you and your naked self!"

She just rolled her eyes at her friend. "Whatever. They wouldn't sell this if it wasn't decent." Still, she pulled a towel out of one of the bags and tied it around her hips. Even with their errands, they weren't the last of the group to meet at the gates. Almost everyone was waiting- Hinata, Karin, Sasuke, Kiba, and Shino had all beat Naruto and Ino's boys out.

Sasuke and Kiba, neither of whom were particularly close to Ino, seemed oddly pleased to see them. Maybe they'd been waiting for a while and thought the girls would be dragging the slackers behind. Ino did usually perform that function, but unfortunately not today. As sad as it was, Naruto was the most punctual out of the three still missing and would probably be the one to urge Chouji and Shikamaru along.

They could be waiting a while. He didn't have much of a sense for urgency and timing.

Ino immediately tossed their bags at a surprised-looking Shino and pulled their papers for approval to leave the village out of her pocket to go talk to the gate guards. Aiko went with her and listened idly. She'd never bothered to get a pass like this before, but it wasn't an unfamiliar concept. They were only going about a mile and a half out of the village, and day trips like this were often approved. They would have to return before the gate guards were switched out for ANBU at night, but other than that their only possible restriction was being ready to return to duty if a messenger was sent for any of them. Chouji and Naruto wandered up with Shikamaru plodding along sullenly behind them, each laden with what looked like a terrifying amount of food. Naruto was cheerily lugging a small cooler, not even having the decency to look strained under the weight of a plastic tub filled with ice and liquids.

Aiko let herself meander to the back of the group as they left, a little more comfortable at a distance. Of course, this group was full of antisocial people like herself, so she ruefully nodded at Shino when he pulled the same trick. At least he didn't try to talk.

The group took the entire walk at a civilian pace and set up on the southern shore about twenty minutes after they'd left. It… wasn't bad. Hinata was the only other girl not slathering herself in the nasty suntan lotion, so they took turns helping each other with sunscreen and immediately laid down to take sun naps while their rowdier peers took the plunge at a run, screaming and splashing each other. Naruto and Sasuke seemed to be very seriously involved in a competition to see who could use jutsu to slap the other with an enormous wave of water. Sasuke won by summoning a surprised looking slug that plopped down and soaked even Ino where she was examining shells in the shallows. Shino plopped down about five feet away from Hinata and immediately pulled out a book.

When she woke up from her nap, drowsy and warm, the first thing Aiko noticed was that the group had moved on to playing in the sand. Kiba was currently being buried in sand. Of course, he was fighting it, which was probably why Sasuke was sitting on his legs and Naruto was using water clones to hold him down and further soak him every time he struggled too violently. Aiko sat up and rolled her eyes fondly, smacking dry lips. Those two were such a nightmare.

"Want a drink?"

At her nod, Chouji tossed her an unopened bottle of grape juice. "Thanks." She uncapped it (grimacing at the scrape of the textured cap against her palm) and took a long pull. "S'good." Hinata blearily sat up, wiping at an eye with her hand and gave a soulful look in the direction of the cooler. Chouji snorted and propped it back open. "Have a preference?"

Hinata had apparently heard of the scented polishes before and was familiar enough to have a preference. She took the soft pink one (scented like candy), so Aiko picked one at random by color (red) and painted her own claws. She only checked the scent when it was dry and was pleasantly surprised by the tea rose scent.

"Better than I expected," she admitted easily to an insufferably smug Ino with grey floral scented nails. It retained the aroma all day, so she kept catching a whiff when she moved her hands around.

'I can't help but think that this would be an excellent aid for setting olfactory genjutsu,' she noted. It actually wasn't uncommon to use nail polish for a spot of color that snagged focus in a similar way for visual genjutsu, so her idea wasn't completely unique. If she had more experience with genjutsu, she might have tried it. As it was, she had easily picked up the visual one Jiraiya gave her, but that one only affected the one sense and she had no training in other types of genjutsu. Shame.

It was amazing that they could waste an entire day doing nothing of value, but it was dark before they had put the last touches on the city made of sand (and then destroyed them all in a mixed jutsu and mock-wrestling fight that reminded Aiko of nothing so much as Godzilla in Tokyo).

Papers stamped and ids checked, the group moved to separate at the gates. Ino made a violent grab for Aiko's arm when she meandered too closely to Naruto, Karin and Hinata.

"Ah, hold on, you're coming to my house remember?"

She had forgotten entirely, actually. By the way Ino rolled her eyes it was obvious, so Aiko didn't even bother lying, just tagged along obediently.

"Don't run in the house!"

Ino grumbled something incoherent at her mother and stopped her dramatic slide across the wooden floor on her slippers, crabbily padding to her bedroom. Aiko cringed imperceptibly at the doorway as she always did. There was just something so offensively disorganized about it. The walls were all painted different shades of purple and covered in mirrors, paper flowers, and a hundred bits of assorted jewelry and beauty products. Ino was like a magpie in human form- if it was pretty, she wanted it.

Despite the way it looked like hellish chaos to Aiko's somewhat minimalist eye, Ino easily located what she'd come for and passed it over. Aiko had to cringe at the cover. "That's not what I drew at all," she grumbled.

Ino gave an apologetic shrug. "They thought the illustrations were too odd, and they re-did them in a more palatable style. If you hate them, you can send back an argument or correction before they print the real edition for sale. But if you send something similar, they're just going to use their artist's stuff."

"Ugh, yuck." Aiko frowned at it. It was garish, with thick lines and overly complicated shading. My Neighbor Totoro just belonged with a subdued spring palette.

'Of course, I do know someone with a more traditional set of artistic sensibilities… Sai could sketch something that would come closer to suiting everyone. And it would provide me with an excuse to spend time with him. That'd please Tsunade…'

That decided, she felt a bit more cheerful. "I'm sorry I made you copy that one out," she apologized as they walked back down the hall. "I guess you were right when you said it wouldn't be a big deal to send off the original copy. You can just pick one off the shelf next time."

"Does that mean I'm your manager?" Ino teased, looking thoroughly pleased with herself, even sandy and disheveled as she was.

Aiko gave a huff of amusement. "Sure, I guess. What's your going rate?"

"Fifty percent of the profits," Ino joked, opening the front door politely.

"Okay."

"Wait, what?" Ino stared dumbly, mouth hanging open. She looked so baffled that Aiko had to stifle a laugh. The blonde scowled. "That's not funny, you jerk."

"I'm not joking. I would never have gotten around to it on my own. Either they won't make anything and so there's no point in being greedy, or there's enough of them to publish that there'll be plenty to go around." Aiko shrugged. "Makes sense to me."

"Er." She fiddled nervously with her hair. "Okay, I guess?" Ino asked uncertainly. "I mean, thank you," she corrected.

"Actually, we should each take 45 %," Aiko amended. "So that we can pay an artist. I have someone in mind."

When she got home, Aiko was immediately distracted by the alarming realization that someone had actually managed to start the rice on fire. She tossed the book down and completely forgot about the errands she'd planned to run that night, so the borrowed clothes lay forgotten in her room even after she'd salvaged dinner and crawled under her covers.

The warmth of sunlight on her bare shoulders prodded Aiko awake. She blearily forced one eye open to glare at the stupid window and wish she had pulled the curtain shut before she had gone to bed. That brought the unusual realization that she'd slept an entire night.

"Weird," she muttered, before pulling her arms over her head and stretching out every muscle she could feel. Aiko smacked her lips and collapsed back into the covers for another few minutes. Drowsy as she was, it took a good half hour to pry her body out of bed. "I think someone turned up the gravityyy," she moaned to the ceiling. Resentfully, she pulled a peach sun-dress on over her head and stuffed her feet in the white cat-faced shoes Naruto had sent her so long ago.

Hey, she was off the clock. She didn't have to figure out real clothes.

Aiko turned a white knapsack completely over on her bed and let the assorted papers and little things like chapstick and-were those socks?- fall out. 'I'll take care of it later.' She slipped both copies of the Totoro book in along with her sealing notebook and pulled the bag over her shoulders.

Unsurprisingly, Jiraiya was easier to find than Sai. His distinctive back was hunched over in front of a very familiar fence. Granted, it was one she usually saw from the other side... She politely tapped his shoulder from behind and then backed up when he swiveled to turn and stand. He blinked confusedly for a moment, and then readjusted to look down. "Oh. It's you," he said flatly. "I don't come here to look at teenaged girls, you know."

She gave an apologetic smile. "I don't mean to distract you from your research for long. I just wanted you to look over a modification I wanted to add to that seal we were working on."

He heaved a put-upon sigh and held out one of his massive, meaty paws. "Hand it over, then."

Aiko flipped the notebook to the right page, smoothed the paper down, and let him tug it out of her grip. The older man kept a poker face as he looked over what was there, mind clearly preoccupied- and then he tilted his head down and gave her a dry look. "That's just mean, girlie."

His voice didn't actually sound disapproving, so she just shrugged. "I don't like the idea of letting anyone get an extended look at my seal," she demurred innocently.

The rude snort almost made her jump. "I don't think that's going to be a big problem. Still… I wouldn't bother with it, but this should work just fine. You're a paranoid little bastard, aren't you?"

"It has other uses," she weakly argued, feeling a flush steal over her cheeks. "Like-"

"Blowing people up?" At her sheepish look, Jiraiya ruffled her hair. "I wasn't born yesterday, you know. I can tell that this seal is weaponized. The only thing I'd have to say is that you should watch the thickness of this line here," he indicated. "Otherwise, this is solid work."

The notebook nearly hit her in the nose when he tossed it back at her. She caught it just in time, cringing at the way the pages rustled and bent.

"Now go away or be quiet. I have research to do." Jiraiya blushed, a silly grin flooding across his features and wrinkling lines all the way up to his eyes. "Heh heh heh…"

Aiko chose both- she quietly wandered away, hands fiddling with the straps at her shoulders and looking at the dirt she was kicking up.

'How on earth am I going to find Sai? What does he even do, besides missions? He probably doesn't spent a lot of time outside wherever he lives or training.'

Well. The first step would be to ascertain whether or not he was working, wouldn't it? It would be so wasteful to spend all day checking unlikely locations if he was out of the village.

'This would be easier if I could go talk to Tsunade herself,' Aiko pouted. Still… she did know an intermediary.

It was probably a good thing that it was Sunday, then. Now that she finally had a destination in mind, Aiko cut across the outskirts of town to a place she'd never actually ventured inside. At the little red gate that partitioned off the Uchiha district, she paused uncomfortably for a minute. It didn't seem right to just walk in. But Sasuke wouldn't mind, would he?

'Plus I don't even know where his house is.'

She face-palmed.

'It'll be the one in the best state of repair, probably. Duh, the other houses have been unoccupied for a decade.'

Walking through the district didn't help her find any obvious candidates. Sasuke either worked his ass off with solid clones to keep the place neat or paid a fortune in D-class missions. The grass was neatly kept, not a roof-tile out of place on a single traditionally styled home, and the stone-paved paths were in immaculate condition and so clean that she almost considered taking off her shoes.

"Oh my god, these gardens must cost a fortune to maintain," she mumbled, kneeling to peer into a reflecting pool. An orange koi liberally splotched with black mouthed at her hand on the other side of the glass-clear water, sending little ripples across the surface.

"That's a rather rude comment to make," Sasuke pointed out, coming to stand by her side.

Aiko flushed. "Ah, yes. I'm sorry, I was just thinking aloud."

"You do that sometimes." She stood, brushing lightly against his side. Just because she could, she tilted her head to lean against his shoulder.

"Eh. I was hoping to ask you for a favor."

She could practically feel him rolling his eyes. "You are the worst guest. You're supposed to let me offer tea and glare at each other over it for half an hour while we silently decide how best to outmaneuver the other before you even hint at a weakness like that. How am I supposed to exploit it and tear at your soft rhetorical underbelly with so little time to plan?"

Aiko tilted her head slightly to give him a skeptical look, so close she could see the little irregularities in his dark eyes that showed differentiation between the actual black pupils and the surrounding coloration. "You've been spending too much time with Tsunade."

"I learned that from my mother, actually," he added dryly.

Awkward.

"Oh." Mildly chastened, she dropped her head to nose into his shoulder instead of replying. He squirmed away.

"Your nose is cold."

It was amazing just how much disapproval that boy could put into such an inane statement.

Aiko rolled her eyes and retreated. "I know, I was pirating your body heat. Anyway…" She gave him a wary look. "Don't act like I'm crazy, but I need to get a hold of Sai."

Sasuke maintained a poker face, but 'what the hell are you thinking' couldn't have been more plainly expressed if he'd said it aloud.

Helplessly, she shrugged. "It's a long story."

The sigh that followed was impressively grumpy for a voiceless exhalation. "I'll find out where you can meet him and get back to you on that tomorrow."

Of course, as it turned out he was wrong. He may well have found out how she could contact Sai, but it didn't do her any good because she had new orders the hour after her medical restriction expired.

'I almost wish I'd spent longer on restricted duty,' Aiko sighed lightly so as not to heat up her mask more than she had to.

The day after she was cleared for full duty, she had been ordered to report for a rotation in Konoha's prison facility. It was depressing, frankly. For once she was actually uninterested in learning more about her job. The minutia of policies for securing and containment procedures were mind numbingly dull whenever they weren't horrifying. She had been forced to bring poor Mitsuo in to help sniff incoming and departing staff for contraband. It was a surprising level of paranoia—not only were prisoners examined daily, but every member of staff was searched every day physically and by whatever methods the available squad was capable of. Aiko had the unfortunate distinction of being the only member of her team with a specialized technique or ability that could be useful in that capacity.

"Sorry, sorry," she soothed her ninken as soon as they were alone, dropping to her knees to wrap her arms around his thick neck. "Poor love, I bet it smells awful in here."

Mitsuo gave a sad whuff and a soft, low bark that she recognized as confirmation.

He padded silently along her side, returning to her team. She'd been called away to do screening, but they were normally posted along cell block intervals to maintain order, especially during times prisoners were moved.

She'd never known Konoha kept so many prisoners. Traitors, spies, dissidents, and foreign prisoners (some of whom who had been long forgotten by their countries of origin) all uneasily broke bread together in an underground facility.

The prison was a legacy of Konoha's half-assed humanist ideology: they didn't often execute prisoners. This wasn't entirely out of kindness. Prisoners could find use years down the line, like be wrung for more information, provide learning dummies for medic nin, or possibly even be traded back to their countries of origin. It cost Konoha almost nothing to maintain the facilities and it was no hardship to feed them in the land of eternal summer.

Regardless of whatever practical value keeping prisoners had, the partial motivation to keep their own hands clean by not just killing them like everyone else seemed to appeared self-serving and unethical to her. What kindness was it really, to keep war prisoners from thirty years ago interred? There were white-haired shinobi in the prison. If they were never going to free them, it seemed crueler to keep them around and let them suffer than it would be to just end it as painlessly as possible.

That was the final containment procedure anyway- as Fish had explained, in case of a break-in or break-out, all potentially dangerous prisoners were to be eliminated. It was a nice euphemism that meant they would be going down the halls and slaughtering prisoners cowering at the back of their cells, many of whom had not held a weapon in over half their lives.

"So much better than a pill or a knife to the spinal column," Aiko muttered with all the contempt she could muster.

But she wasn't being paid to think. She was being paid to stand around and hopefully convince prisoners not to make an attempt by reminding them what would happen if they did.

It was a pretty miserable experience, made all the more so because she couldn't leave. Part of the requirement of this assignment was staying in the facility for the duration. They were on-call 24/7, which meant that she had the dubious pleasure of sleeping in her ANBU gear in a room with her team and only changing in the bathroom alone when she had her twenty minute liberty. Her inconsiderate team didn't always bother with that. The first time she'd walked in to see Donkey with his pants around his ankles and a clean pair in his hands, she'd turned right back around. Unfortunately, she'd seen a lot more skinny man legs and muscled torsos over the shift that she would have liked. ...And also knew more about how dismal they were at changing their underpants. It's not supposed to be optional, people. Pack better.

As odd as it seemed to her, the assignment lasted the apparently arbitrary period of 23 days. When it was over, she reluctantly struggled back home only to find Naruto was pouty about being abandoned without so much as a word.

Aiko genuinely didn't understand what he was upset about. He had to understand that she couldn't talk about her work. All of her peers had been given a chance to see her ANBU tattoos at the lake- did he not know what they represented?

'Actually, that wouldn't surprise me,' she realized dully. Naruto was a bit clueless, and no one had commented.

It would have been in very bad form to do so, if any of them had recognized the symbols. Most of their age group were clan-affiliated and would know well enough to keep their mouths shut.

ANBU wouldn't tattoo their members if mere membership was actually restricted information. No one would be stupid enough to choose such a policy.

'Except the Dark Lord,' she mentally excused. 'Voldemort would so totally do that.'

But Konoha didn't have anyone with cajones as large and illogical as the Dark Lord's, so the real restricted information was the actual content of ANBU training and work. She settled on a rhetorical strategy and plan for mitigating the problem in future.

"I'm doing work for Tsunade that I can't talk about," she'd excused. It wasn't really a lie, after all. Just not the whole truth. Naruto made an 'ohhhh' face of comprehension. "Keep it quiet, please." Her brother easily agreed. "And…" Here she hesitated. "I think I'm going to move out into an apartment of my own so I'm not coming and going from a shared house without telling anyone what's going on."

If she wasn't sharing a house, she would hardly have to make explanations of her whereabouts and weariness. At some point, she was going to come home more than a little battered and didn't much fancy having to hide it from any inquisitive housemates she couldn't tell a damn thing about what was going on.

Aiko had considered making Naruto her confidant to a limited amount of her ANBU activities: if she did, she would hardly have to lie to him and sneak around. But the idea was unpalatable, despite the appeal of having Naruto on her side. It would mean exposing him to things he didn't need to know. ANBU was depressing, brutal, and difficult. Why make him worry?

"I'm not planning on abandoning you. I just… I want the freedom of my own place, you know? You got to leave Konoha for two years, and I've been mostly stuck here with two roommates I didn't pick." She shrugged wryly.

Naruto frowned slightly, examining her face. "Is that really what this is about?"

'Perceptive little bastard,' Aiko thought fondly.

"There's more, but not that I can talk about," she added honestly. Lying to Naruto never worked. He'd just make himself insufferable and sneak around until he thought he had it figured out. He wasn't often right, but she didn't want him poking around this time.

"You're so antisocial and weird," Naruto grumped, stepping in to bend his head to clunk his forehead against hers. "I guess this shouldn't be that surprising. You have to start coming to all the team practices you can, then."

"Uh, I guess I could, but I'm not really on your team assignment right now," she pointed out cautiously. Naruto and Sasuke had been placed back under Kakashi, but her reassignment looked to be pretty solid. They were probably stuck with Yamato.

"Doesn't matter, you're still one of our team. S'not like Kakashi'll care," he shrugged irreverently. Aiko lightly punched his chest, playfully instead of with any actual intent to turn the move into wrestling or sparring.

"Stop talking like that, you know it drives me nuts," she groused, reverting to English. He merely stuck his tongue out at her. With their faces so close together, that meant it barely missed her nose. "Ew, when did you get so gross?"

"I've always been gross, but you're stuck with me," he bantered easily, leaning his head back to butt gently against her forehead. He was rather like a cat, nudging for a petting session. "So, what day of the week is team dinner, when I am invited over for sleepovers, and what day will you be coming over here to make dinner? I'd offer to host you, but you don't want to eat my cooking."

Aiko snorted. "It's far past when you should have learned to cook. And what are you talking about, you've always helped me out. I'm not your damn maid. I guess I'll come over whatever Saturdays I'm free to bully you into proving to me you can cook the other six days of the week."

"It's settled, then." Naruto furrowed his brow. "How the hell are we going to get Kakashi to show up for team dinner?"

"Fuck if I know," she giggled. He did what he wanted.


	62. Chapter 62

"ANBU Butterfly, stay behind. We need to talk."

As always, there was a hint of a cringe when her team leader addressed her by her ridiculously unthreatening code name. Aiko paused, having been ready to leave after practice. Donkey and Boar didn't give so much as a second look to their lingering teammates, apparently eager to get back to their rooms. Much like Aiko, they had retained rooms in the ANBU facility instead of using the locker rooms that trainees did. It made keeping an identity quiet easier, to be sure, but so did not talking. Even though they were allowed to share their identities with their team, none of them had.

Fish was the only member of their squad who had spoken a word since they'd been formed. Even that was the bare necessity of corrections that couldn't be communicated via handsigns.

'So holding me back to talk probably means that I've fucked up,' she internally sighed. To be fair, she had been distracted in practice today.

"Hai, Fish-senpai?" she tried politely. May as well get this over with.

Fish visibly startled at the sound of her voice, shoulders tensing.

She was already unimpressed by this conversation. What a jumpy bastard.

'Holy shit, that's a woman,' thought Fish, now carefully not looking at the unflattering, flat armor chest plate for the hints he had apparently missed. He'd thought he had gotten snubbed by being saddled with some wet-behind-the-ears 13 year old boy on his first full team assignment. Apparently not.

Then he did his best not to snicker. He really did work too much if he was literally incapable of recognizing a woman when he saw one. But he could mock himself later. He'd gotten distracted by his thoughts and been silent too long.

'Better hurry and respond, she seems a bit impatient. I'm such an awkward bastard, did I forget to respond for too long?'

"I meant to have a talk with you about your performance today. It was inadequate and distracted. Can I trust that you will resolve the issue?"

Aiko flushed. "I apologize." She gave a quick bow, "I owe the team an apology as well. I found myself thinking about an outside problem. I will, of course, resolve it."

"What type of problem are we dealing with?" Fish briskly asked.

The indication of actual… well, not interest exactly, but of some sort of engagement with his subordinates threw her for a loop, and she answered honestly. "Er, I'm looking for new living arrangements."

"Oh." There was a pause. "That's easy enough. There are two different apartment complexes and several residential facilities that ANBU recommends and have cleared as especially suitable for organization members due to location and policies. Are you interested in the north or south districts?" At her answer, he continued, "Then I would recommend that you have a talk with the gentleman who runs the hummingbird complex. The office is connected to the building on the intersection of Tobirama and Sugar."

"Tobirama and Sugar. Got it," she repeated obediently. "Thank you, Fish-senpai."

"It was no trouble. I trust that even if you do not end up in that facility, your performance will not be affected in future."

There wasn't any room left for disagreement, so it was good that she didn't have any.

Whoever had originally recommended the hummingbird had made a good choice, she determined later that day while touring open apartments. They were large (only two per floor, making the total number of available rooms rather small), had varied layouts to confuse intruders, were clean, and all allowed for privacy and easily defended and hidden external exit points. Not bad at all, really.

Of course, the walls were not the traditional rice paper kind at the house, so the apartment she chose was a bland white. Thankfully the manager allowed painting and other forms of decoration. Who wanted white walls? Honestly. At least the flooring was a nice pale wood. She signed the contract on the spot. Being a shinobi made it easy to do things like that—ninja got special deals on things like utilities and could be counted on to pay their rent even if they weren't there, because what wasn't subsidized by the village itself could be billed directly to their accounts. (No one wanted to hunt down truant ninja. God, imagining some poor landlord trying to find Kakashi and get him to fill out paperwork just made Aiko cringe.)

She stepped out of her brand-new apartment and turned to lock the door, already compiling a list of what paint she needed to buy and almost missed seeing her next-door neighbor come up the stairs and stride directly to the door to her left. "Oh, hello-"

Aiko stopped dead, blinking in surprise. "Yamato," she belatedly finished her greeting.

He gave her an odd look and a noncommittal nod, gaze darting to her upper arms. Sheepishly, she tugged on the short yellow sleeve that barely covered the tattoo on her left arm to give him a glimpse and gave him a rueful shrug.

"Never would have guessed. Ah well. I suppose I'll be seeing you around, then." Yamato gave her a distracted smile and unlocked his own door.

"I suppose so," she concurred as he disappeared, wondering about the odds.

'Pretty good, actually,' she realized. 'He probably got the same recommendation I did.'

She didn't dwell on it for long. She had other things to accomplish before she worried about moving in so that she didn't have a hundred things to juggle at once. Most notably, tracking down Sai. Tsunade had gone above and beyond what Aiko had asked for—the woman had done some sort of magic with the training field reservations to find out when Aiko could just happen to stumble upon him.

He was probably already there, but she didn't rush to training ground 7. Showing up ten minutes after he did would almost be more suspicious than anything else. Granted, he would probably be suspicious anyway. He was a ninja.

 

It was automatic to direct an ink boar towards the disturbance in the brushes. He was, after all, performing a training exercise that included using ink clones and animals as hostiles and protecting a target—an ink princess dutifully pictured to an accurate degree.

Sai blinked away from the explosion of ink that heralded the destruction of his technique, shielding his eyes. "Washboard-san?"

"Hai, Sai-kun," Washboard replied calmly, shaking a bit of ink off the boot she'd used to kick his boar. "I apologize for interrupting your training. Do you mind if I linger? I would like to talk to you."

"I don't see how you could do any more damage after your clumsy arrival," he soothed. Sai didn't mind her presence at all. Washboard was actually an excellent supplementary resource to his books, and a less volatile test subject for conversation than Dickless or even Kakashi-san.

He still didn't always understand her reactions, like now, when she took a strangely deep breath before replying. Was it not proper etiquette to excuse others' mistakes?

"Well, that's good then." She settled down onto a large rock and patted it. He was baffled for a moment- was she checking for anomalies in texture or temperature? – until she continued, "Sit with me, would you? I have something I'd like to show you."

She had taken the best seat, so he perched nimbly by her side, slightly above her.

'Does Washboard realize how low her top is?'

Sai frowned. From this angle, she was showing more flesh than he'd ever seen outside of that book he had read from Jiraiya-sama. Did that signify something? It must be important. Perhaps the book had been a warning about the strange properties that female chests seemed to possess. He found himself strangely reluctant to look away from the unusual view.

It was probably just the novelty.

"Here." He obediently took the two books she handed him, giving them both a cursory once-over. "I was hoping you could help me out with illustrations. I was going to get that book published, but they disliked my illustrations so much that they redid them." Washboard frowned, flipping through several illustrated pages to show the contrasts. "They're awful," she added with a hint of grumpiness. "Not what they're supposed to be at all. I remembered that you're more classically skilled than I am, and you're certainly more intelligent than the ape that drew this, so I was hoping you could be persuaded to help me out. I don't mean to take advantage of you, of course. Ino is already getting 45% of whatever is left after publishing and binding, but we could negotiate a percentage for you. Opinions, impressions? Do you think you could help me, and would you like to?"

Silently, he ignored her for the time being. Washboard quieted to wait patiently while he scanned the images. That was one of her most positive traits: she did not fill up a conversation with pleasantries and understood when he needed to think.

It was true that the reproductions were not very reflective of the original designs. He was capable of doing a higher quality interpretation. Should he? Would it be wasteful?

'I had been aware that art should have a purpose. Does this satisfy that requirement, or is it frivolous?' Sai's face didn't so much as twitch while he thought.

It would please Danzo-sama, so it mustn't be frivolous. Danzo-sama had been vexed with Sai for some time now, since he had been pulled away from work with team Kakashi and his reports became sparse and based on hearsay and conjecture.

This action would also provide Sai with a reason to socialize with Washboard for his own purposes. He had found her to be the most amiable of those he'd met outside of root (and therefore most amiable in general). Dickless was an excellent illustration of Danzo-sama's maxim that emotion led to weakness. When aroused by anger or embarrassment, Dickless became exponentially less productive and his sparring capabilities suffered.

But Washboard didn't seem to fit with Danzo-sama's maxim. The first part, that attachment led to emotion, certainly seemed to be accurate. But her emotions were reserved, and her attachments did not seem to end in weakness. Unlike Dickless, he had yet to see her lose her temper and become irrational. And those attachments had served her well. Sai did not know exactly what had happened, but he had found out in the course of his investigations that Washboard had gotten into some sort of trouble in Suna and her entire team plus one more stranger had gone to retrieve her and offer assistance.

He didn't understand why they had done such a thing. Perhaps the mission was of the highest importance. But if that were true, would Washboard not have been accompanied with a large team from the start? It did not seem to have been a decision motivated by logic and the village's best interests, but nor was it counter to those interests. Was there a middle ground?

Something about that pulled strangely at his chest. It was the first he had heard of this 'Naruto' from anyone other than Danzo-sama who had described him as a potentially dangerous person of interest, and Sai had yet to see him in person. That addition was even more baffling than that her team had gone in pursuit. At least they seemed to be accustomed to working with her. This Naruto had never been on an official team with Washboard. Perhaps it was connected to their shared genetics?

Was it something about Washboard, or was it team 7 in general that exhibited the oddity? Sai had left teammates to be captured or killed in the course of pursuing a mission's objective before, and not thought once about it. It was their duty. But now, he couldn't stop ruminating on the parallel and wondering if he would have gone to assist Washboard if he had been asked. It would be unpleasant to have to replace her—she was tied to more than one of his objectives, both personal and official.

Sai rather thought that he would not have minded joining that team on their mission. Disturbingly, he was able to come to that conclusion before even running through the full list of the strategic implications of her death. Was his perspective flawed?

Washboard shifted slightly at his side, brushing her shoulder against his ribs and letting her head waver as if she were considering leaning against him.

And he did not move away, because there was something that was not unpleasant about the contact even though he did not need to touch her for body heat.

A single finger twitched imperceptibly against the page he was turning. For Sai, it was a dramatic reaction. Worse, it was genuine and not falsified in an attempt to pacify and interact with anyone else.

'Forgive me, Danzo-sama.'

His perspective was definitely flawed. Perhaps it had been an error to investigate human socialization. The more he knew, the more he felt desire to investigate further. That was a reversal of the proper state of things—he should become satisfied as he grew closer to being able to understand and categorize the oddities of the outsider shinobi. Unfortunately, all it brought him was more questions and an inexorable drive to understand more and strange longings he didn't understand.

His stomach felt strange and heavy when he had first realized that he had questioned one of Danzo-sama's words. He had never done such a thing before. But now… Sai felt strangely discontented with his superior's irritation with him where he would have passively accepted it in the past. Something seemed incongruous about holding him accountable for actions beyond his control. He had gone on several missions with Kakashi-san, and never had that happened in those situations. So perhaps it was something about Danzo-sama and not something about the nature of hierarchy.

That thought raised the unpleasant possibility that he had changed so much that he had formed an opinion counter to Danzo-sama's. But Sai couldn't pinpoint anything incorrect or unsupported in his own logic. If only he knew where he had mis-stepped, he could correct and rip the thought out like the cancer it was.

Instead, it festered and made him ponder things he would never have questioned before. For example, his new orders to gain access to Washboard and make her a viable resource (since Sai had only managed to connect to her and she had ready access to many people of Danzo-sama's interest) lingered in his consciousness. He should be prepared to do anything to fulfill those orders. This opportunity had fallen into his lap, and he should accept it for Danzo-sama's sake.

But he wanted to accept for his own sake, because there was a strange contentedness whenever Washboard or Kakashi-san reached out to include him in something or asked for his opinion. He also wanted to refuse for Washboard's sake. She and Kakashi-san seemed to share a bond, as she did to a lesser extent with Dickless and Virgin (though his observations indicated that Virgin was much more interested in Kakashi-san than Washboard. Perhaps Kakashi-san was the source of the oddity and not Washboard after all?). Doubtlessly this Naruto was much the same. They would be content and effective together as a team on a long-term basis if left alone. But…

'If I do not recruit her, someone else will.'

That had to be that. There was a Root plant on nearly every ANBU team. He did not know her team assignment, but there was almost certainly someone else who would recruit her if he did not. If Washboard could survive ANBU, she could navigate Root. Perhaps she would not even be plagued by the doubts and traitorous misgivings that troubled him. For all that her actions often ran counter to Danzo-sama's teachings, she sometimes reminded him greatly of the Root recruiters and trainees who had been absorbed into the force and not raised inside. Perhaps that was why he could communicate with her better than the others.

"I will help you."

A muscle contracted strangely in his throat, but he couldn't bring himself to move when her reaction was to press up against him and tilt her head up to smile. "I appreciate it. Do you want to discuss payment now, or later? Keep in mind that this could make absolutely nothing, I've no idea if it'll sell or not."

"Later is acceptable. When would you like to see my sketches?"

Washboard did that strange facial movement where she nipped at her lower lip between two teeth and held it there while she breathed in through her nose. Sai had tried it himself once and not understood the appeal, but she often seemed to perform that maneuver when thinking. "Well, I'm going to be moving this week, but two weeks after that I'm hosting a team dinner at my new apartment on Wednesday at seven or so. Would you come?"

He couldn't reply for a moment. Was he considered part of team 7?

"I will be there."

Washboard walked away after that, but Sai found it hard to concentrate on his training. Somehow, it just seemed so unnecessary to run drills for solo missions. He did those so seldom anymore, with the exception of spying on team 7. Perhaps it would be more practical to acquire a training partner.

 

Aiko flinched a little when the privacy seals activated inside Tsunade's office after Shizune closed the door, still a bit surprised by how easily she could feel the chakra spark that signified an active field now that she was paying attention. Learning how to set her own without ink had made her more sensitive to others', apparently.

"Aiko."

'I suppose we're having a meeting now.'

It was a bit unusual. This was her third time taking a shift on guard in Tsunade's office, but it was the first time that anyone had indicated they knew she was there. She'd grown to tolerate the long periods of boredom interspersed with heart-pounding nervousness at sensitive information and tense meetings that she couldn't participate in or ever speak about.

She snapped at the wavering shell of chakra around her body that was forming the chameleon genjutsu to end it, letting it thread apart at her heart and dissolve with a ripple as she stopped suppressing her chakra signature and stepped out of the hidden alcove maintained by someone else's seals.

"Hai, Hokage-sama?"

"Take off that stupid thing, I hate talking to porcelain." Tsunade rustled around in her desk and pulled out two little bottles of—for christ's sake, when did that sneaky bastard get those in here? Shizune searched her bags every morning.

Aiko let herself smile a little as she pulled her mask up to rest over the blue strands of hair on her head and took the proffered drink. "We really shouldn't drink on the clock," she said dryly, nonetheless prying off the metal top and swirling the pink drink inside contemplatively.

Tsunade gave an irreverent shrug, pulling the top off of hers with such force that she crumpled it between her fingers. She flicked her wrist and the bit of metal landed in one of her many potted plants, joining what she now recognized was not a small pile of decorative rocks. "Don't get dull on me now, girl. You're the only one I've found who will drink with me and not tell that harpy who calls herself my apprentice," she grumbled. "Honestly, Shizune acts like I have some sort of problem."

Somehow, she forced out a politely incredulous sound and hastily took a swig of her drink so she didn't have to say anything else. 'Is this… cherry flavored?'

Whatever it was, the drink was both strong and sweet, making it pleasantly tart on the way down. Honestly, she had no idea where Tsunade found this stuff. She'd never seen it or anything like it at a market in Konoha. Considering the variety of ingredients possible, Konoha took advantage of depressingly little produce to make alcohol. It was almost all rice wine of some sort.

As if she'd read Aiko's mind, Tsunade gave an appreciative hum and set her half-empty bottle down on her desk with a clunk. "I get these from Nadeshiko. Anko thinks she's running diplomatic missions. I sneak my alcohol right past Shizune in sealing scrolls and tell her it's above her clearance. She just nods solemnly and acts grateful that I'm working."

Involuntarily, Aiko found herself making a strange, high pitched sound as if someone had just stepped on her chest. Or like someone had kicked a small dog.

Tsunade tossed her head back and laughed, white teeth flashing behind her pink-painted lips. "Oh, don't make that face. It looks like your eyes are going to fall out."

Obediently, Aiko controlled her features into a more normal expression, which made Tsunade snort for some reason.

"Did you just want to laugh at me?" She asked dryly. "If so, I think I must have done my duty for the day and I'll be going now."

The older woman snorted. "Don't be like that. Actually, no, I have two different things to discuss with you. The first is that Jiraiya informed me that you are not to use your old seal anymore and need to replace the one you gave the Kazekage."

Aiko stared blankly for a moment. "Do you need me to pick up any alcohol while I'm in Suna or something?"

She got a dirty look in return. "You don't respect me at all, do you brat? What a stupid question… there's nothing worth drinking in Suna."

Aiko twitched.

"Actually, the Kazekage and his retinue will be coming here and meeting in the fourth conference room on the first floor to discuss subcontracts sometime after you get off your next assignment at the prison facilities. Obviously, you can't be seen with me or that group. So you'll know when to show up because either Kakashi or Yamato will be waiting in the room for you to Hiraishin to in the late afternoon, and I'll bring the group by a few minutes later. Hell, maybe I'll have them both there so the council doesn't whine about bodyguards," she mused to herself. Then she shook her head slightly and continued. "Have a seal at home so you can leave the same way."

"What kind of seal do you want me to give him?" Tsunade just gave her an odd look, so Aiko explained, "I can give another one on a kunai or something. That's what people will expect. But Jiraiya taught me how to apply one with just chakra. It'll stay on a person until I remove it."

'Or, you know, until I explode it. Depending on whether or not I trap it.'

As ugly as the thought was, it was probably a good idea. Gaara was at high risk for a kidnapping. If his bijuu was extracted and he died, it would become pretty clear that the still-active seal wasn't related to that function. If he was dead, it wouldn't matter anyway.

"Huh." Amber eyes flickered upward to stare at the ceiling contemplatively. "Why don't you do both? If you give him a regular one, no one will look for a directly applied seal. Hell, if they found it they'd probably assume it was connected to his bijuu and not dare to touch it," she added with an amused snort. "Put it somewhere where it won't be visible above his clothes, there's always some sneaky bastard who can see chakra. That probably means the torso. Lucky you, you're going to get to feel up a kage."

It wasn't a bad thought. He was pretty cute, plus how many people got to say they'd seen a kage shirtless?

But still, this was Tsunade she was talking to. There was only one appropriate response.

"Just one kage?" she asked with feigned sorrow, opening her eyes to let them waver sadly in imitation of Mitsuo's masterful puppy eyes expression.

For a moment, the older woman looked like she'd been slapped with a fish. Then she gave a giggle, burying her face in her hands. Aiko had a smile of her own, until Tsunade looked at her again. "For some reason, that reminds me. Don't think the old pervert didn't tell me about your modifications to that seal," she drawled. "Be sure to trap the decoy, would you dear?"

Aiko nodded. "That's what I was planning to do for Naruto as well. A hidden tattoo and a trapped decoy."

"I like it. Don't tell him about the direct seal," Tsunade ordered.

"I won't," she agreed easily. Naruto wasn't the best actor. If he thought the kunai was disposable, he could accidentally give that away to any interested observer. Besides, she liked having sneaky tricks up her sleeve.

"Well, that's the easy part," Tsunade drawled, tossing her empty bottle in the trash and pulling out another one from her desk. Aiko involuntarily glanced down at her nearly-full bottle and reminded herself to keep drinking on it, taking another sip. "The second thing… Well. Did Karin tell you that she offered to have Hinata adopted in, so she had a last name? Sasuke snagged the paperwork and I sent it back to them, because they didn't have everything together."

'Nope. First I've heard of this.'

It wasn't a bad idea, though. Traditionally, last names were a privilege of the upper classes. It was a huge fall in status for Hinata to have lost hers when she renounced the Hyuuga clan.

"I don't mind the idea," she eventually settled on.

"I'm glad to hear it," came the ever-so-slightly sarcastic reply. "Because it's not that simple. However, this is the type of complication that I like. Were you aware that a family with four active shinobi qualifies as a clan?"

It took a moment to internalize the repercussions of that.

"The groan wasn't entirely necessary," Tsunade said tartly. "Suck it up. Judging by the fact that you're not an idiot, I'm sure you've put together that you're the oldest of the Uzumaki originating in Konoha, and also the one directly descended from one we actually know was in line to inherit. Kami only knows where Karin came from, but even if you're older you're the only one who could inherit headship."

"I could give it to Naruto," she denied weakly, seeing all her free time fly out the window and weakly wave goodbye on the other side of the small forest clustered in front of the glass.

"You'd have to accept headship first in order to abdicate, and I'm afraid that I will want you to hold onto that for a while. What do you think of the likelihood that Danzo will pass up on the chance to get an apparently vulnerable, unguided fifteen year-old clan head in his pocket?"

'That's a stupid question.'

"Not good," she deadpanned.

"Your eloquence astounds me," Tsunade sent back with a straight face. "In any case, this is an order. When they ask you, you will give your permission, accept the designation, and have Karin file the papers. I'll try to arrange things so that you can begin attending large council meetings." She gave a shrug and a sly smile. "If you really hate it, you could start bringing Naruto with you and grooming him for politics…"

Suddenly, one of Tsunade's secondary motivations made sense.

"You sneaky bastard," Aiko breathed appreciatively. "You're making me train your successor."

She was too busy admiring just how much of a lazy dick Tsunade was to feel resentful. That took talent and dedication.

Tsunade preened a bit. "I like to accomplish as much as possible per wicked plot," she said archly. "It's efficient."

 

After she had finished her shift, Aiko tugged on the seal she had planted in her old bedroom and stripped out of her on-duty uniform in exchange for shorts and a tank top. If she had planned better, she would have worn something old, but unfortunately she had pretty much cleaned out her closet of anything that would have been suitable after her initial ANBU training. It was a shame, but the blue shorts and grey top would just have to be her painting clothes and she'd throw them away later.

"Hey, Naruto," she shouted idly down the hall, stuffing her wallet into her pocket since she wasn't taking any equipment pouches. "Could I convince you to come help me paint?"

"Can't," he shouted back from somewhere in the house. "Maybe tomorrow?"

"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled, leaving the house the conventional way, grateful that she at least had a ratty pair of old white sandals in the genkan. She wasn't going to hold her breath, but it wasn't like he owed her his help.

In all honestly, she probably could have used the assistance. Everyone always said that she had no taste whatsoever, so picking out paint on her own was probably an idiotic idea.

'I guess no one else has to like it,' she told herself firmly, not allowing any weakness or uncertainty to show when she strode into the home supply store. 'If it's really that bad, someone else can host team dinners. Besides, if I stay away from neons, how badly could I really do?'

"Hello, miss, how may I-"

"I need help picking out paint."

She had to be honest with herself. The worst scenario was a really bad one. The cute older boy who worked there looked a bit taken aback by her bluntness, but hey.

It seemed a bit dull to her, but the two cans that would be the living room color were a cute peachy shade, and the genkan got a soft yellow. She could worry about the rest later, but first she would paint the areas where she might have company.

Besides, the shit was actually pretty heavy. Aiko put on her very best 'I'm a grown-up independent killer for hire' attitude, but it must not have been very convincing because an elderly lady rushed to get the door for her on the way out and two different boys offered to help her. Aiko glared them down around the three cans stacked in her left arm and held to her chest by her right. She was glowering at nothing by the time she reached her new apartment sixteen blocks away. Her back was starting to ache, and her arm seemed to be considering just falling off in protest.

'Oh, of all the people to see me struggling with something as mundane as paint,' she thought miserably as soon as she managed to wrestle the door to her building open and trudge up the stairs to see two men talking in the hall.

Yamato gave her a mildly interested once-over and snagged the top two cans out of her grip without even asking. "I'll see you later, senpai."

"Of course," Kakashi murmured, giving Aiko an amused look. "I see you're busy."

She stuck her tongue out at him, but it didn't do any good. He just blinked slowly and loped down the stairs.

"What was he here for?" Aiko asked Yamato curiously, moving to unlock her door with her now-free hand. She couldn't help but wonder… did Kakashi often visit Yamato? Were they actually friends outside of work? She wouldn't have guessed.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Talking about a mission," Yamato said steadily, heavy gaze implying that she should drop the topic. So she did. "Are you planning on painting tonight?" At her nod, Yamato hummed. "Want some help?"

Surprised, Aiko turned her head to look at him as she hip-checked her door open. "That's not necessary, I can do it myself."

"I know you can, but you probably don't want to."

He seemed to be totally serious. "Well- sure. Thank you, I mean," she corrected. "I would appreciate the help, if you're offering."

"Alright," he said easily, hefting his two cans onto the kitchen counter and briskly wiping his hands on his pants. "I'll change into work clothes and be right back."

He returned in what seemed to her to be an identical outfit sans the vest and weaponry, but she didn't say a damn thing. Free help was free help… and he could reach the upper half of the walls without standing on a box.


	63. Chapter 63

This chapter was meant to be much longer and cover two more sections, but I came to a natural ending point. I hope you'll agree on that. It might not seem like it, but this is moving plot.

 

"Ah, shit," Aiko cursed under her breath, pulling her hand back from the angrily sparking seal she had set on a pebble.

The good news was that the explosion worked. The bad news was that she was prone to tugging on the wrong thread of chakra and letting it fizzle instead of instantly come apart. She wanted to be able to end the trapped seal two ways: safely, and destructively. After all, it might end up on people she liked. If she could manage to dissolve it safely, it would be on Gaara.

The door was flung open so violently that it knocked into the wall. That usually heralded that the boys were back. She'd been working the in-going screening when her shift had ended. Since that line closed before the replacements for her team would come on the clock, she'd beaten them all back. Aiko rolled her eyes and subconsciously covered the little black rock she'd been rolling around in a pocket since her shift had started. Unlike paper or people, she could re-use rock as a practice substance as long as she was careful. Her practice pebble was getting decidedly scorched, but there were worse things.

'At least it's an even scorching.'

Tightly secured armor jostled her chest uncomfortably when she gave an involuntary snort at her own questionable humor. The rock she'd found was just barely big enough that she could wrap her Hiraishin around it, even when she condensed it as much as she could bear without smudging. That in itself was a strain—it was most natural to make it at the same size she would have painted it, about a square inch. She could so far get it to a quarter of that size and wrap it around her pebble like a spiderweb of chakra, but it was a major pain.

At the sound of a zipper, she involuntarily glanced up to see that Boar was removing his armor and Fish was pulling open his bag. Aiko grimaced and turned her face away, sitting back onto her bunk and tucked her experiment away. Awkwardly, she concentrated on not letting her innate curiosity compel her to keep an eye on the people moving around in the same room. It was counter-intuitive to actually avoid paying attention to her surroundings, but half-naked men with porcelain masks were more creepy and off-putting than enticing. It might have been better if she'd known what was actually under those masks, but since she genuinely had no idea who they were, there was something really demented about ogling faceless bodies.

Besides, none of them were even that attractive to her. Boar was loaded with so much muscle that she couldn't help but think he just looked like an enormous slab of meat. Donkey might have been good eye-candy if he didn't creep her out, but he was also sort of spidery-looking and loomed over her by a foot and a half. It was a bit intimidating.

Despite being the least physically intimidating of her teammates, Fish was also somewhat intimidating, but that was largely on the basis that he was just so hard to get a read on. His skills were impressive, but that wasn't exactly the problem. Aiko routinely worked with people who were talented and dangerous—but she understood what made them tick. She didn't like not being able to understand her coworkers. How could she hope to control his behavior if she didn't understand him? When she couldn't predict, her next impulse was to avoid, but she couldn't do that either.

To a lesser extent, that was how she felt about the other two as well.

She looked up when the bathroom door shut, just in time to see Boat tilt his head in the same direction and Donkey toss a book at the door. His mask swiveled to look at her before he nudged Boar and hand-signed something she didn't entirely understand. The gist of it seemed to be mocking Fish for being …something… like the rookie.

Judging by the fact that Fish had just disappeared into the closed room with his clothes, it was probably a crack about his comparatively prudish behavior.

Underneath her mask, she bared her teeth at Donkey. 'Asshole.' It was probably meant to be teasing and not actually offensive, but she didn't like being played with.

"The fuck?"

Aiko jumped up from her bed and reached to re-clip her hip pouch, barely managing to hear the bathroom door bang open when Fish came back out. It was the first time she'd heard Donkey speak, but the novelty was overshadowed by the fact that it was also the first time she had heard the siren going off overhead. It sounded like nothing so much as 'zeeeeeer' being crooned again and again by someone with entirely too much fondness for synthesizers and pitch adjustments.

It probably was nothing so entertaining, seeing as they were currently assigned to the fourth level of the underground prison.

All three of them looked to Fish for orders, but they already knew what they were supposed to do. The siren went off in any type of security breach, and the policy was the same no matter if they were dealing with a break-out, problem with staff, or mysterious intruder.

"Containment procedure C," Fish said briskly. Aiko suppressed a cringe, but didn't protest.

Regardless of what was going on, they were assigned to an entire prison block and could not hope to guard the entire ream while the reserve went off to chase whatever the disturbance was. Hence why their assigned role was to make certain that there was no opportunity for the source of the alarm to achieve their objective or free prisoners for a distraction. If the intruder (or escapee, or discovered imposter) actually managed to evade the team chasing them, it would be a pyrrhic victory at best.

There were sixteen cells in their block, all occupied. That left eight cells for each team. All but three of the inhabits were marked as possibly dangerous prisoners or flight risks. Those three would need to be incapacitated to ensure they didn't cause a fuss, either drugged or put into unconsciousness through a genjutsu or pressure point.

As the rookie, she took the western walls with her captain and the other two took the other direction. It was impossible to tell if anyone else was bothered by what they had to do, masked and stiff as they were.

The prisoners didn't share the ANBU team's emotional reserve, but that was understandable. With the open visibility and open halls, it only took a few moments for the alarmed shouting to start. It was distorted under that godawful siren, but it was enough to get those few who hadn't been waiting at the bars for a glimpse of what was happening up off their feet.

Aiko knew these people were criminals and enemies of her country. But going to cell after cell and methodically opening the door and securing the inhabitant around the torso while Fish took their head in his hands and twisted was entirely different. Dully, she supported each body's weight while Fish did a standard check for a lack of pulse, and lowered them to the ground while he literally checked their names off a list before re-locking the cell and opening the next.

Killing someone who would have killed her in a fight if she'd been slower was one thing. She could rationalize that and justify it as necessary for self-preservation, as well as let the adrenaline rush dull the flood of guilt and finger-twitching anxiety.

But this was harder, not made any easier by even her best attempts to ignore struggles, cursing, or hysterical protests.

It wasn't much easier to leave the two non-threats on their side of the wall untouched. That meant they were staring. Luckily, Donkey came along and put them out in a genjutsu, giving her the novel experience of actually being glad he was there for once.

The cell block could never be called silent, not with that horrible shrill siren. But it seemed strangely quiet without human noises. Aiko backed up against a wall to wait for further orders. The gate to their section clanked open and all of them jumped to attention. It only turned out to be the other team that had been missing from the block when the siren went off.

"The situation is resolved," the purple-haired woman heading the other team informed them dully. "Your team is no longer needed."

"Understood." Fish nodded civilly and gestured for his team to follow him back to retrieve their belongings. The siren turned off while they were gathering their minimal supplies, leaving an echoing ring in her ears and a faint headache.

She wasn't the only one, apparently.

"Damn, I could use a drink," Donkey muttered bitterly.

The whole team perked up at one. "Not a bad idea," Fish agreed wryly, resting a hand on his hip. "Anyone who doesn't mind letting me see their face is welcome to join me at the bar."

'Well, here's my chance to get a read on my coworkers,' Aiko thought dryly, unconsciously mimicking her captain's movement (though with sassier hip placement).

"Which one?" Boar rumbled, tapping at his mask thoughtfully.

Fish shrugged. "I don't care. Covert Schnapps?"

There was an awkward silence, until Donkey managed to get his thoughts into words. "Captain, your drinks all come with pink umbrellas, don't they?"

"If I collect enough, they'll keep me dry all spring," he shot back without appearing to think about it. "In any case, we could change into civilian gear here or meet up. Opinions?"

Boar gave a snort and wordlessly began to peel off his armor and gloves, leaving him only in non-descript black gear. His mask was the first to come off, revealing that he seemed to be in his thirties… and Aiko was glad for a moment that her mask was still on, because she otherwise might have offended him by staring at the massive acid scars painted across his cheek and into his hairline.

Before she took anything off, Aiko opened her bag and pushed the clothes within down as far as possible, pulling out her wallet and sticking it under her waistband. Her shin guards were slipped in along the sides, and her chest plate barely fit even when tilted carefully. She tugged up a black shirt to wrap her mask in and finally unpinned her wig and slipped it between a shin guard and her chest plate. The gloves weren't really that distinctive and she liked them, so they stayed on. She bit her lower lip in concentration, somehow managing to work the zipper closed. Then she looked up-

And blinked. "What's everyone staring for?"

"Holy shit, you're a chick?" The tan, lanky man with just a hint of wrinkles around his eyes who huffed that out could only be Donkey. 'Someone has a sick sense of humor', she noted while looking at large front teeth that made Aiko wince at how cruelly apt his codename was. It wasn't the first time she'd thought he'd seem more attractive if he kept his mouth shut, but usually she was thinking about the awful things that came out of his mouth.

Then she caught up with what he'd actually said. "Wait, you- you thought I was a man?" Her jaw dropped. Self-consciously, a hand wandered up to pull at the secured braid keeping her long hair flat against her skull and she extracted the pins, finger-combing the braid out.

"A boy, actually," Boar agreed docilely.

Aiko slumped slightly, shoulder curling inward. 'I wrap my chest because it's practical,' she reminded herself sternly. 'It's not worth bouncing around just to soothe my pride.'

There was a snort. "How clueless could you two be? It was obvious that Butterfly was a woman," Fish added calmly.

"Thank you," she started, turning to look at him for the first time. Aiko didn't allow herself to do more than blink in reaction to what she saw. 'Fuck, there's one in every bunch,' she realized darkly, trying not to let her expression waver. 'Pretty boys everywhere I fucking go.' Fish was young-looking and had dark brown hair that bordered on black like the other two men did, but that was where the similarities ended. He had no scarring, no unusual features (unless one counted cheekbones any supermodel might kill for) and rather sleepy-looking green eyes set into a long, lean face. Instead of continuing what she'd meant to say after what had been just a slight pause, Aiko turned and slung her bag over her shoulder. "Are we ditching these in the equipment room for now, or what?"

Donkey gave her a mildly piteous look, as if she'd asked something phenomenally obvious. She didn't know why, but she felt chagrinned and had to force down a blush.

"Nah, it's got chakra-secured lockers," Fish kindly explained. "Patrons aren't allowed to bring equipment in."

"Right."

There was an awkward pause. Boar managed to break it. "You're all socially retarded geniuses, aren't you?" he asked dryly, running a hand through his short hair. "Here, let me help. My native people deal with new people by pretending to care about them. My name is Shou. What are your names?"

"Er, Yukimasa," their team leader filled in with- was that a blush on his pale cheeks? What the hell did he have to be embarrassed about?

She shook his apparent weirdness out of mind and idly supplied, "Aiko, very nice to meet you."

"Charmed, I'm sure." The only man who had yet to introduce himself gave them all an unimpressed look. "I agreed to go out for drinks with you pussies, not talk about our feelings. If you must, you girls can call me Aoto."

'He's still an asshole,' Aiko noted with a twitch under her right eye. 'I'm always going to hate working with him, aren't I?'

 

"I love you guyssss," Aiko sniffled with mostly-affected-incoherence, rubbing her nose against something chilly and sour that Aoto had recommended called a 'Slicked Tit'. It was her fourth drink of the night in the smoky bar she'd been dragged to, and all of them had been new to her. Of course, they were all mixed drinks and nothing too hard, so far. She'd liked some of them a lot more than others, but it was really strangely fun to keep trying different combinations. She was definitely not drunk yet, but she was feeling pretty fucking good and unusually fond of her drinking companions as they took turns sharing implausible battle stories. If sober, she might not have shared the mildly embarrassing story about thoughtlessly using a family technique in front of hostiles, but it had gotten a pretty good giggle and a round of stories about rookie mistakes.

"Holy shiiit, the rookie has no alcohol tolerance," Aoto chuckled with just a little too much glee, leaning in with a smirk. "Hey kid, want to try 'sex on the beach' next?" He was practically purring, voice dropping down to a sexy bass. She shivered involuntarily, suddenly confused by her own reactions.

"Please stop plying her with alcohol," Yukimasa scolded mildly, still nursing his third drink. "It's unprofessional. Let her drink at her own pace."

"Pfft." Aoto made a rude sound, tilting his hip up and digging out his wallet. "You're fucking boring even off the clock, fish-face. I've gotta split." Aiko blearily looked up at the sound of paper rustling and became transfixed by the fast movement as her peer counted out his part of the check.

"Night," Yukimasa yawned, blinking doe eyes up as the other man moved to leave. The opened door sent an angry breeze that rustled their table cloth and carried in a lightning bug. It darted up to the ceiling as the door swung shut. "Actually, I'm going to go on a bathroom run. Be right back." He fixed Shou with a surprisingly stern look, communicating something Aiko completely missed before pushing his chair back to stand up.

"We'll be fine," Shou waved him off. The table was silent for a few moments while their team leader walked out of hearing distance. The bulky man only took his peripheral vision off the hall that led to the bathroom when Yukimasa was out of sight. "So, Aiko." Shou rested his elbows on the table and pinned her with an inscrutable look.

"Hmm?" She managed, suppressing the urge to fidget. Someone had started karaoke, and it sounded like a fantastic idea. She should totally go on the stage next.

"Bad night, huh?"

Aiko crinkled her brow, not really seeing the point in that question. "Yes," she agreed. "Not the best." It had been painfully dull, up until the depressing part.

"Doesn't it seem so stupid and inefficient?" Shou pried seriously. "I mean, if things had been done properly in the first place, the security breach wouldn't have even been an issue. That prison complex is bloated. If the Hokage's office had made the right call, we wouldn't be keeping hundreds of possible threats within the village."

Something about the conversation tugged at her awareness, but she couldn't help but nod in agreement. "I agree," she admitted, leaning over and supporting herself with an arm on the chair Yukimasa had recently vacated.

It did seem phenomenally idiotic to tie up elite resources keeping hostiles pinned up in close vicinity to their most vulnerable citizens and resources, as well as their center of command. Why not kill them once they'd been interrogated, or trade them back to their countries of origin for diplomatic concessions? Holding out because they might get a better deal in the future was optimistic and wasteful.

But Shou looked more pleased than that apparently simple statement warranted, and something clicked nervously in her brain. Aiko kept her expression locked in mimicry of alcoholic stupidity, with lips slightly parted, eyes lidded, and the rest of her face slack, but her mind was working as fast as it could in her slightly impaired state. It only took a minute to figure out what had been so outstanding about what she'd agreed to- Shou had disrespected the current military leader, and she hadn't blinked. Why would that have pleased him?

'Not that I give a rats' ass about respecting the hierarchy, but I probably would if I wasn't such an anomaly…'

That was practically intellectual treason, after all. Konoha actively nurtured a self-sacrificial, collectivist outlook that privileged one position above all others- the office of the Hokage. Very few people raised in that environment would feel comfortable disrespecting the person they had been raised to believe was a hero from the time they read their very first picture books.

Shou had been probing to try to ascertain her genuine attitudes about either Tsunade or Sarutobi. He'd gotten her alone, and he'd only asked her when her mental facilities appeared to be severely affected. That was pretty shifty.

"If they were taken care of in the first place, we wouldn't waste resources on them," Aiko tried, just to see if he was eager to continue the conversation or if it had just been a bizarre coincidence that she'd happened to get a teammate with subversive attitudes.

The gleam in his eyes indicated that was not the case. "I agree. ANBU could be put to much better use, under someone who knew how to allocate resources."

"That'd be nice," she agreed dreamily, intentionally letting her focus wander above his shoulder.

Bingo. There was her way into root. If Boar was trying to recruit her… Well, she'd just have to let him. It was an effort not to let a Cheshire cat-like grin across her features. Ninja cool. She had to keep her ninja cool.

A shadow fell over the table. "What'd I miss?" Yukimasa asked with a cheery tone and just a little too much attention on Shou, who had leaned across the table into Aiko's personal space during their conversation.

Brown eyes flickered away from her, avoiding their team leader entirely. "Not much. I'll see you two later, I'm beat." The hulking ANBU pushed his chair out and stood to his full height, dwarfing the other man who had not yet sat. He left to a chorus of 'goodnights' from the two remaining.

Scrape.

Aiko turned a little to keep Yukimasa in her peripheral while he sat to her right at the circular table, drumming his fingers against the blue cloth and giving her a contemplative look. "He wasn't bothering you, was he?" the man asked lightly.

She made an incredulous sound into her drink and gave him a wicked smile, a little high on a combination of being tipsy and discovering that she had found her root contact. "No. What if he was?" she challenged, before tossing down the rest of her drink.

"Well, I suppose I would provide moral support while you beat him up, because I wouldn't dare to presume you'd need assistance." He gave her a lazy smile with thin, pale lips.

'Damn, he's pretty smooth.'

"Good answer," she allowed. He made a noncommittal sound. "Hey, waiter! Can I have… have…" she turned to Yukimasa. "Suggestions?" Idly, she kept an eye on the light-haired teen approaching them with a slightly sullen expression and a hand in the pocket of his blue apron.

Her captain actually chuckled, apparently more affected by his hard liquor than she'd realized. "Try a hurricane."

"Can I have a hurricane," she finished smoothly. The waiter made a sound to indicate he'd heard and wove away through the crowd to the bar—less than ten feet away.

"Jeeze, how many are you planning on having?"

She gave that serious consideration. "I want to get shitfaced," Aiko eventually settled on. This was the first time she'd gone out to an actual bar. It wasn't like this was something she could do with Naruto, Ino, or (god forbid) Kakashi. She didn't have any friends who would like this sort of thing. She couldn't even imagine Kakashi going out and drinking in public.

Wait. Yes, she could. Aiko giggled, feeling her cheeks go a little numb with the force of her grin. He would be so grumpy.

Wordlessly, her captain just shook his head and ruefully smiled.

"Your wish is my command," the waiter said dryly as he handed over her new drink. "You want me to just keep them coming?"

"Ah, lemme try it first." Aiko eyed her new drink skeptically, experimentally licking at the top of the pinkish-orange drink and sucking on her cold tongue. Her eyes widened, and she ran her tongue over her lower lip to get the last bit of sweet taste.

At her affirmative nod to the waiter, Yukimasa heaved a sigh. "Me as well," he added, swirling his nearly empty glass. "Can't let a lady drink alone, can I?"

She gave an ugly snort and drained her entire drink in two pulls, smacking chilly lips and practically breathing a misty fog when she was done. Her companion's eyebrows had gone up almost a full inch on his brow.

"Wow, you were serious about getting drunk," he commented, blinking tiredly at her. Or maybe that was just how he always looked? Aiko leaned over, staring closely at his face in an attempt to figure it out.

"Stop moving so much," she ordered, whapping at his shoulder and using her left hand as a brace against the table. "S'your face always like that?"

He scrunched up his nose and retracted slightly from the short finger that then prodded at his cheek. When it followed him back and he couldn't lean further into his chair, her captain captured her wrist and gave her an indulgent look. "What is that supposed to mean? You're going to hurt my feelings."

"You look like you're about to fall asleep," Aiko explained, letting her arm go limp, only supported by the loose grip around her wrist.

"Ah. Yes, that's just my face." Yukimasa gently put her hand down on the table and reached out to take one of the drinks their waiter had brought out. He'd apparently chosen to cut out a trip and brought them two drinks each in one trip. "Thanks." He nodded at the departing teen, wrapping long fingers around his blue-tinted glass.

It turned out that just three hurricanes were enough to blur her vision and make sitting up straight significantly harder than it had been. Aiko wobbled on her chair, trying not to giggle.

"A-and when we found the targe…" Yukimasa trailed off, frowning slightly. "What you staring fo'?"

"Your face," she explained vaguely, waving her hand at him. "is pink. Pink."

"Shut up," he countered deliberately, crinkling up his forehead.

Aiko overreacted, making an offended face and lurching backwards. The theatrical movement lost its intended effect when the movement propelled her completely off her chair and onto the sticky floor. Her ankle caught around a table leg, clonking painfully.

"Ow," she said stupidly, blinking up at the underside of the table.

Her captain leaned over with a giggle and a sideways little grin, swaying slightly. "I think you're drunk," he pointed out unnecessarily. "You should go home. We should go home." He frowned slightly. "Not the same home," he clarified after a moment.

"No," she protested weakly. "We should do something else."

Yukimasa made a bizarre face, drawing his eyebrows down, scrunching his nose, and letting his mouth hang slightly open. "Like what?"

"Something…. Stupid," she decided.

 

"Oh, I feel like shit," Aiko moaned, curling up and covering her face. It was no use. The sunlight on her face just refused to fuck off, even when she nudged her nose into her pillow and put her arms over her head. The movement pulled painfully at her right shoulder blade, which brought her up short in surprise.

"What?"

She pushed herself up and twisted in an attempt to see the burning skin. 'I definitely do not remember getting injured last night.' Of course, that didn't mean much. She didn't really remember much about last night after Donkey and Boar left the bar. It was no good- she couldn't see a damn thing. Awkwardly, she wrestled her way out of her tangled covers (crankily shaking her heel to escape her green sheets) and stumbled across the bare wooden floor to her bathroom to use that mirror.

Her jaw dropped, neck craning to spot her right shoulder blade. The girl in the mirror was looking like a bit of a dope with her under-eye circles and parted mouth, but it was hard to care about that bit.

"When the fuck did I get another tattoo?"


	64. Chapter 64

Aiko fought her way through a miserable hangover and rather perplexing memory blackout to make her new apartment something closer to habitable. The first thing that she did was dig out the thick curtains she had purchased and cover every hint of sunlight she could manage. It had been creeping in to stab at her eyes, and she didn't fucking appreciate it.

Of course, she was still half-asleep, so it wasn't until they were all up that she realized she had put the kitchen curtains in her bedroom and vice versa.

'I can deal with that later,' she decided sullenly.

Her early dismissal from her shift at the detention center had given her an extra day to get her apartment in shape, but it was hard to appreciate that. Thinking that a shower might wake her up, she stripped off her clothes from the night before, wrinkling her nose as she realized they smelled like smoke and sake. Ugh.

It wasn't until she was actually in the shower that she realized, "I left my bag at the bar." Aiko groaned, letting her head clunk against the teal colored tiles that made the shower wall. Feeling a bit dumb, she eventually crawled out of the hot water and wrapped herself up in one of the enormous green towels Ino had picked out for her. It reached all the way to her knees. Red hair still plastered to her skull, she sneezed pathetically in the chill of her apartment and considered her options.

"I could wear my dirty clothes, be naked forever, wash my dirty clothes, or sneak back into the house and grab the first thing I find," she mused. She didn't even have a washing machine in her new apartment—there was a mutual laundry room. Clearly, she couldn't count on that option, even if she'd wanted to hang around naked for two hours.

As it was, it was an obvious choice, although it might not have been if she had forgotten to put a Hiraishin tag in her old bedroom. Naked as the day she was born, Aiko tugged on what she thought had to be the right seal (and experienced a brief moment of terror that she could have misjudged and gone to one of the boys).

"Oh, thank god," she mumbled when her eyes managed to register the familiar sight of her old room. The sound of talking in the hallway made her ears perk up, and she momentarily considered the explanation she would have to give for showing up in her old house naked, wet, and a day before she was supposed to be back from her assignment. Talk about awkward. Besides, it was far too bright to linger here. Carefully, she slipped across her wooden floor as quickly as possible and pulled open her top drawer—and grimaced, cringing.

'That was unexpectedly loud.' 

She froze, eyes wide. Maybe no one heard?

"Did you hear something?"

Hope was for suckers. Aiko stuck a damp hand in the drawer and clenched her fist around literally the first thing she felt an instant before she tugged on the seal singing to her from her new apartment's living room.

"That could have been awkward," she said to no one, dropping her towel carelessly and unfolding her loot. Then she groaned. "Son of a bitch."

Well, what Kakashi didn't know wouldn't hurt him. She'd gone too far to go back now. Without bothering to fully dry off, she unfolded the soft material of Kakashi's navy shirt and pulled it over her head unceremoniously. The pants were just as poorly fitting as she remembered—dragging on the floor by half a foot even when she pulled it up on her hips higher than what felt natural.

"Stupid jerk with stupid long legs," she sighed, doing her best to roll the legs up and pushing the sleeves up her arms.

'I don't have to accomplish that much today,' she promised herself fervently. The original plan had been to get everything done in one day, so she was already ahead of schedule. Somehow she managed to push herself through putting away the box of dishes that had been brought over before she had to slump down on the floor and hold her head in her hands.

Bang. Bang.

Aiko forced open one eye and glared sullenly in the vague direction of the door, but the person on the other side didn't seem to care. "Oh, fine," she sighed, crawling across the floor on her hands and knees and bracing herself against the wall to pull the door open.

A sheepish-looking Yukimasa was fidgeting on her stoop.

"Uh, hi," she said stupidly. "Do you want to come in?"

He shook his head. "That won't be necessary. I brought this over." With an oof, she caught the oversized bag her captain tossed at her. "Sorry about that, I only realized that it might seem creepy that I could both track you and replicate your chakra signature when I'd already retrieved it from the lockers."

Aiko stared blankly up at him, dropping the bag on the floor inside her door. "It should have occurred to you sooner," she said flatly.

Yukimasa flushed, a hand twitching as if he was suppressing the urge to fidget. "Ah, yes." He cleared his throat. "I was wondering…" Green eyes darted either way down the hall, and he self-consciously looked down, apparently not noticing the hand that wandered up towards his right shoulder blade. Her eyes widened in comprehension.

"Are you trying to ask me what happened last night?"

Hopefully, he looked up at her. "Are you saying that you remember what happened?"

"I don't know, that depends on what you think happened," she deflected.

They narrowed their eyes at each other, neither willing to spit out what had to be said. Stubbornly, Aiko refused to look away.

Yukimasa was the one to give in with a sigh. "Look, do you remember why the hell I have a tattoo of the Hokage in lingerie on my back? Not that I'm complaining." He trailed off. "Well, I'm complaining a little," he added darkly. "I think she might actually kill me if she found out. But now I can't stop wondering if she really does own those panties."

"You too?" she breathed, eyes wide. "With like, the green jacket falling off her shoulders and nothing else?" She gave a stupid grin.

'In retrospect, the pigtails are hotter than I'd realized. Will have to take a good look the next time I see her.'

He slumped. "So… that's a no. You don't remember either."

"Sorry," she shrugged, genuinely disappointed. "At least we're brave drunks?" He looked majorly bummed. Her brow furrowed. "Hey wait, how long have you been up? Shouldn't you be cringing somewhere in the dark?" He certainly looked tired enough.

Yukimasa gave her an odd look. "I took painkillers."

'Oh. Why did that never occur to me?'

She cringed away from the way that he seemed to snicker at her. It wasn't that funny. She'd never had a hangover before. She didn't even have painkillers around. This was a different kind of pain—normally, soreness, cuts, and even minor broken bones could be powered through. But this affected her balance and cognitive functions.

"You should go drink some water and take a nap," he advised dully. "I'll see you later, then."

"Yeahhhh," she drew out slowly, feeling a bit nauseous at the idea of consuming anything at all. Still, she politely closed the door behind him and sullenly trudged to the kitchen. He was probably right, after all. With the water turned all the way to the cold setting, she leaned under the faucet to lick up at least a glass's worth of water. It didn't seem to help her headache at all, but she considered it enough of an accomplishment to justify crawling back under the covers.

She woke up what must have been another eight hours later, feeling roughly a hundred times better. Somehow, she stumbled through the pitch-black to the light switch. The clock above her stove told her that it was ten at night—not exactly the conventional time to get up and start getting ready for anything, but Aiko couldn't be bothered to care.

"The store will still be open," she muttered to herself, shoving her feet into her boots and tucking the loose edges of Kakashi's pants inside. "Probably, anyways."

As it turned out, it closed for the night at 11:30, so she rushed through her list of what she would need for dinner the next night, as well as other household items she had forgotten about. Bless their hearts, Sasuke and Naruto had agreed to haul over the two couches she had held at the furniture store sometime in the afternoon, and she'd hoped to be mostly done with everything else that needed to be done.

Once she had all her groceries put away, she finally tackled the piles of junk in the front room, unrolling the gold-colored rug that would cover most of the floor. Painstakingly, she dragged the furniture Naruto had helped her carry over into place, putting the little table in the kitchen and the three side tables on top of the rugs, leaving space for the squooshy blue couches she'd ordered. They were empty now, but she dutifully put the vases Ino insisted were a vital part of home decoration on all available surfaces.

The night passed much the same way—she dug out enough quarters to toss all her packed clothes in two of the washers downstairs, made bread dough from scratch, and made several silent trips back and forth between her old room and her bedroom clutching whatever she could hold to put around the house. As it turned out, it didn't seem very different at all to Hiraishin while she wrapped her arms around her dresser than it had when she used it alone.

'I am the laziest piece of shit there ever has been and ever will be,' she thought with some amusement as she used her most powerful technique in order to get her dresser in just the right position. Oh well. When it was clean, she shucked Kakashi's clothes and pulled on black slacks and a long-sleeved shirt from her packed laundry, tossing the loose clothes she'd used as pajamas onto her bed for now.

Bang.

Aiko jumped a little, already halfway to the front room where she'd heard the door slam open. 'Did I really forget to lock it after Yukimasa came by? I slept with the apartment unsecured?'

Not that locks were really much of a deterrent for shinobi, but still. That unnerving thought aside, she relaxed a little when she saw it was only her old housemates, led by Naruto. "Er, good morning," she tried, giving a reflexive glance at the covered windows and making a guess.

Karin gave her a grumpy look. "It might have been, if someone's chakra signature wasn't driving me nuts all damn night by popping in and out of the house. Did you leave your window open or something? It's not like you couldn't come and get your stuff during the day."

"Oh. Right," she said a bit sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I didn't think I'd be keeping you up."

Her brother pushed his way into the apartment, rolling his eyes at the bickering redheads. "Be grumpy later, you two. Didn't you have something to ask Aiko about?" The three girls glanced at his back for a minute as he made a bee-line for the kitchen and started digging around for something.

"Tea is to the left of the sink," Aiko called over her shoulder.

Naruto gave a sleepy grunt in return. "I was hoping for coffee, actually."

She scrunched up her forehead. "Uh, I think the grounds are on top of the fridge." Then she cringed at the sound of something crashing to the floor.

"Found it!" he called back cheerfully.

Hinata shuffled uncomfortably, drawing Aiko's attention back to the other girls. Suddenly, she thought she knew why this exact group was on her doorstep when she'd only been expecting Naruto to come by early to help. They'd been invited, but Karin and Hinata hadn't seemed inclined to come to team dinner when they were already invited to Naruto's silly 'family' dinner two days later.

'Methinks I know what this is about.'

Keeping her thoughts off her face, Aiko gave an apologetic smile. "Sorry there's nowhere to sit." She collapsed cross-legged on the rug and patted the floor beside her. "I'm a poor hostess, I know."

"It's fine," Hinata demurred quietly, coming to sit on the rug as well. Karin settled, making them into a rough triangle.

"We came to ask you a favor," Karin said abruptly. "Just hear me out, okay? I thought that we should finally make Hinata an official member of the family and offered to adopt her in. I didn't think it was going to be a big deal, but it turns out they we're running into a paperwork problem because that would mean we'd have too many ninja in one family and we're supposed to declare as a clan, which sounds easy but even though I'm the oldest I'm told that I don't have the authority to make that decision and that you'd have to agree to take a council seat or something and-"

"That's fine," Aiko finally interrupted, wanting to cut Karin off before she ran out of air. "What do you need me to do?"

Karin and Hinata exchanged mildly incredulous looks, as though they hadn't expected this conversation to be particularly easy. "Ano, you'd have to fill these out." With a sigh, Aiko took the papers from Hinata's hand and started scanning them over.

The only problem she had with this was that sharing her last name could come back to bite Hinata in the ass when it inevitably got out that Aiko was a Hiraishin user. 'The least I can do is get a tag on Hinata so I can keep an eye on her,' Aiko decided. But… she'd already promised Tsunade that she wouldn't tell anyone else in the meantime.

She shrugged off any guilt at the solution that occurred. If she gave Karin and Hinata a safe version of the seal, they wouldn't be likely to suffer adverse effects from association with her. When Hiraishin became public knowledge, she could apologize. Until then… well. Aiko just had to be able to touch them for an instant, somewhere they wouldn't generally be looking while channeling chakra, in order to leave a hidden seal.

"Got a pen or something?" Aiko asked absently, not really that absorbed in what she'd been reading. The paperwork wasn't so bad. Without looking to see who'd offered it, she uncapped the pen, stuck the lid between her teeth, and set about signing and dating on various lines, as well as writing Uzumaki as the prospective clan in the clearest handwriting she could manage at the top. "What about the adoption form?" When it was proffered, she went about copying the information that had been filled in on the rejected form and authorized it with her signature. "There you go. You can drop that off, right?"

Karin nodded dumbly. "Well, that was easier than anticipated."

Aiko shrugged. 'I would have eventually said yes even if Tsunade hadn't told me to. Hinata would have to have red hair to be more qualified to be an Uzumaki. Kami only knows she's stubborn enough to fit in.' She didn't say that, of course. "Why would I say no? Hinata's basically family already. If some stupid paperwork makes it official, I'd have to be really lazy to put it off."

"R-right," Hinata blinked, looking down. It was a gesture she hadn't seen in a while, so Aiko frowned.

'I probably shouldn't call her out on it. This is a much bigger deal for her than it is for me.' She felt almost a little bad for being so nonchalant about something that affected the other girl on a profound level. 'I'm kind of an asshole,' Aiko sighed. 'I was only thinking about this in terms of what it would do for me with that stupid council thing.'

Feeling uncomfortable, she leaned over to give Hinata a one-handed hug across the shoulders… surreptitiously planting a Hiraishin tag on the back of her neck as she did so.

'One down, one to go…' How hard could it be to touch Karin before they left?

"Right." Karin fidgeted, looking between the other two. "Do… Do you need any help with your apartment?"

"That could be nice," Aiko agreed gratefully. "I was thinking I wouldn't worry about much beyond what had to happen to make the front rooms habitable."

Karin nodded knowledgably, hauling herself up to her feet and poking around the apartment. "What are you doing with the spare room?"

"No idea," she snorted honestly, following to peer at the room that was probably intended as a second bedroom. "Maybe it'll be Mitsuo's?" That reminded her… "By the way, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm instigating a 'no snake' policy in the apartment. They drive the dogs nuts."

"Fair enough," Hinata chimed in, leaning against Karin's side. Aiko casually brushed against her cousin's side, tapping her hip and giving it just a kiss of chakra. There, done.

The taller redhead nodded distractedly. "Yeah, it's your house. So. Were you thinking about going on a run for household stuff you'll need? I'll contribute, a lot of the stuff at the house was yours originally."

"That'd be nice," Aiko agreed, running her hand through her loose, slightly tangled hair. "I have towels and shower stuff, but I'll need dish and hand soap, as well as more laundry supplies. House shoes, too, for…" She trailed off, making a face. "A lot of people," she concluded sullenly, looking at the redhead who would definitely not be party to shared house shoes.

"Flowers for those vases," Hinata chimed in, looking around the room. "And at least one rug for the entryway."

"One for under the window," Karin added. "Kami only knows that she's not going to stop doing that."

"And I think I've been relegated to carrying heavy things," Naruto added tolerantly, face nearly hidden behind an enormous mug giving off steam.

"What else are you qualified for," Karin shot back with a smirk. "It's not like even Aiko would want you to pick out decorations."

"I like orange," Aiko chimed in mildly. "And Naruto's taste is just fine."

Karin's hand hit her face. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." The twins gave her a rare, mirrored smile.

While the girls went on a grocery run, Naruto wandered off to harass Sasuke into helping move bookcases across town. He was definitely not pleased about it, but somehow he'd been bullied into manual labor, as Aiko noted when she came back hauling the decorative pillows that were apparently essential.

"We're leaving your movies at the other house, right?" Sasuke cut in before anyone could say anything else.

"Yeah, not much point in moving them when I don't have a tv in here," Aiko noted, dropping the pillows on the floor with a whumph. "Can we go get the couches now?"

After all the work that went into it, dinner went surprisingly smoothly. By team seven standards, anyway. Mostly that meant there wasn't a single Akatsuki in sight or a hint of political intrigue. Unfortunately, there were inter-team problems. Naruto and Sasuke just never left, instead settling down to wrestle and argue in the front room. Naruto seemed a bit flustered and uncomfortable when Yamato showed up, but hell didn't really break loose until Sai showed up at the exact time he had been told to.

"Nyah, who the hell is this guy?" Naruto pointed rudely, smirking slightly. "He looks like slightly less girly than Sasuke. Did you get that cut-off shirt from Ino-san's closet?" He got an elbow to the gut for that one from Sasuke, but he really didn't understand his mistake.

'It's not a good idea to show even a hint of hostility or weakness around Sai,' Aiko noted. Yamato seemed to have had a similar thought. He had perked up and was watching as intently as she was. They weren't disappointed. Sai tilted his head slightly, plastered on a face smile, and addressed his next words to the room at large.

"I see, you must be Naruto. I didn't realize Dickless's girlfriend was this ugly." He swiveled to look at Aiko, managing to miss the way Sasuke turned faintly green and Naruto flushed red. "Is Ugly Girlfriend a good nickname?"

"That's a great one," she agreed gamely, ignoring Naruto's betrayed expression. "Tea?"

Aiko ended up having to play peacekeeper all night, with a half-hearted assist from Yamato who seemed to be out of his depth. The two of them probably spent too much time glancing at the door and wondering where Kakashi was, but no one else seemed to notice. Sasuke and Naruto had managed to mostly unite against the new threat. Sai, on the other hand, was clearly getting irritated with the constant inexplicable hostility. His barbs got sharper and sharper in an attempt to regain the dynamic he'd expected to have with Sasuke, but Naruto took them as a personal offense and squirmed in on what had worked relatively well with just the two of them.

'Boys are so dumb sometimes.' Yamato gave her a slightly frantic expression, as if totally lost for words or ideas on how to curtail what had somehow evolved into a three-way eating contest. Of course, Sai was cheating with ink mice carrying away rice and vegetables when the other two looked away, leaving them completely infuriated and baffled as to how he was keeping up while calmly and politely eating.

She just shrugged, indicating that she didn't know what to do either.

Situation will improve in future, she signed lazily in ANBU standard. It wasn't meant for conversation, but it could do in a pinch. Sai's sharp eyes seemed to catch the motion, but he didn't comment. Yamato's response was a rather doubtful, optimal outcome.

"Perhaps we should help washboard clean up," Sai interrupted, putting down his bowl and chopsticks.

Aiko had a sudden vision of Sai and Sasuke finally coming to blows using chopsticks while Naruto tossed plates at them.

Naruto gave him a baffled expression. "Washboa-" Blue eyes widened when Aiko gave a little wave as if to say, that's me. "Right," he said weakly.

"Don't ask," Sasuke murmured, elbowing him.

"Ah, I appreciate the offer, Sai, but I think that five people are too many to work in one kitchen."

Yamato nodded. "Why don't you boys have a team training exercise?" The three teenage boys stiffened, eying each other like alley cats. "Might work off some steam," he muttered not-quietly-enough to Aiko. She snorted.

"Right," Sasuke said decisively, climbing to his feet. "Thank you for dinner, Aiko-san," he stressed, pointedly looking at Sai as if to make a point about what he should use to refer to others. Sai stared back placidly. "I think Yamato's idea is excellent."

"Training ground six!" Yamato hollered after the boys. Then he looked at Aiko and flushed. "Ah, is it okay to leave you with the clean-up? I didn't think that through. The boys should probably be supervised so they don't kill each other, but I didn't mean-"

"Am I late?"

"Yes," they answered in unison without turning to look at Kakashi. He was probably pouting.

"I put a plate away for you," Aiko clarified, remembering just what a mess the boys had made of the front room.

"Maa, it's fine." He ambled into the room, closing the door that Naruto had left swinging behind him. "I'm not hungry. You see, I-"

"You suck," Aiko said bluntly, raising an eyebrow. "How is it team dinner if the one person who connects everyone else doesn't show up? This is your team."

He gave a sheepish smile, ruffling his hair. "Don't be like that. You see, I was doing some house-cleaning."

"Were you," Yamato said flatly, expression implying he thought that was a filthy lie.

Kakashi nodded, looking genuine. "And I realized I couldn't do my laundry. You see, I wash once every seven days, and I have eight sets of clothing. So I really need those back."

Aiko flushed, but Yamato looked like he was questioning Kakashi's idiotic story. She could hear the conversation as she hurriedly crossed the room to snatch his clothes off her bed.

"That doesn't make sense, senpai," Yamato argued. If she knew his body language at all, the tone meant that he'd just crossed his arms. "Wouldn't that mean you had seven outfits?"

She stalked back into the room, the clothes under her arm in an awkward bundle.

Kakashi was giving Yamato a look that implied he was an idiot when she came to stand beside him. "I suppose I don't know what you two do, but I wear clothes when I do my laundry," Kakashi drawled.

Yamato reddened, back stiffening like his spine had just been replaced with an iron rod. "I. Ah. Buh-" He cleared his throat. "What's that look for?" he managed to squeak.

Aiko assessed the situation with a quick glance, holding the clothes out for Kakashi to take. "He's wondering if we really do our laundry naked and that's why it didn't occur to us that he'd need those back in order to do his laundry every seven days." Her superior officer stiffened uncomfortably. "Now he's picturing it." Kakashi's lone eye twitched, and he avoided looking at them while he made a hasty grab for the clothes. "Now he's remembered how young I am, and is about to flee," she concluded easily. She didn't even get to finish talking before he'd disappeared in a shock of crispy leaves, fluttering to her wooden floor.

Slowly, Yamato turned to give her a mildly impressed look. "How'd you do that?"

"I've worked with him for years," she pointed out mildly. Plus, the power of suggestion. Even if he hadn't been thinking that, he certainly had when she'd pointed out the train of thought.

"Hey, wait," Yamato breathed, sounding a bit put-out. "What's so terrible about picturing me naked that made him run off?"

'Absolutely nothing,' Aiko thought. 'I bet it's a nice view.'

But they didn't have the kind of dynamic where she would move to reassure him about something like that. So instead, she pulled her features into an incredulous sneer that implied she'd just smelled something foul and gave him a pointedly slow up-and-down. Then she turned away without a word and left Yamato to the fit of self-consciousness that would undoubtedly spur. He sputtered incomprehensibly for a moment before he too left.

"Well." Aiko heaved a sigh, looking at her messy apartment. "That could have gone better." She blinked down wetness rising in her eyes. Somehow, she'd imagined that this would be more enjoyable and less stressful.

'Maybe beating each other up is what they need to learn to get along,' she hoped. 'and Kakashi will show up next time.'

That really had been disappointing. Granted, he wasn't a very sociable person, but she had thought he would know that he had been wanted there. He was just an ex-teacher to Naruto and Sasuke, and a temporary captain to Sai, but she and Yamato both considered him a friend. Glumly, she stacked dishes and began putting away the few leftovers that had escaped the purge.

 

Kakashi took a deep breath, unspeakably relieved to be in the comfort of his own apartment and not around subordinates who insisted on talking about being naked. That conversation had not gone exactly as planned. He really had intended to come to that dinner, but he wasn't used to time-sensitive engagements. No one had made him go and behave at things like that in a very long time.

Then he paused in his thoughts, lips turning into a slight frown. He gave another sniff, nose twitching. "What the…" Kakashi trailed off, lifting the clothes in his arms to confirm that they really did smell like Aiko. He shifted uncomfortably.

They didn't smell like clothes that had sat around unwashed for weeks. They smelled like they had been washed with her sickly-sweet detergent… and then she had re-worn them. Recently, too, and quite a lot. As pajamas, perhaps? Uncertainly, he balled the clothes up and tossed them onto the table.

Was that normal?

It was one thing for him to lend a comrade equipment or assistance on a temporary basis during a mission gone wrong. However embarrassing it was, things like that happened all the time.

It seemed like something else entirely for someone to apparently want to wear his things when there was no need. As a child, Aiko had always been physically affectionate, but she had withdrawn significantly in the past months and he had assumed she no longer desired that sort of reassurance from him. She was an adult now, one who didn't need his constant protection. Why else would she seek out reminders of him?

The safest course of action would be to avoid thinking about this. There was probably a good reason.

'I'll try to be less late next time,' Kakashi decided, dropping the first line of thought like it was a poisonous lizard. However odd it was, Aiko and Tenzou did seem to want him around. If eating their food and then fleeing would make them happy, he might as well give it a try.

 

Unprofessionally slumped against the wall in one of the painfully bland conference rooms in Hokage tower, Kakashi did his best to avoid noting the strangely uncomfortable atmosphere. He really wasn't sure why Tenzou kept giving him wounded looks, but his kohai apparently didn't feel like saying anything. He shrugged it off. It mustn't be important.

"I suppose it's time to call Aiko on over?"

Tenzou gave a sullen shrug, all but pouting.

His expression was openly conveying confusion, but Kakashi didn't dare ask. Some things were better left unsaid, though he didn't know why a mention of Aiko would apparently irritate Tenzou further. He pulled out the cold metal of his tagged kunai and lazily washed it in some of his chakra.

A half-second later, he was blinking down at a tousled head of reddish-hair attached to a rather short person in the same conservative black outfit as yesterday. Aiko yawned, flashing white teeth. "Hey, guys." Her gaze flickered to Tenzou, and amusement danced in her eyes.

As if in slow motion, he noted Tenzou scowl, finally pushed past whatever bit of self-restraint had been keeping him from a temper tantrum.

"You two hurt my feelings, you know," the younger man pouted.

It was sort of adorable, but he had no fucking idea what Tenzou was talking about. "Huh?"

"I would too look great doing laundry naked!" He hissed, hackles rising and eyes wide. Kakashi recoiled. 'I don't know what is going on, but I want no part of it,' he thought a little desperately.

A cough broke into their conversation, and slowwwly the two men turned to see the opened door that Aiko was already gazing at with a blanked expression.

"Thank you Yamato, for providing that thought to brighten up my work day," Tsunade drawled, raising one impeccably neat eyebrow at the ANBU. He meekly cowered, appearing to do his best to hide behind Aiko. It wasn't very effective.

At least the Suna ambassador seemed to be enjoying herself, even if the Kazekage looked a bit nonplussed by it all. "Hey, Gaara," she said in an undertone. "Can I borrow some money?"

Kakashi's ears perked up. Was this going where he thought it wa-

"Enough to commission a D-class mission," she whispered. Obediently, the Kazekage dug into his pocket and carelessly deposited a pouch into her hand.

"What for?" he murmured lowly. Kakashi's lips twitched.

"I'll explain later," the blonde whispered back, giving Tenzou a predatory look. Tsunade, who was definitely within hearing range, looked very amused by the exchange.

"I think we can get back to negotiating subcontracts and mission exchanges later," the Hokage interjected, sounding for all the world as if she was referencing something much more professional than what his ears were telling him. "Gaara-san, you remember Aiko-chan? I'm sorry to surprise you like this, but I didn't want to discuss this in the open. Your seal needs to be replaced."

"Your Hiraishin seal," Aiko clarified, giving Tsunade an inappropriately dirty look. The Suna nin, who had tensed at what seemed like a reference to Shukaku, relaxed. "Can I see the kunai I gave you before?" As the male teen passed it over, she unconsciously tossed her hair over a shoulder. Kakashi wrinkled his nose as the motion sent a fluttery wave of her shampoo's scent into his face. "Thank you. Apparently, this version," (Kakashi suppressed a wince at the careless way she waved the kunai pointy-end-out) "is inefficient and that's why it taxed me to go straight to Suna. I want to give you two copies—one that's like this one," she explained easily. As she talked, her fingers lit up with blue chakra and she gave an odd little pluck at the seal, lifting the implanted chakra web up entirely and balling it up before tossing it over her shoulder.

It was a good thing no one was looking at him, because he wasn't hiding his surprise. When had Aiko learned to do that?

The actual seal looked completely unaffected, but he could tell that the lingering ink was devoid of the spiritual energy that had powered it. Almost lazily, the new Jounin pressed two fingers against the wrapped paper and let a pulse of chakra out that settled into the old seal paper.

"This one is functional, but it's something of a decoy," Aiko explained, handing it back. "So don't worry too much about keeping it secret. Akatsuki already knows Konoha has a Hiraishin user, so if they come for you again they will certainly look to take it from you. With your permission, I'd like to put one directly on you. It'll be invisible except when you channel chakra, so it should be somewhere that won't normally show."

Tenzou shifted uncomfortably. It might have been the conversation, or it might have been the unblinking way that the Suna kunoichi was staring at his abs with a contemplative mien. Understandable. His virtue could be in danger

"I see." The Kazekage didn't even hesitate. "I will allow it."

He felt his eyebrows shoot up. Really? That was it? Allowing someone else to put a seal on you was pretty dangerous. Perhaps he'd misjudged Aiko's decision to give the Kazekage one in the first place, if he really trusted her this much.

"Thank you," Aiko replied briskly, holding her index and middle fingers together as she raised her hand as if she expected to give him the chakra tattoo right there and then. "Take your shirt off."

Suddenly, the room was silent, still, and awkward. The girl rolled her eyes. "I did say it should go somewhere out of sight," she pointed out practically. "That means under your clothes. I suppose if you prefer you could take off your pants…" Aiko trailed off pointedly.

Tsunade looked like she was on the verge of evil cackling. "Why don't we give you two a bit of privacy?" She jerked her head at the door that connected the conference room to the attached kitchen, ignoring the closed door to the hall. "You can undress in the kitchenette, Gaara-san."

He cringed.

'I don't want to know,' Kakashi reminded himself, staring up at the ceiling and doing his very best not to hear rustling and Aiko's whispered conversation from the other room. At least the Kazekage's low rumbles were completely incomprehensible. When they returned a few minutes later, interrupting the stilted conversation that had erupted, Aiko looked satisfied and the Kazekage looked ruffled.

"Well, I suppose I'd better be going. Take care, you guys." Aiko raised a hand in a half-hearted goodbye and then was gone. He might have thought she'd been practicing her shunshin or substitution technique if there had been any debris at all.

 

Omake

'This makes two kage that I've reduced to eye candy,' Aiko thought, giggling on her floor the instant that she'd managed to escape. 'Maybe I should get a matching tattoo of Gaara. He'd like to be objectified on my back, right?'

She took a moment to picture it- he would be draped artfully in red silk, jaw tilted up, sand trickling down his body as he slouched with legs akimbo on a desert dune.

'Oh god. It must be done.'

She paused contemplatively. 'and maybe Terumi Mei with lava covering her naughty bits?' Aiko worried her lower lip between two teeth. 'I should ask Yukimasa if he'd want to continue the series with me. It can be our team thing.'

But that would be it. She didn't want the Raikage or Tsuchikage tattooed anywhere on her. Not unless their villages updated with newer, cuter models.


	65. Chapter 65

"ANBU Butterfly. You've been summoned."

Aiko jerked, one hand pulling her sheet further up and the other fisting around the handle of the kunai under her pillow. Boar's mask hovered above her in the darkness, the pale curve illuminated from one side by the trickle of moonlight coming in her window. It looked unusually demonic—the red mouth pulled into a high sneer, and the eyes appeared as impenetrable sinkholes.

'Is he really allowed to actually enter my apartment? It would have been faster to wake me with a knock at the window. He must have put more effort into getting in without waking me than he would have to do what he was supposed to.' she realized, wide-awake and mildly alarmed. It seemed… unnecessarily aggressive. The move was a show of power and ability. Boar was better than her traps and senses, and he wanted her to know that.

Creeptastic. Still, orders were orders. "Understood. I will require two minutes." She didn't wait for him to leave or worry about modesty, throwing off the covers and hurrying to unzip the sealed bag with her ANBU equipment. Usually she preferred to wear shorts and a tanktop underneath, but she pulled the sleeveless shirt and baggy pants on directly over the sports bra and boyshorts she had been sleeping in, sparing only a grimace that she didn't have time to bind her chest.

'Better tighten the armor a notch, or I'm going to be hurting later,' she noted grimly. She might have taken the less time consuming but still effective solution of putting a regular bra on under her sports top, but Boar didn't appear to be moving. 'Where the hell does he think I'm going to go if he turns around? Fish will wait.'

Even as she thought that, Aiko knew she was lying to herself. Fish hadn't sent Boar to summon her. Someone else had. Her heart was already pounding. As much as this was dangerous and idiotic… it would also be a challenge. She loved mind games. Mainly, she liked picking them apart

Bantering with Kakashi couldn't possibly compare to matching wits with a man like Danzo. From both her prior knowledge and Tsunade's warnings, every indication was that he was completely fucking brilliant. A power-hungry extremist, yes. It was hard to claim that he was Miss Congeniality when he was wandering around with a dozen stolen wiggly-eyes in his arm (even aside from the disaster that would make the swimsuit competition). Consistently out-maneuvering and out-classing someone called 'The God of Shinobi' without anyone else catching on for decades wasn't something that happened by accident. He was… sort of cool, with or without the effervescent personality. Frankly, he might have made a better Kage. Maybe he'd settle down into less lunatic hobbies if he had the power he was chasing.

That last bit stopped her for a moment.

'Dangerous thoughts,' she chided herself. 'Let's just hand the homicidally insane man the power he craves because he has excellent rhetoric and political aptitude. That worked out well for Germany… China… Russia. Like, pretty much every country at one point or another. Yeah, that holds together. I may not start a fan club, but Danzo is a man I could learn from. Unless Tsunade has been hiding some sort of elite task force in her bra for thirty years, I don't know who el-' 

She paused. Now there was some food for thought. 'I should mount an expedition to investigate.'

Click.

Aiko glanced over in the middle of shoving her feet into boots to see that Boar had just now unlocked her window… meaning he had gotten in another way and gone through her apartment. On second thought, that was both creepy and made sense. He'd have a hard time fitting through the frame with those monster shoulders. He turned slowly to stare, forcing her to hurry even faster.

"I'm ready," she announced briskly, forgoing her usual tight braid for a messy bun and extra pins in her wig.

Boar grunted and shoved her window open with a tiny, frustrated squall of wood against wood. The intimidating effect was slightly undermined by the undignified way he had to squirm for a moment to fit through the available space, but she didn't have time to snicker before they were sprinting across rooftops… and not going to a rendezvous location she recognized.

A glance at the skyline confirmed that it was somewhere in the witching hour or thereabouts. A coincidence, or an intentional parallel meant to illustrate ANBU's darker implications?

'It's probably just my imagination. Don't be so theatrical,' Aiko scolded herself.

Nonetheless, she did feel a creep of unease up her spine, manifesting as hyper-awareness. That state of alert served her well. Despite what seemed to be an attempt to get her disoriented by taking a circuitous route, Aiko was certain that she could re-locate the specific tree that Boar powered through to reveal a man-hole hidden by the best genjutsu she'd ever walked through. It prickled and pulled at her senses as she followed him down, creating the odd and unpleasant simultaneous perception of looking at an underground entrance hidden in a training ground and a very solid piece of flora. She just barely caught sight of a little pink nose poking out of a well-hidden rabbit warren in the instant before she grimaced and closed her eyes on the first few steps.

"You will not speak out of place." Boar's voice echoed oddly in the narrow tunnel that led straight down. From her position on top of him on the cold metal ladder, Aiko indulged in rolling her eyes. How cliché. Someone really liked to set the atmosphere. "You will treat Danzo-sama with the proper respect. Noncompliance with be punished severely."

It didn't seem like he wanted an answer. That was fine. He'd given her plenty of information. She heard him jump the rest of the distance, and waited a few moments herself while he moved before lithely copying. Completely blind as she was, Aiko took the safe route of landing in an exaggerated crouch to save strain on her joints. They'd only fallen something like fifteen feet straight down, however. Not so bad. Circe du-Soleil performers routinely did more drastic stunts, so a chakra-using ninja properly trained in how to fall had no problem.

A hand gripped her shoulder. It wasn't Boar's—his hand was twice that size. She reacted by snatching the wrist and twisting, positioning herself behind the relatively lean, petite body, placing the pads of her fingers against her assailant's spine in a clear warning. She didn't particularly appreciate being touched in the dark by unknown persons, but nor was she sure she could react with lethal force. The exchange took less than a second.

'I spy an opportunity,' Aiko noted. It took less time to set a trapped Hiraishin seal on the back she was touching than it did for the thought to occur. That was good, because she didn't have time for another thought before a hand that definitely was Boar's snatched her by her throat and lifted her entirely, crushing her body into a wall. She seized up, not even trying to breathe. In this position, he could easily crush her larynx. If she felt even the slightly hint of added force…

"I said to behave," he said shortly. "This person will be your guide."

She controlled her breathing, not letting herself gasp audibly when Boar's monstrous paw released her to the ground, and obediently turned to face the figure she could smell but not see in the dark.

Now that no one was surprising her or tossing her around… well. That was a scent she knew.

The previous incident was tucked away to deal with later (or not, possibly) and instead Aiko trailed after intentionally light footsteps. Intentionally audible, that was. They would have been silent under normal circumstances. It was hard to gauge time and distance—she hadn't thought to count steps, and she was probably being led around multiple paths and through traps and genjutsu. The acoustics began to change slightly, as did the elevation of their path so that they were walking up an incline instead of down. For all she knew, they weren't even within Konoha's city limits anymore.

'Light,' she registered. It wasn't much, but there was ambient light seeping out from beneath the doors that they were passing. Her guide led her through one such dimly-lit room and gave a perfunctory knock on a closed door. Her eyes had adjusted enough that she could see the slim outline of the boy guiding her—and she was sure it was a boy about her own age. He was slim and graceful, but few girls had shoulders quite that broad without hips to match.

Of course, she'd known that already without any light at all. Aiko allowed herself to give an ironic smile to Sai underneath her mask. Honestly, like she wouldn't smell his ink just because he'd left it at home and washed his clothes. The unique chemical blend had been soaked into his fingertips so many times that he would have to slough the skin to completely erase the scent.

It was good to be underestimated, though. They'd clearly taken her abilities and training into account, but either didn't know what scent tracking implied or had underestimated Kakashi's perfectionism. Perhaps they intended to strategically surprise her by revealing Sai's identity later to put her off-balance, or see if she reacted in a way that implied she already knew his identity. If that was the case, then she should pretend to be surprised, or else might give up the fact that Tsunade had already taken her into confidence. Then again, it could be a test of her abilities and pretending not to know it was Sai would make Danzo think she was incompetent. The last possibility that occurred to her that it wasn't a test for her at all—it was a way for Danzo to get a second opinion by keeping the person who would theoretically know her best close by to use as a reference. Possibly he would listen in on their conversation.

The only safe response was no response. Whatever they were looking for, she wouldn't give it to them. That might frustrate Danzo, but he wouldn't give up either. Actually, he might be looking for agents who kept a sharp poker face.

Whatever he was looking for, it included the categorization 'vulnerable'. If she had been a real teenager, she would stand no chance against a man like this. No matter the intellect, a teenager just didn't have the experience to deal with a master manipulator. She might not, either, despite her hidden advantages.

"Come in."

She'd never heard Danzo speak before, but that faint wheeze could certainly belong to him. It sounded like an affectation made by healthy lungs. Then again, she might be making judgments based on what she already thought she knew. Perhaps he really was too infirm to breathe properly.

Sai backed away, implying that she should go in alone. Probably wasn't supposed to risk stepping into the light. She felt the cheeky urge to wave at him, but suppressed it. This wasn't the place to impress or irritate with attitude. These people took themselves far too seriously.

The door she pressed open buzzed with chakra at her touch, probing invasively. It was probably recording her signature. She suppressed both a grimace and the reflex to spark back and cancel the seal that carried the technique. It was probably too strong to overload like that, and trying would endear her to no one. Her eyes burnt a little at the sudden change in lighting: this room was cozy, lit by several low lanterns and boasted exactly two chairs.

She wasn't fool enough to sit without invitation. A quick analysis of the room's other visible inhabitant confirmed her suspicion.

If he had investigated her at all, he would know that she should recognize him on sight. There was no point in feigning unfamiliarity. Doubtlessly, his Root ANBU would greet him with a full bow and he was used to that deference even out and about in the village. So, in order to position herself in the way she wanted…

Aiko came to stand in front of him and gave an exact, correct incline of just the neck with a locked back. This man was not her master. Pretending that she thought he was would be suspicious. Giving him no deference would be infuriating. She had to take the third path.

"Danzo-sama."

"Take that mask off, Aiko-chan." The old man looked like any retired shinobi or samurai. Granted, he seemed more beat-up than most, with crisp bandages wound around a good third of his body and the sturdy cane within easy reach. "I've heard interesting things about you, child."

'Subtle threat that he's been spying. Attempt to assert himself in hierarchy by citing age and therefore wisdom and experience. Rhetorical attempt to position himself as a grandfatherly figure to make me relax,' she catalogued instantly. In addition to all that, removing her mask would both make it more difficult for her to lie to him and put her in the awkward position of having to hold it, which would make her break out of her professional stance.

It was going to be that kind of conversation.

Aiko caught the "of course" that threatened to bubble up as she removed her mask. It would be safer to give this man nothing than to speak insincere platitudes. If he was as practical as she expected, he wouldn't appreciate the wasted time. The best way to deal with someone as intelligent and crafty as she feared he was would be not to lie at all. Her best weapon here would be strategic truths.

Danzo's face could have been carved from stone, but doubtlessly he'd just made his first judgment about her.

"How do you like your work?"

Well. That was a bizarrely inane beginning, although she thought she sensed where this was heading.

"Sir?"

'I can't engage too soon. I can't lie to him, can't give him the impression that I'm content with Tsunade, and I definitely can't seem too eager to share semi-traitorous thoughts. Talk about suspicious.'

The old man heaved a sigh, tapping stiff fingers against the side of his chair. "Have a seat." She did. "Don't be coy, child. You're a skeptic, a critic. You've been questioning Hiruzen's judgment and rebelling against academy teachers since you could write your name. You certainly did not learn discipline and respect at Sharingan no Kakashi's knee. Do not think to outfox me. You confided concerns to your teammate about the efficiency and sense behind one of Konoha's most important institutions. Do you stand by those remarks?"

'I did not expect such an aggressive beginning. That was a bit brutal.' 

Despite not being what she had anticipated, it was a turn of conversation Aiko welcomed. The brief moment of shock had drained the color from her cheeks. She looked sincere.

"I do," Aiko answered steadily. It wasn't even a lie. She did see severe problems with Konoha's administration. It was a bit of a fallacy to assume that the fact that she saw problems meant that she would agree with his solutions or even that she intended to have a part in fixing them.

Her strategy was much the way she would plan any argument, except with the opposite intention. When she would normally defend a claim with evidence in order to win someone over to her premise, here she would obscure her premise and use true evidence that happened to support his claim. Lying without lying.

"You do? How arrogant, to say such a thing to a man who has devoted many years of his life to Konoha's welfare."

That was meant to put her on the defensive—either force her to retract or qualify her statement (displaying weakness), or back her into a corner and allow her to prove that she was unworthy of his time by showing she was not fit to join his force. Of course, she could also falter under sudden pressure and show that she had no aptitude as a member of a black operations force or for intelligence work. None of those outcomes were acceptable.

Danzo was controlling because he felt others were not as competent or intelligent. A man like that needed two kinds of allies. He needed mindlessly obedient drones, which he obtained by systematically breaking vulnerable minds and building them up as he desired; and he needed workers who thought like he did but just not quite as well. He was a man who could only trust someone if he thought he understood every nuance of their personality, motivations, and likely actions… and could follow that through one step further than they could.

There was no chance that she could pass for a drone. So she had to make herself worth his time. If she didn't, she would probably wake up in the morning with a terrible headache and no idea that she'd failed her mission.

"The protocols in the detention facility are evidence of an attempt to be merciful and practical. Both aims are unsuccessful."

Blunt, without back-tracking, pandering, or insulting him. She had needed to show that she wasn't just prone to complaints—she could form, investigate, and articulate a thought that cut to the quick.

Danzo stared at her a second, as if waiting for her resolve to fade and prove that she was posturing. One side of his mouth curled up ruefully. "Cheeky brat." He gave a single, barking laugh that almost hurt her own throat in sympathy. "You are lucky that I am not a man who becomes displeased by inconvenient truths."

It was an effort not to grit her teeth together to hide her amusement at the unintentional reference. She kept her face slack, but a man like Danzo doubtlessly spotted the imperfections in her mien.

That was fine. He would want to think that she was at least a little shaken at the prospect of displeasing him. He had gone to such lengths to unnerve her, after all, what with the late-night summoning and theatricality. It would be a shame not to indulge him.

"You are correct, of course," he continued tonelessly, turning to stare at a piece of calligraphy wall art. "That prison is a mess. For years I had pushed Hiruzen to made needed changes. Unfortunate as his illness and retirement was, I admit that I hoped for a successor who would listen to wisdom when it was offered."

'Illness? What the hell is he talking about? That's an odd way to refer to injuries sustained from fighting Orochimaru.'

Danzo didn't clarify on that. She'd have to ruminate on that oddity later. The part she was meant to pick up on was the implication that…

"Tsunade-sama has no plans to simplify matters?"

He scoffed. "Plans? There are plans. There are no intentions." Scorn was evident in his tone even before he turned to glare resentfully at her, his one visible eye narrowed into a thin, wrinkled line. "You must have noticed Tsunade-chan is unsuitable for the position of Hokage."

'Tsu- Tsunade-chan? That's positively scathing. It's incredibly inappropriate for him to refer to the Hokage that way, no matter his comparative age.'

For one startling instant, it felt that his full ire was directed at her. A shiver ran up her spine, and her full attention was on just how dangerous the man she was playing games with really was. Even aside from his not-inconsiderable political influence, he had the physical superiority as well through his genetic augmentations. Tsunade could fight him. Jiraiya could. With assistance, Kakashi could as well.

She could not. Aiko could escape him if things went wrong, but that was it, and then he would know about her Hiraishin if he didn't already. He shouldn't know. But a man like that? A man with his own spy network in her own village?

Danzo could very well know already.

'He doesn't know it's modified and trapped,' she reminded herself, desperate for a small reminder of any sort of advantage on her side. Of course, seeing as the trap was based on his own seal work…

"I suppose you are pleased about gaining clan status," Danzo switched gears briskly.

Something unpleasant curled in her stomach. She didn't see the thread that connected those thoughts… which meant that she was stabbing blindly. But she had to say something. "It is my duty."

The black pool of his visible eye emerged slightly into visibility when he tilted his head, displacing the loose strands of hair that had been shadowing it. "Is it, now. You're not the least bit pleased about gaining a clan seat."

"No," she said bluntly. Always good to be able not to lie.

That really did seem to take Danzo off guard. She'd been right. He had some method of reading her that he felt confident in—perhaps something involving his hidden Sharingan, or a special seal, or even just plain old skill in discerning falsehoods through close observation. "Whyever not?"

"I have no interest in leadership."

Slowly, his brow raised. "Is that so." It wasn't a question, so she remained silent. "Perhaps you are suited to it, then." He reached out to curl his hand around the top of his gnarled cane, as if searching out comfort or something to do with his hands. "The concept of inheriting power is highly flawed. The suitability of one's father for leadership says nothing of the child."

"You're talking about Tsunade." She allowed her eyes to glide off his face, lifting her chin slightly as if in contemplation. "You feel that she became Hokage because of her familial connections and not her competency."

"Very good." When Aiko turned, it became clear that he was giving a faint smile. It wasn't actually amused. "Clever young thing. You cut well to the heart of matters," he continued, breathing in deeply and broadening his shoulders slightly. "Duty. Leadership is duty. Duty to the village's welfare first and above all other concerns. Do you not agree?"

"I agree," she concurred easily. 'That's certainly a viable definition of duty. Not my 'duty', but it's certainly 'duty'.

"Would you say your loyalty lies with the position of the Hokage, then?"

"If the Hokage serves those interests," she smoothly concurred. That would be what she would say in that situation, yes.

"And if the Hokage does not?" Danzo pronounced crisply, making the phrase more of a statement than a query.

"I would not presume to take the position of an advisor," she demurred. This was a bit of rhetoric she had anticipated. She hadn't been bothered by the change in administration, but he'd had Koharu and Homura in his corner. Hissy fit in three, two, one…

"Ha! What can then be done, when the Hokage is an impertinent fool who dismisses the wisdom of her elders?" Danzo half-growled, his voice a low rumble.

"Look to the wise."

There was silence, broken only by the faint wheeze of his breath. It wasn't entirely affected, she was certain now. Exaggerated, perhaps. But he really was infirm with age. No wonder he had gone in search of strength, however artificial. For someone who had chased power their entire life, the gradual creep of old age must be terrifying.

Danzo sighed, deflated and weary. The bags beneath his eyes looked even more pronounced when he let his face go slack. "Words that express more than they would seem to. I would like to continue this conversation tomorrow. I will have you brought here again."

'Wait. That's it?'

Confused, Aiko started for a second. She instantly regretted it—it was her first fuck-up of the night. She'd been doing so well, too. It would be stupidly optimistic to hope that Danzo didn't catch the slip in composure, even though he gave no visible reaction.

Once she'd collected herself, Aiko gave the same bow she had at the beginning and turned to leave. Was that- yes. A third ANBU had appeared instead of Boar or Sai.

'Oh well.' She re-fastened her mask over her face, not giving the room a backwards glance. That was an unsettling, confusing mess, and she was ready to be out of there.

The door swung shut, and the faint patter of light foot-steps faded. Danzo struggled to his feet without bothering to posture as he would in anyone else's presence. His right hand clenched tightly around the knob on his cane, but the left was raised slowly in a signal to the boy hiding in the shadows.

"Danzo-sama."

"Don't let her out of your sight." Danzo slowly closed his eye, focusing on shutting off the trickle of chakra he had been forcing to his hidden eye. "If she makes a motion towards the Hokage or anyone of political import, restrain her immediately and bring her to me. If the girl is a genuine candidate, bring her here tomorrow night."

"Hai." Sai inclined in a deep bow for a long second. In the next, he leapt to follow Uzumaki Aiko out into the darkness.

It was effortless to follow her through the tunnels, although the path she was led out through was not the one he had taken in. It was no matter. He was one of Danzo-sama's most valued subordinates. Sai had been raised in the darkness and knew these passages like Aiko knew the world above ground.

It was good that Washboard did not move to find anyone like the Hokage after she was brought to her home. The idea of taking her to Danzo-sama to have her mind forcibly sealed was not appealing in the least. Sai kept a careful distance. He had not missed the way that she had followed his movements in the dark—Washboard had been sensing his presence somehow. That ability had seemed to fade once he put some distance between them, as she had not looked at him once while he had listened to her conversation with Danzo-sama. At one point she closed her curtains, so he had to infiltrate her apartment with an ink beast and use it as a visual medium.

'Washboard has surprisingly poor security for a seals specialist,' he noted with a rare frown. He was unable to get quite close enough to hear what Washboard was saying as she fidgeted, paced from room-to-room, and did various menial chores, but more than once she seemed to be quietly moving her mouth. 'Why does she not go to sleep?'

Mildly perplexed, but not actually bothered, Sai settled down for the night on a nearby roof so that he could monitor her movements. As odd as it seemed, she was pacing from room to room, running her hands through her hair in some sort of nervous tick. Washboard had almost immediately shucked her ANBU gear in exchange for some rather baffling sleepwear. It seemed to serve no tactical purpose whatsoever—certainly not armor, and there was no possibility for weapon storage even when he squinted and attempted to give it the benefit of the doubt. Even worse, the garments were a powdery pink with obscene dots of sparkles. What kind of ninja gear could it possibly be?

Sai felt his face contort oddly. He was never going to understand Washboard. Sometimes she seemed so composed and capable like she had in Danzo-sama's presence. And then she did lunatic things like stay up all night in the safety of her own village, wandering her own home like a trapped animal and looking like she might cry at any moment.

He was glad for the distance. The thought made him uncomfortable. If she didn't know he was there, he would not have to deal with her illogical outbursts.

'Twenty-four hours. I need only watch her for twenty-four hours.'

Sai could do that.


	66. Chapter 66

Come morning, Aiko had managed to steady herself… as well as make plans to draw up some serious improvements to her home security. Root wanted to make the point that she wasn't safe within her own home? Fine then, she'd crisp their fucking fingers off if they so much as touched her property.

Of course, she would need a way to do that without endangering anyone who she wanted there… but she also couldn't give overrides into her security that would allow anyone to come back after they'd been tagged in. Aiko made a rather pathetic pout, since no one was there to judge her for it at the moment.

'I think I'm going to ask Yamato if we could move dinners to his place,' she mused. 'It would cut down on people needing access to my apartment.'

Was it odd to feel pain under your eyes when you were sleep-deprived? She felt like she was walking around with two black eyes (and couldn't stop rubbing at them), but a check in the mirror revealed nothing there. It was lucky that she'd had that sudden bout of vanity, because otherwise she wouldn't have known about the ugly hand-shaped bruise around her neck. Even better, she didn't think she had anything that could fix it. Aiko had exactly zero healing abilities, and she appeared to be out of the chakra-infused creams that could encourage minor surface injuries like that to heal.

"Jeeze, thanks a lot, Boar," she muttered sullenly, slamming the medicine cabinet with enough force to make the bottles inside rattle. "You make it so fucking easy to hide that I've been hanging out with your sissy club."

It obviously wasn't the type of bruise she would acquire during sparring, and it also wouldn't be easy to hide. The mark was positioned high enough that the natural movement of even her highest collars would give peeks of it as she moved. That would draw more attention than anything. She could slather makeup over it, but that would only lighten it and make it less obvious… and the smell would probably be like a flashing neon sign to Kakashi. She was severely tempted to just go to bed—there hadn't been any point in going back to sleep after being released from Danzo when she had to go to training in a few hours—but it was starting to look like going would raise questions.

Still, she had to face the music at some point. It would be too unusual to miss the scheduled practice this morning after Naruto had made such a big deal about her attending.

'I suppose I could claim I've been off having violent sex,' she thought with some amusement. That would probably get any concerned on-looker to drop the conversation.

Then again, Naruto might actually have cardiac arrest. That plan was a no-go.

"I'll wing it," she sighed, smearing on the makeup anyway and setting it with some powder. She covered her face as well. It didn't really look any different than it had before, but it would be less odd to have blended face makeup into her neck than just put makeup on her neck. "Maybe I could get Sasuke alone and ask him to take care of it before anyone else sees so I only have to lie to one person." Or just stay away from Kakashi, actually. Naruto and Sasuke were just not that observant about things like the scent of supposedly scentless makeup. Or hell, she could just claim that she woke up and wanted to look nice today. This was a stupid thing to worry about.

Of course, now that the idea of skipping practice to nap had been planted, it was hard to get out of her head. Somewhat resentfully, Aiko didn't delay heading out the door into what looked to be a balmy morning.

She had considered waiting until about the time that Kakashi would actually show up so that she didn't have to wait too long while self-consciously ducking her chin into her neck like a turtle, but that plan would out her little shadow when he inevitably had to trail in after her. That would be suspicious, but he couldn't leave her alone either. Poor silly Sai hadn't slept a wink all night, which made her certain that he was tailing her to be sure that she didn't do anything against Danzo. It made sense that they wouldn't want her to have much information at all before they judged her loyalty. It had been a stroke of good luck that she had tagged Sai last night—it was the only way that she could sense him. He was really fucking good at his job. That probably meant that if her tail had been someone else, she wouldn't even know that she was being watching.

For all she knew, she had more than one tail. If Danzo was thorough, he wouldn't count entirely on Sai. He almost certainly had at least one backup plan.

No matter what else she did, it was far too dangerous to report to Tsunade. The Hokage would not be happy about that delay when she did eventually debrief, but it wasn't like she really had any information of use yet anyhow. There was nothing to do but wait. Eventually, when she could be sure that she was alone, she could break off to make her report.

That plan would have been a better one if she know how to be totally certain that no one was watching. Aiko knew many tricks for hiding, but countering her own arsenal's weaknesses didn't seem to be enough to flush out Sai.

Not that she wanted to flush him out of hiding, exactly. If she knew where her tail was, she was safer than she would be while ignorant. And whatever problems her team might have with him, she was at least relatively certain that Sai didn't want to hurt her. He was developing an attachment. It was easy to see that the older boy had come to rely on her as a guide in social situations. She couldn't blame him—if he actually didn't understand that he was insulting people, it must be baffling to have such a hard time making polite conversation. His attempts to relate to other people's perspectives and fit in didn't even bear thinking about: she was probably the only person he knew outside of root who had any reason to pretend that his behavior wasn't off-putting.

Frankly, she was glad she'd chosen that route. Sai was more likely to make her laugh than make her angry lately.

It had been an enormous mistake on Danzo's part to ever let Sai leave the hidden program. It was one thing to be a loner or to display social ineptitude. Aiko was hardly the life of the party herself. She could plausibly see many ninja fitting that description managing to fulfill their missions. But Sai had no defense against the one major danger of infiltration missions: when a person wore a mask for long enough, it became their face. He had been wiped to such a blank slate that in an attempt to pretend to be functional, he was accidentally becoming somewhat human. If he had no identity to counter the façade he was learning, then he could hardly help but become the person he was impersonating.

She had already been seeing the signs: he displayed interest in other human beings in non-professional situations, started conversations unprompted, and occasionally something distinctly real flickered behind his mask, as if he was about to say something or react genuinely.

It wouldn't be hard to subvert him. He didn't have the skills to know when he was being manipulated with kindness, having been manipulated with cruelty all his life.

Perhaps that should be her next move. Gaining Sai on her side… that would be valuable. The fact that he was her tail implied that Danzo trusted him to be predictable and controllable. Danzo made the mistake of assessing him in a vacuum—as if his conditions hadn't changed so that something other than Sai's actions could become a factor. Most people were relatively consistent, so he could hardly be blamed.

"Hi, boys."

The three bickering teens gave her varying levels of disgruntled expressions. Inwardly, she applauded Sai for thinking to go slightly ahead of her. It introduced a small level of risk that she would change destinations mid-route, leaving her unobserved until he could correct his error, but it was worth it in order to give the impression that if anything, she was following him.

'He's a good tail. I wonder if he often has those sorts of missions?'

Outwardly, she scowled. "Oh, cheer up, you three. It's not that early."

"It's too early to deal with that jackass," Naruto mumbled. Of course, 'mumbling' for Naruto was something like regular talking for other people (only pitched lower than usual) so the sound carried just fine.

Sai tilted his head but said nothing.

'Thank you, Naruto. I can't imagine a way for you to be more helpful with my resolution to socialize Sai.'

"Naruto, that was rude." She frowned at him. "Does he really deserve to be called names?" It was an effort not to let her amusement show: Aiko was well aware of the irony in her words.

Sasuke wasn't even trying to hide his thoughts. She could tell. They were, 'She's finally cracked.' The sheer hypocrisy seemed to have momentarily broken him. Aiko narrowed her eyes at him, just daring the boy to say anything.

"Fancy seeing you here," Kakashi cut in dryly. As one, the group turned their heads up to see him sitting on a tree branch. He gave a heavy sigh, as if it really was an incredible bother to have to be present. Naruto was making a face that indicated he was having a hard time comprehending what he was seeing, and kept making quick glances at the sun as if to gauge the time. It was about ten minutes until they had agreed to meet. Which meant…

'I've never really noticed just how horribly contrary Kakashi is,' Aiko mused silently. Kakashi was either on time or using their training as an excuse to put off another engagement. It was hard to tell with him. He just looked disinterested and a bit sleepy, but for all she knew he was hiding glee at messing with their heads yet again. The man did have a strange fondness for playing with people in ways that left them unsure whether or not he'd done anything intentional. Generally, the best strategy was not to give him an entertaining reaction.

Then again, he really could just want to get the session over with. The way that he rattled off half-hearted orders seemed to corroborate that theory.

"Naruto, stop antagonizing Sai. Sasuke, wipe that smirk off your face. In fact, since Aiko showed up for once, why don't we switch things up?" He bent slightly, pushing off his branch and landing on the grass in a slight crouch. Then he yawned. "Instead of sparring, let's do a simulation. Naruto, you'll be leading Sasuke and I as a team in defense of a secured location. Sai and Aiko will be the enemy force. Your objective is to uproot us and secure the territory. Any techniques are permissible. Do you understand?" At the nods, he sighed and shifted his hips, looking bored to tears. "Alright. You two can re-enter the clearing in fifteen minutes."

"Be prepared to eat dirt!" Naruto hollered, hands held up around his mouth.

"And be prepared to eat dirt," the Jounin agreed docilely.

"Pfft, whatever," Aiko dismissed rudely, ruffling the back of her hair and turning away. "That's adorable, seriously. We'll play gently with you, but I'm not about to let you win."

It was a check she wasn't entirely sure she could cash, but she could hardly let the trash-talking pass without comment. Theoretically, Kakashi would only be interfering at such a capacity as to even the odds, and not actually trying to win. Hopefully. If not, they were totally boned.

"You want to be team leader?" she asked casually, cracking her neck and settling with her back against a tree several hundred meters away from where they'd left the others.

Sai deigned to glance at her. "That would be acceptable. Do you have any insight into the strategy that Ugly Girlfriend might employ?"

Aiko snorted. "He's going to trap the clearing and have Kakashi hunker down in their base while he and Sasuke engage us," she declared easily. Naruto would never miss out on the opportunity to spar. He had far too much energy. And Sasuke wanted to bash Sai's face in so much that it was just unhealthy. That boy was in desperate need of a chill pill. Why did he care if a male peer thought he wasn't especially virile? Shouldn't he only care about how people that he was attracted to rated his appeal? Unless he was put-out because he found Sai attractive…

A faint smile crept across her features.

'Oooh, good thoughts. Good thoughts suddenly occurred.'

Those were some pretty boys, after all.

"I see. Our real dilemma will be drawing out Kakashi-san, then." Sai let that statement hang in the air. The pause for an answer caught her wandering attention and drew her back to the real world.

"Which he probably has no intention of doing unless something goes horribly wrong," Aiko continued wryly, as if her focus had always been on Sai. She pursed her lips contemplatively. "You know, he didn't forbid that we seek out back-up. That might be our winning scenario. Other than that, we could force him to come out by getting a near-fatal injury, but it might not be worth it in a mock combat scenario."

"Yes," Sai agreed placidly, apparently unaware that she hadn't considered getting a near-fatal injury a viable strategy in the first place.

She made a mental note to stop expecting him to react to jokes. Despite knowing better, she had still somehow expected he would catch on.

'I spent too much time with witty people. The fact that Sai is generally intelligent doesn't seem to really affect his verbal intelligence.'

"I think that you assume that we cannot mitigate the disadvantage of our numbers prematurely, however. We both have clone capabilities and you have your hound."

"Kakashi is not going to fall for a clone," she pointed out with a little scorn.

"Ugly Girlfriend might, especially if he is distracted and separated from Dickless. To my knowledge, he does not have any extrasensory training that would allow him to discern that the technique was a distraction. In any case, both of them are head-on fighters and prefer to work in teams. It may not even occur to them that one of us would fail to be available to the other as backup when the mission did not explicitly require us to separate."

Aiko chewed on that thought for a moment. "As captain, do you want to engage their captain or their most powerful member?"

There were a couple ways that they could play this, depending on who was sent to flush out Kakashi. The most obvious would be to hide a clone (or group of clones) that would engage Kakashi after they had drawn away his reinforcements. That plan was just somehow lacking, though, even if he would likely be fighting on the lowest level to avoid hurting anyone.

 

Naruto could practically feel Sasuke's tenseness, despite the inches separating them. At least the bastard was interested—Kakashi-sensei was all but asleep on his feet. He spared a moment to glare at the older man. He could at least pretend to be interested in this exercise.

It was really weird to give Kakashi orders, though, even if it was just in training. He'd never led any sort of team before. Jiraiya had given him plenty of freedom and agency, but that just wasn't the same thing even if it did mean he was comfortable coming up with and enacting a plan.

Suddenly, the real world called in the form of a none-too-subtle rustle from the brush, as if someone was actually trying to draw his attention. Naruto had to roll his eyes. He wasn't so clueless that he needed her to make her presence that obvious. Still, his sister stood there, looking uncommonly smug. She had probably been pissed off by his claim that her team didn't stand a chance, but, you know, the truth is hard sometimes. All she had on her side was that dork in Ino's cut off shirt. Sai was probably going to be more of a handicap than a help. When he'd sparred with the pale jerk, all he'd used was ink beast after ink beast with a little bit of taijutsu. Bo-ring.

"I guess that's my signal." He crouched, ready to leap across the clearing and engage his target.

"What the…" Sasuke frowned, activating his Sharingan. Naruto jerked, turning to see the bit of forest that his teammate had been surveying. Then he blinked. Aiko was standing there, too.

'Of course,' he sighed. What a pain. The other two must have known that they had planned their strategy around who should engage whom. Sasuke had been chomping at the bit to get another chance to beat up the asshole, which had left Naruto with Aiko. He was more than prepared for that: the last time they had sparred, she had been miles ahead of him. But he'd spent two years training with the toad sage. If his sister thought she could beat him that easily -even with tricks- she was in for a surprise.

"Sasuke, which one is the real one?"

His forehead looked stupid when he crinkled it up like that. "They both seem to have Aiko's chakra signature. I can't tell. Is Sai a sensor type?"

"Ugh, figures," Naruto muttered darkly. Sasuke grunted in agreement. "Just pick one, then. Fifty percent chance that we'll get the right match-up, and we can switch if we guess wrong. They don't fight the same way at all. It won't take long to figure it out."

"Yeah, what a stupid ploy," Sasuke said, pitching his voice to carry. That taunt might have been enough to fake them out—but whoever the real Aiko was, she'd predicted Sai's reaction well enough to mimic it speedily enough that he didn't see which girl reacted first. Pity. "I'll just take that one, then."

It wouldn't matter. Naruto had been pre-warned, so he wouldn't resist if Sasuke needed to use the switching technique with him. Sasuke might have been able to do it even if Naruto was unwilling anyway, but that would be pretty poor teamwork.

"Hmm." Kakashi pried his eye a little further open, scanning both hostile figures, but didn't say anything before Naruto leapt to engage his target first. Shame. If Sasuke had trusted in his own senses and not what he thought he knew about the other team's strategy, they would have won easily. Sai was still hiding, after all. He pursed his lips into a pout under his mask. He had been sort of hoping to get a nap in.

About five minutes later, Aiko was all but cackling at two utterly filthy and disgruntled boys. Naruto had made the tactical error of using one of his pre-planted explosion tags just as she was powering a water jutsu. The resultant mess had created a seriously nasty wave of mud that had smacked into her clone with enough force to cancel it (surprising Sasuke, who had apparently determined that it was Sai). She was a muddy mess too, but she was having more fun than anything else. The mud wave had knocked her completely over and lost her the match, when Naruto had reflexively moved to pin her, but she couldn't bring herself to regret seeing the look on Sasuke's face when the two techniques had combined. The fact that her water clone had smacked into him and broke didn't make things any better.

At least it had washed off most of his mud. He didn't seem in a mood to appreciate that, though.

"Not cool," Naruto grumped, picking up a handful of sludge and flinging it at her. Aiko didn't even attempt to dodge, though she did protect her eyes from debris with a raised arm, one eye peeking open as she moved to speak.

"That's really mature," she began to tease-

Splat.

And was cut off by another mudball impacting the side of her head, courtesy of Sasuke this time. Slowly, her head swiveled to get him into her full field of vision. He looked awfully petulant, but that was sort of normal. The 'wet cat' impression wasn't, but it was a good look on him anyways.

In lieu of words or grabbing her own mud, she launched herself bodily at Sasuke and dragged him down into the sludge onto his back with a hilarious squelch. It was uncomfortable, not least because she still had her arms latched around his ribs and they ended up mildly squished by both their body weight. Without pause, Sasuke made an odd contortion that allowed him to tear her grip off his torso and heaved her up by her waist, pushing her ten feet directly into the air with a startling ease that suddenly made her remember he'd never used his Tsunade-esque super strength on her. She was still blinking in shock and adjusting herself to make a safe landing when Naruto barreled into her from the side and knocked her clean out of the air.

Their observers kept a safe distance. Sai looked bewildered.

'I'm not touching that situation for love or money,' Kakashi snorted fondly, shaking his head.

He didn't know quite what to think of this outcome. It was mildly embarrassing to see his soldiers brawling in the mud. Well… technically their team had won, if only because Sai had accidentally set off one of Sasuke's shuriken traps. He hadn't gotten caught in it, but even the Chuunin version of himself that Kakashi was portraying would have known he was there then. Sasuke would probably fume that it was one of Naruto's traps that got Sai, but he wasn't a miracle worker.

In true cooperative spirit, he'd herded the Root ANBU into a paralysis seal instead of subduing him physically before meandering over to see how on earth Aiko had managed to detain both boys for well over three minutes. They'd apparently managed to subdue her and technically win that fight, although he would have preferred that they figure out that they were fighting a clone and not a disguised Sai. It was an amateur mistake—Aiko tended to keep her wrist turned three degrees further inward than Sai did when blocking kicks, and if Sai had been transformed into Aiko there should have been sloppiness in his taijutsu when he overestimated his reach. Of course, if Aiko had let Sasuke take the offensive, that wouldn't have been readily apparent. So perhaps he couldn't give an accurate assessment without having seen most of the fight.

Eh. There would be other opportunities to get the full gauge of the boys' abilities. They tended to fall into rather repetitive patterns when sparring each other, but both were competitive enough that they also wanted to impress.

Naruto finally noticed his presence, homing in with a frightening intensity for an instant- and then pretended to be distracted by his sister.

'Nice try, Naruto.'

He'd never been particularly subtle, so that wasn't a bad attempt. Still, Kakashi called on a swathe of chakra and shunshined away. A clump of mud sailed elegantly through the air his chest had occupied only milliseconds before. Naruto scowled. His distraction cost him—Sasuke had turned on his ally and shoved a handful of filth inside his open mouth.

Sai just stared, feeling completely lost while Washboard laughed so hard that she fell over, bent up on her side.

 

Aiko tossed the grungy, mud-flecked towel into her laundry basket, mentally determining to camp out in the laundry room with a book and get everything washed when she had the time. That towel alone would probably require a couple of washes.

More pressing, however, was the ever-present whisper of the trapped seal she had placed on Sai's spine from somewhere nearby. It was hard to pinpoint his exact location without looking (and therefore giving away that she was aware he was observing her).

Aiko was both pleased and unnerved to note that there was a notable difference between the sensation of her regular seals and her trapped seals. It hadn't been designed with any such thing in mind—she hadn't even known it was possible for Hiraishin to sing at varied frequency. She would never mistake Sai's seal for Kakashi's or Naruto's, even though she couldn't tell apart the kunai seal that Kakashi carried from the one she had interlaced with the seal on Naruto's gut. It was a good thing she had a mark on Naruto himself—he seemed to forget to carry the kunai seal with him. Silly thing.

In any case, it was getting difficult not to react to the fact that Sai was still watching her. Idly, she began to pull her damp hair into two braids as she walked through the apartment and carefully scanned for the signs of his surveillance.

'He must be flagging by now,' she thought doubtfully. Sai hadn't appeared fatigued at all when she'd seen him, but she knew for a fact that he had been up as long as she had. Actually, he probably had less sleep than she did. Aiko had been in bed for several hours before Boar had come to drag her to Danzo, and Sai had probably just never gone to sleep yesterday. If she had to, she could stay up for quite a while longer, but it was an unavoidable fact that both her mental processes and physical reactions would suffer. She had to sleep, because she had to be at her peak condition when she was dealing with anyone as dangerous as Danzo.

It was hard to want to sleep when she knew she was being watched, by some creeptastic ink cockroaches no less.

Aiko outright grimaced and used the arm that she lifted to pin her braids to hide the expression from Sai's view. How insulting was it that he thought she wouldn't notice? Cognitively, she knew they were just ink, but it was still shitty that he was sending something so icky into her home. She had to tolerate being in close vicinity to nasty shit like that while she was sleeping or hiding in the woods (ew, nature) but she shouldn't have to her in her own damn bedroom. Ugh. She'd rather that he came in himself.

There wasn't a good way to make that happen without letting on that she knew she was being observed. In order for the fact that she had made no move to tell anyone about her late-night summoning and odd-but-not-criminally-incriminating conversation to count in her favor, they had to think that she thought it was an option in the first place.

That had never been an option, despite what Tsunade seemed to have thought. There was a very good possibility that Tsunade's office wasn't a secure enough location for that conversation. Either it was literally insecure in that there was a way for Danzo to gather information about conversations held there, like hidden listening devices, or it may as well have been bugged because she couldn't slip away to Hokage tower without being seen, even in ANBU gear.

No. Danzo would not risk letting her report to her scheduled shift two days from now without either sealing her or making sure she didn't remember anything sensitive. The short time frame was no doubt to pressure her into making a decision quickly, if he did indeed anticipate that she was alert enough to feel the noose tightening around her neck.

'That was a dramatic metaphor,' she snickered. 'A better one would be that the branding iron approaches, with little old me wide-eyed and not sure if I'm strong enough to make a break for it through the barbed wire. Does that make me a wild horse?'

Root wasn't a matter of life and death, after all. At least not directly, although it could very well put her on the mission that got her killed.

Disappointingly, it did look like she wouldn't be able to avoid it. As troublesome as it would be to get involved in real black operations work as opposed to the softer sides of ANBU assignments, the idea of intentionally failing to meet Danzo's criteria was unpalatable. Not when it meant that he would make sure she couldn't breathe a word anyways. She wasn't so loyal to Tsunade that she would bolt to give her the little useless information she now had, and she wasn't stupid enough to think that she could tell Danzo 'no' either. Aiko liked her mind the way it was—her own and not meddled with. Discretion was the better part of valor in this case.

Really, the success of her mission depended on whether or not she really was smarter and luckier in her circumstances than Danzo had taken into account. Even if that tongue-seal prevented her from designing a counter seal herself… well. She already had one. In the absolute worst situation, where it became clear that her counter seal was a failure and she couldn't make another one, she'd just find Jiraiya.

She was at least certain that the physical paralysis didn't activate from mere from seditious thoughts. It could only respond to attempted action that would demonstrate an actual attempt to sell Root out. It was either intent-based or specifically tailored to prevent the sealed party from writing or speaking certain combinations of words. So, cumulative action that alone wasn't seditious but could be combined to ask for help from a better seal master like Jiraiya wouldn't trigger the seals (until it was too late, if at all). Like holding up a copy of the counterseal she'd already made, looking sad, and sticking out her tongue, for instance. He was bright enough to figure that out.

Granted, that would mean publically associating herself with a splinter cell, but Tsunade had probably kept him in the loop. Even if he hadn't, Jiraiya was emotionally compromised when it came to her and Naruto. He would probably be disappointed, but justify it away unless she presented an actual threat to Konoha's interests.

Besides… she really would like to see how that seal went on. It probably wouldn't be pleasant, but it would no doubt be enlightening. Unless she was unconscious when it went on, then she would be able to gather some information about it.

She didn't bother to restrain her laugh at the conclusion that thought led her to. 'If curiosity like mine really killed the cat, it's a good thing that this isn't Yamato's mission. I think I'll be fine, though. Maybe I'm just arrogant.'

There wasn't any point in fighting her fatigue any longer, so she padded to her room and burrowed under the covers and intentionally relaxing her muscles. If she was getting off on tangents and speculations like that, it was probably time to get to bed. Anyone who came by to see her sleeping in the early afternoon would probably be horrified at her laziness or assume she was ill, but it was hard to care.

Hell, maybe Sai would come in when it became obvious that she was going to be too unconscious to note his presence. The boy would never complain, but he was probably roasting out there in the direct sunlight in his black outfit.

She woke up on her own when Sai actually ventured into her bedroom in ANBU gear, probably intending to wake her up. He still reeked of ink: if it mattered, she would now be able to admit to having recognized her guide for the night.

"Is it that time already?" The question was intentionally cheeky. Maybe he'd tell her not to take this so lightly. Boar had been full of cautions yesterday... But that might have been his own initiative, a subtle way of helping the rookie by letting her know what was expected of her. Whether it was an attempt of secrecy or because he saw no point in helping her, Sai said nothing at all.

He seemed to stare blankly behind his unpainted mask which could be construed as intimidating, but Aiko was unimpressed. Sai probably wasn't going to say anything, so she took his lack of badgering as permission to take her own sweet time to pull on the unflattering pants she only wore as an ANBU and the silly sleeveless shirt that she didn't actually mind. Aiko probably wouldn't have rushed as much as she had the first night with Boar, either, if he'd shown up again. She had let her nervousness overwhelm her, and that wasn't fitting at all. She had to portray calm and collected reserve.

But thinking of her sometimes-teammate's baffling behavior yesterday brought another memory to the forefront. Perhaps he had been genuinely concerned that she might harm Sai, but Boar had still been unnecessarily rough with her. She narrowed her eyes, glaring down at her hands while she pulled on the long gloves that went with her outfit.

'I need to remember that I owe him an ass-kicking.'

Her fingers easily slipped through the routine of fastening her armor, leg plates secured tightly over her boots. It wasn't exactly standard issue, but the blue sandals that most shinobi wore were a visual affront against nature. Nothing short of a direct order from the Hokage or critical village shortage of other shoes would convince her to clamp one of those blue monstrosities on her poor feet.

As soon as she was ready, Sai gripped her upper arm with surprising force. Displeased, she moved to pry it off—and found that she couldn't. She might have panicked, if he didn't hold up his free hand in a seal that broadcasted his intentions.

"Blegh," she said unhappily, but made no move to protest being caught up in his shunshin, squeezing her eyes shut to avoid the dizzying affect of swirling stimuli that she couldn't quite process. Root probably didn't want any paranoid assholes to notice ANBU coming from one area two nights in a now. They had only traveled a few blocks north with his technique before they started to run, meaning that she was directionally aware enough to be sure that the entrance he led her to definitely wasn't the one Boar had used.

'Maybe they're making a point about just how pervasive Konoha's roots are?' she theorized. Impressing her wouldn't be a bad recruitment strategy. People liked to belong to prestigious designations as much as they liked to imagine that they were somehow doing good.

This time, Sai didn't hide in the room with them. She gave him a sideways glance, half-expecting that he would leave, but that didn't seem to be in the cards.

"Danzo-sama." Sai gave a full bow, nearly scraping the floor. She murmured the same greeting, but gave him the same bow as the day before. The old man didn't seem to care either way.

"Masks off."

It was a bit unnerving to see that she couldn't catch Danzo glancing at her even though she was one-hundred percent certain that he was watching her to see if she'd recognized Sai.

'Of course he's a damn good shinobi,' she reminded herself. 'Don't forget that. Old age may have deteriorated his combat skills, but he almost certainly hasn't lost out on perception and observation skills. Shinobi don't live to retire – the real kind of retirement, not getting forced out because of a career-ending injury— unless they are very. Very. Good.'

There was no knowing what conclusion he'd come to, but she hadn't bothered to fake surprise or even given Sai a cursory look as if to check a theory. Danzo's dark eyes appeared to be boring a hole through her very being. "You are familiar with your companion tonight, if I am not mistaken."

It was not a question.

"Hai, Danzo-sama," she agreed politely.

The old man coughed lightly into a fist, frail shoulders shaking slightly. "I am disappointed in you, Sai. You must have been sloppy to have given away your identity."

'Am I supposed to defend him or let him get chewed out?' Frankly, it was a bit puzzling. If Danzo really know that she had recognized him yesterday, then he should have known that assigning Sai to follow her had been his error in the first place. There was no way to ensure that Sai could get within arm's reach of her without giving away his scent unless an equally able scent tracker had checked him over. Obviously, Danzo had arranged no such thing

Danzo might also be operating under the assumption that she had only recognized Sai tonight, which didn't portray him in a better light. If that were true, then not only had he underestimated her, but he had intentionally put Sai in position to give her a chance to prove her worth by recognizing him and then blamed him for Aiko's relative skill level.

'He's a 'big picture' kind of guy, isn't he,' she thought dryly. 'Not a real social butterfly.' Otherwise, he would know that even that absent-minded scolding could drive Sai away. Perhaps he was testing Sai as well by seeing how he reacted to the extra pressure? Or perhaps he was just a sadist.

Aiko kept her mouth shut. If Danzo outright asked how she knew, she would tell him that she'd caught Sai's scent and let him draw his own conclusions.

As it turned out, he was more interested in blaming Sai for supposed ineptitude and then moving on than he was in inquiring after the minutia of her abilities. That fit well with her theory that he was better with large-scale plans than dealing with people on a micro level.

"I have asked you here because I have reason to believe that you would be a beneficial addition to an elite group within ANBU." His hand shook slightly, but Danzo slowly poured two cups of tea and offered one to Aiko. It was hard to note that Sai didn't seem to expect one, nor did he receive an offer. An intentional display of the supposed power differential there? Was he trying to assure her that she would be important, and not just a pawn? If that was the case, it was an obvious lie. Danzo would want to use the benefit her future council seat could give him, not empower and prop her up.

'And that phrasing was nice, too,' she thought with bleak amusement. 'Root sounds very legal in those terms. I suppose it makes sense. If I didn't already know from Tsunade, I would probably assume that this ANBU subset is completely legal. How would someone who wasn't sure ever check what powers the Hokage does and doesn't allow Danzo?'

That probably meant that many of the recruits didn't understand what they were getting into was a criminal faction. Really, the job that Danzo took onto himself was a perfectly legitimate one. The other great powers all had elite forces that were closer to Root than to ANBU. Konoha's ANBU barely dabbled in the actual black operations that were other villages' bread and butter, and were often used as a sort of elite home guard. In Suna, for example, that would be done by Jounin. Konoha (and Fire Country in general) was wealthy and influential enough that there was hardly any need to scrabble out net village profits by taking work that the village had to deny responsibility for. It was part of why everyone else thought that Konoha was soft and insufferably smug.

"I am honored to have your consideration." Her tone was intentionally even, barely walking the line between 'professional' and 'brisk'. It was a rather infuriating obscuring tactic that she had picked up from Kakashi, in fact. He often used the technique to distract the listener from picking apart his actual words, or to elicit an emotional reaction where they might otherwise have been able to control themselves.

Danzo was highly self-contained. There was no indication that he had heard anything possibly insolent in her tone when he continued speaking. "As you should be." She lifted the cup, putting her lips to the cold rim and tipping it up as if to drink, but kept her mouth shut and subtly sniffed it instead. It really did seem to be just tea. There was no discernible benefit in poisoning her.

"If you accept, you will answer directly to me. Your normal duties will continue, but your specialized training will be supplemented by instruction from my agents once you are told to report for further ANBU training."

She allowed herself to look just a bit interested, carefully tilting a single fingertip to barely hover over the cup she was holding gingerly. It took concentration, but she slowly siphoned all the impurities out of the liquid below and gathered them into her hand as she would while preparing water for jutsu. Impure water like that in a lake or river could be used, but it meant fighting against the other elements washing around in the water. The flaky remnants of the tea stuck unpleasantly to her finger and her fist when she withdrew that hand and curled it up, but she didn't let on with her face that she was doing anything unusual.

But really, it would have been idiotic to drink anything he gave her. She didn't trust him. Aiko was polite enough to pretend to drink even if that meant drinking plain-but-scalding hot water, but not polite enough to risk ingesting a sedative or something of that ilk.

"As far as the outside world is concerned, Root does not exist." He leveled her with a stern glare. "The genin, Chuunin, and Jounin who operate in visibility are Konoha's leaves and trunk. But they cannot be strong without a foundation that supports them and allows them to avoid the dank unpleasantness that must be endured. Not all are suited for this role. Do not make your decision lightly… but make it now."

'I honestly did not expect him to frame this as my choice entirely. Pressure much?'

Aiko allowed just a hint of emotion to reach her face. Intentionally, she widened her eyes as if in surprise or dismay, but with a slightly unfocused gaze as though she was caught up in the picture he had been making for her.

The reaction seemed to satisfy Danzo. He gently set down his tea and rose to a standing position, tapping his cane deliberately as he crossed the room contemplatively. It simply had to be an affectation, but it was a convincing display of a man so caught up in his own story that he became restless and had to pace.

It was another pressuring tactic. The toc-toc-toc sound of his wooden cane rhythmically hitting the floor was meant to divide her attention between the real world and her thoughts, imparting a subtle hint of anxiety and need for haste as he moved ever-so-slightly faster.

The first time she opened her jaw, she kept her lips closed and silently put her teeth back together to give the impression that she had thought better of saying something. Danzo wasn't physically watching, but he had eyes on her. Either through Sai or some mechanism she was unaware of, he would be paying attention to her and note that 'slip'. She couldn't seem too eager to choose one option or the other, but now could she hesitate for long. That spiel had been intended to see if she was ideologically aligned with his goals: if she wasn't, she was of no use to him. Of course, neither was an idealistic idiot who said the first thing that came to mind.

"I would like nothing more than to serve Konoha at your discretion in whatever capacity I can, Danzo-sama." This time, her bow was in mimicry of Sai's full bow earlier.

It wasn't a lie. That was exactly what she wanted for her current mission… and in some small part, because she thought he was right. Konoha would be weaker without him, even if he was technically a dissenter.


	67. Chapter 67

"Excuse me a moment, would you?" Tsunade drawled, neatly flicking open the blue wax seal on her newest missive with a fingernail.

The brat who had brought it didn't look pleased at the idea of waiting in her office, but he didn't do more than give a faint sneer, lifting half of his upper lip to showcase those freakish teeth that Mist seemed to have in spades.

'He's a cute kid until he smiles. It's like Mist has a monopoly on creepy people. Is everyone in Mist this disturbing-looking?'

She took a moment to imagine walking down a street full of people who looked like that. Tsunade shuddered.

'I could probably end their village in a generation if I mailed them bright lightbulbs and some condoms. The problem would pretty well solve itself.'

That was an idea to shelve for later. Right now they were on good terms with Mist. If in future they needed to use 'Plan Turn On the Lights', well. She had a few spares in the utility closet ready to be boxed up.

Tsunade unfolded the paper and leaned back in her chair to scan it, knowing perfectly well that the hidden ANBU guard lurking awkwardly in the hidden alcove by her bookcase would be making sure the Mist boy didn't twitch. She ran the tip of her tongue along her teeth as she read and settled down, breathing slowly through her nose. That positioning saved her from making an involuntary wheeze of amusement when she got to the line that indicated that Terumi Mei had a much better sense of humor than had been readily apparent.

'Holy…'

She sneakily glanced up to observe the light-haired boy in her office. Apparently, Terumi had reason to believe that the sneaky bastard who'd slunk into her village some time ago and pled for reinstatement had come into contact with one of Konoha's teams after escaping from Sound. It hadn't been phrased in exactly that way, but Mei didn't want to waste resources equipping and training the boy up if she was going to find out a month later that he'd offended Konoha enough that he would be the source of a diplomatic incident.

So she'd sent him with a missive she'd intended to get to Konoha anyway and added the postscript that Konoha could kill him if they wanted, but if not, then they should send him back with her response, thanks in advance for sending a speedy reply, with love from the Mizukage.

"Pft."

Suigetsu jumped a little, giving her a downright unnerved look. Apparently, he found her amusement more frightening than she did his teeth.

It was a nice thought. She intentionally gave a drawn-out giggle for good measure, watching the way he shivered from under her eyelashes. Ah. It was nice to put fear into the hearts of men. Being relegated to an office had made that experience so much harder to come by. The middle-aged secretary didn't even respect her anymore, much less find her intimidating.

"Shizune." Her voice was intentionally raised enough to summon her first apprentice from the next room over. "Take our guest to his quarters, please. Thank you for your hasty delivery. I will meet with you again when I have composed a reply. Feel free to explore the village."

As the slightly wild-eyed Mist nin followed Shizune out, Tsunade critically examined him. The way that he walked, the impression he'd given her… Well. She wouldn't be surprised if Terumi was correct. It wasn't hard to imagine that this 'Suigetsu' had managed to clash with Hatake's team. Hatake had a foot-long stick up his rectum about certain triggers and the Mist brat was exactly the type of idiot who would grate on his nerves.

Terumi was better at this game than Tsunade had given her credit for. She lost nothing with this move: if she was correct, then Mist had demonstrated transparency and loyalty to their new allies. If Suigetsu hadn't committed criminal action against Konoha, then Terumi had significant proof of his loyalty in that he'd been trustworthy enough to take a message giving Konoha permission to kill him. If the boy had been a spy or disloyal for whatever reason and indulged his curiosity, then he wouldn't have anything more than rumors to try to sell about Mist when he'd inevitably abandon the mission.

Since he hadn't jumped ship, the boy was either an absolute lunatic or reasonably trustworthy, meaning that Terumi could begin to capitalize on his worth as an actual trained successor of one of the Seven Swordsmen. Hell, maybe she'd give him Zabuza's sword. It was probably just sitting in a storage closet somewhere.

Actually… she didn't remember the name off-hand, but it had seemed like she did remember some sort of unresolved incident in the report from team Kakashi's border assignment a while back. Tsunade trailed off in thought, abruptly getting up and leaving her office to shuffle through the chakra-sealed file drawer (also secured with gravity seals that made the ability to casually assert thousands of pounds of force to open the drawer a must. Ah, it was good to be as brilliant as she was strong) with old A-class mission reports. Hatake's team had been deployed on the same C to B class mission as several younger teams, but they'd been also working as diplomatic liaisons, so they really should have been filed…

"Ahah!," she huffed under the breath, pulling the papers out and tugging off the yellow paperclip with enough force to accidentally tear the top sheet.

The sense of victory quickly fled. She closed one eye, tilted the paper, and even tried putting up so close to her face that it practically brushed her nose. The dust that had somehow accumulated already tickled at her sinuses, making her eyes water. Disgusted, she shoved the report back into place without bothering to clip it together and slammed the drawer shut.

It was no use. Hatake's handwriting was just so appalling that she couldn't pick anything out without a fresh verbal de-briefing to help her look for familiar bits and put things together into an interpretation that made sense. What an ass.

She had no choice. It was time to call on the big guns.

"Keeiiikooooo," she tilted her head back and howled pathetically, pigtails tumbling off her shoulders with the movement.

After a long moment, where her secretary was probably mulling over the life choices that had led her to this low point, she heard the long-suffering, "Hai, Hokage-sama?"

"Have someone bring Hatake here. He needs to be scolded." She paused as if in thought. "I'll need coffee before he gets here". Her shoulders slumped inward. "Hurry on that, we probably only have four hours after he's summoned until that reject actually shows his pointy face," she muttered bitterly under her breath. Cheery. There was nothing like waiting on her own damn peons to put her in a good mood.

She could use the time to contemplate the other information she had to take into consideration. Despite the fact that the reports were garbled, it was generally public knowledge that Konoha had acquired the Hiraishin yet again. (Granted, if she hadn't known it to be true, Tsunade would have called it an idiotic rumor). All the rumors had one thing in common—they made it clear that there was a strong association between the Kazekage and the incident in question.

Even without any real evidence, Terumi Mei had apparently been paranoid and miffed enough to come to the correct conclusion that Sabaku no Gaara had been gifted with a Hiraishin seal… and wanted one herself. Tsunade could practically see the pout behind the carefully selected words tactfully meandering along the line of 'asking but not actually asking because that would weaken Mist's position'.

If the reader was an emotionally incompetent twit like one of Danzo's pets, Terumi's words could be construed as merely remarking on the many amazing potentials for instantaneous information transfer between allied nations and just what a shame it would be for Mist to lose their vulnerable, barely trained jinchuuriki after Konoha had so kindly helped them seal the turtle demon. As a point of professional pride, the seal-master in question would probably be severely put-out at such a turn in events, Terumi wheedled with a deplorable lack of subtlety.

'The miserable hag is right, in a way.' Irritably, Tsunade pursed her lips and blew her bangs out of her face. She didn't care much for Mist, but they were allies. Even if they weren't, few people were taking the Akatsuki threat seriously. They should work with the ones that did. A few days after the attack on Suna, the Kazekage had called for a summit to address the issue.

Tsunade had answered. Terumi had reluctantly answered. Rock hadn't bothered to reply at all. And Cloud's Raikage had gone to the trouble of telling Gaara not to bother the international community with his personal problems and assert that he should come back when his balls had dropped. It had been the badly-spelled diplomatic missive heard around the world. Ouch.

In other words, they should probably give up hope for an international man-hunt. Pity, that. She rather liked the idea of sharing the burden. Annihilating those animals would be much more plausible with equal cooperation. Konoha and their allies couldn't do it on their own.

Despite being the largest alliance, the alliances' enemies in Cloud and Rock were actually currently the strongest individually of the great villages. Mist was recovering from a revolution and a decade best described as 'bloody', Sand had a teenaged Kage and the legacy of twenty-something years of poverty, and Konoha hadn't managed to recover the kind of S-class monstrosities that they had lost in various stupid circumstances—to the Kyuubi, to grief, to suicide, and to their own ambitions—that would have allowed them to carry their allies' weight. Konoha was in the best position by far, but they had to direct resources to internal problems, restructure in the wake of an administration shift, and finish building up the bit of momentum they had finally regained after the Kyuubi's devastation.

If it hadn't been for that moronic invasion… Tsunade scowled, rapping her nails on her desk in poorly hidden irritation.

Terumi was right to worry. She didn't have the strength to protect her child-jinchuuriki when Akatsuki came calling. Putting a Hiraishin seal on the little bastard so that he could be yanked out of hot water would probably end up saving his life.

'Of course, it also means putting more on Aiko's plate,' Tsunade mused, considering her options. On one hand, the child had gotten herself into that mess by giving a seal to the Kazekage. Refusing to do the same for the Mizukage could result in diplomatic strain, and she certainly didn't intend to let a teenager be the impetus for another pain-in-the-ass meeting when she had other things to be doing.

She also had the odd feeling that Terumi had come to the right conclusion about the seal master in question for all the wrong reasons—the missive had indicated that the Mizukage definitely did not believe the prevalent rumor that Yamato was the one with the Hiraishin. Of course, if Tsunade hadn't lied to the other woman about Aiko's fuinjutsu training and exaggerated her experiences just sliiiiightly when she was trying to accommodate their unilateral refusal to have Jiraiya in their country even when begging Konoha for aid, Terumi would probably have taken that rumor at face value. Her choice of messenger said she hadn't—it was almost certainly not a coincidence that she'd sent a hunky, slightly older boy to escort Konoha's sealing expert to Mist if Tsunade was agreeable to giving Terumi a seal.

'I suppose that grumpy, one-eyed fuck she uses as a bodyguard was just too busy fora mission like this,' Tsunade mocked internally.

No. Terumi was probably hoping to capitalize on the real power of youth: hormones and inexperience. If Tsunade didn't have him taken into custody, this 'Suigetsu' would probably do his level best to flirt Aiko's pants off and convince her that she wanted to stay in Mist. Terumi was doubtlessly waiting with champagne and a party hat, ready to offer one gullible teenager anything she wanted if she would only defect to Mist (technically not a crime while they were allied, if the girl thought to give an official resignation). Aiko might even be enough of a chump to fall for it: manipulating using attraction was a cliché because the ploy was effective. She hadn't had either the experience or training in honey-pot type missions that would prepare her to spot and avoid the gambit.

'I should get her into sex-specific training soon, but that will have to come after this mission is over. Luckily, I do know the very best party-pooper. I really would like to see romance bloom in the air with that stick in the mud hanging around.'

"Hokage-sama? Your appointment is here."

"I was just thinking about you," she sweetly informed Hatake when he deigned to meander in. He gave her a suspicious, one-eyed glare that implied he wasn't optimistic enough to think that she'd been thinking about giving him a bonus and sending him on vacation. "Tell me, does the name 'Suigetsu' ring any bells, and do you think I should kill him?"

 

The twitch in his fingers was getting worse. Suigetsu scowled at a passing woman. Her brown eyes widened, and she scooped up her daughter into the crook of her elbow and hustled away with an awkward clop of delicate heels on the rock path.

'I could follow her home and open that bitch up from ribs to hips. Spill her blood all over her prissy carpeted floor, I bet.'

The thought was tantalizing. Sure, civilians weren't the same kind of thrill to cut apart as a shinobi who could actually fight for their lives, but they screamed so much better. He shuddered just remembering the pleasurable thrill. Killing was as good as fucking.

Suigetsu licked his lips, feeling thirsty. He hadn't killed anyone in days. Mist wasn't the way he'd remembered at all: the first time he'd killed someone on the training fields just to see him bleed, he'd been brought in for a fucking disciplinary hearing. And it was definitely looking like there wouldn't be a good chance to wet his blade in Konoha either. Pity.

'I'm so sick of waiting.'

With a grunt, he pushed his way into the crowd, intentionally jarring anyone who looked at him funny with his shoulders. He really couldn't kill anyone here, but they couldn't kill him or do jack to him either. Diplomatic immunity and all that shit. That did give him a certain amount of leeway to try to take out his aggression in other ways.

A bell jingled with irritating cheer as the door opened on—was that really a sweet shop? In a shinobi village? Suigetsu gaped in disbelief, barely collecting himself in time to bare his teeth and send the children who'd just poured out into the street flinching away from him.

'What a fucking joke. Kids that age should be learning to kill, not stuffing their fat fucking faces with candy. Are they serious? There's something very wrong with this place.'

A girl who looked to be about eight grabbed a smaller girl's hand and steered away from him, giving a surprisingly pissy glare at a nin three times her size. Suigetsu snorted in approval, casually kicking his foot out to trip one of her companions. He didn't turn his head to see the brat start to yowl and snuffle.

He'd already mulled over this mission. Of course it was a sign that Mei-chan was warming up to him: it was stupid to trust one person to get a missive across the continent unless that person was very strong. He was qualified for that, but this diplomatic bullshit? It just wasn't his style. He was much more suited to killing people than to charming them, although he could be charming if it suited his purposes.

Then again, being charming might be his best recourse. This mission did conveniently put him in the same village as that redheaded bitch who'd killed Zabuza, though. If he could find her, he'd pump her for information.

Suigetsu didn't suppress the immature snicker that thought brought up. He cracked himself up sometimes.

He wasn't entirely serious on that. It was always a bad idea to fuck around with enemy kunoichi… then again, Konoha wasn't exactly an enemy right now. They still weren't Mist, he reminded himself. The only people he could really trust were his comrades, and he didn't have those now. That was why he needed to rebuild the swordsmen.

It always came back to that. That was why he was here—or why he hadn't protested this mission, anyway. He hadn't heard so much as a whisper about Zabuza's blade, which meant that the bitch wasn't using it. 'As if she could,' he snorted. It took an extraordinary amount of strength to wield one of the legendary swords. It could be in Konoha's custody, in which case being on good terms with the chump who'd brought it in could only help his case.

His normal modus operandi would be to overpower her and beat the information he needed out of her. But that would pretty well fuck-up the professional attitude he'd been grudgingly portraying. Suigetsu wasn't interested in sabotaging his own work and wasting his time.

So he'd have to be comparatively subtle. Unfortunately, he would also have to rely on luck to an extent. He already had a lie prepared—that he wanted to thank her for saving his life in that Sound mess—but he couldn't actually go and hunt her down. Even if he was familiar with Konoha, he didn't know where the bitch lived. No matter how incompetent these people were, they wouldn't humor a foreign nin asking how to find one of their citizens.

That meant he just had to hope he'd run into her. He could increase his chances of that by spending a lot of time going around Konoha. He definitely wouldn't find her in his assigned quarters or with the big-tittied Hokage.

 

With some difficulty, Aiko swallowed around her swollen and painful tongue. Breathing was surprisingly difficult under her stupid mask—the porcelain obstructed her nose slightly, and her tongue kept threatening to block off her throat.

She was a little disoriented and faint-feeling. The feeling had been getting a little better since she'd left Danzo, but the seal digging into her being and anchoring her chakra along certain lines was more than a bit distracting.

Perhaps it would have been better if she'd been less aware of her own chakra and how it was being entangled with Danzo's.

'I'm probably doing a shit job of my real task,' she thought, stiffly readjusting her posture. 'If some ambitious lunatic comes soaring in through the window to assassinate Tsunade, I'll probably only notice when she pounds them into the carpet.' Her attention had been wandering in the last few hours since she'd started her shift. Normally she would have been fascinated and been occupied with trying to piece together the threads of intrigue that Tsunade was weaving.

Today was not a normal day. She felt fevered and strange and had barely even remembered when she had replaced ANBU squirrel. Aiko did dully note that Kakashi was in the office, but the conversation was quiet and she didn't strain to listen in. It was all the she could do to maintain consciousness and a minimum level of alertness.

'You would think that Danzo wouldn't want to compromise his own people's abilities,' she thought sourly.

To be fair, the seal may not affect less aware users that way. Aiko had been paying attention while the damn thing went on as best as she could. It was impossible to actually see at the time: it was on her tongue, after all. But she had been able to see the stamp like tools with ink-filled needles that he had jabbed her with and then activated with chakra before jabbing the next 'stamp'. The process had been polished to perfection with the ease of repetition. Frankly, she was impressed.

She was also a little nervous. Her counterseal would definitely not work on this seal. 'Well, it could,' she corrected in the interest of fairness. 'But only if I overpower the hell out of it and don't mind that my tongue is going to end up severely burnt.'

That was definitely last- resort. A good medic-nin could repair that kind of damage, but she'd prefer to have a better seal ready.

Danzo was a paranoid old coot. She had been right about the primary seal at least: the bits that served to actually enslave the sealed agent weren't very complicated at all. He hadn't put a lot of time and love into that seal. She was at least satisfied in her analysis there: if she brute-forced her way through the bars, she could easily pick that apart. The locking mechanism was Danzo's real baby. It had been a massive pain in the ass to use mathematical sealing to pull those bars apart, and now she knew why: they weren't solid bars. She had been running algorithms again and again until she found one that gave an answer that just happened to resonate closely to the real, three-pronged problem's answer.

The seal that Danzo had put on her himself was actually four interlocked pieces. Not two, as she had hypothesized. Definitely not two pieces. The first piece was the actual enslaving agent, combining various behavioral control concepts. The other three were all locks that combined to form a fourth lock—making the Root tongue seal a five-piece seal written with four seals. That man was as brilliant as he was mad. She wanted to make something as tricky as that one day.

'At least I know why I had such a hard time picking apart those stupid bars covering the primary seal.'

What a drag.

An increase in volume jolted her back to the real world. Aiko bit her lower lip, trying to stay focused, despite the fact that all she could see was Kakashi's stiff back, blocking Tsunade's desk and face. 'I wonder what I missed? Kakashi does not seem happy.' His voice always got low and growly and hard to understand when he was upset. 'Well, that's not strictly true,' she corrected herself. 'When he's really angry… It's more of a cold, detached anger.'

"-end badly."

Tsunade was much easier to understand. Lovely diction and enunciation, that woman had. Aiko appreciated that.

"Unless you're rescinding your earlier judgment that we don't need to kill the brat, then yes. It does have to. At least we know what Terumi is planning, and the two of you can handle him if something happens on the way to Mist. Better the simpleton we know than someone more dangerous that we aren't as familiar with."

Grudgingly came the, "Hai, Hokage-sama," after a long moment where Kakashi seemed to sullenly contemplate throwing his papers to the ground and stomping out.

'Man, I really should have been paying attention. This sounds like it was an interesting conversation.'

Aiko rolled her neck, tilting her head down nearly to touch her shoulder. Oh well. It was too late now.

At least she had the comfort of knowing just how damn good the seals disguising her presence in that alcove were. Kakashi almost certainly knew there was an ANBU guard there, but he didn't seem to have recognized her. She ran her fingertips against the humming seals, taking a moment to pick apart their components. They weren't so complicated. She could replicate these.

'Could they be used on an item like my mask to obscure my chakra signature whenever I put it on? That would be useful for keeping my identity quiet around people who know me and for just plain hiding in general. I can't see why the seal would have to completely surround the user like it does here in order to work. Close contact really should be enough for it to function properly…'

That might be a nice addition to her home security. The way that she could come and go with Hiraishin would be apparent to any strong sensors who paid attention. It would be better if no one knew when she was and wasn't home. It was hardly her biggest problem, of course, but it was one that she could easily address today. It wasn't possible to totally revamp her home security in one day. The more complicated that the protections became, the more difficult and draining it would be to tie in new additions.

As soon as her shift was over and ANBU walrus came to replace her, Aiko settled on her bed with her sealing diary and sketched out the chakra muffling symbols that she had familiarized herself with during her shifts. She sketched out what she remembered seeing of the 'stamps' Danzo had used on her while she was at it. Unfortunately, her memory on the second part of the locking seal was a bit distorted and she'd missed the third altogether. By that time, she'd been woozy with the supremely uncomfortable sensation of the seal digging into her chakra system.

"At least I remember the first part," she muttered, struggling to get down her vague remembrance of the middle section. By simple elimination, she could reconstruct the rest of the seal with a little work.

Aiko couldn't help but notice that this exercise invalidated one of her hypothesis—she was definitely not barred from working on reverse engineering the seal. 'Not that I would know how to make a seal capable of such a thing myself. Maybe it's not even possible for a seal to sense preparation to make a counterseal. If the seal were binding enough to restrict such a thing, it could very well prevent me from learning any number of useful skills that could be used against Root or Danzo.'

She gave an ugly snort, barely lifting her pen in time to prevent a mistake on her design. It had been a large oversight on her part to forget that Danzo couldn't possibly forbid his operatives to learn skills that could be a danger to him when the whole reason he had a secret organization was combat-oriented.

With a squint, she envisioned how the tentative second seal would overlay the first, and what spaces it would leave for the third piece to fill in.

"Well, that can't be right," she said dryly, noting that her current version would have the third part completely failing as a locking mechanism independently. It would be easy to convert to a failed explosive seal, however. How useful. Exploding tongues would be so easy to weaponize.

Frustrated, she leaned back into her pillows and flipped to the earlier page, biting her lip. 'May as well make the first addition to my home security while I'm working on seals'. Using her recently scribed copy as a reference, Aiko copied the seal at intervals throughout the apartment, both in blood-tinted ink hidden under rugs with her other seals and invisible chakra webs on the walls that she smudged and wove into the pre-existing sealing network.

The same seal went onto the inside of her mask, beginning what would eventually be a looping structure around the rim. She would probably think of other modifications that she wanted. It would be nice to have any little help that she could while on her most dangerous missions.

'It would probably make sense to strengthen the actual mask before I do anything else, so that all the work I put into modifying it isn't wasted the first time someone thumps me.'

That bracingly logical thought in mind, she scrabbled through her seal diary for the mundane, basic seal that would make a physical object much harder to break. She'd never used it before, but perhaps she should make more regular use of that and seals like it on her equipment… Aiko got together a large pile of her equipment, both ANBU and regular, and went through piece-by-piece adding reinforcing seals. By the fifth piece, she had it mastered well enough to accomplish it with a chakra pulse instead of ink. By the twentieth, it very suddenly became clear that the sealing she had been doing over the last hours had been fighting a war of attrition against her chakra levels while she hadn't been paying attention.

"Ugh, my head." Aiko pressed her eyes shut and her forehead into her palms, bringing her feet up to rest on the bed so she could curl into her knees. "I think I made too many seals at once."

Using the chakra pulse was much faster, but it took much less out of her than using prepared ink did. Of course, it wasn't like the ink had no physical toll—it required her blood, for kami's sake— but that dizziness was generally unconnected from the experience of sealing because she didn't mix the ink at the same time that she used it.

"I'll do the rest of my equipment later." She blinked heavily at the enormous pile of crap that she had grabbed in her ambitious tour around the house for things to seal. It was covering enough of the bed that it would prevent her from laying down. She should really put it away.

"Maybe later." Aiko braced herself with her left palm on the covers and used her right arm to sweep the accumulated pile directly onto the floor with an ugly series of indignant thumps and clatters.

Guiltily, she glanced up at the doorway before remembering that she lived alone now. 'I can act like a barbarian now without anyone judging me.'

Smiling vaguely, she sunk down into the mattress and wiggled awkwardly to tug the blanket out from underneath her body enough to pull it over. Her bed was so warm, and so soft, and she was so very tired.

The next thing that she knew was the discomfort of a hand tightly gripping her wrist.

Aiko gritted her jaw, heart thumping and moved to sweep out the feet of the man in her bedroom—which brought her to the realization that she was standing… with a kunai in the hand being restrained… and that she was fantastically unsuccessful in knocking down the intruder because Kakashi stepped over her leg casually, giving her an unimpressed look all the while.

Her face burnt.

"Ah, sorry!" She drew her arms back the instant that he released her wrist. "Did- did you try to wake me?"

Oh god, how embarrassing. At least she still had lethal reflexes when someone actually approached her, but she really should be able to wake up when someone entered her living space or called out to her.

"Yes." His uncovered eye pointedly wandered over the mess in her room. "You must have been tired."

Aiko met his gaze steadily, refusing to look as shamed as she was tempted to feel. She was an adult. If her own room was a little messy, it was no one's business but her own. "Is something wrong?"

"No, but we have a time sensitive mission." He shoved his hands into his pockets and turned away, instantly looking a hundred times less lethal. "Pack for at least a week. The Mizukage wants a Hiraishin seal, for herself and for her jinchuuriki if you're willing to take on another charge. Lucky you, you get to be the emergency communication system."

She snorted. "Does that increase in clearance come with a bump in pay?" she asked sardonically.

It took a moment to realize that something was wrong when she didn't get a reply. He… he was almost always in the mood to banter, even if it was biting. Awkwardly, Aiko cleared her throat.

Kakashi paused in the doorway. "We're required to travel with a representative from Mist. I don't trust him. Watch your back, and don't share anything remotely sensitive."

"Hai, captain," she reflexively responded to the tone of command. The reply surprised even her—since when did she call him 'captain'?

'It's not like 'sensei' or 'shishou' are really accurate anymore,' she justified internally.

His head twitched as if he was considering turning to bring up the same question, but instead Kakashi strode out into the hallway and closed the door.

"Be at the east gate in ten minutes."

 

I'm on spring break now! So it's very possible that I could pick my posting pace back up again. It's much easier to want to post when I'm getting feedback, though. :) It does make me a little sad to get less than half the reviews I've gotten on previous chapters. Very sad, actually.

am sad now.

Back to DragonAge! :3 I want Inquisition to come out so very badly...


	68. Chapter 68

'This is going to be a long trip…' Aiko eyed Suigetsu warily. He was sort of freaking her out. That boy was way too pleased to see her when she'd met the group at the gate in the hideously early morning hour that Kakashi had broken into her apartment. A lesser woman might have strangled him for daring to look so smug and charming at an obscenely early time.

To be fair, her assessment of just how annoying he was could be off. She was still refilling her chakra stores and was probably more on-edge than usual because of it. It was hard to guess, but she must have slept about four hours or so. That estimation was based off the fact that about 32% of her chakra stores had trickled back in while she was asleep, adding to the approximately 15% low she'd been at when she crashed. Obviously, that made for a rather underwhelming state of slightly less than half of her full stores available. If this mission didn't absolutely require her in specific, she would have requested a personnel switch.

There was a reason why it was standard to give at least a day's notice for out-of-village missions like this: it took time for a body to recover from intense training or exertion, and the minimal but constant use of chakra augmentation for travel at shinobi speeds would eat up just enough of her reserves that she was barely accumulating any rejuvenation. At best, she'd be up to 60% of her full capacity by the time they stopped for the night. At least a night's rest should be enough to ensure that she was in a respectable state for their second day of travel as they actually ventured outside of friendly Fire Country territory.

She was strangely reluctant to share that weakness in front of Suigetsu. Perhaps Kakashi's paranoia about him from that morning had worn off on her. But she really should inform her captain that she wasn't operating at one-hundred percent capacity. Maybe there would be an opportunity for that later.

Kakashi had taken point in their loose traveling formation, which was both good and bad. It was nice not to have Suigetsu at her back, but it also meant that she couldn't help but notice every time that he turned to look at her. She wasn't sure if he was trying to hide it, or if he was intentionally doing it to mess with her head because it amused him to make her nervous. Either way, it was weird. He barely knew her.

Maybe he just wanted to get on her good side, and didn't know how to talk to her? A lot of shinobi were socially impaired, after all. Did he think that she would mediate for him with Kakashi? Suigetsu probably hadn't forgotten that Kakashi's impulse back when they'd met in Wind Country had been to kill him.

If that was what it was about, he really shouldn't worry. Kakashi was perfectly capable of killing someone in cold blood if it was required, but he wasn't the type of person who made that his first or even second choice. Even if he knew conflict was inevitable, he might let the other person make the first move. Sometimes she thought it was a coping mechanism, as if Kakashi was afraid that he would start enjoying making that decision if he did it too often.

She didn't get the same sense about Suigetsu. It… it was hard to be sure, because she wasn't sure she'd ever known much about him, except that he would have ended up one of Sasuke's companions. So he had to be a pretty good guy, right?

But he seemed like a bit of a creep. Oh sure, he was perfectly charming when he actually did speak (to her, at least). It was the long periods of time when he didn't say anything that were unnerving: he had a heavy-lidded way of staring at a person as if he was envisioning pulling them apart to see what made them tick before he opened his mouth.

'Don't make assumptions just because you have a bad feeling,' she scolded herself, shaking her hair out as if that would pull out the misgivings about her travel companion. 'I'm probably just projecting because the thought of going back to Mist is totally yuck. He seemed pretty gleeful the one time I saw him in a fight, but if I was fighting people who'd kept me in a glass tube, I might be vicious too.'

"I need a water break."

Kakashi turned to give their traveling companion an unimpressed look, but he obligingly halted. He didn't seem comfortable standing still or relaxing while Suigetsu obliviously sucked down two bottles of water in quick succession. The Mist-nin paced as he drank, languid and easy like a caged tiger. In comparison, Kakashi seemed tightly wound and stiff, carefully keeping Suigetsu in his peripheral but not actually looking at him. He didn't even twitch toward his supplies, as if to make the point that Suigetsu really should need a break so early into their trip. It had only been about three hours, after all.

'Suit yourself.' Aiko turned her face away from either of them, sitting down cross-legged and taking the chance to work a rock out of her left boot. It was a pain, but eventually she dug it out and glared at the innocuous but vexing stone for a moment. Then she shrugged and tossed it into the dirt, giving a stretch and unscrewing the lid on her own water to sip through a quarter of her water canteen. Her attention was only drawn back to her companions when Suigetsu made an overly-satisfied yawn, stretching out his long torso and baring pointed teeth. A quick glance revealed that her team leader still looked tense. Odd.

Suigetsu sniffed casually and tapped his now-empty bottle against his thigh with a distracted air, as if he didn't even see that Kakashi was clearly interested in moving on as soon as possible. "Is there a water source nearby?"

"We'll pass by one in a few hours," Kakashi said tightly. Aiko reflexively rose at his tone of voice, ready to leave. She knew perfectly well that it meant he wasn't feeling patient.

If the Mist-nin heard the same thing she did, he was doing a fairly good job at acting oblivious. He pouted, lightly shaking his empty water bottle as if to emphasize the lack of sloshing. "Can I get a refill, then?" His tone was saccharine… probably mocking. She revised her hypothesis that he was unnerved by Kakashi. Or at least, if he was, he was dealing with it by resorting to bravado. Either way, he seemed to be subtly provoking the older man.

'He could just genuinely be obnoxious,' she allowed internally. It was hard to know if that was a kinder assessment or not.

"Aren't you a water type?" Kakashi's eyebrow couldn't get any higher. Of course, not even Suigetsu could fail to notice the irritation in that statement. He looked sharply at the older man, and gave a condescending sneer, one tooth poking out over his bottom lip.

"No. I have a water based bloodline ability. If I could actually generate water, I wouldn't need to drink all the time."

The 'you idiot' wasn't stated, but it was pretty easy to hear nonetheless.

'Good lord, who pissed in their porridge this morning?'

What a stupid argument. Either one of them could have backed down and gotten them moving faster—Kakashi could just fill the damn water bottle easily, or Suigetsu could wait a little while. He was obviously in good condition still and would be able to make the trip. It was just idiotic posturing. Suigetsu was definitely irritating Kakashi on purpose by acting demanding, and Kakashi was playing into his hands by letting him know that he disliked the younger man.

That was unusual in itself. Kakashi must really not want to be on this mission. When he cared to, he could tolerate any idiocy with detachment. Perhaps something about Suigetsu just got under his nerves, or he was feeling aggressive today. It could be old baggage about Mist in general: he certainly had years of bad experiences with Suigetsu's home village that could be stirring up resentment.

Either way, they were both acting with considerably less dignity than they should be.

Wordlessly, Aiko grabbed the bottle held loosely in Suigetsu's hand and used her right hand to flick through four half-signs, compensating for the lack of both hands by flooding the technique. She wasn't actually generating any water—that burnt through her reserves like nothing else. Instead, she reached out into the air to take control of water particles in the immediate vicinity. The area that they were in was damp enough that it wasn't a strain like it was in a dry climate. As soon as she had a grip on a good swathe of material, she made her free hand into a fist and gave a violent downwards pull, affecting a field above her hand and forcibly condensing moisture out of the air into what was essentially a localized rain. Suigetsu lurched forward with another open bottle to catch what he could before the rest splattered on the ground. Between them, they ended with each bottle about a third full.

"That'll have to do," she said shortly, shoving the bottle she held back at the slightly older boy. He took it with a purposeful drag of his fingertips over hers, making eye contact.

Normally she might have been more gracious, but it was hard to restrain her irritation at the moment. Everything about this trip so far was just so stupid. Wasting chakra to shut up her companion's impromptu dick-measuring contest was irritating, but not nearly as much as watching them growl and poke at each other.

After a short moment, Suigetsu slipped on a smile as if it was a second skin. "Thanks, sweet thing," he purred. Nimbly, he tucked away both containers into the front of his hip pouch. He didn't move to put distance between them after he'd encroached into her personal space to fill his bottle.

Aiko stiffened at the nickname. 'Excuse me? How condescending is that?' He seemed to mistake her incredulous glance for something else, because he looked amused.

"It's hard to believe what I've heard about you," he leered. She rolled her eyes reflexively. That tone was a familiar one. It usually preceded an idiotic joke about her age or inexperience. "You're too nice, kitten."

'Wait. What would he have heard about me?' That troubling thought settled into her mind for a moment. He seemed like a guy with a rather one-track mind. Wasn't he supposed to be obsessed with—ohhh.

'He heard that I killed Zabuza.'

She gave him a cheery smile, which appeared to thoroughly unnerve the boy who'd been waiting for her miffed response. He recoiled.

'Oh, thank god. It makes sense now. He's trying to get on my good side because he wants Zabuza's sword. If he had it, he'd be carrying it. But doesn't that mean… that the Mizukage is intentionally keeping it from him? I probably shouldn't undermine her. Then again, she's not my Kage, and it'd get him off my back.'

"We're moving out."

Both teens straightened at Kakashi's tone. When Suigetsu realized what he'd done—instinctively obeyed orders from a foreigner—he gave a dark scowl at Kakashi's back. He probably sensed it, but he just started running.

'You know, come to think of it, Suigetsu might not be entirely wrong to get irritated when Kakashi gives him orders,' she realized, carefully not looking at either subject of her thoughts. 'He's an asshole, that's for sure. But he isn't under Kakashi's authority. I suppose he's just so used to assuming command that he fell into the role here.' Her mind drifted to her recently revised assessment of their Mist companion. 'Well, he could be doing it on purpose because he thinks Suigetsu is an idiot and he just wants to get this over with,' she allowed.

If that was the case, Kakashi had a point. If Suigetsu were to set the pace, it'd be an extra half of a day until they got to Mist. He appeared to be in no hurry.

 

At least Kakashi was mature enough not to appear irritated at all by the pointed comments that Suigetsu made over the course of the day, when they stopped twice more for breaks. There was no point in acknowledging the brat's attempts to rile him up. His silver hair had inspired asinine jokes about his apparent age since he was a teenager, and he was immune to much more clever taunts.

For all his faults, the run demonstrated that the pointy-toothed Mist nin was at least in excellent condition. Even better, he shut up when he was running, probably so that he could control his breathing. Gradually, Kakashi pushed the pace, just to see where the kid would plateau. Aiko had clearly been keeping up on her runs, because she didn't demonstrate any strain at all, but the boy started to falter about fifteen miles after he started playing with the pace.

Satisfied, Kakashi settled down into a steady ground-eating lope just as they broke through the tree cover and into the open plains. The open space let the unhindered wind whip against the uncovered portions of his face, sending his hair fluttering back and pressing his mask flatly against his lips. Almost immediately, he sensed the relief in the Mist boy and the tension in Aiko.

She always had been more comfortable in the near-tropical forest environments where she had trained. He couldn't blame her exactly—woods were excellent tactical cover—but she really should get over that preference.

'Hypocritical, considering I'm doing a rather poor job of freeing myself of preference,' he noted sardonically. He wasn't nearly as on-edge as Aiko seemed to be (she was outright crabby today) but he was far from content with this mission.

First of all, the idea of exposing Aiko to the Mizukage was just a stupid idea. She was a dangerous woman, and far too interested in one specific soldier. Who was to say that her next need for sealing expertise would be negotiated?

Besides, the Hiraishin was a double-edged sword. It was true that it required a considerable amount of trust for Terumi Mei to allow a foreigner to put a seal on her person, as it gave Konoha a sizable advantage if they ever decided to turn on Mist.

He wasn't about to deny the considerable tactical and diplomatic benefits of such an innovation. Any critical information could be communicated instantly, and Aiko could instantly move small groups of people in emergency situations whether it was to evacuate or bring reinforcements.

Their alliance would be all-but unbreakable as long as Konoha had constant access to the Mizukage. It was hard to believe that Terumi could have really considered the full ramifications of that, but if she had, it was a sign that their villages would be bound together in the long term. That was a breath of fresh air, making it considerably more likely that Konoha's interests would be protected as long as Mist was strong.

But giving the Mizukage a seal also introduced a proportionate amount of risk. It put more stress on Aiko long-term by adding to her responsibilities and increased the likelihood that she would be exposed to dangerous information and situations. It also meant that if Mist ever turned on them, it would be painfully simple for them to set a trap for Aiko by sparking chakra against her seal. They would almost have to kill her early on—it would be a waste to just destroy the seal, but giving her access to their village would mean that she could grab allies and flash in whenever she wanted. No one sane would allow an enemy that possibility.

It hardly seemed like Aiko was prepared for this in any case. He had no idea what Tsunade had her doing in the village, but she was tired and disheveled beyond what a few rounds on patrol could justify. Irritated, he clenched his jaw.

'It's not my place to question what Tsunade has her working on.' Unfortunately, telling himself that didn't help him forget the topic. Nor did reminding himself that Aiko was perfectly qualified to assess when she was in over her head, precisely because she never seemed to use that sense. She had a tendency to get caught up in a situation and treat it like an intellectual exercise—like it wasn't really her life, and she could just try again if it went badly.

It was a miracle that she hadn't gotten badly burnt with that nonchalance so far. You can only trust so many dangerous people and volunteer so much of yourself until you have nothing left. That was exactly what she had done by giving the Kazekage that seal. A spontaneous act of kindness to protect against an unlikely outcome had turned into a massive addition to her already increased duties.

To his eye, it was plain that she was in over her head and had yet to realize it. It was thoroughly unlike her to allow herself to become emotionally compromised on a mission. When he would use faux nonchalance and disdain, Aiko tended to use false cheer to disarm outsiders on missions. Clashing with Suigetsu was a bit petty of him, but it was much more uncharacteristic for Aiko.

The oddity wasn't just restricted to today. Her relationship with Naruto had been suffering, and she didn't even seem to notice. Two years ago, she would never have allowed herself to forget a promise to come to a team practice if Naruto asked her.

'Then again, they're growing up. They could just be growing apart.'

If that was the case, it wasn't mutual. Naruto had not been pleased by the slip, but Aiko really didn't seem to have even noticed. That implied either shifted priorities or a pronounced distraction.

Perhaps she was ill. If that was the case, she shouldn't be on this mission in any case.

 

They set up camp the first night at the edge of Fire Country territory, prepared to go through the checkpoint in the morning. Suigetsu looked unpleasantly surprised when their leader tossed two ration bars at him instead of suggesting that they acquire something fresher.

"You serious?" he skeptically pinched the green plastic-wrapped bars between two fingers and held them out from his body as if afraid to touch them.

"If you want meat, go get it yourself," Kakashi said shortly, before taking a deep breath and breathing a little spout of flames out to start their smokeless fire.

The boy grumbled, but he stalked off into the thin tree cover.

Aiko waited a few minutes to say anything, going about the regular motions of setting up camp until she was sure Suigetsu was out of earshot. "Any particular reason you drove him off, or is it just that he's irritating?"

Her captain didn't even look up at her from his slumped position on the ground. "Does it have to be one or the other?"

She leaned over to swipe at his ridiculous hair, making a rude 'pfft' sound. He caught her hand, and twisted to pin her with a serious look. "I don't trust this mission in general, or him in specific." His eye was unwavering, so dark that the grey almost looked black in the dim lighting. "He's too interested in you. He wants something."

"Remember when you told Mist that fib about me killing Zabuza?"

It had sort of been a fib, anyways. Technically it was true, but in the spirit of full disclosure… the outcome had been a total fluke because Zabuza had put himself in a tactically untenable situation. In a real fight, he would have stomped her flat in a few seconds. She'd just been lucky that he'd made the arrogant mistake of completely dismissing everyone but Kakashi as possible threats.

Kakashi looked baffled enough by the topic change to let her pull her hand away. She folded her legs to sit beside him and laced her fingers in her lap. "That's what this is about. He fancies himself a swordsman. Either he wants to fight me to see how he'd match up, or he wants information about the fight with Zabuza. Probably wants to know where the sword ended up. He has a real fetish for weapons, if the way that he went back to that Sound base just to pick one up is any indication."

'I'm really sure it's the last bit, but I can't definitively say that without any proof.'

"Hmm." His heel scraped against the dirt, leaving a shallow gouge when he bent one leg up and rested his elbow on his knee. It was a familiar posture. Generally, it meant he was thinking. "The idea that he wants to fight you is less than reassuring, but if he just wants the sword…" he trailed off with a shrug, lifting his chin to stare contemplatively at the few stars dotting the dimming skyline. "That can be tested easily enough. Tell him that the Mizukage has it."

"Bet he'll be pissed," Aiko added noncommittally. He could leave her alone once he knew that, or lash out in irritation.

Either way, she wasn't too worried. Suigetsu was dangerous, but so was she.

She got her chance to work the information she wanted to drop into a conversation the next day, as they were waiting for the boat that would take them to the first of Mist's outlying islands. Her captain was keeping a moderate distance—it had become clear that Suigetsu didn't want to talk to Aiko when he was around, instead preferring to make snarky jabs at the older shinobi. They were fantastically ineffectual, of course, but still an annoyance.

"Here." A small loaf of freshly-baked bread from the market came sailing into Suigetsu's personal space in a light underhand toss. He picked it out of the air without even looking.

"Thanks, sweetheart."

'Ugh, what a charmer.' The muscle under her eye twitched. Was he trying to provoke her, or was he really just that terrible at buttering a girl up? He talked like he was trying to get in her pants, not get information.

Maybe she'd been wrong about his motives?

"Actually, I should thank you in general," he mused with a pointed look back into the crowd at Kakashi, who was making his way towards them in a leisurely slouch. He ran his tongue along his lower lip. "Your grumpy old man friend would probably have tried to kill me with those Sound fucks. Pretty good break for me, huh?" The laugh he forced out was ugly. "I had no way of knowing we'd reconciled with Leaf, so I might have gotten in trouble for killing him."

'He's delusional,' she thought flatly. 'That is not how that fight would have gone. Kakashi would have left him a twitching, electrified puddle.'

That probably wasn't the diplomatic response. Not that Suigetsu was aiming for a diplomatic response. He was purposefully provoking Kakashi for some idiotic reason. Did he really think that she would take his side? Had he convinced himself that his status as Mist's liaison meant that he was safe from them? He was probably right, if that was the case. They would be in rather of a lot of trouble if he ended up dead.

"I think you know as well as I do that you don't owe me thanks for that. If the situation had been different, we would have killed you. It wasn't for your personal benefit." She shrugged with a noncommittal grunt. "It was a tactical assessment that you weren't a threat. I've fought Mist swordsmen before, and Zabuza was more of a challenge."

Okay, so she probably should have left the snub out. But he was acting like a tool, and she didn't appreciate the lack of professionalism. They weren't friends. He had no right to talk to her like that.

Suigetsu's fingers twitched as if they were around the handle of his sword. With exaggerated calm, he blinked heavy-lidded eyes at her and took a step closer. "Still," he purred. "You didn't have to vouch for me. Can't you take my gratitude?"

'Let's go with no, pretty boy.'

"I don't know why you're flirting with me," Aiko said bluntly, pushing past him to stand between him and Kakashi. It would be best to head this off as early as possible. "In fact, go flirt with him. He's much cuter." She jerked her head at Kakashi, who suddenly looked less than pleased by that turn in conversation. Defiantly, she met his eye with a stubborn posture. He looked away first.

 

'Cute? I most certainly am not cute.' Kakashi gave his subordinate an evil eye, wishing she would have the decency to look even a little bit scolded to assuage his wounded ego.

Honestly. Cute.

Aiko looked unapologetic, all confrontational stiffness in the tilt of her chin and poorly hidden vexation in her eyes. Ironically, the effect was somewhat cute itself. It was much harder to take her seriously when she lost her emotional detachment. She looked like she might put her hands to her hips and puff her cheeks out at any moment like she did when scolding Naruto.

'I swear she used to respect me,' he thought a little glumly, abandoning his attempt to cow her with a glare. That strategy would only backfire with the contrary mood she was in.

Said mood was 'confusing', as far as he could tell. She'd initially started bristling when Suigetsu made jabs at him, but then she'd made her own prod at him.

'Women,' he acknowledged dolefully, 'are mystifying. Or maybe it's a teenager characteristic and not a gendered trait? Perhaps it's just Aiko in general. Kurenai doesn't act like this. Then again, Aiko didn't used to either.'

 

Aiko stifled a grin at the put-out expression on her captain's masked face. It was amazing that he could be so expressive with three-quarters of his face covered. She'd probably pay for that in practice later, but it was totally true. Besides, if he was so concerned about Suigetsu creeping on her, then he could take one for the team and redirect some of that obnoxious attention.

Suigetsu didn't seem to know whether he wanted to laugh or scowl at being rejected. He settled for following up on her 'humblebrag' about Zabuza while they were on board a while later, leaning against the railing. "So, Zabuza, huh? What did you think of him?"

"Badly dressed and crazy," Aiko said shortly, cracking her neck and wishing for a sucker. She was in a mood for candy. Sugar in general sounded amazing, but she didn't think anyone would give her a packet of sweetener to lick up. "He was ridiculously strong, though. Shizune-san was the only person who could actually carry his sword. I had to seal it up to get it anywhere."

That wasn't strictly true, of course. Kakashi could have carried it. But Suigetsu would take that as implicit flattery because he was proud of being trained to wield swords like it. People believed and would dwell on what they wanted to hear.

Suigetsu gave a decidedly unsubtle smirk, leaning in. "Really? What happened to it? Are you going to use it, princess?"

Aiko took a step away. "No," she said shortly. "Of course not. We gave it back to Mist when the initial alliance was negotiated."

The boy at her side froze, muscles tense. Suddenly, she was unpleasantly aware of just how close and how physically strong he was. In close combat, he had a definite advantage, since she couldn't rely on a precision strike to take him down. He would just reform. No, in order for her to beat him, she'd have to either wear out his chakra reserves or get enough distance to use her slightly unwieldy lightning nature transformation. He was weak against lightning, right?

Out of his line of sight, she curled her left hand into a fist. If he tried to strike, she would Hiraishin to Kakashi.

Her caution was unnecessary, however. "I see." His face smoothed into a condescending sneer. He walked away without another word, slamming the door to his cabin behind them.

'I am glad we aren't sharing space with him.'

It was infinitely preferable to share a one-bed cabin with Kakashi than with Suigetsu, in no small part because Kakashi didn't trust the other teen. That lack of trust unfortunately meant that they slept in four hour shifts and she was quickly getting wearier every day. When left to its own devices, her body would sleep about six hours, and the missing time was wearing on her body. Her captain didn't seem even a little affected by the adverse conditions, but it was hard to tell what was going on in his head sometimes. Kakashi wasn't particularly open about his weaknesses.

 

Telling Suigetsu about Zabuza's sword had both good and bad outcomes. He did back off of Aiko, proving that he wasn't really that interested in her as a person. On the other hand, his attitude became even worse. They had to make trips between three different islands in order to get to the main village, but Suigetsu stalked off as soon as they were off their first ship and didn't come back until they'd missed their planned voyage.

Aiko might have asked him what the hell he'd been doing, if it weren't for the fact that he came back infinitely calmer and reeking of blood.

Mildly queasy, she exchanged an uneasy look with Kakashi and inched a bit closer. He didn't let on to his thoughts at all. Actually, he didn't even seem cranky about having been ditched for half a day. The sleepy slouch was one of his defense mechanisms for when another human being might have openly had an emotional reaction.

So he was probably unnerved as well.

'I take back all the slack I gave Suigetsu. There is something very wrong with him. I don't know if it's baggage from his time with Orochimaru or that he's a psychopath on his own merits, but either way, that is not the mark of a stable individual.'

She swallowed over the lump in her throat, trying to ignore the cloying stench of blood. It took a moment to cut off all the chakra circulation to her olfactory system. Handicapping her senses wasn't a particularly appealing concept, but there was a good chance that she'd throw up if she had to stand in close quarters with Suigetsu for hours otherwise.

If they had been in Fire Country, they would have killed him on the spot for hunting civilians for sport. But in his home country they couldn't legally do anything but report him to the Mizukage. They might, but it probably wouldn't go anywhere. Not on the word of two foreigners.

It wasn't a particularly auspicious re-introduction to Water Country.


	69. Chapter 69

What had been a cramped street billowed, her citizens pushing backwards and into the building faces as if she was a breath a fresh air pushing out musty curtains. Amused, Mei allowed a politician's half-smile to come out and soothe her people, but didn't make any more concessions to their comfort. It was important to portray regality at all times in the public eye.

That aim was made significantly more difficult by her silly bodyguards, but Ao and Chojuro were far too amusing to split up even if they weren't a matched set. They each had their uses: a tool for each situation. Sweet Chojuro was soothing and protective, a slightly nervous presence that reminded her people that shinobi were people just like them, their very human protectors. Ao was the face of the establishment, hard and polished and likely to gruffly intimidate others into falling into line out of fear and respect.

They were good tools, and good friends, even if they bickered like children. Mei was hardly above a little bickering and provocation herself.

(If she was, she definitely would not have hired on three pool boys (with a minimalist, water-proof uniform she'd chosen) to be her aides. Ao got all red and logical, trying to remind her that she didn't even have a pool. As if that was relevant. She was the Mizukage, damnit. She deserved better.)

The pavilion she and her retinue trailed to was a relatively new addition to Mist, both in a factual physical sense and as a concept. It was an attempt at transparency. Although her guards would be securing the area and keeping any interlopers at such a distance that she may as well be in her tower, being able to see the Mizukage doing business reminded her soldiers and civilians that she was there, amongst them and not just a demon hidden out of sight. The legacy of Yagura's madness had given her some tribulations to work past, but with some effort Mei could separate herself from his image in the public mind.

She seated herself like a queen, rubbing the bottom of her sandals against the white stone and feeling the draped purple fabric flutter against her back. The little girl from Konoha was already seated at the round two-person table, somehow managing to look both comfortable and dignified in her much smaller chair.

Ao and Chojuro split, taking positions around the open building. Chojuro started walking the perimeter, giving shy smiles to anyone who wandered close enough in the open city block. Ao somehow managed to look stern, despite the scent of imported flowers (Mist needed a new public image in general, not just the Mizukage's office) and the sun pushing offensively cheery light into the gloomy ambiance he carried with him.

"Ao, stop lurking in shadows. Actually, why don't you go found a 'Pouty One-Eyed Shinobi' club with the cutie over there, so we can actually get some work done?"

There was nothing quite like making everyone else uncomfortable with just a few words. It was a power she relished.

Of course, the little girl didn't look that bothered. She could fix that, starting with some good old inappropriate familiarity. "Aiko, isn't it? It's lovely to see you here so quickly." Her smile felt like a sword cutting through the otherwise innocuous setting and the bubbly crack of the mango juice she poured into her iced glass. "Drink?"

If Uzumaki Aiko felt unsafe, drinking fruit juice at a table piled high with iced treats with the Mizukage, there wasn't a sign of it in her expression or body language. Mei had to like that about the girl. She was either an idiot or daring. Either trait could be twisted to suit her purpose.

"Thank you, Terumi-san."

She bared her teeth in a mockery of a smile. "Please, call me Mei, darling."

That did garner a reaction—a tiny one, as Aiko's fingers twitched around the glistening, clear material of her glass. But it was enough to register as a minor victory.

'I'm not here to play with a teenager's head,' she scolded herself despite her amusement. It was just so much fun to ruffle feathers. Batting Aiko around a little wouldn't harm anything, but it would be much better to pursue her real aim.

Konoha was still locked in their idiotic grudge with the northern powers. Mist had no such strong enmity from Rock and Lightning, having been rather preoccupied with internal complications.

A year ago, she could have played the two sides against each other. Three years ago, Sand was a wild-card half ideological ally. Now, she was linked to Konoha and Sand, struggling to rebuild Mist in her own image. The strategies that she had mulled over as possibilities in the dark years contemplating treason against her mad predecessor were defunct.

It was now impossible to survive and thrive by lightly committing to allies. If she were to turn on Konoha, they would smother her. That did not mean that she wanted to be caught in between the northern powers and her alliance. Konoha was currently the most stable in their alliance by far, and they shared a border with Wind country. If war did break out, geographically isolated Mist might well be the first target.

They were not ready to have wolves at their doorstep. She was working on it, but untangling the mad policies that Yagura had inflicted on her people was harder than it sounded. He had driven off the workers who supported the infrastructure that they needed to stand on their own, while simultaneously sabotaging their relationships with the foreign powers who could make up for those losses.

It was no wonder that Nadeshiko had come to Konoha at the same time that they came to Mist. If the Hokage hadn't pulled them into her protection, Mei might well have raided them for their resources. Nadeshiko hadn't been ravaged like Mist had, but they were a small village, as well as ill-suited to warfare. Their economy was largely agricultural, meaning that they would defend their territory fiercely but be easily tricked out of their lands to avoid destructive ninjutsu clashes that would devastate their economy. Re-building Mist's population required food and resources for the merchants, craftsmen, and workers they needed to draw, and they had little in the way of self-sufficiency for food production.

Alas, taking what Nadeshiko had to offer by force was no longer an option. The next best thing would be to improve their relationship to get what benefits she could from them without draining them dry. (And catering to Nadeshiko might just be the way to keep that hot-headed Raikage from messing anything up on a grander scale, she couldn't help but note).

That didn't only apply to the small village under their protection, of course. She had a long list to work on. Mist needed to completely revamp their image in the international perspective. Mist needed to pacify their allies' enemies. Mist needed to be an attractive prospect, both to clients and businesspeople, a goal completely separate from military strengthening.

Or did it have to be? Sand had negotiated personnel exchanges with Leaf. Something similar might benefit Mist's shinobi in future, while working to tie themselves inextricably to their strongest ally. That possibility was for later, however.

If Mist was enhanced by this alliance, the best outcome was to end up so dear and near to Leaf and Sand that the idea of harming them was anathema at the same time that they pushed back the possibility of open conflict before she was prepared. She had to bring as many of her international counterparts onto the same page as possible, no matter how reluctantly they were there.

Mei wouldn't grovel, of course. Her chosen plan of action had a more dignified personal touch.

"I'd ask you to call me Aiko, but you already have." Ao glowered at the insolence, but Mei found herself charmed by the slightly ironic, dispassionately factual way that the Konoha kunoichi subtly called her out on her poor manners, despite their disparate stations. What an odd little duck. Most people would have either ignored her rudeness to keep the peace or been angry enough to outright confront her.

"Was your guide to your liking?" She wasn't entirely sure she was pleased that Konoha hadn't killed him. Suigetsu was annoying. Then again, he was fearfully strong and held some sort of loyalty, so discarding him would be a waste. Her resources were more than a bit skewed and strained towards the genin she had been churning out and the old, hardened veterans who really should be making way for the next generation of elites. Ao was in his forties: no matter how strong he was, he had a shelf date rapidly approaching. Chojuro was young, but he wasn't an entire generation. Perhaps she should get Zabuza's sword out of storage and send Suigetsu out to sow fear, remind people that Mist still had strength.

"Suigetsu?" Aiko looked to be considering her words carefully, leaning back slightly with a dreamy expression.

With some jealousy, Mei noted that the flushed coral of the lips her teenaged companion pursed was a natural color, and ran her tongue self-consciously inside her own painted lips. Her own skin was rather unflatteringly uniform without cosmetics.

"He's a bit of a creep, isn't he?"

Mei choked on nothing, squinting at the girl across the circular table to catch a fleeting hint of amusement. 'I suppose that's payback for my jab earlier,' she thought with amusement. 'Cheeky brat.' Aiko's silver-haired model of the 'Disgruntled, One-eyed Jounin' cliché appeared to be resisting the urge to put his palm to his face. So the attitude was definitely a personal touch, and not coming from the Hokage.

"Be that as it may, I see you arrived safely," she deflected easily. They weren't here to discuss Suigetsu's faults.

'Will she be thick or cocky enough to dismiss my hospitality by claiming that he was a hindrance or unnecessary at best?' That would be a rhetorical mistake that Mei could take advantage of by feigning offense. Even when she had consciously planned not to play these games, it was hard not to. She so seldom had willing participants.

"And boy, am I grateful for that," Aiko said with an ironic smile that added just a hint of mockery, running her bare nails through her hair. A couple gold-tinted strands caught on her fingerless gloves to shine in the light before the breeze tore them away.

Ao cleared his throat, not too obedient to refrain from reminding them to get on to business. Mei sent a playful pout his way. "Oh, look at how grumpy the boys are getting. I did so hope that they'd be able to play nicely while the grown-ups talked."

That managed to garner a slightly disbelieving look from Chojuro, but the older men were too disciplined to really react. Cutie just looked bored by the proceedings, if anything.

How disappointing. Mei sighed. "May I suppose that your presence confirms that you are the seal master I've been hearing so much about? It's hard to say that I'm surprised. I was already impressed." She pushed back the auburn hair that was struggling to escape, barely managing to keep it from reaching the iced cherries in her bowl.

A modest shrug pulled at the drab blue fabric Aiko wore on her chest. "I've been told that you suggest using Hiraishin as an emergency communication system?" Out of the corner of her eye, she noted that Aiko's protective escort gave a strange, abortive twitch. Perhaps not everyone was happy about that concept, she noted shrewdly.

But it was hardly her job to cater to Cutie's comforts (though she suspected it might be a nice extracurricular activity), so Mei honored Aiko with a genuine smile. "In the event of the unforeseen, instantaneous communication could make all the difference." Unbidden, she thought of Konoha's traditional ally in Uzu, not so far from the place she sat now. They had been undone in a day, besieged and unable to call for aid. The Uzumaki in front of her might have been having similar thoughts, if she even knew of her heritage. Mist had a long history with Uzu as well, amiable enough if not as friendly as Konoha's. There were still some within her village who remembered that day.

"I agree." Aiko seemed to be consciously not looking at anyone in particular, gaze lifting above Mei's shoulder. "I do not mean to patronize, but I have to ask if you're familiar with the implications of what you propose? The idea of letting seals out of my control is unappealing, and there are precautions to take."

"I am well aware," Mei sighed. Where was the trust? "I would not let your gift out of my possession."

"No, you wouldn't," the teenager agreed with a strange sort of amusement. "I can only agree to give you a seal directly attached to your person."

Well, that wasn't planned at all. Her surprise might have shown. "I thought it was meant to be applied to weaponry," she protested , a little cross at new information. Aiko didn't budge or offer any new information, just a slight tilt of her head and an impassive stare. "That would require a lot of trust," she half-pouted. "You could be putting anything on me. Compulsion, loyalty, anything."

"Giving you the ability to summon me at any moment into unforeseen situation requires a fair bit of trust as well."

It was hard to argue with that dry tone. Somehow, Aiko managed to pack condescension and amusement into an otherwise bland statement. She almost wished for a more traditional diplomat, who would at least pretend to be apologetic, or lose their temper so that she could manipulate them. Irritably, Mei flexed her leg muscles under the table and gave serious consideration to changing her mind. Then again, she had already counted on getting the seal and working to make Konoha trust her as they did the Kazekage. It would be hard to compete with the irrational favoritism without engendering some level of personal fondness. In order to do that, she needed to increase her access to Konoha. Besides, she could hardly ask Leaf for a gesture of trust and then reject the offer because it required commitment on her end as well. That was unfortunately transparent and likely to make them trust her even less.

"Oh, fine," she conceded lowly, tapping her fingertips against her glass and risking a sip to give herself time to compose her answer. "What sort of precautions are we talking about?"

Somehow, Mei managed to pay attention through a shockingly dull recitation that she suspected had come straight from the Hokage's lips. It was sensible stuff, of course, about the circumstances that merited using the seal, what Konoha would not be liable for, and not a few subtly hidden threats to her person if she misused it. None of it surprised her in the least. "Anything else we need to discuss?" she asked, tilting her head up slightly and allowing her eyelids to mostly close to convey just how bored she was by the conversation in a way that would annoy, but couldn't be remarked upon.

"Just two things." Aiko gave a friendly-looking smile, leaning forward and abandoning her serious attitude. "Firstly, I'd like to caution that you be very careful about anything that might be misconstrued as tampering with the seal. It wouldn't end well. Secondly, where would you like it? I would suggest someplace that is normally hidden by your clothing, because it can become visible when you channel chakra."

Mei was surprised enough to outright laugh, shaking her head. "You just want to get me out of my top," she purred, faking a virginal blush with a hand to her face. There was a sudden awkward tension with their bodyguards. "Did you take advantage of the Kazekage so shamefully as well?" Mei planted one elbow on the table and leaned forward, pinning Aiko with a serious expression.

Hatake Kakashi seemed to cringe, waiting for the answer. Did that mean she really had? That had been a joke…

"I never undress and tell," Aiko deadpanned.

There was an awkward moment of silence, broken only by the distant sounds of the academy children on break shouting something.

Mei had to snort, throwing her ladylike pretense out the window. "You're no fun, Aiko-chan". She let her hand swipe the air dismissively, as if pushing away a dissatisfactory topic. "I think I can refrain from seal experimentation, and I don't care where you put it. I assume you have the supplies you will require?"

Aiko's mouth twitched, but Mei really didn't see why that was amusing. "Of course. Perhaps we should seek out a modicum of privacy. I hadn't anticipated such an unconventional meeting place."

 

She had ended up painting the seal on the Mizukage's upper thigh, and giving a matching design to Shinji (who had shot up a shocking three inches since she'd sealed the three-tailed beast into him) on his left shoulder. The idea was that they were easily reachable, so that the bearer could put their hand over the seal without drawing too much attention.

It would have been subtler to give the chakra-pulse type seal, but it was probably a good idea to restrict information about what she could really do and what her seals looked like. Applying seals with merely touch was a rare enough skill that most people would assume they knew what to look for when searching out hidden sealwork.

The trapped portion of her seal had been applied as an interwoven, invisible pulse, although the lock was in ink.

'I almost feel a little guilty for turning the Mizukage into an explosive device,' she thought with just a bit of shame, giving a longing glance out the porthole to check the moon's position and gauge the time. That tinge of conscience didn't prevent her from expecting to sleep easy on the overnight boat portion of their journey home. As was habit, she had taken the first watch and cautiously woke Kakashi from a distance. (She had been thoroughly traumatized years ago by ending up underneath him with his hands around her neck when she dumbly shook him awake, and despite his apologies and assurances that it wouldn't happen again had never re-enacted the situation). Blearily, his dark eye cracked open, as if to tell her to go away, but after a second he heaved a sigh and sat up, one hand trailing up to fuss with the mass of hair at the back of his head, oddly loose without the forehead protector holding it up.

Something thudded in her chest when the covers fell to his waist, but that was stupid. He was fully clothed, even if his flak jacket was sitting on the nailed-down dresser.

'Is it weird that he seems so sleek and… well, naked, without that bulky jacket?' Her captain was still wearing his dark blue shirt and mask, but she was powerfully aware of his presence.

It was probably lucky that he didn't look at her. Kakashi rubbed at his face for a few moments, but then gave a subtle stretch and slunk across the room to pick up his equipment. Aiko hurriedly took her own off, piling her hip pouch, thigh holster, and the stiletto blades hidden in her boots beside the bed within arm's reach before crawling in to savor the lingering body heat. Her enjoyment may have been a little too obvious, however.

"Are you entirely certain that you're not a lizard?"

'No, I don't do that tongue thing.'

That would baffle the hell out of him, so she didn't say it. She pushed a hand out of the covers she had burrowed into to give him a rude gesture. "Pretty sure I still qualify as a mammal, even if I don't generate a ridiculous surplus of body heat."

It was hard to hear the sleepy grunt he gave in reply through the fluffy blanket over her head. "Maa, why so testy?"

'Now is a terrible time to feel playful,' Aiko huffed into her pillow. 'Stop being adorable when I need to sleep.' Had there been an extra pillow, she would have thrown it at him then. There was a good risk that she wouldn't get it back if she tossed it. Kakashi could be a bit of an ass sometimes. "Good night, captain," she forced out instead with more irritation than she really felt. Traveling was much less stressful without Suigetsu lurking about. At least he appeared to be mostly over his mood now that they were on their way out of Water country.

He left her alone to take up a silent vigil after that, but it took some time to get to sleep. Planting two wandering seals in Mist brought to mind something odd she'd noticed about her seals lately. If she had guessed, Aiko would have hypothesized that the more seals she had active, the harder it would be to distinguish what seal belonged to whom and where they were. But the opposite was true.

Aiko had never had a particularly good head for maps. She could actually get lost in Konoha if she tried to approach a location from a different direction. There was a damn good reason that she preferred to let Kakashi navigate on missions out of the country or where she had never been.

Bizarrely enough, having several stationary seals and others that moved around them was doing a miraculous job for improving her sense of direction as her ability to keep track of seals increased. Her sense of the unique pull that each seal had was becoming much easier to interpret. Even now, as she was drifting off to sleep, she could distinctly keep track of the still seal attached to Mei in her home, know that Shinji, Sai, and Hinata were all sensible enough to be sleeping, Naruto had forgotten his kunai again while training late with Karin, Yamato was on his way back to Konoha from Vegetable Country, and Gaara was pacing in what she was pretty sure was his home. (She'd never been where he was exactly, but he wasn't quite in his office and he spent a lot of time in the area).

Her sense of awareness of each location was astounding, and she really didn't understand how it could be possible. The change did present a good opportunity to implement an idea she'd never gotten around to using. Currently, she only had two planted seals. One in her apartment, and one in the house. They would pass by one of Konoha's border stations tomorrow. It couldn't hurt to discreetly plant a Hiraishin seal there and start scattering them about at convenient locations.

'Kakashi has been so disapproving of this whole venture, though,' she sighed, pushing her nose into the pillow that was still scented like his hair. Would he try to tell her not to? 'Why would he?' Aiko tried to reassure herself with logic. 'He doesn't like the Hiraishin being used in ways that could endanger me, like giving it to Gaara and Mei. I can understand his point there. But leaving them hidden in Konoha's territory is practical. I could get around much faster, and no one else has to know where they are.'

Still… Maybe she should avoid the conflict altogether by excusing herself to the ladies' room when they passed by and hiding her seal when no one else was around.

That was exactly what she did the next afternoon when they hit the outpost. Kakashi gave her an odd look when she excused herself to go wash the dust accumulated in travel off of her face, but seemed to accept it as just another inexplicable-but-harmless thing that Aiko did when she actually came back with clean, pink cheeks.

'I feel positively Slytherin-y,' she giggled, trying her best not to look especially suspicious. Maybe it was cliché to leave the seal on the underside of the sink, but it was a pretty good hiding spot. Even a Hyuuga would have a hard time spotting a delicate chakra construct on the underside of the tap.

Her good mood lasted until they made it to the farming town that their path led them by. On their way out of Fire Country, they had skirted it entirely, but when they weren't consciously working to confuse and disorient a foreign nin, the straight path was the best way. Unlike Naruto and Sasuke, they generally didn't talk while traveling at high speeds. It wasn't likely to end in any sort of accident, but there also didn't seem to be much of a need. It was a little unusual that Kakashi actually chose to be the one to break from silence when they stopped for rest in preparation of a long push the rest of the way home (and Aiko was seriously considering asking if they could just try and see how well she could carry a passenger home, never mind that she could only take them to Yamato or her bedroom. Yamato would be delighted to suddenly find Kakashi on his lap, she was sure).

"Just out of curiosity, are you planning on making it a new habit to miss practice?"

Aiko recoiled in surprise, giving Kakashi an odd look. He didn't even appreciate it, as he wasn't paying attention to anything other than the sky and the chopsticks he was flicking around from finger to finger. With a sigh, she conceded that he wasn't going to contextualize that admittedly cryptic conversation start without prompting. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, I don't know." The cheap bamboo chopsticks clicked together in some staccato pattern only he knew the significance of. "Didn't you promise Naruto to come to two different practices last week?"

She actually had to think about that one, but when realization hit her, her face flushed. "Oh, shit!" she exclaimed inappropriately loudly. (Inadvertently scandalizing the proprietor of the restaurant they had stopped into for dinner). "I completely forgot, didn't I," she half-groaned, fisting her hands into her hair and letting her face flop down. 'I'm an idiot. Just a complete and total idiot.'

"I suppose so."

Suspiciously, she peeked at him through her fingers, wondering if Kakashi had spontaneously developed telepathy. Then she realized that his reply fit with the last thing she'd said aloud, and groaned again.

"I'm so stupid. I bet Naruto was upset with me. I completely forgot about him." Her head hit the table with a thud.

Unsympathetically, Kakashi yawned and set his chopsticks down for the staff to pick up. "Be that as it may, I think I've been about as helpful as I can stand. If you need to talk more about your weird emotional problems, you'll have to find someone else."

"Does that mean we're going?" Aiko managed to pull herself out of her sulk long enough to look out the window and wince. The heavy humidity had turned into an ugly, grey, evening drizzle. She really didn't want to go out into it. "Ah… How would you like me to give you a ride home?" He twitched oddly, but she didn't try to think about it in depth. Aiko was busy batting her eyelashes and channeling cute. "You know…" She wiggled her fingers at him, tilting her head and staring hopefully. "I bet Yamato would be delighted if we dropped in on him." She wasn't quite thick enough to talk about her Hiraishin at a random diner, but he would know what she was talking about.

'Oh yeah, this is why I wanted Hiraishin! To make my life easier.'

Kakashi seemed to stare in disbelief for a moment. "That is lazy," he said after a long silence. Aiko shrugged, not about to deny the charge. "You just don't want to get your hair wet, do you," he added flatly, after he'd thought about it for a moment. At that, she shrank down a little sheepishly.

"It gets frizzy," Aiko muttered into her chest, glaring down at the edge of the table.

"Well, tough." He stood, insufferably amused. "We're only a few hours away. I think you can make it."

'Jerk,' she thought somewhat mutinously, abandoning the pretense of persuasive adorability. With a huff, she stomped out into the rain. Almost immediately, her hair plastered heavily to her face and back. 'I probably should have tied my hair up before we went outside,' she realized with a frown. 'But still… He could just let me take us home. It'd only take a minute and I haven't done anything like Hiraishin into a tree in a long time. Either he doesn't trust me, or he's just asserting his authority for authority's sake.'

"Are you really going to pout the whole way home?"

Teal eyes narrowed into a glare at the back of his flak and the irritatingly smug drawled tone, but she was slightly glad to start moving. The faster they ran, the sooner they would be home. "You're drunk on your own power, and I'm not talking to you," she sniffed.

"Right." She could practically hear him rolling his eye at her. "If you want to get home so quickly, why don't you set the pace?"

"Don't mind if I do." Aiko sprang ahead of him, trying to find the absolute fastest pace she could maintain the rest of the way home and regulate her breathing.

After a moment, Kakashi caught up with her and she could see him running in her peripheral. "I thought you weren't talking to me," he rumbled, doing a passable job at faking curiosity.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "That didn't count. I wasn't making conversation; I was just acknowledging that you'd said something. It only counts as conversation if you're adding something new to the discussion."

"Did that sentence count?"

Her cheeks tinted pink, even though the cold had drained them of all color and heat before. "Oh, shut up."

"I thought you were the one who was mad and refusing to speak?"

"No, it was definitely you."

Asshat. He was such as asshat.

 

Omake

Another way Mei could have begun their conversation:

"I see you've brought Tall, Dark, and Squinty with you again." The Mizukage jerked her head at the pillar where Kakashi was leaning, giving the surrounding area a gimlet stare as if expecting one of Mist's citizens to run at them shrieking with a paper shredder or something.

That particular statement was odd enough to jar him into paying slightly more attention to Terumi Mei than the inquisitive civilians lurking within a highly suspicious two-hundred meter radius in the park.

"But-" Aiko furrowed her brow. "He's not…" She glanced uncertainly at Kakashi, with his light tan and silver hair. "He's not very dark, is he?"

"No, but he is excessively squinty," Mei added solemnly, lacing her fingers on the table. "And rather tall. But mostly squinty."

Aiko breathed in through her nose and twisted to look at her captain again. He was very consciously slouched in his usual attitude of nonchalance and general disregard for propriety. His face was angled slightly down, but she could still sense an air of supreme displeasure and the hint of a glower. If he wasn't wearing that mask, she thought she would probably see a pout. She turned back to the Mizukage.

"Okay, I guess he's a bit squinty."


	70. Chapter 70

Donkey shrunk down a little further in grudgingly given sympathy, not really paying attention to his own spar. Fish gritted his teeth and pushed the older man, trying to get him to focus. It was a lost cause.

“Are they really that fascinating?”

His subordinate jolted at the exasperated tone, glancing back at him. “No.” Donkey snorted. “Just glad I didn’t get paired up with the rookie. She must be on the rag.”

His eye twitched, and Yukimasa reflexively moved to swipe Donkey’s feet out from under him and unceremoniously spill the older man onto his ass. “Inappropriate,” he scolded lowly, putting away his blade to turn their match into taijutsu. _‘Not to mention it’s an idiotic comment to make. It seems far more likely that Aiko-san has a personal grudge against Boar to work out.’_

Despite the hypocrisy, Yukimasa’s eye wandered over to the other spar. He cringed a little as the big man barely dodged yet another barrage of those bizarre glowing chains, getting his standard short-sword tangled up in a failed attempt to block them and having to abandon it. Oh- no, not completely dodged. That was just cruel. Yukimasa resisted the temptation to cover his own behind to ensure that he didn’t get spanked. How embarrassing.

‘ _Whatever Boar did, he probably deserves the workout,’_ he tried to tell himself. But really, to be honest… ‘ _Better him than me.’_

In a head-on fight with intent to kill, he knew he would be able to overpower Butterfly. But that repertoire was completely out of reach in a training match. As far as he could tell, she was both exponentially faster and more vindictive than he’d pegged her as.

A grudge could explain her enthusiasm, but the drastic increase in speed was frankly baffling. There were more than a couple times when he literally could not see her move. It seemed as though she was suddenly in another position without even moving to take a step. His best assessment… ‘ _It’s creepy. Really creepy. I should probably ask her what’s going on. Either that or work on my own speed and perception time until I can figure out how she’s doing it.’_

Most of the time, he could see the purpose of her bizarre bursts of speed—she was pushing Boar into a corner, or pulling away his weaponry, or otherwise harrying him. But occasionally she flickered somewhere and then immediately moved, as if she’d miscalculated the first time. So she probably hadn’t mastered whatever she was doing to increase her speed, or at least hadn’t mastered her ability to perceive as quickly as she could move.

Yukimasa didn’t particularly treasure the possibility of being outmatched by his youngest soldier. Finding out that she wasn’t nearly as much of a rookie as he’d initially thought was a good thing, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be surpassed so soon. He’d always thought that he was speedy himself.

He shook his head, casually sidestepping Donkey’s attack and letting the other man take the offensive entirely, only blocking and dodging. Donkey’s hits hurt, but strangely enough his attention kept being drawn to his elbow where Butterfly had touched him to get his attention at the start of practice. He could swear that her chakra signature was lingering… But that was ridiculous. Of course, it was in the one place he couldn’t look at, he scoffed quietly. Typical. So his paranoia would just have to fester.

With a frown, Yukimasa determined that he would have to follow up on that later. It hadn’t occurred to him at the time, but it was unusual for her to touch him, and she’d… she’d actually touched the other two as well, hadn’t she?

_‘Methinks the rookie is up to something tricky…’_

His lips quirked into a smile under his mask as he rolled to the left and darted from pole to pole in the training ground, Donkey hot on his heels.

‘ _It almost fits. She didn’t speed up until she got her first hit in on Boar, and then he couldn’t avoid her at all.’_

But he just couldn’t think of a way to connect that. She was a tracker, so it wouldn’t surprise him if she had a way to zero in on a target that required some sort of physical contact for a genetic sample or something, but that couldn’t possibly explain how it could help her when she already had an opponent within short-range.

 _‘If I can’t figure it out in a month, I’ll ask her,’_ Yukimasa promised himself silently, holding up a hand to signal that practice was over. It would be a blow to the ego to have to come slinking to her for information, but better that than do nothing about apparently being far slower than he’d realized. Three masks swiveled to take him in, and he had to blink for a moment to readjust to the situation mentally and recall what he needed to say.

“We’re on patrol tonight. Dismissed until 2300 hours, team.”

They were just barely too disciplined to groan about their on-call status being bumped up to active duty, but shuffled off. Yukimasa was eager to take advantage of what relaxation time he could, even though they only had about three hours. He spent his time taking a shower, raiding his aunt’s fridge for leftovers (she was the best book in Hi no Kuni, he’d swear it on his headband) and flopped down for a short nap before he re-dressed in uniform and met his team. They seemed good-naturedly resigned to the extra shift, though admittedly it could be hard to tell when they were all masked and silent.

 _‘There’s something exhilarating about running a four-man team through Konoha in the dead of night.’_ The wind was whipping through his hair, his heart was pounding, and his unit worked in perfect unison covering their patrol designation only by the grace of shockingly white starlight. It seemed like the city was theirs at this time of night.

 _‘Rather romantic musings,_ ’ he chided himself, not really feeling guilty about his good mood.

Donkey and Butterfly stiffened in unison. He caught the movement in his peripheral, but had sensed the intruder so soon after they did that he hadn’t had time to wonder what was wrong. He pushed slightly farther ahead of the group, pushing them to fly down out of the cover provided by the rooftops to land in a diamond around a figure in one of Konoha’s outskirt training grounds.

“Name and identification number,” he demanded brusquely.

Occasionally, shinobi were out training in the dead of night. There wasn’t a problem with that, at least when there wasn’t a wartime curfew. Inadvertently intimidating poor, hard-working Chuunin was the most entertaining thing that usually happened on these patrols, but it wasn’t a big deal. They would stutter out their information politely, white-faced and clearly unnerved by their ANBU protectors.

This person—a woman, he thought it was a woman—blinked at him. “Of course.” Slowly, she reached up to cover an involuntary yawn- that turned into a spray of what had to be a liquid poison. Shocked, Yukimasa jumped back, noting that some of it had made contact with Butterfly on his right, and grabbed for his sword.

“Capture, not kill!” he barked, throat nearly closing up.

That didn’t mean that they couldn’t maim her, of course. She just had to be able to be taken into interrogations.

Heart pounding, he swerved inward, catching the fist that flew at his face- and then blinked stupidly when a shock of those blue-colored chains sprang out and wound around the intruder. She looked just about as surprised, comically wiggling like a worm with her hands bound awkwardly (one snugly held to her torso, the other poking out and still caught in his grip) before she teetered over with a _whumph_.

Boar cleared his throat, shifting his weight from foot to foot uneasily. “Well.”

“What?” came the muffled reply, sounding honestly perplexed. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no.” Yukimasa stifled a snicker. _‘Just something anticlimactic, I suppose. Whoever taught her had a very poor flair for the dramatic.’_ He knelt, pulling out a length of wire from his hip pouch and beginning to secure the prisoner in a more permanent fashion. “Could you move this bit- yes, thank you.”

He bit his lower lip in concentration, completely binding both of the woman’s hands before he moved to secure them together so she couldn’t even try to whack them with her wire-wound hands. As he worked, Butterfly obligingly wiggled the chains keeping the woman immobilized, at times moving them up or out, dissolving a few links altogether, or shrinking an area to wire-sized tendrils that left him plenty of room to maneuver while still keeping their prisoner still. He had to take extra wire from Boar—this woman was rather tricky, and had nearly managed to get a leg free to kick at him. She was cursing up a storm now, but he paid it little mind. When he was done and Butterfly had slipped the last of her chakra generated chains off, he patted their prisoner’s head just once before slinging her over his shoulder like a sack of rice.

The mask hid his grimace. She was heavier than they looked, but it could have been all the metal restraints. “Donkey?”

It took a moment for the man to catch on, but he stepped forward and put his hand to the woman’s forehead to force pulse of chakra in that caught her in what was probably a rather nasty sleep genjutsu. At least she stopped struggling. It would have been rather embarrassing if her wiggles managed to put him off-balance. He wasn’t the largest man.

“Lovely.”

Surprised at her tone, he glanced up—and blanched. “Ah. That was an acid that she spat earlier, wasn’t it,” he said rather faintly.

If it was possible to communicate a glower from behind a mask, that was exactly what was happening. It could have just been his imagination though. _‘I feel a little guilty… I should have realized that she was injured before now.’_

Butterfly must have dodged most of the spray, as the only damage he could see was splotches of blood poking out from holes in her left glove that had not been there before. Just droplets, then. She must have miscalculated the force used and how widely it would spatter. Idly, he noted her move to clench and flex her hand, as if making sure it was still in working order.

As the highest ranking member, he’d taken it upon himself to keep the rookie close in their formations. Unfortunately, that did increase the likelihood that she would get caught up in attacks meant to take out the largest threat. As she had today.

It was the type of injury that would be discomforting, but nothing that a half-decent medic couldn’t fix given half an hour and a large quantity of sanitary water, he assessed. _‘After we report, I’ll take her to the hospital to get patched up.’_

“Boar, Donkey. Take the intruder to the holding cells and report to Ibiki-san. You’ll be at his discretion for your next orders.”

They nodded in unison, and Boar moved to pick the woman off his shoulder and into a princess hold. As they left, he turned to the remaining member. “Come.”

The order was probably unnecessary, but he thought it polite. At this hour, the Hokage was certainly not in her office, but all reports of actual intruders had to be made directly to the highest authority for further orders. Doubtlessly Ibiki would send out at least another full patrol to check for any other breaches in security, but Tsunade might have more insight.

He found the woman in what looked to be her bedroom, sleeping in—“oh my,” Yukimasa said faintly, hoping to god that he wasn’t about to get a nosebleed while the Hokage moved to pull on a nightgown.

“What is it,” she barked.

Eyes still averted, he swallowed, hard. “Reporting an intruder in sector two, Hokage-sama. She was taken captive and should be in Ibiki’s custody by now.”

A lowly ANBU had no reason to expect the Hokage to pay attention to him, but he still felt a little uneasy when her gaze drifted right over him. “Is that all?” At his nod, she rubbed at her eye. “Alright then. Come here, Aiko-chan. What happened to your arm?”

His heart dropped to his gut.

 _‘I’m dead.’_ Yukimasa realized dully. ‘ _Not only did I not get some random rookie as a snub, I must have been assigned someone important. Someone the Hokage knows by name. And I let some amateur hurt her. I’m a terrible captain, and I’m dead.’_

* * *

 

Aiko sighed, rotating her wrist and periodically bending her elbow to be sure that the new patches of skin didn’t stiffen. She was lucky, really. If she had gone to another medic, she would have shiny patches of scars dotted on her arm.

 _‘I wouldn’t have gotten burnt at all if I wasn’t a twit in the first place,’_ she moped, giving a sad little kick that scuffed at the floor as she struggled out of her uniform one-handed.

It was embarrassing, but it probably served her right. She’d been beaming under her tacky little mask about getting so much better about using three moving Hiraishin tags to navigate. (It was hella hard, especially since that bastard Fish just wouldn’t stay still while she’d been working out her frustrations on Boar. Fish was _fast_.) Making a rookie mistake like underestimating the way that stupid acid was going to carry on the wind was just karma for getting arrogant.

Tsunade had dismissed Fish (and good thing too, he’d been terribly twitchy) and healed her right away. Of course, that had meant that Aiko was sitting on the edge of Tsunade’s bed and wincing with her eyes squeezed shut while the Hokage grew her new skin when a shame-faced messenger from T & I had come by to sheepishly admit that their hostage had woken up and used some sort of suicide technique.

He hadn’t given details, but he’d had a bit of what looked to be brain matter in his hair and more than a bit of blood on his front, so Aiko had taken a guess.

At least seeing her had reminded Tsunade to take her ANBU team off active patrols and first reserve lists. She was really starting to feel stressed and like she had a little too much to juggle at once. Aiko was only free from regular ANBU duties, but that probably also took her away from her Root project, since she hadn’t moved to actively sneaking around.

At this point in time, Tsunade was hoping to gather what information she could about Root’s infrastructure before she made a move against Danzo. If it fit her fancy, she could have had him arrested at any time. But that would have left him with an unknown amount of resources with unknown orders. The more that she could find out – where and how many bases they were, what financial and human resources they had, what Danzo was trying to do and might have as safeguards if he needed to be rescued from the law—was better, as far as the Hokage was concerned.

Of course, nothing could be perfect and her break wasn’t complete. She’d immediately been given other orders for a project she’d start in the coming week. At least it would be less time-consuming than ANBU patrols and guard shifts interspersed with occasional midnight summons from Danzo.

‘ _At least, it is since I have Hiraishin,_ ’ she reminded herself wryly. ‘ _If I didn’t…_ ’ Aiko shuddered.

Apparently Terumi Mei had included a proposal for some sort of conference in the documents she had sent back in Kakashi’s care. Among other things, she was angling to get included in the Chuunin exam rosters, so that she could boost her tourism and mission requests.

Thankfully, Aiko had dodged that bullet. She hadn’t managed to evade getting stuck as the designated messenger/delegate from Konoha to help Terumi put together the conference. Tsunade hadn’t gone into much detail, but she understood a fair bit of what was going on. Terumi was looking to adjust her contracts with pretty much every country that she could. In order to be competitive, anyone who had anything to do with Water Country would have to send representation to ensure that they didn’t get stiffed. Of course, if half the countries in the Elemental Nations were sending representatives, then the other ones would get suspicious and sneak in to be sure they knew what was going on, so Terumi was skipping the middle man and obligatory spies by just inviting them all in the first fucking place.

Supposedly, Nadeshiko was the other host for this event. In honor of that, it would be restricted to kunoichi participants.

Tsunade had growled something to the effect that Terumi just wanted to make things difficult and didn’t want to let the Raikage into her country.

_‘To be fair… I’m not sure I could blame her.’_

Aiko had never met the man, of course. But his reaction to Gaara’s call for international action had been a pretty poor first impression. The Raikage couldn’t actually be a total idiot, but …

‘ _No, there’s no point in lying to myself,_ Aiko snorted. ‘ ** _Of course_** _he could be a moron. That’s what happens when you choose your leader by strength instead of intelligence or political mien. Them’s the breaks.’_

She toed off her boots, not bothering to fix them when they fell over. The only sound that greeted her in the apartment was her fridge humming. Aiko grimaced, half-wishing she’d taken a tv from the other house so she could have some background noise. It felt like she was living in a cemetery sometimes. To fill the air, she absentmindedly began singing whatever came to mind under her breath. ‘Kiss the Girl’ had turned into ‘Mac the Knife’ by the time she found what she had been looking for in her room.

“Aha!” Triumphantly, she flicked through one of the notebooks she’d filled while traveling with Jiraiya and Naruto. He had shown her something that at the time had seemed paranoid and stupid, but now… “Why wouldn’t I want to put up a seal that prevents foreign chakra constructs from getting into my house,” she muttered under her breath, half-mocking herself but partially serious.

It was a nasty little piece of work—or she’d thought so when she looked at it last. At this point, it seemed gloriously simple. Unlike the last seal she’d put up, this one hardly needed to be interlaced into the overwhelming security system that spider-webbed through the apartment, over walls and across the ceiling.

Instead, she ran a simple line around the borders of her apartment, tracing the baseboards and crown molding to ensure that she had specified the relevant area in all three dimensions, and attached the threads to a single seal that she tapped onto the ceiling. She bit her tongue between her teeth and breathed slowly as she did it, less because the seal required concentration and more because she had to do that part while perched with one foot on her kitchen table and the other braced against the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room.

If her balance had been any less good, she probably would have hurt herself falling when the seal flickered into being, out of pure shock.

“Ah!” She slipped and dropped to the floor in a crouch, tears rising to her eyes and both hands cradling her jaw. _‘Owww.’_ Aiko swallowed, as if that would end the burning on the very back of her tongue, almost to her throat. ‘ _How on earth did I forget about that?’_

 ** _Of course_** her root seal was using Danzo’s chakra. It was just a little trace, but it was enough to cause discomfort. It faded to manageable levels even as she focused on breathing calmly, and after a moment she waveringly rose to her feet and stumbled to her bedroom with one hand to her temple.

By this point, the pain had radiated out to give her a seriously wicked migraine. She couldn’t let that distract her, though. The notebook she had been working out of had provided an array that would allow her to adjust the wards to let certain chakra constructs in. She was going to have to allow the Root seal, potential problems be damned, because she couldn’t live with this in her own home.

 _‘Again, I’m an idiot,’_ she berated herself, trying to concentrate on the details she was reading. It would be important that she adjusted her wards to accept just the root seal, and not Danzo’s chakra in general. She didn’t want the man himself being able to send clones or the like in her apartment, no matter how unlikely that was.

‘ _It may have been easier to just tolerate Sai’s stupid ink roaches. Why was it never ink butterflies, or ink puppies?’_

The thought had been meant to convince herself into taking the seal down entirely, but instead it bolstered her to focus better on the modifications she needed to make. No more fucking roaches, thank you. Granted, she didn’t see a reason for him to spy on her any longer, now that they both knew the other was in root. But still, as long as Danzo was paranoid, there was a chance that people would be spying on her, and that just wasn’t acceptable.

Even after she struggled through altering the seal (and thank all the kami that she’d gotten around to replicating it, because otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to tailor the security seal to allow Danzo’s chakra when in a root tattoo), her headache lasted. It faded, though, so she pawed through her cabinet for pain relievers and swallowed two down dry because the thought of waiting for tea was unappealing. She made the tea anyways, of course, because it helped her get to sleep and she desperately needed that.

 _‘I really don’t want to be alone_ ,’ she realized, feeling oddly lonely.

It was a little late to do anything about that, though. It was four in the morning at that point, and she was feeling far too worn down to stay up until nine am to meet with team seven. Aiko could be pretty rude at times, but she wasn’t feeling bold enough to bother anyone at such an awful time just because she wanted company. She was far too old to climb into bed to cuddle with Naruto now anyway.

Hot tea settling in her belly, she set her alarm for eight twenty and pulled the covers up to her chin. What little sleep she got was fitful, but that was a problem she periodically had and nothing new.

“I feel like shit, and I probably look like shit,” Aiko muttered when her god-awful alarm when off, but dutifully pulled on the first outfit in her drawer and avoided mirrors. That part was easy, since the only one was in her bathroom attached to the medicine cabinet. The heather grey leggings and sleeveless top set with a peach skirt she had found most certainly did not fit her mood at all, but she couldn’t muster the effort to give a single fuck, or the determination to sort through her mostly dirty mission appropriate attire for something plainer and more somber. Awkwardly, she gathered her hair into a messy spritz high on her head while attempting to shove her feet into her boots, an apple held between her teeth all the while.

At least the juice and sugar from the fruit seemed to revitalize her on the short trip over to the training grounds where she could feel everyone else congregating. Naruto was already there with Yamato and Sai. Kakashi was lingering by the memorial stone, but she still didn’t have a tag on Sasuke.

_‘I should take care of that today. I might as well ask him, though, instead of just sneakily touching him. No matter how funny it is to see Yukimasa trying to see the end of his elbow, it’s not really morally upright to do that to comrades.’_

She’d been a bit gung-ho about planting her seals wherever and on whoever took her fancy lately. But when the target in question was a teammate who already knew about her Hiraishin, she might as well be honest. As she walked up to the group, she noted that they were only waiting on Kakashi. It figured.

‘ _Then again, Sai doesn’t necessarily know about Hiraishin, and he’ll be there._ ’ She frowned contemplatively, distracted by her earlier train of thought. ‘ _I don’t exactly plan on telling him that I tagged him, especially not with an explosive.’_

“Morning,” Yamato nodded. She gave a grunted reply an instant before Naruto seemed to spot her and launched into some discussion that she couldn’t focus quite enough to follow. His enthusiasm did make her smile, though.

“What?” she asked distractedly, turning to blink at Sasuke. He’d muttered something.

Sasuke frowned, creasing his forehead. “I asked if you were alright. You look terrible.” Behind him, Sai looked up and gave one of his clinical once-overs, seeming to catalogue her hideousness for himself.

She gave them both a dirty look. “Thanks. You really know how to perk up a girl’s ego.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Sasuke scoffed. “Your eyes are glazed and you’re clearly half-asleep.”

When all he got in reply was an imperious sniff and a raised jaw, the Uchiha rolled his eyes and seemed to give up. Yamato got them all started on some conditioning while they waited for Kakashi to show up. Aiko couldn’t help but wonder about what such a large group would do. Six people? It was a little ludicrous. Really, this was two different teams that just happened to both be headed by Kakashi. She felt a little out of place practicing with Naruto and Sasuke. Yamato gave her a weary look that communicated he might be on the same page.

“-why you gotta be such a bastard all the time-”

“Same reason you’re an idiot, probably,” Sasuke jeered, flipping a bit of bang off of his face and pushing to touch the tree that he and Naruto had established as the goal first.

Sai looked confused at it all, but kept longingly veering closer to the bickering boys. Yamato heaved a tired groan, but his expression brightened almost immediately after.

She would have known that visible relief meant Kakashi had shown up even if she couldn’t feel the seal he carried.

“All right boys, break it up,” Kakashi sighed. He didn’t sound particularly invested in whether or not they listened, but they stopped shoving each other long enough to pay attention. “If you’re really feeling that frisky, save your energy.”

Naruto was practically vibrating with excess energy. “Can we have a battle royale again?” He pumped a fist and crowed, “Yes, yes, yessss,” when Kakashi nodded with an amused air. “Last one standing picks where we go out for dinner!”

“No,” Sasuke interjected with a cruel little smile. “If Kakashi isn’t the last one standing, he buys dinner for everyone.”

“Now hold on just a-”

“Alright! Kage Bunshin no jutsu!”

What followed was hideous chaos. Aiko had reflexively taken higher ground to get out of the mass, but Yamato had jumped after her almost immediately. ‘ _Alright. I should use this as time to practice more triangulation. It’s probably going to be even harder with extra seals around to choose from and not everyone on the ground level.’_

Thus committed, she pulled on seals and bounced around like a rubber ball. At least, that was what it felt like.

Sometimes it worked really well, like when she tugged on Kakashi’s stationary seal (he was hiding in a tree) along with Yamato and Sai’s in order to spring herself up behind Yamato, completely baffling him.

Other times… Well. It only happened once, but she was ridiculously glad that no one was paying attention when she accidentally materialized a foot to the left of the tree branch she had aimed for and started to fall. Her expression was probably embarrassing. After a while, Naruto seemed to catch on that she hadn’t been hit at all, and veered away from the three-way fight he’d been having with Kakashi and Sasuke to provide Yamato with an assist.

She might have had to worry if Sai didn’t side-swipe him with a magnificent ink cockatiel, which he then rode to higher ground when Naruto staggered to his feet ready to knock Sai’s block off.

“Aiko, switch me!” her otouto rasped, turning to barrel at Yamato instead. She snickered.

“Of course.” She crouched and sprang straight upwards as if she planned to jump directly up to Sai, despite the fact that he was far too high for that to work. There was just enough time to giggle internally at how much this could fluster him when she used Sa i’s seal to rubber band herself directly above his ink bird and land like fucking Batman.

Sai was too disciplined to look surprised, instead moving to confront her with taijutsu as much as was possible in the limited space they had. When his split attention caused the bird to veer off course and tilt over, he jumped straight off.

She probably should have followed, but instead she sprang up to the bird’s head and spread her arms wide, grinning into the artificial breeze. “I’m queen of the bird! Wheee!”

It wasn’t quite ‘King of the Mountain,’ but it was close enough to rouse competitive feelings in Sasuke. Light-footed, she trotted off the ink beast even as it crashed, ducking under his initial blow and weaving around him, letting her arms sway and not even attempting to get her own hit in. _‘He looks so serious,’_ she giggled, easily flipping backwards and landing facing him. His eyes widened and he moved to say something, coming at her with a fist cocked. She readied herself to grab his fist and use him as a brace to flip over the blow-

The next thing she knew was pain in her upper back and that her nose was in the dirt. Dizzily, she braced her palms on the ground and attempted to push herself up, swaying a bit.

“Sorry!” Yamato called out from somewhere behind her. He really did seem apologetic. “I was aiming for Sasuke.”

“You suck!” she managed to hack out, collapsing onto her side. “I’m out. Avenge me, Sasuke!”

 _‘At least I didn’t even break a sweat and I’m not gross. That was an abrupt ass-kicking. I forget how powerful his wood ninjutsu really is,_ ’ she thought, feeling terribly sorry for herself while the now five-sided battle raged around her. That thought cracked her up. It hurt to laugh, but she couldn’t help it.

Apparently, that was just a little bit too strange, because her teammates turned some level of attention to her.

“I could swear I didn’t hit her head!” Yamato called, sounding a little panicked. “Sasuke-”

“No, I’m fine,” she gasped, wiping away tears. “It’s just- I was thinking that your wood is soooo hard, Yamato,” she crooned, curling further in on her side.

The silence that followed was aghast, only broken when she collapsed into a fit of giggles, slapping the dirt. “I don’t know you,” Naruto muttered, an inappropriate grin stretched across his features nonetheless. Yamato looked like a tomato.

It took another six minutes of merry hell, but Yamato and Naruto apparently decided that they wanted a free meal enough to work together. She watched with interest while Naruto scattered what she would have assumed were pre-prepared explosive seals and over charged them while Yamato penned everyone into a wooden cage to prevent Kakashi from sneakily escaping. The seals turned out to be paralysis seals. She managed to dig into some reserve she didn’t know she had in order to laugh at his morose expression when he woodenly fell over, resigned to paying for lunch. She dragged her sorry carcass over and picked at the chakra threads restraining him, grinning all the while. “I’ll pay for half of lunch,” she offered. “Since we were the first two out.”

He heaved a sigh and gave her a very sad looking stare.

“I’m not paying for all of it. You lost, fair and square.” Her lips twitched. “No arguing.” The last bit of the seal unraveled with what seemed to be a sense of a snap to her, and her eyes flickered to watch the chakra she could sense but not see. It dissipated when she didn’t try to hold it together, wisping away into its two components and then to nothing. She had wondered if he had bought the tags, but it really was Naruto’s chakra, so he’d made this on his own. Impressive.

She looked up to find that her captain was giving her an odd look, having traced her gaze to see there was nothing there.

“The seal network,” she explained vaguely, waving a hand. “When it snapped, it…” Aiko trailed off. “What?”

Kakashi’s brow was furrowed, but he just shook his head. “Nothing, nothing. You’re talking about sealing concepts that are over my head again.”

She scoffed, shoving him with a shoulder. “You’re a lying liar who lies.”

“I’m serious.”

Aiko rolled her eyes. “Yeah, whatever.” She drew her knees up and rested her elbows on them, wincing a little at what felt like a massive bruise on her back. At least it wasn’t so bad after she’d managed to get her breath back, but it sort of felt like she’d gotten in a fight with Gai. Yamato really was formidable in a fight, even if he was rather silly outside of it. “You’re just propping up my ego, like how you let those two catch you.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Her reply was a withering glare. ‘ _No way do I buy that. He let them get him out of the match, probably because he was bored with sparring.’_

She pulled up a bit of grass and tossed it at him instead of continuing to argue. In companionable silence, they watched the shifting alliances and fights among the remainders. A glowering Sasuke was the next to join them, followed by Yamato. The last fight made her shift uneasily, twisting her fingers together.

“Maybe we should stop them,” Aiko ventured.

Kakashi shook his head. “I think it’s best to let them fight it out and get this out of their systems.

Displeased but obedient, Aiko watched Naruto and Sai go at it. They’d abandoned all finesse in favor of beating on each other with their fists. She cringed, covering her face with her fingers, but peeked out with one eye nonetheless. It wasn’t pretty. She couldn’t quite hear, but they seemed to be arguing, and Sai actually looked visibly upset.

-even have any feelings-

-such an-

-Of course I-

“Wow, that’s ugly,” Yamato muttered, scratching at his head. He gave an awkward laugh. “Those boys really want to be able to pick dinner, huh?”

The joke fell flat. So did Sai, physically pinned by about 150 lbs of angry, confrontational Uzumaki.

“Alright, that’s enough.”

Naruto took a long moment to get off Sai, but huffed, stretching, and turned to the group.

“Whatever you say, nee-chan. Kakashi, I hope you’re ready to buy a whole lot of ramen.”

Sasuke groaned and started some argument about lunch, but she was focused on peeling Sai up off the ground. He followed silently, a little depressed looking. It tugged at her heart strings, so she moved closer to his side and stretched her arm over his shoulder. At his inquisitive look, she shrugged sheepishly. “I’m barely standing,” she lied, giving a fake smile that was much more convincing than his because she knew to crinkle her eyes and duck her chin to feign embarrassment. Wordlessly, he tucked an arm around her waist to steady her.

Of course, her sneaky way of getting a half-hug in backfired on her at Ichiraku, where the group kept an embarrassingly close eye on her as if they thought she was about to sway off her stool. At that point, she could hardly claim to be fine without Sai realizing that she’d just been trying to distract and comfort him, so she scowled and bore the mothering as patiently as she could. Her vice was probably pride—it galled to let people think she was less capable than she really was, but she could do it in a pinch.

Worst of all, the difficulty she was having focusing on conversation and the yawn that came unbidden indicated that perhaps she really should be lying down. Granted, it was because she was sleep-deprived and not because of injuries, but she really should be more disciplined than to yawn in public.

Her pride might be stinging, but at least she had her self-satisfaction to keep her warm on cold nights.

 _‘I think I was right earlier.’_ Aiko pushed her empty bowl away and drummed her fingers on the wooden bar surface, waiting for the boys to finish eating. ‘ _Sai is unconsciously leaning closer to me. He may not have realized it, but he definitely wants physical affection.’_

Not surprising. Touch was a human need, and he’d been denied a lot of the things that humans need. If Naruto really had hurt his feelings, he would be more vulnerable than usual. Either he would open up or shut down… making today a good opportunity to work on making sure he was emotionally reliant on her and less loyal to Danzo.

“Also, what the hell was that, Aiko?”

“Huh?” She glanced up. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“The thing you were doing in practice,” Sasuke clarified for Naruto, leaning forward onto his elbows. “It wasn’t quite…” His eyes drifted to Sai. Pointedly, he finished, “the usual thing.”

_‘Was so, just because I wasn’t ending up anywhere near you guys doesn’t mean anything.’_

She gave an intentionally catlike smile, turning her face up. “Not telling.”

Sasuke scoffed, but abandoned the subject. Kakashi slumped slightly out of her notice, apparently not willing to ask but curious as well.

Underneath her stool, she tapped her boot against the metal bar and tried not to grimace. Kakashi had been doing that ridiculous trick where he distracted the others before taking off his mask to eat, and was now slumped contentedly in front of three empty bowls. Her stomach hurt in sympathy just thinking about overeating like that. Yamato was futilely trying to hold a discussion with Ayame, who was staring wide-eyed at Kakashi and none-too-subtly tugging at her clothing. Teuchi was cheering Naruto on in what appeared to be an eating contest with Sasuke.

_‘There is no way that can end well. Sasuke doesn’t even like ramen.’_

With a scrape, she pushed her stool back to stand and bent to dig into her boot for the pouch she kept inside. “What’s the bill, Teuchi-san? I’m paying for half.” Intentionally, she swayed just a bit. Subtle enough that it looked as though she was attempting to stay steady, but drastic enough to catch Sai’s attention. Straight-faced, she counted out bills and laid them out on the counter, noting his conflicted attitude out of the corner of her eye. “I’m heading home, guys.”

Sai didn’t say a thing while she waved and exchanged goodbyes with those few who were paying any attention at all, but he stood and walked with her as if there had never been a question. She didn’t call him out on his spontaneous chivalry. It would be a mistake to make him feel uncomfortable.

He might turn her down if she invited him in. So instead she just held the door open and moved to the side as if there was never a question that he’d come in, taking off her boots and gesturing to a pair of house slippers. “Those are for you.”

With strange reluctance, he switched out his foot gear. Maybe he thought she was going to steal it when he wasn’t looking? Ridiculous. She’d only do that if he ran off with the house slippers.

‘ _Don’t smile_ ,’ she sternly commanded. ‘ _No matter how cute his uncertainty is, do not smile._ ’ Sai didn’t appear to know what to do in her home when not spying on her, so she determined that she would have to play hostess properly to avert awkwardness. “Why don’t you have a seat on the couch? Do you need anything?” He was silent, so she moved to fill the air as she started tea to get the taste of lunch out of her mouth. “I was hoping to show you the next book Ino wants to get published, since they liked your other illustrations so much.”

When she came out with tea, he’d found the book in question on her coffee table and was paging through it. She set their cups down relatively close together and sat down at his side to peer over his shoulder.

 _‘Damnit, not another yawn._ ’ Vexed, she rubbed at her cheek with the hand that wasn’t cradling her hot beverage, but it was a losing battle. Somehow she managed to focus enough to at least begin a discussion, but hell if she could remember a thing that they said. Whatever it was must have worked for Sai, because he pulled out his sketch book and began to languidly trace something out.

He was looking like a really good pillow at that point in time.

 _‘I was just noting that he longs for human touch,_ ’ she justified, unknowingly pouting. Black eyes flickered from her and back to the paper. _‘It’s not just a nap, it’s a step towards my ultimate goal. Does that story logically hold together_?’ Aiko rubbed at her eyes again. ‘ _I think it does.’_

She turned onto her side, pushing her feet out to the far end of the couch and letting her head drop in a smooth motion.

Sai stiffened as if he was afraid the head on his lap was about to turn to bite him.

“Washboard?”

“Can I take a nap, Sai?” she muttered into his tummy, curling her knees up into the back of the couch. With her nose poking into his bare skin, Aiko couldn’t see the slightly wild-eyed look he gave her, or that his grip on his paintbrush shook slightly. ‘ _He didn’t say no…’_

When she woke up, it had probably been less than an hour and several sheets of paper were drying on the table. Content, she stretched, smacking her lips and curling her toes into the far end of the couch. As she moved to snuggle further into her pillow, it moved strangely. In silent protest, she moved with it, nuzzling into the crook of whatever comfortable spot she’d found, rubbing her cheek against some slightly rough fabric.

At that, her pillow had apparently had enough, jolting awkwardly. The sudden movement woke her up a bit, and she registered that her nose was digging into where the waist of Sai’s pants gave way to his bare belly.

“Washboard, may I relocate you to a more appropriate location?”

_‘But this location is a comfortable one…’_

With some effort, she planted an arm on the side of the couch to prop herself up just enough to look at him with half-open eyes. “But I’m enjoying myself,” she purred, scrunching up her nose cutely. “What could be more appropriate?”

And his pupils dilated slightly.

 _‘Wait,_ ’ Aiko realized, heart thudding in surprise. ‘ _He’s affected by my physical presence on a more visceral level than I realized.’_

To test her new hypothesis, she snaked her right arm around his neck to support herself and arched her chest very subtly forward with a bigger breath than usual so that it brushed his own.

His reaction was slight, but more than enough to damn him. Sai glanced down, his eyes widened slightly, and his breath hitched.

 _‘He looked down,_ ’ her mind crooned. She didn’t bother to smother her smile. ‘ _Helloooo, boytoy. Still, I should be sure. He would be an amazing hook-up, and it would help keep him close, but he might not be interested beyond the physical. If I could be certain that it wouldn’t be emotionally damaging for him, Sai would be a lot of fun to play with.’_

No better way to find out than to ask, she supposed.

“Sai… Is this okay?” Aiko transferred her weight to the arm around his neck and traced her left hand down his cheek. He swallowed. “Sleeping on you and touching, I mean. I’m enjoying it.”

“You are?” He blinked, sooty lashes brushing his pale cheeks.

“Mmm,” she hummed, trailing her fingers down and tapping her nails on his shoulder. “This is the sort of touching that teammates and friends can do, you know.”

Sai looked shaken. “Washboard. I do not know how to do the things you are talking about.”

“Not knowing how can be fixed,” she pointed out steadily.

He looked severely shaken. “That would be inappropriate. It would be fraternization. I was trained not to engage in unwise emotional attachments.”

“That’s not a no,” Aiko breathed, lightly massaging at his neck, dragging her thumb along his spine.

A muscle jumped in his jaw. “It isn’t,” Sai agreed slowly, looking stunned by his own daring. When she waited, an eyebrow raised, he eventually amended, “Yes.”

Using her arm around his neck to steady herself, she leaned in and pressed her lips directly to his on an impulse, chastely for a moment, then moving slightly down to tug at his lower lip with both of her own, lightly nudging his nose with the tip of hers.

When she backed up enough to check his expression, Sai’s gaze was unfocused for just a moment before snapping on her in shock. She gave him a cheeky grin. “Have I ever told you that you’re wonderfully cuddly?”

“What?” a thin line appeared between his eyes.

“Sai, Sai...” She nuzzled his cheek. “I’m hitting on you.”

He blinked at her.

“Is this like Icha Icha Makeout Paradise?” Sai tilted his head slightly to the side.

Aiko huffed in amusement, cupping his face. “It could be. What page are you thinking of?”

Bang Bang Bang.

Both of them jumped. For Sai, seated properly on the couch, that meant very little. But Aiko’s lack of balance and distraction ended in her falling off his lap onto the floor with an unwieldy thump, feet still up on the couch cushion.

Snort.

Slowly, Aiko looked up. “Did you just… laugh at me?”

“No,” Sai said quickly, face wiped clean of any emotion.

_‘Mildly embarrassing. But also a good sign.’_

She narrowed her eyes, and crossed her arms across her chest, giving him a stern look. Pretending to be miffed taxed her acting abilities, so it was probably lucky that the bastard on the other side of her door knocked again. Aiko tossed her head back and groaned. “ _Seriously_?”

Sai braced his feet on the edge of the couch and pivoted over the back to land gracefully on the other side and pulled open the door. Aiko had just managed to get to her feet in time to see surprise register on Ino’s face.

“Oh. That’s convenient.” She pushed her way in the apartment past Sai, waving a package. “Good news, everyone. Mail’s here! I thought we should open it together to see what had happened with the first print.”

“Thank you, Ino,” Aiko grumbled under her breath, slumping. ‘ _Great. Just great, you mood-killing harpy.’_


	71. Chapter 71

“I began using my art for my missions and training at a young age.”

“Oh?” Aiko raised an eyebrow. ‘ _I don’t really see why you’re bringing this up now, though it is nice to see you confiding in me of your own volition.’_

Unaware of her thoughts, Sai mildly continued, “It is best that your superiors know of your unique strengths, so that they can most wisely allocate resources. Do you not agree?”

She bit her tongue instead of replying.

That would have been an odd thing to say under normal circumstances, wavering on the line between a banality and a sign that he needed more practice initiating conversation. When he was escorting her to meet with Danzo, it took on an entirely more sinister tone. ‘ _Is he… warning me that I can’t hide things from Danzo?’_

That was all Sai said on the matter, and she didn’t push. He’d made his point. He probably shouldn’t have done even that, if she was reading him right.

 _‘Though, what could he be talking about? He mentioned unique strengths, so he could be hinting that Danzo knows about my chakra chains or Hiraishin.’_ Aiko kept her face blank, dully staring forward as their footsteps echoed in the tunnel. ‘ _It shouldn’t shock me that Danzo could know about Hiraishin, which he’s much more likely to be interested in than the chakra chains. If Mei figured out that there was truth to the rumors and eliminated Yamato as a possibility, then Danzo certainly could.’_

“Danzo-sama,” they muttered in unison, Aiko hastily taking the bent-kneed position that Sai modeled.

“You two leave on a mission tomorrow evening.” Danzo’s knees creaked when he moved to sit down, air escaping from his chair with a rush of sound. “Information has turned up a possible location for one of Orochimaru’s many abandoned bases in northwest Grass. I would expect that a tracker of your supposed ability should be able to find the truth of this matter. You will lead your senior agent in securing the premises, if there is anything to be found, and retrieving any sensitive information for my perusal, especially anything regarding experimentation. The time for this mission is short, in order to ensure that your absences are not noted, so you may waste no time. You have a day at most to search the area. The other pertinent details will be released to you tomorrow. I trust that there are no questions?”

They remained silent, though Aiko’s mind was racing.

_‘That’s a two day trip. He has to have known that Tsunade put me on leave. The timeline he’s given us makes it incredibly risky. If anything at all goes wrong, then I would be late getting back in the village and someone would report me missing.’_

Root could only operate in one of two ways. Either the agent took on extra orders in missions legitimately assigned outside of the village where no one was observing, or the agent’s actions were hidden from the Hokage’s scrutiny. By far, the easiest way to do that was for Danzo to train his own agents and keep them off Tsunade’s radar entirely, like Sai had been in the past. If she didn’t know the soldiers existed, she wouldn’t wonder where they were if she called them in for a mission and they weren’t around.

The other option was to work around the sometimes flexible assigned breaks that shinobi were allotted. Obviously that was risky.

 _‘Definitely Hiraishin_ ,’ Aiko noted grimly. ‘ _He’s testing me without making it obvious. Danzo wants to see if I’m loyal enough to tell him about a resource that could make this mission easier of my own volition. That’s why Sai warned me.’_

“Danzo-sama,” she started quietly. When he gestured her to continue, she swallowed. “A thought occurs. I believe I am capable of transporting the two of us back into the village safely to allow extra time to complete the mission.”

“And how would you do that, child?”

_‘Keep it simple. Don’t talk more than you have to. There’s no way of knowing what else he knows. Don’t offer any more information.’_

“Hiraishin.”

She couldn’t see his expression through her lashes, with her head bent as it was, but Danzo seemed to have a pleased air. “Excellent initiative, agent. In that case, spend as much time in the area as possible before returning to a secure location.”

He would have reacted differently had he actually been surprised. Thank the kami for Sai giving out hints. Danzo had been testing her loyalty. But that didn’t explain everything.

‘ _Why would he give me a mission with just Sai? Much less one where I’m at least nominally leading._ ’ That night, Aiko took a walk around the village, trying to clear her head. ‘ _It seems serendipitous for me, especially since Sai is emotionally compromised. Really, emotionally conditioning agents the way that Danzo did was stu-’_

“Ow,” she hissed, holding a hand to her throbbing head.

Strange. That headache had turned up again suddenly. Her eyes burnt a bit, but a few moments of massaging her temples mitigated the pain. “I’ve been having a lot of headaches lately,” she muttered, lacing her fingers and giving a stretch upwards to unwind some of the tension in her shoulders that was probably contributing to her recent spout of migraines. There was something odd about it, but she couldn’t quite put her fingers on it. ‘ _It’s probably nothing. Stress, maybe.’_

Disturbed, but not quite cognizant of why, Aiko ducked into the first bookstore she wandered by and picked through the shelves for something to work on in her spare time. She hadn’t been feeling creative enough to do any writing for a few weeks, but she felt the need to do something.

 _‘I used to read all the time,_ ’ she mused, running her finger over a section label and poking inside book covers. ‘ _Back when I was in the Academy. I think I burnt through just about everything of interest in the public library._ ’

To be fair, ‘of interest’ meant something very different than the types of things she wrote nowadays. Despite writing things that she found frivolous but enjoyable, her reading tastes leant toward more serious subject matter. It was hard to want to write up academic theory in a world where it was not only coming from an incomprehensibly different state of mind, but also an unwanted opposition to ideological tradition. Entertainment was much easier.

“Oh, the new one is out,” Aiko realized, blinking at the bright cardboard display. “Jiraiya is a busy man… What does that make, like twenty books?” She picked up a copy and flipped through it to be sure she wanted to read this one, ignoring the salespeople and customers who gave her dirty looks.

With that book tucked under her arm, she eventually picked out one more text and made her way to the front counter. It didn’t exactly look thrilling, but the treatise with short histories on the interactions between shinobi villages other than Konoha would probably be good background information to have if she was going to have to work with others. It wouldn’t take her long to read, in any case.

That was one thing that had always baffled her about Kakashi, actually. He was a brilliant man, but he took a ridiculously long time to make it through his Icha Icha books. She might have thought that he just happened to be a slow reader, but he could pick through a mission brief in less than a minute if he was inspired to.

 _‘To be fair, he might be savoring the experience of books he actually enjoys,’_ she hypothesized, tossing her academic book on her bedside table and beginning to read her frivolous book while she prepared dinner one-handed.

Aiko was definitely not that type of reader. She read everything at top speed, and retained a large proportion of it. It would be a lie to say that she had perfect recall, but it was good enough for government work.

That speed was the reason that she had torn through her new Icha Icha book and placed a bookmark in page seventeen of her more serious selection before she finally turned in for the night. Restlessly, she did her best not to think about her mission or what she’d just read in an attempt to get a decent amount of sleep for once. After what must have been half an hour, Aiko eventually resorted to staring up at the ceiling and trying to think sleepy thoughts.

It must have worked, because she managed to clock a full six hours of rest before her mind was too awake to let her rest any longer, even if her body felt like 125 pounds of dead weight. The sunlight streaming in tricked her into opening her bedroom window. She immediately winced and slammed it back shut, flicking the lock.

“Nope. It’s way too fucking cold for that.”

Thus forewarned, she dug out a warmer pair of form-fitting pants and an oversized blue standard issue sweater like Kakashi’s or Yamato’s to layer over a tank top and gloves for the day.

“And now I only have… four hours to waste until practice. Great.”

It was tempting to skip practice altogether. Team seven wasn’t her team, after all. It was strange and uncomfortable to act as though it was. But she had agreed to come when it fit in her schedule. Aiko rolled her eyes at herself in the mirror while she washed her face for being such a damn chump, but obligingly planned her day around a workout with team seven.

When left to her own devices, she preferred to do her conditioning the very first thing in the morning, with fruit and water as fuel. If she needed to do more intensive training for a certain skill set or something, she would usually do so in the afternoon so that her body had recuperated enough for her to push her limits again. Team seven under Kakashi’s direction didn’t follow her (entirely sensible, she thought) patterns at all.

They did pretty much whatever occurred whenever it occurred, depending on who showed up, in what order they showed up, and how much Kakashi felt like actually teaching.

“He’s kind of a hot mess as a teacher, actually,” she realized with the air of a long-overdue comprehension.

He was a nearly-unmatched captain, a stellar commanding officer, and an incredible shinobi, but a seriously iffy teacher at times. As she locked her door, Aiko cast a guilty glance at Yamato’s door, as if to make sure that her less than entirely approving thoughts wouldn’t be overheard by her largest contender for Kakashi’s fanclub. As far as she could tell, his apartment was empty.

_‘Maybe he’s out of town, or not coming to team seven’s training today. If he were, he probably wouldn’t have left the apartment yet.’_

It was unnecessary and a bit silly, but she found herself going to the grocery store and stocking up on ingredients for far more bento than she could eat. The kitchen at the house was larger, so she walked there and let herself in without blinking twice. It was still her house too, in a way. She’d paid for the damn place. Miso with tofu was bubbling on the stove before she pushed open Naruto’s door and woke him by tossing a couch pillow at his head.

“Wha-”

She was already turning out of the room. “Breakfast is ready.”

That mild pronouncement was enough to get Naruto scrambling out of bed. His thudding woke Karin and Hinata… who came out of the same bedroom. Aiko gave them a speculative look, but didn’t comment. It could mean nothing, and it wasn’t her job to tease in either case.

“Are you going to sit and eat?”

Aiko shook her head at Hinata. “No, I’m not hungry at all.” The rice was done soaking, so she drained it and refilled the water before transferring it to heat and checking on what would be her filling for riceballs. A look in the cupboard was enough to have her frown, however. “What happened to all the bento containers?”

Three guilty faces stared back at her from the kitchen table, soup dripping off of Karin’s spoon as she sat frozen.

_‘Why am I surprised? I probably don’t want to know.’_

Her pained expression and obvious bafflement eventually spurred one of them into action. “I’ll replace them,” Naruto offered, reaching for another serving. “I can run to the store in just a minute before you’re done with that.”

“Works for me. Do you know who all is going to be at practice today? I thought it might be nicer to sit and eat outside than go out for lunch.”

“Just you, me, Bastard, n’Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto counted off through a mouthful of bread, ignoring her curious expression.

“Really? I didn’t know that.”

Her younger brother shrugged. “Bastard begged Kakashi-sensei to show him some genjutsu, and now we’re all stuck having to learn some. ‘parently Yamato and the asshole don’t have to learn genjutsu.”

Aiko blinked. _‘Oh. That actually sounds like a really good thing to me._ ’ Naruto didn’t sound chuffed, however, so she let it be. He knew more genjutsu than she did. Jiraiya must have actually worked with him a fair bit on the subject. ‘ _I’m sure that my theory is up to scratch, but not casting. I only know the one genjutsu.’_

That thought was a bit depressing, so she ignored it in favor of carefully sculpting a piece of honeydew melon into a kitty face for Sasuke’s bento (she wasn’t going to make a fucking slug). Naruto got a toad, and Kakashi got a dog. She had just started Hinata’s lunch when Naruto deposited a ridiculous excess of bento boxes on the kitchen counter and pranced off to go watch cartoons. Finishing Karin’s decoration left her with a long moment where she had to think on her own. She shouldn’t make another dog. It would be lame to make two identical lunches, but what other animal was like her…

She shrugged and turned hers into a crude butterfly.

‘ _This is the best part of making lunch._ ’ With a sneaky glance to be sure no one was watching, she scooped all the little shavings of melon that were left into her mouth. Yum.

Dessert thus handled, she piled a few cherry tomatoes in along with slices of sweet potato (stealing a few of those as well) before turning to make rice balls.

Naruto was her good natured pack-mule and tossed all the boxes into his knapsack before sprinting out the door. She cringed and tried her best not to think on the way the boxes were clattering together and the tentative connection her mind was trying to make to the fate of the other bento. Sometimes it was just best not to dwell on how unintentionally destructive Naruto could be.

The wait for Kakashi was as boring as ever, from her perspective. Naruto and Sasuke really only did have eyes for each other, even if they expressed that through name calling and wrestling. It was a bond she could live without in her life and wished them all the best luck with it. She’d braided, undone, and put her hair in twintails just for something to do with her hands before Kakashi _finally_ showed up.

 _‘It’s hard to go back to waiting on him when I’ve had much more timely team experiences,’_ she mused, giving him a mournful stare in an attempt to make him feel guilty for his rudeness. It **might** have worked—he broke eye contact—but there was really no way to know with that man.

“Who wants to try learning the Hell Viewing Genjutsu first, and who would prefer its opposite?”

Sasuke gave Kakashi an indignant scoff. “The opposite? If that’s a perverted joke, I’m going to hit you through that tree.” His knuckles cracked.

In unison, Kakashi and Aiko cringed slightly away from him. Brave, foolhardy Naruto, whose skull was apparently much more resistant to Tsunade-esque beatings, just leered at him. “Maybe you wouldn’t be such a tight-ass if you got laid, eh bastard?”

“As if you would know, Naruto,” Sasuke shot back, cheeks pink.

Kakashi rolled his eye. “Hell Viewing it is. Sasuke, try to take your eyes off your beloved and pay attention, would you? You’ll have plenty of time to stare longingly at Naruto while you cast this on him.” He paused, as if considering what he’d just said. “On second thought, you’ll be working with me. I don’t trust Naruto not to thoroughly traumatize you with something learned from Jiraiya, and I don’t feel like visiting him in the hospital.”

Naruto made a face at him for that one.

The handsigns for that first genjutsu were minimal, and Aiko had no trouble with them at all. The only difficulty came in visualizing what she wanted her victim to experience. Her best chance was to use her considerable knowledge of her target to poke at a secret fear he legitimately possessed, but she was having an oddly hard time coming up with ideas. It was possible to perform this jutsu and let the victim’s mind fill in the blanks, but that left a lot up to chance at her low level of experience imposing her will on others. Without a good idea, she eventually she had to settle for the brute-force solution.

But Naruto’s turn was first. She hit her knees in the dirt, feeling wretchedly sick the instant that his chakra crawled into contact with hers, but easily identified that what she was seeing was false.

That didn’t make her feel much better about breathing in the rotten stench of Naruto’s corpse, body mangled and torn open like a peeled grape for someone to get at the biju inside. Half a ghastly grin peered out at her through the place where his cheek had used to be.

“Kai!”

Her brother eyed her curiously, mercifully whole and sweet looking. “Does that mean I did it right?”

She had to stare at him for a moment, before she realized that he didn’t know what she’d seen. He wouldn’t have created that vision for her. That had come from her subconscious mind. Her real fears. “Yeah.” Aiko cleared her throat, trying to force down the nausea in her gut and focus. “My turn, then.” A deep breath, a moment with her eyes closed to concentrate, and she flicked through just two hand signs before pushing out an undulating wave of chakra, much more subtle and insidious than Naruto’s shockwave.

It still seemed to work. He looked vaguely ill, but grit his teeth in determination and brought his hands up into a cross. “Kai!” he bellowed, snapping out fifteen times the chakra he’d need to break her illusion.

Aiko had a moment to shake her head in faint amusement at his wasteful excess before the chakra pulse hit her and washed slowly through her body with an odd clinging sensat- She _heaved_ , putting a hand to her head in a failed attempt to block out the ringing in her ears. Her vision had gone entirely white and she couldn’t feel her limbs, so it was a bit of a surprise to find that she was on her hands and knees, staring down at the grass while her brother knelt by her side.

“Aiko? Are you okay?”

His concern brought her back to the real world enough to swallow down bile and nod. “Y-yeah.”

No. She most certainly was not okay. She was not okay at all. No matter how over-powered, that genjutsu release shouldn’t have done a damn thing to her unless she was under a genjutsu. Her release earlier hadn’t caught whatever the hell that was, so she’d been under something seriously heavy utility. It had been meant as a long-term measure… and a successful one at that. Nausea and light-headedness were textbook symptoms of genjutsu backlash from overexposure to foreign chakra in the brain. Typically, the longer the casting, the worse the symptoms.

‘ _Danzo. That fucking asshole Danzo. He probably put me under the first time that I met with him,_ ’ Aiko realized with dawning horror and rapidly escalating panic, her heartbeat thudding like a rabbit’s. _‘Oh my god, he’s been in my head. How much damage did he do to me_?’

With sudden and unpleasant clarity, she catalogued clues that had not been allowed to register before now. Even after she’d coded her tongue seal in to her security, the seal meant to keep out foreign chakra constructs had pained her since she set them up. She had been approving of Danzo’s agenda—more so than she had been before. Now that her head was clear, it was hard to think about the man without remembering that she had decided she hated him for cavalierly abusing those in his care and profiting off their pain. And that she thought he was a bit of a moron, constantly shooting himself in his own foot because he couldn’t commit to a logical course of action without over-steering into crazy town.

 _‘I… I think that it was really me thinking that Konoha needed deniable black operations, though,’_ she assured herself, licking her lips nervously. _‘I’m pretty sure.’_

She looked up just in time to see that her fit had apparently brought over Kakashi as well. His eye met hers.

His serious expression sent her heart dropping to her stomach. ‘ _He’s thinking the same thing I am, minus the focus on what a gigantic douchebag Danzo is. He would recognize those symptoms just as well as I would. Better, even. He’s bound to have seen them in person before.’_

It wasn’t a situation she could explain. She didn’t want him to worry.

So Aiko pulled a sheepish smile onto her face and accepted Naruto’s hand up. “Wow, that was thorough, otouto. Try to use a little less force next time, ne? I’m a little sensitive to chakra.”

It was true, in a way, and Kakashi had expressed that he didn’t have the knack for sensing arrays that she did. With any luck, he might think that she’d just had an unusual reaction to a dispelling.

Naruto pinked a little and pulled away his hand to rub at the back of his neck. “Yeah. Sorry.”

The tall man watching them cleared his throat. “Naruto, why don’t you work with Sasuke for a while? I don’t think that a large release will bother him as much.” Kakashi was still eying her uncertainly, unconvinced but wavering.

“Sounds good.”

As the teen trotted off with a glance over his shoulder at them, the two Jounin eyed each other. Aiko intentionally didn’t fidget, meeting his gaze seriously and letting him make of that what he would. There were two acceptable outcomes of this stare-off. Either he would be convinced he had been mistaken and drop the subject, or he would realize that his guess had been dead-on but that she could not or would not tell him for some reason, having to trust that she knew what she was doing.

“Aiko.” Kakashi averted his gaze to above her shoulder, stuffing his hands in his pockets in poorly hidden discomfort. “You know you can talk to me if anything is wrong, right?”

Since he’d looked away, he missed when she pressed her lips together to keep from frowning. Somehow, she’d hoped he would know that she had her problems under control. (Okay, so missing that she’d been under a genjutsu in the first place didn’t look good, she’d admit it. But now that she knew, she could do something about it.

“Of course,” her voice answered brightly, sounding so far from her thoughts that it didn’t really register as her own.

“Right.” He sighed, apparently having convinced himself that he’d imagined the whole thing and that she was merely sensitive to chakra, but having tentatively covered his bases just in case. “Well then. Are you ready to move on to the second technique? I already showed Sasuke.”

He must have directed his Heaven viewing technique, because her mind probably wouldn’t have come up with a rapturous vision of herself reclining on a beach surrounded by fluffy puppies and cabana boys who looked suspiciously like someone she knew. “Kai,” she intoned dryly, giving him a scathing look. “Any reason you think Sasuke should focus in my fantasies?”

Kakashi shrugged, scratching at his chin. “I hear he’s dreamy,” he confided seriously. The sarcasm was palpable.

She fought not to choke. ‘ _Okay, he’s definitely trying to cheer me up. In his own awkward-as-all-hell way.’_

It was a battle she lost, eventually cracking out into a smile. “You’re terrible, Kakashi. My turn now.” Just to be a jerk, she quickly pulled up a rather raunchy fantasy that should both make his day and ruin it entirely.

If she was right, he wouldn’t have finished the new book yet, but he should be able to recognize the two protagonists if he’d even bought it. Aiko copied a few moments of actual dialogue from the beginning of the last chapter, since he would recognize it from the back of the book—and then went in a completely different direction with it. He was familiar enough with Icha Icha that he wouldn’t find her abrupt scene change odd, even if it did have a distinct ‘exit, pursued by a bear’ feeling for her. After the bandits would come the nudity, of course. ‘ _I wonder how far he’ll let it play out?’_ It could be hard to tell. Genjutsu could play out at speeds that didn’t correlate to real time.

Perhaps it was inappropriate, but she didn’t think it would bother him too much. If he was the type to get miffed about things like that, he probably wouldn’t be able to read porn in front of small children. It wasn’t like this was any dirtier than the actual books.

Foolishly, he seemed to let the vision run its course when he recognized it, clearly letting curiosity override his good sense. Aiko knew it had gotten to the good part when he stiffened, and then almost immediately let out a sad, keening sound. He broke the genjutsu without a word or motion, and gave her a mournful look. “Did you really just ruin the end of the book for me? Aiko, how could you?”

Aiko wavered. It was hard to say no to that pitifully sad eye and the plaintive sniff that accompanied it, so she sighed. “I was going to let you think so, but no. That’s not what happens.”

Kakashi nodded slowly. She forcibly stilled her expression to avoid amusement, but he was probably wondering if she was telling the truth or if she was just teasing again and she _really had_ ruined the book. He didn’t seem to know if he wanted to be happy or sad. After a moment, Kakashi shifted uncomfortably. “Right. I’ve, ah. Got to go.” Before she could blink, the debris caught in his shunshin was fluttering to the ground. Her Hiraishin tag informed her that he was speeding back to his apartment. She snickered. ‘ _Well, that’s one way for me to escape scrutiny. I’ll remember that solution.’_ Very deliberately, she avoided wondering if he was going to go finish the book or work on another problem. That way lead madness.

 _‘Of course, that exchange also illustrated another possible aspect of whatever genjutsu Danzo had me under,’_ she thought seriously, turning to walk home. ‘ _It didn’t just subtly alter my perceptions of him to be more positive. Naruto’s amateur attempt caught me much more easily than Kakashi’s much more refined genjutsu, and I had no problem coming up with a more creative solution even though I couldn’t think of one to save my life earlier. He was actually making my own genjutsu skills worse, even if it was just as a side-effect. I was more susceptible, and less creative.’_

The theory seemed solid, but there wasn’t a way to verify it without asking someone who might know more about Sharingan-influenced genjutsu, who also wouldn’t find it the slightest bit odd that she was asking about such a thing.

The two obvious candidates, Kakashi and Sasuke, were out of the question. If she asked either one of them, Kakashi would have no trouble making a connection between her earlier symptoms and the odd question. He was reluctant to believe that she would lie to him, not an idiot. So she swallowed her curiosity.

“Aiko? Are you taking your lunch?” Naruto was frowning when she turned around, dirt smeared on his nose for some reason. “And Kakashi left already? I guess I’ll just have to eat his too.”

“Bento?” Sasuke made an unsubtle head movement in the direction of Naruto’s bag, the only obvious hiding place. She snorted, enjoying the silly tension. It was ridiculous to see two nearly grown men ready to get in a fist fight over some simple rice balls, but also a little calming. At least she could count on those two to be constant when everything else was changing.

“You can have mine, Sasuke.” She waved over her shoulder. “I’m not that hungry.”

_‘At least I know now. That genjutsu took so much chakra to dispel that it must have taxed him terribly to cast. Danzo won’t check to see if I’m still under it as long as I don’t alter my behavior. Another genjutsu won’t hold now that I know what to look for, but he might do something worse next time. I can’t let on that anything is different. That’s not much of a solution. It does make it seem like I should hurry as much as I can.’_

That could be a problem. Deep-cover infiltration was meant to last a long time by definition. Tsunade would probably be shocked to know that she had even made it into Root so early, much less that she had any useful information to report. She could probably get Danzo arrested right away by tattling on his implants, but there was no way to do that without having first plausibly encountered them. It was a last resort at best. In addition to that, she didn’t have nearly enough information on Root to have made this exercise worth Tsunade’s while. (And much more importantly, worth her time. It was too late to back out, so she was going to profit from this idiocy.)

As of right now, she could lead Tsunade to two different meeting rooms and the grand interconnecting tunnel system below Konoha through three different entrances, and report on two members’ identities. It was hardly information worth reporting five months early on her six month deadline, by anyone’s standards.

_‘I’ll just have to find something worth writing home about, then.’_

* * *

 

As a member of Konoha’s security forces, she really should report the passageway that Sai led her through that dodged the gates completely and let them out past city limits. She scowled at the pitch-black forest, but didn’t say a word. There were security forces around nearby, probably within a mile. It would be idiotic to linger when illegally outside bounds. Sai obediently fell behind her when she began to run. Aiko was the one with the map, after all.

_‘And that’s another thing. I find it hard to believe that Danzo is so confident in his genjutsu that he would actually put me in charge of this mission, even if I am the tracker.’_

Her lips twitched into a smile as she touched down on another tree and bounced forward, Sai a breath behind. ‘ _To be fair, it’s probably a combination of trust in his genjutsu, his seal, and Sai. He’s entirely wrong. But it does seem much more legitimate to trust three sources of assurance. If he had done a better job with human psychology, he would have Sai in his corner for certain.’_

The only thing that could really assure loyalty was that it was freely and wholly given. A seal was a nice protective touch for an agent who really did want to keep their information safe, but an unwilling pawn could always find a way. People are far too intelligent to count on a whole group of them being unable to find a method of recourse.

Sai didn’t know it, of course, but his minor rebellions like trying to keep her from angering Danzo earlier that day could be the straw that broke the camel’s back. He might even want them to be. He transparently longed for human interaction and affection, emulating and learning from anyone who would give him the time of day. The boy was very intelligent, and had been traumatized by Danzo’s ham-handed methods of building children into soldiers. Now that he was essentially a full-grown man, he was questioning those teachings.

_‘The first instant it seems viable, I’ll feel him out to see what he’s actually thinking. Sai would be a hell of an ally. Really, we’re not at such a different place in life.’_

He was a good comrade. Sai might actually be miffed on her behalf to find out that Danzo had put her under a harmful genjutsu, now that she thought about it. If he didn’t mind the idea of Danzo punishing her, he would have let her walk into that meeting blind. She was clever, but she wouldn’t have thought to volunteer her Hiraishin without that hint.

They traveled throughout the night, doing their best to put distance between them and Konoha. Mission adrenaline kept her from feeling the effects of her long day for quite a while, but eventually she had a call a halt, blinking the sun out of her eyes and moving to cover a yawn before the cool touch of porcelain reminded her that she was still in her ANBU uniform.

Well. Mostly in her ANBU uniform. Sai had brought a completely unpainted mask for her, along with a rather striking chin-length black wig. She’d taken the hint. ANBU butterfly wasn’t on this mission, a Root operative was.

Still, the gear was close enough to her own to feel familiar.

“Two hour rest, and then we proceed.”

The sword on her back dug into her shoulder blade when she leaned against a tree, so she crossed her legs and folded forward to rest her forehead on her knees. Frankly, it was a terrible position, and she was bound to be painfully stiff if she stayed that way. But they couldn’t fall into a deep sleep on a short break when the point was to get the minimum amount of rest in order to allow them to go on until nightfall. Sai seemed to hesitate, his sandaled feet just barely in her vision for a moment before he gracefully sat next to her, just close enough to share body heat. She unfolded enough to twist and blink up at him before remembering – _‘Oh yeah, the mask. I wish I could take it off.’_

In lieu of offering him a reassuring smile as she might otherwise, Aiko sat up and leaned her shoulder against his arm, tucking her head into the crook of his neck. She napped lightly in that position, ready to switch back into alertness if he so much as tensed. Sai didn’t move a muscle. Her eyes opened again of their own volition, and she had to tilt her face to check the position of the sun with the stupid mask blocking her peripheral vision.

“It’s been an hour and twenty minutes?”

Her voice was a bit raspy with sleep, but her comrade didn’t seem bothered. “Hai.”

Aiko let her head connect with the flora behind her. That meant there were forty minutes left. “You should take a nap, too. Need a pillow?”

A pale mask turned to view her, looking slightly down. “I’m afraid your shoulder is a bit low, Washboard.”

Her playful scowl was wasted on him. “Mean. Then lay down. I’ll wake you at the first sign of movement.” Perhaps it was because she was supposedly his commanding officer at the moment, but Sai took her at her word and twisted to drop his head between her knees when she straightened her legs.

She shivered involuntarily at the way his silky hair tickled her skin but held herself stiff and refused to look at him. She needed to focus on keeping watch.

‘ _Ow_ ,’ Aiko grimaced, feeling tingles and prods of pain in the nerves of her legs. Said legs were completely numb by the time she gently curled her fingers around his shoulder to wake him up. It took a few pained seconds of stretching to wake her sleeping limbs enough to get to her feet, but after that she led them on another long push, this time crossing the border out of Fire Country into Grass. There was something creepy about being in a dead country.

Oh, there were people living there, to be sure. The Daimyo of Grass ruled over plenty of farmers, merchants, and samurai. But she couldn’t look around without remembering that it was now a dead zone for shinobi and shivering a little.

She must have been a civilian once, but that life had been so long ago that the idea of an entire country being wiped clean of shinobi structure was unnerving. A lot of the things that shinobi did were idiotic, but they were familiar idiocies.

They traveled in silence, and bedded under genjutsu cover when they finally made it to blissful nightfall, having crossed most of the country over the course of the day. It wasn’t a particularly comfortable camp with no fire, no fresh food to intersperse the bland protein rations, and only two people to share watch shifts. But Aiko savored every moment of the four hours that she clocked and thanked every kami that there was for having given her an opportunity to work with seals. It was hard to believe that other people really had to make the choice between carrying their heavy bedroll all day instead of other equipment and sleeping on the ground at night. Not for her, thanks.

 _‘Is it safe to get Mitsuo’s help looking for the entrance?’_ Aiko pursed her lips in thought, inadvertently kissing her mask. ‘ _He would have no reason to know that this is covert work and therefore unusual, and I’m sure he doesn’t talk to Kakashi. He might talk to Pakkun, though, who definitely does talk to Kakashi. It’s unlikely, but if he heard about this Kakashi would know I wasn’t on a regular mission. He’d probably assume I was doing something sneaky for Tsunade, but it’s just best not to leave loose ends like that._

Regretfully, she dropped the fingers that had been curling into the first seal to summon her furry friend. She would just have to complete this mission the old-fashioned way.

_‘But screw the old-fashioned way for everything else. I’m hiding a seal somewhere before I go. It’ll add to my map and mean I won’t have to make that awful run again on Danzo’s stupid sneaky schedule. It could be useful at some point to jump out of Konoha’s borders.’_

The location that Danzo had specified was too large to search by foot, even in three days, so she unrolled the map and tried to think like a madman scientist. There were two settlements relatively close to the area she was meant to search. One was agricultural, and the other was much more likely to have medical supplies.

She ignored the areas close to the much larger town. That would be too obvious for a paranoid man like Orochimaru. Anyone looking for him would have searched out places that could supply the expensive materials for his habits. Even if he did find appeal in having a short trip to town for syringes, even a zealot would find much more frequent need for food than medical supplies. Food was much harder to import and much heavier. The rural area would also make it less likely that anyone would stumble on his business (and more likely that he could make them disappear without anyone knowing if they were so unlucky).

There was only one source of fresh water running through the area, though there were multiple lakes. A man like Orochimaru would be well-aware that running water was safer and more hygienic, so she paid most attention to those banks. He probably used the river for electricity—he would need a lot of power to maintain tanks and experiments like those she’d seen when Suigetsu lead them to a base.

The first day of searching was wasted entirely. The second day panned out, though they didn’t realize it at first. The base was disguised as a town. Well. Town was a bit of a stretch, really. A genjutsu still active after god knows how long depicted four dull-faced men and women working in a small field, nearby a smattering of small houses. It seemed utterly boring and nondescript, were it not for two things. Firstly, the hamlet was not on the map (not that it would have to be, recent and small as the development seemed). Much more important to her decision to investigate was the overwhelming tang of human chakra that hung in the air, and the fact that the place didn’t smell of humans at all even though they could be seen walking about and talking. No living being had been there in a long time.

“Creepy,” she deadpanned, waving a hand in front of a genjutsu woman who clearly didn’t register her presence.


	72. Chapter 72

This is the chapter that breaks Vapors past 400,000 words, errbody. I just want to remind you that this was meant to be a 40,000 word project. This chapter, the one before it, and at least one more were all meant to be one chapter in my notes. Clearly, I just cannot control my word count.

I’m terrible at _something_. Not sure what it is, but damn.

Once again, the version on ffis very slightly different. It has a different omake and changes in the final scene.

* * *

 

“Are you sure that we should not end this genjutsu?” Sai gave what she imagined was a suspicious glare at a fat kitten happily lapping up milk outside the genjutsu house she’d led them to. It was probably indifference, but it made her snicker to think of him being angry with kittens. “It would simplify finding the entrance.”

“I’m sure. We don’t necessarily want this found by anyone else.”

Besides, it was fucking hilarious that Orochimaru or one of his people had gone to such ridiculous lengths to disguise their hideout. It just seemed… well, not very _evil_ to go to the work of programming in happily gamboling kittens into their hidden lair’s defenses.

_‘Maybe I was closer than I realized when I did my exercise trying to get into the mind of a madman. Orochimaru couldn’t have been all that bad if he liked fluffy animals.’_

Aiko nibbled on her lower lip, scrunching her face up in thought. Something about that just wasn’t quite right.

‘ _That’s probably a dangerous thought. The fact that he had some human qualities doesn’t mitigate what a gigantic jackass he really was. That’s like making an apologia for Danzo. Sure, he probably didn’t start out nuts. In fact, it may well be true that he had permission to form Root and his real failure came when he refused to disband it after the war.’_ She sniffed, tugging at her wig. ‘ _That says something sad about the slippery slope of ninja morality, I think. Yesterday you were performing a needed function, and then before you know it you’re attempting to take over the world and getting eyeballs put into your arm. It could happen to anybody, really.’_

“What are you doing?”

“I’m thinking. Deep thoughts for deep people,” she replied absentmindedly, sniffing at the air and following the faint seeping of stale air. The trail led her to drop onto her knees, feeling around in the grass with her hands, digging her fingers into dirt and—She tapped again, feeling a lack of give beneath her.

“Hellooo,” she purred, scratching without care for the filth accumulating beneath her nails, bending back to fold her legs so that she rested with little weight on her elbows and could poke around and work with her hands without adjusting too much.

“You look ridiculous.”

“Don’t care.”

“Like a dog.”

“Woof,” Aiko shot back distractedly.

She wasn’t so dignified that she really cared about letting her ass hang in the air when there was snooping to be done. This was kind of fun, actually. Aiko forced down a sneeze, closing her eyes against the dust she was disturbing, but kept working. “I think this is a back entrance,” she informed unnecessarily. Sai wouldn’t have known the difference, but if this was really the entrance, it wouldn’t have been literally buried.

 _‘I’m so good that I found the super-hidden secret entrance_ ,’ her mind crowed, doing the mental equivalent of a fist pump.

Her arm and shoulder muscles shook with the effort of prying up the trap door once she finally got her fingers around the edge. Thankfully, she’d managed to find the hinge side first at least, as demonstrated by the way that it wiggled a little. Sai bent by her side and forced his fingers under the door as well. It came up much more easily with two people working on it, hinging upwards with a horrible scraping sound.

Nose twitching, Aiko whipped her mask up and covered her face with her elbow to catch the three petite sneezes that welled up involuntarily at the rust particles that tickled her nose.

“That hasn’t been opened in a long time,” she wheezed a little, backing away slightly and shaking her head. Ugh. This was the worst part of training as a scent tracker. You were much more sensitive to problems like that. She got the sense that Sai was growing impatient, so she hurriedly enjoyed the sensation of wind on her face for a moment before she dutifully pulled her mask back down and took one final sniff over the entrance. “Looks like a straight drop. There’s only one thing to do, then.” Her companion straightened in alarm, but she was already jumping agilely into the opening, arms curled in front of her chest and legs bent to soften her landing.

The preparation was unnecessary. The entrance was low enough overhead that she could leap up unassisted. That made sense, if this was really an emergency exit of some sort. She saw a blur, and then Sai was straightening at her side.

Alarmed, she looked up in time to see that the trap door had slammed shut, leaving them in complete darkness. Aiko fidgeted. Probably should have seen that coming. “Well, we’ll find another way out,” she sighed. “Keep an eye out. There’s bound to be some sort of lighting system down here. The electricity might still be running, since any generator in the water won’t have been disabled as far as we know. Even if it’s not, there’s going to be something we can light.”

Her words might have been prophetic, because feeling her way along the wall revealed a light switch. _‘Much better.’_

It was a bit dim, but the light led her to another switch, and another, and the combined light sources gave a clinical brightness to the facility they found themselves in.

Their entrance had been in a storage area. Gingerly, Aiko pulled up sheets and tugged open boxes, but all that she found was uninteresting to her.

The lab equipment was probably forbiddingly expensive, but she didn’t even have the knowledge to _imagine_ what half of it was for. Aiko heaved a put-open sigh. “There’s bound to be something more interesting around here.” Sai wordlessly set down the machine he’d been examining and followed her out into the hallway they’d already lit. With a shrug, she turned to the left. Without knowing the layout, all she could do was guess and check every doorway.

“Jackpot?” she asked sarcastically when the second door they opened turned out to be a laboratory of some sort.

“Poisons research,” Sai confirmed blandly, carefully not touching any of the dusty beakers. “I imagine all this was abandoned when Orochimaru died and his replacement apparently decided to commit his efforts to war instead.”

“Probably for the best.” Dust swirled around her ankles as she searched the area. “Records would be nearby so they could use them, right?”

He wasn’t a medic nin of any sort either, so Sai’s guess wasn’t any better than hers. The first two doors were supply closets, but the third revealed a small office of some sort with a bookshelf full of notes, organized by experiment number.

Aiko pulled open the first of her prepared scrolls while Sai handed her reports, sealing the largest piles that she could into each individual seal in the scroll. It would be too ridiculous to set it so that an entire library flew out into Danzo’s face when he tried to open it, but she was hardly about to spend the time sealing each notebook individually.

_‘It would be funny to have this literally explode in Danzo’s face, but I’ll have to settle for it doing that figuratively.’_

If she saw something that she wanted, she would take it. If she saw something that was too dangerous to allow in Danzo’s hands, she would destroy it. But he didn’t have the facilities to carry on these types of experiments, and they were a bad thing to be caught holding. Having them in his possession would prove to Tsunade that he had been involved with Orochimaru.

Danzo actually **had** been involved with the criminal, of course. Orochimaru had been the one to give him his Sharingan implants. No one else from Konoha could have done such a thing, aside from Tsunade, who would have remembered giving Danzo unethical augmentation surgery. But it would be salt in the wound for Tsunade. At this point, Danzo deserved what he would get.

When that library was cleared out, they closed the door behind them and carried on. The next few areas were useless to them, either small training facilities or barracks. Clearly, living conditions had been less than fabulous under Orochimaru. The nearby kitchen was a mess. Someone had abandoned it without doing the dishes.

Sai caught her twitch towards the sink. His amusement was enough to remind her to steel herself. Since she couldn’t clean the filth, Aiko instead hurried out of the room, eager to turn her back on the unpleasant mess.

An oversized set of doors led down a hallway with only one suite of rooms attached. It was of far higher quality than the other rooms seen so far, clearly designed for comfort. Aiko ran the pads of her fingers along the blue sheets to confirm that they were indeed silk.

“Orochimaru appears to have had a taste for the finer things in life,” she remarked blandly, wiping the dust off onto her pants.

“Over here.” She flickered to Sai’s side with a reflexive Hiraishin. Luckily he hadn’t been looking at her when she accidently displayed that she had tagged him. The small office attached to the bedroom was enough to occupy his attention.

It was nice, but functional. Aiko had to wince at the seven bookshelves and chose to poke through the desk first. “Nice pens.” She tossed the writing implements onto the floor and tugged out the false bottom in the flat drawer, surreptitiously tagging it with a seal as she let it drop. ‘ _Might need a quick escape later. If push comes to shove, I can find the trap door from here and blast it open.’_ The drawer hit the ground with a clatter that Sai no doubt disapproved of, but it wasn’t as if they had to hide the signs of their presence. If anyone was around they would kill them. If no one was around, then the only ones who would see would be the Root operatives that would no doubt follow up on their mission to secure the area as a safehouse.

“Boring.” She set the financial reports she’d found back down to free up her hands to open another sealing scroll, stuffing them inside. May as well bury Danzo in paperwork.

Aiko glanced at titles as she hastily stored the rest of the available materials, scanning for anything of interest. Her mind was nearly numb when she first encountered the first thing that piqued her interest. Without missing a beat, she unrolled a fourth scroll and sealed the jutsu scroll inside as if she’d merely run out of room in her last one or was making another sorting categorization.

Sai wasn’t paying attention to her anyway, busy as he was indiscriminately dumping the contents of his own bookcase into a scroll. The lack of finesse brought a smile to her face.

_‘I hope Danzo likes having an entire library leap up and smack him in the face.’_

The word Uchiha caught her eye. Proof about Danzo’s involvement in the massacre, perhaps? Aiko scanned the document… and felt sick to her stomach.

 _‘Wow, I’m glad Orochimaru died when he did._ ’ She swallowed hard, face pale. ‘ _He must have had excellent spies in the hospital. I don’t think that anyone was told about her.’_

There was the option of putting it into the scroll she meant to steal. But there was always the chance that Sai would confront her and she would be forced to hand that scroll over. This absolutely could not fall into Danzo’s hands.

Without swiveling to see if Sai was looking, she crumpled the paper in her hands and lit it on fire with the spark jutsu meant to start campfires.

“Washboard?”

She glanced at her curious companion and continued working without a word. Let him make of that what he would. She couldn’t risk bringing proof to Danzo that there was more than one Uchiha in Konoha. Sasuke would never forgive her, even if she could stomach the thought of letting Danzo get his claws on another child.

Sai might tell Danzo… but what would he say? That she burnt a paper he didn’t see? He would be conflicted. It could have been unimportant, and he wouldn’t want her killed over potentially nothing, when the information was gone already.

After that, her comrade kept a closer eye on her. She didn’t avoid using the scroll that she meant to take. It would be more suspicious than likely to help her. Reports on Danzo himself, other people that Orochimaru had determined to be of interest, and a couple other jutsu scrolls that Orochimaru must have picked up after leaving Konoha went into her scroll. Every time that Sai turned around she switched out more scrolls, moving their positions and adding new ones to ensure that he couldn’t know she was putting books of interest in one scroll or even how many she was using. When her scroll hit capacity, she slipped it into her hip pouch and kept going. Anything of interest she found after that would have to go to Danzo.

He ended up getting a few jutsu scrolls, but that was fine. Orochimaru was famous for attempting to learn all possible jutsu, so it made sense that he would have had reading material of that sort in every hideout he had a room. Danzo might have actually been suspicious if none of that had come in what he received. Luckily, she didn’t see anything that looked particularly close to what she wanted to keep out of Danzo’s greedy paws.

For the moment, she didn’t care if Danzo managed to make his Root stronger by setting up footholds in Orochimaru’s old bases. He could gather up all the useless data he wanted, waste his time trying to piece through Orochimaru’s paperwork and further implicate himself with sensitive information for all she cared. Given opportunity, he would probably overextend himself and damage his own ability to counter her or Tsunade by distracting himself.

What she didn’t want was for him to improve his position. Orochimaru was the kind of man who would have plenty of useful contacts, many of whom would have been obtained through leverage like blackmail. He had certainly kept such information on Danzo, though she couldn’t hope to confiscate that. The Root commander would be looking for it.

She’d done what she could to prevent him from gaining more leverage, though. It would have to be enough. The filled documents went into her hip pouch and the little knapsack that Sai carried, leaving them little room for anything else.

“We’ve found more than I anticipated.” Aiko frowned worriedly at the empty room. “That was probably the most important cache, but if there’s more, we’ll have to come back for it. I only have one more scroll, and it’s half-full.”

“We shall have to return. Danzo-sama will be pleased.”

Her lips thinned. “Yes, he will,” she agreed blandly. “Let’s find our way out.”

Since the path they’d initially taken had come to a dead end with Orochimaru’s quarters, they backtracked all the way to the first hallway and continued on. Barracks, washroom, office, lounge… Aiko stopped, sniffing the air like a hound.

“Is something wrong?”

“I smell fresh air,” she confided lowly, a hand twitching towards the hilt of her blade.

Sai seemed puzzled. “Is that not a good thing?”

She shook her head, turning her stride into a silent prowl that hugged the edges of the hall. “It would be far fainter if the entrance was sealed. Someone else has been here.” Her quiet tones seemed to put him on guard as well. The warning her senses had provided were invaluable, because the other shinobi stalking the halls were silent as well, chakra signatures obscured by one of their party members. There was a moment of silence when the first man turned the corner of the corridor ahead of them, his eyes widening as if in slow motion.

 _‘Rock shinobi,’_ her mind catalogued at the sight of his unscratched headband. It was kill or be killed. Even if their countries had been allies, there was a good chance that they would try to kill her to protect this potential resource.

His mouth was opening and a smaller foot had just appeared around the corridor when she was already tossing the sole Hiraishin kunai she had packed at his gut. He dodged to the side, but she’d already snatched her weapon out of the air and stabbed deeply into his kidney, fiercely tearing a four inch gouge towards his spine and pulling it out even as she moved to hit the woman who had followed him around the turn.

The kunoichi reflexively blocked, but it only took a touch for Aiko to plant a trapped seal on her forearm and rubber band past her to the—oh lord, there were _three_ more of them. The first man was heavily wounded, but she and Sai would have to take the rest of them down fast and hard. Sai was suddenly at her side parrying an oversized blade coming in from above as a tall shinobi swung it off his back, so Aiko ducked down under and broke free of the cluster to flip around with a leap that left her hanging in the air for a moment.

The two men at the back were turning to face her. One of them didn’t have a rock headband at all. A Sound traitor who’d led them here, perhaps? A good sign that Rock couldn’t find this on their own. When this team never returned, management would assume that they’d been betrayed by the outsider.

The woman she’d tagged earlier had dropped to her knees to lay green glowing hands on her wounded teammate. The medic, then.

The analysis only took a moment.

 _‘This seems like an excellent time to try that old idea.’_ Aiko gave an involuntary grin as she holstered her kunai, stretching her lips wide to bare her teeth even as she reached out and violently _snapped_ the array tentatively holding her recently planted Hiraishin seal together.

Her victim’s arm exploded like she’d dipped it in C4, ripping apart the medic’s other arm, her face, and the back of the man she was trying to heal. Blood and organ spatter coated the walls and the backs of the four men in the hallway.

 _‘It works!_ ’ She let out a loud laugh, tapping down on the floor and shooting forward to duck back into the mob. ‘ _Whoa. That was more impressive than expected. That means I only have to touch someone once in order to end them.’_

“You bitch!” the tallest man shrieked, white-eyed and furious. He abandoned his fight with Sai to turn towards her, ready to pull his sword free and bring it in a clothesline twist to cut her in half. It was a mistake. The other Root agent slipped his short sword from under the man’s oversized weapon and cut out his throat in a flash, pulling it out and zipping in to slice through his torso three times before the corpse fell like the lump of flesh it was.

Aiko had already been distracted exchanging blows with the two survivors before the third casualty hit the floor, pushed back. Frantically, she swerved and stepped around two different sets of blows. If she’d had the time, she would have been thanking every kami for her speed. The first man was wielding what looked like Sarutobi Asuma’s short chakra enhanced blades. He must have been a wind user as well, because backing away from the first blow that came too close wasn’t enough to avoid the hit.

“Ah!” She bent over involuntarily, one arm curling around her torso to protect it from further damage, using her left to deflect the next blow and quick-stepping backwards to gain some distance. Most of the technique had scraped ineffectually across her armor, but the edge had sliced into her side and bit into her back when she’d twisted to back away.

This was bad. She was blooded, and she couldn’t tell what exactly had been damaged until she had a moment to examine it. The more that she moved, the faster that she would bleed. It was also likely to exacerbate the damage.

 _‘I have to end this, now, or I’ll be dead.’_ Aiko gritted her teeth against the pain and caught the next arm that entered her personal space, ignoring the ugly slice the wind blade gouged into her arm, nearly sending a huge flap of skin flopping off and exposing muscle tissue. Her fingers lightly squeezed his wrist in reflexive reaction to the pain, but she’d already set the explosive seal on the top of his arm where her fingers almost met her thumb. Big wrists. She leapt away, letting the force rip her hand off his arm since she couldn’t quite communicate with her muscles to adjust her grip, and detonated her new explosive toy with less force than last time to save her own limbs.

The unmarked shinobi was left blinking at the stub where his arm had been, mouth gaping. His last companion was already closing the distance. She pulled her short blade off her back to block his blow—but let her arm fall so that the blade nearly touched the floor.

There was no point. Sai had already severed his head and swung around to stab his blade into the one-armed man’s back and drag it slowly down to his hip. Stupidly, he blinked down at the tip protruding from his stomach before his knees gave out.

In the sudden quiet, Aiko noticed for the first time that she appeared to be leaking red liquid at an alarming rate. Mildly concerning.

“Are you alright?”

“I’d be better if he hadn’t lost control of his bowels,” Aiko reflexively joked back, before tentatively trying to straighten. She cringed, losing hold of her own blade and nearly wobbling to her knees. White pressed against her vision. “I’ve been better,” she allowed after a moment, painstakingly sheathing her blade on her back again. Now that she’d stopped fighting for her life… “I think I need medical attention. I don’t suppose you have a field medicine kit?” she asked dryly, trying and failing to twist to see the wound. She ended up running her fingers over her wound to examine it as best as she could without a mirror. “I don’t carry one.”

Cold fingers gently pulled apart her ripped shirt to peer at the exposed skin around her armor’s fasteners. “No. I am not certified.”

“I take it I’m not about to die?” Aiko asked dryly when it seemed that he wasn’t going to offer comment on his own.

“It’s not deep. Perhaps an inch or so at the entry point. Can you make it to a more secure location?” Sai hovered at her side uncertainly.

_‘I have to.’_

Aiko nodded and awkwardly held her flesh together, steeling herself to continue walking. If she’d managed to fight, she could keep moving. The group they had encountered had apparently just entered the facility, making it easy to trace their way out to the source of the fresh air and faint light. They’d been in the darkness for longer than she had realized. It was evening.

“We’re a fifteen minute run from the small village,” Sai informed unnecessarily, hand twitching to her shoulders.

The girl shook her head, considering their situation as best as she could. “We can’t go there. If those guys have back-up, they’ll be there.”

“You cannot run two hours to the other town, and I cannot carry you that far,” Sai protested, actually managing to sound somewhat upset. “Use your Hiraishin to return to Konoha for medical attention.”

_‘He must be upset to think that’s a viable solution.’_

“I can’t explain this,” Aiko said dryly, gesturing to her Root uniform and injuries with her free hand. “This uniform would raise questions, but so would showing up naked, our other option. Are there medics in Root?” As if it would help, she pushed her mask up onto the top of her head. After a moment, Sai copied her.

“There are, but getting to one in such a condition will be a problem as well.”

“Well, we don’t have much choice.” Aiko sighed, rubbing a hand over her face and inadvertently smearing blood where she touched. “C’mere. I’ll take us to my apartment. Just… give me a moment to catch my breath.”

Tsunade might have been right about the initiative to put a medic of some level on every team, but it wasn’t a good time to complain about lost opportunity. She sure as hell wasn’t going to end up stuck as a medic. Generally speaking, it was a career ending move, or would at least reduce her to a support position. Fuck that shit.

A flicker of unpleasantly familiar chakra buzzed at her consciousness like an irritating insect when her comrade moved in close to steady her, and she moved to brush the feeling away. Slowly as she was moving, Sai was able to move back before her fingers lightly connected with his jaw and gave her an odd look.

‘ _That was weird.’_ Aiko blinked quickly, trying to clear her head. ‘ _Blood loss, or did I actually feel something? I thought it was…’_ Comprehension dawned. ‘ _I think I was sensing Danzo’s chakra signature in his Root seal. Kami only knows I should be familiar with it by now.’_

Not something she really had the faculties to ponder right then. “Alright, hold on.” It took more effort than usual to reach out and pull on the seal in her bedroom, but she got them there. Sai looked a bit ill at the long trip, but dutifully lurked until she managed to semi-steadily walk to her couch.

“How do we get a hold of a medic?” she asked, still holding onto Sai with slightly more force than was entirely dignified.

“We don’t. I will.”

Rudely, she blew a raspberry at her comrade, but didn’t complain while he left. The scroll that was for her personal use was almost immediately hidden between her couch cushions and the others juggled so as to obscure the fact that the pouch should have one more. Hopefully, even if someone snuck around, they would discount such a stupid hiding place. She should have stayed awake to wait for the medic, but it just wasn’t happening. Exhausted by a combination of blood loss, strain, and lack of sleep, Aiko tugged her mask completely off and easily drifted off into a state of bare consciousness, only waking when the door opened to show that Sai had returned with a rather large person.

“Oh, for the love of-” Aiko scowled, putting her hands on her hips. “You.”

Sai blinked and looked between her and Shou. “Is there a problem?”

 _‘Color me surprised. He didn’t strike me as a medic at all. What doesn’t this guy do?_ ’ Turquoise eyes narrowed at a rather uncomfortable-looking Boar. There wasn’t any point in ticking off her medic, however. “Not at all.”

Sai perched on the back of the couch and watched the medic work, working around the clothes that he could and removing those he couldn’t, namely the chest plate. He was actually pretty good as a healer, all things considered, even if he did do a poor job of hiding his surprise when she pulled up her hair and inadvertently revealed her somewhat indecent tattoo of Tsunade.

“You’re a brave woman,” he commented idly, running a cool hand over her open wound with a tickle of chakra that she could tell was repairing internal damage, lacing together cells.

 _‘Captain has a matching one,_ ’ she thought about saying. But it would be pretty unsporting to sell him out, even if nothing ever came of it.

Boar left as quickly as possible. It was impossible to see her back, but the ugly mess of her arm had been reduced to a silvery, near-invisible scar at the entry point. That boded well.

“Help me get out of this? I’d like to not wallow in bloody clothes.” She’d probably rubbed a quarter cup of blood into her couch as it was. The stink was going to linger. Sai moved to pull her ruined top the rest of the way off, clinically pulling off the untouched glove to join the ruined one Shou had removed to heal her arm on the table. “Yeah, thanks. I can get the rest on my own,” she demurred when he gave a rather hopeless look to her ANBU pants.

It would have been a massive pain to struggle with getting a shirt over her head from her seated position, but she could take care of pants. Cute as he was, she didn’t particularly want to sit around in just her underwear, even if he was clinical about seeing her in her bra. The pants weren’t cut or nearly as saturated with fluids. Changing may have been stupid when she would have to redress in a minute to go report, but showing up to report to Danzo covered in her own blood with half her back and waist exposed under a wrecked shirt reeked of vulnerability. A uniform wasn’t much of armor against him, but it was better than nothing.

“Washboard? Why did you destroy evidence back at that base?”

Tiredly, she glanced up at him through her eyelashes. “I suppose it would be too much to hope that you’d forgotten.” Aiko licked her lips, dehydrated but uninterested in going in search of a drink while she searched for words. She settled for honesty. “I was protecting someone precious to me.”

Sai’s eyes narrowed. “Someone… precious?” he asked slowly, uncertainly, sounding lost.

“Danzo-sama…” That wasn’t a good start, so she cleared her throat to try again. “I don’t like the way he trains and treats his operatives,” she admitted. “Konoha needs an organization like Root to compete with other villages, but there’s no reason to treat his people so poorly. He’s wrong about a lot of things.”

Dumbsmacked, Sai let his lips open slightly. He blinked twice. “I… see.”

“Do you?” she countered, seriously curious. She’d laid her cards out. If she had misjudged him, this would end badly for her.

“I…” He licked his lips. “I.” Obvious distress appeared on his normally opaque features. With the air of a tortured confession, the teen opened his mouth and let it hang for a moment. “I have had… concerns.” Utterly miserable, Sai curled a hand into a fist. “Differences of opinion,” he clarified, in a way that really didn’t clarify much of anything.

Her heart melted a little bit. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He seemed to be weighing her up. “I had a brother once.” As if that explained everything that needed to be said, he stalked off into the kitchen.

Aiko blinked at the back of his head. ‘ _Well, that was cryptic.’_

His voice seemed returned to normal when he spoke again over the faint sound of water running. “Do you need assistance getting re-dressed? We must report.” He appeared again and handed her a glass of water, as if ordering her to ameliorate her blood loss by rehydrating.

Out loud, she said, “Would you go grab a replacement shirt from my room? I want to wash up as best as I can.” Aiko drained the water with speed that would have given a medic apoplexy and walked to the bathroom with more effort than was usually required, eager to scrub up the worst of the crust on her arms and torso. Sai had appeared in the doorway with a new shirt as she was tossing two ruined green washcloths into the trash can. “Thanks.” With a grimace, she pulled the shirt on quickly, as if ripping a bandaid. Boar was definitely no Tsunade, or even Sasuke, and she was definitely going to be even more sore in the morning.

Impatient, Sai tucked her chestplate against her torso and circled her back to secure it himself while she fixed her wig and mask.

_‘That water was a good idea. I feel a bit steadier.’_

Still queasy, though, but that might have been because she was about to go report to a man who had already done her harm with a comrade who was clearly wavering on which one of them he wanted to do right by. If Sai told Danzo that she had destroyed something important, he might kill her on the spot. She was fast, but he was canny.

If she died in Root, there would be no justice for her. Tsunade couldn’t acknowledge that association. She would simply disappear, or Danzo would create the impression that she’d died on duty or ran off.

Aiko took a deep breath, ignoring the quaver, and set out the door with her head held high.

They ran through the village as if they owned the place since hiding would be more suspicious in the light, blending in with a patrol at one point and having to exchange credentials. Obviously, she gave them her root verifications and not her regular or ANBU verifications. The information was all valid, but for an imaginary solder Danzo had put into the system with paperwork magic. Memorizing three sets of credentials was annoying, though.

After a while, she realized that they weren’t headed anywhere she recognized from her Root forays. In fact, they appeared to be heading to one of the upper scale residential districts.

 _‘Are we going directly to Danzo’s home?’_ She scoffed at her own foolishness. Of course he didn’t lurk in tunnels at all hours. It would be idiotic to just start checking meeting rooms. This meeting was unplanned, so of course he hadn’t made an appointment and summons.

That lapse was enough to drive home that she was far from at her best state and prepared to match wits with the man who held her life in his wrinkled claws.

 _‘This meeting could go badly enough even if I wasn’t affected by blood loss,_ ’ Aiko thought bitterly. _‘Either I have poor luck, or the gods are with Danzo.’_

There was no mistaking the presence lingering and seeping from the inside of a conventional-looking home. Aiko belatedly resisted moving a hand towards her head, by now associating his chakra with pain. Sai’s white mask swiveled to survey her for an instant as if he’d caught the twitch and wondered what it meant, but he led the way in through a back entrance. “Tell Danzo-sama that we are here for a debriefing,” he quietly instructed the woman who came to greet them. From her graceful movements, she was a shinobi as well, and probably accustomed to those requests.

Aiko did her best not to look around at the surroundings with curiosity—or at least, not to let on that was what she was doing. If she had no other options, she might find herself creeping down these halls one day, and knowing the floor plan could only be beneficial.

Such a home invasion wouldn’t be her first choice, especially since the area she was led to was clearly unconnected to his personal quarters. They knelt with bowed heads to give their report in a small office, but she would bet any amount of money that there was nothing of real import in this room.

Excepting, of course, the documents she and Sai held in their possession.

“Am I to assume that you are successful?”

“We located-”

“Not you,” Danzo snapped at Sai’s soft murmurs, cutting him off briskly. “I assigned the other agent leadership.”

_‘What the fuck? That’s strict chain of command for such an arbitrary assignment. Is he testing my leadership capabilities?’_

Bleakly, Aiko began. As she spoke, the woman from earlier carried in a tea tray with a single cup and set it beside Danzo before backing out silently. “We located the former facilities at coordinates marked on the map given us for the mission. Inside we found and retrieved information in a laboratory and what appeared to have been an office maintained for Orochimaru’s personal use, enough to exhaust our storage capabilities. Inside the base, we encountered and eliminated five hostiles, four of whom bore Rock identifications. I have left a seal so that we may return at a future date, and can provide a partial sketch of the layout.”

“Rock…” Danzo mused, sounding not pleased at all. “I see. They grow bold indeed.” After a sigh, he switched topics. “What type of information did you retrieve?”

“Medical reports on several hundred experiments and subjects, financial data from Sound’s administration, several-”

“That’s enough. Give them to me.” Aiko rose just enough to unzip her hip pouch and lay out six scrolls onto his desk. At her side, Sai extracted a pile of his own and set them beside hers. Danzo picked one up and briefly examined it, rubbing a dry thumb over the soft material as if inspecting for defects. “I see. Agent codenamed Sai, have you come to a decision on your junior agent’s performance?”

Her heart stopped. ‘ _Well_ ,’ she thought with a tinge of irony, ‘ _this explains why I was put in charge. Danzo was giving me rope to strangle myself with.’_ Unavoidably, her muscles tensed. If Sai was going to sell her out… She could flee to Kakashi and beg him to escort her to Tsunade immediately, tell her that the mission was a bust and they needed to make a move on Danzo now, that her extraction was unavoidable or cover was blown and-

“She performed admirably,” Sai murmured, not raising his head. "in both a position of command and in locating the premises without assistance. Her combat is also passable. I recommend full instatement.”

“Humph,” Danzo grunted noncommittally, leaning forward slightly to examine her with a rheumy eye. “Very well, then. You may leave.” Aiko lingered awkwardly—he was definitely just indicating Sai, but he hadn’t talked to her alone since the first meeting. “Have a seat.”

It felt like a trick, but she did as she was told, pressing her knees together to keep them from shaking. The swell of his chakra was bothering her so much that it seemed insane that she had never noticed it this way before. It felt sick, bloated, tainted. He was very ill, though whether she was registering a physical or mental illness impossible for her to discern. She would never forget it. It might be that she was developing better senses or just that she was overly familiar with his in particular, but it left a bad taste in her mouth.

“Calm yourself, child. I do not bite.”

_‘Oh, we’re back to the grandfather routine?’_

Danzo seemed to use classic abuser tactics, though whether or not he realized that was up for debate. He engendered intense feelings like loyalty or affection, would give praise, and then likely remove his approval later like he seemed to be doing to Sai, making him desperate to work for stingily rewarded praise. It was a vicious cycle, but a very persuasive one.

_‘I hate him. I hate this man. He’s awful.’_

Outwardly, she relaxed her muscles obediently and kept a faint smile plastered on her face under her mask, as if he could see it. He might, for all that she knew.

“You are young,” he began, as if imparting great wisdom. “Let me tell you about true strength. It is the way of a shinobi to break emotional attachment, for emotions lead to weakness in character and judgment.”

 _‘Thanks for the lecture, grandfather time. This is like the inverse of Kakashi’s philosophy,’ s_ he noted with wary amusement, not letting herself dwell too deeply on his words. They couldn’t convince her if she didn’t listen. ‘ _I’m getting the Danzo version of ‘welcome to the team, let’s get to know each other’, I think’._

“Shinobi serve the village, working for the betterment of the most people and not selfishly clinging to the welfare of a few. Passion only begets **_pain_** ,” the old man stressed firmly, fingers turning white as he clutched a small wooden token she couldn’t quite make out.

 _‘My name is Danzo’_ , she mocked internally, pulse jumping. ‘ _My hobby is lurking and coming up with new ways to put the ‘fun’ in ‘orphan’. My dislikes are free will and the creeping realization that I am inferior to my old friend Sarutobi in every way. Also strawberry mochi.’_

“And that pain will lead you down the path of revenge. It is no wise thing to form attachment, Aiko. When you live as long as I have, you see many comrades die. But those deaths are only a tragedy when they are wasted because of unwise attachments that cloud judgment.”

Making fun of him was getting a bit harder, because something he was saying was resonating.

“Do you understand, child?”

“Hai, Danzo-sama.”

His head seemed to shake slightly, but his eye was perfectly bright and clear when he pinned her with a piercing stare. “Take heed of my words, and learn from the examples of others.” He took the single cup of tea and tipped it up to his mouth for a leisurely sip, closing his eye. “Your codename will be Sakura.”

Her heart stopped. Everything stopped. But Danzo kept talking as if he hadn’t just done the conversational equivalent of shoving an ice pick in her head.

“I hear you have been involved in diplomatic missions with both the Kazekage and the Mizukage. I would like a full report on their personalities and habits delivered to me when next I summon you. Excluding tomorrow, of course.”

“Hai, Danzo-sama,” came the wooden reply from her mouth. It seemed as if someone else was operating her body. It was trembling beyond her control.

“Very good then, Sakura, my girl.” Slowly, the old man stood and shuffled to the door. He stood there for a moment. “One more thing. I made a small timing error in assigning you a five day mission. The monthly meeting with the large council is the day after tomorrow. I hope that you will make it.”

The casualness in that statement rang false, but she couldn’t bring herself to care that he’d been planning to keep her from any possible political influence until he’d determined her worth.

His kimono rustled lightly on the ground as he trailed out like a snake in the grass, but her limbs were frozen with lactic acid. It took a tremendous effort to will herself to stand and make her way out of the building.

‘ _That code name wasn’t an accident,_ ’ Aiko realized numbly. _‘He’s making a point. Sakura…’_ She gave a choked laugh, mindless of where she was. _‘Is he saying I got her killed because I was too attached to Naruto? How could he possibly know I had any recourse to affect that outcome?’_

Cold, hard logic sank in, but provided no comfort this time. No. He had been making another argument. He had been careful to wait to give her a code name until he had been at a certain position in the conversation, after having detailed how misplaced emotions were often a cause of weakness and death. Danzo had meant that to be a bitter blow, no doubt about it, a warning to harden her heart, but he had been making the claim using what he would think was an example she would be familiar with of a stupid, pointless death.

Danzo had been claiming that Sakura had gotten herself killed because she had tried to save Sasuke, and that she was the epitome of a weak shinobi Aiko should strive to be separate from.

That was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Sakura had been… soft, yes. She had been everything that a man like Danzo would hate. But she hadn’t been weak. She must have been _so scared_ that day, and rightly so. A hundred highly trained shinobi would have frozen in her place. It hadn’t been weakness that had drawn her into a fight she couldn’t win, against ludicrous odds. She’d been trying to protect someone she cared deeply for. That wasn’t weakness.

And if it _was_ weakness to try to keep your loved ones safe even when you can’t see a chance for success, this wasn’t a world Aiko wanted to live in. So it couldn’t be true.

“Where are you going?”

Aiko blinked, registering that she was outside. That was Sai. Sai had waited outside for her… and she could feel Danzo’s chakra clinging to him like a parasite, leeching off of his health and sanity and free will.

A shudder wracked her body, but the feeling of revulsion fled when Sai tentatively brushed his fingers against her shoulder. His chakra. She just had to concentrate on his chakra and keep herself grounded. “Pardon my lapse,” she managed jerkily. “I was in thought.”

He stared. She couldn’t see it, but she could feel it.

“I would like to talk to you,” he settled cautiously.

 _‘Right,_ ’ she remembered, gratefully latching onto the distraction and trying to focus on that. _‘He just saved my skin. He will probably want to be sure he made the right choice.’_ She managed a weak smile before remembering it couldn’t be seen anyways. “My apartment, then?”

“That would be acceptable.”

Aiko barely noted the trip home, pushing her door open and crawling mindlessly onto her bed with her full gear on, boots included. She positioned herself with her back to the wall, knees defensively pulled up and a pillow to her chest.

“Washboard?”

Oh. She blinked up at him, pushing her mask up and noticing vaguely that her palm brushed a strange wetness on her cheek as she did so. “Hai, Sai-kun?” Her mild tone seemed to unnerve him further, but she couldn’t imagine why.

Visible hesitation was written in his muscles, but Sai slowly removed his own mask and gently took hers off her head, laying them both on her bedside table. “May I ask why you are upset?”

It wasn’t like her at all to share what was really going on in her head without carefully planning and packaging the words for her audience, but she was too tired for that now. “He gave me my code name,” Aiko confided blandly. “Sakura.”

He looked mildly concussed. It was probably his version of confusion.

“That’s the name of a genin I got killed,” she explained conversationally. “Naruto and Sasuke’s teammate. Sweet girl.”

If it were possible to him to scream the words, ‘I feel trapped and uncomfortable and do not know how to rectify this unpleasant sensation without violence, but I sense that killing you is not the appropriate answer’ without words, that would be the best way to sum up the conflict written in the way that he carefully did not breathe or twitch. It was like he expected her to pounce, or start sobbing.

“I hate him. He fucks with my head. Did I tell you he used a genjutsu on me, the first time I met with him? I found out a few days ago. It’d been affecting my behavior.” The words just wouldn’t stop coming, bland and factually impersonable. Was this what it was like to be Naruto? What it was like to be honest and open? It was awful. “It hadn’t been meant to come off. Either he thinks I’m disposable and doesn’t mind damaging me, or he didn’t know what he was doing. I’d already begun experiencing migraines, inability to sleep, and personality changes. Was that the point?”

“Washboard, stop.”

She stopped.

Tentatively, Sai sat down on the bed, keeping a careful distance and a nonthreatening posture.

 _‘I want a hug,_ ’ she realized with open misery. _‘A hug and someone to tell me it’s going to be better._ ’ Sai was far too broken for that. He was making huge changes as a person, growing and evolving and doubtlessly going to become a far better human being than she could hope to be, but he was not capable of offering her comfort of his own initiative.

So she took it, leaning in and pulling her arms around his torso, and just tried to stop thinking for once in her life. After a long moment, thin fingers laced through her hair and trailed down to rest on her upper back uncertainly.

“I’m sorry. I just made this all about me, didn’t I,” she choked out a laugh, pulling backwards. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Nothing,” he said softly, looking down at his hands. “Nothing at all.”

* * *

 

Omake

Sai stared blankly at a certain brick in the house across from Danzo’s, inadvertently alarming the woman watering her window-box azaleas.

 _‘I would like to have an emotionally honest conversation with you,_ ’ he drafted, before immediately nixing the beginning of yet another potential conversation. No, that wasn’t right.

_‘I am considering engaging in a bit of light treason with you, and would like to offer my apologies for inducting you into-’_

That wouldn’t work either. There was no good way to end that sentence.

If he could, he would have frowned, but he was too well-trained to do that. In any case, those attempts were not likely to yield productive discussion. It was possible that he was mistaken, and Washboard was in fact loyal to Danzo-sama. Such an abrupt, unsubtle approach could end very badly.

He had observed from his readings in Icha Icha Pirate: Get the Booty, Icha Icha Spring Blossom, and Icha Icha Hidden Treasure that women were prone to engaging in emotional or tactically sensitive dialogue once in a relationship.

 _‘Want to have sex?_ ’ he tried, directly quoting all three of those books.

No, that wouldn’t do at all. He’d seen a man try that once, and Sai was not at all convinced that the real life application of such a rhetoric would work any better for him, no matter that it had always worked in the instruction manuals for human relationships that Kakashi-san had recommended to him. It might be something that only worked for experts on socialization.

 _‘Perhaps I should acquire another source,_ ’ Sai pondered seriously. _‘If Jiraiya-sama’s instruction really was foolproof, surely Kakashi-san would have acquired a successful human relationship of his own after so many years of diligent study.’_


	73. Chapter 73

_‘I think this is the first time I’ve worn a kimono since the last festival._ ’ The soft material just felt wrong against her skin right now. It didn’t actually touch most of her bare skin, of course. Her inability to wear her normal gear that she was comfortable with had made her feel so uncomfortable and vulnerable that she’d eventually given in and bought a mesh bodysuit to wear under it. The metal re-enforced links trailed to her elbows and down to her knees, though the neckline swooped lower than she’d like in order to avoid any hint showing.

It wasn’t preferable, of course. Aiko had always thought that bodysuits were hideous, and she preferred to wear protection only on her hands and forearms (leaving her fingers poking out the tips of whatever gloves she was wearing so she could use seals) and her shins, keeping the rest of her gear light so that she could move unimpeded.

For obvious reasons, it was hardly possible to wear shorts and a tanktop to the meeting where she would be formally introduced to the large council. With minimalism eliminated as an option, her next preference was to protect as many of her vital points as possible without looking like she was armored.

‘ _I’m being stupid,’_ Aiko grumped, drawing a clean line of eyeliner in a dramatic swerve, and turned it into a cat’s eye. _‘Not only am I in Konoha, but this is just the large council. They’re going to be just as pompous and ineffectual as the council I saw in Sand.’_

Thank god that she would never have a seat on the council that mattered. That honor was restricted only for the Clan Heads of the oldest clans in the village, those who had been with Konoha since the founding. The large council was cluttered with representatives from tiny, dying, or unimportant clans, but she was probably representing the smallest yet. Generally, having four members in the active duty forces meant that there were at least two actual families involved in the clan when it gained that status. Shinobi careers were notoriously short-lived, after all. By the time a shinobi had children, they and their spouse was probably retired. Sisters who married out, parents who had retired, or children in the academy didn’t count towards the count. It was a little ludicrous for a clan to consist of four shinobi with about a year and a half distance between the eldest and youngest, and she was getting saddled with this obligation on an idiotic technicality.

A little viciously, she smeared rouge across her lips and called it good enough. She had to look like she’d tried to impress, not actually be attractive. The idea of even pretending that she cared what these people thought was infuriating. Aiko wouldn’t lower herself to actually want their approval.

This was just part of a mission, that was all. Tsunade had ordered her to accept the appointment because she’d thought it would make her more tempting to Danzo.

Apparently it had worked, though she wasn’t entirely certain why. He was already on the large council, after all. He might want to use her as a vote towards whatever agenda he proposed, or to push initiatives that he didn’t want to be openly associated with, perhaps. She would have been much more valuable to him if she had been on the small council, because he had lost any insight into those proceedings when Homura and Koharu had retired.

 _‘Bully for Tsunade, she was right_ ,’ Aiko thought moodily, tugging her hair out of the round curlers she’d had to buy for this and pulling a swoop back on her right temple to secure with the glittering butterfly shaped pin that had been waiting in her mailbox when she’d gotten home. ‘ _about Danzo, anyways. Does she really think that jewelry is a good apology for making me do stupid pedantic shit that she neglected herself for thirty years? Hypocrite.’_

It hadn’t been labeled, of course, but who else would have given it to her? It had come up free of poisons, seals, chakra, and a quick soak in her sink had taken care of the lingering possibility that anything technological was waiting inside the tiny pin to bite her in the ass later. It was just a blue and purple butterfly. It matched her kimono (four different shades of blue swirled together with white detailing) and it wasn’t like she had any other jewelry to go with it.

Besides, the piece was both pretty and shinobi tough. Even when she shook her head violently, it stayed snugly wherever she’d clipped it. Must have been a high quality accessory, and it was striking against her hair.

Of course, the unusual good mood that came from the odd feeling that she was pretty was fleeting. _‘I might as well have showed up in unwashed fatigues, from the way they’re looking at me._ ’ Aiko resisted the sneer that tried to rise on her features. She’d known well enough to expect hostility.

Plenty of the idiots in this village were still unnerved by Naruto, and suspicion only bred ill will. As children under the Sandaime’s protection, no one had dared to raise a hand to either twin, but she’d never labored under the misconception that the village as a whole had any fondness for her even if it was just by association. No one wanted someone they saw as a potential threat gaining direct representation in one of Konoha’s legislative and judicial bodies.

‘ _To be fair, they’re right to distrust me if they’re enemies of Naruto.’_ Aiko gave a pleasant smile in return to an unpleasant stare, remembering just how easily the man in front of her could be crushed under her heel. _‘I don’t tolerate shit, and I am very definitely going to advocate for Naruto wherever I can, since I’ve been dragged here. If I have to live in this village, I might as well do my part to cut down on the general idiocy.’_

An eye for an eye, and all that. These people owed Naruto their lives, and she would make them remember that before all was said and done, if they were too thick to see it on their own.

He was going to be the Hokage, after all.

A woman with a large nose that she didn’t recognize tried to look down on Aiko as she waddled to her seat. Forced to stand until she was introduced, Aiko used her artificial height advantage and what she knew was an unnervingly chill gaze to force the older representative to look away.

She’d be a shitty big sister if she didn’t at least try to clean house before he took over. Naruto was more likely to be the charismatic and inspiring type of leader, not detail oriented.

“If all would come to order, we have a new member to introduce before we move onto today’s agenda,” some elder that she didn’t recognize started quaveringly. His fingers shook, creating the impression that he was attempting to fan himself with the pile of papers he held. Aiko softened her expression, letting something that could be mistaken for kindness move the muscles around her eyes to fully commit to innocuousness now that the room as a whole was looking at her with curiosity.

Her introduction was brief in terms of words, but highly informative. There were a hundred something people in this room, all politicians of some stripe or another. Even if there hadn’t been shinobi among them Aiko wouldn’t have thought to trust that their visible reactions were really an accurate reflection of their thoughts. Judging their expressions and posture wasn’t foolproof, but it was some measure of general sentiment, at least.

More than a few people seemed unhappy to see her there. That attitude was more prevalent in those who seemed to be Kakashi’s age or older, an observation that came with two obvious explanations.

‘ _I’m tempted to attribute that to resentment about the Kyuubi, but it could also well be that it irks people to see a fifteen year old getting public office_ ,’ Aiko thought, with a mind towards fairness. She wasn’t wholly unsympathetic to the second assessment, but anyone who expected children to kill enemies of the state should also adjust their treatment of youths. You can’t have it both ways. But it was tempting to assume that her relative lack of experience was going to make her more of an impediment to lawful order than a source of assistance.

Some of those murmurs were about her association to Naruto, however. She was sure of it. Anyone intelligent would sit on their resentment until they could feel her out, of course, wanting to know if she was really aligned with Naruto’s interests or if she was manipulable. Her age wouldn’t been seen as a detracting point so much as a potential source of weakness amongst some of the more mercenary minds here.

 _‘Too bad for them my vote is already taken._ ’ The idea brought a contrary sort of humor to the set of her lips. It was funny to think that Danzo had beat them all to that particular game, even if she wasn’t best pleased about knowing he would be using her as a pawn to push some agenda here.

But of course, not everyone was hostile or obvious. Quite a few faces were welcoming in a disinterested sort of way, and others impassive. Some of them sought her out to talk on the first recess.

That was terrifying, to be honest. _‘No one ever trained me to behave in this sort of setting,’ Aiko_ thought a bit desperately, trying to keep bewilderment off her features whenever a reference went over her head or she didn’t see a connection between topics. Some of this shit had to be intentionally obscure, because it wasn’t as though she had no ability at tactical or political thinking.

Those natural inclinations appeared to be doing her no good, for once. It might have come from a fundamental difference in how a real clan heir or a savvy civilian politician was supposed to prioritize and think, but she could hardly help that. Her training had all focused on the most likely situations in her worklife—that she would be with comrades she trusted performing maneuvers they had trained in, in a hostile situation where she should trust no one, or in a hostile situation where she should kill everyone.

None of those options seemed to be the answer, and Aiko had the unpleasant chance to discover that her ‘fight or flight’ reflex in situations like this seemed to be broken, insistently chiming that she _get the hell out of dodge_ while she could, perhaps by excusing herself to the ladies’ room and shimmying out the window while no one was looking.

 _‘I only wish that were an option.’_ She swallowed, hard, and tried to pay close enough attention to the current topic to repeat and investigate the information disguised with an obscene amount of jargon later. ‘ _Running would be infinitely preferable to memorandums and socializing with total strangers. How does **anyone** flourish in this sort of environment?_ ’

The ladies room’s window was too small, in any case. If she were to try, Aiko would end up with her hips stuck and no leverage to force herself out. She’d have to pry the screws holding one of the side of the frame in place out to get an extra quarter inch of wiggle room, and that would be exceedingly difficult without any tools. (It was considered very bad manners to come heavily armed into a largely civilian government forum, apparently).

The meeting was everything she’d dreamed of and more in her worst imaginings, as it turned out.

The group was self-important, anal, and tied to procedure. At least she understood the structure now, but it really could have been summed up in about a minute. The large council met once monthly, but was divided into interest groups that investigated situations, proposed legislation, lobbied, and then presented the fruit of their labor to the group as a whole to be ratified before it got sent upwards to the small council and the Hokage. Enacting it was at their discretion at that point, but the large council contained a good number of influential people who felt that what they had to say was important and could make life marginally more difficult for the Hokage and Konoha as a whole if displeased.

For example, one of the most obvious designations that she noted was that of those who headed a guild. The five men and women who represented the most influential merchant guilds in Konoha could show their approval or disapproval by regulating prices and policies. They had actual material methods to steer the direction of Konoha’s policies because they had a stranglehold on her essential goods.

Conversely, other groups had little clout individually, but could become a pain in the ass because of the collective they represented having some measure of potential power. The groups of small clan heads could theoretically create dissent or other attitudes among the general armed forces populace, compromising Konoha’s workforce. Others relied on the clout of wealthy relatives who patronized Konoha with the implicit threat that miffing them would mean losing business: in other words, if you pull my pigtails I’m telling my cousin the Daimyo’s brother’s wife’s pig’s caretaker twice removed and boy, will you be sorry.

When she finally caught up with the tone of her own thoughts, she had to give a wry snort in amusement. Judgmental much? There were probably quite a few people in the group who were as eager to be there as she was.

_‘I should probably do a better job of hiding my disdain, now that I’ve apparently been subsumed into the collective.’_

The kimono was unceremoniously piled onto the chair in front of her desk and Aiko pulled shorts and a loose cut-off top that stopped at her ribs over her mesh suit, breathing much easier in casual clothing. The formal wear wasn’t uncomfortable, exactly, but what it signified was. Namely, having to go out into public and associate with large groups of people on a semi-regular basis. The fact that Danzo was there didn’t help. Every time that he’d glanced in her direction, she’d fought the urge to cringe or sink under her table.

He hadn’t hinted at any recognition or association between the two, but that had been expected. Whether he intended to use her as a ‘yes-man’ or as a front for agendas he couldn’t openly support himself, Danzo would be better served by allowing the impression that her ideas were reached without any sort of collaboration from him. He’d want to seem impartial or hard to read, at least until he had a sense of the way that general opinion would fall in regards to her and how best to use her voice.

 _‘I wonder if he was involved in my committee assignment. It seems like something he’d be interested in._ ’ Aiko rolled her neck, touched her butterfly pin self-consciously (it was so pretty, she’d really like to keep wearing it even if it was too nice for her gear) and headed out the door again.

There was probably no point in wondering. It didn’t much matter, at least in terms of what she could do about the situation.

Aiko had been assigned to a committee investigating the apparently unsatisfactory numbers in the shinobi population and working towards a proposal to rectify the situation. She wasn’t entirely certain if it was a snub or not, to be frank. It could be a pointed association with her small ‘clan’, a random designation because it had been the most recently started committee, or a calculated one based on the premise that the head of such a tiny and non-prestigious clan would be eager to work hard to make a name for herself.

“I need to pencil in investigating actual numbers of academy enrollment, graduation, and death rates in sometime before that stupid meeting in a week and a half,” she muttered to herself as she locked the door and pocketed her keys.

Whoever had proposed the committee had probably already collected data like that in order to make their case that the matter deserved investigation, but it was hard to want to trust the work of people she didn’t know with unfamiliar agendas. The possible problems with that ran a wide gamut from ‘incompetence’ to outright lies.

The air conditioning was running at a frosty overdrive in the hall, but it didn’t much matter, seeing as she was only making the ten step walk to Yamato’s apartment. He had agreed to host the next team dinner, bless his heart, under the thin pretense that she would repay him back by teaching him to cook a little.

Yamato answered the door wearing a stressed look and an apron. Her lips twitched.

_‘I don’t know how much hope I have for that particular venture. At least it’s going to be adorable.’_

Learning the layout of his kitchen was perversely easy, due to the fact that he had owned one skillet, one pot, and a four piece flatware set that had been a gift. Apparently, he lived on raw vegetables and scrambled eggs when he didn’t want to eat out.

“This is really sad, you know…”

Yamato looked a bit guilty, shuffling his feet while she snooped through all his empty cupboards. “I got the items on your list?” he offered half-heartedly. Aiko turned to the fridge and knelt to examine the items neatly arrayed in-

“Are they in alphabetical order?” Bemused, she poked the cucumber, neatly sitting between bok choy and a daikon radish.

Defensively, he mumbled something about having been told to put things away.

 _‘That is impressively anal,’_ Aiko allowed, running her hands over a few of the goods that definitely did not need to be refrigerated. Rice, for example. ‘ _Poor man. He really is a babe all alone in the woods. At least he can navigate a grocery store. I’m almost surprised that Mr. Anbu genius got stuck with those missions as a genin too, but I don’t see how else he would have learned. Clearly, no one taught him anything about the kitchen.’_

“Measure out two cups of rice and soak it, would you please?” She handed him the chilled bag of grains. It would probably be best to keep her instructions brief, simple, and work him up to more difficult tasks later.

Yamato seemed to think that it was some sort of dark sorcery, judging by the look on his face, but when given careful instructions he had managed to put together green tea ice cream and set it to chill in his empty freezer while she worked on the stir fry. He cut the fruit salad on his own, but got miffed and accused her of fucking with his head when she instructed him to squeeze a lime over it, tip in a teaspoon of sugar, and then dust the whole salad with chili powder.

Aiko wasn’t joking. Fruit salad was amazing that way.

Her hand slipped, sending bits of the vegetables she was adding onto the stove top instead of into the wok. Yamato gave her an odd look, but she was a bit preoccupied by the layout of her seals.

_‘I sense a disturbance in the force.’_

When the first arrival casually let himself in a moment later, Yamato looked just about as dumbfounded as she felt.

_‘Kakashi is early. Why is Kakashi early?’_

“Did someone die?” she blurted, reflexively hirashin-ing to his side. He favored her with a confused look.

“Can’t I just be early?”

“No…” Yamato drew the word out, quirking his hip and rolling the strawberry he’d been about to cut between his fingertips. “You’re never early, senpai.”

“That’s a lie,” Kakashi demurred, collapsing bonelessly onto Yamato’s worn couch. “I distinctly remember being early once. In any case, I’m not early. I’m late, you see. Wasn’t I supposed to be here yesterday?”

Aside from how outright weird Kakashi was being (not only was he early enough to lurk about while they finished preparations, but he actually said something that could be construed as a compliment about her hair pin) the dinner went much better than the first attempt had.

Her day didn’t turn into a bummer again until she got back to her apartment and realized she needed to write up that report on Gaara and Terumi Mei for Danzo. She had seen him only yesterday when she and Sai had given him the rest of the materials they had found on their second exploration of Orochimaru’s base, and then again at the Council meeting, but he could call her asking for this report at any time. It wouldn’t do to be unprepared when he summoned her. He wasn’t a man who tolerated even the slightest dissidence, and she didn’t want him looking particularly closely at her actions.

_‘I do feel a bit guilty giving him information on these two, but it’s not like I have much of a choice. I can avoid giving him information he couldn’t get otherwise, but protecting foreigners isn’t worth endangering this mission. My neck is on the line. I like my neck more than Mei’s, and Gaara can take care of himself.’_

The only thing she was really unsure about was sharing that she had given Hiraishin seals to both of them. If Danzo knew that, it seemed likely that he would run her ragged going back and forth to them.

 _‘Then again, he can hardly do that without Tsunade hearing about me being there when she’d know it wasn’t on her orders…’_ Aiko tapped the back of her pen on the notebook she was using thoughtfully, leaning back in her desk chair.

Danzo was a lot of things, but he wasn’t inept at covering his tracks. He wouldn’t make an amateur mistake like that. If he absolutely needed one of them dead, he might be willing to send her to assassinate them, but he would be fully prepared to assume that she was a loss as an agent after that, if there was any hint that Konoha had been involved or it she was seen. He would have her painted as a rogue agent and probably sent as recompense to the country in question.

That would only be an issue if something drastically changed. He had no love for either kage, but unless he hated one of them in specific and stood to gain from their death, no such mission would be given. The old man was canny enough to know that they would just be replaced with another kage he probably didn’t like. He might prefer the evil he knew to the one he didn’t.

And again, a large part of her interest was protecting her own skin. If he ever found out that she had hidden information from him, her life or at least free will would be forfeit. If Mei had put together that Gaara had a Hiraishin seal, Danzo could as well.

So she wrote that information down, though Aiko obscured that the seal had been given to Gaara of her own initiative. She discussed Gaara’s history, estrangement from his village, siblings, troubled family history, and personality.

 _‘I’m a little surprised by how much I know about the guy off-hand._ ’ Rotating her wrist and flexing her fingers to rid herself of a cramp, she set that aside and set to analyzing Mei.

That report had considerably less contextual information, but the disadvantage was probably off-set by how much she had to say about the woman’s personality, thought patterns, and motives, as well as her upcoming mission that would put her in close proximity off and on for an extended period of time. For all her intelligence, Mei would be possible to manipulate. She was predictable, despite being an odd blend of pragmatism and playful ego. Certain things were likely to set her off, and she trusted very few, as demonstrated by sending Ao to assist Aiko in sealing the three-tailed demon.

That incident was writ up in full honest detail. Danzo had sent a mission with at least one survivor to prevent the maneuver, so falsehoods would be pointless.

 _‘Well, I’m not being completely honest,’_ she acknowledged in the safety of her own head. ‘ _But it’s the story that’s been told so many times that it may as well be the truth.’_

There was no point in letting Danzo know that she hadn’t really been a seal master at that point. She was getting pretty damn close now. If he were concerned that another seal master might be able to free his agents, he wouldn’t have recruited her in the first place. The man must have some sort of failsafe, or was just arrogant in his abilities. Not that arrogance would be unwarranted. He’d been perfecting his art for decades longer than even Jiraiya.

Mastery wasn’t about completing a certain set of achievements to level up, or even memorizing as many symbols as possible. Those things helped, of course, and she had a fairly solid background in both theory and practice. A seal master was someone who could use problem solving to both unpick and create their own work. Jiraiya was better and faster than she was, but that didn’t mean that her ability to think through problems was lacking so much as it did that he was unrivaled in experience. She’d be pretty fucking awesome too, if she’d started working on it forty years ago.

 _‘To be fair, I think I have an advantage over most people who try to study fuinjutsu. Lately…’_ Aiko frowned thoughtfully, sucking on her lip. _‘I think I found out why Uzumaki were said to be especially able at the discipline, and it makes complete sense with what I know about Uzumaki characteristics. It’s that Uzumaki are prone to sensing chakra in a really detailed way. Karin might be an absolute genius, if anyone ever sat her down and tried to teach her sealing_.’

She was nowhere near as talented as Karin was, but the more she worked with seals, the better her sense for chakra became. Lately, it was to the point where she sensed chakra signatures she was familiar with almost as vividly as if she was literally seeing them. If she had been taught to work with fuinjutsu from childhood, that ability might well have developed years ago.

When she had her two reports completed, Aiko had to dither about what precisely she should do with them. Danzo had said he would send for her, so she would probably be punished for seeking him out to hand them in, but she hardly wanted these found. Her apartment was respectably secure, but clearly not enough so to keep out other elites.

Aiko settled for tugging off her headband and painting a storage seal on the underside of the metal plate, forcing the materials inside. It was one of the few things that hardly ever left her side, and not conventionally thought of as valuable for reasons other than sentimental or political.

There was a reason that this wasn’t convention, of course. It was much easier to put seals on paper because it could be easily disposed of if necessary. But she could just pull the seal up.

That brought an idea… She knew that she could pick up a seal and let it dissolve. Absentmindedly, she sank to a cross-legged position and bent over with her elbows on her knees, trying to think through the possible implications of that point.

_‘If I can dissolve a seal, can I pick something up in the same way and then hold it together instead? If that’s possible, could I then replace or re-use it somewhere else?’_

The theory was compelling, and she hadn’t read anything about it before. So she made an innocuous seal – one meant to make an object lighter and easier to carry—onto a plain sheet of paper. Explosions and time-space manipulations like storage seals were her personal bread and butter, but they were probably among the least safe to experiment with. If a seal like that dissolved when she tried this exercise, the experiment would just be a failure. But if it only _partially_ held together, she could end up short a hand.

And that would be an awful bummer.

By contrast, an incomplete version of something simple like what she’d sketched would just become null or less efficient. Much less risky.

Aiko licked her lips and settled down with a contemplative stare at her prospective experiment. There were multiple ways to go about this. She could try reinforcing it with threads much like chakra strings in order to compel the seal to hold its structure while she moved it, or just overcharge it to make it sturdier, removing the excess when she set it back down. Perhaps no extra chakra would be necessary if she hurried to place it somewhere new instead of waving it into the air as was her habit.

 _‘If it’s done with someone else’s chakra, there might be an extra step,_ ’ Aiko carefully hypothesized. ‘ _I might not be able to support a completely incompatible piece. If that’s true… Convention does already support that you can splice some of your own chakra in to alter a pre-existing seal. That might be enough, or I might have to go through a process of filtering my chakra in while siphoning out the foreign material in order to move a seal.’_

The implications of that were staggering. If it was possible to do that, she could steal other people’s seals, which both meant that they would be available for her one-time use and that she would gain an intimate understanding of the piece itself through saturating it. It might make it possible for her to replicate others’ intellectual genius without having to reverse engineer it.

A thought occurred.

‘ _Why do all the really cool ideas I come up with boil down to doing less work to get more results? Am I really that lazy? God, I must be a total asshole, ripping off of everyone else’s hard work. I don’t have a single original technique. Even the things I invent are just variations on someone else’s genius.’_

But she was getting ahead of herself. None of that would be possible if she couldn’t make a simple exercise like this one work. It may well be that there was some good reason that it would be completely impossible, which would explain why she hadn’t read about it before.

“On the other hand, it might just be completely badass,” Aiko muttered, tearing out another sheet of paper and laying it on her lap before plucking up the seal she’d drawn. It twanged anxiously—but for once, instead of encouraging it to unthread by picking at the fraying edges, she closed her eyes and stilled her own well of chakra, concentrating on a meditative state and attempting to calm the minute shivers of the lifted seal. It seemed to waver along the edges, frequency shifting and attempting to come apart at joints.

She managed to hold it together for three full seconds before gently calming it failed and the seal threaded into nothingness.

Aiko opened her eyes and considered that outcome.

“I think that’s a good sign,” she decided after a long moment, rolling her ankle so that the toes brushed the ground and leaning forward to paint out another symbol. As soon as her fingers touched the brush, she shook her wrist violently and dropped it. “Stupid,” she scolded lowly, sweeping a bit of loose hair behind her ear. “I may as well use a pulse instead of a brush for something this simple.”

The more she used a seal, the easier it was to create without ink, but even if she’d never made it before, a streamlined seal like this should be one she could make by pure chakra. By now her trapped Hiraishin took less than a thought to set, but that was because she’d practiced with it. This one, comparatively simple, took almost a full second of visualization to recreate invisibly on a clean section of paper. It had barely set when she held her palm over it and pulled it upwards.

This time, instead of attempting to still the array, she calculated a circuit and sent her own energy humming along continuously, keeping anything from stilling at all while she waveringly moved it over to the next piece of paper.

“Whoa. Definite difference there.” Aiko blinked at the array in her hand and _gently_ pushed it onto the second surface. It didn’t quite want to take, threatening to overload… ‘ _That’s probably the excess protesting.’_ She scrunched her forehead in concentration and skimmed the top, letting the chakra that had been supplementing the seal dissipate.

And the seal took.

“Hot damn,” she breathed reverently.

Then she gave a fist pump, tilting her head back like a dog about to howl. “Fuck yes!”

Thump thump

Aiko jerked guiltily and looked in the direction of the wall she shared with Yamato. “Eh, he’ll get over it.”

_‘The next thing I should do is see if I can do that with someone else’s seal. Moving and re-using my own seals is interesting, but that would be the real prize.’_

But who could she get a seal from? She supposed she could go to the supplier and just get some of the mass-produced crap. But those were often low-quality, and they only sold explosion, storage, and percussive tags at standard retailers. There just wasn’t enough of a market for anything more specialized.

“I still don’t want to lose a hand experimenting,” Aiko grumped, running her nails through her hair. “I don’t know, I could ask Naruto to pass a request to Jiraiya through his toads?”

She found her brother the next day and asked him to do just that, expecting to just get his acceptance and run off to start on her next mission.

“What’s so wrong with your seals?” Naruto asked distractedly, reading through the note she’d given him.

Aiko shrugged, not eager to get into the long explanation. “They just can’t be mine for an experiment I’m doing, that’s all.”

Naruto nodded seriously. “I see, I see.” He crumpled up her note and merrily tossed it over his shoulder, lunging to pick her entirely up in a hug, awkwardly lifted with her waist to his chest so that she could only pound at his back with her fists. She shrieked as her feet cleared the floor, arms squeezed to her sides and unable to move. “You should have asked me! I trained with the pervert forever, Aiko-chyaaannn.”

“Put me down.”

“I can do it for you! Are you sure they can’t be explosives? I like to make explosives.”

“Naruto, I’m going to bite you if you don’t put me down.”

Her hair whipped him in the face while he spun, but he paid no mind. “How about pudding? I can do this thing where I fill a storage seal and weaponize it to- Ow!” He dropped her over his back like a sack of flour, twisting to pout with teary eyes at the spot on the side of his ribs where she’d managed to claw.

“Pft.” She made a rude sound, pulling her now tangled hair back. “Serves you right. Calm down, crazy. I do appreciate you offering to get me those seals, but they really do have to be something innocuous.”

Odd. She wasn’t used to thinking of Naruto as an adult with advanced skill sets to offer her. He still seemed like her goofy little brother most times.

* * *

“Washboard. Are you leaving tonight?” Sai blinked docilely at her, curled up on the floor in front of the couch with his sketchbook.

 _‘Oh kami, he’s so pretty.’_ Aiko turned her face up and hummed, waiting for the warmth on her cheeks to fade. “Yes, I will. It’s not like I have a lot of travel time, though. I’m expected in a few hours. It’ll only take a moment.”

If she’d been looking down, Aiko would have seen him frown slightly. “I see.”

She did know to glance down at his crisp tone. “Is something wrong?” Aiko pulled forward slightly to scratch her nails lightly down the back of his head and neck, bending over his body to blink down at him. “That sounded dissatisfied.”

“I wonder why the Mizukage has one of your best weapons, that is all. It seems like an opportunity that should only be gifted to trusted allies, if you do not intend to use it to kill her. Do you intend to kill the Mizukage?”

Shocked, she jerked back. “Of course not.” That was an odd thing to say. A bit hostile, actually. Almost as if… “Sai,” Aiko crooned, leaning over to touch the tip of her nose to his forehead and grin obnoxiously. “Are you asking me why I haven’t given you a seal? Of course I trust you.” Stiffly, the boy on the floor averted his eyes.

“Do not be ridiculous. I require no such token.”

“Well, too bad.” She mischievously blew a little puff of air into his face. “Do you have a weapon I can use? Something you keep with you?” He didn’t manage to answer before she leant back and tugged lightly at the short blade on his back. “This, hmmm?”

Sai bent his face forward and his fingers ghosted up to unfasten the strap across his chest securing the weapon without a word. Delighted, she pulled the whole kit off his back and onto her lap.

“This will just take a moment. Would you hand me- yes, thanks.”

A twinge of pain was the only thing to alert her that she’d gone to nibble on her lower lip again in her distraction. She opened her mouth just enough to let the skin slip free, holding her breath and unblinkingly focusing on the symbols she was painting on the underside of the hand guard. Respectfully, Aiko sheathed the blade and set it on the floor, leaning against the couch.

Her Root comrade hadn’t moved an inch since he’d moved to allow her to take his weapon. Somewhat awkwardly, Aiko unfolded her crossed legs and slipped her right leg along his side, toes barely glancing along the floor. Her left stretched out to her aside along the couch, and she placed a tentative hand on his shoulder to help her balance as she leaned over enough to see his face. “Sai?”

His face tilted up, expression unusually warm. Something in her chest thudded at the slight glitter in his dark eyes. “Took you long enough.”

A shiver traced a jagged line up her spine. Wow, he was cute when his mouth was just barely turned up in a faint hint of good humor. Of course, now that she’d noticed them, she just couldn’t stop. They looked…

Aiko leaned down impulsively, touching her lips lightly to his. “Soft,” she murmured, not thinking about the fact that she must be breathing on his face. A hand absentmindedly slipped off of his shoulder to curl across his chest. That was how she found out that his heart was beating erratically.

Once she realize what she’d done, Aiko recoiled back, face flushing.

 _‘What’s wrong with me? Am I really back to normal with that stupid genjutsu gone? I don’t remember being this impulsive. Hormonal, yes. Impulsive, no.’_ she frowned. _‘Except for that thing with Tenten. And when I got that tattoo. I suppose I could consider the time that I let Gaara pound me into the dirt because I thought it would incite Naruto to use the Kyuubi might count, too.’_

Huh. Maybe she really was impulsive, but that was a matter to consider later. Feeling sick, she opened her mouth and started to pull her hand back up. A warm hand curled around her wrist to halt the movement. “Am I so frightening, Washboard?”

“No,” she snapped back reflexively, pouting at him. “I’m not scared. I’m not.”

“Then perhaps you should not act as though you are?” he posited innocently, gaze flickering to her lips once before they met with her eyes again. His body shifted slightly, so that his back was no longer flat against the couch and his shoulder was brushing the fabric. That opened up his body language to display pretty clear interest in her, a clear juxtaposition to his earlier posture.

 _‘He’s into this_ ,’ Aiko realized, feeling a little thrill. ‘ _It’s not just me._ ’ Well. Neither of them was very experienced, she’d guess. But how hard could it be? They’d both done plenty of research, and tons of idiots managed to figure this stuff out on their own. “Why don’t _you_ do something, huh?” she prodded, letting her eyelids slide down so that her vision was partially obscured by her own lashes.

Of course, she was immediately lost at his reply, voice silky and slightly lower than usual. “I prefer to let you lead.”

‘ _Okay, that’s strangely really hot. Even if it’s just that he’s unsure of what to do and he doesn’t want to make an ass of himself.’_

Her knees hit the floor to the side of Sai’s body as her hands connected with his shoulders, forcing him down to the floor with her body braced above his. “Alright then.” The abrupt adjustment to his hips and torso sent his bent knees splayed out to the side of her legs, so she readjusted her position over the older boy. He looked strangely surprised, for someone who had just taunted her about seeming restrained.

“Washb-”

“Aiko,” she corrected, hooking the fingers of her right hand under to pull his high collar down even as her left trailed up his bare abs to slip under his shirt and play at his warm skin.

In lieu of reply, he shuddered, looking vulnerable and strangely anxious for someone who was normally so collected. Self-consciously, he bent his right elbow to allow him to scrape his blunt nails lightly up the back of her bare thigh, stuttering slightly when it reached the hem of her shorts.

“That felt good,” she panted under her breath, bracing herself on her left elbow and curling to bite lightly at the skin she’d exposed on his lower neck and collarbone.

“Nn-”

Sai gave a shocked whine, body jerking underneath hers. She grinned, releasing the skin beneath her teeth to give a light lick before attaching her lips tightly to create a vacuum against his neck. Now that it wasn’t needed to hold his collar down, she switched her weight to her right arm placed snugly against his ribs, close enough to feel his harsh breathing, while she brought her left back up to massage at his other shoulder.

When she pulled up, it was to the gratifying realization that his paper pale skin was already coloring. ‘ _Now that I think about it, this is the second time I’ve marked Sai._ ’ Aiko ran her dry tongue along the inside of her own lips, satisfaction welling up. “Nice.”

His hand had frozen on the very top of her thigh, thumb brushing her ass as if he was too stunned to continue moving. Helpfully, she pushed herself backwards into his hand and dove down to see if his abs were really as nice as they looked. The only scientific way to investigate was by licking them, after all.

 _‘Yes,_ ’ she judged clinically, moving with the way his body swayed with his lower back arching up. ‘ _They are indeed nice. What about those pecs, though? I can’t even see those. They need to be checked as well.’_

Industriously, she pulled down the zipper at the center of his half-shirt and immediately pulled it out of the way so she had a clear path to brush her lips up his torso, interspersing the trail with little licks. The hand on her rear tightened compulsively, and she had to squeeze her eyes shut to concentrate on what she was doing, fighting to focus when the rapid beating of her heart was making it hard to do anything but collapse. Her legs were shaking, but she didn’t want to stop.

So that her weak legs didn’t cause her to completely collapse, Aiko leant back to rest against her comrade’s hips… and froze, eyes wide.

_‘I shouldn’t… I really shouldn’t….’_

“Is that a kunai in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

And Sai turned bright red, using shunshin to escape. Without her support, her knees splayed out to either side and she jerked down before she managed to catch herself entirely.

“I’m never going to get laid, am I,” Aiko groaned, slumping onto the floor and grumpily banging her fist against the floor. “Fuck.”

 

* * *

 

 

Omake

“Who is helping clean up?” Yamato asked a little desperately when things began to wind down.

_‘Not me. I did the cooking, and I’m not the hostess this time. Someone else should.”_

“Naruto and Sasuke,” Aiko hastily volunteered, leaping to her feet and giving Yamato a quick grin, squeezing her eyes shut with false cheer. “I just remembered that I left my apartment on fire, I should go take care of that.” Before the boys could protest, she gave a squirming Uchiha a one-armed squeeze, made Naruto cringe away from a kiss on his forehead, and gave a brisk wave to the rest. “Thank you so much for doing the clean-up, boys. It was nice seeing everyone. Ta!” She tugged on the seal in her bedroom.

The room sat in awkward silence for a moment.

“Suddenly, I’m making all sorts of parallels,” Sasuke said glumly, staring into his sake. Naruto gave an innocent-looking Kakashi a rather doleful glare.

“This is your fault, you know.”

One dark eye widened in mock pain. “Who, me?”


	74. Chapter 74

“Are you even paying attention, Konoha nin?”

“Of course,” Aiko lied, blinking to focus her gaze on the intimidating mammoth of a woman who had come to represent Nadeshiko. _‘Is it really that obvious when I’m watching my seals move? I need to ignore those for now.’_ Her lips threatened to twitch into a frown, but she kept her face locked into pleasant detachment because the dour woman was still glaring at her. _‘Even if I can’t figure out what the hell it is that Sai’s doing.’_

She had two seals on him now. As the seal next to his sword seeped and blended with his chakra signature from constant proximity, it was beginning to develop the distinct flavoring of his own energies.

That meant that he was one big beacon for her attention, even if she hadn’t been wondering about what had happened with them the night before.

“In any case, I don’t see how we could possibly commit to a location until we have seen them for ourselves,” Aiko pushed, causing Mei to roll her eyes yet again.

The Mizukage had only stipulated that they choose a location within Water Country for the meeting they were planning, but had been sensitive to the fact that no country would want to be trapped within a foreign capital with allies, wild cards, and their long-time enemies. It would have made security easier from her perspective, but also have brought her people into contact with a large amount of outsiders with varying agendas, so Mei had gracefully conceded the point.

It was still necessary to account for certain logistical problems with their location. Security, housing, food, and a certain amount of entertainment were expected at something like this, especially since Mei was trying to impress. Tokiwa thought that they needed to hammer out what they required before selecting the most appropriate location, whereas Aiko thought it made much more sense to select a location and tailor their plans accordingly. She was prepared to be stubborn about it.

_‘I’m not about to get stuck working in some town that ends up totally sucking.’_

Aiko narrowed her eyes at the older woman, radiating immovability.

“Why don’t we go on a day trip to the two closest locations?” Mei finally prodded, looking bored by the stand-off.

Of course, when it was the Mizukage’s suggestion, Tokiwa was willing to go with it, Aiko pouted. As she stood, Mitsuo’s nails scratched and skittered at the floor, betraying his eagerness to go for a run. Mei’s aide for the day winced, but didn’t dare say anything.

Perhaps it was impolitic, but she felt better with someone at her back. She couldn’t have Kakashi or Yamato as guards this time, so she had summoned her puppy. Despite being a friendly, gentle sweetheart, the fact that Mitsuo had shot up another four inches in height from paw to head was enough to put wariness onto the faces of all but the most determined of dog lovers.

_‘Pakkun picked me out an intimidating partner.’_

Still wasn’t sure why, precisely. Mitsuo had made it clear that he felt lucky to get a summoner and that there were more than a few puppies his age whose parents had been miffed that Kakashi had never had puppies of his own. She was very fond of her partner, but if she’d picked, it probably would have been one of the smaller dogs to whom human speech came much more easily (the larger dogs’ wide throats and elongated mouths made it much more difficult for them to mimic the sounds and pitches that came naturally to human speakers).

The prospective locations were all relatively close to Mist. That was lucky, since it apparently wasn’t properly dignified for the Mizukage to go sprinting out in the middle of the workday and Tokiwa ended up being their only traveling companion.

 _‘You would think that working with her one-on-one_ (Mitsuo really wasn’t a diplomat…) _would be enough to warm her up to me. There’s no point in being so formal and distant…’_

Perhaps she’d been spoiled by unconventional acquaintances. All the powerful and important people that she knew and worked with (excepting Danzo, of course) didn’t exactly hang on formality. Many sensei wouldn’t have allowed her to speak back, and most shinobi went their entire lives without talking to three Kage, much less ones who let her refer to them on first name terms.

_‘Okay, so Tokiwa isn’t cold and annoying. She just doesn’t want to be my friend, and that’s fine. I don’t really want to be hers either.’_

There was something very unnerving about the older woman. It couldn’t all be attributed to her detachment…

 _‘It’s probably her weird face,_ ’ Aiko decided childishly. ‘ _Just looking at her sends a chill up my spine. There’s just something not right about her and I can’t put my finger on it. She looks like no one I’ve ever seen.’_

But… that wasn’t quite right. Aiko stopped dead in her tracks, unintentionally falling slightly behind Tokiwa before she blinked herself back to the real world and jolted forward. Realization hit her with a sickening suddenness.

Tokiwa looked Western. In this lifetime, she’d never seen a Western face. It didn’t matter what coloring people had—be it Sasuke’s black hair and dark eyes, Ino’s blond and blue, or Sakura’s unearthly hues: everyone she had ever met had similar facial characteristics and builds. But Tokiwa was different: taller than almost every man Aiko had ever seen, and with an unusually long face with a more pronounced nose, jawline, and cheekbone structure.

 _‘I forgot what a Western face looked like._ ’ Involuntarily, she shivered. ‘ _What else am I forgetting?’_

Terrifying. What was she- _who_ was she, if she couldn’t rely on her memory?

* * *

 

“I hope no one comes looking for me in my suite in Mist,” Aiko muttered to herself. She wasn’t worried enough to feel even the slightest bit guilty about shedding her clothes and burrowing into her own bed in a cami and panties, though.

She had just come back from her first debriefing with Tsunade about what she’d been doing in Water Country, even though she hadn’t had much to talk about. Really, she’d gotten more surprising information than Tsunade had, when she’d thanked the Hokage for her butterfly hairpin and gotten a confused look in reply. That left her list of suspects at like, zero. That afternoon, she’d allowed Tokiwa to pick the location for the conference so they could begin planning. It had been foolish to get over-involved in minutia that didn’t actually matter long term. No matter where they had the damn thing, they would have to tailor their plans to the benefits and drawbacks of the locale.

“Nnnnngghhhhhh.”

“Mitsuo, not now,” she mumbled into her pillow. When he whined again, she struggled out of her cocoon enough to pin the hound with a soulful eye. “Don’t do this to me, dude.” He gave an argumentative yap, leaping agilely up onto the bed and trodding insistently on her legs. “Ow, fuck! Get off.” She kicked.

Her friend hit the floor with a doggy grin and a scitter of claws, sliding sideways across the floor until he connected with her rug.

“Oh, fine, you jackass,” she snapped irritably, throwing off the covers. “I’ll go to stupid practice. Even though I could instead be taking a nap.”

“Whuff.”

The distinctly canine laugh was a little too much for her ill mood. Luckily for him, his wagging tail had just cleared the door when her pillow thumped against the hallway wall.

“You’d think I’d already done enough for the day.” With a long-suffering sigh, she struggled into a red skirt and a blue sweater. “I mean, it’s not like I’ve been involved in diplomatic liaisons, Konoha’s political processes, and covert operations in the last twenty four hours,” Aiko grouched self pityingly.

She might actually go mad from overwork if she didn’t get a real break soon.

The tiredness in her bones aside, she dully followed her ninken out the door. He apparently had a relaxed sense of time, and she didn’t have it in her to care right now. The first place that he led her was to a sushi restaurant, where he nudged her into ordering him a roll. Apparently, he liked tuna as much as she liked sweet potato.

‘ _Or maybe he’s just not picky at all.’_ Her eye twitched, and she did her best to ignore the watery eyes pleading for more scraps.

It didn’t work well at all.

“Can I have another roll, please?”

Once he’d scarfed it down, he gently pulled on her skirt with his teeth.

“I’m coming, you bully,” she muttered resentfully, leaning back to drop her money on the table before the hound walking backwards could force her to make the choice between a ripped skirt and following him out. If she went limp, he might actually drag her bodily across town. So she hustled. “Please allow me a little bit of dignity,” she whined through her teeth, taking a swing at his nose, barely brushing the wet appendage with the tips of her fingers.

He raised one ear in a gesture she didn’t want to think too much about, but released her skirt to lope at her side.

“You’re late!”

She nearly jumped out of her skin. “What?” Aiko asked, bewildered by the vehemence in that statement. How late was she-

Late enough that Kakashi had beat her there, apparently. Ah. That was late. ‘ _Well, too damn bad. No point in complaining about it. I have bigger shit on my plate. I came, didn’t I?’_

That sounded a little too hostile. So she settled for a half-truth. “Yes, I laid down for a nap. I had a dream where I remembered what I had to do for the week, but then I forgot it all in the next dream. So I had to go back to sleep in order to remember the first dream and get here. I hurried as fast as I could.”

Okay, so it was less than a half-truth, but being overworked made her a bit contrary. Naruto and Sasuke looked more horrified than her idiotic excuse really merited, however. Kakashi… was beaming.

“It happens to the best of us,” he nodded sagely.

“That’s the dumbest thing I have ever heard,” Sasuke snapped, making a fist.

Before Naruto could manage to properly express his dissatisfaction, the peanut gallery piped up with a dubiously sincere, “I quite liked it.”

At that, Naruto and Sasuke managed to give a first-class bitch face in unison. It was a bit hard to figure out who said what, because “who asked you, jackass” ran into “Why are you only nice to her?”

“Nice is a stretch,” Kakashi mused, scratching at his chin. “His nickname for her isn’t any kinder than yours, Naruto.”

Sai looked downright shocked. “What do you mean, Kakashi-san?”

Crickets chirped. Naruto, who was responsible for the genjutsu, looked unduly pleased to have finally had a reason to demonstrate an auditory genjutsu.

In a sharp contrast to Naruto’s detached delight at the awkward situation, the silver-haired Jounin looked a bit pained. “Sai, please don’t tell me you had no idea the nicknames that you’ve chosen for your teammates are rude.”

“What?” Sai tilted his head like a bird, blinking slowly. A faint line of concern appeared between his eyebrows.

Sasuke groaned. “You’re serious?” he added flatly, fisting a hand in his hair compulsively as if resisting the urge to send Sai flying out of the clearing at such an impressive velocity that he’d never have to deal with the older teen again. “Don’t act like you’re unaware that you’ve been insulting all of us from the day you met us.”

The root agent looked a bit stricken. “I read that nicknames were meant to be commentary on a person’s personality or appearance, humorous because they are either an inverse or an exaggeration of literal traits,” he explained with a hint of strain and big, dark eyes.

The lost tone tugged at her heart strings. “Don’t listen to them,” Aiko soothed, giving a nasty warning glare to the other boys as a group. “I like your nicknames even if the boys don’t. They should be able to have a little humor about their flaws.” She fixed Kakashi and Sasuke with a glare for upsetting the least socially capable person in the area. Really, they should have some sympathy. “If you are all done chatting like ladies in a hair salon, we could move on with practice.”

At her self-righteous tone, Mitsuo gave another whuffing laugh and a whined comment she couldn’t entirely understand. From context, she’d think it was “fine talk, coming from you after I had to drag you here with my teeth,” but it honestly sounded more like nonsense words to her.

Judging by the smugly amused flicker of emotion of Kakashi’s face, it had been the first thing. Damnit.

Still, he was kind enough to shoo the other boys into getting on with practice. She had apparently missed out on a second day of genjutsu training, which unfortunately meant that they’d all had an opportunity to learn one more than she did. That put her at a distinct disadvantage when they all paired off and were restricted to fighting with genjutsu. Mitsuo got bored and went home within minutes of watching them stare at each other.

Kakashi was the overall winner, of course. That was expected.

_‘He’s sort of the master of the mindfuck. Still, this is impressive.’_

Her teammates seemed less pleased to discover that they had been in a genjutsu since they had arrived for practice and were in fact in training ground four.

_‘I have no fucking idea how he managed that. I mean, I wouldn’t be hard to trap right now, but presumably the boys aren’t nearly as tired as I am.’_

“Show-off,” Sasuke sniped, ruffling his ridiculous hair.

Naruto had crossed his arms to pout, but unfolded them to raise a finger at the older man rudely. “You think you’re so tough, huh!”

“Not really.”

The boy’s eye twitched at the disinterested tone and the way that Kakashi was actually beginning to walk away, reaching for the pouch where he kept his book. “Stupid sensei! I can do better than that dumb trick. Watch this, you old jerk! I defeated the pervert sage with this illusion.”

Kakashi turned and looked genuinely interested at that point, but Sasuke whitened to an unhealthy degree. That was the only reason Aiko clued in to what was about to happen before—

“Sexy no jutsu!” Naruto roared, disappearing in a cloud of smoke even as Kakashi pushed up his headband in obvious interest. Naruto wasn’t one to brag about confirmable things like that, after all. She could just see him thinking that he would steal this technique.

Aiko _cringed_ , face-palming even as she began to giggle uncontrollably. Oh god no. Didn’t the Sharingan have perfect recall? She had to peek out from between her fingers though, in some sick, vain hope that he hadn’t- he had.

_‘I am way too tired to deal with this shit. Kakashi and Sasuke are just going to have to cope. At least he put some clothes on me this time.’_

It wasn’t much comfort. It appeared to be a teal version of the bikini she’d worn to the lake with her peers all that time ago, though the cloud version of her was considerably more… Well, it was bustier. Those were a solid D, not her smallish C. The bikini was the same size as the original. It was… ah, it was interesting.

The most atrocious problem, as far as she was concerned, was everything happening below the hips. Why were her legs three inches longer than they should be? What was wrong with her real legs? Self-consciously, Aiko glanced down. That might have been a blessing, because she managed to miss the exact instant that Kakashi realized _what the hell had happened_ and froze like a block of ice, unable to look away until his mind caught up with what he was seeing, fingers still scrunching his headband around his temple.

“Impressed, aren’t you,” a voice that sounded unnervingly like hers _cooed_ in the way she did when trying to butter someone up. The simulacrum delicately turned an ankle up and laced her fingers together, demurely blinking up at Kakashi through her eyelashes.

Legs aside, a fair bit of it was reasonably accurate, though. Those were her delicate wrists, the correct curve in her back, and the proportions of her shoulders and neck were just right. If it weren’t for the expanded chest region, she would have said that the torso was entirely accurate. And of course, that was definitely her face turning to wink at an alarmed-looking Uchiha, which changed the angle she was viewing her own body from.

 _‘ **Damn** , I’m a sexy bitch. Is that really my ass?’_ Aiko put a hand to her hip, swiveling and straining to see for herself. ‘ _Maybe I should get a mirror.’_

“Mou, what’s the matter?” Naruto purred, slinking to Sasuke (who looked stiff as a board) and draping Aiko’s body over him like a mink coat, turning to nose into his neck and running her nails up his chest.

Sasuke made an undignified ‘meep’ sound, appearing desperate to escape but not mentally capable of fighting his way out from under Naruto.

 _‘Haha, kinky thought. Maybe Naruto is going to end up being the one on top, when they eventually stop ignoring all the unresolved sexual tension._ ’ A satisfied smile curled across her face before she realized that the other Jounin was struggling for words.

“What-”

 _‘I’ve never heard his voice sound quite that high pitched before,_ ’ Aiko noted, looking up to check that her doppelganger was still making poses and kissy faces whilst inappropriately invading Sasuke’s personal space, threatening to untie the bikini top. No wonder he’d looked displeased to know the technique was coming, if Naruto used it to tease him.

Kakashi cleared his throat and tried again, with admirable dignity for a man who’d just squeaked, Sharingan eye squeezed firmly shut. “What on earth are you doing, Naruto? Did you really think that was going to stop me in my tracks? It’s not much of a genjutsu if I know it’s real.”

“To be fair, you looked pretty flummoxed to me,” Naruto pointed out practically, going back to his real form with a puff of smoke and a wink. Sasuke relaxed a bit, gaze still darting between Naruto and Aiko as if he expected her to start screaming (or worse, leap at him herself). “Besides, I said it was an illusion, not a genjutsu.”

“He was probably taken aback by all the inaccuracies in your technique,” Sai criticized idly, putting a hand to his hip. “That’s not what Washboard looks like in a state of undress at all.”

Numbly, Kakashi seemed to lose his grip on his headband. It flopped back down all the way to his nose to cover both eyes and he didn’t bother to retrieve it for a long second while everyone else in the clearing looking at each other, wide-eyed.

Suddenly, the situation wasn’t funny.

_‘Someone should take me out back and shoot me dead right now. And then teach Sai social skills. It’s not cute. I take back every time I thought it was because it was backfiring on Naruto and not me.’_

No amount of cringing would actually make her disappear, but she couldn’t just Hiraishin away from the awkwardness either. Who knew what Sai would say if left to his own devices? Would it be better or worse if he clarified that he’d seen her half naked on a mission together when she got a four inch gouge carved into her side?

Naruto appeared to be broken.

“Why do you- Why does he know-” Sasuke looked irrationally upset, turning first to Sai then to Aiko with an accusatory stare. “I thought you had better taste than that.”

“It’s not what-”

For better or worse, that was when Naruto regained his head. “Sasuke, would you help me?” The group at large recoiled from his calm tone. “Hold him. So I can kill him.”

“Okay, that’s enough of this! It was nice practicing we should do this again sometime goodbye I’ll see you later” Aiko chirped out in one breath, blurring the words together in her haste and flash-stepping to Sai’s side, grabbing a fistful of his shirt, and Hiraishin-ing to her apartment.

She didn’t want him maimed, after all. This also got him away from anyone who he might accidentally scandalize further, if that was even possible.

The older teenager landed on his ass with a thump, but went completely limp and docile in response to the look on her face instead of hustling to his feet. “Washboard?”

“Yes, Sai?”

“Have I said something wrong?”

She buried her face in her hands, just too tired to scold him. He didn’t even know what he’d done wrong. So cute, and so hopeless. “A bit. You implied that we’re having sex to my little brother. He’s never going to let this drop, you know. Not that I would be ashamed if we would, but oh my god I don’t want to have Naruto bugging me about anything like that.”

There was a moment of silence, and then slim fingers tugged her hands away from her eyes.

“Sorry?” He tried hopefully.

She snorted, managing to keep her face in place for only a moment before she broke down into giggles. “For future reference,” Aiko managed to start sternly, before she had to shake her head and try again. “If you see a girl in a state of undress, you shouldn’t talk about it. Okay? People will get the impression that you’re bragging and you don’t respect her very much.”

“I understand.” Sai looked mildly pleased to be able to claim that. “I will remember that, and no longer hint as to your past or future indecency in public.”

“Hey now,” she pouted, reaching out to ruffle his hair. He caught her wrist, so she pushed him with her elbow playfully. “That wasn’t the nicest way to phrase that. I guess it doesn’t matter, though.” When he released her wrist, she snaked it around his upper back to pull him into an awkward hug. “You’re adorable, Sai.”

Bang bang bang

“I know you’re in there!” Naruto hollered, still sounding a mite upset. “Let me in, Aiko. Sasuke says you want to give him a talk about birds and bees and that’s a bad talk!”

_‘He doesn’t sound like he’s in a particularly rational frame of mind… I really should sit him down and tell him that it wouldn’t be any of his business even if I was banging half of Konoha, but that sounds like it would be awkward and uncomfortable. I could just avoid him instead until he cools down. Yes. That’s a good plan.’_

“The window?” Sai asked a bare instant before she nodded, already on her feet and rushing through the apartment.

* * *

 

He found the boy exactly where he had expected to, sitting cross-legged and grumpy in the hallway between Tenzou and Aiko’s apartments.

“Naruto?”

“Ungh,” the teen grunted noncommittally in reply, still pissy about having failed to find his sister to find out why the hell she had made such a bizarre life choice.

Kakashi cleared his throat sternly. “Why did you invent that technique?”

Blue eyes blinked and finally focused, now that the topic was interesting to him. “Well, you see the pervert wasn’t paying any attention to me, so I thought that he would if I were a pretty girl and I wanted to make a point about his lack of attention and unsuitability as a ment-”

“Naruto.” The strain in his voice was a little more audible than he would have liked. “It’s a ridiculous technique, but I’m not surprised in the slightest that you came up with it. My question is why you used your sister for it.”

‘ _And why she hasn’t killed you,_ ’ he thought a bit darkly.

The teen looked at him like that was the dumbest question he’d ever heard. “I wanted to make a pretty girl,” he said slowly, like Kakashi had suddenly stuck his fingers up his nose and Naruto didn't want to acknowledge it. “I tried to make it what I would look like as a girl, and I realized I’d probably look like Aiko.”

 _‘That’s not exactly how genetics work,’_ he thought despairingly, but didn’t even try to educate the blond. It wasn’t relevant, and Naruto was still babbling with an unnecessary amount of hand movements.

“I looked at my face, and it was too broad and I have baby cheeks and then I realized I was putting way too much thought into this because Aiko is one of the prettiest girls I know and when I thought about making it Ino I felt weird for some reason-”

Now that he’d started talking, he just wouldn’t stop. Kakashi had quite enough to try to avoid thinking about now, thanks very much, and he didn’t need to spend five minutes wondering if he should be explaining puberty to Naruto, since the twit apparently hadn’t figured out for himself why thinking of Ino nearly naked affected him more than it did to think of his sister, who he obviously had no desire to fuck because he didn’t consider her as a sexual being. Aesthetically appealing, yes, but not sexual.

 _‘I know she’s an adult, but that wasn’t good for my heart._ ’ He slouched, a little pained. How awkward, to have seen one of his subordinates in such an intimate light, even if it wasn’t really her. That wasn’t professional at all, and she was too young to be doing… that sort of thing, prancing around almost naked. Well, okay, she wasn’t, but he didn’t want to see it. God, Minato-sensei would probably have cheerfully bludgeoned him to death for unintentionally ogling his fifteen year old daughter. With his Sharingan. So that the image of Naruto using the technique to recreate a fidgeting habit that he recognized—Aiko tilting her hip as she ran a hand down her side to reach for a weapon—was burnt into his brain.

It looked a little different in lingerie. It could never be un-seen.

Kakashi cringed, feeling like he was about to be scolded. He hadn’t even done anything wrong. He’d just looked a little, that was all. He hadn’t touched. He wouldn’t even have _looked_ if Naruto hadn’t sprung that on him. Unconsciously, he put his hands in his pockets as if to symbolize keeping his hands to himself.

It was going to take some heavy duty brain bleach to pretend that hadn’t happened and manage to actually look at Aiko again when they had to work together. And Naruto could just do that awful technique at any time…

Luckily, he knew a way to nip this in the bud.

“Naruto, if you don’t want _Sai_ to think about your sister naked, do you really want to show that technique to anyone else?”

There was no point in letting Naruto know that there was zero chance that someone as awkward as Sai had managed to seduce his sister. Really, Naruto should have known to trust Aiko when she’d started to deny the accusation, but his alternative to using the easy target was saying something about Sasuke looking at her, and that would only lead to paranoia on Naruto’s part. Or worse, the realization that there had been another man in that clearing. He didn’t need Naruto shrieking accusations at him in public, thank you very much. Jiraiya would _kill him_ if he thought he had been taking advantage of his goddaughter while she was under his protection.

“That’s different,” Naruto protested crossly, brow wrinkling. “Sexy no Jutsu is funny and makes perverts bleed out of their nose because they want to touch the illusion. I just don’t like the idea of… perverts… touching…” He trailed off, tan skin whitening more than Kakashi would have thought possible.

 _‘Ah, there’s the missing puberty,’_ he noted cheerfully _. ‘He must have been avoiding considering that for a while now._ ’ Duty done, Kakashi gave a half-wave and fled.

* * *

 

In, out. In, out. Aiko just concentrated on breathing steadily for lack of anything else to entertain herself.

_‘Not that watching old people read isn’t thrilling…’_

Danzo flipped yet another page, slowly and steadily working his way through the second set of scrolls. He had initially been more interested in Terumi Mei’s profile—that made sense, as she was the one Aiko was currently working with. But he might have changed his preferences. After he had rushed through that notebook, he had turned to read the one on Gaara.

It was taking an inordinate amount of time. He had already given her orders to spy on everyone from the Mizukage to Tokiwa.

 _‘This is probably another idiotic discipline thing,’_ she groused, keeping her face smooth and free of irritation. _‘Danzo is stressing the power dynamic between the two of us by making me stand here.’_

It must have been an hour already since he had started reading. _‘I just want to go to bed,’_ she felt like crying out. She did know better. Showing weakness like that would just end with her either punished or downgraded in usefulness. She couldn’t have that. She would get done with this mission when she had enough information to help Tsunade pick up the pieces of Root after Danzo was removed from power. No sooner. The more he trusted her, the less she would have to sneak around him to gain information.

Not that she expected him to exactly entrust her with the keys to his kingdom, of course. She would settle for letting her go to sleep, though. A girl could only have so many of these late nights before she ended up as pale as Sai.

 _‘Not that I’m much darker,’_ Aiko thought self-depreciatingly. _‘It won’t take too many more of these late nights until I look like a vampire too.’_

“Sakura.”

That name did cause her to look up, if only because no one ever said it anymore. Around her, at least. Ino probably hadn’t completely forgotten the girl who had been her best friend for years.

“You have a more than professional relationship with the Kazekage?”

_‘Is that his super awkward way of asking if we’re friends?’_

There was no point to lying. They weren’t exactly bosom buddies, but it would be a bit thick to deny that they knew each other on a personal basis. Many people could verify that.

“Hai, Danzo-sama.”

“Hmm.” The old man delicately pieced through the notebook on Gaara again, seeming to come to a decision. “This provides a unique opportunity to gain more nuanced information. You will seduce the Kazekage, if he is even capable of such weakness.”

‘ _What. The. Fuck.’_ Aiko wheezed lightly, feeling as if someone had just suckerpunched her in the gut to knock out all her air. ‘ _That’s disgusting! What is wrong with this man?’_ Her heartbeat was beating a violent tattoo against her chest, mouth agape and eyes so wide that the whites were probably showing. Her distress was probably apparent even behind her mask to a man like Danzo.

Its not- it wasn’t like the idea of flirting with Gaara was disgusting. She’d done that before. He was attractive, intelligent, and powerful. That was the combination that revved her up, to be frank.

_‘But he’s basically ordering me to whore myself out. That’s not—that’s not my job. That’s not who I am. There’s no honor in that.’_

Danzo gave a mocking little laugh. “Calm down, child. Have you really no experience?” He shook his head sadly. “Such a thing used to be a standard part of the preparations for shinobi life. Your body is your best weapon, be it for taijutsu or for less obvious applications. Do you really think that such a thing is unique? That sensei of yours used his pretty face for those purposes too, once upon a time.”

 _‘Oh my god, ew. He’s talking about Kakashi having to whore himself out for this awful hole in the wall town. That’s far too undignified for someone so powerful and-’_ Aiko halted in her train of thought. _‘Why… why would he know if Kakashi really had that kind of mission? He’s not the Hokage._ ’

That disturbing thought bubbling in her head, she couldn’t even focus enough on her current situation to panic. It probably helped, even if she was now remembering that Kakashi had once upon a time been a vulnerable, unguided genius in ANBU, a very familiar scenario.

_‘But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.’_

Surely she would know if Danzo had gotten his claws into Kakashi. He just wasn’t the type, that was all, she tried to convince herself. He would never allow himself to be used that way. The man he was now would… not… But he wasn’t always that man, was he.

‘ _It’s not like I can ask him,’_ she thought bitterly, bowing her head slightly. ‘ _He wouldn’t be able to say, even if he abandoned Root. And Danzo won’t say a thing beyond what he just did.’_

“It’s about time you had the rest of your ANBU training, isn’t it?” Danzo mused quietly. “Bring that up to the Hokage when next you see her. That is all, Sakura-chan.”

She didn’t even remember leaving Danzo’s side. When Aiko came back from the red hot whine of panic, she was mechanically stripping her ANBU uniform in exchange for plain blue slacks and the standard issue blue shirt. “I have to know,” she mumbled to herself, not bothering to put back down a single one of her weapons and searching out Kakashi’s seal.

It was the middle of the night: about four a.m. Kakashi would certainly be in bed. Even he had to sleep at some point.

She didn’t care. Aiko found his signal and pulled on it, going from the dim light of her room to pitch-black visibility in an apartment she’d never even seen before. About a second later, she was flat on her back with about 180 lbs of startled shinobi on top of her, taut muscles pressing her wrists together and a thumb into the underside of her jaw.

There was a sniff.

“Aiko?”

“Sorry, I thought I felt a chakra pulse,” she lied evenly, even as if he leapt back like her flesh burnt him. He’d been sleeping. He wouldn’t know that she was lying. Kakashi had lived through things she couldn’t even imagine : he would have PTSD that would make her cry in a corner. If he never had nightmares, she would eat Smaug. He could easily have sparked chakra in his sleep and never even know.

She flipped to her feet and ran a hand through her loose hair, fingers tangling in the wavy strands. “Well, you appear to not be in any particular need of assistance,” she said dryly, giving a loose wave, eager to flee his presence.

There was no denying or ignoring what she had to have been subconsciously blocking out before. In such close quarters, the sickly feeling of Danzo’s chakra clinging to Kakashi’s jaw had been unmistakable.

He’d been Root. The seal hadn’t been as refined as the one on her own tongue, and the chakra signature had faded in the many years since it had been given, but Kakashi had been Root.

She felt oddly betrayed.

Kakashi was left blinking one red and one gray eye at the spot where his former student had been only a moment ago. “Odd,” he mused, feeling unease trickle up his spine that he couldn’t quite explain. It was more than a bit out of character for Aiko to appear in his bedroom in the dead of the night. He felt a bit guilty for pouncing on her like that, but he had been rather surprised to see… or rather feel her in his room, as he’d only known who it was when he’d knocked her over.

Convulsively, Kakashi moved to put his hands in his pockets for a reason he couldn’t quite articulate—and had the unpleasant realization that he hadn’t worn real pants to bed. Boxers didn’t have pockets.

And he felt even more awkward than he had a moment ago.

_‘Maybe I should start sleeping in full uniform.’_

* * *

 

Doesn’t that make all you Gaara shippers to feel better, knowing that Danzo is the skipper? (or Vice-Captain? I don’t really know ship terminology, but he’s definitely on that boat).


	75. Chapter 75

"Hokage-sama, may I speak with you?"

Tsunade squinted at the man in her office suspiciously. Why was he acting polite? That bastard was never polite. Was something wrong?

"If you don't have coffee, don't bring me any problems," she warned sternly, jerking her head at the door in an indication for him to shut it behind him. Unease stirred in her gut when Hatake meekly slunk in and waited for her to invite him to speak. That really was odd behavior for him. Normally, he was a swinging pendulum between apathy and sassiness, which was a large part of why he was one of her favorites. Hatake-kun was entertaining. "Is something wrong?" she finally settled.

The man looked a little sheepish. "You know, I'm not entirely certain," he admitted honestly. "It's about Aiko. I don't know what you have her doing, and I know that you probably won't tell me. But I am also relatively certain that if you'd seen her lately you would give her a break."

Thoughtlessly, she opened her mouth to scowl and tell the idiot that Aiko had just had a week off, and- and she froze, considering the repercussions of that line of thought. Hatake was a little overprotective, yes, but he wasn't irrational or blind. If Aiko had been able to relax at all, he wouldn't be bringing his concerns to her.

' _But she's also not an idiot. She wouldn't over work herself for no good reason,_ ' Tsunade mused, considering all the options although she was already certain she knew what had happened. If her suspicions were correct, it would also explain one of the petitions on her desk that she'd been frankly baffled by.

' _The girl made it into Root already. Danzo knew that I had her on leave, so he knew it would be safe to use her as an operative because there would be no time conflicts. That's why she's worn down.'_

The conclusion was carefully hidden behind a veneer of mild concern. "I see. What exactly has been unusual lately?" The expression of concern wasn't entirely a lie. She had given Aiko time off because the girl needed it in preparation for the upcoming stresses. No matter how talented and intelligent she was, Aiko was human—and worse, a teenager in a delicate developmental stage. She needed rest, both physical and mental to perform optimally and continue to grow.

"Well…" Kakashi-kun shifted uncomfortably. "She's constantly sleep-deprived, forgetful and occasionally late to practice, as well as experiencing what seem to a wide array of mood swings."

Pretty standard stress stuff, really. There was probably a story behind the way that Kakashi-kun compulsively shoved his hands into his pockets like the air was lava, but she chose to pursue another line of thought.

' _That means Danzo is risking one of my most promising shinobi, and probably on stupid, unimportant crap. That bastard.'_

No wonder he'd disagreed with Sarutobi-sensei on everything. There was no damn sense in working your people until they broke. It was both cruel and inefficient. The obvious solution would be to give Aiko time off again. But… ' _If I do that, that moron will just take it as leave to send her on his fake missions again. She'll get no rest within village walls.'_

The next best thing would be to give her time to relax outside of the village, where Danzo couldn't get to her even if she were to use Hiraishin. That meant posted with a small unit who would keep an eye on her at all times so she could honestly say there had been no way to report in. Finally, in order for the mission to be relaxing at all, it had to be well below what would tax her. Surely she could find something that Aiko could complete easily, that would take at least several days of travel, and give her team orders to complete a side mission or something that would require them to rest in the lap of luxury of a hotel somewhere for a few days.

Irritating about the timing, however. She'd had plans for that team, and Kakashi absolutely could not be spared. Who else could go with Aiko? Certainly not that Sai boy, if the point was to give her a break from the stresses of Root. It would preferably be a group she was already comfortable with.

"Thank you for bringing me your concerns, Kakashi-kun," she praised warmly, knowing that whenever the man in front of her managed to express something in a normal, human way, it was the result of a lot of effort.

Tsunade froze, suddenly making a connection to a small mystery and having to put a hand to her mouth to hide her amusement. "Of course," she added smoothly like the statement had been planned all along, "you don't have to pretend to me that you haven't been snooping around. I bet you found her ANBU assignment, didn't you?" At his sheepish slump, she knew she'd hit paydirt. "And that would be why you attempted to tell her that you were still paying attention to her worklife and that she was free to talk to you about it by hinting you knew her cover identity," she drawled, stifling snickers.

Really, it was adorable that he tried so hard to protect his subordinates, but she couldn't help but giggle at just how clueless and needlessly circumspect he was at times. _Of course_ Aiko hadn't figured out what he'd meant by that damn hair pin that matched her mask. Kakashi was insanely paranoid and forgot that others didn't spend all their time playing silent mind games.

Aiko could hardly be blamed for failing to track his thought patterns and discern what he'd meant by his silent (and anonymous) show of support. The boy was an absolute lunatic. Damn good shinobi, though.

' _And apparently a good, concerned leader,_ ' she mused, letting herself smile. "How does giving her a nice, long mission well below her capabilities sound?"

Kakashi frowned at the concession, apparently thinking that she should just give the girl time off. Tsunade didn't blame him for the thought. It did seem a bit stingy without the contextual knowledge she had. Still, he didn't protest, knowing that she was taking him seriously enough to give Aiko a much less stressful assignment. "Thank you, Hokage-sama," he murmured, giving an unusually respectful bow.

"Oh, don't thank me just yet," she sighed, cracking her neck. "You're not going with her."

At that, her soldier looked a bit mutinous.

"I just can't spare you for that long," Tsunade explained gently. "I have something only you can do just right. Still, if it would make you feel better, you can choose Aiko's team leader."

"Tenzou," Kakashi replied without even having to think.

' _Good. That was who I hoped for.'_

"Very good then," the Hokage allowed. "I'll find them a mission today. Actually," she mused, "I don't think I'll move them around too much. Tenzou will be leading team seven."

He seemed to be just fine with that idea.

After Kakashi-kun left her office, Tsunade began shuffling around missions requests to find something suitable. Whatever it was had to be a real mission, of course, both so that it wasn't a waste of resources and because Danzo might smell a rat if Aiko was given a four day trip to the spa.

' _If I send them on something like a tracking mission, Yamato and the boys can take the offensive and let Aiko fall back when it comes to the combat,'_ Tsunade mused, examining all the missions that would require extensive hunting. Aiko might like going back to her roots.

Luckily, there was no one else in the office to see the Hokage lightly slap her own head in punishment for that unintentional but awful pun.

"Well, I wasn't planning on sending anyone out on this mission just yet…" Tsunade narrowed her eyes at a mission request. It was an unusual one, mainly because it was a request from Suna to hunt down a missing ninja in Wind Country.

"In terms of combat, that would be a good-match up," she thought aloud, cracking the joints in her fingers. "All three of those boys are well-prepared to smash the living hell out of puppets."

The thought was almost nostalgic. She hadn't had the pleasure of seeing a puppet master's face bulge when she casually ripped apart their precious baby like it was made of balsa wood in years. Strangely longing, she gave a heavy sigh and marked the assignment. Sasuke would probably enjoy it, at least, and that would have to be enough.

"Well, that's taken care of," she said to the room at large, tossing the missions roster back down and leafing through her 'in' pile for something else. When she found it, she licked her lips and settled back to re-read it, this time with the hypothesis that Danzo had actually been the one to push this agenda through a puppet or ally to keep his name away from it. "Has to be," she murmured, tapping her index finger against the first page of the document and turning her gaze up to the ceiling to think.

Her knee-jerk reaction was to deny any agenda that Danzo pushed. This move wasn't the pleasing but baffling charity she'd first thought it was when the document landed on her desk. Strangely, she was actually a little disappointed that there was an agenda behind this, because the argument disguising that agenda was one she was very sympathetic to.

' _But it does make a lot more sense that someone would suddenly pick up the Uzumaki clan's case because they wanted an ear in the small council to replace the elders,_ ' Tsunade allowed with a hint of bitterness.

It brought up some cogent points. Firstly, though the Uzumaki had never been a clan in Konoha, they had been a clan for so long that it was a bit insulting to treat them as a first generation new-comer. The argument followed the line of thought that Konoha had already recognized the Uzumaki as a clan in the days of its founding, and since that had never been rescinded, the Uzumaki were technically as old as the Uchiha or Senju. The clan had been an ally of their village for so long, the paper argued, that having Aiko on the large council was an insult to a group that Konoha still supposedly valued enough to have memorialized on their flak jackets.

Whatever message putting the Uzumaki head on the large council sent could only be a negative one. ' _It's only because your relatives were slaughtered en masse when we didn't get there in time to help that we feel confident treating you like second class citizens,'_ Tsunade mocked internally, imagining Aiko's face in those boring meetings. ' _Don't take it too personally._ '

It wasn't as if the Uzumaki had never done anything for Konoha, or were new to Fire Country. Tsunade's grandmother had been an Uzumaki, as had several other scattered in-laws in the Senju family tree.

Tsunade hit herself again, hoping that a mild bit of pain would jar her away from making puns like that. Honestly, the Senju family tree…

She shook her head to clear the thought. "Well, Aiko would definitely not be pleased," Tsunade had to acknowledge in the sake of fairness. But then again, she was a grumpy little thing and the Hokage's office just didn't have the luxury of considering a soldier's comfort in every decision. Politically speaking, she didn't see a good way to reject this proposal without marring either her or Konoha's reputation for impartiality and valuing allies. When this mission was over, she could appoint a representative or something.

Speaking of representatives… "Well, she's only supposed to be in Mist one more time this week," Tsunade sighed. It wasn't perfect, but Aiko was just going to have to Hiraishin to that meeting, because it was too late to send someone else to Mist in time. She'd schedule a stop.

* * *

' _Why am I here when I could be doing reading about Academy enrollment and graduation?'_ Aiko groused silently, thinking of the papers in her hip pouch ready to be perused.

Not that she was particularly eager for that scintillating read, of course, but it had to be done. She had already met with her committee yesterday, and the preliminary discussions they'd had there had made her think of something else that she hadn't properly investigated. All she really knew so far was that it seemed there really was a problem in terms of their standing military force. That was a problem she didn't mind looking into, to be frank.

Instead, here she was getting briefed on a mission that would interfere with her long-standing assignment of diplomatic duties to Mist and Nadeshiko. Great joy.

At least her role was small, and the missing nin they were hunting down as a favor to Gaara (who was still ridiculously understaffed) didn't seem to be particularly imposing. The profile hadn't exactly endeared her to the man, but she thought that she could get into his head well enough to track him.

"I don't see why we have to hurry and leave the village in order to spend a night in the first town outside Fire Country," Naruto verbalized, sounding like he was actually half-hoping for an answer.

He didn't get one.

"Too bad, maybe when you're Hokage you'll get to know all the inane details," Tsunade taunted.

Naruto reddened, face instantly contorting into a pout. He stuck his tongue out at her—and then gagged when Sasuke casually crinkled and shoved his copy of the mission report in Naruto's open mouth.

"Show some respect, jackass. If you want to be Hokage so badly, you should respect the office."

"Thank you for defending my honour, fair prince," Tsunade added wryly, ignoring the rude one-handed gesture Sasuke made at her for implying that he was trying to help her out.

' _I just can't deal with this shit right now. I'm mentally powering down. Yamato can cope with them or not, I don't care anymore.'_

She went directly to the gate to wait. Her packing was all done—tags prepared in advance either tucked in with her weapons or used as bookmarks in one of the notebooks in her little decoy knapsack.

Her teammates were not nearly so prepared, so it was another half an hour until they set off, and after dark when they finally reached their hotel.

"Aiko, you'll be rooming with me. Boys, you're next door." Yamato nodded at the adjacent room, doing a valiant job of pretending not to see them mocking him through hand gestures. A half-second later, Naruto's eyes narrowed into a suspicious glare at the older man. Their temporary captain met his gaze mildly, as if totally unaffected by the hostility.

Naruto broke eye contact first. "Alright then, Captain Yamato. See you in the morning."

' _Please tell me he's not going to turn into the over protective brother cliché. That would suck.'_

Aiko didn't comment, however. "Goodnight, boys." When the door closed behind them, she gave Yamato a questioning look.

There was excellent rationale behind this arrangement, in terms of combat. Naruto and Sasuke worked very well together. But traditionally, when there were two Jounin and two lower level shinobi on a team, they would split with a Jounin in each group.

It wasn't as though it mattered. In the right circumstances, both Naruto and Sasuke were at least Special Jounin in terms of offensive skill. They could handle about anything that could be thrown at them in the two seconds it would take Yamato and Aiko to come to their side.

Yamato seemed to ignore her nonverbal cues as well. Now that was odd. "Yamato?" she prodded, slightly curious. "May I ask what that was about?"

Her docile tone seemed to throw him for a loop. Those pretty brown eyes blinked at her twice before he dropped his bag onto his bed and turned his face up contemplatively, scratching at his chin. "Well," he began thoughtfully, "Naruto and Sasuke bicker a lot, but they actually make an excellent team. But more importantly, I've been gently threatened by Kakashi-senpai to make sure that you don't get overtaxed on this mission."

"Gently threatened," Aiko repeated dumbly, not quite computing.

Yamato gave a contemplative hum. "Yes, he seems to believe that you've been stressed lately, but found that arranging a relaxing mission and telling me it was my head on the line was easier than walking up to you and asking if something was wrong."

The only sound in the room was her groan, followed by the slap of the flesh of her palm against her forehead.

"Yes," her temporary captain agreed sympathetically, "So get to sleep." He gave a sigh, and in a lower tone confided, "I don't think anyone has ever had to babysit a Jounin before."

Aiko threw a pillow at him.

As soon as she got it back, she went to sleep. First thing in the morning, she was expected in Mist to argue over how many aides each representative should be allowed to bring, and who those representatives should be. Ugh, politics.

She didn't know what lies Yamato had told the boys in order to keep them busy in that border town in Wind Country for so long, but when she came back from her meeting with Mist, it was to Yamato sitting in their hotel room reading another one of those awful looking texts on architecture.

"That was faster than I expected." Gently, the book was shut and tucked away. "Have a nice trip?"

Aiko gave him a mildly disbelieving look. "Yes, it was the vacation I'd dreamed of. The Mizukage and I painted each others' toenails and talked about boys."

He pouted. "I was just being polite," Yamato grumbled, cheeks pink. "There was no call for that. You really are in a bad mood lately."

She let her shoulders slump, feeling a little guilty. "I'm sorry," Aiko apologized. "I shouldn't sass you quite so much. You do need sassed, but not because I'm in a temper. Only when it's really funny or you deserve it."

The look she got in return for that crappy apology was dry. "Charming." He left it at that.

Duty done, she cleared her throat. "So, ah, are we going to leave?"

"The boys are scouting for signs of our target," Yamato informed distractedly, taking out a kunai and beginning to play with it, balancing it on the tip of a finger. She gave him an odd look.

"But neither of them have any idea of what to look for."

' _I don't think either one of them has a single qualification as a tracker. What are they doing, going around asking if the locals have seen a missing nin?'_

"Hmm… That's right, they don't," her captain said in a very unconvincing tone of realization. "I guess you'll just have to take a nap or run to the spa or something while we wait for them to report."

For the first time out of combat, she looked at Yamato with a bit of admiration. "That's evil," Aiko informed him. "You just don't want to tell them that this isn't a real mission, do you?"

"It is a real mission," Yamato protested, putting away the short blade and turning mournful puppy eyes on her. "It just isn't expected to be particularly difficult or time sensitive. Tsunade-sama wasn't planning on sending anyone for a week." He paused, before adding, "Nor do we actually have any information indicating the target will even be in the area yet. Tsunade-sama thinks that we'll find him heading for a certain ruin in Wind Country, but admits that he might not even be going there yet." The man shrugged, as if it didn't matter to him either way.

"So, you really are babysitting me." She cringed. "I get the message, Kakashi," Aiko grumbled under her breath while Yamato watched with poorly hidden amusement. "I will take a nap and do my best to get my head in order to make this doesn't happen ever again."

As infantile as it made her feel, laying down for a nap and catching up on missed sleep did make her feel immensely better. She woke up twice on her own and merely went back to sleep without checking the time. Someone would wake her if it was actually important.

Apparently, that time when it was important came at about eight in the evening, when her captain meandered back into the room and quietly set a plate of chicken and vegetables on the table by the head of her bed.

The unusually close proximity startled her into alertness, heart thumping and her body already moving to scramble away. Yamato gave her a surprised look at the way she was huddled in the blankets on the opposite side of the bed. "Those are some lethal reflexes, there," he commented a bit mockingly before turning away. "Dinner."

"Yes, thank you," she replied automatically. When he closed the hotel door behind him with a click, she drew her knees up to her chest and squeezed her eyes shut.

' _Danzo had his claws in a lot of people at one time or another, didn't he?_ ' Lightheaded, she gave a reproachful glare to her dinner, as if it was to blame for Yamato coming close enough for her to pick up on that chakra she was really beginning to despise.

Learning that Yamato had been one of Root's tools at one point wasn't even shocking, though it was a bit upsetting.

She'd had time to think on how Danzo must have gotten a hold of Kakashi. It had probably been when he was about fourteen, after Minato had died. Kakashi had lacked any sort of support structure, no one was around to display overmuch interest in his comings and goings, and he was definitely vulnerable to manipulation centered around his duty to the village and how to protect the people in it. God only knows the man had a poorly hidden tendency towards self-flagellation.

Kakashi, and others like him including Yamato, had probably been recruited into Root under the impression that it was simply a legitimate expansion of ANBU operations. By the time they realized anything was wrong, they were already sealed and could not admit their illegal activities under Danzo's orders. It would be possible to simply stop reporting to the man. If you were visible like either of them and Danzo didn't see the operative as a threat, he would just let them recede back into the regular corps with their time in his organization as a black mark on their conscience that couldn't ever be assuaged.

It was nastily efficient, and it really shouldn't surprise her to find out that any individual who had been put into black operations at a young age had been recruited. Danzo liked his operatives young and strong.

' _But he probably doesn't want them particularly youthful.'_ Aiko cracked an ironic smile, reaching for her chopsticks and setting her eyes on the broccoli on her plate. _'I suppose I could check on Gai-san and anyone else I know who moved up in the ranks quickly. I only need to be within a few feet to find out for myself.'_

That was a little close to be casual, to be honest. But on a busy street or in a restaurant, it could be passed off as coincidence that she brushed nearby.

' _I'll just have to keep a mental list. This is one way to pick up on his infrastructure, I guess.'_

It could have been worse than finding out that half the people in her life had been used by Danzo. Waking up to the feeling of Danzo's chakra had been a pants-wettingly scary experience. She really didn't want to think of him hanging out by her bedside. It was much better for it to be Yamato.

' _Although…'_ She bit her lower lip and looked down at the tacky floral bedspread. ' _I have no idea what kind of consequences having that seal for years could have. Or worse… what consequences there could be for having it after Danzo is dead. Does he have a successor? I doubt it. Having someone set up to take the reins is usually the best way to encourage someone to think about inheriting prematurely, and he's far too controlling to share power when he doesn't have to. On the other hand, he does genuinely think that what he's doing is best for Konoha, and he might not want for it all to be lost. The seals could redirect their loyalty to someone else… or just kill everyone holding it to protect his posthumous reputation.'_

A shiver went up her spine.

' _It's not like I can walk up to Kakashi and offer to remove his seal. He'd know I was involved with Root. But I have to get those off of anyone I care about before the end.'_

At least Naruto and Sasuke were out of Danzo's reach, protected by the Hokage's personal interest. Tsunade would definitely notice anything that happened with them.

Besides, Aiko was watching too, with a much better view of all parties. ' _If Danzo is stupid enough to try to recruit the boys, I'll fucking kill him. He should know better than to try to touch Naruto. He'd die screaming if he did.'_

* * *

Author's Note

Fair warning, everyone. I'm covering movie territory next chapter, though I think in a much more plot relevant way. If you don't think I can make a movie entertaining for you, then don't read the next chapter, and you should probably be prepared to skim the next one. You _will_ be missing character development, but I know that there are people who rabidly despise those texts. No comments about not liking the movies, please. It won't make a difference. That's why this chapter is on the short side, and there is no difference between ff and AO3 for this chapter.

Just a reminder: Aiko knows only what I did at the time that I began writing this story. I have done a considerable amount of catching up and research to continue writing, but none of that is reflected in her perspective. I've been giving hints as to what she knows and that there are holes in what she thinks is fact, but she hasn't yet been confronted with something completely outside of the bounds of what she knows.

She's going to freak the fuck out.

Actually, on another note, I have two additions of interest on my profile. I have gotten some more amazing fanart that you might want to look at. I've also added a more detailed explanation of the difference between AO3 Vapors and this version to try to answer questions.

One more thing—on Kakashi and Yamato being in root, since I keep getting questions: I didn't make that up, actually.

For anyone who is interested, here's a preview into the next chapter. It'll spoil which movie we're looking at, for those who are familiar with them, but I thought it might be nice to offer supplementary material.

* * *

"If I were a third-rate puppet master, where would I be," Aiko mused, flicking through the personality profile she'd been given as part of her mission materials. Sasuke lifted his head to give her a doleful stare, then drooped again.

The boys were bored senseless by this sort of mental exercise, but she actually found it invigorating.

' _They'll just have to cope until they get a chance to smash Mukade's face in.'_

Her lips twitched. It probably wasn't fair to relegate them to the mindless muscle of the operation. Not having training in her specific niche of the shinobi arts didn't make either of them stupid, and tracking this way didn't appeal to everyone.

Almost any shinobi worth their salt could follow a trail once they'd been close to their target, through observation of the terrain. But the cold hard logic and mind games of attempting to access the mindset and goals of a stranger was something that didn't appeal to everyone.

Aiko loved it. It was like a puzzle, only she got to stomp in faces when she was inevitably right.

Mukade was a Chuunin from Sunagakure, one known more for his attempts at innovation than his power. He might have done better in another village, one that relied less heavily on very specific, almost ritualistic habits in order to maintain their bare existence. When all attention was turned to survival, it was hard to care about people with big dreams.

' _With ambitions like that, he's probably prideful.' Aiko_ blew out a puff of air, re-examining the attempted reforms he'd tried to push from a low level political position. _'Probably all burnt up on the inside that he never managed to get enough influence to push his agendas, and never had the sheer power to force the issue.'_

It was hard to see what of those two varying goals he would pursue, if it weren't for the fact that he appeared to be a total loner. Once ejected from Sunagakure, he had no chance of legitimately gaining power, and lacked the inclination to make friends.

He would go in search of physical power, likely in the form of some augmentation or tool. Mukade would have to start all over again from scratch if he intended to gain considerable strength through taijutsu, genjutsu, or ninjutsu. He was far too old for that, in his late thirties.

' _He's a puppet master.'_ Aiko slumped at the thought of dealing with another of those asshats. _'He's going to want to control more puppets. He'll want to get raw materials, more chakra, and refine his control.'_

There would be no point in building dozens of new puppets before he had the augmented ability to control them. They would just be luggage.

"Yamato, do you know of any items that augment chakra capacity?"

The team captain blinked, scrunching his face contemplatively. "Well, no. Other than a bijuu." He continued over Naruto's muttered, 'A bijuu isn't an item'. "But there a location in the northwest portion of Wind Country famous… Notorious, really," he corrected as an afterthought, "for its position over a subterranean vein of natural chakra."

"Natural chakra?" Naruto perked up, looking interested. "Like what toads use, and you turn to rocks if you do it wrong?"

Yamato gave him a mildly baffled look. "No idea what you're talking about, but yes. Natural chakra. In past years, there used to be a group of women who were capable of interacting with it safely. They used it to power a city on the location, and made it very wealthy." He shrugged. "Supposedly, it was a genetic inheritance, but that could have just been a ploy to keep power in their hands. It seems more likely that the ability was a result of specific training, but it's always possible that they were telling the truth."


	76. Chapter 76

Author's Note: yes, the time period for where I'm inserting this doesn't match up with the one clue we have about the present day time in the actual movie from Naruto's speech to Sara. I'm ignoring that. It's not that important of a detail. I figure if I can pick and choose which movies happened in the course of Vapors, I don't have to sweat about ensuring that they happen in the slightly incomprehensible timeline given. Call it even further AU, or just treat this as another mission, the basis of which came from a supplementary text. There are a fair few things in the movie that I don't think quite make sense, and I've reserved the liberty to add and remove elements that make it work more coherently for my purposes.

* * *

"If I were a third-rate puppet master, where would I be," Aiko mused, flicking through the personality profile she'd been given as part of her mission materials. Sasuke lifted his head to give her a doleful stare, then drooped again.

The boys were bored senseless by this sort of mental exercise, but she actually found it invigorating.

' _They'll just have to cope until they get a chance to smash Mukade's face in.'_

Her lips twitched. It probably wasn't fair to relegate them to the mindless muscle of the operation. Not having training in her specific niche of the shinobi arts didn't make either of them stupid, and tracking this way didn't appeal to everyone.

Almost any shinobi worth their salt could follow a trail once they'd been close to their target, through observation of the terrain. But the cold hard logic and mind games of attempting to access the mindset and goals of a stranger was something that didn't appeal to everyone.

Aiko loved it. It was like a puzzle, only she got to stomp in faces when she was inevitably right.

Mukade was a Chuunin from Sunagakure, one known more for his attempts at innovation than his power. He might have done better in another village, one that relied less heavily on very specific, almost ritualistic habits in order to maintain their bare existence. When all attention was turned to survival, it was hard to care about people with big dreams.

' _With ambitions like that, he's probably prideful.'_ Aiko blew out a puff of air, re-examining the attempted reforms he'd tried to push from a low level political position on Suna's council. _'Probably all burnt up on the inside that he never managed to get enough influence to push his agendas, and never had the sheer power to force the issue.'_

It was hard to see what of those two varying goals he would pursue, if it weren't for the fact that he appeared to be a total loner. Once ejected from Sunagakure, he had no chance of legitimately gaining power, and lacked the inclination to make friends/allies to help him in his goals without a guaranteed payoff.

He would go in search of physical power, likely in the form of some augmentation or tool that worked well with his areas of expertise. Mukade would have to start all over again from scratch if he intended to gain considerable strength through taijutsu, genjutsu, or ninjutsu.

' _He's a puppet master.'_ Aiko slumped at the thought of dealing with another of those asshats. _'He's going to want to control more puppets. He'll want to get raw materials, more chakra, and refine his control.'_

There would be no point in building dozens of new puppets before he had the augmented ability to control them. They would just be luggage. So…

"Yamato, do you know of any items that augment chakra capacity?"

The team captain blinked, scrunching his face contemplatively. "Well, no. Other than a bijuu." He continued over Naruto's muttered, 'A bijuu isn't an item'. "But there a location in the northwest portion of Wind Country famous… Notorious, really," he corrected as an afterthought, "for its position over a subterranean vein of natural chakra."

"Natural chakra?" Naruto perked up, looking interested. "Like what toads use, and you turn to rocks if you do it wrong?"

Yamato gave him a mildly baffled look. "No idea what you're talking about, but yes. Natural chakra. In past years, there used to be a group of women who were capable of interacting with it safely. They used it to power a city on the location, and made it very wealthy." He shrugged. "Supposedly, it was a genetic inheritance, but that could have just been a ploy to keep power in their hands. It seems more likely that the ability was a result of specific training, but it's always possible that they were telling the truth."

"They could have had a familial contract with some sort of sage," Naruto suggested, leaning forwards, blue eyes bright.

The other three exchanged glances.

"We appear to have run into a topic where you're the expert," Sasuke sighed, pushing himself up from his lounging position on one of the froofy chairs in the hotel room. "Translate your jargon."

"Nani?" Naruto cocked his head and blinked uncertainly at his dark-haired teammate.

' _Aww, otouto is so stinking cute.'_

"I think Sasuke is referring to the term 'sage' in this context, specifically," Yamato clarified with a faintly pleasant expression. "I think I can piece together what a familial contract could be." He waved a hand dismissively. "Something like a summoning contract, but it can't leave the line of the original recipient."

"Yeah, some summoning clans are picky about that," Naruto grumbled in a bitter way that implied there was a story. Then he shook his head and gave the others an impish grin, holding a hand up. "Alright then. A sage is someone who has mastered the usage of natural chakra, a process that involves gathering it and translating it into something that they can use. Natural chakra is technically unlimited as long as there are still living things generating it, like trees and stuff. It normally dissipates and gets reused by the living things in the area if it doesn't get used up by a sage."

"So…" Sasuke mused. "What would happen that would cause an excess of that type of chakra to get trapped underground? And what qualities might it possess?"

"I dunno." Naruto gave a carefree shrug.

Everyone else face-palmed.

"For a moment, you seemed like you really knew what you were talking about," Yamato sighed mournfully into his palm. The muffled quality of his words undermined the mild reproach they carried.

"Wait." At her interruption, Naruto bottled up whatever retort he'd been about to give Yamato (fairly, she might add. That had been rude.). "You said that misusing this natural chakra ends up, like, fossilizing you?" She felt her face turn green at his nod. "Who would be desperate and stupid enough to do such a thing? I mean, I understand why it would be possible for a group to maintain power if they had the ability to safely interact with that chakra. No one would want to overthrow them and try to figure out the problem for themselves unless they had everything they needed from the chakra veins. But barring that guarantee of safety…" She trailed off.

Naruto was the one to offer a suggestion. "A missing nin might be that desperate."

She cringed.

"So we're going to Rouran," Yamato concluded, getting to his feet. Then he made a face and shrugged one shoulder. "In the morning. There's no rush."

Sasuke's eye ticked. Aiko stifled a smile. They'd already spent two nights in this hotel, and he was ready to move on.

* * *

' _Mukade,'_ Aiko concluded with stern finality, ' _is an irritating little bug of a man.'_

They had been just about to give up their ambush in the ruins, when he had finally showed up. At first, they had turned to searching the old city for signs of his presence, thinking that he was hiding or had already left, but there had been no indication at all of humans in the near vicinity in the recent past.

Mitsuo gave an indignant whuff, as if to say "I told you so" to Sasuke, who had questioned his claim that there were no other humans nearby before. The Uchiha didn't dignify him with a response.

"Hush," she whispered, bending down to stroke Mitsuo's head and neck. "You've done well, I never doubted it."

Their prey was picking determinedly through the ruins in a way that implied he knew the layout well, only stopping to check landmarks a few times. That was mildly impressive. The city was large, complex, and disheveled. Fallen buildings seemed to throw his path off, so that probably meant he'd managed to find an old map to study instead of being familiar from past visits.

Sasuke broke off, taking a closer following distance with Yamato and Naruto. Aiko followed behind, curious as to what exactly their prey intended, but cognizant that her role in this mission was largely over.

Yamato must have been thinking something similar. Naruto was practically vibrating with eagerness for a fight, but their captain was restraining him to see what Mukade would do. If he had some enormous advantage or allies hidden around here, they should know before they made a move. It would only be if he made a move for the chakra well underground that they interfered.

She didn't even know how he planned to access that. He wasn't an earth type, nor was he immensely strong like Sasuke who could punch his way down to the ley lines beneath.

The sun was mercilessly glaring into the tops of her mostly bare shoulders, but she bore it patiently. She'd had a choice between long sleeves, pushing up the half-sleeves on this to cover her shoulders, or leaving the garment as it was meant to fit. It was far too warm for long sleeves and a closed neck, and her ANBU tattoo would be exposed if she tugged on the fabric. The top was a soft purple, in concession to the fact that the dark colors she normally favored in mission gear would just absorb the unblocked sun and make the experience even worse.

' _I really don't understand how the boys can dress like that in this weather.'_ Yamato was in the same gear he always was, Naruto in blue standard pants with an orange long-sleeved top, and Sasuke in all black. To add to the pain, they were all physically carrying their gear, despite the fact that Naruto at least could make his own storage seals.

Aiko cringed just thinking about it. Why were they all too proud to admit defeat to the weather and change their clothes?

' _Then again, we can't all be brave enough to pair shorts and boots,'_ she thought sarcastically with a fond grin for Ino, who had scolded her fiercely for the apparent faux-pas. Aiko almost enjoyed vexing her more fashionable friend about things like that, contrary as it was.

Boots were better than those dumbass blue sandals, in any case.

Mukade had led them to a strange open area inside a building that appeared to have been a rock garden at some point.

It wasn't until he crossed to a long, narrow pathway that Aiko got the sense that they had missed some critical information. The large sealing array splayed on the ground was a helpful clue.

Yamato broke out of cover, clearing his throat. "Mukade! We come on order of the Godaime Hokage to return you to Sunagakure for treason. Come quietly, and we will do you no harm."

What.

What.

What.

' _That's not what you do when you catch up to a missing ninja,'_ Aiko felt like crying out. ' _You attack from a stealthy position and either immobilize or eliminate them, according to your orders. You don't give them a gentleman-like chance to fight back. We're ninja, not Eagle Scouts.'_

Naruto and Sasuke flickered to Yamato's sides, looking dangerous. The older man turned to survey them all, eyes flickering to Aiko's position in a way that indicated he knew she was there despite hiding.

There was no point in hiding, so she stood to get a better view, arms crossed and expression tight. She wasn't getting involved in this fight unless the situation went downhill or Yamato assessed the situation as higher than previously thought.

It really shouldn't be an issue, though. He was just a Chuunin. With her hanging back, he'd probably assume she was the medic, though. Aiko repressed a scowl at the thought. Being support just wasn't her style.

"You fools are too late," Mukade jeered, startling her with his incongruously intimidating voice. He looked a bit like a low budget zombie, with his buggy eyes and protruding ribs, but he sounded like he should narrate car commercials. "I wondered when you would approach me. I even grew nervous that you would have the intelligence to keep me from this place."

' _Oh,_ _ **hell no.**_ _'_

They'd been wrong about how the chakra was accessed. He didn't have to go down. Aiko's eyes widened, and her hand went to her weapon's pouch before she realized that her teammates were much closer. She should trust them to take care of the situation. Surely they weren't so noble as to let him keep talking.

"But here I am!"

' _Come on, come on. Someone, make a move. What are you waiting for?'_

"And this power is mine."

"Someone kill him already!" she shouted, patience lost. Naruto jolted at her voice, taking off at a running leap an instant before Sasuke did. As if in slow motion, she saw Mukade take his eyes off them to make a move for the seal. Yamato began moving inwards.

Chakra sparked, and the Hiraishin kunai that she now just recognized holding the array in place was pulled up, even as Mukade let the seal trickle over his skin.

' _Not natural. Not natural.'_

That was a little like what she had been doing with benign seals borrowed from Naruto. Stealing them. Except… no. He wasn't maintaining it, Mukade was just breaking the seal. It wasn't like her technique at all, except in the appearance of the ink moving onto him giving the deceptive impression that he was stealing the seal for his own means.

Mukade looked up and gave them all one frightening, triumphant grin before he disappeared in an explosion of light that widened to a pillar. Naruto was a foot away from Mukade.

Aiko didn't think. Naruto's seal was singing to her. He needed her.

Her arms went around her brother and she grabbed a fistful of Sasuke's shirt, moving to ping back to the Hiraishin seal on Mitsuo's adorable little doggy vest—and she was caught, jolting in the same swirling visual that had swallowed up their prey whole.

"No!" Yamato shouted, clapping his hands and shooting forward a winding tendril of wood for them to grab onto.

She wanted to shout for him to back up, that she didn't think that he could tug them out, they were already caught and he would just end up taken too.

But she didn't have enough time to say anything, and she might have been selfish enough to still her tongue anyways. Naruto and Sasuke were caught with her. They needed to get out of whatever the hell this was.

* * *

"Oh, hell," Yamato muttered to himself in the torturously long moments between seeing three wide-eyed teens sucked into the light that had taken Mukade and being taken in himself. "If the Hokage doesn't kill me for this, Kakashi-senpai will."

He'd just misplaced all three of his charges. There was probably an intelligent, technical phrase that would sum up this tactical situation.

"Fuck."

Yes, that was it.

* * *

Mitsuo blinked stupidly at the empty area, his ears flopping as he swiveled to try to survey the situation. His eyes weren't nearly as good at his ears, but he'd never seen anything quite like that before and it didn't seem to have been error on his part. They were all simply gone.

He gave a confused whine and buried his nose in his paws. Not good.

* * *

"Where is Yamato?" Aiko muttered, fingers twitching compulsively for a weapon. This was not an optimal solution. She had thought that he would have ended up getting pulled in with them, but he wasn't here. Perhaps she had been mistaken.

' _Then again… Mukade definitely went in, and he's nowhere to be seen._ ' She shuddered. _'If this is what I think it is… the time that we touched the light or vacuum or whatever could be relevant to where we ended up.'_

She very determinedly didn't correct her wording, even internally. She didn't want to consider the answer that was begging for her attention.

' _Maybe I was wrong, and he didn't get pulled in with us,'_ she tried to convince herself. It wasn't working well. He was lost somewhere. Or he wasn't and they were the ones who were lost, but they were at least a group. Granted, he was quite capable, but he still shouldn't be alone. If they left and he showed up later, he would panic. Rightly so. But they couldn't sit here and hope that he would show up to take command, either.

' _God, this is a massive fuck up. Maybe my fuck up. If I hadn't pushed them to try to rush Mukade, we might have all just watched him disappear from a distance. He'd still be a problem, but he'd be someone else's problem. I have enough problems, between Danzo and having to play diplomat.'_

Aiko shook her head sharply. Recriminations and poor attitude would help nothing. They had to move forward.

"Well, this is a change," Sasuke summed up unnecessarily, working to wake Naruto up. He'd seemed to have had a reaction to whatever that portal had been, and have curled up on his side unconscious. The Uchiha jolted him with what looked like a little current of lightning.

Aiko would have cringed in sympathy if she wasn't too busy scanning their new location for threats.

That wasn't quite right, though. The location had changed… but it hadn't _changed_. They appeared to be in the same place, just a different and less crappy version of it.

Something in her brain whined, high pitched and unhappy and reminiscent of Mitsuo's keening complaints when she did something particularly loud or dangerous during training. If she had to put a description to it, Aiko would have said that there was a sense of something severely disturbed and frightened about it.

That brought to mind another thought: Was Mitsuo okay? Hopefully he was with Yamato. They could take care of each other. It was horrifically tempting to try to summon him anyway, but if they really were where she thought they were, that could go terribly wrong. Perhaps he just wouldn't come and it would be fine when she saw him later. But perhaps he'd be dragged back, or not make it all the way. There was just no way to tell, and inter-dimensional travel wasn't something to fuck around with when you didn't know what was going on. She had to wait and trust her other teammates could take care of themselves while she couldn't get to them, and just concentrate on the ones she was with.

"What… What happened?" Naruto's tone started out groggy, but as he sat up and took a look around, his eyes popped open and his voice became incredulous. "We were- but now we're-"

"That is an excellent question," Sasuke muttered, giving their surroundings a dark look. It appeared innocuous, but she would have preferred the rotten carcass to the shining whole version of this city.

They didn't appear to be making the connection. It was so horrible and so obvious to her that she had a hard time sympathizing with that.

"What," Aiko said flatly, "do you think might happen, when some jackass interferes with a substance known to fuck with the fabric of reality in a specific location by accelerating the passage of time in relation to the person who touched it, and _do you perhaps think_ that having the seal blocking that substance away held in place by a kunai with a seal that works by _altering a user's position in space and_ time could be a bad idea?"

By the end of that diatribe, her tone had wavered on the line between 'hysterical' and 'murderous' a little too much for her companions' comfort.

"Crazy shit could happen?" Naruto meekly posited.

His sister just nodded, working hard to control her breathing. "Crazy shit indeed. I think we can refine our hypothesis with the extra data that those crappy ass ruins are now a crappy ass city around us." Irritably, she gestured at the architecture that she might have appreciated under different circumstances and fisted a hand in her hair, inadvertently pulling out her ponytail.

"Sounds like solid reasoning."

No one seemed to want to follow up on Sasuke's slightly resentful comment. Perhaps they'd been hoping he would tell them they were being stupid and that something else had happened.

"We need to get out of here," Aiko breathed, eyes darting around the area and fingers compulsively reaching for the sole Hiraishin kunai on her leg, as if she could cut her way out of this problem. "We need to go to ground, get information, and reassess the situation."

"I disagree," Sasuke protested. "We're already here."

"Yeah, we need to find this Mukade guy. He was the one who brought us here. We'll stomp him until he agrees to fix this," Naruto added practically. "I don't know what he did, but he probably did."

"No." Aiko barked, giving a stern glare to the two. At the authoritarian tone, both boys jumped. She'd never talked to them like that before. "As the senior operative, I am taking field command, and we are getting the fuck out of here. We can't come into conflict with Mukade again without better information."

' _Finding Mukade would be a bad idea. He's already outmaneuvered us once, even if he didn't intend to bring us here with him. We need tactical intelligence. Ours was clearly bad.'_ She paused. _'Besides, if I see him, I'm going to kill him, in this mood. We can't afford to get drawn into a fight and risk eliminating our one chance to get home.'_

Sasuke was the one to look away first, signaling acquiescence. "Fine, then. It's on your head, captain." Naruto's stubbornness would require more persuasion, however. His chin was up and his eyes were narrowed at her in a familiar expression.

"If anyone feels like arguing with me, they will be leaving unconscious over my shoulder. I would prefer not to cart you out like babies, but I will if necessary, as well as file a report for in-field subordination."

Or threats. Threats would work. Even if she would have immense difficulty following through on that one in particular, seeing as how her companions were heavy and she wasn't particularly physically strong.

Back home, she would easily be able to follow through on that threat. That was another thing that made her incredibly nervous. Her carefully built network of planted seals, hidden on shinobi, in important locations in her home country, and even in several towns in Water Country was all useless and absent now.

Aiko fought the urge to hyperventilate. She had thought that she would never be stranded in hostile territory, since she had the ability to instantly carry herself and as many allies as she could grab to one of her seals.

' _Stay calm.'_ Mindlessly, she reached out and pulsed an explosive Hiraishin onto the column she'd woken next to so they could return if necessary, ignoring the questioning expressions when she didn't bother to hide the motion.

She still had one on Naruto and could reach him, but she couldn't risk being separated from Sasuke. Not when they were so far out of friendly territory and she was the only person who could look out for them. Sasuke was just a Chuunin, and Naruto a genin. They were puppies. She had to keep them safe and get them out. If she could find out when they were and reassess the situation, she could come up with a plan to get them into the village and get help.

The plan was optimistic. Maybe even naïve.

' _I have no idea when we are,'_ Aiko argued with herself. ' _And no idea when this city was lost. For all I know, we could only be a couple years in the past. Even if we're just toddlers, the Sandaime would recognize us.'_

Yeah, and maybe she was going to run into Joan of Arc on the way to Konoha and they'd have girl talk. There was no such luck for her.

"Sasuke, come here."

Her odd tone seemed to unnerve him, but he slunk forward, giving her an uneasy look. "Hai?" Then he jolted, when she reached out to brush her fingers over his left hand and plant a seal there on the back of his palm. "I'm tagging you," she said unnecessarily, beginning to walk. "We can't afford to be separated. Come on, boys."

"Don't you have to ask about a thing like that?" His voice was incredulous. She didn't bother to answer.

It was considered unethical to seal someone without their permission, yes. Aiko did not give a fuck right now.

They made it out of the city without incident and didn't stop running until they had passed two smaller towns. Aiko compulsively tagged the underside of the doorknob to the hotel lobby as she pulled it open and smoothly stepped inside. "One room, please."

The older man behind the counter gave the three of them – three disheveled teenagers—an appalled look as if he thought they were about to fall onto the floor in an orgy if he let them stay there.

A muscle in her jaw ticked, and she snatched a copy of the newspaper off the counter to check the date. "Now, please," she commanded in a tone that brooked no argument. She didn't have time to correct civilian misperceptions about what it meant for a team to room together. There was no room for girlish privacy with people you trusted with your life.

(Unless your prospective roommate was Jiraiya, was the unofficial corollary written into the official academy materials on the subject.)

She tagged the shower faucet when she stepped in just to be thorough, exchanging her outfit for a nearly identical set in light blue once clean. She didn't use nightclothes on missions. Made her too vulnerable.

Three location seals was a pitiful array, but it was the smallest number possible to allow her to triangulate to locations in between, and they were relatively close together, so they actually could be used for that purpose.

Still wasn't optimal.

For that reason, she left a seal on a tree as they continued their mad run to Fire Country the next day. The boys probably thought she was nuts for stopping to feel up a tree, but had the tact not to say anything.

When they reached the town they had stayed in the first night on their mission, she set them up in the same hotel (she already knew the layout and tactical values well) and settled down for a short break. They wouldn't actually be spending the night here, but they needed to rest and recover to a good condition before they ended up in what might well be hostile territory, despite being their hometown.

"So…. What's the plan?" Sasuke started awkwardly, looking down at the counter where he'd parked his bag. Aiko was well-packed for an extended mission since paper weighed nothing, but he and Naruto had both brought the minimum clothing considered necessary by teenage boys.

In other words, they were going to get rather rank soon if they didn't get home.

"We need to get to Konoha and talk to the Hokage," Naruto put out, not sounding certain himself. "That's the only person who has to help us."

Sasuke scoffed darkly. "Yes, if we can convince him that we're telling the truth. They're in a war here. They're bound to be more paranoid than usual, and this story is insane in the first place. We traveled back in time?" He shook his head wordlessly, jaw clenched tight.

"It's unbelievable," Naruto agreed quietly. "But we can tell the Hokage things to make him trust us. We do have a lot of future knowledge."

"If we do that, he won't know if we're telling the truth until he's lived those events, and none of us are history experts anyways," Aiko sighed, crossing her arms under a pillow and resting her left cheek on it. "Besides, we could change the course of history by doing that. Some theories of time travel state that we could undo our own existence and create a paradox. Or worse, we could end up in a future we don't recognize and can't function in. We may have to give vague information, but just hints, and nothing actually important."

The discussion continued in circles, but she drifted off in a short power nap. There was something that had to be done at twilight and darkness, and she needed to be able to focus when she did it.

When she awoke, it was to a feeling of clarity and determination. Sasuke had taken the other bed and Naruto was apparently on watch, playing tic-tac-toe against a clone. When she stood to gather her belongings, Sasuke gave a sleepy grunt and opened those reflective red eyes at her before he blinked and they went back to black.

"Oh, good. You're both awake. I want you two to take turns sharing guard watch until I get back," she commanded curtly, giving a perfunctory examination of her equipment to be sure that it was all in order. Kunai holster, hip pouch, senbon under her short gloves, short sword tightly secured around her back, and a thin blade down the backseam of her left boot… it all looked to be in good order. "Naruto, watch my bag, would you?" It would get in the way of her sword if she needed that in short order. She tossed the item onto the dresser before he even answered. It wasn't even important. It just had a couple notebooks in it, and no sensitive information.

"Wait—what? You're leaving us?"

"Why?" Sasuke asked crisply, sitting up so the sheets pooled around his waist and giving her an appraising look. The effect was lessened by his bedhead.

"My stealth is better than yours," she informed factually, "and my speed. Since we ended up at the beginning of the third shinobi war, the border to Fire Country is going to be very well guarded, and I don't want to risk you two. I will cross the border if I can, plant a seal, and return for you two. It shouldn't take me long. Get some rest until then, both of you. Any concerns?"

They exchanged uncertain looks. "I guess," Naruto breathed, biting his lip with two canines. "I don't like it, but I understand it." Sasuke just shrugged.

Patrol routes on the border absolutely had to have changed in the many years in between when she'd served and now, but the concept should be the same. Aiko crouched down a quarter mile from the border and took the time to put one of the seals that obscured chakra signatures on her left glove. She channeled chakra to enhance her hearing and sense of smell, and traced her way along the border to- "Bingo," she muttered, siphoning an obscene amount of water off the river that crossed at an angle into Fire Country. "It's time to make it rain."

Very seriously, she sank the liquid into the atmosphere and positioned it above the forest. Rain started trickling almost immediately, sinking into the ground and trees to provide her with crude radar. She pushed and powered, stealing more and more raw material, spreading her rain out miles further than she ever had before.

A part of her mind managed to note that her chakra control had improved considerably since the last time she had used this jutsu. But she didn't much care.

' _There's the outpost._ ' Aiko frowned in thought. That building had been destroyed and relocated at some point between the two timelines. Probably in the war to come.

Technically, her textbooks had claimed that the third secret war was going on now, but that was the power of retrospect. Right now, no such thing was acknowledged, though many people would be worried that was where events were heading.

They had no clearance or identification here, so the border patrol would rightly attack first and ask questions once the puppies were smoking corpses. She couldn't afford to take them into that kind of situation.

It took hours to get some sort of map of the layout of border outposts and the ways that the patrol routes traced around them. It was a bit of a gauntlet, but she thought she could trace a path around the hilariously soggy Konoha shinobi on border patrol. The area twenty miles or so into Fire Country would be nearly empty. She only had to get past that short trial.

Aiko let her rain slowly trickle off. It would be idiotic to draw attention to herself by ending it suddenly, or by attempting to keep it up as she ran so that it sputtered when she inevitably got distracted. Impatience killed far worse than curiosity.

Her ability to compose a mental map was exponentially better than it had once been, a fact she was grateful for as she kept track of the time she spent running and the approximate speed of the patrols. She had to alter her route multiple times. At one point, she had to hunker down in a treetop under the chameleon genjutsu to avoid some clever bastards who had changed up what had looked like a predictable patrol pattern.

On an impulsive thought, she tagged the tree trunk she was hidden against. If she got in trouble later, it might be nice not to have to go all the way back to the hotel to start over. It'd be like the worst video game level ever.

Despite her paranoia and worry, there seemed to be little cause for concern. Aiko made her way past the most dangerous area, and then another fifteen miles for good measure. That put her well in the middle of Fire Country. A half-day's running even at the boys' speed would get them to Tanzaku Gai. Just to be safe, she dotted a two mile area with tags, so that if she accidentally appeared in the middle of an escort group or something, she could re-orient and bring her group into Konoha safely anyways.

As much as she didn't like it, leaving them alone outside the village was much more dangerous than sneaking them in. Even if something went wrong, the Hokage refused to hear their case, and put them all in prison, she could break them out and flee for the hills.

It wasn't a pleasant possibility, but it was infinitely less terrifying than finding out that they were in trouble only when one of them thought to spark chakra against their seals.

Then she flicked back to the hotel room.

Naruto blinked guiltily up at her from his position sitting on Sasuke's back. The Uchiha's cheek was squished into the floor, one eye wide and resentful.

"I'm not asking," Aiko informed them matter-of-factly, flopping down onto the spare bed. She curled onto her side and pulled a pillow to her torso. "We have a way in. Who is on watch?"

* * *

Aiko determinedly ignored the incredulous glances she got from her companions as she searched around what must seem to be a perfectly ordinary stretch of clearing to them for the entrance to the tunnel Sai had led her through to get out of the village safely. "Mm, here," she grunted with satisfaction, tugging up the hidden trap door and sticking her foot right through the genjutsu of dirt with a slight grimace.

"Ugh!" Naruto exclaimed from somewhere above her.

Aiko tapped back up the ladder just enough to poke her head out, despite how grotesque it would look. "Come on, we need to hurry. This isn't a good place to linger."

"Why is this here?" Sasuke asked quietly as they stalked through the tunnels, giving appraising glances to various off-shoot routes that they weren't taking. "And why do you know about it?"

' _Because I'm a member of an illicit organization that works to subvert the Hokage you love so much, and this is one of the ways we get out of the village to perform illegal missions. At least we have the comforting knowledge that Danzo's operations are already alive and well by the presence of this tunnel system under the village to keep us warm at night.'_

"That's classified," she replied tonelessly, taking a sharp turn down a path that should lead them closer to the village center. If they came up in a training ground, they could easily blend in with crowds. Three teenagers with Konoha headbands would not seem at all out of place meandering away from that area. "Don't ever come here again, and do not mention the location."

Showing them this tunnel could get her killed, but it wasn't like she had another convenient way in the village.

It would be much harder to get an audience with the Hokage. Sneaking in would make it difficult to get the Sandaime to want to help them. He'd be more likely to start throwing paperweights. But there was no way they could legitimately gain entrance to the tower, as their credentials were certainly not valid at this point in time.

She settled for the unsatisfying but marginally least dangerous option of tucking her puppies away in a training ground (' _God, I hope Mitsuo is okay_ ,' she fretted) and going to the Hokage on her own. _'How much trouble could they really get into when I'm only a few minutes away?'_

Aiko cringed. She shouldn't jinx it, especially when her two subordinates were so visibly disgruntled about following her orders. At least they were still listening to her, for now. Naruto was used to taking guidance from her, and Sasuke had a better sense of respect for authority than he had before he'd been Tsunade's apprentice. At least, he did when that authority had a good point, she amended. If he thought she was being stupid, he would disobey in a heartbeat.

' _Now that I think about it, that's a very risky trait,'_ she mused, ducking into an office building that she knew from her time in ANBU as someone routinely assigned to protective detail. If nothing had changed… Yes, there was still a door that led to Hokage tower through an underground escape route. It was probably the one that she'd been taken through on the night she'd been born by Uchiha Mikoto.

Aiko stopped dead in her tracks, really realizing for the first time that Sasuke's family was alive now. Would he want to see them? Would… She swallowed, hard. Would Naruto want to see Minato and Kushina?

' _No point ruminating on stupid things like that now,_ ' she told herself. Right now there was a mission, unofficial and self-determined as it was. The pathway let out on the second level of the Hokage tower. For a while, she strode the halls as if she belonged there. The secretary downstairs was the major screening device, after all. Theoretically, anyone beyond that point belonged in the tower and had been vetted. The practice was still to assume that there would be intruders, but few people illegally intruding on the center of Konoha's military power would be ballsy enough to smile and nod at passersby. To further the impression that she was harmless, at one point Aiko actually hailed down an office worker to compliment on her dress and had a short conversation. Anyone watching would assume she was in no hurry.

She was and wasn't. Aiko didn't want to leave the boys alone long, but in theory there was no reason to worry about them. They were just in Konoha, and had real headbands. They were also familiar with the layout, which was important when one of the most suspicious tells for spies was that unfamiliarity. If she got the sense that they were in danger, she'd be out of this building before anyone else could blink, and to hell with the consequences and the terrifying thought that she'd have to figure this out on her own.

The only person she crept past was the civilian secretary who took appointments. If she was past that woman, the ANBU in the next room would think she belonged there.

' _Now that I think about it, it's positively ill-planned to have her alone. Isn't he worried? Does he trust his security that much?'_

Ah. The woman was at least a Chuunin, judging by her chakra core. Not helpless, then.

Pity, that she wasn't very observant. ' _To be fair,'_ Aiko told herself, _'I am using a genjutsu developed by Jiraiya, stealth training straight from ANBU boot camp, and a seal to obscure my chakra signature pilfered directly from the Hokage's office.'_

She opened the door with confidence (thanked her stars that the Sandaime was the only person inside. If he'd been in a meeting, her one chance would be lost. She could hardly wait around when she wasn't meant to be there) and stepped inside, giving him a pleasant smile as she closed the door behind her. "Good afternoon, Hokage-sama," Aiko greeted mildly.

The confused crinkle between his eyebrows faded into placid smoothness. "I don't believe I recognize you, my dear," he stated with deceptive kindness. She knew better than to believe it. The man in front of her was made with steel.

One of the few things she had admired about him without reservation was that he knew every single member of his forces by name and face. He knew damn well that he'd never given her a headband. "Oh, that's actually what I want to talk to you about," she said casually, communicating the same thing to him via the handsigns taught only to ANBU.

It wouldn't prove that she wasn't a spy, of course. If anything, he probably thought now that she was a very good spy. But it meant that she had his interest.

"Is that so." Sarutobi Hiruzen leaned back in his chair to appraise her, looking infinitely more dangerous than she ever recalled him being. Then again, this was years before she was even born, if not many.

It was still shocking to see color in his hair. It made him look much more like Asuma… though technically, the resemblance went the other way.

"Are you aware of anything unusual happening in Rouran?" she began casually, hoping to god that the answer was yes. If Mukade had really traveled to the past, he'd either arrived before or would arrive after them. Seeing as he'd gone into the strange disturbance first, she would have to bet that he'd already arrived. He had to have come here in order to do something. Hopefully he was stirring up trouble.

This strategy was a bit of a gamble, but it was better than saying 'I'm from the future'. She'd have to get to that part, but first she should establish some credibility without lying. He'd spot a lie. She was good, but not that good, and he was already suspicious of her.

His eyes narrowed in a way that implied there really was something happening in Rouran. "You are well informed."

"Yes and no," Aiko admitted honestly, pulling up a chair and sitting casually on the other side of his desk. It wasn't a good move to make in front of a random official. It was considered incredibly rude, actually. But Sarutobi had been amused enough by Naruto's antics that she rather thought he harbored a fondness for irreverent mischief makers.

Sure enough, a muscle twitched in the corner of his mouth. He didn't let it become a smile, but she was sure the gambit had paid off.

"I couldn't even being to guess at what odd things are happening in Rouran, but I would be willing to wager that they originate from one man, and that I know who he is." Aiko lazily indicated a height with her left hand, praying this would work. "He's about this tall, bug-eyed, and has brown hair and an incongruously low voice. Puppet user. Ring any bells?"

Hiruzen could have been made from stone. "And what, pray tell, do you think to tell me about the Minister?"

"Minister?" Aiko drew back, actually surprised. "That's what he's going by now? He's actually a missing-nin named Mukade. He has some sort of bloodline ability that lets him absorb seals and then dissolves them. He has an interest in the leylines beneath the city." She paused deliberately. "Forgive the digression, but are you aware of the properties of natural chakra? Specifically that misuse agitates the molecular structure of an individual who interacts with it and rapidly accelerates aging?" She shrugged and honestly amended, "Either that or it forces them through centuries of time in an instant, turning them to a fossil. I'm a little rusty on the theory."

At this point, he actually looks interested. "I haven't heard the phenomenon described with such specificity, to be honest. Are you a sage?"

"No, my brother has been learning from his summons," she answered honestly. "My interest is rather more personal. To the point, it has to do with what happens when an especially potent, aged source of natural chakra comes into contact with an idiot holding a seal that interferes with space-time interaction."

"I couldn't begin to imagine what would happen." The Hokage looked like he was hearing a particularly interesting bit of gossip. She liked him for it. They'd never actually had a remotely intelligent conversation, since he'd thought of her as a child.

"Yes, well, I wouldn't have until it happened either," she confided dryly. Abruptly, she switched tracks. "Sorry about sneaking in here, by the way." He gave a snort, as if to say that she didn't appear to be particularly sorry. "That tunnel between here and the building above T&I looks just the same twenty years from now," she shared with deliberate delicacy and an empathic hand movement.

At that, he froze. It was hard to tell if it was the casual release of information that wasn't even given to most ANBU, or that she'd claimed to be from the future.

"Although the genjutsu seal hiding the ANBU operative in that hidden room there is much, much better in the future. You should have Jiraiya take a look at it," Aiko recommended, enjoying his flustered look. Oh, he probably didn't believe her, but watching him try to figure out how she could have gotten her information was glorious too. "Or we could cut out the middleman and I'll just scribe you a copy, but that would sort of rob the original thinker of their achievement. Not very sporting."

The Hokage swallowed slowly. "I don't suppose you have corroborating information, or any proof? This is a large claim."

Aiko bit her lip thoughtfully. "Well, what would be convincing to you? Would you like to hear about what your students do? See some Konoha unique techniques? Or maybe talk to my team?"

"Team?" he said sharply. "How many shinobi did you ghost into my village, young lady?"

He was probably right to be concerned. Her sneaking into his office instead of turning herself in and asking for an audience had been a veiled threat and show of her abilities. It was infinitely more likely to end in getting a meeting with him than doing the legal thing, but he had to be bristling at the knowledge that she could have done serious damage before anyone knew she was in Konoha. Finding out that she wasn't alone would be an unpleasant surprise.

"It's just me and the two puppies," she confided easily, swinging her legs with faux casualness in an intentionally girly gesture. In all reality, her heart was pounding. "We got separated from our team leader when Mukade sucked up the seal. I didn't like the odds of pulling two silly boys through Hokage tower without getting stopped, so I tucked them away somewhere safe. Would you like me to go get them?"

"I don't think I have the time," the Sandaime muttered, rubbing at a tension headache in a move eerily reminiscent of Tsunade's own crippling migraines. That job must be terrible.

"It won't take long," she assured him. "Just a flash. But if you really insist… would you like to know how long it takes Tsunade-sama to return to the village?" Aiko actually felt a bit cruel at the hope she saw on his face. He was hoping for good news. "Eighteen years from now, and she takes an Uchiha apprentice within a month."

It clearly wasn't what he'd been hoping to hear, but it still put a reluctant smile onto his face. "She does, does she." Hiruzen didn't seem to entirely believe her, but at least he was enjoying the story.

"Mmmhmm," she acknowledged. "Uchiha Fugaku's younger boy, actually."

At that, the Hokage actually laughed. "Come now, that's ludicrous. He would never allow such a thing."

"He's long dead." That brought a bit of solemnity back. Undaunted, Aiko pressed forward. "As luck would have it, that boy is one of my puppies." She gave him a smile without teeth. "Would you like to see them now?"

"You want permission to bring two more possible hostiles into my office," the Sandaime summed up, as if he couldn't quite believe her gall. "And how, exactly, do you propose to get those 'puppies' of yours in past security?"

"Well, like this," Aiko said practically, tapping his desk. "Just a moment please."

' _Better to ask forgiveness than permission in this case. I need to shock-and-awe him, keep him off balanced so that he doesn't have time to lose interest, come to his senses, and have me taken to interrogations. If he hasn't had time to process and doesn't have rebuttals and arguments, then he's just listening to me.'_

But this was partially because she'd never had a chance to impress the man, and this would probably smack a few years right off his face in surprise.

She grinned at her own theatricality in the instant between when she appeared in the clearing and when she grabbed hold of Naruto, then Sasuke. "Heads up, gentlemen," she commanded briskly, using her toe to dig up a small rock, bounce it up off the top of her foot, and catch it with the hand laced through Naruto's arm. Might need it in a moment.

Naruto actually hit the floor on his knees when they reappeared in the Hokage's office with a groan. "Aiko-chan, that's just mean. Give a guy some warning?"

The Hokage stared, wide-eyed. She wasn't entirely certain if it was at their sudden appearance or Naruto in specific, but he did seem to be staring at the blonde with a pale face.

' _He does look unnervingly like Minato, if he'd had baby cheeks.'_

"Excuse me," Aiko said sweetly, leaning forward to pluck up her Hiraishin seal and remove it from his desk. His gaze followed it as it dissolved in a way that implied he could sense the energy with enough detail to nearly see it himself. "I don't mean to mark up your furniture, Hokage-sama."

Sasuke just rolled his eyes and stuck his hands in his pockets, giving the room as a whole a dismissive glance.

"I see," Hiruzen said a bit weakly. "That's- that's kind of you, I'm sure."

Naruto blinked, and then scrambled to his feet. Sasuke barely caught the back of his jacket when he moved to fling himself into a hug at the Sandaime. "Idiot, he doesn't know you," Sasuke sighed. "I apologize for his ineptitude, sir. He's never been house-trained."

The blonde stuck his tongue out at Sasuke.

"See what I mean," Aiko half-groaned, rubbing at her head. "Puppies." She ignored the reproachful glares in favor of the grudging amusement on the Sandaime's face. "In any case, Mukade was a failed lower level administrative official from Sunagakure. He never managed to gain any popularity or momentum, and was eventually listed as a missing nin when he ducked an assignment. As a good faith offer, we were part of a team meant to track and return him to Sunagakure. We found him in what had been Rouran."

' _Oops, did not intend to say that part.'_

He'd caught the slip, though, so she had to admit, "In our timeline, it was destroyed in the third secret war." The Hokage cringed. "In any case, though our travel was unintentional, his was certainly not. That was the basis of my assumption that he had been creating some sort of trouble. He wouldn't have done this without reason."

"Maybe he memorized the winning lotto numbers for the national prize and came back to get rich," Sasuke claimed, straight-faced.

Aiko reached out to cuff his ear. "Bad," she said firmly. "We're being serious now."

' _Very good, Sasuke-kun. Reinforce the Tsunade connection and keep him amused. We need him entertained enough to hear us out.'_

But she was playing the role of a mildly abrasive professional right now to counterbalance the boys' rather unthreatening demeanors. She had to scold him. He would have to be thanked later.

At that point, the Hokage actually laughed. "Well, that's a fantastic story, and you present some compelling evidence," he allowed. "But come now, you can't actually think I believe you with just that. It could be a trick. I find it infinitely more likely that I should go adjust my security."

"Fair enough," Aiko allowed. "What would convince you that we were trained in Konoha? Rasengan?" She jerked her head at Naruto. "Jiraiya's chameleon genjutsu? One of Tsunade's techniques? The Hiraishin, perhaps?" she added with a hint of sarcasm.

"Is that really what that was," he interrupted, looking fascinated again. "I didn't manage to get a good look at the seal, but I thought I saw a locking mechanism."

"I have several layers of precautions on them," Aiko deflected mildly. Now was not the time to mention the explosives. Leaving one on his desk was bound to stir up bad feelings, even though she'd already picked it up. "Naruto?"

"Er- right." Uncertainly, he crossed his hands into a cross, and formed a single Kage bunshin. "I can't do it with just the one hand," he explained with a little bit of embarrassment as the clone went to work. A few moments later, he held a perfectly swirling technique in his hand. The Hokage bristled, but he let it fade after a moment and cancelled the clone. "You want me to-?"

Aiko shook her head at the quizzical tone. She'd already demonstrated the chameleon genjutsu when sneaking in, and she'd prefer to have everyone underestimate her team as much as possible while still convincing them that they were too formidable to mess with. She needed to be the primary target to deflect any problems. "Sasuke, are you up for a demonstration?"

The boy gave a pointed look around with unmistakable sarcasm. "I don't see a patient to heal or an enemy to throw fifty feet."

She rolled her eyes fondly and extracted the rock she'd scooped up from the training ground out of her pocket, showed it to the Sandaime, and then tucked it into Sasuke's hand. "Crush this for me?" she asked mildly. Sasuke's skill set would be the one that was hardest to imagine being gained through less than legitimate means, seeing as it would require a long period of personal coaching. He had to be able to demonstrate his skills, and they couldn't tear up this office or ask to be allowed to treat his shinobi when they were not trusted.

The Uchiha gave her a resentful look at being asked to perform like a circus animal, but grudgingly made a quick fist and opened his hand to let sand trickle out into a little pile on the carpet.

"Oh, my…" Hiruzen leaned over his desk, giving Sasuke a sharp look. "I am impressed, young man."

' _Gotcha. Now I need to push him.'_

Aiko coughed lightly into her fist. "Well. What's the verdict, sir? Are you going to help us out, or am I grabbing my puppies and getting out of here?"

It wouldn't do to let him think even for an instant that he had power over them. It could encourage bad decisions.

"Well, when you put it like that…" the older man trailed off. "You sound remarkably like someone I know," he mumbled to himself. "Are you perchance related to the Nara?"

Aiko stared. "No. Not at all, to my knowledge."

"Huh." He gave a shrug. "I'm convinced. Either you're legitimate, I have gone completely senile, or I'm asleep and the sheep are about to come sailing in through that window. Either way, putting you in the company of one of my best teams will assure that you either get the help you need, or killed when you turn on us."

They stared.

"You must have strange dreams," Naruto ventured.

* * *

Either fate was unkind, or this was the Hokage's way of testing a hypothesis. It wasn't as if the resemblance between Naruto and the man leading what looked to be a three-man ANBU team was subtle.

She didn't know what to think, to be honest. Aiko had decided that it didn't particularly matter whether Minato was the hero Konoha thought he was, the perfect parent Naruto had dreamed of, or the dead beat dad she couldn't help but project over his image, knowing that he'd chosen to die with his wife when there had been other options. (Not great options admittedly, but a parent had an obligation to do all they could to survive to care for their children, didn't they?) When he was long dead, what was the point in wondering?

Yet here he was, not particularly dead at all. It was tempting to pry. It would be phenomenally stupid and dangerous to actually come out and share her identity, of course. He could have all the suspicions he liked, but as long as they weren't confirmed they were just ephemeral thought and hopefully wouldn't change things.

' _I don't know if I'm more frightened by the idea that he'll live up to the ideal and ruin my image of him or that he'll fail and I'll have been right.'_

At the casual claim that the three shinobi in front of them were from the future, the three men seemed much more interested in them. Sasuke averted his eyes uncomfortably, but Naruto stared at Minato with open curiosity. He seemed to be drinking his father's face in. Minato's observation was much more subtle, but still present.

Aiko jabbed her brother in the side with a finger and gave him a warning look. He pouted, but stopped the creepy staring.

She listened quietly for most of the debriefing, but had to speak up when Hiruzen delegated authority to Minato. "Hold up a moment," she interrupted, ignoring the scandalized expressions as she interrupted the Hokage. "I cannot agree to allow my team to fall under his jurisdiction. Our extenuating circumstances may necessitate autonomy."

"But, aren't you a little young…" Hiruzen trailed off.

"I've been a Jounin for a year and commanded multiple units," Aiko informed flatly. It was an exaggeration time-wise, but whatever. Saying that she'd been a Jounin for slightly closer to a year than to half a year would be petty and undermine her position. "I think that I can handle commanding the team that I regularly command."

Aburame Shibi cringed a little at the combative interchange. Wuss. He was a Hokage, not a God-King. If Kakashi could sass the infinitely more terrifying Tsunade, she could bring up a cogent point to the Professor.

Besides, she didn't want to be under Minato's command. Aiko didn't trust his judgment. He might be a genius among shinobi, but he appeared to have lost out on common sense.

'Don't put a bijuu in your baby' was hardly a truism, but that was probably because most people wouldn't think about it in the first fucking place. It had been the easiest solution, but Aiko categorically refused to accept that it had been the only solution. She didn't want to be under the command of someone who made the easiest decision out of sentimentality.

"Very well," the Sandaime conceded reluctantly, "though I do not think it will be an issue, I can see why you might fear that your unique situation might lead you to conflicts with orders. I can concede that you have field command of your team, but request that you defer to your senior's judgment when appropriate."

The concession wasn't much of a concession, except as a technicality. She was still expected to behave the same as before.

"Of course," Aiko agreed readily.

It had, however, been enough leniency that she technically was in the clear for in-field insubordination as long as she deemed it appropriate and the Sandaime didn't later refute her. Seeing as that would only be an issue if they failed and were stuck here, she didn't mind disobeying. He was a Hokage, sure, but he wasn't her Hokage.

Her companions probably knew what she was doing. Naruto was ridiculously tricky. Catching him in a verbal agreement was about like grabbing fish with your bare hands in the ocean. Sasuke, on the other hand, was simply very intelligent and would have considered many of the same possibilities that she had.

Aiko pieced through the report as the Hokage soothed a rather nervous Akimichi that even if the three teenagers were lying, they could be dealt with. It was probably a planned warning to let them know that betrayal would be met with lethal force. She could have been bitter, but was actually pleased by the practicality. It was what she would do.

Oddly enough, what had brought Rouran onto Konoha's map was disappearances. Those of children and missing ninja, mainly, though no one cared much about the fate of criminals.

Aiko was half-tempted to ask if they'd asked Danzo, but somehow refrained. First of all, she shouldn't alter the course of history intentionally, even if she rather suspected that it would be self-correcting. Secondly, he was too subtle for this. Danzo would recruit from orphanages, have his operatives start families, or use other means to build his army. Whoever this was varied quite a bit in methodology. Some of the disappearances were street children, some were from orphanages, and others were taken from their parents' houses.

To her, that said that although they were probably all being snatched up for one common purpose, it was through many different agents.

' _Possibly the missing nin_ ,' Aiko thought dully. ' _I was just thinking the other day that Mukade was an ambitious guy. If that ambition extends to conquer, especially of his hometown, he'll need trained shinobi forces as cannon fodder if nothing else. But he can't train them all himself, and hiring tutors legally would create a hell of a paper trail. He's weak in terms of combat, not an idiot.'_

Seeing as how those disappearances had started about six years ago, when the last Queen of Rouran died and her daughter's first advisor had shown up out of nowhere, it fit, and he could be well on his way to a small force. Except that still begged a crucial question…

Who the hell hired that guy? What happened to background checks? Even if it didn't seem suspiciously like the criminal ruling a small kingdom had murdered the competent queen in order to use her child as a figure head, it just didn't make sense to allow that job to go to a newcomer.

' _Then again, Roran isn't a shinobi country at all. He could have just killed anyone who protested.'_

Aiko suppressed a shiver, ignoring the sudden quizzical looks.

She was surrounded by superhumans on a daily basis. Sometimes it was easy to forget just how monstrous they must seem to ordinary people, and just how much evil one comparatively mundane Chuunin could do if unchecked. That was why they had a moral duty to keep their shinobi in line and check those that fled to become rogue ninja. If the hidden villages trained you to be a killer, they should work to ensure that you didn't snap and harm the ones you were meant to protect with those skills.

It wasn't as if she were particularly altruistic or idealistic. But some things were just wrong. One of those things was being irresponsible with the weapons that you created.

If her hypothesis (and that of the Hokage, by the way) was correct, the real power behind the throne in Rouran was working for some sinister purpose. More importantly for this mission, however, he had begun to impinge upon Fire Country's jurisdiction.

' _Probably ran out of orphans in the area.'_ She winced at how cold the thought was. But it made sense. Mukade must be a greedy man.

But he must also be dangerous. Far more dangerous than she had presumed. His apparent aversion to human contact had either been overstated or he'd wanted power badly enough to work past his distaste for other people.

"It is important that the princess not be harmed," Sarutobi stressed. Aiko rolled her eyes. Surely enough, at the word 'princess,' Naruto had perked right up.

"Because of her power as a figurehead?" she interjected wryly. Then she remembered that most commanders didn't allow you to sass them mid-brief.

He just nodded, however. "In large part, though I do suspect her abilities to interact safely with the leylines may be crucial to your interests."

Aiko stiffened and shut up. Good point. So far, they were working with the admittedly shaky premise that killing the man who had brought them to the past would send them home. She didn't like it much, but hardly had a better answer. She just couldn't shake the lingering theory that killing him might eliminate their only way of finding a path home.

Other than living here, that was. With a war brewing, she didn't like that option much.

"If I may, Hokage-sama, I would like to add one more member to our team." Minato stepped forward and set the folder he'd been cuddling on the desk and respectfully stepped backwards while the old man looked at it. "I know that he is young, but he's very capable."

Bored, Aiko turned back to the first page of her report to examine the depiction of 'Anroukuzan' again. It was unmistakably the same man they had been hunting, but he'd gotten very out of shape for a shinobi.

That meant one of two things. Either he was going to be little threat, or he was exponentially more dangerous than he had been in her present time. If he'd had the slightest fear that he might have to run for his life again, Mukade would have stayed in fighting condition.

As his files had indicated that the flaw that kept him from elite status was his markedly poor stamina and chakra regeneration, the years he had spent with access to a nearly unlimited source were not a good sign. They were probably going to run into a ridiculous amount of puppets. That did seem to be what puppet masters did when they became more dangerous.

Aiko sighed heavily, ignoring the curious look that garnered from Choza Akimichi. How droll. She had little fondness for puppets.

She didn't bother to share her conclusion. The Hokage already suspected that their target was a much larger threat than a rogue Chuunin at this point. He'd already been planning to send an ANBU team to investigate.

And the men in front of her definitely were an ANBU team. She knew the type, though they were a bit informal and relaxed. They probably represented a slightly different training and conditioning philosophy in the force than what she'd experienced, but like recognized like if it was looking for it. She had no idea if they recognized that quality in her. It was their loss if they didn't and no skin off her back.

Of course, speaking about 'recognizing', their last member was waiting at the gate. Apparently, Minato hadn't expected to be turned down in his request to include his apprentice.

"Maa, do we really have to take these guys?" The bratty little shit hooked his thumb irreverently at the three teenagers. "They look weak."

Another time, another day, Sasuke and Naruto would be bristling to pummel the living hell out of anyone who underestimated them like that. Especially an irritating ten year old. Today was not that day.

A strange, stifled laugh escaped Sasuke's lips. "Idiot, are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

"I dunno," Naruto managed in a stilted tone, repressing giggles himself. "Are you seeing a chibi version of Kakashi growling at us?" He knelt to poke at the boy's nose. "You're as pretty as a girl," he crooned mockingly.

Aiko swatted the back of both of their heads, privately amused by Kakashi's vaguely disturbed expression. "Behave." She gave them a stern look. "It would be below your relative maturity to bully him." Unstated but hopefully understood was, 'he's tiny and you could seriously hurt him'. It was true that he wasn't just any Chuunin… but nor were her boys, and this version of Kakashi seemed prone to underestimating others.

"I don't know about that," Sasuke mused thoughtfully. "I think it might actually be just retribution for all the flowerbeds he made us weed."

"And the cats we had to catch," Naruto added mournfully. "And doing grocery shopping for grumpy civilians. And that time he surprised us by having Gai show up to do our training."

Aiko goggled, distracted. "He did that?" she asked, mildly incredulous. "That's just… that's just mean." No one should be surprised by Gai. It was inhumane not to at least have time to steel oneself.

' _Hey, wait, I'm letting them distract me.'_

That was probably their sinister plot and she couldn't play into it. "It doesn't matter," she tacked on hastily. "be the bigger man, please."

"I take it you already know my apprentice," Minato managed to push out with a straight face.

All three teens looked at him. "You could say that," Naruto sighed, crossing his arms behind his head and looking upwards. "He is a little distinctive."

"No," Sasuke rebutted mockingly. "White hair, bad attitude, and a mask? That could be _anybody_."

"Oh, shut up," Kakashi snapped, the cheeks that showed above his mask tinged pink. He shoved past them to the front of the group. "Let's go already."

For all his big talk and poor attitude, Kakashi still had the short legs and restraints of a childish body. In the short term, he was faster than either Naruto or Sasuke. Long term, he was forced to slow, staggering slightly as his pride compelled him to keep running. Aiko found herself at the back of the group, mildly concerned that the pace was too much but preferring not to state that out loud.

The trip that her team had made in slightly under 48 hours was going to be a two and a half day journey with this group.

That was perfectly fine. Her team could use the recuperation time after their cross-continent sprint. Their timing had been serendipitous in that Hiruzen had already picked the team to go to Rouran when they had arrived in Konoha. If they'd been a little later, they would have missed them entirely.

(Aiko gave Naruto's back a suspicious glare, wondering if this whole ludicrous episode was his unearthly luck at play.)

They didn't even make it out of Fire Country that night, instead bunking in one of the outposts that Aiko had identified and slipped past on the way in to Konoha that morning. She deliberately didn't look at the guards or the clothesline full of sodden equipment. It would be in poor taste to start laughing.

Minato might have cottoned on to her thoughts, because he maneuvered himself to run beside her when they left in the morning. "So, tell me Aiko-san, how did your team get past all the border patrols?"

' _To be fair, it's reasonable to find that as a subject of concern,_ ' Aiko acknowledged. _'If I could do it, perhaps enemies could. The right three-man team is nothing to scoff at behind your lines.'_

"I'm just that good," she replied shortly. Fair or not, she didn't want to go into her methodology. It would be pointless. "It's less a problem with the patrols and more a result of the unpredictable factor of my familiarity. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you."

' _That outpost is going to be lost within a year or two anyways. Everyone there will probably die.'_

Having future knowledge was a bit of a mood-killer.

"Ah, spent plenty of time on border duty?" he prodded. The tone was light and eerily reminiscent of Naruto's, but she knew better. He might not just be making conversation. Honestly, the man probably didn't trust her. She was obviously more removed than her companions. Naruto was an open book, and Sasuke wasn't particularly uncomfortable around their companions. That left her as the largest unknown to assess.

"Not long," Aiko replied honestly.

' _I served on Sand's border with your apprentice and teams from Mist in order to fight the forces founded by Orochimaru (who is still loyal to Konoha at this point in time) and later stolen to fight for who I suspect was either your Uchiha student (who you may or may not have met yet) after having been driven mad or a geriatric ancestor wearing his body like a particularly tacky coat.'_

"You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you about it," she settled.

"I suppose I shouldn't know too much about the future," Minato agreed easily. "It'd take all the fun out of life to know what's going to happen."

"Unlikely," she replied dourly. "Either time is self-correcting and the circumstances I relate will still occur in different ways, or my presence will change things enough that my information is useless. Either way, fun hardly enters the equation." At the disquieted look he gave her, she blinked. "What?" Aiko asked a little defensively.

He gave a little laugh, ruffling his hair. "Oh, it's nothing. You just sound a little like my student, especially the bit about fun. You don't like to banter much, do you?"

That misinterpretation of her current mood and discomfort around him as representative of her personality actually made her laugh.

"Okay," Minato mumbled uncertainly. "Perhaps not."

* * *

Interlude perspective: Aburame Shibi

Choza was in his element. He was an exemplary operative of the ANBU, but his personal preference was for socialization.

Shibi was not like that at all. He was not discomforted by the level of noise and occasionally conflicting personalities, but it made him feel tired. And so while his teammate was beguiling the group of teenagers with embarrassing stories about his genin team while they took a rest break, Shibi took a quiet walk into the forest to refresh himself.

He was not alone.

"Minato-san." He civilly acknowledged. His captain truly was an excellent fit for his summon animal. Minato-san was comfortable wherever he was, dry or wet, alone or with loud fellows. He was also a predator.

Neither Shibi nor his kikai insects were bothered by the man. They were predators as well.

"They're an interesting group," Minato offered with no introduction.

Behind his mask, Shibi blinked slowly. Ah. So this was to be an intellectual exchange. His captain sought his observations to compare with his own collected data. Acceptable. "Yes," he agreed. "Quite disparate."

"Do any of them worry you?" Minato pushed, sounding as if he genuinely was invested in the answer. Perhaps he was worried about one of their companions, or thought that he should be.

"No," he admitted with frank honesty. "Naruto is genuine. I have doubt that chicanery is in his reach. The other boy would concern me more, were it not apparent that he is deferring to the girl's judgment. Sasuke seems a person who would play games of the mind, but such a person is unlikely to allow himself to be subordinated in a trick of his own making."

"And Aiko?" Minato pushed, when it seemed that Shibi was done.

He turned his head to look at the older man, a bit taken aback that he'd pushed. "What of her? She is no cause for concern."

"I don't know that I like the way she looks at Kakashi and I," his captain admitted, pushing a hand through his hair. Shibi pressed his lips together thinly in disapproval. The habit was unbefitting a professional. "It isn't the same look by any means, but I don't like either of them."

"One is explained by the other," Shibi posited. "I do not believe she poses a threat. Her main concern is the preservation of her colleagues. She does seem alert and wary around you, but the expression she directs at your apprentice is disquiet. She knows him in the future, and finds reconciling the child she sees with the man she knows difficult."

Minato shook his head, bewildered. "But everyone's a child at one point. That's hardly surprising," he muttered, half to himself. "Why would she be particularly disturbed to see him as a child?"

And Shibi saw an opportunity for mischief. Certainly, Minato was not the individual who had committed the displeasing act hengeing into his body and made sure he was seen purchasing elicit materials, but taking revenge directly on his old classmate would be too troublesome. If all worked out, Kushina-san would be the one troubled by this. He swallowed the words, 'perhaps he undergoes great personal growth making his present personality difficult to reconcile, or perhaps they are close comrades,' and lowered his voice ever so slightly to give a short reply, laden with meaning. "Why, indeed," Shibi practically purred before turning away, grateful that that mask held the slight hint of amusement that he never could entirely keep off his face. Perhaps Kakashi-chan had stumbled onto a reasonable solution by covering his face, but the mask was simply an intolerable option. There must be a more reasonable compromise option.

' _Perhaps a high collar,'_ he mused to himself, completely forgetting his captain who was standing stock-still behind him until Minato managed to squeak-

"You mean?"

Shibi had quite forgotten what they were talking about. "Most certainly,'" he agreed neutrally.

Minato made a sound rather like a cat being slowly strangled. "But- I thought they were from sixteen to twenty years in the future, using the hypothesis that Naruto is my future child," he pushed out a little frantically. "From her behavior I would assess that Aiko is slightly older than Naruto, perhaps a few years, but that would still make her several years younger than Kashi-kun." Horror stole across his face, but Shibi wasn't paying any attention. "My cute little baby apprentice is going to end up a gigantic pervert," he wailed under his breath, falling to his knees in a melodramatic display Kushina would have pushed him over for. "The curse! Jiraiya's claim that perversion was transmittable from sensei to student—it just skipped a generation!"

Jiraiya had a taste for younger women too. Sure, it was legal for him to carouse with sixteen year olds, but hell if it didn't give Minato the _creeps_ to see his teacher flirt with girls who were younger than Minato himself.

' _Jiraiya, that bastard. He's going to be so smug.'_ Miserably, Minato shuffled his way back to camp, and gave Kashi-kun a probing stare. No. He just couldn't see it. The tufty hair, the up-turned nose, the adorable little pout…

' _I should make sure. She could be older than she looks. If she's eighteen, it's ok.'_

Subtly, he made his way to Aiko's side, and considered a nonchalant way to open this conversation. "How old are you?" He wasn't very good at nonchalant. Minato was a very intense individual when he was personally invested in something.

"Fifteen," she replied absently, reading through some sort of hand written report and taking comments in a lined notebook.

' _That's about as old as I had gauged Naruto. Does that mean he's even younger, or just that she's bossy? I guess I could believe he's fourteen, and judging by what Sasuke said at the gates, they weren't teammates. It could just barely fit that she got assigned to be his captain when he became a Chuunin.'_

"Ah," he managed to nod. Then he pinned Kakashi with an unusually stern look, attempting to communicate to the future pervert he'd unknowingly corrupted to wait until his girlfriends were seventeen or eighteen, always. The boy just looked confused.

* * *

After the awkward conversation on the first morning while they left the outpost (and his later bizarre decision to ask her a single banal question and then spend all night shooting meaningful glances at an increasingly unnerved Kakashi), Aiko steered clear of her father. He made her very nervous. Most people that made her nervous could either be avoided or fought. Obviously, neither of those was an option.

The second night they camped in the open in Wind Country (apparently, Minato was too cheap for a hotel). It was a bit of a dangerous proposition, seeing as they weren't on particularly friendly terms, but there was little choice.

Of course, the solemn alert that they should have been maintaining was completely thrown out the window when Kakashi managed to provoke Naruto into a spar. Or perhaps it was the other way around. Aiko dropped her head into her hands and groaned. "Naruto, be careful," she warned in an undertone, ignoring Kakashi's superior look. "Don't forget that he's not Kakashi-sensei. He's something like nine or ten years old. No matter how fast and skilled he is, he's very delicate compared to you, and he's not the man he'll be twenty years from now."

Too late she remembered Kakashi's inhuman hearing, but then again, he'd probably already figured out the relationship between the boys and himself from other clues.

She was certain that he'd puzzled it out after Naruto finally beat him in a solely taijutsu match up. The blonde was busy crowing about beating the other boy (never mind that he had about five years on him), and Kakashi came back with the rejoinder that any competence Naruto happened to possess could only be due to an amazing instructor who could cope with his ineptitude.

"He's a charmer," Sasuke muttered under his breath, sitting cross-legged next to her at the fire. Aiko snorted.

"That's exactly how I would describe that exchange, yes." She shook her head. _'Kakashi has a lot of growing up to do. He's hardly even the same person. Honestly, he seems a bit mean-spirited at this point.'_

But she'd already known that he had changed considerably between this time and the future, so Aiko wasn't that bothered. It didn't matter. He was a good man, even if he'd been an annoying child. It was still disconcerting to look at the childish version of someone she thought of as masculine and handsome, though. He was a cute kid, but those were two very different impressions.

"Good job boys," Minato praised, amusement flickering in his eyes. "I'm impressed by both of you. How about you come and eat dinner now?" Choza nudged Shibi in some sort of silent joke that she'd missed, probably at Minato's expense.

The nearly worshipful look that Kakashi gave him was neatly mirrored by Naruto's expression. Feeling a bit ill at the poorly hidden adoration, Aiko turned her face away. Naruto was so desperate for parental affection that it was a bit sad. In a strange, contrary way, she was jealous. She was the one who'd raised Naruto. Minato seemed to be a decent man and she'd concede that he probably would have done a good job as a dad, but as things had worked out, he was just their genetic donor. It just seemed so unfair that Naruto would hang on his every word.

"Hey, Minato-san…" Naruto flopped down and scooted closer to the man. Kakashi narrowed his eyes and sat with deliberate dignity… but at about the same distance to Minato.

"Hai, Naruto-kun?"

"Have you ever met a princess before?" Naruto practically exploded, bouncing with repressed energy. "Because I totally have, when I was traveling around with the per- I mean, with my shishou." He wrinkled his nose, as if referring to Jiraiya so respectfully rankled (even if it was being used as an alias of sorts). "She was running away from home with her samurai bodyguard, only he was a she and-"

Aiko tuned out the babble with a distracted smile, enjoying the sound of his voice. Even if he wasn't talking to her, it was nice to hear him go on. She'd heard this story before anyways.

She wasn't as convinced about the 'princess' credentials of his heroine as Naruto himself was, but then again there were technically hundreds of women who could claim that title in the Elemental nations on different criteria. Relation to Daimyo or other major lords, having descended from an old and displaced power that still had a prideful history but no material goods of kingdom attached... some people even counted a Kage's children and spouses as a sort of royalty. It was a matter of perspective, really.

If Naruto wanted to think he'd met a real princess, it was fine by her. He'd always loved those sorts of stories.

' _Of course, he's definitely going to want to help this girl,'_ Aiko sighed. ' _Sara, or something.'_

Minato's team would be creeping around doing reconnaissance and trying to piece together if Mukade really was attempting to build some sort of personal army (in what had to be the _millionth_ 'take over the world' gambit this year, she thought grouchily). From what she understood, Kakashi was meant to be observing and pitching in if he was needed or the combat was non-threatening enough for Minato to risk him.

Aiko approved. It was a nice, reduced danger way of acclimating him to higher level missions. That was what should happen _… 'Not stupid C class missions inexplicably dotted with A class criminals and also a civilian crime lord,_ ' she huffed. The ninja world was an illogical place at times.

"And then the perv- I mean, my shishou, he went down to the docks and I was so glad I could walk on water because we were all fighting in between the boats and man, it was just the best thing ever! I made friends with the pirate leader after that because he wasn't so bad in the end and his favorite color is green and sometimes he says-"

' _He is really excited to talk to that man._ ' She rolled her eyes, slightly exasperated but also guilty that he'd never had a chance to brag about his exploits to a parent. Iruka tried, but he was more of a fond uncle or distant older brother than anything. That scoundrel Jiraiya was the closest thing he had to a parental figure… She liked the man quite a bit, but poor otouto. Aiko unconsciously tugged the end of her ponytail over her shoulder and began playing with it while she listened to the blondes talking, leaving tight little braids dotted through the mess.

If Minato hadn't figured out what was going on, then he wasn't worth half his reputation.

' _I need to stop being so possessive and controlling.'_ She licked her dry lips. ' _The boys are putting up with it for now, but eventually they'll lose their temper.'_

It was hard to say that she would back up and give them space, and even harder to accomplish when it felt like something awful was going to happen at any point in time and she was the only one she trusted to keep Naruto and Sasuke safe. The other team was all well and good, but when it came down to brass tacks, they would look out for themselves and not the strangers from a theoretical future. She had left Konoha with those two, and she was going to bring them back.

"Are you going to stop scowling at any point in time?"

Aiko jumped a little at the gentle tone and the person who settled near her. For such a big man, Akimichi Choza was a sneaky bastard. She grimaced, internally scolding herself for falling into preconceptions of what extra heft meant for stealth and grace. For a normal person, she would be right. But Akimichi were shinobi stock through and through, big because it aided their jutsu, not because of exceptional appetite or dislike of physical activity.

"My apologies, Akimichi-san."

At that, he frowned. "Don't know why you're apologizing to me. I'm not offended, and I didn't get the impression that you were a cringing toadie." Choza gave a whooshing sigh, cracking his neck. "and when you call me Akimichi-san, I cringe and look around for my mean old aunt who carries a stick for hitting me when I crack my knuckles or breathe too loudly. Choza is fine."

She gave a startled laugh at the thought of the behemoth next to her hiding from some old lady. "I don't know, that seems a bit rude" she teased dryly, examining her nails for dirt.

"Says the woman who hasn't given any of us her last name, forcing us to either allow you to utilize familiarity or be rude," he rejoined good-naturedly. "Are you really so sure it would rupture the course of time to allow me to refer to a lady properly?"

"Pretty sure," Aiko said gravely, nodding seriously.

Close enough. It would probably rock Minato's pointy head off his shoulders, if that counted. He hadn't seemed to make the connection that Aiko and Naruto were related. To be fair, the resemblance was slight, and the differences were further exacerbated by their differing physical tells and attitudes.

"Then I insist you refer to me as 'Choza-san', him as 'Shibi-san', and him as 'the kitchen bandit,'" Choza concluded gallantly.

A few feet away, Minato seemed to choke on air.

"That pretty redhead he's always lurking about has informed me that there's a name change," Choza soldiered on over Aiko's snickers and Sasuke's appalled stare at a national hero and living legend. "Due to the fact that she keeps waking up to find him ass-deep in her dessert cupboard." He grinned and clapped his hands, just as Minato began to sputter something defensive about the bakery near her house. "But who wants to talk about such a boring old man, hmm? How do you like Rouran?"

* * *

Omake

_'Still not here.'_

Sai frowned mildly at her still deserted apartment.

 _'This makes little sense.'_ He reluctantly left, and made a thoroughly unsubtle tour of the usual training grounds that Washbo- Aiko and the rest of Team Kakashi frequented. ' _Is she avoiding me? Would she really have left the village without informing me?'_

Shizune cringed, both at her mentor's cackles and the thoroughly depressing image she was watching on a device inherited from the third Hokage that she had only recently figured out how to work. "It's... it's the saddest thing I've ever seen," Tsunade practically howled, tears streaming down her face while Danzo's pet operative sadly settled down to wait on Aiko's doorstep like an abandoned puppy.

"Tsunade-sama, that's not funny," she scolded disapprovingly, hands on her hips. "Have someone tell the poor boy so he stops lurking."

 _'Though Aiko really should have remembered to tell one of her friends, so he had a way to find out she was going to be gone,_ ' Shizune thought disapprovingly.

The boy in the crystal ball turned in a small circle and sat on Aiko's doorstep.

A snort escaped without her consent. "I'll take care of it," she managed, trying not to let Tsunade see that she was struggling not to smile. Poor thing.

* * *

That was meant to be funny, but now I'm not even sure if it is depressing or what. Am in a depressed mood. My sister's declawed cat actually climbed into the tank and murdered my fish. Perhaps I am melancholy.

* * *

Got long enough that I had to break it up into at least two sections.

Review, damn you!

:D Joking, but not entirely. This has been such a pain to get out that it's not even funny. I have the bulk of the rest written, but I've resorted to skipping around and writing scenes out of order to get past writer's block, which I normally do not do.


	77. Chapter 77

He hadn't been on watch since there were so many people to share it, so Kakashi was the first one awake and ready to start in the morning that they would reach Rouran and the real mission could begin.

Kakashi didn't like any of these interlopers. This mission should just have been him with Sensei's team. They didn't belong here, and he didn't trust them. The Sandaime had apparently believed that they came from the future, but he was less certain.

He hadn't managed to decide if it would be worse to find out that they were spies or that they were telling the truth. He didn't… he didn't want to know what was going to happen. The older boys didn't seem to have any compunction about giving hints. He disliked them for that. He didn't want to know. The thought that his life was already predetermined was terrifying.

If they were honest and sane, then he was going to get saddled with that blonde moron as a student. It was an unappealing prospect. His other supposed student, the Uchiha, was surprisingly okay for a cat person, and markedly more intelligent than Obito. He'd grant that.

Though his stupid eleven year old teammate was far more irritating than this 'Sasuke', Obito was probably a good match for Naruto. Ugh, _Naruto_.

' _He just really gets on my nerves._ ' Kakashi clenched his jaw, totally unaware that the expression was an adorable pout on his 9-year old features and Minato-sensei was a champion of distinguishing facial movements through his mask. His teacher coughed to hide a giggle, but Kakashi was too busy moping to catch it.

Naruto thought he was so tough. And he was annoying, too, always grinning and looking at Minato-sensei. It was weird.

Sensei was too nice to say anything, but he could tell that it unnerved him. Sensei seemed strangely fond of and interested in the idiot, though, for some bizarre reason.

' _I don't know why. I don't think he's even a real shinobi.'_ Kakashi took an extra large stride, working twice as hard as everyone else to keep up. ' _The Uchiha might not be either. I've never seen him do anything impressive.'_

The last one seemed to be the team-leader. That wasn't necessarily prestigious, considering her company. At least she wasn't simpering all the time like Rin, and she didn't seem interested in lording her knowledge of the future over him. He much preferred 'taciturn' to 'chatty'. Bossy, though, and he didn't like the way she looked at any of them.

Sometimes it seemed like she was going to bare her teeth at Minato-sensei if he got too close to her teammates. Funny that she was so protective when she was seemed to be the weakest one there. What little he'd pieced together of the failed mission that brought them here indicated that she was some sort of support type and had been lurking back.

Kakashi scoffed, pushing his lower lip out for a moment before he caught himself and tried to still his face. It was hard, damnit, but he was a real shinobi and they didn't have emotions or weaknesses.

He had finally been trusted with a real mission for once instead of stupid escort missions or watching big dumb Obito fail mundane D class tasks. Sensei had chosen him to accompany his own team. No one was going to mess that up for him.

* * *

They entered the city of towers in the cover of darkness, vaulting completely over their precious wall and traveling in a line like ants, one leaping from the wall to a tower with an open window in a room that Shibi's insects had made sure was clear as soon as the person in front was safely inside. The home owners who had left their entrance open lay sleeping, unwitting and restlessly, on the other side of one of the walls.

"We'll set up a base in an empty apartment in this complex," Minato whispered to everyone but Shibi whose plan it was. "There are an unusual amount of unoccupied homes."

' _That's probably a clue that something is wrong.'_

Despite the unnerving sense that the city was too quiet even for an area at sleep, Aiko didn't breathe anything about her bad feeling. Her intuition was nothing to write home about, so she'd wait until she had concrete evidence and something more than 'where are the criminals, dissident teens, and streetwalkers who should be out at this time of night?'

Perhaps Rouran really was so regulated and clockwork-clean that they didn't have any of those social ills. The thought made her shudder. It would have to be a totalitarian nightmare for there to be _no one_ willing to risk the nightlife.

"Alright team, gather round," Minato began with a silent (and therefore pointless) handclap to gather them together and unnecessary bubbly attitude. Obediently, they formed a seated circle of sorts. "For now, we need to gather information. My team's primary goal will still be to investigate any hints that indicate the human trafficking originates here. You three will be locating and shadowing princess Sara in order to ascertain whether she is willingly complicit in what this 'Anroukuzan' or 'Mukade' is planning. Any questions so far?"

There was apparently a question, but it wasn't directed at Minato.

"Did you say that this Anroukuzan would recognize you?" Shibi asked.

Aiko sucked in a breath through her teeth. That was a harder question than it sounded. "Maybe?" she admitted uncertainly. "For him, it's been six years. If he does, he'd probably recognize just the boys. I don't think he had a good look at me."

"Then perhaps it would be unwise for you to accompany them to shadow this princess," Choza pointed out, crossing his arms across his broad chest. He looked surprisingly like a lucky cat with his eyes squeezed shut like that. "If he sees them, Anroukuzan will know that he brought back the two closest to him when he traveled here. If he sees someone he doesn't recognize…"

Choza trailed off meaningfully, but Minato cut in. "Yes, I see. He would suspect that there were further intruders, and the rest of us are likely to be discovered before we want to be. Our mission is better accomplished if no one knows of our presence until the appropriate moment."

She stared at them, aghast. It turned to sullenness quickly. "You don't think I can hide from a puffed-up Chuunin when it counts?" Aiko asked disbelievingly. None of them looked ashamed. Kakashi even looked a little amused.

' _Don't they know I snuck into the Hokage's office? That's not something an amateur- oh. No, he wouldn't have shared that information. Still.'_

She actually felt a bit angry. _The hell_ was that about? Had she been imagining a hint of disdain earlier the other day when Naruto had clarified that she had been removed from the initial fight? Was this because they thought she was a support type?

It wasn't the first time that she'd encountered casual prejudice against ninja like medics and infiltration specialists—those who weren't pure combat specialists. But it was the first time it'd been directed at her, even if it was in a mildly patronizing, protective way. Like the stupid little girl needed to be kept out of a risky operation or risk ruining it.

"Of course," she snipped after a long moment, giving the three older men a nasty look. ' _You simpering troglodytes.'_ In unison, Minato and Choza recoiled. "You're right. My delicate constitution isn't suited for the dangerous task of following around a spoiled teenage girl without getting seen by her fat old advisor."

' _What the hell just happened,'_ thought Minato, who had thought he was being perfectly reasonable.

Choza cringed back a little at the unexpected temper, attempting to exchange a desperate plea for help with his eyes while his submissive body language warded off further hostility, but Shibi was impassive and her teammates just stifled snickers.

"In any case," Minato burbled, eager to get back to a conversation he understood, "Shibi has a point. Aiko-san, I think that you should work with Kakashi."

All the unkind amusement fled the boy's face.

"You can watch each others' backs," he gently added, raising an eyebrow at his student as if to ward off protests. "I was going to allow you to do unassisted recon, but I'd feel better knowing a Jounin has your back," he tried for a little flattery of both of in one go to assuage their egos. The attempt failed to affect Aiko's ill mood and made Kakashi's obviously worse.

' _I give up. I can't make them all happy.'_

"If you're worried about your team, don't be," Minato said with a tone that brooked no argument. He seamlessly untucked a Hiraishin kunai from his thigh pouch and reverently held it out for Naruto to grasp. The boy reflexively took it with a strange expression on his face. "I will be watching out for them, and if anything goes wrong they can call me instantly."

For some strange reason, Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a supremely amused look.

' _Supreme,'_ Minato mused, suddenly distracted. ' _What an excellent word. Supreme. I like it.'_

He never did get around to questioning Aiko's dry response about how that made her feel exponentially better or her teammates' odd response.

"A Hiraishin you say," Sasuke exclaimed in an unusually positive tone. "How novel. We will treasure it always."

"Yes, well." Minato coughed a little, uncomfortable with the awe. Unfortunately, his next topic might not deflect it. "If your report was accurate, then there was some sort of seal covering the chakra well? We would probably need the princess's help to replicate the feat, but it would help if any of you could describe it."

' _Was it put there by me? If I had to seal a large amount of nature chakra in a rush, what would I use?'_ Worry struggled with intellectual curiosity. ' _Obviously, if removing it had the effect of transporting those who came in contact with it to their timeline's past, then I could have done a better job. But is it now crucial that I create the same seal so that they end up traveling back in time? Will it just be sitting there waiting for another disaster like this? It could be so much worse, if someone like Mukade were to try such a thing again. Would it be possible to have the seal altered after those three are safely home?'_

"Unfortunately, I didn't get a very good look."

Mildly surprised that the sulky girl had spoken up again, Minato blinked and looked over at her.

"Whatever you used, you must have thought that it could be destabilized from the undulations of the chakra beneath, because you bothered to physically pin it in place with a Hiraishin kunai." Her eyes were distant, almost glazed with thought, but her face was perfectly smooth and unemotional.

The effect was a little creepy, to be honest. Aiko could have been in a trance or séance. Didn't people normally do something with their face when they thought hard? Like squint or frown or something?

"There must be far too much chakra for it to be contained in a normal storage type array, so you substituted a stabilizing agent that occupied a similar frequency to persuade it to straddle the line between the physical and the metaphysical, probably as you physically stilled the energy supply—or Sara did, I suppose—and prevented it from growing or moving. Really, you put it to sleep more than anything, but your other option would have been to steadily siphon it off, and that would have had a transformative effect on the environs that I definitely did not observe." She frowned. "Then again-"

"You're a seal user, I take it?" Minato interjected, for once regarding her with interest. When she remembered her audience, Aiko looked mildly embarrassed.

"I dabble," she deflected.

' _That is not dabbling. Is she modest, or is she uncomfortable discussing the extent of her abilities?'_

Either way, he was content to let it rest. Naruto wasn't.

The boy let out a rude snort and kicked his feet up to rest on Sasuke's legs. The Uchiha (even without sharing his last name, that was one an easy identification) scowled, but his friend paid him no mind. "Don't be modest, Aiko chyyaaaan. You're way better than I am. I don't think you get to claim you're dabbling after you've been asked to seal a-"

"Naruto."

At the clipped tone and tight expression, the blonde teen's eyes widened and he looked sheepish. "Right. Yes. We're not talking about the future."

' _Asked to seal a what?_ ' He sent his team to rest and took first watch, but Minato had to wonder what one instance of sealing was so important that it could qualify as sensitive information.

* * *

The ANBU team left first in the morning after Shibi woke everyone else. Naruto and Sasuke made a beeline for the palace soon after while they still had the shadows of early morning to ease their travel, but Kakashi and Aiko waited in awkward silence for daylight to truly come before they ventured out in the guise of civilians.

Their objective was to assess the atmosphere and attitude of the city by subtly interacting with the populace. They would go and do some shopping, perhaps go out for breakfast.

Or at least that was the plan.

' _This is spectacularly creepy.'_

Her face was probably a bit green under her henge, but at least Kakashi didn't know to mock her for it. ' _Even so, it's completely legitimate to be grossed out by human puppets or puppets of humans after having met that nutjob back in Sand,_ ' she argued to herself, justifying her discomfort.

It didn't work, so she turned to dark humor to steady herself and prevent gaining the notice of any of the real people moving with obvious fear through their artificial fellows. There were so few that they might be recognized as outsiders. That had seemed ridiculous in such a large city, but that didn't change the bizarre fact that there appeared to be less than a tenth of as many people as there should be in the streets.

' _At least I was right about Mukade,_ ' Aiko remembered blackly. _'More right than I knew. He must have been more than a little pissed about missing his opportunity to have real influence in Sand. He couldn't control the people there. I bet he gets off on creating his own perfect little world. Like his own real Barbie Dreamhouse, if she and her entire world was made by a monster.'_

Control freak. He was definitely a control freak, past even the point that qualified as a mental disorder. He was obsessed with asserting his will on his environment.

With that knowledge, his apparent goal of gaining domination over Wind Country (at least, possibly the Elemental Nations as a whole) made sense. Mukade was unsettled by things that were out of his control or that he felt he could better manage. He was proving to himself in an endless circle-jerk that Sand had really fucked up by not allowing him to run his own town. He was so excellent at running a city that he didn't even need people to live in it, for christ's sake. What a prize.

They had immediately returned to their base to wait for the others finish their reconnaissance. Even though they had left hours after the others, it seemed to be an unbearably long time later that the other teams returned.

"Sara is innocent," Naruto concluded, nibbling on a nail.

"She seems completely ignorant," Sasuke added in his usual way of back-handed compliments.

He received a glare from Naruto for that one. "She is a really nice person, I can tell," Naruto asserted. He crossed his legs, apparently unconcerned that the others were treating this as a more formal debriefing. "I think she's sad about something though."

"It might be the city full of demented puppets getting ready to put on a parade," Kakashi interjected unkindly, looking bored.

Everyone else, who had been far from the majority of people, gave him looks that begged clarification.

"He's right," Aiko helped, folding her hands behind her back and straightening as if to formally report. "Perhaps one in every twenty of the apparent civilians doing business on the streets this morning was an actual person. I am not certain, but I think that the others are deceased city residents who had been made into puppets." The expressions she got ranged from revolted to disbelieving. "That's a thing," she informed dryly, not hiding her shudder. "It's really gross. I hate puppet masters."

Naruto made a sound of comprehension. "Oh yeah, that time Sasori kidnapped you."

"We're not talking about that."

Her Uchiha teammate, the traitorous bastard, had the nerve to smirk. "I think we should. Didn't he find you such an unpleasant prisoner that he released you? Perhaps you should be the one to deal with Mukade after all."

"You know perfectly well that I escaped on my own," Aiko replied icily, not appreciating that the amusement that had been interjected into the conversation was at her expense. "No thanks to you."

It was actually a little hurtful that they would tease her about that. It had been one of the worst experiences of her life. ' _Then again, how would they know that? They never met the creep in person, and it's not like I talked about it.'_ Still, it stung.

"Hey, don't blame us," Naruto taunted, giving the watchers a mischievous look. "Blame Kakashi. It was never _my_ job to make sure you didn't get kidnapped from your hospital bed."

Kakashi seemed to disbelieve that would be his problem as well, but Minato was giving the boy a mildly disappointed look. Hell if Aiko knew why.

"This is pointless," she deflected, tightening her clasped fingers in irritation _. 'I know that they deal with stress by making light of it. But I do not appreciate it right now.'_

Somehow, Minato managed to get them all sent back out. She didn't fail to notice that he hadn't shared what his team had discovered, but he had concluded that it would be acceptable for her to travel with her team now. That had to mean that he had discerned that Mukade was the culprit for his mission as well, and he didn't worry about them getting in a fight over their heads because his team would be around. They were going to have to confront Mukade.

' _We're probably the decoy. Minato's team is shadowing us. Mukade is meant to see us but not his team.'_ Aiko parsed, following Sasuke through the crowds that paid them no mind to have a better view of the princess. She was already walking out onto the balcony to give some speech to a vast courtyard full of puppets, gargled cheers torn from dead throats and generously supplemented by the enthusiasm wrestled from the few real humans there. It was probably enthusiasm not to be murdered for failing to help make the show pretty.

' _Mukade must think it's amusing to figuratively puppet Sara into giving pointless speeches to literal puppets_.' Aiko's own lips twitched with amusement she hid from her brother. It _was_ pretty funny, in a perverse way. He probably wouldn't appreciate it, though.

That was when the girl on the balcony seemed to suddenly jerk forward and fall. She must have been stunned, or drugged, or under mind control of some sort because it was just plain unnatural for her to plummet from a fatal height without a sound.

' _Is he trying to have her killed because he knows we're here?'_ Guiltily, Aiko glanced down at the redheaded girl in her brother's arms. He'd been the fastest to rescue a damsel. Creepily, none of the puppets had reacted at all to her fall. More tellingly, neither had the figures on the balcony. Either Sara was surrounded by more convincing human puppets, or they were all in on the plot. ' _Poor girl. If we weren't here, she would probably have been left alone, if only for a while longer.'_

Sara was fourteen- barely younger than Aiko herself. But a civilian fourteen was so much younger than a shinobi fifteen, even if Sara had technically come of age. Sara was probably more naïve than most, pampered and misled by someone who wanted to control her since she was a vulnerable child right after the death of her only living family.

Then Sara opened pretty, jewel-bright purple eyes that had apparently been squeezed shut in fear and shock—and immediately slapped Naruto twice.

' _Suddenly, I do not like her at all.'_

Aiko didn't remember moving, but she was holding an incredibly delicate wrist between her thumb and forefingers to restrain the brat's movement. When the princess twisted to look at her, fury in her face, something stilled her.

Probably the expression Aiko held, though she had no idea what it was. "Maa," she started with deliberate casualness, "That's not a good way to thank someone who just saved you from falling to your death. I think you owe him an apology along with your thanks." She gave a smile with just a little too much teeth and let go of the younger girl's wrist.

Sara turned an unbecoming pink. "I- I don't have to say anything but put me down!" She elbowed Naruto with all the force a wiry looking civilian girl could muster. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she was dusting herself off and giving an imperious sniff. "Thank you. If you will excuse me, I need to get back up there."

"I," Sasuke breathed into Aiko's ear, "am not impressed."

She didn't think she had to speak to communicate agreement, only direct a dry look at him. "Since she can't be bothered to thank Naruto for her life, maybe she doesn't appreciate it very much. If she really wanted to fall to her death, we could put her back up there," she turned just enough to mutter under her breath. Sasuke gave her a wicked smirk in return.

But Naruto seemed to be about to set Sara off on another snit, judging by the way she was puffing up, so she reluctantly re-entered the conversation.

"Look, Sara, is it?" The other girl turned, probably to say something indignant about her title, but Aiko gave her a look that brooked no shit and pressed forward. "Don't you find anything remotely unusual about the fact that you just nearly fell to your death and no one seems to have noticed? Go and take a closer look at the crowd."

"Why?" Sara frowned. "I had a much better view from the balcony, of all the colors of their clothing and them cheering for me."

Aiko cringed a little. _'It helps our purposes, but someone really failed this girl. She has no self-preservation, and she's unbearably naïve. We're representatives of a foreign military illegally in her city. She should be struggling to get away from us. Someone… Someone needs to help her. She'll never survive ten minutes like this once we get rid of Anroukuzan. She's an easy victim.'_

"What, you don't find the idea of meeting your subjects in person interesting?" Sasuke raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow. Sara seemed to notice him for the first time—and instantly flushed. She dipped her chin slightly in what seemed to be shyness but also allowed her to check him out.

' _Sasuke, you pretty boy. I think we just about heard her panties drop.'_

He looked less amused, and Naruto hadn't even noticed. Ugh, boys. At least Sasuke had thought to play on the girl's apparent sentimentalism for her people. Naruto was looking at them in disquiet that indicated he would have preferred to open by telling her the truth: that her people had been killed and replaced with simulacrums and that her trusted advisor was a criminal from twenty years in the future.

But that just wasn't going to win them any friends. In fact, Sara would probably be in the right to decide they were dangerously crazy and flee post-haste.

The princess looked torn between her curiosity and duty to return to her attempted murderer, but luckily she was just contrary enough to indulge herself. Aiko felt almost bad about how obviously eager Sara was to meet her adoring public. In another circumstance, she might have found amusement at the look on Sara's face when they first got close enough to see the unnaturally altered visage of one of the puppet-civilians.

Aiko was instead sympathetic. "Yeah, they're creepy." Sara was a bit of a brat, but her naivety was intentionally cultivated and not necessarily a personal fault, so she didn't have to steel herself too much to give the younger girl a comforting squeeze with one arm.

Physical reassurance was usually more Naruto's shtick than hers, but after Sara had smacked him for saving her life, Aiko was going to assume that the girl wasn't comfortable being touched by boys. That was fine.

She did feel badly for Sara and a bit melancholy in general. The girl had been used all her life, and her future was bleak. No matter what they did here today, Rouran was destined to fall soon.

Still, she withdrew her arm briskly. No need to push it or wallow. "Do you want to know what those are, and why they're here?"

Sara looked to be on the verge of panic. Her purple eyes were welling with tears, but this was the time to push. If they let her go now, she would run back to her trusted advisor.

Naruto gave her a dirty look that said he knew exactly what she was doing and didn't approve. Still, she was currently the team leader, and he generally trusted that she wouldn't bring the girl to harm. "Princess Sara?" he tried gently. "Don't you think you should know what's going on?"

Sara sniffled, glancing back at the simulacrum stiffly waving up at an empty balcony. Sasuke gave Aiko a mildly panicked look, as if begging her to make the crying stop. She gave a helpless shrug in return, silently communicating, ' _What the hell do you want me to do about it?_ ' The look he gave her implied he was willing to accept anything to make it go away.

"Yes," Sara stated softly, but with an undeniable firmness. Aiko's lips pulled into a faint smile, both in relief and approval. Good. The girl wasn't hopeless after all.

' _Wait. That scent is a living human.'_

The difference between a living person and one of the non-rotting puppets made with human materials was slight, but enough that Aiko had turned and pointed a wary glare on the pretty woman who had slunk up behind them before anyone else.

But the interloper had only eyes for Princess Sara.

"Are you…" She shakingly stopped, and tried again, focused with unnerving intensity on Sara. "Are you really the Princess?" When Sara gave a quivering smile and a nod, the stranger woman cut her off before she could speak. "Did you come to help us?"

The naked hope in that question cut even Aiko's heart. Naruto and the princess didn't stand a chance.

An hour later, she was willing to rescind every kind or even tolerant thought she'd had about Sara. She kept getting in the way, tripping over nothing and talking inappropriately loudly about incredibly dull things. Alternately, she monologued (something about her mother? It wasn't half as interesting as Sara thought it was) and argued with Naruto about the likelihood of Anroukuzan being a puppet-master.

They had somehow ended up on some hare-brained mission to show Sara the depths of depravity that the resident puppet master had descended to by investigating one of the complexes that the people thought was suspicious. Or rather, that one of the few people who hadn't been dragged away on 'Sara's' orders found suspicious. Some of the kidnapped people were later replaced by puppets. Perhaps worse was that some weren't. Women and men who were ill-suited to manual labor tended to return as puppets, while the children and athletic men were simply gone.

Aiko rather suspected that what they would find when they eventually discovered where the civilians were being taken to would not be pleasant. She had never seen humans used for slave labor or turned into weapons, but it couldn't be anything less than a shock to an intentionally pampered child like Sara.

' _Speaking of shocking new sights: There they are.'_

"Oh for-" Aiko cursed quietly, picking Sara up bodily and leaping backwards out of the line of fire when the next corridor yielded a grotesque looking puppet with a tiny head, arms and legs that had apparently been modeled off of Madonna's cone bra, and hula hoops around their hips for some reason–not a particularly humanoid one, thankfully, but probably a more dangerous one—that gave a hoarse sound of some sort of alert when it spotted their group. No doubt it was summoning allies or backup dancers. She'd seen Beyonce do the same thing in a music video once. Or maybe it was the Lady Gaga?

She shrugged away that pointless line of thought and deposited Sara behind a support column and turned back to their opponents. "Stay here, okay? We'll take care of this. There are probably more."

The creature and those that followed it were a dusty red color, like dirty river clay, and they smelled of something sour and herbal. Perhaps it was the compound that Mukade used to treat the metal weapons contained inside to keep them oiled and rust-free. When Naruto leapt ahead to strike the first blow, the impact's sound implied they were largely hollow.

' _That would be strange. Usually a puppet designer is very efficient about balancing weight, space, and variety of weapons. Why wouldn't Mukade want to fill all the available space?'_

Naruto and Sasuke had already barreled ahead into the complex and began to test themselves against the puppets for the first time. She'd been right to tuck Sara away: there were a lot of the things.

' _Mukade is a busy guy.'_

"This is actually pretty fun," Sasuke huffed with a grin, blowing a lock of hair out of his face and twisting around to clock another puppet so hard that it crashed into two more of its fellows, shattering against the wall twenty feet away.

She gave a snort in return, keeping a thin smile on her lips and an eye on the massive pile up of puppets and the way that they moved.

This seemed like an odd ploy. What was the point in constructing so many structurally weak puppets with predictable weaponry and sending them at intruders without any sense of strategy? At this rate, they would have them all destroyed within six minutes, easily.

She probably should have noted that the pieces jerked strangely when they fell on the ground, as if the creatures weren't really defeated. But she was cutting her enemies down with little concern for those that fell, working to eliminate their numbered advantage.

' _Wheeee…'_

It was even more fun than she'd known the only time she'd used this in a fight before to swirl, dart, and Hiraishin her way through the pileup, getting faster and faster as she tagged seals after seals, all explosive Hiraishin. Speed was definitely her friend—some of those puppets were wielding chakra strings of their own to shoot retractable blades, which was ridiculously extravagant. Enormous amounts of chakra indeed. When she'd fought her way into the opposite end of the area, Aiko turned to view the expanse, gave an anticipatory grin, and yelled "Boom, baby!"

Just for the fuck of it.

The room was positively filled with stupidly surprised looking puppets flying about in bits, but none of the charred smell associated with standard explosions. They were whole and then they were in hundreds of pieces in the air.

There was a strange "Erp" sound from behind her. Aiko swiveled to see chibi Kakashi staring wide-eyed, incomprehensibly shaking his head at the room. Ah, that was right. He was observing today. It was take your student to work day, apparently, and she'd ended up Minato's babysitter.

' _Oh well. He seems fine.'_

She shrugged and moved on with her life, flipping up onto a puppet's back to avoid the blade it brought down.

"Sara!"

Naruto's panicked shout on the other side of a wall drew her attention, and she realized for the first time that she'd pushed her way further into the complex and in a different direction than the boys had.

Her Hiraishin bounced her off of the enormous thing that had snatched Naruto up and was enclosing him in—were those _puppets_ , fusing together like some sort of goddamn transformer about to fight off bad aliens? Were those the puppets that they had been knocking apart?

In a detached way, her mind surveyed the situation. Her brother was pale-faced and pounding on the closing puppet, fifteen feet off the ground. Sara, that indomitable idiot, was splayed up on the floor with her lower lip trembling in a way that just told her he'd gotten snatched up to save her when she inevitably ran to tell the puppets to stop in the name of love or her mother's spirit or whatever it was she went on about. Sasuke was forcing his way through a crowd of those puppets, pulling them apart as though they were made of tissue paper even as they struggled and warped into a cohesive whole.

But mostly she saw her otouto looking determined but deceptively frail as the new puppet sealed him inside a grotesque, stupid tomb of Mukade's making.

Aiko gave an enraged scream and leapt thoughtlessly at the clay puppet trapping her brother for the sake of that girl who _wouldn't pay attention_ to her surroundings. "Sen Tsurara!"

With sudden, hateful clarity, she realized at least one reason why people shouted out the name of their jutsu, despite it being unprofessional and generally counterproductive for sneaky assassins. When you really despised someone, you wanted them to know how you were going to kill them. She was going to kill Mukade herself, and to hell with the consequences.

Her technique skittered with a cacophony of high pitched shrieks off the hard reddish surface in the instant before it bit in and punched all the way through the unnatural material trapping her brother, leaving her wrist deep in sodden, scraped and shattered material. Her blow had been aimed several feet above him to prevent any chance of harming him with her technique. This should have shattered the damn thing and let him escape.

Instead, the horrid self-regenerating clay bubbled and warped up, already growing back in where she'd collapsed it. Even worse, the hole she'd made had been about a foot and a half in diameter. Certainly not enough for Naruto to escape unless it was positioned perfectly.

' _I need more force. A lot more force applied precisely.'_

"Sasuke!" she called, fear frantically whining in her head.

"Back up," he roared, cocking and fist and coming at the puppet with a fierce expression. She crouched and pushed off of the puppet in the direction Sasuke had come from, crossing him in the air a half-second before he collided and smashed the whole tacky affair like an antique plate, collapsing the armor inwards. Naruto easily slipped out, hitting the ground in a roll and popping back up to form a shadow clone.

"I'm taking Sara out of here," he called, gathering the girl up like she weighed less than a thought and bounding towards the left corridor and letting his clone cover his back. "They were targeting her."

It was good strategy, though she didn't like him going alone. And it gave her an opportunity to pound on these things without impunity.

"Sasuke, follow him." Aiko cracked her neck and flexed her fingers, giving the reassembling puppets an unimpressed stare. "They're just going to keep regenerating. I'll immobilize them and catch up to you two later."

' _It's almost a shame we didn't find any of the missing people here, but this had to have convinced even Sara that something is really wrong. Being attacked on sight has to be unnerving.'_

"Understood." He gave a brisk nod and left in a flash of movement.

It wasn't like she was at any risk for being trapped inside a puppet cage, after all. Besides, the constructs that she had detonated still hadn't brought themselves back together. Either that was impossible, or it took much longer. She blinked away thoughts of the potential strain of setting that many seals at once. She'd already set at least a hundred, and that was a good chunk of her reserves.

' _I'll tag every other one and make the explosions bigger to conserve chakra_ ,' she decided grimly. It was hardly optimal to do less localized explosions when fighting inside, as it increased the risk of structural damage or friendly fire. But the only ally who was possibly still in the area was Kakashi, who was a sneaky little bastard. He was probably scoffing at her showiness and steadily picking through a confused-looking group of the idiot devices from a distance, insulting them under his breath the whole time.

That was about the time that she jumped and realized one of her Hiraishin seals was definitely not where it should have been. She methodically, efficiently worked to get through her opponents—they didn't seem to regenerate when detonated—so she could go investigate.

When all the puppets laid in broken pieces on the floor, she picked her way through the rubble mindlessly, making certain that the missing workers weren't in the area. Naruto and Sara must have gone the right way, because her path led her outside. Oddly enough, she'd traveled far enough through the complex that she could see one of the city gates, and a single figure standing under it looking lost.

A bit of dust was kicked up by a rather efficient shunshin, and the boy she'd misplaced was standing by her side. "That one of yours?" Kakashi asked long-sufferingly, pointing at the older shinobi who had just now noticed them and gotten a dopey grin.

"Yepp," she sighed, wishing he looked a little more impressive and a little less windswept and silly. Then Aiko frowned. "But he shouldn't be alone." She purposefully left Kakashi behind, striding to meet Yamato in the middle of the block. Before he could open his mouth, she flung her arms around his flak jacket, burying her face into his chest. She could feel him stiffen and knew he was uncomfortable. Didn't even care.

"You're taking over," she informed him, knowing he could understand her muffled tone. Still, for emphasis, she drew one arm back and poked him in the chest repeatedly with two fingers. "This shit is ridiculous and I want to go home and I don't like being captain."

"I- I guess I'll take that as a compliment?" he asked uncertainly, gently pulling her back by her forearms and giving her a slight frown, brows creased. "What's going on? Where are we?"

Aiko tilted her head up just to be sure he could see her roll her eyes at him. "You serious? Look around." She gestured widely, fingers held together so she wasn't rude like Naruto or chibi-Kashi.

Not coincidentally, said boy was in the range she indicated. Yamato's eyes locked on him and widened comically.

In a strange, stifled tone, he asked, "Is that-"

"Yepp," she informed easily.

He seemed to deflate with a puff, before just the slightest hint of boyish amusement crossed his features. Then he was a professional again. "Right, then. Where are the boys?"

"They're playing bodyguards to a princess who is being manipulated by Mukade while an ANBU team lurks in the shadows," she replied professionally. At least, as professional as it was possible to say such a ludicrous thing.

Yamato pinned his hand to his head and slowly shook it. "Start from the beginning."

"Well, to be fair, the princess doesn't seem to really believe that Mukade is the one behind all this. When he unstuck that seal, he ended up getting us all sent back in time." She raised her eyebrows meaningfully. "As you've noticed, we didn't all end up in the same time."

Sweet, clever, socially capable Yamato seemed to read the question she didn't hint at. "As far as I know, Mitsuo is fine," he assured briskly. "He was far enough back that I'm sure he didn't get caught up."

She slumped in relief, taking a deep breath and putting that worry to rest. "Thank kami."

Kakashi had been watching with curiosity, but seemed fed up with waiting now. "You're being rude," he pointed out waspishly. "And we should report."

Yamato stared at him for a moment. He seemed to swallow the first thing that came to mind, and merely gave him a rather sad look. "You've got a lot of growing up to do, kid." Aiko tried not to wince. Yeah. This was pre-Obito Kakashi. He was almost a different person.

Whatever he saw in their expressions unnerved him enough that he didn't say a damn thing, only took the lead and cut the straightest line to the rendezvous point.

* * *

I'm afraid that I lied- there's going to be one more chapter before the movie is wrapped up.


	78. Chapter 78

Thankfully, everyone had been on time and made their way back to the meeting with little trouble.

Yamato seemed to be having a difficult time keeping his eyes off of Minato. He'd made the phenomenally embarrassing decision to shake Minato's hand and stutter that it was an honor to meet him when they'd been introduced. It had set an awkward tone for the debriefing that followed. Minato might not even be a local hero yet, so he certainly wouldn't understand why Yamato treated him like a celebrity.

"We need to find those people," Naruto grumbled, giving an uncertain look at Sara.

Minato hadn't appeared to care, but if she'd been the one in charge, Aiko would not have been pleased about Naruto deciding to bring a civilian to their temporary hideout. _'But I might not have much room to talk. I came back with a stray too.'_

She was too relieved to really be grumpy, now that one of the people she trusted to give her orders was here. Yamato was a smart guy. He'd take care of them, and she would only have to worry about doing her part.

He was a dork of monumental proportions, but she'd prefer being embarrassed to being responsible for making decisions that could endanger lives without the benefit of extensive preparation and information. She just wasn't the kind of person who reacted well to unexpected stresses. It took a certain type of steel nerves to forge blindly forward. Naruto had that kind of bravery, and even Sasuke did to some extent.

Not Aiko. She would much rather have floor plans, psychological analyses, and a plan that could have been written with bullet points. Information was power.

"It's not going to be pretty," Choza warned gently, giving Sara a look of almost unduly parental concern, seeing as he was twenty five at the absolute oldest. She didn't have the sense to appreciate the kindness for what it was, though her eyes did soften and defensive posture seemed a bit relaxed around him. It was hard to stay on your guard around Choza. He just emanated 'good guy' like Karin gave off perfume.

' _If we were really the good guys, we wouldn't be bringing Sara in on any of this._ ' Aiko turned her face away from the conversation.

Naruto might not be savvy enough to see that giving Sara what she wanted was doing the girl no favors, but Aiko couldn't help but notice. _'Sara is just a little girl, despite what she thinks. In a few years, she might have the know-how to complement her good intentions. As is, she's just moved from being manipulated by Mukade to being led by us.'_

Aiko wasn't proud, but she wasn't going to interfere either. It may not be in Sara's best interests, but if she could be convinced to help permanently (hopefully, anyway) seal the massive stores of chakra that had made this place a thriving metropolis, it would help team Kakashi get home. She would rather protect her own interests at the cost of Sara's, but she couldn't do it without a wince. At least Naruto hadn't caught on. He saw only the best of people.

' _Logic aside, this is a little colder than I expected from Minato.'_ Her eyes sought his out from across the room, silently searching for what was going on in his head. She factually knew that he'd been famous for single-handedly destroying armies, but that was years in the future, and a clear-cut conflict against trained soldiers. This was manipulating an oblivious child under the guise of helping her. Sara wasn't even cognizant of the fact that they were clearly marked foreign military personnel who definitely did not have permission to be in her city, for the kami's sake. She was obviously not prepared to advocate against them.

Grudgingly, she felt a bit of respect for Minato well up. She might not have been able to make that call, or at least not as smoothly as he did. Sara would probably end up thanking him for this when it was all done without a clue that she'd been used.

' _Once a puppet, always a puppet, I suppose.'_

At least they didn't actually have malicious intentions. Just ones that ran counter to her best interests: Konoha would be better off if none of their enemies had a chance to take advantage of the enormous power hidden in this city. ' _To be fair, we are doing her an enormous favor by ridding her of Mukade, and that's before we take into account that we'll probably end up freeing whatever civilians we run into. If she were aware enough to realize how much sealing the chakra will hurt her city, she might be willing to make the sacrifice for those benefits alone.'_

It was a bit of a moot point, though, when she didn't even know what was going on. Not that Naruto did, though Sasuke might.

' _Sometimes, being able to read a situation sucks.'_ Minato was a good team leader after all, capable of making calls Naruto would be too emotionally compromised to settle for with much less information than Aiko would have needed to steel herself to the task. No wonder he'd been Hokage. Once he'd been tempered to a fine steel by the third war, he would be more than formidable.

"-can make one more search for your missing civilians," Minato offered easily, as if it hadn't been his plan all along. Now that Mukade knew they were here, he would have to move quickly. His first move would probably be to try to eliminate the one person who could wrest control of his chakra source from him. Dangling Sara out in the open would be the best way to get him to come out at the same time that it convinced her they were helping her out of the goodness of their hearts. She didn't even seem capable of considering that they wouldn't care about her people. Ironic, that, considering she'd half-way accepted that 'Anroukuzan' had been lying to her.

"Alright." The girl stood as if she was in charge, determination painted prettily across her features. "Masako said that there was one more place she knew of people being taken. We will go there now."

It took a moment to recall where the name Masako came in—that was the civilian woman who had found Naruto's group when they had returned to the palace to confront Anroukuzan, wasn't it? _'Better that they met her than found Mukade,'_ Aiko shivered. This situation should be controlled as precisely as possible.

"Just one more thing. Yamato-san, I'm going to borrow your second for a moment." Minato stood easily, brushing off his pants.

"Of course."

Aiko shot a mild glare at her captain for not even asking why, but trailed out after Minato to the stairwell. He wordlessly tapped down two floors and finally settled against a wall, resting one foot flat against the wall and slouching with his hands in his pockets. "I couldn't help but notice that you've been stressed and on edge."

She gaped.

' _That's surreal. Why would he care? This isn't daycare, it's work. If I'm stressed, it's no one's business but my own as long as I do my job. And I have been doing my job. Right?'_

When she didn't respond, Minato glanced over and raised an eyebrow slowly. "Is something wrong?"

"Well." Aiko stalled for time, bringing a hand up to rub at her neck. "It's just… Why are you bringing this up?"

His brow furrowed, and she had the intimidating sensation of holding his full attention. Naruto's eyes were a similar shade, but they had never been so piercing. "I would be rather remiss as a commander if I didn't at least attempt to see how I could help you. Clearly, something about this mission is bothering you."

A surprisingly bitter snort welled up. She ran her hand through her hair, nails scraping her scalp and tangling in her ponytail as she talked. "Aside from the potential that I'll never get to go home again, the fact that my teammates don't respect my authority at all, or the bit where puppets press every freak-out button that I have and my team apparently thinks that's _funny_?" Aiko finished hoarsely. Oh hell, were her eyes really welling up? Furious with herself, she rubbed at her eyes with the back of her right hand, her left curled into a fist, nails digging into her palm.

"Hey now." His hand was as gentle as his voice when Minato tucked his thumb into her hand and pried it open, rubbing the calloused pad lightly against her palm for a moment. "Want to talk about what's so wrong with puppets?"

She let her neck go limp so her head thunked against the wall and wailed quietly, fingers shaking with the restrained effort of not indulging the utterly pathetic desire to give herself a hug. "What _isn't_ wrong with puppets?" In between gasps, she sank down the wall and let her arms rest on her knees. "I can't even look at the damn things without thinking about the worst day of my life. They're disgusting even when they're not made of people."

It wasn't really the puppets themselves (though they did make her skin crawl). It was that she couldn't help but associate them with being completely helpless at someone else's mercy. She never wanted to feel that way again. Just remembering waking up to find that she'd been held close to a rotting slave and counted as an equally worthless sack of meat made her stomach turn. Being completely devalued and unable to do anything to prevent it… what was the point in training over half her life if a stupid thing like pain medicine could make her incapable of fending against the slightest threats?

She was never going to be that helpless again, ever.

Minato had frozen, probably terrified that he'd gotten in over his head. He managed to cautiously offer, "I'm sensing some baggage here. Is this connected to the incident the boys were teasing you about?"

Woodenly, she nodded.

He coughed. "When you were kidnapped? Would you, uh… like to talk about it?"

' _No one actually asked me about that before, outside of my debriefing.'_

Aiko genuinely considered it for a moment. She didn't like people knowing about her emotional vulnerabilities because they might –god forbid- want to talk about _feelings_ (hers or other people's: it was awful either way). But what could it hurt to talk to Minato? She was never going to see him again. He was a dead man walking. It was like talking to the memorial stone. Or Schrödinger's cat.

"Well, it's kind of a confusing story," she obfuscated, biting her lower lip for a moment before she continued. "I was in Suna and there were two missing nin who intended to kidnap the Kazekage- like I said, a long story," she hastily tacked on without looking at his face, because that was a bizarre thing to say out of context. "The first was killed, but the fight put me in the hospital." Aiko waved a hand dismissively, as if that wasn't terribly relevant to the story.

"Anyways, the second man was a bit smarter than his colleague and decided that it'd be really awkward for Suna to have to tell Konoha that they'd misplaced me and the Kazekage would have to come after me. So by the time he had me maybe twenty miles out of the city, I was sort of regaining my senses, but I was confused enough to think that I was hallucinating but still in the hospital until I realized that the nurse carrying me was in fact starting to rot and that I was covered in her blood. Long story short, there was a very real possibility that I was going to find out how he liked to turn people into puppets through a special process that retains part of their consciousness and special jutsu abilities. I can't think of a way for a puppet to have their own chakra unless they're alive in some form." Aiko shuddered, forcing her mouth shut with a clack of teeth.

"That…" Minato weakly cleared his throat. "That was a confusing story, but I can see where it would be traumatizing. How did you get away?"

"On my own," Aiko deflected, tone implying that part wasn't up for discussion.

The only reply was a distracted hum that implied he wasn't about to prod there. After a moment, Minato heaved a sigh and held out a hand to help her up. "I can't tell you what to do, of course, but I'd suggest that you talk to your team." He gave her a faint smile. "I don't think that they mean to stress you, and if they understood that there are some issues you can't joke about, they would back down. Does that make sense?"

She nodded wordlessly, fixing her mussed hair as they made their way back upstairs. Strangely, she felt a lot better. Maybe there was something to all that sissy propaganda about sharing your feelings to share the burden.

' _Nah. Must be a magical Minato thing,_ ' Aiko decided, wiping her face blank as they re-entered the room. They hadn't been gone terribly long, but everyone seemed ready to go. Kakashi, in particular, gave her an unusually evaluative look, tinged with a healthy dose of condescension that made her wonder if the sneaky little fuck had been jealous enough of her getting personal attention to listen in. They'd only been two floors away, after all. You had to work much harder to hide shit from him, even the bratty version.

Minato's group whisked away in a blur of light and motion on their super-secret-not-telling-you-guys-mission, but Aiko wasn't convinced. They were probably still following the group to provide the ambush party. She didn't let on as they crossed the ghost town to meet Masako and a small group of women who had come with her on this good-intentioned quest. At least they knew enough to be tense, though they seemed to gain confidence from seeing Sara among them. Probably because they thought that she was too valuable to be risked on a hopeless quest. They were right, though not for the altruistic reasons they probably imagined without the benefit of contextual knowledge.

The building Masako led them to did indeed have an ominous aura, but then again, all of them did. Sasuke easily broke the lock off and pulled the doors open, but Naruto and Sara took the lead in. Yamato slouched at the very back to watch over the group as a whole.

It was too quiet, even for a city in an artificial sleep. This was obviously a factory of sorts. There should be electricity humming and machines running… unless the equipment was powered by something other than electricity, she reminded herself. Something like manpower, for example.

' _Mukade has to know we're here._ ' Tense, she augmented her hearing and paid close attention to her chakra sense.

It provided her first indication that Masako had been correct. There were a number of weak human chakra signatures not far away. Sara bristled when she took the lead, but Naruto and Sasuke's calm acceptance seemed to reassure her. That was a blessing, because she really didn't want the younger girl to open her mouth and talk. Sweet and determined she may be, but Aiko found her vexing. It would be a waste of breath to explain that she was the only sensor in the party.

She led them faultlessly through the darkness, through two long corridors and a contamination chamber before she opened the door that exposed the group to the harsh breathing of a group of dirty, half-clad men chained to a gigantic wheel.

' _That is ridiculously old school. It's like a waterwheel at a mill, if a miller was ever nuts enough to use slave labor instead of a fast current to turn it.'_

Her reaction was atypical—cries of alarm, relief, and grief rang out from the rest of the room. Sara was the first to act to strike off chains, with- ' _My god, she unintentionally augmented her physical strength with chakra. That is not something an untrained civilian should be able to do._ ' Yamato seemed to note the oddity as well and kept a wary eye on Sara that implied he too was thinking about his old theory that the Queens of Rouran were benefitting from special training to interact with chakra rather than a kami-given gift that implied they were meant to rule. If that were true, she could have other skills. Maybe there was a reason she didn't feel intimidated in the presence of foreign shinobi?

There wasn't time to worry about that. The joyous reunions were cut off by a light flickering to life overhead that revealed a small militia of the red puppets hiding in alcoves around the room.

"It's a shame that you've gotten entangled with such rough characters, Princess Sara." Mukade stepped into the light, silent except for the swish of his robes on the ground. Masako stood tall, but most of the other civilians cowered. With good reason, judging by their emaciated states and downtrodden attitudes. As he surveyed them, his tone was dispassionate, but his eyes practically burnt with cruel eagerness. "You were so useful, too." He sighed theatrically, shaking his head.

' _I'd had no idea he was here.'_

Her muscles tensed. ' _He's stealthy. Almost like Sasori in that I can't smell anything human. Is that a jutsu that puppet-masters know, or a sign that this is just a genjutsu? Should I kill him now? Could I kill him now?'_ He was in his home territory, and he seemed so cocky that it was hard to believe he was unprepared for a frontal assault. Sasuke shifted his weight from foot to foot as if he was considering the same thing. Naruto merely stepped in front of Sara and pinned the bastard with an unforgiving blue stare.

"She's not a tool for you to use, Mukade."

"No, not any longer," he agreed amicably. "She has been facilitating my goals for many years now, however, and I think that deserves some recognition." Sara looked at him, white-faced, clearly dwelling on the fact that she had unknowingly been complicit in the way he had abused and murdered the people she was meant to protect. The old man smiled in a way that looked almost friendly. "I have something I would like to give her."

A high shriek rang out from somewhere behind them, but hell if Aiko could tell the source. She was too busy moving to deal with the small army pouring in through the doors as if Mukade had been expecting to fight them there all along. Perhaps he had a spy among the civilian women who had come with them. Perhaps they had just been predictable.

"I don't think that's a gift the Princess wants," Minato's voice sounded from behind her. Aiko blinked at the deadpan, twisting just enough to see he and his team had come out of hiding. The future Hokage was standing over Sara who was sprawled on the floor, holding a three-bladed kunai almost casually out after having just deflected some attack Aiko hadn't seen.

"Eh," she grunted, turning back to her own fight. It would be stupid to get killed because she didn't focus on the enemies approaching her, even if whatever they were saying interested her. Mukade probably wasn't helpfully providing the key to his own destruction, so she turned to her own analysis.

' _He hardly fights like a puppet master anymore. There's a reason that the best puppet users are renowned for their subtlety and control, not their numbers or power.'_

Just throwing these devices at them indicated that he thought the resources were almost worthless because he just had so many of them. Mukade certainly had more than enough to hold his city, since they would just reform given time. He must be planning to make Rouran his center of power, a fortress from where he'd train and send out armies that weren't limited only to his conscious control and supported by local power.

(That was a pretty terrible weakness for someone who wanted to conquer the world. Perhaps he should have considered a new hobby.)

It had devolved into absolute havoc. The older team leapt to engage Mukade himself as it became clear that he was the large threat. Literally— the smaller puppets that were close to Mukade dis-assembled and reformed into an enormous, spider-like beast with bulging, black-slit eyes and creepishly humanoid teeth. Also, it apparently had scythes for hands. Aiko cringed and was grateful for her assignment— Kakashi and team Yamato worked on the mass of smaller, unmanned puppets that buzzed around like ants defending their queen.

Choza unceremoniously flattened spider-Mukade against the ceiling.

Naruto snorted.

"Fools!" Mukade shrieked, spittle flying out his mouth as he worked to cover himself in that clayish armor in a matter of seconds. "I am invincible, so long as I am in my city. All the ancient chakra Rouran can offer is mine. You are all going to die!"

' _What is wrong with this man? Why not just go straight to his most badass form if he has multiple personal puppets?'_

The next transformation was even more grotesque, but at least it was closer to humanoid. It had the same small-headed aesthetic as his smaller soldiers (not that they were particularly small at about 6.5 feet in height), but a series of razors up his back for some reason. Laboriously, it looked up—and Aiko grimaced. It looked like it had flat goggles, tusks, and a strange head protrusion that she could only liken to a tumor. The man himself was barely visible from behind one of the chest plates.

' _Wonder what made him lose his cool. He seemed rather composed earlier._ ' Not for the first time, Aiko cursed that her taijutsu relied on speed and constant movement. It kept her from hearing most of the conversation as she flickered about the area, using her short blade to hack off puppet limbs and keep them away from the group of civilians.

"Am I really the only one who sees the painfully obvious solution to this problem?" Sasuke groaned, looking up to the sky as if praying for strength. Naruto shot him a pouty look, before kicking a puppet in the face.

"Don't be stupid, bastard. Of course not. But he could be lying. Come on, how many people have you fought that really had 'unlimited power' (he mocked in an intentionally low tone, wiggling his hands while the older team looked on in confusion and curiosity)? I'm still not convinced he's telling the truth, but it would sure make killing him easier in the case that he is."

"Try the simple solution first," Aiko advised dryly. She knew what they were implying: if Mukade really had unlimited power in Rouran, then they should take him out of Rouran. With two Hiraishin users present, that really wouldn't be that hard. But it would mean separating, so it wasn't preferable. "Brute force. Sasuke, would you escort Princess Sara and her retinue to somewhere safer, so Mukade stops targeting her? You're best suited to making a path through any number of these stupid puppets, even if they don't stay down. Isn't there that area where Mukade can't use his puppets, Sara?" The Uchiha grumbled a bit, but acknowledged his orders as Sara began coaxing the formerly imprisoned workers to get up, mobilizing the less injured or weary to help support their fellows. In an almost offensively inspirational manner, she began offering encouragement. It was "Will of Fire" grade-worthy drivel.

The kunoichi couldn't help but cringe. _'At least she's organizing them. It's about time she did something useful,_ ' Aiko thought unkindly.

"Super expansion jutsu!" Choza grunted, batting Mukade's new, bloated form against the opposing wall with a hand like a fleshy fly swatter. He went down with an enormous sound of breaking material, but when Mukade got back up there was no sign of damage. Worse, he brought out one of the abilities she'd seen on some of the smaller puppets—hundreds of tendrils of chakra strings sprang out, slicing both on their own and with carried weaponry.

Mildly surprised that the fight was still going on even though she'd been distracted by planning, she barely jumped away in time to avoid shrapnel from the collision.

"The team commander approves of what the underling orders," Yamato said tonelessly, somehow managing to make her feel sheepish for forgetting her field command was over without actually scolding her. She gave an apologetic smile as Shibi unleashed a straight-up terrifying amount of insects. They swarmed over one of the thing's legs, siphoning off chakra. Apparently he didn't believe Mukade was telling the truth about having unlimited power.

He was on her side, but still she kept a wide berth. Yuck. Give her a mammal any day. Slugs, bugs, snakes, and toads… why were the summons of almost everyone she knew so damn _creepy_?

Sasuke sneered at Yamato before leaping away towards Sara, leaving the parting shot, "What are you even here for? We were doing fine," hanging in the air as he herded Sara's group to the door, darting backwards at the last moment to throw an attacker through the wall.

"The hero shows up at the last moment?" Naruto offered with a hint of laughter at some shared joke Aiko didn't get, using a genjutsu that left afterimages that almost seemed to be clones in a blur of movement, confusing the poor stupid simulacrums that were attempting to get together to form another one of the large puppets while Mukade menaced the older team.

They could barely hear Sasuke's snort as he left the room. "Maybe you'll get a bridge named after you."

' _I don't know exactly what's going on, but I do know we're mocking Yamato.'_

"He probably just showed up to steal more of my thunder," Aiko punned, giving their long-suffering captain a cheeky grin. "I'm accidentally giving him a decent reputation. I should probably henge into him and go do something really embarrassing, like beg Tsunade for a date."

Minato choked.

Naruto groaned. "Aiko, that's terrible. You ruined it. We had a good thing going on."

Unapologetic, she shrugged, dodging another one of the attackers and wishing that she could use her Hiraishin here.

' _I mean, I could actually use just Hiraishin, but it would be really stupid to use explosives in here. Not in this enclosed space with so many allies who aren't used to fighting around me.'_

Fighting with Hiraishin had been traumatizing enough when she'd first started to use it around allies. Really, it was best used when she was alone, even if she was much better with it now. At least it was hard to mess up when she was just planting them and occasionally using one to rubberband behind a clump of enemies that might have otherwise stymied her. When she wasn't throwing anything, and no one was paying particular attention to her, it would just seem that she was extraordinarily fast, not using a legendary sealing technique.

To be fair, what she was doing was weird, even for a technique that had only been used by two other people before.

"Shuriken shadow clone jutsu!"

' _Well, that's a new one,'_ Aiko noted dully, looking up to see the effect. She didn't expect to be impressed. But she was.

"I want that."

A freakish amount of aerial weaponry was suspended in the air. No, not suspended. ' _There's just that many generating,'_ Aiko realized, knees weak with weapon-lust. She wasn't entirely certain if she was mindlessly zoning out, or if it was really glowing with an otherworldly green haze and lasting for like, 3 to 4 seconds. Either way, it probably deserved a full orchestral score and not just Mukade roaring mindlessly under the repetitive 'shunk-shunk-shunk' of hundreds of small impacts. _'I need that. If I don't get that, I'm going to be forever sad.'_

"Minatoooo," she called in the same cutesy voice Naruto had copied for his sexy no jutsu, aiming her best puppy eyes at him. He looked mildly alarmed, turning to face her even as the last of the green light tingeing his yellow hair faded and Mukade lurched backward and knocked into the brickwork. It was probably the first time he'd heard her sound remotely appealing or less than professional.

' _Not even worried about Mukade. He is just an over-jumped Chuunin. Infinite chakra hasn't made him a better shinobi. Any two of us could probably thump him if he'd stop regenerating.'_

"I don't think we have time to talk," Minato demurred, looking mildly flustered.

She shook her head, letting her ponytail and bangs flop cutely. "No, stop." She paused deliberately and pouted, clasping her fingers in front of her chest. "Collaborate. Please, please, _please_ show me that again. I want that so badly. I've been good."

Minato was flabbergasted.

"Beg later," Yamato grunted, clapping his hands together and drawing them apart. When they were about a foot apart, a spark of green appeared in the center—and then exploded into brown tendrils and a gigantic column of wood that he rather unceremoniously swung around to knock Mukade's legs out from under him. Naruto giggled.

"I can do you one better, Captain Yamato!"

That was about when Naruto summoned two clones: one to deflect attacks while he was preoccupied, and one to help him mold a Rasengan.

Minato looked like he'd just crapped his pants out of shock when Naruto barreled forward and planted _his_ personal jutsu into what would have been the heart on the massive puppet construction. Then a heart-stoppingly handsome grin spread across his face, even though Naruto cried out in dismay when the jutsu wasn't powerful enough to put Mukade down, getting clipped by the massive hand that moved to bat him away in the instant when Naruto was within reach before jumping back. At least he caught himself and landed safely, immediately readying to leap at Mukade again.

Minato was still staring, looking like he'd just seen the essence of all that was good in the world.

' _He's sure now,'_ Aiko concluded, feeling nothing at the thought instead of envious and possessive as she had predicted. ' _He's sure Naruto is his son, and he's happy.'_

As he should be, frankly. And… And Naruto deserved that, though he looked a bit stunned at the grin when he turned at Minato's voice.

"Naruto! I have a better idea. Come here, and make another one."

The teen gave Minato a look that implied he hadn't been paying attention. "Why? It didn't work."

He curled up the corners of his mouth to turn his grin catlike and held up a single hand, filling it with a Rasengan of his own chakra. It was bizarrely… green, for a jutsu that Aiko had always associated with Naruto's blue chakra. Curious, she kept an eye on them in between dodging the decreasing number of individual puppets. Shibi had discovered that he could drain them of chakra and prevent Mukade from using them again, but he had to leave kikai insects on them and deplete his arsenal. He'd dropped from the fight against the main opponent accordingly and let the people with the big, destructive jutsu pound him again and again. He was much more useful against the regular puppets outside of Mukade's direct control.

"Ultimate Supreme Rasengan!"

It was beautiful, a tumultuous mix of blue and green. Her jaw dropped, but not at the massive chakra construct that roared from father and son to just Naruto.

' _That is by far the stupidest name I have ever heard.'_

Her eyes met with Yamato's. He looked just as horrified as she felt. Maybe more, since he had a lot of respect for the guy. His cheeks turned pink with the effort of restraining what was probably laughter.

As one, every puppet that their opponent had been controlling fell limp, clattering over the floor when Mukade devoted all of his efforts to one issue. Naruto held it above his head like a beacon for a moment, letting the entire thing wreathe him in a spinning pillar of mixed light before he lowered it and sprinted for the weak spot where Mukade's second form was still visible. "Supreme Rasengan!" He called, and put Mukade down for what might be the last time.

' _Yamato is probably too polite to laugh openly at the Fourth Hokage._ ' Aiko let out an unrestrained, barking laugh and felt her cheeks hurt with amusement. The laugh turned to a sniffling giggle exacerbated by the adrenaline rush, and she crossed her arms over her gut as if to hold in the laugh. It didn't work.

"I don't mean to critique your performance, little brother," Aiko gasped, bending over and pushing a fist into her knee, outright crying with hysterical laughter. She didn't notice Minato jerk and let his jaw drop, mouthing the words, 'little brother' to himself. "But you forgot the 'Ultimate' part!" She outright howled, and shook her head. "and you, Minato. Ultimate supreme Rasengan?" she asked incredulously, stumbling over the words as she rudely pointed at him. "I think that name made me a little dumber through exposure. You may as well-" she cut herself off and took a breath. Intentionally, she lowered her tone to mock in a tone as close to Minato's as possible and set her hands on her hips, " _Most bestest awesome Rasengan_! Super cool badass Rasengan! Why the hell not?"

Minato turned faintly pink and let the remnant chakra he'd built to contribute to the technique fade, still standing over the fallen criminal. "It was a split second thing," he protested weakly, looking slightly broken and baffled. "I had to call it something."

"You, uh." Yamato cleared his throat, and manfully offered, "You could just not shout something that one time and name it later."

"Heathens," Naruto said scornfully, letting his clone dissipate. "That's a great name!" He tried to scowl, but was too busy grinning for the expression to really work. "I'm going to rename all my techniques that way!"

A snort of an undignified high pitch of indeterminate meaning escaped Yamato's clenched lips at that point.

' _Wow, Minato is just a big kid. That's definitely a childish name. It wouldn't have been at all out of character for one of the Academy students to shout something like that while playing ninja.'_

For the first time, she realized that at this point in time, he wasn't really that much older than she was. He was somewhere from 19 to 22, probably.

She glanced at him. For some bizarre reason, he was staring at Kakashi as though he'd never seen him before, or he'd just committed some personal betrayal. God, what a weird guy.

Strangely, she found that charming. It was nice to see that Minato was just human. He was powerful and intelligent, but also a bit of a dweeb. Maybe that was where Naruto had gotten his fondness for dramatics. He didn't seem baffled by the frankly terrible name at all.

And that was when Mukade jerked back to life. The behemoth gave a horrible groan that shook the rubble on the ground and pounded its fists into the ground twice before pushing itself up, swaying sideways.

At the top, partially exposed by the damage, was the face of their real opponent. He looked absolutely unhinged at this point.

' _Head injury when they knocked him down?'_ Aiko deduced _. 'The puppet is nearly indestructible, not his body, and it's not like it is properly padded. That blow probably really shook him up.'_

It would have been a convenient time for him to decide to end this farce. He didn't even seem capable of using his smaller puppets anymore, which left him so outnumbered that he was just going to get bashed down again and again until the internal bleeding did him in if nothing else. But that could take quite a while, and someone might get hurt.

' _Maybe it's time to go to plan B.'_

* * *

Sasuke bared his teeth in a feral war-cry and felt the strangely chill desert air cool his face in the instant before he brought his foot down on the puppet that had just tried to cut their group off, sending it into an actual impact crater before the shatter-resistant material finally gave up with a groan and crumpled inwards. "Keep moving!" he called, voice lower and raspier than usual from the particles he'd breathed in that scraped at his throat. Through the dust, he darted around the struggling caravan, trusting Sara to lead them while he picked off any non-living thing that got too close. Since the highest authority was watching, he made a half-assed attempt to limit the property damage, but to some extent, Sara was just going to have to deal and be grateful for her life.

' _And that of her people,'_ he noted grimly _. 'Few of them as there are.'_

Either there were many more people interred in similar facilities across the city, or the thousands of people that had occupied this city had really been reduced to something like a hundred and fifty.

' _Not my problem right now.'_ He spared a moment to extract the rubble that was pressing into the bloody gashes on his knuckles and seal the cuts with an easy wave of chakra. ' _We've done enough. Sara can deal with the aftermath. Namikaze's team might even help them._ '

Team Yamato wouldn't be around, after all. He didn't even think about the possibility that they would fail to go home. Aiko was too damn stubborn and pig-headed to even accept it as an option in theory, as far as he could tell. He wasn't going to be the one to intimate there was a reason to doubt it. It wasn't that he was intimidated by her, of course. The concept was singularly unpalatable to him as well. If he stayed here, he was going to have to watch his clan be killed again. Traitors or not, the idea of seeing a living Uchiha and knowing that he couldn't change events was enough to make him feel sick to his gut.

It was better to treat this as another mission and just move forward. This situation seemed like an unparalleled opportunity, but Sasuke smelt a lie. Nothing could ever come that easily. How much worse would it be to stay, attempt to fix events to his liking, and find that he either made things worse or that Aiko was correct about events being self-correcting? It would drive anyone mad. No, there was nothing for them here.

' _No matter how suspiciously similar Naruto looks like the Fourth Hokage,'_ he noted with a scoff, ripping a puppet's clean head off. ' _And isn't that interesting? The jinchuuriki looks like a lab specimen made from the man who sealed the Kyuubi. How did no one figure out that connection?'_ He grunted and wiped a bit of sweat off his brow, noting that the group appeared to be in the clear. No more enemies were appearing. They were in the final stretch now, most of the civilians piling in through some sort of odd gate.

"It's stuck!"

' _I don't know, if only you had a superhuman shinobi with you who you've actually seen toss thousand pound puppets, you might be able to open it. Oh well, I suppose you should just push futilely at it yourself and cry that it's not working,_ ' he mocked internally, instead moving to push Sara's hands aside and push the stone plate that would activate the gate himself. It immediately started grinding and opening with multiple sets of plate doors from the sides and above.

A ragged cheer came up from the assorted group behind them, stumbling and rushing inward to safety.

"Sasuke-san, would you help them in?"

He rolled his eyes, but shunshined inside the dark, dank little sanctuary that Sara had brought them to. There was a definite sort of stillness in the air. To help prevent turned ankles, he used a tiny puff of fire from his lips to light a candle from the protruding stone that served as crude shelves and handed it off to one of the more capable looking women nearby. He was moving to investigate a particularly sickly-looking sore on one of the men they'd rescued when a murmur of discontent traveled through the crowd.

"Princess!" Someone called out in mild distress from the crowd of civilians in the closing rock garden.

' _The gate is closing. Why is the gate closing?'_

Sara's face was outlined in shadow, the sun at her back. "I need to do what I can," she said firmly. "It's my duty to protect my people. Please, stay here, and be safe! Sasuke-san, I'm trusting you with my people." Her voice was firm, and she looked more regal than she ever had before.

' _Mother, I'm going to make you proud, and protect our city,'_ Sara thought.

The wall began to grind shut with an awful racket. Sasuke slowly raised an eyebrow, flickered behind the girl who had thought to lock him in the rock garden, and effortlessly pushed her inside before stepping in himself, hands already stuffed in his pockets and slouching boredly. The room was shrouded in near darkness and awkwardly silent as the last hole to the outside was shut off.

"I don't appreciate the theatrics," he said dryly, voice echoing slightly. "You're a civilian. You're exponentially more likely to get someone killed running to protect you than do any real good outside." The others in the room were dead silent, probably pretending they weren't listening to their queen get scolded.

"But I'm the only one who can interact with the chakra!" she cried out, eyes wide with distress and her hands on her hips. "How can Mukade be stopped, if he can just keep regenerating?"

"The others will figure something out," he sighed, silently cursing this irritating girl. At this point in time, he would gladly trade her for three copies of Yamanaka Ino. "That's their job, and it's insulting for you to presume you can do it better with no training or qualifications whatsoever. Don't whine. If you intend to actually rule and not just be used by unscrupulous strangers to abuse your people by the hundreds, maybe you should sit quietly in a corner for a while and think about what it actually means to be responsible for the lives of hundreds of other people." With scathing sarcasm, he added that, "I've never been queen myself, but I suspect that it doesn't mean charging out on some _half-cocked_ heroic mission that would probably leave them leaderless and you dead in a ditch."

Tsunade had always been a proponent of the tough love school of thought, and Sara looked like she needed a swift dose of reality. She was a smart girl, but the proper reaction to finding out that you'd been tricked into endangering the people you cared about was not to endanger them in search of revenge you weren't even qualified to get.

Minato had been right. It would be best if they convinced her to seal off the well of chakra so it couldn't be used by someone unscrupulous again. But he'd only accept that it had to be done _now_ if Aiko came and got them on Yamato or Minato's orders after reassessing the situation.

* * *

"This isn't working," Yamato muttered under his breath as the monstrous form Mukade had taken picked itself back up and then spontaneously grew a spiked tail like a scorpion for no apparent reason. Levity aside, if the combined efforts of Minato and Naruto (two heavy hitters if he'd ever seen one) wouldn't put Mukade down, then he hadn't been lying about having nearly limitless power as long as he could steal from Rouran's supply. They couldn't eliminate the threat he posed without removing his access to the chakra well he was siphoning. The easiest way to do that would be to let Aiko grab him and Hiraishin him out of city limits. Of course, she would need a seal to travel to, either his or Naruto's, since Sasuke had already been sent away somewhere they definitely did not need to send the missing nin… He raised his voice into a sharp order. "Naruto! I want you to head out the East Gate, it's closest. Kakashi, accompany him."

The bafflement of the other team was apparent, but he didn't feel the need to explain his plan. They'd understand in a minute.

He could have gone himself, but there had to be two teams. Aiko could take Mukade away from his power source, but he would still have to be fought to the point of exhaustion in order to be killed. She could hardly do that alone. But whoever remained here would have to stall and keep Mukade from causing more harm than necessary until Naruto passed the limits of the chakra well, something even an amateur sage would be better equipped to gauge than he. He hoped, at least.

' _Besides, I'm more equipped to stall than Naruto is. He goes all out, and that would be wasted here._ '

That would make four people against Mukade until he and the two ANBU members could catch up. At least, if Minato had the sense to travel to the seal he'd given Naruto, it would.

Despite not understanding what was going on, the other team leader seemed to decide they must have a decent plan. When Kakashi turned to Minato for orders (reminding him that this kid didn't know him or trust him as a comrade yet) the blonde nodded. "Go with him."

"Ugh, really?" Naruto cancelled his clones and jumped over a poisoned blade from one of the hundreds of puppets swarming like maggots. "We'll kick so much ass that you old people won't believe it. Come on, chibi-kashi!"

"What are you talking about?" the preteen grouched, giving Minato one last resentful look as if hoping the older blonde would change his mind and take back the order to follow Naruto.

"I'll come with," Aiko offered, falling in. She wasn't much use in that fight anyways. Three would have an easier time getting out than two, after all, and she could instantly travel back to Yamato to get Mukade once they'd gotten out of city limits. Besides, she would know when they were far enough this way without having to flicker to Naruto and check. It was probably for the best that Mukade didn't know that they were going to take him away from his battery. He'd work much harder to put them down if he knew that was possible.

"What are they doing?" Minato called out, using another barrage of his shuriken shadow clones to push Mukade back and keep him from pursuing the younger team.

Yamato shrugged, before realizing that the older man couldn't see him. "I can't explain right now, but you'll want to go to Naruto. You'll know when."

Minato gave him a skeptical look, but just indulged himself in one last look at the backs of his kids.

His kids.

It was probably an inappropriate time to feel as good as he did at that moment, but he couldn't help it. A grin split his features, which was probably a bit creepy when he was engaged in a fight for his life. ' _I get to have a family. Does this mean that Kushina really is serious? I don't see how else I could get a red-headed daughter.'_

That brought up another can of worms, of course. His protective instincts weren't entirely certain if the 15 year old needed to be given a stern talking-to for apparently ending up with someone he only knew as a 9 year old, or if Kakashi needed to be disciplined for his alarming decision to start a relationship with his daughter.

' _Then again, he's not going to ever try to sneak around me,'_ Minato mused, considering the possibilities. ' _That would cut down on teenage shenanigans.'_

* * *

"What is going on?" Kakashi half-shouted, his high pitched voice clearly irritable about leaving the fight.

"You'll see," Naruto grinned, heady with anticipation.

"Close your mouths and run, gentlemen," Aiko drawled, trying to slip out of her unprofessional good mood and into business mode. She wasn't worried, precisely. Naruto and Kakashi were both excellent shinobi and might be able to take Mukade down even if she wasn't there. Still, the responsible thing to do would be to focus.

The Hiraishin barely needed to be thought about. No matter how big his stupid puppet was, she could move it. There didn't seem to be any significant connection between mass and effort, now that she was doing the damn technique properly.

But what would come after? She didn't want to depend on one of the boys whipping out something massively destructive and just sit back to watch. Aiko wasn't a transportation system, she was formidable shinobi in her own right and the idea of counting on someone else to fight her battles galled.

Sen Tsurara would be acceptable, but not nearly as destructive as the poorly-named-but-epic Ultimate Super Awesome Badassness Rasengan or whatever the hell it was. If that combined technique hadn't actually put him down, hers surely wouldn't, and it took several seconds to regenerate anyways.

No, she would be better off planting explosives. Probably explosives attached to Hiraishin, since those could be detonated from any distance and not simply a crude timer or block detonation like the other explosives she knew how to make. It would require that she get in rather close to all that awful spinning, poisoned weaponry, but then again, so would pretty much everything in her arsenal with significant firepower at all. She'd just have to not get hit.

"We're out," Naruto barked, skidding to a stop. "Be ready to dodge, chibi-chan." Kakashi made a thoroughly revolted face and opened his mouth to say something biting.

Aiko didn't hear it, because she was gripping Yamato's arm to steady herself against the shaking of the ground in the area where she'd left the fight against Mukade. Well, not the exact location, but there was an easy to see trail showing where the rampage had wandered.

"Holy shi-"

"Shibi!" Choza interrupted, face pink. "That's not appropriate in front of a lady."

She gave him a look askance, but refrained from commenting that she was hardly a lady. "I'll see you boys in a minute," Aiko called out with more bravado than she felt, flipping and dodging around the flying rubble and chakra strings to latch onto the end of Mukade's scorpion tail thing. It was probably the fastest piece of the puppet, and therefore the one he was most likely be able to hit her with. The last thing she saw before she laid her palms flat against Mukade and latched on with her chakra was Minato's wide blue eyes. _Ha_. Aiko had to close her own eyes to concentrate, select Naruto's seal, and pull Mukade's grotesque puppet body all the way outside of Rouran's city limits, well away from the ventilation system he'd been feeding off of.

Apparently, Mukade wasn't one of the people who felt dazed by unwilling Hiraishin travel, because the tail she was latched onto cracked like a whip, sending her flying along for the ride, concentrating on clutching desperately for just a second. Just one.

That was all it took. A splitting pain registered before the visible light of the thin chakra strings that had emerged from one of the joints in the puppet did. She lost her grip on the tail, letting her momentum carry her limply up and at an angle away from Mukade's bulk. Aiko might have completely blacked out for a moment, because the next thing she knew was the ground rushing up to meet her with monster truck force.

' _That is going pulp me like an orange,_ ' Aiko realized without the necessary alarm that should accompany that kind of realization. Somehow she managed to grip Naruto's tag and lurch into the ground at his feet, coughing up blood, hot and metallic in her mouth.

Dazed, she looked down. It was a wonder that the five strings that had connected with her torso hadn't knocked her off the puppet on their own.

' _I suppose it's that Uzumaki constitution and chakra I have to thank,_ ' she blinked stupidly, letting the hand that wasn't supporting her ghost over the five bloody lines gashed across her torso at a severe angle that opened a relatively thin set of slashes that covered the area from her right hip to her left shoulder. Her own chakra must have neutralized Mukade's as soon as it properly clashed. If it hadn't dissolved them, the strings would have sliced her like a cheese grater.

' _Well, that's embarrassing,_ ' she noted, blinking back tears of pain. This was nothing. This was just a distraction. The cuts were so thin, and her constitution was so good that she had no excuse to lie down and die. Of course, her agility was going to be shot all to hell, and 'not being where the other guy hits' was her main strength in taijutsu.

New plan.

Mukade's machine was made of a light weight but durable organic material. One built to function in the arid desert.

It wouldn't do well with water.

Oddly, she didn't register hearing a thing. The world was moving in slow motion. Naruto was wreathed in a horrific red light, eyes feral and nails extended to points. Kakashi was dodging something that looked terrifyingly like a blast from a science fiction plasma cannon. Minato had suddenly appeared at Naruto's side and lurched backwards.

And she dug deep within herself, opened her mouth, and wordlessly, signlessly, took a steadying breath and forced up a massive ball of lurching, angry chakra into a powerful spigot of nearly freezing water. It impacted Mukade's machine slightly above the rapidly spinning hula hoop contraption, making a mushy impact crater that squished the clay up into concentric circles. The violent upswell practically pulled her insides up with mind-blowing force, and her teeth clacked shut. For a moment, her vision was white. When it came back, her body was already going through the motions to pick up the water dripping off Mukade's puppet body and throw it back at him, forcing it between the joints, turning it to a slimy mess and reducing his maneuverability.

' _There's still no sound,_ ' she noted idly, eyes heavy. It was a bit hard to tell, because the rushing in her ears could have been moving water, but it wasn't.

A wave of searing hot chakra hit her like a wall, and she flung her hands up to protect her face. That let it connect with her torso unabated and bubble into the open cuts that made her top downright indecent, even slicing through the gray half-mask slumped around her neck like a stretchy cowl for a time when she'd need anonymity. The thick straps for her sword still clung together, but her knapsack was a completely lost cause. It had hit the dirt behind her.

The chakra seemed to have been coming from Naruto. Apparently she had more hearing than she had realized, because she could hear Mukade screaming.

The world was tilting.

Only a few moments ago, the sun had been above and to her left. It was quickly listing above head and now to her right.

But she never hit the ground. The world was a bit blurry from a combination of what was probably shock and abrupt chakra drain, but she managed to make out a wild mane of yellow hair and a strong jaw. Relieved, she let her body collapse and registered Minato's scent for the first time. It was nice and comforting- masculine and with more than a hint of weapon polish. "Daddy," Aiko sighed, curling her fingers into his flak jacket and nudging her head into his side.

She came to with a stinging in her eyes, and her first reflex was to swat violently at the man hovering above her. "Don't," Sasuke tersely said through his teeth, releasing her wrist and gently hooking two fingers under her jaw to check her pulse. "You really have no sense for restraint."

"Nggggh." She groaned, baring her teeth mindlessly at him and attempting to pull away from the brisk check-up she was getting.

"You'll be fine, you whiner." Sasuke flicked her nose with two fingers a little painfully. Aiko whimpered and crossed her eyes, a hand flying up to protect it from another blow.

"You're mean. A mean man," she accused, sitting up. There was a horrible pain under her eyes, but everything else felt pretty functional. A little beat up and weary, but functional. "What happened?"

"Not much, you've only been out a couple of moments. It was just shock and you were already healing up." Sasuke's dark eyes flickered over to the left. She followed them to see Naruto sitting beside Minato and talking quietly. She managed a smile.

"That's good. Mukade's dead, then?"

Sasuke grunted. "No. Not yet." When she turned an alarmed look at him, he deigned to explain, "Namikaze thinks that we'll be whisked away as soon as he's dead. Mukade is unconscious and immobilized. Just to make sure there are no more screw-ups."

"Oh." Aiko looked around, realizing for the first time that they were back within Rouran. Only out for a few minutes, her ass. Well. Unless Minato had taken everyone back, she supposed. That was possible.

"Ah, I see you're awake." Minato was almost offensively cheery, giving Naruto a sturdy clap on the shoulder. Kakashi looked more than a bit sullen about having to share the attention, but didn't say anything. "There's just a few more things to take care of. Princess Sara and I have the chakra ley lines stabilized and sealed. Mukade is ready to go—you'll need his head for the bounty, right?" At Yamato's amiable nod, he forged on. "Alright. The last thing is the most important. Too much knowledge of the future could change the past, and we can't allow that to happen. I want to use a secret jutsu that will lock those memories away."

"No deal!" Aiko blurted, eyes wide with alarm. ' _I do not want anyone else fucking around with my head.'_

Apparently, he hadn't expected objections. Which was insane! Who would allow that without so much as a second thought?

Apparently, everyone else here would, if the Fourth Hokage was the one who suggested it. A little bit of bile rose up. "Look, assuming that your argument holds water and that it's even _possible_ to change the past, there's absolutely no reason for you to use that jutsu on anyone who is going back to the future. It won't matter for any of us." Aiko gestured at her team.

Minato looked a bit unnerved by her vehemence, but conceded the point. "I didn't think of it that way. I wasn't planning on permanently sealing away the memories, in any case," he explained soothingly. "Just suppressing them for a set time period. How long should that be?"

Aiko gave him a watery smile, thankful that he'd dropped the subject. "Oh, say… Nineteen years and eight months. Approximately," she calculated, thinking back to the newspaper date she'd checked when they'd first left Rouran.

He rolled his eyes, and mockingly echoed, "Approximately. Right."

It actually was approximate. She wasn't going to count days.

"You're really going?" Sara asked quietly, staring at Naruto like he had all the answers to the universe. "But…"

"You'll be fine," Sasuke gruffly interrupted, turning his face away. Naruto companionably punched him in the shoulder.

"For once, he's right," Naruto smiled, carelessly and for once looking handsome and adult instead of adorable. "You're going to be a great queen, Sara. And I bet we'll meet again one day."

' _No, you won't. She probably dies in a couple of years. Why are you lying to yourselves?'_

"Not to rush this, but I think we should take care of this before he wakes up," Yamato pointed out with a self- effacing laugh, indicating Mukade. "He was troublesome enough the first time. I don't really like the idea of letting him realize he can grab onto chakra again, even if the source is sealed off."

"You're probably right," Minato sighed. "Well. I suppose this is goodbye, for now." He regarded them warmly. "I'll be forgetting you, technically, but I bet by the time you get back to Konoha, we'll have a lot to talk about."

It was a damn good thing he wasn't looking at Naruto, because Aiko had a much better poker face.

"Who wants the honors?" Shibi droned, sounding uninterested. He probably wanted to go home, too.

"I'll do it," Yamato sighed. "I had hoped to return him alive to be tried, but clearly that's not possible." With a meaty thud, he separated Mukade's head and quickly worked to tuck it into the sealing scroll prepared for that purpose.

' _Duh, he's a missing ninja. Of course he refused to be taken alive. Gaara wasn't asking you to bring him back to Suna for tea and gossip.'_

She didn't say anything like that, of course.

"What do you know, I think you were right, old man," Aiko huffed, looking down at her hands. They were turning a translucent blue that was a bit creepy, really.

"Old man?" Minato scrunched up his nose—in oh god, that was the way that she and Naruto both made that motion—and looked miffed. "I'm not old at a-"

Wait a minute. That bastard!

"Wait!" she interrupted, waving aside his boring denials of his obviously decrepit state. "You never taught me that shadow shuriken jutsu show me the handsigns quick!" Aiko ran her words together, trying to get it all out in time as she rapidly faded from intransience.

It was already too late. The last Minato ever saw of her, Aiko was giving him a stink-eye that any father could be proud of.

* * *

Author's Note

I received a review and pm pretty early arguing that the characterization in the line where Aiko verbally acknowledges Minato as her dad is off. I thought that this person probably won't be the only one to think so, so I'm adding my explanation below.

It didn't come out of nowhere at all- since the first time she mentioned her negative assessment of Minato and Kushina, the implication has always been that she's not as detached as she wants to think she is: she says he's 'just family' in the sense that Karin might be and not a parental figure, but what's actually happening is that she resents that he didn't fulfill what she saw as the parental contract he owed his kids (both outright stated and implied in multiple chapters, including the next one). In the chapter where that was exposed (or the one after?) one of Kakashi's POVs makes the note that her behavior is actually textbook for someone who feels abandoned by their parent.

Aiko doesn't see it that way, of course, but I haven't hidden that she's an unreliable narrator from the start. If she really didn't care in the way she claims, being offered the Rasengan wouldn't have been a red-button issue for her. She might have rolled her eyes, but she would probably have taken the offered powerup without complaint. One of her primary drives throughout the entire story has been her ideals about family and desire for one, even if she doesn't know how to have the satisfying relationships that she wants.

A large part of her resentment is tied to her rather hasty condemnation of a really disorienting memory of one specific incident, and she made a lot of character assessments extrapolated from very little data, as well as the claim that she doesn't really have anything in common with Minato. Over the last three chapters, there've been maybe fifteen instances where it was mentioned that Minato or Kushina displayed a behavioral pattern very similar to hers and Naruto's like a physical tic, speech habit, or actual personality quirk (indicating that she was wrong about their differences) or where she re-assessed her judgment of Minato to be far more favorable. Most of them aren't consciously noted, but that doesn't mean that Aiko shouldn't subconsciously pick up at least some of them.

I disagree that she suddenly changed her position and undermined her characterization with weak, wishy-washy beliefs. Weak beliefs aren't the same as beliefs that change when you get an influx of data that contradicts your previous position. Aiko doesn't necessarily consciously realize that she wants parental figures, in large part because it's easier not to think about that when you can never have the option. Suddenly meeting her long-dead parents in the flesh should make her think about her assessments and dismissals, even if she's not entirely comfortable with them.


	79. Chapter 79

Aiko was the only one who didn't hit her ass on the ground with a thump in the next moment when they all found themselves in slightly different locations. "Ha!" She snickered, pointing at Sasuke's dumb expression.

"Nnnnnng?"

Well, that was a familiar whine. Aiko dropped to her knees and gathered Mitsuo up in a hug when he bounded over to her, burying her nose in his nape and inhaling that wonderful, comforting, doggy smell.

"Let's go home, guys," Naruto sighed, voice sounding a little scratchy but pleased. "Just think, the next we know, we'll be relaxing in Konoha."

They hightailed it the hell out of those ruins, not even noting that Rouran should have been more decrepit. Rouran was considerably worse than it had been twenty years prior, and there didn't seem to be a terrible difference between a city that had been destroyed and abandoned for fifteen years and a city that had been resettled as a base for a small amount of survivors and partially repaired over the course of just two years after that same destruction.

Mitsuo didn't bother to inform them that there were people around inside to avoid the heat of day—they'd already run into those civilians and talked to them in the days while they were waiting to ambush Mukade, after all. Remnants of stubborn survivors who had refused to abandon their ancestral home after the initial danger had passed, apparently. He hadn't been that interested.

* * *

' _Of course that was too good to be true. Just having Naruto say something jinxes it.'_

"You have got to be fucking kidding me."

For once, the crudity wasn't coming from an Uzumaki. Yamato looked just about ready to cry from frustration at having trouble on what had promised to be a simple trip home after an unexpectedly complicated mission, but after a moment a steely expression shuttered over his face. "Those are our allies. We are obligated to lend assistance. Aiko, I want you to get Naruto out at the first sign of trouble. Stay back, since you're not in top form. I want you boys to work together and watch each other's backs. Alright Sasuke, Naruto?"

He paused, waiting for the acknowledgement that wasn't going to come because the blond had already taken off at a sprint for the little mob where two Akatsuki seemed to be tangling with a team from Mist. Or rather, half a team. One man was fighting with a blonde-haired woman, and the other was stomping a slight figure into the ground, laughing all the while.

"Get away from him!" Naruto roared, gaining a visible reddish tint to his aura and moving on a straight path for the light-haired enemy torturing a boy half his size. He immediately forced the Akatsuki back, with -oh kami, had he really managed to weaponize shadow clones to explode? She cringed a little at the sheer destruction it would have resulted in anywhere else. Here, it just blew up an enormous spray of searing hot sand that showered them even from twenty feet away.

"Is that their-" Sasuke began to ask in an undertone, dark eyes focused on the other mist nin.

"Yepp," Aiko cut him off grimly, eyes flickering to the struggling teenager who was on the verge of panic, curled on the ground bleeding. Panic was an understandable reaction to being pursued by S class criminals, of course, but it was much more alarming than usual when the boy in question was a jinchuuriki. "Assist Naruto, would you? Do not let him get cut. That man with the scythe is bad news."

He moved to Naruto, but Aiko had already flickered to Shinji's side and laboriously flipped him over onto his back to check his vitals and his seal to be sure that everything seemed stable.

As if he were paying attention to their conversation, the man who could only be Hidan gave a whooping laugh, jumping straight over Naruto's opening blow when he tried to turn their match to taijutsu. A terrible sharp joy was contorting his features to something grotesque and beautiful.

He wasn't particularly fast, though that mattered little when he only had to have one hit to have a killing blow.

"Oh pretty girls, I'm flattered to hear you gossip about me!"

Apparently, Hidan had bat ears like Kakashi. And he thought Sasuke was pretty.

' _To be fair… He's probably prettier than I am. He's prettier than everyone, the bastard.'_

"Actually, your information is pretty fucking good," the man panted, pushing his way closer to where she was standing even as Sasuke joined in and began harassing him, controlling the distance by darting around and trying to trap the older man with a virtual spider-web of conductive wires attached to shuriken. Hidan was momentarily tangled, but slogged close enough to shout at her despite the bleed freely flowing down his legs while Sasuke leapt back and ran through a very familiar series of handsigns. Naruto's eyes widened, and he scurried backwards himself.

"How'd you know that, bitch? Did you come to hear the word of Jashin? I never fuck a heathen, but if you're looking to con- Agh-!"

"That's always so anticlimactic," she mumbled, shading her eyes to check the identity of the enormous invertebrate plopped on top of an S class douchebag. "Is dropping your summons on someone really an approved technique, or is Sasuke just intentionally fucking with us all?"

"I see that we are done here," Hidan's partner called out, leaping backwards away from his fight with Yamato and the mist captain. He sounded entirely too pleased. "I am off to mourn my recently deceased comrade, since I cannot win this fight and take his corpse back from you."

An enraged scream emerged faintly from underneath the bulk of Katsuya's body, making her jolt in shock and give her tummy a quizzical look.

' _Oh god, this is embarrassing. Is he really taking the opportunity to leave this guy in hopes that we kill him?'_

Yes. Yes, he was. Hidan must be annoying as all hell.

"Is… he going to die?" The woman heading the Mist team wandered just close enough to give the furious screaming coming from under Katsuya's bulk an unnerved look. "Shouldn't that have broken every bone in his body?"

"Yes, that'll slow him down for a while," Aiko agreed mildly, wandering closer to Sasuke's summons now that she knew the three-tailed beast wasn't about to be released on the countryside. "I think that someone should grab his scythe quickly when Katsuya-sama leaves. But don't actually touch it," she stressed. "I'm pretty sure it's dangerous."

Yamato gave her a look that implied she must have hit her head when he wasn't watching, meandering over while rotating his wrist. "You're talking like he's going to get up."

She shrugged. "You never know," was her philosophical bullshit answer.

Sasuke looked appalled when Katsuya disappeared and Hidan wasn't completely pulped. "That makes no sense," he protested flatly, giving Hidan's struggling, gurgling body a disapproving stare. "Medically, that's absolutely impossible. I refuse to allow it. Naruto, Rasengan his head off."

"Yes, yes, queen Sasuke," Naruto snickered, calling up a clone and cocking his hip casually to let it work at shaping the swell of chakra he called forth. The pressure built and built until he quirked a savage little smile (he really wasn't a fan of anyone in a black and red cloak) and sprinted the last few meters to crouch and shove his hand through the mass that had been attached to a body struggling to get up. He aimed for the bulk of the skull, pulping the brain but leaving the jaw and throat merely sliced to hell (the jaw actually cut into three pieces that let it fall apart like a peeled orange).

Aiko felt strangely proud. He'd never even seen a zombie movie (to her knowledge, though he might have been left unsupervised and able to access late-night programs when she wasn't paying attention at some point) but he clearly knew that he should aim for the control center. Nothing with more intelligence than a chicken could hope to live without their brain to issue orders to the body.

"I think that did it," Yamato deadpanned at the mess. It had stopped struggling at least.

Aiko frowned thoughtfully. _'Is that really it? I thought this guy was supposed to be too tough to kill. I wish I knew how that happened in the manga.'_ In the end, all she could do was shrug. "Looks pretty dead to me. Anyone mind if I light it up?"

Couldn't hurt to be certain, after all.

The woman from Mist scowled. "This was our fight," she began to argue, before Yamato gently cut her off.

"I apologize, but our treaty does compel us to lend assistance, and at least one of them is dead now," he pointed out practically. "I would offer you the head as a good will measure, but seeing as how he didn't want to die otherwise…" he trailed off politely.

She sighed, giving the Konoha team as a whole a tired look. "I suppose you're right. It's just a bit frustrating to fight them for half an hour and have nothing to show for it but the bloodstains that used to be my second." Her expression was pinched in a way that Aiko just now recognized as suppressed grief.

Immediately, the light hearted atmosphere changed. "I'm sorry we were too late for your teammates," Naruto apologized solemnly, turning up to meet her eyes. "We didn't mean to belittle that loss."

They shared a gaze for a moment. Then the woman grunted softly and turned to gather her remaining team member up. "I don't care anymore. Burn him, bury him, take him home and feed him to your dogs. Whatever."

"I think the dogs would get sick," Aiko muttered in an aside to Sasuke. He gave her a disapproving expression and turned away.

' _Apparently now is not the time for observations like that.'_

Fair enough.

' _God, how are those two going to get home?'_ She cringed. Sasuke looked like he was thinking about offering to provide medical support, but that might not be enough to really be doing right by their allies. The mist team was still weakened and vulnerable, as well as far from home. Were they done with whatever mission they'd been on and had been caught on the way home, or were they still under contract to take care of something?

' _Oh. Duh. If they are going home, there's an obvious solution.'_

"Er- actually, just a moment!" Aiko called out as the woman moved to laboriously support Shinji's weight enough for them to leave.

' _I probably should have thought of this already.'_

"Where are you two going? Back to Mist, or…?" she trailed off, tilting her head questioningly.

Shinji stared at her for a moment, blinking gummily. His captain's eyes were hard and she looked like she wanted to scowl, but for some reason she reluctantly shared, "We need to return home."

' _Well, that answer conspicuously didn't mention whether or not their mission was already done or what it is, but it makes sense. She doesn't seem enthused about trusting us.'_

Still, the offer should be made. "Would you like a ride home?" Aiko suggested guilelessly. "I could get you two to the Mizukage much more quickly than you can travel on your own."

Yamato slapped a hand to his head without bothering to muffle the noise. She could practically hear him moping that she shouldn't be voluntarily offering to share sensitive information with foreigners.

Aiko made a disapproving face and turned to him. "If I didn't offer," she started reproachfully, "The Mizukage would know about the slight when they got back and mentioned our team. Besides, Shinji already knows."

Her captain's eye twitched. Probably wondering why she was on first name terms with a Mist nin he'd never met before. She just rolled her eyes and turned back to the bemused mist nin who had been watching the interchange.

"Er." The woman glanced down at Shinji, and seemed to come to a realization. She paled. "Um. Are you-. I mean, you must be…"

Sasuke managed to give Aiko a look that implied she had managed to locate an absolute lunatic. The woman seemed petrified of her for some reason. Normally, she might have given a shrug in return, but she ignored him. The Mist Jounin looked intimidated enough already without being visibly mocked. "Yes?" she prodded patiently.

Despite looking like he'd been pounded into the ground, Shinji managed to roll his eyes. "Yes, Morino-sensei, this is the big scary seal master."

' _This is a first. Are seal masters really so intimidating?'_

Aiko kept her confusion off her face. "Is there a problem?"

"No." Morino shook her head and plastered on a strained smile. "No problem at all. I would be honored to accept your offer."

' _Okay, this is weird. Two minutes ago she was sniping at us. Does she think I'm going to hold her down and stick a demon in her if she looks away?'_

Morino was doing an excellent job of keeping Aiko in her vision even as Sasuke tugged Shinji away from her to provide field care. Her lurking was anxious enough that it actually made Aiko feel uncomfortable. Sweet, clever Naruto sensed and deflected the tension.

Of course, he did that by recounting the one time he'd met a Mist nin before that, so it wasn't that relaxing for Morino. She didn't seem sure if she wanted to be charmed by his cheery attitude and energy, or convinced that relating the time they'd killed Momochi Zabuza was a veiled insult to mist nin in general or a threat that they could do the same to her.

"Okay, time to go," Yamato interrupted when the story transitioned to something he and Jiraiya had done in Rice Country with a traveling circus. Morino gave him an icy stare that implied she had been enjoying _that_ story.

Unsympathetic, Aiko grabbed Morino to drag her closer to Shinji, then rearranged her posture so that she was sort of one-armed hugging both of them around the waist. "Hold on tight," she warned.

Mildly flattered, she noted, ' _Shinji must trust me. He doesn't seem nervous at all,'_ in the second before Morino gripped her with a good forty pounds too much force around her ribs. _'She, on the other hand, definitely doesn't trust me,'_ Aiko noted, forcing down a pained gasp and a crooked smile at the way Morino was shaking as she yanked on Mei's seal. Yamato's long-suffering face blurred oddly into that of the Mizukage, who was serendipitously in the same position from Aiko's point of view that her captain had been. Morino wheezed sadly and hunched over almost instantly, looking like she was considering being sick. _'You know, traveling this way seems to affect some people much more strongly than others…'_

"Mizukage-sama," Shinji squeaked. Aiko pulled her arms back and he stumbled forward awkwardly, nearly falling into a puddle on the white tile floor.

"Yo." She raised her newly freed hand and gave a smile. "Long time, Mei-neechan."

The two Mist-nin who took orders from 'Mei-neechan' in the room gave her looks of varying levels of horror.

"Hello, Aiko-chan." Mei tilted her head skeptically. "Is there a reason you're here." She paused deliberately. "In my bathroom."

"Not in particular," Aiko assured, glancing down at the luxurious purple towel wrapped around the Mizukage's body. "You look nice with your hair up, though. Should wear it like that more often."

Another girl might have cringed to walk in on a foreign Kage while covered in dirt, blood, and the tattered remains of what had once been a nice shirt. But hey, at least they were indecent together.

"It doesn't dry if I leave it up," Mei replied flatly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm not fit to entertain. May I assume you're here returning those two?" At the confirmatory nod, she gave them an unamused look. "I'll summon you in the morning."

"Yes, ma'am," Shinji forced out, looking like he wanted to die. He gave a perfunctory bow and fled like she was about to change her mind and scoop his eyeballs out for having seen her fresh out of the shower. Morino was already gone.

"You get a kick out of this, don't you?" Mei accused idly, a little smile playing about her lips while she casually pulled open her medicine cabinet and extracted a bottle of some sort of face mask.

Aiko managed to pull her eyes away from the path two terrified Mist-nin had just beat out at top speed to look back at the older woman, but didn't bother to smother her amusement. "I can't imagine what you're talking about. I certainly don't find any amusement in the fact that your subordinates seem to think you would be silly enough to hold a grudge against them because you happened to be half-naked when I offered to take them home after they got pretty well kicked by Akatsuki."

Mei made a sound of comprehension, smearing a green gel on her cheekbones with careful precision. "Mmm, that's what happened, then."

"Yes, I'm sure they'll have a better report for you." Aiko cracked her neck, and enjoyed a deep breath of the moist, floral scented air before she steeled herself to go back to the scrubland where she'd left her team. "Well, I should go."

"Have a nice night," Mei managed, sounding as if she didn't particularly care one way or another. "Say hi to sweetcheeks for me."

Aiko cringed. ' _That is just the most undignified, awful nickname for Kakashi. I know that she's just messing with me, but that's going too far.'_

She was still cringing when she flashed back to Naruto's side. In her absence, they appeared to have searched the corpse for information and identification so they could officially report him deceased and collect his bounty, if there was one. Without the head, the cloak and his signature weapon would have to do. It might not be good enough for the bounty, but Tsunade would understand.

"I didn't bring another sealing scroll," Yamato muttered, looking uncertainly at the long weapon. It wasn't something they particularly wanted to be seen carrying, even if it _didn't_ emit a foul and evil atmosphere. It seemed almost sentient. "Did anyone else?"

"I have one with some equipment in it," Naruto reluctantly offered, frowning slightly. "We could redistribute that among our packs."

That was far from optimal, if the thing would even react normally to a seal. Yamato, Sasuke, and Naruto already had rather full looking packs, and Aiko had left hers in Rouran after it had been shredded. ( _'Thank god I already read those reports on enrollment and graduation'_ , she thought regretfully.)

"No, I can get it," Aiko assured her brother, dropping the cloak they'd stripped off Hidan on top of the weapon, inside out so that the clouds were hidden. "I'm the only one who isn't already carrying anything." Gingerly, she used the fabric to pick up Hidan's scythe without actually touching it, held pinched between her thumb and fingers.

Immediately, she jolted. "Fuck!"

It felt as though the flesh was being _cooked off her bones_ under where she gripped the long handle.

Unnerved, she let the scythe drop.

"That thing is evil," she blurted thoughtlessly, turning her hand to examine it. Sasuke made a surprised little grunt and reached over to grab her wrist. The skin where she'd touched the scythe through the cloak was seeping blood through hundreds of microtears. It only took him a few moments to patch the little wounds up, but everyone present looked at the Jashinist's tool with more trepidation after that. That had been the result of an instant's contact through a thick piece of fabric. There was no way they could touch it long enough to seal it into a storage array, even if they wanted to bring something so nasty into Konoha.

Yamato cleared his throat and bent to gather up the cloak, stuffing it into his pack. "Sasuke, kick up a hole, would you? Apparently we aren't taking that with us."

"One or two?" He raised an eyebrow and jerked his head slightly in the direction of Hidan's corpse… which seemed to be twitching, even though it was just a pile of meat with rather a lot of goo around it.

' _Muscle spasms or regeneration?'_ Aiko shuddered. "Are… are we sure he's dead?" she ventured quietly, but no one else responded. There wasn't much to say. Everything about that man was wrong, very wrong, from the stink of his cheap hair gel to the fact that she couldn't sense his chakra when they'd arrived. It was almost as if he was already dead, or a silly genin who didn't realize that hiding all their chakra made them stand out in a crowd. ' _It doesn't matter_ ,' she thought viciously. _'He'll be dead for real in a moment.'_

"No point in making two holes," Yamato pointed out professionally.

They rolled the body into the hole first, and grimacingly tossed down as much brain matter as they could gather. Sasuke kicked the scythe into the hole on top of its owner's corpse, and gave it a distrustful look an instant before he took a breath. "Fireball jutsu!" His back curled like a cat's for a moment, and the spout of flame poured out and down with licks of heat that stung Aiko's eyes, charring the flesh clean off Hidan's bones and leaving a collapsed skull to grin up at them, inadequately coated in dry remnants of flesh. Chillingly, the broken bones they knew had been caused by Katsuya's weight seemed to have largely healed in the time the body had been sitting still.

Sasuke was extremely proficient with the few fire jutsu he knew. His flames were hotter, larger, and more destructive than Aiko's by a noticeable amount, and her fire was perfectly adequate to melt senbon and kunai. But Hidan's scythe appeared unaffected when the smoke cleared. The metal didn't melt, warp, or even seen to burn. Uneasily, the Konoha team exchanged glances, but no one spoke.

"Ugh, that's so gross." Naruto turned his face away. "Let's cover him before he gets blown away."

He wasn't wrong—already, dry flakes of ash were rising up from the whole skeleton in the burial pit and twisting on the breeze. Sasuke gave everyone else an unimpressed look when they seemed to think he was going to pull a solution out of nowhere as easily as he'd calculated an angle that would send the sandstone in a shear instead of crumple and compact it.

"You can move sand just as well as I can," he pointed out acidly. "Naruto, just make a stupid amount of shadow clones to do it."

He grumbled, but Sasuke was right in that it only took a few minutes of work from ten clones and the team to fill the pit in as if a fissure had never been cracked. Perhaps the hole could have been deeper, but that was much more difficult to accomplish with sand than with dirt. Sand would spill inwards. He was a leathery skeleton, it wasn't as if he could possibly heal from that and dig his way out.

' _Thank god.'_ Aiko felt bone-deep tiredness tugging her body down, to the point where she was almost willing to try to take a nap in the sand. ' _We can finally go home now.'_ The others must have been similarly eager, because they all leapt back into the rhythm of running towards Konoha with a mindless determination that had to be their third or fourth wind of the day.

If they had waited, they might have seen the ashes floating on the breeze clump and stick together like they were pulled by a magnetic force, slowly swelling up with moisture stolen from the grudging atmosphere. With half an hour, they plopped back onto the sand glistening wetly, even if they didn't look like anything in particular yet, and were immediately coated in pale grains. After a few moments, the sand seemed to shiver from struggles below, and the raw flesh began sinking underneath.

* * *

"Home," someone breathed. Aiko didn't care to figure out whom, preoccupied as she was digging out the proper identification number for the gate guard from the recesses of her memory. She had three now, and using the wrong one would probably either convince people that she was an infiltrator or dangerously stupid.

Often, they didn't even need those identification credentials to get into the village since the gate guards knew them on sight or could check their mission documents.

Something had happened during their absence, however. All chitchat ceased in the unusually long waiting line to the gates. Aiko wasn't quite tall enough to count that there were eight guards and the doors were being opened and closed between each entrant until it was nearly her team's turn.

The grim expressions on the faces of two Chuunin she didn't know – meaning that they'd probably been pulled off other duties to supplement the security—convinced her not to ask here.

"Team Yamato?" A scarred man who could have been a Yamanaka took all their credentials at once and shuffled through them. "You're ordered to report to Hokage tower immediately once cleared."

"Of course," their captain agreed professionally, though that standing order probably concerned him as well. Their mission shouldn't have been a terribly large priority. Normally, only politically sensitive missions or those that could affect village security as a whole had to be reported immediately. The general policy was a twenty-four hour grace period to complete a written report and submit it, only supplemented by a verbal debriefing at the Hokage or the mission desk's discretion.

Mukade was a pain in the ass, and their mission report would have eventually been bumped up to a verbal meeting on account of how bafflingly _insane_ it was, but he was hardly a matter of national security.

"Cheer up," Naruto prodded, practically bouncing ahead of the group in his eagerness to be home. He hardly seemed deterred by the nearly empty streets, but the other three were caught between solemnity and caution. "We're home, guys! And we're going to see the old lady, and she's going to think we had the best mission ever, and then we can go out for a celebratory dinner and I bet she'll have another cool job for us-"

"You're making me tired, idiot" Sasuke grunted in faux-irritation, though she was pretty certain he appreciated the lightened mood. He just liked to seem more mature than Naruto.

The first secretary waved them right on up with a cheerful (but tired) smile aimed at Sasuke. The office drones they passed on the middle levels were bustling about with a good deal less levity than usual. Upstairs, Keiko didn't bother to put on a front at all, and the bags under her eyes were a pretty significant hint as to the real state of things. "Oh good, you're here." She faultlessly slashed through one item on an intimidatingly long list with an ease that implied she'd been referencing it far too often. "Go on in."

Sasuke gave her an unusually visible sympathetic look, but strode into Tsunade's office with the casual ease gained from familiarity without another word.

At the sound of the door, Tsunade looked up wearily. There was no humor or fondness on her face at all when she greeted them. "That took longer than expected, and had markedly poor timing," she commented curtly. Before anyone could react, she cracked her neck, looked up, and added, "Not that it's your fault, it's just bad luck. Is there anything especially time-sensitive about your report? Did you get Mukade?"

"We could not take him alive, but we accomplished our main objective," Yamato briskly replied, clearly sensing that she wasn't in the mood to banter. "As for our mission report, a lot that we will have to talk to you about happened, but there's nothing especially time-sensitive or relevant to mission security except that we ran into two Akatsuki on the way back."

"What?" Tsunade interrupted, looking considerably more shocked than she should have been. "But the Uchiha should have been in…" She trailed off, and scowled at Yamato.

"Not Hoshigaki and Uchiha," Yamato clarified. "Two others. I'm relatively certain that one was the Hidan who destroyed Yugakure, but the other offered no identification. The second man escaped, but between Sasuke and Naruto, Hidan is rather thoroughly deceased."

"Thoroughly deceased," Tsunade repeated, a faint tinge of mocking in her tone. "What, precisely, counts as 'thoroughly' deceased and why wasn't the regular state enough?"

"I dropped Katsuya on him and Naruto destroyed his brain, so that he would stop regenerating," Sasuke contributed with a bored air. His mentor snorted, but looked rather smug.

"Yes, well." Yamato shifted his weight, and added, "When we encountered them, they were harassing a team from Mist that included their jinchuuriki. Apparently, they had already lost two teammates and weren't doing well, so I judged that we were obliged to offer assistance."

"Thank god," Tsunade muttered, rubbing the pad of her thumb along the side of her index finger in a compulsion that Aiko was relatively sure related to gambling and counting money. "It would have looked very badly on us if they'd been left. Did you see them safely to their destination?"

"Aiko did," Yamato offered.

The Hokage let out a sigh. "Then they went directly to Terumi? Good work." Wearily, she propped her chin on a hand and surveyed the group, sharp eyes cataloguing the nuances of their appearances. "I was worried when you didn't report on time. Akatsuki got their first jinchuuriki. Apparently, they've decided that any reputation they lost by failing completely when they first made a move needed to be rectified with a decisive strike."

' _Well, that's a spectacularly grim subject to come home to.'_

She didn't really know what was supposed to happen at this point, to be frank.

"The Raikage's brother is dead, and he's decided it's our fault."

Aiko was pretty sure that wasn't it.

Apparently, the Raikage was acting just as rational as Aiko had always suspected him to be.

' _To be fair,_ ' she thought guiltily, _'if it were my little brother who had been killed, I might not be at my best either.'_

The thought was monstrous, but so was the risk that it hadn't just been a momentary mistake when the Raikage had lashed out at Konoha for supposedly pointing Akatsuki at Lightning to weaken them in preparation for a war. Konoha's having been directly involved in putting down two Akatsuki members had apparently convinced the Raikage that the attack on Gaara had been a smokescreen to conceal that they were affiliated with Akatsuki, meant to keep him from getting revenge on the real target and not the puppets they'd used to accomplish such a thing.

It wasn't an entirely illogical train of thought, to be fair. Aiko could easily see a village making a play like that… Mostly Lightning. The village that kept trying to steal babies with kekkai genkai really had no room to talk about underhanded power plays.

Of course, if that really was what had happened, the Raikage would have been better off to seek peace with Konoha, because he was on the wrong side of an uneven alliance.

But grief did strange things to thought processes, and it had to sting in an especially clear contrast that Konoha had apparently been easily rebuffing the people who had so easily killed B's team and extracted his bijuu, carelessly leaving the body to be found abandoned in the wilds by Cloud's trackers after the fact. He might think that he had to strike while the iron was hot, both to avenge his loss and to ensure that Konoha didn't manage to wage a war of attrition against Lightning country.

In terms of sheer manpower, Cloud was in a much better position than Konoha. If he decided to go to war, things could become grim even if Rock didn't join in. it seemed unlikely that Cloud could possibly triumph alone, but they could well have a pyrrhic sort of victory.

By getting Konoha's jinchuuriki, for example, since they thought they were owed a bijuu, and blaming someone else would be substantially less painful than admitting that the Raikage had been a moron of momentous proportions to snub Gaara's request for a summit to deal with Akatsuki.

"I don't really care what you want," Tsunade said testily.

' _I should probably be paying attention now and analyzing this later.'_

"But Tsunade-baachan! Aren't they winning if they keep us all here, too scared to go about business as usual?"

The Hokage rolled her eyes, a hint of fondness behind the movement. "I don't particularly care if the Akatsuki and Lightning think they're winning. What matters is doing what we have to do to keep Konoha safe. Right now, that's best served by concentrating our strength here. Consider this personal development time. Genin and Chuunin aren't going to be leaving the village much, so this is an excellent opportunity for you to spar against your age mates and accelerate training that might otherwise be interrupted by missions."

' _Message received.'_ Aiko slumped a little. Genin and Chuunin wouldn't be leaving the village—that meant that _Jounin_ would. No personal development time for her, then.

Unsurprisingly, Tsunade had her hang back after Naruto and Sasuke left, Yamato giving a curious glance backwards as he shut the door. Aiko braced herself for orders, already anticipating the worst. There was always something else.

"I don't plan on sending you out either unless anything changes, so consider yourself on personal development. On that note, I think it's time for you to finish some of your specialized training. You won't be as busy as usual, so feel free to stop cringing away from me. I'm not a complete monster, you know." Tsunade managed a tired smile. "Hold on a moment…" She rustled around for a form—a prescription note of some type, from what she could tell, and scratched in some coded information that made no sense to Aiko at all. "You'll be taking this directly to Shizune at the hospital either before you go home tonight, or first thing in the morning. There are rather a lot of immunizations to get you started on…"

Paper in hand, she had to wonder if that was really all there was. Useful, yes, but she didn't see how shots qualified as part of training. Tsunade seemed to register her confusion, and looked mildly amused.

"You'll be meeting your new instructor in the ANBU training facility tomorrow night. Don't worry too much—this is a short couple of lectures and not really bestowing an entirely new skill set."

Relieved, Aiko gave a short bow and was grateful to excuse herself. There were two more places she wanted to stop by before she went home and had a nice, hot shower. If she let herself put this off, she might forget entirely.

Involuntarily, she huffed, irritated with herself.

' _I shouldn't lie to myself. I'm not likely to forget about the first thing because I want to do it, and I might avoid the second because it sucks. Forgetting hardly factors into the equation.'_

* * *

Suddenly, Sensei's bizarre recurring warnings to wait until his prospective partner was seventeen in the unlikely circumstance that he ever decided he wanted to fuck someone fourteen years his junior (advice that first emerged when he was about ten and extended off-and-on until he was fourteen) fit into an unsettling context.

' _He was so convinced that I was besmirching his as-of-yet unborn daughter that the abstract concern was retained even after he wiped his memory.'_ Under his headband, pure stress caused his Sharingan to burn through a shocking amount of chakra before Kakashi calmed his breathing.

Okay, mostly calmed his breathing.

 _Fine_ , he was all but hyperventilating, one hand shaking as it supported part of his weight on the counter after his sudden bout of faintness when the end of that jutsu hit him like a brick to the head. It didn't matter—no one was there to see.

His brain was breaking a little bit.

' _He didn't say 'don't screw my baby. He said 'don't screw my baby until she's seventeen.' Oh kami, sensei. You are the strangest human being I have ever met.'_

Sullenly, Kakashi shook his head and went back to brushing his teeth. He'd been having a perfectly acceptable evening home alone when a splitting migraine had heralded the breaking of what he now knew had been sealed memories.

' _Why did he think I was involved with Aiko?'_

Calmly, Kakashi spat and rinsed his mouth free of toothpaste, put the brush down, and put his palms on the mirror. Then he leaned forward and thunked his forehead against the glass with a good bit of force.

Nope. Still awake.

Unless those memories had been unsealed far too early, there was no reason for Minato to think that. (Oh kami, what if they _had_? Did that mean he was going to seduce his former student? He'd never seduced someone in his life, outside of mission constraints, and that didn't count, it was a completely different thing. He could hardly leave forever or kill her when he had the information he needed. This would almost certainly be an extracurricular type of seduction and not an assignment, after all.)

Where had Minato gotten such an idea? Surely not from the way they'd interacted. Shamefully, his nine year old self had been as chronically unimpressed about a team he now knew to be remarkable as he had been about almost everyone else. It just didn't make sense.

' _It's not like Minato could have possibly known I've inadvertently scarred the image of her all but naked into my brain, courtesy of Naruto,'_ he thought sullenly, feeling a resentment for the blonde boy very similar to what he'd felt as a nine year old when he thought Naruto was trying to worm his way into Minato's good graces.

His subconscious eagerly latched onto the scapegoat. Naruto. This was all _Naruto's_ fault somehow. He just didn't know how the boy had done it.

' _Well, I do know that I need to sit him and Sasuke down and read them a riot act for being colossal jackasses after a comrade ended up behind enemy lines,'_ he thought darkly. Did the Academy really not cover that sensitivity training anymore? Even as a nine-year old eavesdropping on a conversation that had nothing to do with him, he'd cringed to realize the seriousness of what exactly the boys had been teasing Aiko about.

In one way, it was a mark of their comparative innocence. No one who had grown up in wartime would do such a thing out of ignorance. Cruelty, perhaps, but not ignorance. Neither of the boys were cruel.

He stiffened at the faint sound of a knock on his door. Damnit, it was the middle of the evening. Had someone come to call him in for an emergency assignment?

' _Unlikely. They'd be pulsing their chakra signature to signal an emergency.'_

Warily, Kakashi wandered out of the bathroom and meandered to where he'd left a clean mask, not bothering to hurry as he pulled it over his head. Whoever it was could wait.

"Kakashi!"

The voice was muffled, but unmistakable.

Panic.

What to do?

He had definitely not prepared to see Aiko again yet. He was still re-evaluating and assimilating his new memories and experiences.

' _Come to think of it, I should probably talk to her about what she confessed to Minato about Sasori.'_

And didn't that make him feel like a gigantic shithead? He'd never even asked: content to eliminate the threat and take her bravado at its face. _Of course_ it was bravado. Only an idiot could truly be completely unaffected by being taken prisoner. She was a lot of things (hard to read, occasionally dramatic, and completely unaware of her own limits at times) but she wasn't an idiot.

"There's a jutsu I desperately need you to teach me or I will wilt and die and it'll be your fault," came the faint call.

Involuntarily, he snorted. Was she _really_ still going on about that Shadow Shuriken Jutsu?

"I neeeeeeed it," was the plaintive cry, almost as if she'd heard him, and the soft sound of a little hand connecting with his door. And another- she was pawing at it like a kitten locked outside at night.

Apparently so.

Well, he didn't actually mind teaching that one. Minato had liked it well enough that he'd been eager to learn it. …Though he hadn't used it in so long that he'd barely remembered it existed. With its wide range, it was more flash than substance, unless your opponent was large and slow or otherwise unable to dodge the bulk of it. Personally, it wasn't worth it for him to use in most circumstances. He was so used to thinking in terms of conserving his chakra to compensate for his Sharingan that it was hard to actively choose to use a chakra-expensive jutsu unless it was the perfect one for the task.

He could be an adult and go confront her now, and possibly have that troublesome conversation and teach her the technique as a way to both end the awful emotion-infested dialogue and reward her for not running away when he asked her how she was doing.

Orrrrrr, he could hide under his bed until she left and leave a scroll with the handsigns and an explanation in her mailbox. It was a nearly fool-proof strategy. He had learned it from Minato-sensei himself as an excellent method of placating Kushina-san when she might have otherwise tossed him through a window when he tried to see her in person. Aiko wasn't likely to be angry, but it was still an excellent way to avoid unnecessary socialization…

That second option sounded really good, now that he considered it.

With a sigh, Kakashi opened his door and let a rather determined teenager use those appallingly well-practiced puppy eyes on him. She looked insufferably pleased to see him open the door.

If Aiko was in enough of a mood to come to his apartment and beg him to teach her, he wouldn't be able to hide. She knew where he was at all times (a singularly disturbing thought, had he trusted her any less to respect his privacy). But Aiko probably wasn't in a mood to indulge his desire for avoidance if he was so blatant about it—she might well just use the Hiraishin seal he had in his hip pouch if he ignored her.

' _Come to think of it, was that what she was doing in that crowd of puppets?'_

It didn't quite fit. She seemed to be able to destroy any machine that she'd touched, but that hardly correlated to the instantaneous travel Hiraishin allowed. But there had definitely been no mundane explosive materials like pre-made tags, powder, or even flammable liquids or gases. It had really seemed that her touch just meant death. There had to be something more to it.

"I can teach you that tomorrow," Kakashi cut Aiko off before she could demonstrate just how little dignity she had when there was something bright-colored and destructive involved, well aware of what she wanted. "But you have to answer a question."

Too late, he realized that he hadn't even decided if he wanted to let her know that he remembered meeting her in the past. Assuming it had happened on that mission and he wasn't remembering things too early—it would be even more awkward if she didn't know what he was talking about…

Well. If he decided he wanted to let the subject drop, he could always come up with another question that wouldn't give that away.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." She grinned up at him, looking tired and like she'd been beat to hell and back. "That was all I wanted. See you at noon?"

' _My keen intuition tells me that her mission was not particularly relaxing.'_

Kakashi repressed a sigh. So much for his good intentions. Why did he even let Tsunade avoid really giving her time off? Even if her mood seemed better, her physical condition didn't seem improved at all. "Seven a.m. sharp," he corrected gravely. Then he closed his door without waiting for her reply.

She'd probably go to bed now that she had what she wanted.

* * *

' _Well, that went much better than I'd feared.'_

But god, it was wonderful to see _her_ Kakashi again, and not the weird chibi version who was about as approachable as a poison-tipped cactus. Even if he did look uncomfortable to see her at his door. Disoriented, even.

Maybe he was just that tired.

"I don't see how I could possibly sleep right now." Aiko heaved a sigh, not bothering to hurry at all. Really, what she was doing was best described as an 'amble', but she was enjoying the weather and the sights of her own Konoha. Even if it was in lockdown because they were possibly on the verge of war, it was still a thousand times better than the idyllic, pre-Kyuubi version she'd last seen.

And hadn't that all been food for thought?

Her feet took her somewhere she hadn't been in years without her making a real, conscious decision. It had never been a favorite destination.

' _No delicate flower, I,'_ Aiko mused with rather bleak humor, surveying the field where the idiotic kunoichi classes had been forced to meet to prepare flower arrangements. Her classmates had generally treated it like a field trip, but she'd always had condescension for the stereotyping. Kunoichi weren't all infiltration specialists—putting flowers in vases was never going to be that crucial to her life, and just wasn't that hard either. (Besides, how likely would it be that someone would stop her to demand an impromptu floral arrangement even if she was masquerading as a civilian woman?)

A lot of the rules they had learned seemed so arbitrary and useless. She could appreciate flower meanings as a code—one she had dutifully memorized at the time and all but forgotten now—but really, it seemed so pretentious to her to make a grand system of it. What was the point of complicating something that was at its essence about making beautiful things? All the rules made hanakatoba an excellent outlet for creativity for people who thought like Ino did, but for the layman who would never create anything so complex or even be able to properly appreciate what others made… They were just in the way.

' _People make things too complicated. Unfortunately, I'm still a people.'_

She'd had to admit to herself what she was really doing when she first bent to pick a particularly fragrant flower—one that stank, but she liked the color. Aiko didn't bother to lie to herself about where she was going after that being an impulse, but she was a little grateful that it was almost dark, even if no one was likely to bother her there.

"Hey, mom. Dad." Aiko cleared her throat awkwardly, feeling a few delicate stems break under her fingers. She consciously loosened her vise grip and laid down the rather sparse, utilitarian bouquet beside the plain, ugly hunk of rock. "I, ah, picked out the flowers myself based on appearance, so they probably say something like 'victory in battle' or 'a pox upon your house, foul harlot', but I meant well. I'm… I'm sorry I've never come to talk to you before," she settled, feeling unbearably stupid.

It was just a rock. It couldn't possibly hope to stand in for the real people she'd convinced herself for years that she hadn't any curiosity about, even if their names were engraved there. How very deconstructive—both stated presence and acknowledged absence were encompassed in a few simple carved symbols.

' _Does this really help anyone?'_

Unsure, she blinked away itchiness in her eyes and rubbed at the back of her neck. "I think I was wrong about you two, and I understand you a little better now. It's…" she coughed, and tried again. "Making choices for and involving other people is harder than I thought it was. And I suppose I can't judge you by what you did on one particular day."

' _Not as clear cut, is it?_ ' a small, vicious part of her mind mocked her own past self. ' _It's scary, having other people depend on you, and that was just one mission. Maybe you wouldn't have had the hardness of heart to choose your family over the hundreds of people in the village. Maybe you would have taken the easier way out of dying as a hero and avoiding being hated for your choices.'_

She swallowed, hard.

' _I don't… I don't want to think that I'd choose the greater good over Naruto. I don't.'_

The stupid rock didn't have any answers for her.

Frustration and loneliness pulled through her chest like a violent wind, leaving her feeling bereft. Of what, she didn't know. Companionship? Guidance? Some mythical parental figure who would take care of everything for her? She scoffed bitterly at her own foolishness.

Still, the stone stood there. Implacable, impersonal, as if standing in judgment for the crimes she might commit one day against people who tried to harm those she cared about, or those she was sworn to defend.

' _I wish I'd gotten to stay in Konoha longer that first day instead of leaving for Rouran again right away. I liked Minato much more than I expected to, so I might have liked to meet Kushina.'_

Too late now.

Aiko averted her eyes, noting the grass wavering in the breeze more as a passage of shadows than sharp detail. "So… I think that's about it," she muttered, not entirely certain that coming to talk to a stone with names on it had helped anything. "I… goodnight, guys." She gave a jerky bow and fled the conventional way, letting her feet take her away from that one-sided conversation with a rush of air on her face and a pounding beneath her soles.

There was no rest that night, but there was thankfully a long, hot shower that cleaned off twenty years of dust and stress. Unable to sleep, Aiko stared at her ceiling until light crept back in.


	80. Chapter 80

This is the first chapter since the movie arc to be different on AO3 and ff.

Also, can I just say that 1. the reviews lately have been amazing and make me so happy to see and 2. I should stop trying to predict reader reaction, because I thought everyone would hate the movie thing and it actually seemed to go over really well. I mean, I thought that though it was really fun to play with, the premise of the movie was a bit silly and out-there, but then again, this is a story about ninjas who vomit fire and can summon inter-dimensional wind-natured weasels (god bless Temari).

* * *

"Kami, you look awful." Shizune didn't bother to ask for permission before she invaded Aiko's personal space and brusquely checked for fever. Her pale pink lips curved into a frown. "Hmm." As if the displeased tone wasn't enough, the older girl made a spectacle out of going through medical checks and giving her a barrage of questions (when was the last time she'd smoked? Um, never).

Eventually, she managed to interrupt. "Shizune-san? I was just here for whatever this is."

Shizune gave her a stern glare, but took the paper and read it over. Her expression changed immediately. "Really?" she asked, mildly incredulous. "They get younger every year," she mumbled under her breath, bustling to the cupboards along the wall and gathering up a frightening assortment of small bottles and needles. Aiko wasn't particularly bothered by needles, but the sheer number that the other girl picked up was a bit unnerving.

"Alright," Shizune started professionally, slipping a bit of hair behind her ear and holding up the first shot. "This is a standard inoculation against some infections you might be at risk for. Roll up your sleeve, please."

Looking at the needle go into her flesh made her feel a bit queasy (it was just unnatural to let someone else stick her with a blade, and every reflex she had was screaming 'fight') so Aiko turned her face away and let Shizune's methodical checklist rush over her.

"Are you sexually active?" Shizune hardly waited for her response before she followed up with, "Do you plan to become pregnant in the next six months? Do you have a medical or mental condition that would complicate the use of birth control? Do you consent to receive the standard doses?"

Bewildering, and it only got worse from there. Aiko got vaccinations for what she recognized with horror as various STI's, sleeping agents, and even a compound mentioned as an aphrodisiac from an Icha Icha volume.

"Do you know who you'll be meeting tonight?"

Aiko shook her head, stunned wordless. That hadn't been an encouraging assortment at all.

Shizune rolled her eyes, exasperated. "Oh, Tsunade-sama," she muttered under her breath before clearing her throat and straightening up. "I don't think your mentor will mind me telling you this much. You're about to go through ANBU sex-specific, right?" At the nervous nod, Shizune gave her a soothing smile. "Don't worry. Most of this stuff is completely unrelated." (Here, she gestured to all the inoculations). "You're old enough that this is about the standard time that policy recommends a lot of these shots. I don't want you thinking all day that this is going to be some horrific, invasive training. As far as seduction goes, agents are almost never actually expected to do more than cursory touching. It's not about engaging in relations with your target—it's learning how to use their emotions or desires against them. The real complications come with the possibility that romance could be used both by you and on you in your career. A lot of what you're going to go over is material you already know—profiling targets."

"That is a huge relief, actually," Aiko sighed, giving a faint but real smile.

It was. For a while there, she'd thought that Konoha as a whole wasn't any better than Danzo. The idea that she might be expected to manipulate strangers by feigning attraction to get information out of them or to weasel access to secured locations was much less traumatizing than the crudity of using her body in a literal sense for any goal. Mind games, she could do.

She might not even need this training. Aiko was relatively confident that she could spot someone attempting to manipulate her emotions.

' _Don't be cocky,'_ she reminded herself, even as she traded smiles and good-byes with the medic. ' _Unearned self-confidence kills. Right now, I know nothing.'_

That was, she knew nothing except that the training she was getting would be expected to be used against one of the few people she genuinely liked. Aiko didn't mind manipulating Gaara, (manipulation was part and parcel of being a shinobi and anyone who thought otherwise was lying to themselves) but in such a selfish way that didn't provide mutual benefit? Fuck that shit.

She'd just have to look like she was trying, and hurry to get Danzo out of power. At worst, she might end up much closer friends with Gaara. That could be nice.

No matter what, she couldn't allow there to be any reason for Gaara to believe that she was working towards a romantic relationship. If she did and the stupid orders from Danzo came out, he would never forgive her. He couldn't know about this at all. Either he would know that Tsunade couldn't control a powerful rebel faction within Konoha, or he would think the order had really come from official channels and Danzo was just a scapegoat. Either way, letting Gaara have any clue about Danzo's stupid plot would undermine their countries' diplomatic status.

"You're here too?"

When she turned, her little brother was pushing his way past a disgruntled nurse, eyes nearly shut sleepily. "Naruto, good morning," she greeted calmly.

He snorted. "How long have you been here?" he mocked lightly, jabbing her in the side with a thumb (and ignoring the way that she jolted and wriggled away). "It's eleven thirty. Did you have shots too?" Aiko gave him a sharp look, wondering if there was a similar battery for boys hitting mid teenage years, and then remembered that a lot of the things she would be getting follow-up shots for were actual wartime precautions—cocktails that would reduce vulnerability to various poisons and infections, generally.

"I did," she agreed mildly, giving a cutesy pout and rubbing at the panda-covered bandaid on her upper arm.

"I bet that makes you want ramen," he wheedled.

"Not really."

"Raaaaaaa-mennnnn," Naruto sung under his breath enticingly, hooking an arm through her elbow and giving her a naughty little smile as he began to tug her out of the doors. "Ramen. Raaameeeeeen. Ramen! Ram-"

"Okay, okay," she cut him off, pulling her arm away and thwacking him upside the head with it, limp-wristed so that there wasn't really any force behind the blow. "I give in. Ramen it is."

Not surprisingly, they were the only ones to show up at the ramen stand so ridiculously early. At least the soup should be really fresh. "Aiko-san," Teuchi greeted politely, before he gave a real smile to Naruto, one that crinkled the corners of his eyes. "Naruto-kun! It's been a while."

"Almost a week!" he agreed mournfully, before flashing his teeth at the older man and slapping his hand down on the counter.

He didn't even have to ask— Teuchi ladled out a bowl and artfully piled it high with the few things Naruto would lower himself to eat (everything that wasn't a vegetable, really) before getting Aiko a less specialized portion. At first, they didn't say anything. Naruto never liked to talk before his first bowl.

"Naruto?"

"Hmm?" He tilted his head back to slurp down the last broth, eyes darting over to where she was stirring at her own noodles. Aiko had picked out all the beef and vegetables, but she just wasn't in the mood for the rest.

Wordlessly, she pushed her bowl over with a scrape, letting him snatch it up. With the space in front of her cleared, Aiko rested her elbows on the counter and pursed her lips. It was a little galling to her pride after having made such a big deal of this, but… "Would you teach me Rasengan?"

His chopsticks stopped, and Naruto blinked down at her, straightening on his stool. "Well, I guess I could," he started uncertainly. "I've been working on that lately, too. Trying to make it wind-natured instead of just a pure elemental transformation."

An ironic little smile quirked her lips up to one side. "Well, that's a path I cannot follow, but I think I could learn the original."

Naruto seemed to think for a moment, before giving her a mischievous smirk. "Alright then. We're going to need a lot of balloons. And a rubber ball."

"We're only going to need like two, believe it," she shot back a little mockingly, not really believing that herself. But she couldn't let her otouto show her up. He was operating on a ridiculous handicap in regards to chakra control, after all, and she had a lot of experience with that. How long had it taken him to learn the original version, again?

"Boss! You're back!"

At first, Aiko didn't even consider that the slightly raspy little-boy-voice on the verge of breaking was directed at anyone she knew. It wasn't until Naruto swiveled on his stool that she registered it might be relevant. She let her hands drop and twisted to open her chest up towards the voice, looking partially over her shoulder at three children—a genin team by the looks of them.

"Oh hey, Konohamaru," Naruto greeted idly.

' _That's familiar. I had no idea they'd actually met.'_

Curious, she examined the adorable brown-haired boy who stood at the center of the small group. He was going to be a heart-breaker, that one.

A sharp gasp drew her attention to the little kunoichi of the team, a cutesy little carrot-top confection with a high ponytail. "She's- she's real!"

Aiko recoiled, incredulously turning to see if there was someone behind her that the girl was staring at. Nope. "Me?" She put a hand to her chest, just to check.

The boy who was apparently Konohamaru was staring at her with a vivid blush across his cheeks, hands clutched in fists against his chest. "Boss… I didn't realize…"

"This is my sister!" Naruto interrupted, voice dangerously high. He seemed strangely nervous. "Ah, Aiko, meet Konohama-"

"We're the Konohamaru squad!" the three children in front of them interrupted with a well-practiced ease.

Apparently, Udon liked math, Moegi was the sexiest kunoichi in Konoha, and Konohamaru was their leader.

Konohamaru gave a rude snort and nudged his teammate. "Hey Moegi, if she's real, doesn't that bump you down to the second sexiest kunoichi?"

' _Ohhhhh. They thought Naruto's sexy no jutsu was just abstract. They didn't realize that there was anyone in Konoha with those stunning good looks.'_

Aiko preened a little. They had excellent taste.

"I don't do that anymore!" Naruto interjected, hand nervously twitching towards his hair as if he wanted to run his hands through it. "There's no artistic integrity in recreating what already exists, after all!" He threw his head back and gave a very fake laugh. "Watch this now!" Naruto slid off the stool and crossed his fingers in a familiar sign. "Sexy no jutsu!"

Aiko tilted her head, mildly disappointed. "That's not what it used to look like," she mournfully noted, examining the blonde girl she could only describe as 'Naruko'. "I liked the other version better."

"Yeah, well." Naruko interlaced her fingers and put them behind her head. "I realized- Ouch!" With a puff of smoke, he regressed to his natural form, already turning to pout at the man who had just hit him over the head with a ladle. "What was that for?"

"Not in my shop," Teuchi scolded mildly, putting the ill-used implement in the sink and extracting a clean one from a drawer to settle back into the shrimp ramen. "This is a family establishment, Naruto-kun."

He blushed. "Sorry, sir."

"Don't apologize, there was no harm done this time. But I want you to remember that discussion about situational appropriateness." He lifted his eyebrows meaningfully at the teen.

"R-right!" Naruto saluted him, grinning. "We'll go practice somewhere else!" He turned to her almost as an afterthought. "The first thing is to get water balloons and practice spinning the water inside in as many directions as you can with only your chakra. When you have it right, the balloon should break."

He scampered off, genin in tow, leaving Aiko with a perplexed look on her face.

That's…

' _That's weird. I mean, I know that Naruto uses it without handsigns, as did Minato, but I thought that was a mark of mastery and not an integral property. That's usually how it goes. A jutsu is taught with handsigns, and experience and chakra control enables a user to make shortcuts. Is that part of what makes Rasengan so powerful? It's a pure shape transformation without internal aid to guide it? A direct manifestation of the user's will on the environment?'_

Then again, it could also be that Naruto had learned Rasengan that way because he was ridiculously talented with ninjutsu and had never had to learn the shortcuts that other people used (and was in fact more inconvenienced by those aids because he was a weird kid).

' _The only way to know is to try, I guess.'_

"He forgot to pay again," Teuchi commented dryly, leaning over the counter to watch Naruto's back disappear into the distance. For some reason, he appeared to have Moegi sitting on his shoulders while Konohamaru jumped around him in a circle.

"Put it on his tab," she advised, not letting herself get suckered into paying for it. "It's not like he won't be back." Aiko doled out her own bill and slid off the stool, determinedly not looking to see if Teuchi would be put out or not.

Naruto was an adult, so he should act like one. That included being responsible for the unpleasant consequences of his actions, like being embarrassed when Teuchi had to ask him to pay before he ate next time. If she just took care of his problems, he'd never grow up. Being able to reliably pay for his own meals was a pretty low bar to hit.

She'd still take his advice, though.

The cashier gave her a questioning look for purchasing two packets of water balloons and a sparkly purple rubber ball. Aiko considered explaining that they were for serious adult business, but ended up simply shrugging the shade off. Haters gonna hate. She was above pretending she was buying them for a children's party or something.

Maybe it would have been better if she weren't picking up rice wine for cooking at the same time.

(A terrible and wonderful thought occurred. But no, she couldn't have the water pressure to fill the balloons if she poured it from the bottle.)

Bags in hand, she walked outside—and then pulled on her Hiraishin tag to take her directly to her bedroom, bypassing the walk home.

Iruka-sensei would probably tell her not to play with water balloons inside the house, but she was a goddamn adult and could do what she wanted.

She stopped and wondered if she knew another adult who would say a thing about it. Kakashi? Anko? Tsunade? _Maybe_ Yamato, but she wasn't sure. Aiko had to reluctantly conclude that there was just something about being a shinobi that contradicted common sense behaviors associated with being an adult.

Almost immediately, there was a knock on the door.

"That's weird," Aiko muttered, dropping her plastic bag on the couch and meandering over to pull the door open. "Hey, Sai. You have excellent timing, I just got back. Want to come in?"

When he merely nodded and walked in without a word, Aiko rose one eyebrow skeptically. Still, she shrugged and closed the door behind him. "I was going to work on my chakra control for a new jutsu, but we could do something else?"

"No, that's fine." He leaned against the wall to take off his sandals, glancing up at her through his thick lashes. "How was your mission?"

Aiko opened her mouth to respond, and then closed it a second later. Honestly, she admitted, "I have no idea how to answer that question. It turned into a gigantic mess. I would rather not think about it. Tea?" She didn't bother to wait for him to respond. It wasn't really a question—she made tea every time someone came over. It gave her something to do with her hands while they settled in. Sai knew that by now.

He was standing right behind her when Aiko tried to back away from the stovetop to take the water away from the heat. His hands skimmed over hers and gently pried the porcelain out of her grip to put the teapot back down on a different burner plate.

"Sai?"

She twisted, settling with her hips against the machine, feeling ambient heat against her lower back. ' _He looks… serious. Not that he doesn't usually, but…'_

"Where did you go?" Sai tilted his head slightly, seeming to do his best to spontaneously discover telepathy, eyes intent on hers. She couldn't look away.

' _Did I hurt his feelings by not telling him I was going to leave? I didn't think I had to. Are we… dating now?'_

The thought was … Well, it felt strange. But she couldn't well intentionally work to make Sai emotionally open up to her, flirt with him, and then expect him to have no attachment.

"I'm sorry, I should have told you beforehand," Aiko apologized. Tentatively, she reached up and ran a single finger through his silky hair, tucking it behind his ear and then resting it on his shoulder. "I didn't really know ahead of time, though. I thought I was going to be in-village, but got called in for a team under Yamato-san as a tracker."

She left it at that. Aiko had no intention to get called up on disciplinary charges for running her mouth about her missions. This one hadn't been rated as classified or open yet, so she shouldn't say anything more.

Luckily, he seemed to accept it. "I see." Her peripheral barely caught his hands, which had been brought back to his side when she had turned around, make an aborted movement before intentionally relaxing.

Before he could step back she brought her other arm up to slink around his shoulder and closed the rest of the distance, pressing their torsos together. "M sorry," Aiko breathed lightly into his neck, and then tilted her head up to pressed a closed kiss against his jaw. "Forgive me?" His pulse jumped, but he slowly nodded.

"There is nothing to forgive." His hands gripped her shoulders and gently pushed her back, and he gave her one of his fake smiles.

If she didn't know better, Aiko might have taken that as a lack of sincerity. But fake smiles were the only ones Sai had to offer, so she took it as the gift it was. "Thanks." She reached up to squeeze at his fingers, before pulling away to finish taking care of the tea. He moved away to the other room while she poured. Her tea was set on the table and his passed off, but Aiko grabbed up the bag she'd left on the table and went right back to the kitchen to fill up the first water balloon.

"What are you doing?"

Sai sounded singularly unimpressed when she walked in to the room with a full water balloon. Probably thought she'd gone mad, or was about to throw it at him.

' _I guess I found a shinobi who would say something about water-play inside. Poor stiff.'_

"It's an aid for that new jutsu," Aiko explained contemplatively, weighing the wiggly plastic on her palm. "A control exercise, of sorts. I'm supposed to burst it using the water inside."

He stared. "You're a water type," Sai explained slowly, as if he thought she had forgotten.

She couldn't help but scoff fondly. "I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to take advantage of that and use my nature alignment to alter the water's properties to break it. From what I understand, if I do it correctly, merely moving the water in a certain way will break the balloon."

' _Either that, or Naruto is just messing with my head.'_

No point in sharing that lingering possibility. It wouldn't be the first time he'd pulled a practical joke on her, but he probably wouldn't tease her when she honestly asked him for help. The instructions he'd given her were counter-intuitive but if Naruto could do this, so could she. He was operating under an enormous chakra control handicap, and she'd already done endless monotonous grinds to improve her control. She was hardly going to match Tsunade's expertise, but that wouldn't be necessary.

Sai seemed skeptical, but let the topic be. "Do you know what your next assignment will be?" he asked lightly, bringing one knee up to his chest and letting the toes on his other foot skim the floor. Aiko settled next to him on the couch, respectfully holding the balloon balanced on her palm over the edge of the cushion so that he wouldn't be splashed if it burst.

Keeping part of her attention on the conversation, she tentatively infused the water with her chakra and began spinning it. "I'm not sure," Aiko admitted, feeling the direction she actively began travel into the center of the sphere and create a current independent of what she actually forced to happen. "I have some training to do, but I might end up running messages of some sort. That seems to be the new normal for me."

"I see." He seemed mildly disapproving. "Danzo-sama has introduced new standing orders with the possible emergence of an armed conflict with Lightning."

For a moment, she completely forgot to keep moving the water. Once she'd caught herself, Aiko schooled her face into mild curiosity. Her sudden jolt of nerves had forced her features into studied indifference as a defense mechanism. "Are they interesting?"

It was downright unprecedented for Sai to offer information like this unprompted. Was he passing along orders… or passing along information?

The nuance was an enormous one.

"Not on their own. Others will already know to be prepared for the possibility of an attack on the village center, though it does seem unlikely that Danzo would prioritize that contingency without information implying it is a more likely course of action than the cursory evidence would suggest."

Aiko chewed that over, readjusting the weight on her palm and reaching into the center of the balloon, where the current she'd created on the outer edge flowed fastest due to its short path and slightly twisted the angle that water was spinning at to be more up-and-down than the predominant current.

What could that mean? Was it just Danzo's latent paranoia inspiring him to prepare for the worst possible instance when it would be easier for Lightning to strike at one of their borders? Or did he know something that he wasn't sharing with Tsunade? That was treason in the worst way… If that were the case, it meant that he would rather risk Konoha's citizens than share his informant.

It wasn't impossible that an enemy could completely bypass the protections of their border guard and pierce to the village proper without being detected. She could do it herself, obviously. But it took familiarity with the terrain, a very specific skill set, and a good amount of luck. With the security exponentially increased in light of the new threat, that task would go up even further in difficulty.

Was Danzo really that paranoid?

' _It's very possible. He is highly experienced at considering as many potential problems as possible, even if his solutions are worse than the issue itself. But I don't think that's it. There's something else going on.'_

How could Danzo possibly benefit from this? Was it just that he would retain his informants for future use and he thought there would be no real danger worth risking his resources?

Unlikely.

That would only make sense if he was overconfident instead of paranoid. No, if he was actually assuming there would be enemies within the village, it was because there was no other option or because he thought it was an acceptable risk.

So which was it, and what would lead to each conclusion?

Least insidiously, he could simply have no faith in what Tsunade had arranged for border patrol and village security. Irritating, yes, but not out of character for a man who had formed his own private militia because he didn't trust the man he was supposedly loyal to to do his own job.

Much worse…

' _He might think it was an acceptable risk if he benefitted… and the only possible benefit I could see would be in pursuit of the power he thinks he merits. If Lightning got soldiers all the way in here, it would be easy to argue that Tsunade failed miserably at her job. He could either push for control directly or just undermine her.'_

Unacceptable outcome, she grimly judged. Tsunade wasn't her favorite person, but she was a perfectly adequate Hokage. The Senju woman erred on the side of compassion, which was much less damaging than overcompensating with authoritarian use of power. Danzo was the opposite.

' _I categorically refuse to live under his control. I'm playing his game for now, but if he really became Hokage, then my only option would be to go rogue.'_

Naruto wouldn't like leaving Konoha much. It would put a damper in that Hokage thing.

(She took a moment to imagine what she would have to do to keep him happy in that case. Pick another hidden village and just start killing people until everyone left was okay with making Naruto their Kage? Come on, was he really going to be picky about what hidden village he ruled?)

Probably, Aiko judged grudgingly. He was insufferably stubborn about pedantic details like that.

Then the first thing she needed to do was figure out what she could do about it. This couldn't be taken to Tsunade- not without removing her seal. Sai could tell her about Root's activities because she was in Root (it would be idiotic to make it so that he had to personally give out every order to every soldier) but she couldn't share that information with anyone she knew was outside of that chain of command.

Besides, what would taking it to Tsunade really do? She had certainly already taken what action she could to secure the border. If there was anything to be done, it would already have been taken care of. It would perhaps allow her to be on guard, but not really anymore than she would be while knowing that the Raikage wanted Konoha razed to the ground.

' _Well, all I can do is be prepared myself.'_

But that wasn't true. Aiko swallowed slowly, considering the twenty year old seals in the outskirts of Fire Country.

How long would it take to get a group through Fire Country's borders? At least eight hours of running from the north where they would have to come, even for the fastest, and a group large enough to threaten Konoha would be slowed down by various specialists they'd need. If she had the forest thoroughly coated in seals, she could run a full check alone as fast as she could perceive—spending a hundredth of a second at each location while she was fresh, though that time would decrease exponentially as she traveled. A mental map gave her a quick estimate of how large an area she would have to cover and how many seals she would need.

Sort of a lot of seals, but not really any more than she'd used while fighting Mukade's puppets. Less than hundred-fifty locations would be more than enough for her to scan the entire Northern borders. Konoha would be pretty much impenetrable if they could afford to have a hundred teams just standing around at all the locations she mapped, but that was never going to happen. Manpower and the distance that teams could cover were the real logistical problems with national security in that sense, and neither was an issue when instantaneous travel was introduced.

If she devoted perhaps two minutes to a cursory check three times a day at strategic times… it would be damn near impossible for anyone to enter without her at least being able to provide a warning.

' _How very Big Brother of me to even consider that. It's… it's utterly ludicrous.'_

Would it be possible to modify her seals to include a sensory agent so that she didn't have to do the manual check unless they were triggered? As far as she knew, a Hiraishin was the only kind of seal with the connective qualities that gave her the ability to monitor it at all times from any distance. Normally, a seal meant to detect intruders was only as good at the people paying attention to it, though it meant they didn't have to be sensors themselves. Who would suppress their signature well enough to hide from a seal for eight hours in the middle of a forest? Who _could_?

But she didn't have the ability to do that right now. It was possible that she could figure something out, but it would take time and study.

Six minutes a day (plus the time spent to plant seals along the forests) seemed much more viable and less cost prohibitive in terms of effort and time. It wasn't as though it would be a hardship for her to plant them. Aiko had no need to go out the gates when she already had eight widely spread seals planted throughout the north half of Fire Country.

If Sai hadn't been there, she would have gone to trap the hell out of the countryside now. As it was, she realized that she had been rudely quiet for too long and turned her face up to her companion. "That is something to keep in mind. What might those orders be specifically?"

She asked more for form's sake than anything else. The real information had been in what the prioritization implied, not what Danzo thought was most important to protect within the village. (Spoiler: it was his person and the main government buildings).

As enlightening as all that was (and as much as it implied that Sai was more invested in her than he was loyal to Danzo) she couldn't help but wonder if it was really why Sai had come over. It hadn't been a coincidence that he had been practically waiting to knock at her door when she came home, no way. The timing had been too perfect.

When she let herself smile, the easy way Sai's eyes followed the motion only supported her theory. ' _It's because he liiiikes me,_ ' she sing-songed, unknowingly giving him a smug look that could pass for sultry without her childish inner commentary. ' _He thinks I'm cuu-ute._ '

"Sai-kun? Can we talk about what happened the last time we were here together?"

The face he turned to her was completely blank, but she still felt certain that it was a topic he felt strongly about. Perhaps he was embarrassed that she wanted to talk about it- the way that he'd fled last time implied that he was a little overwhelmed by his lack of experience- but he would not have come back to the personal setting of her home of his own volition if he wasn't actually interested.

' _Unless it was to tell me we had to stop, of course,'_ she added internally to be thorough, though she didn't think that was the case.

"What is there to say?"

Aiko recognized the deflection for what it was: nice and ambiguous. He was attempting to avoid being pinned down and vulnerable by taking the risk of expressing interest first. She was just going to have to suck it up and be honest first, or he never would. That was if Sai even had similar feelings and the ability to understand and express them, no small feat considering his background.

"Well, can we do that again, for starters." She shot him a mischievous look to keep the atmosphere light. "I find you attractive and I like you."

Not the most graceful confession, perhaps. No one had ever accused her of being a skilled communicator of emotional honesties. But Sai was hardly equipped to judge her.

"We can… do that again?"

"Mmhmm."

He gave her an inscrutable look, letting the heel resting on the edge of the couch slide off to the floor.

There was a long period of silence, where she was tempted to push for an answer but ended up waiting patiently.

Sai began to look irritated, which for him was probably a concentrated effort planned out two seconds before he initiated it. "Well?"

"Well, what?" Aiko blinked, feeling like she'd lost the plot.

"Again," he repeated patiently, as if she was an idiot.

It took a moment for his meaning to sink in. Aiko couldn't help but to start giggling, covering her mouth with both hands and shaking her head slightly. "What, did you expect me to just leap over and ravish you?" she teased.

"You did last time," he muttered, surprisingly sullen.

"There's this thing called 'mood'," Aiko educated him lightly, leaning over to tap his nose with her index finger and sprawling out onto his lap, looking up at him indolently. "I'm not a machine, you know, to hold poor, innocent men down and start licking them at a moment's notice."

Sai, a man full grown, with more classified missions and talent under his belt than she could shake her finger at, actually heaved a put-upon sigh. "And where might I learn this mood," he indulged her, gingerly pronouncing the word 'mood' like it was actually the word for 'hideous crime against humanity'.

She had to stop and consider that one. "You know," Aiko started dubiously, "I think it's going to have to be through experience. I can't think of a single outside source that wouldn't seriously mislead you. If I ever catch you strewing flower petals on a bed or trying to sing romantic music, I'll know that you've been led far off the path of righteousness."

It was a rather Gai-esque colloquialism, but hell if it didn't fit.

His dubious expression might have indicated that he was re-thinking this arrangement. "Alright?"

"Well, there is one tip," Aiko added helpfully, wanting wipe that disturbed look off his face. "Physical contact can sort of help turn one thing into another. So, like, cuddling can segue way into making out."

Sai opened his mouth, and stopped that way. He closed it again, and let a thoughtful line form between his eyebrows. He tilted his head slightly to ask, "So, when Dickless and Ugly Girlfriend roll around on the ground hitting and strangling each other…?"

"That _might_ be a mating ritual or it might just be that they like to play wrestle," she sighed. "I still haven't figured that one out yet, either."

"Should we ask?"

Aiko took a moment to imagine whose reaction would be better if Sai were to hunt them down and bluntly ask them if they were harboring unresolved sexual tension. Sasuke sputtered when he was truly furious and turned a truly adorable pink on the tips of his ears, but Naruto was the more conventional choice with his shouting, arm-waving, and imaginative invectives (which had only improved by extended proximity to Jiraiya).

"Get your shoes on."

Why choose just one?

* * *

"Child, you look terrible." Yugao deliberately stopped, gave her an odd look, and added, "And stop smiling like that."

Aiko gave the purple-haired woman who would be her instructor the nastiest scowl she could manage. With the bags under her eyes and her pale complexion, it was a pretty good one.

Uzuki Yugao wasn't about to be intimidated by a little thing like a teenager's temper. She stared back evenly, visibly unimpressed. "You are no good as an agent if you don't take care of yourself. Come with me."

It was beneath Aiko's dignity to outright grumble, but by a small enough margin that it was still tempting. The path Yugao picked through the training facility was long and winding enough that she might not be able to replicate it on her own. Eventually, she recognized the red-lined doors Yugao strode through as if she owned the place.

"There's an underground entrance to the hospital through the ANBU training facility?" she deadpanned. That was just a security breach waiting to happen.

The look she got in return was about enough to make her quail. Yugao threw open a door and pointed at the examination table. "Up."

' _I feel like a dog or something.'_

Hackles metaphorically raised, Aiko sullenly did as she was told. This person was supposed to be giving her training, after all, so she was a superior of a sort.

She regretted her obedience when Yugao's cold fingers gripped her chin to pull her jaw down and peer inside her mouth like she was a _horse for sale_. "Say ah."

"Uh-"

"Good enough for government work," Yugao muttered under her breath not unkindly, placing her fingertips gently on Aiko's upper chest for a reason the Jounin couldn't even hope to guess at. Aiko was still gaping in shock when Yugao leaned and checked her pulse, clinically running diagnostic chakra through her throat, up her sinuses, and then up to her temples before she finally let the minty medical chakra fade (it always felt cool and prickly to her, though Aiko'd heard other people describe the experience as warm and soothing).

Yugao sighed and straightened, her long hair swaying with her. "When was the last time you slept? Or had time off?" Before Aiko could answer, she held up a hand that was anything but delicate, clearly strong with well-earned callous and thin scars. "It doesn't matter; I don't want to hear your excuses. I won't be complicit in piling anything more on you when you're obviously not handling your current issues."

"But you were assigned to train me," Aiko half-asked, half-stated, a little incredulously.

Yugao gave her a stern stare before seeming to decide she was being genuinely confused and not argumentative. Her face softened a little. "So I have, and I will. At my discretion. And my discretion is that you're going to go home, relax, maybe watch a movie or spend time with friends without talking about work or training, and then take a long nap. I have a prior obligation tomorrow, but in three days I will see you here again. And I will be giving you a medical check before I teach you so much as how to flutter your eyelashes, little girl, and I won't even blink if I have to humiliate you by putting you to bed myself. Are you even aware of the consequences of long-term sleep deprivation, in addition to whatever else you've been doing to yourself?"

' _This woman is surprisingly intimidating.'_

Whatever Yugao read in her face (and it definitely wasn't joyous compliance), it didn't stop her from holding up a hand and ticking off points on her fingers as she talked. "Your protein and iron levels are low—eat more nuts, meat, and spinach, or you're going to end up dizzy and sabotaging your own training. Your heartbeat is accelerated because it's working too hard since you haven't let it rest, and I can tell that you've been augmenting your body with chakra for far too long to compensate for lowered reaction time because you can't focus in your current state." She paused. "You are going to burn yourself out if this continues. Do you understand me?"

Aiko shrank back a little, and meekly replied, "I'm going to go eat some fish and take a long nap?"

"Yes," Yugao agreed gravely. "Yes, you are." She leaned in and tugged on one of the locks of hair tumbling over Aiko's shoulder. "Listen up, kid. Your captain should have been watching your back, because it's obvious to me that no one really taught you how to be an ANBU." She held up a hand to stop the complaint that might have welled up, if Aiko were a different person or less bewildered by her forwardness. "Oh, you have the skills and talent, I'm certain, but don't even try to tell me that anyone has talked to you about how to negotiate the demands of this work with outside life, because I don't want to think I got stuck with an idiot who has to learn the same thing twice." She patted Aiko's shoulder twice, like she was a dog or a child, and gave her a look that was somehow amused despite completely lacking a smile. "I'll see you at Tanaka's in a few days. I'll reserve a back room. This place is so depressing, isn't it?"

' _Tanaka's? Like, the coffee house?'_

She felt a little like she'd just been hit over the head with a salmon. Just… that wasn't the kind of thing that near-strangers said to one another. It certainly didn't seem very professional to make a judgment call like that to put off an ordered training session, make personal comments, and then re-schedule their meeting casually like they were friends.

Then again, Yugao-san had been an ANBU for longer than she had. There very well could be something valuable she would pass on to a younger co-worker. And she was a medic, who would know what she was talking about. Failing to take care of a piddling little thing like sleeping might eventually get her stuck in hospital care, and that was just _not happening_. People got kidnapped from there, yo.

"So that's settled. I'll go home and relax," Aiko told herself determinedly, trying to pump herself up for calming down.

There was a problem, however.

' _I do not know how to do that. If I go home, I'll just start thinking about what I need to get done, like planting seals and learning Rasengan and…'_ She stopped, cringing. Was it so wrong that she tended to do things that would benefit her in the long-term instead of in the short-term?

Okay, new plan. She would find… find…

Who was good at relaxing?

Karin? Karin could be counted on to just hang out in a semi-relaxing environs, right? And they hadn't spent time together in a very long time.

* * *

"I don't understand why we're doing this," Aiko half-yelled to be heard over the booming speakers. Some sort of trashy pop nonsense was spilling out into the night air, and probably warding off missing nin from a twenty mile radius around the village.

She'd rather have the missing nin, frankly. At least you could hit those until they stopped making awful sounds sans consequences if they chose to wail about how totally grand and poignant it was to go and see the beaches of the desert (and no, she had no idea what that was supposed to mean).

Karin gave her a pitying look, sleek and sophisticated in a fire engine red ensemble that no one else in the world could hope to pull off. "Just shut up and dance, woman. Hey, thanks!" She flashed a quick smile at Ino, taking the bottled water the blonde had brought back from the bar.

"No problem!" Ino cupped her hands around her mouth to project her voice, already doing something bizarrely sinuous with her hips. Possibly a secret taijutsu technique, because Aiko didn't think she could replicate it if asked. "Are we all going to stay at my house tonight, then?"

"We'd better," Hinata interjected, cheeks flushed a pretty pink with rouge she never would have worn a year ago. "I think Naruto might cry if we keep him up painting nails again."

"It's not my fault his nose is so good," Karin muttered rebelliously.

Thankfully, they let her fall asleep and stay that way for ten hours. She woke up with three signatures on her face in marker, though. Strangely, she did feel a bit better.

* * *

Author's Note

I think that at one point, I misunderstood that Rasengan wasn't wind-natured in its first manifestation before I'd looked it up (I kind of roll my eyes every time it gets brought up in canon). I'd like to go back and adjust that… but I can't find it. e.e

That's one way to tell that I've made this thing too long. It should just be one statement from Jiraiya that implies Rasengan is wind-natured, but having that internal inconsistency really bothers me. Anyone who has read this more recently than I is welcome to point that out, I would appreciate it.

There's a misunderstanding that's been killing me for a while. I was very careful never to say or imply 'seduction' training. The phrase I used is 'sex-specific', as in training specifically tailored for the two sexes to better reflect the varying circumstances kunoichi and their male counterparts are more likely to encounter in the course of their duties. Shizune's explanation should have hinted at the wide range of where I'm going with this instead. Seduction isn't necessarily not an option, but it's not the whole thing or even a particularly relevant issue.

I hate providing spoilers for my own work, so I've been gnashing my teeth over that for a while. Come on, would I really fail you guys by turning to a narrative device that's been used ad nauseam to get plotless sex? Not that I have a problem with plotless sex, but that works much better in a short story.

Sorry for anyone hoping for plotless sex.

One more thing—I thought I'd said this in an Author's Note before, but hints that I didn't keep cropping up in reviews from time to time, so I'm going to say this to be certain. Aiko knows what I knew about canon at the time that I started writing this, and nothing that I learned in the months since when I started watching later episodes and checking wiki pages. Her memory isn't perfect, and a lot of what she thinks she knows is second-hand from sources other than the manga and anime….like fanfiction. So she might even have some fanon beliefs. At this point, she knows some generalities about future points, but that's all, and she's not as right as she thinks she is.

In other words, she can't be blamed for making mistakes like not realizing the exact limitations of Hidan's immortality and why blowing him to smithereens and separating most of those pieces would be effective when super-heating him and reducing him to a mummy wouldn't be.

Come on, is an omniscient narrator really any fun anyways? I couldn't call it an SI at all if Aiko had abilities and knowledge I don't for no justifiable reason other than plot convenience. She's only read the books I've read, gone to the classes I've gone to, and so on and so forth. Hence why (tragically) she's not going to be introducing marvelous new technology or specialized knowledge in pretty much anything that would conventionally be thought of as applicable to a shinobi lifestyle like communication or warfare or even entertainment tech.

Even if that would be really epic. Let's take a moment to think of Kakashi or whoever running around Konoha with his ipod and cell phone. What would he even listen to?

*the smallest violin starts playing the world's saddest song because that will never happen*


	81. Chapter 81

“Nice facial tats.”

Aiko cracked her eyes partially open laboriously and somehow managed to dig deep within herself for the strength to lift a hand and flip Kakashi off. “The marker doesn’t want to come off.” She yawned and gave an enormous, back-cracking stretch that lifted most of her torso off the grass where she’d fallen asleep several hours ago. Granted, she hadn’t tried that hard to get the writing off. Scrubbing at her face _hurt_ , damnit. At least her friends’ signatures had largely faded into dark blurs. Barely visible, really.

When she opened her eyes again, she had to frown. “Is something wrong?”

Kakashi, who was studiously looking up, shook his head. “No, of course not.”

Aiko eyed him warily. _‘I think he gets stranger every time I see him.’_ Just in case, she checked the skyline to see if there were hawks circling or storm-clouds gathering or something else that might draw attention upwards. Nope. Nothing.

Well, whatever.

She rolled over to push herself onto her hands and knees and climbed to her feet, quickly acclimating to consciousness again. She’d decided to be nearly useless for the next couple of days whenever possible, so the time waiting for Kakashi that might normally have been spent on physical conditioning had instead been a sun nap.

“Ugh, my grape juice is warm…” Aiko shook the bottle lightly with a grimace, and then painted on a smile. “Hey, want some juice, ‘Kashiii?”

He looked repulsed, though whether it was the cutesy nickname or the offer of warm juice was hard to tell.

_‘On the subject of horrifying nicknames…’_

“That reminds me,” she added reluctantly. A shudder wracked her body. “The Mizukage said to say hi.”

“And that’s why you look like you just saw a kitten get picked up by a hawk,” Kakashi said skeptically. “When did you see her, anyway?”

_‘Well, he’s asking for it.’_

“I was returning a couple of her toys. And, um.” She cleared her throat and pronounced the next words gingerly, as if slurring them would mean she would have to endure repeating them. “She called you ‘sweetcheeks,’ Aiko relayed distastefully.

There was an awkward silence. A hawk flew overhead.

“So, you wanted to learn the shuriken shadow clone jutsu, right?” he asked, voice half a pitch higher than usual and shoulders hunched inwards slightly defensively.

“Yes!” Aiko leapt up to attention, leaning into his personal space slightly and maintaining eye contact to convey that she was highly alert. “Yes, please.” When he didn’t move, she raised an eyebrow and tilted her head endearingly. “Kakashi?”

He stuffed his hands in his pockets almost violently.

“Okay…” Aiko drawled unsurely. “You’re not acting weird or anything. Do I need to know the original jutsu to learn a variation?”

“Shadow clones, you mean?” Kakashi seemed much more comfortable when given a solid goal. “That would probably be a good idea. I’m sure you’ve seen Naruto do that a hundred times, but just in case.” He held his hands up and into neat version of the cross she was intimately familiar with from Naruto’s spars. “He performs the forbidden variation: the Multiple Shadow clone jutsu, but you won’t need that and it isn’t entirely advisable. As you probably know, he has a ludicrous amount of chakra,” Kakashi said a bit dryly, letting his hands fall down.

No contesting that.

“If you tried the same thing, you would probably end up dead. Unlike other techniques, where you infuse an existing material with your chakra to form a clone, the entire material of a shadow clone is from your chakra stores. It has to be dense, and requires a good deal of finesse. A shadow clone is nearly impossible to tell from the original, in large part because you have to build a chakra system identical to yours for every single clone. It becomes exponentially easier with time, of course, but at first…”

He paused for emphasis, but it wasn’t necessary. Aiko was already paying attention.

“It splits your chakra evenly between all the clones, right?”

“Exactly.” Kakashi rolled his neck, looking bored and sleepy. “So, the more you make, the weaker they are. In any case, back to my original point. Constructing the chakra system quickly and accurately, with tenketsu and all the gates, takes a large amount of finesse, practice, and anatomical knowledge.”

The statement might have been just a little too casual, as if he were mulling over his own expertise, so she had to ruin it.

“Is that what Naruto does?” she asked innocently, blinking up at him.

He scowled. “It takes either finesse or sheer bull-headedness,” Kakashi admitted a little sullenly.

 _‘I probably shouldn’t tease him when I’m trying to get him to teach me two new techniques.’_ That in mind, she flashed him a smile. “I’m dutifully impressed by your expertise in yet another field. What else do I need to know?”

“Not much,” he admitted easily. “The difficult part is tying a chakra shell over the circulatory system and letting it start powering itself.”

She took that as a cue to give it a try. In future, she would have to be able to do this without closing her eyes, but for the first try Aiko took a deep breath and gauged her own system. Replicating it was a royal pain, not least because the chakra redistributed and wavered as she began constructing the copy. It made her a little nauseous, actually. In contrast, the chakra shell (very similar to what was used for a henge, which made her realize how Naruto had come to the trail of thought he had when anyone else would have made a clone and had it _perform_ henge itself instead of making it _be part of_ the clone’s construction) was child’s play.

Feeling triumphant, Aiko gave a violent little pulse of chakra that filled the construct… and instantly felt like someone had sucker-punched her in the gut when the technique vacuumed out half of her chakra. _Knowing_ that it would evenly split her chakra wasn’t the same as _feeling_ it happen.

A shadow clone stood by her left, perfect as far as she could tell. It was hard to feel enthused.

“Yes, that’s the face everyone makes,” the jackass who had definitely not mentioned that problem observed drolly. “I suppose I could have warned you about that, hmm?”

“I think I’m going to be ill,” Aiko stated blandly. “C’mere, so I can yack on you.”

Kakashi took a smooth step backwards, somehow looking amused. “Perhaps later.”

“Really?” she pretended to think he was serious. “That’s awfully kinky. Didn’t know you were into that sort of thing.”

‘ _There, he did it again._ ’ Aiko frowned at her captain in faint confusion when he turned his face straight up again instead of answering. ‘ _Is he just pining for the fjords or what?_ ’ She cleared her throat and considered stepping in to check his temperature. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” He looked back at her, suddenly perfectly normal. “Why wouldn’t I be?” Before she could point out what a colossal weirdo he was being today, he had continued on. “In any case, now that I’ve gone through the rigorous task of teaching the first step of that jutsu, even though you are painfully slow at it,”

“It wasn’t that rigorous for you,” she muttered under her breath.

“I think it’s only fair that I get my answer now.” A mildly pained look crossed his visible eye. “Before I say anything that sounds completely insane, did anything unusual happen on your last mission?”

“Like, say, traveling to the past and ending up in some shithole called Rouran?” Aiko asked dryly, suddenly understanding some of his oddness. He was probably wondering if he’d had a minor stroke or particularly vivid dream or something and worried about bringing it up.

The way he relaxed fed her theory. “Something slightly exactly like that, yes.” He gave a slow exhalation. “What kind of explosives were you using against those puppets?”

The Cheshire cat couldn’t have given a better grin. “Are you saying I figured out something you’ve never seeeen?” she crooned smugly, clasping her hands and wiggling her shoulders a little bit. She’d known that, yes, but forcing him to admit it was sweet. He must have been agonizing about this for a while: there wasn’t really anything wrong with asking, but he had too much pride for it to be easy.

“Yes,” Kakashi said grumpily.

 _‘I was hoping he would let me drag that out,_ ’ she pouted silently. ‘ _I guess he’s not in the mood for a little embarrassment.’_

She sucked in air through her teeth. “You’re no fun,” Aiko informed him, before shaking her head briskly. “It was just my Hiraishin seals.”

He gave her a ‘yeah, right’ look.

“They may be slightly modified and trapped,” she admitted, putting her palms up in a ‘what can you do’ gesture. “and by ‘they’, I mean that all my seals are explosive.”

Kakashi turned faintly green.

“Jiraiya approved it,” Aiko added a little defensively.

He didn’t look very reassured by that for some reason. It only took a moment for his eye to widen and for him to posit a slightly frantic question.

“Does that mean you have an explosive device on two foreign Kage?”

“You don’t have to sound so stressed about it, I have the situation under control,” she muttered, a little irritated by the lack of trust. Aiko crossed her arms across her chest and shrugged one shoulder as she added, “And to be fair, it’s more like Gaara and Mei _are_ explosive devices than that they _have_ explosives on them.” She may as well be honest now that she’d told him a little. He wasn’t about to tattle.

Kakashi covered his face with both hands and bent over slightly. And then he stopped moving.

 _‘I think I broke him,’_ Aiko realized with a small amount of surprise. He always seemed rather unshakable.

After a few seconds of that, she was starting to feel thoroughly creeped out and uncomfortable. “Um… ‘Kashi?” Aiko stepped in and peeled one hand off his face, curling her hand around the tips of his fingers and staring worriedly into the bit of face she could see. He looked distinctly pained.

“Oh, nothing,” he mumbled, words muffled by his mask much more than usual as if he couldn’t be bothered to enunciate. “I’m just estimating how far the Hokage is going to punt me when she realizes what you’ve done. I think her previous record was set with Jiraiya, but I’m lighter than he is, so I think she might easily break that one.”

Oh, boo hoo.

Aiko rolled her eyes and dropped his hand abruptly, freeing hers up to whap at his hair, nearly getting her hand caught in a tangle. “Don’t be such a drama queen. It’s not that big of a deal.”

He actually whimpered.

“Come on,” she prodded unsympathetically, puffing her cheeks out before she continued. “You still owe me a jutsu. You can angst about things that are unlikely to ever happen later. I have important things scheduled for today. If you make me late for frozen yogurt, I will be seriously disappointed with you.”

The dirty look she got in return indicated that she’d gone a little too far, and she jerked backwards. The strangest desire to bare her neck and cower rose up.

 _‘I’m not actually a dog_ ,’ she reminded herself, a little unnerved by the inhuman impulse. ‘ _I don’t show my vulnerable spots to the alpha. That’s not human behavior.’_ Was that a new side-effect of her ninken bond? Or was it just bothering her now because she wouldn’t have challenged him before?

“You should be able to make about the same mass of shuriken as what goes into your clone,” Kakashi educated briskly, seeming to deflate with a sigh now that he’d reminded her he was in charge/gotten over his fit of depression. “It won’t be anywhere near as impressive as what you saw demonstrated until you can manage more clones. You have the raw capacity to make as many as four, I believe, but that would be a pointless endeavor and leave you all but drained. Once you are accustomed to compensating for having only half of your reserves, you can begin practicing making a second clone.”

She’d personally seen Naruto make as many as forty at a time, in a casual spar. Something of her aghast realization at just how much raw power he had must have showed in her face.

_‘I mean, I knew he had more than everyone else. But I have big Uzumaki chakra reserves too, and my limit is four? I’d be almost completely vulnerable splitting my chakra five ways, and Naruto doesn’t break a sweat at making by eight times my limit.’_

“Yes, I know,” he sympathized, faintly amused. “When you really think about it, it’s a bit disturbing.”

“So…” Aiko said faintly, trying to regain her bearings. She hadn’t been lying about having plans, so she really should hurry. “How do I go about making a non-human shape? I know I’ve seen Naruto do that, but I never asked where he learned.”

“I think he figured it out on his own,” Kakashi sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. He collapsed lazily into a cross-legged position on the grass, not seeming to care that she was still standing. A bit awkwardly, she copied him. “Naruto… Well, normally, there’s a bit of a mental barrier between the theoretically simple distinction between creating human, nonhuman, and non-living clones. I would suggest using an intermediary by practicing living beings that do not resemble you and gradually working your way to less complicated organisms. In theory at least, it should be much simpler to make an object with one material and no complex internal structure, but most users actually find it incredibly counterintuitive.”

She had to take that in for a moment.

_‘This is going to suck, isn’t it?’_

“Have fun. I would suggest re-using that clone as many times as possible instead of dispelling it, because you won’t get all your chakra back and each time you make the clone, it will be slightly weaker.” He raised one hand in a silent farewell. “Find me when you’ve managed to create a pile of shuriken, I suppose. The next step will be animation and force.”

* * *

 

“Turns out that splitting my chakra in half and then splitting the other half by various dividends again blows,” Aiko informed blandly, staring into her cherry yogurt as if it held the key to figuring that damn jutsu out. She’d worked her way from monkeys to dogs to lizards to snakes, but had completely failed to manage the step to the noble worm.

Karin was markedly unsympathetic. “I find it hard to want to comfort you for having a little bit of difficulty while learning an A class technique.” She tapped her own plastic spoon against her vanilla treat. “You know, this sounded good, but my stomach is a little unsettled.” With a sigh, she pushed it away and propped herself up on her elbows. “I’ve gotten stuck going through regular hospital work.” She rolled her ruby red eyes. “Majorly annoying. All I want to think about is what sample 626 is doing in my precious lab, but I’m stuck making sure everyone and their great-aunt is up to date on their medical records and shots.”

“Tsunade is getting all her ducks in a row, then?” Mildly interested, she resorted to squishing her treat with a spoon and glanced back up at her cousin. She’d already picked out all the bits of actual fruit, so the yogurt was quickly losing appeal.

Her cousin looked tired. If this was the kind of strain they were putting their medics under to hopefully ameliorate potential problems later if war did break out, it was a shame that only the escalation in threat level had allowed a change in attitude that made it easy for Tsunade to push through the last of her major reforms. At least they would have a truly intimidating amount of certified field medics in the next graduating class to free up more experienced units. In times of war, medics were often hit the hardest. They ran double duty as primary support troops and a necessity on the front lines, where they were often the first target. Not that having a corps promised mainly of inexperienced genin was a good thing, either, but it was better than nothing.

“Yeah.” Karin stuck her spoon in her treat and pushed out her chair, running her free hand through her loose, messy ponytail and heaving a sigh. “My break is over, I need to go. I’ll see you later, okay?”

* * *

 

“That makes eighteen…” Aiko mumbled under her breath, pulling out the continental map she’d gotten after graduation and pulling the pen from behind her ear to make the corresponding mark. No matter how good her mental map was, this wasn’t the kind of situation where she could rely on her memory. Missing just one check-point location would leave a gap for someone to slip through. She had already had the unpleasant realization that her original estimate of how many seals she would need had been off by two and was grateful that she’d taken the time to actually measure out the space. Apparently, she was a better sensor than she was a cartographer. (Is that the person who makes maps or the person who uses them? Aiko scrunched her nose and decided it didn’t matter, because she wouldn’t be great at either).

Really, the most time-consuming part of this was checking off the exact location after she had set it up, making a tiny blue circle around the red dots she had placed in her proposed locations.

Twenty-one. Thirty. Forty-five. Seventy seemed like a nice, round number to stop on, and she had no intention of burning through a significant chunk of her chakra reserves while they were still refilling from experimentation with shadow clones. So Aiko called it a day and went back home, carelessly dropping her map and pen on her bed and showered until all the hot water was gone. Hair secured in a messy bun on her head with chopsticks, she wandered out into the front room in her pajamas and pulled out a book. She was re-reading Icha Icha Hot Springs Fun when she fell asleep, curled up on the couch.

The rest of the seals went up the next day, and she began running a quick check at regular times every 8 hours, just to be precise in her paranoid even if it did mean she had to break up her sleep patterns. She had started to hammer out a pattern after her second time running the route.

For something that only took a few minutes, it was bizarrely tiring. Using Hiraishin took no chakra or physical effort, but she started to feel mentally weary and less alert when she kept using it in short succession. Even stopping for a few seconds helped her seem to get back to a better reaction and perception time, which helped the one time that she appeared a little too close to a Konoha patrol and flickered away before they noticed her. It would be a bit awkward to run into someone else out here and have to explain just how paranoid she really was.

 _‘Come to think of it, I should probably get Tsunade’s permission to do this,_ ’ Aiko realized belatedly. _‘Wow. I am really terrible at this whole ‘chain of command’ thing.’_

It wasn’t so much that she minded following orders in the field as it was that she forgot that she was technically obligated to respond to Tsunade’s commands at all times. The situation seemed authoritarian and stupid sometimes, but if a little visit with the Hokage would keep her from getting accused of insubordination… Well, she wasn’t particularly fond of risking things for no real benefit.

An hour later, she was wondering why she even bothered.

“No, no, I completely understand,” Tsunade snarked, clearly enjoying the break from paperwork to mock her. “You’re great at making decisions. In fact, why don’t you take care of this stack of papers?”

Said stack connected with the desk with an unpleasant thud when dropped from a few inches.

It wasn’t really a question, though Aiko wasn’t entirely certain the Hokage was serious. She’d moved on from educating her about the exact Hiraishin route she should be using instead of what she’d been doing—the same seals, but in a different order—to mercilessly mocking her for trying in the first place. Hadn’t said she should stop, though.

“I mean, since you clearly can make decisions about national security with more certainty than I can, I would really appreciate you showing me how other parts of my job are done.” Smugly, the Hokage cracked her back and strolled casually over to sprawl out on the couch on the other end of her office. “Wake me when you’re done, would you?”

Bewildered, Aiko looked down at the stack she had been given and (uncertain but willing to give this a shot) pulled a pen from the desk. A quick glance conveyed the impression that Tsunade genuinely intended to take a nap…

_‘So she is probably just using this as an excuse to slack and given me something unimportant.’_

Thus reassured, Aiko sat in one of the more comfortable chairs along the edge of the office and tucked her knees up, using her lap as a desktop while she read.

 _‘So… Ebisu submitted a progress report on his genin team?_ ’ Mildly interested, she parsed through it. It was a little anal, but very responsible of him.

She was something like one-hundred percent certain that Kakashi had never bothered to do anything like this.

Aiko rummaged through the stack for the blank papers that would hold comments—what should be done about the report, whether that meant to file it or submit it to another office—and carefully recommended that he be given a raise and asked if he would be willing to conduct a workshop for members of the genin corps similar to the training exercise detailed on page four. Ending up in the genin corps instead of under an elite Jounin sensei was generally a career-ender, as the lack of guidance made it a herculean effort to reach Chuunin, and they really couldn’t afford to waste so many of their resources if they were heading to war. A little guidance from someone who actually knew how to teach could make a difference. Guiltily, she stole a look at Tsunade. If she hadn’t seen the older woman standing a few minutes prior, she might have thought she was dead.

_‘I wonder if she’ll review these before they get sent to the desk downstairs to be enacted?’_

Aiko shrugged the thought away and stapled her comments to the report before setting it aside. If not, it wasn’t her problem, was it?

Tsunade wasn’t blind, after all. She’d served under an enormous troll for pretty much all her shinobi career. The woman should know better than to ask Aiko’s opinion if she didn’t want to get it.

The next report made her blink and check the names on the rest. ‘ _Does everyone but Kakashi do these?’_ Apparently so. Asuma, Gai, Kurenai, and a number of other familiar names had submitted bi-weekly reports detailing training and any troubling behaviors from their various underlings. It seemed that this was a convention that wasn’t solely reserved for genin—anyone who passed on anything but family techniques seemed to have to summarize it.

It made sense that being familiar with her future elite’s abilities would allow Tsunade to most intelligently assign missions.

_‘The very conspicuous lack of information about myself and Naruto might be slightly troubling, in that line of thinking. You know, if Tsunade wasn’t personally acquainted with us.’_

Kakashi probably just thought it would be morally wrong to be more helpful than he was legally required to be, because there was definitely nothing here about teaching her shadow clones and the shadow shuriken thingy that made pretty colors.

(Aiko did a rather poor job of stifling a grin).

Gai’s request for access to training ground 44 on Sunday from noon to eight pm was approved (and she silently apologized to Tenten – _just Tenten, because Lee would love it and she was petty enough to want Neji to suffer a little bit even six years since the last time he’d stomped her in a spar_ — as she stamped it with the Hokage’s seal), Asuma was issued a reprimand for attempting to write-off BBQ as a team training expense, and several other mundanities were taken care of before Tsunade seemed to get bored with pretending to sleep and snatched the work she’d done out of her hands.

“I had a thought,” she began without preamble, kicking out her chair hastily.

_‘Just one?’_

Tsunade sat behind her desk and steepled her fingers, looking responsible and stern a bare instant before Shizune pushed the door open and stepped inside holding a pile of papers stacked on top of a cardboard box.

“Why are you interrupting important business?” Tsunade snapped, as if she hadn't just been blatantly slacking off.

Aiko just about choked.

The brunette looked a bit flustered, but continued inwards anyways, clutching the mid-sized box to her torso. “Please forgive my impertinence, Tsunade-shishou, but these are the finished reports you wanted for the Kazekage and the Mizukage.” She set them on the edge of Tsunade’s desk with a little bow, backing away almost instantly. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a problem in the intelligence office.”

“That they don’t have any intelligence?” Tsunade asked dryly, not even bothering to pretend to be interested in what Shizune had brought over.

Shizune sighed tiredly and agreed, “Something like that, yes.” The door closed behind her with a slight click.

As soon as they were alone again, the Hokage slumped in her chair and closed her eyes smugly. “Nailed it,” Tsunade muttered, before deigning to give Aiko any of her attention again. “Well, since you’re already here, you may as well get going.”

“Get going?” she repeated slowly, raising an eyebrow in a not-entirely-respectful request for elaboration.

Tsunade’s hand moved in a blur she couldn’t entirely follow.

The box Shizune had brought in was heavier than it looked when Tsunade tossed it directly into her gut. Her arms curled up underneath the cardboard to support the weight, but that was about all she could manage for a moment while she wheezed weakly, feeling like an asthmatic kitten.

“The box goes to the Kazekage, and the loose papers are for the Mizukage. When you’re done with that, I don’t really care what you do. Just don’t get stomped by the actual patrols, you insufferable little weirdo.”

Aiko heaved a deep sigh and readjusted the load in her arms. “Chirp chirp, off goes the delivery bird,” she monotoned with a notable lack of enthusiasm. “I’ll come back for Mei’s stuff.” Without waiting for a reply, she tapped a Hiraishin seal onto Tsunade’s desk and set the pile of papers on top of it.

Tsunade made a rude face just as the Hokage’s Office blurred and became—oh, how awkward. “Yo,” she greeted, giving Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari an apologetic smile over her burden. “Is that udon? It smells wonderful.”

“Um, yes.” Kankuro gave her an uncertain look, letting his noodles slip back into the bowl. “You know, it’s rude to come by at meal times.” He yelped when his sister hit him, belatedly covering his head in defense (inadvertently flattening his silly kitty ears.) “What was that for?”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Temari condescended, before plastering on an eye-crinkling smile. “Aiko-san, may I assume those are from Lady Tsunade?”

“You’re good at guessing games.” A bit awkwardly, she shifted the weight in her arms and wished she’d showed up when Gaara was working. At least then it would have been easier to excuse herself. Suddenly appearing in someone else’s house sort of undermined all the rules of household etiquette and left her not knowing where she stood.

Apparently, Temari sensed a similar awkwardness. Unlike Aiko, she took the initiative to solve the problem by tossing a grape at Gaara’s head. His head didn’t turn when his hand shot up to catch up, but she had his attention when she regally commanded, “You should take care of what Aiko-san has brought, they’re probably for you.”

The unblinking gaze directed at her was expectant, so she made the few steps to meet him at the edge of the table—and bemusedly followed him silently to what appeared to be a parlor.

 _‘Is it considered rude to do business at the table?’_ she wondered. Was it etiquette that she had missed because she was a barbarian raised by wolves, or was it just a Suna thing?

“Is there a message?”

She had to think on that one for a moment. “Nope, or if there was, she forgot to give it to me,” Aiko shrugged, fingers going a bit numb from curling around the corners of her burden. A moment later, he took it from her grasp and immediately set it on a table, gesturing for her to sit. Hands freed, she self-consciously tucked a bit of hair behind her ear for lack of anything else to do with herself. His sharp eyes caught the motion, but thankfully he didn’t comment that she seemed strangely uncomfortable in his presence.

Hopefully, he couldn’t tell. It was a bit of a toss-up. She had quickly recovered, but being almost alone with him in a domestic setting was putting her a bit off balance, especially as the interaction was overshadowed by that idiotic mission from Danzo.

“I see.”

_‘He’s so talkative I think I’ll be sick.’_

Against her conscious will, she gave a genuine smile. Well, she could hardly be blamed for making little progress if she spent little time around him, could she? Then again, she didn’t want him to think she was running away from him either. Gaara was definitely the type of man who could sense fear (much like toddlers, those creepy sugar-covered little shits), and such a drastic change in the way she treated him was bound to rouse suspicions even if it didn’t hurt his feelings.

“Well, for future reference, should I be telling Tsunade-sama not to send lower priority messages at this time?” His expression didn’t change, but she felt compelled to continue, “I mean that you’d probably prefer not to find me wandering your house at lunch time, if this is when you usually eat.”

“It matters not,” Gaara slowly said, but his eyes narrowed slightly. She tilted her head in silent request for clarification, but when he next spoke it was to change the topic. “I believe I owe you both my gratitude and an apology.”

It took her a moment to put that into context. “Oh, the whole explosives weirdo and creepy puppet man episode? Don’t worry about it, that’s all behind me now.” Aiko crinkled her eyes up and gave a smile to deflect the tension, but her nervousness was probably visible in the slightly too enthusiastic way she waved her hand to metaphorically dismiss the apology (and hopefully dismiss the stressful topic entirely). “I will be happy, as long as I never see another puppet again.”

Kankuro made a wounded noise from the other room, promptly cut off by something that sounded suspiciously like Temari hitting him upside the head.

“Never again,” she stressed a little louder, not entirely joking before giving up the pretense she was still talking to the mildly amused Kazekage. “If you ever do the creepy puppet prosthetics thing, it’s going to negatively affect our friendship because I’m going to have to cry and hide under a table every time I see you.”

“It’s not that bad!” Kankuro protested, leaning around the doorway.

“It’s supergross,” Aiko rejected flatly, hands flying to her hips reflexively as if she expected an argument. “Nightmarish. Things man was not meant to experiment with.”

“He sleeps with puppets hanging above his bed,” Temari called out helpfully.

Her shudder wasn’t feigned. ‘ _I think I really will have nightmares of opening my eyes to see one of the dead-eyed fucks staring down at me.’_

Possibly the best thing that could be said for Konoha was that they had no puppet masters. Not a damn one. She was willing to thank everyone from Zeus to the Spaghetti monster that Suna was the only place that had figured out the spectacularly creeptastic discipline.

“I don’t think that was necessary, Temari,” Gaara cut in, clearly having sensed that the light-hearted teasing wasn’t quite as funny for her as it was for the Sabaku siblings. Yepp, he’d definitely been practicing socialization.

_‘To be fair, he was probably never bad at reading cues. I think he just didn’t care about what anyone else felt.’_

Aiko heaved a sigh, mildly depressed at the reminder of how sad Gaara’s life had been for so long. “How have you been?”

There was a moment of silence.

“Gaara,” she added, helpfully and belatedly when it became clear he didn’t realize she was talking to him. There was a quiet clatter of dishes in the other room and Temari trailed in, plopping down on the couch opposite Aiko’s seat and dragging Gaara down with her so she could put her legs over his lap. The blonde tangled her fingers in his hair to pet him in what was probably the least dignified thing ever done to a Kage in foreign company, but it made Aiko smile.

_‘They’re adorable.’_

Kankuro tumbled in, but he stretched on one of the other chairs, legs hanging over the side instead of going to sit with his siblings.

The other redhead seemed about as pleased with the quiet declaration of affection as Aiko was enchanted. She could tell, because he bared a few teeth in what was slightly more of a grin and less of a gesture of aggression than the last smile he’d given in her presence.

_‘Improvement. There is definite improvement. Still a bit scary, but I can tell he’s been working on it.’_

“I have been well”. He paused, and slowly added, “Though I admit to some trepidation about the situation developing with Cloud.”

“There’s no need to be a bummer,” Kankuro muttered under his breath. Luckily for him, Temari pretended not to notice. Or perhaps her hearing was poor.

“There is some malcontent among my shinobi about the increasing possibility that we will follow Konoha to war.” His teal gaze was slightly distant, raising to a point above her shoulder. “But there are others who feel a strong loyalty to your home.”

 _‘It’s not really a home so much as the place I happened to get stuck,_ ’ she thought but definitely did not share. Gaara had found a personal mission centered around protecting the place of his birth and the asshats who happened to spawn there. He would not understand her lack of sentimental attachment to Konoha. Aloud, she uncertainly demurred, “I don’t know quite what to say.”

“They don’t know what to say about you either,” Kankuro huffed with a sideways little smirk, eyes amused and looking for some sort of reaction. “Especially since it got out that you weren’t listed as having entered the village, there are all sorts of stupid theories about what happened. After Gaara claimed that you saved him -”

“What,” Aiko said at the same time that Gaara assured, “She did,” and they traded an odd look.

“-to convince the council to let him go after you, half the paranoid old coots who still hate the Fire Country from the last war think Konoha is trying to control Gaara, a fair few of the younger shinobi think everything is just swell and don’t understand why anyone cares, some are _freakishly_ enthusiastic about the implication that Konoha shinobi are just hanging around to fight S class criminals within city limits, and some think you’re secretly married to Gaara and that’s why you ‘just happened’ to be around to help.”

She had no idea what the look on her face was, but it made Temari start laughing. “People are so weird,” Aiko said weakly before burying her face in her hands. The giggling was joined by male snickering, so she just gave the hell up and didn’t even bother to find a lie as she stood. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to escape now.”

* * *

 

Gaara blinked twice, looking at the place where Aiko had been.

“That girl is weird as shit,” Temari muttered, before sighing and adjusting her legs on her brother. “I swear that girl would Hiraishin away from her own wedding if it took too long.”

Granted, there weren’t exactly established etiquette rules about situations like that one, but that was only because no one else had yet been odd enough to utilize a legendary technique for mundane things like avoiding mildly awkward social gatherings.

“I’ll be right back,” Kankuro mocked in a terrible imitation of a girly voice, fluttering his eyelashes. One got stuck in his greasy facepaint, but he continued. “I gotta go hit some people, maybe get some ice cream, do a little shopping.” He wiggled his fingers ominously at his siblings. Temari choked with laughter and turned a truly hideous shade of purply-red.

Unfortunately, Gaara still had yet to develop a sense of humor. At least, not one that allowed for mocking one of his two friends. “I do not think that is an accurate assessment,” he countered, brow furrowing slightly.

Kankuro scoffed pityingly. “You wouldn’t.”

* * *

 

Tsunade lifted her head from her desk and yawned at Aiko. “S’you again? Took longer than I expected.”

“Yes, I apologize.” Ready to just get this over with so she could leave, Aiko picked up the stack of papers for the Mizukage and gave her Hokage a loose salute. “See you.”

Thankfully, Mei was in her office this time.

Not so thankfully, so was Chojuro, and he was a jumpy bastard.

Accordingly, Aiko shrieked and hit the floor, narrowly avoiding ending up a head (and half a neck) shorter. His massive sword cut into the wall behind her with an ominous ‘shlunk’ sound that rather unpleasantly underlined just how much force had been involved in the blow. The only sound was plaster falling and a man cursing on the other side of the wall before the bodyguard turned his nose down, flushed pink, and went to tug his weapon out. “Sorry about that…”

_‘Note to self: even if they can’t see me move, elite ninja can still see me suddenly appear. And that alarms them.’_

Something to keep in mind.

“It’s just not my day,” Aiko grumbled, giving him a dirty glare when she had regained her feet. The missives she had been sent with were a bit wrinkled now, but she passed them off to Mei without even pretending to care.

“Thank you,” Mei said absently, tossing the pile aside and shuffling for a quill. “That does cut down on waiting for a response. Could you take something back for me, please?”

There was hardly the option to say no, so she killed time by glowering at Chojuro. She wasn’t really that fussed, but the way he quailed back from her was mildly entertaining and there was nothing else to do.

“Here you are.” Mindlessly, she broke off her attempt to assert her dominance over Chojuro to take the single letter from Mei’s hand, the ink still drying. “It has occurred to me that now might be an excellent time to take care of the fact that we haven’t recovered our original jinchuuriki, now that it’s been proven that Akatsuki really is after them and has the strength to overcome a jinchuuriki on their own.”

That got her attention. “I didn’t know…”

“That we had another one?” Mei’s smile wasn’t particularly amused. Or friendly. “Well, we haven’t for a while. The host for the six-tails defected during Yagura’s reign.”

There wasn’t really anything to say to that, so Aiko just nodded. “Are you hoping this person will return willingly if fetched?”

_‘The host for the six tails, huh? I have no idea who that is.’_

She was curious, but not curious enough to ask the Mizukage for an explanation she could get on her own.

Mei blew a bit of bang out of her face and leaned back. “It’s a long shot, but that would be preferable,” she shared with little enthusiasm. “He’s rather good at hiding, though, and it hasn’t been high priority to find him. But now…” she trailed off unpleasantly, unconsciously lifting her mouth into a sneer.

“But now that Cloud’s jinchuuriki, the man who was probably the strongest of the jinchuuriki ,got beat like he was the redheaded stepchild, things are a bit different,” Aiko deadpanned, lifting one shoulder in a noncommittal shrug, as if to say, ‘what can you do?’

“Exactly.” The Mizukage nodded decisively.

 _‘Isn’t the Akatsuki’s evil idiocy foiled if they can’t get a hold of even one bijuu?’_ Aiko wondered, taking the letter and giving a distracted goodbye. ‘ _Would they just give up if there was no chance of achieving that goal?’_ A moment later, she passed the information off to Tsunade and waited until it had been read.

“Hokage-sama? Would you consider including me on the joint team for this mission?”

Didn’t the bijuu take a century to reform if their container was killed before they could be extracted or force their way out of the seal? This would be the first jinchuuriki she’d encountered who could be considered expendable. Who _cared_ about a missing nin, really? They were generally considered the scum of the earth.

It was worth thinking about, at least.

* * *

 

“This is the part that everyone wants to hear about first, so pay attention. I’m not going over this twice.”

Uzuki Yugao gave Aiko a thoroughly unnecessary stern look. She had already planned on focusing on the lecture to get it over with as quickly as possible.

After a long moment, the older woman seemed to decide she had been sufficiently cowed and went on. “Safe sex.”

Aiko choked. “What, like wrapping the package?” She wasn’t _that_ naïve. Of course she knew about STIs.

“ _Shinobi_ safe sex,” Yugao clarified, with a faint hint of amusement that indicated the abrupt shift in conversation had been intentional. “Policy is that we don’t care who or what you’re fucking, but we’d prefer if you didn’t end up getting killed in stupid ways. Technically speaking, you shouldn’t trust anyone, but that’s no way to live.” She shrugged one shoulder, sending her voluminous purple hair sliding backwards. “So preferably, only fuck people you trust. If you do find yourself in bed with someone you aren’t certain about, there are precautions. Don’t kiss or lick them—they could be coated in any number of contact poisons or paralytics. That’s a common trick. Don’t end up underneath someone, because you could get trapped. Really, it would just be best if you were certain to restrain your partner so they can’t make handsigns or reach for a weapon. Tie them, or hold their wrists yourself.”

That… That was not sexy at all. Shinobi paranoia was Not Hot, and that was definitely not what it was like in Jiraiya’s novels.

 _‘Good god, does she just think I should knock any potential lovers unconscious? It would be safest, after all,’_ Aiko cringed. Okay, some things just weren’t funny when she was close to the situation, like contemplating habitual date rape as a method of not killing killed by fuck buddies. This was probably the most screwed-up, depressing thing about being a shinobi she’d encountered so far.

“Not particularly interested in that bit?” Yugao asked, infuriatingly amused. Aiko was starting to suspect she was a sadist. “Very well then. Leaving all talk of actual sex aside, you are most likely to have to _use_ the implication that sex is on the table in your career, but it will be more likely that an enemy will try to convince you he has romantic sentiment _for_ you.”

 _‘Ah. There’s the sex-specific bit,’_ Aiko noted with faint amusement. ‘ _They’re using poor psychology and assumptions about supposed biological differences to teach gendered behaviors. Because obviously women are vulnerable to being told they’re loved and men are vulnerable to anyone who seems interested in getting the hot dickings.’_

Bit stupid and simplistic, really, but it would do. Being taught to counter one thing should teach her to perform it as well, in a way.

“I’m sure you did capably in infiltration and acting practice in the Academy, but I’ll need to see you prove that you can recognize various verbal traps meant to subconsciously convince you to trust someone is being sincere, as well as demonstrate competency with types of flirtation and give a passably convincing performance as someone who is comfortable discussing sexual acts.” Yugao paused thoughtfully, before she added, “Or not, as the case may be that you’re playing the blushing virgin. It depends on the situation, really.”

Through role-play with various henge and genjutsu, Aiko gritted her teeth and played different roles, practicing walking sexily, demonstrating interest as if from across a room in a way that a target would notice and pick up on with body language and – _ugh-_ giggling, responding to flirtations, and any number of little behaviors that were apparently expected when trying to give off signals of approachability like ‘bedroom’ eyes and matching her breathing and moving up to the target’s to subconsciously reassure him that they were on the same page.

The acting wasn’t too difficult, but almost none of the little tricks were in her normal repertoire.

 _‘It’s almost like I’m not a particularly approachable girl,_ ’ Aiko mused. ‘ _Ridiculous_.’

Then she really considered it. Was she approachable?

 _‘Eh. It doesn’t really matter, does it? I’m not really interested in anyone who is so easily intimidated anyways,_ ’ she shrugged the thought off.

At least she had been partially right in her cockiness the other day: it was pathetically easy to recognize attempts at emotional manipulation.

Perhaps there was just something wrong with her, or she’d been improperly socialized, because cues that were meant to embarrass her or make her feel self-conscious to leave her vulnerable and desiring approval did nothing but stir contempt.

Flattery made her outright uncomfortable though, and she genuinely disliked it. That might have been cause for Yugao to think she’d done badly in the demonstrations, were it not for the fact that the emotion being flirted with most often elicited was _anger_ (and therefore not something that could be easily used against her in that situation). Justified or not, she felt cornered and boxed in when inundated with compliments.

She wasn’t sure if she was grateful or not that this ‘training’ (orientation, really) was actually more of a lecture with an older peer. There were worse ways it could have been conducted, she supposed.

 _‘Am I a total freak for feeling much more relaxed now that this is over?_ ’ Aiko pursed her lips, actually walking home for once instead of abusing her seals to be lazy. Before she realized what she was doing, she had felt out Sai’s location and begun altering her path towards the isolated outskirts of town where he was.

When she realized what she was doing, Aiko was conflicted enough to stop for a moment and ponder what it meant that she was seeking him out right now. Was she hoping for a booty call? Was she just bored? Was she actually attached?

 _‘Probably not the bored thing,’_ she noted unkindly when she came upon the man she’d been looking for. He was sitting silently on a tree and sketching what appeared to be a bird’s nest on the next treetop over. ‘ _It’s not like he’s a particularly good source of entertainment.’_ He did make a nice image, though, with his black gloves carelessly on the branch beside him and his pale skin contrasting with the greenery.

Didn’t that indicate that she just liked to spend time around him? They weren’t always making out when they were together, but she didn’t feel like he wasted her time. Since she didn’t get amusement from him, it had to actually be satisfaction with his presence.

Thus decided, Aiko sat herself beside him without a word and watched him work.

“Aiko?”

She smiled. “Yes, Sai-kun?”

“Is this an example of an amenable mood?”

Aiko took a deep steadying breath, put a hand to her head, and then opened just one eye to see Sai staring at her with just a hint of what could be hopefulness. “Oh, why the hell not.” He blinked just as she grabbed his hand and took them to the seal in her room.

Something like a third of the time that she tried to use seals around other people to travel to a place that had been out of her line of vision something went wrong. Either she interrupted something, or she ended up doing something like elbowing someone in the face, or someone tried to take her head off with a gigantic sword...

So she was actually surprised to find the two of them sitting on top of her bedspread exactly as she’d planned, still side-by-side. There didn’t appear to be anyone else around to interrupt, either. It was almost too good to be true.

“Is something wrong?” His brow furrowed slightly and Sai turned a piercing look at the closed door, as if thinking about going to check the apartment.

“Nope,” Aiko said cheerfully, popping the ‘p’ sound and feeling unduly smug with herself. “Nothing at all.”

“Oh. That is g-” Sai blinked. “Good,” he finished belatedly from his new position flat on his back. She hummed noncommittally under her breath, straddling his waist and arching her back slightly to place her palms flat on his abdomen. She straightened her back as she pushed them up his torso, luxuriating in the feeling of warm and hard muscle under her palms, bunching his shirt around his chest. She might have left it there, but he helpfully sat up a bit, so she tugged it completely off and let it fall to the floor.

The feeling of his skin against hers was nice. Really nice. So maybe more would be nicer.

Aiko swallowed, mouth dry and heart pounding, and sat straight up.

“Washboard?” Sai stopped a long moment before adding in a slightly strained tone, “Oh.”

She had grabbed the hem of her tank top and completely pulled it up over her head, inadvertently mussing her hair. That she tossed behind her without looking to see where it went before she readjusted her hips backward so she could slink her torso up his and enjoy the heat of his skin brushing against hers.

When she reached the top of his torso, Sai’s dark eyes were the widest she’d ever seen. So she propped herself on her palms with her elbows half-bent and ignored the lesson she’d had only hours ago to press her lips against his. They were surprisingly dry, considering how soft and perfect his skin looked, so she licked across his lower lip and sucked lightly on just the plumpest part of the skin.

He seemed frozen.

So she settled her hips up to create a different angle for her torso and slowly rubbed her bra against his torso in a silent demand for attention, since her mouth was occupied.

Sai obliged her with both hands sliding up the back of her thighs. The roughened skin of his palms caught a little against her tight pants.

With sudden clarity, she realized just how unsexy and unsuited to liaisons her outfits really were. In order to get naked, she’d have to lose the boots that pinned her pants to her calves.

_‘Something to think on later.’_

At least Sai didn’t seem to mind, though it may have been because he had no idea that there was apparently a reason to wear less complicated clothing. Still, skirts. Something to think about. At least she didn’t use bandages to wrap down the edges of her clothing like Ino or Kakashi did.

Though that could be a bit of a strip-tease…

A topic for another time.

He didn’t have much for nails, but the little he had was just enough to scrape down her back and send Aiko shivering. She broke her lips off his and tugged on his left earlobe with her teeth, wondering if he was as sensitive there as she was.

Yes. Yes, he was.

Her teeth broke off when she grinned at his sharp inhalation, so she moved to trace the edge of his ear with her tongue.

What was-oh. In an attempt to be helpful, Aiko stopped moving her torso while Sai’s fingers brushed over the clasp on her bra. She gave a satisfied sigh when the first hook came undone and moved to nose into his neck, giving a quick lick before she bit down and sucked almost violently. He jerked under her and his breathing sped up, but Sai kept his composure enough to continue what he was doing.

The stereotype that men couldn’t figure out bras was clearly just that—a stereotype, because the two sections fell apart and the straps soon slipped down her shoulders.

Aiko shrugged them off and detached from his neck long enough to work the garment completely off. Sai must have been ready and waiting, because he adjusted his position to allow him to see what he was doing at the same time that his hands trailed from her back down to her waist and up over her ribs. His left stopped just under the point of no return so that his inner thumb was brushing her breast, but his right hand was much more adventurous.

“Nn-”

Aiko tossed her head back to get her hair out of her way, eyes momentarily shut to cope with the sensation. “I forget how sensitive those are,” she half-gasped, feeling almost lightheaded. When she looked down, Sai had an almost shockingly smug look on his face, but she didn’t have time to dwell on it before the hand gently massaging at her left breast shot down to her waist at the same time that he adjusted his legs for better stability—and then flipped them over.

She might have protested at the sudden flip (especially since he’d failed to put her head on her pillow and she was nearly pressed up to the wall) if he hadn’t immediately ducked down to indulge a thought that must have been lingering for a while. The first scrape of teeth against the slightly darker flesh around her nipple wasn’t gentle enough and she made a whining sound of protest, wrapping her fingers in his hair with enough force to be a warning. He immediately switched to suction and licking as if in apology to soothe the hurt. Sai was a fast learner, though, god bless his little heart, and the next time he tugged on her skin with his teeth it was much gentler.

He had definitely been paying attention to what she did, because she was going to have a massive hickey from her breast up to her neck by the time he was done, but it was hard to care.

The thing she did care about, however, was that he seemed perfectly content to keep at foreplay for an indefinite period of time. His tongue was still sending clever little thrills up her spine and making her pant, but the jolt of excitement that brought her back from the edge of incoherency the instant that she felt something hard brush against her hip was a definite indication that she was ready for more.

_‘Does he not want to actually have sex? Does he think I don’t want to?’_

She jerked, inadvertently tangling her right foot into her bedcovers when she unconsciously parted her legs further apart in reaction to a particularly delicious movement of his hips against her thighs. It was like he was trying to keep them apart below the waist, even though his body kept moving downwards. Was he trying to restrain himself?

Sai couldn’t possibly have failed to notice that he was more than ready. The evidence of that occasionally brushed against her inner thigh while he worked on her torso with his teeth.

_‘Either he’s really repressed, or I have little self-control, because I am definitely ready to go.’_

But reading wasn’t the same thing as doing, and she wasn’t confident that she could walk the walk as well as she could talk about it. Still, if no one ever did anything, she was probably going to spontaneously combust from frustration. Experimentally, she untangled the fingers of her right hand from the hair at the base of his neck and brought them down his side to curl under his waistband. It was too tight to really get under, however, and he was a little too far down her body for her to reach—so she used her left hand to tightly grip at his hip and pull him upwards (forcing him to bend his torso). Now that her right could reach, Aiko followed the curve of his thigh inwards and pressed her fingers around the curved hardness she found nearby with a palpable sense of victory.

Sai stopped sucking completely. She would be willing to bet a fair bit of money that it was because his jaw had dropped and his brain had momentarily shut down, but it was impossible to see from her angle.

_‘Fuck, this is why no one should ever wear belts. I’m starting a petition to get them outlawed. I have a government position, so I can do that.’_

The damn things were hard enough to figure out when she could see them. As it turned out, unbuckling someone else’s when she couldn’t see it was the type of feat that she should have gone up an extra danger classification for figuring out. Why did he even wear it? It was a tiny thing. Surely the button on his pants would serve just as well.

She outright whined in frustration when she realized that figuring out the buckle and opening his pants wasn’t the end of the trouble: he had a holster secured to his thigh with wrap-around bandages, and they were too tight for her to force down his leg from her angle.

So she slipped her hand into that holster—momentarily rued that she found shuriken instead of kunai—and cut through the bandages and the thin strap underneath, possibly his pants as well.

“I owe you a new holster,” she reassured him distractedly—as if he honestly cared about that right now—and pressed her hand back over his dick. “You know, you don’t have to be so quiet.” Her fingers wrapped around her new toy as best as they could with the thin fabric of his boxers in the way, and she worked at it with her thumb.

Maybe he had been restrained because he thought he wasn’t supposed to make a sound, because he let out a soft grunt when he pushed against her hand, uncurling his torso to press his face into the curve of her neck. He was clearly trying to keep doing his part by licking, but he had lost his rhythm and the erratic attentions he laved on her skin was clearly effected whenever she tried a new idea—like cupping the base, or forcing her hand under the fabric to touch him directly.

Actually having skin-to-skin contact made her reverse the slightly rough way she’d been playing with him: what had felt so hard through the boxers had a surprisingly smooth texture when she actually touched it, and Aiko had the oddest fear that she was going to hurt him.

_‘That’s stupid. Obviously it’s tough enough to take a pounding. That’s what dicks do.’_

(She momentarily resolved to never share her internal commentary with anyone else.)

“Pants off,” Aiko ordered, pulling her hands back, mildly surprised to note that she’d been gripping his hip so tightly with her left hand that her fingers had gone white and didn’t want to move for a moment.

Obediently, Sai rose to his knees, twisted so that his feet hovered over the floor, and slid off to put his feet on the floor. He was already stripping when they hit the ground. It wasn’t hard, considering she’d gotten them halfway down his thighs.

Aiko didn’t have time to watch the show, because as soon as he had lifted off her body she had braced her feet against the bed to lift her hips and unzip her own pants. Belatedly, she remembered the damn boots and extended her feet to slip them off. Sai was watching entranced or eager to get back on the bed but definitely intent, so she hurried to kick off both boots and hooked her thumbs under her waistband even as he gently tugged on the loose bit of fabric at her knees to help them off. She hadn’t noticed when, but he had positioned himself back on the bed on his knees, hovering over her lower thighs.

The realization that they were at the point of no return hit her with a sudden finality and momentarily knocked her breath away. Her heart thumped against her chest with enough force that she either had an instantaneous stroke or suddenly forgot how to process sight, because all she registered was white. That was why Sai was the first one to get his fingers around the delicate fabric of the blue panties she was wearing (and she momentarily wished she’d been wearing something pretty instead of boy shorts).

His eyes met hers. It took a moment to figure out what he wanted, but Aiko nodded. Her chin had barely stopped moving before he was tugging the fabric down her thighs. He abandoned it at about her knees, so she bent her legs one at a time to work the fabric free herself, brushing against his inner thighs as she did so and not caring much.

At this point, she wasn’t sure if she was more eager or terrified. Aiko absolutely did not want to stop, but for an instant she felt as frozen as Sai seemed to be.

_‘Well, that won’t do.’_

She was far too mature and ready for this to freeze up at the critical moment. Aiko curled up on her elbows to open up her range of vision- and sucked in a breath. She didn’t intend to flatter Sai or anything. Honestly, she would have no idea whether or not the dick pointing over her belly was impressive or not. It was the first one she’d seen in real life, and as fucking weird and alien as it looked (because let’s face it, penises aren’t pretty no matter how fascinating Sai found them) she was bizarrely arrested at the sight.

After a moment, she jarred her mind back into motion.

“We need a condom.”

Her heart sank even as the words crossed her lips. How had she forgotten something so basic? She had been trying to get laid for forevvvver. Was she subconsciously sabotaging herself, or just really that thick?

“My wallet.”

Relief washed over her like sunlight from a window.

 _‘Wallet? Well, someone has been hoping. And is better prepared than I am. Ten ninja points to Sai,’_ she thought with an almost delirious high, before the memory that carrying a condom around that way really wasn’t smart rose up for her attention. They were fragile and susceptible to both pressure and temperature. Really, they should be stored somewhere safer.

It would do for now. Next time, she’d have her own.

But he didn’t move. So she raised an eyebrow. “Get it, then.”

He nearly scrambled, leaning off the bed to rifle through the pants he’d discarded. It was the first time she had seen Sai look less than collected, and an unbearably smug satisfaction welled up over her. He really was just a teenage boy, on some level, despite all the awful emotional conditioning and trauma. Even an elite root agent could get a bit flustered by a girl.

The look on his face was nearly heartbroken when he turned around victorious to see that she had re-adjusted onto her knees, and Aiko didn’t bother to hide the genuine, light laugh that welled up. It was as if he thought she’d changed her mind in the three seconds he had struggled with his pants.

“Give me that.”

Sai looked almost stupidly relieved and did as she asked. He leaned in a little too close while she carefully tore open the side of the package, so she placed her palm against his abs and pressed him backwards. “Nnna.”

Apparently, she had given up on words in exchange for bossy sounds, but Sai got the message and stilled, staying on his knees but keeping his torso up instead of leaning forwards when she carefully unrolled the little bit of rubber or whatever the hell it was down until it stopped.

Hands free, she used them both to brace her weight and move her body away from him enough that she could bend down and reach his now-covered dick.

Sai was probably confused as all hell, but both of his hands were suddenly in her hair when she licked him twice before taking his penis into her mouth and laved her tongue around it to wet as much as possible. He might have brought a condom in his wallet, but lubrication? Probably not. She continued the suction as she drew her head back. There was probably a damn good reason people used lubrication, and she would rather be comfortable.

It must have been involuntary, but when she tried to pull off, his hands twitched just a little bit of pressure on her head and pushed her a bit further down. Aiko gave a low hum in warning, which completely backfired on her.

That was the loudest sound she’d gotten out of Sai yet, though, so she didn’t mind the groan. His grip loosened, but she still placed a palm against his hip as she pulled away, bringing her free hand around to hold his dick even as her mouth left it.

“Unh?”

It was the saddest little inquisitive sound she’d ever heard, and she couldn’t help but smile, feeling the happy expression reach her eyes when she glanced up to see just how perplexed her bed partner seemed to be. Considering just how much excellent instructive material he had been reading, he really should know what she’d done. It seemed that Sai was a bit too personally involved to connect the dots and realize why she’d given him half a blow job. “Relax.” She gave a relatively gentle pull with the hand that was still gripping him, as if to reassure him that it wasn’t over.

Her toes curled under so that she could press her feet against the bed, and she slung her free hand around his neck to support her weight (which he barely adjusted to in time to keep them from collapsing) so that she could move her hips further down and straighten her legs. Intentionally, she partially straightened the hand around his neck and shoulders so that she was essentially lying down, and worked her other hand around his still-damp penis, arm trembling with the effort of not gripping too tightly or moving too fast.

Of course, the longer it was away from her mouth, the more it would dry, so there was really no time to waste. “Nnnm.” Aiko tilted her chin up and gave him a pointed look through her eyelashes.

_‘I think I’ve invented a new language of bossy sounds that mean nothing.’_

It worked, though. Sai obediently leaned over her (staring into her face with a nearly frightful intensity) and braced his weight on his hands, aligning their hips as if he’d been born knowing what to do.

Of course, he hadn’t been, so she moved her hips slightly upwards and guided him into her with the hand that had been lingering on his penis for that moment, aligning the tip and then fluttering down the base and settling on his jutting hipbone.

It was _the strangest thing she’d ever felt in her life._

Eyes squeezed shut, she rocked her hips up against his and moved the hand on his hip around to the back so she could hold her partner still. It might not have been necessary, because he still seemed to be adjusting to the new feeling as well.

It was heat and pressure and confusing. She decided that she liked it. That was when Sai moved a little, and she instantly re-evaluated her previous assessment. Being still was good, moving was better.

Her nails dug into his flank in a silent demand, but he didn’t seem to get it. Either that or he wasn’t ready to move. So she slightly adjusted the arms around his neck, letting it fall so that she could rub at the tense muscles with her thumb and flicking her gaze up to meet his. At least, that was the plan, but his eyes were shut.

“Sai?”

He made the oddest sound—a groan that was almost a rumble—and laboriously peeled his eyes half-way open to dizzily focus on her face.

 _‘Ah. So those are real bedroom eyes,_ ’ Aiko realized, with a sudden appreciation for just what the expression she had dutifully memorized was supposed to evoke. It was supposed to be an excellent aid in seduction, but she was obviously a bit past that point. So instead she let her hips fall down a few inches and brought them back up in search of the initial thrill she’d gotten when he first moved inside her. It was the least graceful movement she thought she’d ever made, but it did the trick.

Even better, she didn’t have to do it again. The motion had apparently made up Sai’s mind or drawn him out of his temporary trance or _whatever the hell had been happening,_ because he slunk down from his palms to his elbows and pressed his nose into her neck even as he began slowly moving. The feeling of his hot breath against her skin was almost as overwhelming as the experimentally slow, gentle pace he was adopting.

When she’d thought about sex, she’d thought that the hard and fast pace would appeal to her more. But she was feeling languidly content. As her heartbeat slowed, she gave up on trying to keep her eyes more than barely open, indulging herself by running her hands over all the hot, smooth skin within her reach. Unintentionally she fell into a symmetrical pattern down his back, rubbing her thumbs around his hips, clawing softly up his sides and massaging at the muscles in his arms. It was all she could do to muster up the occasional satisfied sigh and lean up to press closed-mouth kisses against the juncture of his neck and shoulder. He shuddered and gave a much more substantial thrust. For a moment, she saw white pinpricks of light and considered asking if they could pick up that pace again, yes thank you, but the urge faded in the next breath when he fell back into his usual rhythm, slowing stroking downwards with clockwork predictability.

Her heartbeat and breathing had fallen into a relaxed, nearly comatose state, but Sai’s breath was still a bit fast and forceful against her neck. It took her a shamefully long time to realize what that probably meant. In her defense, she was a bit preoccupied and almost stupid with contentment.

_‘He wants to come, but he’s convinced that he has to hit some stupid criteria for how long sex lasts.’_

First probable downside of getting your sex education from a series of novels that had half as many orgasms as it did pages.

“Don’t hold back on my account,” she mumbled, rubbing her fingers soothing over the back of his neck. “If you want to come, do it.”

Permission seemed to be all he needed. The tension fled his back and neck, and the next five thrusts were much harder than the ones before—and then he stopped, pulling his head slightly up to pant on her chest. The gaze that met hers was a bit disoriented, as though he was almost surprised by the force of his own orgasm. Still, he was undeniably pleased. The confusion was blinked away, and satisfaction flooded his features… and his eyes flickered down to her chest again with a hilariously tangible air of delight, as if he was reassuring himself that really had just happened.

“You’re so cute, Sai,” she informed lazily, tugging on his arm. “Throw that away and come back to bed?” Involuntarily, she forced back a yawn, and fought the urge to kiss him just to get him to do something with his mouth—he could open it or close it for all she cared, but he was just leaving it with the lips barely brushing each other.

“Yes.”

 _‘Ha, I get sex **and** cuddles.’_ Covetously, Aiko hooked her legs over his when he came back to bed, tugging the one sheet they weren’t pinning to the bed with their bodies up and over the two of them. _‘I win.’_


	82. Chapter 82

“Not now.” Aiko pushed her nose further into her pillow and tightened her grip around Mitsuo with her right arm. Funny. He was shaped differently than she remembered—less round. And significantly less furry than usual.

Blearily, she raised her head just enough to see dark hair and remind herself that she hadn’t fallen asleep snuggling her dog.

“Oh. Good morning, Sai.”

Her fingers had been outside the blanket and were cold, so she wiggled them under the covers to flatten against his abs. Sai was too disciplined to jolt or complain about being used for his hot body, so she didn’t feel guilty at all.

“May I be released?” Sai sounded surprisingly detached and polite for someone being treated like the world’s tallest teddy bear. “I am under orders to report to the Hokage’s office for an assignment.”

Aiko frowned at that, trying to remember if she was meant to report. She couldn’t think of any call… so that meant he was going on a mission without her. Unusual. “What time?”

He seemed to be attempting to check the time through the mostly covered window. “In twenty minutes, I believe.”

She paused. “Are you already packed for your mission?”

“Yes, but the equipment is at my residence.”

Ten more ninja points to Sai. God, he was good at this game, wasn’t he? He should have been a boy scout. He and Yamato could flit about and be impossibly anal and good-natured, saving puppies from trees and carrying old ladies’ groceries.

_‘Maybe I’m a little tireder than I thought. Something was definitely wrong with that phrase._ ’

“Aiko?”

“If you think you’re escaping without a good morning kiss, you are severely mistaken.” Jokingly, she pressed a kiss against the back of his neck and nuzzled him.

Sai gave a good natured sigh and twisted around to give her a flat look.

She giggled and released him. “Alright, alright. You know you’re going to be late anyways. Just tell the Hokage you’re sorry.”

* * *

 

“I apologize for my tardiness, Hokage-sama.” The little twerp gave her one of those patently false grins. The knuckles in Sasuke’s hand creaked ominously when he unconsciously formed a fist. “I was detained by a fair maiden.”

“My god, it’s catching,” Shizune breathed lowly, eyes wide with horrified fascination.

Naruto was practically vibrating with rage. “Not you too,” he growled, grabbing Sai’s collar and yanking on it. Sai merely blinked at him.

“My apologies. I-”

_‘This has gone on long enough.’_

“I don’t want any of your excuses,” Tsunade interrupted. For the first time, she genuinely rued handing the boy over to Hatake’s team. What the hell was it about that man that inspired devotion and imitation?

She tabled the thought for later.

* * *

 

“And Mr. Ukki needs to be watered every other day, but the begonias can go a week without. They like to be rotated every other day, though, so that they get sunshine everywhere.”

Aiko nodded along and tried to look attentive, even as Naruto detailed how often his mail needed to be picked up to prevent the post office from sending him nasty missives about his full box. Every other day, apparently. He wrote a lot of letters.

“Look, how long are you guys really expecting to be gone?” She raised an eyebrow inquisitively, but Naruto didn’t get the hint.

“I have no idea!” He chirped cheerfully, flashing a toothy grin. “But I bet it’s going to be awesome! I told you we were working with Asuma’s team, right? He’s a wind type too and he agreed to give me some pointers.” He gave a fist-pump. “I’m going to get that wind-natured Rasengan.”

_‘Well, whatever works.’_

She wasn’t particularly broken up about not being brought along on this mission in specific, though the timing stank. Yamato and Sai could take care of the boys, even if team Ten wasn’t there to pick up the slack. How much trouble could they really get into in a temple, for kami’s sake?

“You do that.” Absentmindedly, she tousled his hair (and was a bit miffed that she had to reach so far up to do it. If he didn’t stop growing she was going to put bricks on his head to stop that shit herself) and grinned at the indignant yowl the action drew out.

“Cut that out, Nee-chan,” Naruto whined, ruffling his hair back up into the ragtag arrangement of spikes that he seemed to favor. Personally, it looked utterly without law or order to her, but it wasn’t her hair. He gave her a surprisingly stern look. “If you ever want to be awesome like me, you’ll have to at least get the original Rasengan down, or you’ll never catch up before I make it even better. Even the pervy sage has the first level.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Aiko muttered resentfully, pursing her lips and looking away.

_‘Even the pervy sage? He has a twisted way of gauging competency. Proficiency with the Rasengan is hardly the only measure of strength.’_

“I mean it.” He slung an arm over her shoulders and steered her out of the post office, his free hand gesturing animatedly even though it was full of envelopes. “You can’t give up just because the second part is harder! Even though that’s so weird, because once I had the first part down, the second really wasn’t that big of a deal and I don’t understand why you’re having so much trouble-”

“Okay, okay,” she interrupted. “Feel free to stop insulting me at any time.”

She probably did know why she had gotten stuck on that stupid purple rubber ball she was beginning to hate. This was hardly her first rodeo in regards to free-form movement of water: so as soon as she’d gotten past the barriers of problems created by maintaining multiple currents without letting them bleed into one another, the water balloon had been easy enough to burst. Cockily, she had thought that the second practice aid would be similarly easy, assuming that she was just that good.

Apparently, air currents were very different to manipulate. Moving air in general was hard. Grasping the damn particles was a massive pain, and forcing them to move according to her will sucked. She could make one current, but as soon as she tried to maintain more than that everything fell apart. Using air as a medium wasn’t as intuitive as using water as a medium.

Hopefully she wouldn’t have such a hard time when it came to using raw chakra and no medium, even if it apparently handled more like air than like water.

As soon as Naruto had gone, she flitted off to run through her self-assigned route. She’d had it on her mind throughout their conversation: apparently, she had been sleeping too deeply to wake up at her alarm, and her brother had come to find her immediately after his briefing to ask her to take care of the house while he was gone. So she had been almost two hours late to run her circuit.

_‘It was dumb to stress. Nothing happened, of course.’_

Konoha’s northern forests were just as peaceful and free of enemy nin as they could generally be expected to be.

Of course, that left her not knowing what to do with herself. It was bizarre to be stuck in Konoha when almost everyone she spent time with was out on a mission or working. Karin was in the hospital, Ino and Hinata were probably training, and Anko was nowhere to be found. _‘I suppose I could hunt down Kakashi and see if he wants to eat ice cream and talk about boys.’_

Involuntarily, she snorted. Probably not, though it was incredibly poor timing for every girl she was remotely close to to be out of town. She’d have to wait for Karin to get back in from wherever she was. Well. She supposed she could talk to Anko, but that was bound to end in tears and humiliation. The older girl was hilarious, but maybe not the person she wanted to gossip about her first sexual experience with. Ino or Karin would find it much easier to relate to her current experiences on the same level, and Anko wasn’t maternal enough to be able to empathize with her throughout the barrier of their lack of shared experiences.

_‘So instead of anything remotely enjoyable and useful, I will instead go to that awful meeting.’_

She slumped, not caring that she was walking down one of the main streets and she probably looked like a lunatic about to break out into tears. It had been outright cruel of Tsunade to keep from assigning her to a mission just so that she was in town for one of those council meetings, even if it had been couched as a favor. She’d never thought she’d end up with the inverse of a sinecure. It was thankless and idiotic and took up far too much time.

Aiko probably spent far too much time moping over the fact that she had to go to that stupid meeting. That meant she had to rush through preparations to be fit for public. She had replaced the first mesh bodysuit with one that followed more closely to the design of a swimsuit than the weird things with half-legs and half-sleeves, and preferred it immensely. It didn’t weigh down her limbs but still provided protection to the majority of her vital points. The only weapon weighing her down was the single Hiraishin kunai she carried strapped to the underside of her right arm. It did mean that she had to be careful with how she held her arm to keep it from showing, but it was better than going totally without conventional weapons. She was never unarmed by any means, but sometimes steel could do what fists, seals, or ninjutsu just couldn’t. As had become tradition, she slipped on a kimono (orange this time) and the blue butterfly pin before she hurried out the door at the most dignified trot she could manage.

She spoke her piece early: advocating for a re-design of the genin corps, and then sat while the other suggestions were volleyed. Some of them seemed to completely miss the point to her. What good would encouraging more shinobi to settle down to reproduce early do? Trying to persuade more civilians to send their children to the Academy was a little closer, but still wouldn’t get at the real problems.

On the bright side, there did seem to be a chance that she could make a positive change in Konoha through her assignment. By whose standards that chance might be positive varied, however. Probably not by those of the grumpy old men and women who were her peers in the Council.

At this point she wouldn’t deny that the large council had been right to notice that the current graduation rates weren’t putting the village on track to regain full military strength. They had been experiencing a time of comparative peace for long enough that they really should have been in the full bloom of power for the last couple of years. But they weren’t. Konoha was hardly about to lose their position as one of the five strongest villages, but their large numbers and economic prosperity hadn’t lead to a proportional increase in sheer power.

Sarutobi hadn’t been an incompetent peacetime leader, though he had been better in a time of war. (As far as she could tell, he had been better at warfare but preferred a soft touch). He had altered the graduation and academy requirements after political affairs had settled down between the time of Uchiha Itachi’s enrollment and her own. In wartime, the philosophy had been to churn out as many moderately competent soldiers as possible as quickly as possible, which made it easier for children who had already been trained by family members to meet minimum requirements and test out of the system.

That system had many drawbacks, but the one that mattered to the Council was that it was a short-term stopgap measure. Those unprepared soldiers (who had less mental conditioning, less maturity, less everything that mattered) burnt out faster than their counterparts, cracked under stress and were unable to acclimate to other conditions, or got killed and were totally lost as resources.

Those truths were the ones Sarutobi had used to alter the Academy curriculum and requirements. It became much more difficult to graduate after that, and she didn’t see a single example of a student who spent less than four years in the Academy in the last ten years. It was a stark change from the prior situation, and one that she could appreciate.

But it wasn’t perfect either. Though even the dead-last by the new graduation standards was ahead of the curve for the old requirements, the few elites that the system hoped to nurture had a lot riding on their frail shoulders. The third Hokage must have been a big believer in the master-apprentice relationship at that point in his life, because it was clearly where he had drawn inspiration. Much in the manner that he had been taught by the second Hokage and he had hoped to teach the fourth, the aim was to give Konoha a backbone of A and S-class warriors that would outnumber the high-ranked analogues in other countries through close personal attention to their most promising canditates.

Of course, in pursuit of that aim, they had sacrificed the large proportion of respectably B-classed shinobi that formed the meat of the forces in places like Cloud and Stone and had to make do with masses of largely self-taught C classed shinobi who struggled up to Chuunin from the genin corps instead.

The genin corps as a concept wasn’t unique to Konoha, and nor was the fact that those within it were encouraged to become relatively low level jacks of all trades as opposed to specializing. A genin corps member with the talent to succeed in that type of competency could pick a specialty after becoming a Chuunin and make special Jounin, but that was about the pinnacle of what someone who wasn’t picked to apprentice could expect to achieve.

To her eye, the obvious solution to their low numbers of high level fighters lay in the way that they thought about the genin corps. She did understand that not every child had the raw natural ability of a future elite, and that it wasn’t necessary to push them that way – or even intelligent to think that it would be advisable to try to make everyone perform to such high standards. Someone had to perform the bulk of the low-risk and glory-less missions that paid the bills, of course. For most Konoha shinobi, D and C class drudgery was the characteristic common denominator of their lifetime of servitude to the village and not an episode that was short and quickly forgotten when they moved up in the ranks.

But the reliable drones who kept the village buzzing with prosperity in times of lazy peace became a liability in more dangerous times. They were vulnerable to strike teams from the enemies’ higher-ranked and more specialized shinobi. Having higher quality shinobi in fewer numbers was a great strategy for assaults but a shitty one for defense. So Tsunade would have to compensate by increasing the numbers of lower ranked shinobi on any specific mission. Once their numbers started to thin from casualties… they would be on the defensive.

_‘Actually, she’s probably reinforcing all the border outpost guards now.’_

It would have taken a few days to rearrange all active assignments, and Cloud’s jinchuuriki had only been killed less than a week ago. It would take a full day at the very least for genin and Chuunin teams to make their way to the border outposts. More than that, if they were doing sweeps on their way out, which they just about had to be.

Any half-decent strategist would know that. If she were in charge of Cloud’s forces, she would have gone with a strike force deployed as soon as they’d decided to blame Konoha to hopefully get in before fortifications could be flawlessly tightened—she would aim take out a few high value targets to put Konoha on the defensive, sow panic and confusion. That type of strike could make it possible to wring concessions and force Konoha to back down.

But that was a personal preference. Others might not see the value in anything less than peace or total annihilation. It was admittedly risky to allow your enemies to hold some of their own strength. Not that there weren’t dangers in going for ‘mercy’ and being internationally perceived as weak. Lightning might actually _have_ to challenge Konoha to keep their status. If that was their motivation, then a war in name would suffice. If this really was a vendetta fueled by the Raikage’s sense of loss, however… He would only be satisfied with blood and ash.

Time would tell. But probably not much time.

She must have spoken relatively well, because her suggestion wasn’t tossed out. It wasn’t adopted either, but that didn’t seem to be the way things were done in bureaucracy. Yet another session and smaller committee would be dedicated to investigating the support and logistics available for three of the possibilities mentioned in today’s meeting, hers among them.

Konoha was struggling under the weight of its own bloated government, in some ways. But at least those structures could be manipulated into the occasional bout of usefulness.

Still dressed up like a porcelain doll and not particularly unhappy about it now that it wasn’t a novelty, Aiko wandered out from the council hall en route for dinner. There wasn’t enough time for her to bother getting groceries for dinner before she went out to check the forest in her self-imposed patrol that even she was beginning to feel serious about.

“Uzumaki-chan?”

The unusual address and a voice she hardly ever heard caught her attention. Kurenai was giving her a polite wave from inside the restaurant Aiko had just wandered into, sitting with a blue-haired woman she didn’t recognize.

“Kurenai-senpai,” she greeted politely, gracing the older girl with an incline of her neck. The hastily-chosen title was a formality to be polite and not because she had actually worked with Kurenai enough to see her as a mentor figure.

Kurenai seemed to note the same truth with a bit of amusement. “I don’t think there’s any call for that. We hold the same rank, after all.”

There was something dry but not exactly displeased about the way she said that. Bitterness wouldn’t have been entirely unjustified, considering she was probably hyper aware that Aiko’s promotion had come almost shockingly early in her career. Sure, she was older than Kakashi or Itachi had been when they hit Jounin, but the ‘average’ Jounin could hardly be compared to people like that. And there was probably more than a fair share of bitterness aimed at those extraordinary types, if one was to be honest.

So she didn’t protest, and gave Kurenai a self-effacing smile that was intended to communicate that she wasn’t the egotist that many would expect from someone who had shot up in the ranks. “Kurenai-san, then?” At the amused look on the brunette’s face, she blinked innocently and modified the question to a saccharine, “Kurenai-neechan?”

“That’ll do. Would you sit with us? This is a friend of mine, Otohime. Otohime, this is Uzumaki Aiko.”

“Otohime-san,” Aiko nodded politely, and took a free chair without letting onto her confusion at the invitation. Was Kurenai just curious and friendly, or was there a specific reason?

Looking at her dinner companions didn’t seem to answer that question. Otohime was pretty as a picture, and almost impossibly delicate for a shinobi. The conversation that followed indicated that delicacy was because she was in fact a civilian who Kurenai had been friends with since childhood.

The other two had already ordered, but the waitress that came around didn’t mind having their meals delayed until Aiko’s was ready as well.

“So.” Otohime blinked golden eyes at Aiko, seeming to see right through to her soul. “You’re really a kunoichi, then? Aiko-chan, you’re so little!” She reached across the table and grabbed her hand. Aiko was momentarily stunned by the other woman’s forwardness and didn’t respond before Kurenai chuckled.

“Don’t be alarmed, but if you’re not careful, she’ll talk you into resigning and sign you up to work for her.”

Otohime’s grip tightened around Aiko’s hand, and she gave a faux-stern pout at her taller friend. “What she means is that I recruit dancers, but she makes me sound like a yakuza. Kurenai-chan, why are you so unkind to me?”

Uncertainly, she pulled her hand out of Otohime’s soft, perfumed grip and tucked it onto her lap. “Ah, flattering, Otohime-san, but I’m afraid I have no natural ability.”

The look she received was absolutely scathing. “If you can learn taijutsu, you can learn traditional dance.”

“No, I keep telling you that you’ll be surprised,” Kurenai interrupted fondly, leaning on a hand. “There’s a big difference between learning to perform the dance of death and the less…” she cleared her throat and shrugged. “Well, you know what I mean. Besides, I think Aiko-chan’s current career is going relatively well. I feel like I know you much better than I do because I hear about you every so often. Hatake is insufferably proud of you, I hope you know.”

Embarrassment warmed her cheeks, but she couldn’t imagine him ever saying anything like that. Maybe he would say something to her if she needed encouragement, but he wasn’t the type to brag.

Kurenai must have read the question in her expression, because she easily answered it. “Of course he’s proud, everyone wants to see their students end up doing well. He’s not a man who shares those feelings openly, of course, but whenever Asuma has to whine about Shikamaru-kun being uncooperative he’s always just a little too hasty to muse that he never had those sorts of problems.”

“He is kind of a jackass,” Aiko admitted frankly, forcing the smile off her face. An attractive, intelligent, and ultimately well-meaning jackass, but a jackass nonetheless. She actually liked that about him. Difficult, cantankerous people were fabulous, and his bitch-fu was among the best when he cared to drag his nose out a book to deliver scathing commentary.

Apparently the other two women hadn’t been expecting that bit of bluntness. Kurenai twitched, but Otohime tossed her head back and laughed. “I’ve not met the man, but that’s an amusing character description when juxtaposed with how fond you seem. Perhaps you should introduce me?”

“I like you far too much for that,” Kurenai deflected dryly, before seeming to remember that Aiko was there. “No offence meant, of course!” She waved cutely to deflect a sense of hostility.

Aiko shrugged, forgetting how ungainly the motion would be in formal dress. “None taken. He can be difficult to deal with outside of professional settings.” She stopped and added, “And in them, I suppose.”

Conversation changed after their food arrived, leaving talk of shinobi that Otohime was unfamiliar with behind in favor of the food, weather, and the most recent princess Fuin movie. The focus on anything but the depressing political climate was almost too pointed.

“It was very nice to meet you, Otohime-san.” She genuinely smiled at her two dinner companions when they parted at the door. “And talking with you was fun as well, Kurenai-neechan. Thank you for the dinner invitation, this was much better than eating alone.”

“It was no trouble on my part,” Kurenai assured her, buttoning the jacket she had brought to contend with the night air. “I miss a large dinner party when Asuma’s team is out of town.”

“Oh, that’s right.” Aiko put a finger to her lips in mock thought, itching to confirm a theory. “You two are a couple, yes?”

Kurenai looked like she’d been slapped with a fish. “O-of cour- Where did you hear that?” she rapidly changed tracks, fighting off a blush and giving an ineffectual glare to Otohime, who was engaging in the least graceful hyena cackles Aiko had ever heard.

“From you,” she confirmed blandly. “Before now, it was just a pet theory. I hope to see you again!” Aiko whipped around and set off for home without letting Kurenai recover from her embarrassment, in large part because she liked having the last word. Of course, the setting sun was a reminder…

_‘It’s time that I go check on those seals again.’_

Really, she was starting to feel spectacularly silly about it. It was possible that her fear of Danzo was outweighing her good sense and that she was engaging in a futile exercise.

At war with herself, she wandered to the outskirts of town and took a deep breath of the heady air. Eventually, she decided, ‘ _It can’t be embarrassing if no one else knows about how silly I’m being. If I don’t do it, it’ll bother me all night and I won’t be able to sleep. For my own peace of mind, if nothing else, I can go check one more time tonight.’_

She seriously considered going home first and changing. But it would be a waste of time. She would just have to change into bedclothes as soon as she came back again, and changing twice would be stupid. Of course, she could just change directly into bedclothes, but getting seen wandering the woods in a kimono would still be less embarrassing than the same in her pajamas. It would just be a quick trip.

Flicker. Flicker. Flicker. Seal after seal, working from the village to the borders, showed nothing out of the ordinary. Until they did, and she was blinking at a rush of color to her left. Reflexively, she leapt and turned—which saved her life.

She didn’t take much time to gape at the three blades quivering in a tree-trunk several inches from her torso.

_‘Well, shit. I think I can’t count on the element of surprise.’_

“Where the hell did she come from?” a practically dressed blonde woman seemed to ask her group at large. And it was a rather large group, considering that she was one girl. Two full squads… eight enemy shinobi. Well within the limits of Konoha’s territory… Had they really all managed to creep past a patrolled border, or did this mean that a larger force had actually taken an outpost?

Unsettling thoughts to be investigated later, she supposed.

“Ah, hello adorable Cloud shinobi!” Aiko greeted cheerily with a very Kakashi-esque wave. “I didn’t expect to see you here.” Aiko tilted her head and blinked cutely, letting the loose bits of her hair move over her shoulders.

A dark-haired man twitched.

Confusing the hell out of them might work just as well as surprise. She probably looked quite the picture—unarmed as far as the eye could see, suddenly appearing in their midst in a full kimono with her headband tucked around her blue and red obi. Thankfully, her kimono was only secured tightly at the waist and allowed her a lot more range of movement than it appeared to. If she had to do anything especially acrobatic like high-kicks she might be indecent, but that was a lesser evil compared to dead.

_‘Strangely, I really like the theatricality of this. There **are** shinobi who wear kimono in the field. I do like pretty things, and these sleeves are great for hiding things… Maybe I should give the wardrobe change a try.’_

Unfortunately, no matter how weird she chose to act, they weren’t all off balance enough to fail to recognize that she was a possible threat. “Sorry little girl.” She didn’t recognize the pale man who moved into a defensive posture, but he was a _total fox_ , with incongruously dark eyes and slightly mussed sandy hair. “We can’t allow Konoha dogs to live.”

Suddenly, she hated him. He needed to be taken down a peg or two. Sure, Konoha sort of sucked, but Naruto wasn’t going to settle for being Kage of just any shithole. And besides…

“What’s so wrong with dogs?” Aiko grasped three Hiraishin seals and blurred into motion, dropping directly behind him and yanking his headband off with brutal force that snapped his head backwards and took to the trees in the next motion. Even as she did it, she darkened her chakra signature and went absolutely silent, crouched in the treetop above-head to give herself a moment to think as she slipped the stolen headband under her sleeve.

_‘What do I do? If I kill them all, there would be no chance of reconciliation with Cloud, and that’s if I could even manage that. I don’t actually want to be the impetus for a full-fledged war. The Raikage is attacking us because he’s convinced we’re responsible for B’s death. We’ll need every ally we can get to destroy Akatsuki, or at least to not be fighting on two fronts. I could get reinforcements, but anyone else would probably just want to kill them all.’_

But she couldn’t let them think Konoha was weak either. The only thing that would stall further escalation would be to scare the absolute fucking crap out of them. She did have one tool in her arsenal that was unmistakably Konoha’s and undeniably terrifying.

Grimly, she swallowed. ‘ _Let’s hope that the thunder god is still causing nightmares in Lightning, because most of them look way too young to remember Minato_.’

“Up there!”

_‘He’s a sensor,_ ’ she noted dimly, switching position rapidly even as the practically-dressed blonde woman she’d noted earlier charged up the tree she’d been hiding in. That one must be one of their big guns, then. Odd that she was the only woman in their party.

Stealing the cutie’s headband had been an impulse, but it really wasn’t a terrible idea. Humiliating them could backfire if they were the types to get stronger and perform better when pissed off, but it would also be a good demonstration of strength on her part.

As would separating them. That would be good psychological warfare: if they didn’t know what she was doing, seeing her pick off party members without a trace of a body would be seriously unnerving.

She stopped moving just long enough to hone in on one of the more intimidating-looking fighters (not so coincidentally, one who was on the outskirts of the group) and darted in with the aid of a seal to use inhuman speed to snatch him up by the back of his weird asymmetrical flak jacket and ricocheted the both of them outside of Konoha’s borders. Her left hand shot up to tug off his headband and her right rabbit punched him twice between the shoulder blades and sent him stumbling forward in the same instant that they hit the ground in a new location.

He spun around just in time to see her cheekily hold up his cloud insignia with one hand before tilting her arm to let it slip down her wrist with the other one. “This is nice, I think I’ll keep it, Shinobi-kun.”

_‘That oughta leave him steaming.’_

The curve to her lips belied her thoughts—it was hard to lie to yourself. She’d done that because it was funny just as much as any tactical reason. Killing these people could backfire, but leaving them stranded and confused in some rice field would be an utterly humiliating way of asserting her superiority over them. (Even if, you know, they would probably wipe the floor with her in a fair match. What the hell did actual physical superiority have to do with dominance?)

One of the first things she needed to do was thin their numbers and leave anyone who wasn’t going to end up in Konoha’s custody thoroughly fucking disoriented. With the flying thunder god on her side, she was almost certainly faster than any of them could hope to be. That didn’t mean that they couldn’t get her when she inevitably stopped to get her bearings, especially if she was so outnumbered.

But she had been gone almost two full seconds, and she could hardly leave the others alone within her country’s borders. So she blurred back into motion, Hiraishin war-song drowning out all other sounds in her ears.

“t fuck just-”

“She’s here again!” The only unmarked shinobi in that clearing was frowning in her direction. Damn,    he was a hell of a sensor.

“You’re annoying!” Aiko barked out, grimacing at the hottie who had besmirched her hometown and summon animal in one fell swoop. He had to go. But he was too annoying to be released into the wild to awkwardly stumble until he found someplace to give him directions (as hilarious and embarrassing as that would be).

She crouched and sprang to dodge the blonde woman—and _hell,_ she was fast—and darted to the man who had been a thorn in her side. Unfortunately, he was quick on the uptake and had already moved the first time that she flickered to snatch him in a flanking maneuver.

He didn’t dodge her the second time. He probably didn’t even know what had happened until her hand fisted in the black zip-up sleeveless top above his asymmetrical flak jacket.

“What the hell!” Tsunade stood up with such force that her chest bounced up nearly to hit her in the chin.

“I brought you a present!” Aiko chirped, shoving her blonde captive into the beautiful mahogany desk with an unpleasant thunk as his forehead collided with the dark wood. Belatedly, an ANBU leapt out of hiding and reached for her prisoner.

Tsunade looked pained. “Is that a lightning shinobi?” Her tone was merely incredulous, but that didn’t stop her from reaching out and punching the poor blond chump in the head with enough force to send him flying to the back wall before the ANBU could secure him. Something in their prisoner’s back crunched when he collided next to the doorframe. After a moment, he peeled off and limply fell forward.

She almost felt bad for him. Getting caught up in someone else’s transportation technique was sucky enough when you weren’t immediately pummeled in the head by a Kage afterwards. He probably wouldn’t be walking in a straight line for a few days.

Well. As long as there wasn’t any more head trauma, he would probably be fine.

“Yes, I think there’s six more in the northwest, about twenty-five kilometers south of the yellow outpost. Do you want the rest?”

“In my office?” Tsunade asked a bit weakly. The ANBU securing the chump with wire didn’t seem more impressed. The door flung open and Shizune burst in, wielding steel.

“If you don’t want them, I could just ditch them outside the border like wayward puppies,” Aiko generously offered, brushing her hair back and dropping the two collected headbands on Tsunade’s desk with an absentminded clatter of metal plates. “I should hurry though, I don’t want to leave the rest alone.”

“Those poor bastards,” Tsunade muttered. Shizune just looked confused. The Hokage stiffened seriously and pinned her with an intense stare. “I don’t want any more in my office. Their aim was probably something in the village and we don’t know that bringing them in wouldn’t help them. This one will do as a political prisoner—he’s one of the Raikage’s bodyguards.”

“Grass and Wave Country it is,” Aiko muttered with a distracted nod.

“Wait don’t go back out-” Tsunade slumped slightly, having leaned over her desk in an attempt to reach the teen before she left. “without reinforcements,” she finished wryly, dropping back into her seat. “It would also have been nice to know where exactly she found them. Shizune, get me the best sensor we have in-village, and a strike team.” She held up a hand at a sudden thought. “Two teams! We need to check on that outpost.”

“Hai, Hokage-sama!” Shizune nodded and darted out of the office.

“You, get that man to Ibiki,” she brusquely commanded the ANBU. He hightailed it out of there, the man  called ‘C’ slung ungracefully over his massive shoulder (a tousled blonde head hit the doorframe with a rather sickening crack as Boar made a run for Torture and Interrogations).

Alone in her office, Tsunade swallowed down nervousness and resisted the urge to tug on her ponytails. Sitting her office when she knew one of her shinobi was fighting within her borders was against everything in her heart.

* * *

 

After having two of their comrades spirited away (and plenty of time to ruminate on the odd disappearances) the remaining Cloud shinobi had apparently figured out the working strategy of ‘not staying still’.

It was frustratingly effective when she was fluttering about a group as large as this one. Her perception and predictive ability was good, but not flawless by any means. Being outnumbered and trying to pick out targets put her at a vexing disadvantage.

_‘Why couldn’t they be stupid enough to stand their ground?’_

Time to be a bit more blatant.

Aiko shoved her hands into the opposite sleeves (obscuring the movement so that it would be difficult to tell where the weapon would be coming from) to unhook the kunai on her right arm and drew it out in a snapping motion, directly at the blonde woman.

“Hiraishin!” Someone called out with a strange clipped tone that blurred as she slipped time and space like a fucking champion. She didn’t see who had yelled, but was thankful that using the conventional method had _finally_ clued them in. Now if they would just please be obliging enough to be irrationally frightened of Konoha’s bogeyman technique and scarper off, that’d be great.

She was too close to her target to see if any eyes widened in comprehension or fear. In the same millisecond that she emerged in front of her target with her hand already wrapped around her weapon, she ducked down under the arm that was moving to deflect her kunai with a Cloud arm guard (snatching her kunai down with her) to hit the other girl with as much force as she could muster with her free hand, along with an explosive-primed seal.

Unfortunately, she was no Tsunade. It would hardly be a finishing blow, but she would have hoped to at least stun her opponent. It was not to be.

Even as the force of her blow brought the other girl curling over, a vicious and flexible double-kick snapped Aiko’s knees in a direction that they definitely did not want to bend. Horrifyingly, her opponent seemed to have suddenly grown several inches of razor-sharp toenails that cut into the flesh above Aiko’s knees, puncturing her pretty kimono and sticking it to her flesh with dots of hot blood.

_‘Her taijutsu is probably better than mine. She’s faster than I am sans Hiraishin, and she’s definitely physically stronger. It’s like taking a punch from Naruto, sturdy little bastard that he is.’_

If she didn’t have Hiraishin, she might in serious shit. But short of something like a disorienting poison or a state of unconsciousness, that massive cheat card could hardly be taken away from her. So Aiko avoided the next blow by means of orienting between three seals to settle behind the group (most of whom had spun to look at the two girls).

The gaping dolts weren’t here to look pretty, apparently, as demonstrated by the unpleasant speed with which two men spun to leap in her direction. She darted backwards and ran a few feet up a tree before jumping to another one, raising her voice in a taunting shout. “You know, you chumps have already failed!” She gave an involuntary ‘huff’ when a flying- _was that **an axe of all the things**_ \- forced her to dodge and flip upwards, grimacing and crouching to get the momentum to bound across the clearing over the blonde lady’s head, at least one man in hot pursuit.

At least she was faster than they were, but even if she was faster, dodging so many put her at a disadvantage. “The grumpy one is in the Hokage’s custody, and at least one team is on the way out here. How does it feel to completely suck at your job?”

An incoherent growl rose up from behind her and the unbearable heat of a near miss from a lightning strike seared across her back, probably singing her clothes from proximity.

_‘Ah. Right. Shinobi from the land of Lightning and all that jazz. Can’t stay still if I don’t want to get fried.’_

“I guess that means that it sucks to suck.” Aiko swallowed hard, feeling mildly ill from bouncing around like a ping-pong ball. She flung the kunai in her hand straight up into the air so that she could flicker to it and get an aerial view of the clearing. Three of the freakishly persistent lightning shinobi were already in the motion of looking up when she blinked down. She hung suspended in the air in a crouched position for a bare instant to survey the area.

_‘One, two, three, four… where are the other two?’_

Ah. There they were. One was blending into the tree she had just been on under a genjutsu (that was lucky, he could have killed her if she hadn’t just switched trajectories) and the other one was hiding under ground. Shit shit shit. Neither of those would be easy to grab.

One of the men was slightly further away from the others. That had to be her next target. She drew the kunai close to her chest and snapped it back out in a path that should end a few feet above his head and caught it again a heartbeat later, kicking her feet onto his shoulders and letting her momentum help her ride him to the ground. He hit the dirt face-first in what had to be a painful forwards fall, but the maneuver (and the slight unresponsiveness in her knees that she hadn’t accounted for after the clawed kick they’d  taken earlier) left her on a downward path that was going to end with her knees buckling under and her ass hitting her heels. Her torso wanted to bend forward, but the woman in purple and black was coming in hot.

Fuck, didn’t she ever give up or take a second to react? She was relentless and demonically fast.

Aiko could see how the current tableau was going to play out as if it had already happened. If she didn’t move, that scarily strong woman was going to knock her head straight off her shoulders. (Or cut it off with the freaky claws she’d gained in the last minute-and-a-half. Where did those come from?) There was no chance that she would be able to unfold her legs and jump out of the way in time. Perhaps she could roll to one side or another, but that would leave her vulnerable on the ground in the next second as well.

So Aiko snapped her torso backwards with painful force, flinging her hands over her head up to blindly grab at whatever she could reach of the shinobi behind her, came up with a handful of his hair (and barely missed grasping a shoulder) and pulled on the first tag she felt. That one wasn’t nearly far enough away, so she took the millisecond necessary to seek out the tag in Mist and pull on it and two others.

If she’d done that right, they were probably in Wave. She probably hadn’t, however, since the next thing she knew was that she was soaking wet, having apparently landed on a body of water. Her head collided with the surface with a cold shock and she would have sputtered if she wasn’t breathing in salt water. Her body was still curled up backwards, but at least landing in water gave her the mobility to straighten simply by kicking her legs straight (even though that left her floating face-up instead of in any tactical position).

A blow to the back of her head made her see white and lose her grip on a fistful of short-ish hair.

_‘Right. That guy. He’s still here and conscious.’_

The force of the punch had actually sent her further underwater and would have been considerably worse if it hadn’t been slowed by their surroundings. Her opponent was on top of her in the water, the preferable position. He could very easily kill her.

If she’d stayed, that was. Aiko frantically pulled on the first three tags she could register (by coincidence, the one in Mist, one on the northern border, and one in Grass) and landed somewhere between the three, violently spitting out foul water even as she awkwardly touched down on solid ground with her hastily bent legs. She was probably in Rice country, though she wasn’t about to consult her map. Especially since there was still a fist curled in her hair.

She yanked her head forward and ignored the pain, because the angle dragged his arm up and allowed her to twist just enough to elbow the man behind her with adrenaline-fueled force that audibly snapped a rib. He howled in her ear and let his grip loosen out of shock. It was all the opportunity she needed to turn the rest of the way to push one palm on his chest (planting a seal reflexively) and wrap her fingers of the other hand around the warm metal of his forehead protector. She removed it with the simple expedient of leaping straight upwards and pulling it with her (though there was more than a bit of hair caught in the knot at the back, ew).

_‘What happened to my kunai?’_

Fuck. It had probably been dropped in the water, and she wasn’t in the mood to go back for it.

“Bye bye, asshole!” Aiko bit out with considerably more venom than was strictly necessary. He’d been a bigger pain in the ass than anticipated.

The five Cloud shinobi still in the clearing were inured enough to her coming and going that they didn’t jump to see her reappear. Though there was at least one confused double-take at her dripping hair and clothes. She took a moment to tug the hairpin hanging limply from her skull free and tuck it under her obi for safe-keeping. Damn, that was a good accessory. A lesser bit of jewelry would have been knocked free in a scuffle like that.

“Almost halfway done!” Aiko taunted as she crouched in a ready position, concealing her breathless and mildly lightheaded state from gulping in water instead of air a few moments ago.

“Don’t be so arrogant!” The blonde woman called out in a bizarrely low growl. Hadn’t her voice been much higher a few minutes ago? Odd.

“We should retreat!” The look that accompanied that call was wide-eyed and frankly a bit crazy, but at that moment Aiko loved the older man who’d given it. “If there are more coming, our mission is lost.”

“Coward!” The rasp was all but inhuman. And it frightened the Cloud shinobi as much or more than Aiko did, because all but one of the men in that clearing turned tail to run. “We can’t get our primary target, but there’s a shinobi right there!” The odds looked significantly better for a bare instant, even if she was now mulling over the unpleasant possibility that there was something going on other than murder that she hadn’t figured out.

Then her heart thudded to her gut. ‘ _I’m in over my head._ ’

It wasn’t just that she was outnumbered by high level shinobi. Or that she knew she couldn’t possibly have reinforcements in time to help if this went badly. Those things weren’t bad enough on their own merits, so it was just the cherry on top that she’d never fought a jinchuuriki before.

Well. There was that time with Gaara, but that had been short and she’d had back up. And he had been overwhelmed by his demon into a state of stupid brutality. The blonde woman who had just sprouted the beginnings of a virtual cloak of chakra was definitely in control of her facilities, judging by the obvious intelligence glittering in her eyes and mona lisa smile.

_‘Fuck, fuck, fuckity-fuck.’_

 


	83. Chapter 83

"Nii, stop!"

For one bizarre moment, she thought that the redheaded man was calling the blonde woman his brother. That didn't make much sense, so she was actually slightly relieved to realize it must be her name instead.

Then she had the 'oh shit' realization that she really should have already put together.

_'_ _That's_ _**Yugito Nii** _ _. Cloud's other jinchuuriki. The one who completely mastered her own bijuu.'_

Aiko gave serious consideration to whimpering, maybe covering her face like Mitsuo did when there was something scary around.

It was hard to tell if Yugito was clearing her throat or preparing a painful hairball. Either way, she made an ugly raspy sound before she managed to force out human words. "It's our duty not to come back empty handed. She's not what we wanted, but the jinchuuriki's sister would almost be more fitting than the boy himself, considering Konoha's crime."

' _Would this be a bad time to mention that Naruto isn't even in Konoha?_ ' some dazed part of her brain wondered. Yes. Yes it would be, because he was probably more vulnerable wherever he was than within Konoha's walls. She couldn't have them chasing him down when he only had three others for support.

That was about when her mind caught up to the implication that they had been planning to _kidnap_ Naruto in payback for B's death. It probably wasn't to sit down for tea and cuddles with him either, since they thought Konoha responsible for a brutal and ignominious death. She couldn't have that: anyone who tried to harm Naruto deserved a painful death.

Of course, she didn't exactly want them after her, either.

"If that's what's going on, I'm afraid I will have to take off the kid gloves, kitty-cat," Aiko grit out between her teeth with a strained smile and eyes that were probably a bit too wild to pass as sane. "Pity. I wasn't going to kill any of you, since it was much funnier to ditch your little friends in hostile territory across the continent."

The jinchuuriki inhaled, and then was overcome with a virtual pillar of hot blue light. Aiko blinked just in time to see the manifestation of sheer power split into two, wavering and crackling. "Good," Yugito breathed, fanged and clawed and thoroughly dangerous. "I wouldn't want to beat you when you weren't taking me seriously, Uzumaki."

Her lips thinned. "You couldn't beat me even then."

Even as the words left her lips, Aiko wondered why the hell she'd said that. It was a cocky lie. Yugito would chew her up and spit her out if she wasn't at her best.

_'_ _Time for that later. Wait. Oh my god, I just realized that Cloud's jinchuuriki recognized me on sight. Just because they were briefed on Naruto, or on my own merits?'_

Unsettling.

The look in Yugito's eyes was hard to read, but she breathed in deeply through her nose—and exhaled a blast of fire worthy of an Uchiha from her mouth that must have burnt up her own lips.

Aiko easily dodged, taking to a tree with a quick flip –and a wince at the lingering pain in her knees. She couldn't let Yugito touch her again unless she was getting something truly good in return. The risk was only worth it in return for a finishing blow.

She could run away from this fight without a problem… if she was willing to leave a partially transformed jinchuuriki an hour's sprint from the village. How much damage could Yugito do?

' _An unacceptable amount,'_ she grimly judged.

But if Yugito was so powerful, why would she waste her time with an attack that followed a straight trajectory like that at a relatively low speed? If she'd trapped Aiko first, sure, it could have torn the flesh from her bones in an instant. But Yugito had to know by now that Aiko was fast enough to dodge that.

 _'_ _Ah. That's why._ '

The instant that her feet connected with the tree she'd leapt to, Yugito's attack (shaped suspiciously like an animal) broke apart into hundreds of tiny pieces—and the burning wreckage of the first attack proceeded to demonstrate an alarming disregard for laws of physics like 'a body in motion will stay in the same path of motion' for no apparent reason and zoom around to chase her.

She bit down a shriek when her first dodge didn't steer her totally clear of the barrage and a little spark that stank like burning hair caught her neck. Her next Hiraishin was reflexive, and gave her just enough distance to see that some of the floating bits of fire had been unable to stop before they wasted themselves on the trees behind her first position, but others were already re-orienting towards her.

The solution was obvious: dodge them in such a way that forced them to collide with something other than her.

It would have been a great solution if Yugito wasn't giving an inhuman roar and a chakra flare that seemed to gift her a burst of speed, forcing Aiko to dodge two separate sets of attacks.

 _'_ _Getting hit by tiny fires will hurt. Getting hit by her will be the end of the fight,'_ she assessed, evaluating Yugito herself as the larger threat by far. That was why she flickered to a position that put the flying fire between her and Yugito. Perhaps she could be tricked into running through her own attack in her enraged state.

In the next instant, Yugito slashed through her old position, the tips of her foot-long claws catching bark and cutting through it like it was ice cream. Her booted feet hit the wood on either side of her hands in an impressive display of flexibility and she launched herself bodily across the clearing before Aiko even had to think about dodging the tiny fires.

Aiko actually felt a bit of a chill, despite the crackling heat all around. She'd lost track of the remaining enemy nin sometime in the last few seconds.

_'_ _Let's hope he's either a coward who ran or the gentlemanly type who plans to let the ladies fight it out.'_

She flitted to another position high above Yugito's head, working her hands through a series of seals she didn't often use. Cold pressure began to build in her stomach almost immediately. Without the seals, she was adept enough to perform a smaller version of this technique, commanding a couple bathtubs worth of water from sheer affinity. Aiko had used it not too long ago on that creepy puppet fucker. But Yugito was the type of opponent who merited the real deal.

_'_ _And the dramatics of shouting out technique names, since this is hardly a stealthy ninja fight anyways.'_

The thought might have been slightly hysterical. Still, she readied herself on the second to last seal- and had to Hiraishin again, having misjudged just how speedily Yugito could whip around and the fact that the other woman would _fucking cut down the tree_ with her claws like the world's cutest lumberjack. The scent of burning hair was heavily flavored now with grass, leaves, and even a bit of scorched wood from Yugito's initial attack. She couldn't afford to fight the environment as well as a jinchuuriki.

"Exploding water: Colliding Wave!"

Lucky it was at least a good elemental match-up for her. Thank kami for small favors.

Aiko dropped her jaw immediately as she finished the final seal and poured a truly horrific amount of chakra into the technique, expelling the contents of a respectable swimming pool in an arc over the clearing, soaking Yugito (and sending her flying backwards like a thrown doll for a moment) as well as the grass and flying projectiles. To recover, Aiko immediately took a deep breath to fight off the sudden bout of lightheadedness from burning off a quarter of her chakra reserves in one move and made a fist with her left.

The fist wasn't necessary, exactly, but it kept her hand from shaking when she snaked the largest chakra chain she could manage on an instant's preparation down it.

_'_ _I wish I was more like Kushina. Her chakra chains were so far superior to mine that it isn't even funny.'_

She'd never seen them herself, but she didn't have to have witness Kushina to interpret the underwhelmed expressions of everyone who'd seen her mother's weapons as confirmation that they weren't even in the same ballpark. A woman who had restrained the fully transformed Kyuubi on her deathbed wouldn't have had to blink at a partially transformed jinchuuriki of a lesser demon.

But she would be a pretty poor kunoichi if her response to a dangerous situation was wishing someone else was around to save her. Her skill-set could have been designed specifically for the purpose of restraining jinchuuriki, for kami's sake. She had the speed to avoid devastating attacks and the ability to contain even poisonous chakra from a safe distance.

Yugito was still caught up in the gushing water when Aiko jumped down to ride the wave. It carried the blonde kunoichi backwards a good five meters before she regained her feet and struggled wildly to climb to the top of the current. Aiko caught Yugito around the gut with an intentionally dull chain before she could ready herself to dodge and immediately wrapped it as many times as she could, constricting Yugito's ribs. The older kunoichi, looking bedraggled and pissed with her hair plastered to her face, (' _Haha, wet cat'_ , Aiko thought hysterically,) immediately started testing the restraints and flailing. Yugito tossed her head back and yowled, curling her augmented claws around to tear at what she could reach of the chains. Aiko was forced to keep feeding more and more chains to keep the woman restrained, feeling stress build in her aching muscles from trying to hold a rampaging jinchuuriki.

"Stop. Moving." She gritted out from between clenched teeth, bending the arm that her largest chain was wrapped around slightly to give her a better angle and then used the physical strength she could muster in conjunction with her own control of her chains in order to fling Yugito bodily across the clearing and slam her face-first into the ground in a skid, twisting and spinning to lift her immediately again and send her crashing through a tree at an angle that might have broken a hip.

She still had that seal on Yugito's gut, but it was her safeguard. Without any idea of where Yugito's demon seal was, doing anything that might shred it or interfere would be reckless unless she had no other option. So she shouldn't put any more seals near Yugito's major chakra gates. Besides, with the way that jinchuuriki regenerated, having a Hiraishin to exploit later might be more valuable than a one-time explosion that would destroy her seal.

Super-enhanced jinchuuriki healing and strength or not, blunt force trauma was still enough to stun the jinchuuriki of the two-tailed cat.

_'Now I see why people thought these chains were so good for restraining bijuu.'_

"Dayyyummm," Aiko huffed, a grin tugging up one side of her mouth despite herself, smashing Yugito face-up into the ground with force that created a small crater before heaving her up again to smack against an outcropping of stone that audibly cracked one of the jinchuuriki's bones. Which one, she couldn't be bothered to guess. "Even my third-rate jutsu is enough to hold a lame-ass like you."

Yugito just yowled through what had to be a broken jaw, bloody spit flying from her bared teeth.

Aiko almost felt bad, but kept the older woman in motion, hoping that she would just stop regenerating. The chakra cloak Yugito wore was flickering after each impact. With any luck, that meant it was on the verge of failing. 'Unconscious' would be a huge step-up for Yugito, as far as Aiko was concerned. She didn't want to bring a dangerous enemy to anyone else and risk other lives, but she would be remiss to let a hostile of Yugito's caliber go in search of another target either. It was starting to seem that she had the situation pretty well under control. A third chakra chain had snaked around the larger mass to pin Yugito's arms, so there would be no jutsu she could use to free herself.

Just two more hits caused the faltering chakra cloak to fall entirely. Aiko kept her chakra chains intact and tight as she cautiously picked her way over to the fallen jinchuuriki, conscious that it might be a feint. She didn't react when Aiko tugged off her cloud headband, which pretty well settled for Aiko that she was well and truly out of it. Losing the public declaration of your loyalty… that was awful, a symbol of total defeat. No one with any self respect would allow their headband to be taken without a struggle. Her pulse was still going strong, though, which left Aiko in the unpleasant position of having to come to a decision on what to do with her.

Anyone highly placed in the chain of command would dictate that she took Yugito back to the village like she had that blond sensor. She would be an incredibly valuable commodity for trade with Lightning. They couldn't just let her be lost.

But taking her… that would seem to prove every negative claim that the Raikage was making about them. It might well push other countries into believing his fear-mongering talk that Konoha was out to steal their jinchuuriki. Konoha would be beset by far too many enemies.

War would be stupid, even more so than usual. They just couldn't afford it when the Akatsuki were the real threat. It would be far worse if they were fighting more than just Lightning.

Killing Yugito… That would technically be absolvable, since she had been intruding in their country and engaged in combat with a marked Konoha soldier. No one would contest that she'd had to kill Yugito to control her. Cloud would be furious, but no one would honestly take them seriously if they tried to complain about one of their soldiers being killed in combat. It was a risk of being a shinobi. It wouldn't dissolve the tensions with Cloud, but it would undermine their main defamatory claim as well as setting back Akatsuki's goals.

If Yugito was killed while her demon was dormant, it would perish with her. Sure, it would probably re-form, but not for an extended period of time.

Her fingers ran gently along Yugito's face, positioning on either side of her jaw. One good twist would end all this stupidity. There were some things even a bijuu couldn't fix, and this would be instant. Painless.

Squelch.

_'_ _I forgot about her backup. I can't believe I forgot about him.'_

Aiko's heart fell to her gut even as she twisted her head to see the man who had just touched down in the scorched swampland that the clearing had become. He was sprinting towards her, holding a blade in each hand.

She jerked her hands down to break the connection to the chakra chains, letting them dissolve on their own and dropped down below her opponent's guard to give him a punch to the junk just to share how she felt about him.

At least, that was the plan. Aiko blinked stupidly as her fists passed through the man that she only belatedly realized was a genjutsu.

"You tricked me," dropped from her lips. She felt strangely cheated.

The slim man who gathered Yugito up in his arms and took off for the safety of the border didn't even give her a backwards glance. He'd come out of hiding to retrieve his comrade.

_'_ _What was the point of that? He knows he can't possibly out-run me. I'll just Hiraishin. I can kill him from behind without any opposition, and then take Yugito to do as I will.'_

The plan was simple, obvious, and all but fool proof. The jinchuuriki of the two-tails was broken and within her grasp. All she had to do was reach out and take it.

But she didn't. Aiko straightened, and watched the loyal Cloud-nin flee thoughtfully. That was one brave mother-fucker. He really should have just run away and left Yugito to her fate. It would have been the intelligent action. But… She was a lot more impressed by this, to be honest.

 _'_ _I suppose my time might be better used if I went to check on the outpost and saw what was going on than if I beat down one brave idiot and a woman I've already smashed up and down five ways to Tuesday.'_ She frowned. _'_ _Still. Even if I do let them live, I can't leave them unsupervised within Fire Country. I have to chase them all the way out. Or take them myself.'_

She took off at a run behind the fleeing nin, pushing just until she had them fully in her sight and zinged forward with a rush of Hiraishin power, barely stopping in the real world before she slipped back into the flat dimensional space and deposited the man she was gripping by the knot of his headband onto the soil of Grass country. Immediately, she leapt backwards as he awkwardly swept around to try to hit her, eyes wild.

The look in his face when he saw that she'd backed off was baffled. The line of blood from the scrape his headband had left as she'd torn it off only enhanced the expression. (Hey, she had a pattern going. Consistency was important).

"Hurry home now," Aiko said quietly, letting the glee of her earlier fight fade. "Don't come back to Konoha, or I will have to kill you next time."

_'_ _I might get in trouble for this. But my original reasoning still stands. And kidnapping a jinchuuriki would only enflame things at this point. Killing her… there's no longer any point, since she's been defeated.'_

To hell with the potential consequences. There was a more immediate concern, in the form of the outpost that this group had crept past.

"I think you owe me the favor of a question." Intentionally, she let a twig crunch under her foot when she pressed forward.

The conscious cloud shinobi didn't so much as flinch at her approach, eying her calmly. Yugito hung limply over her comrade's shoulder, blood dripping slowly from her mouth. If the man in front of her was intimidated, he was too good to show it.

"The outpost. Did you sneak past, or are they dead?"

Aiko could see the pulse jump in his neck. She found herself perversely interested in how he would respond. Would his pride forbid he share information, even though he suspected she could kill him? He wouldn't have run if he trusted that he could win a fight against her.

A surprisingly melodic voice gave her answer, though he didn't seem happy about it. "No one is dead. We were intended to take the first two high-value targets available. If we got lucky, the Senju woman would be choking on her own blood now."

"And my little brother?" Aiko prodded sternly, letting a hint of cruelty creep into her eyes. "Was that the plan for him too?" He had to see the irony in killing someone's little brother to revenge the Raikage's, even if that had been a source of black amusement before encountering someone who actually cared about the boy in question.

Her opponent was honorable enough to look a little shamed at being called out like that, but firmly stood his ground. "No. Konoha owes us a bijuu. We were going to take him so that a seal master could get us what you took. His death would be a side effect, not the aim."

She'd thought as much.

Quietly, she shook her head and let a bit of sorrow cross her face. "We didn't do it, you know. I hate Akatsuki as much as the Raikage should, and I don't even blame him for lashing out in his pain." Her expression firmed. Maybe she was better at intimidation than she'd thought, because whatever he saw in her eyes made the shinobi shift backwards. "But anyone who so much as touches Naruto is going to live just long enough to wish that they hadn't."

It was a promise, not an idle boast.

She didn't let him respond, flickering back to the closest seal to the yellow-painted outpost. (The paint was inside, not outside. Yellow was poor camouflage in a forest). He probably hadn't lied to her, but it would be negligent not to check for herself. A few minutes of running brought her within sight of friendly shinobi. Aiko intentionally slowed, both out of politeness and a sense of the pragmatic. Hands raised, she moved to call attention. "Hello!"

"Halt!"

_'_ _I'm not moving, dumbass.'_

Aiko instinctively raised her arm guard to deflect the shuriken that came swinging her way… and only belatedly realized that she wasn't wearing arm guards. She was wearing a kimono. A kimono that now had a shuriken sticking to it. She stupidly blinked at the blade puncturing her flesh for a moment.

"Shinobi-san?"

Her voice was curiously flat, but the man who had leapt out to meet her seemed to have registered her affiliation. "Yes, Uzumaki-san?" he asked meekly, seeming to stare at her arm.

And he knew her too. Glorious.

"You can damage my dress, but you _incompetent twats_ couldn't manage to notice **_eight Kumo_** **-nin** pass your stretch of the border?"

Maybe it was unnecessary to raise her voice, but she was just at the end of her goddamn rope. And one jumped-up border guard dope had just managed to do more visible damage to her as any one of the foreign shinobi she'd just fought. A Chuunin. A shuriken-happy Chuunin.

Kami. How embarrassing.

She'd chalk it up to fatigue and the fact that she'd trusted her allies not to act like jackasses if anyone asked.

* * *

"-reckless, idiotic, short-sighted-"

Aiko did her very best not to betray that she was struggling to stay awake. Tsunade was doing an excellent job of scolding her, she really was. It was just that the mixture of light bloodloss and the fading adrenaline high had her feeling something like a dirty sock. Limp and in need of a wash. Failing that opportunity, she would settle for collapsing on the floor. It was starting to look pretty appealing. What pretty carpet Tsunade had.

_'_ _I shouldn't have come back here. I could have crashed in the outpost and dealt with this later.'_

Who would have been cruel enough to drag her out of bed, after all? Maybe Karin… Tsunade… Yamato… Hmm.

_'_ _I need nicer friends.'_

"-should hit you until you start learning how to wait for orders-"

She winced a little. There was a point there. She'd even been in Tsunade's office. Another second or two to be told to take another person for back-up or even just get the okay to go back out wouldn't have killed her. It wasn't like there had really been a possibility that Tsunade would have let the intruders go uncontested.

"-have any idea how risky-"

Yes, yes, it had been risky, but it had been a controlled risk. Tsunade was starting to sound like a broken record. Being a shinobi always meant putting yourself in dangerous positions. The difference between fighting foreigners on orders and fighting them without it was a stupid one. Yugito probably would have stomped the collection of Chuunin in the outpost if they had bothered to be competent enough to notice her. Why shouldn't she engage in a fight she was much more suited to than those who had orders for it?

(The criticism definitely wasn't fair. Once they'd left her sight, she hadn't been able to sense the intruders either. They'd had an amazing chakra specialist and had all been high-level enough to move silently and speedily even while evading patrols.)

"I know that it looks like I didn't think things through at all."

Tsunade blinked, apparently not expecting the quiet interruption.

"But I didn't want to kill any of them, and I thought that anyone else might not understand my reasoning on short notice. In addition, I am uniquely suited to removing threats non-lethally."

"Translation, with the stick pulled out of your ass?" Tsunade asked dryly, twisting a pencil around her fingers.

"I can Hiraishin them out of our borders so that they can't do any damage without actually having to fight them and risk getting hurt or hurting them."

The muscle under one of Tsunade's eyes twitched. "You do realize that this put you in danger, even if I do concede that it was less danger than it would be for anyone else? And that hardly explains why you chose not to kill any of them. I never took you as a soft touch."

"Akatsuki is our biggest threat, not Cloud," Aiko bit out crisply. She didn't seem to react to the way that Tsunade face-faulted at that blasé dismissal of a country on the verge of declaring open war against them. Even if they weren't, sending a raiding party meant that Konoha was going to be pushed towards declaring war themselves.

Then again, Aiko might have been onto something. If she'd let that task force gain entry and harm Fire Country citizens, Tsunade would be compelled as Hokage to force war. But as it was, all Lightning had committed was unlawful entry into the country. That was an offense worth sanctions and fines, but not a call to war. Cloud had been humiliated, but the diplomatic situation hadn't been worsened, since there were no casualties on their side either. They would be furious about both the snub and the hostage, but they would either have to abandon C to Konoha's tender mercies (giving them plenty of time to wring him for information) or agree to treat with them. If nothing else, it would delay the grind towards war while the Raikage figured out what he wanted to do.

"And you didn't want to be the impetus for a war?" Tsunade finished dryly, looking up to scan Aiko's face and realizing that the Jounin had just about fallen asleep on her feet while she'd been thinking.

Tsunade heaved a sigh. The next thing Aiko realized was that she was stepping back from an invasion of her personal space, and a warm hand was tilting her chin up so that her turquoise eyes met with Tsunade's honey colored ones.

"You're not really listening, are you?" She sounded a bit exasperated, but not really angry. A self-effacing sigh escaped, and she let Aiko's chin drop. "I suppose that serves me right for keeping you here instead of sending you off to the hospital. I'll lecture you again later, little idiot. For now…" Tsunade seemed to consider her next words carefully. "Good job. I don't like the way you took everything upon yourself, but you still saved Konoha some trouble. I think it might be time to go public about your parents."

Aiko blinked at the apparent non sequitur, wondering if she'd fallen asleep without realizing it.

Thankfully, an explanation was forth-coming. "That information was suppressed to keep you two safe from your parents' enemies," Tsunade pointed out clinically. "You and Naruto are both large enough targets that I think we can safely count the blissful period of your political invisibility to be over. At this point, you could benefit more by riding on your parents' reputation. It could very well make enemies less willing to tangle with you two. Yes, the more I think about it, the more I like it…"

Uncertainly, she offered up a shrug. Then she wished she hadn't, because her head spun a bit. Even stupid little wounds from nasty toenail claws, minor burns, and shuriken stab wounds would apparently bleed enough to be a bother if left untreated for long enough. Though maybe the problem was from getting hit over the head, now that she thought about it. "Whatever you say, Hokage-sama."

It wasn't like Aiko wanted to argue.

"Ask someone in the waiting room to walk you to the hospital, kitten." Tsunade –shock of all shocks- gave Aiko a brief hug and then a poke to the tip of her nose. "Since there's no need to send out the second team, I think that makes the most sense. Thank you for reporting on the outpost, by the way." She reached into a jacket pocket and withdrew the two headbands from earlier to tuck into Aiko's hand, patting it closed around the fabric. "And take your crap with you. I don't want to get involved in your weird trophy-taking."

"It made sense at the time," Aiko muttered resentfully, making a move to pocket them and then aborting it to stick under her obi instead when she realized she had no pockets. "And I don't plan on doing anything weird with them. What are you thinking, that I'll decorate my apartment with them?"

She stopped with her hand around the doorknob. ' _That actually sounds kind of hilarious, now that I think about it. I'll need a lot more than this…'_

"Out!"

Aiko went.

The group she saw when she pushed open the office door and half-stumbled out (mostly kept standing by sheer stubbornness, now that no adrenaline was hiding the pain in her knees from that insanely strong woman's kick) didn't exactly light her heart afire with joy.

_'_ _Tsunade was going to send Gai's team as the reinforcements?'_

Her initial reaction was skepticism, but she pushed that down. They were a goofy looking bunch, but very powerful in their own way. They probably would have done much better in that fight than her biases wanted to think.

Tsunade's voice carried out from the office before she could open her mouth to ask for help. "You aren't needed after all, since miss independent here decided she'd rather fight eight cloud-nin on her own. Someone take her to the hospital."

Aiko felt strangely indignant about that summation. It wasn't inaccurate, perse, but…

"I would be honored to assist a fair maiden!" Lee leapt to his feet, not appearing even momentarily depressed by the false alarm call to a mission or remotely interested in Tsunade's claim that she'd taken on eight enemies at a time (not exactly accurate, as what she'd done had been one-on-one and like half of them had run off anyways). He gave her a painfully bright grin, paired with a thumbs-up pose. "Let us go to the hospital!"

_'_ _**Never** _ _.'_

That was far too much cheerfulness for her to be saddled with right now. No way, no how. Aiko ignored him completely and begin to drag her aching carcass across the outer office herself.

No one seemed to notice her slow escape.

"An excellent suggestion, my handsome young apprentice!" Gai chuckled with obnoxious volume, apparently not noticing that the middle-aged secretary appeared to be considering leaping across her desk to strangle him. "You are a true gentleman!"

"Gai-sensei!" Lee grinned, twitching to face his mentor and opening his arms up for a hug. "Your praise honors me!"

A warm hand grabbed hold of her elbow, and she smelled pine. "Come on," Hyuuga Neji sighed, not sounding particularly enthusiastic. "I assume that you do not wish to wait for them to be finished."

Aiko managed to squint at him. It wasn't quite a glare, but it was the best she could do at the moment. He appeared to be immune, however.

"Wait for me!" Lee called good naturedly, rushing to open the door. Something in Aiko's eye twitched. He was acting like she was dying or something. Hogwash. She had minor injuries and a need for a nap. This parade was ridiculous.

"Oh, don't be like that." Tenten swung an arm around her waist and began steering her down the hall against her will, chattering inanely all the while. She was freakishly strong as well. "Was Tsunade-sama joking? I mean, I think we would have heard, but then I guess we did if that's why we were called out here."

_'_ _Oh god. Stop talking.'_

She managed to give the room at large a piteous expression, hoping someone would come save her from being sandwiched between far too much cheer and doom 'n gloom Neji.

No one did, but thankfully the nurse chased Lee and Tenten off. Neji had disappeared almost as soon as they'd passed through the hospital doors, like he was some sort of vampire who needed an invitation to go further or something. Still, she'd grudgingly admit that he was a bit less of an ass than she remembered.

 _'_ _Not like that's high praise. He was a total jerk when I had class with him… six… years… ago._ ' Aiko winced, letting a young iryo-nin clean out her minor wounds. ' _I'm being a hypocrite. How petty is it to hold a grudge about how he hurt my feelings in elementary school by being better than me?'_

Pretty insufferably petty. She couldn't very well hate him for something like that if she wanted to convince even herself that she'd matured.

Maybe she could still despise him for his insufferably pretty hair, though. It had brushed against her shoulder when he'd helped her down the stairs (even though she totally didn't need the assistance). It was as soft as it looked, regrettably.

She sort of wanted to yank on it, hard.

"Uzumaki-san? Are you with us? Your eyes are unfocused."

"I'm here, I'm here." Aiko blinked rapidly in an attempt to stave off tiredness. "Do I have a concussion?"

The medic paused for a moment. "You didn't report a head injury." When directed, she tilted her face down and warm fingers combed through her hair, trailing minty chakra.

* * *

Aiko woke up to a warm mass on her feet. That was unusual (not least because she didn't remember going to sleep), so she cracked an eye open and sat up.

_'_ _I only recognize one of those dogs.'_

She closed one eye, squinted, tilted her head, and even tried blinking rapidly. Nope. There were still two dogs sleeping on her lower legs.

That was hardly out of character for Mitsuo, but she'd thought he had the manners not to invite a stranger into her home. Or hospital bed, as the case appeared to be.

"That's Hōseki," a familiar voice blandly informed.

"That's nice," Aiko stalled, still a bit confused. "Why is a dog named Jewel sleeping on my feet?"

"Because you need sensible supervision, apparently." There was a slight edge in Kakashi's voice at that point. She winced away from it.

_'_ _Is he… is he mad at me?'_

Aiko didn't notice that she slumped into a slightly defensive posture, curling her shoulders inward, but he did. "Kakashi?"

The meek little peep of his name deflated the majority of his irritation. But still, some things had to be said. "You nearly got yourself killed." She looked like she'd been hit, cringing inwards and drawing her knees up to her chest. He didn't allow the steel to fade from his tone. "You could have had backup in an instant, and you didn't bother. I'm disappointed that you didn't even tell the Hokage except as an afterthought. Why? Do you think you're invincible? Or do you just not trust any of your comrades?"

At this point, Kakashi actually felt a little guilty for berating a girl in a hospital gown. But if he let this go, her behavior would only get worse. She was capable, but taking on eight opponents at a time when she'd had the ability to instantly travel to back-up was insane and spoke either to a dangerously stubborn one-mindedness or a far too developed sense of independence.

 _'_ _Well, at least she still respects me.'_ It was mildly bitter comfort, since his proof was that she looked devastated to receive the harshest criticism he'd ever given her.

"I…." She cleared her throat quietly, tangling her fingers into the fabric of the sheets. "It's not anything like that. I made a tactical decision based on my analysis that I was best suited to the situation and didn't want to involve someone and get them hurt. I didn't want the Cloud shinobi killed either. It would have made tensions even worse."

"Not good enough." He averted his eyes, because watching her shrink away from his words actually made him uncomfortable. "You're a Jounin now, and people depend on you to make responsible decisions, even when it's hard and it means that you will have to worry about others getting harmed. That's their job, and they have the right to do it. You can't afford to play the lone hero, no matter how good you are at it. Everything worked out this time, but it could have easily ended with you dead and eight shinobi infiltrating. Do you understand me?"

"Yes." Her tone was a bit clipped now. Perhaps her temper was waking up.

"Good." That duty done, Kakashi allowed his spine to bend and he relaxed against the wall, watching the gentle rise and fall of two sleeping dogs breathing. He hadn't entirely been exaggerating about Hōseki- another one of Pakkun's recommendations. She was a bossy little thing, by all accounts. She and Aiko might do each other good. His tone softened on the next words. "Don't make your comrades worry unnecessarily, Aiko. Naruto rushes head-first into a fight too, but that's why he's still a genin. I know that you can control your impulses. Next time, get at least one of us. I promise to help you out, even if I'm really busy doing my hair."

A strange giggle-snort sound escaped from her general direction, but she didn't seem cheery.

It was a massive guilt trip, but he didn't regret it. If it would keep her from making the same stupid mistakes he had, he'd say harsh things.

Wanting to protect your comrades was noble, but going over their heads like that disrespected them more than anything else and displayed ether dangerous overconfidence or lack of regard for her own well-being. Either was a possibility, unfortunately. Both options were bad. Worse yet was the possible truth that she was just becoming used to working alone and it genuinely didn't occur to her to trust others to help her. That would be a dark road to walk.

But not an entirely unjustified conclusion, unfortunately. Kakashi grimaced because the words left a bad taste in his mouth, but forced himself to admit, "I know that your team has let you down lately, myself included."

Perhaps _she_ hadn't known that, because her head immediately shot around to stare at him and Aiko looked frankly baffled.

"I never even tried to talk to you about what happened in Sand. That was wrong." Self-conscious, he scratched at the fabric of his pants with a nail. _'_ _I'm a terrible captain. No wonder Tsunade is having Yamato lead team seven more often.'_

"I don't want to talk about it," Aiko shut him down flatly. "So don't worry. It's fine."

"I can't force you," he admitted easily. His casual tone was at odds with the sweat on his palms. Kami, he hated having these sorts of conversations. But he wouldn't let himself be relieved that she didn't want to talk about her experience. "But I should have offered from the start. And I definitely should have made certain that the boys knew not to joke about the situation."

Aiko stiffened and he knew he'd hit a nerve. "K-…" Unsteadily, she took a breath and rubbed fiercely at the back of her neck with a thumb. "Kakashi, may I go to sleep now? I don't feel well."

It wasn't the most graceful avoidance of an uncomfortable topic he'd ever heard, but at least it was probably true. "Of course," he demurred, moving to stand and walk out of the room. "Take care of Hōseki, would you?"

He already knew she would. Pakkun had been the one to diagnose her problem, and Kakashi trusted the ninken's sense. According to Pakkun, Aiko was looking for more pack, trying to fulfill roles she hadn't known she needed. It was a natural part of the transition to adolescence to adulthood, apparently: redefining boundaries and relationships. Right or wrong, Aiko didn't see Naruto and Sasuke as equals as much as she did little brothers who needed to be protected. That was already clashing in some potentially ugly ways with their growing senses of independence, but the part that was currently relevant was the fact that she didn't really have many people she considered friends or peers on the same hierarchy level. If she couldn't allow herself to be vulnerable in front of Naruto and Sasuke (not an unwise decision, unfortunately, after the way they had unintentionally tugged at sore wounds by teasing her), then she had to have someone else for the role.

Pakkun's reasoning had also included an amusing character analysis that he was _definitely_ not going to share with Aiko. Apparently, she was a Shiba Inu on the inside: Highly suspicious, destructive, aggressive, and likely to take off chasing after an interesting scent without care for the consequences.

Couldn't contest that. _At least_ two of those tendencies were at play in this recent debacle. If taking off on a chase after eight opponents didn't expose an aggressive personality or that she had little care for consequences, he didn't know what would.

He learned more about what Pakkun thought of Shiba Inu than did about Aiko, frankly, but the character assessment seemed sound. Perhaps the ninken was also correct in that having a real Shiba Inu around would help channel Aiko's less positive tendencies in productive ways. Either they would get along like a house on fire or clash in ways that made them both see how silly they were being.

(Kakashi took a moment to wonder what character flaws his pack was meant to compensate for. Pakkun had introduced most of them to him as well).


	84. Girl Meets Doge

A pounding on her door woke Aiko up far before she would have liked to return to consciousness. She tried to ignore it, but two sets of grumpy little dog eyes peered up from the end of her bed to glare at her to make the noise stop. Whoever the rotten bastard outside was, he just wouldn't go away. Bitterly, she pulled her comforter off the bed (inadvertently up-ending the smaller dog) and over her shoulders like a cape and trailed out to the front room to yank the door open and glare at the idiot on the other side.

"What the hell do you want?"

Karin was unimpressed. "Are you seriously still in bed? It's eight in the morning." She pushed her way into the apartment without invitation, blithely disregarding the disgruntled expression on her host's face.

' _Of course I know the time, but I can sleep in on my day off.'_

Or, at least, she could have if Karin hadn't come over. "No, do come in," Aiko monotoned, letting the door shut and slumping in defeat while her cousin shed her shoes and moved into the kitchen.

"You're almost out of tea," Karin informed her practically, going through her cupboards and then to the refrigerator. "And… I think this milk is expired." She gave it a cautious sniff and then gagged, holding the plastic away from her face as though she thought it was an explosive. "That's some foul shit right there."

"I've been busy?" Aiko defended weakly, taking the proffered container and pouring the remains down the sink before rinsing it. "Why are you criticizing my pantry, anyway?"

Karin rolled her eyes and slammed the fridge door before pushing her glasses up on her nose compulsively. "Because I was going to talk with you about your plans for your birthday over breakfast, but I guess we'll have to eat out."

Before she knew it, Aiko found herself corralled into real clothes and pushed out the door of her own home. As if to make sure she didn't wander away, Karin linked her arm through Aiko's elbow and kept up a non-stop commentary on the way. Somewhat unwillingly, Aiko learned that the twins apparently weren't going to get away with going to the yearly festival that was always held on October tenth for their birthday. Karin brought up some salient points—like that this was the first birthday Naruto was celebrating in Konoha in years—and some not so great points, like her arbitrary insistence that a 16th birthday party was more important than the ones that had come before it.

"Oh, by the way." Karin poured an obscene amount of strawberry syrup over her pancakes, light glinting ominously off her glasses. "Why did the team that rotated back from patrol duty yesterday think that you'd been in a fight in the outskirts two days ago?" She cut her pastry into strange geometric shapes with her fork before painstakingly selecting one to eat.

"Because I did? Why did you hear about that, anyway?"

What awful gossips.

Her cousin looked unbearably pleased with herself. "I know everything, Aiko." She leaned over the table and widened her eyes so that the whites were showing. Karin grabbed Aiko's hand to prevent her from recoiling, and slowly hissed, "Evvvv-ryyyy-thiiiing."

"Well, that was weird." Aiko yanked her hand back to her chest defensively, but Karin just gave a little snort of laughter and went back to her food.

"Anyway, did you seriously think that no one would know anything? There was an update in alert status, which could only mean that Cloud had tried something. The only question was where, since they obviously didn't make it to the village, since there weren't any sirens." Karin shrugged, letting her fork scrape against her plate rudely.

' _Karin likes the whole 'wartime procedure' stuff far too much'_ , Aiko mused. It wasn't that she liked the increased danger or anything. Karin was just a very orderly person. She positively thrived on things like the uber complicated system for keeping shinobi in the loop that Aiko never paid attention to.

And planning birthday parties, apparently. Aiko couldn't even imagine a universe where she cared about such a thing, but if it got Karin off her back...

* * *

Aiko narrowed her eyes. The pretty little lady in front of her pulled a lip up into slight snarl, leaning further inwards. Aiko leaned in as well, using her superior height to loom, awkwardly contorting so that her elbows were pinned between her bent legs and her torso. After a long period of silence and stillness, Hōseki issued a grumpy little whine and looked away, breaking eye contact.

The human in the room was far too pleased at having cowed a small dog.

Mitsuo huffed and covered his eyes with his paws. He would never understand bitches. They could work out who was dominant later. Right now, it was an excellent time to go for a run. That had been their plan, after all, until his packmates had gotten distracted by the need to have an argument about the optimal arrangement of the cushions on the couch. He rather suspected that it was more an issue of territory and a front for a larger argument and not that either of them simply couldn't bear the idea of letting the other have another pillow.

Especially since neither of them had noticed when he'd dragged the item of contention off with his teeth and lazily shredded it. Problem solved. He sneezed, dislodging the last of the tiny feathers that had somehow gotten up his nose. Ponderously, he dragged the tattered fabric to the kitchen and shoved it under the table.

One benefit to Hōseki's presence became clear once they actually managed to get out the door: she was obscenely fast and pushed the pace. Mitsuo let his tongue loll out happily, feeling the wind created by their speed tug his fur and whip under his vest, sending delightful shivers across the fur on his chest that so seldom felt fresh air. His paws burnt before too long, but he was learning to ignore the pain of soft puppy pads turning to callous.

Hōseki would be good pack, yes. Not a fighter. No. But she spoke fluent two-leg and loved the chase.

A fly buzzed near his ear when they stopped, and Mitsuo lifted his head away from the cool drinking water Aiko had provided to snap lazily at it. The thing fled.

He gave a doggy grin, letting the sunshine warm his teeth. Good run, yes. Vaguely, he noted that his packmates were conversing, but it was in two-leg and rapid enough that following would be a bother. A sniff revealed a person he had not met before was approaching. New person! New person to smell and to meet. Mitsuo leapt to his feet, not even realizing that his tail was already wagging with enough force to knock Hōseki clean over if she was unwise enough to get too close.

His first evaluative sniff determined that this wasn't one of the two-leggers with the bad animals. Good. Aiko had _ruffians_ for friends—toads and snakes and… and… _cats_. Mitsuo shivered, nose bothered by the memory of feline stink. The motion followed through as a brisk shaking of his coat that cleared out the bad associations from his mind.

Oh. Forgot was meeting new person. Apologetically, he gave a cursory lick to the hand that was stretching cautiously towards his face and shoved his nose under to let them know that they were allowed to pet him, yes.

* * *

' _At least he doesn't look too put-out at having dog spit on his hand.'_

Still, Aiko gave Iruka-sensei an apologetic smile and reached out to still Mitsuo, who was begging for petting in a manner most unbefitting a trained killer. "Good morning, Iruka-sensei. I hope you're a dog person."

"I haven't been before, but perhaps that was a premature judgment," he replied good-naturedly, bending to scratch behind Mitsuo's ears. She winced away from the loud thump of a doggy foot against the wooden bridge they'd stopped on. That was highly undignified. "Who is your handsome friend?"

"That's Mitsuo," she introduced, before swiveling to indicate the suddenly reserved dog lurking at her right side. "And this is Hōseki. Mitsuo, Hōseki, meet Iruka-sensei. He was my teacher in the Academy."

"It's nice to meet you both," Iruka gamely offered, despite the fact that his welcome seemed a bit lukewarm on one end. "Are you enjoying the morning? It looks like it's going to be a beautiful day."

"I don't have time to enjoy," Hōseki replied testily, hackles raising slightly. "Am taking my human for a walk."

Aiko covered her face with her hands and didn't know what to say to that. Her impulse was, 'I don't need to be walked,' but that was just opening up a can of worms by dignifying the assertion with a response. Worse, it might end with a well-meaning reminder from Iruka about the importance of regular exercise that completely missed the point. He was either a gigantic troll or completely clueless and she had no idea which it was.

"Well, I would hate to interfere." Iruka was smooth, and straightened with an amiable expression as if he hadn't just been told to fuck off by a Shiba Inu. "I hope you enjoy your walk!" He left quickly. For lack of anything else to do, Aiko drained the last of her bottle of water and emptied out the little dish her ninken had been using before she put both containers back in the small backpack she carried for that purpose. It was far too hot to risk dehydrating her furry companions on a workout.

The small dog's attitude improved immediately, and she gave a little leap, moving to face Aiko and crouching slightly before performing some bizarre, wiggly dog dance that Aiko couldn't interpret.

' _Must she dance right now?'_

"I scared off," she announced proudly, before darting forward to lick Aiko's dangling hand. "We go run now?"

"You did indeed scare Iruka-san off most fiercely," Aiko dryly confirmed. "But he wasn't an enemy."

Hōseki tipped her head to the side, little ears perked. "But you did not want talk," she pushed crossly, picking her paws up and down as if the ground needed to be punished.

"Not particularly, but social obligation is part of being human," she sighed, running a hand through her hair and decided that her ponytail needed to be fixed. The band was slipped onto her wrist and she tipped her head forward as she gathered up the mass, finger-combing out the worst of the tangles as she went. "I didn't _dislike_ talking with him either. When you meet someone you don't know very well, the convention is that you exchange some pleasantries before parting so you know that you're still on good terms."

Mitsuo pulled his head up to give her an accusing stare at her for that statement.

' _Oh come on, is_ _ **the dog**_ _really going to lecture me about human social niceties?'_

Aiko glared at him through her bangs, but dutifully added, "I'm not very good about it, to be honest. But I think it's considered less offensive to leave than to chase the other person off."

' _Probably. If not, I don't care.'_

The Shiba Inu took a moment to think. "Should I bring him back here? He wasn't moving very fast. I can catch." She bared her teeth and crouched to take off running, as if to illustrate what she would be using to convince Iruka to return. Aiko bent down and scooped the dog up before she could take off at a sprint, just in time for impatient little paws to skim the ground and start wiggling furiously.

"Maybe later," Aiko said dryly. Automatically, she adjusted the dog in the crook of her elbow and snuggled her like a hefty teddy bear. Mitsuo whuffed in laughter, trotting over to lick Hōseki's face where it was dangling in the air.

' _I don't think that'd be any better.'_

At least she was trying to understand.

All three of them perked up at the same instant. "Lockdown sirens," Aiko noted, clipped. Knowing what the sound was didn't tell her what was going on, though. "Come on, we need to find out what's happening."

* * *

"Lightning zombies," Aiko said numbly, wondering if information that made more sense would be forth-coming. Naruto seemed to think that pretty well covered things, however. She tried again. "You went off to the fire temple, made a friend, and now… lightning zombies attacked Konoha?"

"That pretty well covers it, yes," he piped up, kicking his heels against the legs of his chair.

She covered her face in her hands.

"You make my head hurt. Please stop talking."

"My thoughts exactly," Sasuke grunted, sullenly scuffing his toes against the floor of the waiting room outside the Hokage's office. "This whole episode was painfully stupid and I can't wait for it to be over."

Aiko opened her mouth and then closed it again. She didn't want to know any more. Whatever had happened, Yamato and Sai were both quiet and scuffed-up from it. The more that Naruto tried to explain about fighting monks and grave-robbing and corpses with special lightning abilities, the less sense that the world made. Sure, she could believe that the whole tawdry affair had somehow concluded in an attack on the village that had lasted all of ten minutes and she hadn't even gotten to be involved in, since that explained the state of alarm, but it was just inconceivable that some idiot had attempted to wipe out Konoha with four zombies. In what world was that plausible?

' _Don't think about it. You'll just get dumber.'_

She rubbed at her temples. When that didn't help, she stood abruptly. "You know, I can talk to Tsunade-sama later. I'll just let you guys go to your de-briefing."

"Don't be ridiculous," Shizune cut in, causing everyone to look at her as she swept across the room. "Your errand is bound to be much shorter than theirs." She cast a tired look at the sheepish men folded into the child-sized chairs in the outer office. "Come in, Aiko-chan."

"Right."

She followed the medic to the door. Shizune appeared to give not one single fuck for convention and respecting privacy. She proved that by pushing the Hokage's office open and striding in confidently. Tsunade looked up, clearly in conference with no less than three masked ANBU operatives. "Oh, it's you two," she said unenthused.

"My apologies," Shizune started, completely unapologetic, "But I think you'll need this." She passed over a manila folder casually.

"And you?" Tsunade asked dryly, giving Aiko a long-suffering look. "Are you here to make trouble for me?"

"I actually had a thought about the… trophies," she picked delicately, "from the other day. I was hoping I could see the subject I delivered to you that day to confirm a scent sample."

She had headbands from four highly-placed Cloud shinobi, one of whom was their jinchuuriki. Yugito's was easy to pick out, since it had been cut to a smaller size than the others, but she had no idea to whom the other three belonged. If she got a good sniff of C before he was killed or sent back to Lightning, she could seal the scent sample up in plastic in case it was ever needed. It would also allow her a chance to plant a seal on him, since she hadn't in the fight. If he really was the Raikage's bodyguard… well. It might be useful to have a way to instantly access him in the future.

The sharpness in Tsunade's eyes implied that she had similar thoughts. "Shizune. Take Uzumaki to the prisoner." Shizune straightened to attention, giving Aiko a flustered look, but the Hokage's voice was hard. "Do what you have to do."

' _That sounds suspiciously like permission to plant a seal on him. He's an amazing sensor… he'll probably know what's happening, especially since I don't have the benefit of doing it in combat while he's distracted. If I can sense chakra in seals, there's always the chance that he would feel it going on.'_

The vast majority of sensors didn't seem to be able to detect chakra within seals. The amount contained within a complete seal (and her seals were completed in one piece, rather than being built line-by-line) was pathetically negligible. She'd never heard of someone else being able to sense chakra within seals, but she couldn't rule out that he would be able to sense it as it was put on. There was a slight swell of chakra that bubbled up when she made a complete seal form.

If a massive hint as to the workings of her best technique got out for such a stupid reason as using it outside of a combat situation… well, it just wouldn't be good, that was all. Who would ever be stupid enough to allow her within arm's reach if they knew that just getting brushed by her fingertips could be a death sentence and they wouldn't even know they were tagged? Granted, taijutsu was the bread-and-butter of shinobi combat and couldn't be completely avoided, but it would create more problems for her than anyone else if her opponents knew to maintain distance.

That possibility created complications and reduced the usefulness of her idea. It didn't eliminate it, however.

Team Yamato gave her curious looks when she followed a stern-faced Shizune out of the office, but made no comment.

She ended up choosing to actually paint the seal on the man named 'C'. He cursed and spat at her, but at least he wouldn't be spreading any information about a seal master applying their art by touch.

As far as he was concerned, it was a seal that would prevent him from running away from Konoha. It wasn't exactly a lie: that was one prisoner who wasn't going to escape, even if that purpose was secondary. Most importantly, that excuse didn't give him reason to refuse to return to his Kage's presence. Sure, he would almost certainly get the seal looked at, but she trusted her precautions.

By that she meant that if she felt someone tinker with it, she'd destroy the seal and leave him as a hilariously one-armed armed guard. Hopefully it didn't come to that and he believed her when she said that he'd regret messing with it, but if it didn't, his days of playing Twister were going to jerk to a sudden halt.

The high probability that he would hurry to get his seal looked at (he didn't seem to be a complete moron) gave Tsunade a very small window of time to decide whether or not to utilize the Hiraishin if C was allowed to return to Cloud. But it was something.

Nose full of his scent, she separated his headband from the others once she was outside the room and made a note to preserve it as a scent sample later that night.

* * *

Team Yamato shuffled into the office soon after Shizune had left and fell into a line. Sai stopped slightly too close to Naruto's side, and the blonde gave him a grumpy look that the other boy didn't react to. Yamato briefly gave thanks to the universe at general that he wasn't obligated to try to teach Sai about personal space. He had been getting disconcertingly close to snuggly lately.

"What was up with them?" Naruto jerked his head at the closed door in lieu of greeting Tsunade. Yamato gave him a mildly pained look, as if to ask why he was such a barbarian, but the Hokage answered herself.

"What are you talking about?"

It was not the reply Naruto had wanted. He rolled his eyes and dug his elbow into Sai's gut for the hell of it before indicating the hallway again with a thumb over his shoulder. "Shizune-neechan and Aiko-nee-chyaan! They were all serious and stomping away without stopping to talk about-"

"Shut up, moron," Sasuke sighed, grinding his heel onto Naruto's toes. The droop in his shoulders betrayed that the violence was out of a genuine tiredness and not intent to start an impromptu spar. His blond friend displayed a rare acquiescence to social convention and fell silent with only a mock-glare at his teammate.

Tsunade looked mildly incredulous. "I take it you haven't talked to your sister about what she got up to while you were gone, then?" At the blank stares, she just shook her head. "I don't have time to catch you nits up on gossip, but… Kumo showcased their fabulous ineptitude yet again by sending an eight-man team with the intention of acquiring several high-value targets from the village."

Yamato was pale, but his jaw was stiff. "So it's war, then?"

His solemnity seemed to have spread to the rest of the room, so it was jarring when Tsunade snorted and pushed her chair back. "Hell if I know," she complained, showing them her palms in what was probably an unconscious way of denying culpability. "Kumo might want to pretend that this never happened, seeing as they got stomped by one teenage girl and we now have the Raikage's bodyguard in custody." Thoughtfully, she amended, "To be fair, I think only four of them got stomped, including the Nibi jinchuuriki. The other ones ran."

The group of men exchanged looks of various levels of incredulity and amusement before their captain spoke up, with the exception of Sai who looked like he could have been thinking about repainting his house. Yamato sounded a little incredulous. "Aiko did that?" Tsunade pulled a little proud little smile and grunted in the affirmative. "J-just…" He shook his head, having a hard time processing the information. "Really?" At the confirmatory nod, Yamato let out a low whistle between his teeth.

Naruto looked completely unsurprised- proud, bordering on smug, but not surprised. It contrasted with the pained look on Sasuke's face before his palm hit his forehead with an audible smack. "We were gone a couple of days. That's just ridiculous. Sometimes I forget she's an Uzumaki," he complained in a muffled tone. Naruto puffed up like an indignant cat, but Tsunade was nodding wearily.

"The weirdest shit happens around you kids. I don't know if I want to laugh or cry." When he made a face as if to protest, Tsunade gave Naruto a black stare. "Before you deny that, stop and remember that you're about to explain why the hell _four_ people decided to attack Konoha as a result of your completely inane B class mission."

"They were zombies," Sai piped up helpfully, now that the conversation had gone in a direction he was informed of. Before this mission, he had never had a technical term for the risen undead, so he was pleased to utilize the addition to his vocabulary. He had never thought that Ugly Girlfriend would be able to teach him something so practical.

Tsunade made a small, wounded sound and stared around the room, obviously hoping someone would congratulate Sai on his joke. That, if nothing else, highlighted how off-balance she was. Sai did not make jokes.

"Zombies?" she asked weakly.

Yamato averted his eyes and nodded sheepishly. "Well, I don't know if I would say that… but it's as good a term as any other, I suppose."

She audibly groaned. "I don't get paid enough for this shit," Tsunade whined through her teeth before valiantly trying to get the meeting on track by indicating that Yamato should begin his verbal de-briefing. Naruto made a rude sound that derailed that hope entirely.

"No duh, you don't even get paid enough to pay off all your gambling debts."

Sasuke gave him a completely disdainful look. "The Hokage doesn't get paid, Naruto. It's service to the village and an honor, not a job. She gets free housing and services, but nothing so base as pay."

Naruto blinked at him, genuinely surprised. "Well, that sucks," he declared.

"The peanut gallery needs to be quiet now," Tsunade gritted out, hopelessly frustrated. "Yamato, please translate this mess into something I can explain to the council. With any luck, it'll be buried under the developing situation with Kumo, so I just need you to get this over with for me."

* * *

"Shouldn't you be going to report to Danzo soon?"

"Hello, Sai," Aiko said evenly, still concentrating on the bit of 'Great Expectations' that she was transcribing with slightly too much force of her pen against the paper to pass for disinterested. She'd never been a fan of Dickens, but it was what had occurred to her when she'd sat down with a clean notebook.

He plucked the writing utensil directly out of her hand and sent it sailing into a potted plant without even looking. All she could do was sputter for an instant.

"Sai, what the hell?"

"You weren't paying attention," he said simply, as if that was all there was to it. "I am beginning to suspect that you have no ability to discern when you are on a potentially hazardous course of action. So I must rectify that lack of concern."

Aghast, she stared at him just a little too long, and received a surprisingly vicious poke to her gut. His impassive expression didn't let on to any glee at the violence, which only supported the theory that he was genuinely trying to serve her best interests. Aiko heaved a put-upon sigh and gave him an obligatory glare before she reluctantly put her book aside and got up. While she rifled through her closet to pull out the sleeveless ANBU armor she would need and began to strip right there, Sai followed her just far enough to observe.

_'He's being a bit of a mother-hen_ ,' Aiko thought with a scowl that wasn't entirely truthful. _'I guess I'm going to have to put up with a bit of hovering.'_

Really, she was a little pleased. It meant he cared, right? Sai wasn't equipped to express that in many ways, so she'd take what she could get.

_'I can't believe I thought I needed to talk to Ino about this. What would she know?'_ Aiko shook her head at her own folly and shot a fond smile at her -boyfriend? Was he her boyfriend? He looked suddenly unnerved, but she didn't notice, too caught up in her own good humor. Ino might be fun to gossip with, but that was hardly an urgent matter. She had already sat on her bit of gossip for a week without it coming to bite her in the ass.

She had things pretty well under control. 

* * *

 

"I find myself pleasantly surprised."

' _That's a first.'_

Aiko tried not to let her surprise show. She'd been expecting to get a major ass-chewing.

"As contemptible as it is that one kunoichi should happen to do what the entirety of Tsunade's forces cannot, at least Konoha's weakness is not obvious to outsiders." Danzo scowled darkly into the distance. "That upstart in Kumo need not know how poorly matters are being mishandled."

' _No, why don't you tell me how you really feel about Tsunade,'_ she thought sarcastically. Her mask was still on, but still she schooled her facial expression to placidity. He wouldn't be interested in whether she approved of his bad-mouthing the Hokage. There was one thing he probably wanted to hear from her.

"I only apologize that I could not capture the jinchuuriki." Aiko artfully let a hint of chagrin enter her tone.

It was a lie on multiple levels. She didn't regret letting Yugito's teammate rescue her, although Aiko didn't quite understand why she had done it. Had the impulse just been because she'd admired his dedication to a teammate? Or was it that after Yugito had been defeated, her original plan to minimize further hostilities had been plausible again? Or maybe she was emotionally compromised when it came to jinchuuriki because she associated them with Naruto.

Whatever it was, there was no point in agonizing over it. The decision had been made. That didn't mean she particularly felt like explaining that it was no big deal to Danzo or even Tsunade.

When she had debriefed, she had sort of downplayed the part where she intentionally let the remaining shinobi abscond with Nii. Who would argue? Out of context, it would be absolutely insane for someone to seriously expect one shinobi to do more than hold their own against eight others. It seemed almost like an obvious omission to her, knowing what she did about how easily the Hiraishin made it for her to control the field. But if she hadn't practiced with it herself, Aiko wouldn't have necessarily known how easy it was to drag others around with it.

' _And if I was just using it by throwing kunai like dad did, then it would be a lot more dangerous for me and more predictable than blind-siding people by moving between pre-existing seals. It's not implausible that such a large group would be able to hold their own.'_

Danzo gave her a withering look. "I expect that you succeed upon the next opportunity to take a jinchuuriki for Konoha, of course. But I am not an unreasonable man. Putting seven shinobi on the run like recalcitrant children is impressive enough for a single operative. The Raikage's bodyguard will serve as a prisoner, and your actions have pushed back the escalation of conflict." His generally reasonable words were only slightly undermined by the disgruntled 'harumph' he let out.

"But enough of that. I have a mission for you, Sakura."

' _What, now? Tsunade has the village on all but lock-down. Is he really going to risk me being noticed missing?_ ' Puzzled, she followed the old man with her eyes but kept her posture locked into stillness while he painstakingly gathered up a thin folder.

"You may be familiar with this individual."

At his nod, she flipped it open and examined the photograph of the target. She was dispassionately memorizing the information when he began to speak again.

"This man is an enemy of the state. You will find and eliminate him." Danzo sounded bored, dismissive.

It was possibly a test. He was seeing if he could trust her not to flinch at contentious orders like assassinating someone she definitely shouldn't be… like a political official of Konoha who had committed no crimes as far as she knew. It was probably blackmail material as well—a mission that would make it hard for her to turn traitor later without fear of repercussions when she admitted what she'd done in the organization.

Didn't mean much to her. Tsunade herself had ordered Aiko into this business, and could hardly turn her nose up at her for accepting one morally dubious mission. It wasn't like Aiko didn't kill on Tsunade's orders.

' _Still, I wonder what he did to piss Danzo off.'_

Aiko laid the folder back down on Danzo's waiting hand and gave a perfunctory bow. He seemed quietly pleased by her easy memorization and lack of emotional reaction to her new orders. She wasn't sure if that should be insulting or amusing.

' _So little faith that anyone outside his organization can do a simple thing like kill a civilian. I don't see why it would matter. It's not like shinobi can turn noses up at something distasteful.'_

Well, Naruto would. But frankly, he should have been a samurai or something. Shinobi could have codes of honor, but they had to either be flexible or creative.

A few days later, an official on the immigration board, a third cousin of the Daimyo, was discovered to have passed away during the night. It was almost pathetically easy to give his heart a minor jolt and force it to beat at a speed his body couldn't cope with. There was a reason that Kakashi had bothered to teach her lightning jutsu despite her lack of affinity. He had passed with a peaceful smile on his face during his sleep, held under a mild genjutsu that kept him from realizing anything was wrong. The lack of visible distress was more important than it sounded: She would be surprised if anyone made more than a cursory check for foul play, though the effect she got could have been achieved through several means, including poisons.

It was the first time she had used the skills Kakashi had taught her on a Fire Country citizen who hadn't been condemned by a real authority. That was one of the largest sins condemned in the ideological institutions of Konoha: you were never supposed to use your skills against those you were sworn to protect. Kakashi would probably be repulsed to know what she'd done. Hell, even Sasuke would.

Aiko didn't see the big deal. For all the taboo, that old man died like anyone else.

* * *

No one seemed to note that Naruto was going off on the Twelve Ninja Guardian arc, which frankly surprised me. If you're unfamiliar with it, the details aren't important. Just know that Naruto's life goes on even when he's not on the same missions as Aiko. I don't want to give the impression that she's carrying the only plot and that everyone else just stands around aw-ing at her. I thought about covering his mission in more detail, but it really boils down to a filler and I don't want to be writing this story for the next ten years of my life. So some things just have to be cut, you know?

* * *

 


	85. Tough Love

Have I ever publically thanked my Smart Stranger? CrownsofLaurels occasionally reads chapters over for me and tells me how to make things better, (the few times I have the self-control to wait before posting…) and you should go to her profile as well because she is an excellent writer and she stops me from doing really ridiculous things like changing tense three times in a sentence (I've been having a really bad week). Seriously, if you need a fix after you've read this chapter, go there. Personally, I love Making Arrangements.

Actually, I have two Smart Strangers, but one is terrible at being a stranger because I live with her. You should also go investigate ArchertheUndreamed. My poor sister has to endure way too many conversations about this story and contributes to a lot of the jokes that ya'll occasionally like. Like the Temari pun in this chapter, for instance.

* * *

"I have a hypothetical situation for the two of you."

Sasuke and Naruto exchanged speculative glances. Getting formally called in to the Hokage's office was odd enough—it wasn't for a mission, and both of them were on good enough terms with Tsunade that when they were there, it was generally because they had wandered in themselves. Seeing Kakashi lurking in the corner silently without his book out was even stranger.

"I'll bite," Sasuke sighed. May as well get this over with and find out what was going on. "What is it?"

The shark-like smile on his mentor's face indicated that answer may not have been in his best interests. "Lovely. Pretend that after undergoing a rescue mission, you sustain wounds which may have cost you a limb- let's say a leg- if one of the best medical nin in the world was not there to provide emergency assistance. But triage is going on, so the worst is stitched up and you are put under enough drugs that you would be lucky to have the mental wherewithal to remember your name. Are you with me so far?"

He was starting to feel like he might know where this was going, but didn't understand why it was relevant. "You're talking about Aiko," Sasuke confirmed flatly, tapping his fingers against the side of his legs.

That much was obvious, though he hadn't quite realized that she could have lost a leg. Aiko hadn't been particularly up-front about the details, and the subject had seemed irrelevant after it was clear that she was getting medical attention.

' _That might explain why she was using Yamato's leg like a handlebar instead of standing on her own.'_

Naruto looked more confused than anything, but Tsunade bluntly pushed forwards. "Yes. Now imagine that an S class missing nin wanders in, takes you out of the hospital, and tells you that he plans to turn you into a human puppet and have you fight against your allies when they show up. Mind, you're flattered by the interest in your abilities," Tsunade added with a bizarre undertone that made Kakashi roll his visible eye, "But you still think that situation is untenable. You can't use your chakra. You can't even stand." Here she paused deliberately and Kakashi cut in.

"Off-hand, can you think of any ways to get out of that situation? Physically fighting is completely out, even if you were entirely certain which of the three blurry outlines you were seeing was your opponent. Running is impossible. Anything brilliant occurring?" At the slightly sick-looking expression on Naruto's face, he blithely continued, "Then your best bet is probably back-up, then."

This didn't bode well.

"Your allies are at the gates of Suna. Remind me, Sasuke. How long did it take us to reach the point where Aiko split from her captor?"

Feeling distinctly unsettled by where this was going, he ventured, "Approximately one hour."

Kakashi nodded indulgently. "And Naruto. How long after that did it take to find the cave where Sasori had set up to ambush us?"

"Half an hour?" Naruto guessed, giving a tentative shrug and an unsettled glance at the two adults in the room, who were looking less and less sympathetic as the conversation dragged on.

Tsunade nodded amiably and folded her fingers together. "How dead would you say Aiko would have been, if she had been literally anyone else in the world?" Naruto had gone stock-still, but she pursed her lips and added, "Even me, for example. In the wrong circumstances, anyone can find themselves in enemy hands and disabled."

"Oh, I would say somewhere between 'moderately' and 'severely' dead," Kakashi inputted, with an expression that Sasuke now interpreted as a hard one directed at the two boys. "That might be a little upsetting, wouldn't you think? The only thing that I think could rub that in more would be the knowledge that her teammates, who should be unilaterally supportive, thought it was funny to tease her about the experience."

Sasuke swallowed hard. He hadn't thought about it in those terms. They'd been relieved that the situation had worked out without any trouble that they could see at all. Aiko had never seemed particularly troubled by the incident. She never seemed all that affected by anything. He intellectually knew that she was a few months younger than he was but… Well, nothing seemed to really bother her on more than a surface level. She verbally sparred with Naruto and teased people sometimes, but Aiko seemed to have an exceptionally thick skin. He'd never seen her so much as flinch at the prospect of an unsavory mission, which was why it had been so damn funny to see her so flustered by the mission with Mukade. She'd been all but hysterical, by her standards.

"She knows that we don't really mean anything by it," Naruto weakly argued, chin sinking down towards his chest.

"You should have known better," Tsunade said flatly. The disappointment in her eyes was enough to make Sasuke shrink back. "Even the strongest of individuals can experience residual trauma. I'm a medic who couldn't stand the sight of blood for half my adult life. Your sensei over there, (and here Kakashi gave her a disgruntled look that implied he hadn't volunteered to be an example) has the emotional capability of a turnip after his many brushes with death, and I'm willing to wager that if you were to try to tease Morino Ibiki in a friendly manner about his own experiences in captivity that I would be blinking and wondering what happened to those cute boys I used to know and _where those smears on the wall came from_."

Naruto and Sasuke cringed in unison.

Kakashi heaved a sigh, stepping forward to thread his hands through both boys' hair to reassure them that no one was permanently mad at them. Both boys bowed their heads into the gesture. "I know you didn't mean any harm. On one hand, the fact that it wouldn't even have occurred to you that something like that isn't a joke could be considered a good thing. It means you two have retained some innocence that you wouldn't have had at your age if you'd been born in another time. But Sasuke, you're a Chuunin now, and Naruto wants to be as well. You just can't be entrusted with others' lives if you can't put yourself into their sandals and have the foresight to realize how your actions affect their lives."

"I know that both of you can do better," Tsunade cut in firmly. Sasuke pulled his head back slightly from the warmth and comfort of Kakashi's hand and didn't wince at the way the rough fingers caught in his hair. Physical comfort was for children, and he was being reprimanded for acting like a child.

"We well," Sasuke promised solemnly, glancing up at his first mentor before locking eyes with his shishou. Approval rang out in her expression. "Thank you for the learning opportunity, Kakashi-sensei, Tsunade-shishou." They both seemed mildly surprised by his momentary fall-back into the respect their positions actually merited, but Kakashi just backed up enough to look between the two of them.

Naruto raised his right hand to fiddle with his headband, body language serious. "What he said, grandma. I was acting like a kid and didn't even consider that being kidnapped would totally suck, even after it was over. I'll apologize and I know better now."

"Good boys." Tsunade gave them a rare smile with no ulterior motive behind it, and it lifted something heavy off of Sasuke's chest. She usually obfuscated, whether for business reasons or force of habit. Genuine approval that wasn't hidden was rare, and it was worth far more than even Shizune's good-natured encouragements.

"We're not dogs," he snipped back, because he'd already been emotionally honest enough for one day, and gave the two old people one of the smirks that had always pissed Naruto off. "Is that all?"

He was gone before the flowerpot hit the wall behind him. Naruto gave an indignant squawk and reflexively leapt out the window, covering his vital points.

Kakashi blinked, even though it was pointless since his covered eye wasn't seeing anything. "Was that really necessary?"

"No, but it was easier than figuring out another way to end that conversation," Tsunade admitted easily, kicking her feet up. "Thank you for taking this problem to me, Kakashi. I would hate for my adorable little apprentice not to get his head screwed on straight."

Self-consciously, the Jounin shrugged. "This way, I didn't have to do most of the talking," he deflected lightly, feeling his right hand slip into the pouch where he kept Icha Icha as a safety blanket, though he didn't dare take it out right now.

The Hokage made a most unladylike snort. "Yes, just keep telling yourself that."

* * *

"Has anyone told you lately that you're an idiot?"

_'No one is usually stupid enough to say that to my face, no.'_

A little surprised and hurt, Aiko frowned up at Yamato. "Hello, it's nice to see you too," she bit out, stepping back and pointedly tightening her grip on the door as if she was about to slam it shut on his face. He merely pushed her arm aside and stepped into her apartment, looking serious.

"I apologize for my bluntness, but I didn't know if Kakashi-senpai would have had this conversation with you, and I think you need to hear it."

She furrowed her brow at him, but didn't stop him from coming in. "What are you talking about?"

His brown eyes were as gentle as ever, but his tone didn't leave much room for argument. "Your recent actions. I don't mean to imply that what you've done was less than impressive. I don't know that I could have dealt with eight jounin. I don't think there are many people who could have." He didn't take his shoes off, but he slumped against her wall. It was the first indication that he wasn't totally comfortable with this conversation.

"It wasn't a big deal," she ventured cautiously, feeling awkward herself. "I didn't really beat them. I only had to get in one real fight and scared the others off. Once they knew they had been compromised, there wasn't any point in their remaining. Their mission was stealth. Yugito was emotionally compromised, or else I wouldn't have had to fight her at all."

"That's not the point," he interrupted sharply.

Aiko jumped a little in her own skin, taken aback by his vehemence.

"That's not the point," he repeated more softly, looking up at the ceiling as if praying for strength. "Look... Look at it this way. I know that you resent your dad for dying, don't you?"

She stared.

' _How the fuck does he know- why is he bringing that up?'_

As though he'd predicted her confusion, Yamato smoothly segued, "How do you think Naruto would feel if you got yourself killed because you were reckless?"

Aiko froze, feeling something unpleasant climb up her spine and hook claws under her bones. It knocked the wind right out of her and left no room for thought or protestation.

Her senpai continued mercilessly. "Or even Kakashi or myself? What about Sasuke? I know that you didn't even think of what you were doing as more than a mission, but you would never have been alone on a mission like that." Yamato let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair, thumb brushing protectively against his oddly shaped hitai-ite. "Look, you have comrades and teammates for a reason."

Her lower lip trembled a little bit. That was seriously unfair. Low blow, man.

When he glanced down, Yamato seemed to be more distressed by her expression than she would have expected. "Hey, I didn't mean to make you cry or anything," he deflected worriedly, waving his hands. Oddly, the incongruity with his serious attitude a moment before was soothing. There was the silly dork she knew.

But the implication that she looked like she was about to cry made her step forward and bury her face into a chest in a hug. A hug was less of a blow to her pride than letting him see her leak water like an idiot. Still, she gave him a thump in the chest with her closed fist to prevent the moment from getting too sappy. "I'm not about to cry, asshat."

"Whatever you say," he replied bemusedly, awkwardly patting her back in a half-assed reciprocation of the gesture of affection.

Aiko sniffed. He was wrong, she definitely wasn't going to start sobbing like a baby would. "I was starting to think that even Naruto had more bitch-fu than you," she mumbled into his flak jacket. "I was wrong. You made me feel like an idiot."

"That's good," he rejoined, a little amusement in his tone. "You acted like an idiot. But you won't anymore, right?"

"Right," she agreed, at least partially meaning it. Maybe she could work a little harder to avoid getting into dangerous situations alone when it was possible to get back-up. There were going to be circumstances where she really couldn't let others in on what she was doing. She was secretive by nature.

_'But I guess I don't have to make others worry about if I'm going to charge blindly into Akatsuki headquarters alone or something similarly ill-advised.'_

* * *

"Well, this is awkward," Tsunade said in an undertone, stifling a highly inappropriate grin. Aiko tried to choke down the hysterical laughter that wanted to bubble up and nodded gravely instead, not letting her stride falter. The Mist Chuunin who was escorting them to their temporary quarters in an upscale hotel that had been renovated specifically for this gathering was supremely uncomfortable. It wasn't hard to tell—her spine was so stiff that Aiko probably could have knocked her over and used her back as a table with no problem. Not that Aiko could blame her. The recent dust-up between Konoha and Cloud was now public knowledge.

Nii Yugito and the blonde woman beside her gave the two Konoha representatives looks that definitely did not indicate that they were considering asking if they could come over later and make friendship bracelets together.

' _What did I expect? Cloud doesn't have a female Kage, and there are only so many S class kunoichi in any given country. If everyone only gets two representatives, of course they're going to send the strongest kunoichi they have just in case of conflict or chance for espionage.'_

According to the hilarious new statistics in her bingo book entry, Aiko was an S-class kunoichi as well, which probably made Konoha's delegation the best-rated represented at this gathering. She was here more because she'd been organizing it than for any other reason, but at least she apparently had the reputation to back up her attendance. In the last few days in Konoha, she'd started to notice that people she had never talked to knew her name and greeted her—probably fallout from her little tiff with Cloud. Publically claiming that it was NBD was more likely to piss people off than get them to stop talking to her, so she just gave queasy smiles and hurried away whenever someone tried to talk to her. There was only so much socializing she could handle.

' _At least here, I have an objective and I have a solid reason to act civilly with people who want to talk to me.'_

Better to be among allies and enemies who could at least be trusted to adhere to professionalism like lying, spying, and occasionally attempting to assault her than –god forbid—fans and strangers who wanted to chat or thank her for her service. Ugh, yuck. She was considering never leaving her apartment again, or doing something really insane and frightening so that people stopped thinking she was approachable. She'd never seen Kakashi mobbed by matronly civilian women who wanted to offer him discounts at market or itty bitty pre-genin kunoichi who made odd squealing sounds when they saw him. It just wasn't fair. Couldn't she be intimidating too?

Aiko suppressed a shiver, hefting her travel bag onto the dresser by her bed and ducking into the doorway of the attached room where Tsunade was settling in. "Do you need any help?"

"I think I can handle it," Tsunade said dryly, upending her entire bag onto her bed and pawing through it for what appeared to be a sock full of cash.

She had a sinking feeling that she knew where this was going.

"Come on, brat. We have four hours until we have to be at that stuffy dinner, and I know there's a casino around here. We may as well have some fun, since Shizune isn't here to nag."

Poor Shizune and Sasuke were manning the fort back in Konoha. Well. Keiko was probably taking care of an obscene amount of it too. That woman needed a raise and vacation time after this.

But even stupid orders were orders, so she changed into the yukata she would need to be wearing later and pinned her hair up. The Hokage snorted when she saw the pink and yellow dress, but Aiko just shrugged. She'd thought it was cute. Tsunade hardly had room to talk about wardrobes—she wasn't even going to dress up, apparently, even for the opening ceremony. It was a bit rude, but who was going to tell the Hokage to get out? They trailed out of the hotel and she obediently followed Tsunade (who was apparently the human equivalent of a bloodhound for gambling houses).

"What's your game?"

Aiko blinked twice before she realized the question was directed at her. "I don't gamble."

"You do now," Tsunade said grimly, taking her arm and forcibly leading her to a table. "And you'll win, too. I won't be shown up by Iwa."

' _Oh god, she's going to start an international incident over poker_ ,' Aiko realized numbly while her sworn liege-lord lead her over to a kunoichi that she recognized from her briefings as Kurotsuchi—the Tsuchikage's granddaughter.

The girl gave Tsunade a simpering smile with no sincerity. "Oh look, if it isn't Tsunade-hime of Konoha. I'm surprised that you were willing to leave your village at a time like this. Aren't you ever so worried?"

Tsunade gave a smile that was just as fake and responded to the pointed barb with one of her own. "Oh, no need for concern. I can be there in an instant if anything goes wrong."

(Here was the pointed pause while everyone looked at Aiko and Aiko stared resolutely forward).

"Aren't you the Tsuchikage's granddaughter? My, you're getting so big," Tsunade mused.

Kurotsuchi turned mildly purple and a hand jerked towards her midsection before she stilled it.

Aiko tried to be very, very still to avoid drawing attention. Besides, the bulk of her attention was already occupied…

' _Can she really order me to be good at a game I have never played and subject me to disciplinary action if I fail?'_

She probably _could_ , but she also probably wouldn't do it, no matter how seriously Tsunade took her poker. Still, when Aiko sat next to Kurotsuchi's companion, a stern-faced brunette, she was all business even while the older women exchanged pointed barbs.

It didn't help matters. She lost miserably and was completely baffled. Aiko was actually grateful for the chance to flee when she realized that they only had ten minutes until they were late for their meeting. Walking there with the Iwa representatives was spectacularly awkward, however. She couldn't help but feel that she was being sized up. Tsunade seemed to be engaged in some sort of game of sneering one-upmanship, but Aiko was content to remain absolutely silent and expressionless. Maybe no one would talk to her if she didn't seem engaged. Most people took signals like that into account, didn't they?

"Aiko-chan! You look adorable today."

Except the Mizukage.

"Hello, Mei-nee-san." She flashed a genuine smile at the older woman and ignored the speculative looks being garnered. By referring to her so familiarly in public, Mei had set a precedent and it would have been rude to snub her by not reciprocating. It was also a pointed reminder to rub in just how close relations supposedly were between Kiri and Konoha, and not entirely unexpected.

Of course, the Mizukage had also given Tsunade a minor snub by greeting Aiko first. The amused smile on both older women's faces hinted that they were mutually cognizant of that. "Tsunade-san, you're certainly looking well," Mei greeted silkily, having lost all the playful fondness from her last statement.

"You as well," Tsunade easily rejoined, flipping a ponytail over her shoulder and gliding towards her assigned seat. Mei watched her like a hawk, amusement in her eyes. Aiko hid the anticipation in her own expression, knowing what was coming. "A nametag?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow and picked up the offending item. Her expression froze for a moment, before she turned to Aiko. "What is this?"

"We thought it might be helpful to provide descriptions of the participants so that everyone could connect names and reputations," Aiko replied, poker-faced. It had been her idea. If this worked, it should serve as a bit of an ice-breaker and allow them all a chance to laugh at themselves a bit to thaw some of the hostility and seriousness.

"And why is my description, 'The Lady with the Hat' instead of the more conventional 'Hokage' title?" Tsunade asked dryly.

' _Because of your big ridiculous Hokage hat which I tried so hard to get you to pack_ ,' Aiko thought a little resentfully. The joke still worked when she wasn't wearing it, but… yeah.

"Mine is the same," Mei confided gravely, pushing her chest out to show that yes, she was identified as 'Terumi Mei: The Lady with the Hat.' Tsunade stifled a grin rather badly and stuck her identification on her considerably more impressive chest. "What's your description, Aiko-chan?"

She repressed a grimace of uncertainty and picked up her own. Aiko hadn't picked hers, so she wasn't sure what category she had been slotted into… "Kickassery Specialist," she read, with a bare quirk of her lip. That was one of her suggestions, actually, to indicate a front line, offensive type. Some of the titles were personalized for the more eccentric characters expected, but she'd gotten one of the general ones. She couldn't say that she minded.

"The wind beneath my wings?" Sabaku no Temari read off numbly in the sudden silence, holding a little rectangle in her hands. Aiko valiantly stifled a grin.

"That's a good one," Mei spoke up, calling Temari's attention. Aiko didn't recognize the mousy little girl next to Temari. It seemed strange that Sand would have sent a complete nobody. Her nametag identified her as 'Matsuri: Powderpuff Extraordinaire'.

Aiko tried not to recoil away from the thought that Sand had sent a genin to this event. That either indicated they really couldn't spare anyone useful or that they were very trusting.

They probably weren't being trusting. She tried not to pity poor, understaffed Suna.

The spread was unremarkable. The fact that she ended up across the table from Nii Yugito was less so. Aiko valiantly avoided staring down into her fish, trying her best to pretend that she had yet to notice the two cloud kunoichi staring a hole in the side of her head.

"Uzumaki Aiko, right?"

Until they spoke to her. A quick glance revealed that 'Samui' was also an Ass-kickery Specialist, as was Nii.

"That's right," she acknowledged mildly, letting her eyes slide over the two of them half-lidded as though she was disinterested. It was a trick shamelessly stolen from Kakashi's arsenal. Hopefully, they wouldn't further engage her.

It garnered a small irritated reaction from Yugito- a tensing of her jaw. She didn't bother to disguise her dig with a honeyed tone. "I wouldn't have expected to see you here. Is Konoha trying to average out the ages of their participants, or are there really just two kunoichi in the Land of Fire?"

' _You don't know how lucky you are that Tsunade didn't hear you make an age joke. She would kick your ass.'_

"I didn't know you were so funny, Yugito-chan. It's wonderful to see you again. You're looking better than the last time I saw you," Aiko observed blandly, letting just a little too much teeth show when she smiled. ' _I can play that game too, kitty-cat.'_

Samui blinked languidly at her, placing a hand on Yugito's arm to prevent her from replying. "We were actually hoping to get a chance to speak to you and Tsunade-sama tonight," she inserted cooly, bringing the atmosphere back down from the previous simmering aggression to a more civil level.

' _I'm sure that could be arranged, if you just wait around at the casino.'_

Aiko swallowed those words. They weren't particularly professional. Besides, they had anticipated this situation. The Raikage had to make some sort of effort if he wanted C back. So far, they had only sent the official notice that he had been taken captive and an invitation to open up dialogue. He had probably the received it only the day before Samui and Yugito had left to travel to Mist.

"I'm afraid that Tsunade-sama likes to go to bed early. Would you like to meet at the teahouse on Gold street tomorrow at nine?"

That was an obvious lie, of course. Tsunade would be staying up late and drinking, since Shizune wasn't here to nag. But she wanted to see if they would protest.

The easy way the two agreed implied that they either didn't care or that their orders were important enough that they didn't have a choice but to work around the offered rendezvous. Thankfully, that was the end of their conversation because Tsunade, Mei, and Shizuka, (the teenaged leader of Nadeshiko) took turns giving very dull speeches about cooperation and friendship and mutual respect and other things that all but put Aiko to sleep. She wasn't here to do any real politicking, thankfully. Konoha's position was more analogous to Rock and Cloud's than anyone else's : they were present to make sure that no one signed anything sneaky while they weren't looking like preferred trade agreements or treaties. Temari and Mei were in a rather vicious competition to impress Shizuka with what they could do for Nadeshiko in exchange for agricultural contracts, but they would probably be reaching out to other places as well.

Aiko swiveled before her shoulder could be tapped. "Hello, Konoha," a woman she did not recognize greeted. Blue hair, a _very_ revealing blue robe over white boots, and… a nametag that declared she was the representative from Ame, named Konan.

' _It couldn't be. I mean, I know that they're officially Ame ninja and the Akatsuki thing is a secret identity, but would she really come to this meeting?'_

Apparently. Konan had a lot of nerve, apparently. Goddamn. One of the highest members of Akatsuki had come to a meeting where other countries would be discussing how to deal with the threat of Akatsuki.

' _Not that it matters. I can't tell anyone I suspect she's a member of a terrorist organization out of the blue,'_ Aiko thought crabbily.

"Hello, Konan, is it?" Tsunade greeted airily, visibly going through the motions of courtesy.

"Yes," Konan agreed quietly, before turning eerie amber-orange eyes and a flat expression on Aiko. A caricature of a smile ghosted across her features. "I see you brought two S class representatives. Is this the girl with the flying thunder god?"

Conversation stopped around the room before Tsunade even nodded in the affirmative. "Yes, she's almost as good with it as her daddy was," Tsunade mused faux-casually, putting a palm to her chin.

_'Well, that was a hell of a sudden name-drop. She could have fucking told me she planned to let that information out **here'**_

Temari (who was probably enjoying watching feathers fly), Mei, and Tsunade were the only ones who looked pleased and not remotely wrong-footed by the not-so-subtle hint. Other expressions ranged from outright hostile to guiltily fascinated.

Konan's eyes were hard, but her tone was soft. "You don't look like much of a flying god to me. Would that make you the thunder princess, then?"

Aiko had to take a moment to analyze that before she could respond. It was either a poor joke, a way of subtly putting her abilities down in comparison to Minato and the second Hokage (a princess was a hell of a step down from a god), or possibly even a hint that she wasn't flustered about her relation to Minato. Daughters of Kage were about as close to royalty as shinobi got, but the way Konan said the word 'princess' robbed it of any respect.

"I don't think so," Aiko demurred quietly, holding eye contact but squeezing her hands together under the table. "I am just Aiko, I'm afraid."

"So modest," Konan hummed. "Is it not true that we have you to thank for defeating the Akatsuki member who attacked Suna?"

' _What the hell is she on about? She isn't really threatened by me._ ' Still, Aiko had to resist the urge to shift uncomfortably in her seat. She was almost amazed that no one else seemed to sense how dangerous the soft-spoken woman in blue really was.

' _Is Konan looking for information? To see how confident Konoha really is? Or just checking out the competition?'_

"That was the Kazekage," she replied stiffly, noting that Temari was scowling a bit at the dismissal of her brother. "I merely provided assistance."

"Assistance." Konan smiled coldly and turned to Tsunade. "For all her reticence, your village has undergone a significant increase in power in later years. I don't suppose that Konoha is sponsoring an arts and crafts time where the rest of us may practice making white flags?"

' _The 'rest of us'? You tricky bitch, creating an 'us' versus 'them' that is completely counter to reality. Konan's stirring up malcontent against Konoha.'_ Aiko swallowed carefully and gauged the atmosphere around the room. Surely enough, many people from smaller villages looked uncomfortable… Particularly the teal-haired girl with the baby face from Waterfall. Fuu. Was she their jinchuuriki?

Akatsuki was attempting to use the Raikage's conclusions to ham-string Konoha's chances at gathering allies to act against them. Aiko was grudgingly impressed. She had thought that the Raikage had blamed Konoha with little justification, but if Konan's involvement indicated anything, it was that international opinion of Konoha was intentionally being sabotaged.

"Perhaps next year," Tsunade countered with a sharp little smile and a glitter in her eye that implied that she, at least, had noticed an odd undertone to the conversation. "I'm not particularly talented in those sorts of artistic ventures, so it would take some planning. I am confident that the Mizukage has provided adequate entertainment instead."

* * *

"That woman from Ame is creepy," was the first thing out of Aiko's mouth once she and Tsunade were safely ensconced in their hotel suite. Tsunade cast an amused look in her direction.

"Is that so?

"Yes," Aiko stressed with just a little too much vehemence to be casual. "I get a very bad feeling from her."

"Well, don't go picking a fight with her, then," Tsunade called distractedly over her shoulder, already shrugging her jacket off and heading towards her bathroom.

Aiko's face burnt red and she hurriedly shut the door that connected their rooms before she saw any more skin.

The morning found Aiko in a green kimono that meshed rather professionally with Tsunade's color scheme when they met the two representatives from Cloud outside an upscale teahouse. They were quiet throughout the ceremony until the hostess left. Yugito was the one who broached the more serious topics first.

"I am grateful that you took the time to meet us, Tsunade-sama."

' _She's more clinical and professional than I'd realized,'_ Aiko observed. Granted, they hadn't exactly had an optimal first meeting.

"It's my pleasure." Tsunade didn't try to coat her words with the usual false cheer in diplomatic circumstances. "But we should be up-front about what's going on. I assume that the Raikage would like you to negotiate for the release of the man named C?"

"Concisely summed," Samui agreed neutrally.

Tsunade eyed the two Cloud kunoichi up and took a slow sip of her tea, as if to see if they would rush her answer. They waited politely. "I am sure you realize that such an agreement is complicated by the likelihood that the Raikage would just mount another offensive against Fire Country," she observed blandly. "How would it serve Konoha's interests to give back one of the Raikage's elite warriors? My own people clamor to interrogate him instead so that we may be prepared for inevitable war."

Frankly, Aiko didn't know if she believed Tsunade's intimation that C had not been tortured for information already. Anyone who believed that war with Cloud was a foregone conclusion would have to be a complete idiot to let an opportunity to extract information from such a highly placed official slip between their fingers. On the other hand, it would create ill-will to have harmed him while they were not officially at a state of war if it was possible to avoid martial conflict.

Samui was the one who tensed at the implied threat of bodily harm to C. Yugito raised a calming hand. "For what it is worth, I have come to doubt our initial conclusion that Konoha is responsible for the murder of B and for the theft of the Eight-Tailed bijuu."

The slight narrowing of Samui's eyes implied that this was not an approved area of discussion, but she could hardly say anything now.

"Do you now? Is this a view that the Raikage shares?" Tsunade's gaze was piercing.

Yugito let her eyes drift over to Aiko. "I am afraid that this is but my own conclusion, after your agent let the chance to capture me slip between her fingers. I have no doubt that if Konoha desired my bijuu, you would have it."

' _Oh, hell. You tattle-tailing bastard_.' Aiko resisted the urge to fidget, but Tsunade was too skilled to let on that the implication that Aiko had intentionally let Yugito go was news to her.

"The Raikage finds my analysis compelling, however," Yugito continued smoothly. "I am confident that he would be willing to engage in dialogue with you to come to his own conclusion. Unfortunately, such a thing is not possible while C is in Konoha's custody. The Raikage serves the people, and he would be remiss to parlay with those who hold his loyal soldiers captive."

Tsunade was still. Very still. And then she gave an obnoxiously loud laugh, tossing her hair back. "Well, you certainly have some nerve. The Raikage will do us the favor of giving us a chance to prove that the conclusion he came to was no evidence was wrong if we release a man he sent to kidnap one of my soldiers?"

' _It is pretty bold,'_ Aiko acknowledged. ' _The Raikage… actually sounds like kind of a hilarious person. He's either a simpleton or a total badass.'_

The proposition was slightly insulting, and that was probably purposeful. But that didn't mean that they could turn it down. Tsunade would have to be petty to weigh a slight against the possibility of avoiding a costly war.

For the first time, Yugito bristled slightly.

Tsunade waved her down. "That's quite alright," she sighed, giving Yugito an amused once-over. "You make me laugh, but I have no argument with your proposed solution. If the Raikage will agree to treat with Konoha, C will be escorted to the border of Lightning Country by two of my soldiers and released into the custody of any two shinobi he sees fit to send. Aiko-chan will be there, of course," (and here Tsunade leered at Yugito with far too much humor) "to remove the seals that have been placed on the prisoner to prevent his escape. Is that acceptable?"

"I am authorized to accept such a proposal," Yugito murmured with an incline of her neck. "I am certain that the Raikage will contact you with the details for the exchange and the meeting soon after we return to Kumo. Thank you for your time."

That settled, the two Cloud shinobi made their excuses soon after and departed. Tsunade stared thoughtfully after them for a moment, cheek braced against her palm.

"Is she correct, Uzumaki?"

"Yes," Aiko admitted quietly. "I could have tried harder to eliminate or capture her."

The Hokage was contemplatively silent for a while. "I understand merciful impulses, Aiko. In absence of direct orders to the contrary, I don't resent it when you complete your missions without killing everyone who catches your eye. Your objective was to protect your country and prevent the intruders from doing harm, not their elimination. There is no shame in that."

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

She had expected to get in more trouble, but wasn't about to protest.

The rest of the day was more relaxing for Aiko. She followed Tsunade from various meetings with representatives from smaller villages, (including Waterfall) and just learned about what was going on while everyone prodded each other to re-evaluate how they related to each other in a complicated game of power relations. Her only job was to be prepared in case of a fight and to look impassive and dangerous (but not threatening or hostile) while she lurked at Tsunade's side.

' _Like an attack dog.'_

Aiko washed her face in the hotel sink, tired of the feeling of Mist's muggy air on her skin. That was all she had time for before she had to accompany Tsunade to a much larger meeting, this time on an outside pavilion much like the one Mei preferred in Kiri proper.

Konan, that bitch, had gotten herself seated far too close to Tsunade, a fact that had Aiko on edge. But the trouble didn't come from her, when it came.

"Mizukage-sama, perhaps we could break up the monotony of the evening with a friendly tournament?" Fuu was looking directly at Aiko. It wasn't hard to decipher.

' _She thinks Konoha is stealing bijuu, thinks I'm involved, and wants to know if she can kick my ass if I do come calling to Waterfall._ ' Aiko tried not to slump grumpily in her seat. ' _Glorious.'_

Unfortunately, when an outlet for violence was suggested in a group full of the most powerful kunoichi in the continent, public opinion was decidedly for the idea.

At first, it seemed curious that any really important figures like Mei, Tsunade, and Shizuka were not considering entering the game. Then she considered the political implications of putting Kage up against each other and wondered why she was such a twit sometimes. The tournament was a power play for villages to demonstrate their own strength, of course, but it was important that it was fought through intermediaries. A loss could be dismissed in a game between Kage's representatives, but if someone like Temari, for example, were to beat Shizuka or Mei in combat, the village that had lost would lose prestige. There was an enormous difference between a village's representative and a village's head being defeated, (especially if the defeat came at the hands of someone of lower status).

She pouted a little, but didn't protest when Tsunade told her put her name forward in an undertone. Mei imperiously gave them all a short break to decide if they wanted to enter a contestant. Bored, and knowing that she was already committed, Aiko wandered over to tell Mei and get it over with.

"That's nice, kitten." The Mizukage gave the wide open area a longing look and confided, "I don't know that I have a kunoichi I want to enter into this, fun as it would be."

Perhaps she shouldn't have said, "Put Chojuro in a dress and enter him."

At least Mei decided to laugh, rather than be insulted. "If he were here, that would be a good back-up plan. As is, I think I have a Chuunin who will have to get batted around like a cat toy for my amusement."

Aiko winced. That was not going to be pretty.

It wasn't. That poor girl was in the first round against Kurotsuchi. The Tsuchikage's granddaughter appeared to be an arrogant little brat, and she made a point of proving that the younger girl couldn't hit her before sneeringly covering her in a dome of some sort of white lava release that she hardened with a small spout of water. The thing shattered when enough force was applied from outside, but the victory had already been declared.

The next fight was less of a curb-stomp. Lightning's representative was Samui, and she exchanged a round of taijutsu with a woman named Ryuuka from Yumegakure that was actually enjoyable to watch. Aiko found herself half-out of her seat when Ryuuka called on her summons animals, filled with a childish delight at the sight of three gigantic wolves that made Tsunade snort alcohol out through her nose. Unfortunately, the grumpy blonde demonstrated a rather cruel streak by scorching the canines and Ryuuka frantically dismissed them to keep them from getting fried by lightning. She never quite regained her momentum, and her loss was a foregone conclusion by the time that Tsunade leaned over to quietly murmur in Aiko's ear.

"Don't throw your match. They'll resent you if you win, but they're all looking at you and it would be better to look strong than weak. And if they know that you let someone win, that's going to piss everyone here off."

She was right, damn it, although the thought of giving Konan a chance to assess her skills rankled. Samui was just finishing pounding on poor Ryuuka when Aiko tapped a seal onto her wineglass and then made a slow circuit of the pavilion on her way to the opening in the crowd of tables that had been pushed to circle the center as an impromptu ring of sorts. As she went, she took the opportunity to brush up against a few bodies in the crowd and leave seals on whatever kunoichi was in reach, taking a distinctively vindictive pleasure in pushing her way past Konan in the close quarters and tagging her hip with only a polite smile when the older woman jerked at her touch with a hard expression. Her lack of alarm told Aiko that the blue-haired Akatsuki wasn't a sensor.

She'd need seals arrayed around to enhance her speed in the upcoming fight, since she wasn't really armed, but that one could come in handy in the future. Maybe Konan would _mysteriously explode_ in her hotel room tonight. That would solve some problems.

_'And create some more complications,_ ' Aiko acknowledged resentfully. She didn't want Konan here by any means, but killing her might send her stupid boyfriend on a rampage. She couldn't afford to do anything like that without thinking about it for something upward of ten minutes.

Most of her skills just weren't suited for play fights. That was fine, she would prefer to use as few varying moves as possible to avoid giving anyone an intimate look into her arsenal, even though she did have to make a good showing. Speed, taijutsu, and chakra chains would have to do, as the chains were both public knowledge and an excellent way of subduing someone so that the match could be declared in her favor. Samui seemed to have ruled in favor of pounding her opponent into unconsciousness, but Aiko didn't want to be here all damn day and there were still two more matches in the first tournament round.

' _At least the next one is mine, and Temari won't hold any grudges.'_

The older girl caught her eye and began making her way to the edge of the ring as well, clearly impatient for a fight. Aiko amended her thought to a hope that Temari wouldn't hold grudges instead of a certainty.

She didn't have any intention of humiliating Temari on purpose, but she also didn't want to artificially drag their match out when it was in her best interests and capabilities to make the match quick and decisive. If she gave Temari a chance to get on her fan, the match would just be an embarrassing sequence of her dodging wind without a chance to retaliate without taking out jutsu, and Temari being unable to land a blow. No. Whichever way the match went, it should be a short one.

_'I can even tell Temari later that I didn't want that shady Ame woman to see either of our arsenals. I think she'll understand.'_

* * *

This doesn't fit here at all, but it's been sitting around written forevvverrr, so... yeah. I just wanted to get rid of it, to be honest. I'm much more interested in what everybody thinks about the chapter.

Omake: Konohamaru follows his Boss to practice

"D-double knockout boy paradise jutsu?" Aiko repeated numbly.

Konohamaru gave a surprisingly foxy grin. "It's my best one yet!"

"No one wants to see that, you foul little pervert," Sasuke condescended with just a little too much hostility to pass as emotionally removed. His fingers twitched into a fist as if he was seriously tempted to send a genin sailing over the treetops.

Aiko didn't entirely agree with his tactical assessment.

' _I kind of want to see that…'_

Thankfully for all that was good in the world, Konohamaru paid very little attention to what Sasuke said. That was possibly because this was being done in large part because the boy wanted a reaction: he was trying to be rebellious.

If anyone was going to react to the sudden appearance of a naked Sasuke and Sai cuddling under a not-entirely-modest cloud of sparkly blue mist, Sasuke was near the top of the list.

' _I changed my mind. Konohamaru is no longer on probation because I completely approve of the kid. He's a good people.'_

Aiko barely heard the shrieks and thumps as Sasuke apparently decided Naruto was to blame for this and set off on him with a good deal more violence than usual, since he couldn't hit the rather delicate originator of the jutsu. To be fair, it probably _was_ Naruto's fault.

The infinitely more interesting version of Sasuke was busily blushing as the sexy no jutsu Sai pushed him against a tree and kissed up his neck. He gave an audible gasp, placing his fingertips lightly against Sai's chest, but didn't actually protest. Instead, he closed his eyes and tossed his head back to give Sai more room to work with.

She vaguely recognized someone was saying her name, but it didn't seem important right now. The smoke was moving _just_ _enough_ that she could see Sai's hand sliding down Sasuke's hip-

"Not now, I'm in my happy place." She swatted at whatever hand was reaching for her shoulder distractedly, but it didn't give up, shaking at her.

"Aiko?"

She outright yelped at the low voice in her ear, spinning guiltily. "Um, hi. It's, uh… Not what it looks like?" she trailed off weakly. Sai seemed spectacularly unamused by her preoccupation, though the gaze he'd been giving the bunshin themselves was thoughtful. As if in apology, she reached out and picked at his shirt, pawing lightly and giving him a winsome smile, though it was probably a bit strained. "You're looking nice today."

"So we gathered," Naruto said flatly, giving- why was he giving _her_ a dirty look? With a little puff of smoke, the two brunets disappeared and Konohamaru seemed to decide it was time to flee. Their real-life counterparts didn't look much more pleased than Naruto did.

' _Huh. When did they stop fighting?'_

Aiko blinked and surveyed the group. "Did I miss something?"


	86. Chapter 86

"Well, this is traditionally when we exchange witty banter," Temari sighed, slowly reaching over her shoulder for her fan. "I don't suppose you have anything to say?"

"Nothing more than hands off your fan, unless you really need it to hide a blush, you delicate flower," Aiko tried winsomely, darting forward to force Temari into taijutsu and make her defend herself with her hands. Accordingly, her first strike was an open palm swipe aimed at Temari's throat, mimicking a kunai stroke that would have been fatal if she'd been armed. Temari clearly recognized the implication and her pride wouldn't let a mock-fatal blow pass. Her response was to slap the blow away while she jerked her head to the side and bent inwards, leading with her elbow to deliver a punishing blow to her opponent's unguarded ribs. Aiko was already twisting on her supporting leg to bring her left leg up and managed to completely evade the blow, snapping her left out with a stiff ankle and a flat foot that impacted painfully with Temari's gut.

It was something of a balm to her ego to see that she had the physical strength to send someone faltering, after Yugito had shrugged it off when they'd fought almost two weeks prior.

Temari curled inwards to gasp at the hit to her lower torso but jerked her free arm out to retaliate. She was too slow. Aiko had swept around the taller girl with un-augmented speed and snapped both hands out to steal the heavy fan off Temari's back.

That was the most efficient way to ensure it didn't get used against her at all. She couldn't see many ways to end this fight without hurting Temari or getting hurt herself, so her next best bet was to rub in how silly the whole thing was and remind everyone that this was just a game.

She was amused to note a gasp from the crowd at that point. Matsuri, perhaps? Was it Just Not Done to touch Temari's fan?

The abject fury in the blonde's face when she whipped around to see Aiko awkwardly clutching the weapon to her chest like a baby supported that theory. She gave an apologetic smile and danced away, ducking completely under the first anger-fueled blow and then flickered to the opposite end of the arena for the second blow.

To her credit, Temari didn't miss more than a beat before she veered around to stare at Aiko. Her eyes were a little rueful while she stared at her own weapon.

Just to play to the crowd, Aiko made a dramatic, slow swing with the pilfered weapon and grinned at the wave of titters that passed around the pavilion. Absolutely nothing happened. Apparently, she wasn't much of a wind-user.

Temari's expression indicated that Aiko's inept attempt had been downright painful to watch. "I'm not going to be able to hit you, am I," she confirmed, as though she already knew the answer.

"Nope," Aiko chirped back, grinning from behind her burden. "We could play tag, though." Illustratively, she darted to three different positions in less than a breath, playing with her Hiraishin. It had been confirmed, so she may as well rub in to the audience that she wasn't using it how they expected. It should also make her point to Temari. She was a smart girl, and she would know that Suna would be better represented if she recognized that this fight was stacked against her instead of stupidly charging forward into a match she couldn't win. Aiko was more worried about the next match, honestly. That would be when she really needed the seals she had planted. Temari didn't actually have any intention to hurt Aiko from the start, but others might.

"Maybe later," Temari dead-panned, settling into a relaxed pose with a sigh. "This is no fun, Uzumaki. I give up. Now give me back my damn fan."

"Boo!" Tsunade called out playfully, hands cupped around her mouth. "Keep fighting, you sissies! I want to see some blood!"

"Drunk looney", Aiko said fondly under her breath, before turning to Temari to quietly joke, "Tits McGee wants us to continue, are you sure?"

"I am certain," Temari said dryly, reaching out insistently for her weapon. She smoothed her hand over the metal surface lovingly before putting it back over her shoulder—or trying, at least. The blonde grimaced at Aiko, real irritation on her features. "Damnit, woman. You messed up the straps," she complained, tucking her fan under her arm and fiddling with the holster as they walked out.

No one seemed particularly pleased with the short show, but Aiko didn't care. She nudged Temari with an elbow and leaned in close to mutter, "Sorry. Is it just me, or is that blue-haired woman sketchy? I didn't want to be a jerk, but I don't like showing more of my repertoire than I have to."

Temari snorted in reply, shooting Aiko a mirthless look. "I know the feeling. I've never even heard of her before. It's like the Mizukage let in anyone with a can-do attitude and funky hair."

At that point, they were too close to anyone else to continue the covert conversation, but it was at least somewhat of a relief to see that someone else was wary of Konan.

' _I want that woman gone from here. She's causing trouble, and who knows what Akatsuki could do with any real insight into what everyone is deciding? Or rather, what she could do here, more immediately. There's at least two jinchuuriki in this town right now. If she were to snatch one and run… Well, Konoha might well get blamed, and it'd be doubly bad news. Or she could let in more Akatsuki and do real damage to any number of countries in one relatively unsecured target. If Deidara alone was willing to take on Suna, a small mob of S-class shinobi could cause a lot of problems.'_

The thought caused an unpleasant shiver. But she couldn't just challenge Konan to a damn duel or anything in front of the whole delegation.

Not least because she probably didn't want to fight Konan. All she knew about her was that she could turn into paper and was probably an S-class fighter. For a fight like that, she would want both Kakashi and Yamato at her back, and a write-up of Konan's abilities. Maybe Tsunade and Jiraiya lurking around just to be on the safe side would make her feel a bit better about that hypothetical match.

' _I might not have a choice,_ ' Aiko told herself firmly, not letting her gaze wander over to Konan while she began to push her way through the crowd. ' _Which means that I should think about how I would want that fight to go. And where I would want it to happen. I don't particularly fancy trying to ambush Konan in her boudoir.'_

Involuntarily, she shivered, imagining opening the hotel door and finding Kakuzu on the can. It was never a good idea to fight an enemy on their turf when you could help it: they could have back up or traps.

Or, you know, Kakuzu on the can, which she was sure was scarring enough to last several lifetimes. Now she just couldn't stop thinking about it. No, no, nooooo. She was arrested from her path and increasingly disturbing thoughts by a vaguely familiar voice.

"Uzumaki."

She raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Fuu-san?"

The other girl narrowed orange eyes at her. "Put up a better fight against me in the next round," she clipped out shortly. "I don't want you to think I'll just give up because you try to play a childish game."

' _Tokiwa looks pissed,_ ' Aiko noted. She didn't bother to hide her amusement at that. It was cocky and rude for Fuu to assume she would be continuing in the match, or at least to say so in her opponent's hearing. What a silly kid. "I look forward to sparring with you as well, Fuu-san, but let's not get ahead of ourselves."

She really did like the idea of sparring against Fuu. The other girl had been careful to keep her distance from Aiko so far, and it might be her only chance to tag the jinchuuriki. You never knew when it might come in handy to be able to access one of those guys. They were sort of a hot collector's item, after all.

But it seemed that Fuu talked better than she performed, because Tokiwa quickly put her on the run. The teal-haired girl was obviously frustrated and struggled not to whip out her jinchuuriki-based powers. Any sane person might have felt trepidation about pushing someone so obviously volatile, but Tokiwa was apparently a stone-cold bitch. Aiko felt oddly fond of the older woman as she watched just how chillaxed she seemed to be about the imminent possibility of very real danger. Even the atmosphere among the spectators grew tense as it seemed that a semi-friendly contest of strength might turn into a bloodbath.

Either Tokiwa thought she could handle even what a jinchuuriki could dish out at her worst, or she trusted that the establishment would control any demonic overflow.

Personally, Aiko thought it was the former. Fuu couldn't even hit Tokiwa, and the older woman was steadily scoring hits with the freakishly long katana she carried, gouging slices out of Fuu's arm guards and chipping at the short sword that Fuu had pulled out instead of a kunai to block.

"She is a hell of a swordswoman," Aiko murmured casually to a rather stiff-looking Yugito, propping her chin up on both hands and peering interestedly at the contestants. "I pity the Fuu."

All she received was an odd look for her wording.

She sighed a little mournfully. That was probably another person who thought she was irredeemably weird. ' _It's almost like Mr. T. doesn't transcend realities. Ridiculous.'_

There was an ugly gasp and an obvious burst of killing intent when Fuu finally lost it completely and burst out with demonic energy. Pity. She really hadn't mastered her bijuu, then. It was terribly irresponsible of her to enter a spar if she couldn't control herself. Despite her disapproving thoughts, Aiko's heart stopped momentarily when she really took in the sight.

' _That is so much better than tails that it isn't even funny_.'

Aiko lurched over the table, practically climbing up in order to get a better view and balancing on her elbows with her hips at the edge. "Ah, that's so fucking cool!" A grin split her face that no one else seemed to notice, as they were a bit preoccupied with the fight that had suddenly turned into a possible death match with onlooker casualties. "They look like glitter. Hey, hey, Tsunade-sama!" She thudded her palm on the table childishly. The older woman didn't respond, so Aiko demanded, "Aren't her wings so pretty?"

Tsunade gave her a long-suffering look. Instead of replying, she reached out to pull away Aiko's untouched rice wine and knocked the whole thing down in one long series of gulps.

Wide-eyed and gleeful, Aiko actually paid avid attention to the next interchanges. Even if it was unintentional, Fuu was putting on quite a show. There were a few shrieks as Fuu crashed into a table, sending chairs and kunoichi flying.

"Aiko, stop this idiocy," Tsunade groaned, fanning herself with one hand and looking longingly at the empty glasses in front of her. "I don't care how pretty the damn things are, make them go away."

She pouted, but obediently leapt over the table and rapidly thinning crowd. Aiko casually wound two blunt chains out her back and down each hand, eying the distracted jinchuuriki like a performer might eye the tigers they were trying to convince through hoops. "Hey, Tokiwa-san, do you mind if I cut in?"

"Go for it," the brunette grunted, a hint of strain on her face while she dodged a spray of some sort of poisonous glitter. Maybe she had been bluffing about not being bothered by an unleashed bijuu.

Fuu had to be the most glamorous jinchuuriki Aiko had ever seen, and she definitely approved. Still, the demonic chakra was bothering some of the lower-level nin. Matsuri was actually shaking, but at least she still stood by Temari's side. Three of the Mist Chuunin and Genin who had been serving the group had actually made a run for it. Little shits. Come on, there were _how many_ A and S class shinobi in the room? What drama queens. It was going to be fine.

But she had orders. So Aiko crossed her bent arms at the elbows, palms out, and then whipped out the chains to full length as she slid her arms over one another, straightening them to guide her weapons' trajectory. The chains attached to her right arm caught Fuu around her left upper arm and immediately curled around her torso, failing to secure her right because the limb had been raised. The momentum began to tip the jinchuuriki over sideways even as the chains that had shot from Aiko's left elbow caught Fuu on her right hip (Tokiwa barely dodged in time) and snaked down and around her legs, tangling all the way to Fuu's ankles and pulling her feet entirely off the ground. She hit the cement with a clang and a painful thump.

The only sound was the scrape of chain against the cement as Fuu struggled. Apparently, she wasn't terribly vocal like Nii had been, but the red of her eyes was directed at Aiko with more than a bit of fury.

She was mildly curious about what everyone was thinking as the girl they suspected of stealing jinchuuriki held one down easily, but Aiko didn't dare take her eyes off Fuu while she was still under demonic thrall. She'd been told to solve the problem, and she would look like a gigantic ass if she let Fuu slip free due to carelessness. It was one thing for others to think she was immature- they might underestimate her- but it was quite another for them to think that she was incompetent or incapable of following through on orders.

Mei was the one who broke the stand-off. Her voice echoed mockingly off the distant ceiling that kept the sun off the group. "That was fun, but perhaps the tournament is over. Why don't we break for the day? Personally, I hope to see some of you lovely ladies in the hotel reception room tonight. I have some small games planned, as well as refreshments."

Aiko could practically hear Tsunade perk up at the suggestion of free drinks, and she knew where she would be later that night.

Surely enough, after Fuu came back to her senses and cringingly apologized for the trouble, keeping Aiko in her white-rimmed eyes the whole time, Tsunade and Mei led them all but arm-in-arm and chattering gaily on the way to the hotel. Apparently, an amusing diplomatic fiasco and the promise of a free bar melted all sorts of barriers. They'd spent enough time after everyone else had left in the clean-up that the small group went directly to the event room Mei had referred to as the 'reception hall' in the hotel room. They were the first ones there, since everyone else had gone to their rooms or for a walk when released. It was only proper to allow Mei to be the first, as the hostess, so it wasn't surprising.

The Konoha nin stopped dead in their tracks when they caught their first sight into the reception hall.

It wasn't the garish decorations, although the room had been prepared along an aesthetic that was best described as 'glitter rainforest'. It wasn't the full bar, it wasn't the geisha strumming the koto in a corner, and it wasn't even the enormous hot tub in the center of the room that was dotted by floating candles.

Well, it was partly those things, but it was mostly the small group of rather attractive young men who were scattered around the room behind the bar or standing by racks of towels. Mei had apparently decided that today was 'Casual Friday' and that there was no need for shirts.

"I'll bite," Tsunade said numbly. "What the hell is this?"

' _Besides a hilarious glance into Mei's psyche, you mean?'_

At Aiko's side, Fuu sputtered a little helplessly, all but clinging to the girl she'd been so frightened of a moment ago. Aiko absently wrapped a comforting arm around Fuu's shoulders and took the opportunity to brush a seal there with her fingertips. She tried not to grin at the elation of having sneakily added one more to her collection of tagged jinchuuriki. That made… Well. Naruto, Gaara, Fuu, Yugito, and Shinji. That was five. Hot damn, she was much better at this collection game than Akatsuki.

Mei shot Tsunade a faux-offended look, placing a hand on her chest. "Tsunade-san, weren't you aware that the employment rate for men aged seventeen to twenty-three is the lowest it's been in decades? I know it might not be in the spirit of this conference, but my tender heart couldn't help but feel for them. We're stimulating the economy by providing temporary employment for young men in the area."

Tsunade choked at the innuendo, giving Mei an incredulous look. "I feel… dirty," she mused. Still that didn't stop her from shrugging and striding into the room as if she owned the place.

"They're just so cute," Mei huffed lowly, giving Tsunade a mischievous look. Subtle, she was not. Aiko didn't exactly approve of the hint of sexual exploitation in the way that Mei had tailored her staff, but the sheer unrepentant tackiness of the whole affair was rather glorious.

"Mei-neesan, have I ever told you that you are my personal hero?" Aiko asked conversationally, taking a towel from an attendant with a wink and slinging it over her shoulder. He directed her towards the changing rooms with a flirtatious smirk that Naruto might have punched his face in for, but she wasn't fussed. It was kind of funny, and it wasn't as though any of them seemed like they'd been coerced into wandering around in their swimtrunks.

Mei outright laughed. "No, but thank you. I _do_ deserve that and all other compliments you can think of."

Tsunade made a wounded sound. "I should be your hero."

"No, you're already Tenten and Sasuke's personal hero," she deflected nonchalantly.

"Who the fuck is Tenten?" was the last thing she heard muttered confusedly as Aiko crossed the room and pulled the door shut behind her. She stripped easily and left every item on her person but the pin in her hair into the provided basket. It wasn't exactly that she trusted everyone here: of course she didn't. But everything she had with her, barring the hairpin was replaceable. The yukata was nice, yes, but she had a whole closet full of them. (Hey, she liked clothes, even if she wasn't very good at putting together outfits that didn't make other people cringe).

She entered the water with her towel on, even if that wasn't exactly conventional. Aiko wasn't particularly body shy, but she didn't see the need to show off her scars and comparatively dinky chest in front of the smexy kage powerhouses in front of her. Fuu looked about ready to implode from embarrassment and kept glancing nervously at the brunet who was chatting with Mei and bringing drinks to the group, but she bravely sunk in the now bubbly, flora-scented water up to her chin instead of fleeing.

' _Poor thing. I think she doesn't want to risk miffing Mei any more after she lost control earlier. She's trying to do damage control, but Fuu clearly doesn't want to be here.'_

Aiko gave the other girl a sympathetic smile. Fuu really couldn't be that much older than she was, and apparently she was a bit shy. That was a hard personality trait to have in their business.

Other kunoichi began trickling in. About five others made an immediate bee-line for the hot water where two of the most important political figures were already soaking, but others settled at the bar, in front of the sunny windows on lounge chairs with card games and complimentary books, or even around the shoji sets interspersed through the fake forest.

"Suddenly, I am so very glad that I never told Jiraiya this conference was happening," Tsunade groaned, laying back in the water and letting one boy put a drink in her hand while another put cucumbers over her eyes. "He would get way too big of a kick out of this."

"I actually have four ANBU teams specially tasked with keeping him and all 'suspicious' toads out of city limits," Mei said dryly. "Nadeshiko insisted. As did Iwa. Waterfall. Ku-"

"Alright, alright already," Tsunade waved away, faux-testily. The tone was ruined by her rueful grin. "I get the point. He's a scoundrel. If an apology is what you want, I can draft one, but I've never been able to control him." She gestured blindly with her drink at Aiko (inadvertently sloshing something pink and fruity into the pool). "But this one might be helpful."

Temari gave a barking laugh, letting her own clothes drop directly on the floor and stepping in the tub without a care. Her little genin hanger-on was so red-faced that Aiko thought she might actually combust (probably a good hint that Suna didn't have the same cultural nonchalance about nudity in bathhouses that Konoha or Mist did), but the blonde didn't seem to care. "Does Aiko really have a miraculous jutsu to keep him out or something?"

"No, he's my godfather," Aiko yawned, giving a stretch. "He probably doesn't want to see me naked."

Temari dubiously repeated, "Probably?" She slowly shook her head. "Why can't you say that with a little more confidence?" Her voice was unusually high-pitched.

"He's an odd duck," Aiko muttered, laying a hand over her eyes and leaning back.

Mei visibly cringed. "I would hope he would have that small amount of shame." She gave her glass a distasteful look. "I need more alcohol to help me forget that disturbing implication, right away."

"Hey, you could utilize that information for good instead of evil," Fuu cut in with a little amusement, eyes darting to Aiko (and then immediately down into the bubbly water with a blush). "Just…" She cleared her throat to try again. "Just put up glamour shots of Uzumaki-san on billboards if we have a conference like this again. I'm sure that would be suitably scarring. You could justify it as advertising, since she's basically the winner of our tournament. She was the only contestant to beat two other people." Her voice got tinier and tinier until it trailed off into meek nothingness.

Fuu cringed back from the indignant look that Aiko shot her, even as other kunoichi gave in to giggles. "Hey, I'm not so hideous that I should be used to ward off perverts," she protested crossly. "I'm no Tsunade, but I'm not exactly Danzo in a dress, either."

Tsunade spit out a mouthful of her icy drink into the glass still at her lips. "That's disgusting!" she protested crossly, wiping her mouth with the back of a hand. "I can never un-think that image."

"Do I want to know who Danzo is?" Mei asked curiously.

Aiko shook her head. "Not really, other than that he's like seventy years old, cantankerous as all hell, and not about to win Miss Konoha any time soon."

There was a moment of silence.

"Uzumaki, you're a buzz-kill," Yugito posited clinically from the other end of the tub. "I think that in punishment, you should be used to ward off Jiraiya. That statement is not merely motivated by self-interest or personal dislike."

She just rolled her eyes. "You all just lack humor." Aiko considered the conversation over, and turned to lever herself out of the pool. She froze at Temari's curious tone.

"Aiko, is that a tattoo?"

Defensively, she clapped her hand awkwardly over her shoulder blade, (not noticing or caring that a blond cabana boy was gaping stupidly at the way her towel slumped) and shook her head. "Nope! Definitely not." She grabbed another towel from the closest pile and draped it over her shoulders before turning to give the kunoichi still in the hot tub a cheesy grin. "Don't be silly, Temari!"

The Suna nin didn't look convinced, but she just shrugged the abjectly bad denial off.

The soaked towels were a little uncomfortable, so she gratefully accepted the plain robe that was offered and hurriedly changed into that.

At least the company could have been worse. For all her meddling, Konan apparently drew the line at excess socialization, which Aiko both understood and was grateful for (though it did seem like a strange opportunity to miss). She didn't drink more than a serving of alcohol, however, because the idea of being chemically compromised here didn't sit well with her. Tsunade was a badass bitch and could just burn the liquor off if she needed to, but Aiko did stupid things like get tattoos and giggle all night in bars with her ANBU captain when she drank, apparently.

As a reward to herself for being good in regards to mind-altering substances, Aiko allowed one of the masseuses Mei had arranged for to rub some sort of luxurious conditioner into her hair before braiding it and another to give her a foot massage and a pedicure, opting for pink paint out of the rather limited selection. Absently flirting was fun, but as the night dragged on she grew more and more tense and just wished that Tsunade would allow them to leave. The Hokage appeared to be having the time of her life, however, red-cheeked and laughing up a storm with Mei, all but collapsing over each other. The conversation over there seemed to have degenerated into tall tales about fights with missing nin (the only universally politically correct bad-guy to brag about beating up, Aiko noted with vague amusement).

"Would you like a drink?"

"I said no the last ten times, so you can feel free to _stop asking_ ," Aiko snapped testily. Immediately, she regretted it and gave a sigh. "I'm sorry, that was rude. I'm a bit tired."

The heavily pierced redhead gave her a faint smile. "No apologies necessary."

"You think you're sso hot," Kurotsuchi slurred, lurching over to point a good foot to Aiko's left, clearly too inebriated to see straight. The redhead whose name she had never asked looked mildly repulsed as the Iwa-nin rather ineptly menaced Aiko. "I could- I can take all three of you." Her brunette attendant followed her over with a long-suffering expression and laid a hand on the girl's shoulder to steer her from starting a fight.

"Yeah, you could sit on me," Aiko mumbled, tossing her braided hair over her shoulder and disengaging with a shared eye-roll with the older teen that she'd snapped at earlier.

' _I am not getting paid anywhere near enough for this,_ ' she sighed. ' _Baby-sitting heads of state while they alternately politick and get as much relaxation as they can squeeze in is too stressful for a stupid A class mission.'_

"Aiko! Walk me back to my room." Temari tossed a hand over Aiko's shoulder. It looked relaxed, but the fingers that laid against the muscles over her collarbone were tense.

This at least promised to be interesting, so she let herself be led up a floor. "Hey, your room is pretty close to mine," she noted. She wondered where Matsuri was, but didn't ask. It might not be something Temari wanted brought up right now.

"That's probably not a coincidence," Temari huffed, shaking her hair out and unlocking her door. "They probably tried to separate people they thought might get into fights as much as possible."

Aiko snorted. "Joke's on them, if I leave her alone for much longer, Tsunade is either going to end up in a fist fight with Mei or sitting on her bed all night while they gossip and paint each other's toenails."

For all that she'd claimed to be disapproving at first, Tsunade had been giggling incoherently at cute men for the past hour or so. That was probably a pretty good sign that she should be going to nap.

"They do have a disturbingly inconsistent dynamic," Temari mused with a slight grimace. Then she shook her head. "That's not important right now. You noticed that something was seriously off with that woman from Ame, right?"

Relieved, Aiko nodded. "I'm glad it's not just me. I think that she's trying to cause trouble."

The blonde frowned. "Something about her bothers me. I think that she has been paying far too much attention to me and alienating the smaller villages from Suna and Konoha in specific. I'm sending Matsuri home. I can't leave, but I wanted to see if you had any ideas. She's been on your case as well since we got here."

"It might just be my enormous paranoia," Aiko acknowledged, "but I can't help but think that the only agenda she could be serving by creating dissent the way she is would be Akatsuki's."

Temari outright shuddered. "I don't like that idea," she said darkly, giving a wary glance at the door. "It had crossed my mind that she was a spy, but I had assumed that Ame was planning to try to undermine us for some reason and not that she might actually be affiliated with Akatsuki."

Aiko snorted, reaching out to ascertain that Konan's seal and the woman attached weren't nearby before she responded. Assuming the Akatsuki had gone to her hotel room, she was based two floors above them on the opposite end of the building. That was definitely too far to overhear, so she didn't feel too wary about intimating, "Why does it have to be one or the other?"

She couldn't outright say that she _knew_ things like that with no evidence, but she could lead Temari to the right conclusions if she was willing to listen. Tsunade had been disinterested, but here was a willing ear. If Temari got Gaara on the right track, then Tsunade would have to pay attention to the admittedly minor bits of evidence she had under the guise of an intuitive leap.

"You don't beat around the bush, do you," Temari said wryly.

' _You don't know the half of it.'_

She felt a sudden rush of honesty well up. Sure, this was a big hint as to her most important technique, but she did trust Temari. The sand kunoichi was a genuine ally, and sharing this information could help them make a better plan of action. Besides, it was almost like following through on her promise to Yamato… even if he might have preferred that she work with Tsunade rather than Temari.

Well, Temari wasn't an inebriated hot mess right now.

"On that note, I should probably tell you that I tagged her. So at least I know where she is at all times."

Temari's expression twisted into incredulousness before she gave the distinct impression that she had a massive headache. "How?" she asked helplessly, before making a sharp motion with one hand to cut off conversation. "Never mind that. You mean a Hiraishin, right?" At the sheepish nod, she outright groaned. "You…" Then she shook her head to start a new train of thought. "That's good. We can use this. Do you think we should try to ambush her?"

Aiko cringed a little. "I'm not sure I want to go that far without provocation," she admitted. "If we get caught, it would seem to validate every stupid claim she's been making."

Left unsaid was that could be even worse than doing nothing, if Konan really was just there to observe. But they could hardly afford _not_ to act on their suspicions if the Akatsuki were going to make infiltrating this conference worth their time by taking a jinchuuriki souvenir.

"So we don't get caught," Temari posited logically.

"Should murdering a diplomat really be option number one?" Aiko asked a bit skeptically.

Temari snorted. "I highly doubt that she's a real diplomat. But you're probably right about not making that our first option. Then again, what would undermine her claims quite like doing something highly suspicious like just disappearing?" She gave a cruel little smile and wavered her hand in the air to emphasize the point.

' _God, I love this girl.'_

"That'll only work as long as it looks like she was the one who made a break for it," Aiko reasoned out, tugging on her braid. "If it seems like something went wrong and made her panic, anyone with a healthy sense of self-preservative paranoia will investigate her further. What do we need to do to avoid leaving the impression of foul play?"

* * *

Aiko jerked into consciousness in the dead of night, with no idea what was wrong. But something had to have woken her up. Out of habit, her first check was a visual scan, a chakra pulse, and then she quietly peered into Tsunade's room under Jiraiya's chameleon genjutsu with her chakra silenced.

' _Nothing_.'

She frowned, unsettled. Had it just been paranoia? A bad dream that woke her up?

' _I can't dismiss this. If something is wrong and I ignore it…'_

She trailed off the thought, realizing that her mind was only leading her to one prominent idea of what could go horribly wrong. There were multiple variations on the scenario, of course, but they all involved Konan.

Konan. Who was crossing the hotel towards Temari's room. Temari, who was lodging alone after Matsuri had left. Somewhat unpleasantly, she realized that it would look awfully suspicious that Temari had sent Matsuri home if Temari were to disappear in the dead of the night.

' _If Kumo could think of using a jinchuuriki's sister as bait, Akatsuki could. And she might be trying the same thing we thought of: making her look like a suspect by suspiciously disappearing her.'_

If Konan were to do something like take a jinchuuriki with her, Temari would be the obvious suspect. And that was disregarding the value Temari had as a hostage against Gaara.

On the bright side, this neatly wrapped up the problem Temari and Aiko had wrestled with about how to avoid any signs of foul play. No one would look for signs of a struggle in Temari's room, and Konan had doubtlessly made sure she wasn't seen on her way to Temari's rooms. They could turn Konan's trap back on her.

' _That's assuming that she doesn't know about the seal I put on her.'_ Aiko frowned, rapidly strapping on her arm protectors and shoving on her boots. They doubtlessly looked stupid with the white tank top and pink cotton shorts she was wearing for pajamas, but there wasn't time to change further. Of course, since she was still under Jiraiya's genjutsu, it didn't matter much. ' _If she does know about that, she would deal with it by having backup and get both of us at one time. This could easily be that trap.'_ Uncertainly, she glanced over at the room where her Hokage was sleeping. Going to check on Temari would mean leaving Tsunade alone.

' _Temari is in definite danger. Tsunade… She can take care of herself. I won't be gone long.'_

Aiko hastily dropped her genjutsu and knocked on the wall in Tsunade's room to startle her awake from a safe distance. "Tsunade-sama!" she hissed, keeping her voice low even as the older woman lurched upwards to glare at her. "That creepy woman from Rain is approaching Temari's room. I think she's trying something."

Tsunade groaned and fell back into her bed with a whumpf. "Enough with the Rain-nin," she huffed, rubbing at a temple. "Really, you woke me up to tell me that your new personal enemy is walking around the halls at four in the morning? Maybe she needs to get some damn ice. Bother me when you have something more solid to act on."

She had to resist the urge to stomp her foot childishly against the ground. Tsunade didn't believe that there was reason to worry, but from her perspective, the evidence was pretty circumstantial at best. Fine. "Can I go check on her?" Aiko bit out testily. She swung around and back into her room the instant she had permission, slapping a seal onto her door so that she could return and pulling Jiraiya's genjutsu back on. By this point, Konan had stopped moving… probably actually inside Temari's room. She couldn't linger. There just wasn't time to argue with Tsunade.

She didn't like the plan, but she silenced her chakra signature, took a calming breath, and flickered to Konan's seal. Temari was standing combatively in front of her bed, mussy-haired and pajama clad. By contrast, Konan was fully dressed in the same outfit that Aiko had noted the day before. Ew.

"I'm afraid I will have to ask you to come with me."

Temari gritted her teeth, probably noting the same irony that Aiko had about their pipe-dream ambush being turned back. Her eyes darted towards her fan—propped against the wall, right next to the impassive looking Konan.

But lo and behold, the blue-haired woman didn't seem to notice Aiko at all. That was more of a shock than anything. Shouldn't an elite terrorist be able to spot some geeky teenager trying to sneak up on her? Granted, the hope had been that she would pass unnoticed, but she hadn't really thought it would work.

Temari jerked towards her weapon and then leapt backwards, narrowly avoiding getting pinned to the wall by some small weapon that Aiko hadn't even seen Konan throw.

' _Well, item number one on the agenda is to take this fight away from here so we don't draw any attention… or worse, so that we don't find out exactly how she was planning to extract Temari. If Konan really is reliant on some paper-based ninjutsu, the easiest way to decrease her combat capacity is to get any paper on her soggy.'_

She spent a long moment willing Temari to step closer to Konan so that she could flash between the two and grab them at the same time. But that wasn't going to happen, Temari was a mid-to long range fighter. Of course she didn't want to get any closer.

Oh. Duh.

' _If only I had a jutsu that allowed instantaneous travel so that I could come back for the person I initially leave behind,_ ' Aiko mocked herself internally, shaking her wrist to loosen up the joints and gritting her jaw. ' _Dumbfuck_.' She flash-stepped immediately behind Konan and burnt a Hiraishin seal onto the back of her neck even as she tore the two of them away from Water Country and dropped them into a section of ocean that should be between Wave Country and Mist's island chain.

Konan sputtered, but regained her balance to stand on the water and darted forward to break free of Aiko's grip. Disappointing. She was going to have to be forced into the water instead of obligingly fall in out of surprise. Whatever her faults, Konan had excellent reaction time. And many small weapons falling out of her robe to hover oddly at her side and around her in a cloud that partially obscured the older woman, even as she looked around for her new opponent with a small line of confusion pressed between her eyes.

' _Yes, paper. That's definitely paper coming out of her sleeves,_ ' Aiko judged grimly. _'Kind of pretty though.'_

She didn't care how pretty it was. She didn't want to be killed by thousands of papercuts. It was something like what she imagined working in an office would be like.

She spotted the exact instant that Konan seemed to notice the slight shimmer left by the chameleon genjutsu in the night air, which was frankly impressive. It was hard enough to see in daylight. Maybe she wasn't a total idiot.

"Jiraiya?" Konan sounded confused.

Aiko's jaw dropped in indignation at the same time the genjutsu did. "Did you seriously just mistake me for a fifty year old man?" She asked incredulously, placing a hand on her chest. She wasn't old! Konan was the old one. Who the hell was she to criticize Aiko?

"Uzumaki," Konan breathed, quirking her fingers delicately to direct the cloud of paper butterflies hovering in a cloud at her command.

"Yes, it's Uzumaki, you tacky idiot," she snapped irritably, tilting her hip out combatively. "Because I pity you and you're obviously as thick as you are blind, here's an economics lesson. Maybe if you bothered to spend ten dollars on waterproof mascara, you wouldn't look like a five dollar hooker. I doubt it though, since you're dumb enough to match your eyeshadow to your hair."

' _And maybe if it were waterproof, it wouldn't run down your stupid face when I soak you. You stupid head.'_

Konan looked confused, frankly, but Aiko didn't have time for her shit. She flickered back to the hotel (and had to reorient outside of Temari's room and let herself in sheepishly because she hadn't thought to plant a seal there) to grab her comrade. Temari was still blinking at her room, though she'd turned the light on and snatched up her fan to hug it protectively to her chest.

"We're going on a field trip," Aiko said grimly, grabbing Temari's arm and forcibly dragging her to the position where she'd left Konan. Perhaps she should have warned her comrade, because Temari yelped and sank down to her ankles before she reflexively adjusted to stand on the water.

' _Well, I don't need two seals on her,'_ Aiko thought a bit vindictively, and yanked on the explosive she had first planted on Konan.

The Akatsuki gave out a tiny grunt, but didn't have the wherewithal to control the widening of her eyes when her hip suddenly decided that it wanted to spontaneously combust. It demonstrated that desire with a violent expulsion of chunks of flesh and a spatter of hot blood that arced out over the water. Konan jerked sideways, nearly dropping to her knee before she re-balanced.

Aiko was reluctantly impressed. Now that was adapting. It wasn't what she'd wanted, though: she had thought that Konan would lose concentration long enough to get soaked.

"Did your hip just go out?" Temari snarked, hefting her fan ominously and letting the first joint slide silently open. "I hear that's normal for the elderly. That's okay, I'm sure you can just stand and fight. You don't look like much of a runner anyway, grandmother time."

Konan heaved a jagged breath and cut her right arm across her torso violently without so much as a word, possibly because her teeth were still gritted shut. Aiko jerked away from the spray of paper that shot towards the two girls, but Temari stood her ground and flipped her fan all the way open in one smooth motion before viciously batting the projectiles back at Konan. Some flew past, some came to an abrupt halt, but some connected with the woman and melded into her clothing.

"Come on," Temari jeered, expression ugly. "You think you're going to hit either of us with something like that?"

The Akatsuki narrowed her eyes and flung both arms upward. It would have been a dramatic move if even she hadn't grown enormous white wings and shot straight upwards into the air.

"Okay, that might help," Temari acknowledged quietly, tilting her head slightly to the side as Konan partially dissolved up to her hips into thousands of sheets of colored paper, which apparently decided that now was an excellent time to fold into shuriken that glinted in a rather ominous way that implied they weren't regular paper. The sight momentarily took Aiko's breath away: what little she could see under moon and starlight, anyway. They hung in the air for a split second, alien and beautiful.

And then they weren't just floating on the breeze.

"Move!" Aiko half-shrieked, barreling her ally out of the way when they shot downwards. It was like trying to dodge raindrops—they were so thickly packed that they was no way to avoid the barrage without escaping the hundred-foot wide crowd. She flung her arms around Temari just as the first of the tiny blades came crashing down onto her head. She jerkily reoriented the two of them several hundred feet away to Konan's left, though unfortunately still in her range of vision since Konan had taken the high ground.

The next thing she registered was that blood was soaking her face. "Ow," Aiko said dumbly, running a hand up her head to pull out the half-dozen tiny blades sticking directly into her skull. Temari was wide-eyed but unharmed, having ducked while Aiko had moved horizontally. The only blood on her was Aiko's. Pain came a moment later.

"I think now would be a good time to test your theory that getting her wet would slow her down," Temari said a bit faintly. Aiko nodded, wiping blood out of her eyes as best as she could with the underside of her forearm.

"Good plan. Please tell me you have a kunai or something like that on you? Anything small."

Temari hurriedly hitched up her sleeping robe to her thigh and yanked a single short blade off a leg holster. "Make it count."

"I will," Aiko responded a bit grimly, pressing a Hiraishin seal onto it—and then throwing it directly downwards, into the ocean. She didn't wait to see Temari's (no doubt hilarious) reaction before she shot upwards to Konan and violently wrapped her hands around the woman's neck where her seal was and then instantly brought the two of them back down to the seal she had just thrown down into the freezing depths of the ocean.

' _Ha. Water beats paper.'_

Except the next thing she knew was that Konan had dissolved into razor sharp sheaves of paper under her grip and brutally sliced at all the flesh she found, scoring dozens of times on her fingers, hands, and up her arms. She had kicked away from the pain in the same instant, slightly before she could register the biting pain from hundreds of tiny cuts into her torso and shoulders.

' _Water does not beat paper!_ _Paper wins, paper wins!'_ Aiko thought somewhat frantically, and ricocheted back up to the surface to wrap her cold arms around her torso and put pressure on the worst of the bleeding.

That had all happened in less than two seconds. Temari's eyes were wide and aghast with just a little bit of fear, and Aiko knew that the Sand kunoichi had caught on to the same thing that she had even as she rushed to brace Aiko up.

They couldn't beat Konan.

"New plan," Temari huffed, jerking her fan up to shield them as paper shards shot out of the water and veered at the two kunoichi. She couldn't help grimacing at the ugly sounds of colliding metal. "We're not going to be able to kill her. Retreat?"

"I never retreat, but I think that we could advance in a backwards direction," Aiko shot back with a faint smile that didn't reach her eyes. "We can't leave her here, though. She's too close. She could come back to Mist within the day."

"How far away can you dump her off?," Temari asked grimly, arms shuddering under the force of holding up her weapon against Konan's paper spears that definitely were not paper.

Aiko shrugged helplessly. "The northern half of Wind country? But I don't think that's necessarily a good idea."

Temari gave an ugly bark of a laugh. "If that woman wanted to get through the borders, she would, so that wouldn't be the worst. But I think she's laying low for some reason. I bet that she'll go back home. Could you take her straight to Rain?"

"I don't want to go there, but… Grass?"

A single sheaf of paper fluttered innocently through the gap between Temari's fan and the surface of the water.

' _Well, that can't be anything good.'_

Aiko clung to her friend like a limpet and Hiraishin'd them a hundred feet away. It wasn't quite enough to escape the massive wave that erupted after what had apparently been an explosive tag snapped into fire on their old position. Both girls were slapped with a good hundred-something pounds of force and dragged into the salty water.

"Just get the bitch!" Temari forced out breathlessly, spitting sea water out and futilely trying to climb back up to the still agitated surface of the water. The next shockwave of water from the epicenter dragged them both back under.

' _I can't. Not as long as she's in hundreds of pieces.'_

Despairingly, Aiko kicked upwards towards the faint hint of moonlight she could see, feeling Temari struggling similarly at her side. She would Hiraishin up, but the seconds spent underwater were actually her best chance at an opportunity to think, as terrifying as that was.

What would make Konan reform? Well, the need to do something that she couldn't do as thousands of pieces of paper seemed to be a good bet.

That meant she needed to parse out what Konan could and couldn't do as paper. Clearly, she could kick their asses. But she couldn't take either of them captive, or talk to them.

So, what, pretend to be defeated? It wouldn't be much of a play. She was in very real danger of bleeding out if she didn't slow her heartbeat and get medical attention. Temari was fresh, though, having blocked or been out of the way of Konan's attacks so far.

Konan would probably make a move to capture them once they were incapacitated, but she didn't want to have to have Konan beat on Temari to that point to get her to make a move.

Temari seemed to clue in at the same time Aiko did, and her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Don't you da-"

Too late. Aiko carried Temari to her hotel room and the two collapsed with an ugly squelching thud on the carpeted floor, soaking and shuddering. Tsunade burst into the room an instant later.

"Tsunade, stop her-" Temari snapped out, but Aiko flash-stepped back wards and held her hands out, openly pleading for them to understand.

"I can't leave her there! She'll just come back and it'll be so much worse. She'll only make a move to become solid if she thinks she's won. That's the only way I'll be able to grab her and get her out. I'll let her think I'm being cocky and want to take her by myself so that she reforms once it's obvious she's won."

Bless her heart, Tsunade was both quick on the uptake and didn't ask stupid questions. "If you get any more beat up, you're going to lose consciousness, and you really might die or be taken captive," she warned grimly, moving to help Temari up off the floor. "Is whatever is going on worth that risk?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Aiko replied, relieved that Tsunade was willing to trust her judgment in a hurry. "Permission to re-engage target?"

"Yes, but Sabaku here is going to be explaining things," Tsunade gave Temari a warning glare. Aiko pulled a tired smile at the sight, letting it be the last thing she noted in the hotel. At least she didn't have to be the one to talk things out with Tsunade.

Back on the water, Aiko scanned the area for her opponent, cursing that the increased light in her hotel room had diminished her night vision again.

' _Focus, just focus. I just need to draw her out into showing herself, grab her, and ditch her in the desert somewhere. Then I can go back to Tsunade and get medical attention.'_

Harder than it sounded. The night was ominously still and silent. Apparently Konan had some genjutsu or something to help her hide as well. Maybe she'd just left. Maybe Aiko was too late and she was on her way back to Mist.

' _My legs are shaking,_ ' she noted distantly.

Funny. She didn't remember getting her legs injured. Still, her left knee wobbled precariously. It gave out when she was hit from behind. Aiko caught herself on her elbows and immediately scrambled forward, splashing as her focus wavered and she partially dipped below the water, struggling to get to her feet. That pretty well proved that Konan was here. She had to regain her feet and grab her—chakra chains if she had to, although Konan was likely to just dissolve around them and escape.

And then she knew nothing.

* * *

"She's not coming back tonight, is she," Temari asked quietly, staring down at the five small splotches of blood on the hotel carpet. They had waited for two hours, and the sun was beginning to warm them through the window.

Tsunade looked strangely pale. "I don't think she is," she agreed numbly. "I think it's time that we go seek out the Mizukage. I think that this counts as a kidnapping from her conference. We're going to have to go with a selective lie, however."

"What, don't want to tell anyone that Aiko's been marking everyone within arm's reach?" she asked tiredly, not really able to inject any venomous humor. Her friend was either dead or lost to Akatsuki.

' _and it should have been me. If she hadn't followed Konan to my room, it would be me. My tessen is all but shot, and I only took a couple blows. I couldn't fight that woman at all.'_ Her face tensed, and she clenched her hands into fists at her side. _'I need to get stronger. A lot stronger. I couldn't even keep up with Aiko, and she got her ass handed to her._ '

"No, I don't," Tsunade sighed. "That would be a diplomatic nightmare. New story is that your fight with Konan spilled out into the hall, Aiko heard and went to investigate. I followed out, but a second too late when Aiko took the two of you out of city limits to protect civilians from collateral damage. From there, we can tell the truth." Her gaze drifted to the floor and tightened, staring at the same drying blood stains Temari had been hovering over all night. "Lucky us, we even have some collaborating evidence that there was a fight, and everyone had a chance to see Aiko's skill set the day before, so they won't distrust that she would have reflexively used Hiraishin."

"Yeah, lucky," Temari repeated bitterly, moving to stand. "That's exactly how I feel."


	87. Chateau Akatsuki

NOTES ON LAST CHAPTER THAT WILL CONTRIBUTE TO UNDERSTANDING THIS ONE

Questions from Reviews:

I was really surprised by the wide range of response to last chapter. There was a lot of criticism, but it wasn't on the same page at all. I thought that since I apparently didn't thread things together well enough for everyone to pick up on _why_ what happened was what happened, I would include a section here answering some of that before I build on it. I erred on specificity this time. I separated out three questions by headings, so if you aren't interested in one question, just check the next section.

* * *

Question One

"Why would it be bad if Konan returns after attempting to kidnap Temari? Couldn't Aiko just take her back to Gaara anyways?"

Answer:

Konan returning to Water Country would be problematic for many reasons, (and I'm not sure what Gaara has to do with anything here). They range from real human consequences like possible loss of life, Akatsuki accomplishing whatever it was they wanted (which Temari and Aiko still don't really know) and the enormous shitstorm that the conflict could become in political terms.

You know that saying that 'possession is 9/10s of ownership'? There's a similar property in regards to whose story gets out first when two or more parties are presenting perspectives on a contentious issue. At this point, they are already in some trouble politically speaking as you'll see, but it could be much worse. If Konan went back to that conference, she has the intelligence to claim that the 2 on 1 fight was started by the other side (not unreasonable) and use that as a significant propaganda victory as a way to salvage what she could after her initial plan failed. She wouldn't have gotten a hostage, but she would have a pretty convincing piece of evidence for her claim that Suna and Konoha are warmongers.

That's only if we assume that her plan is shot, however. It could well be that if she were to go back to Water Country (and Aiko didn't take her very far away at all, she could be back before dawn) she might attempt another target, engage them again, or even settle for civilian or collateral damage. It's true that there are high-level shinobi present, but Aiko and Temari have just seen that Konan is an absolute monster, and that's not the type of person you fight within miles of civilians unless there is absolutely no choice. Yes, there are strong shinobi there, but the kage are probably the only ones who could fight on Konan's level and there are damn good reasons that kage so seldom get involved in fights excepts as a very last resort: losing a kage is exponentially worse for a country than losing even the best jounin. It would be downright irresponsible for Tsunade to leap into a fight and possibly leave Konoha adrift. It sucks, but that's why they make the apparently wasteful decision of having their most powerful shinobi act as leaders rather than wade into the fighting all the time.

Back on topic. Aside from the fact that it could well force them to war with Mist if Water Country gets torn up (or just damage their relationship) every issue is more sensitive and likely to have exponentially consequences than it would otherwise when it happens around multiple groups of important people with varying goals and perspectives. It could have become an absolute mess, with people trying to put blame on everyone else, take advantage of the confusion, or just try to get even.

It was just much safer to try to get Konan out of the way as they had originally wanted, even though they had hoped to either capture or kill her [ _Aiko wanted to capture Konan, and Temari wanted to kill her_ ] then to have to deal with those potential consequences which could easily lead to war in a half-dozen ways. Their situation wouldn't have been ideal even if Aiko had returned, but they had much better options, ranging from 'That Rain lady is gone? I have no idea what happened' to full disclosure.

* * *

Question Two

"Not so long ago, we saw Aiko resolving not to attack Conan because: A. She's too strong for her.  
B. Her boyfriend will go on a rampage even if she somehow managed to kill her.

Ninja risk themselves all the time to achieve higher goals, but what possible gain does Aiko see from practicaly commiting suicide by Conan? (Yeah, she probably won't die because she's the protagonist, but that's not supposed to be a part of her decision making process...)  
After all, Conan is rather irrelevant in the larger scheme of things, and is probably one of the weaker members of her organisation, so again, what's the point?

Awhile before that she got all teary eyed when Yamato pointed out that she's very close to doing to her brother the same thing that Minato did to them - dying and leaving them alone - a fact that made her rather cross with him, and here she acts as if that conversation never occured.

Is she pregnant perchance?... *Something* has to be affecting her mind.

It can't possibly be that you handed her the Idiot Ball. Right?..."

Answer:

I did not, in fact, hand Aiko the idiot ball, and the insinuation that pregnancy makes women act like idiots vexed me terribly. Probably wasn't intended that way, I hope.

I'm afraid that this perspective accurately summed up Aiko's main points of trepidation about ambushing Konan, but didn't really adapt for the change in situation. Aiko did not know that Konan was too strong for her at all: she suspected, which made her want to avoid starting a fight. I think that's only pragmatic. But Aiko wasn't the one who started the fight here, which drastically altered the situation. There's a big difference between dithering about engaging in a possibly unnecessary risk and attempting to use near-lethal force once someone else has proven your suspicions aren't baseless.

She does keep in mind that she doesn't necessarily want to kill Konan: weighing possible, theoretical consequences of pissing off Pein again the possible gain and risk Konan presents. [and that's important to stress. She doesn't really _know_ that Pein would give a rat's ass, so this is an abstract concern that she is keeping in mind, not a critical part of her decision making process] That's why she doesn't automatically go for the kill shot when she has two explosives on her. (Although whether or not that would actually kill Konan is debatable).

Temari is the only one who says anything at all about killing Konan, and even that is in a moment of panic. Aiko consistently expresses the desire to 'remove' Konan, although sometimes it is vague whether she is thinking specifically of leaving her blinking at a lizard in the desert, in an interrogation cell in Konoha, or in pieces at the bottom of the ocean. What she wants wavers a bit as she fights Konan. She probably would have gone for the 'instant kill' if she had realized just how lethal Konan was from the beginning, but it quickly becomes too late for that once she realizes that her skill set is all but useless against Konan's and that her theories of how to deal with her are working on inadequate data. I personally believe that this perspective is mistaken when it intuits that Konan is one of the weaker members of Akatsuki. I was under the impression that she was one of the strongest.

At least from the perspective of what was intended, Aiko is not acting as though she had never had that conversation with Yamato. She is actually much more cautious than she had been a few chapters back. It doesn't help her, but sometimes them's the breaks. Yamato was not advocating that she stop taking risks and getting in dangerous fights: she could hardly do that without retiring. He was trying to convince her to think about taking unmitigated risks and leaping without thinking or looking for better options.

(I retained the spelling 'Conan' from the quote because the mental image that interpretation gives me is of a big muscular barbarian and I laugh hysterically every single time. OMG, that's glorious, typo or not).

* * *

Question Three

"...wait...so aiko has two seals on her, one in her hip and one on the BACK OF HER NECK, and when she decided to blow one of them, she went with the one on her hip? What? Blowing her head off would have been a fantastic opening move. Instead she tries to get her off balance to force her underwater?

Seems kind of ridiculous. Especially since she knows what konan can do, so she would have a lot of trouble getting another shot if she did her dissolve into paper trick."

Answer:

Aiko did in fact not know what Konan could do, as was expressed in the chapter. That was why she was uneasy. She knew that Konan supposedly used paper as a weapon, but that's a different beast entirely from 'capable of turning entire body into thousands of paper weapons that possess none of paper's weaknesses and conveniently sidesteps Aiko's two best tools'.

If you've read the responses above, you'll already know this, so forgive the iteration, but not only did Aiko have no reason to suspect that she would be unable to drag Konan around with Hiraishin more than once, she was _not initially intending to use lethal force against Konan_. There are two reasons for that : First, she is wary of the potential consequences that Pein might rain down on Konoha, and secondly, she does not know that Konan is dangerous enough that she would be just about impossible to keep as a prisoner and interrogate. Killing everyone… well, that's a permanent solution for a temporary problem, and somewhat analogous to taking a monster truck to all your problems. It might work, but it might well cause you more difficulties than it is worth. Aiko has already demonstrated in past that her perspective is a rather conservative pragmatic one: she would rather have a resource and the luxury to discard it than burn bridges in the first altercation. That being option one, she got burnt a bit when she took too long to realize this was a problem that needed to be solved with option two (kill it with fire, cut off the head, etc, excessive force).

I think that answers just about everything? As I wrote, there were some repetitions of those themes, but myeh.

* * *

The medical conditions discussed and hinted at in this chapter have been researched to the best of my abilities so that I might portray them accurately, but I'm not a doctor. Or an iryo-nin. Or even much of a paper ninja, so take it with a grain of salt.

* * *

"Itachi. Kisame. Report back to the base immediately."

Unimpressed, the two nuke-nin barely bothered to look at the flickering apparition of their leader.

"We were told to report back in four days time," Itachi observed dispassionately. "We will not have time to complete our errand."

"I don't care."

The audible strain in Pein's voice was enough to stiffen Kisame's spine in wariness. Their leader wasn't usually emotive.

"You will report immediately. Itachi, you are the closest to a medic that our organization has. Your skills are required."

The Mist nukenin tried to keep a straight face. Itachi was not a medic by any means. Having copied several medical jutsu did not make him a practitioner of any sort, and although he was competent at the very few jutsu he had bothered to learn, he would probably end up savaging a patient with a problem of any complexity at all.

With that, Pein faded from visibility. Kisame heaved a sigh and stood, slinging Samehada over his shoulder as he went. "Well, that doesn't sound good," he commented sardonically, before turning a toothy grin that lacked joy on his partner. "Think Konan messed up her extraction of her target? That'd be ironic, after Pein got so high and mighty about how incompetent we all supposedly are."

Itachi stood silently. "I do not care to speculate. We shall find out soon enough."

Kisame rolled his eyes, but obligingly set off beside his taciturn partner. "Fair enough. We can find out in person in less than a day if we hurry."

* * *

"Well, this doesn't look suspicious in the slightest," Mei groaned, slumping forwards onto her desk. Her day had been absolute hell. After several rounds of accusations and impassioned speeches, most of the guests at her conference had gone home two days early.

It had been damn lucky that she had met with Tokiwa in the dead of the night to get their modified trade agreements ratified, because it didn't look like anything else mildly productive was going to happen.

"Four," she hissed into the warm wood, giving real consideration to banging her head against the surface to see if it would wake her up from this administrative nightmare. "Four kunoichi are just fucking missing from my backyard."

Even if she doubted Tsunade and Temari's version of events about the Ame representative assaulting and kidnapping Aiko, that hardly explained what the hell had happened to Nii Yugito and Fuu.

Temari and Tsunade had seemed as surprised as anyone else, including Samui, who had been found unconscious on the floor of the suite she shared with Yugito (with no idea how she had gotten there except the ridiculous claim that she had been drugged by Mei's people). Konoha's version of events was the official one she was endorsing (how could she not, they were allies?) but by no means the only one bandied about. Mei did not envy Konoha: the Raikage was going to throw an absolute hysterical fit. If this really had been an Akatsuki plot to create dissent, it had done the job nicely.

The only thing that everyone seemed to agree on was that the two jinchuuriki were victims. Whose victims they were varied. Some thought Konoha, some blamed both Konoha and Sand, some thought Mist was taking advantage of having them in her borders, and of course, Konoha was pointing fingers at Akatsuki. That claim was persuasive to Mei, but it couldn't be investigated until they heard back from Rain to see if they would disown their agent or take responsibility. It was a damn mess.

Mei herself wasn't certain if Rain had ordered Konan to make a move against Aiko or if Konan had been acting as an independent agent- or even for a third party like Akatsuki, but she did believe that Konan had been the one to take Aiko. Not everyone was willing to believe that without proof, of course, especially Iwa. Kurotsuchi had been in her temporary office just hours before pointing out that Konan was one woman and Sabaku no Temari had rather suspiciously cleared her quarters of her vulnerable aide just hours before the fight happened.

To be fair, she could see the point in that suspicion, but she had seen red when it was insinuated that Konoha had sacrificed the Uzumaki girl to make the scene convincing. The Slug Queen was a lot of things, but she wouldn't do that to one of her own people, especially not a resource like Aiko. Even if she wouldn't treat the girl well out of kindness, she would do so out of sense. Mei had mostly given up on having an adorable little seal master of her very own, but it wasn't like there wouldn't be takers if things with Konoha didn't work out.

Not that it mattered now. She had the bitter feeling that Aiko was dead, or wished she was. It was still possible that whoever had her would try to ransom her back, of course, but that would mean taking culpability for a short-term gain when they could easily push the blame around.

If Sabaku no Temari was to be believed, Aiko wasn't even the original target. So there was little hope that Akatsuki or Rain would judge her valuable enough to keep alive. Unless they really were stupid enough to think that Tsunade would allow a trade for her brother, of course, was the caveat. The Kazekage might well have given himself up for his sister, but Tsunade was removed enough from the situation to make that call properly. No matter how unpleasant it was.

Oddly enough, no one had even seemed to consider that the two incidents might not even be directly related, which was Mei's gut feeling. How could Konan have gotten two jinchuuriki out of the village when she was already occupied with her failed assault on Sabaku no Temari? She had either had at least one accomplice, or there was another party entirely. Someone who hadn't so much as blinked at the prospect of sneaking two formidable kunoichi out of an area secured against _Jiraiya_ , for the kami's sake.

' _That's about the only thing that did go right about this mess. We didn't see hide nor hair of that disreputable mutt.'_

Mei's eye twitched. What a pathetically low bar to reach, after all her hard work. Ironic as well. They might have been better off with the hentai in the village, spymaster and all-around nosy twerp that he was. Moodily, she spat a mid-sized glob of lava onto her desk and watched it sizzle through the second draft of her apology to the international community at large. At least she had a couple days before the shit really hit the fan: the last of her guests had left a few hours ago. The remaining Jounin from Lightning would probably be the first to make it home, but her allies in Leaf and Sand wouldn't be home for several days yet to begin demanding that she provide assistance smashing the living hell out of Rain.

There was no way to see what was going to happen exactly, but it didn't take a genius to see that it was going to end in bloodshed. Two jinchuuriki had been kidnapped from her protection, as well as an ally's young rising star of a Jounin. The major villages would be baying for blood before the week was out.

As if the Raikage hadn't been bad enough before.

* * *

Two days after original altercation.

"Do you want me to kill her?" Nagato took Konan's cold hand in his own, solemnly watching the strain in her clenching hand as she tried and failed to rebuild her right hip. The wound was unnatural—it resisted her unique abilities in a way that made no sense. The paper she plastered over the gaping maw only curled up and scorched and had to be excised. Had she been anyone else, she would have bled out of her external iliac artery.

"That will not be necessary." A serene smile turned her face into a vision of beauty. Tenderly transfixed, he raised his grip to press a clammy kiss against her knuckles. He tried not to notice her flinch at the feeling of cold flesh against her hand. "If she dies, then my errand was for naught. I'm afraid I have failed you."

He remained silent. She had, but Konan would not be punished for that. She was only human, after all.

She tilted her face up on her pillow, breathing slowly and evenly. "I did have the opportunity to witness her reputed abilities," Konan murmured peacefully. "She does not lack promise. I may have been too forceful when I disabled her, but I feared that she might create more problems once not hindered by the protection of her comrade."

Nagato didn't much care right now, but she wouldn't have brought the topic up without cause. "Oh?" he intoned matter-of-factly.

Her eyes fluttered shut. "I admit that I covet her chains of chakra. Even a flighty child such as that one found no difficulty restraining an enraged jinchuuriki. Were you to persuade her to take up our noble cause, we would find the remaining captures much expedited."

"Unlikely," he mumbled, brushing her bangs off her forehead and carefully pulling the flower off her hair to rest at bedside. "She is close to the Kyuubi jinchuuriki."

Konan seemed to find just enough strength to look up at him with fond amusement. "You have had no trouble convincing less likely converts in past, Pein-sama. Whether it be the promise of her freedom, a peaceful death for her brother, or more direct means, I know that your modesty hides your ability to convince the girl to join us. She is young and in need of experience, but the raw materials are there to become something beautiful. A part of something greater." She smiled faintly.

He didn't reciprocate, but only because he could not. "Your unwavering faith warms my heart, Konan." He brushed a thumb over the back of her hand in silent reward. "If you have seen that the rumors are based in fact, then your confidence in me is great indeed."

She hummed peacefully under his ministrations. "I do not believe that she has the Hiraishin."

The motion of his hand stopped for a moment. "Oh?"

"Yes. Tsunade of the Densetsu no Sannin claims that the girl is the Fourth Hokage's beget, and that rings true. It is also undeniable that she is able to traverse great distances in the space of thought. Yet what I have seen…" Konan laboriously shook her head, hair rustling with the movement. "That is not the technique of ill-fame. Impressive, yes, but not the Flying God of Thunder. I might have believed that she was hearkening back to the method of the Second Hokage, who used it by placing his technique formula on many locations, because she certainly does not use it in the manner of her father."

"But?" A shiver of curiosity actually crept into his tone.

His old friend heard it and seemed content. "I believe that she was attempting to convince me of this ability when she forcibly transported me many miles from the place where we had been. If she had taken me to the land of waves from Water Country, I would have believed. But she did not succeed. Her technique failed her over the water. There was nothing floating there that could have held a technique formula and disguised her mistake."

"Do you believe that she wields some sort of improved body flicker?" he suggested ponderously, pulling his hand back.

"Yes. A remarkable innovation, to be certain, unconstrained by the usual requirement for line-of-sight. But it is not without limit in regards to distance. From my observations, she is highly accomplished in utilizing this technique in close combat. It was merely ill luck and overestimation of her abilities that revealed the lie."

At the word 'lie', Pein almost managed a frown. "A shame that one so young hides behind deception," he stated disapprovingly.

Blue lips twitched upwards. "Yes," Konan agreed quietly. "Though not entirely. From what I have seen, she is impulsive, immature, but clever enough to mix her falsehoods with truth. I no longer doubt that she was the seal master to seal the bijuu of three-tails. I suspect that reputation helped hide the lie."

"I no longer wish to discuss the character of your prisoner." She flinched into her sheets, but serenely lowered her eyes in respect. "If the girl uses a body flicker, she can be kept. I will allow you to decide how to treat her."

"You are kind." She paused thoughtfully. "I am in no condition to attend to my duties, however."

"I will assign someone to the task." Pein rose to tower over the graceful form draped over an exotic chaise, considering the conversation over. "Rest, so that you will be ready to participate in the sealing ritual."

"Yes," she agreed softly, and closed her eyes.

He gave one last look to his most dedicated servant before striding out to inform Zetsu that he could adjust the cocktail of drugs he was giving the prisoner to a lower concentration. She would be in no condition to make any foolish attempts to defy his will even after Kisame and Itachi returned, and it would be unwise to inadvertently rob himself of a possible instrument for his will through something like an overdose.

* * *

Zetsu was lurking outside the base when they arrived, which always set Kisame's hackles up. He didn't let that show, dismissively passing his gaze over his nominal comrade. He'd always hated plants, ever since he was a kid. Didn't help that the damn thing was coated in dirt. That wasn't unusual—it was how the fucker skulked around instead of walking. Zetsu was habitually filthy, and stank of weeks old blood.

It was considerably more unusual to run into his illustrious leader with loose soil in his hair. Apparently, he'd been in enough of a hurry to subject himself to the indignity of traveling with Zetsu. It was hundreds of times faster than anything else, but _he_ would never be caught dead pretending to be a particularly vigorous root vegetable. Sure, he could travel under the earth when he needed to, but he had the sense not to roll around in it.

"Itachi, you will first tend to Konan."

If he didn't know his partner incredibly well, it would be impossible to tell that he was annoyed at apparently being signed up to play nurse for more than one idiot. Kisame ran his tongue along his lower teeth and idly sliced it open, then sucked on the cuts that resulted just to give himself something to do other than to snigger at the way Itachi curtly nodded and stalked off to obey Pein.

"Kisame, you will be feeding Samehada. Come."

He didn't bother to hide his grin as he silently loped off behind Pein. "Am I stocking up for two extractions then?" Samehada shivered on his back, scraping through the thick fabric of his Akatsuki house coat (no matter what Konan said, it still looked like an ugly house coat to him). It wasn't an implausible theory that Pein would treat him beforehand. He knew he would be shouldering even more of the burden this time around, seeing as how Sasori and the blonde brat had come down with a serious case of dead.

"No."

A brow raised, he waited for clarification. It didn't come until Pein gestured distastefully towards a shut door and began to step away. "Drain the prisoner inside of all but the chakra needed to maintain regular organ function. After that, wait until I return."

Bizarre, but he wasn't about to argue about a free meal. He half-expected to see a jinchuuriki when he shouldered his way into the storage room that had until recently contained extra chairs. At first, he didn't see anything at all.

He let out a snort of amusement when his eyes did land over the bedraggled figure he'd missed on his first pass of the room. Apparently, his new friend had curled up into a ball. A sharp kick fixed that, and he nudged the prisoner over with his foot to see just what bijuu had Pein so worried that he needed it further weakened before they extracted it.

"Not a jinchuuriki at all," Kisame marveled under his breath. It was a little thing. Probably a kunoichi, but a rather scrawny one, albeit rather generously smeared with blood and dirt. Konan really needed to stop dragging hopeless cases home. Zetsu had eaten the damn cat, so you'd think she'd have learned.

He shook his head briskly. What the hell went through his boss's head, he'd never know. Samehada gave a violent jerk, clearly impatient now that she knew the shivering flesh nearby was hers.

"Easy, girl," he soothed, lovingly drawing the blade over his shoulder and beginning to unwrap it. She convulsed eagerly, rippling and growing slightly in her excitement. His heartbeat picked up, keeping pace with her own thrill-seeking. As the last of the wrappings curled on the floor, he took Samehada by the handle again and pointed her downwards to let her guide his hand.

It didn't really matter where she touched her food, but she had preferences sometimes. One of those being that her food didn't stink like Zetsu or have a fine coating of mud, saltwater (what the hell?) or day-old blood. He found himself flipping the girl over and shoving Samehada's tip under the edge of her shirt just to find a clean spot to feed. With a 'shuck' and a blossoming movement like a rose, his beautiful baby opened up and dug her scales into the available flesh, hooking in and sucking eagerly.

Judging by the dirt all over her, fuckin' Zetsu had apparently gotten his thorns into this one too. He let his lip curl into a snarl, but couldn't even feel the normal irritation at the thought. At least the savage had left enough for his blade to feed on. Satiation flooded his veins, hot and heavy and Samehada's contentment was his own. He barely remembered to warn her to leave enough for the girl to live, numb with purring satisfaction by the time Samehada reluctantly pulled back, dripping hot blood over what had been white fabric in a former life.

"Not bad, kid," he conceded easily, feeling generous enough to kick the unconscious girl back over face-up with his foot to give her a little dignity. Samehada'd liked her chakra. It was hot and tumultuous and very definitely water-natured.

Maybe the boss'd keep her around long enough that there would be another feeding for his baby and not just for Zetsu. The thought kept an easy grin on his face, even as the prone body on the floor began shuddering violently. Probably a little too much blood loss and poor circulation, he judged. If she was moving around, that meant she had passed from unconsciousness to sleep of a sort, so he wasn't remotely surprised when the prisoner began to give signs of waking. He kept one eye on her and one on the door, tapping his heel against the floor in a content stupor. Making sure she didn't run off was both grunt work and pointless, but it wouldn't be much longer.

Eyes that had just a little too much green to match the tides back home fluttered open once, and then closed again.

"Are we awake?" he drawled, leaning over his temporary pet with a fond sort of possessiveness.

The eyes opened again, for longer this time. "We're not sure," an alto that didn't entirely match her appearance rasped out guardedly. "Are we… blue?"

Kisame snorted and bared his teeth. "We are," he agreed with fierce humor.

He half-expected her to cringe away or start crying or something else that would betray fear, but the girl just closed her eyes for a moment before attempting to lever up to a seated position. "Then we're awake, but very puzzled."

Feeling generous, he wrapped his hands around both shoulders to pull her up bodily and then let her slump forward. He didn't have all day to watch a teenager try to re-learn how to sit. "Wouldn't move too fast if I were you," Kisame warned good-naturedly, giving her a bracing pat on the upper back that sent her folding over nearly to her knees, wavering. "Just lost a lot of chakra, and you already looked like something the cat dragged in."

A distinctly unladylike snort was his response. "Hardly. I can take a cat. Any cat. Just point me at him."

Privately, he thought she was full of shit. At least as she was, anyway. Maybe he'd give her credit against a housecat on a better day.

The door opened silently, but she was already looking when Pein strode inside testily, Itachi on his heels. He was opening his mouth to demand something-

"Are you the rebellious one, then?" his pet mused a little drunkenly, surprisingly lucid gaze thoughtfully directed at Pein. When he didn't jump to respond, she leaned forward (and nearly fell) to clarify, "I'm starting to think I've been kidnapped by a boy band."

Pein did look a bit like he belonged in a boy band.

Kisame hooted, exchanging a glance with his partner. Itachi didn't seem to enjoy the jibe, though. Kid needed to lighten up. He looked like he'd just heard that his pet bunny died, for Kami's sake.

In the second that Kisame'd looked away, Pein had shot forward and lifted the girl bodily to dangle across from his eyes with his hand wrapped around her neck. "I do not play games, kunoichi," he intoned sternly, tilting his chin up slightly so that light reflected off the metal in his face. "You will earn yourself a painless death by explaining what it is that you have done to my associate."

The Mist nuke-nin took a moment to regret that there would only be one meal.

At her confused blink, Itachi lazily clarified, "Konan-san's wounds resist medical jutsu."

That seemed to clear things up for the kunoichi, but oddly enough, she didn't look concerned. Her face was turning pink and her toes were reaching for the floor rather desperately, but those were the only tells. Her expression was locked into- _hell,_ that was cockiness if he'd ever seen it painted on a face before. What an ornery little shit, he noted fondly. No wonder Samehada had liked her. Eating prey, well that was fine, but Samehada liked other meat-eaters best.

"Oh, that." She wheezed out her answer in the most dignified murmur possible. "That's a stupid question. You should be asking where else I touched her, and if I'm willing to disarm the seals." And then the little bitch actually smiled. Granted, she looked like she was high, but it was a smile.

Pein's fingers tightened, forcing her flesh to bulge around his fingers. His expression was like iron.

That was stupid of him. If he crushed her windpipe, of course she couldn't explain the problem. Kisame half-expected to see Pein break her head open on the wall like an egg in his uncharacteristic agitation (he must really be attached to his partner) but he did seem to have the sense to restrain himself.

Pein let go completely without even looking down, calm as you please once again.

Little red crumpled at his feet like a discarded sweater. Apparently all she had was mental energy and sass. He valiantly pushed down the amusement that wanted to surface. Not even Hidan was stupid enough to backtalk Pein, to his face or otherwise. Kisame didn't believe the man was a god, but hell if he wasn't close.

"Itachi, ensure that she won't die." With that, Pein pivoted and walked straight back out, probably to worry at Konan's bedside.

He was actually a little curious about that. "What the hell did you do, red?" Kisame bent his knees and reached out to pull her up like a cloth doll so he could see her face. Amused, he grabbed her chin with a thumb and forefinger to stop her head from lolling on her neck. The faint scent of blood clued in him that she'd bitten her tongue when Pein had dropped her.

If the few minutes he'd known her were any indication, that was probably the first time she'd had the sense to bite her tongue.

"I didn't do anything," she slurred. It was a bad lie made worse by the lopsided little smile that accompanied it. "Sometimes old people just have their hips go out. Could happen to anyone."

Kisame tossed his head back and laughed, slapping Itachi's back companionably as he stood. "Have fun with this one, Itachi." The Uchiha gave him one of those impassive looks that all but screamed he was displeased, but he didn't even try to reprimand him.

* * *

' _Well, I could be in deep shit,'_ Aiko thought philosophically. She knew that, but it didn't seem quite real. The situation was so absurd that it just couldn't register. ' _I think when I get home, I'll write up my own ransom note in advance to cut out the middleman and just pin it to my shirt so that we all know where we stand the next some Akatsuki hits me over the head with a brick. Where did Konan get a brick?'_

Her situation was probably slightly worse than being kidnapped by a boy band, but only slightly. What were they going to do, kill her? If Pein had placed no value at all on her life, he would have done so then. He needed or wanted her for something, and if it had just been for information about Konan's injuries he would have been more persistent.

' _There's a big gap between 'they aren't going to immediately kill me' and I am safe to go skipping through bunny forest,_ ' she tried to remind herself. But for some reason, she just couldn't seem to stop and focus on the worst that could happen. She felt… flighty and distracted.

Which was dumb, because if anything, her aching head and the oozing scratches and gouges all over her hands and arms should be grounding her to the real world.

Oddly, it was only after Kisame left that the ominous 'ba-dum' of Jaws music began thudding in her ribcage. She didn't want to be alone with Itachi.

"I don't want to be alone with you."

Aiko blinked, mildly surprised and covered her mouth with a palm. That wasn't supposed to come out. She licked compulsively at the blood in her mouth. It wouldn't help, but she was so very thirsty.

Uchiha Itachi seemed to be pitying himself. Both of him were. But he left the room wordlessly, and for a moment she thought she had won that battle of wits. She celebrated by gingerly lowering herself to the floor and closing her eyes.

"Noooo," she grunted, trying to bat away the creepiest boy band member when he told her to sit up. Itachi seemed to give absolutely zero fucks, however. He demonstrated that irritating lack of regard by briskly propping her up and placing a cup of something hot in her hands.

"Drink."

"Is it the blood of my enemies?" she asked tiredly, hoping that would put him off. Also, slightly hoping that he hadn't really given her a cup of hot blood, because now she was committed to drinking it.

(Outside of her line of sight, Itachi cringed. That was truly abhorrent).

Suspiciously, she cracked one eye open. Green tea?

"You must hydrate, so that you can stand long enough to clean yourself. I refuse to wash you, yet your wounds are filthy. If you do not wish to die, drink."

That was blunt. But it did make sense.

"I don't want you to wash me either," she admitted honestly, stiffening her elbows at her side and tipping the mug up to her mouth obediently. Dehydration bad, makes blood worse. No. She frowned. Makes blood loss worse.

Yes. Aiko smiled faintly, breathing in the fumes from an exceptionally good cup of tea. For all that he scared the absolute fucking crap out of her; Itachi probably wasn't going to poison her. Akatsuki had probably already done that, and judging by the stiffness in her limbs and the ugly yellow crusting on the wounds she could see on her arms, they hadn't treated her first.

That had been her first hint that her survival was hanging on a thin thread. They had captured her and brought her to some kind of headquarters, but they hadn't busted their asses to get her medical attention in the course of at least a day. They would have made more of an effort if it had been decided that her life was actually important, rather than just possibly convenient at some point in the future.

Another girl might have hunkered down and tried not to piss them off. But that was rabbit talk. With no idea as to what would please them, she wouldn't lower herself to pretending to cower. If there was an obvious, immediate benefit, then _hell yes_ , pride at cost of life and limb was for dead suckers. But otherwise? No. She hadn't been killed in her sleep, so unless Deidara's zombie corpse leapt out from behind the curtains to get revenge she would take her chances with Akatsuki's dubious hospitality.

' _Still, threatening Pein was risky.'_

Despite her attempt to scold herself, she felt a stupid smile creep across her face. Damn, she was having an oddly difficult time restraining her emotions. It had been a mitigated risk, as well as a thrill. She had set the groundwork to convince Pein that she couldn't be killed. Not if he valued Konan, anyways.

It was even a partial truth. She wouldn't risk trying to transport herself in this state. Aiko liked her own skin, thank you very much. She had failed to reach a destination in a much better condition in this, and she was on the heady sort of state where she could lose consciousness at any moment. Oddly enough, she might be safer here than in the wilderness while passed out.

But that self-interest hardly extended to Konan, and she honestly didn't see a way that she could fuck up blowing the woman's head off. Cutting off her connection to the seal would be easier than moving herself to another seal.

If she were to move to another seal, though, she had two very interesting candidates. One of them about a mile away seemed to be Nii Yugito's. The one nearby was probably Fuu's, by virtue of elimination. She couldn't think of who else Akatsuki would have kidnapped that she had tagged so recently that she hadn't learned their chakra signature.

That meant that she had at least two nuisances to take care of before she made her own grand escape. Leaving them here would be shooting herself in the foot and enabling Akatsuki. Plus, she'd already marked them and they were now hers. Akatsuki could get their own damn jinchuuriki if they could beat her to them or pry them out of her cold dead hands. And, you know, stop her from stealing them, as she completely intended to do.

Aiko stifled a snort, rolling her head into the space between her arms with the cup held aloft.

' _Eh. Later. I won't be any better off dragging someone else off with me on my adventure to the wilderness than I would be alone if I can't trust them, and that's assuming I don't end up leaving someone's leg behind. Yugito-chan might take the chance to smother me, assuming she's in any better condition than I am.'_

And that seemed spectacularly unlikely, seeing as Akatsuki was probably planning to murder her and Fuu by ripping the concentration of demonic energy inextricably intertwined with their own life forces out.

Really, there was absolutely no way that she could leave this situation without those two jinchuuriki, with at least one of them alive to corroborate her story. It would be better for their bodies to be found in the same place than for her to break free and leave the other two. Konoha would be razed to the ground within a week—no one would be able to take that as anything less than an admittance of either guilt or criminal negligence, since Konoha had been the ones arguing that Akatsuki was incredibly dangerous.

A giggle surprised her, and the force of it shook her body and the hands curled around her cup. The tea inside sloshed up against the side for a moment.

Odd. That hadn't been funny at all, even by her admittedly macabre standards.

Then her tea was gone, and she found herself accepting a cold glass of water and three small pills of varying colors. She tried to give Uchiha an inquisitive glance, but got a face-full of 'I'm not taking your shit today' and Aiko meekly swallowed them. He was both bigger and badder than she was and had demonstrated a worrying carelessness in regards to stomping her in past.

Ew. Iron pills, maybe? Whatever they were, they wouldn't be chakra pills, judging by how unbearably drained she felt. Chakra levels that low had to be purposeful.

And that, she suddenly realized, was downright bizarre. Enough so to make her suspicious. They had to know that she was a Hiraishin user: Konan had seen her use it, for crying out loud. This wasn't some random sap like Sasori who had been blind-sided by her ability. If she was awake, that either meant that Akatsuki was run by incompetent lunatics or that they had something else to keep her from leaving. A trap that she didn't yet see, in other words.

Did that have anything to do with why she had been drained of chakra? Granted, that was a sensible precaution in any type of prisoner situation. It made the victim physically weak and prevented them from using jutsu or genjutsu at the risk of dipping into their own life force to do it. Aiko valued her own life enough that she wouldn't be trying to do anything that involved more chakra expenditure than the finger-spark jutsu unless they left her alone long enough for her reserves to fill up a bit.

' _I know something totally awesome that requires less chakra than the finger-spark,'_ she wheedled. Aiko could set hundreds of Hiraishin without dipping into the bulk of her reserves. Even as she was now, she could probably lay down at least a couple of explosives after her head stopped pounding.

"Are you deaf, kunoichi? I have no intention of carrying you."

Oh. So apparently he was talking to her again. Wobblingly, Aiko forced herself to her feet, feeling distinctly less like a predator than she usually did. This lack of coordination was like, Bambi learning to prance kind of bad.

She ended up using the wall as a brace while she followed Uchiha out. Well, followed wasn't exactly the right word, since he was apparently too thorough to allow her behind him even in her current state, but he didn't seem to want to walk behind her either.

"Wash the contagions from your sores as best as you are able. I will have to sterilize them afterwards regardless."

For someone who seemed to speak almost exclusively in monotone, Uchiha Itachi could do a good job of sharing his disgruntlement.

But hey, at least he was enabling her to clean up. A shower would do her some good at this point.

"Motherfucker!"

Aiko actually bit her lip, hard, and turned her face down away from the spray of water. Okay, so not so relaxing when she was covered in open cuts on her shoulders and head. Her excellent constitution was probably the only factor she had to thank for not being a fevered mess right now—whatever was wrong with her, it wasn't a fever—and it had apparently done nothing for Konan's Death-By-Paperwork jutsu. That jackass.

' _It's unhealthy, how much I'm beginning to dislike that woman,_ ' Aiko noted thoughtfully. ' _Am I just being petty because she kicked my ass?'_

That would be an unhealthy attitude to take and one that could lead her to compromise her ability to function around an opponent who had already proved to be the superior combatant. It really wasn't a good idea to let things like that bother you if you wanted to live very long.

A few moments' contemplation and self-evaluation was all she needed to vindicate her feelings. Nah, it wasn't that. Konan just really rubbed her the wrong way.

Thus satisfied, she gritted her teeth and gently scrubbed at her body until the green washcloth turned an ugly brown, almost black color that matched the foul buildup around the drain. Apparently, Itachi or whoever had stocked this bathroom didn't give one single fuck if she smelled like flowers and sunshine as was her due, so she rubbed the bland soap over her hair as best as she could and resolved to sneak back into the house in Konoha to steal some of Karin's fancy shampoo in apology to her poor hair.

"Oh shit, _Karin_ ," she realized belatedly, dropping the bar of soap with a clatter. Aiko squeezed her eyes shut and tilted her face up to catch falling water on her tongue, letting the hot water warm her insides when it trailed in.

Depending on how long it had been, Karin and Naruto might already know what had happened. Fuck, they were going to freak out about her impromptu vacation to Chez Akatsuki.

' _Probably my whole team will magically know that I really am freaking princess peach ten minutes after Tsunade gets back to Konoha, gossips that they are._ ' Aiko leaned forward and pressed her forehead against the cheap ceramic wall piteously, suddenly consumed by a bit of shame. Here she was, impassively checking through what she wanted to do before she brute-forced her way out of this hellhole (assuming that she could) without even thinking that her family and team would probably be upset. She had no idea how Sai or Sasuke would respond, to be honest, but it probably wouldn't be a shrug. Yamato and Kakashi… were they going to be disappointed with her? This was definitely a situation where they would say she was being reckless.

Would they? She frowned confusedly. They weren't unreasonable. If she explained her reasoning, they would be able to understand her situational assessment even if they didn't like it. But it wasn't like worry for a comrade was an entirely logical experience.

So, yepp. There would probably be a scolding. If she'd had Mitsuo's ears, she would have flattened them against her head.

' _Am suddenly both depressed and grateful that I do not have adorable yet overtly expressive dog ears.'_

She shut the water off and gave a disdainful look to her filthy clothes on the floor. Since Itachi had apparently become secretary of her bodily functions, he could be her maid too and clean them up.

"Is he expecting me to put those back on?" Aiko pursed her lips, and toed her tanktop over her bra in a half-assed concession to dignity. Well, tough shit for him. The towels in this joint were apparently sized for Kisame's scaly ass, so she felt perfectly comfortable winding one around her body and stepping out into the hall.

It seemed that Itachi had gotten bored with waiting for her to finish showering. What a crap maid. With a shrug, she picked a direction and started exploring. He would find her eventually.

But the man she found in the kitchen wasn't Itachi, Kisame, or even Pein. His back was to her, but she saw short, dark hair and one of the emblematic cloaks, so she felt free to assume this was one of her captors.

"Yo," Aiko greeted. "Your maid is pretty bad, could I trouble you for help? Am like, super naked over here."

"Tobi would love to help! He is a good boy." The man, comparable in height to Itachi or Kakashi, turned around with a smile in his childishly high voice and an orange mask on his face.

' _Oh dear. That's not good.'_

* * *

Things That Are Not Plot-Holes

They just haven't been totally addressed yet, for various reasons. So please don't tell me I'm an idiot for forgetting A, B, or C.

What exactly Aiko intends to say as leverage against Pein and why it would help her stay alive, as what she establishes earlier in the chapter actually sounds like a damn good reason for him to kill her.

Why Kisame doesn't recognize Aiko—actually, I can answer that now. He saw her for about a minute years ago before she went through most of puberty, and she is now filthy and largely covered in blood and mud. Not going to look like the same person at a glance. Also, he just doesn't care that much. He's got his own life going on.

What is wrong with Konan that is resisting her normal regeneration.

What Itachi thinks about Aiko being there

Why Aiko is acting so goddamn weird

That's all, yo.

We cool? I bet we cool. The only other thing I wonder about is why Konan thinks Aiko's pants are aflame in regards to Hiraishin, but I think I explained that in-text. If it didn't make sense... Well, maybe it'll help to rephrase outside her perspective. The Hiraishin is literally defined as a method of using a sealing formula to travel to the location that the seal is placed. That definition is probably why a really creative guy like Minato didn't take it in the same direction Aiko did: they were thinking about what the Hiraishin actually is in fundamentally different ways. He was looking for effective ways to employ a technique that fit that definition, and Aiko had pipe dreams about how to make magical teleportation work with less effort (pathetically lazy, but true) before she really understood the way Hiraishin was actually defined and thought about. No one is more or less intelligent or innovative with it : the second Hokage invented it, Minato made it a weapon instead of a tool for travel, and Aiko built on both those ideas.

Here's the thing, though. Konan would have lived through the time that Minato's technique was a real danger and internationally reviled. That's the sort of thing that you would hear about and maybe look into. She would have heard it defined as Minato thought about and used it. From her perspective, it's actually more logical to conclude that Konoha is attempting to scare the absolute crap out of everyone else to look intimidating by talking up something that looks similar when used properly but is less dangerous.

Really, from the way that Aiko has been using Hiraishin, it's actually a bit naïve for people to **conclude with reasonable certainty** that it is what is going on. Yugito's team, sure. They experienced the real deal over large distances where she could have plausibly prepared seals (with one possible exception). Gaara? He and Mei have some reason to be a believer as well. But for others, it's actually insanely irresponsible not to look for a trick in something like that and accept what could be fear-based exaggeration or propaganda. She could just be really fast.

Man, I really dislike doing these kinds of in-text explanations and answers to reviews. I probably won't be doing this again, unless it really helps a lot of people.


	88. Little Red and the Big Blue

"Kakashi-senpai!"

He lazily glanced at his pink-cheeked kohai without halting in his push-ups. A safe fifteen feet away, Gai was enthusiastically doing his own workout, counting at the top of his lungs while his creepy bug-eyed devotee shouted encouragement and danced around.

Unusual. Tenzou usually had the sense not to wander too close to Gai. Not after the unfortunate incident when Gai had corralled him into whatever challenge had been going on at the time. Something involving counting grains of rice, if his perfect memory served him correctly.

Tenzou nervously glanced between his two superiors, before seeming to clench his jaw. "Senpai, Hokage-sama came back today."

"Thank you, messenger pidgeon," he allowed graciously, raising a sardonic eyebrow before turning his face back down to the ground, concentrating on his repetitions. He had let Gai win tic-tac-toe last time, so he had to win this challenge or face insufferable gloating about being two points ahead in their never-ending game.

Gai gave an enthusiastic roar from his belly, clapping his hands between reps and pounding his palms into the ground when he landed with enough force to send little cracks spidering through the dry earth. His kohai seemed more uneasy than the commonplace sight merited.

"Aiko didn't come back with her."

By the time the grin had faded from Gai's face in a sort of wary realization that now was not the time to taunt his rival about imminent defeat, Kakashi was already bounding through the upper branches in a path that cut rudely through two more training grounds on the way to the central administration building.

Tenzou caught up to him a few seconds later, clearly having been blind-sided by his sudden motion. "Don't- I mean, I don't really _know_ that anything is wrong," he huffed, giving Kakashi a wide-eyed glance that perhaps hinted his expression was less than pleasant. "I just heard from Kotetsu when he got off his shift." He swallowed dryly, falling a half-step behind his commander. "Maybe she stayed late for some reason, or went to Suna with their ambassador. She spends a fair bit of time there."

The awkward reassurances didn't make him feel any better. The look on Tsunade's face when she saw him pick open the lock on her office window and step in made him feel considerably worse.

"It's like you have this seventh sense for when your underlings are in trouble," she remarked tiredly, dropping her gaze to her hands. "I was about to send for you."

The sound of Tenzou's sandals scuffling behind him was the first thing he noticed that indicated the boy had actually followed him in. Kakashi was holding his breath, tempted between pushing the Hokage for an explanation and not wanting to hear what she had to say.

"Akatsuki," she said finally, giving him a pitying look, wrinkles phasing through her genjutsu into visibility. "They sent at least one agent into the conference, supposedly from Ame. Aiko was… Aiko interfered when this woman assaulted Sabaku no Temari, and is currently missing in action. Along with the two jinchuuriki who were in the area." Her listless tone somehow made the news worse.

His jaw was locked shut.

"Missing in action?" Tenzou repeated quietly. His face was pale, but Kakashi didn't see. He was still staring at the wall behind Tsunade's head, struck stone still by horror.

"I'm sorry." Tsunade leaned over and painstakingly removed a worn envelope from her knapsack, which Yamato only now realized was still sitting on the floor by her desk. "Here." She stood to press it into Kakashi's hands, and seemed to waver on the thought of hugging him for comfort. He took it absently without looking at what he had.

She looked away and sat back down without offering any comfort. Probably for the best. He wouldn't know how to react to it. "For what it's worth, I don't think that they would necessarily want her dead. She's valuable. Akatsuki might want to barter her for Naruto. Of course, we can't…" Tsunade swallowed hard and averted her eyes, before quietly adding, "and she's a tricky little thing. Maybe she can get away."

"If she could, she would have," Kakashi muttered brokenly, hands limp at his sides. "but she's not dead."

The Hokage seemed surprised by his optimism, but nodded. "We have to hope so. I won't declare her dead until I abso-"

"No, I mean that she literally can't be dead," he interrupted testily, giving the floor a resentful glare. "See?"

Yamato and Tsunade exchanged a look that implied he'd lost his damn mind.

"Senpai, that's a kunai," the younger man ventured cautiously when Kakashi gave it an impatient shake with the hand that wasn't absently clutching the sealed envelope.

"The sealing formula is still on it," he bit out sullenly, slipping the weapon away. "Hiraishin is sustained through constant connection with the creator. It would have failed if she were dead." After Minato had died, he had thought it was merely a nightmare for months and would only accept the truth when he felt the now ordinary kunai that he'd carried since he was twelve. He would never forget how it felt to hold a dead, empty piece of metal that had once been a source of comfort and strength.

The other two looked relieved for a second, before Tsunade had a thought that made her queasy.

"Does that mean my desk is going to explode one day?" She prodded it experimentally with a forefinger.

He didn't have time to answer before Tenzou interrupted with a suspiciously high-pitched, "Aiko-chan gave me an explosive without telling me about it?"

"Probably," Kakashi admitted honestly. "That sounds like something she would do. But no, they won't go off accidentally. The explosion is an intentional addition to the formula that she can activate at will. She wouldn't be so reckless as to give a half-dozen people seals that would explode if she died. Aiko isn't that irresponsible or short-sighted." He gave a slow exhalation, closing his visible eye and letting his head sag.

"But that's great news," Tenzou tried placatingly, giving him a faint smile. "We know she's okay."

"Of course she's not okay," he scoffed, gritting his teeth painfully for a moment before he continued. "If she were, she would just return."

"She could be lingering in order to try to assist the other hostages," Tsunade mused, looking as though his hypothesis was the best news she'd had all week. "Aiko would know that Iwa and Kumo are looking right at us. If she came back without them…" She grimaced. "That reminds me. I have a mission for you two of the highest level of sensitivity. The Raikage had already sent his proposed meeting time for exchanging the prisoner when I got back, and I don't want to exacerbate things by being late. The jackass scheduled it with such short notice that I will need you two to leave within an hour or so to make it on time. He probably didn't want us setting up an ambush," she mused sourly.

"Noted," Yamato mumbled, rubbing at the back of his neck. "But, about Aiko… What are you going to tell everyone else?"

Tsunade gave Yamato a helpless shrug, overlooking the man sulking between them. "The truth. What else can I say? I considered keeping this from Naruto when I realized just how hard it was going to be to keep him from doing exactly what Akatsuki wants, but it would be too cruel. Besides, I can't keep this quiet. Especially if it really is going to lead to war." She cringed, curling into herself and wrapping her arms around her chest, rubbing her sides as if she felt a chill.

"When exactly did this happen?"

At the sharp tone, Tsunade jerked to attention and directed all her attention to Kakashi, who suddenly looked intense and dangerous instead of like he was about to crumple over. "Ah—in the early hours three days ago," she clipped out, concentrating to remember more detailed information. "I last saw her at perhaps three in the morning."

"That's a long time for her to be incapacitated," Yamato noted uneasily. The worry on his face wasn't hard to decipher. She couldn't possibly sleep that long—they must have either poisoned her or all-but killed her to keep her immobilized for days on end.

He didn't even want to think about what awful things she might be enduring.

* * *

A day prior

"And then Kakuzu-sempai said that Hidan-san was a nuisance, so Tobi thought that Hidan-san might be sad and Tobi went to ask him if he needed to talk about his feelings, because that always helps Tobi!" There was a mournful silence, and then Madara Uchiha added with a quiver in his artificially high voice, "Hidan-san was embarrassed and he told Tobi that he didn't need to talk about his feelings. He didn't even want a hug! Wasn't that silly of him, Aiko-chan?" As he talked, he flung open a door and trotted in, leaving her to trail behind. He was very unlike the uber professional Itachi, she noted.

Before meeting this man in person, Aiko hadn't been certain if he was Obito driven mad by pain and grief, if he was Obito possessed by Madara but still somewhat present, or if Madara was merely wearing Obito's body like a fashionable coat. Now, she couldn't be anything but certain that there was nothing of Obito here, because no one who was anything less than _pure, unadulterated evil_ could come up with a deception and persona as offensively irritating as this one. This act had been the product of decades of learning how to be an irritating jackass. Obito simply wouldn't have had the time to become this deranged.

"It was terribly silly," Aiko agreed solemnly, giving him a shy smile. "I bet he was just too bashful to accept it."

Evil lunatic or not, she valued her skin. Oddly enough, she might be safer with Madara than Itachi or Kisame. Itachi had reasons to kill her to protect Konoha, and Kisame or another Akatsuki might kill her if they thought it worth Pein's anger. Sure, she didn't have the thin protection of Pein's desire to keep her alive in regards to Madara, being as he was the real boss here. But he was also a person who planned, like, twenty years ahead. Sure, his plans were stupid, (form criminal organization, fuck around with Konoha, and then somehow rule the world?) but that was beside the point. The only reasons he would kill her would be if she was in the way of his plan (which she couldn't help) or if she ticked him off to the point where he didn't care about interfering with the efficiency of his puppet organization doing what he wanted it to do.

So instead of taunting him, she was pretending to be charmed by Tobi, since option # 1 (otherwise known as 'run away screaming bloody murder') was difficult when in a towel and half-dead from hunger and chakra exhaustion.

"Would you like a hug?" He leaned in far too close, as if trying to put her off balance or trick her into displaying unease. But Aiko was a goddamn champion of hiding distress behind a cutesy girl act, and she didn't so much as flinch. "You seem sad," Madara finished gravely.

_'_ _Sure, you crazy bastard.'_

"I am a little sad," she admitted, gently shutting the drawer of no longer needed clothes that Deidara had left behind, clutching a black shirt with mesh shoulders to her chest. "I think you're right, I could use a hug."

He squealed and threw his arms around her shoulders—then just as easily flinched away dramatically and backed up all the way to the other wall. "Eek! Aiko-chan, you haven't put on clothes yet!" he wailed.

_'_ _No shit, Sherlock.'_

"J-just turn around!" She squeaked out. It was lucky that he did, because she was unable to fake a blush. It _was_ somewhat of a relief to drop her towel and pull the shirt over her head, even though it felt really fucking weird to wear a dead man's clothing and the mesh fell in a way that Anko would have approved of. Beggars couldn't be choosers. Deidara had been on the petite side for a man, but she was petite for a woman, so the shirt's hem was just barely long enough to be decent if she stayed perfectly still and there was no breeze.

That didn't seem like a likely combination of circumstances, so she pulled open the next drawer in hopes of finding pants, without noticing that the Uchiha turned around at the noise. It was just full of hair products, so she knelt to open the bottom one. That was successful. Aiko pulled them on post-haste, not caring that they were the worst fitting thing she'd ever worn. She could adjust the fit and make do. "I'm decent, Tobi-san," she called out, before turning around herself.

She had to blink at just how close he was. Aiko hadn't heard him move at all. To cover her surprise, she bit her lip before asking, "Is there a belt around or anything?" To demonstrate, she lifted her arms straight up so he could see how ill-fitting the slacks were.

"Ahh, you're so cuuuute, Aiko-chan," he squealed, lurching forward to pick her up around the waist and shake her around. She put a steadying hand on his shoulder and tried not to vomit.

"Tobi-san, I don't feel well," she choked out, meaning it.

Apparently he didn't want bile down his back, because he immediately stopped and put her on the ground gently. "Tobi doesn't think that any belts here would fit you." She had the odd sense that his lower lip was wobbling when he tilted his head down. It almost immediately popped back up, though, and he bounded off to the closet. "But Tobi is certain that he could make a new hole to make a belt smaller!"

_'_ _You're a genius alright,_ ' she thought cynically. ' _I have now known you for almost five minutes, and I know that I do not want you to be anywhere near me.'_

"I would like that." Politely, she did not move towards the closet. Shinobi tended to get crabby when someone moved to box them into a confined space. The garment he emerged with was a very thin black belt. He painstakingly gouged out another hole with the tip of a kunai and then handed it over with a triumphant flourish.

_'_ _I might be safer with him, but this is nerve-wracking. Maybe I just should have stayed put in the first place.'_

* * *

Itachi briefly pushed down the urge to give up on his elective situational pacifism when he came back after having begged a change of clothes off of Konan to find that his charge had apparently wandered off in the three minutes he had been absent.

_'_ _This child is an idiot of impressive proportions,'_ he noted tiredly, following the little wet footprints down the hall. They led to the kitchen—but faded before they led him back to the girl who'd left them. He didn't need them, however. A girlish voice was barely audible through the closed door to what had been Deidara's room once upon a time. Unease flickered in his consciousness. Either she was talking to herself, or she had run into someone else in the base.

He couldn't think of a single person in his area who could be trusted to behave around a captive from Konoha. Especially one who had potentially damaging information.

Perhaps he should have killed her when they had been alone earlier to prevent her knowledge from falling into Akatsuki's hands. He was loathe to end her without an immediate sense of danger, however. If all was truly well in the world, Itachi would never have to harm another sentient being in his life.

With a small amount of expertly hidden trepidation, he pushed the door open.

Immediately, he wished he hadn't. His patient was wearing some of Deidara's old clothes and sitting cross-legged on the duvet next to the man who called himself Tobi. They both looked up at him, but he had no illusions that the expression hidden behind that mask was the innocent curiosity on the girl's face. Madara was almost certainly getting no small amount of enjoyment out of this play-act. Had he accompanied the girl to thwart Itachi? As a silent threat? Or just because he got some strange amusement out of letting her think him a fool?

"You're just in time, Itachi-senpai!" his elder chirped in a tone that sounded demented to his ears. The placid enjoyment on the girl's face implied that it was his additional knowledge that gave him that sense. Then again, the amount of uncharacteristic trust and positivity on her expression was downright suspicious. Surely she wasn't so stupid as to genuinely be charmed by someone met in a den of S class criminals? Perhaps it was an attempt to ingratiate herself with someone who might help her escape—Tobi did portray himself as the most approachable.

_'_ _Then again, it is possible that she has recognized Tobi as someone to be wary of and does not wish to risk angering him.'_

It seemed implausible from the manner in which she had provoked Pein that she would choose to kowtow to Tobi unless she seriously believed she was in _imminent_ danger from him.

If that was the case, she had excellent instincts or her frightening visions of possible futures had let her on to Madara's secret identity.

The teenager tilted her head and smiled at him. "We're playing Go-Fish!"

Yes, that was downright uncannily out of character. The girl was acting. At least she was good at it: she seemed genuinely pleased to find herself playing child's games with a madman.

"I am afraid that I must borrow your companion." He let his expression linger deliberately on the prisoner. "Pein-sama has requested that I provide her with medical attention."

"Awww, Itachi-san! Can we play more later?"

Message received. Madara did indeed suspect he would try to keep the Uzumaki girl away from him, and he couldn't disobey now.

"Of course," he agreed tonelessly. There was no other option. "I prepared the medical supplies in the room where you were awoken. Come."

"No need for that!" Madara interrupted in that vexingly high pitched tone he favored, swiveling his orange mask to stare directly at his female companion. "Deidara-senpai kept some in here! I can get them for you." The quickly retrieved kit was rather disproportionally stocked with burn treatments, but it did have the antiseptic and bandages that would suit his purposes.

He kept the displeasure this solution aroused off his face. "Very well," Itachi agreed as if he did not care one way or the other. "However, it was unwise for you to dress her before her wounds had been treated. Deidara's shirt will have to be removed." At the reflexive grimace that provoked, he found the opportunity to add, "Perhaps it would be less intimidating for your companion if you were to give her as much privacy as possible."

"Whatever you say, Itachi-senpai!" Tobi bounced off the bed and out the door, a hint of menace in his almost manic movements that came just an iota too close to Itachi himself.

"I would suggest wrapping the towel around your torso to give me access to your wounds," he directed, strangely _less_ comfortable now that he was alone with the otherworldly girl who knew far too much. Especially since he had just essentially ordered her to take her clothes off. He might have offered to wait in the hall while she changed, but it had already been proven that she would wander off given thirty seconds unobserved and immediately locate the most dangerous human being on the continent, so it seemed to be an ill-advised course of action.

Instead, he politely averted his eyes and tried to forget that there was a half-naked woman in the room until she rather testily informed him that she was finished.

"Do you have any wounds that are not readily apparent?" The set of her shoulders was stiff as he went about painstakingly sanitizing every little slice into her skin. It looked as though Konan had rained down attacks from above—the top of her head and shoulders had by far the worst of it, although she was permanently missing a small slice out of her left ear.

"I think I might have a concussion," she offered grudgingly, clearly trying not to look at him.

Itachi attempted not to dwell on the fact that she could hide her discomfort around the most dangerous man in the world but trembled at his touch. He instead concentrated to summon the little tinge of medical chakra into his right palm and gently passed it over her scalp, combing through the drying hair carefully and avoiding sealing up any cuts he had yet to sanitize. There was a technique that provided merely diagnostic feedback, but he had yet to acquire it, so he had to make do.

What he found was beyond his abilities. "You are technically correct in that you have a concussion, but it is not so simple. You are experiencing a brain hemorrhage and the swelling will soon become severe." His pronouncement was dispassionate, but he was already off in thought, discarding possible solutions. He could only conclude, "We have no medic who can treat this."

"You don't, huh." Her voice was oddly toneless. "Am I correct in thinking that a lack of treatment may result in permanent loss of brain function?"

"Probable," he agreed, a little perplexed that she was taking this so calmly. "Although stroke or death are also possible."

"I see." She clipped the words together. That seemed to be all she had to say, so he quietly went back to his work, extracting bits of dirt she had missed on her back especially and sanitizing everything before he went back and took the opportunity to practice his mastery of the mystical palm technique, prioritizing the deeper gouges in her hands and wrists that may restrict her movements.

Should he offer to help her escape? She already knew that he was a double agent. The words stuck in his throat when he tried to summon them, however. It was far too dangerous to say such a thing in this place, and he did not see how he could possibly return her to Konoha without implicating himself. As abhorrent as it was to cause harm to another person even through inaction, his mission was far more valuable than her life and safety to Konoha as a whole. Akatsuki was going to perform their second extraction tomorrow and add the two-tailed beast to the statue with the eight-tailed beast when the other members returned to the base. He would have to be present for this event, and the girl would either be locked up or unconscious for the duration to reduce possible complications.

…Probably both, given her obvious propensity for troublemaking.

Then again, if she knew anything at all about the sealing procedure, she would know that no one would be available to watch her. The Uzumaki child was not without intelligence. It was both her best chance and completely hopeless.

Perhaps she had something up her sleeve. At least he could offer a little information and see if she could help herself. "Do not expect further assistance. I will not be available to re-treat your wounds tomorrow. I will be recovering my full chakra capacity in anticipation of the day's events."

The evaluating way she gazed up at him was reassurance enough that she could read between the lines to what he was actually conveying, so it was acceptable that she gave no reply.

"I knew you two would have fun together," Kisame observed from the door. Itachi did not bother to reply, letting his hands fall back to his side and turning to face the taller man. She could keep the patchwork map of scratches. They were not life-threatening, and not worth the effort of healing.

His blank expression seemed to fuel Kisame's amusement. "I don't know what I'm interrupting, but apparently I'm the babysitter, red." He bared his teeth at the Uzumaki girl, but didn't let his gaze leave Itachi. "So you can relax for a while, Itachi."

He gave a small nod. That was acceptable. If the girl was to attempt to escape, he did not want to be forced to thwart it or risk being suspected of complicity. It was best to be as far away as possible. "Of course."

* * *

_'_ _Well, hell. That's not good at all.'_ Her hands were trembling, so she pressed them into her lap and tried to ignore the S-class missing nin eying her like she was a particularly interesting insect. She didn't have the energy to care about Kisame right now, or even to be relieved that Itachi had finally left her alone.

Aiko had just received rather bad news, after all.

Her mind was the one weapon she could not do without. She had already judged that it was far too hazardous to risk using Hiraishin in this state with the easy assumption that a few days' time at the absolute most would rectify the situation. Then she could rattle off an insult to whatever Akatsuki was lurking about and go home a hero with two jinchuuriki in tow.

_'_ _Or I might only have their bodies, and then I'd have to make sure we all permanently disappear,_ ' the creep of doubt that she'd been ignoring piped up insidiously. Before now she had been able to ignore it, but it seemed much more real and probable now that she had both a tight deadline imposed by the rapidly approaching time when the Akatsuki would gather to extract one of the bijuu complicated by her body's pathetic weakness.

But she didn't want to die. Not for stupid fucking Konoha.

That left only one recourse, then. She had to try to escape. The plan was hardly complicated: her only chance was to hope like hell that she could still use Hiraishin, steal the jinchuuriki, and leave.

"Hey, red." An enormous foot nudged her ribs none too gently, drawing her attention up to the man in the room with her. "I don't appreciate being ignored."

"Sorry, blue," she replied automatically, blinking up at the toothy behemoth hovering over her. He just grunted, and then thoroughly creeped her out by leaning in and sniffing her hair. Aiko froze.

His breath was hot on the back of her neck when he grunted, "You stink like Itachi's cheap soap."

She tried not to let her mind dwell on the fact that the Uchiha bastard apparently didn't even use shampoo and his hair was a hundred times nicer than hers. That big dumb butt. Unknowingly, she pouted, puffing out her cheeks irritably.

"Well, I'm supposed to do this every hour or so, and I'm already behind," Kisame sighed, soft rustling sounds behind her clueing Aiko in that he was doing something.

"Do what?" she asked a little suspiciously, swiveling just enough to see that the very tip of his sword was unwrapped before he rested it on her shoulder. The weight nearly bowled her over, but it was the sensation of tiny needles in her flesh that made her mindlessly jerk to push the weapon away.

He caught her wrist, and it seemed pitifully small in his gigantic paw. "I wouldn't touch her if I were you," Kisame cautioned in a rumble with a strange undertone she couldn't quite identify. "She only likes me enough to tolerate touching. You might lose a hand or more."

That sounded like a massive bummer, so Aiko just tried to shrink away from the blade bulging obscenely against her flesh. It followed her movements. Finally, she gave up. "Why are you using me as a shelf?" Aiko managed to force out, feeling so much worse than she had a moment ago, even discounting the blood trickling down the flesh Itachi had just healed.

"Pein-sama seems to think you're dangerous," he informed her lightly, pulling the blade away nonchalantly while she tried to catch her breath, gripping her stomach with both arms. "I happen to be an expert at draining a person's chakra to exactly what they need and leave them none for daring escape plans."

"Ah," Aiko huffed out, vision flickering slightly. "The joke is on you, then. My daring escape plan requires no chakra at all. I'm going to impersonate you and walk right out of here."

He threw his head back and laughed. Then he scooped her up like she was a kitten and cradled her with a single arm, striding out of Deidara's room with two long steps and back up a vaguely familiar hallway. "How do you intend to do that, red?"

"I was going to beat you up with just taijutsu, switch our clothes and then tell Itachi I'm going out for ice cream," she mumbled, feeling her head sag against his chest despite her best efforts.

"Well, you'll need some fuel for that," Kisame informed her mock-seriously, kicking out a wooden chair and settling her into it with surprising gentleness from such a large, scary-looking person. "I'm afraid that protein would help you re-build your chakra levels, so you'll have to settle for rice porridge. It's the only other thing I can cook."

She might have fallen asleep, but Aiko vaguely remembered noting that he put an ungodly amount of honey into the steaming bowl he set in front of her.

"Hey, can you walk, red? I don't want to stand around while you eat."

Aiko gave it a valiant attempt, but ended up nearly sliding under the table when her attempt to push her chair back failed.

"I will take that as a no." She blinked, and then she was picked up just the same as before, dazedly blinking at the bowl in his massive fingers while he walked outside. Aiko found herself propped up against the building with the hot bowl on her legs. He ruffled her hair fondly before straightening to his full height. "I have energy to burn, so you're going to watch me train. I agreed to keep you out of trouble, not play nursemaid."

Her tongue felt heavy and dry in her mouth, but he hadn't thought to bring her a drink. Aiko dubiously glanced down at the food she'd been allotted. She felt so weak and queasy that eating sounded like the last thing she wanted to do, but it could only help improve her condition. There was absolutely no chance that she could escape in this condition, and she had no idea how long it had been since she had eaten. Her physical state would only get worse the longer she went without caloric intake.

She nearly gagged at the heat and sweetness, but forced it all down. Oddly, she felt incrementally better within minutes: good enough to pay some attention to what Kisame was doing. It was actually rather interesting, from a professional standpoint. He was sparring with four water clones on a shallow lake of his own creation, dodging what had to be at least B level techniques from all of them that did things like boil the water, attempt to drag him down, or hit him with anything from man-sized sharks made of water to concussive bullets like what she used.

"You know, you're the first really strong water-type I've met," Aiko mused aloud. The statement hadn't been intended to flatter, but he looked proud nonetheless.

"You haven't seen nothing yet, itty bitty. I'll do this jutsu with just the chakra I got from you."

_'_ _I really wish I could focus enough to remember those handsigns_ ,' she thought blearily. At this point, she wouldn't even certain that she was seeing them all. Thoughts of memorizing them so she could steal his toy were completely lost when she realized that he was forming a gigantic tank of water in the air that towered over the entire building she was pressed up against, sides as flat as if there was glass to keep them in despite the fact that she could see the liquid was raging in a vicious current. Whoa. He was standing on the top of the rapidly rising water, and tossed her one last look that implied he never got tired of showing off before he grinned and started working on another series of handsigns.

"This area is all under my control," he informed in a half-shout, rolling his shoulders menacingly. "It's impossible to escape, but right now, anyone who can walk on water would be fine. I could trap them in a water prison while their movement is constricted, but that gets old. This is how I drag my victims to the bottom, or tear them apart."

The water lurched and—were those _twenty foot sharks_ circling in the water to create a whirlpool? They definitely were, and there were too many moving too quickly for her to count. Just trying to follow their movement gave her a headache.

Her priorities quickly changed when the 'sides' of the tank suddenly disappeared, and several thousand tons of water came rushing at her with a swarming mass of angry looking sharks on the top. She had just enough time to think, 'oh shit' before Kisame scooped her up with a laugh and landed easily on top of the building, grinning at he looked over the swamp that he had just formed.

"Don't worry, I'll keep you safe. Poor itty bitty." A massive hand tweaked her nose, and he laughed again when her eyes crossed.

"Where is the water going?" she changed the subject, embarrassed that she'd frozen. It was disappearing with an almost shocking haste, and there had been an enormous amount of it- easily six times what she could make.

_'_ _Did he really use just my chakra? He must be so much more efficient with it than I am.'_ Contemplatively, she glanced down at the enormous trunk of an arm that was supporting her. He just didn't look like a guy who cared to use finesse.

"Pein-sama installed a drain system," Kisame admitted carelessly, jumping back down on top of the draining liquid and heading towards the other side of the building he had just abused. "My jutsu practice supplies the water for the base."

Aiko blanched. It was a pretty big building, and he was just one man.

_'_ _These are the types of people I'm dealing with_ ,' she remembered with a sinking feeling. _'_ _I can't fight on a level ground against any of them.'_

It was dreary and rather dark out, but it was difficult to gauge the time because it sort of looked like the sky was always that way in Ame. She was pretty sure she was in Ame. The rest of the night wasn't terribly eventful, but it must have been evening at least because Kisame only drained her chakra three more times before he set her on Deidara's bed, patted her head like she was a kitten, and then locked her in for the night.

_'_ _I really might die here,'_ she realized with dawning horror the first time that he came in and woke her up by draining her chakra again before shuffling away in his pajamas. That hadn't seemed real before. She always got out of sticky situations. Being slippery was like, her thing. But they really were doing a professional job: When Kisame said he was going to drain her chakra every hour, he really fucking meant it. She drifted between a haze of sleep and unconsciousness all night, and felt like absolute crap in the morning.

The thought that the jinchuuriki were probably worse off than she was… was not reassuring. They almost certainly weren't being fed because Akatsuki was going to kill at least one of them sometime that day. There would have been no point. So they were probably being kept drugged into unconsciousness to prevent any struggles. That would be what Aiko would have done. That meant that they probably would have something of a fighting chance if allowed to wake, she hoped, since they'd have their chakra.

Good and bad. If they were capable _and_ decided to work with her, that would work in her favor. If they were in better condition than she was and still wanted her dead, she would be screwed and very possibly vulnerable. That was one of the reasons that she decided she could only go to Konoha—yes, if it turned out that Fuu or Nii was still hostile, they would claim Konoha had done the original kidnapping and just tried to trick them. That was bad. But being alone in the middle of nowhere with two possible hostiles was far worse, and she desperately needed medical attention and safety. Aside from being where she felt safest, Konoha had the best hospital and medics in the known world.

"Feeding time, for Samehada first, and then you," Kisame promised cheerily, flinging her door open. Aiko winced and wished that hiding under the sheets was a valid tactical strategy.

True to his word the day before, there was none of the meat or nuts that she was craving frantically when Kisame fed her in the morning. She tried not to glare or let her head hit the table when a _goddamn salad_ was put in front of her while Kisame settled down with miso, rice, and four fish.

It was a perfectly good salad… a bizarrely good salad, if she were to be honest. Kisame apparently didn't believe in dressing, but he did believe in spinach, mandarin oranges, grapes, tomatoes, peppers, and cucumbers. She could see the logic behind the composition—a lot of iron to help her replace her lost blood, and a variety of nutrients from other sources. It still wasn't answering the insane craving in her bones for something she could turn into pure life energy.

_'_ _I am going to escape, go home, and eat half a goddamn cow,_ ' Aiko promised herself, because the alternative was to lay down and die. For now, she ate the entire salad and asked for seconds. She got more sweetened rice. What the hell was up with this man and sweetened rice?

Still, this was probably the best that she was going to feel. It had been almost an hour since Kisame had last drained her chakra. She had no idea when they were planning on performing the extractions, and they probably wouldn't be so helpful as to tell her. Really, they probably wouldn't be so obliging as to leave her conscious and unobserved while they got to work. If they had any sense at all, the first order of business would be to knock her the fuck out so she couldn't use the chakra she would be accumulating while they were too busy to pay attention to her.

So she experimentally rolled her ankles under the table and looked up at Kisame endearingly. "Thank you for breakfast, blue-san. You know, you seem out of place here. How did you end up working in chateau crazy?"

He stared. "You think I seem like the sanest person here?" he clarified gingerly. At her nod, he shook his head slowly. "Well, that's a new one. Usually the assumption is that Itachi is least likely to peel someone's face off and wear it to bed. No offence, red, but I don't feel like talking about it."

"That's fair," she admitted evenly, propping her chin up on her hands and feeling around for the two Hiraishin seals she was most concerned with at the moment. They were in the same locations she had originally noted when she first woke up. Aside from feeling tired, she was almost used to the constant splitting headache and fatigue from chakra exhaustion. She could do this. "I just thought I should ask before I enact my daring escape plan and all," she teased with a smile, scrunching up her nose. Oddly, he didn't seem to take the warning seriously at all. "You know, if you ever decide you want to make a break from these nutjobs, I will totally hide you in my apartment if you agree to teach me how to be completely and utterly terrifying with water jutsu. I've always wanted to be internationally feared." She gave a real sigh of longing.

"As appealing as the thought of being confined to a teenager's apartment is, I think I will have to pass on that one," he rejoined dryly, sticking his chopsticks in his now-empty bowl and leaning back slightly. "I'm flattered, though."

"Well, I'm sure that Tsunade-sama would let me bring you in legally if I asked, but I was hoping I wouldn't have to share," she pouted mock-regretfully. He was by far the most impressive master of water jutsu she had ever used, and given half a chance to learn from him, she would walk over broken glass to do it.

Still, there were pretty shinobi princesses to rescue, less sucky places to be, and meat to sink her teeth into. That sort of thing. Shouldn't dawdle.

Kisame snorted, looking almost fond of her. "You're a weird kid."

"And you're surprisingly cool," she countered, locking onto the signature that she thought was Fuu. It was hard to tell which of the other woman disliked her more, but at least Fuu was more frightened of her than angry with her. Hopefully, she would be willing to listen and cooperate to save her own skin. "So long, and thanks for all the fish," she added with a pointed look at the fish he had definitely not shared. He was just making a confused expression when she yanked on Fuu's chakra signature—and found herself falling to the ground, clutching at her aching head. If anyone else was there, she had no idea and she was completely at their mercy, because the pain was unbearable.

The first thing she noticed when her vision returned from 'white' and the feeling had changed to a throb instead of an electric current that consumed her being was that she was crying on her hands and knees. The second thing was that Fuu was conscious but badly beaten, and chained to a wall. She also looked somewhat alarmed.

Aiko had to purposefully wipe away latent curiosity about just awful she must look judging by Fuu's expression. "Sorry about that," she slurred. Oh. Embarrassing. Was she drooling? She wiped the side of her mouth. Well, it wasn't drool. Wasn't sure if blood is better or not, so she put the thought aside for later. "I don't know about you, but I think we should rescue ourselves. How does a jail break sound?"

"You look like shit," the other girl said bluntly, before pointedly tugging on her wrists. "And I doubt you can break these."

"No need, I'll just grab you. Um." She hesitated, feeling like throwing up, but forced it down. "Nii Yugito is the next stop, and then we blow this popsicle stand. If that happens again, can you watch my back while I recover? Am bleeding in the brain," Aiko explained, waving at the general area of her head as she lurched forward to wrap her arms around Fuu's waist. She looked like she'd been through hell, but that the aforementioned hell had happened several days ago. To a normal person, that would make little difference, but it was a different matter entirely when applied to a jinchuuriki. The cuffs were the awful kind that stopped chakra circulation, which made some sense to a distant part of her brain. But now was not the time to stop and think, and the ability to do more than one thing at once was apparently no longer something she could do.

"Of course," Fuu murmured from above her. "If you can really get me out of here."

"Hold on tight," Aiko huffed, despite that not making any sense at all since she was the one holding onto Fuu. Concentrating on taking just Fuu and not the metal touching her limbs was shockingly difficult for something she didn't usually have to think about, but she managed.

_'_ _One more to rescue. If I wasn't more concerned that Yugito might attack me on sight, I would have gotten her first and probably left Fuu for dead once I realized how hard this was going to be. She's much more politically important.'_

Didn't matter now. She tenuously gripped the Hiraishin seal that was closest- and by closest, she really did mean closest by an **enormous** margin. At least the two jinchuuriki were closer together than she had been to Fuu. Maybe this wouldn't be so terrible. She only had to make two more Hiraishin. Go to Yugito, go home. She could do it. She could do dozens within seconds at her best. This was nothing.

But the seal slipped out of her grip. That had never happened before, even when she was first learning. Frustrated, she attempted to lock in on it again—and succeeded this time.

When the ringing in her ears stopped, the first thing she knew was that she was making an awful wailing sound and it hurt her throat. Aiko stopped immediately and tried to push herself up, noting that her vision appeared to be shot. It was far worse than the double vision she had first woken up to in the Akatsuki base where even now pursuants were likely mobilizing. How long had she been disabled by that travel?

Of course, it was worse than she realized.

"I thought you were dead," Aiko croaked out at the foul-mouthed blur that Fuu appeared to be fighting. Hidan (she was pretty sure that was who it was) responded with an obnoxious laugh.

"Hey, you're that bitch who'd heard about Jashin! Did you come to convert, or just to donate your body to the cause? I might have fucked you before, but you look like total shit now. Still, Jashin accepts all forms of fucked-up ugly whores. Equal in his sight and all that shit."

"Yeah, that's him," she muttered to herself, struggling to her feet. Odd. Was the floor really moving, or was she seasick for some other reason? "Yugito?" she called out plaintively. "Are you here?"

The response was raspy, as if she was breathing through a lungful of blood. "the fuck happened to you, Uzumaki? I'm right here."

"Okay, good," she mumbled, awkwardly fisting a handful of the clothing she felt when she stumbled in the direction of the familiar voice. "You're not tied or anything, right?"

There was a brief silence from the only other person not involved in a fight. When it came, Yugito sounded a bit unnerved. "No. I was just uncuffed by this asshole."

"Cool." She stood as straight as she could in the disorienting blur of colors that had become her perception, and wrapped her trembling arm around what felt like Yugito's waist. They had to go, they had to move. Beating Hidan was pointless and would just give reinforcements time to show up. "Fuu?" she called out plaintively, hoping the older girl would know what she wanted. Aiko was almost surprised by how weak her own voice sounded.

A heartbeat later, a thin arm was around her waist. "I'm here, move!" Fuu barked out. Aiko obeyed thoughtlessly, thinking of nothing but home. She wanted the seal in her bedroom but really Tsunade's office would be a better choice, she would meet a medic there and this all could get sorted out, it was going to be okay.

But when she came back, cheek lying in what seemed to be mud and her own bile, Aiko felt raindrops on her body. " _Please_ , god, tell me we're out of Ame," she choked out, not bothering to suppress tears. Everything hurt, and the blurs of colors had turned to shades of red that were completely useless for navigating. There was a hand on her shoulder—Yugito, she thought, because that was where the older woman's voice came from.

"No, we aren't. But we can wait a moment for you to feel better and run from here."

She sobbed openly, pushing herself up to her knees and palms. Her head shook. "No, we can't," Aiko frantically explained, just wishing this nightmare would end already. "He uses rain like I do to sense. They know where we are. If we're in the rain, they're coming directly to us. We have to go. Please, god, work this time," she wailed, not even noticing that she was reverting to English. "One more. One more." Blindly, she reached out, feeling for Fuu. "I need to touch both of you so we can go again."

"Uzumaki, you're going to kill yourself!" Yugito spat out, sounding—odd, was she sounding concerned? But didn't she hate Aiko?

"I might, but if I don't, we're all dead," she wheezed. Only the sensation of heat on her cheeks let her know that tears were mixed in with the rainwater. "I think I have one more in me."

No one answered her, but arms were wrapped around her torso from both sides.

Aiko took a moment to hope that neither of them would take the opportunity to kill her. It wouldn't be hard now. Honestly, at this point, she didn't think there was any chance she could make the trip to Konoha. But she had to try.

And she pulled on the seal in Tsunade's office one more time with everything she had. Literally everything—she was unconscious before she hit the ground again somewhere new.


	89. Idiots are Trying to Rule the World

Believe it or not, I've never had any intention to write cliff-hangers. I just stop when I get bored or it seems like I've hit a good spot. At least I don't leave you dangling there particularly long.

* * *

Consciousness returned in stages. Pain was the first, but that was so familiar that it seemed like a constant state of being. The blissful feeling that she had some chakra back was the next thing Aiko knew. She wasn't awake enough to know why that was a good sign, but it was such a marked improvement from the last thing she knew that it seemed Aiko would never take it for granted again. She'd heard of chakra deprivation being used as torture before, but now it made sense.

Her vision still wasn't back. At least she had colors again, though, instead of just red. "That's a bad sign," she mumbled to herself, sitting up.

There was a curse.

"Sit down, stupid," a vaguely familiar voice snapped. A warm hand pressed her back down into the sheets. "You've been out for days. We got you a civvie doctor and she said the swelling should be going down, but…"

"We thought you were dead," another female voice said bluntly. "I'm glad you're waking up, because we aren't really that far from Ame and they're bound to be looking for us. We weren't exactly inconspicuous stumbling into town with you sobbing over Nii's shoulder."

"Yes, I hardly wish to linger here either," the lower voice confirmed dryly. "Uzumaki, are you following me?"

"I don't know what's going on," she mumbled, doing her level best to sink into the warm sheets around her body. The weight was comforting.

"Oh, shit," the first voice cursed lowly before becoming something softer and strangely maternal. "I'm Nii Yugito. Remember me? And this is Fuu, from Waterfall. You owe her a fight. Don't you fucking dare die on us now after we risked our lives to get you medical attention," the first voice warned.

Realization was unpleasant. "I remember," Aiko croaked out, reaching up to rub at her throat. "So, you say my head is better?"

"Yes and no," Fuu answered. "The swelling has gone down, but the original problem still remains. Civilian medicine doesn't have a fast solution, and we can't afford to stay here. You need to go home. Do you understand that?"

Fast solution or not, thank god that they'd gotten her a doctor. The pain in her head was much more analogous to what it had been when Itachi had first diagnosed her than what it had been even half a day later. She almost wished she'd been awake to thank the person who'd probably saved her life.

"What about you two?" Aiko sat up, letting her blankets fall down. "I mean, since you both stayed, can I assume you see the lack of sense in splitting apart right now to let them pick us off? I can take us back to Konoha. I promise you'll be safe."

"Can you really promise that?" Yugito was transparently skeptical.

"Yes," she guaranteed sincerely, turning to stare at the tannish blur that she was relatively certain was Yugito. "The Hokage is honorable enough not to capture two soldiers who came to her for assistance, and she's pragmatic enough to know that detaining you would mean war. If she tries, I'll fight her on it."

"It would mean war… If it hasn't already been declared," Yugito sighed tiredly. "The Raikage is furious, I am sure."

"Yeah," Aiko murmured, staring down at her legs. "I bet. I wish we could have just given you back C, opened up talk, and started to defuse all this crap."

There was a rather heavy silence, before Yugito pointed out with slowly dawning horror. "Uzumaki… we sent the message with the Hokage's reply as soon as we had it. The Raikage had already pre-approved a messenger to take a missive to Konoha so that his reply would be waiting when the Hokage got back. C was probably sent out days before any news from Kumo could have reached your country after this all happened. The Raikage… he's probably already declared war, but your escort team would have already left days before that news reach Konoha."

"He'll kill them," Fuu pointed out clinically. "Konoha won't know that the relationship isn't salvageable until its far too late to catch up, so it's highly unlikely that anyone would be able to stop them in time to save them. And then when it comes out that Konoha was uninvolved…"

"We'll already be committed, because Lightning will have made an unprovoked attack on a diplomatic team," Aiko summed hollowly. Well. That fucking blows. "Maybe it's not too late. Do you have any idea when that meeting was set for, where, and what day it is now?"

"Probably tomorrow," Yugito informed. "It's a long trip from Konoha to the border of Lightning. The timing was intended to force Tsunade to immediately send a team to avoid being late so that it was impossible to get there early and set up an ambush. They won't be dead yet. Konoha will know and have decided if they would rather risk sending a fast team in hopes of catching them or not, however."

Aiko paused for a long moment. "Do you guys ever feel like it's really exhausting to be a totally badass bitch all the time? I guess we should get moving. Konoha first."

"You just don't learn, do you," Fuu commented dryly, but she put a steadying hand on Aiko's shoulders nonetheless while she crawled out of bed.

"I most certainly do not," she lied briskly, crinkling her nose up at the teal-haired girl. She was a much more colorful blob than Yugito and thusly easy to identify. "Come on, you sissy. Don't tell me you're going to turn down another fabulous Hiraishin trip?"

"I could easily die happy with never experiencing that again." Someone flicked the back of her head. "But come on; that would be exponentially less likely to end with us getting snatched back up. We're barely past the border to Rain. I would be shocked if they weren't close."

"Alright, alright," Aiko sighed, blindly reaching out to grab at what she assumed was Yugito's arm. "Am I touching both of you? Yes?" She tugged.

The silence that followed was unexpected. "Ah, Tsunade-sama?" she tried, turning in a circle. There was no response from her Hokage.

"The office is empty," Yugito breathed. The sound of quick footfalls gave her the impression that she was walking to the window. "But we're definitely in Konoha," she pronounced grimly. "There's an enormous crowd around the other side of the building."

"Oh, she's making some sort of announcement," Aiko theorized vaguely. With much more effort than she'd like, she sought out Kakashi's Hiraishin, thinking she would just go to him rather than let two foreign nin guide her blindly through their administration building.

' _Well, fuck. He appears to be passing through Bear country. With Yamato, and princess C. I probably should have noticed that before.'_

That sucked big time.

"Maybe we should walk from here," Fuu said dryly, appearing to correctly interpret where Aiko's mind had gone. "It's just around the building. You use that as a crutch too often, and it's been hurting you. I don't fancy being trapped here while everyone dances around asking why our Konoha escort is unconscious and drooling on the floor."

Aiko reluctantly agreed despite her reservations. That would be a pretty awful situation to put Fuu and Yugito in after promising them safety. She let them lead her through the winding tower, planning to come up behind Tsunade on the balcony to check what was going on.

What she heard was not encouraging.

"Konoha can pull together. It is the strength in every one of us here, no matter who we are. We do not wish for war, but when it is come to our doorstep, will we cower?"

' _No'_ , came the answering reply from hundreds of voices below.

"Oh, this is awkward…" Aiko mumbled, feeling her face flush pink. There was a feminine gasp. A moment later, she was wrapped up in what felt like a running hug.

"Kami, Aiko!" Shizune sobbed into her shoulder, digging her fingers into the smaller girl's back. "I thought you were-we all thought you were…" She trailed off as her head raised from Aiko's neck. "Um… Would these ladies by any chance be-"

"Nii Yugito and Fuu?" Yugito asked dryly. "Yes. We just made an exciting escape. Can we go home now?"

Shizune was silent and still for a moment. "We should probably stop the war rally then, huh? Ah… Would you three ladies wait here?" She padded off a moment, and Tsunade's voice trailed off. She made a quiet, 'what?' and then there was covert whispering away from the sound system.

"I can't believe you people," Yugito whispered incredulously. "Isn't that going to be awkward?"

"Very," Aiko agreed. "But you know, whatever." She shrugged. "Would it be any better to call everyone back for another announcement tomorrow?"

The response was a disgruntled, "Ugh."

"Belay that!" Tsunade roared. A panicked whisper rustled through the crowd below. Despite their worry, her voice was downright chipper. "Men, women, and all manner of fabulous people of Konoha! I have just received badly timed but excellent news!" She paused, and in a faux-confidential tone into whatever was projecting her voice, "That means you can cheer again." An obliging roar of confused approval went up from the crowd. Fuu seemed to choke. "If you will recall I mentioned earlier that the Raikage thinks to lay blame for his recent misfortune at our feet."

Someone who sounded suspiciously like Karin yelled something rude, but most of the crowd was silent.

"He and others conclude that Konoha has begun hunting jinchuuriki. The declaration of war he has sent is a reflection of his desire to protect his own people, not proof that the Raikage wishes our destruction, and the sole evidence for his case rests upon the murky circumstances under which one of our own was kidnapped along with kunoichi from Cloud and Waterfall."

Fuu groaned. "She doesn't have to say it like that," she mumbled rebelliously. "It sounds like we're babies or something."

"Were you or were you not rolled up in a blanket and carried out of the hotel by a plant-man?" Yugito asked dryly. There was no response.

"Well, isn't he going to be embarrassed when we send back Nii Yugito, who is waiting in the tower behind me with Fuu of Waterfall and our own Uzumaki Aiko?"

There was a shocked silence. Then the street seemed to erupt with a deafening wave of sound.

"She lives for this theatrical crap, doesn't she?" Aiko sighed, curling her hands around the hem of her oversized shirt. "We should probably go out there."

"You first," Fuu replied mulishly.

Aiko raised a hand and pointedly waved it on front of her face. Then she stopped, because that was disorienting.

"Point taken." One of her companions wrapped a steadying arm around her waist again and the other hovered by her opposite shoulder, guiding her into the light and heat of day. The crowd was still going strong. She walked straight forward until the arm guiding her squeezed in warning and abruptly stopped.

"I feel like we should be waving or something," Yugito murmured, sounding so far out of her element that it wasn't even funny.

"Why the hell not." Aiko shrugged and lifted her right hand into a jaunty little wave above her head twice, and immediately jerked it back down when the volume only picked up. "I'm ready for this to be over now."

* * *

"I'm putting you on light duty for the next week," Sasuke briskly informed, briskly rubbing his thumbs into her temples. She tried not to wince. "That means no spars and try your best not to get kidnapped by international criminals. Stop wiggling, I need to be certain I got everything."

"Your bedside manner could use some work," Aiko critiqued sullenly.

There was a pause while he seemed to fight the urge to slap her upside the head and valiantly resisted on the grounds that he had just finished taking down the swelling and repairing the original damage from Konan-inflicted head trauma that had caused the trouble in the first place. "Shut up, idiot. There doesn't appear to be anything more than usual wrong with your head. Try following my finger."

Aiko pouted but obediently tracked the digit back and forth with her now perfect vision. "I could swear that you used to respect me," she sighed.

Sasuke gave her a thoroughly unimpressed look. "That was before I found out just how ridiculous you are."

' _He's talking to me like I'm Naruto,_ ' she noted with some bafflement.

"Be tsundere on your own time," Tsunade drawled, bopping her apprentice over the head with a clipboard as she sauntered in and tossed Aiko her headband, which had been left in Water Country since Aiko didn't wear it to bed. "Step aside. Lady with a hat coming through to check your work." At Sasuke's grunt, she placatingly added, "I trust you, but you've never seen anything like that before. Normally people either have the sense to die or are treated within a few hours with an injury like that," she grunted, nudging him aside and running a diagnostic. "Pretty good, Sasuke," she complimented. "Did you intentionally-"

"I thought it was better than the alternative," he replied immediately, tapping the clipboard Tsunade had handed over briskly.

She snorted. "Well, it's not conventional, but if the kunai cuts…" Tsunade straightened and pulled a sucker out of her pocket. Uncertainly, Aiko reached out to take it. "Well, unwrap it, little idiot." She petted Aiko's head.

' _Everyone is weird. I swear these people used to be sane.'_

Still, she obediently removed the cellophane and popped the candy into her mouth, letting the stick hang out the side of her lips. With her legs dangling over the edge of the examination table and swathed in her ridiculously oversized clothing, Aiko was starting to feel the creeping suspicion that Tsunade thought of her as a little kid.

"I'm an adult, you know," she pointed out a little rebelliously, narrowing her eyes at her Hokage. She didn't remove the candy, however. It was watermelon.

"Of course you are," Tsunade replied patronizingly. She turned to the door. "Which is why I don't need your legal guardian present for debriefing before I send you out again." She sighed. "I hate to push you, but I don't see another way to get Yugito back to Cloud's custody before Kakashi and Yamato get C there."

"I'll be fine," Aiko reassured, sliding off the table and following her out. Sasuke shoved his hands in his pockets and slouched out, hovering at her side the entire walk to the office as if he thought Konan was going to drop from the ceiling and snatch her again.

' _Who knew he was such a worrywart?_ ' She shot him an unimpressed look. Slowly, he turned his head to stare her down.

Aiko had to shiver and look away. Okay, so he had an amazing bitchface.

A Chuunin runner arrived in the office about the same time they did, with a fascinated expression and a set of boots that replaced Aiko's lost ones. That was her first big hint that Tsunade would be letting her go out again. She ended up having to stuff her oversized pants into the small amount of open space between her skin and boots.

' _I definitely need to get out of these clothes. They don't really work for me at all.'_

It didn't seem like there would be an opportunity for that any time soon, however.

Debriefing was a mess, in no small part because it was a little hard to pick apart what of her perceptions had been overly affected by her less than ideal state of mind at the time. She sort of suspected that Tsunade didn't need to know that Uchiha Itachi smelled of off-brand pine soap but that his towels were luxurious, even though it had seemed important to note at the time.

She gave descriptions of all the Akatsuki she had seen—including that Hidan was apparently not deceased—and confirmed that their base had been in Rain. Aiko took the opportunity to subtly drop hints about Uchiha Madara. She couldn't very well come out and say that he'd shared his secret plots with her, but she could plant seeds.

"Wait, are you certain that Itachi deferred to this person?" Sasuke frowned. "I thought that this 'Pein' was supposedly the leader."

"That's why it seemed so weird," Aiko sighed cluelessly. "It was subtle, like it wasn't supposed to be talked about, but he was definitely wary and more deferential to 'Tobi' than he was to 'Pein.' Actually…" She frowned, and let uncertainty cross her expression before she shook her head. "No, it's stupid, and it doesn't make any sense. But at the time, I thought there was some sort of… I don't know, a similarity between the two? Something hard to put my finger on, but maybe it was the way they moved when Tobi wasn't pretending to be an idiot. Like they had similar training or something." She heaved a helpless little shrug, palms up.

That seemed to set off all sorts of alarm bells for Tsunade, but she kept whatever reservations she had locked up tight. "You said that Itachi's behavior seemed inconsistent? How so?"

"Ah…" She bit her lip, searching for the best way to phrase this. Did Tsunade know that Itachi wasn't behind the massacre? It wasn't like he would have come out and told her that over tea and cookies, but she could definitely hint, "It was very strange. He went out of his way to give away when the extraction would be taking place. Like he was helping me or something. If I hadn't known how desperate the time situation really was, I probably would have been locked up and been unable to do anything until it was too late."

Tsunade and Sasuke exchanged a significant look. Aiko tried not to roll her eyes. Perhaps they did know, then.

"Tsunade-baa-chan!" Naruto shrieked, flinging the door open. "The stupid receptionist said that Aiko wasn-"

"That's because she wasn't there," Tsunade confirmed placidly, letting a hint of fondness creep into her expression while the blond stared wide-mouthed at his sister for a moment. Then he leapt at her even as his lower lip wobbled.

' _I hate these kinds of hugs,_ ' Aiko thought tiredly as her feet dangled and her brother talked at a speed she couldn't decipher, doing his level best to deprive her of oxygen _. 'I'm not a doll. My feet are meant to be on the ground unless I move them._ ' He seemed a mite upset, though, so she soothingly patted his back.

"There, there. It's fine."

He adjusted his grip to dangle her in the air across from his face, jaw dropped incredulously. "Are you seriously trying to soothe me?" Naruto demanded, sounding strangely irritated.

Her brow crinkled. "Well, yes. You seem upset," Aiko admitted honestly. She understood why he was, of course, and felt guilty about it. If their situation had been reversed... Well, she didn't know what she would do, but it probably would have involved sneaking out after him regardless of what Tsunade said and smashing in a lot of faces whilst screeching insults like a crazy person. But all the hugging and crying just made her uncomfortable. She'd endure it for him, but left to her own devices... Probably not happening. Too many feelings were wiggling unapologetically all over the place.

Naruto stared for just a moment. Then he rolled his eyes and crushed her back to his chest. "You're an idiot, nee-chan," he informed her thickly, face buried in her hair.

She pled for help silently, appealing to Sasuke and Tsunade with her eyes. They were wearing an unpleasant mirror of each others' smirking expressions and clearly enjoying her discomfort.

"You need to stop being kidnapped," Naruto informed her seriously, setting her back down on the ground with unusual gentleness. She subconsciously straightened at the hard, mature look in his eyes. "You're reckless with your life, nee-chan."

Aiko gaped at that hypocrisy.

He continued without the slightest hint of irony. "You know you're not immortal, right? I mean, I'm glad you're a hero and all, but you can't fight Akatsuki on your own." She furrowed her brow and started to say that she knew that, she didn't intend to, but he plowed right over her objections. "I know you. You get this stupid idea that you're going to do everything on your own. Well, I'm not a kid anymore, and you don't have to protect me from Akatsuki." He all but glared her down. "Work with me. I want that. But I won't allow you to act like you're the only person who can get things done."

She whimpered a little bit, but seemed to receive no sympathy whatsoever. "Well said," Tsunade crisply cut in. "Naruto, I'll take that as a promise from you to not do anything reckless yourself, since you can see why it's a bad idea."

From his puzzled expression, Naruto didn't seem to have considered that his lecture could apply to himself as well.

Tsunade was far too amused for Aiko's comfort. "That said, I need you to grab Nii and take her to Kakashi. Hopefully, you can head off whatever Kumo has planned. Surely, if they see her there…" She cringed a little, raising a shoulder in a shrug. "It's the best we've got."

"Can do," Aiko blandly shot off, relaxing into a slouch. "Is she still in the hospital?"

"She's being escorted here after she's checked over," Tsunade reassured her. "She wasn't in bad shape, though. It should be soon." Then she heaved a sigh. "I'm so glad you're back, Aiko. I still expect Jiraiya to come swooping in here and rip me a new one for letting you get snatched," she groused with a tone that implied she thought she deserved it. "No doubt he's heard by now."

"I'm sure the pervert will be reasonable," Sasuke grunted disinterestedly.

Naruto just about choked, wide-eyed. "It's like you've never met him. He's the biggest drama queen I've ever met. Do you or do you not remember that he's composed a song and choreography for whenever he has an opportunity to introduce himself to a new person?"

The Uchiha cringed. "I was trying to forget."

"If we can't, I don't see why you should be able to," Tsunade replied with brutal honesty.

There was a knock on the door and Shizune led Yugito inside.

"Oh thank god," Aiko mumbled quietly to herself. "Are you as ready as I am to get you home?"

"Have a safe trip," Tsunade said blandly. "I would suggest that you come back the conventional way. This is important enough to risk the Hiraishin on the way there, but I don't understand it well enough that I want you abusing it right now."

Aiko bit down gently on the hard candy in her mouth in an attempt to avoid informing Tsunade that she sucked. The glare probably expressed the same thing. She dislodged the sucker just enough to mumble, "I'll see you guys in a week or so, then."

"I feel like a child being dragged around," Yugito sighed, looking distastefully at the hand Aiko offered. Still, she took it.

To save at least a little of the older woman's dignity, Aiko dropped the limb as soon as she had re-oriented them.

And blinked at the backs of three startled men who split apart in various directions at high speed. She snatched Yugito's hand right back up to drag her down into the dirt with a yelp to avoid the shuriken that came swinging through the air.

"I can't believe I missed you people!" she snarled, pulling her chin out of the dirt with a mulish expression.

She couldn't see Kakashi's face, but Yamato appeared to be broken, jaw hanging stupidly open. C seemed oddly relieved, until she remembered Yugito was one of his comrades. That was probably who he was glad to see.

Yugito yanked her hand away and shot up with a spine like a steel rod even as Aiko pushed herself up to a standing position as well.

"I guess this means you aren't dead," Yamato finally vocalized, pitch a little higher than usual. He put a fist to his chin and coughed twice, and it was normal the next time he spoke. "I'm glad to see you. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Aiko gave him a tired smile, half noting that Yugito and C were communicating in what appeared to be one of their villages hand sign languages with occasional significant glances at one of them. "Have had better weeks, though," she admitted. Yamato made a small, strained sound, and his head turned towards Kakashi. She followed the motion reflexively.

His expression was completely indecipherable, but definitely intense. Standing under that gaze made her feel a little uncomfortable. Aiko shifted her weight from one foot to another, but in the seconds that followed, Kakashi made no move to say anything or look away.

"Hi?" Aiko tried faintly. When he made no move to reply, she concentrated on looking at the bridge of his nose because there was something she couldn't quite identify in his visible eye right now.

' _You think you know a guy… Still waters run deep and all that. He's nothing like Naruto, but maybe…'_

"If, um…" she cleared her throat and started again with a decent impression of her usual flippancy. "If you need a hug, I know a guy." Aiko jerked her head towards Yamato, and then took her sucker out of her mouth and twirled it just to have something to do with her hands.

Kakashi seemed a little amused, and his face lightened. He closed the distance between them without saying a thing, and for one bizarre moment, she thought he really was going to hug her. Not that he couldn't hug, of course, but he was just such an intensely private person that it seemed out of place with two strangers present. Instead, the hand in his pocket came up and brushed through her hair. It withdrew almost immediately, but there was a familiar weight against her scalp when it did.

"Try not to lose this the next time you get kidnapped?" he drawled, crinkling his eye up into a cute imitation of a smile. "Tsunade gave it back to me for lack of anything else to do with it, but I'm afraid it doesn't look as good on me."

For some reason she couldn't quite identify, Aiko flushed what had to be an ugly shade of red and averted her eyes down to his sandals.

* * *

As it turned out, the Raikage didn't believe in delegation. Despite Kakashi and Yamato's reservations, Yugito had taken the group's lead to make it easily visible that the situation had changed. Aiko was grateful for that when the Raikage met them dead-on and four Jounin flanked them. She forced her body language to hide her discomfort and painted a pleasant smile onto her face. This wasn't someone she wanted to display aggressiveness around.

"What is this?" he demanded. The Raikage was an enormous bear of a man: not as tall as Kisame, no, but even wider built with obscenely bulging muscles.

And the weirdest fashion sense she'd ever seen. He was bare-chested despite the cold, but had apparently thrown on a scarf on his way out the door. What the hell? Was he planning on going to Laputa or something? In combination with the gigantic gold belt he was wearing… Well, she didn't know what to think.

"Greetings, Raikage-sama, from Lady Tsunade," Kakashi cut in silkily. "I believe these are yours?" He nodded congenially towards Yugito and a sheepish looking C.

"Is this some kind of trick?" He narrowed his eyes at the group, giving Yugito a suspicious once-over. "Are you trying to trick me with a fake? Or are you just admitting your complicity?"

"Neither, Raikage-sama," Aiko tilted her chin up to make eye contact. "I apologize for the delay, but Yugito-san and I only escaped Akatsuki's hospitality recently."

He seemed unconvinced. A plodded towards her, coming far too close for Aiko's comfort, and then bent just enough to make eye contact. "Are you trying to pull one over my eyes, girl?" he breathed. "Don't underestimate the Raikage. Is this an ambush? Konoha said they were sending two Jounin, and here I see three marked Konoha shinobi. If those two aren't really mine, then it sure looks like you just wanted a fight." He grinned unpleasantly into her face.

Aiko resisted the urge to step back. "Of course I don't want to fight you," she said practically. "You'd kick my ass. I like my bones the way they are, thank you, unbroken and in place."

There was a small, frustrated groan from either Yugito or Yamato, but she didn't turn in time to see who had made it. A slowly exhaled and raised one brow. He looked a bit pleased, though, by the calm acknowledgement of his physical superiority. "Darui. You would know C anywhere. Is this him?"

One of the Jounin stepped forward and made a detailed examination of the sulky-looking blonde, tugging his hair, asking him quiet questions, and then stepped back with a content smile. "Yes it is, Raikage-sama. And I would wager that's Yugito-san as well."

"I can confirm Konoha's account," Yugito stepped in professionally, now that all the attention was on her. "We were held in custody of a group of missing nin who expressed the intent to unseal the bijuu held in Fuu-san and myself."

"And Konoha couldn't have tricked you and sent this girl to rescue you to gain your allegiance?" A asked skeptically, pointing rudely at Aiko with one of his sausage-sized fingers. She scowled at it.

Yugito was calmer. "No, Raikage-sama. That doesn't fit. I suspect that her stay in Akatsuki custody was rather more unpleasant than mine. If Konoha had meant to gain our trust, they would have had us bond in captivity and not risked losing their operative."

Aiko cringed, and determinedly did not meet eye contact with anyone. That hadn't been her best moment.

"I see, I see." Aiko just about jumped out of her skin—the Raikage was about two inches from her nose, peering at her contemplatively. He didn't look that impressed. "Is this really the Fourth Hokage's child?"

Kakashi jerked unpleasantly. That, Aiko found interesting. He clearly didn't like or expect that to be public knowledge. That implied…

' _Did dad have history with the Raikage?'_

Despite her trepidation, there was nothing for Aiko to do but to acknowledge it. Tsunade had already let that particular cat out of the bag. "I am." She tilted her head up slightly, unconsciously challenging him.

His eyes narrowed, tracing the contours of her face—her cheekbones, jawline, nose, and settled on her eyes. "You do look something like him," A acknowledged, straightening up to peer at her from a distance. "Especially the eyes, and that dopey look on your face."

' _Dopey? Seriously?'_

Offended, she scowled at him.

He laughed.

That wasn't the reaction she was going for at all.

"Konoha _did_ pull one over on us," A declaimed, looking at her with a serious expression but amusement in his eyes. "Or two, the way I hear it."

She said nothing in response to that, but her 'adorable little girl' act had been thoroughly abandoned in exchange for what she might have termed 'an expression of anger' but Yamato clearly thought was a pout, judging by his poorly hidden amusement.

"Bah," A dismissed. "Did you bring the kid for any reason other than to show me how bloodlines weaken in Konoha over just a generation?"

' _I'm going to smash his face open like a grape.'_

"Yes, she was meant to remove the seal placed on C." Kakashi shoved his hands in his pockets as if he was bored. Sullenly, Aiko nodded in agreement.

"Well, then do it." A gave her a skeptical look.

She turned her face away with a huff and jutted her chin out, turning away. Aiko didn't trust herself to say anything without resorting to informing the Raikage that he was a big old dummy, so she gritted her jaw shut and turned away. C looked a bit uneasy to see her stomping towards him, but gave a sideways glance at an amused looking Yugito that implied he would consider edging away if he didn't risk getting mocked for it.

' _Not in the mood for your shit, or anyone else's for that matter.'_

The expression on her face must have been truly hideous, because C looked about ready to roll over and show his belly. In the back of her mind, she noted that she really might have unnerved him when they'd fought and it wasn't entirely fair to take her anger out on him.

Aiko did not care. She walked right up to him and jerked C's shirt right up, slamming her palm into his gut.

Kakashi made a strange choking sound behind her.

She wasn't paying attention. With more vindictiveness than usual, she gathered up the seal and yanked it off his stomach. Irritably, she shook her fingers and forcibly dissolved it, and yanked the shirt back down forcibly. "Don't be such a baby," Aiko huffed, giving him an unpleasant look.

Then she tossed her hair over her shoulder and stalked away, back to where Kakashi and Yamato were still standing. Aiko did her level best to communicate, 'Can we go home now?' through her expression, but they didn't seem to be registering it.

"Hmm." A shot her one last look, before turning to stare down Kakashi. He appeared to be asserting his dominance, but Kakashi deflected the potential dick-waving competition by appearing not to notice.

' _I take back what I said earlier. The Raikage sucks. I bet Kakashi could kick his ass._ ' Aiko narrowed her eyes at him. ' _And he could do it with his shirt on.'_

"This is a little off-putting, you know," A pointed out to the group at large. "I was planning on killing you for your treachery after C was released into my custody, and I do hate changing plans."

There was a sudden, noticeable heightening in tension.

"But I can see that I was mistaken. It isn't Konoha I need to destroy."

' _First half intelligent thing he's said since I met him,'_ Aiko thought mulishly.

"I promised to treat with Konoha," A sighed, scratching at his chin. "But that Senju woman—I've always thought she was so weak. Did she ever get over her fear of blood? Ha!" He shook his head. "You're Konoha, kid. You look like a damn idiot, but I respected your father. Do you have anything intelligent to say? Make your case."

Well, that was awkward and not entirely conventional. Was he going to be offended if she refused to talk to him? She could deal with Tsunade later.

"I don't like you," Aiko said bluntly.

She could almost hear Kakashi's hopes for this encounter to go well flushing down the drain.

"But I think that we should work together. You have as much reason to hate Akatsuki as I do- maybe more. I can't blame you for turning against Konoha when you thought we were responsible. If I thought Kumo had killed my otouto, I would burn it to the fucking ground and then turn it into a swamp."

"I can't believe Tsunade made you a diplomat," Kakashi muttered sullenly behind her. She ignored that. Now wasn't the time for his negativity.

Aiko fixed A with a dead serious expression. His gaze was evaluative. Contrary to what her companions seemed to think, her strategy had been tailored for him and seemed to be working acceptably. He didn't look like he was about to dismiss her: A seemed blunt and like he valued it when people didn't tell polite lies. He respected strength and was proud of his own. She didn't want to seem weak in any way around him. Encouraging him to think that her position was similar to his by stressing that they both had jinchuuriki for little brothers couldn't hurt, either.

"That's what you should want to do to Akatsuki. Put them all twenty feet under in B's name. I'll do anything in my power to ensure you get the eight-tailed bijuu back if you help me rip every one of those irritating idiots from limb to limb. I'm sure you don't want morons trying to rule the world any more than I do."

He paused, and tilted his head slightly to the side before he asked, "Morons?"

Aiko nodded gravely. "They're really dumb."

A's lips twitched. "Well, we can't have that," he allowed gravely. His hands shot to his hips in a heroic pose and he squared his shoulders. "Alright! You've convinced me, shrimp." (He seemed to ignore the sudden spike in killing intent from Aiko. Possibly because Yamato had laid a desperate hand on her dangerously still shoulder to prevent her from leaping at the Raikage to throttle him.) "The Raikage agrees to ally with Konoha and their flimsy allies to hunt the organization known as Akatsuki!"

"I'm so grateful I could cry," Aiko gritted out through her teeth.

Seriously, shrimp? Shrimp?! She wasn't small, he was oversized and his face was stupid. And besides, shrimp were so gross.

* * *

"I think he likes you," Kakashi said blandly as they traveled through Bear Country towards home. A lesser man might have quailed under the look Aiko shot him, but the bastard probably found it funny.

"I don't like him," she huffed, sticking out her lower lip. "He's rude."

Yamato snorted. "Coming from you?" he started dryly. "That sounds a bit hypocritical. You really have that redhead temper sometimes."

"I'm constantly impressed by your dignified handle on diplomacy," Kakashi added, insufferably amused.

"And the way you never tell foreign heads of state that you dislike them." Yamato smiled.

' _Are they seriously teasing me? I got the job done, didn't i?'_

Aiko glowered. "You guys suck. You just suck."

They continued to suck when they set up camp for the night.

"I'll run the perimeter."

"No, I think I've got it." Yamato bounded off before she could move. Aiko was left blinking as he cleared the area.

"O-kay," she drawled uncertainly. That was weird. "Alright." Kakashi gave her a strangely pleased look, but offered no comment. Something similar happened after they'd eaten the rations for the night.

"I'll take first watch. Tenzou, you're second."

Aiko raised an eyebrow, wondering why he hadn't bothered to complete the obvious corollary that she would be on the third shift, but obligingly settled down to rest.

"Aiko, what are you doing?"

She dug her face out of her arms to give him a quizzical look. "Going to sleep?" Aiko tried delicately.

Kakashi shook his head disapprovingly. "You didn't bring your gear?"

Aiko gave him a deadpan expression. "No, I think I left it with Itachi. Do you think I should go back and ask for my stuff back? He seems like such a nice guy. And his friend Tobi was great too. We played Go Fish and talked about boys."

They hadn't really talked about boys, but the addition had just felt right.

Kakashi didn't seem terribly pleased by the reminder. His lips seemed to thin under the mask he was wearing. "Is that why you're wearing men's clothes? Where did those come from?"

"Er-" Involuntarily, Aiko glanced down. It was pretty obvious that they weren't hers. "Yeah, mine pretty much got ruined. These belonged to that one blond Akatsuki."

If it was possible, he seemed even less thrilled. "I see." Without a word, he stalked over to his bag and unzipped it

"Um…"

"Here."

Aiko automatically caught the fabric that came winging her way.

"It's been worn, but it's better than wearing something you got from the Akatsuki," Kakashi muttered darkly. "For all you know, it's been trapped or they can track you with it."

That seemed excessively paranoid, but whatever. She blinked at him expectantly, but he didn't seem to get the hint. Eventually, she raised an eyebrow. "Well, are you going to turn around so I can change?"

The mildly surprised look he gave her implied that he had forgotten there was a necessary transitional stage between 'wearing Deidara's clothes' and 'wearing other clothes'. He did turn around, back stiff. As soon as she was done, he scanned the area again as if he thought the forces of evil had been gathering in the last thirty seconds.

She noted somewhat grudgingly that his clothes fit her even worse than Deidara's. Kakashi might have caught the slightly longing look she gave the items she'd just removed, because his eye narrowed and he took them out of her hands- and threw them directly on the fire.

' _Okay,_ ' Aiko thought slowly. _'Let's slowly back away from the crazy person.'_

"You can have my kit for the night," he called dismissively over his shoulder. It didn't seem like a good time to question him, so she just crawled into his bedroll and tried not to contemplate how bizarre everyone else had suddenly become.

They never did wake her up to take a shift on watch.


	90. The Trouble With Fancy Eyeballs

Note on future depictions: I will not be adhering strictly to canon in regards to powers for people like Obito, Madara, and Naruto, because I think they are asinine. ('Asinine' here being a technical term meaning 'the author got paid per volume so he wanted to make this series last forever but he didn't know how to write a story that didn't involve his protagonist being an underdog and had to resort to escalating levels of ridiculous shenanigans to create even the flimsiest of pretenses that Naruto couldn't have just fucking stomped Madara after _everyone in the fucking world_ spent hours gaping like slack-jawed morons and talking about how Naruto was better than absolutely everyone else because this is wish-fulfillment in lieu of narrative', and anyway, the author appears to have some fucking weird eyeball fetish).

It's a really complicated, industry term. Don't feel bad if you were previously unaware. Just be forewarned that telling me I'm making someone weaker than they should be will be met with me making frustrated (and increasingly rude) gestures at my keyboard. It's purposeful.

But that's not relevant at all to this chapter! So enjoy. Or don't. Whatever.

I just want you to know that I saved this document and then exited, thinking I had posted it. An hour went by and I was getting really depressed that no one was reviewing. D'oh. I'm a very smart lady.

I'm already writing the first scene of the next one. If it doesn't make you cackle like it does me, then we can't be internet frans anymore. Or just don't tell me, for the love of dog.

* * *

Aiko took a deep breath and tried to pose her question as reasonably as possible.

"Sasuke, when the hell are you going to get out of my apartment?"

Probably could have done better, but the point remained.

He gave her a scathing look over his book. "When the likelihood that you will immediately run off to undo all my work by finding an international criminal to fight or just by banging your head against a wall drops below ninety-five percent."

"When did you get so judgmental and crabby?" she muttered dubiously. Sitting under his dark glare was getting to be unnerving, so she meandered into the kitchen and killed time by cleaning and then making mochi. It might have been a dignified retreat if she wasn't moodily banging pots and pans around as she worked. That should make it harder for him to read his stupid medical book, the rotten twat.

"You know, you're acting like a child," Sasuke called archly from the other room. "It's only been a day, and you're meant to be on leave for two weeks now. If you're going to fuss the whole time, it's not going to be pleasant."

"It would be more pleasant," she muttered, before raising her voice, "if you would get out of my house!"

"Gladly," he huffed. "Just as soon as Naruto gets here."

' _They're really taking this too far.'_ Aiko rubbed a hand across her cheek, inadvertently smearing it with rice flour.

Granted, she suspected that there was more going on than their recently acquired paranoia. Tsunade was probably just making sure that Danzo couldn't interfere with her rest period by making sure she was never alone for him to call in for work. If someone like Sasuke was around, he could hardly risk summoning her. Naruto and Sasuke were both relatively inconspicuous—no one would think her little brother being clingy was odd, nor that his medic friend would also choose to hang around.

Granted, they probably hadn't been told that was what was happening. Sasuke might know a fair bit about Danzo being a total shitbird, but Naruto definitely didn't. She couldn't imagine that Tsunade would have risked compromising her mission by telling anyone she was meant to be infiltrating Root. So they were probably _genuinely under the impression_ that she was likely to do something ridiculously stupid.

Still, that didn't mean she was any less crabby about being babied. Tsunade could have at least sent someone who knew enough about the situation that they wouldn't assume she needed to be watched for the wrong reasons. She knew damn well why Sai wasn't on the approved list of visitors: he was ROOT, for crap's sake. But that did inconvenience her. She'd only seen him in passing for days. She maybe sort of kind of missed him. He was an ass, but he was an ass who could relate to her stupidly complicated double life. Granted, no one wanted to treat him like a child, inside or outside of ROOT. Lucky.

"If you're going to be here, you may as well make yourself useful." Aiko flopped down on the couch and kicked at him with her heels to push him off the side in an ungainly tumble. "Change the lightbulb in the kitchen, please."

He may as well use those long legs for something other than hogging her furniture.

In another situation, it might have been fun to have a sleepover with Naruto, especially since he toted Karin and Hinata along with him. But at the moment, Aiko would really prefer to be able to detoxify in the comfort of her Cave of Solitude. With no one around. At all.

Like, for miles.

* * *

Newly sixteen, bored and alone except for several short visits from Sai when he could creep away from his duties, Aiko finished out what felt like her prison term on medical leave in sullen avoidance of humanity in general. Naruto, Sasuke, and Karin had been made into a team and sent out to work along with several other Konoha teams, among them Kakashi's. It was more than a bit frustrating to hear that four of the five major villages were forming teams to hunt Akatsuki and that she wasn't invited to the party. Sure, she'd been 'not invited' to plenty of parties before, but they were usually the dumb kind with streamers and cake. This was actually important, and she was languishing at home and missing out on the action.

But that would probably change now that she was off leave. Aiko grinned into her mirror on the morning she was free, taking the extra minute to make sure that her side-braid wasn't a hot mess for once and pinning down the hair that wanted to escape. Her good mood faded a bit as soon as she left her apartment.

It took a certain kind of person to appreciate having strangers stop and stare at them like slack-jawed idiots whenever they went outside. Aiko was not that sort of person. At best, she tolerated the attention and kindness of strangers.

' _Really, it's galling,'_ she thought moodily, taking to the roofs in an attempt to look like she was in a hurry so no one would try to talk to her. ' _They thought Naruto was a delinquent when they didn't think he was a demon, and that I was collateral damage for fifteen years, and now they suddenly find me interesting because my sperm donor has an ugly statue on the mountain? Bitch please. If they didn't have the sense to recognize that Naruto wasn't a monster when he was an adorable little toddler, I don't want anything to do with them. Lack of sense might be contagious.'_

In an abstract way, she was a little pleased for Naruto's sake, who had been cautiously enjoying the reduced hostility. Then again, he'd never really shared her carefully maintained distance from humanity as a whole, so the comparison was moot. He'd been alone because no one wanted anything to do with him, not because he thought they sucked.

No point in dwelling on that now.

Instead, she reported to the administration office to declare her name back onto the active duty roster and see if there was a mission she could snap up or get assigned to. There seemed to be no such luck, but she was told to come back in four hours to meet with Tsunade. It wasn't exactly surprising that Tsunade had predicted she would come by as soon as she could, so Aiko didn't assume the worst. Her free time was spent on her first training session since she had gotten back from Akatsuki custody.

It didn't go well. Two weeks of nothing more athletic than walking around town had taken a toll on her conditioning. It would probably take her days to get back to speed, and she'd lost out on whatever progress she'd made towards better endurance. She had to consciously work on not pouting.

A shower and wardrobe change later, Aiko bypassed as many people as possible by knocking politely on Tsunade's window before letting herself in. She wove in between the tiny forest of potted plants to peer at her Hokage with an expectant smile.

Getting a smile in return actually threw her off a bit. She wasn't sure exactly why, but something about it put her on edge. Tsunade rolled her eyes and reverted to impassivity.

"Come in and have a seat. I have something I'd like to show you."

That might be interesting. Aiko perched on the big desk and blinked expectantly down at the older woman. When the only response was a raised eyebrow, she slowwwwly leaned in and fluttered her eyelashes beguilingly.

_'Don't fight the cuteness. You know you want to give me an amazing mission. Just look at this face. Can you say no to this face?'_

Tsunade snorted fondly and swatted her away. "Don't look too excited. You're probably going to hate this assignment at first."

Aiko gave a suspicious look at that wording: implying that her up-coming mission would be long enough that she would have time to change her mind on it. Still, any mission was better than sitting around all day.

"Mind, this is one that every Jounin who is remotely stable gets at one point," she continued archly, cracking her knuckles and stretching. "In some form or another. How long it lasts is up to you, after your main objective is complete."

With a sigh, Aiko rolled her eyes. "What are you talking about, crazy lady?"

Then she dodged the pen that barely whizzed over her head. Tsunade wiped the scowl off her face to innocently say, "Why, a student, of course. A Jounin's duty is to pass on what they know to the younger generation."

Aiko was struck dumb.

That gave Tsunade opportunity to carry on. "I have a girl in mind for you, of course," she continued, holding out a suspiciously thin folder.

"But I am the younger generation!" Aiko interrupted belatedly, shaking her head a bit frantically. "That's crazy talk. Is this another scheme to keep me from doing anything dumb? Just because it worked for Kakashi-"

"Uzumaki Aiko, I am your Hokage and it is not your place to talk back to me." Tsunade's eyes were narrowed in irritation. "And no, this is not all about you, despite what you may think. Although it certainly couldn't hurt your reckless tendencies to have to stop and think about how your actions directly affect others, this is actually about the student in question." She nodded impatiently at the proffered folder.

Somewhat reluctantly, Aiko took it and flipped it open to the first page. Her expression stilled.

She had never seen this child before in her life, but she didn't need to. The family name was a mystery, but the shock of slightly ruffled black hair, thin lips, and name 'Fukiko' rang a very loud bell in her mind.

"It's too risky for Sasuke to take her on himself," Tsunade murmured lowly, lowering her eyelashes as if in memory. "Sensei wouldn't have approved since she's so young, but I'm willing to be a bit unconventional. Fukiko-chan needs more supervision and guidance than the academy can provide her."

' _What is she talking about?_ ' Puzzled, Aiko glanced back down at the round face depicted in black and white in her hands.

Was this favoritism—a personal favor from Tsunade to Sasuke to make him feel safer about his little cousin? Or was there some possible danger Aiko didn't know about that meant little Fukiko needed a Jounin to help her get as strong as possible?

There was also the possibility that Fukiko was just so talented that Tsunade wanted her in the ranks as soon as possible, but that didn't seem to fit.

The expression she leveled on Tsunade must have been absolutely baffled, because Tsunade took some pity on her. "Alright, if I'm to be honest, I am hoping that giving you long-term obligations will keep your head out of the clouds, but this isn't a simple assignment. I don't think I have to tell you why it would be dangerous to send this girl out into stressful situations in less than the most controlled of situations? Even an Academy spar could… illuminate," she picked delicately, "truths that I would prefer stayed hidden. Personal attention from a Jounin, even a new one, would better ensure that all aspects of her training are carefully controlled."

' _She's worried about Fukiko getting her Sharingan in training and becoming a target,'_ Aiko realized dully. It made sense. If Itachi had manifested it before he hit ten, Fukiko might as well. If anyone who didn't know anything about the situation found out, the word could be spread and she would be in terrible danger.

But putting her with Aiko was hardly a guarantee of safety either. What was Tsunade thinking? She worked in close proximity to Danzo who…stole…Sharingan eyes.

Tsunade didn't know that, Aiko realized, struck pale by horror. She hadn't come out and told Tsunade that Danzo had a set of pilfered peepers implanted in his arm because there was _absolutely no way she could conceivably know_. She'd thought that she had time to figure out a way to point Tsunade in the right direction without resorting to a flimsy pretext that Tsunade might see through or outright lying about how she'd found out. Telling her the truth was right out, no fucking way.

But so was accepting the mission. Danzo would love to have a young, moldable Uchiha in his grasp. Theoretically, as long as she was his agent, he might be able to compel her to bring Fukiko to him or train her as a root agent in the way he preferred. Or he might just want to cut her up for spare parts.

It might have been her imagination, but her tongue was on fire and swelling up in her throat, as if to remind her of her sworn allegiance to Danzo's interests. Well, that had never been truthfully given in her part.

There was nothing for it. Aiko opened her mouth to say that she couldn't accept the assignment.

"Very well, Tsunade-sama." Without her consent, her spine bent into a respectful bow and her face was blank when she rose. No matter how she tried, her lips wouldn't obey her conscious control. Her pulse should have been racing, but it was as calm as it had been a moment before. "I understand. I will do you proud."

Tsunade gave her a genuine smile, even as Aiko screamed and raged against this, what was happening, this was wrong, wrong, wrong. "I know you will," the older woman said warmly. "Take that with you. I will leave it to you to decide how to approach her, but please don't imitate Anko-chan and worry her teachers."

With smooth leonine movement, Aiko murmured a polite goodbye and strode out of the office, down through the tower, and to a training ground. When her muscles finally slackened back into her conscious control she immediately began trembling. Anyone watching might have been startled by just how suddenly her breath turned harsh and the strange way she raised her shaking hands to stare at them almost uncomprehendingly.

It took perhaps five minutes for her to be able to lowly sum up, "That isn't good."

Obviously, Danzo's seal had interfered with her speech. She had known it could do that, but had never experienced it before. Then again… she had never talked about Root with anyone but Sai or Danzo, had never tried to pass information, and had never tried to do anything counter to Danzo's interests..

' _Except destroying those papers about Fukiko and contracts from Orochimaru,_ ' her mind protested crossly. ' _And working on a counterseal. What makes those things different from this? Is speech monitored differently, more tightly, than actions are?'_

Aiko was momentarily struck dumb by the possibility that the great weakness of Danzo's fuinjutsu masterpiece might be playing charades. That was just so stupid that it made her head hurt a little. She took a moment to imagine miming an old man with one eye stealing eyeballs.

' _Tsunade might not get that one. Maybe I need a better plan.'_

And fucking damnit, she needed a better plan now, because the cushion time she thought she had to put dealing with Danzo off in favor of more time-sensitive issues was lost. It was so frustrating and stupid: with the tumultuous state of affairs outside the capital, dramatic re-structuring and shifts in power could be a really bad idea. If she rushed this, Aiko might well be negatively impacting Konoha's short term stability at a time when they desperately needed to pull together.

Well, there was nothing for it. Aiko had never claimed to be impartial. Partiality was actually one of her defining traits, if she were to be honest about it. Not only was she not going to be responsible for subjecting some poor child to Danzo, but she was definitely not going to do so to one of Sasuke's few precious people. She would protect herself and her own people before others, even other innocents. It was a truth she had made peace with, ugly as it sounded.

There was far too high a possibility that her seal would compel her to open up about her student to Danzo if asked; or to influence Fukiko in ways she might not have otherwise. It had never forced her to speak to Danzo before when she had wanted to withhold information…

Did the seal allow for ambiguity, but strong-arm compliance when she had actually _termed_ an action as counter to his interests? Danzo had never said, "bring back all the paper in Orochimaru's base" because he didn't want to be bothered with ten years of ramen receipts or whatever trash might be laying around. Her orders in that scenario had given her room to interpret what she thought needed to come back, what Danzo needed to see. But her thoughts in Tsunade's office about Fukiko had been straightforward: Danzo would be interested in her, so I can't be around Fukiko.

"Oh, bother," Aiko grumped, laying down on the grass to cloud-gaze and think. She couldn't even just take the damn seal off, because she would be worthless as an agent after that and her mission was to throw Danzo under the bus. If she scampered off early, she might do more harm than good.

This Fukiko brat had better be worth all the fuss. If she ended up stuck with a squealing little girly girl, Aiko might just truss her up and return her to Tsunade. She hadn't really accepted the mission, after all.

She swallowed the thought that Tsunade would be very disappointed with her if she did that for more productive contemplations.

_'There's a lot I can't do. I should go over what I can do, then. There's got to be something useful there. Even while I have the seal I can do all manner of conspiratorial shenanigans with a Root agent. I can remove the seal. I can.."_

* * *

Tsunade stared. The blank-faced boy in front of her stared back. A bit weakly, she cleared her throat. When it came out, her voice was a bit more perplexed than she would like. "You came here to defect from Root?"

The boy known as Sai gave her an eye-crinkling grin without any sincerity. It curdled her blood just a little. "That is correct, Hokage-sama," he answered pleasantly.

What followed was madness. The details of the training Danzo inflicted on his soldiers, the extensive map of the underground tunnels and various safe-houses belonging to the organization, a claim about the numbers of the organization that far succeeded what she had guessed, and the chilling recitation of orders for different contingencies. Among them was "What we do when Danzo becomes Hokage," which Tsunade found unsettling on a professional level. She certainly didn't plan on retiring, and that old coot wasn't likely to outlive her if she died of natural causes.

One of the things that disturbed her most, however, was the calm explanation he gave for how he was able to leave the organization. Sai refused to elaborate on how, exactly, he had escaped Danzo's grasp, and deferred by saying 'I was taught to use fuinjutsu as the central component of my taijutsu'.

That didn't fit. Jiraiya and Aiko's combined efforts hadn't produced an efficient counterseal, and she would know if Sai was missing half his tongue from the seal's last ditch effort to maintain itself while being picked apart.

' _But he isn't saying that he's the one who took it off,'_ Tsunade noted carefully, observing him in silence. _'He's deflecting, and implying that it's_ _ **possible**_ _that he did. I can't guarantee that he's lying. If he was, what nefarious reason could he really have? Is he protecting someone else? Is this a trap from Danzo?'_

If it was, she just couldn't see how. In what way could it possibly benefit Danzo for her to have the information she now did? Even if it was an elaborate trap, would he really risk removing the seal from his agent to tell it to her? He wasn't a trusting man, or else he wouldn't have the damn seals in the first place. What was to stop her from putting Sai in Torture and Interrogation's tender hands to wring out the real story?

Nothing, that was what.

"As an admitted member of an illicit organization within Fire Country's borders, guilty of following orders of a false authority, you will be taken to Interrogation," Tsunade informed him crisply. The boy nodded, clearly intelligent enough to have predicted that for himself. If he was lying, she would find out.

If he wasn't, however, she couldn't afford to wait for Danzo to notice that his agent was missing and tighten his organization or make her information useless. She would need him in custody as well.

Tsunade walked past her guest to her door and called Shizune. The girl was messy-haired and distracted when she came, but fell into rigid discipline when Tsunade quietly explained that she was to escort the boy waiting docilely in her office to Ibiki through one of the secured tunnels leading from the administration building to the intelligence department.

When the boy actually cocked his head in interest at that, Tsunade had to give a wry smile to the back of his head as Shizune lead him out. Where did he think Danzo had gotten the idea? There were all sorts of secret passageways in the infrastructure of Konoha's oldest sections. Some were moved, sealed and opened again periodically to prevent anyone from knowing the structure too well, but some were important enough that only the Hokage and her personal guard knew about them. That was a small list: six people, in addition to Tsunade's apprentices.

One of those people was on Tsunade's mind while she tensely pawed through her drawer for a letter that had been prepared months ago. Hopefully, her contact could think on his feet.

Aiko was probably involved in this. That was the only conclusion that fit: She had been told to fork over whatever information she could about Root, and she had ready access to Sai. It seemed more likely that Aiko had come to a breakthrough on the Root seal than that Sai had changed his mind about his allegiances independently and then proceeded to unpick his slavery seal without input from a master of the craft.

But why wasn't she the one giving this report? And why now? She hadn't seen the girl in days, but it hadn't been so long ago that Aiko couldn't have given her some kind of hint that something was coming if this was her doing.

Those thoughts in her mind, Tsunade waved her hand to summon the ANBU waiting in her office to fetch her- and then thought better of it. When the Boar-faced operative appeared from the hidden alcove her private bodyguards favored, she directed him to remain visible in her office for the rest of the shift. It might be beneficial to have an obvious, aggressive presence, depending on how things played out. She had Keiko send a runner to the hospital for Sasuke, who grumpily came at her call, still wearing a medical mask hanging around his neck.

Tsunade scowled at him thoughtlessly. "Take that off, it gives the impression that you think everyone else is diseased."

He opened his mouth, probably to claim that he suspected they were, but she cut him off sharply with a swipe of her hand. "I need you to run some messages."

Sasuke looked a little outraged at being pulled away from his work, but nodded sullenly as he dropped the sanitary gear into her trash. He probably thought that she was just abusing her authority. That impression didn't seem unfounded when she pressed twenty identical invitations into his hand with a smirk. "Names are on them already," she informed him briskly.

One person would be receiving agreed upon code. But nineteen of those recipients would probably be pleasantly surprised to be invited to dine with the Hokage. They'd make a good smoke screen for her true purpose. If someone was keeping track of who she contacted, they would have to sort through a lot of dead ends.

Some of the ringers would be alarming to Danzo. He didn't like it when she had dealings with the liberal and loud factions or those sniveling twits who liked to report on the council's dealings to the Daimyo. Hopefully, Akimichi Choza would register as a comparatively minor threat and be investigated after the most suspicious categories: those who seemed the most dangerous and those who seemed the most innocuous. Danzo would be looking for all sorts of meaning in her decision to invite some sweet, newly promoted Chuunin over to mingle with the bigwigs. Paranoid old coot.

' _But then, so am I_ ,' she mused blackly, giving a sharp little smile to her ANBU guard. Better safe than sorry. For all she knew, one of Danzo's agents could come swinging in here, since Sai had blabbed. Tsunade could take care of herself, but it never hurt to have a visual reminder that she wasn't alone.

* * *

She hated this. The throbbing in her tongue had thankfully gone down so that her speech was unimpeded, but the feeling of it lolling in her throat was an unpleasant reminder that this was the exact situation she had tried to avoid.

"The Hokage must trust you." Danzo seemed amused at the thought. Perhaps rightly so, since she had sought him out on her own.

Aiko merely waited. That wasn't a question.

"Do you know why she chose to give you this student?"

Her voice was as even as humanly possible, in imitation of the careless clip of Sai's professionally blank diction. "She expressed two lines of reasoning. The first was in relation to myself. Tsunade-sama expressed the opinion that I might be better utilized within the village, and thought that keeping me occupied with a long-term assignment would be efficient." Aiko ignored his scornful scoff. She didn't entirely disagree. "The second is the student herself, Fujiwara Fukiko. Tsunade-sama expressed her belief that Fukiko-san is likely to manifest the Sharingan, and wishes to abstain from letting that occur in an uncontrolled setting. It is her belief that Fukiko should become a Chuunin before her heritage becomes public knowledge. She trusts that I can conduct any such portion of her training in secret until an appropriate time."

Danzo had become very, very still.

So Aiko closed her lips and patiently waited. She had been ordered to remove her mask, so her features were the blank canvas she was allowing her nominal superior to paint his impressions on. He wasn't really paying attention to her anyways, lost in thought as he was. She could practically see the hamster wheel spinning, and rather thought she knew where it would stop.

"You have done well, Sakura-chan. Make contact with Fujiwara as soon as possible. When you are certain you are not being observed, you will bring the girl to me."

She bowed deeply. "Of course, Danzo-sama," she murmured, letting her eyelashes rest against her cheek while her face was mostly hidden. It was less creepy than staring up at someone in that position. Keeping her gaze on him would have been a bit aggressive for her purposes. As Aiko swung upwards, her muscles jerked without her conscious control towards the opening door.

The blank mask on the Root member who had opened it almost seemed disapproving of her startle. Danzo was visibly displeased at the interruption.

"What is the meaning of this?" he growled. For a moment, Aiko was rather glad that she was not the one he was angry at.

The man only bowed deeply. "Forgive me, Danzo-sama," he murmured. "But a messenger arrived at your home not long ago with a time-sensitive missive. The small council has extended an invitation to tea. Nara Shikaku hopes that you can provide insight into a petition they must vote on tomorrow." Danzo snatched the paper out of his hand to read it for himself.

He visibly relaxed, though he didn't seem to know if he wanted to be pleased at the call for his advice or vexed that it had come so late. "Very well then. You are both dismissed. Sakura-chan, meet me tonight for further orders." Laboriously, he stood up.

' _Faker,_ ' Aiko thought uncharitably. ' _You're in much better shape than that.'_

Danzo's comparative level of feebleness aside, there was a more important issue to contemplate as she donned her mask and fled the premises. That interruption had come far sooner than she would have expected Tsunade to be able to move—was this her doing, or an instance of unfortunate timing that would fuck with what she'd hoped would happen?

Aiko assumed that Sai had sang like a beautiful, easily convinced bird for Tsunade, but he should have gone there only slightly before she went to Danzo—an hour before. The point was establishing that she was loyal as well as making it perfectly clear that she couldn't possibly have been complicit in what was going on.

But now everything was fucked up, she mused darkly. Boar should have come to report to Danzo _after_ his shift was over. That would have given Tsunade six hours to get her shit together and call him to her office, or have him summoned in, or hell, for all Aiko cared Tsunade could ambush him on the toilet. Now the timing was all wrong—would Boar be able to report to Danzo at the right time? Shit, shit, shit.

' _The best laid plans of mice and men,_ ' Aiko thought wryly, stripping out of her Root ANBU guise and hastily tugging on shorts. She had to see what damage control could be done. The first step to that was information gathering.

It was a good thing that she was a sneaky little bastard.

* * *

"This is unconventional," Hyuuga Hiashi murmured a bit stiffly, watching the slouching Nara clan head huff and puff as if this errand was too troublesome for him. Nonetheless, he persisted in his demand.

"You must have thoughts about the proposal to expand the small council." Shikaku seemed to be mulling over the possibility himself, though Hiashi had no idea what was going on inside Nara's head. He shoved his hands into his flak jacket with a casualness that almost offended Hiashi. It would have, if he had been less aware that the other man was intentionally cultivating a certain image. It wasn't an image he saw value in, but the clans were different.

His lips thinned. Hiashi would have to be a Buddha not to be affected by the unpleasant irony that losing his daughter had given the Uzumaki the numbers of active shinobi to _technically_ meet the requirements for membership as a clan. It was absurd and only fitting to the law as a technicality, when Clan heads and every married member of a clan was technically a reserve member of Konoha's standing forces unless they chose otherwise. The law was clearly intended to reward civilian clans for beginning the transition to shinobi families. As their children gained acclaim, so would the status of the clan rise. It was only just.

Of course, it was too late to contest that. The Uzumaki were a clan in Konoha now, and nothing but another Uchiha Itachi could change that. That didn't necessarily have to dictate that they deserved a position on the small council.

Hiashi admitted defeat and resigned himself to losing out on a quiet night at home. It was his duty to be impartial, or as close to it as possible. Part of that responsibility was taking it upon himself to be familiar with the issues he passed judgment on. Shikaku had invited him to dialogue with the Ino-Shika-Chou alliance and an elder who could hopefully parse through the convoluted logic that had meandered about the large council.

Danzo-sama had even been on the commission where the idea had originally been brought up, making him a perfect resource. He was also one of the few elders who had been involved in the diplomatic dealings with Uzushiogakure in years past. If anyone had an unbiased perspective, it was him.

He hid his resentment about the abrupt summons to a meeting, and hurried as best as he could. Still, he found that he was the last to arrive at the privately reserved room in the back of a downtown restaurant. Well. The last of the clan heads, in any case. They waited in silence for Danzo-sama to arrive.

When they were all assembled, it was with a sense of palpable relief that Hiashi accepted the tea the hostess poured and enjoyed the steam for a few quiet moments. She lit a few candles before closing the door behind her, but he had already changed focus. This was his favorite part of any of these otherwise superfluous meetings. Sitting down with an Akimichi guaranteed excellent tea.

"Thank you for your invitation," Danzo-sama wheezed, cupping his drink lightly. Hiashi took a moment to wincingly hope that he never became so infirm that his fingers ached when he tried to bend them to pick up something as simple as a cup.

Inoichi nodded gravely. "Inuzuka Tsume has already expressed her position, but we hoped to gain the benefit of your perspective before we bring the motion to a vote. Do you have an opinion? It is undeniable that the Uzumaki is an old clan, but it has never been recognized as a clan in Konoha before now. It seems hasty to immediately elevate them to the same administrative status as a clan that has been here since the year of the Shodaime."

His fingers shook a little as he laboriously set down his cup to fold his hands in his lap. Danzo-sama was impossible to read. "I disagree. The Uzumaki were recognized as a clan within Konoha when our alliance with Uzushiogakure was first stabilized with the marriage of Uzumaki Mito to one of our own. If they were not a clan in the eyes of our forefathers, that would..." He frowned slightly, and cleared his throat. His eyes were blinking gummily. "not have been arranged," Danzo-sama finished with a slight wheeze. His face was reddening. "I believe that if we are to respect what our founders and tradition dictate, it is nec.." He coughed wetly.

Alarmed, Hiashi sought to meet eye contact with his peers. He knew immediately that something was wrong. All three of them were steadily watching the elder shake and cough with calm, hard eyes.

"What is the meaning of this!" Hiashi stood, demanding an explanation. Danzo slumped face-forward onto the table, clearly unconscious.

"Peace, friend." Akimichi Choza raised his hands and broke his gaze to make eye contact with Hiashi. "All will be clear."

"We need to get a medic," he snapped back, aghast at their lack of professionalism. Unless... They had poisoned him? Had the drink been-

"You will be fine," Inoichi murmured, as if he knew where Hiashi's mind had gone. "The antidote was in the tea. He never drinks the tea." The blond calmly moved to blow out the candles, but didn't crack the door open.

The situation was beginning to make an awful kind of sense. "This was an ambush," Hiashi muttered, eyes on the unconscious man who was clearly struggling to breathe. "Why?"

"High treason." Shikaku's voice was distant, but his expression tight. "Maintaining a private militia and ordering the execution of several hundred of Konoha's citizens."

Hiashi slowly sat back down. He didn't want to advocate for the man before he had heard the evidence against Danzo. Those charges were serious. It became clear that this had all been planned to perfection when Inoichi took up the alarm as soon as the wax had dried in the poisoned candles to hide that evidence and they were quietly switched out for identical, partially burnt candles in Choza's hip pouch.

"Get the Hokage!" Inoichi bellowed, a moment before he tossed open the door into the quickly panicked restaurant. "Is there a medic in the building? Councilor Danzo has had a heart attack!"

He cynically wondered if it had been _intentionally contrived_ that there was not a single iryo-nin within the premises, but played his part to perfection. If Tsunade was being summoned, than this probably was her operation. They were close enough that she came bustling in, an ANBU operative hot on her heels, only a few minutes later. Her face was convincingly concerned as she checked his vitals while Choza forced the gawkers whispering worriedly to back out and give them room.

"I need to get him to the hospital," Tsunade eventually decided. "Could I get you gentlemen- yes, thank you." Hiashi trailed behind as Inoichi carefully carried Danzo and the other two cleared a path through the crowd. They did indeed take Danzo to the hospital—and down a series of pathways that were not cleared for the public. The reason for that became clear when they re-emerged in the intelligence department. Danzo was unceremoniously dropped onto the cot of one of the reinforced stalls within, the show of concern gone from Tsunade's face.

"Hiashi, I need your eyes," she commanded briskly. "Look for any unusual variations in his tenketsu. He's known to use seals, which could cause complications. I need to know if we're going to run into any problems."

Obediently, he turned his activated eyes on one of the most respected men in Konoha, and became very still.

After a moment, Tsunade irritably prompted, "Well?"

His voice was a little strained. "By any chance, were the Konoha citizens he ordered executed Uchiha?"

The other four exchanged looks of varying confusion and trepidation. Hiashi chose to explain by action. "May I borrow that kunai, Nara-sama? Thank you." Tsunade stopped Choza's question with a raised hand and pursed lips as Hiashi delicately cut through the yards of bandage meticulously wrapped around Danzo's right arm to reveal what he had already seen.

It was a little gratifying to see the other three clan heads turn green after they had thrown him so far off balance earlier in the day. Tsunade sucked in air violently through her teeth when the first bulbous protrusion in Danzo's flesh became visible—pale skin slit through from one side to the other. Hiashi distastefully placed a finger on one to push the lid upwards and expose the activated Sharingan underneath. It stared up at them accusingly, red and swollen.

"I imagine that his chakra expenditure when these are exposed is considerably worse than what Hatake Kakashi is infamous for," Hiashi said dryly. "There is one more in his actual eye socket, and…" Here he trailed off uncertainly, eyes focused, though on what it was impossible to tell. That was the problem with trying to follow the gaze of someone without a pupil. Eventually, he finished, "There is another source of foreign genetic material in his chest, but I am not familiar with it. Perhaps it would become clearer if we could see it unexposed. I am not as familiar with the chakra type I am seeing here as I am with the signature of an activated Sharingan. There also appears to be one seal, but I cannot tell you any useful information about that."

Choza shook his head slowly, lip curled up in disgust. Tsunade was businesslike, however, and already stripping out of her long sleeves. "Well, it looks like it's time for some surgery," she pronounced grimly. "Hiashi, could I trouble you to stay? You other boys can leave if you would like, with my thanks. Remember that what you have seen here today is classified." She gave an unpleasant smirk. "The Councilor's medical condition is critical, and I will likely be working to save his life for hours."

"So I see," Inoichi commented dryly, giving her a dutiful nod on his way out. "Good luck. I wish the Councilor only the best."

* * *

When Kakashi stepped through the gates at twilight, it was to a subdued, but gossipy village. He immediately noticed the atmosphere, but wasn't overly interested in involving himself in the situation.

"What's happened?" Tenzou half-whispered to the Chuunin checking their papers, gesturing at the unusually solemn crowds in the marketplace visible in the distance.

' _Damnit, Tenzou,'_ Kakashi thought irritably. He didn't want to get caught up in the latest soap. He honestly tried his best to stay as far away as possible from the drama that inevitably generated when a large group of people lived in one confined area.

"Didn't you hear?" The Chuunin wasn't one that Kakashi knew. If he'd known his name, he might have reported him for the obvious glee he took in spreading gossip. Genma, shameless hooligan that he was, leaned forward to catch the overly dramatic exposition. Unfortunately, Kakashi's hearing was exquisitely perfect, and he couldn't have avoided it if he'd tried. "Councilman Shimura Danzo had a heart attack in Ryo's, and the Hokage has been locked up for hours trying to save him. That was six hours back or so."

It was as if a weight had been lifted off his chest. Even as his face contorted into solemnity, Kakashi felt like offering up a quick thanks to whatever kami wanted to welcome that wizened lunatic into the afterlife. Good. It was about time that the reptile finally stopped clinging to life. Maybe, if Danzo really did… self-consciously, he touched his tongue to the roof of his mouth and twisted it. He was a little old for optimism, but it would be nice to be rid of that.

"Hatake Kakashi and Yamato, you are to report to the Hokage's office immediately," the Chuunin's partner cut in, with an irritated glance at his unprofessional partner.

Kakashi shrugged. His mood was bright enough that he supposed he wouldn't mind going to see Tsunade right away. Maybe she would have more information.

* * *

"Good, you're here," Tsunade noted dryly when they came in through her window. Kakashi couldn't help but note that she was definitely not treating an aging Counselor. There was something odd about the office, however.

"Lay down on those stretchers."

Ah, yes. That was what he had noted was off. There were stretchers extended on the fl-

His back stiffened. Wait, what?

Tsunade finally looked up. Her expression wasn't especially kind. "I have reason to believe that you two have seals that may cause problems in the coming days. They need to be examined. Lay down, shut up, and maybe when I'm done I'll be so tired that I won't shake you until the fluff comes out of your ears, you wretched imbeciles."

Sullenly and shocked, Kakashi and Tenzou did as they were told.

"Don't panic now, but you're going to have to be out for the procedure," Tsunade said grimly, pulling—oh god, what kind of medieval torture device was that? Was she going to cut out their tongues? Protectively, Kakashi pushed it to the roof of his mouth for a moment, about to leap out the window and make a break for it.

His conscience stopped him. If his Hokage preferred him as a mute, then at least she thought he was loyal. Better to be even further broken and continue to serve Konoha than to save his vanity. On the bright side, his hands were whole and he could communicate with anyone above Chuunin in Konoha's secondary sign languages. He'd answered Gai's obscene yodeling challenges for the last time. He'd never accidentally make an embarrassing squeal again when he got to a really excellent part of Icha Icha, either. It wouldn't be so bad.

How pathetic was it that he was unsuccessfully reassuring himself?

His heart was pumping unpleasantly in his chest as she approached, a foreign blade in hand. He could swear he saw a hint of sympathy in Tsunade's eyes, but her free hand reached for his temples nonetheless with a hum of green light.

"It's for your own good," was the last thing he heard before he was out like a light.


	91. Chapter 91

The scene I mentioned last chapter is no longer the first scene. And it's no longer that funny, because the tone no longer fit the chapter. Shows what I get for talking about things before they're done, I suppose.

Several hours prior to the last scene (DIRECTLY after the fifth-to-last scene, if looking back helps you more than context).

* * *

Tsunade's day between 12:23pm and 6:57pm

As the door shut behind a sullen Sasuke, garden party invitations in hand, she blew a bit of hair out of her face and settled in to think.

' _What needs to be my next course of action? Assuming Choza succeeds, I just need to be in my office when the alert goes out so that I'm the medic who sees him. But if something's gone wrong…'_

She puckered her lips into a pout and cleared off her desk while she worked, mindlessly filing away a letter from the Raikage in with her tax information.

' _If something has gone wrong, and Danzo knows I'm onto him, I have two main concerns. First is what Danzo will do about potential traitors. The boy in the intelligence department is at the most risk, but if he suspects anyone else, they would be in danger as well. If Sai was telling the truth about Root procedure, Danzo will immediately delegate his execution. That means I need to have the department cleared of any possible bystanders, since he won't be sending Genin and Chuunin, and I need to have an elite guard I can trust on Sai.'_

Well, the answer for that was obvious.

She strode out the door and bent to talk to Keiko in low tones. By this point, the secretary couldn't be surprised by any number of strange and sudden orders, so she merely took down a high-priority D-class mission and three notes and left to delegate to the appropriate parties.

One note would be going to Shizune to tell her to keep her position on Sai as a guard until further notice; one note would be going to the same department ordering them to clear out immediately until further notice, and one note would be going to the front gate ordering an immediate report to her office when a team came in.

Aiko positively had to have been involved in Sai's break with Root. She couldn't think of any other reason that he would think it important enough to mention that he suspected Kakashi and Yamato had both defected from Root at some point. It was more than a bit convenient that this whole kerfuffle had started several hours before those two were due to return to the village. Aiko thought it was important that they were present for some reason. If they were close to her, she might have time to act when she found out why.

' _And hell, it might explain why we need Konohamaru involved.'_

She sincerely hoped that Aiko wasn't just fucking with her head at this point, because she couldn't see the connection.

Thoughts of just how long she would be hanging an Uzumaki upside down by her toes from the Hokage monument if this was a practical joke were interrupted by the zing of a frantic chakra signature on course for her office.

' _I don't think I have ever been as impressed by Choza as I am now,'_ Tsunade noted with satisfaction at 2:48 pm an instant before her window was flung open. She wiped a look of mild exasperation onto her features—and then traded it out for shock when a pink-faced genin breathing harshly bit out that she was needed urgently to treat Councilman Shimura Danzo.

She overtook him on the roofs, practically flying with Boar a steady presence at her left shoulder, genuinely hustling. It was important that she get there before any other medic, after all. Surely Hiashi, if no one else, could think to stall by snootily insisting that only the best medic was appropriate to treat Danzo, but the idea of letting anyone else see the initially obvious symptoms of a respiratory toxin was untenable.

As much as it burned her up inside, there was no way to publically disgrace that rotten bastard without causing internal conflict. Konoha couldn't afford division right now, and they certainly couldn't afford for people to rightfully fear their leadership. Tsunade would never do anything like what Danzo had ordered, but that wouldn't matter to everyone who had never met either shinobi personally. That was most of the villagers. Publically vilifying Danzo would drag Sensei's reputation through the mud as well, and hers would be tarnished by association.

That was why he was going to be languishing in a condition so critical that he couldn't receive visitors while she desperately worked to save him until he eventually passed on. She would have to bite her tongue through a sad ceremony mourning his passing, but at least he would be unable to cause any more problems, if he was adequately handled.

Now the largest concern was wringing as much information out of him that she could, and working to make sure his band of merry idiots didn't cause any problems. Hopefully, they wouldn't even know anything was wrong to contradict the public story. The elderly got ill, after all. It wasn't impossible. Poor Danzo was so paranoid and insistent that he was hale and hearty that he had not been in the hospital for over ten years. Risky behavior, that.

He had probably been treated by a personal medic within his root, but there wouldn't be any records for those treatments to contradict her story that he must have just had a creeping condition he hadn't known about.

Still, if she could get that medic, it would make her life a little easier. There had to have been _someone_ , and that person would know to mobilize Root regardless of any other potential information leaks that Tsunade couldn't see.

' _Awfully convenient for us that he's such a paranoid coot,'_ Tsunade thought, hefting his weight up after making a show of examining the coot in question. She deposited him into Inoichi's arms. He shot a questioning look for an instant, but wiped it away in favor of concern and helped her cut back across town. Hiashi was at their back, Choza to the right, and Shikaku to the left while Boar pushed apart a path directly in front of them through the gathered crowd.

About fifteen minutes later, she had to reconsider her previous assessment. Danzo wasn't just a paranoid old coot, he was justifiably insane. On the other hand, at least now she knew why he didn't visit the hospital.

The first part of the surgery was a simple matter of excising the human eyes implanted in Danzo's arms, connected to strange black veins that were definitely an augmentation of some kind. Tsunade had seen some bizarre and unpleasant things in her medical career, but this still made her a little queasy. At least it was simple. She had no interest in wasting a large amount of her chakra regenerating skin and muscle he had already adapted to function without, so instead grew a layer of scab over the gross indentations in his right arm. The pain would be excruciating when and if she allowed him to wake up, of course.

Knowing that still wasn't quite enough satisfaction when she tugged the right side of his robe down to see the aberration Hiashi had mentioned on Danzo's shoulder and upper chest. Tsunade stared. The face of her grandfather stared back, wrought grotesquely out of a white substance that was probably some form of his unique bloodline.

At that point, Hiashi was the only other person still present other than her silent guard. The thought of him knowing that she lost her temper completely at a distressing sight was the only thing that stopped her from twisting Danzo's head off like a bottle cap and flinging it at the wall.

Wasn't it _enough_ that she now had ten Sharingan eyes sitting in glass bottles on the side table, and one left in Danzo's eye socket to take? What madness was this?

Her fingers were shaking in her fury, she dimly noticed. It would be impossible to perform any sort of surgery or make an intelligent decision in that state. So she calmly closed her eyes and briefly meditated. She tried not to notice the look of pity on Hiashi's face when she opened them again.

"Well, depending on how deeply embedded this is, he's probably going to die of shock," Tsunade grimly noted, steeling herself to run her fingers over the pain-wracked face studding Danzo's arm.

"What are the chances that he will survive long enough for interrogation?"

She couldn't help but notice that there was no trace of the former trepidation in the Hyuuga's expression. She had thought that his sympathies would be aroused by an instance of someone wronging one of Konoha's clans. It was a bittersweet thing to note that bloodline theft was even more of a trigger issue for Hiashi.

"Perhaps thirty percent?" she guessed wryly, switching out her latex gloves for another pair.

This surgery was much more difficult. Her grandfather's face was attached all the way to Danzo's bone, the hard white substance curling around his marrow from elbow to shoulder. It might have just been easier to lop off his arm, but that wouldn't pass muster in an open casket funeral. In order to avoid any appearance or accusation of foul play, they couldn't afford anything suspicious like not allowing the public to see the body. The gaping holes would have to be packed with gauze, but Danzo's habit of wrapping himself in bandage would make it easier to hide what had been done.

Sweat was forming on her forehead by the time she was done with that, but she couldn't allow herself to stop just yet. There was still one more Sharingan. The one with a place of honor in his own skull had probably been trained with extensively, and Danzo was a wily old fucker. If he had any tools at all at his disposal, he might escape to tell tales about poison, kidnapping, and brutality at her hands. She absolutely could not afford for him to escape or be rescued.

Actually.

"Hiashi-san, could I trouble you to trade places with my apprentice? Shizune-chan is in the next hallway over, monitoring the root defector who made this possible. I anticipate that there will be an attempt to silence him."

Under her supervision, Shizune performed the last extraction and carefully preserved the specimen with cool professionalism. Tsunade had moved to examine the oversized seal spiraling across Danzo's concave chest while Shizune worked, and had come to a conclusion.

' _I have no idea what this is for, but it probably isn't good news. Does this link him to his operatives, possibly? Can he remotely contact them? Is it a way for him to control them at a distance?'_

Tsunade was already thinking of what she had to do next when her apprentice spoke up.

"I have a note for you, Tsunade-sama."

She furrowed her brow questioningly at her apprentice, but received only a polite smile that usually meant Shizune was hiding her thoughts. So she unfolded the single piece of paper. It took only a moment to read.

' _Aiko needs to meet with me alone? …Wait, she's in the interrogation department?'_

Granted, it was a large department. It had been cleared of workers, which made it seem even emptier. The prisoners were still present, of course, but none of them would be in any condition to note what was going on or escape even if the cells hadn't intentionally scattered across the facility so that there could be no collusion. But it was still mildly impressive that she hadn't noticed another human being in the area, no matter her level of distraction.

Sneaky little shit. As strange and vaguely unsettling as it was to find that the girl had already slipped in to pass a note to Shizune without her notice, she couldn't afford to put it off.

"Shizune-chan, relieve Hiashi and return to your post. Tell him that he may leave. Boar-san, consider yourself dismissed for the day as well."

There was no point in dragging him further into this nasty Root business. Her spy had specified that the meeting be alone, so this was probably something ugly or important.

Aiko slipped into the sealed interrogation chamber attached to the cell where Tsunade had performed surgery about two minutes after the others had left. Tsunade only knew because she was mourning the loss of an entire work day—it was 5:05. She had spent a good two hours working on Danzo. Glaring at him through the one- way mirror made her feel a little better.

This was the first time she had seen Aiko in what she assumed to be the Root variation on the ANBU uniform. The blank mask was expected. The black wig that washed her out to look like a kabuki ghost was not. Creepy.

Tsunade hid her discomfort behind a veneer of mild irritation. "Well, what is it you need to talk about?"

She was already feeling stressed and flustered, so Tsunade had to grit her teeth when Aiko's only response was to stick her tongue out and point at the seal that was definitely still present… and then fished her left glove off with her teeth to display an identical seal on the back of her palm. At her blank expression, the teen shook her hand slightly, as if that would somehow clear things up.

Frankly, she was a bit confused. Aiko wouldn't be winning any charades tournaments any time soon. Really, what the hell was that supposed to mean? Compare the two? Look what I can color?

That reminded her. "Danzo has a seal on his chest," Tsunade briskly informed the girl. From the blank look on her face, that wasn't ringing any bells. Well, damn. She'd hoped. "I examined it, but it means nothing to me."

That seemed to firm some resolve in the set of Aiko's jaw. The response was a non-sequitur, though.

"We should go visit Sai."

That declaration didn't clear up anything at all, but she followed along. Shizune gave them an inscrutable look when she saw the two of them approach up the hall, but Sai strode up to the bars and gave them one of those disconcerting smiles.

Aiko turned her face up to blink at Tsunade. "May I have a few moments alone with him? We need to discuss some things."

That was the last straw. She felt her face turning pink with frustration.

"What the hell is going on?"

The boy was the one to answer. "She cannot tell you, without removing that seal," he pointed out pleasantly. "If she were to remove her own seal, it would be readily apparent to an observer that it had been tampered with. But if she were to put mine back on me, we could communicate. Then I could be unsealed again and relay whatever information she has to you."

She stared blankly for a moment. "This is all unnecessarily stupid and convoluted," she sighed, pushing her bangs back. Then she shrugged carelessly and turned away. "Fine. Make it quick." She and Shizune walked down to the end of the hall just out of hearing distance to wait.

It _was_ quick—Aiko left the cell about four minutes later without a word to either of them, gave Tsunade a nod, and then left in a blur of Hiraishin.

"I trust that this weirdness will be explained?" Shizune asked tiredly, striding up to peer back into Sai's once again locked cell.

"Aiko-chan believes that Danzo-sama will have some precaution in place in case of the event of his capture," Sai relayed calmly.

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "We already know that," she pointed out without bothering to hide her exasperation.

A flicker of irritation passed in those dark eyes. His voice as was still as ever, however, when Sai continued. "She intends to present herself to him as an ally and gain his confidence in an attempt to discern what hidden danger he has only hinted at in his orders to Root operatives."

She buried her face in her hands. "Great," she muttered thickly. "Just great. Is that what she is doing now?"

He merely shook his head no. Apparently he didn't think she needed more of an answer to that.

"Right… Shizune, get a spare mask from storage. He'll be replacing Boar in my office so we know where he is." She turned a firm expression on Shizune. "I want you posted on Danzo. If Aiko comes, make it convincing. If anyone else comes, kill them."

Her apprentice nodded placidly and hurried off to fetch the equipment while Tsunade unlocked the cell with the root ANBU in it. "Mind, I hardly trust you," she pointed out dryly. The boy didn't seem troubled.

"I understand," he agreed readily, stepping out as if the hour he'd spent in processing and the three and a half staring at the wall of a cell hadn't fazed him one bit. Perhaps they hadn't.

They left Shizune outside Danzo's cell after ensuring that he was still unconscious. At this point, it was possible that he could be woken up. She didn't bother to dose him again. If she did, he might die before he woke up, and they wouldn't be getting any information out of his whatsoever. Instead, she had chakra inhibiting cuffs attached to his wrists and ankles. It seemed overkill – what danger could he possibly pose at this point?—but better to be cautious than regretful.

"Tsunade-sama, Konohamaru-kun and his squad delivered the… items you asked for," Keiko informed her as soon as she strode through the door.

Tsunade was almost proud of her for saying that with a straight face. "Thank you," she nodded regally to her secretary, before bending to scoop up the two boxes. She tucked them under her desk out of sight, and settled in to wait. As far as the public was concerned, at this point, she had stabilized Danzo and Shizune had taken over his medical care. She couldn't be expected to sit at his bedside all day, after all.

She may as well have waited downstairs, however. It wasn't for another two hours at 6:57 that anyone showed up again, though she did get a couple of messengers.

* * *

Aiko's day, after Danzo hurriedly left

' _I don't know how she did it in such short time, but Tsunade is amazing.'_

Of course, the Hokage's actions did complicate things. In order for the story currently circulating to pass muster, Danzo had to die relatively quickly.

Downtown was an absolute mess. You would think that people had better things to do than gossip, but it was apparently news when one of the most respected figures in the village collapsed in a teahouse and had to be carted off by the Hokage and four clan heads. When Aiko had passed by in uniform, she had gotten subsumed into crowd control duty and had plenty of opportunity to overhear enough to piece together her own theory.

It would be far too convenient for Danzo to have just dropped dead. The idea that Tsunade had already had a plan in place to take Danzo into custody made much more sense. She had just needed an opportunity, which Aiko had inadvertently provided.

Of course, this pretty much scuppered Aiko's own plans. Was Danzo really dead? Was he going to die soon? What about the possibility that his death would mean the death of every sealed root agent? It would be an insane precaution, but less mad than creating a subversive organization and letting them disperse as they would after the death of their commander. Danzo had clearly overdosed on crazy flakes at some point, but he was loyal to Konoha in his own way. He would see that Root –essentially a domestic terrorist organization— would become a liability without a strong head.

If Aiko had been in charge, she would have solved that problem by having a clear chain of command and replacement head ready, but that was because she wasn't dangerously crazy and paranoid.

Well. At least not compared to Danzo.

In any case, the public opinion that had clearly been purposefully engineered was a pretty good hint as to how Tsunade wanted to handle this. She wasn't going to be making the Uchiha massacre's truth public at the moment, for whatever reason.

It didn't matter to Aiko, frankly. Such a smooth and admirably underhanded way of taking Danzo in custody while getting lauded for it was a better outcome than she'd even hoped for.

Apparently, she should have had more faith in Tsunade, but she had thought that the struggle of the day would be two-fold: First, Danzo would move to eliminate the leak, which he should have found out was Sai after Boar got off his shift and was meant to be replaced by Aiko. (As galling as it had been to ensure that Danzo would be informed on the same day that Sai squealed, it had seemed riskier to send Sai in on another shift when she didn't know if any more of Tsunade's inner circle were compromised. That would stupidly deprive her of the upper hand: information control. The devil you knew was better than the one you didn't, after all).

The second issue would be that Danzo would have to eliminate or deal with anyone of Tsunade's people who knew about what Sai had communicated. He would have Boar on hand to tell him exactly what Tsunade had done in that time period, so it would have been tricky and nasty to counter him.

She still wasn't sure if she thought that he would attempt to hypnotize Tsunade to rule from the shadows or just kill and replace her as Hokage. He could have been planning to do something similar to what Tsunade had done to him: make her death look like an accident, illness, or even pin the blame on someone else he needed out of the way.

' _Doesn't matter anymore,'_ she sighed, making her way to the main administration building. _'Danzo himself is probably neutralized as a threat, as long as the intelligence people do their jobs and Tsunade notices the eyeballs in his arm. All we have to do is keep him from getting back-up'._ No one blinked twice at an ANBU flickering inside and making her way to one of the secured entrances to the Intelligence department at 3:16pm, even if her mask was blank and her uniform wasn't quite standard even without factoring in that she'd kept her regular footwear. That was how new recruits or agents who broke their masks sometimes had to go around, after all. Outsiders wouldn't know the difference.

She was sure that Tsunade would probably have brought Danzo there, but Sai _definitely_ was ensconced inside. She should check in on him before she did anything else to assess the situation and see that he was safe. He was a major target now, after all.

Her own plan was pretty well shot, or at least needed severe revision. That was fine. She thought well on her feet, and the large issues she had already identified were probably still relevant, even if she should expect the players to act differently.

But she didn't find Tsunade near Sai. That was a mixed blessing, since she didn't want Boar to know that she was working against Root. She did nearly get skewered by Shizune, however.

Aiko skittered backwards away from a brace of senbon and dropped to her knees to avoid a purple fog of poison breath. Talk about trigger-happy.

It wasn't the most intuitive action when faced by someone who was attacking her, but Aiko yanked up her mask and showed her empty palms.

Shizune looked unpleasantly surprised. "What are you doing here?" she hissed, slipping her weapons away and pulling up to her full height. "Tsunade-sama ordered this area cleared."

"Is she with Danzo?" Aiko asked, mildly curious. The shock on Shizune's face was answer enough. "Right, can you pass her a message for me? Don't say it's from me," she clarified distractedly, rifling in her hip pouch for a pen and paper that didn't have a seal on it. "I'll sign it so she knows it's from me, but I don't want anyone else knowing…"

"I can do that," Shizune confirmed bemusedly, watching her press the paper against the wall and scrawl out a short, thoroughly uninspired missive.

"Great, thank you," she breathed, folding the paper twice and then handing it over. "Hey, Sai."

"Hello, Aiko," he replied calmly.

Something twitched in Shizune's eye. "Are you going to ask why he's in an Interrogation cell?" she asked a bit testily.

Aiko shook her head. "No, I think I'm good. I'll see you two later."

Tsunade obviously hadn't had Danzo in her custody very long, and removing the line of eyeballs in his flesh was going to take some time. Aiko was going to have to hurry, but she'd have time for one of her most critical errands. She took a moment to pat herself down, checking her equipment once more. It all looked good, so she gave the two watching a curt nod and tugged on the Hiraishin seal planted in the underground city of access tunnels used by root.

She'd almost expected that Danzo or someone would have found it. It was only about a mile and a half away from the entrance that led directly into his home, after all. What a security flaw, on both parts. Missing a seal like that was almost as irresponsible as sacrificing safety in favor of convenient access to his meeting rooms through his home.

Root was an organization of individuals. They did not have teams in the standard sense. Occasionally, Danzo would organize a group for a specific mission, but they would not bond by any means or spend time together socially.

That meant that Danzo was the only person holding them together, and it was the way he liked things. It was classic counter-infiltration to ensure that no one traitor could devastate your numbers by giving out a list of members.

It wasn't good news for poor distressed Boar, who would know that he couldn't rescue Danzo on his own (or else he would have tried already) but had very few options as to contacting reinforcements. The only place that could generally be counted on to have a root presence was Danzo's own home, where he definitely did not want outsiders snooping unobserved. That would be where Boar went as soon as he was dismissed from Tsunade's presence and could leave without arousing suspicion.

Both entrances to Danzo's home were always guarded. That meant that he could have just two Root members posted even when he was gone without them ever being entirely sure he had really left. They were far enough apart—one in the entrance hall, and one posted underground—that they could not communicate and when he left through one door, the ROOT ANBU at the other wouldn't know.

It pretty well ensured that a spy wouldn't be comfortable rifling through his home even when posted there, because it would be nearly impossible to tell if he was just doing another paranoid doubling back through his house to see if you were doing your job right.

' _Does make my job easy, though.'_ Aiko didn't bother to nod or react to the tall woman standing silently at the bottom of the spiraling steps cut out of clay that would lead up to the aboveground portion of the house. That would have been more suspicious than anything.

Instead, she walked past her as if Aiko belonged and then whipped around to sink a kunai into the back of the guard's upper neck. If she kept it planted up to the hilt into the brainstem, it would be an instant kill and she could flicker away with the corpse before blood was spilled.

It didn't work—the woman stepped forward just in time and turned to face Aiko, already drawing the short sword off of her back.

Aiko just about rolled her eyes. In this confined space, really? She wanted a swordfight in a dinky little hallway?

' _Must really not be a taijutsu specialist. All the more convenient for me, I suppose.'_

She rolled her kunai to her left palm and deflected the first downward blow with it, pushing the longer blade to the outside. Her right hand dug into her equipment pouch for the first of the paralysis tags she had prepared ahead of time. Aiko didn't have time to use it before her opponent whipped her sword back and levered it forward in a quick slashing motion.

Convention dictated that Aiko should have stepped backward to avoid it. She didn't. Aiko bent her knees and ducked even as she quick-stepped to the left, where the blow had begun high and was slashing across and down. Her opponent didn't have time to correct the trajectory before Aiko swung inward and slammed the paper against the first thing she could touch. Low to the ground as she was, that ended up being a slapping motion across the other woman's right thigh.

She dropped like a rock.

That wouldn't last, of course. Paralysis seals could be overcome with practice or determination: they were mostly good as a shock tactic. The sword was still clattering to the floor when Aiko bent, palmed her opponent's temples, and twisted her head around.

The whole point had been ensuring a bloodless kill. She couldn't be certain which entrance Boar would take, but she did know that if he saw signs of foul play, he wouldn't enter.

Ironically, the situation reminded her of the conversation she had first had with Boar when he had begun feeling her out as a potential recruit. At the time, she'd said that it was less cruel to just kill people than it was to take them into custody and let them be someone else's problem. Making someone suffer for years because it was easier on your conscience was cowardly.

Still a little appealing, though.

Aiko let go, and her opponent's upper torso slumped stiffly to the floor, head colliding against the limestone with a soft thud. She crossed to the other side to grab the corpse by the ankles, and momentarily mused that she'd never thought Hiraishin would be so useful for hiding bodies. A pile of ashes and the scent of burnt flesh would raise alarms anywhere within Konoha. But fifteen miles out in the forest, it was unlikely anyone would happen upon the remains before they scattered and the stench of death fled.

The second guard was less alert.

She made her way back to the Intelligence department through their main office this time (and was privately baffled that it had merely been locked. Shizune had said that Tsunade had emptied the department, but dismissing the guards as well seemed a bit excessive).

This time, she did not make her presence known when she crept in the direction of where she had seen Shizune and Sai.

And was confused.

' _What the hell is Hyuuga-san doing here?'_

He didn't seem entirely certain as to why he was present either. Aiko crept backwards and lingered uncertainly, craning her neck to try to gauge Sai's body language to see if he felt threatened.

' _It's probably fine. Danzo does not have the head of a clan in root. But still… maybe I should see what's going on.'_

Aiko backed away and silently picked through the facility. She didn't know it that well, to be frank, but she found her way around well enough that she wouldn't get lost. A half an hour of wandering was enough to discover the locations of three different prisoners, one of whom was behind a sealed door but probably Danzo, judging by the fact that there were faint noises coming from the room that indicated multiple people were inside.

Him she left alone. If he knew she'd seen him and hadn't tried to help, he would know she was a traitor.

The other two she marked as possible witnesses or problems. She didn't see a way to take Danzo out without passing by one of them, although to be fair there probably was a route she didn't know.

Two familiar chakra signatures flickered into notice as the muffling door opened. Startled, Aiko flickered back a hallway, and peered out to see Shizune and a tall ANBU who had to be Boar leaving. That left Tsunade unaccounted for. Was this her chance to speak to her alone?

She shut the door behind her quietly, and tugged her mask off. Aiko still had to keep her features blank, because Tsunade probably would not appreciate being nonverbally informed that she looked positively dreadful. The conversation that followed proved that Hokage was testy too, and not any good at charades. Aiko fought not to roll her eyes at the poorly hidden irritation when she gave up on explaining anything to Tsunade directly. Brilliant she might be, but she wasn't at her best right now.

It would probably be for the best if she communicated as concisely as possible. Even if Boar sprinted all the way across town, it would take him perhaps ten minutes to reach Danzo's home by either route. And the seal she had on him from that team practice so long ago was indicating that he was still attempting to keep cover by acting naturally.

That need for hurry would be no excuse for sloppiness here, however. It wasn't perfect, but the only way Aiko could think of to make sure Tsunade got updated properly was through using Sai as a medium. His seal was already contaminated with her chakra, but hers was purely Danzo's. She didn't know if he had a way to check the seal's purity, but it would be a stupid risk. Sai's seal was still something like 85% Danzo's essence and his design, so it should work to let them communicate.

' _Weird that a few eyeballs would really mess with her head this much, though,'_ Aiko mused, rustling purposefully toward the only guarded cell she'd identified in her forays through the detention center. _'Tsunade looks like she's completely worn ragged.'_

As soon as the older kunoichi gave them enough distance, she gave Sai an apologetic shrug and held out the hand with the seal she'd stripped from him that morning. He allowed himself to make a slight grimace, but obediently opened his mouth.

"Sorry about this," she mumbled, lifting it off her skin and pressing the construction to his tongue (in a more accessible position than Danzo had used). It eagerly latched onto him again. He blinked furiously, eyes watering a little, but eventually managed,

"I understand. Has something gone wrong?"

Aiko winced a little. He sounded like he had a bad head cold. Luckily, that seemed to become less pronounced as they talked.

"I don't know if it's wrong, exactly, but Tsunade didn't do what we expected at all," she grimly shared, running a hand through her hair (even though it was a wig). His eyes sharpened, so she clarified, "She must have already been prepared to take him in, because she had Danzo in custody under the guise of providing medical assistance after he collapsed in public something like an hour and a half after you were going to report to her."

There was a hint of a question in that. "My appointment was pushed up, and I did not feel it was wise to attempt to explain to the secretary that the timing was crucial," Sai explained without a hint of apology. "I instead attempted to draw out the meeting as long as possible by providing superfluous information, but Hokage-sama decided that she would prefer testimony that had been influenced by Ibiki-san. However, not long after I was brought here, he was ordered to leave and I was left under guard."

Aiko merely nodded. "Okay, I see. Well, now we hardly have to worry about fighting Danzo, but I think Tsunade just dismissed Boar. Since he knows he can't report to Danzo…"

"He will attempt to destroy evidence of his actions or acquire back up for a retrieval mission," Sai suggested.

She stared for a moment. "You know, I honestly hadn't thought about that first option," Aiko confessed sheepishly. "I was thinking in terms that assumed Danzo's life would be Boar's first concern, not his reputation."

"If Hokage-sama has had him in custody, no doubt she discovered the eye under his bandages." Sai seemed to shrug slightly. "The visceral reaction when she realized what he had done may well have caused her to become set on his death. Boar may know Danzo's death is inevitable due to poison or Tsunade's direct actions while he was in her custody. If that is the case, he will know such retrieval would be without purpose."

"Right." Aiko sighed, vexed. "Either way, there's only one response."

Sai nodded. "I take it that I should share your theory about the dangers of letting Danzo die before the seal has been removed from your person?"

"Yes, please," Aiko confirmed dryly. "And for-"

"Kakashi-senpai and Yamato, I am aware," he cut her off.

Playfully, she rolled her eyes at him. "Smartass. Is that it, you think?" At his nod, she snapped her fingers, silently ordering him to open his mouth again and braced herself for that awful stinging sensation on the back of her hand. The second seal didn't really do anything to her- it was meant to primarily affect speech, and being so far away from her mouth reduced its effectiveness. But it still stung. As soon as she had stowed Sai's seal away, she silently inclined her head to the rather testy looking Hokage at the end of the hallway and took a moment to evaluate just how close together the seal humming on Boar and the one below Danzo's home were.

Close enough, she determined.

' _Today is turning out to be a stupidly long day,'_ she noted a little mournfully, tugging herself through Konoha to that same spiraling staircase where she had murdered an unsuspecting Chuunin level shinobi guarding Danzo's home earlier that day.

The fact that what she had done didn't disturb her made Aiko feel a bit uncomfortable, ironically. Shouldn't she feel something about sacrificing someone who had been systematically taught to adhere to a certain standard of behavior? That woman hadn't been from an enemy nation, and probably hadn't been a bad person. She'd just been in the way, and the man at the front door hadn't been any more deserving.

She caught where her thoughts were going, and snorted. It lacked any amusement.

' _I'm having second thoughts about killing Boar,_ ' Aiko realized, a little irritated with her own folly. She knew perfectly well why it was necessary. From a logical standpoint, he couldn't be allowed to live if she wanted to protect her own interests: ending Root as a problem, keeping Fukiko safe and Sasuke happy, among other things. He knew far too much, and could mobilize Root.

Aiko wasn't going to lie to herself that he was a bad man and that was why she was going to put him down. Boar… no, he was just someone who genuinely felt that Tsunade wasn't capable of doing what needed to be done to protect Konoha. Dissent wasn't a crime worth death.

Nor would she allow herself the pleasant delusion that Danzo's followers weren't really people to make this easier. That was Danzo's mistake: treating his soldiers as polished automatons and outsiders as subhuman enemies not deserving of consideration. Boar was a human being whose life had value beyond what use could be drawn from him. He deserved to live.

' _Maybe the fact that I recognize that makes this even worse. I know that what I do is awful, and I don't lose any sleep over it.'_

Well, that was why Tsunade talked about 'healthy' compartmentalization being a requirement for ANBU members, she supposed. Aiko just couldn't be the same person she was off the clock when dealing with threats to national security. There was a reason operations like this were hidden from public knowledge.

A bit melancholy, she traced her fingers along the wall as she stepped up towards the house. Second-guessing herself was pointless. Aiko would soak Konoha in a river of blood if it kept the few people she cared about safe and happy, and she knew that perfectly well.

There was no point in trying to be someone she wasn't. Aiko was the type of person who would ambush a teammate of over a year when he ran to the closest thing Root had to a base for safety.

' _And the type of person who is cold enough to take advantage of the fact that Danzo's home is sound-proofed to keep Root secret,_ ' she noted wryly. Convenient that Danzo himself had made it easy to mop up his agents.

She knew Boar well enough to know that she wouldn't necessarily win a head-on fight against him. He wasn't just some random Chuunin house guard. They had sparred together for a year: he knew her weaknesses as well as she knew his.

Which was why she was going to blow him up with the seal she'd planted on him during practice. Really, she only had to be here to confirm a kill. Remotely detonating someone was all well and good if she was truly desperate, but when their unexpected survival might fuck with her ability to plan, it was critical to actually know that they were neutralized.

He came in through the front door. Aiko favored him with a silent glance, and then looked back down. Boar slowly entered the living room. Perhaps he was considering asking why she was sitting on Danzo's couch as if she owned it.

"Hello, Shou," she greeted quietly.

He pushed his mask up, exposing the grotesque burns across his face and an inquisitive expression. "Butterfly?" At her nod, relief seemed to flood his features. "Danzo-sama has been taken captive. We need..." His voice trailed off, and his eyes widened in what might be betrayal when she made no reaction.

"Goodbye, Shou," Aiko sighed, tugging violently on the explosive Hiraishin seal on her teammate. Less than an instant later, hot blood splattered across her mask and plate armor, leaving a clean outline of her body on the dripping couch.

She sat quietly for a moment.

' _Naruto would be fucking ashamed of me. Traitor or not, Shou trusted me.'_

Her first destination was her apartment, to wipe the worst of the blood off her equipment. Just looking at it made her feel ill, which was downright unprofessional but couldn't be helped. Wistfully, she checked the time: 6:51pm. Kakashi and Yamato were practically outside the village… That meant that there wasn't really time to change, but it would be a bit rude to drip all over the Hokage's office, so she did what she could.

Tsunade favored her with a short glance when she came in. As far as Aiko could tell, she didn't pick up on the scent of blood, because there was no reaction. Silently, she pushed her mask up onto the top of her head and raised an eyebrow at the two stretchers on either side of Tsunade's desk.

"Took you long enough," Tsunade said sourly. With a sigh, the older woman twisted to stare out her window. "If I'm not mistaken, that scruffy captain of yours should be back at any time now. I know that you can't talk." She trailed off a little hopefully, as if thinking that the situation might have changed in the two hours they had been apart. When Aiko just blinked at her, Tsunade puffed her cheeks out for an instant and twitched her nose. The effect was surprisingly adorable. "Great, just fantastic," she muttered resentfully, before raising her voice. "There's no reason that you can't stand there and listen to me talk, though, is there?"

Aiko gave her a small smile. That certainly was a viable information transfer strategy.

"Your co-conspirator is being watched by Maito Gai," Tsunade mused thoughtfully. Her lips barely twitched in amusement.

' _How the fuck did that happen?'_ Aiko wondered vaguely. It just sounded like there was more of a story there. No explanation was forthcoming, however.

"I do have the items you required, and I completely expect an explanation as soon as humanly possible," Tsunade continued dryly, giving her a little glare. "If you hadn't run off so quickly earlier, you would know that the situation with Danzo was far worse than anticipated. I discovered twelve instances of bloodline theft in his person."

Her confusion was real. Twelve? She'd thought there were eleven eyes.

"I removed them, and it is highly unlikely that he will survive the night." At Aiko's flinch, she seemed to shrug. "It couldn't be helped," Tsunade defended tiredly. "And at the time, I didn't know that there was a possibility that his death would have repercussions for those with his seals."

Fair enough. That just meant that she'd have to hurry.

"That means you'll have to do whatever you need to do as soon as possible." Tsunade began poking through her desk absentmindedly. She pulled out what appeared to be a bottle of glitter nail polish, a paper knife, a scalpel, and then a stale looking cookie. "I don't know how much time I can really give you. Shizune sent notice that he woke up a while ago, but-" She raised her head, suddenly alert. "Hide."

That was all Aiko needed. She darted into the ANBU alcove and held her breath, waiting to see what Tsunade had already sensed. A moment's concentration made it obvious.

' _Kakashi and Yamato didn't spend much time at the gates,'_ she mused, shuffling silently out to the very edge so that her view was as good as possible.

About four seconds later, there was a rustle at the window. It opened to admit first Kakashi, then a surprisingly curious looking Yamato.

He also had a bit of dirt smudged on his nose. D'awww.

The two had barely cleared Sasuke's houseplant jungle before Tsunade clipped out, "Good, you're here." She tilted her head forwards. "Lay down on those stretchers."

Aiko saw the exact moment that trepidation hit Kakashi like a ton of bricks. Yamato blinked trusting doe eyes at Tsunade, but Kakashi's visible gray eye was wide open in shock.

She winced, closing her eyes and biting her lower lip. Tsunade was still holding the paperknife in her fist and was gesturing with it while she talked. That didn't look good.

"I have reason to believe that you two have seals that may cause problems in the coming days. They need to be examined. Lay down, shut up, and maybe when I'm done I'll be so tired that I won't shake you until the fluff comes out of your ears, you wretched imbeciles."

' _That was a little harsh._ ' With disapproval, Aiko scanned Tsunade's expression as the two Jounin obediently hopped up onto their cots. It was… too stern, actually. She knew the older woman didn't actually blame either of them for being taken advantage of.

"Don't panic now, but you're going to have to be out for the procedure"

' _She's probably distracting them,_ ' Aiko theorized, feeling a bit melancholy. _'She doesn't want them thinking too much about what's going on. Information control, I suppose.'_

Being the reason that they were put under extra stress was unpleasant.

"It's for your own good," Tsunade cajoled, crossing the room and lighting up her palms with medical chakra to put them both to sleep.

Aiko consoled herself with the thought that it really was for their benefit. She didn't want to risk either of them for Danzo's sake.

* * *

Chronologically after the last scene of chapter 90—alternately, it took _this long_ to get caught back up?

* * *

A most unladylike snort broke the silence, and quickly turned into soft, mildly ironic laughter. "Did you _see their faces_?" Tsunade huffed as Aiko stepped out of the hidden room and aimed a disapproving look at her Hokage.

"That was just mean, Tsunade-sama," she uttered blandly, peeling off her gloves and tucking them into her hip pouch. "Why did you do that?"

The amusement slipped off her face, and the Hokage heaved a tired sigh. "Same reason I had you hide," Tsunade replied dryly, rubbing at her temple. "I think it might be for the best if we keep your involvement in taking down Root quiet. You hardly need more attention, and it'll help Sai more than it would help you to be associated with this mess. I suppose that you could tell them later that you were involved if you absolutely must, but I didn't have time to allow you to consider it. A mission like this…" She trailed off uncomfortably. "It can change the way people think about you," Tsunade finished quietly. Her eyes trailed downwards to examine Yamato, sleeping quietly.

' _Maybe it should.'_

She couldn't say the last part, so instead she said nothing. "The specimens?" Aiko asked.

The older woman seemed to latch onto the change of subject gratefully and loose a bit of her depressed air. Gravely, Tsunade reached under her desk for two small cages.

Aiko wrinkled her nose in regret for what she was about to do, but there was little choice. Danzo's curse seal was sturdy enough that she could pick it up and move it, but she couldn't dissolve it, and it wouldn't take to anything other than a living being. Otherwise, she'd just stick it to a piece of paper.

But hell, she was tired of making sacrifices of other lives today.

"Sorry bunny," Aiko apologized, turning away as she hugged the first little animal to her chest so that she didn't have to see Tsunade roll her eyes as the soft-heartedness.

There was a good possibility that Danzo's seal was rigged so that everyone who carried it died when he did, or could be remotely controlled or killed if he willed it. Or, hell, he might able to tug on the seals of the most likely traitors. Sai was already safe and she had an alibi, but Kakashi and Yamato might also come up as possibilities. Aiko was certain that they'd both left Root. They had to. It just didn't fit with what she knew of them. That assumed chain of events fit for Danzo, too. He would know that Konoha would continue to get use out of them in the ranks, even if he wasn't the one directing them.

Speaking of problematic seals… What was the array Tsunade hadn't been able to identify? Jiraiya wasn't going to hurry back to look at a half-naked geriatric, and it was far too important for Aiko to feel comfortable trying to disarm it.

If push came to shove she could lift it, but it was almost certainly too big to put on a damn bunny. Aiko wasn't about to volunteer herself for that. If there was no other option they could probably wrangle one of the gigantic tigers from the forest of death, but… well, it would be a waste of a tiger.

One quivering grey rabbit tucked under her left arm, she pulled down Yamato's jaw with her right hand and delicately prodded around inside to touch the seal. It was installed so close to the back of the neck that she might set off his gag reflex if she wasn't careful. (A sensible precaution when trying to avoid having the seal show in normal circumstances, but an inconvenient placement now). There was no chance in hell she was paid enough to wallow up to her wrist in vomit, so Aiko was meticulously careful. She scrunched up her nose in concentration as she oh-so-carefully lifted the seal up and out of his mouth without touching his teeth or palette. It was eager to adhere to another surface and… sticky, was the best way that she could describe.

Hot damn, was that excellent seal work.

"You will be my first agent, ANBU Bunny," Aiko gravely informed the trapped rodent. "I expect great things from you. Failure is not an option." (Tsunade snorted in the background.) She didn't bother to pry open his jaw and risk getting bit by an unhappy animal. Instead, she gently tapped it onto the edge of his nose and watched it stretch and unfold like a flower before fading under the fur.

 _'Well, I'm already not going to win 'pet owner of the month' anytime soon,_ ' Aiko observed, and hurriedly peeled off the seal on her hand as well. That one went on the bunny's little cheek.

ANBU Bunny sneezed rather pathetically. "I'm sorry, love," Aiko whispered, planting a kiss between his ears before she gave him back to Tsunade (who abruptly tossed it back into the cage it had come from. Konohamaru might have been pleased to know that his latest D-rank mission actually was critical to village security).

It was really only a little bit of a shame, but having had to silence her conscience about Boar and the two Root guards perhaps had her a bit more emotional than usual. It was safe to hug and apologize to bunnies. Not so much to members of a subversive assassination and covert operation unit that would have wanted her dead if they'd known she was an infiltrator.

' _Now is not really the time for that.'_

Feeling rather like a doctor performing a tense operation, she sterilized her hands before walking over to Kakashi. There, she wavered uncertainly. She could do the procedure blind—it was essentially blind in the first place— but she could hardly put her hands through the fabric over his mouth.

It wasn't that she didn't want to see his face, but under circumstances like these? It felt even more like invading his privacy than allowing Tsunade to convince him that the older woman had been the one to remove his seal. They were lying to him, yes, but… But for a reason. Gaping at his face like an idiot would only be self-indulgence or laziness.

If she ever saw his face, it was going to be because he didn't mind her seeing it.

Tsunade rolled her eyes, but obligingly forked over her haori when asked. Aiko carefully draped it over Kakashi's face in the area his mask covered before tugging his mask down and tried her best not to notice that he needed a bit of a shave as her hand brushed a cheek she'd never seen. If she let herself wonder, it would only get worse.

The charade might be more convincing anyways if he smelt that Tsunade had been near him. He might be a little disturbed that she'd apparently leaned her chest directly onto his face (or disappointed to have been unconscious, now that she thought about it) but would hopefully be preoccupied by other issues.

"Bunny?" Aiko asked seriously, wishing she had other tools to ask for. Tsunade handed it over with a prompt professionalism that perhaps implied that her thoughts were in a similar vein. Her lips twitched as the teen carefully trailed her fingers down the inside of her captain's mouth to tug out his own seal. It was even older than Yamato's (the design was obviously an early prototype), and again she wondered how the hell the two of them had gotten involved in Root in the first place. Her theory was vague at best.

This bunny was black and white spotted, and its fur hid the new 'tattoo' even better than Mr. Grey's had. Aiko held it out across from her face and seriously rubbed her nose against the little creature's and made eye contact. "You shall be Agent Tigress," she gravely informed. Tsunade ceremonially held up ANBU Agent Tigress's cage and tucked it away with the other as soon as Aiko was done.

Aiko quickly sanitized her hands again and straightened her uniform. "What's going to happen to the bunnies?" She was morbidly curious.

Tsunade just shrugged. "I don't really know yet. We should probably keep an eye on them to see if anything changes in the seal after Danzo dies. Maybe I'll make those two keep them as pets."

There wasn't enough time to stop the snicker. As soon as possible, Aiko jerked her features back into solemnity. "I think that they might make connections," she pointed out a little regretfully. Two seals disappear, and two mysterious bunnies with high chakra levels appear… Then again, did she really care? They could wonder 'til the end of their days how the hell Tsunade had done it. Tsunade was probably right that she didn't want to share this.

It wasn't exactly that Tsunade had forbidden that she tell anyone, but secrecy was a shinobi's lifeblood. Even if it wasn't habit to suppress information, Aiko was getting a reputation as a front-line fighter type. Since she had originally been pegged as an infiltrator and trained as a tracker… Well. There was no point to spreading those skill-sets around as public knowledge. And she hardly wanted to talk about Root anyways.

"Yes, but it would be so therapeutic," Tsunade sighed. At Aiko's blank stare, she helpfully clarified, "For me. It would be therapeutic for me to watch those two try to complete an A class mission to care for very important rodents. Can't you just picture it?"

' _Yes, especially if they really do drop dead when Danzo does,_ ' Aiko mused. ' _What would Kakashi and Yamato even do? Hide the bodies and get replacement bunnies? Apologize and admit they couldn't keep rodents alive for a couple of days? There is just no good option there.'_

That promised to be good entertainment.

"You're a bad woman," Aiko informed her kage levelly, stepping to the stretch of genjutsu that substituted for a wall. She lingered for just a moment to grin at Tsunade, letting the expression come across through her tone since it couldn't through the mask. "I admire that about you. Would you mind moving to the back of the room and make them turn around so I can see their faces when you tell them they're caring for your bunnies?"

Tsunade nodded her pig-tailed head austerely. "Will do."

"And hurry, I have places to be," Aiko half-joked. The older woman turned to glare at her as her hand skimmed over Yamato's temples.

' _Well, I do_ ,' she sighed quietly, watching Tsunade frown down at Yamato.

"Actually, I think that we should wait to wake them up." Tsunade abruptly pulled her hand back and pinned Aiko with a serious look. "If we want them to think that I somehow surgically removed the seals, they'll have to be unconscious for more than five minutes."

"Couldn't hurt," Aiko agreed mildly, stepping back out into the room proper. "Then, what do you-"

"Go take care of whatever errand you have," Tsunade interrupted with a dismissive wave. "I'll be here when you get back. Actually, I probably won't wait for you. No point in risking one of them noticing you."

Aiko snorted rudely and fought the urge to ask if Sai could do some of the dirty work since he was getting the credit for it. That was both immature and unworkable, however, so she shut her mouth. Instead, she gave a loose salute and set off in a blur of speed. The closest route was only a floor away, so she easily slipped into the intelligence department.

She picked through the same route she had learned earlier. The sound of quiet voices arrested her. So did the fact that one of the prisoners she had noticed earlier was awake.

' _I was right,'_ Aiko noted grimly. ' _Witnesses are going to be a problem. No one can know that Danzo is down here. If I have to actually take him out to keep up the charade, I can't let him be seen.'_

"Hey, ANBU." The witness in question, a hard-faced man of middling age gestured at her. "Have you fucks decided you're just not feeding me anymore? I did what you wanted, sadistic bitch."

Charming.

But it did give her an idea. "Back up, prisoner," she commanded briskly. He obeyed. Probably because he knew that disobedience would prompt consequences far more harsh than insulting her would. She keyed it open with a fifteen part sequence of handsigns attuned to chakra pulses.

And then proceeded to wrap her hand around his forehead and use the full force she could muster with her elbow and bodyweight to slam the back of his head into the concrete wall with enough force to knock him out. Numb to the violence that paled in comparison to what she had already done today, Aiko curled her fingers into the fabric on his shoulders to brace him up—and then blinked as he slumped to the ground, leaving her holding loose fabric.

"Oh, that's right," she realized dimly, tilting her head in thought. "He's… going to be heavy."

Well, shit. Laboriously, Aiko pulled his arm over her shoulder and dragged him down the hallway. His feet scraped sadly behind her. The voices she'd heard earlier only got louder as she approached Danzo's cell, so she stashed him against the wall and crept around the corner. If she needed to use him, he was close. If not, he could always be returned to his cell none the wiser as to what had really happened.

Shizune was grimly attempting to ignore Danzo. He was seated on his cot, propped awkwardly against a pile of his pillow and crumpled blanket to support his body weight.

"I must speak with the Hokage," he insisted in a wheeze.

Shizune's jaw tightened slightly. It seemed pretty clear that she wasn't about to listen to Danzo.

' _Well, this is going to suck,'_ Aiko noted mournfully. ' _How am I going to knock Shizune out convincingly without hurting her?'_

Honestly, it was getting to be incredibly depressing. After a moment, she could only conclude that she would have to do it quickly, and apologize later. A drawn-out fight with Shizune might not end in her favor.

Aiko took a deep breath and began internally composing her note to Shizune after this all was over. Then she flickered down the hallway and collided with Shizune, forcing her face-first into the wall with enough force that something audibly broke.

"Ahh!" Shizune shrieked in what seemed to be genuine surprise, twisting around reflexively to elbow into Aiko's gut.

Aiko dry-heaved, but was too disciplined to curl over in shock. Her left hand shot up to curl around Shizune's now exposed neck, and she squeezed, keeping the older girl pushed into the wall by the front of her hips and her left shoulder, awkwardly contorted. Shizune gargled, jerking around Aiko's hand. The redhead danced around the violent kick that lashed out at her, and then moved to pin the brunette with her hip and elbow.

Watching Shizune jerk and struggle as she lost consciousness was painful. Aiko did it anyway. The scuffle had moved them out of Danzo's line of sight, so she gently lowered the older girl to the floor and checked her pulse. It was going steadily, so she didn't feel too guilty about rising up and darting to Danzo's cell.

He hadn't moved to the bars, which was her first sign that he really was in poor condition. You know, aside from the face that the bandages around his right arm were soaked with blood and he appeared to be missing a massive chunk out of his shoulder. His eye was alert, however, when she began racing through the hand sequence that would unlock the cell.

"Sakura?"

He seemed genuinely confused. In a nod to his habitual order to bare her face, she pushed her mask up and kneeled as soon as she had opened the cell. "Danzo-sama," she murmured. "Forgive me, but we must hurry. I have retrieved a prisoner to leave as a decoy, but I do not know how long it will be until the switch is noticed."

There was a moment of silence. His tone was oddly raspy and weak when Danzo finally spoke. "Would you show me your seal, my child?"

Her jaw dropped as low as she could manage and she pushed her tongue out, wishing there was a less undignified way of doing this.

"I see." Danzo slowly shook his head, and gestured for her to stand. Was he—he was crying, Aiko noticed, mildly astonished. "I misjudged you. Do you know who the traitor is?"

Her eyes hardened. ' _You're the traitor,_ ' she thought. "The agent codenamed Sai."

Weakly, he tried and failed to bring a hand up to his cheek. She actually felt a bit uncomfortable as slow tears trailed down his wrinkled face. "Your loyalty does you credit," he finally managed, sounding choked up. "Alas, I will not be going anywhere with you, my girl. I am too weak." His head bowed so that she couldn't see his expression. "Even if that were not true, Konoha is my home, and I will not flee like a thief in the night. My life has been dedicated to its protection. I can only provide one last service. You must get the Hokage to listen to me," he pleaded.

"Danzo-sama?" The question came out a bit more childlike than she would have preferred. This was wrong. He wasn't supposed to be a pitiable old man.

"I know that Jiraiya of the Sannin will be in Konoha within days. He must come while I still live to neutralize the explosive seal on my chest, or else I must be allowed to alter it myself. It was intended as a last precaution. I never thought that I would die in any way other than in battle." His voice broke. A few seconds later, he finished a little more steadily, "The blast would cause significant damage within city limits."

' _Oh, god damnit._ ' Aiko forced her eyes closed, and tried to think on that.

There was absolutely no chance that Tsunade would allow Danzo to access his chakra and ink. She wouldn't let her sympathy for a sad old man outweigh the possibility that he was bluffing to get a chance to attack. Nor would he live long enough for Jiraiya to show up.

"Danzo-sama? What will happen to us if you die?" The meekness in her tone was feigned, but he didn't seem to catch on.

Gravely, he looked up at her. "I have no successor, child. You will all pass when I do."

' _Oh hell no. I know I already said that he's crazy, but did he not recognize that he's seventy years old? Of course he was going to die soon, even if this hadn't happened.'_

"The same seal that was meant to ensure my body could not be used against Konoha contains the formula that ties all of you to my person."

' _You are such an asshole, old man,'_ she thought bitterly. Remarkably, her sympathy had fled.

That didn't leave her a lot of options. He was going to die. She wasn't. No matter what happened, she could remove her own seal, but she didn't want to leave every other root member to die. They didn't deserve it just because it would be slightly more convenient for her. Three innocents had been enough blood on her hands for the day.

She must have been still a moment too long, because he sighed. "I am sorry, child."

"I'm not."

His head swiveled up at that just in time to see her stick her fingers in her jaw and delicately extract her seal. It flickered on her fingertips for a second and she favored him with a hard look. The shock on his face was most satisfying. "I was never loyal to you," Aiko said gently. He recoiled as she let it waft away into nothingness (a trick: she actually just let it fade from visibility) and deliberately kneeled in front of him one last time. She held eye contact and pressed her palm against his neck to deposit the root seal and then trailed to the center of his chest, examining the much larger mystery seal. Aiko kept her tone steady and confidential. "I was Tsunade's from the start. I might have had sympathy for you, until I found you had me under a genjutsu."

Danzo tried to jerk away from her hand on his seal, but he was weak, and old, and already had his back to the wall. The fingers of her left hand curled into his shoulder with painful force, keeping him pinned in place.

Confidentially, she added, "I don't like being controlled." She continued her work calmly, sinking her chakra into his chest to claim the seal for her own. It fought, rejecting the new energy, so she siphoned out his essence and forced it to obey her will. "Even for Konoha's sake." The old man let out a choked sob, but she was relentless.

"Goodbye, Danzo-sama." The seal on his chest lit up with a blinding teal light, spotted with the dark purple ooze of his essence like liver spots. The light over came them and pushed them out. Waveringly, she pulled the entire construction off of his chest and carefully flipped her palm parallel to her own chest.

This part, she wasn't looking forward to. But Aiko braced herself and pushed the nasty thing through the porcelain of her armor, through the fabric underneath, and let it latch greedily onto her flesh, suckling and biting. It settled over her heart with a prickling sensation like drops of acid at the edges.

It **burned**. She hit her knees on the ground and panted, blinded by pain. When it faded, she pushed herself up to stand above the cot dispassionately.

"It's a good thing that worked," Aiko noted dryly, rubbing a hand unconsciously against her chest plate in an ill-conceived attempt to soothe the lingering pain. "It looks like removing that was stressful on his body."

An understatement, gauging by the silent scream on his still features and fingers impotently hooked into claws pointed at his chest. Somehow, she wasn't particularly anxious to try taking it off herself now.

Of course, it was anyone's guess as to whether Danzo had suddenly keeled over from his previous medical condition or if she really had killed him by stealing his seal, but she was pretty sure it was her fault.

She favored the body, crumpled and diminished looking, with one final glance before she steeled herself to glide out of the cell and close the door behind her. Danzo had not been a kind man, but he'd had the best of intentions. Aiko bent over Shizune and then thought better of it, seating herself beside the older girl and pulled the tousled black head onto her lap. In that position, she pulled on Kakashi's seal to place the two of them in Tsunade's office.

Tsunade gave a start and a curse. "Don't surprise me like- Shizune?" The Hokage practically leapt over her desk and bent to examine her first apprentice, genuine concern showing openly.

"She should just be unconscious," Aiko informed her dispassionately. "Danzo is dead, however. The seal on his chest was two-fold. An explosive device; and the array that linked Root to him."

Tsunade's hand curled into a fist. "Then… did you take him outside city limits before you killed him?" Her tone was flat.

Aiko scowled. "No," she clipped out. "I stole the seal. It's on me now, to buy time to pick it apart. I didn't want to let kami knows how many people drop over dead. It wasn't my intention, but he died in the process."

Slowly, the Hokage raised her head to look Aiko in the eye. Her expression was inscrutable. "You… stole it," she repeated numbly. "How? I saw, earlier, but only realized what you'd done after you'd gone."

A shrug was all the explanation Aiko felt she had to give. "I can't put it into words," she deflected. "I just pick them up."

Tsunade took a deep breath. Unsteadily, she mused, "You know, I've only ever seen one person do that before. My grandmother. I thought it was something unique to her."

Uzumaki Mito, the first jinchuuriki? Interesting, but not important right now. "Danzo seemed to think Jiraiya would be here in a few days?"

The subject change seemed to wake Tsunade up a bit. "Ah, yes. I believe so." She gave a bitter little laugh, shaking her head. "I suppose there's no point in asking how he knew that. He certainly wasn't supposed to."

"What are we going to do about Root?" Aiko pushed.

"Let's wait and see what Jiraiya has to say about that seal," Tsunade sighed. She turned her face down and ran a gentle swipe of medical chakra down Shizune's forehead and circled around her temples before trailing down her neck. "You really banged her up, didn't you?" The question didn't seem to require an answer.

It was only a matter of minute before Shizune was back on her feet, had groggily accepted Aiko's apology, and then toddled off to go have a lie down.

"Aiko…" Tsunade began thoughtfully, still watching the closed door. "I'm impressed that you were willing to put that on yourself for the sake of root agents. You think they can be saved, then?"

' _Some of them? Depending on what they try to do when it becomes clear that Danzo is dead. Sai can't have been the only one who wanted out.'_

Uncomfortable, she shrugged. "Mostly I was worried about the bunnies," Aiko deflected vaguely, clasping her hands and wishing she could escape from this emotional conversation.

Honey colored eyes narrowed in thought and what might have been pity. "Of course you were," Tsunade said gently. Aiko broke eye contact to look down. A sigh broke the still air. "Is there anything I need to know now?"

Ashamed, Aiko clenched one hand into a fist against the side of her leg. "I killed three Konoha shinobi today," she shared quietly. "First two ROOT guards at Danzo's house so that when Boar came looking for reinforcements, I could ambush him relatively safely."

There was a cracking sound. She didn't look up to see what it was.

"Boar was a root agent?" Tsunade's tone was odd. "Your ANBU teammate?"

Aiko could hardly blame her. "Yes."

They stood in silence for a full minute, until Tsunade swallowed. "I see. Aiko…" She tried again, voice even softer. "Go home. Get some sleep. Don't think about it. I'll postpone your debriefing until tomorrow."

She started out walking home. Until she felt the curious stares of passersby and remembered that she was still covered in Shou's blood. Then Aiko ran, feet and heart pounding as if she could drown out the look on his face when he'd realized that she was about to kill him. He hadn't even made a move to fight her.

She stripped her outer clothing almost violently as soon as she was inside her door, leaving it piled in the genkan. Dried blood was flaking off her boots already, but the rest of it had been close to her body and was still damp. The first thing she did was step in the shower, still in her breast bindings and shorts. Aiko scrubbed at every bit of uncovered skin, realized she was still wearing the black wig, and then tugged it off to hit the floor with a wet plop. It meandered over to block the drain. Water began to accumulate up to her ankles, so she turned the faucet off and stepped out.

Idly, she noted that she was still wearing her sodden clothes. She didn't bother to take them off or dry at all, letting puddles accumulate when she wandered out of the bathroom.

It hadn't helped. She didn't really feel any cleaner. She still felt empty inside, too, but maybe eating would rectify that. The last time she'd eaten had been breakfast.

Aiko pulled open the fridge and immediately felt nauseous at the bright light it gave off. She let the door shut quietly and opened the pantry instead. Nothing really looked good. There were two bottles of sake for cooking staring at her though in their green packaging. So she took them both out, sat on the floor with her back to the cupboard, and silently opened the first.

* * *

' _My apartment doesn't smell like blood. Where am I?'_

Warily, Kakashi tensed his muscles and kept his eye shut to assess the situation. Judging by the light falling across his face, he wasn't in his apartment at all. What had-

Oh, he realized grimly, prying his eye open and sitting up. Experimentally, he rubbed his tongue against the roof of his mouth. It didn't… feel any different.

"Don't hurt yourself," Tsunade huffed, looking considerably more worn-out than she had been the last time he had been conscious. Tenzou was also sitting up. His kohai was cross-eyed in an attempt to examine the tongue hanging out of his mouth.

Obviously, Tenzou couldn't see it, but Kakashi was well aware that there was now no seal on the boy's tongue. The implications of that took a moment to sink in.

That meant he didn't have one either. That was good news.

The stench of blood said otherwise, however. That definitely hadn't been present in the office when last he had been conscious. But it wasn't his or Tenzou's, he was certain of it. Confused, he took a few shallow sniffs, turning his head around to pinpoint the source.

"Kakashi, pay attention. I have a mission for the two of you." Gravely, she met their eyes, and then scooted her chair back and bent to reach under her desk. "Yamato, you will be responsible for the care of Bunny. Kakashi, you have Tigress."

They stared blankly, united momentarily in a "what the fuck" sort of camaraderie.

She seemed to be serious. "It's important that you keep these animals alive," she imparted, shaking Tigress' cage slightly. The bunny skidded to one side of the cage, quivering. "This is a long-term, A class intelligence mission. That's all you need to know."

' _How does one care for a rabbit'_ was warring with ' _why would she want to keep food alive?_ '

But he took the damn cage obediently. It was only once he was out of the office that the sheer impact of the situation hit him.

"This has been a surreally long and confusing day," Kakashi thought aloud. He was doing his level best not to notice that the secretary was doing a poor job of hiding her grin at their expense behind a hand. "I need to go home now."

"Me too," Tenzou added, lifting his cage to stare a bit helplessly at his rabbit. He tilted his head, brown eyes clearly conveying distress. "How do I keep a rabbit alive?"

Kakashi honestly didn't know. They ate fruit, right? Like a bat? "Didn't Naruto used to have a rabbit?" He vaguely remembered Naruto talking about rabbits.

"For what good that would do us," Tenzou noted sourly, letting his rabbit cage fall down by his hip. "He's out of town. D'you think Aiko would have paid any attention to how he kept it alive?"

"It's worth a try," Kakashi sighed, scratching at his neck with his free hand and beginning to saunter down the spiraling stairs. "Tell me if she has anything useful?"

"Will do," came the glum acknowledgement. "Good night, senpai."

Despite his frustration with the rabbit situation, it was a relatively minor indignity to have to suffer in exchange for having that seal removed. They weren't likely to talk about their feelings, but he was certain Tenzou felt much the same way.

He, at least, had been fourteen when he'd been tricked into Danzo's service, and had only spent one dark year there. Tenzou had been snapped up by Danzo's program as a small child. Kakashi would never forget seeing a preteen in that armor and disobeying his mission directive to eliminate any interference. He wouldn't regret it either.

Things were starting to look up, he noted. Gently, he opened the little cage and let the rabbit named Tigress loose into his bathroom. It was a temporary solution at best, but it seemed cruel to leave the little thing trapped.


	92. Dog Piles

You all get another nice, long chapter, because my internet is down at home and I thusly had much more time to stare forlornly at Microsoft Word when I really wanted to just be able to post. I will hopefully have internet again tomorrow, but if not, the next updates will be slowed as well.

On a brighter note, I might have more time to write, now that I am done with my undergraduate career. Am torn between hysterical crying while I refuse to leave the Great Hall so they can close the building and laughing and staying up until six am playing Dragon Age. Oh wait, I already do that last thing all the time. but now I won't be risking sleeping in past my 8am dance class.

Mixed feelings.

* * *

It took several hours and a disgraceful amount of cooking wine for Aiko to mostly forget that she was a back-stabbing monster. Unfortunately, there just wasn't enough for her to stay drunk for long.

Aiko scrunched up her face and curled up into a ball, knees held tightly to her chest. Then she opened her eyes again, because having them closed had made the room move too much. With difficulty, Aiko stood and used the counter as a brace to cross the room. She risked walking on her own when she ran out of counter, then stopped to blink gummily at the room. Why had she done that? Surely she'd gotten up for something, hadn't she?

The pale underside of her ROOT mask was still sitting on top of the pile of clothing by the door, and the armor leaned against the wall. She should probably put those away, as per policy.

That project took a surprisingly long time, not least because the storage seals in her closet didn't want to work for her. Aiko ended up shoving most of it under her bed. It could be cleaned properly later. She wasn't supposed to leave that sort of thing lying around.

She found that she didn't really want to put the blank mask away with the rest of the equipment, however. That and the little red half backpack still by the door were the only uniform components that she'd gotten from ROOT, aside from the wig in the bath drain.

Hmm. Should probably do something about that too. Leaning to wrestle the black mess out of the drain made her feel queasy, and it felt coarse and filmy between her fingers. Aiko held it up and frowned. It was trash. Trash, it was all trash. She dropped it in the metal trash bin from her bathroom, and then reconsidered. She picked up the whole bin and carried it like a baby out to the front room and shoved the red backpack in it as well. Aiko considered the pile of bloody clothes on the floor as well—but no. That was an ANBU uniform like any other. Blood would wash out, and it would hardly be the last time she was soaked in it. She carried the whole kit back to the kitchen, suddenly missing her bottle.

* * *

Guiltily, Yamato wavered between his door and his neighbor's. It was a little late to bother Aiko…

' _No, it's only nine,_ ' he assured himself. _'She's still awake. Besides, she likes animals. She wouldn't want the thing to go hungry overnight.'_

He was probably going to have to go to Kakashi-senpai himself to make sure that he took care of his own rabbit properly. The off-put look on senpai's face had been badly hidden: surely, he intellectually understood that the rabbit was an herbivore of some sort, but the concept of going out of his way to coddle prey was counter to everything Kakashi knew.

The cage that Bunny was huddled in was rather ugly and cramped, so he opened his door and stepped in just far enough to set the cage down in the genkan and extracted the little beast.

Yamato spent a moment holding it straight across from his face, trying to get a measure of the little animal's worth. It twitched a little black nose at him and paddled in the air futilely. If it could have reached flesh, it probably would have bitten him.

Pathetic and without function. But somehow he couldn't quite bring himself to toss it back in the cage and hope Tsunade took it back soon.

He heaved a sigh and awkwardly tucked the thing in the crook of his elbow, stroking it with the other hand. He really was insufferably soft-hearted. It was just something he would have to come to terms with.

"Are you ready to make a friend?" Yamato mildly asked, rubbing behind one floppy ear as the animal slowly calmed and stopped digging claws into his sleeve. "I bet you are." He crossed the hall to knock on Aiko's door.

Then he knocked again, because there wasn't any answer. "Aiko?" He outright banged on the door, feeling it vibrate underneath his fist. "Are you alright?"

* * *

Sinking back onto the tile was a blessed relief. Her skin felt oddly hot, and the floor was cool. She carefully settled the can between her knees and worked on the remaining alcohol. There wasn't much. She settled back into a rhythm of taking a pull of the dwindling supply as soon as the prickling heat faded from her insides, feeling her face flush and eyes redden. The mask was sitting face-up on her knees, over the trash can.

Aiko considered it. That wouldn't burn, would it? But she didn't want it. Didn't need it anymore and never would.

"Aiko?"

Belatedly, she realized that there had been a knock on the door. And that the voice had been familiar. It sounded like… Yamato?

"Are you alright?"

Well, it sounded like him, but that had to be wrong. She didn't sense his Hiraishin tag. Oh no… there it was. She blinked, wondering why that had been so hard. Now that she was thinking about it, her connections to her seals felt blurry. Like she was talking to them through a thick pane of glass.

' _I don't want to talk to Yamato right now.'_

* * *

Yamato shuffled his feet, leaning into the door. Was she even in there? He didn't think she should be out of the village.

Finally, she answered. Her voice wasn't loud, but seemed to be surprisingly close to the door. "Go away, please."

Uneasy, he shifted his weight. That wasn't much like her at all. He'd never known her to not answer the door—she bowed to social obligation even if she really didn't want to talk to anyone.

* * *

Aiko clapped a hand over her open mouth. Then she shut her jaw, almost shocked by how easily the words had slipped out. Had she really meant to say that? Did alcohol make her talkative- or at least, less likely to filter her words properly? If that was the case, she couldn't be around Yamato. He would hate her if he knew what she'd done. Killing Shou hadn't even been on orders. That had been her initiative. Self-hatred welled up again, and she tilted up the bottle one more time to drain the last of the warm liquid. It didn't seem to help distract her this time. Furious with herself, she rubbed harshly at her eyes with a palm, willing them to stop stinging.

* * *

' _Maybe I should make sure everything is fine?'_

But he couldn't exactly break down the door and trounce in, either. She was a seal-master. There was a damn good chance that the place was trapped floor to ceiling.

' _What would senpai do?'_ Yamato wondered a bit helplessly.

Then the answer seemed obvious. Emotional manipulation.

* * *

Aiko bent inwards and seriously considered covering her ears when the barging on the door seemed to pick up force. But his voice got counter-intuitively smoother and caught her attention before she'd shuffled her burden around to manage it. "Aiko-chan, if you don't let me in, a cute furry animal is going to go hungry," Yamato cajoled.

Oh. Aiko's fingers tightened around the edge of her mask. Had he really been given a bunny? It had seemed funny earlier when Tsunade had suggested it, but now that there was a chance she'd have to look at the rabbits again, not so much. They were going to be an unpleasant reminder.

"I need help with this rabbit-"

Yamato seemed to cut off in astonishment when she lifted her arms and twisted the mask slightly to impact with the rim of the tin can, neatly cracking it into two pieces. Gently, she set it on the floor and hugged the trash can to her chest. It took a full second to search out a seal in the outskirts of the enormous forests surrounding Konoha and pull herself away from a possible conversation.

* * *

He jumped directly up like a startled cat at the sound of a single crack within the apartment. What was that about? "Aiko?" Yamato tried again.

' _I think she left,_ ' he slowly realized. ' _She used her Hiraishin.'_

It seemed a bit extreme. Maybe she just really didn't like rabbits. Or she could have had a really bad day.

"Sorry, Bunny," he apologized stiffly, tucking the thing back into the cage in his apartment. "I suppose you'll make it one night, right?" Uncertainly, he tucked a porcelain bowl with water and a bit of radish inside.

* * *

Dozens of miles away, Aiko was sitting on the damp ground, feeling twigs and other forest debris press uncomfortably into her thighs. It wasn't nice, so she used the trash can as a brace to stumble to her feet.

It took four tries to light the equipment on fire. The first two attempts didn't make sparks, and the third she misaimed at the metal itself instead of the fuel inside it. It stank, but she slumped against the nearest tree to wait for it all to burn to nothingness.

After a while, she got cold. But Yamato might still be at her apartment, and she didn't want to talk to him. Much more clumsily than usual, Aiko scraped off skin from her thumb to draw blood for a summoning. Then she threw her arms around a surprised-looking Mitsuo, inadvertently smearing blood on the nape of his neck. "Hi," she sniffed into the thick ruff at his collar. "I had a bad day."

He whined sympathetically and sat down, then craned to lick at her arm. Aiko gave a snuffling giggle and pressed her nose into his fur.

"I did a bad thing," she confided lowly. Mitsuo drew back and stared her directly in the eye, and then blinked slowly. Deliberately, he gave a rolling howl in the back of his throat that she recognized as a comforting sound. "Thanks," Aiko ran a hand down his back. "I had to fight someone who I was on a team with for a year. He was a traitor, but he wasn't a bad man." The smell of the alcohol on her breath washed back into her face, wafting back off of Mitsuo's coat. She cringed, ashamed.

"I'm sorry, I must stink." She drew back and leaned against the bole of the Hashirama tree at her back. Mitsuo followed her back and laid his head on her lap, turning to lick at her bare stomach. He kept one eye open and pinned on her.

Carefully, deliberately, he made a four-tone whine, moving from an inquisitive pitch to an order. Aiko mindlessly obeyed, rubbing at the cut on her thumb to induce it to bleed again. Hōseki shook her coat, dissolving the cloud of smoke from an inefficient summoning and took in her contract partner.

"Why sad?" She tilted her head, letting an ear flop over. Without waiting for an invitation, she drew herself up to place her paws on Aiko's shoulder and lick at her ear.

Mitsuo lifted his head just enough to talk to Hōseki, keeping his yaps soft and talking far too quickly for Aiko to pick apart. Whatever it was, it convinced Hōseki to lean in and rub her nose against Aiko's cheek in a silent kiss.

"You're a good human," she reassured. Hot, malodorous doggy breath washed across Aiko's face, but she didn't care. She wrapped a grateful arm around the little dog to stroke down her luxurious coat.

"I killed three Konoha nin today," Aiko confided.

The Shiba Inu stilled for just a moment. "Not pack?" she asked curiously.

"One was pack. ANBU pack, anyway. They were traitors, but they didn't deserve to die." Numbly, Aiko stared up at the night sky. The last of daylight was fading. If she didn't put out her fire soon, it would be far too visible. That meant she should probably move, if she didn't want to talk to any patrols.

"Sometimes…" Hōseki hesitated, then laboriously crawled on Aiko's hip, nearly stepping on Mitsuo's face. He moved at the last moment. "Sometimes not all dogs are good for the big pack." Her dark eyes were soulful and serious. "Sometimes Alpha has to cull."

Aiko gave a surprised laugh and rubbed at the little dog's ear. "I'm not really the Alpha," she deflected. "that would be Tsunade-sama."

' _And she didn't give that order. She didn't disapprove when she found out, but it was my idea. Judge, jury, and executioner.'_

"Are," Hōseki disagreed crossly. "Alpha makes those decisions." She nipped lightly at Aiko's ear, as if to scold.

She didn't bother to argue with the Shiba Inu anymore. Pack didn't really have the same kind of political hierarchy that a place like Konoha did. In Hōseki's mind, it probably did make sense that Tsunade wasn't really Aiko's alpha if Aiko went over her head to do what she thought was best.

' _Then again, maybe Tsunade isn't my alpha,_ ' Aiko thought, bleakly amused. ' _She doesn't assert authority over me or give me orders. I pretty much have free reign as long as I don't do anything insufferably stupid.'_

Was that really usual? Couldn't be. Her foray into ROOT had been entirely at her own discretion, and Tsunade hadn't said a damned thing about how she chose to conduct it. She had gotten mocked a little bit for handing out a Hiraishin seal to Gaara, but Tsunade had never disciplined her and then had in fact continued to allow her to do similar things.

Huh. The dog might be onto something. It wasn't like Aiko really cared what Tsunade thought. She went through the motions of hierarchy, but not consistently or sincerely.

' _Do I have an alpha, then?'_ Aiko wondered.

The answer was a sullen no. It was a bit depressing, really. She didn't especially like to lead, so she hardly felt like an alpha herself, but she didn't trust anyone else to account for everything that she did. Kakashi had been her alpha for a long time, but when was the last time that she had really regarded his word as law?

A long time.

' _If I didn't have Mitsuo and Hōseki, I'd be a lone hound,'_ Aiko realized, suddenly feeling grateful beyond words that she did have pack. It was a tiny pack, to be sure. A week ago, she might not have realized, but there was a critical difference between the big pack and the little pack. She couldn't tell the big pack things like what she'd just told the little pack. Pack didn't judge: the big pack would _forgive_ her, but they would look at her differently if they knew what she did. Kakashi would be disappointed. Naruto would think she'd done something monstrous. Yamato would probably just be sad for her sake, but that hardly appealed to her either.

"Love you guys," Aiko said quietly. Mitsuo moved his head out to nose her legs, making room for Hōseki to sit down on her with a huff.

"Yes." The little dog tossed her head like a queen, pawing at Aiko's hip. "Take us inside," she commanded regally. "Where are your furs?"

It took a moment for that to sink in. Then she glanced down, and saw only dogs on her lap and white bandages around her torso.

' _I'm still half-naked. How did I forget about that?'_

Aiko just about choked on her laughter, but managed to restrain it. "I forgot them. Just a minute."

Feeling infinitely better than she had before, Aiko pulled all three of them to her old room at the house. Naruto and Karin were out, but-

"Aiko?" Hinata pushed open the door and visibly relaxed, slipping the kunai in her hand back into her thigh holster. "You startled me." She walked into the door just enough to really take in the puddle of dogs, and blinked. "Where are your clothes?" she asked uncertainly, as if worried that she didn't want the answer. To be fair, she was wearing only shorts and breast bindings in addition to the two dogs and a healthy smattering of twigs and leaves.

Aiko just shrugged, palms up and a sheepish smile on her face. "I lost them on the path of life?"

After a moment's consideration, Hinata heaved a sigh and stepped out into the hall. She came back a minute later with one of her navy blue shirts. Aiko thanked her and slipped it on gratefully.

It had been a bit cold.

* * *

The first thing that Yamato did in the morning was to head to the corner store in search of pet supplies. Some of it was promising and had pictures of small animals on the packaging, although the cashier was spectacularly unhelpful. He'd figure it out on his own, he supposed. How hard could it be?

Bunny seemed inclined to make it more difficult than it really had to be.

His plan to learn the proper care of rabbits through experience was derailed by a messenger at about six. He dutifully reported to the Hokage's office as soon as he could, but was apparently slower than he should have been. Sai was already there.

Tsunade looked up blearily. "Good, that's two out of three," she mumbled. With a sigh, she pushed her chair back. Yamato wondered if she'd been working all night—there were deep creases in her clothing and her fingertips were stained with ink. "I sent a messenger for Hatake three hours ago, so he-"

"Is not feeling particularly appreciative," Kakashi finished, giving a one-eyed glare to his boss. For once, he had entered through the door.

She just shrugged. "This is too important to wait around for. I'll be publically announcing that Councilman Danzo passed away during the night. By the way, the funeral is going to be the day after tomorrow." She rolled her eyes. "Since you three are already involved in some level, it makes more sense to send you to his home. Right now, there should be a perimeter keeping out curious bystanders. I want any and all documentation and indication of ROOT cleared out of that place, as well as anything remotely suspicious."

A few minutes later, the three men were quietly standing in Danzo's entrance hall and observing the still home.

"Do you think that blood counts as suspicious?" Yamato asked a bit wryly. Kakashi snorted, but Sai shrugged.

"Not really," he idly replied. "Perhaps the clean couch fabric does."

"The couch is soaked in-" and then Yamato stopped, because that wasn't precisely true. There was a clean outline on the couch that was much more incriminating than the blood and pulpy matter on the ceiling and wooden floor. "Ah," he finished weakly. Belatedly, he noted what looked like part of a mangled hand resting on a chair—a pinky and most of a ring finger attached to part of a palm. He tore his eyes away, nervously tugging at his hair. It might be best not to dwell on what had happened here.

Kakashi was still staring at the outline, a slight line forming on his brow. It was undeniably human, but looked like a small woman or a young teenager. That wasn't usually the profile of someone already hardened enough to resort to the level of violence displayed here. After a moment he shook his head like a dog, as if to chase away a thought, and heaved a sigh. "Maa, I'm not sure we deserve this."

Despite the light-hearted complaint, he worked as hard as the other two. They only had a couple of hours to clear out the domicile: ideally, they would be done before Tsunade's impromptu memorial service was so that as few people as possible saw ANBU hanging around the Councilor's house.

"I hope that couch wasn't an heirloom," Yamato commented a bit gloomily when Kakashi immolated it. All he received in reply was a shrug, so he set to sweeping up the ashes while Sai scrubbed the floor. Kakashi wandered off in search of Danzo's private documents as well as anything else that needed to be removed from the premises. The living room was nearly immaculate by the time his voice called out faintly from somewhere within the house.

"There's a secret passage over here."

"It leads to the underground facilities," Sai commented blandly. Yamato took a moment to give him a stink-eye for not sharing that information beforehand. The teen didn't seem to catch on, but it was hard to tell with him.

On more than one level, actually. His presence indicated that Tsunade trusted him implicitly. But the last Yamato had heard, Sai was one of Danzo's elites. Had he really been convinced to change loyalties beyond a shadow of a doubt?

' _He must have proved himself somehow,'_ Yamato reminded himself, trying to visibly warm up to the boy. There wasn't any point in maintaining intentional distance if Tsunade trusted him. She must have a good reason, and it wasn't his place to second-guess that.

He worked to keep that in mind as he followed the teen twisting faultlessly through Danzo's convoluted home to the passage Kakashi had already found. He looked around with mild curiousity, and spotted the same thing that Kakashi did.

"There was a fight here." Yamato bent to examine the scratch in the floor. "Someone dropped their sword."

"Do not worry. It was necessary to eliminate Danzo's house guards," Sai blandly informed them, turning back into the house.

Yamato nobly resisted the urge to ask exactly had happened yesterday. It was clear that Sai had been involved in it, but he also knew perfectly well that prying was a poor idea. If Tsunade thought it was necessary, she would have clued them in. She had simply wanted people that she trusted not to become too curious about what had happened here. All three of them had worn the mark of slavery to Danzo—had Sai's been removed as well?

An interesting thought, but he didn't ask. It didn't matter to him either way. He just needed to know that the Hokage still trusted him.

' _And she doesn't need a seal that forces me not to talk to do it,'_ he noted with a little thrill. That was marvelously freeing.

They finished their work in time to have to wait on Tsunade outside her office while she finished talking. She threw off her official robe as soon as she'd entered, and all but collapsed on her chair. "Report?"

"The area is cleared," Kakashi shrugged. "Though the underground will have to be checked as well." He laid out the storage scroll full of pilfered materials. "I assume you know why there was a mess in the front room?"

"A mess?" Tsunade's brow creased.

"Yes," he clarified bemusedly. "It looked like someone exploded in there."

She winced visibly. "Ah, that. Yes, I'm aware. Thank you boys. You're dismissed."

Sai split from them immediately, but the older shinobi kept a languid pace. "Barbeque?" Yamato suggested to fill the silence. Kakashi didn't seem to care, so they ended up there for lunch.

"Did Aiko have any wisdom about your newest problem?" Kakashi idly played with the saltshaker, clinking it against its match. His expression was exponentially darker than the saltshaker probably deserved.

Yamato heroically resisted wondering if that long-suffering tone meant that Kakashi had experienced problems with his rabbit already. Bunny had been fine, aside from resisting when he'd taken her for a walk in the morning. She didn't want to go to the restroom when the opportunity was provided, and she certainly hadn't liked the leash and collar. He sincerely hoped Aiko had tips for convincing Bunny not to go limp whenever he tried to exercise her. It would be disappointing to have wasted money on toys otherwise, although the little tube that produced a red dot of light was fascinating on its own merits and he was seriously considering taking it apart to see how it worked.

"No, I didn't end up talking with her," he admitted, turning his glass in his hand. "I tried, but she didn't want to talk."

Kakashi outright frowned. "That's odd. Isn't she off leave? I'd think her mood would be back to usual."

Unspoken was that Sasuke had been more vocal than he'd really needed to about just how difficult Aiko had been behaving before their team had been sent out. Amusing, but not revelatory. She was contrary at the best of times. Yamato didn't particularly fancy walking straight into a trap like that if she really was still crabby.

"Maybe you could try," Yamato sighed, propping himself up on his elbows. "She likes you better anyway."

And if Kakashi went in first, Yamato wouldn't be the one getting pouted at. Much safer.

His senpai sent him an amused expression that implied the attempt to throw him under the wagon had been spotted, but dropped the topic in favor of shop talk.

Kakashi had probably taken the suggestion to heart, because he wordlessly accompanied Yamato back to his apartment complex. "Do you want to try again so we can have a better comparis-" His voice trailed off, and the older man frowned slightly.

"Senpai?" Confused, he fell silent when Kakashi ignored his query and bounded the last few stairs to their floor and strode over to Aiko's door.

"Stinks like blood," he lowly informed, rapping on the door. Kakashi barely waited three seconds before trying again, raising his voice. "Aiko?"

When no one answered his call, Yamato shifted uneasily. "I could ask the manager for a spare key?" he offered.

Kakashi gave him a withering look and then lit his hand up with chidori. Yamato had barely covered his eyes when the sound of splitting wood informed him that his senpai had shoved his hand through the door. He opened one eye gingerly to glare as Kakashi impassively twisted his arm to slide over the lock and gently opened the door.

"Her shoes are here," Yamato noted as the apartment came into view. They were covered in chips of wood, but they still implied that Aiko should be home.

But she wasn't. Kakashi strode in and made a circuit of the apartment. Yamato lurked uncomfortably in the entryway, putting together a rather unpleasant picture.

Two empty bottles were lined neatly against the side of the kitchen counter. Two feet in front of them was a porcelain mask, neatly broken in two. He gingerly flipped one half over—and then blinked, moving to make the other half visible as well.

It was blank. Strange. She'd been in the corps long enough that her equipment should be personalized.

A disconcerting theory was trying to make itself known. Honestly, this looked like an ANBU mission had gone badly and she'd freaked out. Alcohol wasn't the worst or most uncommon coping mechanism. Running off barefoot was a bit more worrying, however.

"You assholes owe me a new door."

Yamato jerked, swiveling to where the dry comment had come from. Messy-haired and indeed barefoot, Aiko stood in the doorway with a severely unimpressed mien and her fingers tangled in the snowy fur of her first contracted summons ninken.

"Honestly," she continued, moving into the room. "It's like you've never seen a closed door. My people use them to signify: stay the hell out." There was a tiny snicker, and her smaller dog sprinted into the apartment on a collision course for her bedroom. A moment later, he heard the 'whumph' of a small body colliding with cushions. The girl didn't so much as twitch.

"You know me," Kakashi deflected breezily, poking his head back out of her room where he'd been snooping. "I was raised by wolves. We consider them a challenge to get at the pantry. The tribe always loved me because I have thumbs." He wiggled one at her in a way that Naruto would have found absolutely infuriating.

She just scoffed. "Seriously…" Aiko trailed off, frowning at the mess that had been her front door. "You're going to fix that, right?" The worried look on her face would been endearing if it hadn't also been slightly insulting. Of course Kakashi would… Hmm. Yamato exchanged a sheepish look with his senpai. He didn't look like a man who fixed doors.

"I have some glue in my apartment?" Yamato began weakly, but she was already shaking her head sternly. "Hey, we were worried," he defended. "He said he smelled blood." Aiko frowned as soon as Yamato jerked his head to indicate Kakashi.

"It's nothing," she clipped out, with a glare that implied anyone who said otherwise was going to regret it.

"Nothing?" Kakashi asked sarcastically, slouching in the way that usually meant he was about to say something confrontational. "I thought it was the pile of clothes inside the door."

' _I missed those._ ' Yamato scratched at his cheek and hoped his expression hadn't betrayed that he hadn't been particularly observant. To be fair, they barely looked like clothes. It was just a crumpled pile of rather crusty-looking black fabric.

Oh. Crusty. Yes, now that he was looking, he could easily believe they'd been the source of the smell. It took a lot of blood to soak clothes to the point where they would dry in peaks. He winced, and tried not to think too hard on where Aiko would have acquired that much blood. She didn't seem to be wounded at all—tired, but not wounded. It was relatively easy to tell, seeing as she was wearing some of those terrifyingly tiny shorts she preferred with an oversized sleeping shirt that probably hadn't come out of her own closet. It seemed to have come from someone a bit bigger or bustier.

It wasn't really his business that Aiko had apparently ended up taking a shower of blood yesterday. He hadn't been assigned to whatever mission she'd been on, and it was rude to pry.

"What happened last night?"

But Kakashi-senpai was kind of a rude bastard. And he was looking strangely intent on getting that answer.

Aiko blinked twice, and her gaze darted to Kakashi's nose instead of keeping eye contact. Yamato was relatively certain that meant she was about to lie. It was hard to catalogue her tells: not because she didn't have them, but because she had so many – but they were inconsistent and contradictory as far as he could tell. When she was on a mission, pretending to be bubbly meant something completely different from pretending to be bubbly in the village, and something similar applied to when she broke eye contact (and where she moved it to), what body posture she adopted, how her wording changed, etc.

For all his tactical brilliance, senpai seemed to have no ability whatsoever to read her. It was possibly because he didn't think it worth the time to invest in figuring out how to catalogue someone he'd never have to fight, but it was probably just because he didn't have the social intelligence to keep up with her rapidly changing personalities. Yamato tried not to snort at the thought.

That way only led to madness.

"Oh, last night?" Aiko rolled her eyes. "Sorry I ran out on you, Yamato." Her tone was casual. If he hadn't just seen her alter her body language, Yamato might have believed that whatever it was didn't particularly bother Aiko.

"I spent the night at the house." Aiko cracked her neck and walked right past them. The fluffy monster dog clacked in behind her, giving Kakashi a mournful look as he passed. "Hinata gets lonely when Karin and Naruto are gone," she called light-heartedly over her shoulder.

That statement was probably truthful, but a completely unhelpful digression to distract from the real issue. Yamato resisted the impulse to roll his eyes. Why not just say she didn't walk to talk about it? All three of them had known what Kakashi meant, and knew that she was deflecting. What pretense could she possibly be upholding?

Weird kid.

"I didn't end up sleeping very well before she woke me up on her way out, so I was planning on having a nice nap in my own bed." Her voice echoed oddly out of the hallway from her room. "I guess that plan is shot, though, since I can hardly go to sleep when my apartment doesn't have a door. Not very safe, is it. I'll have to remember to chidori-proof my door, but I admit I never thought it would be a problem."

That was a much better conversation change. He knew what she was doing, but he still felt a little guilty. Which probably said more about him than it did about her, since he had been uninvolved in the door breaking. Shoulders hunched in slightly, Yamato offered, "I can try to make a new door, but it'll take some time to get the dimensions exactly right. And I've never installed a lock before."

The look Kakashi gave him was mildly incredulous. "You keep the locks your landlord gives you?"

Somehow, the tone managed to convey pity, amusement at his naivety, and just a hint of scorn.

"Yes," he huffed defensively. "It specifically states in all housing contracts that changing the locks is a violation of the lease."

Kakashi looked skyward, as if praying for strength. "I suppose I have to help you, then," he grouched, looking self-pitying. Yamato momentarily felt guilty for imposing, and then he remembered who had broken the damn door in the first place. "But I can't do it without refreshments. I'm already wilting. Aiko, what do you have to drink?"

' _He's not going to let her wander away,'_ Yamato noted, amused. ' _He must really want to get an answer out of her.'_

The ploy was transparent to him, but she fell for it. "You can have water," Aiko replied flatly, coming out of her bedroom to glare at him sternly. She'd pulled loose pajama pants on over her shorts. Perhaps she was cold. "Tea is for guests who don't trash my things and let poor Yamato take the blame. He gets ice cream."

It was sort of funny to see a grown man pout, even if he certainly didn't want ice cream anyways.

* * *

Kakashi swallowed, hard, and tried not to stare as Aiko walked off into the kitchen. A very unpleasant conclusion was niggling insistently for his attention. Yamato seemed to be doing a much better job of ignoring the obvious. He almost wished that he could, because he didn't like the evidence begging for attention.

The blood he'd scented last night in Tsunade's office was the same type he'd seen in Danzo's home. That wouldn't have been completely damning if it weren't also the same scent he'd picked up on the day-old blood soaked clothing inside her door. Aiko had killed that man in Danzo's house, or been there when it had happened.

She'd been involved in ROOT.

He didn't know how, and he didn't know why. But she had. The conclusion was an inescapable as it was distressing. Some part of him had known before he'd seen the dirty clothes and the white mask that Yamato had apparently managed to persuade himself into not understanding for what it was.

It explained so many things. In the last year, she'd been almost constantly stressed and sleep deprived. Aiko had experienced a subtle but noticeable personality change, especially in regards to how antisocial and secretive she was. She was distant and less affectionate with Naruto and Sasuke, and almost fanatically protective of them. As if she was seeing dangers under every rock and around every corner. But that wasn't the only way her relationships had changed: she was much closer to Tsunade and Sai than he could see reason for. Sai was confirmed ROOT… or had been anyways, he realized sickly. Was that how they had become close—working together?

"Here's your water, you vulture." A smile that belied the words was tugging at one half of her lips when Aiko returned toting drinks. She was obviously tired, but glad to see them, despite her attempt to portray suitable grumpiness. She just didn't look like someone who had clearly drank herself into a stupor the night before and then outright ran away when Tenzou had come to her door. That was more worrying: why would she compartmentalize like that to hide things from him?

"I thought I was getting tea and ice cream," Yamato complained good-naturedly, taking his drink and a polite sip before he set it aside and cracked his fingers.

"Maybe later." Aiko turned just enough to examine the door Yamato had managed to tug off the hinges, tilting her head sideways. "All I have left is strawberry. Do you know how you're going to do this?"

Yamato visibly brightened. "I was thinking that it would be nice to decorate…"

Kakashi let his mind drift away from Tenzou's good-natured babbling about scalloped edges and to the girl who was watching him fuss with obvious fondness.

How had she kept this from them? Why would she want to?

Intellectually, he knew that question wasn't fair. She had to have been on some mission from Tsunade, since the Hokage had immediately known what he had been referring to when he'd told her that Aiko was overworked months back. He'd had missions he certainly wasn't going to talk about, even if it was legal for him to do so. Had she just been involved in the ROOT clean up, or had she really gotten tangled up in the organization? The mask and the long-term problems seemed to indicate the latter, though he'd hope the former was true.

Had she and Sai really been the ones to kill those people in Danzo's home? It had been a grotesque scene. No… someone else had to have been there. If Aiko had been sitting on the couch, she hadn't been the one to kill that poor man—she needed to touch someone to put an explosive on them— and Sai didn't have anything like that in his arsenal.

How many people did that make who had been more cognizant of what was really going on in his subordinate's life than he'd been? He'd just… he'd thought that she was just growing and didn't need him anymore. Was that true, or was she intentionally pulling away so that he didn't see what was going on?

For a reason he couldn't begin to articulate, he felt ashamed. He should have known. What kind of captain was he if he couldn't put together information about someone he knew so well just because he didn't like the conclusion?

He didn't know how or why, but she'd been involved in Tsunade's takedown of Danzo. It must have been a busy day: the scent of blood in Tsunade's office had been faint but fresh, so she'd still been working while he and Yamato were lazing about unconscious. Danzo had been taken into custody in the early afternoon. What had happened between those times?

"No, I think that you're putting those on the wrong way." Aiko gave Tenzou a skeptical little frown, poking at the metal bits he was trying to screw into the new door.

His kohai took a frustrated breath and all but pouted. "Does it really matter which way the hinge goes?" he pointed out practically. "The door will just open the other way, and it's more defensible if it opens outward."

"Is not," Aiko protested crossly. "That's so backwards."

"Tenzou, why don't you go check on your rabbit?" Both of them blinked and turned to look at him, clearly not expecting him to jump into conversation. He gave a faint smile to take the sting out of the dismissal. "Aiko can take a look at it and help you with it while I fix this."

' _If I let him fix the door, I'll just have to redo it.'_

It would be a more valuable use of Yamato's time to prod Aiko for instructions in the care of the horrible little animals they had been saddled with. He could listen in on that conversation and avoid the indignity of asking for himself. He certainly wasn't going to admit that the little bastard had bit him that morning when he'd gone into the bathroom to take a shower, but he was hoping there was an easy explanation since he had to cohabitate with the vicious monster.

Otherwise, he was going to feed it to the pack and deal with the consequences later.

The younger man nodded slowly. Aiko just looked wary. As the faint tap of Tenzou's footsteps faded down the hall, Aiko scuffed one little bare foot against the wood floor uncomfortably and looked down.

He did his best not to notice, and instead turned his attention to pulling the metal from the old door frame. "Are these really the locks that came with the apartment?"

Asking Aiko about ROOT would be a bad idea at the moment. If she had been forbidden to talk about her mission, then he would be putting her in an untenable situation and forcing her to either lie or disobey the Hokage. He didn't know which option would be worse.

So he was going to have to go to Tsunade first. After he'd taken care of his mess, of course.

* * *

"And so how many?" Tsunade asked, attempting to keep the disbelief out of her voice.

Aiko made a little 'puh' sound and looked slightly up. "Ah, I believe five."

"Five ROOT outposts that you know of?" A bit weakly, she leaned back. That was more than she'd expected. Danzo had been a busy bastard.

' _Then again, so was Aiko,_ ' Tsunade thought ruefully. In retrospect, it seemed obvious that she had been putting the girl in a bad position by giving her Fukiko. But at the time, it had made so much sense. Fukiko would be in danger if her Sharingan manifested before she was strong enough to defend herself. The obvious solution had seemed to be two-fold: have someone trusted watch over Fukiko, and have her quickly trained up, now that she was in remission. Giving Fukiko an ANBU guard would have been too conspicuous, as would have putting her under someone established like Kakashi. Aiko was strong enough to do the job, but young and inexperienced enough that no one would think it implausible that she'd gotten saddled with a clanless orphan to gauge her worth as a sensei before risking anyone valuable.

She was just grateful that Aiko was still willing to accept the assignment, although the redhead hadn't bothered to hide a strange expression when the topic had been brought up.

' _Actually, she seems far too calm, all things considered._ ' Tsunade half-heartedly took notes on what the girl was saying, but let her mind wander away from the mundane lists. As far as she knew… Aiko still hadn't chosen an ANBU contact touchstone, had she? Her lips twitched in disapproval. ' _That's dangerous. She should talk to someone. I'm not advocating full disclosure, but venting would probably help quite a bit.'_

"-any experiment data recovered?"

Tsunade blinked, now that her attention had been called for, and wracked her memory. "I don't think so," she settled cautiously.

A flash of irritation crossed Aiko's face. "Well, it's there somewhere," she grimly bit out. "Sai and I retrieved a small library from Orochimaru's base in Grass. There wa-"

"Wait, what?" Tsunade resisted the urge to leap to her feet. "Was Danzo looting, or had he been working with Orochimaru?"

"Both," came the bland reply. "I can only assume that his modifications came from Orochimaru and not from his own medic. B… Shou lacked those abilities, as do any other ROOT ANBU medics that Sai had encountered. Medicine was not emphasized in Danzo's training philosophy."

"Of course it wasn't," Tsunade muttered sourly. She'd known he didn't value her art. Kami only knew that he'd badgered her and blocked her hospital funding at every turn, back when she had been a Jounin working to revamp the institution.

"Now that I think about it, I should probably report that we encountered and eliminated four hostiles on that mission. One was unmarked, three were from Iwa. So it was possible that Orochimaru had dealings with the Tsuchikage, or it could just have been that a Sound survivor ran to them to sell information."

' _This is just getting depressing. There was so much going on under my nose that I didn't know about.'_

It was informative to know that Danzo had no compunctions about setting his agents to use fatal force against countries that they weren't at war with. Perhaps he'd been poisoning their relations with Iwa.

Probably not, though. The Tsuchikage was holding grudges from before she'd been born, and he just wouldn't up and die. As long as he led Iwa, they could never be allies.

"By the way…" Tsunade hesitated, not sure how this would go over. But she shouldn't let Aiko be surprised either. "Shou will be getting his name carved onto the Memorial stone the day after tomorrow. I imagine that your captain will tell you the same. I'm sure you know-"

"That we can't tell anyone he was a traitor," Aiko interrupted. Her tone was bored, but her jaw was just a little tight. "I know. Claiming that revelation came out the day Danzo died of totally natural causes would be too suspicious."

"Well, to be fair, we're claiming that Shou died the day before," Tsunade awkwardly informed. "But… Yes." She cleared her throat. "In any case, there's no point in going over all of this twice, so let's save the rest for when your scoundrel of a godfather is here."

Not that she particularly wanted to have that conversation. But if anyone could figure out what the hell they needed to do about a problem that involved a spy organization and a complicated seal, it was going to be him.

"Aiko." The girl halted, half to the door. "Find someone to talk to, or I will," she gently threatened. "I won't have you burying this without dealing with it. You'll burn out."

It was impossible to read anything into the way Aiko inclined her head and left silently, but Tsunade had the bizarre impression that the girl had been amused. Couldn't have been.

After Aiko left, Tsunade tried to do her best to keep from thinking about the problem. Coming up with potential solutions was less than worthless without information, but she just couldn't help it. Had taking that seal given Aiko any real authority over ROOT? Did it mean she was their leader? If so, what would happen if they dissolved it? Would ROOT agents know that there had been a shift in power, or were they scrambling blindly?

"Don't you ever knock?" She flipped to the last page of the letter she'd found only an hour ago in with her taxes for some godforsaken reason without looking up at the grump in her office. Hatake didn't say a thing, so she heaved a sigh and deigned to grace him with an exasperated look. "What is it, Kakashi-kun?"

He sauntered up to her desk, and she knew something was wrong. Tsunade stiffened a little warily, eyeing him like the predator he was. It was more than a bit unusual for her shinobi to openly show such aggression. Wordlessly, she bared her teeth in something that was less a smile and more a challenge. She'd dealt with her fair share of Inuzuka: Hatake wasn't thinking like a human right now. Being half-dog probably didn't help his social skills any, but it did make him slightly easier for her to read.

Hatake bent first, though probably out of necessity and not because he'd been cowed.

"You had Aiko in ROOT."

Hell if he wasn't too smart for his own good. It wasn't a question, so she didn't prevaricate. "I did." Her confirmation was factual. The tone seemed to infuriate him—a muscle jumped visibly in his arm, as if he was fighting the urge to resort to violence. "Don't take an attitude with me, brat. She knew what she was doing and she did it well."

If she gave him an inch, he'd take twenty miles and she'd find herself ass-up in a ditch somewhere wondering why she let someone half her age ream her out.

"You didn't tell me what was going on when I came to tell you that she was obviously overworked. You hadn't even known that." He changed rhetorical tracks smoothly, leaning in ever so slightly. "How can you say you had the situation under control when someone who had no information on the mission saw something so basic that you missed?"

She just about winced. But he'd never respect her authority again if she backed down to him, so she didn't let him bother her visibly.

"I don't have to tell you anything."

It was a better answer than it sounded. If she explained herself to him, even if she convinced him, she would have acknowledged him as an equal to whom she was accountable. Judging by the quiet rage she saw in his eye, he understood the snub for what it was.

But she wasn't without kindness, and this would solve two problems… "Talk to the girl yourself, if you're so worried." Dismissively, she turned her attention back down to the boring letter. "Don't bother m-"

Then she cut off, because he was already gone. Her lips pulled reluctantly into a fond smile. "Little shit," she mumbled, shaking her head. She'd played right into his hand, hadn't she?

* * *

Fukiko ducked her head shyly and nibbled on her lower lip, feeling her face flush a heated pink. As her classmates giggled and gaped, she obediently followed the stern-faced teenager away from where everyone else was engaging in taijutsu practice. Was she in trouble? She didn't know why she'd been pulled from classes. She'd been doing her best, she really had! Was she being dropped from the program? Worry gnawed at her belly. If she was dropped, she'd never be a shinobi like mom. She buried her shaking fingers into the pocket of her sweatshirt to disguise her nerves, and tried not to fidget too much when the older girl settled against the railings on the Academy rooftop.

"Hey, I don't bite." The redhead's tone had gentled slightly. "Fukiko-chan, right? I'm Uzumaki Aiko, but you can call me Aiko-sensei, alright?"

She froze. That was a name she knew. But it couldn't be… "The fourth Hokage's Uzumaki…?" the question trailed off as her bravery fled. "I'm sorry, that was rude." She ducked into a quick bow, heart pounding. She was so stupid. The older girl wouldn't want to work with her now.

"Ugh, everyone knows that now," came the disgruntled groan. But the older girl perked up, as if she sensed Fukiko's distress. "But yupp. We're going to be working together, so I'd like to get to know you. I'll start. I'm sixteen, and I have one otouto. He's very naughty," she confided grimly. Fukiko tried not to smile at that description of a grown-up shinobi. She'd already known there were two Uzumaki. "I have a big amorphous blob of a team. They're a bunch of silly, hopeless boys, but I love them anyways. My ninken summons are my best friends, and I like to train." She paused deliberately. When Fukiko just stared, Aiko-sensei gently prodded, "Tell me about yourself?"

"I…" Fukiko swallowed, digging down deep for courage. She could do this. This was just a conversation, not another workout where her body would fail her and everyone would laugh. And that hadn't happened in months anyways. Uchiha-sensei at the hospital would be so disappointed in her if she wasted his work. "I don't have any siblings, but I have two cousins." Her face was beet red, but she forged on. "I live with my aunt and uncle. My mom was a Chuunin kunoichi, and I want to be like her." Meekly, she twisted her fingers into the fabric of her shirt, momentum gone.

"A Chuunin, huh?" Aiko-sensei puckered her lips and seemed to stare straight through to her bones. Fukiko tried not to shiver. She'd never seen eyes like those before. Yamanaka Kaito had blue eyes too, but his were less intense in coloration and not so sharp. Whatever she read, Aiko-sensei seemed to come to a conclusion. She stood up straight and sighed, stretching her arms behind her back. "I think we can do you one better than that, Fukiko-chan. You're going to be an excellent kunoichi, but I think your mother would be proud even if you never broke genin. Do you know what kind of shinobi you want to be?"

Struck dumb, Fukiko just stared.

The older girl gave a slight smile. "I mean, specializations," she clarified. "I use fuinjutsu and taijutsu, with a little bit of kenjutsu and ninjutsu. But you can do anything that you want. We can find you a unique weapon, or train you in all of them, or try genjutsu…" she trailed off, blinking expectantly.

"Ah… Genjutsu?" Fukiko guessed. She didn't really have a preference yet.

The uncertainty must have been obvious, because Aiko-sensei looked amused. "We can try a little of everything and see what you like and what you're inclined towards." She heaved a sigh, staring up at the sky to check the time. "We should probably do something with our time today, huh? From now on, you'll be excused from Academy spars, taijutsu, and weaponry practices. Basically, you're going to learn everything but the bookwork from me. If you work hard, you can be a genin before your classmates get there." Unexpectedly, she leaned in and poked Fukiko's tummy. Her lips curled into a catlike smile at the way Fukiko squeaked in surprise and clapped her hands protectively over her front. "I'm going to expect you to do your best, got that? Sasuke-kun thinks you'll go far, so I know you can do it."

' _Uchiha-sensei thinks I…"_ Fukiko fought not to let her eyes widen too much. She didn't realize that he liked her. He was the _Hokage's_ apprentice. If he thought that she could be a good kunoichi… Well, he would know, wouldn't he?

Wait.

"You know Uchiha-sensei?" she asked quietly, trying not to hover as Aiko-sensei led her to an unfamiliar area that had to be a training facility.

Aiko-sensei looked amused. "He was my adorable little kohai, back in the day," she confided. Something positively wicked flashed in her eyes. "Now he's all grown up and sassy."

* * *

Kakashi backed away slightly, trying to conceal his startle. This hadn't been what he expected when he searched out Aiko to ask her to talk about ROOT.

' _What is she doing with that kid?'_ Uncertainly, he peered into the break in the trees where a huffing pre-teen was running sprints between two marked trees while Aiko watched. _'Is she seriously trying to train a student?'_

The child didn't even look like a genin. The brunette was a tiny thing, and he didn't see a headband anywhere.

Of course, if the girl had been a genin, she probably would have been faster than that. Kakashi chewed thoughtfully on the inside of his cheek and tilted his head slightly like a bird, watching the child tire and slow. When Aiko immediately had the girl transition to strength exercises, he became certain. _'She's gauging the girl's abilities,_ ' he concluded.

And Aiko looked strangely peaceful doing it. He hadn't seen her take up that soothing tone since Naruto and Sasuke had been ickle genin themselves.

Huh. Who'd have thought that she had any aptitude as a teacher? She hadn't learned it from him, that was for certain.

Of course, he was perhaps a bit deeper in reminiscence than was strictly advisable. By the time her voice carried over to him, it was too late to escape.

"Fukiko-chan, did you know we're being watched?"

He cringed at the mock innocent tone, which seemed strangely ominous now. It had been stupid to forget that he couldn't sneak up on her anymore, now that she had that seal on his kunai.

"My team leader is over there. Kakashi, don't be a creep."

Sullenly, he considered shunshining away. Then again, he had come to talk to her. With a sigh, he dropped to the ground and shunshin-ed forty feet to stand beside Aiko. "Yo." He creased his eye into a fake smile, watching the brunette blink up at him.

There was something very familiar about her features, but he couldn't quite put a finger on it.

"Fukiko-chan, this is Hatake Kakashi. Kakashi, this is my new student."

Well, that was confirmation. Still, he couldn't let this pass without teasing. "That explains it," he sighed, feigning boredom. "Here I wondered if you were taking a leaf out of Anko's book."

Aiko rolled her eyes and shoved at him with a palm. He playfully let the motion move his torso over, despite the lack of force behind the blow. "No, I did not steal her," Aiko confirmed dryly. "I got her from Tsunade-sama, but I suppose you can check if you don't believe me."

' _Is this what Tsunade expected me to see, or is it just a coincidence?_ ' Thoughtfully, he eyed the pre-genin. She was a nervous little thing, and steadily turning a dangerous shade of white. Odd. ' _Is this Tsunade's idea of therapy?'_

He would have laughed her out of the room if she'd suggested it to him, but Aiko really did look content. Teaching was supposed to be stressful, wasn't it? He'd thought Aiko was a snuggly hellion, and then he'd gotten a full team of the little monsters. Perhaps that was why Aiko only had one short person. She was being eased into it. Feeling generous, he nodded to the shaky pre-teen. "Nice meeting you, Fukiko-chan. I was hoping to borrow your sensei."

"We're done for the day," Aiko decided grudgingly, giving the younger girl a once-over. "Fukiko-chan, I'll take you home." She turned away before the little girl could begin to sputter that it wasn't necessary. "Be back in a minute, if that's alright."

It was alright, but it didn't much matter if it was or not because Aiko didn't wait for his reply. She picked Fukiko up like a sack of potatoes and settled her against a hip.

Kakashi briefly wondered if Aiko realized that child had to be nine or so and had certainly learned to walk by now.

"Where do you live?" Fukiko stuttered out a reply, and then the two were gone. Kakashi blinked at the flattened grass in the shape of two footprints that slowly pushed itself up.

' _She doesn't honestly have tags all over town, does she?'_

Odd. How lazy could she possibly be?

Aiko took long enough to return that he'd popped open Icha Icha by the time she rematerialized on the exact patch of grass that she'd left, yawning and stretching.

"Bit of a mouse, isn't she?" Kakashi commented bluntly, lowering his book just slightly to check her expression.

"Meh." Aiko all but collapsed into the grass, stretching out on her back with her fingers above her head. "I think she's a cute kid." Idly, she rubbed her ankles together and blinked up at the clouds.

It hardly seemed the time to start such a depressing conversation, but putting it off wouldn't help. So he put away his book. Instantly, he felt Aiko's full attention on him, and resisted the urge to give in to a wry smile. He needed to do a better job of hiding his tells, if that let her know that he was serious about something.

"You know, when I was fourteen, Shimura Danzo approached me and asked if I wanted an opportunity to take more missions," he mused. Kakashi didn't stop to check her reaction. If he asked her to talk about ROOT, she'd feel put on the spot. If he talked about his own experiences, she'd know he wouldn't judge her, and possibly feel obligated to reciprocate the openness. "Sandaime-sama had been limiting what I could do, because I was so young and he didn't want me to burn out. But I just wanted to work until I could forget everything else. I didn't realize that what ROOT did was illegal, but I might not have cared at the time either. It took me a long time to realize that what he was doing to me and to other shinobi was wrong."

Aiko rolled her head over to stare intently, hair splayed out in the grass in a riot of color. The overall effect was intense enough that he wanted to look away.

"One day, I just stopped reporting because I knew he couldn't force me. But that hadn't solved the problem. I still knew that I'd acted counter to the Hokage's interests when he trusted me, and that Danzo would just find other talented young people to manipulate and discard when they became inconvenient."

On that note.

"I suppose that's why Sai is so strange." The playful musing broke the spell of seriousness that had fallen over them.

Aiko snorted. "He's not that bad," she defended fondly, closing her eyes. "I don't think I want to hear you call other people strange." Sai was doing remarkably well, all things considered. Granted, she hadn't yet seen him to talk about the ROOT mess except in passing in Hokage Tower, where Tsunade seemed to be keeping him busy. Perhaps he would be replacing Boar as a tower guard?

Kakashi feigned hurt, blinking at her soulfully. The expression was wasted: one eye was covered, and she wasn't looking anyways.

"I suppose that now that you've shown yours, you want me to show you mine?"

He cringed. Her crude sense of humor had been more amusing when it had been Tenzou that she taunted with it. That was a most unfortunate choice of metaphor, even if the comparison regarding sharing vulnerability in hopes of reciprocation was somewhat apt.

Aiko cracked one eye open to gauge how uncomfortable she'd made him and smirked, despite the fact that he'd already wiped his face clear. She rolled her head to the side and shrugged. "ROOT was pretty dumb. I'm glad that's done."

That was an underwhelming summary. His eye narrowed in displeasure. He'd made a real effort, so she should too.

The redhead heaved a put-upon sigh and patted the grass at her side. When he didn't move, she lifted her head just enough to give him a mild glare. "I'm not going to talk to your shins."

Perhaps this was just one of her conditions for talking? Pacified, Kakashi gave in and settled in a seated position at her side, with one leg stretched out and the other slightly bent. Immediately, he realized his error when the little viper plopped her head in his lap and stared up at him cheekily, scrunching up her nose. "Thank you, I needed a pillow."

He gave serious consideration to pushing her off.

"Anyway, talking about Danzo." She wiggled her head slightly above his knees and seemed to bite at the inside of her lip in thought. "You're right, Danzo did totally suck. He threw the worst parties and I hated the matching tattoos. Someone should have suggested club t-shirts instead."

"Parties?" Kakashi repeated cautiously, not entirely certain he was following her. She blinked up at him gravely.

"Yes, parties. There ain't no party like a Danzo party, because a Danzo party is _mandatory_." She made a strange hand gesture for emphasis.

' _I'm not familiar with the type of thing I'm seeing._ ' Wisely, he didn't respond. When he didn't engage, Aiko fixed him with one of those long-suffering looks that implied she was wondering why the world didn't recognize her obvious brilliance and huffed.

"Heathen." He tried not to snort at the poorly hidden pout. She really shouldn't have given up on wearing masks. She was terrible at keeping her face blank when not on missions. Then again, maybe that wasn't so terrible. Kakashi waited patiently, tilting his head slightly in a request for more information. That had been a start, but not really comparable to what he'd shared. While her expression was first playful, as the seconds drew on, Aiko betrayed her unease by biting at her lip. Gently, he reached down and tapped the lip, lightly pulling it away from her teeth.

Her eyes narrowed slightly, but not with any sort of anger. Aiko seemed oddly vulnerable and searching. Without knowing what she was looking for, all he could do was hold eye contact.

She broke it first. "Did Danzo give you a codename?"

Well, that was a baffling conversation change. Of course he had. "Yes," Kakashi ventured cautiously, not sure where this was going.

"What was it?"

He furrowed his brow. What an odd question. "I don't remember," he said apologetically. "That was a long time ago."

' _Why did you ask that?'_

She seemed to be asking herself the same question, clearly regretting bringing up the topic. Nonetheless, she gave a soft sigh and turned her head slightly to stare at his feet, breaking any chance of having to look him in the face.

"He talked a lot about how getting emotionally involved in a mission or a partner could prevent you from doing the right thing. Danzo liked to say that was one of the best and most wasteful ways to get killed."

Well, that sounded like his kind of bullshit.

"And then he called me Sakura, so I remembered."

It took a moment for an intense loathing to rise up in his gut. That was utterly foul. "That's-"

"A lie, I know." She curled one hand up and tapped at his calf with her knuckles in a half-hearted gesture of comfort. "I can't see myself making the wrong decision because I care about people." Aiko closed her eyes, clearly indicating that she was done talking for the moment. "That's the only reason I was in ROOT."

He seriously considered asking if she wanted to talk about anything else, but she appeared to have fallen asleep by the time he'd steeled himself for more conversation. With a sigh, he settled back to wait, pulling out his book since there was still sunlight.

Ridiculous. He was too old for taking naps in dog piles. But there was no harm in letting her rest.

* * *

Tsunade didn't turn away from staring into her glass of water, even when the intruder made an obvious play for attention by scuffling one of his geta on the floor. Eventually, Jiraiya scowled and came up to lean against the back of her couch.

"You've been busy, Tsunade-hime."

Wordlessly, she flickered her eyes to look at him without turning her head. "Hello, pervert."

He rolled his eyes at her unenthusiastic greeting, and jumped over the couch to sit on her feet. He propped his legs up on her table and crossed his arms contemplatively. "So, Danzo just up and kicked the bucket, huh?" His tone was dry enough to convey skepticism, despite lacking his usual dramatic emphasis.

"Yepp," she confirmed blandly, chin braced between two fingers. "It was a surprise all around."

"And this had nothing to do with ROOT, ne?" The look he gave her implied that he would lose all respect for her if she lied to his face.

Tsunade sighed, biting on her lower lip. Grouchily, she shrugged. "Maybe just a little. That and the eleven stolen Sharingan in his arm and hidden eye socket, but he probably would have survived that surgery. Removing the mokuton genetic material he'd attached all the way to his bone was perhaps the final straw."

There was a long moment where he was very still. "I was not aware of this, Tsunade-hime."

"I know." She flexed her foot against his thigh in a rare gesture of comfort. "To be fair, I wasn't either, until the end. Speaking of the end, there's a seal I need you to look at."

Jiraiya scoffed loudly. "If that's not a soothing transition, I don't know what is." He heaved a dramatic sigh. "Let me guess: you want me to try to pick apart his tongue seal again? You got a whole organization running loose now?"

Tsunade didn't laugh. "I wish that was all," she grunted, tilting her chin up to look at the ceiling. "Although, I do need to figure out what the hell to do with them. I was hoping for your help there, too. My agent hasn't done a full debriefing yet, but I was hoping that you could help me use what she has to track down them all before they can scatter. No, I was talking about something different. Danzo had some large, complicated seal on his chest. I had no idea what it was for, but Aiko hypothesized that it was intended to fail with an explosion when he died."

"This oughta be good," Jiraiya muttered.

Ignoring the interruption, Tsunade continued. "Which is why she peeled it off him and put it on herself before he died."

Something odd flickered in his expression, and she took a moment to hope that he'd take the bait and the tangent about sealing. Alas, it was not to be.

"Before he died?" Jiraiya repeated mockingly. "That's a nice euphemism." His gaze was hard and sullen, jaw set tightly. "So she was your ROOT plant, then?" He pinned her with a confrontational look. "You know, you're the worst goddamn day care I've ever heard of."

Tsunade was surprised into a barking laugh at his irreverence, despite knowing just how serious he must be. "I thought we already had a conversation about your godchildren being adults," she deflected.

"Which makes it just dandy for you to let them fight Akatsuki, when one of them is a target and the other one is the best bait for him." The sarcasm was poisonous.

"They're involved," Tsunade snapped back defensively. "Naruto deserves to be able to fight for himself! If you didn't want them to become shinobi, you should have raised them outside of Konoha. You don't get to avoid them for fifteen years and then claim parental privilege."

"Oh really?" Jiraiya sneered at his old teammate. Bitterness was making them both ugly. "That's awfully high-handed coming from you. What right do you have to talk about avoiding duties? You were a missing nin in everything but name for twenty years. I was at least still serving."

"At least I didn't—" Tsunade cut herself off, grimacing. She leaned back shamefaced, and quietly deflected, "We're acting like children. This isn't what you're upset about and we both know it. Dragging up old history won't change anything." She met his eyes wearily. "You're not wrong. I screwed up at least once with one of your kids."

' _More than once. I put that little girl into a situation where she had to kill her own teammate. How didn't I see it?'_

She couldn't say that. A secret like that wasn't hers to tell, although it was so likely to be damaging that she'd need to interfere with Aiko's mental health directly. If Tsunade didn't take responsibility, the girl could leave that situation with the worst possible message. No one should have to make that decision.

It was a struggle, but she didn't look aside despite the bleakness of her thoughts. "I thought I'd gotten Aiko killed," she confided quietly, fingers curling into a fist at her chest. "I didn't believe her when she told me that the Ame woman was up to something. Her only evidence was that this kunoichi was walking around at night. So I told her she could investigate on her own and went back to bed." Her lips twisted bitterly. "If I'd gone with her…"

"She might not have been kidnapped," Jiraiya finished bluntly. But he relaxed, a little pitying now that he saw she was genuinely remorseful. "But she got out on her own, huh? Her dad was always slippery too."

"Minato had more sense," Tsunade huffed, eyes wearier than he'd seen before. "I'm scared for that girl. I think sensei made a mistake by not giving her a genin team to learn cooperation, and I made it worse by putting her in ANBU ROOT. It's so seldom that it honestly even occurs to her to ask for help." She looked down. "And I turned her down one of the few times she thought to ask."

"To be fair, I might have thought she was overreacting too," Jiraiya comforted awkwardly. "Walking around in a hotel at night isn't exactly proof positive of conspiracy."

Tsunade snorted. "Whose side are you on, anyways?" She shoved at him with her foot, mood momentarily lightened. "Aren't you supposed to be going all, 'roar, protective daddy' on me? She really could have died. Kid looked like complete hell when she came back." Her lightened attitude fled, and she heaved a derisive laugh. Grimly, she confided, "Akatsuki really did a number on her. Most of it's cosmetic. She's got about eighty percent of a left ear now, and scarring from small projectiles and a crappy healing. But…" Tsunade gave a guilty glance at him, before admitting, "She really should have died. If she didn't have that Uzumaki resilience, she would have. That Ame kunoichi must have really clocked her from behind, and then didn't do anything about the fact that her brain was hemorrhaging for days. I'd say it was a miracle she made it back, but it was really criminal hard-headedness."

Jiraiya's lips tightened. "Sounds like we should be taking a closer look at Ame."

"About that…" Tsunade hesitated, mulling over what she was considering saying. "At the time, it slipped my mind. But Aiko's report made me… Well, it doesn't make any sense. I know she's supposed to be dead. But…"

"What are you trying to say, hime?" Jiraiya prodded gently. She stared at him thoughtfully for a moment, before seeming to give in. With a sigh, she gave in.

"I didn't immediately recognize her. But how many blue-haired kunoichi from Ame named Konan could there really be?"

Jiraiya froze stiff.

Tsunade deflected her gaze and continued. "It wasn't until I had Aiko's report that I really believed it was the same girl. Aiko talked about her using paper based jutsu, and-"

"No," he interrupted softly, before raising his voice. "No, it can't be. They died."

"Apparently, they didn't." Tsunade broke the news as gently as possible, but there was just no way to feel comfortable about giving such mixed news. Had the circumstances been different, she would have loved to be able to tell him that he had at least one surviving student, despite the dubious silence she'd kept for so long. But as it was…

"Konan in Akatsuki?" His voice was as broken as she'd ever heard.

They'd have to kill her. She was threatening their people. Jiraiya loved all his students, but he loved his godchildren more, both on their own merits and as the last remnants of his apprentice. Minato had practically been his own son.

* * *

Notes on rabbits: These are wild animals, not properly domesticated pets. Yamato may be snow white in a flak jacket, but Kakashi smells like predator. Any wild animal would try to fight or flee in that situation. ...Tigress may have been well-named.


	93. Reactions, Equal and Opposite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted two chapters on the same day again, so be sure you've read the last one. I know, that's a terrible habit.

' _Those are boobs that I never wanted to see,'_ Jiraiya thought a bit glumly, feeling simultaneously like the worst kind of dirty old man and disappointed in himself for failing to be the great super pervert all the time. No one was perfect, of course, but he had high standards. Speaking of which.

"Why the hell did the fact that Danzo had this on his chest mean that you put it on yours?" He groused good-naturedly, using an ink brush to trace along a line to try to discern where it ended and where the overlapping strokes began. "The stomach gate would have worked just as well." And that way, he wouldn't have to stare at his goddaughter in a skimpy bra. Aiko shrugged, causing his brush to slip ever so slightly.

"It wasn't like I put a lot of planning into it," she defended mildly. "I didn't have an abundance of time." Helpfully, she tugged the fabric on her left breast a few centimeters over to expose the end of the tattoo.

Jiraiya flickered his eyes skyward and prayed for strength, and then did his level best to pretend he wasn't staring at boobs. It was just a canvas for an insidious seal; that was all. Just a seal condensed about the size of his goddaughters hand, which she had apparently pressed over her chest in a slightly off-center way, slipping barely over and under the base of her right breast and almost to the peak of-

' _Think professional thoughts,_ ' Jiraiya commanded himself. _'No matter how uncomfortable this is, it has to be done.'_

But, boobs! He choked down a sob. He'd never forgive Tsunade for making him do this. She could have found another seal mas… okay, so that was untrue. He glared a little resentfully at the matrix in front of his face and tried not to breathe the scent of what appeared to be an alluring mixture of rosewater and dog in too deeply. Apparently, Aiko hadn't really figured out that as an attractive young woman, she was supposed to _not_ smell like dogs. It was charming, in a way that helped him remember that he was not intending to view her as a sexual entity. Nope, just his goddaughter, who was still silly enough to roll around in the dirt with horribly hairy dogs instead of getting a nice, dignified summons. For her height, though, she'd grown enormous- gah!

"It's strange," Aiko commented, sounding genuine. "Usually when I move a seal, it acts like one of my own and it loses visibility until chakra is channeled into it. Is this one ever going to behave like that?"

"No," he snorted, taking a moment to regret teaching her how to make her own seals before she'd really been taught the mid-level theory. Talent, creativity, and insight were just a recipe for trouble without the rote knowledge of all the things that could and had gone terribly wrong in the past. In his short experience, Uzumaki were curious as cats, and nearly twice as likely to get their fool selves blown up. Mostly on account of how cats didn't have thumbs and explosives.

To be fair, he'd never trained an Uzumaki before. Could he really be blamed for misunderstanding what it meant to have a student with an Uzumaki's touch and instinct for fuinjutsu as opposed to being a fuinjutsu _genius_ like Minato? Because they were very different creatures.

Jiraiya resigned himself to teaching. "You were right that this was meant to fail when Danzo died. That means that it's only dangerous when it becomes inactive. Your seals become visible when they're active or forcibly jolted with chakra, right? Well, this one is always active, and thus always visible. Worry when you can't see it," he joked darkly.

Aiko was the last person who'd have to worry about this seal when it faltered, on account of the fact that she'd have to have recently come down with a bad case of 'deceased' for that to happen.

At the moment, he really didn't see a solution. He really didn't want to experiment with a volatile explosive on someone he didn't want blown up.

He settled back with a sigh, and rubbed at his chin contemplatively. "Are you sure Danzo said that this would kill the ROOT agents when he died?"

Aiko blinked at his skeptical tone, and her eyes took on that distant quality that generally meant she was lost in thought. "I asked what would happen to 'us' when he died, and he said that he had no successor. He said that we would pass with him," she recited easily.

Jiraiya groaned, and slapped his forehead.

"What?" His goddaughter blinked up at him, honestly perplexed by his reaction.

"I think that you two were experiencing a fundamental misunderstanding," Jiraiya managed, trying not to giggle at just how hopelessly bad at communication Danzo and Aiko must have been as a conversational pair. "Think on what he said: you were referring to ROOT as individuals, right? I think he was referring to ROOT as a group. His statement that he had no successor makes more sense in a context that assumes he was talking about what would happen to the _organization_ after his death, not the individuals who make it up. He probably meant that ROOT would fall apart, since he didn't trust anyone else with a small army."

Danzo hadn't been completely divorced from reality. If several hundred of Konoha's shinobi just dropped over at once, it would negatively impact their ability to do their jobs. He'd been pro-Konoha, one hundred and crazy percent, not an idiot.

"What," Aiko said flatly.

If the situation had been different, he might have laughed at her put out expression. Instead, he nodded solemnly. "Yes, if you'd taken him to detonate outside of Konoha, there probably would have been no repercussions except that Tsunade would have to come up with a really good story for his wake when someone inevitably asks why it looked like he was squeezed through a fine mesh strainer on the way over."

His goddaughter was slowly turning red. Standing by the sink, Tsunade slapped a palm to her forehead.

Amused despite himself, he forced his expression to remain merely curious. "Shame that you tried to do the noble thing, and ended up just making a hassle for yourself and got a tattoo for your trouble," he sighed theatrically. "I don't think I can remove it, by the way. It's severely unstable after what you did to it." He heaved a careless shrug. "Here's hoping you learn to love the way it looks."

It was kind of cool-looking, if the observer wasn't much of a seal-smith. If they were… Well, it would take a brave man to squeeze those boobies after having seen twirls of explosive notes on them.

' _As her godfather, should I be in support of scary seals that decrease the likelihood of boobie squeezing?_ ' he wondered philosophically. He didn't really care if she got laid or not, but it seemed like a godfatherly concern to have.

"When it was on him, it was expressed in utilitarian black bars," Aiko said stiffly, as if that would help her situation.

Jiraiya nodded indulgently. "Like I said, you destabilized it. Bet it hurt going on, huh? You peeled off the polishing layer that was holding everything all neat." He mindlessly poked the seal, and then drew his thumb back as if burnt when the flesh under it gave in a way that reminded him exactly what he was touching. In an attempt to retain nonchalance, he quickly finished, "That's why you have this here. It's the underlying structure. Do me a favor, and don't try to move anything explosive again, okay kid?"

Maybe, given time to play with the sketch he'd made, he could figure out a way to gradually filter out the chakra locks that weaponized the damn thing, but he hardly wanted her playing around with it. Just wasn't smart.

She closed her eyes, leaned her face forward into her palms, and gave a quiet whimper. Through her hands, she glumly mumbled out, "I'm going to end up the most scarred-up, disfigured kunoichi there has ever been, aren't I?"

"It's not that bad," he tried to reassure her, even while a smile tugged at his lips. Who knew she had a spot of vanity?

"Well, out you go," Tsunade said briskly, tossing Aiko's shirt back to the girl. The teen blinked, but pulled it on over her head and hustled out of the examination room as best as she could. She lingered uncertainly at the doorway for a moment.

"Ah, do I need to come back?"

"I'll call you if I need you." The mask of polite detachment stuttered on Tsunade's face, and Aiko's eyes widened. Wisely, she beat a quick retreat out into the ANBU facility. Tsunade instantly looked pissed and rounded on him. "Why did you tell her that, you numbskull?"

Jiraiya blinked at her, honestly not understanding what he had done wrong. "I'm not sure I deserve that," he grumbled, furrowing his brow.

Tsunade rolled her eyes and slapped the back of his head. "That girl had one humanitarian impulse, and then you went and told her it was a waste of her time!" she snapped. Slapping him didn't seem to have satisfied her need to punish him, so she grabbed his shoulders with her scary claw-fingers and shook him in time with her next words. "That's not how you reward shinobi when they show improvement," she practically hissed. "Positive reinforcement is the first lesson in management!"

' _Which clearly, you have mastered,'_ thought the man who had just done Tsunade a favor despite the severe discomfort the situation put him through.

A little frightened that this was about to devolve further, he dropped to his knees to escape her grip and held his hands out placatingly. "Calm down, hime! Think about what you're saying. Was I supposed to lie to her? She'd figure it out eventually," he wheedled. "Aiko isn't _that_ thick, and she has a personal interest. Wouldn't it be even worse if she found out we misled her?"

"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled, before heaving a sigh. "So how is this going to affect how we deal with ROOT?

* * *

"What are you doing?" Yukimasa's voice called out curiously.

Guiltily, Aiko jerked away from the closed examination door and blinked up at her captain innocently. He looked incongruously windswept, as though he'd been fluffing up his dark hair absentmindedly. "Being damned with faint praise," she informed him sweetly, and then started walking before he could figure out she'd been eavesdropping on the Hokage and scold her. "Fancy seeing you here."

"We have a training session in an hour," he cautiously informed her, as if he thought she really didn't know that.

' _Yes, thank you, captain obvious. Is the sky still blue? How about water, is it wet?'_

"I know," she simply replied. "Is there anything edible in the cafeteria today? I'm peckish."

Yukimasa snorted, eyes looking even wearier than usual. "Has there ever been anything edible there?" he asked rhetorically. When she didn't change direction, he winced. "You're seriously going to eat there?" When she didn't respond to the incredulous tone or change her path, he hastily added, "I'm pretty sure we only have the cafeteria as a way to punish recruits."

Aiko shrugged. "S'not that bad."

The look he gave her would have been more fitting if he'd walked in on her stabbing herself with needles.

' _Drama queen. Everything served there is perfectly nutritious. If unidentifiable.'_

He gave a suspicious stare to the plate she filled, but grudgingly deigned to sit at the same table with her. Before she took a bite, Aiko took a moment to examine him. She thought she knew what was going on, but couldn't really let on. May as well give him an opening. "Is there any particular reason you're hovering, captain? I think I'll survive the mystery meat without an A-class assist."

"I think that's supposed to be tofu," he deflected, running his hand through his hair in a way that didn't do much to hide that he was stressed. At her unimpressed expression, he gave a sigh and admitted, "I have some bad news. But I'd like to wait for Aoto to show up."

' _Yepp, he's found out about Shou,_ ' her mind filled in glumly. _'I'm going to have to do some acting. It would be inhuman to be completely unaffected, but sincerity would be a bad approach. As far as they know, I have no reason to feel guilty.'_

That decided, she let her brow crease a little in worry and gave him a searching look, as if thinking over the implications of the fact that he hadn't mentioned waiting for Boar as well, but let the topic drop. She ate lightly, knowing that it would be a bad idea to have a heavy stomach before a workout, but also not eager to work out on an empty stomach.

When she heard the words, "Boar died in action," a few minutes later, Aiko allowed her body to become very still. Her eyes she purposefully widened just an iota, and her jaw clenched. This would have been easier if they hadn't ditched masks for training after they'd traded names, but she could still trick two people who were caught up in their own thoughts.

It did feel awful and strange to try to practice team drills with just three people. Yukimasa called a halt early, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I think we'll call it for the day," he decided softly, green eyes troubled.

' _We'll probably have a replacement soon,_ ' Aiko thought a little regretfully as she changed back into street clothes and left the room she maintained in the ANBU dorms. The idea of working with someone else on patrols left an unpleasant taste in her mouth.

Not that the team was always exactly the same—when one of them was on another mission that conflicted with patrol duty, a replacement was slotted in to keep the roster full, but that was different from an actual change to the team.

' _What did you expect?_ ' She scolded herself irritably, yanking her hair out of a ponytail with a bit too much force and all but stomping down the hall and out of the building. It was an almost obnoxiously beautiful day, but Aiko didn't spare so much as a thought for her change of surroundings. _'You killed your teammate, obviously things can't go back to normal. Grow the hell up, dummy.'_

"Oh, hey! Aiko."

She blinked away from her thoughts and turned to visually search through the crowds for the source of that familiar voice.

"I didn't know you were back," she greeted neutrally. Her tone didn't match the way she dutifully opened her arms up for a hug, which Naruto bounded into. Karin and Sasuke trudged behind, looking just as filthy as the blond, but less cheerful about it.

"We just came in," Karin sighed, adjusting her glasses and rubbing futilely at caked-in dirt that looked like the world's worst tan line under her right eye. "The whole Akatsuki hunting thing isn't going as planned."

Naruto scoffed at her and waved a mocking finger in his cousin's face. "Tsk tsk, we're not supposed to talk about our mission before we debrief," he playfully scolded.

Once the irony inherent in that statement had sunk in, Sasuke reached out robotically to punch Naruto in the gut. "First of all, it's Aiko, not an enemy nin," he sighed. "And secondly, protocol isn't funny. I hate to say it, but the moron is inadvertently right. We need to go report."

"Have fun with that," Aiko waved them off, feeling amused despite herself. They really did look good as a team: long suffering Sasuke herding the much more energetic and naughty Uzumaki around like brightly colored cats winding around his ankles for attention. Their skill sets were complementary as well, despite the fact that there were two medics on the team, a situation that was normally tactically untenable. Karin and Sasuke were both sufficiently sturdy that they would be assets, not dead weight in need of protection. All three of them had both close range and long range skills, and contracts with scarily heavy-duty summons. They were pretty well prepared to complete any non-specialized mission that didn't involve subtlety or diplomacy.

' _Maybe Tsunade-sama will keep them as a team, for nostalgia's sake if nothing else. Snake, slug, and toad makes a good combat combination.'_

She stopped in her tracks when she reached her apartment. Not because anything was necessarily wrong, but because someone seemed to have made the mistake of thinking that her apartment belonged to someone else.

"Ah, hello?" Aiko asked uncertainly. The burly man leaning against the wall unfolded to look at her—and she blinked in recognition. "Ah, Akimichi-san," she greeted uncertainly.

He gave her a good-natured grin. "Come now, didn't I tell you to call me Choza?"

' _Oh. I guess he remembers.'_

"Did you?" she asked noncommittally, juggling her keys. "That was a while ago." 'And I didn't expect you to seek me out,' she finished silently. He seemed to pick up on that, and raised an eyebrow at her.

"It seems like yesterday to me." He straightened and stepped away from the wall. "I don't mean to be rude, but may I come in? I'd like to speak with you."

' _About what happened in Rouran? What really needs to be discussed?'_

She was confused, but obligingly enough held the door out. "I'm afraid I don't think I have any house shoes in your size," she admitted apologetically as she switched out her own shoes. Choza was built far bigger than Kakashi or Yamato. He didn't seem to mind skidding around in his socks as she prepared tea, so Aiko shrugged the breach in decorum off.

"So…" she began uncertainly, not sure how to ask 'why are you in my house' without seeming rude. It wasn't as if she was particularly put-out by his presence. From her little experience with him, he seemed like a nice man.

Luckily, he took pity on her. "Nasty business with Danzo, eh?"

It wasn't an opening she was expecting. "Excuse me?" Aiko asked cautiously, hiding her mouth behind her cup.

Choza seemed amused. "Come now, no need to try to keep things from me. I was the one who poisoned him. You can hardly incriminate yourself to me."

Oh. That made more sense. "I wondered how Tsunade-sama had taken care of things," Aiko admitted frankly. "She moved much more quickly than I had anticipated."

"An understatement, I'm sure," Choza snorted. "Danzo's being painted pretty for the sake of village security, but the small council knows the gist of what happened. Indirectly, that's why I'm here, by the way." He took a small sip and politely put down his tea. "Were you aware that the small clan head council was voting on whether or not the Uzumaki should be on the large council?"

Bemused, Aiko shook her head. "No, but I wouldn't mind losing that," she admitted honestly. "It would be a relief. I only accepted the nomination because I had to."

He stared at her for a moment, and then tossed his head back in a genuine laugh. "Aiko-chan, you're killing me." Choza patted the table in a strange gesture she didn't recognize, before helpfully elaborating. "I mean that they think it's demeaning to put a clan that Konoha has recognized as allies since the time of the first on the large council. You're officially invited to the small council."

His expression was open and friendly. She almost felt bad for groaning audibly and cradling her head in her hands. It was a concerted effort not to whine, 'seriously?' like a bratty preteen. Of course he was serious. He wouldn't come over here just to mess with her head. A hand the size of a dinner plate reached out to comfortingly pat her shoulder.

"You know," he began cautiously; "you don't have to accept."

Optimistically, she lifted her head just a bit to peek at him through her fingers.

"Really?"

He seemed to be stifling a smile at the hopefulness in her voice. His eyes were crinkling up slightly. "Really," Choza confirmed solemnly. "It'll still be there for you, but it can be deferred for quite some time. No one can make you accept the seat, not even the Hokage."

"That _is_ the person I was worried about pressuring me," Aiko half-grumbled, too cheered to really be properly resentful of how bossy Tsunade could be. "That wouldn't have any negative repercussions?"

Choza seemed to waver slightly. "Well, yes and no," he admitted. "It depends on what you want. How familiar are you with the laws governing clan conventions?"

Aiko gave him a blank stare as an answer. He seemed a little outraged by that.

"No one taught yo- Of course they wouldn't have," he interrupted himself with a sigh, smoothing a hand over his chest armor in thought. "Kushina would have been the one who'd do that for you." The clan head fixed her with a sympathetic look. "She was a remarkable woman," he confided solemnly. "I can't replace her, but if you'd like, I could try to remedy that gap in your education."

It seemed like a suggestion that would only help her.

' _But I can hardly ask what his angle is,_ ' she scolded her paranoid mind, even as she struggled for a response. _'That'd be rude, especially since he's offering to do me a favor.'_

Choza seemed to have some hint as to her dilemma, because his face softened into a soothing smile. "I regretted not doing right by you kids," he admitted softly. "I told myself that it wasn't my business, and that you seemed to be growing up perfectly well. Besides, I could never have explained why I cared, since we were forbidden to so much as hint about your parentage until Tsunade made the information public. But Minato was my teammate and my friend. He would be proud to see the young woman you've become. I think you should know that."

She was struck completely dumb, and more than a bit uncomfortable. Would he really have been proud of her? And why was Choza reaching out to her and not Naruto?

"Your brother seems to have found confidants," he continued.

' _That was positively uncanny_ ,' Aiko thought, bewildered. Was she really so obvious, or was he just that insightful?

Minato'd had odd moments like that too, now that she thought about it. Maybe it was some secret jutsu that fathers had. Like how mothers and Hyuuga had 'eyes in the back of the head no jutsu', supposedly.

Or perhaps that had been a joke and she'd just misunderstood? The woman who'd said that at market had laughed afterwards. It sort of sounded like a useful jutsu. She hoped it was real.

"He's good at finding parental figures, actually," Choza continued with a mild smile that took the potential sting out of the words and their corollary implication that Aiko wasn't good at endearing herself to possible parental figures. "Don't think the village didn't talk about him calling the Sandaime 'grandfather'," he chortled fondly. His eyes went a little misty when he continued, "and Ichiraku-san nearly went out of business when he first started encouraging Naruto to hang around the stall. It took intentional intervention from cooler heads who understood more than most what it means to have a bijuu sealed to keep him enough patronage to stay afloat. But he couldn't have known that anyone would advocate for him. A businessman doesn't endanger his livelihood lightly. No, Naruto seems to be doing fine."

"But I don't play well with others," Aiko completely dryly when he seemed to be struggling for words. "No, it's fine. I know I'm not half as charismatic as Naruto is." She shrugged to show she really didn't mind. "But I get along fine, and I don't really need to be taken care of."

Choza regarded her sadly for a moment before painting on a little smile. "Doesn't hurt to have a friendly ear, though, does it?" he asked rhetorically, politely removing his gaze. "Hatake-san is a good man, but I doubt that he routinely sat you down to talk about your feelings when you were a genin."

Involuntarily, she snorted. He most certainly had not.

"Alright," Aiko gave in on an impulse. "I would love to learn from you, Choza-san."

"Wonderful!" He clapped his hands. "How does tonight sound? You should know your options, before a reply is required."

That first time she met his family for dinner (because conversations with friends are best had over food, Aiko-chan) it rapidly became apparent that there was a lot that she didn't know. For example, that he could help her access sealed records of her clan's history, and that Minato had once eaten so much mochi that he threw up gelatinous pink vomit on the Fire Lady's shoes at a cherry tree viewing festival. Luckily, she didn't recognize him ten years later when he was sworn in as Hokage, or it might have been awkward.

It was weird to sit at a table with someone else's family and learn about her own, but she could get used to it.

* * *

"Can't I bring my only adorable godchild a gift when I see them for the first time in a very long time?" Jiraiya wheedled, holding out the eldritch abomination dangerously close to invading her personal bubble. Aiko took an unsubtle step backwards.

"I'm your godchild too," Naruto pointed out distractedly, even as he flipped through the book of pre-made sealing notes he'd been gifted.

"Yeah, but you're not cute," Sasuke helpfully filled in, none too subtly peering over the blond's shoulder. At least, until Naruto dropped the notes to the ground and leapt at him.

Aiko ignored the ensuring fight where Naruto tried to tackle Sasuke to the ground to get him to admit that he was adorable, believe it, and gave Jiraiya a weary expression. She was perfectly fine with him pretending that they hadn't already exchanged their greetings. This was less fine.

"How old do you think I am?" she asked skeptically. His eyes watered in surprisingly convincing grief, so she reluctantly reached out and accepted the oversized plush frog. "Thanks," she lied unconvincingly. "I'll treasure it always."

' _and burn it immediately.'_

"Isn't it adorable?" he giggled, reaching out to tweak her nose.

She closed her eyes and grimaced, tolerantly enduring his attempts to embarrass her. Okay, enough was enough. "If you're going to buy my affections, you're going to have to step it up," Aiko warned him. The glint of amusement on his eyes let on that he wasn't really insulted, so she continued even as he mimed heartbreak. "I'm thinking something that sparkles."

"How shallow, Aiko-chan," he cooed, wiping away a fake tear. "Maybe you're just being bitter that I never shared my contract with you. How would you feel about-"

"No, that's fine," Aiko interrupted. The slightly high pitch and sudden interjection betrayed enough obvious weakness that all three of the males in the clearing turned to give her an evaluative stare. She took a moment to curse Jiraiya for ambushing them as they waited on Kakashi for training. Shinobi were drawn to weakness, unfortunately. Hazard of the trade. Even as she cursed herself for the tactical error, Sasuke slowly drew one eyebrow up with an unpleasant smirk.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say that someone was afraid of Jiraiya's summons," he commented archly.

' _You traitorous bastard,'_ Aiko thought furiously, pinning him with a glare that said one more word would be the reason she snapped and stabbed him with the straw from her juice box. He was silenced.

Unfortunately, it was impossible to cow the other two. They were sharing a crooked smile that rather unpleasantly reminded Aiko that they were both tricksters.

"Don't be dumb," she bluffed, turning her face away as if bored. Her hand clenched around her juice box just a little too tightly to truly be casual. "Who on earth would be bothered by toads?"

' _Toads the size of cats, that smell strange and moldy and they're slimy and eughhh'._

"So this doesn't bother you at all?" those two rotten bastards asked in unison, each suddenly holding a toad out at arm's length into her general vicinity. Aiko gave an unwilling jolt and an 'eep' sound, and sucked in a steadying breath.

"Of course not."

The lie might have been more convincing if she wasn't carefully leaning away from actual contact with the confused looking amphibian in Naruto's hands. Jiraiya chuckled unpleasantly.

* * *

Kakashi closed his eye experimentally and tried again to see if the scene would change. Nope. Aiko was still shrieking and running away from her brother, who appeared to be doing his level best to stuff a toad down her shirt. He couldn't catch her, but that wasn't stopping him from trying.

"Isn't he a little old to be doing this?" he asked Jiraiya, uncertainty plain in his voice.

The toad sannin just shrugged. He was holding two obnoxiously oversized stuffed toads, which Kakashi decided not to ask about. "Never too old for that," Jiraiya deflected. Then he dumped one of the stuffed toads in Kakashi's arms and shared an amused look with Sasuke. Strange, that they were getting alon-

Too late, he realized the toad was not, in fact, stuffed at all. Manfully, he dropped the indignant amphibian and jumped backwards, giving both of them a glare.

"Naruto, that's enough," he barked out, taking what little control of the situation he could. It was impossible to scold Jiraiya, so he didn't even try. "Leave your sister alone." To the sniffling redhead who was murmuring something incoherent about ickiness in between shudders, he added with a sigh, "Aiko, use your words." After a moment's contemplation, he added, "or your kunai."

He wasn't completely unsympathetic to her plight, after all. Toads were rather unpleasant.

After a moment of staring glumly down at his hands which were now far too filthy to touch his precious book, the sole female seemed to take his words to heart, irritation taking over now that the immediate danger of toad slime on her skin had fled. "You," Aiko growled, whirling on her brother with an unusually flushed cheeks and wide eyes. Naruto recoiled. A moment later, so did Sasuke when she turned her glare on him.

Kakashi purposefully shuffled to the side, out of her direct line of sight.

"You..." she struggled for words, before bursting out, "I just want you to know every time you laugh at the pervert sannin for peeking at half-naked women, that's going to be you forty years from now." Jiraiya was beginning to whine about not being that old, but Aiko cut him off mercilessly. "Because you do immature gross things like that around girls, you're going to have to resort to spying because no woman is ever going to touch you _down there_." With one last bit of drama, she gave a Vanna White-esque sweeping motion at Jiraiya, who seemed unpleasantly surprised to be the center of her demonstration. "Behold, the future," she all but hissed. Then she flipped her hair over her shoulder and stomped out.

Kakashi watched it all happen, and wondered if she'd forgotten they'd agreed to a group workout. Jiraiya-sama was an artist, and a connoisseur of romance, but she had something of a point.

The boys looked stricken.

' _Time to get some payback,'_ Kakashi thought, remembering that there was mucus on his sleeve and not feeling particularly charitable.

He heaved a sigh and put his hands in his pockets, slumping casually. "You know," he mused, "As your sister, Aiko is ideally placed to ruin any relationship you ever have, Naruto." As the blond flinched, Kakashi turned to Sasuke. "And how is re-building your clan going, Sasuke? Do you _actually know_ any women under thirty other than Aiko? Maybe you should be nicer too."

It wasn't entirely a stretch. Sasuke spent time with Tsunade, Shizune, Keiko the secretary, annnd no other females as far as he'd ever seen. If he wasn't planning on splitting in thirds to form generation 2.0 of the Uchiha clan, he'd have to either sweet-talk Aiko or make at least one female friend. With his lovely social demeanor… Well, he was lucky one woman his approximate age tolerated him, Kakashi thought rather hypocritically.

Sasuke blanched at the jab. One eye began twitching uncontrollably.

' _Perhaps he just short-circuited_ ,' he thought with amusement. _'Quick, someone teach the robot to love.'_

Kakashi turned to Jiraiya, who seemed to be warily waiting for his scolding as well. He merely shook his head pityingly and turned away as if there was just no hope there. Jiraiya looked torn between outrage and insecurity.

The boys were unavoidable casualties. It was tragic all around, but they were necessary sacrifices in order to really strike a killing blow at the heart of the man who had dumped a toad on his hands.

"Kakashi has no room to talk. It's not like he gets any gets any dates," he heard Sasuke mutter sullenly as he took off.

' _And that one is going to be running laps with Gai tomorrow,_ ' Kakashi decided, irritated. ' _At four in the morning. No, three.'_


	94. That Man's Brain is a Bag of Cats

There was something disconcertingly clinical about the way that Sai let his fingers trail over the lines of the seal on her chest, despite the fact that the slow glide of his fingertips sent shivers up her neck. Unconsciously, Aiko leaned into the touch—and then sighed when he drew his hand back proportionally to keep studying the new tattoo.

A bit grouchily, she settled back into her old position, seated on her bed with bent knees. When he sat at her side like that and leaned over her knees… Well, her thoughts didn't go to fuinjutsu, to say the least.

"Are you certain this is safe?"

Aiko picked his hand off and flopped back down onto the bed, fed up with his worrying. Easily, she dug her toes under the covers crumpled at the edge of the bed and watched with satisfaction as he snapped to attention, seemingly mesmerized at the way the movement made her breasts bounce. That was more like it. There was something off-putting about having a boy stare at you while in a bra in a way that implied he might have been thinking about making lunch. "Yes, Sai," she drawled. "Jiraiya-sama himself told me that leaving it was the best course of action for now. I'm not going to up and explode."

Sai frowned, (though whether it was because he didn't like the reminder that Jiraiya had seen her shirtless or that he wasn't convinced about the seal's safety remained to be seen) but let the topic slide. Instead, he stood to slip his own shirt off and neatly placed it at her bedside, piling his weaponry on top of it.

"You're spending the night?" Aiko confirmed, mildly surprised. He hardly ever did that. Not that it was a problem, of course, they were both adults and she could sleep alone.

Well, okay. A lot of the time she slept with Mitsuo and Hōseki. But she totally could sleep alone if she had to. It was just nicer to have a warm body.

Sai nodded and pulled the covers at the end of the bed up to stretch over her body before slipping in himself. "I leave on a mission tomorrow."

Aiko frowned and rolled onto her side, propping her jaw up with one hand and resting the other on his chest. She absentmindedly tangled their ankles together, as if in a subconscious effort to prevent him from leaving. "Again? I think I'm still stuck in the village." She was correct, of course.

The next day, Aiko found herself picking Fukiko up from school. It felt strangely maternal in a way that wasn't unpleasant, but made her a bit self-conscious. Luckily, taking the girl out to work on taijutsu erased that lingering sense of oddity.

It did bring up one depressing point, however. Fukiko had the initial Academy stances memorized, and a fair few of the kata, but she had no practice whatsoever in taking those lessons and turning it into martial arts that was useful for a fight. Not only did she completely lack an aggressive instinct, Fukiko faltered and let her carefully memorized stances slip whenever she was asked to use any respectable speed whatsoever.

That observation, which she had initially hoped was a passing phase, didn't fade in the practices that followed. Fukiko became faster and stronger through physical conditioning. She demonstrated an adequate grasp of both tactics and strategy. But her slow plod towards taijutsu competency showed no hint of gaining momentum.

Aiko was getting frustrated. She'd expected that she would have to polish Fukiko's taijutsu, of course. She had even planned to teach her the variations Kakashi had given her over the years, to enlarge the girl's repertoire. But at this rate, she'd be lucky to get Fukiko to respectable genin taijutsu in a couple of years. Fukiko was a sweet girl, but she'd much rather be out in the field than restricted to the village as a teacher and running messages between the kage. That part wouldn't change anytime soon, but she didn't see why the fact that she was the most logical option for passing information had to mean she was grounded in-village all the time. The whole unique aspect of Hiraishin was that the travel was instantaneous from anywhere—why the hell couldn't she go directly from a field posting on a quick trip to Konoha or wherever when she was needed, instead of sitting around all day?

* * *

 

"You're going to be leaving soon?" Aiko frowned, tossing a rock out onto the hot water.

' _Why not, everyone else gets to_ ,' she thought bitterly, but tried to keep that thought off her face. Being trapped in Konoha was driving her mad, and running messages hardly felt like a break. There was no stress relief in instantaneous travel to offices filled with jumpy bastards who tried to lop her head off half the time that she showed up. C might have been trying to assassinate her on purpose, to be fair, but Chojuro, Mei, and any other random asshole lurking in a kage's office who made a leap at her was really getting on her nerves. Gaara, at least, had never attempted to kill her on reflex when she showed up carting papers, which made Suna the least actively stressful place to go.

' _But that doesn't matter right now,'_ Aiko tried to convince herself. She should take a distraction from those depressing thoughts when it was offered, as if by fate.

She'd come upon her godfather doing what he did best after leaving dinner with Ino, and approached him after he'd inevitably scared off all the bathers. Once he'd stopped pretending to quail at their wrath, he'd settled with her at the edge of the pool to dangle their feet in and talk.

"Yepp." Jiraiya crossed his arms and closed his eyes, looking uncharacteristically wise and solemn. "Tsunade-hime doesn't want me to go, but I need to see what's going on in Ame for myself. If Naruto can take shifts chasing Akatsuki, I think that I can go to the border."

She pressed her lips together tightly to hold in what she really thought about that. Naruto shouldn't be involved in those missions. And there was no need to risk Jiraiya.

' _Not that there's much of a risk._ ' Fondly, she glanced up at her godfather. Akatsuki couldn't possibly have anyone who could challenge Jiraiya. Even Itachi and Kisame had fled from him. Still… "Can I give you a seal, then?" she asked. When he gave her an inquisitive look, she flushed a little and explained, "I'd feel better if I knew where you were, I suppose."

Jiraiya snorted and ruffled her hair. "I'm not one of your puppies to keep track of," he huffed, eyes crinkled in amusement. "I think that I can take care of myself, Aiko-chan. Thank you for the sentiment, but I'm a little too old to feel comfortable with the idea of giving a lovely young lady such as yourself the means to track me at any time. That would undermine my air of mystery, wouldn't it?"

His words were light-hearted, but there was some odd undertone in the words that made her drop the topic entirely.

He left the village before dawn the next day, which Aiko quickly regretted. Not for his company, really, though that was pleasant enough. Her sudden yearning for Jiraiya had more to do with the fact that for the first time in months, Aiko woke in the dead of the night to a white-masked figure standing at the foot of her bed.

She responded by throwing off her covers and rolling to the ground to avoid the expected blow, popping up into a defensive posture and-

"I apologize for the intrusion, Uzumaki-sama." The man knelt. "I feared contacting you in open air."

Dumbstruck, it was all Aiko could do not to stare. That was a ROOT uniform. He had to be here to kill her for selling them out… But he didn't seem to be hostile.

"What's going on?" she asked, voice portraying a calm she didn't feel.

The intruder didn't raise his head. "It was my mistake. This one did not immediately know what Danzo-sama had intended in the event of his passing. I only sensed that you had been gifted his mark when I passed you on the street."

It took a shamefully long moment to connect those dots. ' _ROOT members can sense that I took Danzo's seal?'_ Unconsciously, Aiko let the fingers of her right hand rest against the seal hidden under her clothes. ' _But how? I couldn't feel anything earlier… unless it's…_ ' She swallowed, remembering something. ' _The really horrible feeling I always got from Danzo?_ ' Aiko half-questioned, already knowing that she was right. That was what this man had sensed. He'd made the connection between something he'd only felt in relation to one other person, and had been so desperate for orders that he had come to the conclusion that she had taken legitimate control of the organization.

Now that she mentioned it, she could feel Danzo's chakra lingering on this man… but it was faint. No. That wasn't right. It wasn't faint, she just wasn't noticing it because she had a large concentration of it on her chest constantly. It was like wearing perfume—eventually, the wearer couldn't smell it anymore.

"You are forgiven," Aiko settled, trying to come up with an idea. She had no plan for this. What use could she possibly have for ROOT? What would Tsunade want her to do? She couldn't tell him to come back once she'd asked Tsunade for help… though she could tell him to come back later. "What information do you have?"

The reply, when it came, was tentative. "Clarification, Uzumaki-sama?"

She let a hint of irritation into her tone. "Have you told any of your comrades what you have discovered? What do you know of Danzo's passing and what it means for us?"

As it turned out, he had told his one contact person, who had also had no idea that Danzo-sama had made contingency plans. The poor lost lambs had jumped at the possibility of following the person Danzo had supposedly entrusted with his legacy. And didn't that make her feel guilty? She'd known that his conditioned, brain-washed soldiers would be bereft after his death, but hadn't thought that it was her problem. But it was, as she found out when she took what she'd found out to Tsunade the next morning.

The Hokage had no idea how to deal with this, frankly. Telling them that Aiko had turned traitor (and therefore would not be giving them orders) would only set them on a warpath for her head—she hardly wanted to arrange the situation so that an unknown number of confused hostiles would be trying to assassinate Aiko. But letting them believe Aiko was carrying on Danzo's vision in opposition to Tsunade would either fall apart when they noticed that they had no missions, or inadvertently actually work against Tsunade's interests in an attempt to trick them.

Perhaps on an individual basis, they could be gauged for the possibility that they could be rehabilitated. But as a group… it would be obscenely dangerous to put out a blanket order for them to report to Tsunade or the hospital for counseling.

As a stop-gap measure, Aiko told the few ROOT who attempted to report to her in a trickle after the first man that they would going underground for now, and to wait a month for further orders. It meant that she wasn't sleeping well, however, even on the nights when no one came by.

* * *

 

"Again," Aiko clipped out professionally one practice considerably after Fukiko's spectacular lack of talent had come to light, trying to keep her irritation from showing. Fukiko seemed self-conscious enough without coming to the mistaken impression that she was doing something wrong. Well, she was, but she couldn't exactly be faulted for lack of natural ability. Eventually, Aiko grew frustrated enough that the lesson switched tracks, and she set the girl to meditation when she might have otherwise forced taijutsu practice. It might have helped Aiko to calm her mind as well.

' _It was stupid to expect her to have natural taijutsu ability,_ ' she criticized herself, pacing while the timid girl attempted to interact with her chakra. _'Just because Sasuke is talented… Well, there's no reason for that to have any bearing on Uchiha in general. Besides, he was trained practically as soon as he could walk. She's barely had any training, sickly as she's been.'_

But Aiko had been naturally talented herself, benefitting from an adult mind to analyze and remember stances, and an exceptionally healthy, athletically inclined body from an excellent pedigree (as much as the thought made her feel like a dog).

' _Maybe Fukiko just isn't going to be a taijutsu type_ ,' Aiko mulled, biting at her lower lip. She'd still have to train the girl up to at least high-genin level, of course, but it might be a good idea not to invest too heavily in that discipline. Fukiko was prone to bodily infirmity, after all. Sasuke was a damn good medic, but if he hadn't been able to confidently drive out whatever illness she had, then remission was probably the best Aiko could hope for. It would be foolish to put all her hopes on Fukiko making it as a taijutsu specialist.

But what did that leave? Uchiha were traditionally front line fighters—elite ones too. If she ever attained the Sharingan, then Fukiko would have a possible affinity for genjutsu. That was one idea… if it weren't for the fact that Aiko's own skills in that area were patchwork at best. But Fukiko didn't have exceptional chakra control, nor did she have the impressive reserves that made a student an easy pick as a ninjutsu specialist.

' _Well, I can only teach her what I know.'_ she thought. _'Fuinjutsu? She's a pretty smart kid, that could work out. Maybe she'll have a knack for traps. If so, I could get tips from Naruto.'_

Aiko stilled. Now, there was an idea. It didn't have to be Naruto in particular, per se, but was there any reason she couldn't ask for advice from other outside sources? If her skill sets weren't optimally aligned with what Fukiko would need to become truly formidable, then she could work to attain those skills, or at least how to help Fukiko learn them.

Cheered, she collapsed into a seated position across from her adorable little student and tweaked her nose. With a gasp, Fukiko's eyes shot open and the girl jerked backwards, away from Aiko's smiling face.

' _She really needs to work on her reflexes,'_ Aiko noted idly. ' _Awareness of her surroundings will come with time, but staring at an enemy with big startled doe eyes is never the appropriate response.'_

"Alright!" She clapped her hands lightly to draw attention back to what she was saying, and not whatever Fukiko was self-flagellating about now. "Tell me about your chakra core, Fukiko. How does it feel to you? To me, chakra is cool and tingles, but I know that a lot of people experience warmth. How is yours?"

After she had taken one sweaty little pre-genin home, Aiko set out in search of Jounin. Two Jounin in particular, actually. She ran into Kurenai before she found Gai. It would be dishonest to pretend that she was disappointed. She could postpone seeking out his help until hopefully she didn't need it any more. Maybe Fukiko would experience a sudden bout of athletic genius. Or competency—she'd settle for mediocrity.

Curious red eyes pinned Aiko when she politely made enough noise to draw attention to herself. Asuma and Kurenai had probably noticed her already, of course, but it was a bit uncouth to sneak around allies. "Hello, Aiko-chan," the older woman greeted calmly. Her fingers were laced in Asuma's hair, but she didn't jerk away from the obvious gesture of affection or look otherwise uncomfortable.

Asuma was sitting between her knees in front of the park bench Kurenai was seated on, worrying an unlit cigarette in his lips.

"Sorry for bothering you, Kurenai-san, Asuma-san," Aiko apologized, doing her best not to let on that she wanted to smile at the sight. They were a handsome couple. "I was hoping to get some advice on E and D level genjutsu. I'm trying to figure out how to teach Fukiko-chan, and her talents don't really line up with mine." Sheepishly, she fluffed up her hair, and wished that she'd run into Kurenai when she was on her own.

Her mild discomfort seemed to amuse Asuma, but Kurenai merely blinked it off. "You have a student already?" She arched one perfectly formed brow and shook her head slightly. "I can't imagine I can really tell you much about teaching genjutsu to someone with an affinity, since none of my students are so inclined. I would suggest that you try to get permission from Hokage-sama to look around the archives. There should be physical copies held there of all sorts of techniques. It's not traditional, but you're a smart girl. I'm sure that you can figure out low-level genjutsu yourself without a personal tutor, given adequate instructions and illustration." Her hand curled in her lap, tugging at her dress, and Kurenai gave an odd little smile before adding, "I'd offer personal assistance, but I'm going to be rather busy in the oncoming months. Feel free to come for me for help on a case-by-case basis if you get stuck, however."

Aiko just blinked for a moment. There were public domain jutsu records? Granted, she'd known that clans and shinobi families often kept some sort of physical records so that nothing was lost, but she hadn't realized that the village as a whole stored techniques.

' _That's not completely true,'_ she realized, absentmindedly thanking Kurenai and turning away. _'Naruto was supposed to have stolen a scroll of kinjutsu to learn the shadow clones. I'd assumed that meant that it was a special, one of a kind type thing, but it could just have been the highest security of what is otherwise a mundane storage.'_

It seemed to be her best bet. She didn't want to bother Kurenai for titchy little genjutsu. She was past the age and level of ability where it was acceptable for her to beg personal attention from a Jounin. It was normal for shinobi to get all their genjutsu and jutsu from their teacher or parents. If Kurenai never had another student, she would probably teach her arsenal to her children. Aiko fit neither of those categories, of course, so it was a bit rude to do more than give Kurenai opportunity to offer if she was so inclined.

This was better. Tsunade rolled her eyes, but obligingly let Aiko take one scroll at a time and read on the couch in her office. That proximity meant that she ended up flickering back and forth to Suna several times to pass frivolous messages and ask questions, but it was a small price to pay.

Aiko had a good memory, but not a perfect one. So as she flipped through the scrolls and books for possibilities, she took brief notes summarizing their functions and associated handsigns. A lot of it was above her level, of course, but that was expected. As far as casting genjutsu was concerned, she probably wasn't much better than Fukiko. She had a couple of blanket techniques that worked by preying on someone else's subconscious and flooding it with chakra, but that was hardly what she should be teaching to Fukiko, even if it was a viable solution. Complicated as desire and fear based genjutsu seemed to be, the ones Aiko relied on were terribly crude and reliant on the victim's ineptitude or desire to believe the vision was real.

The first technique that she marked as something to attempt to learn allowed her to tweak the victim's perception of color. It was a little thing, but would help as a basis for more complicated techniques. She learned that one the first day and had picked out the second she wanted to learn before Tsunade kicked her out of the office. Aiko was there when Tsunade made it to the office the next morning, holding a box of sweets aloft as apology and tribute. It seemed to do the trick—Tsunade let her continue that pattern for six days straight before she was thoroughly fed up with the company and constant experimentation in her office and booted Aiko out with the recommendation that she only show her face once a week from then on.

It was intensely relieving for Aiko to discover that Fukiko had more of a knack for genjutsu than hoped for, even without the Sharingan as an aid. Fukiko was obviously interested, and didn't complain about being told to perform chakra control exercises for a full hour alone before she headed to the Academy in order to make learning new techniques easier. She was a little more reluctant about being required to study brain chemistry and the anatomy of eyes in detail in order to facilitate tricking them and other sensing organs, but it had to be done. Oddly enough, it actually became a struggle to learn low-level genjutsu at enough speed to pass them on before Fukiko had finished the last assignment. She was restricted to single-sense genjutsu, of course, and nothing with a persuasive element like causing emotion or confusion, but it was impressive nonetheless.

Her taijutsu still sucked, though.

' _One thing at a time,'_ Aiko told herself, trying to channel serenity and not crush Fukiko's little spirit by letting on that her teacher was absolutely baffled by her lack of ability. _'I can concentrate on one thing at a time. If I have her keep working on taijutsu, she's bound to get better eventually. In the meantime, she might actually make a genjutsu specialist yet.'_

At the rate Fukiko's voracious genjutsu appetite demanded she keep researching techniques to keep her student occupied, Aiko might make a decent genjutsu user herself. She'd probably have no use for E and D ranked techniques in the kinds of fights she found herself in, but they'd make learning higher level genjutsu easier as Fukiko progressed.

Of course, gains in one part of her life seemed to correspond to struggles in another.

"What are you planning on doing with ROOT?"

Aiko blinked, lowering her chopsticks and swirling them around her soup instead of answering immediately. Sai was paying even less attention to his lunch, which was a bit strange, since he'd picked the place. She only now theorized that it was as part of an insidious plot to arrange the correct conditions for a conversation. Tricky boy.

"I don't have a plan," she admitted with a shrug. And wasn't that depressing? "I wish Jiraiya hadn't left so soon. Tsunade doesn't know what to do."

Sai seemed spectacularly unamused by that response. "What does that matter? I asked what you intended, not the Hokage."

Stunned by the implications of that, Aiko raised an eyebrow. "Ouch, Sai," she mumbled, setting aside her uneaten lunch and turning to face him entirely. "Why is it my responsibility?"

Displeased, he intentionally contorted his face into a slight frown. She took a moment to wonder if he'd been practicing. "When you save a life, it becomes your responsibility," he said finally. "The Hokage does not understand."

' _Survivor's guilt of a sort, for people that Danzo hurt?'_ Aiko theorized, trying to pick out clues in his posture and coming up blank. _'Maybe he feels like he should be helping the other ROOT trainees to function outside?'_ It wasn't as though he had time to take care of them himself, even if he had the means to do it. He'd been kept obscenely busy, probably in an effort to keep him out of trouble and allow him to work professionally with a large amount of people. If Tsunade was trying to improve his social competency, it was working. He did a far better impression of normality than he had before.

It was hardly fair for him to put that on her workload, though. She couldn't be responsible for keeping his conscience happy as well.

He didn't like that answer much, though. She didn't see him for days after that.

* * *

 

' _Kami, what fools these mortals be,_ ' Madara mocked internally as the man who called himself a god deigned to communicate with his subordinates. Pein was pretentious and weak.

Obito wouldn't call the man weak, per se, but he couldn't help but note that Pein was overly dramatic. Sometimes it was funny. Like now, as Pein darkly informed his organization via projection that they were to return to Ame to protect the village and borders from encroaching dangers brought by four of the five great shinobi nations. He took himself far too seriously. The alliance was more interested in hounding Akatsuki than invading Ame—it would have been more sensible to keep them apart for now.

Mocking Pein was a temporary amusement at best for both Obito and Madara. Neither of them was paying the false god all that much attention. The future had much more appeal than the present.

Tobi, however, was listening patiently with an eager posture that all but begged to be either kicked or given a pat on the head. He was such a good boy, after all.

Not like the other Akatsuki. Hidan and Kisame were both very bad boys for failing in their duties. Not only had Kisame let Tobi's friend go, but Hidan hadn't been able to stop her from taking the captured jinchuuriki with her.

Even as Madara had cursed that the brat had set back his plans, Obito and Tobi had understood. She was a good girl who wanted to help others. A very good girl, who had risked herself to help bad shinobi she didn't even know, shinobi who weren't even her friends. Perversely, he found himself hoping she was alright. She must be a very sweet, gentle girl. And she had been so nice to Tobi! The others yelled at Tobi and called him names. They thought that he didn't understand, but he did. But Aiko-chan had actually played with him, and talked to him about Hidan-san's feelings. What a nice girl, to be interested in someone she didn't even know.

' _She reminds me of Rin_ ,' Obito thought morosely, once more reminded of his grand purpose. Sweet, gentle Rin, who had suffered so much in this dark world.

Really, the similarities were uncanny. For all the he'd expected to dislike the girl when all he knew was that she was Bakashi's apprentice, Aiko was most well known for sparing her opponents. That didn't sound like Bakashi's influence at all. Kakashi had murdered Rin, after all. What would he care about turning a little girl into a killer?

' _He'll probably get Aiko-chan killed too_ ,' Tobi sniffled, already picturing her with a sizzling hole through her chest. Obito knew Kakashi's clenched fist would be coated in her blood, bits of her heart caught under blunt fingernails. He could remember the slow collapse as she realized what had happened far too late, no medical jutsu could help her and he'd just watched, he'd just watched.

It was the innocent who suffered most in this imperfect world, Obito knew. Madara, the outside Madara, had taught him that well. The Madara that resonated in his mind was just as critical as that Madara had been, however. That voice scoffed.

' _You may as well assume the girl is your precious Rin's reincarnation at this rate,_ ' he criticized idly.

Obito stilled, even as Tobi moved through the motions of applauding whatever Pein was talking about. The statement had been a jab, but it rang with truth. Was it really possible that Rin had been reincarnated so soon? It would have been so like her to become flesh again as Minato-sensei's daughter. He'd been like her father. And the timeline fit. Aiko-chan had been born so soon after Rin had died. She'd come back to Konoha, even though he hadn't. Had she known how bereft he was of her presence and tried to find him by being reborn as another Konoha kunoichi? That must be why he'd never been able to forget her and why the pain had never dulled. They were connected on an intrinsic level. He'd somehow known she'd lingered and he would never be happy until they were together again.

It was the only explanation, he realized. These things repeated, and that was why such a good girl was with Kakashi. But that was terrible: Rin was under Kakashi's dubious care again. He was going to get her killed, if he didn't do it himself. Kakashi couldn't be blamed, of course, he was an imperfect product of an imperfect world. Already twisted and stained. But Rin wasn't. Rin was pure, and good, and needed to be protected. Rin was Obito's friend. Aiko was Tobi's friend. Aiko had been kind to Tobi when no one else had, just like Rin had always been kind to Obito. She was just that kind of person, regardless of the body she wore. And how could he hold that change of flesh against her? His own flesh was warped and hideous. Only Rin would be able to love him like this, but she shouldn't have to. She deserved a perfect world. Rin deserved a perfect man.

' _You'll have Rin once you finish the Eye of the Moon plan,'_ Madara reminded him firmly. _'There is no use in chasing this idea.'_

He could tell that Madara thought this was a distraction from his true purpose. That wasn't right; he wouldn't allow it to be, because of course the plan was still important. With the Eye of the Moon plan completed, he would have Rin again and they would all be together.

But that didn't mean she should suffer in this world as well. If he knew about this and let it hurt her again, he'd be trash.

Obito stirred, feeling a new resolve to take interest in the outside instead of slipping behind Tobi and Madara. He could do this one thing for her. He'd do anything for Rin, after all, no matter how transitory and stop-gap. She had to be protected. Konoha wouldn't do it, Konoha sent Rin out to fight when she wasn't meant to; she was loving and gentle and not a killer, never a killer. Her hands weren't stained with blood like his were.

As filthy as his hands were, perhaps they could be of some small use in this still. The bad must be punished and forgiven, and the innocent helped. He could keep Rin safe.

' _No,_ ' Madara warned. ' _Do not kill any of the Akatsuki yet. They still serve a purpose, even defanged as they are by the failure of Pein's first strategy.'_

But Kisame had risked Rin. He'd let her go back to people who might harm her again.

' _Irrelevant_ ,' came the dismissal. An uncharacteristic anger was already welling up in Obito when his ancestor pacified, ' _Kisame has caused no permanent damage. His error was one of ignorance, not malicious intent. He is our best and most loyal supporter, and he showed your teammate kindness while she was in his care.'_

That was true. Kisame had been a good boy after all, hadn't he?

Well, there were other ways to help Rin. She would be sad if he hurt her friend Kisame, so it was really for the best that Obito didn't have to have Madara kill the shark-man.

Madara sighed. _'If you insist, I will talk to Pein about leaving on a trip alone,'_ he gave in. ' _We have nothing to fear in Konoha. That's where the girl will be found. If it will make us happy, we can remove Rin from Kakashi's dubious custody.'_

No, Obito responded, firmly pushing his mentor's voice down. He could do this on his own.

* * *

 

"Hey, shithead," Hidan grunted conversationally, tossing a rock through Kisame's shimmering form. Either the insult or the projectile caught his attention, and the Mist nukenin turned an unimpressed eye on the Jashinist. Hidan just grinned and indicated the cloaked and masked figure that also shimmered to Kisame's left. "The fuck did you do to the retard? He's been looking at you like he loves you."

Hidan was a jackass, but he wasn't completely wrong, Kisame noted. Tobi was indeed fixating with an unusual intensity on his person.

The kid had been running hot and cold in regards to Kisame for a while now—ever since little red had escaped. The little idiot probably thought she really was his friend or something and was sad that she'd hightailed it out of there. Kisame didn't have the patience to pacify Tobi. He'd barely managed to divert Pein's irritation after that goddamn fiasco.

It probably hadn't helped that he'd had a hard time not laughing about it, once he realized that she'd even _told him_ she was about to escape. The kid hadn't even been able to stand up properly for kami's sake. There she'd sat, in clothes twice her size with dark circles under her eyes from sleep deprivation, and calmly thanked him for breakfast before she blew through their defenses, proving that Pein and Konan had both been completely remiss in information gathering.

Kisame didn't blame himself in the slightest. He'd followed his orders to perfection, and had Pein been correct, there would have been no opportunity for her to escape his custody. The leader hadn't seen it that way, of course. The leader was perfect, at least in his own mind, so it had to have been Kisame's fault. He tried not to scoff, concentrating on the real issue and not the fact that the puppet leader of Akatsuki was fooling himself.

More to the point, she'd taken proof back to Konoha in the form of two jinchuuriki that had persuaded many of the shinobi nations to stand against Akatsuki and Ame.

They had been prepared for outsiders to declare themselves Akatsuki's enemies. Ame, however, was not ready for such an assault. The civilians and the actual hidden village who depended on Pein and Konan for guidance would never be able hold the borders on their own. Which was, of course, why Pein was recalling all of them from their current missions to protect the country while Akatsuki licked their wounds. There was something bitter about being called to protect someone else's country after being forced to part ways with his own, Kisame noted.

His attention was drawn sharply back to the conversation when Pein seemed to lift his head and stare off into the distance.

Konan stepped forward and put a hand on his arm. "Pein-sama, allow me to take care of the intruders," she murmured, as the rest of Akatsuki actually demonstrated interest in what was going on.

Pein shook his head just once and disentangled his arm. "No, tenshi. I will handle this personally." With that said, he cursorily dismissed the group and faded out of sight. Kisame was almost regretful that he was too far away to join in on whatever fight had been unfortunate enough to stumble Pein's way.

His mind trailed back to the kunoichi who had complicated his life by escaping on his watch and getting Pein angry with him. For such a small thing, little red had put a surprising dent in Akatsuki's plans by virtue of making it all but impossible to capture and keep jinchuuriki. If she had one of her tags on them, Akatsuki now knew, she would be able to travel to them and probably escape nearly instantaneously to the safety of Konoha. That made it more useful to either capture jinchuuriki she'd never touched, or remove her from the equation first.

There were obvious ways to deal with that, of course, both of which centered around neutralizing the plausibility of her apparent plan to steal away any jinchuuriki they gathered. The simplest way would be to kill her. It could be done. She was fast, but that was her strongest trait, and her perception and reaction time still paled in comparison to Itachi's. Especially for a kunoichi who was little more than a child, she was highly formidable in the areas where she was strong. But conversely, her weak points were almost tragically exploitable. If she could be kept from fleeing, she could easily be killed by a fighter of Akatsuki caliber. Kisame himself knew how he would do it. Even with her speed, it would just be a waiting game. She was inexperienced, and would make the first mistake. He'd only need one mistake to finish the game, and her ability to dance away from blows wouldn't matter then.

Simple, yes. Killing her would be the most _obvious_ way to keep her from ruining their plans, but perhaps not the easiest or more practical. Really, what they needed to do was prevent her from using her Hiraishin against them. That could be part of a plan to kill her, but it could also stand independently. If they could force a confrontation in such a way that retreat was not an option, she would never again trouble their cause. That could be done by somehow neutralizing her Hiraishin, or by ensuring that she had no safe place to travel to. Perhaps it would be simpler to raze Konoha than it would be to trick that flitting kunoichi into staying still long enough to be caught in a glass jar.

Shame, Kisame sighed, beginning the trudge back to Ame. Little red wasn't a bad kid. Reckless and possibly stupid, but not a bad kid. Perhaps she was even charming, if he was honest with himself.

Didn't matter. She was standing in the way of a world without lies. That goal trumped any other concerns, even if he would prefer the least damaging method of neutralizing her so that Akatsuki could collect the rest of the bijuu.

* * *

 

"Damn that slug bitch," Oonoki growled, bringing a tiny fist to bear against his desk. The motion lacked any real anger, thankfully, so the blow had no visible affect.

"It's unbelievable that four of the five great nations are allies in this," Kurotsuchi observed with a frown. "Perhaps there is something legitimate to this fear of an Akatsuki."

Oonoki snorted at his granddaughter and gave her a thoroughly unimpressed look. "Little idiot! Something isn't true just because everyone else thinks it is." He settled back into his chair with a grumble. Kurotsuchi sneered silently at him, but didn't talk back this time. Eventually, he broke the silence. "And you say that the Mizukage seemed genuine in her alliance with Konoha?"

"Yes," she sighed. They'd gone over this how many times now? Dutifully, she listed off the evidence. "The Hokage and Mizukage spent much time in conference, and the Mizukage referred to the Hokage's attendant most familiarly."

The Tsuchikage snorted. "Yes, the Uzumaki whore," he sardonically countered. "Who we supposedly have to thank for the Raikage losing his senses and agreeing to treat with Konoha. What a fool, to be swayed because Konoha returned a kunoichi that they probably stole in the first place!"

His granddaughter merely rolled her eyes. She'd heard variations on this theme since she had first reported to him, but he still had yet to compose a plan of action for dealing with the threat. The current situation absolutely could not be allowed to stand, after all.

Three great nations locked in alliance had been horrifying enough. Now that all but Iwa were united, the danger that they would turn their greedy gaze north was high. The alliance was supposedly merely in regards to this criminal organization hunting jinchuuriki, but Oonoki had seen enough political shenanigans in his day to know that afterwards, relations would be warmer than they had ever been between those four nations if all went as planned.

And why wouldn't it go as planned? This was an idiotic witch-hunt for less than a dozen shinobi. The military prowess of _one_ nation after their heads should have been enough.

He had no sympathy for their plights. It served Kumo right to have the criminals they'd hired for their dirty work turn on them, and so far Kumo had been the only ones to suffer. The other nations were witless worms, moving to prevent an incredibly vague and unlikely future danger because their jinchuuriki were weak and inadequate. Iwa could keep their jinchuuriki safe without joining this fool's errand. Han was safely within the village, and Roshi could protect himself in the highly unlikely event he was found.

Helping in this quest held no appeal and no benefit for Iwa, aside from the possibility that groveling now would keep the alliance from turning on them later. But stone did not bend to fear. No, their purposes would be much better served by chipping away at the foundations of the relationships that kept four of the great nations in a tentative truce.

Oonoki did not wish to provoke war, of course. Iwa was the strongest of the great villages, but only the worst kind of man sought that kind of violence for his people. But surely there was a way to restore the old equilibrium of uneasy coexistence between the great nations without toppling it into chaos.

He just didn't know how to do it. The obvious answer was to trick them into breaking their alliance, of course, but who was the weak link?

He might have thought Kumo, as the last to enter the alliance, would be the easiest to manipulate into leaving it, but Kumo was also the only nation who had really suffered against Akatsuki. The Raikage would not be swayed from what he saw as his chance for revenge for his brother, as well as a chance to regain the strength brought by the eight-tailed bijuu.

Suna had not lost a jinchuuriki, but they were led by one. Sabaku no Gaara had been attacked by Akatsuki, and reputably saved by Konoha's assistance. They would not be easily convinced to leave the alliance. Losing their Kazekage and sole jinchuuriki was far too devastating a possibility for them not to agree to at least a token participation in Konoha's witch-hunt.

Mist probably had the most to fear from Akatsuki and the most to gain from that alliance. Oonoki had yet to meet the new Mizukage, but he knew enough not to expect her to be easily bent to his will. He hoped that Kurotsuchi's report about the personal nature of her relationship with Konoha was inaccurate, but wasn't about to hold his breath. The Mizukage had much to gain from friendship with Konoha. Her one jinchuuriki was almost certainly the weakest in existence, so they needed the protection. And Konoha had provided the seal master who had given them back that strength in the first place. If Terumi Mei was anything less than an idiot, she would be hoping to gain that seal master for herself, of course. But barring that, she would want to remain on good terms with Konoha so that when her renegade jinchuuriki was captured, she would be allowed to take back the beast he held and given assistance in creating a more pliable container.

That left Konoha, of course, the originator of the alliance. Most probably, Akatsuki was a shade for their own goals. Oonoki wasn't yet convinced that they had no desire for the bijuu, but even if they didn't, they still stood to gain. They were gathering allies and creating relationships with other nations that would be difficult to break, making it very unlikely that war would be sustainable between those friendly powers any time soon. They would never be persuaded to leave the alliance, not by any device he could muster.

All the same, they were the backbone, Oonoki mused. And there was more than one way to cut a gem. If the other nations were to lose faith in Konoha, the alliance would probably completely fall apart. Even if Mist, Suna, and Kumo agreed to work together without Konoha, the danger was still significantly lessened. Konoha was Iwa's ancient enemy: without the slug bitch at the helm, who would stir up malcontent against his nation?

The only question left was how to do it. Konoha was stronger than they had been in many years, and they had never been weak enough that Oonoki had felt comfortable crushing them to completely eliminate the threat they raised against his people. After having been inactive for well over a decade, it had finally come out that Konoha once again had the power of the nine-tails, and it had been hidden in the twice-damned spawn of the fourth Hokage and his generation's Uzumaki whore. For all intents and purposes, it seemed that the whelp was replacing his mother, and the whore standing in for her father. And what hero did Iwa have?

Oonoki sighed tiredly, feeling every inch his age, though he would never admit it. It didn't seem to have been that long ago when the yellow flash and bloody habanera had terrorized his forces. Even if neither brat was truly equal to their parents, Konoha was still formidable. They had two sannin, Sharingan no Kakashi, that damnable taijutsu beast, and Sarutobi Asuma. With their respectable numbers, large clans, and intimidating force of high level shinobi, it would be foolish to enter a direct conflict with even just Konoha, barring the fact that they would probably be dragging along their alliance with them to war.

Direct military intervention was out of the question, an absolute last resort that would result in pyrrhic victory at best. That left the possibility of covert operations to turn all others from Konoha.

Easier said than done. It would have to be something truly horrendous, and they didn't have any evidence that would suffice. That meant they needed to gather information so that they could at least frame Konoha convincingly.

Something with Orochimaru, perhaps? He was supposedly dead, but they were still at least partially liable for his activities, Oonoki mused. Had it really been half a year ago that one of Orochimaru's former slaves had come to him offering technology and a wealth of information in exchange for instatement into Iwa's forces?

That mission had presumably failed. None of the shinobi sent to investigate his claims had returned. Oonoki had seen no point in sending more to die in whatever ambush had caught four Chuunin level shinobi for so little guarantee of gain. But perhaps now, it was time to try again, he mused. Their informant had provided a fair bit of information. Assuming that he had ever intended to keep his word, then that information should still be valid, and the informant had merely been either an idiot or led the team into an unlucky encounter. The truth of the matter could be ferreted out easily enough.

Thus decided, Oonoki snapped at his granddaughter to prepare her team for a mission, and settled in to scribble out the parameters before turning his mind to what else needed to be done. There was a good potential that this mission would turn up nothing of use, so he could hardly bank all his hopes on it. Perhaps he should be sending an information gathering team directly into Fire Country… The Kamizuru clan would be a good choice. Their insects were remarkable tools for covert operations, being able to travels dozens of miles from their partner and then return without fail. No one but a damned Aburame would know the difference between a trained insect and one that merely happened to perch near interesting conversations.

The Kamizuru would enjoy the opportunity, he knew, so he wrote that up as a possible course of action as well. He'd already asked their assistance for that possibility months ago, and had hoped to send the caravan providing famine relief back to Konoha with their insects. Of course, Konoha had _just happened_ to send an Aburame with the group, ruining that plan and...

Oonoki purposefully changed tracks. That line of contemplation had been unproductive. He needed a delicate balance between subtlety and gathering as much as possible, since he had no idea what Konoha might be blamed for.

War-mongering was always a good standby, as was profiteering. Perhaps he should be looking to set Konoha against Fire Country nobility instead? It was indirect, but the other nations would quietly back away from association in order to calm their own legions of fat idiots who filled the villages' coffers by funding missions.

Accusing them of bloodline theft or espionage was a reliable possibility, of course. They were known as the village that was most invested in bloodlines, so others were wary of them for fear of having their soldiers lured away. But thinking of Orochimaru and the fact that Konoha was headed by a medic of all the things brought up another interesting idea. No one would disbelieve that Konoha had the ability to conduct kidnapping and unethical human experimentations that might give them an edge. If the taint on Konoha's reputation left by Orochimaru could be utilized, it would be highly effective to convince the other three major villages that fire country was after their children as test subjects, or was creating a test-tube army they couldn't fight. Fear of unusual abilities was known to cause all sorts of outlash—like the recent kerfuffle in Mist over bloodline users, or when Uzushiogakure had been destroyed for fear that the chakra sensing bastards would use fuinjutsu that could not be countered.

So the Tsuchikage sat and thought, discarding and piling possibilities in a silent seated position with his hands folded in front of him, outwardly peaceful but inwardly fuming with a century's accumulation of distaste for Konoha.

 

 


	95. Glinda the Good

"Hey, hey, Shizune-chan! That's you, right?"

She tried not to startle at the oversized, yellow and orange monstrosity hopping in her face. Instead of tossing the thing through the window, she clenched her fingers ever-so-slightly around her coffee. "Yes, toad-san?" Shizune greeted politely. This wasn't one that she recognized. Either Jiraiya had made a new friend, or this was one of Naruto's summons.

"I have a message!" His chest puffed out importantly, and then deflated. Meekly, he added, "It's bad news."

Shizune tucked her coffee in her elbow and unceremoniously scooped the amphibian up, ignoring the way he fussed. In flawless whoosh of chakra, she pulled a Sasuke. Tsunade looked up even as she elbowed her way out from behind the wall of potted plants, holding the messenger toad aloft like a squishy shield from her mentor's possible irritation.

Tsunade outright groaned. "What's the pervert done this time? He's only been gone-"

"It wasn't him!" the thing peeped up, wiggling out of Shizune's grip to land on the desk and grin up at Tsunade. "I'm Naruto's friend, Gamatatsu. Nice to meetcha, baa-chan!"

Shizune took a moment to wonder what would happen if Tsunade flattened someone else's summon, because her fingers were gripping the book in her hands with enough force to turn them white and it would only take an instant for her to lift it and make him into goo… The moment passed, thankfully, and Tsunade let the disrespect slide.

"Is something wrong?"

Gamatatsu slumped down sheepishly. "Ah, yes. I forgot all about that. Yes!" He seemed almost triumphant about remembering what he'd come to tell them. "It's terrible. Right after Naruto and his friends got back to Grass country, actually. When they found…" He trailed off, and then corrected, "No, that's not right. When they _didn't_ find who they were looking for? I dun know, something about Kumo and Kiri? I get those confused. Anyway!" He hopped straight up, as if for emphasis. "They weren't where they were supposed to be! It turned out they tried to go into Ame, and a bad man came! Naruto found a Chuunin and his grumpy friend healed the Chuunin which was pretty cool, but I don't think there's anyone else left."

Tsunade was slightly white, though whether she counted this as a disaster or a near-miss because her people had been gone at the time was hard to tell. Konoha's teams had been running back and forth for supplies and messages, since they were by far closest to where the teams had tracked a team of Akatsuki and Konoha had the most information about the organization.

"They're all dead?" Tsunade confirmed numbly, although her tone left little hope for correction. The way the toad shrank back was answer enough. "Did Naruto know what happened?"

The toad shook his head vigorously. "Not exactly! The Kumo team decided to follow their targets past the border. Yeah, I think it was Kumo."

"But hadn't they been told to wait outside?" she demanded. That was what Kakashi had said was the consensus when he'd left with his team to ask for further orders… She'd sent him back out just yesterday, there was no way he should have already arrived in order to aid in a situational re-assessment.

The toad shrugged. "I guess they got too eager," he confirmed quietly, a little more solemn than before.

' _And it got them all killed.'_ Tsunade swallowed, hard. "Is Naruto certain that there was just one assailant? How did this Chuunin survive?"

"He must-a been some kind of monster!" Gamatatsu confirmed with just a bit too much cheer. Toads were irrepressibly good-natured, and right now it grated. "I dunno why, but the man let him go!"

"Do we know anything else about this assailant?" Tsunade demanded. "Was he Akatsuki? Was he marked as Ame? Did all this happen within Ame, or did he follow them out of the border?"

"I don't know!" the toad crossly interrupted, stomping one filthy little foot on her nice mahogany desk. "I wasn't there, and neither was Naruto. The Chuunin didn't say much about what specifically he used except that he used all the elements, but he said the guy claimed to be a god."

It took a moment for that to sink in.

' _So we're dealing with a very dangerous lunatic,_ ' Tsunade realized tiredly. _'Someone who is dangerous enough that we will definitely not be sending anyone in Ame until we have re-evaluated the situation._ ' …And had Naruto even bothered to try to train his summons to work as information aids? That report was terrible, and she knew that Naruto knew how to make a report. That information was all but useless. And why had it gotten to her so late?

That question was answered easily enough, though the conversation gave her even more of a headache. Naruto had thought Jiraiya was still in Konoha, and sent the toad to report directly to his mentor. At that point, Jiraiya had decided to go meet the teams to provide reinforcement since he was almost there, and sent the toad to Tsunade on foot.

After that, the damn thing had gotten lost. She hated toads sometimes. Thankfully, humans were better at carrying accurate and timely messages.

"Shizune, get Aiko," Tsunade ordered tiredly. Her apprentice had probably already predicted that and left without a fuss.

She had to wonder… For this news, should she really be relying on a messenger? It might be best to dust off her fancy hat and have Aiko Hiraishin them both to the Raikage to tell him the news herself. Hopefully, he wouldn't take her unexpected arrival as a possible assault and would be reasonable, despite having previously specified that news should be relayed through Aiko.

…No, that was a stupid idea. He wasn't going to be reasonable at all. The Raikage was a gibbering moron, and she wasn't just saying that because he'd snubbed her.

Tsunade was apologetic about making the girl endure the Raikage's temper, but she had Aiko go out to Naruto's team, return the witness to the Raikage, and then kept her occupied running between kage for the next four hours.

The Raikage was indeed outraged, but he agreed to send out another team immediately to replace the one lost. Gaara risked Temari, Kankuro, and Baki for the mission as backup, which was more of a sacrifice than it sounded, despite only being one team. Mei's team was still intact—they hadn't been working directly with Kumo—and so they were merely informed, though the Mizukage was concerned that _now_ was the optimal time to hunt down her loose jinchuuriki before Akatsuki got him.

She had a point, but it was hard to want to send out another high level team on a risky mission. Mei was irritatingly persistent about it, and equally insistent that it made sense to send Aiko.

' _Probably because she doesn't want to risk her own people'_ , the Hokage thought uncharitably. She managed to swallow the automatic retort.

At that point, Tsunade had to send Aiko out with Shizune to get lunch, because she didn't know how to convey her initial response through the girl in question and needed some time to think.

It was easy to tell that Aiko was chomping at the bit to get back out in the field, and she would be an asset to a retrieval team hunting a jinchuuriki, as both a tracker and a method of restraining him. But she was _more_ valuable in village as an emergency communication system and emergency transport for any jinchuuriki who got into trouble in the field. Aiko could be ambushed and killed if sent out in the field, and the sad fact was that there were Jounin who were comparatively disposable. If she was safely in the village, she could be used as a resource over and over again to mitigate losses.

Instantaneous communication like what she'd been abusing today was an unparalleled development. The closest thing they had before was communication through summons or messenger birds, which was a complicated mess and had a lot of limitations. The ability for Kage scattered across the continent to communicate within minutes was far more valuable to a campaign than one inexperienced Jounin's presence out in the field. Aiko probably hated it, but it was true.

Still, with Tenzou out with Kakashi, Aiko was the best resource they had available for restraining jinchuuriki. The girl's skill set could have been plotted out for that specific purpose—Tsunade wouldn't pit her against a bijuu, or even most S class shinobi (or some A class, if she were to be honest) but her speed allowed her to use her undersized but efficient chakra chains to restrain one humanoid target with piteous ease. On the other hand, if the jinchuuriki were in an evolved form of their bijuu's chakra, or if the beast itself was in control, Aiko would get ripped to pieces.

' _Why am I dwelling on this?'_ Vexed with herself, Tsunade rolled her neck and took a walk around her office, which degenerated into pacing. ' _Her whole fighting style revolves around getting in the first hit and taking down superior opponents before they get their bearings or analyze her attacks. I can hardly claim that sending her against one jinchuuriki is too much of a risk when I know damn well she's good at it. Terumi is right in that it needs to be done. With Hiraishin, Aiko could get the boy trussed up and delivered to Mist in a sixth of the time it would take anyone else, and spend minimal time outside of the safety of the village._ '

It would just be a phenomenal waste to lose Aiko on a mission that didn't absolutely have to be performed by her.

On the other hand, she should have some faith in her shinobi's abilities to fulfill the mission. Aiko couldn't be confined to the village indefinitely, in a practical and literal sense. Really, there was nothing Tsunade could do to keep her in boundaries, unlike other shinobi who at least had to factor in the danger of getting caught sneaking out as an impediment to mischief.

She didn't like admitting it, but at this point, she only had control of the teen because Aiko allowed it. That control was tenuous at best. If she continued to give Aiko orders that the girl found unpalatable… well, eventually she would crack and rebel in some way. Anyone would. And once she'd disobeyed once with no repercussions, why would she continue to obey?

Running a village full of strong-minded individuals was difficult enough when they had reason to respect and fear her displeasure. But Aiko was like Naruto and Sasuke in that they knew her too well to think that she would penalize them for anything short of murder.

' _Damnit, I'm too soft,'_ Tsunade sighed crabbily. _'It shouldn't matter that Aiko is unhappy with the situation. I know that what I should do is make sure she doesn't break the rules regardless, not let her go blow off steam because I sympathize with her.'_

But she was going to do it anyways. If she needed a message carried urgently, she could always recall Aiko. And it wasn't _necessarily_ that dangerous for Aiko to be out and about wandering the countryside, if Akatsuki had no way of knowing where she was. A small team could move quickly to locate Utakata and bring him in long before Akatsuki could possibly know she'd left Konoha. Besides, they were all ensconced in Ame at the moment.

Aiko's face visibly lit up when she was told to convey that Mei was getting her way, despite the fact that enough time had passed for Kumo's team to be ready and that she was subjected to the indignity of carting them out to meet Konoha's team.

' _I wouldn't be that happy about acting like a land-boat for sassy kumo-nin'_ , Tsunade noted sardonically. Especially since they really seemed to despise Aiko. But whatever, it wasn't as if she'd never been subject to ignominious usage of her hard-earned medical skills. Not every necessary duty was dignified.

* * *

The news of the day was downright tragic, but Aiko still had to fight down a grin. She was finally being let out on a real mission. No matter how cute Fukiko-chan was, teaching just wasn't high-energy enough to suit Aiko's needs. If she'd spent one more week looking at the inside of Konoha's walls, she might have completely snapped and just started screaming.

It was sort of like being claustrophobic, or getting cabin fever. When a person routinely traveled hundreds of miles every month, sitting around one city was maddening.

(Visiting international offices didn't count. For all the effort she expended, Gaara's office might as well have been next door to Tsunade's with Mei's on the other side. That wasn't really a trip).

"I'm hunting jinchuuriiii-ki," Aiko sang tonelessly under her breath as she packed, dancing around her apartment as she worked. It was probably for the best that there were no witnesses, because she did not in fact, have 'the beat'. She nearly tripped over Mitsuo, who startled awake and gave her a reproachful glare without getting up off the floor. "Wake up, lazy thing," she chided good-naturedly. "We get to leave!"

Granted, she had no idea who she was working with, or if she was working with a team at all—Tsunade probably wouldn't send her out alone, right?—but they were just going to have to cope with dogs. Because she wasn't leaving them behind. She had no idea how long the mission would last, after all. They might find him in a day, or it might take a week.

"That reminds me," Aiko said under her breath, dropping unceremoniously to the floor and picking up one of Mitsuo's paws to peer at the soft pads at the bottom. "How are your feet?" She rubbed at the pink flesh. "Is this callous enough for you to keep up on a long run in open terrain, you think?"

He was willing to try, so she summoned Hōseki and let Mitsuo explain the situation while she got ready. Packing was a short affair, due to the fact that she was really just stuffing several outfits into storage seals and putting them as a page marker in inside Icha Icha Tactics (it was a classic) with the oft re-used seal that had her camping equipment.

She changed into blue shorts and a thin grey shirt that opened at her throat (to cover her newest tattoo) and barely brushed her thighs (to enable freedom of movement when running). Aiko contemplated her flak jacket for a moment, but ultimately left it. For her, that was more of a formality and an impediment than an aid. Those jackets were damn heavy. The lighter she was, the faster she was. She was better off trying to not get hit than hoping the jacket deflected blows. The only physical weapons she took were her sword over her back and the thin blades hidden in her boots—the thigh pouches for kunai were irritating, to be honest, and she wasn't interested in that today.

A braid would take more time than she was willing to invest, so Aiko tugged her hair back in low twintails and secured them tightly. Her headband was already on her forehead, so she merely tightened the knot and all but bounced out the door, sliding down the railway to escape her apartment and taking to the rooftops immediately. Hōseki gave an indignant bark, but raced behind as best as she could while Mitsuo gave a self-pitying sigh and leapt right after them.

Tsunade rolled her eyes, but Aiko could tell she wasn't really grumpy about Aiko being there early with Hōseki cuddled in her arms and Mitsuo nuzzling her side.

"You're just sickeningly cute sometimes," Tsunade critiqued sternly. Still, she deigned to scratch Mitsuo behind the ear when he came close enough to investigate her perfume. She only waived him off when a polite knock announced an arrival for debriefing, and a Jounin who Aiko had never actually spoken to sauntered in.

"Aoba," Tsunade greeted, which conveniently enough answered her next question (which would have been, 'who the hell are you, sunshine?'). "Thank you for coming on time. Not early, not late, but at the time that was specified." Aoba seemed to give Aiko a curious look from behind his red-rimmed sunglasses, but it was admittedly hard to tell.

' _Complainer. There's nothing wrong with being eager to go. Would she have preferred I take after Kakashi?'_

Reluctantly, Mitsuo returned to Aiko's side as the Hokage explained the situation to Aoba. Aiko hardly needed to pay attention, as she'd been playing at 'messenger pigeon' for the last few hours. The details were uninteresting, but still she was excited. She was going on a mission! Outside the village!

"Uzumaki, kindly attempt to show more decorum than Mitsuo-chan is," Tsunade drawled. Aiko noticed for the first time that she was grinning and fidgeting, but didn't feel ashamed. She had a lot of energy, damnit, and hadn't been able to really burn any off in a long time. Which reminded her.

"Do I need to stop on the way out and let Fukiko-chan know practice is cancelled?" she wondered aloud.

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "I think I can take care of it," she said with practiced patience. "Aoba, you'll be in charge of this mission and primarily combat support if the situation degenerates. Hopefully, Aiko will be able to track this Utakata down and he'll come quietly, but if not, distract him so that she can immobilize him."

Aiko tried to work up indignation as the slightly skeptical look her partner leveled at her at that moment, but couldn't force herself to care. She was fucking awesome even if he didn't see it. And to be fair, this wasn't exactly the best display of her professionalism.

Then again, neither was the way that she initially left him in the dust when they rocketed out past the gates into the free, clean air of Konoha's forests. It took a disgracefully long time for her to come down from her cheer-induced high to realize that he was trailing a little too far behind her. Sheepishly, she circled back and let him take the lead.

"I apologize, Aoba-san," she forced out before she could be scolded. "I was just happy to run. I've been in the village for months straight."

He heaved a sigh, but dismissed the apology mildly enough. "That's quite all right. Just don't do it again." After a moment's pause, he cautiously asked, "So, is it true that you have the Hiraishin?"

' _Well, everyone knows that, I thought.'_

Aiko blinked twice before she realized what he was really asking. "Ah, we could cut out quite a bit of time, couldn't we?" she realized sheepishly. "Stop for a second, please." He furrowed his brow slightly, but did as she said. Aiko took note that he wasn't doing a good job of defending his position as top dog, but let it slide this time in favor of dropping to pick Hōseki up to her chest and tangling her finger tips in Mitsuo's fur. "We should start looking for the trail in Tea, right?"

"Ah, yes." He fidgeted slightly, as if about to ask what was going on. In lieu of explanation, Aiko pulled on a tag in Mist and two along Konoha's border, and sighed in satisfaction at how accurate her slingshot was.

"Be right back," she assured, rubbing her nose against Hōseki's before setting down the little dog and flickering back to Aoba's side. He was still looking at her old location, so she purposefully gave a little kick at the forest floor to garner his attention and held out a hand in his direction. The unspoken order was that he should take it, of course.

Aoba gave her a very skeptical look. Aiko blinked innocently and cocked her head to the side.

"Don't you want to hold my hand?"

Of course he didn't. He was a 34-year old man who probably thought she was a silly, hyper twit. If she were him, she'd avoid contact like the plague. Maybe he really did think she was contagious.

At the way she faked hurt, he heaved a put-upon sigh and gingerly took her fingers.

Teasing him like that had been an amusing diversion, but now she was actually somewhere she could work. Aiko briskly shook his hand off, all business, the instant that she rematerialized next to Mitsuo. "What town was he seen in again?" Aoba seemed to be dumb-founded at the sudden switch while she unfolded her map, so she impatiently prodded the paper with her finger. "I need to see the location to get a comparison for where we are," she slowly explained, as if to a child.

He didn't like that much, but obligingly enough helped her find the right settlement on the map. She could have found it on her own with time, but it was really much faster for the person who had a general familiarity with the layout of Tea country's infrastructure to point out the location. Aiko folded the paper up and tucked it away at her hip pouch.

The Kiri informant who had noted Utakata's passing was definitely not eager to talk to them, but eventually, he directly shared what he knew and what he suspected. The details of when Utakata had left town combined with the direction he'd gone in and what he'd done in the village was enough to set Aiko off on a theory. He'd been four days ahead of them, so any messages from an informant who'd spotted him since wouldn't have reached Mei yet. So Aiko left the dogs sitting in the informant's house and dragged Aoba off to apologetically ask Mei for the information to access whatever informants she had in two neighboring areas. She wasn't thrilled about exposing more resources, but obligingly enough gave up four names so that they could continue the search.

By that point, Aoba was looking distinctly queasy. He brushed off his front and hurriedly stepped away from her as soon as they were back in Tea. "You know, that technique was much less jarring when your father used it," he informed her in a tone of mild reproach.

All she could do was shrug. "No idea why," Aiko lied. It was probably because she wasn't as good with it as he'd been.

The withering look he shot her implied that he agreed about her comparative lack of skill, but it didn't bother her. Wasn't like he was any better, was he? It wasn't much of a shame not to be as skilled as a kage, parent or not. She'd inherited stunning good looks from him, not an intuitive understanding of his techniques.

To let Aoba's stomach settle, she didn't argue when he took off for their first interviewee at a run instead of letting her take them there quickly. She'd assumed that they'd come up with nothing and have to check the others, but once the white-haired mist plant had been convinced that they weren't there to assassinate him (and stopped throwing flowerpots) they found out that Utakata had indeed passed through… and he'd meandered over to a local teashop.

Once directed to the booth he'd had by a baffled but indulgent proprietor, Mitsuo picked up on the scents of the last ten or so people who'd sat there. Aoba had looked frustrated at that news, but Aiko wasn't surprised when her ninken confirmed that only one of the trails led directly out of town.

"Most people live here, ne?" she explained idly as she brushed past her superior officer. "Wouldn't have reason to leave all the time." Hōseki gave a superior-sounding huff, as if to ask why this useless man was even here. Aiko replied with a straight-faced yap (learned from Kakashi's most mischievous ninken) that probably shouldn't have been repeated in public. Mitsuo laughed, though, even as Aoba rolled his eyes and very deliberately didn't ask what the conversation was about.

From then on, it was a conventional hunt—if a hunt could ever be so called. The tree cover had given out into ambitious shrubs (she couldn't call them trees, none of them broke twenty feet in height), which let a marvelous breeze whip across the hill land and through her thin clothes. Tea country really was a marvelous place, Aiko thought, enjoying the heavily scented air from the wild plants that grew everywhere. It was heady, like incense, but fresh and natural instead of stuffy and smoky-hot.

Utakata found them before they found him, which shouldn't have happened. Maybe she just wasn't paying enough attention. Maybe he was just that good.

It would be a long time until Aiko forgot the swell of self-loathing that froze her muscles at the instant when she saw an iridescent glint off a strange round item in the grass and realized her ninken didn't see it in time.

She attempted to call his name, but it came out an incoherent bark. At least the sound conveyed alarm.

Mitsuo made a jerking aborted dodge and went down with a pained yelp, his momentum carrying him in an ungainly flip that fluffy white dogs were clearly not built to undergo. In another circumstance, the perplexed look on his doggy face would have been hilarious. As it was, it was overshadowed by the cracking sound that immediately followed when he whumped to the dirt.

Hōseki rocketed forward to engage the enemy with a growl as Aoba exploded into a cloud of crows that barely avoided the second small, glistening explosive bubble. But Aiko had skidded to a stop and flung herself over Mitsuo's downed form, frantically checking for breaks in the leg that he held aloft with a whimper. If Utakata wanted, he could have tried to take her out right then—she trusted that Hōseki would distract him, but he could have tried.

He didn't. "What do you want?" His footsteps were light, accompanied by the rustling of what sounded like expensive fabric. "Why are you chasing me?"

She didn't spare him a thought. Aoba could handle it.

Aiko kept her head bowed and tried to calm Mitsuo, soothingly rubbing at his back while he cried. It was a definite break, and he wasn't much more than a puppy. He'd never had a broken bone before.

"Have you heard of Akatsuki?"

She wasn't interested in the conversation at all and let it become a rumble of male voices, background noise rather than something important. If Utakata attacked, she'd kill him, and to hell with the consequences. She might kill him for this even if he didn't attack. Until then, Mitsuo was more important. "It's alright, you did well," Aiko mumbled, trying not to cry. He lifted his head and tried to lick her soothingly but couldn't reach, so she leaned in and let him lap at her cheek. "Go home, okay? Or- Or do you want to go to Tsunade-sama?"

Surely he had good medics at home, but really he deserved the best. She probably wouldn't mind being asked to heal such a good dog, would she?

He managed to convey that both of them abandoning the mission would be a little extreme, and gave her one last doggy kiss before ending the chakra thread that tied him to Tea country side for his own home.

For the first time, she glared up at her target in person. Utakata was a good-looking man, or at least she'd thought so when she'd seen the black and white picture in the dossier. In person, however, his hair was stupid and the lazy set to his eyes made him look unintelligent instead of discerning. Also, what was the point of wearing a kimono if you were going to let it hang open all the way to your hips? It was highly impractical for a shinobi—he could only be doing it because he thought it looked cool. Poser.

"What are you staring at?" Even his voice pissed her off. It was a smooth, disinterested tone. It sounded as if he didn't have the time of day for her, even though he'd been the one to initiate conversation.

"An asshole," Aiko countered calmly. Aoba's face fell at that particular bit of bluntness, but she didn't care at the moment. "Because no one else would try to blow up a puppy as their first target. Do you maybe want us to wait while you find a bunny-rabbit to kick or something? I have time." She gestured expansively at the greenery around them.

He had the grace to look a little flustered. "That was not a _puppy_ ," Utakata denied. "That slavering beast had to be at least five feet tall."

Slavering beast? She was going to turn him into a _bloody smear_. Mitsuo was an adorable little love, and probably twice as clever as Utakata was. And at least Mitsuo had manners, even if he did lick his plate.

"He's a growing boy," Aiko huffed. Hōseki gave a warning growl that seemed to startle Utakata into remembering that there was another dog present.

"I think that's enough," Aoba cut in sternly. "Please be calm, Uzumaki-san. I'm certain he did not intend to harm your friend. Now, Utakata-san. We really have to insist that you at least consider returning with us. This is for your own safety, as well as that of everyone in the Elemental Countries. Akatsuki will stop at nothing to capture jinchuuriki. I'm sure that you are formidable, but no one man can stand against half a dozen S-class shinobi. This is folly. The Mizukage offers your protection and amnesty."

His lips thinned further, if that was even possible. "I care not what my former village wants," Utakata denied. "I can avoid Akatsuki."

"Yes, like you avoided us," Aiko pointed out sardonically. "It took me less than a day to track you. We spent maybe three hours start to finish, not accounting for when we stopped for tea. Frankly, you're not that stealthy. You've just been low priority until now."

Utakata gave her the strangest look—perhaps the right word was evaluative. "Uzumaki, he said?" Suddenly, his voice had a slight lilt. He shook his head slightly and let his eyes flutter all but closed. His tone lowered dismissively. "I expected someone a bit more impressive, if you're really the girl who supposedly defeated the Nibi and escaped the Akatsuki."

' _There is a huge difference between defeating the nibi and defeating the nibi jinchuuriki, you insufferable dodo.'_

"Learn to live with disappointment," Aiko informed him crisply. "I'm not here to impress you. I'm here to convince you to return home where you're safe using my wit and charming personality, or to hit you over the head and drag you back to Mist over my shoulder."

The look he gave her was absolutely withering, and the response sardonic. "I wish you the best of luck with that endeavor."

She just shrugged, eyes hard. The breeze that had seemed so nice before while they ran carried a stifling, biting heat now. That may have just been her poor mood, however.

"Please, Utakata-san," Aoba sighed, probably cursing teenagers in general. "We do have you out-numbered, and this doesn't need to become a fight. I would prefer not to use force."

Utakata shook his head slowly. "I can never return to Kiri," he informed them. His tone was light, but Aiko imagined she heard a bitter undertone. "They only wish to use me what the power I contain."

' _Well, duh,'_ Aiko thought rather uncharitably. It wasn't pretty, but that was what it meant to be a jinchuuriki. It was what being a shinobi was in general, really.

But he continued. "I cannot and will not trust any who hail from Kiri."

She blinked. That didn't sound right. "No one from Kiri?" Aiko confirmed a bit skeptically. "That seems like a big generalization. It's like saying that you can't trust anyone who prefers udon over ramen."

"My own teacher betrayed me on Kiri's orders," Utakata informed her rather snidely. "Who then could I trust?"

"That sounds more like a problem with your teacher in particular than with Kiri," Aiko countered genuinely, sitting down and bracing her elbows on her knee. Aoba seemed perplexed, but she ignored him while she cradled her chin in a palm and observed their target thoughtfully. This was a bit more interesting. "He definitely shouldn't have done that, of course. My teacher would have told Konoha to go eat dirt if they wanted to sell me out."

Of course, Kakashi might not be exactly representative of the average or healthy individual. But she'd do the same for Fukiko. Hell, she had essentially thumbed her nose as a higher authority for Fukiko before she'd even met the kid. That was what it meant to take responsibility for guiding a young life.

(She ignored that the thought made her feel guilty for passing ROOT off onto Tsunade. A master-apprentice relationship was one of the best vehicles for guidance precisely because it was flexible and personal. She could hardly mentor a large group of adults).

But he shook his head, eyes narrowed. "No. The entire concept of masters and apprentices is fundamentally flawed," Utakata rejected her argument. "I will never again be an apprentice."

"Well, yeah," Aiko rolled her eyes. "You're too old now. But you could be a master and treat your apprentice in the way that you think they should be treated. That's the dangerous and wonderful part about that relationship—it's so personalized to the individuals who enter into it."

"It gives unnatural authority to one individual." However displeased he was, Utakata seemed passionate enough about this topic that he moved from the deceptively languid posture that hinted he was about to bolt away at any moment to something stiffer and more genuine. Aoba kept his mouth firmly shut, gaze darting between the two. Aiko took that to mean he was going to let her have a try at talking sense into their target. "The master and apprentice relationship is reliant on inequality. It subjugates one to the other and allows the master to overrule the apprentice, who is should be his equal, as a fellow sentient being."

' _I'm sensing a lot of baggage here, and can't help but note that he didn't say fellow human,'_ Aiko observed. _'He must be on very good terms with his bijuu, then. This isn't just about his teacher. It's tied into his state as a jinchuuriki.'_

She was sympathetic to that, actually. Making jinchuuriki was completely unethical. Of course, so was murder, and she did plenty of that if the circumstances were right. "I agree that all sentient beings are created equal and should be treated equally, but the primary function of a master-apprentice relationship is not reliant on inequality," Aiko calmly rebutted, letting her eyelids slide mostly shut and observing his reaction.

What the hell, why not try philosophizing at him for a while.

"It is instead intrinsically attached to hierarchy, which is neither good nor bad. We all live in hierarchy, unless we never deal with others." That was a mild jab at his wandering loner act. Judging by the brow he arched, Utakata caught it. Aiko unapologetically gave him a playful little smirk. "The pack can't function without hierarchy. We'd just be wild animals." Her tone was innocent, but the implication was clear.

That jab he actually quirked a smile at, slightly hostile though it was. "And that's not a form of oppression? The strong forcing their worldview and agenda on the weak?"

Aoba looked bored out of his mind.

"Only when perverted," Aiko sighed, as if he was droll for even trying to make that connection. "All interaction is cooperative, at its core."

"Your naivety is charming," Utakata drawled in a tone that said it most certainly was not, looking down on her. "But you are incorrect."

She raised a brow and inserted as much scorn as possible into her next words. "I'm wrong?" Aiko repeated mockingly. "My, that sounds an awful lot like you're falling back on your original statement because you can't think of a rebuttal."

"It's not worth my time." Utakata gave a little jump, and—

"That's not terribly practical," Aiko mumbled under her breath, absolutely flummoxed as he attempted to escape via bubble. It was really pretty, she supposed, if a bit conspicuous. And it wasn't what she thought of first when defensible transport came to mind. It almost had to be permeable, and bubbles weren't exactly known for being sturdy in the first place.

She badly stifled a snort. This shouldn't be amusing, it really shouldn't. It probably indicated that he had a very dangerous, unique set of techniques that he could do terrible things to her delicate person with. In fact, he'd been living as a missing nin for a while, which was a notoriously hard life. He shouldn't be underestimated.

Still...

_'Glinda, you're leaving far too early! Don't I get some shiny shoes out this deal?'_

Luckily, her captain was able to force down any amusement more easily than she was. Perhaps he just had no sense of humor, but she'd forgive it. Someone had to deal with the fact that their princess was floating away to another castle, after all.

Aoba flung his arms out and what appeared to be (in technical terms) a ginormous cloud of chattering crows flew out and up at Utakata. They easily invaded his personal bubble and harassed him. The strain on his face as the first one broke through the glistening water let the Konoha shinobi know two things.

The bubble was indeed designed to allow physical objects to pass through, probably so that he could attack.

And it would be a pain for him to escape if birds were harassing him the whole time, which would force him to choose between killing the hundreds of annoyances and maintaining his sphere.

He chose to let the bubble pop, flitting to the top of one of the ambitious bushes and starting off west at a dash.

By that time, Aiko had stood up and flitted after him, only letting Aoba leap in front of her as an afterthought. The birds abandoned the bubble—which was good, because the tiny bubbles hidden inside the large burst transport detonated and sent a few unfortunate stragglers drifting to the ground in bloody feathers—and dove at the jinchuuriki from above.

She hoped they'd poo on his hair. Utakata twisted slightly to face them, revealing that he'd pulled some strange flute-like device out of his kimono and lifted it to his lips.

It probably wasn't to play get-away music, so Aiko was ready to bolt to the side regardless of the fact that she would fall further behind when a trail of green, glimmering bubbles shot out from his device at unpleasant speed. Despite her preparation, she felt the whoosh of air disturbed by their passing, and she'd had more time to react than her temporary captain who had been in front of her.

' _Holy cow, Aoba is kind of a badass,_ ' she realized, when her eyes registered that her companion had chosen the path less traveled by leaping over the bubbles like he thought he was a bird himself. That left him in the air and unable to dodge for a crucial moment, which could have ended him if the bubbles had been able to change trajectory—but they didn't, and he flipped in the air like a world class gymnast and continued running when he hit the ground without losing any speed. He immediately flung three short blades—Utakata dodged them all without even turning around.

The green bubbles were apparently an acid. Aiko wasn't any sort of expert, of course, but the sizzling sound and nearly immediate collapse of greenery behind them was a pretty good clue. Aiko lost just a foot or so of distance when she had to gather just enough concentration to form two winding chakra chains and trail them down each arm, but Aoba had caught up and moved to knock Utakata down with a swipe to the back of the neck.

With preternatural speed, the jinchuuriki swept around in a rustle of fabric and easily swung under the blow. Aiko could have sworn that he was smirking and his eyes were amused, but it might have been prejudice. His reflexes were inhumanly good. She knew that he would use the change in momentum to swing around Aoba and knock him over from behind, then dart over to her. With both of them immobilized, he would flee before they could regain their bearings. Or try to, at least. If he didn't really mess her up, she'd be able to catch him if she dropped the chains, and she didn't think he actually wanted to kill them. He'd been pulling his punches so far.

Shame that he forgot about the angry dog, who was also inhumanly fast. Hōseki probably weighed only about thirty pounds, but when she strategically applied that weight by latching onto Utakata's right ankle as it twisted without even attempting to slow, it had the humorous effect of bringing him down into a destabilized splitz. He might have recovered from that if Aoba hadn't knocked into him an eighteenth of a second later, wide-mouthed and clearly trying to dodge.

' _That looked painful,_ ' Aiko observed cheerfully, pinning Utakata with a messy pool of blunt chains as soon as Aoba's momentum had carried him in a roll of limbs over the now very disgruntled 19-year old jinchuuriki. He made the mistake of jerking, which gave her all the room she needed to slip the chains around his body and wrap him up like a caterpillar.

"Wow, that was embarrassing," she commented loudly. Hōseki spat out her mouthful of flesh and gave a loud bark through teeth that shone with blood.

"Oh, shut up," Aoba groaned, pushing himself up to a seated position. His glasses were crooked enough for her to see that his eyes were dark colored before he hastily adjusted them.

* * *

Aoba coughed uncomfortably and broke eye contact, though Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "It went acceptably," he half-asked, half informed.

"Well, that's convincing," Tsunade drawled sardonically, tapping her fingers against her desk. "Did you have complaints about the way that Aiko did her job?"

That had never happened before, but then again, she only seemed to work with a small group of people. And it wasn't as if that scruffy mentor of hers didn't have his share of infuriating habits. Some of them could have rubbed off.

"No, of course not," Aoba denied professionally. "She located the jinchuuriki and did manage to subdue him after I brought him down."

His tone on the last five-or-so words was odd, but Tsunade was already rolling her eyes and moving on with her life and report. "That's nice. So Terumi has him, huh? He didn't come quietly?"

After he was done, she sent him out and had Aiko come back in. Aoba was enough of a professional that he didn't let on that he was wondering why their debriefings had to be separate, although he certainly was.

Really, there was no reason she needed two debriefings on this mission. But acting as though she did would provide an excuse for ha—

' _I need to give the cloak and dagger routine a rest,_ ' Tsunade scolded herself as Aiko slipped in and gave her a curious look. She didn't feel obligated to explain that she'd forgotten she no longer needed to hide things from Danzo. It was just a force of habit not to openly meet with Aiko without an easy explanation. Perhaps it was the topic of this conversation that had moved her mind in that old pattern. "I have a present for you," she wryly informed Aiko.

Aiko was smart enough to be wary. Or maybe she'd just noticed a pattern.

"You're no fun," Tsunade grumbled. Still she pushed her chair back far enough to retrieve a sealed envelope from one of her drawers and held it out. "Well go on, take it." As soon as her hands were free and Aiko was stepping back, running her fingers over the paper consideringly, Tsunade sighed. "I think you need this information right now. It's what I've had put together from Danzo's records," she explained. Aiko's expression instantly became inscrutable, which made her wince a little. It was a reflexive reaction to thinking about Danzo and ROOT, probably. What had been done to that girl?

Those thoughts were useless, so Tsunade waved them away and trudged forward. "Since at least some of them have decided you're their new boss, I thought it prudent that you have some sort of idea who is out there." It might have been funny under other circumstances to think of Danzo's devotees flocking hopelessly to the woman who'd shut him down, but the lingering possibility that someone would figure out she wasn't really Danzo's chosen successor was worrying. When that happened, would anyone figure out that Aiko had been involved in his death? If they did, they'd want her head. She should at least know who to be wary around.

There was no need to explain that to Aiko. The girl clearly knew what was being implied, and gave a grateful bow.

Tsunade waved her off and out of her office, before getting the guilt-driven urge for a drink. She had a piece of hard candy instead, and tried not to think that she'd single-handedly managed to arrange the possibility that a group with about a hundred combatants within the city would want a teenager dead. If news of Aiko's association with ROOT and involvement in its downfall came out, no amount of well-wishing would change the fact that Aiko would be deader than a doornail. Konoha's walls didn't protect against inside threats.

' _Maybe I should take Jiraiya's advice,'_ she thought glumly.

It had seemed impossibly cruel when he'd first suggested it. These ROOT shinobi had been wronged by Konoha's oversight. How could she possibly justify sending them out on dangerous missions and hoping they would die so they weren't her problem anymore?

What she _wanted_ to do was feel them out individually and have them rehabilitated. But there was always the risk that someone would fake compliance and raise the alarm with their fellow ROOT. Danzo was gone, but they still had his procedures to fall back on, and they were a formidably sized force. It would be utterly impossible to go after them all at once, whether it was to help them or arrest them, and it would only take one of them to raise the alarm.

' _I don't want to kill them,_ ' Tsunade thought a bit helplessly.

That had never been what she'd wanted. Having Sai around as one of her bodyguards made the guilt from her thoughts even worse. He wasn't a bad kid. Surely there were others who could be saved, and assimilated into Konoha's forces. Maybe they would assimilate on their own, given time.

But on the other hand, maybe they wouldn't, and then she would have an uncontrolled traitorous faction with unknown objectives operating within her village. She really should inform ANBU and the Jounin, so that they at least knew about the threat. But that could only lead to a military clash. Not only would that be a horrific waste of manpower when they needed it badly, but it was the exact situation she had been trying to steer away from.

Having them report to Aiko worked to stall for time, if nothing else. They were used to taking orders. If they thought nothing was wrong, then hopefully they would just naturally be integrated into the village proper when she didn't send them out on excessively militaristic missions (and really, building bases in foreign powers was too aggressive. What had Danzo been thinking? If he hadn't planned to eliminate the local authorities, he would have been found eventually).

She did have to admit that Jiraiya's solution was neatest, provided she could trust them to fulfill whatever missions she sent them out on. A lot more people could die on missions without arousing suspicion than could be disappeared from within the village. If most of the ROOT only knew one other member or so, it might take quite a while to realize what was happening. And their numbers would be significantly lessened when they did.

Tsunade heaved a groan and put the matter aside for now. She wasn't getting anywhere by re-hashing the same problem over and over.

* * *

"You look like the cat that got the cream," Chouji's mother remarked, idly playing with the red stud in her right ear.

Aiko shrugged, before remembering that wasn't considered a particularly polite response. "I went for a good run today," she explained.

Chouji made a face, shaking his head vigorously. "Dad, you have the oddest friends." He gave her a conspiratorial wink to show he meant no harm. "You invite her over for dinner, and she talks of such stomach-turning things," he complained.

"Bah." Choza settled at the head of the table and gave Aiko a faux-stern stare. "Young lady, in this household, we don't speak of such things at the table."

Baffled, she blinked twice before realizing he might be partially serious. "Running?" she clarified.

The only person remotely close to her age gave a solemn nod, looking uncannily like his father when he did so. "Or at least, you can't talk about running for fun. Even Ino doesn't do that."

"Oh, little Ino?" His mother (whose name Aiko had completely forgotten and so was desperately hoping someone would mention soon) queried. "I haven't seen her around here in so long, how is she doing?"

And Chouji flushed a brilliant red, sticking his chopsticks into the table on accident and bumping his fist into his plate. That was bad enough, but then the damn thing flipped and ended up on his lap.

It wasn't particularly kind, but Aiko joined in with snickers when Choza burst out into laughter. Chouji pouted, even as his mother patted his hand sympathetically and tossed him a napkin to clean up his lap.

"Don't make that face, son," Choza managed to chide. "There's nothing wrong with getting flustered by a pretty girl. Just try not to do that in front of Ino-chan."

Chouji was still beet red. His expression implied he would rather do a great many terrible things than have his parents tease him about a pretty girl with an outsider looking in. "Excuse me," he choked out, before fleeing with surprising grace for such a big teen.

Aiko pressed her lips together to keep from smiling and refrained from offering comment.

"Well, we've embarrassed one teenager," Akimichi-san said cheerfully, reaching for some sort of dessert in a sugary frosting. "How may we make you uncomfortable today, Aiko-chan? Are there any cute boys in your life?"

"I plead the right not to implicate myself in a court of law," Aiko deadpanned. Of course, that wasn't a thing here, so the looks she got in return were odd. At least no one pursued it further.

"That aside, have you decided about what you're going to do about the small council seat?" Choza changed the subject. "You're going to have to resign from the large council, even if you choose to defer this offer."

"I'll somehow soldier on without that on my calendar."

Choza's lips twitched, but he waited patiently to a response to his actual question.

Aiko hesitated for just a moment, feeling oddly like this was a test, and then bit her lip for just a moment. "I think I'm going to accept the appointment," she admitted with just a hint of grouchiness. "If I really hate it, I can make Naruto or Karin my representative later. But it would be churlish to reject a good-faith offer. Politically speaking, it wouldn't look good for me to turn my nose up at something that a lot of clans covet. I'd hardly make any friends that way. Besides, there are actually contentious issues involving Uzumaki, and it would be irresponsible to abandon a possible tool to advocate for the others."

Naruto was an obvious issue, of course, as the jinchuuriki. Some people were never going to like him, and even those who did might still see him as a weapon before he was a person.

But he wasn't the only problem. Karin was a foreigner—no one liked those very much. She'd had enough trouble at the hospital with people refusing to work with her to make that clear.

And then there was Hinata… Kami, where to start there? She had no idea how she was going to sit in meetings with Hyuuga Hiashi and not implode from the sheer awkwardness of it all, but she was going to have to figure something out. Hinata had a tougher skin than she'd had when they were children, luckily, but she wasn't immune to the fact that a lot of people disliked her for snubbing the Hyuuga in exchange for a rather disreputable family.

In other words, she had a gaggle of silly bastards who needed someone to look out for them. Besides, the small council hardly ever met except in emergencies when the Hokage wasn't available to give direction. Considering the potential gain available, the commitment required would be small.

Choza looked unduly proud at her responsible decision. "That's very mature," he praised quietly. A genuine smile seemed to peel ten years off his face. "I think that you have a pretty tight grasp of the mentality a clan head needs."

Aiko attempted a smile, but it probably came across as vaguely nauseous. At the look her poor job garnered, she hastily tried to explain. She didn't want him to think she was ungrateful for his tutoring, but, "I don't know that I really feel like a clan head, or even a clan. I know that _the Uzumaki_ are a real clan," she explained, waving her hands apologetically. "I just… I don't understand how I fit in context with that history. I didn't grow up with it. and what I have now hardly feels like a clan. It feels more like I'm taking care of my little brother and his friends. I don't mind being responsible for them, but it doesn't seem like…" she paused, struggling for words.

Sympathetically, Choza helped her, suggesting, "It just doesn't feel quite legitimate, does it? I can imagine that it might be hard to come to terms with a history you're unfamiliar with. You don't have the same sense of where the clan has been and where it's going that you should." Empathy was written in his features, and his voice lowered as if he was sharing a secret. "I don't know that I would feel any differently, if I didn't have that history as guidance. Perhaps you need to spend some time familiarizing yourself with your roots. The Uzumaki taijutsu and fuinjutsu are lost, and the names of people you've never met will hardly be inspiring, but it might help to see how they lived. That sort of thing."

Aiko smiled politely, but she didn't think reading the sparse histories available was really going to help. Konoha had a fair bit of information on how the Uzumaki had interacted with them—records of services rendered, famous friendships, and things of that ilk—but nothing that could tell her what it had been like to be a clan.


	96. Really Excellent Friends

I meant to put this in the last chapter. A reviewer (eSemmel) came up with the single best idea for a story there has ever been after the scene with Obito/Tobi/Madara in chapter 94. Tragically, it is not a direction that this story is going in, though I seriously considered changing to accommodate it.

Here it is :

"Let me make an educated guess to see if I have made sense of it all: While spying on Aiko, Tobi will come to the right or wrong conclusion - depending on the version of the fic - that Sai is her chosen companion. From there, it is obvious what he must do! Sai will get private lessons of how to be a man among men, the bestest guy ever... from Tobi."

Aiko doesn't even have to be involved, really. It's just the idea of Tobi teaching Sai how to be a gentleman that really gets me. If some kind soul out there would write that, I would appreciate them forever and ever.

Any takers?

* * *

And now on to shenanigans.

* * *

Getting into Konoha was even easier than it had been sixteen years ago, and stirred up all sorts of nostalgia. Obito passed by the Uchiha district out of curiosity, and couldn't help but feel resentful when he saw it was just as extravagant as ever. Even Itachi-chan hadn't been enough to contain Sasuke's ego, apparently.

Madara offered no comment on that. His opinions on the Uchiha who caroused with the Senju woman were well established.

Tobi, on the other hand, was impatient and disinterested in ruminating over how a clan of one could still manage to maintain the stuffy, oppressive compound or why he would want to. They had come to Konoha to get things done, not list reasons as to why Konoha irritated them.

He had a point, so Obito pushed him down and slid on. The simplicity of his chosen disguise had almost caused him to laugh, but it seemed to work. No one paid him any mind or recognized his Akatsuki guise with the cloak folded up over his arm, nor was anyone rude enough to try to find out why a man with what appeared to be horrific burn scars on his arm and sunglasses was wearing a genjutsu over his face. He hadn't altered his features terribly much, but it was enough to hide the massive scarring and emphasize the features that had set him apart him other Uchiha, who tended to have slimmer, effeminate builds.

His first task was one of professional interest, rather than a personal one. The news that the insufferable fossil Danzo had finally been obliging enough to die had washed over Hi No Kuni, but the news that _hadn't_ accompanied it was more interesting. For whatever reason, the new Hokage had chosen to suppress the reports of what must have been found on his body. Perhaps she had been the one to have him killed, or else Tsunade just saw the value in keeping the Uchiha eyes she'd found on his body as a resource.

That wouldn't do. If they belonged to anyone, it was him. Danzo had been one of Madara's failed experiments, and the proof that merely inserting the genetic materials of the sage's sons into a third party would not result in a Rinnegan. But this body was one of the last descendants of the sage's younger son. In any case, he could have use for extra Sharingan… Especially cousin Shisui's.

It was a marvel that the hospital hadn't been renovated since the last time he had been here. Bakashi had never bothered, but he'd come here so many times to bring Rin lunch or drag her away from her work before she wore herself out… Obito shook the memories off like a dog shook his coat. It didn't matter anymore. This place had Rin in every tile and window, but it was only a pale echo of the girl he had loved.

Granted, all he had was guesswork for locating his prizes. But the hospital hadn't had official storage for stolen eyeballs back in the day, so he first checked the office of Tsunade's ghoulish assistant.

' _Predictable,'_ he sighed. Still, he hurried out of the office with his prizes. He'd never known Shizune well, but she was almost certainly competent enough to check the wall safe reasonably often. Once that happened, security would be tightened in the village, although she would almost certainly suspect an inside job.

That left his more personal errand to be taken care of, with the vials carefully deposited in his personal dimensional space where no one else could touch them. It would be optimal to resolve this task within the day as well, before Konoha knew to look for him. But that might not be practical. Besides, he did not fear anyone Konoha could set on him.

Finding Aiko might be a problem, but he hadn't come this far to be stymied by such a thing, despite having no idea where she lived, trained, and what her schedule was like. Konoha was a bad place. It was also a predictable place. There was no official record of shinobi residences outside of Hokage tower. Deliveries were made to secure locations at mail centers, or through shinobi who had been thoroughly vetted and possessed near encyclopedic knowledge of where their peers could be found.

If he wanted to wait a day or so, he could bring an unaddressed letter to the mail center and see how long it took her to pick it up. But he knew something that would be faster.

Ding

"Yamanaka flower shop, how may I help you?" A pretty teenager with messy brown hair in a ponytail wiped her dirty hands on an apron and smiled up at him, still crouched by a massive flowerpot.

As it turned out, the girl was a civilian employee, and she apologized that she would have to wait until one of her shinobi coworkers came in to take care of the delivery. She flushed when Madara smoothly assured her it would be no problem. He had intended to take care of this on his own, but Obito had never been good around girls. Madara could charm, however, if he was so inclined.

As far as the girl knew, he left then. In actuality, he watched in disinterest as she abandoned her show of professionalism for a thick treatise on the properties of electricity that had been hidden behind the counter. Still, watching her read was probably less painful than being forced to endure the book himself, so Obito silently bore it. At least she read silently.

Morning turned into afternoon and early evening before his silent watch bore any fruit. The shinobi coworker unsurprisingly turned out to be a Yamanaka girl, who seemed obscenely giggly and rudely interested in why Aiko was receiving flowers. Obito scowled, but merely followed the blonde as she crossed town to a rather unimpressive building and left the arrangement on the short table outside Aiko's door.

Obito made a quick check of the surroundings, ascertained that they were alone, and flickered directly in front of the little idiot as she turned to leave, forced her to look into his eye, and ripped away her memory of the last half hour or so. Dismissively, he spun a new memory of having a headache and going for a walk before hiding again and watching her dazedly walk away.

He had let the shop girl pick the bouquet. Although if she had done her job correctly they would be an appropriate gift from a friend, he casually picked the vase up and slid sideways into Kamui to deposit them in his personal dimension. The flowers were lovely, but it would be an inappropriate gift. Aiko didn't remember that they were friends. Tobi, who had no interest at all in a supposed past life he didn't believe in, protested that they were already excellent friends. Madara was mutinously silent, having hoped that Obito would give up on this mission.

Obito wasn't an idiot. He knew that Madara didn't believe his theory. Obito was willing to concede that he might not be right either—but he could check, couldn't he? He'd have to be trash to not devote a few hours to the mystery.

Regardless of whether she was simply similar enough to make him think of Rin, or was his friend in some real way, she still had less substance than the Rin the outer Madara had promised him as a result of the Eye of the Moon Plan. Nothing could change that. One day soon, he would be with his real team again, before Rin had gotten hurt and Kakashi had gotten corrupted by the foul world that they lived in. And it would be perfect.

Madara seemed harshly amused by that _. 'Boy, your new pet has no place in that world,_ ' he pointed out. _'No matter how she reminds you of your lost love, or even your teacher before he became cold.'_

Obito shook that thought off with a scowl. It would be his perfect world. He could do anything he wanted.

Besides, she quieted Tobi. Tobi had been useful as an act in the Akatsuki, but that time was coming to an end. Perhaps giving him something else to keep him occupied, like a friend, would keep Tobi out of trouble. Tobi deserved a friend. Someone sweet and kind who didn't mind that he wasn't the smartest or most mature.

' _Hypocritical, to see the innocence in one of Minato's children and the other child as a tool,_ ' Madara continued, enjoying riling Obito up when he was trying to focus. Inner Madara was aggressive like that when he didn't get his way. Of course, he usually got what he wanted.

That was different, Obito knew. Minato had made his own son into a tool. Obito hadn't been the one to make that choice. If the Fourth Hokage hadn't been so foolish and resisted him, he would have had the Kyuubi for the last sixteen years and his plan would be that much closer to fruition. Aiko wasn't as dangerous or essential. Pein was worried about her Hiraishin, but Obito did not fear that. Minato had been far more skilled with it, and he had fallen. That was proof enough of the righteousness of his plan. Besides, Obito had a superior technique. Kamui could take him anywhere that he could think of. If Pein or Zetsu could locate a jinchuuriki for him, he could travel to them just as easily as Aiko-chan did. Still, it would be better for them both if she could be coaxed into ceasing her meddling. Aiko was going to run afoul of Akatsuki quickly if she didn't refrain from attempting to save the damned.

Carefully, he avoided thinking about their differing intentions for wanting to locate jinchuuriki. He'd never wanted to hurt anyone. That wasn't his intention at all. If he didn't have the assurance that all the ills of this world could be rectified, he might not have been able to bring himself to the violence necessary to usher in a new world.

Konoha would be one of the first villages to fall, of course. Madara had been right from the beginning, although Obito hadn't seen it at the time. The village of his birth had gone far astray. They espoused heroics, but what they practiced was domination and death.

He slipped his cloak and mask on and slid the glasses into his pocket. It wouldn't do to frighten her with his disfigurement.

Obito paused.

Would it be frightening for her to be approached in her own home by a man she didn't know that well? Tobi indignantly chimed that she was his friend, that she had been nicer to him than any of the Akatsuki, but he ignored the dissent. Maintaining dominance was beginning to wear on him, but the others weren't suited for this.

Perhaps he wasn't either, if he had never thought about how a teenage girl might feel to find someone she knew only as an S class criminal in her home. Tobi was naïve, and far too certain that Aiko would be easily convinced to come play with him. But Obito wasn't an idealistic little boy like Tobi. He had been once, but Madara had fixed him.

It was crude and ham-handed, but he affixed a note to the door claiming that the hot water and heating was out. Hopefully, that would convince her to go for a walk, to talk to her landlord if nothing else. He only had to wait until she went somewhere relatively isolated but neutral to approach her. That might also be intimidating, yes, but to an extent that was unavoidable. She would never listen to what he had to say if she was distracted.

The sound of light footsteps roused him to the real world. Intent to see if the Yamanaka girl had led him astray, Obito phased into intangibility with the wall.

* * *

"Seriously?" Aiko asked under her breath, ripping the note off her door and crumpling it in one motion as she stepped inside.

It just seemed so painfully mundane to get a notice from her landlord that the hot water was out. That meant no heating as well, so the apartment was going to be frigid overnight when the temperature inevitably dropped. Pleasant.

' _At least I was warned before I stepped into the shower,_ ' Aiko counted her blessings. Despite not feeling particularly blessed at the moment. Sai was still in a bad mood with her—he seemed to know more than she'd told him about how ROOT had been coming out of the woodwork—and he'd given her more of a workout than she had planned for.

Angry sex? Pretty awesome, when he wanted to spend enough time with her to have it. Angry taijutsu practice? That was an experience she could live without. They'd fought with blunt swords for safety, which meant that she had raised welts and bruises instead of cuts. He was the better swordsman, no doubt about it. Of course, he'd trained in that discipline far longer than she had.

She peeled her gloves and extraneous clothing off and left them in the hamper, before padding off to stuff a thin robe of plain green and some soaps into a bag. She'd had an allergic reaction the last time she used the stuff provided at the bathhouse—it had sucked big time. It wasn't an experiment she was keen to relive.

It was a relatively cool night, so she found herself alone in the bath. That was fine by her—it was always so awkward to talk to strangers. After she'd actually cleaned up, she settled to soak in one of the isolated pools and just drifted for a shamefully long time, enjoying the heat.

She might have enjoyed it less if she'd realized she wasn't actually alone. Obito wasn't enjoying Aiko's bath at all, which would have provided her with cold comfort had he chosen to speak up.

' _To_ _an extent, my plan worked,'_ Obito mused woodenly on the other side of the fence in a tree. He had a view into the onsen if he looked—which he most certainly would not, except to make sure that he didn't miss when she left. Of course it had been his plan, so it had only worked in the backwards, contrary way that his plans tended to work.

Madara didn't see the problem. She was alone in the onsen, and he could approach her there. In fact, she was less likely to try to attack him since she wasn't armed.

Obito didn't bother responding to that bit of stupidity. Madara was asexual, but that was no excuse for failing to consider how aggressive that would seem.

' _Tobi doesn't mind,'_ piped up the boy who had been quietest all day. He sounded unusually sly. ' _Tobi thinks Aiko-chan is pretty.'_

Disgusted, Obito pushed Tobi down, but he was awake now and wouldn't be silenced. Tobi had never matured beyond his mid teens, but that didn't excuse his thoughts. Shameful. Now that Tobi's teenage filth had been mentioned, Obito felt distinctly dirty even for waiting outside of the bathhouse where he could see nothing.

Ignoring Madara's growing irritation and claims that he was wasting time as well as Tobi's sullen pouting, Obito waited hours until the girl he'd been waiting for finally emerged from the steaming onsen, idly finger-combing her hair as she padded out in thin sandals.

Aiko had found getting out of the bath to be monstrously difficult, not least because the night had turned even colder and she really should have packed warmer clothing. Still shivering, she cut through a park instead of going directly home and counted that the walk would keep her warm enough. Chill or not, she thought it was nice to breathe in fresh air instead of the staleness of her apartment, which would hardly be more comfortable. She should probably crack the windows tonight, if she stayed up long enough. Come to think of it, there was a book she was dying to get to and that would keep her up for long enough…

' _Too trusting,'_ Madara whispered disapprovingly once it became clear that Aiko wasn't going to take the safe, well-lit and populated route home. Obito disagreed. That had been one of the best things about Rin. She had been innocent, and not at all fearful, because she trusted her comrades would take care of her.

The thought soured his mood. That trust had gotten her killed at Kakashi's hands. He still couldn't begin to comprehend the senseless violence inherent in that murder, or how his friend had changed to be so cold. Kakashi had never been a warm individual, but he had shown he cared when it counted. Obito had trusted him to take care of Rin when he died. Was it lucky or a curse that he hadn't died, had lived long enough to see just how twisted his friend had become?

Kakashi couldn't be blamed, of course, but neither could he be trusted with anyone so innocent and vulnerable ever again. He'd failed _again_ —how could he possibly be taking care of his new teammate, a girl who had a high-risk status due to her habit of inconveniencing Akatsuki, if he wasn't even present? She was easy prey. The girl didn't even know she'd been followed and watched for hours.

Still caught in moodiness, Obito noted that they were in the center of the mid-sized park (one where he had played as a child, no less) and split off two shadow clones to keep watch while he approached Aiko. Then he flash-stepped forward to cut off Aiko. In his defense, he hadn't intended to startle her.

Aiko was an adult twice over. If asked, she would swear on her soul that she was competent at her job and self-contained enough when it mattered. Definitely not a hysterical or irrational ninny, by anyone's rubric.

But Aiko jumped and _screamed_ like an actress in a slasher film when a man in a red and black cloak literally appeared in front of her. She may or may not have also made jazz hands in what was the worst example of defensive movement ever. That part would not be going in her report.

It was one thing to get mixed up with scary, dangerous people while she was out and about doing things like intentionally getting into fights or trying to keep Naruto and other trouble-magnets safe. That at least allowed her the mercy of some mental preparation. But there was just no smooth way to transition mentally from 'going for a nice hot soak' to 'one of those bastards just dropped out of a tree like a murderous baby koala'.

Obito immediately regretted the abrupt action when she startled and threw her hands up, not least because her shriek hurt his ears. The chagrin he saw on her face mirrored the irritation he felt with himself. How stupid of him. Someone was bound to have heard that.

' _Indeed,_ ' Madara agreed scathingly, slipping lightning-quick to the surface and moving the body to cover Aiko's mouth, simultaneously preventing her from moving.

' _No!'_ Obito protested. He hadn't wanted to scare her. It was a little late for that, however.

Her legs were bending slightly in preparation for evasive action—and then he was suddenly not present. Which was unnerving, Aiko noted, wondering if that what it was like when she used Hiraishin on other people it really wasn't funny and-

An oversized hand was clapped over her mouth, the attached arm digging into her chest. The other arm was occupied with snatching and pinning both of her wrists to her belly. She was lifted so that her back rested against a warm chest with almost contemptuous ease, feet struggling to touch ground.

She was shocked into abandoning her first fumbling attempt at a Hiraishin that fought his iron grip because the whisper that brushed across her ear was downright chipper.

The scent of a citrus shampoo was an almost surreal distraction, but the cold sensation of her wet hair against his neck kept Obito grounded enough to know that he had to say something before she fled, since stupid Madara had grabbed her. He didn't know what to say, though. He had never been good with girls. And Aiko was definitely a girl. Tobi helpfully bubbled up, pushing Madara to the side. "Hush, Aiko-chan!" he whispered. At least, it was what passed for a whisper from him. "I'm rescuing you."

Obito was grateful for the assistance, but struggled to take primacy once again, although he'd been weakened by his lack of calm reserve. He needed to stay focused and detached to stay in control.

His struggle was mirrored by Aiko's, though he couldn't see her face to know exactly how shocked she'd been to hear his voice.

' _You crazy fucker,'_ Aiko thought disbelievingly. Really? What the hell was he doin- no. She didn't care. Aiko ripped herself out of his arms with Hiraishin (surprisingly hard when he had such a good hold on her) and flickered just far enough away to eye him warily.

She was not optimally outfitted for an altercation. But she knew that she should probably stall until reinforcements arrive instead of letting the lunatic roam unchallenged. Leaving him to his own devices in the heart of the village would be downright treasonous, actually. Aiko wasn't a helpless little genin. There would be no excuse for cowardice.

Tobi seemed to stare dumbly at his empty hands for a moment. His orange mask seemed far creepier than it had before when he slowly tilted his head to stare at her.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up.

Aiko was just staring at him, eyes wide enough that he could see the whites around her pupils. Obito simply breathed for a moment, registering that she had used her Hiraishin against him. Against him. Like Minato had, Minato-sensei who should have just stepped aside, why had he been so stupid _, why was he_ _ **in the way**_.

"Don't do that again," he bit out, half Madara and half angry with phantoms. "Or I'll have to make sure you can't," Madara purred, pleased by the idea of getting to do this his way.

The obvious fear and trepidation in Aiko's body language made assuming full control as difficult as Madara's influence did. This was going all wrong. That was exactly what he'd wanted to avoid. He wanted to make her calm down, make her listen, why didn't anyone ever just listen?

Tobi, sweet, helpful Tobi, popped up again to counteract the promise of violence Madara offered. "I didn't mean to frighten you! But Konoha isn't safe. That's why you're going to come with me."

Perhaps a little too honest.

She looked so small and frail that it hurt his heart, even as it steeled his reserve. Her voice was surprisingly strong, however, despite the stutter. "W-what are you talking about?" Aiko was eying him warily, as if she thought he was about to grab her again.

He would have to scold Madara for that later. It had been a mistake. This would require a gentler touch. But he wasn't sure he could keep sole dominance.

Tobi was the lesser evil. He was half-and-half, part boy and part man as he straightened to his full height and looked at the teen in front of him; with eyes that overlapped the image of Tobi's friend with Obito's. Rin had never gotten much taller than the child in front of him, but he had been much closer to her size when he'd last stood at her side.

"What do I mean?" he asked, two voices in synchronism. "Konoha is too dangerous. You'll get hurt if you stay here, you now. I wouldn't be a very good friend if I let that happen." Obito dropped off at the end, silenced by shame. Tobi had never allowed one of his friends to come to harm. Granted, Tobi'd never had friends.

He had intended the words to be soothing, but they sent Aiko's heart pounding.

' _He came here for me. Not NarutoSasukeTheHokageMe.'_

The thought sent more than a chill of terror wrapping around her heart. It was preposterous: why bother sneaking into Konoha just for her? Tsunade would never trade Naruto away. But he seemed to be serious.

The pulse pounding in her throat was violent enough that it was an effort to swallow and force out words. She had to keep him talking until backup came. Somehow, her voice didn't waver too obviously when she managed, "I appreciate the concern, but I think I'm fine here."

' _Where the fuck are the patrol teams?'_

That scream-however embarrassing-should have drawn attention. Someone should be coming to investigate, even if there wasn't a patrol team close. This was a shinobi village. Where was the good Samaritan Chuunin? …No, on second thought, she didn't want one of those. They couldn't hope to fight an Akatsuki. But an ANBU patrol team would.

' _Probably why he wanted me to be quiet,'_ she belatedly realized the obvious. _'He doesn't want witnesses. But if he's planning on kidnapping me, why not knock me out? I had no idea he was here, and he must have been following… watching.'_

Even ignoring the disturbing thought that he'd been politely waiting for her to get out of the bath, Aiko felt vaguely nauseous. Would anyone have known anything was wrong if she'd been in her apartment, like she should have been? He'd found her easily enough, and gotten into Konoha apparently unchallenged judging by the lack of village alarm. How long would it have taken anyone to know she was gone?

' _That's not what I should be thinking about now,_ ' she thought grimly. _'The same damn thing could still happen.'_

Tobi-no, Madara- straightened to his full height and just looked at her for a moment. This man was far too dangerous to treat as the happy go lucky idiot she'd pretended to believe the last time they had met.

She didn't dare scream again, because this wasn't someone she wanted actively angry with her.

' _Stay calm. If he turns hostile, I can always run. No matter how fast he is, I can outrun him.'_

Of course, the point when she would determine that this situation was sufficiently dangerous as to outweigh her civil duty to not let him roam unchecked in Konoha was hard to determine. How dangerous was dangerous enough that she wouldn't be getting court-martialed for running?

As if in a pointed reminder of her current vulnerability, a strong breeze raced across her back, sending a more literal chill up her spine and making her reflexively hug one arm around her waist to be sure the tie on her robe stayed shut.

He heaved a heavy sigh and took one ponderously slow step forward, as if he was worried he might startle her into running.

' _He might not be wrong,_ ' Aiko thought a little hysterically. It was her duty to keep him occupied until backup arrived. But running was sounding very tempting. She couldn't be sure she could win this fight.

Obito watched impassively as the little foot that had been tilted behind Aiko, perhaps unconsciously, jolted backwards in one indecisive step, an attempt to put distance between them.

It was like watching a wild animal skitter away from a predator. He had no intention of harming her, but how could someone who reeked of blood explain that to a doe? Her slight form wavered in the wind, as if nature itself was reminding them of frail she was. How frail Rin had been. Aiko didn't seem to notice that she wrapped an arm around her torso to secure the thigh-length yukata that attempted to flutter away in the wind, focused as she was with wide eyes on whatever she was seeing on his mask.

' _Poor baby.'_ Gently, Obito arranged his posture to be as unthreatening as possible and moved to close the distance between them so he didn't need to raise his voice to talk to her. He actually pitched it more softly when he next spoke in an attempt to keep her calm.

He didn't want her to run, after all. They both knew that she could… but shouldn't. He had been a Konoha shinobi once too. Allowing a supposed foreigner, someone openly labeled as an enemy of the state, to roam unchallenged in the heart of the village would have her publically disgraced. No one wanted to think that their soldiers would flee and leave civilians defenseless if they were outmatched. As lily white as Konoha liked to pretend to be, they would mandate that this girl attempt to stop him. A death sentence, if he had any intention of causing harm.

Luckily, he didn't. Not today at least. Perhaps he would have to if she chose to stand in his way, but that was a dark thought for another time. "Aiko-chan, have I ever lied to you? Don't you trust me?" He let just the slightest hint of hurt waver into his voice.

She seemed uncertain, torn between cataloguing their past interactions and the current situation. He pressed forward, not wanting her to convince herself that she should flee. He needed to be firm, but not aggressive.

"Tobi misses Aiko-chan," he added gently, voice twisting up, up, and up into the childish vulnerability that wouldn't intimidate her. "Can we just talk? Tobi promises not to startle Aiko-chan again."

It was hard for him to tell if she found that tack more or less persuasive, so Obito pulled himself to the forefront in a subtler imitation of Tobi's voice in an attempt to find a middle ground. "Tobi won't hurt Aiko-chan," he breathed, taking another step in. And she didn't move back. Emboldened by his success, Obito smiled under his mask.

"What do you want to talk about?" She seemed to be biting her lower lip… Rin had always done that too. He repressed the urge to stop that, to ask her to stop savaging her own flesh.

"You, of course." He let her see his hands. If he played this correctly, he might be able to find out whether she was going to be his 'pet project', as Madara had so condescendingly phrased it, or Tobi's new companion.

"Me?" Aiko's voice was just a little too high pitched to be natural.

"Yes, you," Obito agreed amiably. Or who you might have been. "From the first time I saw you, Tobi knew Aiko-chan was a good girl," he breathed. It was a struggle to keep his voice modulated on something close to one pitch. Hopefully she wouldn't notice the cracks. She only knew Tobi, after all. "Aiko-chan was nice to Tobi."

She swallowed visibly, eyes still intent on his mask. And that was odd enough. It was almost as if she was hoping to see something under the curved surface, as if staring long enough would display some truth. "Ai- I. Um. Thank you?"

' _She doesn't care for you,'_ Madara hissed venomously, curling around the tendrils of ephemeral thought. _'Look at how she trembles. All the girl cares for is avoiding giving offense and escaping you.'_

No, Obito snapped. Then he forcibly restrained his temper. He couldn't ruin this now. Not when he was so close.

He didn't manage to assert himself before Tobi excitedly bubbled up to the surface to chirp, "Tobi had fun with Aiko-chan. Can we play another game?"

That might not be the worst idea, Obito realized. If he spent some time with her to convince her that he meant no harm, Aiko would be more willing to listen when he asked her about her reincarnation. Ideally, she would come with him today regardless of what he decided. If not, however, it was no skin off his back. He could elude the clumsy hunters Konoha had to offer even within their village. They hardly knew what to look for in the first place.

"What game?" Aiko asked cautiously. "I don't have any cards with me."

"Let's play tag!"

' _Tobi, no!'_ even as Obito cursed, Madara let out a barking laugh at the idiot.

' _You knew he had no self-restraint,_ ' he taunted in the instant that the simpleton piloting their body lurched forwards. _'You should have let me handle affairs.'_

Obito resigned himself to having to hunt Aiko down again after he managed to brow-beat Tobi to the best of his ability. His resignation was premature, however, because Tobi's attempt to smother Aiko in his affection was more effective than predicted. Tobi was immature, but not slow. The internal recriminations had passed in less than the space of a breath, and Aiko was just gaining the dreamy-eyed quality that probably meant she was intending to Hiraishin away when Tobi used the body replacement jutsu with the clone that had silently flickered behind Aiko.

Aiko didn't even see the body switch. She registered that Tobi threw his arms up- and the real Tobi, who had been standing behind her, threw his arms around her in a joyous hug.

Reflexively, Madara knocked both of the others away and pulled their body into intangibility. Holding the girl as he was, Aiko was dragged along in Kamui.

She didn't even have time to try to lurch away before the world swirled. Her vision was tinted dark, but that was hardly the largest oddity. Her gut jerked left and up and her heart was really literally sinking and the world was turning strangely and then the sensation of pressure from Tobi's hug reappeared and when had that stopped? The next thing she knew was limply hanging in his grip for just a moment, and realizing that colors were all wrong, and it certainly didn't look like she was in Konoha anymore.

and everything was _wrong_.

Taking them into kamui had been an impulse, born from the fact that avoiding damage was usually the first thing to be done when Tobi attempted or allowed human contact. But all three of them immediately registered that something had gone wrong. Numbly, Obito nearly let Aiko fall from his grip when she immediately went limp and made a small, wounded sound.

' _What did I do what's wrong how do I fix this-'_

' _Stop it!"_ Madara snapped, disgruntled about being forced down so abruptly. _'Your pet is clearly hurt by kamui.'_

' _Aww, you care_ ,' Tobi crooned, unconcerned that Aiko seemed to be hyperventilating. Obito pulled them both back into the real world, at a loss for explanation.

It was a transition that he had made hundreds of times, perhaps even thousands. Obito didn't recall having a reaction like the one Aiko had just displayed to kamui, but then again, it took him to his personal dimension. Perhaps she was having a problem because she also had a space-time technique?

Aiko wasn't doing any analysis at the moment. All she knew was that horrible twisting happened again. Aiko choked out a sob before she realized that she could see green again, and the twilight sky and Konoha's buildings in the distance and breathe fresh air.

But it wasn't right. Nothing was right. Of the hundreds of seals that had been twinkling comfortably across the continent, forming a spiderweb network of connections and a three-dimensional map, there were now six lonely voices. Old seals, and seals that were in places where she hadn't wanted people to know she could touch seals into being.

TheRaikage'sDeskGaaraMeiNaruto'sKunaiKakashiYamato

None of which was in Konoha. The closest ones were posted outside of Ame. At least, she assumed so. It was hard to tell without the greater context.

Aiko heaved helplessly, tears involuntarily welling up even as she tried to curl up. It was impossible, caught as she was in Tobi's grip and she should really move somewhere, even if her options weren't good. She was left dizzy and disoriented. A sense that she had been gradually building up for years was suddenly crippled. It was like losing her sight or sense of smell—one of the critical ways she perceived the world was just gone, and her head was reeling from loss. She pressed her eyes shut and tried to still her breathing in a desperate attempt to regain some small amount of control over the situation.

It was all she could do to hold on to the two questions ringing in her head. Namely; how had he done that? What had he done to her?

Her captor was just as confused and almost as disoriented as Aiko herself. Obito had taken others into kamui before. Granted, it had never been under friendly circumstances, and most enemies gave in to panic quickly once they realized they were trapped. But the whorl that heralded his twist into his personal dimension had never actively caused any one pain before.

Whatever was happening to Aiko, it wasn't panic at being trapped. There hadn't possibly been time for that to set in. Aghast, he somehow managed to maintain the grip Tobi had gathered around her frame and moved to soothe her over the awful gasping sounds she was making.

' _Sentimental drivel! Just take her and be done with it,"_ Madara snapped, clearly at the end of his rope. _'You should have left kamui into Ame, not here. Once more won't make a difference at this point.'_

He was probably right. How fragile was she? He hadn't even meant to hurt her and something had gone terribly wrong. How much worse would it be to leave her here? Guiltily, Obito adjusted her weight so that her shaking back curled against his chest and he could support her with one arm, freeing up his right hand to pet her hair.

"There, there." Gently, he smoothed a drying curl down over her shoulder.

Aiko forced her eyes open just in time to see that the Tobi she'd been talking to before wordlessly dissolved into a puff of smoke, swaying for just a moment. Which brought the vague reminder that she'd been able to function without a seal sense in past and other people did all the time, if she could just bring the scattered pieces of her thoughts together she could do something.

"I'm sorry," Obito breathed over her forehead. ' _Sorry I hurt you_ ,' he thought, ' _sorry I can't do this right, I couldn't keep Rin safe and I can't even do this right'_. Madara was right this time, he knew it. "It's for your own good." She would thank him later.

That sincere tone was sufficiently ominous that she struggled thoughtlessly, jerking and straining to reach the ground. But he was definitely stronger than she was, and in the better position and she couldn't think because she was blind and something she couldn't verbalize was hurting-

Obito gritted his teeth and lurched forward, barely managing to gentle her fall and let her tumble harmlessly onto the grass—and then his hands were full with a more pressing concern.

He hadn't even been paying attention to his surroundings, until the lone sentry clone was killed from behind.

Aiko was suddenly sitting with sprawled legs and a confused expression on the ground, because Tobi was darting forward to intercept the leader of what looked like the ridiculously late four man patrol team that should have been in this sector. It took a few minutes for her mind to catch up, disoriented as she was, so the fight was more flashes of movement and images than anything else. A Jackal-faced woman wielding twin swords that couldn't seem to connect with their target. Tobi dissolving in that spiral and letting a blast of fire pass through his body like he was a ghost. A familiar mask.

A familiar mask. Donkey? He was substituting for another patrol team? It happened, of course. He was probably making up hours since their team was restricted to training until they had a replacement.

She felt a rush of fondness for her irritating teammate as he flawlessly performed a body switch with a mask she couldn't identify and split into four earth clones, all of which detonated because the real man had already moved and his Jackal-faced teammate was swooping in from above—and then was tossed with pitiful ease into a tree with an unpleasant crack. She got right back up, but their fourth member had taken her place with what looked like attempts at a Jyuuken which would have been a good idea if whatever Tobi was using to fade out of physical reality was a kekkai genkai, but failed utterly when Tobi proved to be another clone.

' _I've been sitting this out long enough._ ' She was a little dizzy, but that didn't stop her from standing- reaching for a weapon that wasn't there because she didn't take a sword to the bathhouse- and turning the movement into handseals. Chakra, she still had chakra. An area attack would inconvenience her allies, so it had to be something smaller, something close-range. And she owed Tobi an ass-kicking for whatever the hell he'd done to her.

"Stay back!" Donkey's rough voice barked.

She obeyed immediately, abandoning her attempt. This wasn't her patrol; she had never worked with this team. They must have some combination planned that she'd get in the way of.

Aiko never found out what he'd intended to do, because as soon as Tobi had registered where the harsh tone had come from, he'd-

Was that Mokuton? Impossible. But it was.

Movement stilled for one very long second, and then the arm-sized tendrils of wood that had shot right through Donkey's chest receded. He looked down, or else his neck went limp, and for the space of a single heartbeat Aiko had deluded herself into thinking he was going to be fine. His armor had protected him, or the wounds weren't that bad, and he was going to call Tobi a nasty name before hitting him again because Donkey was just cantankerous like that.

But he didn't. He felt bonelessly, knees buckling and landing not quite on his side, not quite facing up.

' _That makes two teammates I've gotten killed.'_

Her horror must have been written on her face, because Tobi's glance seemed to linger on her. "I didn't mean to make you sad," came the completely inappropriate reply in his lower range, even as one of the other ANBU made a horrible shrieking sound and moved to eviscerate him. Tobi side-stepped the blow without even looking away and jumped back up into his childish voice. "Tobi is sorry. Tobi will come back when Aiko-chan has had a chance to think, when the bad ANBU won't get hurt."

And then he was just gone, in what must have been shunshin influenced speed, though she didn't see the blur of disturbed air. The three man ANBU team immediately hared after him.

The wind was quiet and gentle, the moon had almost broken the horizon. It was going to be yet another perfectly beautiful night in the land of eternal summer.

Painfully, Aiko pushed herself to cross the fifteen feet separating her from the still form sprawled out on the grass, leaking life. He was just a splotch of darkness and light. So still. Her fingers were shaking when she knelt at his side in the quickly accumulating pool of hot blood and felt for a pulse on Aoto's neck. For a moment, she was sure she felt something, but it was just the trembling of her own limbs.

A medic couldn't help him now and she didn't know how to treat the body of a comrade. An enemy could be left in the dirt, or burnt. But that wasn't the same and she didn't know what to do. When she'd murdered Boar, there hadn't been much left. She didn't know what to do. So Aiko rather ungracefully sat and untied his Aoto's ridiculous donkey faced mask before pulling his head to rest on her lap.

Then she placed the mask back over his face, because the wide-eyed terror staring up at her made her start to cry.

* * *

She sat quietly, knees up to her chest, dirty feet on the edge of the waiting room chair outside Tsunade's office, and tried not to think too hard. It didn't work very well. Tobi was… that fight had been like watching some supernatural deity toy with humans. ANBU operatives were good, and that had been a full team. It hadn't mattered, because he had just chosen to not be there when they attacked. She was completely outclassed.

And he had fixated on her for some reason. Why? What the hell did he want from her?

He had seemed to genuinely think that she would go with him. Tobi had tried to persuade her, before he'd demonstrated that he could actually keep her from running.

(and did he know she still had some seals? Were they traps for her? If not, would they fray further if he did that to her again?).

Despite his act, he wasn't a simpleton. They weren't on the same side of this conflict. Either he had some reason to believe that he should be able to trump her loyalty to Konoha and Naruto, or he was just screwing with her head.

But _why_ would he do that? What purpose could it possibly serve to try to talk her around?

She could see an explanation for wanting to take her captive. It could stop her from hounding Akatsuki. It would remove a resource from Konoha. It would provide him collateral for trading, or a possible tool to use against her teammates as a hostage.

But none of those situations required her cooperation. He'd shown that he could ensure she couldn't trust Hiraishin. Without that technique, there was no way she could even pretend to stand on even footing with Akatsuki. It wasn't her only good technique, but it was the one that made it possible for her to compete in high-level combat without taking damage. Without it… she might just be a very good Chuunin. Or Tokubetsu Jounin. She was naturally fast, but not like one of those monsters.

So why would he even care about persuading her?

It seemed to take an obscenely long time for Tsunade to be roused and the village stirred into a state of emergency lockdown. Aiko had absolutely no faith that Tobi would be caught. If he wanted to be gone, he would. He'd simply disappeared while they'd stood aghast. The ANBU team had taken up pursuit a moment later, leaving Aiko alone with a quickly cooling corpse until the next patrol had come by to see what had happened. She hadn't wanted to linger, but she could hardly leave him alone.

Poor donkey. Or Aoto, if the name he'd given them was real. He hadn't deserved to die like that.

And why had Tobi done that anyway? He had seemed to regret it, and he hadn't actually harmed anyone else. There just... it just didn't make any sense. None of it made sense. Even the way he'd talked to her had been terrifyingly inconsistent. She hadn't been able to read or predict him at all.

About four hours after the initial altercation, Tsunade finally had time to talk to her. Aiko understood why—it was more time sensitive for her to try to have the intruder caught than it was to find out what the hell he'd been doing. Judging by the tired and frustrated looks on Izumo and Kotetsu, who had been roused to run messages, he hadn't been caught.

"Uzumaki." Tsunade nodded at her when she eased the office door shut behind her. Gratefully clutching the hot coffee she'd been given, Aiko managed to murmur out something approximating a greeting. "I suppose you're here to- oh, wait." The Hokage snapped her fingers. "Were you the girl from the initial report, who was with the intruder when the first patrol team found him?"

"That'd be me," Aiko replied quietly, breathing in the steam from her drink and enjoying the heat on her face. She'd spent most of the night on an uncomfortable plastic chair in thin sandals and a drying robe, so the physical comfort was a nice change. "I don't suppose he was caught?" When Tsunade merely gave a sour look and shook her head, Aiko gave a sigh she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Depressing," she mumbled, before taking a swig of burning hot liquid.

"Kotetsu always somehow manages to make the coffee too hot and too strong," Tsunade noted at Aiko's wince. "The ineptitude of my office staff aside, I have some questions. First of all, when did you find the intruder?"

"He found me."

Judging by the surprise on Tsunade's face, she hadn't been expecting that at all.

"At 2300 or so, I was heading home from the onsen," Aiko explained monotonously, head still pounding. "I cut through the park. He must have been following me, or waiting for me. Tobi confronted-"

"Tobi?" Tsunade cut in, leaning over her desk. "You're familiar with this individual?"

Aiko nodded, digging her toe into the carpet. "Yes," she admitted. "Don't you remember- he was one of the Akatsuki I interacted with when they had me at their base."

The Hokage scowled. "Refresh my memory."

Her tone didn't leave any slack, so Aiko recounted the basics. He'd been bizarrely friendly, he was the one she'd mentioned as having a similarity to Itachi- and at that point comprehension dawned, and Tsunade waved her on.

"I didn't make the connection," Tsunade sighed, kicking her feet out. "I must have been tireder than I thought. Please continue with the night's altercation."

"It wasn't much of an altercation," Aiko began a bit doubtfully. "Actually, it was surreal. He tried to convince me to leave with him."

At that, Tsunade jerked upright and stared, wide-eyed. "He tried to recruit you?"

"I don't think so." She waved her hands palm out weakly, as if to push that notion away on the breeze. "I got the impression that this was a personal visit, and not Akatsuki business." Aiko frowned, debating the next part, but admitted, "He made it sound like he thought we were friends and he was doing me a favor. He went on about it being too dangerous for me to be in Konoha, and that you were going to get me killed. Or someone was, anyway, he wasn't too clear on that part." She gave a helpless little shrug, and took another sip of scalding coffee, just to have something to do with her hands.

Tsunade groaned. "This only raises further questions."

"Tell me about it," Aiko fidgeted, biting her lip and accidentally drawing blood. "In any case, he didn't seem to want to hurt me. Though he did manhandle me a couple of times."

"Is that the source of the scream that raised the alarm?"

Aiko flushed an ugly red. "Ah…" She swallowed her pride and admitted, "I may have shrieked when he surprised me."

She ignored the snort that garnered and valiantly soldiered on in what little she had to report that the ANBU team wouldn't necessarily have been able to provide. "It was almost as if he kept changing his mind about his objective. He didn't want to kidnap me—he wanted me to come with him willingly. But when I didn't immediately agree, he got aggressive and tried to demonstrate that he could make me come. Maybe he wanted to illustrate that he was showing restraint, or maybe he just changed his mind?"

Either way, it had been an impulsive move. If he had honestly anticipated that he would be leaving with her that night, it wouldn't have mattered. He did seem to be delusional, and might have thought he really was going to convince her. Of course, he could also have determined that he would forcibly take her and the ANBU's intervention was merely a lucky break on her part.

Tsunade looked troubled. "Obviously, this situation is concerning. We now know that this person has no trouble evading patrols, even when we're looking for him. We did discover a shocking amount of bees," and here she rolled her eyes in a way that implied there was a story here, "but no Akatsuki. He lost his ANBU tail by the Hokage mountain, of all the damned places. Unless he's still lurking about, he got out past our patrols without complications."

"That means he could do it again," Aiko finished quietly. "And will. He promised me he would come back when the ANBU wouldn't interfere."

"Clearly, he's fixated on you," Tsunade muttered. "Are you sure you have no idea why?"

Aiko shook her head and showed her palms to deny culpability. "I think he's nuts," she said helplessly. "He really seemed to think that we were friends. He claimed it was too dangerous for me to be in Konoha and implied I should be staying with him."

Tsunade looked baffled. "I've never even heard of anything like this. Tell me again about your specific interactions with him in the Akatsuki base?"

She sucked in a breath through her teeth and released it slowly, trying to remember exactly what had happened. "I went wandering down a hallway after Itachi-teme shoved me in a shower to clean my wounds and then wandered off. He didn't give me any clothes, so when I found Tobi in the kitchen, he offered to get me some of Deidara's old things. We were only alone for ten minutes or so, but he played nice the entire time. Literally- he wanted me to play children's games with him. He gave me a bad feeling, so I smiled and played along. Itachi found us, and Tobi left." Reluctantly, she added, "He did make Itachi promise that he could see me again."

"So he'd probably already fixated on you then," Tsunade concluded grimly. "Which means he's been planning on this for quite a while."

"And it's not just a passing whim." Aiko felt like she was going to be sick, and hurriedly took another sip of coffee to settle her stomach. What had she done? She didn't really know anything about him for certain, but she did know she didn't want his attention. Was the childish act real? She almost hoped so. Because the idea of some genuine lunatic who had latched on to her after she was kind to him was incrementally less terrifying than that someone cold and logical had decided they had a need for her. If Tobi really was attached, at least he wouldn't hurt her as long as he was convinced they were friends. If Tobi needed her for some plan, then she would only be safe until whatever use she had expired.

' _Not that I want him interested in me at all,'_ she thought, feeling very small. She was in over her head and not too proud to admit it. _'Now would be an excellent time to have a conversation about sealing with Jiraiya_.' He might be able to help her figure out what had happened and make sure it never happened again.

* * *

"Well, there were probably better ways to handle that," Tobi mused, hand to his chin as he slouched at the kitchen table in the Akatsuki base back in Ame. Kisame, who had been retrieving leftovers from the cold box, gave him a skeptical look. Wisely, he said nothing. That was fine, because Tobi hadn't been talking to him anyway.

' _I'll say_ ,' Obito pouted.

There had been no obvious turning point, except that Madara had been far too pushy. But Aiko-chan hadn't been terribly persuaded. He wasn't sure why. He'd even politely waited for the best time to approach her. It would have been too intimidating to approach her in her home or while she was in the onsen. The park had seemed like a nice compromise. So what had gone wrong?

' _She did not find you appealing because this whole idea is flawed_ ,' Madara grumbled. ' _The girl is never going to come with you. We should have just taken her and explained later, if you absolutely must indulge this obsession.'_

He had little patience for what he claimed was a pointless exercise, Obito knew. That didn't excuse his lack of effort.

' _That would be wrong,_ ' Obito argued for what had to be the tenth time. ' _She'll come. I just have to make her understand. She'd be scared if I just took her.'_

She was scared anyways, Tobi noted mulishly. It was for her own good, and she would be happy playing with him. She shouldn't have tried to get away from him. Obviously she wasn't cut out to be a ninja. He'd barely touched her and she'd collapsed. He was doing her a favor.

He hadn't liked that much. Aiko-chan was supposed to be his friend, and she should trust him. If mean old Madara hadn't grabbed her those times, she would have listened to what he had to say and come with him.

' _She was screaming,'_ Madara sighed, obviously irritated. _'She had to be silenced. It was your plan that required speaking to her alone, wasn't it? As it was, we had little enough time to convince her. I fail to see how any of this was my fault. I was not the fool who killed that boy.'_

Obito bristled defensively, while Tobi slid to the front and started babbling about making ice cream and whether or not Kisame-senpai would help because he seemed like a man who liked ice cream. _'He was yelling at her_ ,' he hissed.

Madara would have rolled his eyes if he could. The girl hadn't seemed to mind that much.

That was worse, Obito argued. That meant she was used to being yelled at. Mean old Bakashi hadn't gotten any better at communication, had he?

* * *

Sasuke jolted awake. The sudden movement sent Karin, who had been standing watch, onto high alert.

"Sasuke? What's wrong?"

Her inquisitive tone actually helped bring him back to the real world enough to recognize the sensation tugging for his attention. "I think Katsuya-sama is trying to contact me," he mumbled, voice still rough with sleep. That was unusual enough that he didn't waste before time biting his thumb for the blood to call a smaller incarnation of the slug queen. She was much too important to be asked to perform something so mundane as passing messages except when it was absolutely necessary, so this must be time-sensitive.

"Sasuke-kun," she greeted in that obnoxiously high voice. He tried not to wince. It would be rude.

"You called, Katsuya-sama?"

Karin seemed to choke a little at his unusually respectful tone.

"Yes, Tsunade-chan wanted me to give you a message." One of her eye stalks wandered lazily in the opposite direction as if looking for something. "And to be sure that everything here is alright, of course. Has anything unusual happened?"

"No." He shook his head. By now, the rest of the camp was up, so they had an audience of two other Konoha teams and one from Mist.

Katsuya made a bizarre sound that somehow conveyed disappointment, even as Naruto yawned and scratching at his messy hair. "At least one Akatsuki member slipped out of Ame since you began working to hold the border." She continued over the malcontent murmurs that statement roused—they'd been paying close attention. With Karin there, no one should have been able to get by without their notice. The girl herself looked a bit queasy at that that. "More likely two members, since they travel in pairs."

"Has something happened, Katsuya-sama?" Kakashi butted in. Sasuke tried not to roll his eyes. Even when trying to be polite, Kakashi was rude.

She gave a trill that Sasuke knew meant 'yes'. "One was in Konoha tonight," the slug reluctantly shared, probably not thrilled by airing Konoha's dirty laundry with a foreign audience. Jiraiya, the last roused from sleep, idly scratched at his side while giving their closest foreign companions a completely banal look. It certainly wasn't a glare or a conventional warning, but the three Mist-nin rather hurriedly sauntered off closer to their countrymen in the next camp over.

Katsuya kept her tone confidential on the next part. "To be honest, Tsunade-chan didn't understand what he intended. Apparently, he tried to convince a girl to go with him."

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"Akatsuki went to Konoha to pick up chicks?" Karin finally bit out skeptically. "That seems a bit far-fetched."

Katsuya ripped in agreement. "I agree that there was probably some other purpose to his visit. Whatever he wanted from Aiko-chan, it went badly. He killed one of the ANBU who attempted to interfere, and Aiko-chan herself was very upset. He seems to have left, however."

"Was he cute?" Genma piped up inappropriately above the sound of Sasuke smacking a palm to his forehead and Naruto outright groaning that _of course_ it was Aiko caught up in that mess. "If it was Hoshigaki, I could understand that reaction."

To be fair, Hoshigaki Kisame had a face only a mother could love, if sharks didn't eat their mothers. Still, Yamato took a moment to glare at him for the joke.

"She said he was Tobi," Katsuya shared dubiously. Her little eye stalks were wavering much more rapidly now. "Former affiliation unknown."

That was not a name anyone knew, which meant that his motivations were a complete mystery.

Sasuke was already considering the unpleasant implications of what little they knew. Akatsuki hadn't gone to Konoha on a whim or for just any hostage in general. If their errand had been about Naruto… Well, he was on the border, right outsider their country. Team seven had almost been hoping that Akatsuki would make an attempt. Obviously, going to bother Aiko hadn't been about Naruto. Katsuya said that this man had left Konoha, but that seemed unlikely. If he hadn't gotten what he wanted, why would he have gone so far away? No. He would be making another attempt. And anyone who would be ready and able to provide assistance against Akatsuki for Aiko was here.

A glance around the area displayed that Karin and Yamato, at least, had similar thoughts. He couldn't read Jiraiya or Kakashi, and Naruto was looking away.

No one else seemed to be about to say anything, so Sasuke gave a brief bow to his shishou's summons. "Thank you for your visit, Katsuya-sama. We will be on watch for this Tobi when he returns. Do you have any information on what he looks like, and what he can do?"

She seemed relieved. "Yes, actually. He was very strong. It sounds unbelievable, but Tsunade-chan seemed to believe the report that he used mokuton. More ominously, he also possessed some sort of ability to become intangible and avoid getting hit. Aiko-chan didn't have a theory as to how he did it, but she described the phenomenon as a sort of spiral." The slug seemed to give a shrug that rippled down her body. "As for a physical description, that's harder. He was wearing the Akatsuki uniform and an orange mask that covered all of his face but one eye. Aiko-chan said he was definitely a grown man, considerably taller than she was, but I'm afraid she didn't have anything more precise than that."

Yamato looked somewhere between shocked and uncomfortable even as the others glanced at him. "Another one of Orochimaru's experiments?" he asked quietly.

"I'm afraid I don't know," the slug apologized.

"I assume Aiko is alright, then?" Jiraiya cut in, looking tired and disappointed. Probably in himself, because his information networks had never hinted as to whoever this Akatsuki really was, and there must be a reason he hid his face.

Katsuya trilled unhappily. "I didn't understand what was going on," she confessed. "I didn't think any of the blood was hers, but she was very upset."

No one had ever accused slugs of being particularly tactful. Even Naruto wouldn't have phrased a report that way. The group as a whole paused to digest that rather unsettling summation, but no one pressed for answers the slug clearly didn't have.

"What's going to happen?" Sasuke cut in, more practical, though his eyes were hard as well. "Are we being called home, or are we just supposed to be aware?"

"Tsunade-chan just wants you to be careful," Katsuya advised. "And Jiraiya-kun, Tsunade-chan wants you to return home immediately."

He nodded, face serious. The old man glanced around the group, as if wondering if anyone else would ask… "Is it urgent enough for me to ask the toads for a reverse summoning?"

"I think so," Katsuya burbled.

' _Then why didn't Tsunade just send Aiko to Hiraishin him there?'_

Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek and said nothing. They needed to break this stalemate with Akatsuki somehow. They'd been forbidden to venture into Ame for fear of massive losses, and Akatsuki couldn't launch an attack against more than one target, which would leave them vulnerable to attack at their base in Amegakure. While Akatsuki was supposedly contained in Ame, the situation had at least been stable. But if at least one of them, possibly two had been able to get past Karin's senses…

His eyes met with Naruto's in the flicker of dying campfire light, and he knew his long time teammate was thinking the same thing he was. It was time to do something stupid.


	97. Dimensions

The light of day didn't make Konoha feel much safer, even as the streets began to teem with early risers. Aiko hurried home, avoiding stares as best as she could, and found her apartment provided little sense of relief. Normally, after a night spent crusted in someone else's blood, she would have scrubbed her flesh clean for at least half an hour. This time, she felt distinctly uneasy standing naked in her own shower… which definitely **did** have hot water.

Did that mean Tobi had arranged that encounter from the start? He'd engineered events so that he could corner her weaponless and alone after she'd gone ba- had he _watched_ her bathe?

Aiko shivered, feeling distinctly ill, and turned the water off before she'd even gotten all the shampoo out of her hair.

She didn't stay in her apartment longer than it took to pull on a sweater and secure a thigh holster over her standard issue pants.

It had been foolish to be comfortable enough in her home village to go without weapons… though, they wouldn't have done her any good in that encounter, so that wasn't what she was really upset about. Aiko chewed on her lower lip and just walked up and down the busiest streets as she tried to get her thoughts in order.

It didn't take a genius to recognize that she was feeling vulnerable. And that she had a good reason for that feeling, unfortunately. Tobi had played her for a fool. He had watched her for kami knows how long without her noticing. He had batted her around like she had absolutely no chance against him, and then he'd gone and proved that he could back that check up by… by…

She had no idea what he'd done, actually.

' _But I know I didn't like it.'_

Aiko wrapped her arms around her waist and gave a distracted smile to a woman who offered her a sample of some sort of fresh smelling bread without actually remembering to demur.

' _I probably should have told Tsunade that he'd done something to my Hiraishin,'_ Aiko thought guiltily. But what would she have even said? She didn't understand what had happened herself. It had almost seemed like he had taken her to another dimensional space or something. It hadn't been anything like her experience with inter-dimensional interaction, but she surely hadn't been in Konoha.

If that was what he had done, how long had she been there? Her own perception had been confused, to say the least.

' _That's a stupid question.'_ Aiko belatedly realized that she'd left the apartment in her house slippers. She took a moment to frown down at them, but at least they were just plain sandals. _'I should be more concerned with how he did that. Was it necessary to touch me? It'd be nice to know I could prevent that from ever happening again by not letting him touch me. If I knew what he was using that allowed him to travel that way, I might be able to form a hypothesis. The obvious answer is that since this is Tobi, it was somehow related to his Sharingan.'_

That conclusion made more sense than assuming he had other kekkai genkai, right? She'd never even heard of a learned technique that would do anything like what he had played with, so it must be rare for a reason. A bloodline was generally the best explanation for abilities that were supposedly impossible or implausible.

Of course, to the best of her knowledge, the Sharingan did nothing so fanciful. But it made more sense to think of what she knew rather than to speculate that he must possess another kekkai genkai. However spectacular it seemed, sometimes the simplest explanation was best.

Granted, there was no rule saying that whatever he had done could only be attributed to a bloodline ability. But because it had been nothing like her experience with…

Well, that was stupid, Aiko realized with a sigh. There was no logical cause to assume that all fuinjutsu-based space time interaction was similar. Still, she had no reason to believe Tobi had any experience with sealing, so she was going to hold onto the Sharingan as her best clue.

And if Madara was wearing Obito's body, his Sharingan should be the same as the one that Kakashi had. That presented some intriguing possibilities for investigation and testing, if he would indulge her curiosity. If he already knew what she was talking about, that would be a good sign…

' _Well, I can hardly up and ask him directly, can I?'_ She could have hit herself, if that wouldn't be redundant with her already bad mood. ' _I'm not supposed to know that Tobi is really Obito's body, or even where Kakashi got his eye. It would be more than a bit suspicious. Maybe I could pretend I saw some marvelous similarity that made me think Tobi was really an Uchiha, but that's a large stretch.'_

No matter. There had to be some way to direct a conversation to such a point. If Kakashi were feeling indulgent at all, he would volunteer the information. Especially if he knew what a ninny she was being.

Almost instantly, Aiko felt even worse. She wasn't supposed to be scared of anything. The idea of sharing her weakness was intolerable, and the prospect of using it as collateral to weasel help out of someone she respected was even worse.

She'd still do it, of course. Her pride was less important than her life.

' _That's a good long-term plan, but it doesn't do me any good while he's out of the village.'_ Distractedly, Aiko ducked out of the path of some enthusiastic genin doing a morning run. _'It can't be a coincidence that all my new seals are gone, and the old ones are left.'_

The thought didn't seem quite right. After a moment, she realized why. The seal in Kumo was one of her newest ones. What that had in common with the ones that Kakashi and Yamato carried was that it had been painted with sealing ink and her blood.

The vast majority of her seals had been made solely with a little bit of chakra and affixed to whatever she touched. Did… did that make them less stable than the more labor intensive kind?

When realization struck, Aiko nearly stopped in the middle of the street. Minato's notebooks had implied that the connection Hiraishin seals maintained through a constant feed off their user meant that they wouldn't be available for anyone else to use after the user died. She had thought that meant they would all be destroyed—that the seals themselves would unravel. But maybe, just maybe, a seal that had been well made enough would merely deactivate, in a way, since it wasn't feeding off its user's chakra.

In practice, it was the same thing, since a deactivated seal was nearly untraceable and the dead didn't come back to life to use their seals again. But in the odd circumstance that the chakra source that had left could be returned, it certainly made a difference. It was the difference between disconnecting a tv and dropping it off the balcony when you were done with it. The tv that had been disconnected would fizzle with static and search out the old connection once it was turned back on. The one dropped off the balcony was just gone. While the first device was off, it wasn't really present in a more significant way than the ruined device, but there was still the potential for re-use.

A seal wasn't an electrical device, of course, and disconnecting from her seal meant that the connection to the seal had been turned off from her end, not on the seal. She had obviously left Konoha for another plane of existence, but if it had been hers, she would have been able to feel her seals from there. Coming back had been uncomfortable and weakening, but the real shocking pain of loss had occurred in those moments when she was totally cut off.

Tobi had taken her to a dimension that wasn't hers.

' _I think Tobi just disproved the theory that there's only one inter-dimensional space,_ ' Aiko thought numbly.

If the space Tobi had taken her to had been the same one she used as a midpoint between herself and seals, then nothing should have happened to her seals. The space-time fold was what allowed her to step to seals miles away—the space she slipped into was equidistant to any of her seals. But her seals had either failed completely or temporarily deactivated while she was in Tobi's personal dimension, just as they would if she had been dead.

It was the first bit of good news she'd had all day. She wasn't completely crippled. If she improved her regular seals, she could retain those even if Tobi dragged her through a private dimension again. Granted, she wouldn't be able to escape from his dimension, but for all she knew he hadn't spent any more time there than she spent in hers. Maybe he couldn't just leave her there. She could only hope, and make sure that she didn't let him know exactly what had happened, if he didn't know already.

' _Of course, I probably shouldn't count on improving my ephemeral seals to counter Tobi. For now, I'll count on the ones that I know work.'_

Which meant she needed to make more seals and distribute them as soon as possible to restore something of her continental map.

That was easier said than done, when Tsunade didn't plan to send her out on missions any time soon, as far as she knew. Tsunade had pointed out that there was a very good possibility that if Tobi really had approached her on his own initiative instead of for Akatsuki, he might have been trying to do her a favor in his own twisted way. Aiko hadn't appreciated that theory much, especially since it implied that he had been jarred into action because of her last mission. If Tsunade was right, her retrieval of Utakata might have been the last straw that made Akatsuki want her out of the way. That would most generally be interpreted as 'dead', of course, but Tobi seemed to have come to another conclusion.

' _Making Tobi my hero,_ ' Aiko thought with more than a hint of bitter irony. That idea wasn't really much more comforting than that he'd been acting on Akatsuki's initiative. Either way, he had proved he could get at her. Did it really matter if it was for Akatsuki's benefit or his own, if the end result was the same? He'd have to get either violent or creative if he really intended to keep her from snatching back any jinchuuriki Akatsuki got their paws on.

And Tsunade's theory also meant that he might be provoked into trying again if she interfered in their attempts to collect jinchuuriki again. That made keeping her in the village an obvious way to mitigate the possibility that he would bother her again.

Aiko didn't put much stock into that idea. He had promised he would be back. Unless something changed, she hadn't seen the last of him. For all she knew he hadn't left Konoha.

She veered into the next open shop door she passed, and spent an inordinate amount of time staring blankly at the wares before she realized she had ducked into an equipment supplier.

' _No one ever had too many kunai. Since I'm here, I may as well stock up.'_

Besides, the proprietor was beginning to look irritated by her browsing.

It might not be a bad idea to start taking a page out of Minato's book by passing out kunai with her seal painted on them to comrades. He had used them cooperatively by having his subordinates throw dozens and hundreds of them at once and fluttering between them before they could hit the ground. That wasn't exactly her style, but it wouldn't hurt as an addition to her arsenal.

That led to another idea—even if she wasn't particularly invested in having her seals used as weapons that way, there was still merit to asking her comrades for help distributing them. She couldn't leave the village? Fine. Others were. She was sure that if she asked, at least some of the people she knew would be willing to drop a rock with Hiraishin painted on it in whatever country they traveled to for their missions. At this point, it was more important to have a map again than it was to protect against others getting her seals. She could always blow the damn things up in a pinch, if someone put their grubby little paws on something that didn't belong to them.

Didn't have to be rocks, of course. But it would be less conspicuous than kunai, and no one would know to look for them. Actually… maybe Minato had been onto something by using distinctive kunai for his Hiraishin? They weren't just blades: they were a method of making his handiwork instantly recognizable and sowing fear. Intimidation could win half the battle.

She didn't want to use the three-pronged blades that Minato had made famous. That would be too obvious, even as an attempt to coast off his fearsome reputation. Changing the shape of the blade would negatively impact her ability to wield it. So what else could she do to make her kunai completely distinctive?

"Ah, shop-keep-san?" Aiko ducked into a quick bow and then indicated the rather standard kunai she had been looking at. "What would it cost to have the handles lacquered on some of these?"

He seemed to think she was joking. After a few minutes of assuring him, he seemed to change to hoping that she was joking, but he took her bank information gamely and made one last attempt to persuade her into making his job easier by picking a color that he would have readily in stock.

She turned him down, but paid him extra to rush on getting the paint from his supplier. Yes, she was absolutely certain that she wanted orange.

No one in their right mind other than Naruto would think to get such a thing without a good cause. If she wanted distinctive weaponry, she was going to have to go off the beaten track for sensible equipment in good taste.

It took near superhuman effort to force herself to go pick Fukiko up from the Academy and take her out to practice. If Tobi was still hanging around, he might recognize her as an Uchiha. That risk made her want to stay as far away as possible from her student. But on the other hand, for all she knew he was half a country away by now. She couldn't let fear keep her from doing her job without something more solid to go on other than that she was scared.

' _Besides, if I don't work with her, she'll never get strong enough to take care of herself.'_ Aiko somehow gritted her jaw and kept a smile plastered on her face. There was no point in letting Fukiko know something was wrong. She'd be a pretty poor Jounin if she couldn't hide her nervousness from a pre-genin.

"Aiko."

Fukiko stopped the clumsy sequence of hand signs she had been demonstrating to blink up at the man standing beside her teacher. Aiko merely raised an eyebrow and turned her head slightly. That was enough to send the girl flushing.

Only once Fukiko had gone back to pretending to be so absorbed in her practice that she didn't notice the adults talking, did Aiko turn to acknowledge Sai.

"Long time no see."

Almost twenty-four hours, which wasn't really that long. But seeing him wasn't everything. It had been so long since they'd really talked that she strangely felt distanced.

"Not really." His eyes slid away from hers almost dismissively, and he gave Fukiko a curious look. "I saw you last night."

Aiko twitched. "Ah," she replied rather unhelpfully.

It didn't take a genius to realize that he meant he'd been assigned to Tsunade's personal guard last night and had been creeping about while she had debriefed, or seen her in passing under the anonymity of an ANBU mask. Without the seal she'd planted on his back or his sword, she might not know Sai was about unless she was paying close attention. It was amazing just how reliant she had been on her seal sense, and she hadn't even realized until most of them were gone.

Either way, she probably hadn't been at her best when he'd seen her.

"May we talk?"

' _Am I going to get scolded again for not caring enough about ROOT?'_ she thought but didn't say. Rather ungracefully, she nodded. "Alright. Fukiko-chan, pack up. We're going to walk you home." As the brunette hurriedly slipped on a backpack and fell in line, Aiko blandly narrated. "The gentleman escorting us is one of my teammates, Sai."

_'And why did I say teammate instead of boyfriend? He **is** my boyfriend, right? I mean, we've never used those terms. What does that mean? Is that part of what's so weird with us? We never set any boundaries?'_

Fukiko's "It's very nice to meet you, Sai-san," was almost inaudible, in part because she was looking at the ground when she said it.

Still, Sai replied gamely enough. But he seemed to consider that enough contribution to friendly conversation. Aiko ignored him and instead prodded the pre-genin into conversation by asking her about her academic classes until she had turned the child over to her aunt.

"So…" she began awkwardly, flexing the foot she wasn't putting her weight on and clasping her hands behind her back. "What did you want to talk about?"

He considered her for a second, and then began walking. After a moment, she jolted into movement behind him and caught up to walk at his side. "Is there cause for concern?"

It took a moment to parse that. "You mean, about what happened last night?" Her stomach roiled, and she thoughtlessly put a hand over it. At the dark-eyed glance the movement garnered, she purposefully didn't pull her hand back. That would look as if she was unable to control herself emotionally, even more so than the display of weakness in the first place. "Probably," Aiko admitted honestly. "He made a point of saying that he would be back."

"Is there nothing you can do?" Sai's lips pressed down ever so slightly, and he crossed the road to get away from the crowds.

"Not that I can think of." Aiko suppressed a sigh. "Can't hide or run. I'll just have to see what happens and be as prepared as possible." She lowered her voice, and grumped, "I can't keep ROOT out of my fucking apartment, so I hardly expect I can keep Akatsuki out."

And wasn't that galling?

Granted, after a point, traps and seals could only go so far to assure security. If they were infallible, no one would use shinobi guards. The problem was of course that the types of people who could threaten her (and therefore she wanted to be safe from) were the ones who were experienced and clever enough that her home security wasn't an insurmountable obstacle.

"Would you like me to stay with you?"

She had to stop for a moment and attempt to gauge his seriousness. It was a hell of an offer. On one hand, it might work to keep Tobi away. He had indicated that he wanted to come back when she was alone by saying he didn't want to have any more ANBU interfere. But would that really work long-term? If he saw that she wasn't going to be alone, his options would be to give up or to make himself known anyways.

Aiko might have taken his offer in an instant if she really thought it would put Tobi off. But why would it? If she gambled on that and was wrong… well, it wouldn't be that hard for a man who could spy on them unseen to forcibly ensure she was alone. She didn't want Sai to get hurt for such a stupid reason.

What good would it really do to hide behind Sai like a scared child? He couldn't keep her safe from Madara. Even the two of them together weren't a sure thing against an opponent of that caliber, especially when the encounter would be pre-determined by their opponent's whim. If they were the one attacking from shadows, it would be different. But the whole set up was that Tobi was lurking whenever and wherever he pleased…

No, it would be a significant risk to Sai with very little possibility of doing anything other than making her feel safer.

The offer did lift her mood, though. Aiko gave him a real smile, and moved to bump her shoulder against his arm. "I'll have to turn you down. But thank you, Sai." She laced her fingers behind her head and looked up, spotting a cloud that looked like a rabbit. Granted, most clouds looked like rabbits to her.

"Are you sure there is nothing that can be done?" He gave her a disapproving frown. "If you will not let me stay with you, there must be some way to ensure your safety, or at least to be sure someone will know if something is wrong within a reasonable time period."

That... was a good point, actually. One of her first fears when she'd seen Tobi in that park had been that he would whisk her away and that no one would know what had happened to her.

"I'll meet you for tea everyday or tell you why I can't?" Aiko suggested warmly.

The faint hint of approval in his eyes was enough to tell her she hadn't been too presumptuous with his time.

"Thank you," she said quietly, leaning over to wrap her arm around his torso and pressed a closed kiss against his neck. "You're the smart one, I suppose. What would I do without you?"

Sai gave her the oddest look. "I suspect you would be fine," he said after a moment. His right arm gave her the briefest of squeezes before he withdrew. "If you will excuse me, I need to report."

"Have a good night!" she called, holding an arm up to protect her eyes from the leaves his departure stirred.

_'Huh. Was I imagining things there, or was he a little distant?'_ Aiko caught a single pine-green leaf between her thumb and forefinger and idly examined the way light moved across the waxy surface. _'I must have been imagining things,' she decided. 'He would tell me if something was wrong, right?'_

Almost immediately, she felt a flutter of unease. He probably wouldn't. It wasn't like she talked to him about her problems. Not that her problems were that important, she rejected. She was overreacting. It was irrational to see Shou's face when she closed her eyes at night. She was just having a hard time forgetting the way it had been the moment trust turned to horror. That would fade. It had to. It was just a phase. And Aoto wouldn't have blamed her, would he? It wasn't her fault. It wasn't. ANBU died in the line of duty all the time. She probably would too. She only hoped that when that happened, she might be doing some good.

She managed to forget that bleak line of thought when she went home to find a vase sitting outside her apartment. She had no idea what the flowers were or what they meant, but since there was one red flower and one white flower, it was probably something simple and profound.

Pity that it was almost certainly from Tobi. Tremblingly, she picked the small piece of paper out from under the vase and read the single kanji on it. It was an apology. Aiko almost ripped it in half as a reflexive rejection of the sentiment, but stopped herself long enough to scoop the crumpled piece of paper sitting at the bottom of her kitchen garbage and compare the two.

' _I'm almost certain these were written by the same person.'_

She stared glumly at the apology and the note she had thought was from a landlord, as if hoping that the broad, slightly tilted handwriting would change on one of them. What were the odds that her landlord had sent her flowers?

Not good, she surmised. A little vindictively, she fed the flowers to her garbage disposal.

' _He's still in Konoha.'_ Aiko sat the vase on her kitchen table, sat down, and buried her face in her palms. _'He didn't leave. For all I know he's watching me right now. Hope he wasn't too attached to those plants.'_

She half-wished that she'd asked Sai to walk her home, but that would help nothing but her nerves. Still, she couldn't help but feel that there had to be some way to benefit from assistance in this. There was almost no one that she would trust to help keep her safe from Tobi, but wouldn't she be much better off if he could at least be stopped from surprising her?

That led to two different trails of thought. She happened to be acquainted with a lovely, fluffy canine with a nose twice as good at Kakashi's, who might be able to verify whether or not anyone was lurking about. The other idea that occurred was that it would be greatly helpful to have some sort of intelligence about whatever it was that Tobi had done to her.

' _And I know several individuals who wouldn't ask me questions if I brought strange inquiries to them,'_ Aiko mused. She agreed with Sai that it would be wrong to put ROOT through more hell than they had already been through, but would a research project really strain those boundaries? She did have that convenient list of identities that Tsunade had squirreled out of Danzo's home… Aiko was under too much scrutiny to be caught snooping old records about the Uchiha (her most likely bet as to the source of Tobi's strange kickassery), not least because if Tobi saw, he might react violently to the hint that she knew more than she should. But a third party could accomplish that with no difficulties.

For the first time, she was the creepy bastard showing up at someone else's apartment after twilight. In her defense, Akahiso Yarou happened to live in her apartment complex. Aiko had the sinking suspicion that she knew how at least one of her ROOT compatriots had been so familiar with her home security, and the familiarity of his body build only furthered that assumption. While Mitsuo waited boredly in the entry way, she took the liberty of actually painting a Hiraishin seal on his arm.

Well, it felt like a liberty, even though she asked for permission. Aiko didn't get the feeling that the hollow-cheeked brunet had considered he could tell her no. But adding to her vastly depleted sealing network was too important to pass up, especially since she might want to be able to track him down later to see what he had found. He seemed a bit scandalized that she gave him names of a few other ROOT members and orders to figure out how to contact them, but didn't protest. ANBU level shinobi were more likely to be able to leave the country at the moment and really spread her seals. She could return the next day and hand over however many she managed to get painted during the day for him to pass on.

Mitsuo ponderously rose to his feet to follow, tail wagging ever so slightly as she passed out of Akahiso's doorway and trotted down the stairs to her own apartment. At least he hadn't smelled anyone lurking about. That might have just sent her into a fit of paranoia about whether or not Tobi was capable of hiding from Mitsuo's senses, except he'd picked out a stale scent on Tobi's notes that he identified as 'faintly cat-ish'.

Made sense. Is Uchiha.

So she was grateful for that confirmation of her memories, even if they did spell out bad news. The fact that Mitsuo wasn't familiar with Obito's original scent limited her ability to use Mitsuo's comment as evidence on its own, however. Whatever the hell Madara had done to that body had probably changed his scent, even if puberty and two decades away from the Uchiha complex hadn't.

Aiko was flagging at that point—she hadn't slept yesterday and the last streaks of sunlight were fading away. Having Mitsuo there (and then Hōseki, after a moment's contemplation) made her feel a bit better, but her sleep was still uneasy and frequently interrupted.

"This isn't going to work," she mumbled the third time she woke up sweating, staring irritably at her ceiling. It was a stupid ceiling. She had never noticed before, but she hated that ceiling.

Neither dog followed when she trailed out to her kitchen. Hōseki did trot in by the time the smell of bacon became evident. Aiko tossed a strip to the little dog—and then flushed at the glare she received for treating her friend like an animal.

"Sorry," she apologized sheepishly, before setting out two plates for the dogs and carting the rest off for herself on top of her scrambled eggs. Aiko couldn't help but notice that Hōseki hadn't been too proud to eat the meat off the floor, however.

She didn't want to stay at her apartment. At least not at night, while she was so vulnerable. But going to anyone else's home would unnecessarily endanger them, and anyways she didn't like to impose.

Aiko heaved a rather theatrical sigh that puffed her chest out to ridiculous proportions before sulkily pushing half of her food away uneaten. Mitsuo immediately stuck his face in her bowl and started making snarfling sounds. "This is going to be stupidly expensive," she moaned, cupping his cheeks and dragging his face up to make eye contact. A bit of egg dropped from Mitsuo's mildly surprised mug and plopped to the floor, and he blinked big sad brown eyes up at her. Hōseki clacked over to snap up the lost food.

"What's expensive?" she asked after she swallowed, not sounding as if she was particularly interested. She hadn't liked anything Aiko spent money on, except for fancy shampoos. Pakkun had probably corrupted her, or else she was in a competition to see who could get more spoiled by their respective partners.

"Renting a second apartment under a fake name," Aiko said blankly, already tabulating exactly what strain that would put on her finances. Sure, she had stupid amounts of money sitting around from her books, but she hated to dig into that. On the other hand that account was already under a fake name, and she couldn't put a price on her peace of mind.

The two dogs exchanged a look, and then Mitsuo seemed to shrug. He immediately went back to lapping up breakfast. Hōseki seemed to roll her eyes, backing up so that her little rear was in the air and laying her chin on her paws. "You have strange problems, boss."

She didn't bother arguing with the dog. Aiko mostly agreed, but didn't say anything. Instead, she killed time until sunrise by painting seals, on her apartment and on odds and ends like kunai.

' _Do I owe Kakashi a thank-you for teaching me Kage bunshin?'_ Aiko wondered idly as a clone left with the two dogs to meet Ino for a pre-arranged spar.

Water clones were about as sturdy as the shadow clones, but they couldn't be stuffed into her actual clothes nearly as easily so that they would leave her real scent. Nor could they be maintained after she stopped consciously paying attention to them. Kage bunshin, on the other hand, could take orders and last until the chakra ran out or the construction was disrupted. That would take a while, and Ino would think it was just a prank when Aiko dissolved on the off chance that the clone let her get in a good physical blow. Hopefully that wouldn't happen, though, because it would be weird to just have her shorts sitting in the middle of a training field.

If he was actually watching, Tobi didn't have to believe that the clone was her all day. That just had to happen long enough for her to slip out under henge and head to the market district for a few essentials for a new apartment. Two hours later, a purple-haired woman in a lacey, conservative, and unspeakably voluminous white dress that Aiko wouldn't normally be caught dead in had withdrawn a completely horrifying amount of money from the bank Ino had set her account in.

She had spent a while thinking about the optimal location she would rent. Her initial thought had been that she should set herself up as far away as possible from her apartment to distance herself from Tobi. And then she had considered the fact that such an action was completely predictable. So she rented a tiny open flat in the building next door, where she could keep an eye on things. Metaphorically speaking of course, since the room was on the opposite side of the building, without a line of sight to her real apartment. If Tobi had any sense at all and knew what she had done, he would go to her windows and see which apartments had a view of hers and investigate those. That would be what she would do.

Aiko whiled away the time waiting for the building manager to file paperwork by internally debating whether her mind was too convoluted or just right. She ended up deciding that depending on whether or not Tobi was a similarly paranoid bastard.

It cost a sob story about an abusive ex boyfriend and an extra 25% of her rent to convince her elderly landlady to backdate the paperwork to indicate that Aiko had applied for the room two weeks prior and file it as such. She didn't want to find out that only one apartment in Konoha had been rented out the day after Tobi had sauntered into town. If he was half as sneaky as he seemed, he'd be able to piece that together.

She spent the time left until her clone failed painting her new apartment. Not in the conventional way, of course. Aiko had immediately pulled the full curtains she'd bought out of her satchel so that no one could see in and then covered the place in Hiraishin seals. If Tobi did track her here, she'd want to have a lot of mobility.

The influx of memories that hit her at that moment informed her that the clone had managed to make it through practice with Ino, but that Hōseki had bit it to end the chakra construct because it was time for Aiko to feed the dogs or they were going to go home. She snorted in amusement, but dropped the henge and siphoned chakra out of the seals on her gloves that quieted her chakra signature. Aiko took one last look around her new abode before she left via Hiraishin (she could hardly be tracked there if she never walked to the safehouse). It was quiet and decidedly unwelcoming. The floors were clean, but that was about the best thing that could be said about it.

' _A safehouse isn't Barbie's dream mansion,'_ Aiko chided herself, turning on her heels away from the view even as she pulled herself back to her real apartment where the dogs were waiting. _'It doesn't have to be comfortable. It just has to do the job of giving me someplace Tobi won't look for me.'_

Assuming he still wanted to get her alone, she was safer during the day than she was at night. Still, she didn't linger in her apartment. Mitsuo woofed happily when she nearly bolted for the door, and the trip downstairs inadvertently turned into a three-way run.

Hoseki won, so they scowled at her even as the three trekked to the market district. Unfortunately, she hadn't had time to buy food before Kotetsu found her. Aiko gave him a mournful stare, and tried not to stare too obviously at his meticulously groomed chin…beard… thing. He had to use a ruler to get it to look like that.

"Are you sure you can't tell Tsunade-sama that you didn't find me until after I'd had lunch?" she wheedled, employing puppy eyes to their best effect.

They were ineffective, though he did crack a smile. "I'm sure," he dryly retorted. "Why would I want to take a fall for you?"

She batted her eyes. "Because I'm adorable?" Aiko asked innocently.

Kotetsu rolled his eyes. "Not a chance," he replied flatly. "You can't trick me, short stuff. I've worked with _Genma_ before. You're ten years too early to try to flirt your way out of having to report."

' _What's that supposed to mean?'_

Mildly bewildered by the reference to someone she didn't really know, she dismissed her hounds so they could go home to eat. There was no point in everyone being uncomfortable. Then she followed the Chuunin errand boy to Tsunade's office.

Apparently, Tsunade had wanted her to repeat her report to Konoha's spymaster. It was a bit tiresome, but Aiko understood the need. No matter how diligent Tsunade was, there was always the risk that a clue would be lost when a second person paraphrased a critical report. This was, she was available for questions.

For the first time, someone thought to ask what she had been able to see of the exposed eye through Tobi's mask to add something to their incredibly sparse physical description, which made her realize that she hadn't seen anything. Well, she had known that the eye was shadowed, but she hadn't thought about whether that was a consequence of the lighting and the way the mask blocked light or a genjutsu. Jiraiya seemed certain it was a genjutsu, and who was she to argue?

Now that she really considered it, it did seem positively bizarre that she hadn't been able to catch even a glint of red. Sharingan eyes were highly reflective, and would have caught the light at one point.

' _On the other hand, Tobi would probably want to hide when he had that activated,'_ she thought self depreciatingly. She'd had other things on her mind, but still. She'd been staring at him so intently that she really should have wondered why all she saw was a black hole in his mask.

"I don't suppose you have anything else to add?" Jiraiya sighed.

Aiko bit her lip consideringly, and shrugged. Maybe he'd be able to make more sense of this, or point her in the right direction. Her mind was already racing ahead, trying to find a way to phrase what had happened without inserting her biases, so that Jiraiya could give an assessment that wasn't influenced by hers. "Did dad ever have a problem with his seals in a fight?" When all the man did was raise an eyebrow, she added, "Tobi did something really weird when he grabbed me."

A hard look shuttered over her godfather's eyes, and she wondered if it might have been a good idea to gloss over that part. Too late now.

Hurriedly, she continued, "It was- He took me…" Aiko frowned, and decided to just spit out her theory, since she couldn't think of a way to describe what had happened without tainting Jiraiya's impression. "It wasn't like using Hiraishin to slip between at all, but I think that's what it was." At his horror, she waved her hands. "Not Hiraishin!" she clarified, before dropping her hands and wringing her fingers together. "Another in-between space. A fourth dimension- or fifth, as it were," she added with dry humor. "It seemed like we were there much longer than I ever am in Hiraishin, so I could be wrong about it looking altogether different. But it was bizarre." She stopped to lick her lips, struggling for a way to describe what she'd seen. "I can't put it into words," Aiko settled lamely. "But anyway. When I was there, I couldn't feel my seals at all. And when we came back to Konoha, almost all of them were gone."

Tsunade went white.

"None of the ones on kage," Aiko reassured. "And I still have Naruto and Shinji tagged. The other jinchuuriki…" she made a face. "Might be a good idea to line them up and slap some paint on them, if they're willing. Probably won't be," she admitted honestly. "I don't think Fuu ever realized I'd tagged her. And Utakata probably won't want to see me again."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" Tsunade snapped, looking more confused than actually angry.

"I was pretty disoriented," Aiko pointed out dryly. "I was in shock, and I'd just lost a sense. Not exactly my best moment. And you didn't give me much chance to offer information. You asked me the questions that were relevant to trying to catch Tobi, and then you sent me out, if you will recall."

Plus, she'd been feeling very vulnerable and not interested in sharing her weakness. Jiraiya looked at her in a way that implied he knew what she wasn't saying. He heaved a sigh and turned his chin up instead of confronting her, and put his hands on his hips. "Well," he mused, voice rumbling even lower than usual. "That is distressing. No, Minato never experienced anything like that. Why did you assume- oh, I see," he half-mumbled to himself. "It had to be a fifth dimension, counting yours as fourth, otherwise you would have been able to just Hiraishin out. Do you have any idea why he brought you back to Konoha?"

That had honestly never occurred to her. "Maybe he can't use it as a means of travel?" Aiko weakly suggested. "He seemed surprised that it hurt me. Maybe he just came back before he'd done whatever he intended to do." What the hell else would he use it for?

Jiraiya frowned. "Maybe, but I wouldn't count on it."

Tsunade had been looking a little lost, but at this point she scowled, having latching on to the last point. "I suppose that explains why we never caught him," she added grumpily.

The toad sannin just hummed in agreement, clearly not paying his old teammate much attention.

* * *

Naruto's eyes were all but closed, but he still noted a sense of warmth and presence approaching. He glanced over at the source as it knelt at his side. "I suppose you just happened to come help refill water?"

Sasuke gave him a withering glance before pulling the pack full of bottles off his back and beginning to pile them up. "Have you already checked the water composition?"

"I'm working on it," he replied shortly. It was necessary every single time they refilled water, despite being a massive pain in the ass. Once Karin had managed to stop twitching the first day they had arrived, she'd explained that the overwhelming chakra permeating the atmosphere suspiciously just inside the border indicated their opponent had control over the rain. That meant he had control over the water supply. So they had to be cautious.

' _Not like Kakashi would have let us slack on securing the safety of the ration supply anyway._ ' Naruto had frankly been surprised to see that the older man could live up to his intimidating reputation when the time came. He had never been so stern and serious before. At least, not that Naruto had seen. Captain Yamato didn't seem surprised at all, so maybe he would have encountered this side of his old sensei if he had remained the man's student longer.

It reminded him a bit of Aiko's freaky personality change into sternness on their mission to hunt Mukade, actually. Terse and bossy and not doing a great job of hiding that they were hyper-alert and probably scared that something was going to happen to their subordin-

"Don't think so hard, you'll get a headache."

Naruto gave Sasuke a glare for that half-hearted gibe, but he couldn't really get behind the banter. The distracted and unhappy expression on the Uchiha's face indicated that he wasn't feeling it either.

It was the first time they'd had a chance to talk in anything resembling privacy since their early wakeup. Their superiors were distracted, not half-witted. If Yamato noticed them whispering a few hours after a report from home came, he would shut them down.

' _If the pervert were here, I bet he'd be on our side.'_ Naruto rather violently shoved the next bottle under the water, half-wishing Jiraiya hadn't left with the toads' aid that morning. Jiraiya was technically the highest ranking person who had been out on the border, but he'd been there in an unofficial capacity. If he had been asked, he might have been willing to go against orders to go into Ame. The pervert had never cared much for orders. He was sort of awesome. Who else would go to work on their own initiative?

' _Come to think of it, the pervert's been really serious too,_ ' Naruto mused. ' _You'd think that he would enjoy this more, since he was doing it of his own volition.'_

His teammate's voice brought him back to the real world. "They'll know as soon as we cross the border." Sasuke's expression was blank.

"Yeah," Naruto acknowledged with a scowl. There had to be some way around that. "Do you think the rain technique is sensitive enough to monitor things like summons? I know that Aiko's isn't."

"If it isn't, we could send one of your toads in and reverse summon to his position," Sasuke suggested, dropping water purifier pills into the bottles one by one and then fastening them shut. There wasn't really a question that they intended to go fight Akatsuki. If they didn't have that delusional jackass with the water to worry about, Ame would have already been routed. The four-country alliance had sent a lot of firepower.

Naruto bit his lower lip and kicked out his heels, lying back on his elbows. "It takes a relatively big, powerful toad to do that," he admitted. "Gamakichi is getting pretty strong… but then it seems less likely that he'll be able to slip in unnoticed."

Sasuke grunted in acknowledgement, leaning back a little himself. "We might need Karin," he mused. "Do you think she'll be amenable? It would be preferable to ensure that no one is going to herd us into a trap."

"Yeah," Naruto said, with a little more confidence than he felt. "She's getting sick of waiting here too. I bet she's anxious to do something. Besides,-"

"I can hardly leave you idiots to get yourselves killed alone," Karin dryly finished, giving them a dirty look as both boys spun around to see her. She heaved a sigh and pulled her heavy hair off her neck, making a face at the damp. "How did I know you were planning something stupid?" she asked conversationally, before snapping her fingers. "Oh wait! Could it be the significant glances you were exchanging all day? The way you not so subtly arranged to be alone? Or was it just that you're predictable?"

"To be fair, those same clues could have been used to derive any number of possibilities," Sasuke bantered, giving her that sideways half-smile that always sent a shiver up Naruto's spine and made him think of the moment before Baa-chan said something really off-putting.

"Like what, you two were running off for a romantic tryst?" Karin asked bluntly, folding her legs in front of her and using one hand as a brace. The other hand fidgeted with her glasses, revealing that she wasn't as unaffected as she was portraying. Naruto was transfixed. He was missing something. He knew he was, but he didn't know what it was.

"Why, are you jealous?" Sasuke asked smoothly, giving a languid stretch that did something funny to the graceful muscles of his neck. "You've caught us. We came out here, to this soggy paradise, to fu-"

"Bastard!" Naruto shrieked, leaping at him to cover his mouth and make him stop saying such weird things. Sasuke had been ready for that, however, and he found himself pinned on his stomach with his wrists caught in Sasuke's hand. Naruto was oddly relieved, even as he went through the obligatory wiggling and whining when his teammate unceremoniously sat on his back. Wrestling was familiar and safe.

There was an odd sound that might have been a giggle, if Karin weren't more likely to cackle. She cleared her throat, and Naruto heard her advise mock-seriously, "I think you're going to have to try a different position, but I'm not here to judge. Either way… What do you two have to say about this situation?"

"I think we're going to have to wait until Jiraiya returns," Naruto admitted grumpily, clawing at the ground and getting mud encrusted up to his second knuckles. "He's probably the only one who can fight with our mysterious kami." The way he pronounced the last word was rather close to the way Sasuke's persistently disgruntled great-aunt might say things like 'unicorn', 'fiscal responsibility,' and 'dog feces'.

Feeling charitable, Sasuke only gave Naruto a little kick in the ribs as he got up and began gathering the equipment to return to camp. "How long can that be?" he asked philosophically. "Jiraiya might be needed in the village, but that's probably for one very specific thing, and then he'll be out here again. Tsunade-sama has a hard time keeping him where he's supposed to be when he's not invested. Since he wants to be here, it's only a matter of time."

"Are we just going to hope that everyone capitulates, or should we start feeling out who else is restless enough to make our own plan?" Karin asked with a sigh, giving a stretch that cracked her back four times. "If we can figure out a way to communicate long distance, we could actually take advantage of our superior numbers."

Naruto gave a theatrical scoff and jumped up to his feet, snatching half of Sasuke's burden away and beginning to stride back to camp. "Tactics, Karin?" he tossed over his shoulder. "Don't you realize that's the refuge of people who can't just hit their problems in the face?"

"Oh no," she droned. "Do I ever feel embarrassed."

"Well, if it makes you feel better," Naruto mock-assured her. "I guess we can try it. But I reserve the right to fall back on using superior force and yelling a lot."

"As if anyone could stop you," Sasuke sighed, sharing a mildly piteous look with Karin behind Naruto's back.

The blond gave him a hurt expression, big blue eyes quavering. "Hey, are you calling me stupid?"

"If the geta fit…"

* * *

Author's note

For those who wondered what flowers Aiko fed to the drain…

Anemone- sincerity

Poppy- comfort

Which was a nice apology gesture. Tobi is a nice guy. Definitely a very good boy. It might have worked better if Aiko was a different kind of girl.

* * *

Omake: If Ino had disrupted Aiko's clone

The ugly sound of teeth grinding was all she could hear for several seconds while Ino tried to calm her breathing and her temper.

It didn't work. "Aiko, you irresponsible troglodyte!" she shrieked, outright stomping her foot. "Come back here and fight me!"

No one emerged from the treeline to apologize for snubbing her by not even showing up to their planned spar or to claim that the joke had been in poor taste. Balefully, she directed her glare to the shorts and tanktop lying crumpled on the ground where the clone had been when she'd gotten a rather vicious kick in. Ino could see just a hint of a turquoise strap peeking out from under the tanktop. First of all, who went to the trouble of putting a bunshin in real clothes? Secondly, what kind of damn lunatic would be thorough enough to make it wear _underwear_?

Aiko, apparently. That was who. Ino hmmpfed and tossed her hair over her shoulder, wavering for just a second as to whether there was any point to engaging in a good stomp off if no one was here to see it. After a moment's contemplation, she decided that she was dramatic for her personal edification and not to play to an audience, so she whipped around and walked away with a straight back and high chin.


	98. Bloodlines

Mildly Irritated Author's Note, not directed to any one person in particular

Please stop claiming a character is 'holding the idiot ball' unless you have some sort of coherent reasoning for that. I'm not a perfect author- I'm aware that I am human. I miss things. It's theoretically possible that I miss something embarrassingly obvious and the character's actions are therefore off after that. If so, feel free to tell me about it, so I can address the issue. But getting crabby with me because a character within the story doesn't have and act on the nearly omnipotent knowledge readers have is pointless and just makes me want to light the internet on fire. I mean, it's a pretty rude thing to say.

On another note, we're getting close to the end. Sort of, anyway. Doesn't look like I'm going to get in everything I wanted. Perhaps there'll be a sequel... a much shorter sequel. But I'm just about done with this. If I don't get to change the status to 'complete' soon, I'm going to be writing it for half my adult life and I'm just not ready for that sort of commitment. I can barely maintain congenial relations with my cat. We're not on good terms now, incidentally.

* * *

"Are you sure my presence is going to be much of a deterrent?" Jiraiya sighed, stretching the ankle that was crossed over his knee. Tsunade's lips thinned slightly, but she didn't say anything. He tried again, raising his voice slightly. "If I didn't know better, I would say that you were just trying to keep me within Konoha. Are you afraid I'm going to do something stupid like walk into Ame and try to talk Konan down?"

His tone was placid, but Tsunade knew it hid an element of danger. He was emotionally compromised. He knew it, she knew it- hell, Keiko probably knew it, although her poker face had become exponentially better in the course of her employment.

That didn't mean he would react well to her admitting that yes, she was at least partially motivated by fear that he would get his fool head bashed in because that was what happened when fools rushed in.

"What do you think the Tsuchikage is _thinking_ , if he is at all?" she said instead, conjuring up more irritation than she really felt for the missive she had received pressuring and shaming Konoha. He couldn't _really believe_ that Konoha was more liable for their traitors' behavior than anyone else was. It was unprecedented to hold a missing nin's country of origin responsible for their crimes, after they'd been disowned. But Oonoki was trying to force Konoha to pay reparations for what Orochimaru had done years after he had been branded a dissident- something about that damn base in Grass country?

Jiraiya took the bait for now and shrugged.

"Probably wants to get the first rhetorical blow in, before you accuse him of espionage. Now if you retaliate, it just looks like you're pissed that he wants you to take responsibility for what Orochimaru did in foreign countries."

She had already guessed as much. That didn't make it any less annoying.

"What a moron," Tsunade groused, fanning herself with the letter she'd been reading. "As if I'm just anxious to get into another international problem when we already have Akatsuki on our hands. He's really not that important."

Inwardly, she winced. Even when she was trying to change the topic, she couldn't help but reference the organization that was making her old teammate so broody. It wasn't as if their previous subject –Orochimaru- had ceased to be a sore spot either, but he was long past the point of being saved. Konan was too, but if she knew her teammate he was retaining the hope that if he could just talk to his old student she could be persuaded to leave Akatsuki.

Jiraiya was understandably torn up about discovering that someone he had long mourned was in fact alive and associated with a terrorist organization that had vowed to murder one of his godchildren and had assaulted the other godchild. It was the sort of awkward revelation that you couldn't quite look past, no matter how much you liked a person.

She hadn't entirely been lying when she said she hoped that his presence in the city would deter this 'Tobi' from coming back to harass Aiko. If he had really just wanted to take her with him, he would have.

No, that incident had been about something else. It was quite probably meant for _someone_ else. Tobi had stated his intentions, terrified the teen, and batted around an entire ANBU squad to make the point that he could do as he pleased. It might be a play against Jiraiya in specific, or perhaps Aiko's captain- Kakashi had a lot of enemies. Or Tobi might just be picking a high-value target with a decent reputation to make the point that he was powerful to enhance his own reputation.

For the moment, she was acting on the hypothesis that Tobi hadn't necessarily been bluffing about returning. He might be back, if only because failing to follow through would undermine the effect of his first foray into Konoha. If that happened, it would be better to have another s-class shinobi on hand. It wasn't like Jiraiya found spending time with his goddaughter to be much of a trial. They'd shared several meals while he'd been back from what Tsunade had half-heartedly heard while busy in her own work.

"Hime, you can't keep me here forever. I'm of a lot more use in the field and you know it."

She was saved from having to come up with a response by the blur of movement that occurred when Aiko used Hiraishin to flicker into the office and then immediately ducked and rolled away, popping back up on the floor with the strangely wary expression she used when returning from foreign offices.

' _I only tried to swat her the once,_ ' Tsunade thought rather sulkily. It was just a reflex to hit ninja that suddenly appeared a few feet away.

"Tsunade-sama, the Mizukage would like aid." Her voice was unusually high, and Aiko all but ran her words together. Tsunade idly noted that one of her bangs appeared to be scorched, much more interested in the content of the girl's words. Jiraiya had perked up in obvious interest. "She called me because her rebels or dissidents or whatever took note that half her Jounin were out surrounding Ame and they're trying a coup."

"Well, there's your field work," Tsunade noted with biting irony to her old partner. She snapped her fingers—and the ANBU stepped into sight, ready for orders. "Put the village on lockdown, and make sure Shizune knows what's going on. I'm going to go take care of this personally."

It was largely her fault that so many had been deployed to Ame, after all. Or her responsibility, rather. She couldn't fail to come to her allies' aid, but nor did she have the excess of powerful teams on standby to be deployed at the moment. There was no point in risking genin teams on this. No. Three S-class shinobi were standing right in the office, and that was the kind of backup that could make a significant difference in a pinch.

"Aiko-chan, would you be a darling and take us to the Mizukage?" She straightened her haori, wiggled her feet inside her heels, and strode over to the girl even as Jiraiya held out an arm gallantly.

Aiko looked downright confused at their lack of urgency, but gamely slid her hand under her godfather's arm. That was one of the things that separated the experienced shinobi from new shinobi. Worrying wouldn't speed their feet, and they had fought in so many battles that this was just another day out. In contrast… this would probably be Aiko's first large scale battle, wouldn't it? The great nations had been hanging in tenuous peace for so long that the closest thing she'd have experienced would have been border problems. "Come on now," Tsunade added gently, placing a hand on Aiko's shoulder. "Is this enough conta-"

She cut off her own sentence, because they were suddenly a continent away and in the middle of a firefight. The Mizukage appeared to be strangling a young man with her bare hands. Her fidgety bodyguard was fending off some scar-faced swordswoman, but the older bodyguard was nowhere to be seen.

"That was fast!" Terumi called out, sounding not exactly cheerful but not stressed either. The tension in her jaw showed the lie. "I'm afraid that they haven't donned a convenient uniform, so I've just been killing the ones that attack me. That should work for you as well, since they'll know that Konoha nin are my allies."

"Sounds acceptable," Tsunade replied, peering around her surroundings with interest.

At her voice, Terumi actually jerked around to verify the identities of her backup, mouth hanging open. She dropped her prey and shook her head slightly. "Well, this I didn't ex-"

She was cut off by the imaginative shriek of "harlot!" from a new opponent and then the Mizukage was distracted by another fight.

"Nice place they have here," Jiraiya deadpanned.

It looked like hell. Blood was running in the gutters from uphill, which didn't bode well for that residential district. Most of the doors were fastened shut as if civilians were cowering inside, but some had clearly been burnt and then put out with powerful water jutsu. The destroyed building faces were better than a gutted ash pit of a city, but they weren't going to do anything for Mist's tourism.

Tsunade and Jiraiya stayed together, falling back into their old teamwork with the precision and grace of two expert musicians playing a familiar tune. The Mizukage hadn't been wrong when she said that fights would come to them as they basically steamrolled through the village with the Mizukage, clearing streets and breaking up the other fights they found. After a while, Tsunade noted that Aiko was darting ahead of the small group of powerhouses.

"Do you think she painted her kunai with nail polish, or does someone actually sell those?" Jiraiya sounded mildly pained. He was paying more attention to his goddaughter's strange antics than his own fight. After a while, it did get repetitive to smack down C and B class shinobi who really didn't stand a chance.

"Oh, dear," Mei's sissy swordsman breathed, clearly having overheard and then turned to see what Aiko was doing. He had looked just in time to see her dart through a line of the rebels that crowded the streets (the loyalists had figured out mid-battle to re-tie their hitai-ites around their arms as identification). The way that everyone she passed erupted in localized explosions, sending blood spurting out in a wave behind her, was sort of _beautiful,_ if macabre. But…

"Did you see her do more than touch any of them?" Mei asked, caught between amusement and curiosity.

Jiraiya had already turned back to his own fight and Tsunade said nothing. She hadn't seen Aiko touch most of them—but when she did, it was literally just a touch. Tsunade wouldn't be sharing that, though. It was good to be on peaceable terms with Kiri, but that didn't mean it was a good idea to help them dissemble a technique that was unique to Konoha. At least, she assumed it was unique to Konoha. It almost had to be Hiraishin-aided at the least.

Her hands were smeared with blood and her coat spotted with it, but Tsunade felt a grim sort of satisfaction when less than an hour's work confirmed that Kiri was still Terumi's village.

She had to cringe when Aiko found her way back to them, all but soaking in blood. There were semi-clean lines across her face where she'd clearly tried to wipe her nose and mouth clean, as well as her eyes, but it was unattractive at best. "Uzumaki, I think that you're going to have to perfect whatever it is you've been doing," she commented.

Aiko just shrugged. "I was doing well, and then I stupidly tried to go back for one I'd missed and was too close to an explosion," she explained without really explaining at all.

Tsunade let it slide. "Mizukage-dono!" she called out, striding towards where she had last seen the other woman.

After all that had been settled and they finally went home, Tsunade caught Aiko's arm and then jerked away, because the cold blood felt slimy under her fingertips. Uncaring that the office they had just teleported into was already occupied by Shizune, two ANBU, and a couple of slack-jawed idiots from the downstairs offices, she rather bluntly raised her question. "Uzumaki, what was that 'touch of death' monstrosity you had going on?"

The teenager blinked twice, and tugged on her shirt sleeve with her thumb and forefingers. "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, Hokage-sama," she said in a tone that couldn't be more innocent. The image might have been convincing if she wasn't dripping blood on Tsunade's nice carpet.

Tsunade snorted loudly. "I'm sure," she said dryly. She waved the girl off, eyes flickering over to the people waiting for her attention. She had more immediate concerns than dragging technique details out of a reticent teenager. For all she knew, Aiko might claim it as a clan technique, in which case even the Hokage didn't have a right to an explanation.

* * *

' _That was more than I had planned when I got up this morning.'_ Feeling the Mizukage calling her through her seal had put a pit of a damper on breakfast… come to think of it, how long had Sai waited for her to come back? She winced. He'd need an apology in the morning. Aiko had been all but sopping wet when she trudged out the Hokage's office—and then politely thought better of it, transporting herself directly to her apartment. She wrung the clothes out in her bathtub and then carted them directly to the washing machine, not caring if anyone saw her in her underwear on the brief trip. She might have gone to her safehouse instead, if she had gotten around to moving clothes over already. That outfit certainly wasn't going to be re-worn tonight.

Aiko let her head rest against the tile and tried to massage shampoo as deeply into her hair as possible to force out any hint of blood from clinging to her scalp. She ended up doing that three times before she was satisfied.

It was relatively easy to tag an opponent and move away before she destroyed the seal as well as the flesh it had been stuck to. She had done something similar while fighting Mukade's puppets, but she now knew that fighting a large group of people with that technique was a bit different. For starters, it got a lot messier.

' _It didn't help that I was impulsive enough to move backwards,_ ' Aiko noted with a little bit of humor at her own expense as she dressed. She had fallen into a routine, and then stupidly failed to adjust how long she was waiting to destroy the last seal she had set to compensate for the fact that she hadn't moved far enough away to clear the blood splatter.

She glanced down at her own hands, as if expecting to see that they were still covered in blood. They were immaculate, of course.

They shouldn't be. They were always bloody. All she ever did was kill people. How was it that Tsunade had described her variation on Hiraishin- a touch of death? Wasn't that the exact same phrase Kakashi had used months ago after he'd first seen it?

Apt.

A strange emptiness ripped through her chest, leaving her bereft and mildly shaken. What kind of person was she becoming? She _didn't_ regret killing Shou or any number of other people. If she was in the same situation, she would make the same choices. But that didn't mean she was comfortable. God help her, she loved fighting, and thought of killing as something that was just attached. A side-effect that meant she'd done well on her mission. The fact that she wasn't wracked by self-hatred for that probably said something terrible about what kind of human being she was.

Her first eleven or so years in this world hadn't been like that. Mostly, they had been dull and repetitive. But there had been some sort of comfort in the daily maintenance required to keep house and raise Naruto. This world hadn't changed, but she had.

' _I'm being stupid. I'd never be happy if I just quit to become a housewife or whatever.'_

Aiko flopped down face-first on the couch, letting her right arm flop off the side and curling the left into her ribs. Still. It would be nice to remind herself that she was capable of doing something that wasn't destructive.

"Auurrgghhh!" She bared her teeth and made an incredibly hideous, aggressive groan into the couch cushion.

What was she trying to prove to herself? She'd had non-destructive hobbies before, and they hadn't solved anything. Re-writing children's stories and movies hadn't made her feel any better when she had started her actual work, except as a distraction.

Was she even capable of another doing anything else at this point? Tsunade had to be completely fucking mad to have entrusted her with Fukiko.

She paused, mulling over that line of thought.

Now she was mildly curious as to whether she was capable of doing something that was purely helpful. Like… medical ninjutsu, maybe. That wouldn't be a total waste of her time, would it? She wouldn't want to get good enough that she got pulled back to the support… as if that would happen at this point, she realized sheepishly. Still. She didn't want to be a medic nin, but wouldn't it be nice to be capable of at least patching herself up?

Aiko deliberately didn't think too deeply into what she was doing when she went straight to the archives that Tsunade had finally allowed her unilateral access to and dug around in a completely different section than usual. It absolutely was not allowed for her to take the material out of the building, but she didn't care. She unrolled a scroll on low level, incredibly basic medical ninjutsu—the kind of thing that Itachi had done to encourage her cuts to heal—and read it from top to bottom.

Then she went and scrubbed the blood off the bathroom tiles, because that scroll was god-awfully dull and she needed to do something a little more mentally stimulating to wake her up to the point where she was willing to try a new jutsu on herself.

With the bleach thoroughly washed off of her flesh, she settled down on her bed with the half-rolled scroll on her lap. Aiko stared blankly at it for a while, as if it would suddenly make some sort of intuitive sense. The first step was 'convert your chakra to medical chakra'. How the hell was she supposed to do that? She knew it came naturally to some people, and if there was an easier way of accomplishing such a thing, it would have been detailed. That just meant that either she had the aptitude or she didn't. Uncertainly, she read the thing again, as if inspiration would come. When it didn't, she rested her head in her hands and tried to think.

Okay. Her first approach wasn't working. Maybe it would make more sense to try converting her chakra once she had something in mind to heal? She did work a lot better with a goal. With that in mind, she unholstered a gleaming orange kunai and brought the tip down the inside curve of her left calf to make a thin scratch. With her constitution, it would heal overnight, if she couldn't fix it. Easily, she flicked the resulting blood off and put the blade away before channeling chakra to her right hand.

How hard could this be? Benign chakra. All she needed was chakra that didn't hurt anyone. Surely she was capable of that. Sasuke had managed that, for crap's sake, and he was hardly nice nurse material. Tons of people did this. Karin had managed to teach it to classes full of pre-genin. She didn't have to be the next Tsunade. She just had to be capable of making something that didn't hurt people.

She tried touching the cut with her water-natured chakra to get an understanding of what had to change. That didn't help. She tried to channel chakra from each of her gates in succession. She tried everything that seemed half-plausible and a dozen things that didn't. The little bit of blood seeping out of the scrape almost seemed to be taunting her. It took hours for her to admit defeat.

"Fine."

Feeling tired, Aiko let the energy she had been directing to her hand fade and straightened her back, lifting her head to stare unblinkingly up at the ceiling. Fine, she couldn't do it. Experiment conducted and failure. Her limbs had never felt so heavy, but she responsibly pulled her boots back on and went to return the scroll before anyone noted it missing. Then she went to her safehouse and slept.

That had been stupid. She should stick to what she was good at.

Still, the first thing she did when she woke up was hold her palm in front of her face and try to make it glow with minty chakra.

* * *

Konan took a deep breath, and carefully extracted a bit of water out of the paper flower in her hair to ensure that it was as crisp as possible. The dampness in Ame did her ninjutsu no favors, even if it was hardly crippling. Still, she had been feeling much better. The lingering sluggishness in her hip had just suddenly been gone last week.

She ceased fidgeting when she was joined by the more punctual among Akatsuki. Hidan trailed in almost last, sullen and reticent. He had been complaining about being confined to headquarters, but wasn't bold enough to disobey Pein. Still, his whining about the need to sacrifice to his god was becoming a nuisance.

It was as if all the air went out of the room when Pein graced them with his presence. Konan examined him fondly, eyes tracing the way that his regal posture made him seem intimidating and shying away from the reminder that he was using dead flesh to walk among them. It wasn't for a mortal to question her god. He was going to bring peace, even though he had to resort to military might to do it. His methods were his own, when the prize was so incontestably wonderful.

The only shame was that his servants had not been doing an adequate job enforcing his will. They still only had one bijuu.

"Zetsu and Tobi will retrieve the jinchuuriki of the four-tails."

Konan repressed a quirk of the lips at Pein's timely words. Others seemed less pleased, but held their tongues. They were learning, then. She had half-feared that Hidan would argue that he should be sent out. But Zetsu and Tobi could travel and accomplish this task with more expediency than another team.

"Kisame, you will be maintaining the rain in Ame in my absence."

Her amusement froze. That was the first she had heard of this. She waited patiently for the order to accompany him—she usually did. But that did not happen. He administered several warnings and reminders about what had to be done in his absence, the potential danger posed by the shinobi circling Ame (most of the men present seemed to roll their eyes) and then he said that she would be in charge in his absence.

Her heartbeat quickened. Had she displeased him?

As soon as they were alone, she dared to ask. "Pein-sama?"

He gave her an indulgent look, so she felt free to press forward.

"Where is it that you go?"

"Do not fear." He turned away dismissively, his cloak floating behind him. "I will be back soon for the extraction."

* * *

"Erp!"

Karin's mouth fell open and she sat straight up, inadvertently knocking over the med kit she had been painstakingly restocking.

"It's gone!" She looked at Sasuke with wide eyes, and put a hand to her chest.

He had no idea what she was talking about.

"That chakra signature," she snapped out, exasperated. "In the rain, it's just gone."

Kakashi had been twenty feet away, having just returned from a patrol route, but suddenly he was right by Karin's side. After a few moments, Yamato and Genma exchanged tired looks and followed him over.

"But the rain is still going," Naruto offered uneasily. "I thought that as long as it was being produced, you would sense that chakra. Does it just happen to be raining?"

"No," Karin said tersely. "Well, maybe. It could be natural rain, although I doubt it. I was sensing chakra in it before because it was actively being used to track. But it would take an extraordinarily skilled user to infuse water with her chakra, turn it into rain, and then maintain the connection even as the rain fell for hundreds of miles in each direction. That's why it was so shocking that the rain has been tinted with the same chakra for days. This… has no chakra in it. A skilled user could be infusing water with their chakra and saturating the atmosphere until it rained by taking advantage of natural processes to compensate for not being… you know," Karin shrugged as if struggling for words.

"Idiotically powerful and wasteful?" Naruto offered.

His cousin nodded. "I was looking for a more technical description, but that'll work, I guess."

"Have you sensed anyone moving around?" Kakashi prodded.

Karin shook her head. "No, but I can't sense to the center of the country, where they'd be," she offered sheepishly, pushing her fingers together.

"Neither can I; so let's call it even," Kakashi muttered, ruffling his hair. He heaved a sigh and looked up. "Two hypotheses occur. One, the person who was maintaining the jutsu before is too weary to carry on, and is having a subordinate attempt to mimic the effect to keep us at bay. Or two, that person left," he finished darkly.

There was an uneasy silence while the two teams chewed that over.

After a moment, Genma was the one to react. "I suppose we should contact the other teams, captain," he pointed out, shoving his hands in his pockets. "This is the first time that the situation has changed since we've been here."

"Other than the Mist teams going home?" Naruto muttered, biting on his lower lip. No one had explained that yet, but something must have happened.

"Well, there are still plenty of Konoha, Kumo, and Suna teams," Kakashi sighed. "Sasuke, would you please summon Katsuya-sama and ask her to pass a message to Tsunade-sama? Genma, run a message to the eastern camp. I'll go to the western camp. Tenzo, you're in charge of the kids until I get back."

"Yes, sir!" Yamato acknowledged, straightening a bit.

He had been trusted with many lives, but those were usually ANBU level shinobi. Karin and Sasuke were Chuunin, and technically Naruto was still a genin. Still, the mission to make sure nothing happened in the hour or so that he was the only ANBU level shinobi around shouldn't be too difficult.

Yamato nearly reevaluated that assessment when Sasuke dismissed Katsuya and all three of the teenagers present exchanged completely innocuous, innocent looks.

He shuffled backwards, somehow uncomfortable with the situation but not able to verbalize what was wrong. There was a distinct sense of danger in the air. Yamato cast his senses out in all directions, desperately trying to pinpoint what was wrong. Was that- did light just glint ominously off of Karin's eyes? Warily, he examined the teenagers.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Cataloguing your weaknesses," Sasuke replied honestly. "I think that the three of us together could take you."

Naruto heaved a dramatic sigh, even as Yamato blanched. The blond scratched his head. "And that would leave the three of us wandering alone into enemy territory to confront Akatsuki," he mused.

From their swift coordination, it was clear that this wasn't the first time the teens had thought about this topic. Oddly, he felt a little insulted that they obviously thought he was the weak link. He was probably stronger than Genma. Just because he didn't push his weight around… well, it didn't mean anything, that was all.

"Don't worry," Karin said lightly, digging her toe into the mud. "We won't be alone, per se. We have the advantage of numbers. My summons found the other teams days ago. As soon as I get a few miles into Ame and can sense Akatsuki, I can start telling people where to go."

Naruto snickered, though Yamato was too stiff to get what was funny about that.

"It almost seems like it would be wiser for you to just give in and escort us," Karin added, blinking red eyes up at him. Her voice was almost saccharine sweet.

Yamato swallowed. His mouth was dry. Had it been dry a moment ago?

' _They might be right. I don't know that I can defeat all three of them without hurting them. And if they fight me, all of us will be weakened. And if they are so determined to go into Ame, they can't afford to be vulnerable.'_

"Of course, would it be more embarrassing to lose control of your charges or to defer to them?" Sasuke pretended to wonder aloud. "Either way, Kakashi is going to be very disappointed in you, Yamato." He tsked and shook his head pityingly. The unkind little smile on his face conveyed a different message.

A shiver went up Yamato's spine, and he swallowed uneasily. "You wouldn't," he tried to sound confident.

He didn't care about being embarrassed. But he would be failing in his assigned duty either way. It was more important to try to keep the ungrateful brats safe than it was to insist on keeping them in place. If he tried and failed to keep them from leaving, they would be nearly defenseless.

Identical catlike smiles crawled across all three faces in front of him. Inanely, he wondered if the Uchiha were related to the Uzumaki in some way, because there was a definite similarity there.

They would.

He took a deep breath and steeled himself. "I can't let you three go into Ame. We were posted here for a reason."

The teenagers could have at least pretended to feel a little trepidation. Sasuke gave a deep sigh and cocked a hip. "That's not the smart reaction," he said levelly, "But it's the one I can respect you for."

"We're still going to beat you up!" Naruto chirped, sliding his feet apart and taking an athletic stance.

Yamato clapped his hands together with enough force to jar the muscles in his elbows, already flooding his fingers with chakra. The green spark lit up instantly. He transformed it into raw material for his ninjutsu and sent an enormous shoot of barkless wood spiraling rapidly at Karin, who stood in between her taller peers. Sasuke leapt in front of her and back-handed the wood course.

Perfect. Yamato repressed a smile at that instant. If he had tried to send such an obviously curved branch with dozens of sprouted limbs ready to be grown _around_ them, they would have dodged. But they didn't, and none of them were looking at the wood. They really didn't expect much out of him, did they?

The long branch hit the ground, scraping a long line in the dirt. Twenty-four branches were already swelling and bursting out in an arc that curved over the three teens. He broke his connection to it and dashed forward.

Kids were so arrogant. They were powerful, but they weren't fast enough to play with S class opponents. He had been right to stop them. Sasuke's eyes were red and wide in a way that proved he saw what was going on, although he couldn't react to it in time. Naruto at the back had no chance to push his way forward to escape the cage that was closing around his back. Sasuke's muscles tensed—he saw the trap, and he was the only one with a chance to push his way out, since he'd blocked off Karin.

Which was why Yamato met him as he leapt forward, Karin jerking into motion behind Sasuke. The older man felt a bit of grim amusement when he kicked Sasuke in the ribs, abruptly halting his forward motion and sending him tumbling back into Karin as the cage closed.

Yamato kicked off of the outside of the wooden cage and flipped backwards, landing catlike. He grinned at the cranky and trapped teens. "That cage can hold a bijuu," he pointed out. "So don't bother-"

Crack.

The grin slid off his face. "Seriously, stop." He scowled at Sasuke, whose fist was still knuckle deep in wood. "You can't-"

Crack crack.

"Or just ignore me," Yamato mumbled, locking his fingers behind his head and turning around to hide the put-out look on his face. He whirled around again at the sound of a sickening crunch. "Oh for kami's sake," he snapped, before he registered the dumb-founded look on Sasuke's face.

"Cool," Naruto breathed.

_'It is pretty cool,'_ Yamato thought hysterically, in the instant before the coils of glowing chains leaking out of Karin's back shattered his prison like it had been constructed from paste and toothpicks. They were a minty green he had thought only belonged to medical chakra. More importantly, they were –

"Enormous," Sasuke noted, sounding genuinely impressed. Splinters fell for a good twenty feet in every direction. They'd barely settled when Karin blinked.

"Huh." She put a hand to her hip and twisted to see the point where the chains emerged from the base of her spine. "That's interesting. I just wanted to be able to break the prison." Her lips pursed contemplatively, but the expression failed to disguise the glee at just how much destruction she'd caused.

"Those are a lot better than Aiko's," Naruto pointed out, reaching to catch a bit of debris and roll it thoughtfully between his fingers.

"Not better, different," Sasuke disagreed. "Congratulations on activating your bloodline, Karin, but I wouldn't try to use them the way Aiko does. Unless you want to pulp whoever you're trying to restrain, in any case."

Yamato silently disagreed. They were a good four times thicker than Aiko's chains, and considerably longer. They were also originating from a much lower point on the user's back. Karin didn't seem to be able to maneuver them by wrapping them around her arms like Aiko did- did that make them less precise, or just different?

Either way… That meant he couldn't keep them locked up, and the only way he could keep them in place would be to physically beat them all into unconsciousness. Yamato slumped. He couldn't do that, not if they had any teamwork at all. And he already knew that Naruto and Sasuke had acceptable teamwork.

Naruto snickered. "Ne, that makes me the only one without a bloodline limit," he playfully whined while Karin played around with her new toy. Sasuke elbowed him absentmindedly before picking his way out of the debris field.

"Well, captain," Sasuke breathed sarcastically. Yamato momentarily wished for a chance to slap the smirk off his face. "What are you going to do now?"

What indeed.

Meekly, he followed the teenagers into Ame, intentionally leaving an obvious trail for Kakashi and Genma to follow. He hated his life sometimes.


	99. Hello, Heathens!

' _Ughhh.'_ Aiko did her level best not to let her discomfort with referendums and refinement of security protocols show, and resisted the urge to kick her feet back and forth under the table.

She felt a little like a child in this setting. In a prohibitively formal room with Hyuuga Hiashi on her left and Inuzuka Tsume on her right, she wasn't certain if she wanted to sit up as straight as possible or slump under the table and hope they didn't notice her.

 _'At least there's no civilians to care that I'm wearing mission gear,'_ she consoled herself. Good thing, too. It was too hot and stuffy for more clothes.

Afterwards, she walked out with a little more haste than was strictly proper, and made a bee-line for a bar downtown. Anko slipped up to the counter beside her less than half an hour later, still rolling a dango skewer between her teeth.

"Long day, huh?" Anko reached over and stuck her skewer into Aiko's drink, and grinned when she got a disgusted look in return. The bamboo bobbed up at her innocently. Aiko pushed the hurricane away, and Anko grabbed it up. "Thank you love," she purred before she tilted it up, disregarding the straw entirely.

Aiko just rolled her eyes. "You are incorrigible.'

"I prefer intransigent," Anko pouted, wiping a bit of alcohol off her lips. Even as Aiko began to talk again, she leaned her elbows onto the counter and made a kissy face at a well-muscled Jounin whom Aiko didn't know.

"Right, of course you do," Aiko sighed, turning to glance in the direction Anko was looking and then rolling her eyes. She gestured to the barkeep with two fingers. The tired-looking woman nodded and wiped her fingers on the apron 'round her waist before Aiko glanced back at her companion. "It's a two-slipper day," she confided lowly.

At that, Anko gave Aiko her full attention. "What the actual fuck is that supposed to mean, shortstuff?" She raised one eyebrow and gave Aiko a seriously unimpressed look.

Aiko heaved a sigh and buried her chin in a palm. The other one gratefully curled around her newly delivered drink. "Mitsuo gets nervous sometimes," she stated conversationally. Anko looked baffled. "He finds sleeping with something that smells like me comforting sometimes." She took a sip and licked her lower lip, sitting up. "So if it's been a bad day off in ninken-land or whatever, I'll come home to find that he made off with a slipper to cuddle. On really bad days, he takes them both."

There was a moment of silence. Then a "pffft-ing" snort sound escaped Anko. Aiko's lips twitched up, and then both of them were laughing.

"I love dogs," Anko wheezed, gently pounding the counter with a fist. "That's some classy shit right there."

Aiko looked at her, tilting away and cocking her head to give the older woman a mock-disapproving look. "Well, you would know," she sing-songed.

"Oh, shut up." Anko nearly pushed Aiko off her stool and turned her chin up. "I will have you know that I am in fact a classy fucking lady."

"If you have to say it, it's not true. But fine!" Aiko put her hands up in a peace-keeping gesture, smiling faintly. She ran a finger along the rim of her now-empty glass, and then licked the pad of her finger. "Is it a two-slipper day for you too?"

In response, Anko called for another round of drinks. "How does a trip to the onsen sound?" She whirled the last bit of her drink and then swigged it in a frighteningly unladylike motion.

Aiko tried not to cringe.

The older kunoichi raised an eyebrow. "It's not that horrible to have to compare your scrawny ass to my voluptuous bod, is it?" she asked, affecting baby-speak. Anko gave an exaggerated pout and leaned over to pat Aiko's head. "Poor kitten," she cooed. "I know it's hard to see everything you'll never be, but-"

"It's not that, you hag," Aiko huffed, smacking Anko's hand away. "It's just- no, it's stupid," she shook her head. "Yeah, fine, I'd love to go with you."

' _I'm being ridiculous,'_ she scolded herself as she shucked her clothes and settled them in the bamboo storage boxes. _'It's not like there's any real correlation in between me going for a nice, relaxing soak and something terrible happening.'_

She held her breath for a moment and looked around cautiously, checking the skyline for signs of the apocalypse. Anko gave her an odd look, but said nothing. Pleased that no one appeared to be hiding in the tree line, Aiko gave a little smile as she settled in, piling the towel on her head and being careful to hold her book above the water.

"Ah, this feels so good," Anko moaned, giving a lissome stretch.

That was when the village alarms went off.

"I fucking knew it!" Aiko snapped, standing straight up and huffily padding across the stones. Wasn't there an old saying to that effect- a mock science question about what happens when a woman gets in the bath and the answer is that the telephone rings? She was just never going to be able to relax again. Just freaking fine, she got the message already, thank you cruel universe. She levered herself directly over the fence into the grassy knoll out back, and started to walk towards town, wringing her hair out as she went.

"Um… Uzumaki?"

" _What_?" She balled her hands into fists and tossed her head irritably in the direction she'd come from. What was taking Anko so long? They had to report.

"Wardrobe malfunction?" Anko said, somehow making it sound more like a question.

Aiko looked down. "Ah." She turned 180 degrees and pulled the towel that had fallen onto her shoulders around her torso. "Oh, shut up."

That didn't stop Anko's sniggers.

As soon as the two had stuffed themselves into their clothing, they joined the group waiting in the Jounin stand-by center. Aiko did her best to ignore the odd looks they were getting for being soaking wet and batted her eyes until someone made enough room for the two of them on the circular red couches that ringed the outside of the tower. She kicked her feet up onto her new friend's lap and idly pretended to flirt, just trying to keep the atmosphere light as the shinobi milling about grew tenser. They didn't like being crowded and waiting for information. The alarm that was still going off meant different things for different ranks—the civilians and genin were going home or staying in their workplaces, the Chuunin were securing various checkpoints, and on duty ANBU were manning the walls.

When the door opened, nearly everyone came to attention.

Tsunade waved a hand at the crowd. "Stand down."

Aiko hadn't moved a muscle.

"The situation in Ame has changed," she announced without preamble. "We have received information that leads us to suspect that their leader has left the country, and he's probably not alone." Tsunade raised her voice as if to speak over the crowd, but no one in the room had so much as whispered. Under their hard stares, she continued, "As of yet, we don't have solid information, but if I were in his position…" Her lips twisted into a wry smile. "Well, I'd be coming here, to the heart of the alliance. He thinks that if he can break us, he can demoralize the other countries." She paused for a moment. "He's probably right," Tsunade said quietly. "But that's not going to happen, is it, ladies and gentlemen?"

"Fuck no!" Anko whooped, slapping the couch and plastering a cheery grin on her face. Aiko wasn't even sure how much of it was bravado.

"Thank you, Mitarashi," Tsunade gravely acknowledged. "We're going to go sector by sector and evacuate all civilians and any shinobi fourteen and under to the panic shelters. I don't need to tell you that this is going to be chaos. While the Chuunin and genin take care of that, I will need each and every one of you to do what you can to help out. We have the walls watched, but we can't afford to allow any suspicious persons to use the evacuation as a distraction. Be on guard, people, and wait for further orders."

It took a long time for everyone to pile out of the room, busy as they were checking their immediate assignment off with Tsunade's beleaguered assistants. Kotetsu caught Aiko by the wrist and nodded in confidentially. "You're assisting in the evac. of one of the academy classes, Tsunade-sama says you'll know which one," he explained without preamble when it was finally her turn. "Report directly back to her once you're done with that."

' _I'll know which- oh, Fukiko's class.'_ Aiko gave him a strained smile in acknowledgement and left the building. The Academy was next door- no coincidence, that. The students who had been sequestered inside since the alarm went odd were doing a relatively good job at remaining calm, she noted as she made the familiar trip to Fukiko's classroom.

She nearly immediately realized the logical fallacy inherent in that.

' _Or their teachers are keeping order,'_ Aiko internally corrected. Academy Chuunin were a particularly fearsome breed. She wouldn't want to tangle with one of them. She thought even civilian teachers had a hard job, and _they_ could be reasonably certain that none of their little dears would be stabbing each other at recess.

Fukiko-chan's lovely instructor re-enforced the hypothesis that Academy Chuunin were stupidly terrifying by attempting to take Aiko's head off when she rapped on the closed door to the classroom. Aiko jerked to the side as the wood burst and put her hands up, maintaining eye contact with the older woman. "Maa, what kind of welcome is this?" She gave the brunette a disarming smile, noting her disheveled appearance—flyaways in her ponytail, ink on her fingers—and concluded that the poor woman was under a lot of stress.

Momentarily, Aiko wished she'd bothered to ask the woman's name at some point before now.

"I'm here to help you herd the cute little students to their designated safepoint, Sensei," she slowly said, tilting her head slightly and hoping the older woman would stand down. Good for her, being proactive with her students' safety, but fighting would waste time…

The older woman lowered her hands even as she flushed a little with embarrassment for having attacked a Jounin. "Of course, Uzumaki-san."

' _That's awfully formal, considering she's older than I am,'_ Aiko noted bemusedly. Still, it wasn't a good time to comment about something like that and she let it slide. "I think our ducklings are first," she confided, poking her head into the classroom. "Do you have them all?"

"There should be twenty-seven," Sensei responded immediately.

Aiko stopped and just looked at her. That was a lot of children for one person to watch in the best of circumstances. An academy where they trained children to throw sharp projectiles was not anything like those optimal circumstances.

"Bless you, woman, you're a superhero," she said sincerely. Without waiting for a reaction, she strode into the room and made her own count. Frightfully familiar faces she had never noticed before stared up at her- that messy haired brunette with the triangle markings could have been Kiba's female twin, the trio of Hyuuga students were achingly familiar in their proud posture, and there was a little redhead in the third row who looked enough like Sakura that it outright hurt.

"Well, they're all here unless someone is messing around with bunshin or we've traded with another class," she muttered, giving a forceful genjutsu dispel to be sure there was no funny business. All was well, so she scooped Fukiko up onto her hip—pure force of habit, that girl was so cuddly—and took up the rear while Sensei led them out of the Academy in single file.

"Aiko-sensei?" Fukiko whispered.

She stroked the little dark head against her shoulder, visually scanning the surrounding area. "Yes, Fukiko-chan?"

"Are you going to stay with us?"

Aiko bit her lip regretfully. "I have to report," she confessed. "I'm sorry. But I bet I can leave a friend with you. Would you like to meet one of my ninken?"

Hōseki wasn't the best in a fight, but she would be able to pinpoint approaching intruders a mile away to give warning. Mitsuo could too, of course, but that wouldn't do any good if no one could understand him.

The hound was not exactly pleased about being left to watch over a group of enthusiastic children for an unspecified period of time, but she graciously enough acquiesced to keep an eye on 'the puppy' and be there to call Aiko for help through the seal under her collar if needed. It probably helped that Fukiko took direction well about how to rub behind her ears and properly massage the pads of her toes. Aiko rolled her eyes, but considered that well enough and summoned up Mitsuo to walk her back to town and keep an eye on the crowds pushing their way to the shelters. She didn't know what good paying attention was going to do- surely any infiltrators or spies would know the security protocols well enough to blend in. But she'd been told to keep an eye out, so she did.

The trip had been several hours walking through one of the underground tunnels out of city limits, and many of the little hidey holes were splayed out under the cliffs north of Konoha. It would have been foolish to usher their most vulnerable citizens to one place to be murdered in dark caves. The further they were spread, the safer they were. Of course, one academy teacher was hardly enough security, so an older group would probably be joining them. Hopefully, if there was one to spare, anyway.

Neither Mitsuo nor Aiko sensed anything amiss in the groups teeming across town, though she did see a severely put-out group of teenagers she recognized in the mob heading towards the facility she had just escorted the Academy children to. Mildly suspicious, she leapt out in front of them. "Ino-chan? Shikamaru-kun, Chouji-kun," she greeted cautiously. Intruders using their faces to approach the secured facilities, perhaps? Those three were all older than fourteen.

Ino scowled at her, but Shikamaru seemed to cotton on to her thoughts. "It's a drag, but Asuma-sensei's ordered us to go hide with the kids," he drawled, looking downright unhappy. "Apparently, they don't have much faith that the clan kids in the field are going to survive, and Tsunade-sama gave us some speech about how it would be more crippling for Konoha to lose an entire generation of clan heirs in one fell swoop than it would be helpful for us to contribute to an unknown situation."

She nodded sympathetically, but Aiko silently agreed with Tsunade's logic. Naruto, Sasuke, and Karin were out hunting Akatsuki and therefore in danger. Hinata's team was out on a tracking mission of some sort and therefore possibly compromised as well.

"That sucks. Well, have fun. Someone has to watch the genin," she said a bit awkwardly, twirling hair around her finger. Mitsuo gave a soft whuff- and she relaxed, the last bit of tension fading now that he had confirmed their identities. "Anything you guys need?" she asked to be polite.

"No, I think we're good," Chouji sighed. "Hey, would you tell my dad where I am if you see him?"

"Can do," Aiko nodded. She hesitated- and then gave each one of them a brief hug, lingering a bit on Ino. The taller girl took a steadying breath as if she was breathing in Aiko's scent. Aiko pretended not to notice and drew back, giving them all a smile. "Well, I'll be seeing you." She waved them off, and tried to pretend that they didn't all know that this was possibly goodbye. This was the first time that Konoha had undergone a full evacuation since… Well, since Aiko was born, the night that Konoha lost over half their civilian population, she noted with a little irony. She knew she was hardly responsible for that, and probably hadn't influenced whatever had gone wrong with Akatsuki that made Tsunade fear for Konoha, but it sure felt like a correlation.

She shook the thought off as morbid nonsense and made her way to the central tower to report back to Tsunade.

There was quite a line that indicated that she was far from being the only person to be referred to report to the top. Shizune was the one who eventually flagged her into the waiting room, and pulled her aside. "Aiko, how are you doing?"

A bit bemused, she took the concern for what it was and let the older woman coddle her a bit. Shizune probably just needed something to do with herself, and if that meant Aiko had to tolerate having her hair petted, she would valiantly take that sacrifice for the team. She certainly didn't close her eyes to enjoy it for more than a minute, and she _definitely_ didn't nudge her head into Shizune's hand. Nope.

"Aiko," Jiraiya called out stridently, clapping a hand on her shoulder as he padded in the office. She jumped a bit, surprised, but didn't have the heart to glare at him for playing tricks when she saw how tired he seemed. "Come in, little frog."

Her eye twitched.

' _I'll take it,_ ' she decided, reminding herself that she didn't particularly want to be waiting all day and Jiraiya was her ticket into that office.

Jiraiya pushed open the door and strode in without appearing to even see the alarmed and disgruntled looks on Tsunade and Nara Shikaku's faces. Aiko trailed in his wake, counting that his bulk would protect her from anything Tsunade may decide to throw. Shizune snorted but trotted in behind them, conscientiously pulling the door shut.

"Any news, hime?"

That was when Tsunade threw something. Aiko didn't quite catch what it was, but it exploded into hundreds of shards of glass against the back wall. Ever so slowly, Jiraiya put his hands up.

The Hokage huffed. "ANBU, sweep that up."

Aiko took a moment to be glad she wasn't the one on duty right now. That was an undignified use of an elite operative.

"Sorry, pervert," Tsunade said, actually sounding a bit remorseful. "Yes and no. No news about our mysterious Akatsuki leader. None of our teams have reported since the initial check-in."

No one breathed.

"Yeah," Tsunade said dully. "That's what I thought too. Hatake at least would have the sense to keep reporting, so they've either been separated or have gotten busy."

"Either way, that's probably bad news," Jiraiya finished lowly. He ducked his head. "Shit, shit, shit."

Aiko couldn't breathe. She couldn't seem to do anything to slow her heartbeat, either, which was now obnoxiously loud in her ears. She snapped out of it when Mitsuo nudged his head against her hip. "Tsunade-sama? I could go check in with Naruto."

She had done a bad job of disguising her eagerness.

"No." Tsunade shook her head. "Not a chance. If they needed an extraction, they would have signaled you. We aren't going to let one of our few Jounin in the village go traipsing off at a time like this. You can go if one of them signals you, but we're going to have to trust that whatever is going on is under their control."

"But that-"

"I said no." Tsunade gave her a pitying look. "They're fine, I know it. They're probably fighting or something, or hell, they got caught up and away from a senior operative who would know to remind them to report in."

That… did sound an awful lot like Naruto and Sasuke. But wouldn't Karin keep them out of trouble?

Even Jiraiya looked at her strangely when she slapped her forehead and muttered, "Stupid, stupid, stupid thought." At least no one commented.

* * *

"One of them is away from the others," Karin confided, shaking her hair out of her face. It took Yamato a moment to catch on to her meaning.

"Sent to intercept us?" He tensed.

"No," she said placidly. "Actually, I think we can safely say that whoever is using this water jutsu now isn't a tracker or sensor at all. They seem to have no idea we're here. I was actually thinking that it might be a good idea to pick off this straggler before we go charging into the headquarters. There's four of them around. I wouldn't pick that fight until at least another team catches up with us."

Yamato outright rolled his eyes at her conscientious tone. He wasn't going to be fooled again, no matter how responsible she seemed. It was a lie.

Still.

"Sound strategy. Update the other teams," he ordered.

' _Oh, so now they listen to me,_ ' he grumbled internally as the group came to an obedient halt and Karin called on a serpent with obnoxiously vibrant blue scales. She exchanged whispers with it for a few minutes and gave it a cuddle before she dismissed the snake.

He intentionally didn't think too deeply about what that meant about how she could use snakes for spying. The idea that she had managed to get one to the other teams without anyone noticing was less than soothing.

"Why would one of them be alone?" Naruto asked, shifting a little uneasily. "That doesn't make sense. I've never heard of an Akatsuki being spotted alone."

"He needed to go on an ice cream run," Sasuke guessed, stretching his arms and running his fingers through handsigns to keep them loose.

"That's probably it," Karin said dryly, securing her glasses at the top of her nose. "He's going to a populated area, in any case. There aren't any shinobi around, so it could be a merchant area."

About fifteen minutes later, she changed her opinion. Karin's voice was strained when she called out. "Hey, guys? We're dealing with someone violent and opportunistic."

There was a moment of silence. "Karin, they're Akatsuki," Naruto explained kindly. "They're all violent and opportunistic. That's why they're missing nin."

"I know that, tofu-brain," she snapped back. Her tone was missing any venom, however. "I mean that I think this person is sneaking around behind Akatsuki's back." She sucked on her teeth for a moment before reluctantly adding, "I would say that the enemy of my enemy is my friend, except I don't want anyone who sneaks out to kill civilians coming to my birthday parties."

Yamato blinked. "Yes, that sounds like someone who needs to be put down," he agreed. Akatsuki really didn't seem to have high standards for behavior. Anyone who couldn't meet their standards really couldn't be considered even a temporary ally.

"Well, in other news, Kakashi and Genma are headed directly for us," Karin added optimistically. She gave a little cough and exchanged a guilty look with her comrades. "So… maybe we should get to work? I'm sure this guy won't expect us to have reinforcements."

' _Is their brilliant plan really to hope that Kakashi will get too caught up to tear them a new one?_ ' Yamato thought incredulously.

Once they got within about a mile of their target, any one of them could have led the group to his location. None of them were trackers by any means, but the blood smears, broken bodies, and strange circles on the ground painted a vivid picture of the carnage that had gone before.

"What do you think those circles are for?" Yamato mused, unsettled. He held a hand up to signal the group to stop for a moment to gather intel and cautiously examined one from a distance. This was the third they had seen. Clearly, it was important somehow.

Naruto squinted at it, and cocked his head like a bird. "Ah…" he scratched his head. "I wasn't exactly the most diligent fuinjutsu student, but I'm pretty sure that there is a sympathetic link of some kind. Maybe for long distance communication?"

The group as a whole gave the scene a dubious look.

"Did he stop to call his mother before or after he gutted that woman with what appears to have been a blunt trowel?" Sasuke asked sardonically.

The blond flushed. "If you can do better, I'd like to see it," he snapped hotly.

Yamato raised a calming hand. "There's a lot of blood inside the circles," he pointed out. "But they're all free of bodies. What happens to those bodies? Clearly, this person hasn't been tidying up as he goes."

Naruto hummed through closed lips for a second, and carefully picked his way a little closer—close enough to lean over the line and sniff at the blood inside. He swiveled around and went from body to body.

' _He's comparing scent samples,'_ Yamato realized, impressed. Had Kakashi trained him in that, or was his nose just that good? That should be insanely difficult to do in the rain.

"Are you finding anything?" Sasuke asked after a few minutes of picking through gore. Naruto shook his head.

"No, none of them match. Just a second…" he backtracked several blocks to try again with the next circle- and stiffened. "This is a match for the other circle," he called out. His forehead creased. "That's weird. Why would he drag one body around to bleed it again and again?" When none of the other corpses turned up a match, he shook his head helplessly and held up his palms in confusion. "I got nothing, guys," he admitted.

"Maybe it's something special about the blood in that body, then," Sasuke theorized. "I mean, that's the blood the circles are written with, right? It must tie in to some jutsu that he used to do this." He gestured broadly at the fourteen bodies they had come across so far.

"I think it might be best if we don't let him illustrate," Yamato pointed out dryly. "Fight him from a distance, and make sure he can't get a chance to make one of these things. He's been killing civilians—he might be replenishing something, or he might just be insane. In either case, we have no idea if this jutsu would work against a relatively competent shinobi."

There was a brief moment where the teenagers exchanged glances, wondering who among them was merely 'relatively competent'.

When they set off running again, it only took about five minutes to pinpoint where their opponent was. The sounds of screams were a pretty good clue. He probably sensed them arriving, because the last died off into a gargle just as the four cleared the building blocking what visibility was available through the heavy rain.

"Hello, heathens!" Hidan shouted cheerily, straightening to stare. He was outright dripping with blood. Where it came from was hard to tell—Yamato didn't spot any open wounds. "I'll kill you in a fucking minute, just hold on." He convulsed in a disturbingly sensual way, panting and licking his lips.

Sasuke grunted. "This guy again?" He closed his eyes as if praying for strength, but they were red when he opened them again.

' _At least one of them is taking this seriously.'_

"That is physically impossible." Sasuke flung a single shuriken directly into the mass of Hidan's body. The missing nin just blinked down at the metal sticking out of his chest.

"Are you done then, princess numbnuts?" Hidan raised an eyebrow, and carelessly ripped out the weapon. He let it fall to the ground. His eyes widened in recognition when he looked back at Sasuke. "Hey! You're the fuckin' douche who-"

"Well, I guess that means it's not a genjutsu," Sasuke sighed, looking genuinely disappointed. "Do you have a twin?"

' _I hate everyone,'_ Yamato thought morosely.

Hidan blinked in disbelief. "No, dumbshit," he sneered. "Honestly, what kind of-" He purpled when Naruto cut him off, staring indignantly at the talking Konoha nin.

"Sasuke, you can't beat him by telling him exactly why he's a medical impossibility," Naruto rasped, looking pained. "He knows, and he just doesn't care. It's his blood he's been using for those fuinjutsu circles, by the way."

Lovely. Their opponent was nearly indestructible and used his own body parts as fuel for his jutsu.

The Uchiha gave an offended sniff. "I suppose you just didn't do a good job of killing him, idiot. Karin and I will do a better job."

"You were the one who tried to smash him," Naruto argued.

Yamato had heard quite enough, so he clapped his hands together and allowed his ninjutsu to explode outward, reaching and grabbing for their opponent with hundreds of vines and off-shoot branches. The missing nin gave a high, hysterical laugh, and leapt on top of the construction to race towards Yamato. Hidan angled his scythe behind him as he dodged the reaching branches—almost certainly so that he could swing it forward to take off Yamato's head.

He clearly wasn't expecting the clang of his precious weapon getting caught up in Karin's misfired chakra chains. It ripped out of his grasp and soared a good forty feet.

"Oops," she said sheepishly, adjusting her glasses. "I was trying to kill him." The chains almost immediately gave a jerk and reeled back in towards her. The shriek she gave implied that she hadn't consciously expected that.

Hidan hadn't stopped running, which meant his momentum was all forwards. He crouched and switched direction, flipping backwards and pushing off the side of the wood.

' _He won't abandon his scythe,_ ' Yamato realized. That was sloppy. A shinobi should never be so dependent on one weapon that they had to fetch it after it was lost in a fight.

Sasuke had clearly been thinking the same thing. He darted forward in an attempt to intercept the missing nin and missed Hidan by half a foot. Yamato tried not to grimace. None of the three teens had the speed to compete with S class fighters in direct combat. They would have to be more intelligent than their opponent instead. They still had the advantage of numbers.

He abandoned his connection to the wood pile he had been forming and used shunshin to cut Hidan off, already wielding a four foot long branch again. He swung and used it to viciously bat at the missing nin's ribs, audibly cracking at least two, but then he had to let go of the branch and duck under and away from a punch.

The Akatsuki didn't look very amiable or collected at this point. His teeth were bared and his eyes crazed as he traded blows. Or rather, as he attempted to wail on Yamato, who blocked or dodged the attacks. There wasn't time for Yamato to get in his own hits.

' _Damn,'_ he winced, using his forearms to deflect a high kick and attempting to twist away to the side. _'It's like trying to get a hit in on Kakashi-senpai when he's not feeling generous.'_

In other words, that wasn't good for their chances of winning this fight through conventional means. He _would_ disengage from taijutsu—but that would mean allowing Hidan to pick up his weapon of choice.

A kunai with an attached seal fluttering at the handle landed blade down into the dirt not four feet from Yamato. He understood instantly. With a renewed effort, he sped and worked his muscles as much as was humanly possible, trying to distract Hidan from the three other knives that impacted the dirt at positions around them. He'd never seen Naruto set up a trap like that before, but the blond had been gifted an awful lot of free time lately and seen his sister use seals on kunai. He just hoped they weren't explosives, the conventional use of seals on kunai.

So it really shouldn't have been surprising when the fifth kunai established a perfect pentagram around the tussling Jounin and immediately fizzled to life, electric blue chakra heating the air. Hidan's eyes widened, now that he saw the trap—but Yamato blocked him, refusing to let the other man leave in the instant it was possible, even though that meant being caught himself—

And then motion was cut off. Naruto probably hadn't had friendly fire in mind when he had designed those particular paralysis seals, because his body was screaming with pain. Yamato nearly tilted over, unbalanced as he was from his last-moment lunge to block Hidan's escape. If he was able to think, he might have been grateful for that bit of luck, because falling into one of the lines of superheated chakra sparking lines across the ground would have been incredibly painful.

Hidan was standing on one of the intersecting lines that made the pentagram. Stupid shock was plastered across his features.

White hot pain made it hard for Yamato to register what was happening and how long he had been caught, but he managed to pay attention when Sasuke painstakingly directed little flares of the tiniest Katon jutsu Yamato had ever seen him make to melt the skin off of Hidan's flesh wherever he could without disturbing the chakra lines or allowing the flame to lick at Yamato's flesh. Sweat beaded down the Mokuton user's forehead, and he didn't know if it was from the heat or the pain.

He appreciated the logic there. If Naruto just released the fuinjutsu, they would be back to where they had been before. The three outside couldn't step into the five-point seal, and they couldn't disrupt it without freeing Hidan. They had to do as much damage as possible to the trapped Akatsuki so that once the fuinjutsu was released, they could go in for the kill.

Yamato hoped someone had a plan for that, because if burning the man to ashes and burying him after breaking all his bones didn't work, he didn't know what to do.

If he could have, he would have cringed away when their plan became clear. Karin's chakra chains were waveringly hovering above the seal—she was going to snatch Hidan as soon as Naruto released the fuinjutsu. It was a good plan. It would have been a better plan if she'd had better control and more than about two minutes to perfect the use of her chains. Yamato had been involved in Aiko's training with her chains—chains that were much smaller and suited for maneuvering, but had still resulted in unintended destruction and mis-firing again and again and again.

Karin's face was painted with the strain that holding the chains still caused her.

' _If she accidentally kills me with those, at least I'll know she was trying not to,_ ' Yamato thought inanely.

And then the blue chakra was gone and several hundred pounds of chakra metal barreled down on top of Hidan. He managed to make it a foot—not far enough to escape the coils of mint-or-maybe-seafoam that coiled around him like a writhing mass of snakes. Hidan was almost completely buried. "Fetid sack of weasels-" he roared, and then coughed as he was cut off by the squeal of metal. Three-legged whore's ugly sis-" CLANG. It almost sounded like the contents of a kitchen had been put into a big tin and shaken, interspersed with occasional cursing.

And it was all far too close for comfort. Yamato was desperately coaxing life into his muscles, which seemed to have been frozen and strained by the continuous electrification, when an _actual_ group of writhing snakes darted into the chakra chains. He blinked, and realized only later that sheer terror had allowed him to dart twenty feet away to stand by the three teens.

' _Or maybe not,_ ' he noted, disoriented enough that he only now realized Sasuke had wrapped an arm around his waist and leapt away like he was carrying a stuffed bear instead of a full grown man. And the grip around his ribs hurt a little bit, actually. He wiggled, and Sasuke let go. He immediately knelt and ran a glowing hand down either side of Yamato's right calf.

' _Ah, right, a medic,'_ Yamato thought, vaguely pleased to have remembered that. He had no idea what Sasuke was doing, but the little seizures going on in his muscles seemed to be calming. That was nice.

He swiveled enough to keep an eye on what was happening with their opponent, but it quickly became clear that Karin had the situation under control. Hidan's cursing quickly turned to incoherent sputtering as he was bitten over and over again. Bones cracked as the chains scraped against each other, twitching and jerking out of Karin's conscious control, but the snakes were hardly impeded. They darted through and around chains, tearing little holes in the Akatsuki's flesh and leaving behind a dozen kinds of poison.

"I've always thought she needed something to push snakes from 'horrifying' to 'mindlessly terrifying beyond reason,'" a very familiar voice mused drolly.

Naruto eeped and stood up straight. He gave a very fake laugh, scratching at his head. "Kakashi-sensei!"

"You assholes are in trouble, you know that," Genma huffed, glaring at the group as a whole. The pink on his cheeks implied that Kakashi had been pushing a truly cruel pace.

* * *

Yamato had gratefully relinquished what semblance of command he'd had back to Kakashi. The senior operative had barely glanced at Hidan before he came up with at least a temporary method of dealing with the quickly regenerating Akatsuki. Even the poison had been wearing off with inhuman speed, so Karin had been quick to follow his instructions to hack of Hidan's head and seal it away ("Your kill, your responsibility," Kakashi had pointed out).

The body they left like so much twitching, scorched meat.

The well-deserved ass-kicking they merited for running off was delayed by the arrival of Gai's team, who were far too cheerful for the situation.

Kakashi tried to frown at them, but couldn't quite manage. The moment that he had touched back down in camp to see scuffles in the dirt, wood splinters, and none of his charges had been terrifying. His heart had stopped, until he took a deep breath and realized that there were no foreign scents in the area. No, the fight that had happened had been between the team.

And that pissed him off to no end. Not only was that an abandonment of duty, it was reckless endangerment of each other and the other teams out here who had been expecting them to do their jobs professionally.

"Yamato, report," he clipped out. The smile on Gai's face dimmed, and he ushered his team a polite distance away. They were almost certainly still listening in anyway.

The ANBU straightened, though his legs were shaking from prolonged electrocution. "After you left, Karin, Naruto, and Sasuke announced their intention to enter Ame after Akatsuki," he confessed. "I attempted to subdue them. When it became clear that was beyond my capabilities, I abandoned the attempt and escorted them instead in hopes of mitigating the danger they would find. Karin led us to an Akatsuki. We deduced that he uses some sort of fuinjutsu to establish a sympathetic link with an unknown person and determined that our best course of action was to separate him from any such link. I engaged the target in taijutsu while Naruto set up a paralysis-"

"That's enough."

"Um," Karin started nervously.

"I don't want to hear it," Kakashi snapped, cutting her off with a sideways hand motion. "I'm disappointed in all three of you, and fully intend have you marked up for in-field insubordination. This isn't a game! You didn't just endanger yourselves. Our responsibility was to maintain the cordon around Ame so that no one could get out and go to Konoha."

"That's not going to happen," Naruto burst out impatiently. "We've been doing this for months, sensei! If they wanted to leave, they would have."

"Yes," a cool voice agreed.

"That's what I was trying to say," Karin meekly squeaked as the assembled party turned to look at the man standing a mere forty feet away, watching them with impassive red eyes. Itachi had a hand tucked inside his cloak, as if he thought he wouldn't even need it for this fight.

"Otouto, are you still so reckless?" Sasuke turned dangerously pale, eyes darting between the large party of Konoha nin and his older brother. Kakashi didn't breathe, positioning his muscles so that he could dart between the two at a moment's notice. Sasuke couldn't fight Itachi off. He wasn't strong enough. "Has your pursuit of vengeance made you impulsive? A pity." Itachi blinked slowly. Unlike the rest of them, the pouring rain hardly made him look silly or messy. It sleeked his bangs out to a ridiculous luster and trailed down his face like tears.

Sasuke shook his head, but it didn't look like shock at seeing his brother. "I won't fight you."

Kakashi stopped. That hadn't been what he had expected. If the uncharacteristic shock that crossed Itachi's face was any indication, he hadn't expected that either. Had Sasuke been struck by cowardice, a bout of pacifism, or just madness?

"I don't blame you at all," Sasuke said quietly, raising his unarmed hands and stepping closer to his shell-shocked brother.

Madness, then. He bent his knees, readying his weight to slip forwards.

"Don't touch him!" Sasuke snarled, holding out his left arm like a clothesline.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked, sounding very small and confused. Kakashi couldn't blame him. The boy looked like he was possessed or fevered.

The younger Uchiha brother shook his head, never taking his eyes off of Itachi. "You killed them on Konoha's orders."

And the world tilted. Kakashi slowly raised a hand to his covered eye, disoriented and frightened on a visceral level he couldn't articulate.

A terrible fear shone on Itachi's face. The increase in his breathing was visible even from such a distance.

"I work with Tsunade, of course I found out," Sasuke continued gently, sounding as if he was trying to tame a wild animal. "The clan- our father was planning a coup. And so you stopped it. How could I blame you for that?"

"I killed them all," Itachi croaked, composure completely lost.

Kakashi thought he was going to be sick. Oh god, it was true. How hadn't he known this? How had anyone kept this secret? Konoha had murdered an entire clan—one of their clans, dozens of their shinobi—for the ambitions of a few men? Infants, he remembered with a delirious heat. He had been one of the first responders. The first body he had been had been an infant skewered by an ANBU short sword through her soft skull. The corpse had been cross-eyed, as if she'd seen the blade approaching her forehead. Konoha had been responsible for that?

"Death to traitors," Sasuke purred, taking a step forward.

Inanely, Kakashi thought he looked more like a large feline than a young man at that point. For a moment, he was all glowing eyes and flowing grace instead of the pale skin and vaguely hostile silences that usually characterized Sasuke's presence.

He pitied Itachi. Whatever the older brother had planned, it hadn't been this. Sasuke wheeled around, suddenly furious at the silent gawkers. "What are you looking at?" he bit out. "I'm not ashamed!" And he looked like he really believed what he was saying, or that he had convinced himself he did, in any case. How had Kakashi never noticed that Sasuke was such a raw, festering wound? He had seemed to be so much better in recent years than the dark little boy who had been assigned to his genin team.

That was hardly a healthy response. Had Sasuke forgotten all the innocents that had died that night, or did he just think the sacrifice was worth it to weed out the guilty?

Naruto cleared his throat. "If Sasuke says you're fine, then you're fine." His voice was a little shaky at the beginning, but steadied. "So why are we wasting time standing around when we could go kick Akatsuki's asses? Looks like we have an awesome source of information now."

Itachi was still completely wrong-footed. He tore his eyes away from Sasuke to survey the group at large. Kakashi had no idea what Itachi read from his face, but Gai managed to look approving, and his little ducklings didn't seem hostile to the older Uchiha either.

"I suppose I have no choice," he said slowly. "I had not been planning on revealing my affiliations." Itachi shifted slightly. "I cannot return to Konoha," he pointed out. "This information cannot leave Ame."

"Tough," Sasuke barked out. "I'm not letting you martyr yourself." He crossed the remaining distance and balled the front of Itachi's cloak up in his fist, yanking his older brother down. "Five of the clan heads already know. If I bring you back in, no one is going to say a damn thing."

"This civilians-"

"Don't pay that much attention," he countered, clearly exasperated. "They find all shinobi frightening, what's one more? Anyone who asks can be told it's above their pay grade and to mind their own damn business. Who cares what they think?"

Kakashi had a sudden and terrible understanding of exactly what kind of Hokage Sasuke would make- a man who answered to no one. He would either run Konoha into the ground or make it the strongest village there had ever been.

Itachi jolted straight up a full inch when Sasuke growled and began shaking him.

' _And now he looks like Tsunade,'_ Kakashi noted.

"And what the hell have you been doing to your lungs, moron?" Itachi seemed to be on the verge of pinching himself to see if he could wake up from the surreal situation he found himself in. Kakashi wholly sympathized. "They sound awful," Sasuke continued, whacking his brother's chest and lighting his hand up with medical chakra. "Stop struggling, it won't help you."

"Maybe now is not the time for that," Kakashi pointed out dryly. He needed to get back to a place that made sense. If Itachi really was an inside man in Akatsuki, then their chances of routing the organization were considerably less laughable. "Itachi, what's the situation?"

The older Uchiha brother had only served under Kakashi for a short time, and it had been many years ago. But he straightened to report as if he'd last done so yesterday, ignoring the scowling teen hanging off his cloak. "The base is nearly empty," he shared impassively. "Konan-san has been left in command. When she saw that Hidan had crept out of the base in search of sacrifices, she sent me out in search of him. Hidan had been forbidden to harm the citizens of Ame, but insistent that he needed to serve his god on pain of losing his power and favor. His departure once unsupervised was inevitable. The leader, Pein-san, has departed the country. He charged Kisame with keeping up appearances. By now, Kisame will be tiring, having used at least fourteen percent of his chakra in flooding the country. Zetsu and Tobi have left the country in pursuit of a jinchuuriki."

"Tobi?" Naruto interrupted, frowning. He didn't seem to notice that Sasuke protectively tightened his grip on his older brother, which was probably pretty uncomfortable for Itachi. "The one in the orange mask?"

Itachi seemed surprised. "You have encountered him, then? He is not what he seems."

"I haven't," Naruto admitted easily. "He was in Konoha last week. He killed an ANBU and harassed Aiko."

There was just a little too much answering silence.

"Why?" Naruto demanded, stepping forward aggressively and pushing Sasuke aside slightly. He glared fearlessly into Itachi's eyes. "What's up with this guy?"

"I cannot begin to fathom what it is that has caused him to focus on your sister," Itachi said slowly. Kakashi instantly identified the statement as a lie, though he wasn't sure why. No- he did, it was an excessively wordy denial and the pitch was too steady. Textbook sign of a lie. Poor Itachi was clearly as awkward as ever. "But he is no ordinary man. Uchiha Madara hides behind that mask. He has prolonged his lifespan by possessing fallen Uchiha."

' _That's foul. One of Konoha's founders is now a carrion beast? He should have been long dead.'_

Revolted, Naruto twitched. That probably brought Orochimaru to mind. If there was anyone team seven hated, it was Orochimaru, despite being dead. "What would he want from her?" the blond asked in a small voice.

Itachi shook his head pityingly. "I cannot guess. But know that Madara is the true power behind Akatsuki."

"All the more reason that we should break his toys," Hyuuga Neji pointed out. Kakashi suppressed a twitch. He'd all but forgotten that Gai's team was there, which was a remarkable achievement. Who knew that Gai knew how to be quiet?

"I agree with my student!" Gai bellowed, punching the air in an enthusiastic blur of motion. "For Konoha's glory, the safety of our precious ones, and the joy of a good fight, we must take the fight to Akatsuki!"

Kakashi had the distinct impression that he had lost control of the situation. When Itachi looked to him for help, he raised a shoulder. "Oh, what the hell," he muttered. "Uchiha-san, do you believe we can take the base at the moment?"

Itachi glanced over the group. "Is this all of our resources? Can you contact the other teams?"

Karin raised a hand. "I'm in constant contact," she admitted with a sheepish glance toward Kakashi. "They may be slightly under the impression that I did so on Hatake-sensei's orders. In any case, three other teams are close. Sabaku no Temari's, for one. The other two are from Kumo and I don't know them."

Itachi hesitated for a moment. "Kumo nin may attack me on sight," he admitted. "If you think that the Suna team will listen to you, their addition may be enough. I suspect that Kakuzu will be the first to notice a party approaching the base. He may attempt to stop us, or he may flee. He is less motivated by idealism than he is by self-preservation and profit. If he sees no benefit to engaging us with such odds, Kakazu will abandon the base."

Kakashi shifted uncomfortably. That was remarkably cold and disloyal, even for a criminal.

"He possesses five hearts that allow him to utilize all nature transformations in conjunction with Earth Grudge Fear. They must all be destroyed in order to defeat him," Itachi continued. He blinked, as if re-orienting to change topics. "Konan will fight. She is immensely powerful and regenerates until she is out of chakra. Her ninjutsu has no weakness that I am aware of. She is a weapons specialist."

Gai's kunoichi perked up at that. Kakashi was still remembering everything he knew about Earth Grudge Fear. It was a kinjutsu that allowed the user to manipulate threads, but he had never seen it used before.

' _Probably very versatile,_ ' he decided grimly _. 'He might be the most dangerous in a one on one fight._ '

"Kisame is the only other Akatsuki in the base," Itachi finished, sounding uncomfortable to Kakashi's trained ear.

' _That was his partner, wasn't it?_ ' he mused. Kakashi sharply examined Itachi, wondering if that attachment would lead him to sabotage an attempt to kill Kisame. Another man might have thought that Itachi's murder of his clan demonstrated that he was willing to put the mission ahead of emotional attachments. Kakashi was less certain. The fact that Itachi had skewered babies but left Sasuke alive… no, that spoke more to an emotionally motivated set of priorities.

"He will have less than his full chakra capacity due to the prolonged rain jutsu, but his reserves are still formidable. I would not engage him lightly. He possesses the strongest of the swords of the seven swordsmen, Samehada, which he uses to siphon the energy of his opponents."

Karin shrunk back, looking slightly queasy.

"Thank you, Uchiha-san." Kakashi absently fluffed up his hair and surveyed his resources, thinking. "Karin, you'll be staying out of the action as much as possible. You are invaluable for coordinating the other units. Are they approaching?" At her nod, he gestured for her to back away. "Tell all of them but Sabaku no Temari's team to form a smaller cordon in Ame," he ordered. "Make sure it's as efficient as possible, but keep them at a distance. Tell me immediately if the Akatsuki leader returns." She nodded and quickly backed away, summoning a violently purple snake.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes slightly at the rest of his troops. "Gai and Lee are optimal opponents for Kisame," he decided. "Since you do not rely on ninjutsu, he cannot weaken you by draining chakra. Tenten would be valuable there as well, but I suspect she will be needed to counter Konan along with Genma as our weapons specialists. Neji will join them. If we fight Kakazu, Itachi and myself will lead Yamato, Naruto, and Sasuke. Sabaku no Temari is a powerful wind user… but we already have Naruto," he muttered, discarding the idea of using her to counter Kakazu's hearts.

' _Sasuke has powerful fire, as does Itachi. I have lightning cutter and water ninjutsu. Actually…_ ' He squinted at the blond Uzumaki. _'Has he-'_

"Naruto, did you finish your elemental transformation for Rasengan?" He relaxed slightly at the confirmatory nod. "Good," Kakashi mumbled. He'd been right to decide that they didn't absolutely need Temari for that fight, then. They still didn't have a powerful earth user that he knew of. Yamato was passable with earth ninjutsu, of course, but that was a last resort. Would wood be suitable for countering earth ninjutsu? That was where Yamato was truly an expert.

"Itachi, do you have any earth ninjutsu sufficiently destructive to use against Kakazu?"

The older Uchiha brother silently shook his head.

' _Damn,'_ Kakashi cursed internally. _'I don't either. This would be easier if Sabaku was bringing her youngest brother. Baki-san is wind-natured as well. I don't know what Kankuro-san is… His puppet jutsu might be helpful for countering Kakuzu's strings, however.'_

Well, there was more than one way to skin a cat. They didn't have to counter all the nature transformations in order to defeat Kakazu. That would just make the fight easier. He was still spoiled for resources.

"We will wait for the Suna team," he decided out loud. "Two powerful wind users will be a significant asset in countering an aerial weapon specialist. Yamato, I changed my mind on your assignment. You will assist Gai and Lee."

He might have Sasuke switch to that fight as well, if the taijutsu beasts needed help, since Sasuke was a bit redundant when they already had Itachi. But for the moment he would prefer not to separate the Uchiha. Sasuke had some level of emotional control over his older brother, which would be an untenable loss. Kakashi hadn't forgotten what it was like to fight Itachi.

Speaking of which, it was probably a terrible idea to confront the younger man. But Kakashi had never been a coward.

"Uchiha-san, may I speak with you?"

Sasuke gave him a long, steady look that probed for his intentions, but Kakashi kept his expression and posture blank. The teen gave a nod—clearly having decided to trust him with his brother. Kakashi felt oddly flattered.

"Of course," Itachi murmured, moving to stand at his side. Kakashi glanced at the rest of the group- who were not doing a particularly good job of faking disinterest- and then led the younger man further off.

Uchiha Itachi was an incredibly valuable asset and ally. Confronting him might make him bristle and lash out. But Kakashi had never been accused of diplomacy before. Why start now?

"Why did you lie?" Kakashi didn't bother to pretend at indifference, knowing that Itachi would be able to read him. "You lied to Naruto about why Tobi might be interested in Aiko. Tell me the truth."

He actually began to feel uncomfortable under the long stare that Itachi leveled on him. He was searching for something.

' _Was confronting him a mistake?'_

Itachi closed his eyes and then opened them to look away in the distance. Kakashi bristled at the dismissive body language. He had to force his muscles not to tense.

"I believe," Itachi said slowly, "That if it is wise for you to have that information, you are already aware and merely attempting to ascertain whether or not I am similarly aware. If, in the other case, you are genuinely unaware of the appeal your kunoichi has for one such as Tobi, it is because she has had judged for whatever reason that it would be unwise to share that information. I would be remiss to make such a decision in regards to a situation in which I am out of my depth."

' _What.'_ Kakashi thought flatly. It took only a moment to parse through that. The insinuation that Aiko didn't trust him made him strangely angry. Not with her- with Itachi. Why would Itachi know something Aiko wouldn't even share with him? Had he forced her to tell him when she was with Akatsuki?

"You are uninformed," Itachi observed dispassionately. "Unfortunate. I had hoped that you were aware so that I was not possibly causing disruption by sharing more than was wise. I advise that you do not further investigate this line of inquiry." He breathed out slowly. "I do not understand fully myself," Itachi admitted in a lower tone of voice. "But even the little I know is enough to be very dangerous for your kunoichi."

Kakashi didn't trust Itachi. He didn't trust Itachi in general and he didn't trust Itachi to have anyone's specific interests in mind behind Sasuke's and his own. But he knew he wasn't going to get anything more than that.

Still, what was that about? Was the danger in something Aiko knew, or was it something Aiko _was_? Itachi had seemed to imply the second case, but that didn't make sense. Everyone already knew about Aiko's best skills, and her parentage was no longer a secret.

 _'She had to have stumbled on some intelligence that puts her at risk by making her a possible threat to Madara's plans,'_ Kakashi decided uneasily. The conclusion was dissatisfying, but he couldn't think of another explanation of that conversation that fit.


	100. Peaches and Weasels

 

* * *

Kakuzu gave a stretch through his shoulders, luxuriating in the uncommon silence.

He wasn't an idiot. He knew perfectly well that the quiet meant that the simpleton had left. That was why he had hidden in the basement bathroom so that Konan couldn't find him. Someone else could retrieve the moron while he enjoyed his respite. Hidan was a plague, and he didn't know what he'd done that had caused Leader-sama to inflict the idiot on him.

_'_ _Except that I killed all my previous partners,_ ' he noted fairly.

That seemed a little petty of Pein, but Kakuzu was too busy to care. There were much more important issues at stake.

"I don't see how we can possibly make up for this lapse in productivity," he noted darkly, using his knees as a desk for the notebook on his lap. Writing out the problems and possible solutions made him feel better, even as he reaffirmed that Akatsuki's finances were taking an enormous hit.

They had only been taking domestic missions for over a month now. He didn't see why Pein had chosen to send Tobi and Zetsu out on another jinchuuriki mission now, when they desperately needed to replenish their finances.

_'_ _It is possibly an attempt to lower our living costs,_ ' he mused. _'_ _If Tobi were to perish in pursuit of a jinchuuriki, we could eliminate the budget allocation for ice cream altogether.'_

Tobi wasn't the only one who ate it, of course, but Itachi and Konan never went out of their way to bring it home either.

That made him feel a bit better about his participation in this organization. Pein's priorities were strange, but he at least had some semblance of business sense and the wisdom to step back and allow more competent individuals free reign when appropriate. Of course, he also extended too much freedom to touchy-feely, sentimental lunatics like Hidan, so the trait was still problematic.

Kakuzu glowered at the bathroom mirror, and then wondered why it was positioned to face the toilet. He looked down at his lap instead, suddenly disquieted. Why was he still in here? Surely Konan had noticed Hidan's unsubtle escape and taken care of the matter herself. He stuck his pencil behind his ears, washed his hands out of habit and conscientiousness despite not having used the facilities, and kept an ear out for the incoherent babbling that would undoubtedly accompany Hidan's return.

But he didn't hear anything like that.

_'_ _He's still not here?_ ' Kakuzu grunted, both satisfied and unimpressed with Konan's lack of efficiency. She was a terrible manager.

The stairs up to the first floor were rickety and old, in no small part due to the fact that Kakuzu had shot down the proposal to replace them himself. He considered it a good trade. They were placed on the opposite end of the long hallway that his room was. Kakuzu covered ground towards his private space quickly, hoping to avoid seeing anyone else.

And then the back door opened. His mood instantly plummeted. So the idiot was back already? He turned, ready to cut off Hidan's head just for the principle of the thing- and stopped.

The gaggle of offensively bright Konoha and Suna nin piling in the door like puppies fleeing the rain paused as well, with the notable exception of a blond with a stupid facial expression who pointed at him and shrieked something incoherent at a pitch that humans were not meant to communicate in.

Kakuzu made a quick count _. 'One, two… Four teams?_ ' He catalogued any who he recognized: Sharingan no Kakashi, a very valuable prize—ooh, the Senju woman's Uchiha pet, the beast of Konoha, the Kazekage's siblings, and…

Itachi.

_'_ _Not worth it,_ ' he decided instantly. His life was worth more than any one of those bounties. That didn't mean he would turn any one of them down, of course, but a 14 on 1 fight when he recognized several of his prospective opponents as S-class shinobi was a poor investment choice.

Of course, they were blocking the most convenient exit point…

He dropped into a low crouch, putting both his palms on the ground, and called on the earth underneath the base. It answered in a nearly instant roar, swelling up and bursting the floor open like a dead man's belly splitting in the sun.

Kakuzu dropped below, creating a tunnel outside the base and filling it as he went. He broke out of the dirt onto the surface within heartbeats and set off a dead sprint.

On one hand, he would have thought that Itachi at least would have had the reflexes to chase after him. On the other, perhaps he had overestimated their competency.

Earth was his primary affinity, after all, and he had been perfecting it for a very long time.

He would find Zetsu, he decided. Zetsu was Madara's servant. He would know what should be done. And it would be important to note that Itachi had turned traitor. Perhaps Itachi would kill Konan while he was at it, and no one would be able to hold him accountable for fleeing?

* * *

"Er," Kakashi said faintly, rubbing his eye and then opening it experimentally. "Did that old man in his pajamas really just tunnel out of here, or am I having a short stroke?"

He was having a harder time getting over the pajamas than that he'd run. Kakashi might have run if he'd seen such a large group of intruders waltz into a temporary base. (If it was Konoha, he would fight to the death, of course). But the pajamas? It was half past noon.

"That was Kakuzu," Itachi explained factually, gingerly stepping over the crack in the floor. "He prefers to be comfortable while he tabulates expenses."

"Of course he does," Kakashi muttered. "What was I thinking?"

_'_ _Well, Itachi was already right about one Akatsuki. He fled. That means there's only two of them to fight. Would it be worth it to chase after Kakuzu, or should I take that as luck? One S class shinobi on his own can be hunted and cornered at our leisure. Most of this group is powerful, but inexperienced. I don't like the idea of splitting to chase after him when we know that there are two difficult fights coming up here.'_

Kakashi warily examined the premises as he could see so far. The building was remarkably narrow. Hardly ideal conditions for an altercation, especially if he intended to use the advantage of numbers…

"Well, nice tour, thank you Itachi." Kakashi shooed the ninja who had crowded in behind him out. "Come on, get."

"What the hell are you doing?" Sabaku no Temari asked flatly, looking spectacularly unimpressed. He aimed an eye smile at her.

"I think we should have our friends come to us. It's rude to enter without knocking, after all. Don't crowd the doorstep." Once he had pushed the small mob far enough back, he nodded at Sasuke. "Why don't you knock?" he suggested generously.

Sasuke smirked unpleasantly. "Of course, Kakashi." He curled his hand into a fist and pulled it back, approaching the building at a jog. The momentum was probably unnecessary. Sasuke used it to leap, land feet-first on the side of the building, and crouch in a lightning-quick motion that brought his fist down by his right sandal. He kicked off at what seemed to be the exact moment that half the building folded inwards.

Rubble and dust flew out, instantly coating everyone who hadn't had the sense to stand behind someone taller in a layer of filth.

In other words, Itachi, Kakashi, Baki, and Genma exchanged various levels of amused glances while the less experienced ninja coughed and fanned frantically at their faces.

"Do you think they heard you?" Karin asked sarcastically, pulling her glasses off to wipe them on the underside of her shirt.

Abruptly, the rain stopped altogether.

_'_ _It definitely wasn't natural, then,'_

One minor mystery solved. Also, Akatsuki knew they were here.

"I could knock again," Sasuke half-threatened, half-grinned with the thrill of showing off in front of his brother.

"I think it served its purpose," Genma muttered, giving a loopy little grin to Yamato, who was sneezing pathetically and rubbing at his nose. The poor boy looked to be on the verge of a break down. He'd had a bad day.

"Karin, contact the teams in the direction that Kakuzu fled," Kakashi ordered. "Tell them who is coming and when he will arrive. Give them a rundown of his abilities and the option to engage or move out of his way, depending on whether they think they can defeat him without sustaining losses."

He hadn't judged that chasing Kakuzu would be a pointless waste of life for his team only to assume that it would be negligible for their nominal allies to lose people in the same pursuit. Even if Kakuzu had left in the direction of the Kumo teams.

The snake Karin summoned this time was much less conspicuous than his brightly scaled peers—tan and gold. Kakashi edged away subtly. That one he recognized. Karin lifted it closely to her lips as if she was about to kiss the top of its flat head and began to murmur to it.

The Suna nin looked similarly disquieted by the show of affection, but then, they probably recognized the species as fatally poisonous just as he did. It was native to the desert, after all.

He didn't actually notice Konan arrive. What he noticed was Baki shouting some bland code word that was apparently an order for Temari to pull the fan over her back and swing it from a low left position to a high right, buffeting what appeared to be a murderous flock of white butterflies off course.

That protocol had probably been for projectiles in general.

He still preferred to think they had a code that meant it was time to attack butterflies.

The woman herself flashed into sight, balancing lightly on top of the collapsed bunker wall. Her amber-orange eyes were directed at one man only.

"Itachi, I am disappointed," Konan said quietly. "Have you betrayed us so easily?"

"She's surprised? That's rather short sighted, considering she knows why he left Konoha," Hyuuga Neji muttered.

Kakashi had never before realized a Hyuuga could be funny. Judging by the disappointed look Gai leveled on his student, the green beast disagreed. Pity.

"We do not have to fight," Itachi said seriously.

Oh, to be so naïve.

Konan's eyes narrowed as if she agreed.

"Speak for yourself, Uchiha," Sabaku no Temari sneered, squinting up at Konan. "I owe grandmother here an ass-kicking. I lost my hotel deposit thanks to her!" Kankuro snorted, but moved into a ready stance as well. "Also she kidnapped Aiko from my room," Temari amended as an afterthought.

Naruto perked up. "What, this old lady?" he asked skeptically. "I expected you to look different. All Aiko said was that your makeup was horrible." He gave Konan a thin smile. "Temari's right. You do need an ass-kicking."

_'_ _That's not the plan,_ ' Kakashi thought, frustrated. Naruto wasn't suited to fight Konan at all. If he really wanted, he could pummel her on the way back to T and I. This fight had already been planned.

"Stick to the plan. Everyone else, back!" Kakashi barked out. He steadied Karin by her arm, as artificial winds picked up to a downright dangerous level while Temari and Baki started throwing out A and B class wind jutsu. The hurricane threatened to actually pick up Karin, by far the smallest member of their party. She made an aborted squeak, and latched onto Naruto's arm like a limpet while her clothes flapped in the wind, leaving her stomach bare. "Is Kisame approaching?"

Tenten actually speared a good twenty of Konan's projectiles mid air. Her glittering knives impacted the ground with a multitude of little 'shuk-shuk-shuk' sounds. Paper struggled futilely, trapped. Genma gave a low whistle- and then jerked forward to push her out of the path of a paper dragon the size of Mitsuo, catching its fangs with his short sword and ducking under the reach of its claws. Chakra threads wrapped around it—and then Kankuro cursed as the entire paper construction dissolved into individual sheets of paper. A good chunk of them sliced through Crow like the puppet was made of lukewarm butter.

"Karin," Kakashi reminded sharply. They couldn't afford to get distracted.

"Er-" Karin squeezed her eyes shut to concentrate, biting her lower lip. Something about the motion seemed odd, until he realized that she had used four teeth to do so. He was used to seeing Aiko pin her lip more delicately with just one tooth. "Yes," she concluded, opening her eyes and then blinking rapidly. She jerked her head to the right. "He's trying to sneak up to assess the situation," Karin assessed. "He masks his chakra really well, actually, but it's enormous."

"Wind blade!" Temari actually aimed her attack directly at Konan, who had apparently manifested wings in the time that Kakashi had looked away. The blue-haired woman appeared flustered. She didn't quite dodge in time, and the wind that caught her wing sent her spinning slightly. She shot straight upwards, and then came down like an avenging goddess, gathering what looking like starbursts of blades at the tip of each extended hand.

Kakashi suppressed the urge to merely nod at Karin for her report and tore his gaze away from the large-scale fight. "Good work," he grudgingly allowed. It wouldn't do to allow his irritation with the teens to prevent him from accurately assessing and rewarding their contributions.

And Karin really was proving her worth as a field shinobi.

_'_ _If I'm to be honest, she's more essential to this mission than I am,'_ he noted with no small amount of irony. She had the most direct access to information, after all. _'_ _If she were less inexperienced, maybe she should have been the one calling the shots.'_

"You are creepy, girl," a gravelly voice observed. Kisame pulled his bandage-wrapped sword off of his back and pointed it directly at Karin.

She gaped. "Me?" The indignant shriek hurt Kakashi's ears. He winced and leapt away, moving to a slightly safer distance. Not coincidentally, his new positioning also gave him a better view of the entire area, including the battle that was steadily pushing its way westward. "I'm creepy?" Karin slapped a hand to her chest.

"When it comes from the bipedal shark, it really means something," Naruto snickered, not hiding his laughter at his cousin's expense.

"What an UnYouthful thing to say to a lovely young lady in the springtime of her youth!" Gai chuckled, giving Karin a thumbs-up and a smile that sparkled in the sun. "This opening move is devoted to you, Karin-san!"

Her "Er, thanks?" was drowned out by the yell, "Konoha Double Lotus!" Lee made an excited yelp and dashed forward from the other side, spinning into a kick at Kisame's left. The nuke-nin grunted and moved his sword to catch his foot—which left his right open to the bone-breaking force Gai was wielding.

Except the blow didn't connect. Kisame managed to dodge by a thin margin, leaping backwards. The green-clad menaces stayed on him, leaping and weaving in a blur of movement that Kakashi couldn't fully register without his Sharingan. He resisted the temptation to uncover it.

That would be a waste of chakra. Right now, the situation seemed to be overwhelmingly in their favor, to the point where they had more than enough people to control the field. There were too many people for them all to fight together, actually. The Suna team was working well together, and Genma was keeping Tenten out of the crossfire, but any more participants in that fight would be more of a problem than a benefit. If anyone were to be injured, they could easily be rotated out of either fight and both patched up and kept safe.

_'_ _We don't know where their leader is,'_ Kakashi reminded himself darkly, not letting his attention waver. _'_ _Our numbers advantage could easily become irrelevant. Karin couldn't even tell when he left. We may have no warning. For all we know, he could be here.'_

The thought was bleak, but still less unpleasant than anything else he might be doing. By all accounts, that man was a monster. The idea of someone like that going directly after jinchuuriki or taking the body count to another village was unpalatable.

Karin shifted uncomfortably, scuttling backwards a little bit. Sasuke reached out to steady her, red eyes whirling and cataloguing everything that was happening.

"Are you sure we can't join in?" Naruto half-whispered, bright blue eyes practically dancing with visible excitement. His head was following the back and forth action of the blue-on-green fight rather like a pinball game.

"No," Kakashi said shortly.

"Actually," Karin muttered, looking over her shoulder. "There might be a fight for us after all. There's a team coming in from Ame."

_'_ _Does that mean that Ame really is affiliated with Akatsuki, or are they just taking advantage of the confusion?'_

Kakashi frowned under his mask. There was no way to tell until this team arrived. If they joined with Akatsuki, that might be a problem.

"Yamato, take Naruto and Sasuke to investigate our visitors," Kakashi decided blandly. It would be better to keep the fights separate. "Itachi, keep Karin safe. If the situation changes, further orders are at your discretion."

The Uchiha looked downright amused about being downgraded to a bodyguard, but he nodded in agreement nonetheless.

"What about you, sensei?" Naruto blinked guilelessly up at him. Kakashi resisted the urge to pat his head.

"Neji and I are going to investigate that base, of course," he explained breezily, indicating the partially collapsed building. They were fighting in its shadow—it would be intelligent to know what potential dangers were nearby.

He still didn't wholly trust Itachi, after all. If there was anyone else around that Karin couldn't sense in the way that she hadn't sensed Akatsuki's leader, he wanted to know about them.

* * *

"Naruto, don't move ahead," Yamato commanded, keeping the tiredness out of his voice. The blond deferred, falling slightly behind to run at Yamato's left. Sasuke was in the parallel position by Yamato's right hip.

"Sorry, captain," Naruto apologized honestly. His voice was much lower than usual. Surprised, Yamato glanced over to see that the mask of happy idiocy had been wiped from the blond's face.

_'_ _Of course,'_ he realized, feeling like an ass. ' _It's almost a little cruel to keep him out of the fight with Konan, now that he knows she's the one who hurt his twin.'_ Yamato had never had a twin, of course, but he imagined that Kakashi was something like an older sibling. Always cooler and more capable than he could ever be- the idea of someone hurting him just sounded wrong. He would be off-kilter as well in that situation.

Yamato gave an uneasy glance to the other teen—Sasuke's jaw was set firmly as well. Would he be thinking along similar lines? He half-doubted it. Sasuke was preoccupied with his own older sibling.

_'_ _And isn't that a messy situation.'_ Kakashi obviously didn't trust Itachi. Yamato didn't either. If Tsunade-sama confirmed the information and personality assessment, he would welcome Itachi into Konoha with open arms. Until that moment, he thought he had the better deal in putting some distance between the two of them.

_'_ _A fight might make a good distraction for both of them.'_

If that was true, they were spectacularly lucky. They met the Ame ninja a mile and a half out from their comrades. It was immediately obvious that this was going to be a hostile altercation. Yamato gritted his teeth and didn't waste time trying to talk them down.

He met with their leader with a clang of metal, locking his ANBU shortsword against a green-haired woman's thicker sword. She grimaced in his face, huffing- and then spat into his right eye. Yamato shut it in reflex and instantly cursed himself. He forced his left open again just in time to see the movement of her hand as she tossed some sort of white powder directly upwards into his face.

It burned like an acid. Yamato yelped—but took advantage of his superior strength and the fact that his opponent had taken a hand off her blade in order to force her blade out wide and freed up one of his hands to deliver a punch directly into her solar plexus.

The altercation had taken less than a second. Sasuke was just bringing his fist to bear on a man twice his size and Naruto was a foot away from smashing what looked like a Rasengan into a thin brunet's jaw.

' _They seem to be doing fine still,'_ he noted distractedly.

The kunoichi's raised foot hit the ground at the same time that his did, and they split in a blur of movement. The slower shinobi had probably just seen the sparks from their swords colliding, and possibly the powder-fine glitter that had been tossed into the air.

They whipped around on the next step. Yamato cut sideways to buy time to pry his eyes open even as the woman darted forwards to press her advantage. He ducked away from her first blow and lifted his blade to block her second.

* * *

_'_ _No wonder this woman managed to bat Aiko around like a cat toy,'_ Temari noted depreciatingly. Her muscles were trembling with the effort to keep pushing at the prohibitively brutal speed that was necessary. ' _We have her outnumbered five to one, and she's still keeping us on the run. What kind of monster is she?'_

The little konoha kunoichi gave a little grunt and covered her face with her forearms to block the worst of a mis-aimed wind jutsu from Baki. His wind blades tended to go wide and veer unpredictably once they hit another breeze. In other words, they were short-distance weapons, which was why they normally complimented her long-distance attacks.

Neither was optimal against another long distance fighter who moved so damn quickly. They had to predict and force her movements in order for anything to connect while working around the limitations and general havoc of their own techniques. It was a wonder that the Konoha nin hadn't gotten hurt yet, inexperienced as they were with the unpredictable nature of those attacks. The man seemed to have been in plenty of fights before, but the girl couldn't possibly have been. She looked like she had fruit stuck to the top of her head for kami's sake. Fearsome killers just didn't do that.

_'_ _Still, she's pretty good,'_ Temari noted grudgingly. She was doing well to keep the paper ninja's attacks away from herself and was steadily immobilizing the older woman's supply of ammunition.

Temari hadn't managed any such damage so far, but she was proving to be the best at harrying the Ame kunoichi. Kankuro was covering her back, working to keep any rogue paper from doing anything sneaky when she wasn't looking.

_'_ _When I got that lucky hit in earlier, it disrupted her movements for almost a full second,'_ Temari noted, narrowing her eyes at the winged shadow overhead. ' _If I can do that again and coordinate well enough with Peaches here to hit her at the right moment, we might be able to take her down. Or we could play it safe and fight her by attrition. The Uchiha traitor said that she was nearly undefeatable as long as she had weaponry, didn't he?'_

Then again, she didn't know what observations he was basing that analysis off of. In her experience, anything and anyone could be killed, often by someone much smaller than them.

Temari gave a vicious grin, already picturing cutting off her enemy's head to take home. She really didn't like that woman.

Konan dove yet again, flashing across the sky and raining down explosives shaped like doves. "Nugh!" Temari grunted, heaving with the effort to bat them aside. The constructions that collided with each other went up in little localized blasts, but not all of them were detonated. Three were intact and headed for-

"Genma!" Peaches called out, sliding in from the right and pinning the first one with a spinning shuriken. It took a moment for Temari to catch on that the idly grinning Konoha nin had speared the other two with senbon. That was just fucking scary.

"Don't worry about me, Ten-chan. I'm a big boy. I'll be just fine." He winked at her.

All the respect she'd had for him based on the impressiveness of that senbon accuracy stunt fled instantly. Peaches gave a dismissive grunt and turned away as well, pulling the enormous scroll off her back.

"Temari-san! Do you think you can hit her again?"

_'_ _A girl after my own heart,'_ Temari realized, licking the inside of her lips. She just nodded. ' _I have to be smart about this. She only comes down into my range when I'm preoccupied if she can help it. But she must be getting desperate to finish this fight. She's got to know that it can't end in her favor if it goes much longer. Maybe we should just be playing it safe, but what if she's playing for time because she expects reinforcements?'_

"Kankuro, give me some space," she said lowly, widening her stance and adjusting her weight instead of keeping low so that she could dart in any direction.

Konan would want to take her out. If she made herself a target, the older woman might come in close enough to do the job herself.

_'_ _There's more than one way to force her to hold still. If I can't count on getting an attack in, I could go directly to her.'_

Konan wasn't the only aerial fighter, after all. Temari snapped her fan open the rest of the way and called up a fierce gale. She ran with it for a moment—and then spread her weapon perpendicular to the ground and deftly leapt on top. The sun-warmed metal all but burned against her bent legs, but she didn't care. The fast moving air picked at her tightly bound hair and threatened to rip her clothing. It would have if the cotton wasn't reinforced with fine threads of metal.

She gripped the edge of her fan tightly, never minding that a line of blood appeared on her fingers where she was clutching, and used every bit of brute strength she had to moderate the movement of her weapon (and primary mode of transportation). With the wide edge directed down, the wind from underneath pushed her upward. Temari slowly sucked in a deep breathing, acclimating to the change in pressure—and then darted after the blue-haired bitch, leaning with the wind. A humourless smile exposed her teeth to the air. So high up, it was both thin and dry, unlike the moist crap hanging below.

_'_ _Much better. Water in the air was slowing me down.'_

Up here, Temari was fast as thought, slipping like quicksilver. Konan couldn't ride the wind—she flapped unwieldy paper wings to move, thousands of expertly turned feathers that were so susceptible to a little thing like conflicting air pockets…

She barreled directly at Konan, taking vicious pleasure in how wide her orange eyes were in the bright light above the clouds. Temari pulled four senbon out from her thigh length stockings and wore them in her hand like claws between her knuckles, ready to do her best to skewer those ugly eyes.

_'_ _Damnit!'_

Konan moved at the last moment. Instead of her perfect shot, Temari had to close her eyes as she burst through the thousand tiny feathers that made up Konan's left wing. She gasped with pain—hundreds of papercuts were still hundreds of cuts.

But she had the last laugh anyways. Konan's wing was tattered and struggling to reform while the older woman plummeted like a rock. Peaches leapt directly into the air, spiraling and spinning in a fascinating way with that enormous scroll.

_'_ _It looks like she's dancing,_ ' Temari realized, privately enchanted in the moment before she realized that Peaches was running her fingers along the scroll as she moved upwards.

And suddenly knew it was a bad idea to maintain her current position in a straight line with the other two kunoichi. Temari leaned forward to speed her travel and called a brutally efficient gust that rocketed her out of the way, never mind that the force caused some of the bits of paper hanging off her flesh to dig deeper in.

Hundreds and hundreds of pinpricks of light- senbon and kunai and shuriken and a dozen kinds of little knives that Temari couldn't name- cut through Konan again and again in the three seconds it took her to fall. There was no blood, but Temari knew that if she were closer she would have able to see the sunlight through the holes in the older woman's body.

_'_ _It's over.'_ She couldn't even be sorry that she didn't get to land the final blow. That had been beautiful. Konan smacked face first into the ground with enough force to blow up a cloud of dust, spread eagle with limbs clearly broken from the impact.

Temari landed and smoothly pulled her fan up, closing it in the same motion that she slipped it over her back. Kankuro glanced over at her with a pout, clearly put out that he hadn't gotten to do more than play defense. She grinned cheerfully back at him.

And Konan's left leg twitched, straightening at the break that had set her calf at two angles. The smile froze on Temari's face.

_'_ _What is this woman made of? I mean, she can't actually be made of paper, can she?'_


	101. It's Only a Flesh Wound

There is just literally no way to end this without something that is going to come across as a cliff-hanger. So I just stopped typing when I got bored. Mid-scene at that. This feels like multiple chapters to me, but I felt it would be kinder to give as much as possible so that nothing was left alone too long. This chapter just about killed me to get out and there's so much going on that I considered throwing my laptop away, changing my name, and moving to an isolated hamlet with no internet in lieu of figuring it out. But I didn't. So please god love it.

* * *

"H-Yah! Ha! Ha! Hya!" Gai's fists were a blur as he danced around his opponent. His lips were pulled tightly across his gums, exposing both his teeth and full-hearted joy. Lee was nearly as loud, and nearly as fast. He was actually scoring more hits than his sensei, in no small part because Kisame was clearly able to see that one was more dangerous than the other and prioritized avoiding Gai's limbs when he was stuck between the two.

It was a little intimidating. Karin cringed a little, inadvertently curling close to Itachi's side. He scared her on a visceral level she couldn't explain, but at least at the moment he didn't look like he was mad with bloodlust. And he was supposed to be helping her, right? She didn't like being away from comrades. Had Kakashi separated her from her team because he was mad at her? No, he wasn't that petty. This was the best solution, she had to believe it.

' _This is why I don't do field work,_ ' she fretted, heartbeat racing. _'It's too messy.'_

The rain that had been fogging her chakra sense was gone, which was a mixed relief. After so many weeks of essentially being crippled, it was disorienting to suddenly be in the midst of a new place with so many signatures moving. She could tell that the Kiri troops were intending to engage Kakuzu—and that was going to be soon, she would message them in a few minutes to let them know he was almost on top of them so he couldn't slip by. Naruto and Yamato and Sasuke were barreling towards possible hostiles. Everyone else was either fighting or slinking around inside the base—which had led to the disconcerting realization that Kakashi and Neji had found some sort of facility within the building with chakra suppressors. They'd disappeared from her view a few minutes back. So there could possibly be more people waiting in ambush.

' _And I've been left with Sasuke's creepy brother._ ' And boy, was he ever creepy. Karin didn't have any right to complain about red eyes being unnerving on principle, but his were so distant and impassive. It was like he wasn't looking at people. He was looking at facts and figures and weighing outcomes. She shivered uncontrollably and wrapped icy cold fingers around her arms in a pitiful attempt to warm up. Once she had stopped moving, the chill had set in. Ame was awful and dreary even without the artificial and constant rain. Her long sleeves weren't much help, soaked as they were.

' _There's nothing for it. I have to trust him. I have to trust Sasuke's assessment. Being suspicious of Itachi won't do me any good. I can't hope to fight him, and I need his help to make sure I can do my job. Keeping everyone aligned is too important for me to cower.'_

"I-Itachi-san?" Her voice almost sounded normal. "Do you think they can beat Hoshigaki?" She immediately worried at her lower lip once the words had come out. Itachi would know, of course, he should know the Akatsuki's weaknesses better than anyone. He didn't seem like a man who would lie to reassure her. She almost didn't want to hear his assessment—if he said Lee and Gai were about to die, what would she do? Should she try to help?

"They will defeat him."

The timbre of his voice was pleasing, and the cultured enunciations he used made him sound intelligent. It was only the detached way he spoke that made it seem like something was very wrong in the older Uchiha's head.

Still, she felt a flicker of relief. "Good." Karin swallowed, allowing herself to look back at the closest fight. It was… Well, she could barely see what was happening. It was far faster than she could fight. Far faster than anything she'd seen from Sasuke or Naruto, even. She didn't want to have to interfere. It seemed more likely that she would get in the way.

"The other team will not be able to stand against Konan."

Startled, she wheeled around. "Say what? They have her surrounded five to one," Karin protested nervously. "If Gai-sensei and Lee-kun can defeat Kisame, then why…"

Itachi seemed almost pitying. "Konan is a formidable opponent." He looked away into the distance, as if he could possibly still see that fight. There was no way he could, of course. They had passed out of her field of vision six minutes prior and they were still moving, though unsteadily.

' _Is Konan intentionally herding them?'_ She suddenly wondered, sickly with nerves. Her abilities were so stupid and useless when she didn't know the terrain!

"Kakashi-sensei… Is he going to find anything in the base?"

Itachi seemed strangely tolerant of her questions and presence—patient, even. She might as well push her luck. What was he going to do, snap and kill her? Karin suppressed hysterical laughter. She was trusting her life with a mass murderer because Sasuke said he was alright. God, if he was wrong, she was going to come back as a ghost and choke him to death with one of his pretty collared shirts.

Belatedly, she realized that she was growling. Karin stopped that.

Her companion and apparent bodyguard might have even looked a little amused at her sudden emotional shift from nervousness to vowing vengeance. "Very little. He may be interested in the holding facilities. I suspect that Suna will be interested in re-acquiring some of the individuals within."

Karin blinked, remembering Aiko's description of her time in captivity. It had sounded rather more casual than a stay in an actual holding facility. "Cells? Are those new?" she asked sardonically. Instantly, she flushed.

' _Idiot! Don't try to joke with him. You don't know how he'll take it.'_

The worst part was that he was so damn still that he was all but impossible to read. "No." At least he didn't seem angry, but he looked directly at her. "But they are seldom occupied. Pein-sama prefers not to keep prisoners, but he made a concession for practicality's sake. Kisame has been feeding Samehada there."

"..and Samehada is what, a dog?" she asked, feeling lost.

If that sound had come from anyone else, she might have labeled it an aborted laugh. Instead, Karin convinced herself it was a tiny cough. "His sword," Itachi stressed gravely.

' _Oh, right. Kakashi said that earlier._ ' Feeling stressed and like her focus was slipping, Karin ran her tongue along the inside of her teeth. _'Time to alert Kumo, I think.'_

By now, the motions to call the twin to the serpent she had planted in Kumo's main camp were executed without so much as a thought. Gently, she caught the animal that appeared and let her twine around Karin's arms in a pitiful attempt at warmth.

"I apologize," she murmured, turning politely away from Itachi to talk to her summons. Rakki squeezed around her wrist with enough force to hurt, clearly not much appeased. "Tell Scale-sister that the digger will be with the humans from Kumo within two minutes."

"Yes," Rakki agreed unhappily, and let go. Karin let her fall, ending the connection keeping her in the human world before the serpent could hit the ground.

' _They are going to be angry with me,'_ Karin mused guiltily for the hundredth time. It was far too cold here for her summons, and the time commitment was as long as the task was dull. She was going to have to get them so many lizards to make up for this… Mice weren't going to cut it this time.

A pained cry rent the air. Karin jumped half a foot, hand flickering with a chakra scalpel before she had decided whether her impulse was to heal or cut.

"Oh my god," she whispered, eyes wide and fixed on the smallest figure visible. Whatever had happened had clearly taken him out of commission. He wasn't even standing. "Lee!" She'd never seen him hurt like that before—he got scrapes and broken bones like anyone else, but he'd never- he was just too strong and too stubborn to be unable to fight.

It became unpleasantly clear that Gai-sensei was no longer enjoying his fight. She couldn't hear what he said, but the red chakra that coated his body couldn't possibly be a good sign.

Frantic, she surveyed the situation- Kakuzu had been engaged. The team fighting Konan was going strong. Captain Yamato's team was fine and had taken out one of their opponents. Kakashi and Neji were still hidden from her senses in some dark hole in Akatsuki's base.

She should hold her post and pay attention to the grand scheme of the theatre in case something went wrong. Instead, she tore across the mud, slipping at one point but not caring. Karin crossed the distance separating her from her downed colleague in a matter of seconds, completely forgetting that she had an intimidating shadow. Itachi didn't say anything one way or the other.

"What happened, Lee?" Karin breathed, dropping to her knees in the sod and marsh. He grinned up at her tiredly, but the cracks in his cheer showed it for the lie it was.

"I was defeated, Karin-san! But fear not. Next time, he shall not get the better of me."

Involuntarily, she cast a dubious glance over her shoulder at the carnage happening far too quickly for her to see. Suddenly, the 'Beast' nickname didn't seem like a boast at all. "I don't think Gai-sensei is going to leave anything for you to fight," she mumbled, pulling her jacket off and balling it under his head. "Hold still, Lee-kun."

Had he been any other shinobi, she probably would have pulled his shirt up before examining him. As it was, she didn't think he would thank her if she ripped his jumpsuit and left him in his tighty whities. So she gently placed just her fingertips over his gut and tried to ignore the way he winced and clenched his jaw. Karin closed her eyes, cataloguing what her senses were telling her as she moved her hands.

' _Four broken ribs. One pierced the left lung and it's filling with fluid. Severe bruising, but that's almost negligible at this point…'_

She summed the situation up with a blunt and professional, "Shit."

Lee gave a choked laugh. "Karin-san! Here I thought that Sasuke-san was jesting when he claimed that he was going to recommend you further study bedside manners."

"That sassy bastard? Like he's one to talk," she replied, managing to give the Chuunin a smile and totally miss the way Itachi nearly choked. Lee was incredible to be able to make jokes at a time like this. In his position, she might just be crying. How could someone be so good-natured all the time? He had to be in horrendous pain.

Speaking of which… Karin reached into the pouch at her left hip and dug out a yellow capsule. "Bite this, please," she ordered crisply, tucking it inside Lee's lips and ignoring his surprise. That would do for the pain, but pain was just a symptom. If she didn't do something about the blood in his lung, he would drown. That couldn't be first, though. She had to move the broken rib into place and at least get it patched up before she could do anything about the liquid.

The blood wouldn't be a problem for her. She'd mastered Tsunade's poison extraction technique as well as Shizune could teach her. Moving liquid was well within her capabilities.

' _I wish I'd been better as an actual field medic,'_ Karin thought a little morosely. She was a poison specialist, not a trauma surgeon. Sasuke would be much, much better at the bone work.

But he wasn't here now, and she was.

She had no idea how long it took her to coax the rib piercing his lung back into place, but she was trembling and sweat was dripping down her forehead.

' _It's quiet,'_ Karin noted vaguely. _'Does that mean Gai's fight is over?'_

Maybe. She didn't bother to look or see what was happening elsewhere. A medic had to focus on the patient alone. Or they would end up with a dead patient.

Lee had lapsed into what she thought was unconsciousness for a second—until he blinked his eyes open to look up at her dazedly.

His breathing sounded terrible—waterlogged and raspy. A little panicked, Karin bent low over his chest to assess how much he'd bled while she'd been working. ' _More than I'd like,'_ she grimly judged.

Still, this was the easy part.

"Keep your mouth open, and stay calm," Karin ordered, trying to sound confident and no-nonsense instead of like she was in the middle of her first surgery in the field.

It had to be incredibly unpleasant to feel a rush of hot blood being pulled up his lung and up and out of his throat, but Lee bore it stoically. Karin balanced the glob between trembling hands- and then tossed it to the side, bringing her fingers back down to the bottom of his lung to repeat the procedure again and again until there was no liquid left where it shouldn't be. Pale-faced and exhausted, she re-checked Lee's vitals—and slumped over in relief. He was doing well. Now she just needed to try to heal the other two ribs, see if she could perfect the patch over the one she had already done, and make sure he couldn't re-injure himself by-

"Karin-sensei," mumbled-

Karin blinked and looked up, downright shocked to hear the term of respect coming from Uchiha Itachi. Sensei was the traditional marker of respect for a doctor but she wasn't really deserving of that.

"Yes?" she asked faintly, and tried not to blush at the strange softness in his gaze or the way he slightly bowed his head to her.

' _Maybe he just really respects medics,'_ Karin realized vaguely. That was unusual. Pleasant, but not the ordinary case among shinobi.

"May I suggest that you examine Maito-san?" He gestured towards a slumped figure she hadn't noticed. The movement was so subtle that she could tell it was a conscious effort for him to utilize body language at all. She instantly pegged him as even more socially awkward and repressed than Sai. Shame.

' _Wait. Gai is hurt?'_

But she already _knew_ Lee was hurt-

Lee grabbed her hand. "Please examine Gai-sensei first, Karin-san!" He was all but begging.

Karin nodded slowly, detangling her hand. "Of course," she allowed, and pushed her glasses up slightly before she jogged across the slight distance. She tried very hard not to notice the blood splatters and obviously shattered bones in the over-large body that lay not far away.

"Kisame is dead," Itachi assured her, seeming to catch on to her hidden fear. She felt ashamed, but didn't allow herself to wallow in it.

Gai… was not in good shape. "What did you do," she breathed incredulously. He was slightly too unconscious to offer a reply. Every muscle she examined was torn, ligaments pushed far beyond their limits, bones cracked in odd patterns she'd never seen before… and his chakra core was depleted.

' _Mito-sensei would be irritated with me,'_ Karin realized, even as she wiped her right forearm with a sanitary wipe from her med-kit and carefully placed it inside Gai-sensei's mouth. Sensei hadn't liked the use of her unusual abilities as anything except a literal last resort. Healing other people by gifting away her life energy took a harsh toll on Karin's body. It was unhygienic, unconventional, and her best option at the moment. Itachi moved, possibly startled or revolted, but didn't interfere when she placed her splayed fingers on the bottom of the unconscious man's jaw and used the force to 'encourage' his teeth to break the surface of her epidermis.

"I can share my vitality this way," she explained, feeling oddly ashamed of the crude methodology. Karin didn't have long to wallow in her inadequacies—Gai unconsciously sapped a horrifying portion of the chakra she hadn't spent running or fighting or healing. She gritted her teeth and pulled away, breathing heavily. It took two tries to find the proper proportions of neutral physical and spiritual energy to call up diagnostic chakra to check his condition, which she instantly recognized as proof that she was nearing her limits. That was all but instinctive at this point in her career.

And her glowing palm technique cut out before she could get a real reading. Frustrated, Karin shook her fingers out and tried again. A warm hand curled around her wrist before she could force the jutsu.

"Do not push yourself beyond what you are capable," Itachi said quietly. Almost self-consciously, he released her hand quickly and nodded at her patient. "A visual check is enough to confirm that Gai-san's state is much improved. Trust that your teammates will return, or that you may finish treating your patients once you have recuperated."

She stared for a second, light-headed and a little grumpy at being interrupted. "Are you always so… logical?" Karin scrunched up her nose in a moue of distaste. "That seems so dull."

Still, she took the advice and leaned back in a recovery position, getting as much oxygen as possible and re-gaining her bearings. "Speaking of which," Karin mumbled, barely aware that she was talking aloud. She squeezed her eyes shut. That wasn't strictly necessary, but when she was having a hard time focusing, it was helpful to separate her senses so that she could concentrate on whatever was most crucial.

Kakashi and Neji were back and making their way towards her position. So was Yamato's thankfully intact team. The other fight had moved quite a distance away—and Konan had disappeared off her vision. That meant that something had gone wrong. She was supposed to have been captured. Had she been killed or had she escaped, Karin wondered idly. It was impossible to know without further information. At least the five shinobi who'd been fighting Konan seemed fine.

Kakuzu was gone as well… As were two of the signatures she'd become familiar with from Kumo. Dead, or had they chased him out of her range?

"Karin, Itachi. Report. Any problems?" She blinked gummily, a little surprised that Kakashi had appeared so suddenly.

"Lee-kun and Gai-sensei are going to need another healing session before either one of them is moved," she offered. "Yamato's team won and is on their way back here. Ah… The fighting ended with Konan and her signature is gone, but I don't know what happened. No fatalities on our side, but I don't know about medical condition yet."

Self-consciously, she rubbed at her face and gave consideration to falling over unconscious instead of finishing her report.

Karin tabled the thought for later, because unconsciousness sounded blissful. May as well bite the kunai and fess up to dereliction of duty, because her commanding officer was going to figure it out even if Itachi didn't tattle on her. "I became preoccupied with healing, and I'm not certain if Kakuzu escaped or was killed. But two Kumo nin are either dead or out of my range as well."

Kakashi didn't seem pleased by her assessment. "Contact them, if you can," he ordered briskly before seeming to note that Neji was all but staring at his teammates. "Feel free to visit them," Kakashi advised a little more softly. "Hurry. You're going to go check on Tenten's team after that." Then he turned to Itachi last. "Any problems?"

"I suspect that Konan and Kakuzu have both escaped," he calmly put forth. "It should also be brought to your attention that Karin-sensei is not in fit condition to perform another jutsu at the moment."

A sharp eye pinned the redhead just as she made the first seal to summon a serpent. She blinked guiltily, not sure why she felt that way. "I see," the Jounin sighed. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Forgive me, Karin-chan, I should have noticed. Forget what I said." Kakashi ran through his own sequence of handseals—and a moment later smoke was clearing to reveal two hounds.

Well. One of them was a proper hound. The other was a stubby little pug with big sad eyes.

"Pakkun, I need you to deliver a message to the closest units," Kakashi ordered briskly. "Tell them to contact the adjacent squad and move into Ame. We're taking temporary control of the village."

"We?" the pug asked curiously, tilting his head.

"The alliance," Kakashi clarified lazily. "Not Konoha in particular, of course. It seems that Akatsuki is definitely associated with Ame. They shouldn't pose much threat on their own, but it would be foolish to leave known enemies unsupervised when we have taken control of their base. Bisuke, stay with Pakkun, just in case something goes wrong."

The actual hound gave a pleasant yap and beat his tail against the ground one time. Karin forced down a smile. She didn't think Kakashi-sensei would appreciate being told that his ninken were adorable and cuddly looking.

The serious expression on his face leant to that impression. She was glad she hadn't moved to pet the dogs.

Some people were just so touchy. Karin gave a huge yawn that cracked her jaw. Appalled, she slapped a palm over her open mouth and tried to force her eyes to stay open.

' _I should find out what Gai-sensei did that took so much of his life energy,'_ she decided, even as it became clear that she wasn't going to find out anytime soon. Neji bounded off in the direction Itachi indicated, clearly on course to ensure that his last remaining teammate was not also in need of medical attention.

She would have plenty of time to find out, if they were going to be stuck in Ame for the foreseeable future. Blegh. No one was going to be pleased about putting Ame under new management.

When Neji returned, it was with Tenten, Genma, and the disgruntled Suna team. Karin knew their target had gotten away before anyone so much as spoke from their downtrodden attitudes. It didn't help matters when Naruto blandly reported that they'd won their fights before turning to Temari and asking how she'd finished Konan.

' _His faith is inspiring,'_ Karin thought dryly. ' _His situational assessment is less so.'_

Still, by that point she was feeling well enough to grab Sasuke and get a secondary opinion on the men in green. Karin barely noted that the large team was talking about the fight with Konan-something about her leading them to another building and making a break for the border, leading them through a delaying ambush of Ame nin. She was more preoccupied with the situation that she could alter. Injuries for the other team were less severe than even the improved condition of Karin's two patients, so she hardly felt guilty about privileging the care of people she knew. This time, she was aware enough to recognize that Itachi was watching with undisguised interest as she and Sasuke ran diagnostics and compared notes.

Gai was recuperating shockingly well, given an infusion from her regenerative chakra. The spiderweb cracks in his bones were the only problem that would be a lasting issue—but assuming he was treated gently, only minor treatments and nutritional supplements would have him on the path to recovery.

Lee was another story. A second pass of his lungs revealed a small clot she had missed on her initial diagnosis—something that seemed to have been a preexisting condition. She frowned, mildly amazed that such a thing had slipped notice, but excised it nonetheless. His broken ribs were going to be a problem, however.

"I don't think we can let them heal naturally," Karin posited unwillingly, curling her toes inside her sandals. Normally, that was optimal. A medic nin generally encouraged the body to heal better and more expediently than usual. Forcing the healing process was disruptive and often had long-term repercussions for the patient's immunity and ability to heal naturally.

But the situation they were in was too dangerous to play it safe. Lee would hardly be able to stand without risking incurring further damage, much less keep pain at manageable levels without eating drugs like they were breath mints.

Sasuke sighed, fluffing up the back of his hair. "How is your chakra level?" he asked, not sounding like he expected much.

When she admitted that she was nearly drained, he just nodded.

"I'm hardly surprised. You've been maintaining all those summons for days now. Your available pool was much smaller than usual." Sasuke flicked his black eyes into red effortlessly, in the space between thoughts. "Can you hold the topmost rib in place while I work?"

Kakashi watched the interchange impassively, realizing in the sickly light that they had fought almost through the night. He turned his gaze on each of the shinobi in his care one by one, cataloguing their states. Most needed rest and care. Naruto and Sasuke had the best summons for getting a report back to Konoha—and this situation did need to be reported—but they should rest. Silently, he ran his hands through the seals to summon two more members of his pack. Urushi and Guruko looked up at him inquisitively. He knelt to speak with them in an undertone.

"Can I get you to take a message to Konoha?"

The ninken didn't bother to respond verbally. Guruko grinned good-naturedly. Kakashi reached out to scratch behind an ear for both hounds, silently expressing his thanks. When he drew his hands back, it was to pull a bit of paper and a pen out of his hip pouch. "Just a minute, then."

Poor Tsunade didn't speak dog, after all.

* * *

Obito jerked into awareness and simply raised one hand. Zetsu obediently halted. The unconscious man on his back swayed sickly with the motion, but didn't stir.

That was normal. He wouldn't be waking up anytime soon, if at all before the end.

"Tobi-san?" White Zetsu asked inquisitively. The dark side of his face pulled into a sneer, but said nothing.

"Do you sense anyone familiar?" Obito asked quietly, slipping out of Tobi's skin and thoughts like they were a manky old sweater. The boy obediently slunk into silence.

Zetsu quirked his head slightly. It was Black Zetsu who answered. "The greedy old man," he muttered distastefully. "Kakuzu-san is alright," White Zetsu disagreed mildly.

Obito concentrated on the important information and ignored the byplay. "Give me the jinchuuriki," he ordered, and hurriedly hustled the man onto his back. Kakuzu thought he was Zetsu's hanger-on, and would expect him to be doing the heavy lifting and grunt work. "Find out what has happened in our absence."

It wasn't long before the familiar chakra signature veered on course to meet them, clearly recognizing their party. They met several miles out of Ame's northern border.

Kakuzu was in his pajamas, clearly dirtied, and limping slightly. It didn't bode well.

"Oh no, Kakuzu-senpai!" Tobi gasped, jerking control away from Obito and flailing in concern, nearly letting his burden slip to the ground. He flitted about the older man, apparently unaware of his growing rage, and examined him from various angles. Even Tobi wasn't stupid enough to try to hug Kakuzu to make him feel better or even touch him. No other Akatsuki had fits of mindless rage like the miser did, and there was no way to get in a fight with him without losing his cover as an idiot.

"Tobi, calm yourself," Black Zetsu spat condescendingly. His calmer half tried to soothe things over by turning the conversation over to the interloper. "What has happened, Kakuzu-san? We have returned with our target."

Kakuzu snorted, ill-tempered. The fact that he hadn't lashed out betrayed that he was weaker than he was letting on, however. "For all the good it will do," he sneered. "Leader-sama left the bimbo in charge and wandered off somewhere. The Konoha and Suna morons moved into Ame. Hidan is dead. The last I saw, Kisame and Konan were fighting against poor odds." His voice dropped into simmering rage and bitterness. "Itachi has betrayed us."

' _Well, that's not surprising at all,'_ Obito snorted. Idiots, the lot of them, never thinking to look beyond what they had been told was truth. Itachi had made a tactically sound, at least for the short-term. The only unexpected turn there had been that Pein had dared leave Ame… Was that why he had been sent out of the country? Pein had probably hoped to return before Obito knew he was gone.

' _But where did he go?"_ Madara whispered, curling like grey smoke to strangle other thoughts. _'What does he wish to hide from us? Is he afraid of what we would do unchecked in Ame, or wary of what we would do to stop whatever course of action he has set upon?'_

"Itachi-senpai would never betray Akatsuki," Tobi said loyally.

Technically, he was correct. Akatsuki had never truly had Itachi's allegiance. It was logically impossible for him to betray the organization.

That didn't mean that the wayward boy wouldn't have to be punished for his choice, of course.

Madara's conversation was more interesting than the outside topic. What would Pein want to hide from Obito?

' _Or what would Pein want to do in general,_ ' Obito thought instead, turning the nuances away from a topic he could hardly predict without more information. Pein saw the alliance as the greatest impediment to Akatsuki's goals, quite rightly so, and what would he do about that?

The answer came easily. What else could be expected from someone who thought to impose his will upon the world by creating a monster so terrible that no one would dare disobey him? Pein was crude. He would attempt to solve the matter ham-handedly.

"That's not good," Zetsu muttered, ignoring Tobi altogether. Kakuzu did as well. "Itachi is stronger than Kisame. He's probably lost to us."

"But not Konan?" Kakuzu asked, actually sounding mildly interested. None of them had worked with Pein's partner.

"I cannot estimate," Black Zetsu balefully lied in a way that implied he wished Konan would perish. Obito rolled his eyes, content in the knowledge that no one was paying any attention to him anyways. Pitiful and petty. Zetsu should know better. He was Madara's creature through and through in a way Obito had never been. For the moment, he was a valuable ally in the Eye of the Moon plan, since Obito didn't see a way to accomplish his goals without using Pein's Rinnegan to resurrect the older man.

But Obito hardly felt limited to Madara's vision. He was going to be the one to cast the ultimate Tsukyomi, not that fossil.

' _Bide your time,'_ the deepest voice urged, amused for a reason Obito couldn't put his finger on. _'Now is not the time to show our hand.'_

"Is Ame lost to us, then?" Zetsu asked curiously.

"Probably. It's overrun with Konoha and Kumo nin. We will need to contact Pein," Kakuzu grunted, giving a dismissive glance at the form slumped over Obito's back. "It is hardly wise to haul that sack of lard around longer than necessary."

"Without Kisame and Hidan, will it even be possible to extract the bijuu?" White Zetsu asked doubtfully. Black Zetsu made a rude sound, but offered no helpful opinion.

The oldest man present pressed his lips down into a resentful frown. "We will need to augment our numbers," he admitted bitterly. "Even if Konan has survived and meets with us, we will be extracting this bijuu with less than half our original numbers."

Strictly speaking, it wasn't true that they needed more people to extract bijuu. Obito suspected that he could accomplish such a thing with only Pein or Konan for a partner, but each participant cut down the necessary time for the procedure exponentially. They were most vulnerable while performing an extraction. It would be foolish not to shorten that weakness as much as possible.

Itachi was gone. Kisame was probably lost. Hidan had joined Sasori and Deidara in death—unless, of course, he came crawling back a week later as he usually did.

Obito let Tobi proffer an innocent idea. "Why don't we make more friends?" He clapped his gloved hands, as if the concept was novel. "Wasn't there a bad thing in Mist? I bet we can find some more shinobi who can't stay in the village anymore!"

A laugh nearly bubbled up in his throat at that guilelessly innocent description of missing nin, but Obito managed to choke it down in time. Tobi really cracked him up sometimes. More lately than in past, actually.

Any surviving Mist traitors would be highly suspect, of course, but it was a start.

"Good idea," White Zetsu agreed easily. "You can take care of it," Black Zetsu grunted, amused by his own cleverness. "We will hide the jinchuuriki and contact you when we have found Pein-sama."

He pretended to be ecstatic at the suggestion and hurried off the Water Country post-haste. With his abilities, that was far faster than Kakuzu could possibly have predicted. Obito didn't mind the informal mission. He had recruited most of the Akatsuki in some capacity or another. He had a knack for it.

That knack bore fruit only two days later on one of the outlier islands where any fleeing failures would have had to pass, when he went to pull an oversized sword out of the tides and found that it was connected to what initially appeared to be a stubborn current. Obito gave one curious tug, already suspecting the truth.

The boy came sputtering and baring teeth as he solidified out of the water, rather badly attempting to intimidate the Akatsuki.

' _One of the water clan,'_ Madara thought, idly amused. _'And not a particularly impressive specimen, either. I might throw it back and look for a better fish.'_

Obito ignored that advice and the obviously battered condition of his find in favor of something more interesting.

"This is one of the swords belonging to the Mist's seven swordsmen," he mused quietly, running a gloved finger over the distinctive handle and eying the half-moon cutout on the enormous blade.

"Yes, and it's mine!" The white-haired teen barked, attempting to pull the blade out of Obito's grip. He didn't relent.

"Did you steal this, boy?"

His catch bristled. "Fuck no, dumbshit. I'm the only real swordsman left."

"You might be," Obito agreed idly. If Kisame really was dead. More relevant to current issue was that Kiri didn't give these swords out to weaklings. The boy was young, clearly possessed more bravado than brains, and was not up to Akatsuki's usual standards. However… he had to have talent; and a quick check of his vitals reinforced the suspicion that the boy would be an A-class fighter given time to recuperate. His chakra was acceptable. "Let's make a deal. Join me, and I will make sure you can retrieve the remaining swords. If you do not wish to travel with me, I will kill you now."

The boy agreed, after a … demonstration of Obito's ability to harm him.

One addition wouldn't be enough, but that was satisfactory progress. Even better, this one feared only him and not Pein. The older man's use was quickly expiring, as evidenced by his failure to use his resources to accomplish a relatively simple goal. Pein had forgone expediency for subtlety and failed in both regards. If he didn't need those _damned Rinnegan_ and an idiot attached to them for the Eye of the Moon plan, that incompetent, idealistic buffoon would have been discarded long ago.

He picked up two more missing nin in a similar fashion before he headed back in search of Akatsuki—one more displaced Kiri nin, and one piece of scum he had found attempting to cash in on a bounty in Tea country. It was time that he started edging out behind the Ame ninja's shadow in some respects. Kisame had been his only loyal follower. If he was truly dead, Obito needed a replacement.

Of course, he also needed to store his hangers on with Zetsu and find out what idiocy Pein had managed to get elbows-deep in.

* * *

Konoha felt like a city of the dead. Comparatively speaking, they had an impressive shinobi population for a hidden village. It didn't seem that way when about half of that population was out in the field somewhere. A significant portion of the remainder was either under fourteen or assigned to protecting the cloistered civilians, and therefore unavailable for the moment.

With so many either stationed with their most vulnerable or deployed elsewhere, Konoha's Jounin and Chuunin were stretched thin maintaining tightened perimeters around the village. Even when they weren't officially on guard duty, most of them seemed to walk the streets warily. And why not? It wasn't like there was much else to do.

It had been days since Tsunade had put the village on full lockdown. Doubtless, the civilians were getting restless, but they would be fine for quite a while. The village was prepared for many eventualities, including siege. No one would be happy, but no one would starve in the protected shelters for at least a few months, either.

' _It's downright creepy.'_ Aiko shuddered, walking past yet another store that hadn't had time to lock their doors or put away the wares on display when the alarm had gone off. That poor deli owner was going to have a terrible mess to clean up when they returned. The smell was less than scintillating.

There were a surprising amount of genin aged fifteen and older. Aiko tried not to be biased or judgmental- not everyone became a Chuunin and that was fine—but it just seemed so strange that Naruto's team could have been recommended for promotion after only a few months of duty but that so many other genin apparently hadn't tried the exams yet at that age.

Whatever the reason, she was still grateful for the oddly large numbers. Genin were serving as temporary infrastructure—running messages, and performing the day to day work that kept everyone else fed and in decent health.

The ink on her arm burnt. Aiko didn't bother to look at her ANBU tattoo, though she had the first few times that she'd been summoned to a shift that way. That had made her look like a complete rookie, sadly. It heated when she was required to report in an emergency, but it didn't change in any way. So staring at it as if the tattoo would somehow have the answers was just begging for onlookers to laugh at her expense.

When she'd gotten the tattoo, the artist had told her that the chakra-infused ink could be used to contact her in case of emergencies. But she'd never been on a squad that did anything particularly risky or time-sensitive. Running patrols and taking guard shifts was formulaic and well scheduled, so there was no need to actually contact her as an operative outside of normal channels.

Burning on her arm had become the new normal for the past few days, however.

It didn't seem to indicate an actual emergency now as much as it meant that it was the fastest way to contact an operative. The genin corps had been largely conscripted to replace the existing infrastructure and secretarial positions, but that was still laughably inefficient in comparison to the well-polished system that was normally in place. Being able to run quickly and throw kunai didn't really put genin ahead of the civilian staff when it came to actually getting lines of communication running smoothly and the village operating.

At least temporarily, the burning now meant that she was to report to the Jounin lounge instead of the out of the way ANBU facility. As was the new norm, the room was already occupied.

"Hello." Aoba nodded when she walked in.

Aiko managed a tired smile and a half-hearted wave. She sat sideways on the couch that curled around the outside of the room and stretched out her legs, glancing down at the pale expanse of her bare knees and the tan shorts that covered the top half of her thighs. She hadn't been doing much laundry lately, so she was all out of cheery colored clothing. Her top was red, which she bleakly rationalized might be useful for hiding stains if anything ever did happen. "Yo, Aoba-san. How are you?"

The man gave a rather disapproving look at her boots on the couch cushion. A little sheepishly, Aiko moved them to the floor and straightened with exaggerated care. Only then did he give her a faint smile. "I am doing well, Aiko-san. Are-"

"Uzumaki, you're joining the group on the main gate," a Chuunin read off a clipboard disinterestedly. She flipped her dark ponytail over her shoulder and traced a finger down the paper, and glanced up to check the other occupants. "Yuuhi, Aoba, you're required in the Hokage's office. Kenta…"

Aiko silently got up and gave Aoba a little wave over her shoulder, not wanting to say anything over the woman who was still reading off new orders.

She paced the top of the wall in a circuit that overlapped with the ones being walked by a Chuunin she didn't know and a girl she recognized as one of Lee and Neji's classmates. Aiko couldn't help occasionally glancing down at the guard desk. For once, it wasn't manned. There was no point when the doors were closed and there were exponentially more guards around in more defensible positions.

It was hard to know if she should be more regretful that her tendency to glance down at the unoccupied desk meant that she saw nothing coming or guiltily thankful that she'd just turned around at the end of her circuit. Being hundreds of feet north of the large doors that marked the main gate saved her life. One second, she was glancing away from the treeline to see the empty streets below, and the next a beam of white hot light had blown through the gate and a section of the wall on either side.

Aiko nearly lost her balance, jerking to the side with the percussive force as cracks shot through the stone wall. Enormous chunks of gray stone crumbled and tumbled into the village proper, flattening the guard house and breaking a flowering tree in half like a toothpick.

Shock did what the force hadn't. Aiko stumbled backwards and landed on her ass, hands by her hips and knees partially bent. And she just stared.

There was no one there. In a literal sense. The girl who had been behind her was just gone. Vaporized. There wasn't even blood spatter.

"Oh my god," Aiko whispered, momentarily stunned. Her eyes stung painfully from the dust and debris. It took a moment for her mind to catch on to the change in the situation. She scrambled back to her feet and bounded through the clearing smoke to get a better look, and tried her best to ignore that her heart was pounding all the way up in her throat.

When she felt foreign chakra flicker across her senses, it was hard to believe that she had ever failed to feel it coming. A single man stood there, just for an instant, implacable and impassive on the ground just outside the tree-line with one arm extended- and _detached_. And then the world seemed to explode with movement.

Aiko shrieked and dropped low, rolling away from the thousands of pounds of gray scales that rocketed over the wall and into the city. She caught a glimpse of an orange stripe on its side, but it was a literal blur.

' _What the fuck is that thing?_ ' The view was poor from below, but it was enormous. She might have called it a lizard, if lizards could grow to the size of buildings.

It wasn't alone. Down in the south, the wall was being breached in multiple positions by other oversized animals. A bird of some sort flew over and fucking snatched up a man in its mouth like he was a potato chip, swallowing him down as it beat its wings and soared upwards, out of reach. Most horribly, a crab with a glistening pale underbelly scuttled along the wall with claws held high and picked off anyone unwary or slow enough.

The bulky man standing outside the gate took slow, horrible steps in, unchallenged. Aiko put a shaky hand to her thigh pouch, reaching for her orange-handled kunai, and tried not to wonder how she had been missed when those animals had cut through the rest of her co-workers like they were made of tissue paper. She felt very small and insignificant.

And that feeling was exponentially worse an instant later, when five more men in Akatsuki cloaks stepped out of the tree-line to flank the nin who had taken down the gate. Had one of them summoned those animals, or had that been the bald man as well? Aiko stared for a moment, completely lost and out of her depth.

She thought she'd known a fair bit about Akatsuki. But there were six people she didn't recognize walking into Konoha like they owned the place.

' _Oh no wait, I recognize that one,'_ Aiko realized dazedly. On the side opposite her, flanking the tallest man, walked the man she knew as Pein. The cold-fingered freak who'd dangled her by her neck in Akatsuki's headquarters.

Bizarrely, despite their physical dissimilarities, all the men below shared a few odd traits beyond the Akatsuki wardrobe. They were all heavily pierced, though in different patterns, and despite being worn in various styles (excluding the one bald man), their visible hair was all… It was all..

Pein's gaze lifted- and for a second, she thought that he saw her. Aiko's heart jumped into her throat, and she straightened. If he was going to kill her, she wasn't going to die cowering behind rubble. Despite her suspicions that she was about to die, he didn't make a move towards her. Both of his hands lifted slightly, and his mouth moved. The five figures at his side swayed bizarrely and flopped to the ground like puppets. Which was _weird_. She couldn't hear what Pein said through the distance, smoke, and sound of screams and shinobi fighting those oversized freaks of nature.

She didn't have to. The world shifted far beyond what any human should be able to accomplish, and Aiko knew he'd done it. She didn't know how, but it was him. The next thing she knew was that the ground was shaking, and that she had been thrown several hundred feet, away from Konoha, away from the epicenter of _whatever the fuck_ had just been done to her hometown.

The grand wall that had already been breached was still largely intact, miraculously. The outskirts of Konoha were covered in debris. Everything inside of that was gone. Worse than gone, it was an enormous crater where hundreds of buildings used to be. Motion-sick and disturbed on a level she couldn't articulate, Aiko shakingly leaned over and vomited, holding onto the grass with her fingers as if she thought the world was about to change directions again leaving her falling into the sky.

The force of that…something… had thrown her outside of Konoha's boundaries, behind the six men who were outside the ruined gate.

From behind, the oddity of their shared coloring was even more obvious, now that she couldn't see that they looked nothing alike as the five that had fallen over crawled to their feet. Self consciously, Aiko brought a hand up to her head, as if considering pulling a lock of hair into view to color check. Within a few shades, her hair color matched that on the set of men striding up. Did it mean something that all those men had the same coloring? If they'd all been brunet, she wouldn't have had a second thought about it.

An instant later, she dismissed it as coincidence summoned up by her irrational frame of mind. It was just hair. That little bit of logical thinking didn't mean she knew what to do.

She wanted to sink down into the ground and die. Hope that they didn't notice her. It didn't seem… there was no way that she could fight those people. Clinically, she knew that she was panicking and needed to calm down. That didn't mean she could.

' _I guess… I'm a coward after all,'_ Aiko thought a little hysterically, shaking severely and not even trying to calm her breathing. _'I don't see how anyone can fight that kind of reckless destruction. If we hadn't evacuated, that man would have…'_ Her thoughts trailed off, as she realized with a dim sort of horror that many genin and Chuunin would have been held back to hold the inner city as a last line of defense if the Jounin failed.

' _Oh god. They're all dead. Hundreds of people are just dead.'_

From one moment to another, almost an entire generation of Konoha's rising shinobi was just gone.

Slowly, inexorably, the six men in front of her fanned out and walked through the enormous break in the gate, not sparing a look for the devastation or the animals that were still wreaking havoc in Konoha's outskirts.

What could she do? What _should_ she do? Desperately, Aiko struggled to relate anything in her training to this situation. She was outclassed. Running at the six Akatsuki would earn her a hilariously quick and pointless death. It was still an option. But Konoha was famous for teamwork. That meant she should find reinforcements, right? And report to Tsunade to share what little information she had?

* * *

The sensor squad got Tsunade a message several minutes before the wall exploded inwards. Tsunade leapt to her feet and was already en route to meet the invaders personally, with Shizune at her right and Jiraiya at her left. She'd been half-expecting this for days, so on edge that her heart leapt into her throat every time that someone moved towards her office too quickly.

A full ANBU squad intercepted her on the way, led by the last person she expected. Tsunade felt the blood drain out of her face. Her mind raced and her eyes darted between the slightly bent figure of her childhood hero and the masked men who stood proudly at his side.

"Sensei?" she asked, heart twisting.

Hiruzen seemed to guess her thoughts. "There is no time, Tsunade-chan," he told her softly, wrinkled fingers struggling to properly fasten the buckles on the equipment pouch on his thin hips.

Her throat felt thick. _'What do I do? He can't fight. He's too old, he's not in good condition. Sensei will die if he participates. Does he even know what's going on?'_

Jiraiya put a warm, oversized hand on her shoulder, and for once she didn't begrudge the invasion of her personal space. The man who had made her into the kunoichi she was today looked back with a largely steady gaze that told her he understood enough. He knew that Konoha was in danger. Sarutobi Hiruzen had sworn to protect Konoha and its people when he took office as Hokage.

She couldn't tell him to cower while the people he thought of as his children fought and died. Tsunade swallowed and nodded, blinking to force down tears.

"Be careful, sensei," she said uselessly, knowing that he wouldn't. Her teacher gave her a reassuring smile that really shouldn't have made her feel any better. Tsunade was a medic. She knew perfectly well that no matter how lucid he was at the moment, a man who was nearly eighty years old shouldn't be engaging in S-class fights.

Jiraiya didn't say anything touchy-feely as he was no doubt aching to, but he gave his teacher a slow nod. "Don't worry about a thing, Tsunade-hime. I don't see how we could lose with two Hokage and so many good shinobi here to protect the village." He pulled one of his cocky grins, and Tsunade had to marvel at his ability to feign happiness.

Instead of complimenting him, she elbowed his ribs gently in what he would recognize as wordless thanks. "Let's go. Sandaime-sama, you're taking control of ANBU, then?"

"I gathered the off-duty ANBU I could find," he said mildly. "I believe that we will be seeing support from the more experienced clan shinobi soon."

And that was that, because an oversized ray of light burst through the village and took a section of wall tumbling with it. Tsunade's heart dropped in her chest, and she ran through the smoke and rubble that hung in the air and obscured her vision. A massive influx of chakra welled out of nowhere and made her quite sure that the sensor team had been mistaken in saying that there was one intruder. It seemed like hours in the dim madness—her retinue ran into a horrifically oversized beast with gray scales and far too many legs. She didn't have to see it knocking over buildings by lashing its tail in order to know that it needed to die.

Tsunade didn't waste time, leaping at the thing herself. Another shinobi would have had to find a way to figure out the beast's weakest point, or work with peers to scrounge together enough destructive force to put a dent in its hide. She leapt up the side of one of the brick structures that still stood, and crossed the distance in the air to land on the thing's back. And then she shattered its spine with a stomp of her foot. The beast collapsed like a puppet without strings.

"At least it didn't get very far in," Shizune offered, sounding angry when Tsunade jumped back down to join the group making their way towards the breach in security.

There was no time for a response. There was only the sense of intense pressure hanging in the air, enormous sound not completely unlike an explosion, and then the realization that she was looking up at the dimmed sky. Dazed, Tsunade took a moment to climb to her feet. When she did, she almost wished she hadn't.

"It's gone," Hiruzen whispered, being helped to his feet by an ANBU in a crow mask. "It's.."

Tsunade swallowed tears—anger and loss—and steeled herself. What was gone was Konoha. The Academy, the tower, her childhood home… it was all gone. A goddamn hole in the ground replaced it.

Someone had to pay for this.

Sarutobi-sensei padded lightly just behind Tsunade when she halted to stare, trying to get her bearings in the confusion. "Orders, Hokage-sama?" her teacher asked, tone forced into calm.

"Pick a target," Tsunade mumbled, feeling a bit disoriented. This hadn't been a situation she had planned for. No one could plan for this. "Shizune, stay with Sandaime-sama and his team in case they need medical assistance." No one said anything about that. It did seem redundant to have the village's two best medics in one place. "Jiraiya and I will head for the-" She jerked and flung a hand out, nearly knocking the girl who'd just appeared back ten feet. Aiko side-stepped just in time, frightfully pale and turquoise eyes wide in her face, pupils dilated in obvious fear.

All three of the kage-level shinobi who had moved relaxed.

"Aiko-chan?" Jiraiya reached out and put a hand on the girl's head. Tsunade pressed her lips together. That wasn't particularly professional, but there would be no point in scolding him.

But the girl would probably react better to structure at the moment, judging by her nearly fearful body language. When a shinobi was on the verge of panicking, it was better to snap them back into a duty mindset than try to comfort them. Especially since there was work to be done.

"Uzumaki, report." Tsunade ignored the disappointed look her old teammate gave her for her unsympathetic tone. It worked—Aiko straightened under Jiraiya's oversized paw and blinked up at her lucidly.

"Six intruders breached the East gate," Aiko began, intense in her sudden focus and looking much more pulled together. Tsunade quietly approved of the compartmentalization. "All of the intruders but one are red-headed males. The individual who breached the wall was a large man with no hair. He used some sort of explosive pulse from a detached arm. I didn't see if the individual who summoned the animals was that man or one of the others. I only recognized one of them as Akatsuki, but they all wear the cloak. The man I recognize was the one the other Akatsuki referred to as their leader, Pein." She paused for a moment, before adding, "I think he was the one who did… this." Aiko's eyes flickered to the destruction and then away just as rapidly.

Jiraiya and Tsunade exchanged looks. They didn't have to be sensors at this point to know that the intruders were separating. The oversized animals were all but rioting in the remaining streets, engaging any shinobi that sought them out, but the human intruders were staying to the very outskirts of town, attempting to encircle them.

It wasn't hard to suppose that they didn't want to allow that to happen.

"I will seek out the bald man who took down our gates," Sarutobi-sensei suggested, before bowing his head slightly. "If that is acceptable with you, Hokage-sama."

' _That's so bizarre.'_

Ignoring the discomfort that hearing her teacher defer to her inspired, Tsunade inclined her head in a nod. "More than acceptable. The rest of us will head to the bulk of the intruders." Three of the intruders were hanging strangely close together. They needed to be separated. Jiraiya and Tsunade as a team were nearly undefeatable—with backup from a few other high level shinobi, they should be able to overwhelm the other force.

Hiruzen and his backup splintered westward without another word. It took forty seconds for Tsunade's group to come into view of the devastation at ground zero for the attack.

Yamanaka Inoichi's ponytail whipped behind him as he swiveled to see the new arrivals. He managed a look of relief before his opponent came too close. Then he grunted in mild surprise, barely evading the whirling blows from one of the orange-haired Akatsuki.

It was positively eerie, Tsunade thought as she leapt into the fray, and would have been even if the intruders didn't maintain a strict silence. The attackers all had the same pale skin and orange hair, but they couldn't be related. Their facial features were too varied.

Their taijutsu style seemed to be all the same, however, which was downright unlikely. It was best described as powerful and fast. Tsunade bared her teeth aggressively into the face of the long-haired man who had leapt to engage her, holding the hand that would have broken her bones into dozens of pieces had she been anyone else trying to catch the blow.

Jiraiya moved in a blur, throwing off the Akatsuki who had come directly behind Tsunade in an attempt to pin her between the two. She cast up a quick thanks that her teammate had her back, grappling with her opponent and tossing him directly into the air with barely a thought.

She shouldn't have looked away from her opponent, no matter what she heard. But the sound that came ripping out of Akimichi Choza's mouth was downright inhuman.

The tableau was grim. Shikaku Naru's face was frozen in a rictus of shock even as a streak of black across the ground froze one of the red-headed Akatsuki into the same wide stance the dark-haired man was holding. Yamanaka Inoichi hit the ground face up with a soft thud, mouth open in surprise and blood trailing out his eyes and ears.

' _He tried to possess one of them,'_ she realized numbly, barely focusing on her own fight enough to leap up to bat the man she'd flung like a cat toy horizontally across the battlefield.

There was no mistaking that, though she had no idea how it had been done. The blonde man was dead. Akimichi Choza was gaining red color and mass rapidly, clearly ready to crush the Akatsuki like a bug.

And then a flicker of orange crossed the field, and the Akatsuki was gone.

So was Aiko.

* * *

The moment she realized that one of the three men who she had found her way back to was Pein, Aiko felt physically ill. He had to die. He was the leader. She was sure he'd been the one to flatten the village. Maybe the others would give up without him to give them orders. But he was already fighting the three clan heads. Jiraiya and Tsunade were tag-teaming the Akatsuki with the longest hair. That left the other for her. She had to do her job.

Aiko sped through hand-seals in less than a heartbeat, moving towards the man who was closing on Tsunade. Running straight towards her real target in a predictable trajectory would be stupid. As soon as she'd gotten the last seal out, she forced a glob of chakra down her right wrist in the instant that she re-oriented to the last Akatsuki. Her hand lit up with the faint light refracting off the mock icicles that coated her fingers in a constantly moving mass. She brought it directly into the center of the Akatsuki's back- and then hiraishin'd away before the attack had bored more than two inches into his flesh.

The retreat had been a good move. Her opponent had whirled around with a fist that would have snapped her arm like a twig had she still been there.

With her actual, un-augmented speed, she couldn't hope to compete with this man, Aiko judged grimly. With Hiraishin… well, she'd have to kill him before he could figure out any attack patterns and predict her, because he was fast enough to still pose a significant threat. And were all the intruders like this?

' _What is with Akatsuki being unnecessarily scary?_ ' she thought, just mildly hysterical. Her opponent lunged toward her, hardly seeming inconvenienced by the gouge she'd taken out of his flesh. That was insane. She'd torn into his spine and the muscles that protected it.

' _I wonder if telling him that he can't fight through that kind of injury would convince him to stand down?'_ Aiko forced down the laugh that bubbled up and tried to regulate her shaking breath, and fluttered out of her opponent's reach, several hundred feet away. He immediately re-oriented to her and wheeled around—and her attention was torn away to the source of a horrible shriek.

It didn't sound like something that should come out of Choza's mouth. He was… That just didn't make sense.

She cut across the field behind her opponent, getting a better view. Aiko only stayed in that position for the space of a thought, just long enough to see Yamanaka-san sprawling in the dirt.

' _I was right,_ ' Aiko realized numbly, not feeling the horror she knew she should. _'Pein is the most dangerous.'_

That made him top priority. She had to get rid of him. That didn't mean she could really fight him. He would swat her down like a fly. She couldn't hope to compete with him. It was insane that she had ever thought she could compete with people like this. She'd just watched a better ninja than herself try and fail. (And oh god, Ino, who was going to tell Ino).

But she didn't have to win a fight with him. She just had to get him out of the way. He was probably the one coordinating the attack.

Aiko didn't think. She lunged forward with Hiraishin, twisted her fingers into the back of the frozen man's cloak, and pulled him as far away from Konoha as she could manage. With the large concentration of Hiraishin seals on her allies in a circle that must be the surroundings of Ame's borders, that probably meant she was standing somewhere north of Ame.

She didn't have time to feel triumphant before something collided with her back, knocking the back of her skull painfully. Her teeth ground together even as something was cracking in her ribs and shoulders. Her vision was white. There was no air. There was nothing but pain against her back and heat against her front where she'd been inadvertently pushed into Pein's back.

 _How did he do that?_ He couldn't possibly have predicted she would move them here.

The ringing in her ears made it hard to tell if anything else was happening or how long the pause in movement lasted—it felt like a hundred years, but if it had been more than a second Pein would have turned around and killed her.

' _Oh god. He's going to kill me,'_ was quickly followed by, ' _fuck no.'_ She lurched away with a rather pathetic Hiraishin—and hit her knees even before she'd been able to note she'd gotten away, falling over to curl on her side. Aiko nearly rolled onto her back, but the creaking feeling in her chest and biting pain wouldn't allow that. Something wet trickled around the shell of her ear.

' _My keen intuition tells me that now is an excellent time to stop for a moment. Not just because I can't breathe. Air, who needs air?'_

She tried her best to breathe shallowly so as not to disturb her ribs while still trying to breathe deeply to get oxygen to combat the emptiness in her lungs and white at the edges of her vision.

It took time for that struggle to fade away, though there was no way to measure that time. Aiko struggled to her feet, and turned her face in the direction that must be Konoha.

' _If it wasn't almost dry here, I would say I was in Ame,_ ' she thought, licking her lips. Strange. She was south of the tags that told her where Naruto and Kakashi and their teams were, who should have been stationed on the south edge of Ame's borders. That should mean she was in Grass country, shouldn't it?

' _I'm so terrible with directions,_ ' Aiko thought. ' _I even know that doesn't make sense and I can't see how I'm wrong. I really need to get as many seals up as possible.'_

She choked back a laugh, and instantly regretted the brief amusement.

"Right," she wheezed to herself at a tone that was barely audible, taking as big of a breath as possible to stabilize. "Gotta go home and help." Experimentally, she gave a couple of stretches, making sure she still had her full range of motion.

But god, what could she hope to do? Better her than Naruto, better that a hundred buildings fell than that Pein got his claws into her little brother; but the fearful part of her mind was asking _how was her going back to die_ against Akatsuki in Konoha going to help?

It had to be in her head, but the ink on her chest felt almost warm. Aiko splayed her fingers over the tattoo, struck dumb by the thought. It was a possibility. Not a good one, no. But were there any good options?

The Akatsuki weren't going to stop until they had what they wanted. Destroying Konoha would be a major blow for them and probably tear the alliance apart. Naruto would instantly become the most vulnerable jinchuuriki. Unacceptable.

' _On the bright side, maybe they'll give up without their leader,_ ' Aiko thought optimistically in the instant before she flicked back to Konoha. Pein wasn't going to be able to run to Konoha in time to finish that battle. He wasn't terribly close to the Konoha teams around Ame, either. The distance would have to be measured in hours—he wouldn't be surprising any team with Karin on it, and they'd been prepared to fight Akatsuki anyway. This was just restoring equilibrium.

The only seals that had survived in Konoha were the ones in the forests outside the village and the one on Hoseki's collar. Her options were therefore decidedly limited. She erred on the side of landing outside of the gates instead of too close to the shelter where her ninken was waiting. Kami only knew that she didn't need to make them a target by indicating there was anything interesting there.

When she blinked in air that stank of soot instead of hanging heavy with damp, she was glad for the precaution. There was fire in Konoha. Better to have to run than materialize in the middle of an attack.

* * *

Pein stood on the strangely dry sod in the country of his birth and frowned. Almost absentmindedly, he allowed the boulder he'd summoned to his person with his repulsion abilities to drop to the ground. It thudded a half inch into the dry ground with nary a squelch.

"That was most unpleasant," he mused quietly, regaining his bearings. "I should not have allowed the girl to touch me."

Had she been as quick to think and attack as she was to move, he may have been injured. There were more pressing issues than her ultimately pointless actions, however. The Animal path could summon him back to Konoha at any moment if he desired. Right now it was more critical to find out what had happened in Ame. Specifically…

' _Why has Kisame allowed the rain to stop?_ ' Pein bled his chakra into the air, and allowed water to percolate. He took a deep breath and let it rise, rise, rise, to spread and coat his country. Then he allowed it to rain down, infused with his inquisitive chakra.

What he found shook him. Akatsuki was gone from the country. Pein barely maintained his hold on the rain, the lurch in his control a feat in and of itself, when it was remembered that he had been ensuring the land of Ame rained for years.

Konan, gone. Kisame, gone. Kakuzu, and Hidan, gone. But… Itachi had not left. Pein made an aborted step in his direction with the half-thought of seeking information before stilling uncertainly. Itachi was surrounded by other powerful chakra signatures. They were not familiar signatures, but he could guess as to whom they belonged. The cowards from Konoha, Suna, Kiri, and Kumo who had been blocking his doorstep for weeks had dared enter his home while he was away. And they had succeeded. Pein took a wavering step forward, mind twisted by grief and shock and self-recrimination. What kind of god failed to notice such a thing? What kind of god allowed his people to suffer? He had sworn to protect the people of Ame country, but they were clearly now under the control of foreign military personnel.

' _Itachi… have you been captured, or have you betrayed me?'_

Oddly, that sent a lump of something like sorrow into his chest. With spectacularly poor timing, the realization that one of his paths had been destroyed rocketed across his consciousness. The Asura path had been facing the old Hokage, and was now lost.

Shock warred with doubt. Where-is-Konan-Have-I-left-her-to-die-alone-I-need-to-find-Konan. No, she had to be alive. Konan was sentimental. If she had known their base was lost, she would have retrieved what she could and fled. He had to believe she was alive. He knew her like he knew his hands: she would have gone to one of their secret bunkers to wait for him to return.

For the first time in many years, Nagato didn't know what to do. For the moment at least, the Animal and Human paths were holding their own against the Sannin. The Preta path was roaming nearly unchallenged in Konoha, keeping the Naraka path safe in case its healing abilities were needed.

He thought they wouldn't be much good now. The images that the Asura path had transmitted in its final moments had indicated that the canny old man was doing some kinjutsu that called upon the shinigami himself. That aspect was gone.

"All my plans," Nagato noted dazedly, looking up to the sky and catching water on his face. The Human path was taking a beating from the Sannin. If they grew wise, they might defeat it. Did he even care anymore? What had he done, by abandoning Ame? He hated Konoha for what they had done to Yahiko and his dreams, but was their destruction worth this failure?

He had to see. He had to see what had become of the village he had protected in Yahiko's place. The villagers… there were far fewer than there should have been. Pein knew every man, woman, and child like they were a member of his own familiar, had intimately caressed their budding chakra signatures with rain for years. Fourteen civilians were missing- dead or out of the country. He had to see.

* * *

Karin gave a startled curse and dropped her water bottle, face involuntarily turning to the northeast. A moment later, she redirected her gaze to the south. Most of the people nearby weren't paying her much attention. But most of them weren't Kakashi.

Kakashi had frozen, almost painfully alert, waiting for her news. But he wasn't patient. "Karin, what's wrong?" he bit out, casting a wary glance in the direction she was still staring.

The girl was faintly green. "We have two visitors," Karin said in a very small voice. "I-I think Aiko brought the Akatsuki leader back to Ame. She was by the scary signature the moment that it appeared, but now she's down there, and he's still up there." She jerked her hand in two directions, the ones that she had been looking in. "The- neither of them is moving."

"They're… just standing there?" Kakashi repeated dubiously. That didn't make any sense. A single drop of rain hit his head, digging through his hair to slip down his scalp. He'd barely noticed the anomaly by the time that the sudden drop had turned into a downpour. Ice slipped down his spine, even though the air wasn't particularly cold by his standards.

"Yes, I-" Karin blinked, and shook her head. "The Akatsuki is coming here," she reported quietly.

"And Aiko?" Kakashi asked tiredly, expecting to hear that she was gone or to see her appear in their midst to tell them that she was sorry, but that she hadn't known they'd moved into Ame and she hadn't meant to dump an A-class criminal on them.

The redhead shook her head, looking unnerved. "She's perfectly still." Karin frowned. "In the middle of nowhere," she added dubiously. "Which makes no sense, of course. There's no reason for her to stand around in Ame. And her signature… well, it isn't optimal, but she's hardly dying." Karin shrugged helplessly. "At a guess, I would say she's taking a breather?"

Kakashi pressed his lips together tightly to keep in the colorful situational assessment that wanted to be spoken.

Either Aiko had been out and about and ran into the Akatsuki and decided to take him back to Ame, like a conscientious shopper returning a lost wallet, or Akatsuki had gone to Konoha. He knew which option he preferred and which option seemed more likely.

' _Now would be an excellent time for some communication,_ ' he thought irritably.

"Karin, get Sasuke."

She left without a word, running after the three who were currently serving as a patrol team for their new and not entirely friendly territory. He paced like a trapped lion, rousing Yamato and Genma (they had been running night shifts) and sending them out to get everyone ready for a possible altercation.

Why wasn't Aiko coming to tell them what had happened? Konoha should have had word from his ninken, or would very soon. It was possible that Konoha didn't know the borders had changed yet, of course, but unlikely.

It just didn't make sense. Having an intruder in the village would have made it difficult or impossible to conduct regular business and efficiently managed orders and communication, but almost all of the Akatsuki were accounted for, and the actual shinobi of Ame had surrendered after only skirmishing. If the most powerful Akatsuki had been returned to Ame, then there would be nothing more time-sensitive for Aiko than finding his team and telling them that the Akatsuki leader had been returned to Ame. Of course, she could have assumed that they would know via Karin…

"Sasuke, summon Katsuya and find out what's going on from Tsunade," he ordered snappishly as soon as the boy returned with Karin, Naruto and Yamato. Sasuke made a face, but obligingly moved to run through the handseals to summon his familiar. "Karin, update. Has anything changed?"

The redhead tilted her head slightly and let her eyes get a bit distant. "Um, the scar- the Akatsuki," she corrected, clearly embarrassed. "Anyway, he's still on course to intercept us. We won't be seeing him for a while, but he isn't slowing down. Aiko only spent a couple of minutes here. She's gone."

' _Well, at least that means she isn't laying somewhere in the middle of the country bleeding out,'_ he thought facetiously.

"Kakashi, Katsuya isn't responding." Sasuke looked downright bewildered. "She's never not answered."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "I guess the old lady is working with her?" he half-asked, moving to summon one of his contracted toads without being asked. The animal that showed up was disconcertingly large. Kakashi barely stepped back in time. "Yo, Gamakichi," Naruto greeted casually, clearly unfazed by the horrifying size of his summons. "Could you find the pervert and find out what's going on in Konoha?"

The toad released a put-upon sigh, but nodded. "Okay, boss," he rumbled long-sufferingly. "One message coming up." In an offensively-scented puff of smoke, he disappeared.

Kakashi put his hands in his pockets to hide the tenseness and strain in his muscles while they waited. And waited. And waited.

Looking irritated, Naruto called his summons back after ten minutes of awkward silence. "What the hell?" he snapped, putting his hands on his hips.

The toad looked sheepish. "I… yah." He fidgeted. "Jiraiya told me not to talk to you." He brightened up a bit, turning around to look at the others standing around. "I can talk to the Hatake brat, though," Gamakichi added cheerily. "That's what he said! So, which one of you is the brat? You all kinda look alike."

Genma choked a little, but said nothing. Kakashi aimed a scalding glare at him anyway. "Everyone, clear out," he decided. "That means you, Naruto." The blond gave him a mutinous look, but let Sasuke tug him out of sight. He turned back to the toad once they were alone. "What's going on?"

The toad glanced guiltily in the direction his summoner had left, and then flexed his webbed toes. "Five or six Akatsuki are in Konoha," he confided solemnly. "I'm not sure on the details, it was a little confusing and busy. Dad's there. Anyway." Gamakichi shook himself. "It's bad. Really bad. They evacuated days ago, so the civilian casualties are minimalized, but the buildings are all gone."

It took a moment to be sure he had heard correctly.

"Pardon?" Kakashi asked weakly, raising one hand to his neck. "The buildings are-"

"All gone, yes," the toad confirmed irritably, digging its fingers into the ground. "It's a crater."

"Unfathomable," Kakashi muttered quietly, trying to wrap his head around the idea.

Damage to the village he could understand. The Kyuubi had done terrible harm to the village's infrastructure. But the village was a crater? Konoha had stood for generations. In terms of space, it was one of the largest hidden villages. And how had they misplaced so many Akatsuki?

Gamakichi snorted. "I don't think that word means what you think it means. You wouldn't be so pale if you couldn't fathom it."

He gave the toad a dirty look. At times like this, the amphibian inability to register the seriousness of a situation grated on his nerves. Still, the information was useful.

"I assume Jiraiya didn't want Naruto running back to Konoha and basically handing himself over to Akatsuki with a nice pink bow?" Kakashi drawled, trying to figure out what should be done. He couldn't send any support to Konoha when they were on the verge of having to engage in their own fight. But it was more important to do what they could to keep the villagers and surviving comrades safe than it was to hold a newly gained territory.

"Sounds about right," Gamakichi admitted sheepishly.


	102. Slightly Less Famous Last Words

I'm sorry this took so long. I'm at a strange time in my life. Thank you for all the reviews and messages with kind words! They kept making me cringe guiltily and remember that I had to get back to this. There are a couple of people who can go lick a lamppost in winter for all I are, but that's just the state of life, I think. In any case, this is a nice long chapter for you guys, complete with at least one heart attack. Seriously, if I don't surprise you at least once before the helpful little box that says 'review', I have completely failed.

* * *

Author's Note

Okay, so I dropped a ball in regards to the specifics of Pein's techniques. I had no idea about the range problem that reviewers helpfully brought up.

I sat in a corner for a while and was very sad, trying to figure out how to fix it. I can't, exactly. I just can't, because I'm in love with Nagato's realization that something has gone terribly wrong, and that moment when he first starts to doubt what's going on. I don't want to change that.

But I minimalized the booboo. In the first version of the last chapter, which you've probably all read unless you're really weird or reading this like a year from now, there was the throw-away detail that Konan made off with Nagato's real body to protect him from the Konoha/Suna/whoever nin. That's been taken out. We can all now assume that Nagato is in the vicinity of Konoha, and that Konan is either going to a rendezvous spot or trying to find Pein or other Akatsuki. However, let's pretend for the sake of my sad and meticulously organized but apparently bone-headed plot, that Yahiko's body, as the one that Nagato uses as his face and has given the most totally rad abilities, is more versatile than the rest and doesn't have to be as close to the real body. Hopefully, most of you either don't care or can accept the deviation.

If you can't accept that, then you probably wouldn't have made it to chapter 102 of a _violently_ alternate universe take on Naruto. So I don't really have an option for that opinion. Thank you, attentive and thoughtful readers, for sharing your insights. They make us all better.

* * *

Konoha looked like something from a post-apocalyptic movie. Aiko grimly pressed her lips together and tried not to breathe in more smoke than she had to, waving her hand in front of her face to try to get some visibility. It didn't help much.

' _I could have picked a better location, apparently,'_ she noted, trying to figure out the layout of whatever fights were still going on. At least it didn't seem like Konoha had rolled over to die while she'd been gone. That was a little heartening. Orienting was difficult, but she was relatively certain that the massive multi-Kage level shinobi fight she noticed was only slightly north of where she had left Jiraiya and Tsunade. She used subtle clues, like the enormous toad looming through the distant fog and the occasional spout of fire, in order to come to that conclusion.

It didn't require a degree in astrophysics to figure out that removing Pein from the equation hadn't ended the conflict. Tsunade and Jiraiya were still fighting at least one Akatsuki, probably with assistance from Choza, Inoichi, and…

Aiko's heart skipped a beat.

Right. Well, Choza and Shikaku were probably still fine. She firmly steered her mind away from the obvious caveat. She couldn't deal with that now.

Akatsuki was more time-sensitive. That problem could still be affected. Aiko couldn't raise the dead or do more than give platitudes. She could try to take out an Akatsuki, though.

She set off at a careful run for the nearest fight, keeping a wary eye out for an ambush. The caution was wasted. Pein and his cronies had cut through her comrades with what seemed to be vicious efficiency. What activity she could pick out seemed to be desperate and last-ditch, when it wasn't injured survivors scrabbling for cover.

There only seemed to be one more major fight going on. Whether that meant that the Hokage was fighting four shinobi or that some Akatsuki had been killed was up for debate. She passed the still forms of more than one large animal. That might have been cause for celebration, if they hadn't been surrounded by dead Konoha nin. Some of whom she recognized. Not many, though. Aiko pressed on.

' _It's almost amazing that a city could be leveled like this in a day,'_ she thought, biting back tears. She wasn't that attached to Konoha in specific, really. But she'd lived here as long as she could remember. Somehow, it hurt to see that the village would never be the same, even before she figured in the additional grief from losing so many people. Good people, dumb people, young people, loyal people… Just people, really.

Pein really was a monster. She hated him for doing this. How could he? There wasn't even any point to what he'd done. She was almost too tired for her earlier panic, though. That change in attitude might have had something to do with the fact that her head was still bleeding and that white spots veered slowly across her vision whenever she took a deep breath, however.

She had been right at the start. It was unrealistic to think that she could fight Akatsuki. She wasn't an S-class nin. She was a joke with good genes and a few fancy tricks passed down from her betters. At this point, it felt like she was running to one last kamikaze attack.

What else was there to do? Aiko probably couldn't stop them if they wanted to press forward and slaughter the trapped civilians, genin, and other valuable assets trapped inside the safehouses. But if she didn't even try…

Aiko swallowed, hard, and tried not to think of Fukiko lying cold and still. Or Ino, who still didn't know that… Well. Still didn't know the bad news. She didn't deserve to die like that, without even a chance to fight back. No one did.

' _Did I just talk myself into suicide by Akatsuki?_ ' Aiko wondered sardonically, slowing down to creep carefully towards the flickering signatures and occasional jutsu of the fight she'd been picking her way towards.

She only saw the combatants once she cleared a ridge formed of bent rebar and drywall. The Akatsuki she found was shorter than both of his opponents, hefty and with his red hair slicked back into a ponytail. The unathletic body type was deceptive, however. He seemed to be doing quite well, keeping either shinobi from hitting him, blocking and dodging with smooth perfection.

Konoha's teams were notorious for doubling up on their opponents and out-maneuvering them instead of getting hobbled by their superior numbers. That training was probably why Yukimasa and Anko weren't dead. Aiko wouldn't claim to know either person's full abilities, but she knew enough to be able to tell that they were both weary and suffering minor injuries.

A more level-headed, detached, and maybe even more intelligent shinobi might have taken advantage of the distraction that they presented to lure the Akatsuki into a trap or attack from the shadows. Aiko saw the earth gape under Anko's feet, and darted forward without thought except of helping.

The rescue was unnecessary, and she barreled into sight without any benefit to mitigate the loss of tactical surprise. Neither of her comrades seemed to care, although they didn't have time to stop and talk. Aiko threw herself into the rote motions of Konoha basic taijutsu with a vengeance, adopting the patterns she had been drilled in for years. Attacks were complementary to the hand combat, not surprises for the team to work around. Anko was in the first position, Yukimasa the second, so Aiko added the third to their set. That addition provided more opportunities to obscure where attacks would be coming from and disorient their opponent.

The relief when she joined her comrades was palpable—with two Konoha nin, they were holding their own against a superior opponent. With three, there should be openings and opportunities to get hits in. Of course, that meant that their opponent would be more desperate to get rid of one of them to restore the previous odds.

What advantage Konoha gained with their polished ability to double and triple-team opponents they lost in predictability. A team that relied on the series of openings and turn-taking that was engendered in the academy couldn't compare to the polish of a team with chemistry and complementary skills. It was no small feat that none of them got caught in anyone else's path, but the Akatsuki seemed to have some level of familiarity with Konoha's styles. They whirled around him, but hardly had a chance to connect. Anko got the first blow- a strike against his arm—and their opponent seemed unaffected.

Something had to give.

* * *

' _Annoying.'_ Nagato growled, torn. He was almost to the interlopers in his country. But the damned Sannin were about to kill the Animal path. If he didn't have it summon him back before it fell, then he would be completely removed from Konoha. He had to focus on Konoha. Bitterly and begrudgingly, he stopped running and focused on the Rinnegan connection between himself and that borne by the Animal path.

He stopped seeing the sodden marshland in front of him and started seeing the Human path darting forward, working desperately to keep both Sannin away from the Animal path while he stood still and rushed through a summoning.

The Human path didn't quite succeed, but Pein's favored path stood on a dusty bit of metal in Konoha an instant before Jiraiya's toad oil bullet ruined the Animal body and flung it like a broken doll to lay still on the ground. The Human path's desperate ploy proved to be its last, having gotten far too close to the slug sannin. It too fell, though it was not as damaged. If it were to be healed, it could rejoin the fight.

Pein thinned his lips and sought out the Naraka path. It had backtracked to protect his real body, providing assistance to the Ame genjutsu specialists who had been meant to keep it safe. Apparently, some red-eyed woman had led an attack suspiciously close to the vulnerable body. She was dead now, of course, but she must have communicated to someone else because the Konoha nin kept trickling in that direction whenever they managed to dig themselves out of rubble or put down one of the Animal path's summons. With the animal path out of commission, all the animal summonings failed, leaving Konoha nin confused but free to join other fights and lick their wounds.

The Naraka path was too busy to be called to revive the animal and human paths. They would have to remain out of this fight.

How had events gone so badly? He would still win, of course, though at a terrible cost to himself and possibly to Ame and his neglected organization. All of his bodies but his own broken transport could be remade, but he hated to lose them. They were the result of years of work. He kept his unease off his face, and turned to see the Sannin with his favored path for the first time in a very long time.

The Hokage seemed grimly determined at the sight of another opponent. It was the toad sannin whose hand limply fell open, letting the blade he wielded slip to the ground with a clatter.

"Yahiko-kun?" Jiraiya asked, sounding strangely vulnerable. He took a step forward. "I thought you were dead." The old man looked almost sickeningly hopeful, not noticing the alarm on his companion's face or that he was leaving himself open to attack.

Nagato –and he was Nagato now, not Pein- snarled. "He is, thanks to Konoha!" Knowing that he was wearing his friend's skin fueled his anger, and he moved forward, intent on gutting the old man who had once been his teacher, the old man who had claimed to be their protector and then had fed out information on Ame that had led to a disastrous ambush by Hanzo.

It was the slug sannin who saved Jiraiya, colliding into Pein like a battering ram and knocking him back. Fine. Some things should be said.

"It was through Konoha's intervention that Ame's peaceful revolution failed. Do not look at me as if you do not know my pain!"

He knew that Konan would have rolled her eyes if she had been here. She seemed to think he was overly dramatic when he was upset.

Jiraiya seemed to age a hundred years, slumping slightly. His eyes were still hard, though, and his head high as Nagato stood to drink in the man who had betrayed him and his Akatsuki.

"If you aren't Yahiko, who are you?" Jiraiya had always been clever, Nagato knew. He was a spymaster, and a master of the art of deception. Still, he had no idea how the older man knew to ask the next question, unless it was just hope and blind faith. "Nagato?" Jiraiya slowly held out a hand, visibly pleading with him. "It's you, isn't it? I had hoped, when I found that Konan lived. How did Yahiko die? What is this? Why are you doing this, Nagato-kun?"

* * *

"I'm feeling confused," Yamato ventured after several minutes had passed and Karin's furious searching hadn't revealed anything. They had been ready for a desperate last stand that had just never happened. That wasn't a situation one could see coming. It certainly didn't happen often.

Kakashi quietly sympathized with Yamato's bewilderment, but gritted his jaw to force down frustration.

' _This doesn't make any sense. First he was coming here, and now he's just gone? I need to know what's happening. I need information. We can't hold Ame forever without orders or reinforcements.'_

But Tsunade and Jiraiya were out of contact. That meant he couldn't trust that any other messenger would be able to get to Konoha. His ninken hadn't contacted him, and hadn't responded to his calls. Something somewhere was very wrong, and he was completely without information. Bleakly, he wondered if it was partially his fault. Had his inability to control his team somehow led to whatever was going on?

Kakashi purposefully turned his face away from Naruto, Sasuke, and Karin, who looked sick with guilt and confusion.

If he pushed himself and didn't sleep or rest more than absolutely necessary to stave off exhaustion, he could make it back to Konoha in less than three days. Yamato and Genma could keep that pace with him. Gai and his little replica were far too injured to accompany them, so their team should stay in Ame. As for the rest of his team… he didn't really want to look at them right now.

"Baki, I'm handing over field command to you," he decided, turning to the oldest and most experienced of their allies present. There was no particular reason that Konoha had to be in charge. "Once the Kiri and Kumo teams get a representative here, my team and I are going to try to find out what's going on. I think it has to do with Konoha."

It had to, or Aiko wouldn't have brought the Akatsuki back out to Ame in the first place. What a mess.

* * *

' _For such a stocky man, this one is fast,'_ Aiko thought grimly. All three of the Jounin here were fast, even for their rank. Of course, Akatsuki didn't have 'jounin' level shinobi in their numbers. They had monsters.

Yukimasa made a sweeping lunge, a deviation from their set that called both women's attention. He wanted an opening to use ninjutsu. Aiko felt a flutter of optimism- her captain had an idea. Anko and Aiko moved for the Akatsuki's rear at the same time, Aiko going low as Anko went high with a kunai in her fingers. He whirled around to protect from the greater threat, just as he was supposed to.

Aiko couldn't see Yukimasa flick through handsigns through the Akatsuki, but she knew he was. The two women split apart, Aiko going left and Anko right. They barely evaded the heat of the fire jutsu that Yukimasa had flung.

Soot blinded her for a moment, and Aiko moved blindly to lower her chances of being hit, despite hoping that Yukimasa had gotten a crippling blow. The caution was a good idea. When she opened her eyes, she was privately astounded to see that their opponent was undamaged. His right sleeve was completely burnt away, but the skin underneath was perfectly healthy.

' _That means that he used that arm to deflect or block somehow,'_ she tried to puzzle it out. ' _He's immune to fire?'_

That couldn't be right, could it? Was it even possible to be immune to an element?

Yukimasa must have had much the same thought. He jerked his head towards her, indicating that the next try was hers. He must be hoping that her water type chakra would prove a good match-up. The change in their strategy was now obvious, so it should have been more difficult to find a second opening for an unobstructed attack. Luckily, Aiko's jutsu were smaller area than Yukimasa's, so she didn't have to make sure her comrades were back. She just had to avoid hitting them.

Aiko bought a full second to ready Sen Tsurara by darting backwards. Ox, dog, jin, monkey, and she waited for the right moment, watching the Akatsuki wait expectantly for the jutsu. She darted inwards. Anko side-stepped out of the way and moved to tangle the Akatsuki's leg with her shin, but Yukimasa used his body to block the Akatsuki's view of her until the last moment, reaching up to secure a hand and tug it out to the side, away from the man's body. Not coincidentally, that meant Aiko only had to watch for one limb blocking her while she went in for the torso. The Akatsuki tore his limb out of Yukimasa's grasp but the moment of forced movement cost him just enough that he couldn't get it back inwards in time to push her back.

Right arm outstretched, Aiko lit her hand up with the now-familiar spikes even as she coated her fingers with a protective glove of water-natured chakra. ' _Funny,_ ' she thought, in the last moment before she reached out to force her hand through his chest. _'If I didn't know better, I'd say he was fast enough to get that hand back in.'_ She blocked his right with her left forearm, deflecting it upward, and moved to pierce his heart. The cloth over his chest burst outward and shredded on contact, exposing pale, smooth skin.

And her technique sputtered, dying as soon as the chakra connected with her opponent, leaving her landing an awkward punch instead of piercing flesh. Aiko's eyes widened as her face jerked up. She thought she saw victory flicker in the Akatsuki's pale ringed eyes, just a hint of amusement curling his lips upward. She had just enough time to note that she had only seen eyes like that on one other person and wonder at their significance. The chakra around her wrist still hadn't fled and she was still pressing forwards and there wasn't time to jerk backwards-

With speed she couldn't entirely see, the hand that Yukimasa had pulled away darted inwards and _twisted_ as it closed, viciously snapping her wrist and something smaller in her hand. The bones slid and gave in an instant.

She shrieked and hiraishin'd backwards, inadvertently dodging the hand that had been coming down for her head to land the killing blow. Tearing her hand away had done further damage, but probably saved her life. Pain was racing up her forearm like licks of fire. It was with a numb sense of disconnection that she observed that her hand was mangled, limp, and twisted in a way that obviously ruled out any chances of making a fist, much less handsigns or holding a weapon.

Anko bellowed something that Aiko couldn't understand through the buzzing in her ears, whipping around and stabbing something deeply into the Akatsuki's side, under the arm that was still raised.

He stepped back and kicked her away, already reacting to Aiko's other teammate.

Yukimasa was too close to the hand he had crippled Aiko with. That meant that the sword Yukimasa pulled off his back and over his head was caught in a casual display of monstrous strength and unreal pain tolerance.

Pain tolerance that Aiko couldn't match. She sobbed, forcing down actual tears and hysteria. _God, it hurt_ more than anything she'd ever felt. She'd had broken bones before, but clean breaks, and not so many at once.

* * *

"Isn't it obvious?" Nagato asked quietly, almost incredulous that the man would pretend not to know what he had done, that he would look at Nagato with naked hope and pain on his face. "Konoha is part of a broken system. The shinobi world is one of petty tyrants selling violence for evil men, leaving only despair and pain in its wake. I will change that. I am burdened with a vision beyond compare."

Tsunade all but snarled. "You're wrong!" Her chest heaved with anger. Her hands still dripped with the oddly cold blood from the Human path, who had put himself in her way in one last attempt to delay the death of the Animal path. "Petty tyrants? We protect our own, the people we care about! You as much as admitted that you came here because of your desires, your choices. You're the selfish one."

Nagato eyed her, not letting wariness into his body language but not falling prey to arrogance either. He could kill either of these opponents in single combat handily. Both of them at once would require that he plan.

If he were a coward or had more resources available, he might have called on another path. But the Preta path was busy with two kunoichi and a shinobi, the Naraka path could not be spared, and the Animal, Human, and Asura paths were dead. Konoha was not as weak as he had supposed.

He was on his own. But he did not fear, not for himself. Nagato was torn between the desire to hurry so that he could find out what had happened to Konan and his knowledge that rushing in head-first might end badly. Reluctantly, he chose caution.

"Selfish," Nagato repeated slowly, mockingly. "I am selfish. I do not fight for no one, woman. My concern is all of humanity. I am not bound by your conventions of favoritism. I want everyone to have peace, and I will bring it to this world in the only way possible." He blinked levelly at the woman, registering her dumbstuck expression. "This world only understands fear and violence. Very well." He spread his hands and intoned, "So they shall fear me, and I will ensure that no one ever bands together against the weak."

"You're talking about destroying the shinobi system and villages?" Jiraiya asked lowly, shaking his head slightly. "That's crazy. Nagato, what have you become? You can't force peace through fear. It would never be true. You would only be a tyrant to the people. Their hatred would band them all together against you, even if it meant all of their deaths. No one will live in submission."

"Idealistic," Nagato rebuffed sharply, adjusting his stance to be ready to move if either of his new opponents lunged. He forced down a pang of doubt. Jiraiya was wrong. He had to be. "At their core, people are weak and frightened. That is why they arm themselves and turn to violence."

It was positively infuriating to see disappointment in his old mentor's eyes. How dare he condescend like that?

"Nagato-kun, you don't believe that," Jiraiya said quietly. "Yahiko never believed that. Konan never believed that. I wouldn't have taught you if I didn't know you were all good people, despite the odds against you." Tsunade looked almost mutinous at his gentle tone, but didn't try to stop the white-haired man from trying to reason with the intruder in her village. It was highly illogical, Nagato thought.

But Jiraiya pressed forward, painfully sincere. "I always believed in you, Nagato-kun. I told you once that I thought you might be the child of prophecy, the man who would bring peace to the world." He shook his head, and lowered his voice. "But not like this." Sorrowfully, he looked out over the ruins that had once been a vibrant metropolis. "The boy I knew had suffered as a result of someone else's war in his homeland. He wouldn't want to do that to other children, or to take away people's free will by force. You fought for your dreams with tooth and nail, but you were never a bully, kid."

If Jiraiya took one more step in, he might actually attempt to hug Nagato. The Ame nin took a cautionary step backwards, thoroughly disoriented.

This wasn't right. This wasn't how this altercation was supposed to go. _Nothing was going right_. He had forgotten how persuasive the older man could be, but that meant nothing. It had to.

"It's your fault," Nagato managed steadily, catching the older man's eye. He managed to work up a bit of anger when Jiraiya had the gall to look confused. "It was Konoha that sold us out all those years ago. Hanzo had backup from Konoha."

He licked his lips, strangely hurt and weary at the prospect of telling this story he had never told. "I had to choose between Konan and Yahiko, and it was Konoha's fault. There was no sense in that. Had you not sold us out for information, he would still be here today. Do not act as though you can lecture me."

Even as he said it, Nagato hated that he sounded like a child defending himself against this man. How did Jiraiya make him feel so small? Was it Jiraiya who had somehow ruined his plans once more- Jiraiya who had arranged for Konoha to invade and subjugate Ame, chasing out Akatsuki? It seemed logical that the spymaster would have been involved in the many subversions of his plans to collect jinchuuriki. He needed them to make the weapon that would allow him to force the people of the Elemental countries into submission.

The Sannin exchanged a confused look. It was Tsunade who spoke. "Konoha didn't send anyone to Ame," she said cautiously. "Sandaime-sama would never have interfered with your failed coup. He didn't care who ruled Amegakure. Konoha had our own problems."

"I was there," Nagato said slowly, outraged that she would deny this.

"Any Konoha nin present weren't ordered there by Sandaime-sama," Tsunade said bluntly. "You were tricked."

"Not by Sandaime," Jiraiya said lowly, looking as though an unpleasant thought had occurred. "Danzo, however, might have interfered if he saw opportunity for profit." He looked a little green.

Nagato didn't see what difference it made. He shook his head, tired of conversation that raised prickles of doubt. "Enough!" He narrowed his eyes. "I will not be dissuaded." No matter that he had been wrong, or that his old teacher was glad to see him, or that he feared for Konan, or that it seemed increasingly possible that his attack on Konoha would be a failure.

More than a sliver of doubt pulled at his heart. When it was all summed up that way… Perhaps it was time to reconsider his actions. Jiraiya was wrong: his motivations were pure and his plan the only one that could work. The Konoha nin were wrong about people, and he would prove it to them. Konoha had only rallied because they had no other choice and they thought there was no option for surrender. If they could bow to his might, they would have. Nagato would prove it, and that would prove that he had been correct in his thinking.

He took just a moment to connect with the Preta path, and nudge the manifestation of his power to move more aggressively. Dimly, he recognized one of the fighters with a bubble of amusement. It was of no consequence, however. Once it had killed those in its way, he would send it to the poorly hidden shelters in the west.

And then they would see who knew human nature.

* * *

' _I need to get back in there,_ ' Aiko realized distantly, feeling strain under her eyes and that she was breathing harshly.

It took a moment to re-evaluate her strategy to take her injury into account. She wasn't useless, but it would be much more difficult for her to get her own hits in now. That meant she was now support for her comrades, helping them get openings. She should keep her right side away from the Akatsuki as much as possible so that her left was always available for blocking.

She tried to pretend to herself that she couldn't see that her hand was swelling and turning purple. It was just a distraction. Pain was just a distraction. It didn't mean anything, and neither did the fact that she couldn't feel her fingers, or that they looked like fat blue sausages.

"What happened?" Yukimasa grunted, abandoning the professionalism of silence. Aiko understood instantly. It wasn't working as an intimidation tactic and they needed to figure out what had gone wrong with their attacks. It wasn't an immunity to fire chakra or even fire itself, so-

"I think he absorbs chakra!" Aiko called out, hoping the tightness in her voice didn't make her sound too weak. ' _Like Kisame's sword. That's how he did it.'_

That meant that genjutsu and ninjutsu were out of the running as optimal strategies. He'd endured both direct and area effect attacks. It would have been nice to figure that out another way.

But the man was monstrously strong, more like Gai than anyone she'd ever faced in combat before. In unspoken agreement, all three Jounin reached for a blade, if they hadn't one out already. Hopefully his flesh wasn't so tough that they couldn't pierce it. At this point, she wouldn't be surprised. This Akatsuki seemed optimally suited as a defensive fighter—their numbers weren't the advantage she had hoped for.

She was best with a short sword, and preferred to fight with her right hand, but Aiko awkwardly reached across her thigh to pull out a kunai with her left hand. Her broken wrist hurt terribly, but she tried to ignore it. The limb dangled a little limply when she darted forward—the elbow was curled so that her forearm was across her stomach, but she couldn't seem to do more than twitch her ring and pinky fingers.

"Foolish."

Aiko jerked involuntarily, looking around for Pein before she realized that the voice had come from her current opponent. That was positively uncanny.

"I have seen your technique through these eyes, girl. You only touched Pein because I felt you were of little consequence, a fly before me."

Was he seriously saying that the creepy eyes meant he could see what Pein had? Was he connected to Pein? If that was true, she was going to have a seriously hard time touching him. He knew she only needed a tap to move him or hurt him.

An ugly theory made itself known.

Well. Shit.

' _Puppets,'_ Aiko realized bitterly. ' _My favorite thing. These aren't new Akatsuki. These are puppets of Pein's somehow. I bet the others all have eyes like that too, just like the hair is Pein's color. What a vain son of a bitch.'_

So Pein was still in Konoha. They were all Pein.

The moment that her hand had been broken, her reaction had been to bury the pain, not begrudge the man who gave the injury. He was her opponent in a fight to the death. There was no point in personal dislike. Hypocritically, that opinion changed in an instant, now that she knew it was _that man again_.

"You again!" Aiko snarled, near-frantic with the desire to end him or at least make him hurt. She lunged, trying again and again to slash at him, but failing. Pein just moved backwards and to the side, like he was a Jounin teaching an excitable genin. She had fallen out of tandem with her peers without realizing it, and nearly collided with Anko in her haste. The older woman managed to dodge and rally around, trying to intercept Pein, but he ducked under and around, placing her body between himself and Aiko.

Like a child hiding behind an adult at the playground, she thought furiously. He was mocking her. Calling her infantile, showing that she was too slow.

"Fall in!" Anko barked, drawing Aiko back to the real world. She jerked guiltily, realizing that she had been behaving unprofessionally. She didn't get to put her grudge before teamwork. It was seamless to slip back into line, letting Yukimasa lead their pattern. She recognized the move he called for instantly.

They were supposed to separate, and come at their target from three points around him, and whirl counterclockwise, moving downward in a spiral that Aiko had always thought strangely resembled a whirlpool. Yukimasa came in at Pein's right side, Anko behind him directly at Pein's back, and Aiko behind her at Pein's left side. She wryly noted that the maneuver had been flipped so that all three of them would be using their left hands, a concession to her crippled right.

All three of them corkscrewed, Yukimasa taking the lowest position to cut at the front of Pein's shins, aiming to slice the tendons keeping his feet firmly attached to his legs. Anko was sliding her blade through the back of Pein's right knee and around the side. Aiko had the most protected position and the toughest target, slicing at Pein's lower back in an attempt to cut through his spine.

Her blade connected, scoring deeply, in no small part because Pein shifted his weight back slightly so that he could kick Yukimasa back. With a yelp and a crunch of bone, Aiko's captain went flying, hitting the uneven terrain and rolling twice before he managed to flip to his feet. Pein had already turned to Anko, whose blow had missed due to Pein's kick.

Aiko saw it happen but still couldn't do a damn thing. Anko's low positioning put her head only slightly above Pein's hands. She had been vulnerable. The movement they had executed counted on the probability that the three-pronged attack would stun or startle their opponent long enough for them to move outward and upward so that blows couldn't come from above.

They had failed. In one smooth motion, Pein put a hand on either side of Anko's head and twisted. It popped all the way around with sickening ease. The older woman's knees buckled and her momentum carried her forward even as Pein continued to turn to face Aiko, who had both been highest and farthest from his vision. She was in an athletic stance. She could move away. Yukimasa had given her the least risky position.

It still wasn't enough for her to dodge completely. The foot she hadn't seen him raise connected with her right shoulder, shattering her upper humerus and sending the shards to collapse into her acromion. She saw white and only belatedly realized that the force of the blow had toppled her over, sending her rolling. She recovered to push herself further away with her good hand, and nearly screamed when the momentum carried her weight onto her now ruined shoulder. Breathing was all but impossible through the taste of bile and blood in her mouth. Some reserve or reflex carried her to her feet through the pain. She had dropped her kunai at some point and not noticed.

Her eyes met with Yukimasa's through the distance. Pein was in between them, looking thoroughly unconcerned. Distracted, even. He was still turned more towards Aiko than her teammate. Her surviving teammate. Anko was staring up deaddeadead and Pein was better than she was and he was going to kill Yukimasa, he was going to kill everyone and everything that he touched. She couldn't let that happen.

In the moment, the next thought seemed like a perfect idea. Pein was going to kill her. She couldn't survive him. When she died, her body was going to explode from Danzo's seal. She would be taking Pein with her. Unless Pein managed to escape the blast radius—he had to be close. And she had to die suddenly—he might realize what was happening and have time to back away. Or he might just choose to casually fling her away, or let her die slowly. She had to make it count, had to set this up right.

He was turning. Turning away from her, moving to the larger threat. Her captain still hadn't quite regained his balance, on his feet now but not ready to intercept an attack.

Aiko didn't think, she **moved**. Her good hand jerked up to the side of her face, planting a very familiar seal on her temple just above her cheekbone. An instant kill, and then Danzo's seal would fail in the same instant.

If she'd had more time, she might have had last words. Something poignant, or something heroic, like telling Pein that he couldn't win. But all she was really thinking was a combination of 'save captain' and 'fuck this guy', and none of that was suited for the record.

"Hey, assbutt!"

_'I need to work on my insults'_ crossed her mind ever so slightly before, _'No, I don't'_ flickered in denial.

It didn't matter. Pein's puppet turned, sensing that she was lunging at him. She had just enough time to savor the slight confusion when he realized that she didn't even have a weapon out and twist her mouth into a parody of a smile before she let her momentum carry her a breath away from his body. He was about to block her, probably by kicking her down.

She snapped one last seal, and wasn't even able to appreciate just how _fucking beautiful_ it was to see blood spray out over the short man's confused face. She certainly wasn't there to enjoy the secondary, much larger _**boom** _ that rocked the ground, shredding both bodies and scorching a ring into the ground.

Yukimasa was, though. The first thing he did once he had registered the heaviness in the air that proceeded the explosion –after he reflexively scrambled backwards, out of range—was throw up. It might have been the way the force rocked him with nausea, but it was more likely the tiny scorched toe with a painted blue nail that collided with his chest and rolled when it dropped to hit the ground.

"God," he gasped, licking bile off the back of his teeth and shaking. "God."

* * *

Iruka's muscles were already so tense that they hurt, despite remaining perfectly still. His students and the other children in the shelter had been getting restless and impatient. He wasn't sure if the fact that they had quieted when distant booming echoed through the tunnels to them was good, although their whispers were much easier to think and listen over than the whining and chatting had been.

' _I have no idea what I'm hearing_ ,' he thought with frustration, not for the first time. Fighting had obviously begun, and it wasn't close. That probably meant the village was under direct attack. But there weren't many shinobi he could imagine would be loud enough to hear from such a distance—an Akimichi, perhaps.

At least no one seemed to be nearby. That didn't mean he was relaxing at all. Chuunin instructors were some of the best shinobi in the village because they were entrusted with Konoha's most valuable resources, but he had never specialized in detection of any sort. There was always a possibility that some of the attackers were a distraction for opportunists interested in a few bloodlines.

Those thoughts were why he came shamefully close to throwing a shuriken at the source of abrupt movement. Iruka wheezed in panic, trembling. He'd barely caught the blade between his fingertips in the same instant that he'd reflexively tossed it.

The surprised looking huddle of children who had jerked downwards didn't even notice that there had nearly been blood, though their kunoichi teacher gave him a murderous look.

"Where'd the doggies go?" someone whined plaintively.

' _Oh, that's right,'_ he realized dimly. ' _They were snuggling Aiko's ninken.'_

It took a moment for him to connect the dots there. The children using that fluffy dog as a pillow had all knocked their heads on the floor when it had ceased to be in the shelter. It was… No, was it even possible for a ninken who had already been in the human realm to respond to a summoning? Iruka frowned, carefully tucking away his weapon and plastering a bright smile onto his face to avoid letting onto his increasingly dark thoughts. As far as he knew, that wasn't possible. He could be wrong, of course. But it seemed much more likely that the chakra sustaining the summons had cut out.

' _Aiko could have passed out from chakra exhaustion,'_ he theorized. That wasn't a _good_ option by any means, but it was better than the only other explanation that came to mind.

His female colleague met his eyes with an expression of grim understanding before she regained her post, having finished soothing a boy who had gotten a good knock to the head. She had come to the same conclusion.

He really wished he knew what was going on. Iruka had to stop himself from tapping his fingers against the side of his pants. His students knew his nervous tics well enough by now that he couldn't allow himself to forget what his hands were doing. It would do no good to panic them.

* * *

Jiraiya threw himself to the ground at the sound of an explosion, half-expecting the attack to be much closer. His reflexes were wasted, however. Whatever detonation that had been had been both large and loud, but the plume of smoke he spotted in the distance showed that it was a good half-mile away. The attack hadn't been for him.

He cursed his paranoia, even as he leapt to his feet and moved to ensure that Nagato-kun didn't manage to hurt Tsunade-hime while he was lazing about on the ground. The shock he saw on the Ame nin's face stopped him in his tracks. Tsunade stepped back, visibly wary of a trap. Katsuya bubbled menacingly, dissolving and dividing into smaller slugs than the large beast that had shielded hime from the last attack.

It was for naught.

"Impossible," Nagato said quietly, turning to stare off at the rising cloud of dust as if he had forgotten he was in a fight. "I… failed. How could I fail?"

Something uncomfortable crawled in his belly, a suspicion that Jiraiya couldn't quite verbalize.

"What are you talking about?"

Apparently, Tsunade wasn't struck by the same sense of cautiousness that told him that anything more than a whisper might break their odd stalemate, because her tone was firm and not entirely pleasant.

"I was going to demonstrate that you were wrong." Nagato blinked, and turned back to the older shinobi, looking a little lost and unnerved. "That your people would surrender to me instead of dying for you."

"It's obvious that they weren't going to surrender," Tsunade rebutted fiercely, frowning at him. "They've been fighting you since you came here."

"I meant the others," Nagato muttered distractedly. "I gave no chance for quarter to your Jounin. The genin and civilians, however, did not have to die."

"What did you do?" Jiraiya asked hopelessly, fearing the worst.

"Nothing."

Well, that hadn't been what he had expected.

"I did not have a chance to offer them terms." Nagato slowly shook his head, giving the Sannin a strange inquisitive look. "The last Path I possessed who could go to them is dead. I have no others but the path outside the city. Even if I beat you here…"

He trailed off, but Jiraiya knew what he meant. Nagato would have no clean victory. All three of them were bloodied and battered, but not ready to stand down. Nagato might fall to one or both of the Sannin, and his invasion would fail. Even if he won, he would be weakened. Someone, somewhere, among the Konoha survivors would find him and bring him down. He was no immortal. If he had thought he could take Konoha alone, he would not have brought other fighters.

"Paths?" Tsunade asked, uncertain.

"Like the story of the Rikkudo Sennin," Jiraiya explained quietly. "The Rinnegan is the power from that story. It's real. That's how he did this. The other intruders are him."

He had been all but certain, but seeing Nagato's head nod slightly in agreement hit home. God, when had one of his kids become so powerful? Jiraiya tried not to laugh, because if he did, he was going to cry. He was a failure of the highest order. He had been less of a disgrace back when he thought his students were all dead. His apprentice was still dead, as was sweet Yahiko. Nagato and Konan were criminals bent on Konoha's destruction and the deconstruction of the entire shinobi way of life. Naruto… He could have done so much more for Naruto. But he'd looked at that boy and seen his father's face and his mother's spirit and been torn between drinking away the memories and pushing him away so that he couldn't be hurt again when the boy died.

Naruto had forced his way in past his guard, but that was through no virtue on Jiraiya's part. He was a disgrace to Konoha, a pathetic failure as a teacher, and an utterly worthless godparent. God, he didn't even know what had happened to his goddaughter. He hadn't seen her since the fighting started. Was she dead? Probably. Half of Konoha seemed to be.

Nagato's quiet voice cut through his despair. "It seems that you were correct. I cannot best you." Jiraiya pulled his attention outward to see Nagato looking up at the sky, staring into the distance contemplatively. "I yield, Hokage-sama, Jiraiya-sensei. I was wrong."

"What." Tsunade said ungracefully.

"If your shinobi are willing to blow their very bodies up to keep me from their civilians, I cannot believe that I will find what I thought I would here." Nagato shook his head slowly. "Konoha is not what I thought it was."

"What makes you think I would accept your surrender," Tsunade demanded, half-hysterical, tears of anger welling up and her face twisted in sick, trembling outrage. "You killed hundreds of my people! I want your blood. Why would I let you walk away?"

For the first time, Nagato seemed to really look at her. He shrunk slightly in the face of her obvious grief, apparently shaken by the realization that he had hurt real people and was going to be held accountable for it.

"I can fix that," he said quietly.

Tsunade threw her head back and laughed until she cried, great gasping sobs that shook her shoulders. "You can fix it," she repeated thickly, shaking her head and hugging her chest. Now that the adrenaline had gone and the fight was over, she was falling apart in front of his eyes. Jiraiya swallowed hard, and quietly moved to wrap an arm around her waist. She leaned into his chest and rolled her head to keep Nagato in her sight. "Are you mad, boy? You're going to fix this. What are you going to do, give hand-written apologies to every widow and orphan? Will you rebuild my city by hand?"

"No," Nagato answered, looking her directly in her eyes. He stepped forward seriously, hands curling slightly at his side. "Tell your people to stand down. They are still fighting my last path. I will bring the Naraka path here." He paused deliberately, as if he knew that the next words would be disbelieved. "The Rinnegan has the power over life," Nagato said quietly. "True resurrection, not a perversion or theft from the Shinigami."

Jiraiya felt his jaw drop. That was in the stories, yes, but stories couldn't all be true. It was perfect, it was unrealistic, it was-

"Impossible!" Tsunade breathed, curling her fist into Jiraiya's vest. He couldn't see her face even when she lifted it, but he knew the fury that would be on it. "You mock me."

"I do not." Nagato raised his head to make eye contact with Jiraiya. He met the gaze steadily, torn between disbelief and hope. "Jiraiya-sensei, you know I do not lie. I can do this. The Samsara of Heavenly life technique restores a body to the state it was in before death. I can rebuild what was lost, attach limbs, and breathe life back into damaged tissue. They will not be in perfect health," he admitted honestly. "I believe that there may be remnants of fatigue or imperfections in chakra level, and I do not know what would happen to a man who had lost a limb years before, for example, but I can restore your people to life in penance."

"In penance," Tsunade repeated slowly. "So you're sorry, boy?" She stared at him, coming to a decision. It didn't take long. Jiraiya knew what she would choose. There was only one choice, no matter how angry she was. Their people came first.

"Katsuya-sama, spread out and make sure everyone knows to stand down!" Tsunade ordered hoarsely, not taking her gaze off Nagato. "I'm going to let him try. I'll need your help to heal any injured, however. Nagato. Are you claiming that your technique only needs genetic material to rebuild a body and restore it to life?" she clarified, eyes hard. At his nod, Tsunade took a deep inhalation. "So a body should become as it was meant to be," she concluded quietly, running a hand through her left pigtail and tapping a scuffed, bloody heel against the ground.

_A body should become as it was meant to be._

Hope swelled up in his chest, despite the grimness of the situation. Tsunade was obviously disgusted by Nagato, but he didn't feel guilty about talking to him under the new circumstances.

"What happened?" Jiraiya asked quietly, hating that he'd forgotten about his initial upset when his goddaughter had disappeared earlier. She had taken Nagato away—and he was now certain it was Yahiko's body, though he hadn't gotten a good view before—and had never returned. But Nagato had.

His old student gave him a careful examination. "What do you mean?"

"My goddaughter," Jiraiya clarified, oddly surprised that Nagato hadn't known. It seemed so obvious to him. "She- earlier, when we – first arrived"- ' _Before Choza and Shikaku and Inoichi died'_ , he thought bitterly –"the girl who-"

Thankfully, Nagato interrupted his awkward stumbling for words. "Uzumaki Aiko," he clarified slowly.

For the first time, Jiraiya remembered that Nagato was an Uzumaki too. How was he related to his godchildren?

Nagato looked guilty, and Jiraiya's heart sank. Even as he told himself that Nagato would fix it, that he would bring her back, Jiraiya wanted to go see for himself. To find his goddaughter and apologize to Minato for failing him so completely.

"Dead," Nagato admitted. "Although I did not kill her with these hands. She took me out of Konoha, to the land of Rain in hopes of keeping me from the fight. She did not know that the Animal path could summon me."

"Then why is she dead," Jiraiya asked quietly, accusatively.

"That was the explosion."

His legs buckled under him and Jiraiya sat heavily. ' _Maybe I already knew,'_ he realized dazedly. ' _That wasn't an explosive tag. That was a big explosion. From something like the seal Aiko took from Danzo.'_

Kami, how horrific. But, that didn't answer-

"How did she die," he demanded hoarsely. An explosion would be a monstrous way to die, but the seal was meant to go after she was dead. That had just been her body, not her. Maybe the truth was less cruel. Even as he grasped at straws, Jiraiya knew he was being irrational. She was dead. Dead was dead, and it certainly hadn't been peacefully in her sleep. Knowing wouldn't make him feel any better.

"Suicide," Nagato admitted quietly.

And his heart stopped somewhere between terror and confusion, even as the younger man continued talking.

"I don't know how she did it. One of her companions was dead, and the Preta path moved to finish the other while he was down. I had intended to have him go to the refugees after they were dead and was weary of playing with them. She leapt at the Preta path." Nagato looked oddly disturbed, as if noting a detail for the first time. "She was smiling," he finished quietly. "She didn't even try to reach out. Her head went first, and then-" Nagato cut himself off sharply, as if remembering that shinobi tolerance of gore and grief might falter in the face of such a personal connection.

Jiraiya bowed his head, feeling a despicable failure. He didn't even care when a tear drop hit his knees. "And you can bring her back?" he asked quietly. A body that had been the fuel for an explosion like that… half of it might be outright gone as ash, the rest scattered. Was it even possible to restore full function after something like that? Would she _remember_ the experience? It must have been a horrible way to die. It might be kinder if she didn't have to count such an experience in her recollection.

"I can bring her back," Nagato promised solemnly. "And then…" he paused uncertainly, probably knowing that it was a terrible time to ask favors, but unable to resist. "What happened in Ame?"

Surprised by the question, Jiraiya had to blink three times before he made the connection. He'd pushed that affair back in his memory in his current preoccupation. It just didn't seem important at the time. But of course Nagato would be interested.

"I don't know much," Jiraiya admitted. "A toad came to me asking what was going on while I was fighting before you came back and told me that Naruto was actually in Ame, but I don't know when the situation changed. If there was a message from the borders about an excursion into Ame, it either hasn't made it here or the messenger abandoned their post to join in the fight."

"I see." Nagato seemed troubled. Jiraiya could sympathize.

Tsunade couldn't.

"Who are we waiting for exactly?" she asked crisply, pacing a small circuit.

"My last remaining path," Nagato said quietly. "I should probably make you aware that there are also four Ame shinobi present. I took our strongest team in order that someone might protect my actual body. In any case, the Naraka path is channeling a power that will allow me to perform the Samsara technique of heavenly life."

"And will this kill you?"

Jiraiya recoiled, but Tsunade was matter-of-fact. The question made sense. Most kinjutsu had a heavy price to pay. Life for life seemed fitting.

"I may die in the attempt," Nagato admitted. "I doubt it, however. I have a path left to aid me and a great deal of chakra still." He met her gaze for a moment. "I will use as much as it takes," Nagato said quietly. "I have not used this technique before."

"Why didn't you?" Tsunade asked suspiciously. "If this friend of yours is dead, why didn't you bring him back?"

A flash of pain crossed Nagato's face. "I had not mastered the technique," he said bluntly. "And by the time I had, it was far too late. I cannot bring back those who are long dead without dying myself, and Konan would not have forgiven me if I attempted the technique and failed. When I suggested it, she felt that the risk of failure outweighed the possibility of having Yahiko back, and that she would not choose between us."

' _She didn't want to be alone,_ ' Jiraiya realized sadly. Konan had always been a sweet girl. Skilled, clever, but not a leader herself. No wonder she had clung to her surviving companion.

They waited in unhappy silence until the 'path' came to them, impassive and dull-faced. Nagato directed it to stand nearby and took a deep breath. "Tsunade-sama, I can do nothing for your injured," he warned a final time. "It is still possible that any who are trapped under rubble will perish after I have performed this technique. They will remain lost. But if we delay, those who have perished already will be out of my reach."

"I understand," Tsunade said quietly, obviously pained. "Save as many as you can. I'll set them to searching for survivors and heal them with Katsuya's help."

' _I'll never get a chance to see anything like this again,_ ' Jiraiya knew when Nagato raised his arms slightly and began channeling a truly godly amount of chakra. _'I should pay attention so I can remember the way it looks.'_

But it was all he could do to hold his old teammate's hand and try to soothe away her shaking as they both silently prayed that this would work.

* * *

The sky was blue through heavy overhanging dust, and her neck was hurting. She moved slightly, and the jagged rock that had been poking her flesh up rolled over to a blunter side.

That still wasn't great, but it seemed like as good a solution as any.

It took a moment for the realization that something was not right to set in. Cataloguing her senses took some time. The stinging in her eyes wasn't pleasant, but it didn't set off the danger alarms. Nothing did, until she forced herself to sit up and realized that she was completely naked.

She was naked, and she wasn't alone. Eyes wide, she crossed her arms over her chest convulsively and brought her knees up to shield some small part of her dignity.

' _What's going on? Where am I?'_

She couldn't even bring herself to question why she was naked, because she couldn't imagine an answer that wasn't terrifying. She didn't even see discarded clothes nearby. The situation didn't look good. She was sitting in a field of rubble. A starburst pattern of blood painted the grey and white stones. That was a **lot** of blood, but she didn't see where it had come from.

Is it _possible_ to have your heart convulse so fast that it bruises your chest? Because that's what it felt like.

The man walking toward her split his face in an enormous grin, widening his hands in some gesture she didn't appreciate. The hair that fluttered behind him was white, where it wasn't red or dusty.

So, this was someone who had been involved in whatever had happened to her, she grimly judged.

"Aiko-chan!" At this distance, she could see that his face was tanned and faintly lined. It was also filthy, with slightly cleaner lines blurred downward where he had obviously been crying at some point in the day. He was older than his macho, careless body language and pleasant voice implied. That advanced age didn't correlate to physical infirmity. Strength was obvious in the casual grace of his movement and his enormous frame. "Shit, girl. That was stupid of you. But we're all alright now. Tsunade-hime's got almost everyone rounded up." He sounded oddly relieved to see her.

And he wasn't respecting her personal space. Face burning, she scrambled backwards, watching warily.

This seemed like a situation she should remember getting into. Blood that didn't seem to belong to anyone, broken buildings, hot scorch marks… it looked like she'd been in the middle of a fucking battlefield.

' _Nice place you have here,_ ' some irreverent part of her murmured, rather unconvincingly fronting nonchalance in the face of her fear. She couldn't make the words come out, though. Her mouth was too dry.

And the stranger was still looking at her. His grin made her very uncomfortable. In another situation she might have identified it as boyish or playful, but it felt distinctly predatory right now. Her right foot slipped on a jutting nail in her retreat, and the soft uncallused heel split open like a ripe fruit. She flinched, curling her leg inward. His smile slipped as he glanced down at the liquid that was warming the underside of her foot.

"Is something wrong?" Even as he spoke, he was slipping the oversized scroll that hung off one shoulder onto the ground. She tensed, but all he removed was the coat he wore. It was filthy and sticky against her bare flesh. But when he tossed it to her; she hastily wrapped it around her body and held it closed with one hand.

She still hadn't responded.

"Aiko, talk to me." The stranger's brow furrowed. He moved in slowly, as if trying to be unthreatening. She should reply. She wasn't convinced of his benevolence, but manners never hurt. "Are you dizzy? You look disoriented."

Her voice was raspy, but she managed words. "Where am I?"

* * *

Tired and uncertain, Tsunade allowed Nagato to leave, the one path that had survived escorting him.

"It's strange," she said quietly, not turning to look at her apprentice. Shizune had been a little frightened and jumpy since she had been revived, but doing her best to hide it. For her dignity, Tsunade pretended not to notice and tried not to break down and cry when the girl crept off to a corner to recover her composure.

Finding her apprentice wandering disoriented among the rubble had been terrifying as it had been a relief. Shizune had been equally streaked with tears and blood, clutching her torn kimono shut and all but incoherent. She hadn't been told what had happened. And Tsunade hadn't dared to ask. If Shizune wanted to talk about it, she would eventually. But now, they needed to pull together and take care of the village as best as they could.

"That he left the Ame team behind?" Shizune asked, not making much effort to falsify her usual bright tone.

"That, and something he said before," Tsunade acknowledged thoughtfully. "I think he's planning on seppuku." She turned away, disinterested in watching that man walk into the distance.

He could kill himself, but it wouldn't erase the memory of what he had done. It would make sense, though. Seppuku was historically used to erase disgrace and restore honor. His personal honor was beyond repair, but he still cared for Ame and Konan.

They hadn't managed to contact the other nations yet, but she thought she knew what international response to this whole mess would be. No one else had been battered nearly as much as Konoha, but that didn't mean anyone would accept the continuance of Nagato's unofficial reign as the kage of Ame.

No, he had to either die or be executed for them to have anything resembling a fresh start, no matter what Jiraiya thought. She suspected that he intended for Konan to take over as Ame's kage, actually. It sounded like a poor plan to her, but it wasn't her village to worry about.

Nagato had postured, as if he was attempting to convince her that he had something important to say. That seemed doubtful. Now that she'd finally heard from her people in Ame, it seemed clear that Akatsuki was taken care of. Whatever he was withholding could be found in another way without having to condescend to deal with that Konan woman until it was clear there were no other options. Tsunade wouldn't be an instrument in a plan to strengthen Konan's authority by acknowledging her as Ame's representative.

' _Why am I wasting time thinking about these people?'_

Disgusted, Tsunade wished good riddance to bad rubbish and took a moment to wonder what Jiraiya was up to. She had lost track of him in the hours that followed Nagato's resurrection technique and then her impromptu healing. It was all a long, dirty blur of digging and searching and trying to convince shell-shocked, traumatized shinobi to pull out of their personal sorrow and phantom pain to help her save everyone else before being trapped under rubble killed them again.

And Sarutobi-sensei was dead, permanently dead. She tried to shy away from the memory of finding him—breathing perfectly well, but the man she remembered was not inside the cage of flesh. When she took into account that he had apparently traded his life to the death god to destroy a path, Tsunade wasn't surprised that it had been impossible to revive him. She was miserable and sick with grief, but not surprised.

At least the digging had revealed that all was not quite as lost as they had thought. Downtown had been hit the hardest, but only several blocks were completely unsalvageable. Most of the city was broken and buried, but the infrastructure was still there. With work and time, it could be restored to something usable.

' _It doesn't hurt to have an extra four sets of hands, but I'll need more than Ame nin to get this done before the Tsuchikage thinks to take advantage of our weakness,'_ Tsunade thought grimly. Everyone would have to be recalled from Ame. They couldn't afford to waste the manpower on a foray that wasn't even making money.

"Tsunade-sama? May I be excused?"

"Hmm?" She actually turned at that. "What do you mean, Shizune?"

"I would rather be working in the hospital," Shizune said quietly.

Her brow furrowed. It didn't seem like the best allocation of one of her best administrative resources. There were so few wounded… Well, physically wounded, in any case. There were more than a few instances of phantom limbs, cases of short-term memory loss from stress, confusion, and panic attacks, and a few who were still sleeping off whatever trauma they had endured that Nagato's resurrection couldn't rectify. Shizune was vastly overqualified to deal with the physical injuries present, and under-qualified to do anything about the sudden rash of psychiatric needs.

But she wouldn't deny her apprentice anything, and certainly wouldn't push her past her breaking point. Shizune wouldn't have asked on a whim.

"Of course," Tsunade conceded. "I'm sure you know the evacuation team is leaving soon. You'd better go join them."

The relief visible on her apprentice's face erased any regret she had. Impulsively, Tsunade reached out and pulled Shizune into a hug as she hadn't in years. She breathed in deeply, nose tucked into lank, dirty hair. "I love you kid," she murmured. "You know that, right?"

She wasn't an expressive woman. The thought of losing the girl she had raised had curdled her blood and made her regret every day where she hadn't made that perfectly clear.

"I know," Shizune sniffled in return, embracing her firmly. "I love you too."

Tsunade pulled away, holding Shizune at arm's length to drink her in for a moment before tiredly joking, "All the feelings in here are making me uncomfortable. Go on now, you'll miss your group."

She didn't have to cope with loneliness for long. Twenty minutes after Shizune left, her surviving teammate stumbled into her requisitioned office in a bank (of all the things) that had survived the destruction.

"You look terrible," Tsunade said bluntly.

Jiraiya couldn't quite muster up a smile. "It's been a long day, hime." He looked at her with something that wasn't quite fondness and wasn't quite sorrow—a desperate, grateful look that made her uncomfortable enough that Tsunade turned her face down.

"It has," she agreed quietly. After a moment, she cleared her throat. They'd never communicated about their feelings much, but if there was a day to express concern, this was probably it. Tsunade opened her mouth, and then closed it uncertainly. "So… Did you find-"

"I don't want to talk about it," Jiraiya cut her off sharply. At her shocked look, guilt crossed his face. He slumped, enormous shoulders curling inward. His enormous physical presence couldn't be diminished to something comparable to another man's, however. Even at his lowest like this, Tsunade looked at her teammate and couldn't see the scrawny boy she had grown up punching. He wasn't quite foreign to her, but sometimes when she looked and saw a man where she expected an irritating tween, it threw her for a loop.

"I'm sorry," Jiraiya apologized, glancing up at her through pale lashes ringed with soot. "That was bratty, wasn't it?" He heaved a sigh, apparently not needing a response. The kunoichi watched him warily, wanting to help but not sure what to say. "Yeah, I found Aiko."

"Was she…" Tsunade started cautiously.

Her teammate shook his head. "No, she's not dead," he said bluntly.

Tsunade avoided the impulse to say, 'that's good, right?'. He didn't seem happy.

Jiraiya inhaled deeply and looked up to the tacky gold-leaf ceiling. "She's not right, either." His lips twisted into something ugly. Tsunade found herself holding her breath, not sure what might set him off. "Didn't recognize me, or know where she was."

The Hokage winced. "Well, to be fair, she has a right to be shaken," she tried to say diplomatically. "And Konoha doesn't look much like itself right now."

That hardly explained why she wouldn't recognize Jiraiya. It wasn't like he had a particularly common face. That failure was hardly a good sign. Something could be severely wrong in her head. Nagato did say that there might be some complications… She couldn't know without some idea of the physical damage, though. She did have the presence of mind to know that it wouldn't be diplomatic to ask Jiraiya for the gory details so that she could form a working hypothesis as to the problem.

Tsunade did have suspicions as to what had happened. There were other instances of what appeared to be serious brain damage in shinobi who had been posted along the wall, where that horrific ray had burst through. What were the odds that Nagato's technique was absolutely perfect enough to reconstruct and attach brain cells that even the best doctors didn't understand? She chewed the inside of her cheer unhappily. Even if the cells were all perfect, the electrical connections between them were the result of years of signals being transmitted in very individual ways. Could that really be rebuilt from scratch?

' _I'll have Shizune send me an update,_ ' Tsunade decided. Now that she was curious, she wanted to know. Actually, she should remind Shizune that there was likely to be an incident. It wasn't uncommon for shinobi waking up in hospital to lash out, but the medic nin could usually take care of themselves. With all the civilian nurses and doctors that would be helping out, it might be a good idea to exercise extra precaution…

Jiraiya noted the obvious exclusion, and gave her an amused look that told her he hadn't been tricked into thinking nothing was wrong. She gave him a queasy smile. It wasn't like she was going to lie to him.

"I must be even worse than I thought," Jiraiya sighed, scratching his filthy neck depreciatingly. "My godkid didn't recognize me. She was _scared_ of me, hime," he stressed, voice going up a little.

A deep sadness pulled at her chest. Unthinkingly, Tsunade crossed the distance and pulled her oldest friend into a slow hug. She wasn't a particularly small woman but she felt petite when her forehead rested against his pectorals. "We're a right pair, aren't we?" she murmured. "I always said I didn't want kids, but here we are. If Shizune and Sasuke aren't my brats, I don't know what they are." She tightened her arms protectively. "You did a good job with those kids," Tsunade stated firmly. "They're old enough to understand why you couldn't take them in, and it's obvious that you care. You did what you could. Naruto thinks the world of you, you know."

He gave an aborted laugh that expanded his chest enough that Tsunade's grip nearly slipped. "Not for long," Jiraiya joked uncomfortably. "I may have sent a toad or two to spy on him after everything calmed down."

Tsunade was surprised into a laugh.

"Hey, it's not that funny," he grumbled with a pout.

She shook her head and drew back, poking his chest. "It's not that. Katsuya is with Sasuke now. Great minds think alike, I think." She'd sent her summon to her student as soon as a dirty, yelping dog had limped his way to her after the fight. The note attached to the poor thing's collar had been illegible, but the blue vest marked him as one of Hatake's. When she'd seen it, Tsunade had discovered a new capacity to feel ill. She'd instantly assumed Sasuke was in trouble. Of course he wasn't, though. Hatake had apparently managed to rout Akatuki and snatch Ame… Which she needed to sit down and have a long debriefing about, apparently. Tsunade made a mental note.

"Paranoid old coots think alike," Jiraiya countered amiably. He didn't even wince when she whapped his chest. Instead, he took the blow with a smile, and rubbed the spot her palm had connected with. "I'll continue to be creepy tonight, I suppose. I don't want to scare her again, but I'd like to see that she's alright. Shizune isn't going to tattle on me if I come by while she's sleeping, right?" The expression on his face slipped slightly.

' _He probably doesn't want to find out it wasn't a fluke that she didn't recognize him,_ ' Tsunade assumed quickly, averting her gaze. _'It's not real if he doesn't deal with it, in a way.'_

Politely, she pretended not to notice the drop in his composure. There was no point in mentioning it. He was hardly going to fool anyone who knew them into thinking that he was really alright, and crying was hardly going to get what needed done or help keep the village in line. "I doubt it," Tsunade said wryly. "Not if you ask nicely."

Jiraiya was being a bit of a coward, but he probably wasn't wrong. It might be best not to surprise Aiko with too many new faces in a day, Tsunade figured. Waking up in the hospital would be overwhelming enough. She was hardly a mental health specialist who knew how best to approach someone best after an incident like yesterday's.

' _Shizune probably already knows to contact a civilian specialist,_ ' Tsunade decided. _'Probably several specialists, actually, since our worst casualties appear to be psychosomatic or otherwise non-physical.'_

They didn't have the capacity for so many mentally compromised shinobi at the best of times. When their own specialists were among the injured, the lack was profound. Already making plans, she turned back to her work.

* * *

When she next woke, it was to the feeling of rough sheets under her bare legs, and some sort of strap over them. It felt much like the ones around her wrists. She tensed instantly, bewildered and frightened.

' _What is going on—Where am I? Why am I tied down?'_

"Aiko, are you up?" A female voice called out from somewhere behind her. Quick steps crossed what must be a hard floor. "I'll loosen those in just a minute. Sorry about that, but when Jounin last remember being in combat conditions and wake up to the sound of people moving around, the first reaction is hard on medics, to say it lightly. There's a lot of civilian nurses around helping and no one wants to get skewered."

' _There's that name again,'_ she thought, mystified. Aiko, Aiko, Aiko. It didn't mean anything to her. That was supposed to be her name? At least it was inoffensive. She supposed it could belong to her.

The word Jounin, though, that was familiar. That was an upper-level ninja. She was an upper level ninja?

Funny. You'd think she'd remember a thing like that.

"We're actually in Otafuku Gai," the woman blathered on. Aiko cracked one eye open uncertainly to discover that a relatively young woman with short dark hair and a purple kimono was at her side. She flinched away, but all the woman did was reach out to tug on her restraints, fiddling with some type of buckle.

And god, she just wouldn't stop talking.

"Our hospital is in pretty poor condition, having been downtown. Tsunade-sama thinks that some of the lower level is salvageable, but it's obviously not anything approaching a sterile condition right now."

Did she ever get tired of hearing her own voice? If not, she could at least say something useful. Although that name was familiar. The grinning man had mentioned that name as well, before he'd gone tight-lipped and called for a medic. That had seemed like a good idea, until the split-second when she realized she was being put under with that irritating glowing palm technique.

"You'll be glad to know that there's very little in the way of casualties to speak of," the brunette chattered, pushing a bit of hair behind her ear as she finished freeing Aiko's hands. Aiko pushed herself into a seated position, warily keeping an eye on the older woman as she pulled a clipboard off the wall and settled down gracefully on a folding chair. "Nagato-san—oh right, you missed that part, but it turned out that the six Akatsuki were actually was one shinobi, Jiraiya-sama's old student Nagato-san from Ame."

' _Well, that clears everything up,'_ Aiko thought dully. She was beginning to suspect that this woman wasn't going to be any help at all. At least she didn't seem dangerous, other than maybe dangerously crazy.

"Anyway, Nagato-san used a forbidden jutsu that brought back anyone who had died in the fighting, because he realized that destroying Konoha wasn't going to help matters. Tsunade-sama and Katsuya-sama did their best with the injuries, of course, because Nagato-san's technique didn't do anything for anyone who wasn't actually dead. There's… well there's one death." The chatty nurse- at least, she was _probably_ a nurse- glanced down, looking a bit depressed.

Maybe she wasn't actually particularly talkative, Aiko judged. It could be that this nurse was going a bit stir-crazy from loneliness and was taking the chance to update someone as a break from work.

"How about the injured, then?" Aiko asked cautiously.

As she'd thought, the older woman seemed to need someone to talk to. Her face brightened a little, but she still looked more worn than her youth should have allowed. "For an invasion, it's without precedent," Chatty Nurse confided. "There's a lot of damage from smoke inhalation and broken bones, but other than that, the biggest problems we have are psychosomatic." She gave a sharp glance at Aiko's face that seemed to be searching for something, and her tone gentled slightly. "It's very traumatizing to remember losing a limb or dying."

Aiko nodded politely. That did sound traumatizing.

Something about her reaction must not have been what Chatty Nurse was looking for, because she frowned slightly and looked down at her clipboard. "How are you feeling? Any dizziness, aches, or disorientation?" she asked clinically.

She took a deep breath and brought her knees up to her chest, idly noting the ugly off-white hospital gown she was wearing. "I'm a little confused," Aiko admitted readily.

That was an understatement. She had no idea what the hell was going on and was feeling more than a little lost.

"Oh?" Chatty Nurse's eyes sharpened, and she looked up. "Do you not remember the fight, then? That's perfectly normal," she assured. "Sometimes, the brain protects itself by forgetting especially disturbing things."

' _What, like my whole life?'_ Aiko thought bemusedly, not thinking much of this woman's analysis. Her skepticism must have shown, because a flicker of exasperation crossed the older woman's face.

"Jiraiya-sama said that you were disoriented. Do you remember that? I think he was the one who found you."

Aiko cocked her head to the side. "Who, the old man who gave me his coat?" she asked curiously.

The smile froze on the older woman's face. "Aiko-chan, do you know who I am?" When she slowly shook her head, Chatty Nurse took a moment to respond. "Alright then," she added lightly. The tenseness in her neck and the intensity in her eyes were completely at odds with her professional, warm tone. "Nothing to worry about. I'm Shizune, Tsunade-sama's first apprentice, and Sasuke-kun's senpai. As I said before, temporary memory loss is not an unheard-of side effect of encountering something a bit scary or overwhelming. Let me just run a few tests."

She didn't seem to have much choice. Aiko was beginning to feel more than a bit frightened, despite Shizune's assurances that things would work out. If that were true, she probably wouldn't keep repeating it.

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

That wasn't hard. Three. Thumbs aren't fingers.

Despite her cautious optimism at that victory, Shizune was surprisingly hard to read when Aiko tried to gauge her for clues. That seemed especially odd for someone who had initially seemed so bland and inoffensive. The other questions were harder. Aiko shook her head helplessly, feeling lost and confused when asked the year or the current Kazekage. Shizune's lips thinned ever so slightly. Then the tests she performed after that had more to do with running unnervingly chilly fingers over Aiko's scalp and talking about things that didn't make much sense.

Frankly, she had no idea why it would matter that the proportions of her spiritual and physical chakra weren't matching those of her old records. Shizune didn't seem to understand how that could happen. She seemed outright confused herself when her tests didn't show any signs of swelling or torn tissue in the brain or anywhere else.

"Don't worry," Shizune said unconvincingly. "Your chakra will probably stabilize itself given time. That might not be related, anyways. Retrograde amnesia isn't usually totally permanent." She fussed with the bedsheets, apparently very concerned that Aiko's feet might get cold. Aiko curled her toes in and tried to sink back into the bed. "If it doesn't come back on its own in a few days, then it can probably be triggered." She glanced up at Aiko with a reassuring smile that did nothing for the nerves roiling in her stomach. "Familiar people and things should help you start to remember."

Aiko made a noncommittal sound, biting the inside of her cheek.

' _If that's true, why wouldn't I remember you? I'm seeing you now.'_

That was paranoid. Wasn't it? Maybe. She didn't really have any reason to believe anything this woman said. She'd woken up in a place she didn't recognize after what had obviously been a fight… and then woken up again, tied down. That wasn't something you did to a person you trusted. What evidence indicated that she was who Shizune said she was? Maybe it was a mistake.

Or worse, maybe it wasn't. Aiko gave Chatty Nurse a queasy smile, feeling vaguely nauseous.

The older woman took some pity and left her alone for a while.

'A while' stretched into a day. The facility seemed quiet. It was apparently more of a clinic than a hospital—the civilian town she had been re-located to while unconscious wasn't prepared for mass injuries, apparently. A civilian nurse fed her and –mortifyingly- promised to help her bathe later despite protests that she didn't need to be supervised. But that was her only visitor and excitement in between Shizune's short visits. The older woman appeared busy and distracted, definitely not in a mood to indulge her questions.

It was terribly, coldly, horribly lonely.

That meant that she had an awful lot of time to do nothing but think. Try as she might, she didn't remember anything new. She was pretty used to her name now, but she didn't really feel a connection to it. None of the people that Shizune talked about –Tsunade, Jiraiya, Sasuke—jogged any connections. The scenery out her window was uninspired as well as unfamiliar.

' _Is anyone looking for me?_ ' She wasn't allowed to leave the room, but she couldn't stand to lie in bed all day. So she paced, feeling trapped and lost. Shizune had said she knew her. So someone would be coming for her. They would be familiar to her and things would be alright and she would know what was going on.

Even her body was foreign. Aiko spent hours staring at her hands once the cold from the tile floors seeped into her feet and forced her to curl up under blankets. She puzzled over why her hands seemed so odd to her. Carefully, she placed the tips of her fingers against her cheeks and rubbed, marveling at the sensation the movement elicited. They were ridiculously soft and smooth, with rounded nails and short fingers. Was that so strange?

' _There's no callus,'_ she recognized, cataloguing an obvious deviation from the nurse's claim that she was a shinobi. Shouldn't she have callus if that were the case? The toes she wiggled were equally delicate-looking, but she couldn't find a trace of the scrape she remembered getting when she'd first woken up somewhere outside. So maybe she was just completely nuts and that was a false memory. She hoped not, and held onto it. It wasn't like she had many others.

The observation that she lacked callus was hardly a nail in the coffin of the story she'd been given, since she didn't fully trust her mind. Distrust in her perception was only fueled when she glanced at her upper arm in the shower, and had to blink twice at the pale skin. Once she realized that she had expected to see a tattoo, she knew her mind wasn't terribly reliable. Still, she'd scrubbed at the flesh as if hoping to uncover ink that would reinforce what her mind had expected. All she ended up with was sore, pink flesh and a loofah being gently pried out of her fingers.

She did have scars, which she counted as a point towards Shizune's story. When the light had been turned off and she was still alone and afraid, Aiko traced the curved imperfection below her ribcage curiously through the thin fabric of her hospital robe. She'd discovered that while in the shower but didn't have any more ideas about its origin than she did about the uglier, larger scar on her opposite hip.

Morning would bring answers. It had to.

But it didn't.

The side of her face was _on fire_. The skin was swelling and peeling open like a stepped-on grape and she knew her cheekbone would crack under the force and the pain was unimaginable, unbearable, unrealistic, rippling down to her lips and across her nose before she shattered entirely. And then Aiko woke up gasping.

She struggled for air, disoriented and still frightened. Until she realized that the dim red lights were from hospital machinery, and the slow tick outside in the distance was a hall clock.

"Just a dream," she whispered, curling her fingers into the messy sheets and resisting the urge to reassure herself by touching her face.

But what an odd dream. Where had her mind come up with the idea of her body bursting in slow motion? More than a little disturbed, Aiko slipped out of the covers and paced. She didn't dare turn on the light, knowing that there were probably nurses walking nearby on rounds. That meant that she stumbled and stubbed her toe in the dark, but it was better than getting scolded by some impersonal stranger.

As lonely and scary as it was to just wait for something to make sense or someone to come help her remember, she would have to be far more desperate for human company to intentionally coerce nurses for company. They didn't know her. They didn't want to spend time with her. They were doing a job. She wasn't that desperate.

' _Not yet, anyway,'_ Aiko thought glumly. Maybe she would be not too long from now.

But no. ' _I can't think like that. Shizune says she knows my friends. When I see her tomorrow, I'll ask. Maybe names will help.'_

Still. She couldn't help but doubt. If someone cared she was here, where were they? Was the old man she'd seen when she had first woken up someone important to her? Aiko didn't remember feeling any connection to him. He'd definitely known her, though. Or he knew of her, at least. Maybe she should see if she could talk to Jiraiya.

Shizune didn't seem to think that was plausible when she came by.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, leaning over to adjust something on a machine that was totally foreign to Aiko. "He's with Tsunade-sama. I've been left in charge of the hospital affairs while they deal with Ame and coordinate restoration efforts. I already sent notification that you woke up, but I'm not sure he'll be able to come right away."

Shizune closed the door behind herself quietly, and tried not to feel guilty about lying. Jiraiya had met with her last night, actually, and taken back hospital reports to Konoha proper.

' _He's not ready to actually talk to her,_ ' she justified to herself. ' _That's understandable. Jiraiya-sama has been throwing himself into his work, but he'll come around soon. Pressuring him to come too soon will just be a stressor for both of them."_

* * *

There was nothing dignified about having his single remaining (and much diminished) path propel the wheeled chair that carried his body out of Fire Country. At this point, Nagato wasn't sure that he deserved dignity, but he was still quietly thankful that the Hokage hadn't cared enough to force him to bring his actual body into Konoha.

' _It's a little hard to believe that's the woman that Jiraiya has been in love with since he was twelve,'_ Nagato mused. _'I had imagined someone a little less emotional and grudging.'_

Not that she didn't have cause for upset, of course. He had done more than a bit of harm to her city and her people.

Bitterly, he laughed. It turned into a cough. Yahiko's lungs had been full of smoke and acid for a rather long time. ' _Konoha hasn't been good to me either. I was wrong about their part in Yahiko's murder and our betrayal. But I'm sure they were the ones behind the rout in Ame.'_

It hadn't been in terribly good faith of him since the surrender had been his own initiative, but he'd withheld information. When it had become clear that he couldn't have a true victory, he'd had to turn his thoughts to his responsibilities. Even if he had managed a pyrrhic victory, he would have left his followers to the meager mercies of Konoha's allies.

Nagato had overestimated himself. He had begun to believe in Pein on a literal level. It had seemed so straight-forward at the time. Konoha did not have any fighter of his caliber, so he had believed himself invincible.

' _Foolish_ ,' he cursed himself. ' _A few shinobi who were as skilled as individual paths and a great deal more who were suicidally determined to stop me proved sufficient_.'

That was why villages banded together, after all. Many weak worms could writhe in an ugly mass and accumulate the weight of a higher being.

Nagato tried not to frown when he caught on to the bitter tone of his thoughts.

' _This childishness is below me.'_

He thought that, but it didn't change that he had refrained from telling the Hokage anything about Uchiha Madara. That had been a bout of immaturity unworthy of him, but it was already done.

Konan would take care of matters. He was leaving everything to her.

"How long do you plan on watching me?" Nagato asked mildly. He hadn't been alone since he had passed out of Konoha's immediate border patrol route. If he were truthful, he was mildly surprised that his stalker had waited this long to show himself.

It wasn't possible to express a glower from behind a candy-colored mask. Somehow, Uchiha Madara accomplished it regardless. "Pein," he all but rumbled, clearly irritated.

"Nagato," he corrected mildly.

It was fairly obvious that Madara wouldn't care if he chose to call himself Princess Buttons.

Nagato repressed a sigh, having his path stop walking. Obediently, Yahiko's body stood silently and waited. He had known as soon as it became clear that he had failed that he had to die to open the way for Ame to forge a new path. It was the only way left that he could be of use.

He hadn't planned for that death to come at Madara's hands, but he was hardly surprised either.

* * *

Obito scowled, resisting the urge to shake the little bottle until the eyes inside pulped into jelly against the clear glass.

All those years of squirreling into Nagato's idiotic graces, manipulating the useless baka, and keeping him alive were wasted now. Nagato's only use had been that he had the one kekkai genkai that would make it possible for Madara to be raised from the dead to participate in the Eye of the Moon Plan. That was one of the most important steps.

Not for the first time, he thought longingly of forgoing the pretense that he was Madara's servant. He was an Uchiha too, and powerful in his own right. Obito could do it. The Rinnegan were powerful beyond all reason. In his hands, they would be far more fearsome than anything Pein could have dreamed up.

He couldn't get the job done alone, however. Obito would need help. His most dedicated helper, Zetsu, was only his ally because Obito was pretending to work towards Madara's interests. Without a chump to eventually play the role of the sacrifice (even if Obito never actually let matters deteriorate to that point) Zetsu would act against him.

The obvious answer was that Obito should find another disposable body to put the Rinnegan in. The disposable part was not a terribly difficult criterion. When he would be able to revive everyone with the ultimate genjutsu, there wasn't such a thing as a true loss. The more difficult conundrum was selecting the body. It was highly unlikely that he would actually let them raise Madara, but he had to act as though he would. That meant picking a viable target, someone who could actually use the Rinnegan properly.

Preferably, it would be someone he could easily control. Obito could use Sharingan mind control on anyone but another Uchiha, if matters became desperate.

It was a pity that the Rinnegan could only be wielded well by one of the sage's descendents. That ruled out the vast majority of the living population. Obito wouldn't have used Itachi in any case, petulant and paranoid as the boy was. He didn't need to be more powerful. But Sasuke would have been a reasonable substitute. Of course, he couldn't be reliably controlled with the Sharingan into compliance, and Obito couldn't afford another loose cannon with the Rinnegan. That lesson had been learned.

' _Besides, I would have to pry him away from Senju Tsunade,'_ Obito noted with no small taste of amusement. No, thank you. That woman was more than a bit imposing.

She was another poor option, despite being the last of the Senju. Controlling a medic-nin renowned for her perfect chakra control and detail-oriented personality would be a risky proposition. That ruled out the two families directly descended from the Sage. Leaving only the family that Nagato had belonged to.

Obito left two mangled corpses and a broken metal chair on the road in favor of safely hiding away his newly acquired prizes. The Sharingan he had were valuable for both practical and sentimental reasons, but the Rinnegan were irreplaceable and one of a kind.

_'Life goes on,'_ Obito thought wearily, not allowing himself to wallow.

* * *

Aiko sat up straight fast enough to make her a little woozy. She peered suspiciously at her closed door with pursed lips.

She smelled something that made her heartbeat speed up. It didn't even occur to her to wonder at the fact that she detected a change in the scent of the hallway a fair distance away, or even realize that her senses were far keener than they should be. Why shouldn't her senses be sharp? Of course, Aiko didn't know what she was smelling, either, so she was all-around clueless. Whatever it was, it was familiar somehow.

' _Should I go look?'_ Uncertain, she lingered with her toes dangling to the floor for just a moment longer. That gave the man outside time to push her door open.

Her first look didn't give her any particular feeling. Not attachment or fondness or even the fear she had known at the sight of the last (and only other) man she remembered seeing. It was just a man—quite a bit taller than her, with fairly broad shoulders, dark hair, and a relieved look on his face.

She blinked, checking that her first impression had been right. Yes, it looked like relief.

"Aiko-chan," he breathed, one side of his mouth curling up ever so slightly. The other stayed stiff and still. "I suppose you don't remember me. How are you feeling?"

"Um, okay?" she half-asked, giving him a shy smile. Her first visitor! Shizune had said that someone would come. Relief bubbled up in her gut. She wasn't alone. No matter what the nurse had said, it had felt that way when no friends had conveniently welled up to greet her or take her home.

Honestly… She'd started to seriously consider that the woman had been lying. It begged disbelief that anyone and everyone who cared about her just happened to be absent from town for two whole days. Well. A day and a half, but still.

But here someone was, happy to see her and actually asking about her well-being. Besides, he obviously knew about her forgetfulness, and wasn't making her feel nervous or apologetic about it. He probably had answers for her.

"What's that?" Aiko asked curiously, pointing guilelessly at the paper that her new/old friend was clenching in his left hand. They were awfully wrinkled.

"Your medical information," he explained, oddly amused for some reason. "I didn't think it was a good idea to leave it here. We need to go."

At that, she paused. "Go where?" Aiko asked uncertainly. Could they really just check out? It seemed like something she would need Shizune's permission for. On the other hand, he seemed like he knew what he was talking about. That was probably how he got her information, come to think of it. He must have already talked to Shizune.

His eyelashes were long and pretty, she realized when he blinked slowly at her. Though there was something strangely asymmetrical about the way the skin on one side of his face moved when he smiled. "Do you trust me? There's a lot to tell you, but here isn't a good place to be."

That was an understatement, not that she knew it. He'd hypnotized Shizune in the nurse's station down the hall. Someone was going to notice that eventually, even if she didn't wake up on her own. Obito's hand shook imperceptibly as he slowly held it out, fingers splayed slightly.

The situation was perfect. Almost too perfect. Nervous energy had him nearly on the verge of fidgeting. Some kami had clearly sped his way. He'd been given a second chance to keep his plan on track, despite the loss of his decoy organization and most valuable chump. If he could just convince Aiko to trust him, he wouldn't have to genjutsu her into compliance. She would be an excellent decoy for his ambitions. She was the only option, really, and not only had she survived what appeared to have been a near-apocalypse in Konoha, but she was as vulnerable to a new worldview as a person could be.

He was doing an excellent job of not lingering on the guilty knowledge that Minato-sensei's children really deserved better. It was for a good purpose.

His eyes met hers, and Obito tried not to look too eager. He drowned out the sense that Madara was mocking him, ignored Tobi's chatter, and tried to look unintimidating. He all but sparkled with his obvious good mood, not a bit bothered by the blood on his sandals from his recent scuffle or the fact that he could sense a very familiar chakra signature far too close for comfort. All she had to do was say she trusted him.

Aiko took a deep breath, glanced down at her bare feet, and clearly struggled with indecision. But just for a moment. She peered up at him shyly and reached out one pale little hand to rest against his callused palm. Obito grinned.

"Hold on tight," he warned good-naturedly. "You don't like this technique much."

And then they were gone from the little trading town on the outskirts of Fire Country's foremost military power, only minutes before the alarm went off downstairs.

* * *

Medical Note to Show This is Not Being Pulled From My Butt

I was referencing something set up in the 'prequel' section of chapter two, now. Yeah. That's old. If you know what I'm talking about, internet high-five! Speaking of which, I pulled the prologue out of there and put it in ch 1.

Anyway.

Ribot's Law :

French psychologist Theodule-Armand Ribot was among the first scientists to study amnesia. He proposed Ribot's Law which states that there is a time gradient in retrograde amnesia. The law follows a logical progression of memory-loss due to disease. _First, a patient loses the recent memories, then personal memories, and finally intellectual memories._ He implied that the most recent memories were lost first.[8]

That's off the Wikipedia page on amnesia, the italics are mine. Disreputable source, I know, but I never studied psychology in depth and that's what I found. That's not exactly the theory I'm working with for what's happened here, but it's something I used to help me understand how the brain works in instances of memory loss.

* * *

**Another Author's Note. You'll Want to Read This One.**

Surprise, guys. This was the last chapter. It's done. Over. Fin.

No, that's not a joke. I'm both genuinely apologetic and laughing at my keyboard hysterically. The ending is both completely perfect and something that only a complete jackass would write. I'm one of the cruelties of life, I guess.

Quote from the first person to read this chapter, a ridiculous amount of drafts ago:

"You are evil. I'm pretty sure I hate you right now? WHY IS THIS THE END?"

I think she might have reached through the internet and slapped me, were it possible. Quite fairly so, to be honest.

Yes, I know. You probably do hate me, if you're not sure. I'm sorry to do this to you guys. I can be truly sorry while I giggle.

Oh, I'm seriously kind of sad. This story got me through my senior year. I spent a whole semester on this. And now it's over.

It's getting difficult for me to navigate this enormous thing. As I was trying to condense my outline so that I could finally finish this and regain a small piece of my sanity, it was pointed out that what's coming up seems like a whole different story. And I realized, ' _Shit_. It is.' And I had to go to my sad place for a while and think about my life and my choices. Turns out, they're not great choices.

If it's any consolation, there's a sequel, which is largely outlined. Don't feel bereft. Basically, it's going to be _the same story in a new document_ because I'm tired of seeing this million page monstrosity. It will begin where this one left off (or slightly before the last scene, actually, if all goes as planned, from Tobito and Kakashi's perspectives so you know what you missed).

I'm making no promises on speed or length or that I'll come up with a better title for this one (I do seem to be terrible at that). My sister is really pushing for "Eyes of the Tiger: Obito gets a story arc", or the "The Tobito-ing". In her worldview, he should be featured in every chapter, even if it's just a drabble of him kicking someone under the table in a board meeting or sitting on the can or something. If I have no inspiration, you'll probably be seeing "The Tobito-ing" come up on your alerts later. (My life, my choices, they are so bad...)

That got way off topic. I would like to say that this has been a hell of a ride, guys, and it was awesome for me. I hope it was fabulous for you too. If it wasn't, you have some serious fucking issues with flagellation, dude, because you just read almost 200,000 words of something that you thought was just 'ok' or even worse. What, do you _like being sad_? Well, I guess that's ok. I'm not here to judge. Continue being happy or being unhappy (whichever you prefer) until we meet again, I suppose.

_Please_ review, I would love to hear from you. :3 But not with, 'Why would you do this to me, you heartless bastert'. Because I feel I already answered that query up above: I'm a heartless bastert and Vapors is just too damn big, that's why.

Sayonara.


	103. Sequel and link

I just finally realized that I never got around to putting this update here, even though there's one on ff. So just a heads up-- the sequel is posted, and has eight chapters up as of 8/17/2014.

That would be Clarity, if you haven't seen that yet. Next in the series. It starts out a bit grim according to readers (doesn't seem so bad to me), but there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Promise.

Also, I made a blog! I'm filling it with questions and drabbles and bits cut out from this 'verse. All sorts of fluff and stuff. Feel free to swing by. <3

http://electraposts.tumblr.com/

Pretty sure that's right. Anyway, if you're not quite ready to resign  yourself to that admittedly grim ending, there's happier stuff on tumblr. And lots of shipping, a lot of people like the shipping drabbles? I think I tagged all of those with 'requested drabbles'. Pretty sure. There's also character headcanons and stuff which I thought would be me talking at a vacuum but have actually gone over pretty well. *shrugs*

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [To Read](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2628044) by [TrickedThem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrickedThem/pseuds/TrickedThem)
  * [Vapors/Clarity Fan Drabbles](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3935056) by [CrownsofLaurels (laurel1020)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurel1020/pseuds/CrownsofLaurels)




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